#i felt bad changing it. he was so proud to have chosen it

[inkskinned]

hello! are there any updates on the book, date, where to buy etc ? can't wait, I love your work ! ♥️

it's yours in september :)

click thru below to see what i look like w/long hair. it's short now, but my heart is bigger.

so many things to talk about this. when there's a link to purchase, i'll talk more but - all i can say now is that i am so grateful for each of you. for every single note and comment and thought. i can't wait to share this part of my life.

this is easily the best thing i've ever written. bar none. i want to give it to you so, so badly.

my life has been more bright for having you each in it. i am keeping you like stars in my heart.

[biolumien]

... carried flower petals

pt 2 to this

notes: I AM. such a bad writer. help. going through double the stages of grief on this one. who even cares. who even gaf! i don't. im winning in the dgaf wars. (lying)

samurai!soshiro hoshina x fem!reader NSFW! w/ m/f sex. no i did not proofread this. this isn't a flex i actively just squinted trying not to look too hard at my own writing. this is also hoshina pov word count: 2415

hoshina supposes that he couldn’t blame you for your reaction. there was no way you would have been happy about marrying him, a complete and utter stranger–no matter how many times you might have met prior. and in the three times you’d met, he’d tried to keep his distance. there was an aura of deep discontent about you, and he didn’t want to disturb you, for fear that your anger would turn darker.

at least, until you pulled a dagger on him.

the dagger that he’d gifted you, no less. 

or, well–he hadn’t gifted it to you directly. he had selected the gift, but it had come alongside the marriage offer–and so hoshina wondered if you’d conflated the dagger as something utterly negative. when he’d picked out the dagger, he’d vowed it to keep you safe from harm. a selfish well-wishing on his part, sure–as a samurai, he was bound to make enemies that could hurt you.

he raises a hand to his neck, touching where you might have slashed him.

would he have let you? 

he brings himself to his feet as the sliding door to his room opens. you stand in the doorway, dressed in a simple nightgown–a far cry from the garments you wore during the ceremony. 

his mind flits back to them, for a moment–you’d chosen to wear pure white, contrasting him in his black haori and hakama. your expression had been severe, distant even then. you’d followed your new attendants into the quarters of your new housing within the hoshina clan’s home to change out of your wedding attire, and you hadn’t met his glance once.

you bow your head.

“your attendants tell me you’re quite the talent in bed,” you say, your voice crisp. your eyes meet his, your gaze unreadable. his eyes flick to your hands, folded neatly in front of you–and yet your fingers are fidgeting ever so slightly, a possible indication of just how nervous you were. 

hoshina can’t help but laugh.

“is that what they say? my mother can’t help but find people that run their mouths…” hoshina runs a hand through his hair. “sit. i can’t have my wife–” the word still felt foreign to him–wife, he was really a husband, was that even a moniker that fit him?–but he swallows his misgivings, pats one of the cushions next to the futon. “–standing for so long. it would be unfitting.”

“so are you?” you gather your kimono, sitting down. 

hoshina hums.

“if i tell you, would you see me differently?” hoshina asks.

“well. you’re my husband,” you say. the corners of your lips twitch when you say the word husband, your brow furrowing a little bit as you say it. a clear show of your definite displeasure. “i have to… accept it, after all. as your wife. hell, your attendants tell me that you were in the process of courting concu–”

“ahh,” hoshina leans his head back. “so is that what that’s all about?” he sighs, a strange, tightening pressure forming somewhere in his throat. the marriage acceptance hadn’t been on his end. it’d been his father’s, much to his mother’s chagrin. you were from a no-name clan, having long lost your family’s relevance. his mother had complained about your family’s name dragging down the hoshina family’s name.

but as hoshina reminisced–he couldn’t give a damn about his family name.

his brother–his proud, arrogant, stubborn, awful brother–had made his opinion on their family name very clear, by just leaving.

hoshina did resent him for it, just a little. it just meant that he couldn’t run away, now. 

“no. the concubine rumor’s bullshit,” hoshina says. “quite honestly, i couldn’t be bothered. i’m not in the interest of producing my family an heir.”

“huh?” you ask, sounding confused. “but–” “i mean. the sex is fine,” hoshina says candidly, placidly. “and if the family gets an heir, we get an heir. but it’s never been my concern. i think you ought not to worry about it, either. our families need each other. it’ll be reason enough for you to stay.” 

you stare at him, perplexed for the moment, before your brow also furrows. 

“so, you… don’t, want—”

“mm. you pulled a knife on me last time we talked,” hoshina teases as he begins to undo his ponytail. “i thought that made your opinion on me fairly clear. i won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable if you don’t want it. my folks won’t be happy, but there’s nothing like lying that can’t fix that.” he runs a hand through his hair. “so it’s your call.”

you watch him. 

“it’s fine,” you say. you lean in closer to him, and he simply watches you—watches you like he did on the first day the two of you met, watches you like he did when you raised the dagger to his throat. always watching, waiting for you to make the first move. 

“i’d rather just get it over with,” you say. ��the first time.” 

“mm. as you command, then,” hoshina says. 

when he leans in to kiss you, he does it slowly. you taste faintly of the sake you drank during the marriage ceremony, though the alcohol has long worn off. 

he wishes he could take you apart more cleanly. to take you apart with intention. he can draw the lines from the veins in your wrist to the beating, fluttering of your heart in your breast. you kiss him with your eyes open, as if you’re watching for his every movement. he supposes that he’s watching you, too, trying to see what you’ll do. what you like. 

“are you just going to kiss me?” you murmur, something like spite in your voice. “or are you actually going to show me something interesting?” 

“interesting?” he pulls back from the kiss, raising an eyebrow. 

“i’ve read all the woodcuts,” you say. “as apparently was my duty as your wife. i was just wondering if there was anything more interesting than that.” 

“mm. you can’t possibly learn what it feels like through reading alone,” hoshina says. “experience is the best teacher.”

“big talk,” you retort. hoshina almost hates the way his heart flutters at your words, entranced by you. one hand reaches out to touch your face, the other hand gently reaching down to undo your obi as he pulls you closer to him, letting you straddle his lap. 

“i’m afraid most of my lovers say i’m a talkative one,” hoshina purrs. “but i hope you’ll find me satisfactory.” when he leans in to kiss you again, your sash falls gently onto the ground, and the inner layers of your kimono come undone.  

he’s had no small share of lovers—or, well, general brothel experience, he supposes. he’s a man in the end—a samurai from a family of renown, for whom many lovers might have found him appealing simply for how much money he was willing to pay for good service. but he knows what he’s doing, in any case.

he revels in it, though—at how responsive and jittery you seem to be. the faintest touch of his hand against your skin is enough to make you jolt out of your skin, and you whimper ever so slightly as his fingers pull at a nipple, and he feels your pulse jump in your throat as his teeth graze at your neck. he feels you shift against him, attempt to press your thighs together and he laughs. 

he’s surprised there, too—the way you shudder when he laughs, as he’s pressed against you. 

when his fingers seek between your legs, he’s thrilled, but still surprised to find the telltale sign of slick. 

“mm. this wet already, really?” hoshina teases. his hand brushes against your inner thigh, coaxing you to spread your legs a little more, and he feels your leg twitch against the shift of his knuckles. “you’re desperate.” 

“as if.” your breath sounds shuddery, and hoshina laughs, not meanly. he wonders how he could take you apart—could he use just his mouth? his fingers? the mere suggestion of touching you, just using words alone? he wanted to know, desperately so. desperately in the same way he wanted to know your heart, if only you’d let him. but in the meantime, he smiles—and it’s more of a smirk. 

he takes his fingers to his mouth, sucking the wetness from his fingers, and he revels in the way you flush, a half-scandalized and half-flustered sound escaping your mouth. 

“it’s alright,” hoshina says, teasing. 

“i don’t—need you to tell me it’s alright,” you say, flustered. “i just—”

“less talking from you,” hoshina says, fondly. gently. he’s entranced by you, the swell of your breast and the way your skin flushes red from your neck to your collarbones. he wishes he could sink his teeth into your pulse—or would you give him your beating heart, let him devour the tender organ? “you’re doing wonderfully. do you feel up for more?” 

you pause, biting your lip. he marvels at the way your fingers twitch against his in anticipation, and your brow furrows. 

“let—i want to be on top,” you say, and hoshina simply smiles. 

“alright,” he acquiesces. “i’m all yours.”

that much was true. he was learning far too quickly that he was very much a man that would follow you anywhere, that he was at your beck and call. 

you help him undress with shaking hands, pulling his belt away and pushing the kimono from his shoulders. your hands stop for a moment as you survey his chest—hoshina watches your face, propped back and leaning back on his hands. your fingers press against a deep scar against his chest, and your eyes meet his. 

“long story,” hoshina says softly. “not the kind i’d tell my wife on our first night together, anyhow.” 

your hand gently touches his cock and he hisses, practically, wincing at how it feels like too much and not much at all. it takes most of his discipline to not rut up into the touch, to let himself be taken by that pleasure. you gently push him back, letting him lie back against the futon. 

as you lower yourself slowly onto his cock, hoshina watches as your fingers flex against his chest, your eyes squeeze and your toes desperately curl. he shifts his hips a little bit, and you whimper. 

“don’t tease,” you keen. 

“m’not.”

hoshina thinks it’s quite the opposite, really. he’s a patient man, but not this patient. you’re about halfway down his cock at this point, slowly taking him in bit by bit—and then his patience just snaps somehow when he hears you whine again. not in a bad way—just in a he’ll fucking die like this, he’s sure kind of way. 

you gasp immediately as he thrusts up, causing you to bottom out. your hips meet his, and you lean your head back, a loud and desperate moan leaving your lips. 

“y-you awful man,” you moan out, something like a pout in your tone. “i wanted to take my time—”

“mm—hm. sorry,” hoshina teases, not quite apologetic at all. his voice strains a bit—you feel almost like a fire, your cunt desperately squeezing against his cock. “just don’t think i’ll last long with you squeezing me like this. does it feel that good?”

your face flushes, your hair plastered to your forehead. 

“shut up.”

“i’ll take that as a yes, then,” hoshina says, unrepentant in the way he thrusts up into you, reveling in the way you respond to each movement with tiny little whimpers that stretch into longer and longer cries. you don’t say his name, but he finds himself uncaring for the moment. does he wish you’d say his name? does he wish, however selfishly, that this moment might burn itself into your memory?

surely he doesn’t. it would be unbecoming of him to ask that much. 

your hand leans out, digging into his skin, and he lets out a soft, raspy breath, taking your hand into his. 

“‘m close,” you whimper out through shaking breaths, and hoshina’s heart squeezes again, at the way your hips cant against his, as if each touch almost hurts, but you can’t help but continue to press your hips against his, trying to find more traction. hoshina smirks, his free hand reaching out to thumb at your clit, flicking upwards, and tries to see if he can memorize the way you seize up against him, the way you squeeze down on his cock–tries to see if he can memorize every twitch.

he hopes he can.

you cum soon after, and your hand digs into his so hard that he wonders if you might be able to break his fingers one day–and hopes that you can. he holds you tightly against him, letting you ride out the waves of your orgasm as you whimper tiny uh, uh, uhs–until you wince.

“hurts, i–please,” you say, and hoshina takes pity on you for the moment, pulls out, and strokes soothingly at your face. your chest heaves, and hoshina thinks he could get lost in your every motion. as hoshina shifts to move away–he’d rather prioritize your comfort over his in the end, so despite the fact that he was hard to the point it almost hurt, he figured he’d just deal with it on his own—you shift up.

“but you–you didn’t,” you say after a moment, grabbing his wrist. 

“hm?” hoshina hums. “mm. don’t worry about me, dear. i’m more than capable of–fuck, you–” his voice halts right as your hand wraps around his cock, your thumb grazing over the head of it ever so gently. “fuck. you-you don’t have to–”

“please,” you say, something like disdain–or spite? or something, he really couldn’t tell–in your voice. “i can do this much.”

he cums embarrassingly fast–the mixture of being so strung out at this point, so strangely affected, enamored by you–and he can’t help but laugh. he wants to press his face into your collarbone, but he can’t bring himself to cross the distance. he hums, instead, simply exhaling through his teeth for a moment.

“get some rest,” hoshina says. he watches as your face shifts ever so slightly–and he wishes he knew you better, if only so he could understand what you were thinking.

“alright,” you say.

hoshina fears he’s in love.

but the part of him that knows better says he shouldn’t be. he watches silvery moonlight paint the planes of your back, and you turn away from him, lost in sleep. 

he sighs.

[fatkish]

hashiras x child reader 12 year old girl who is a soldier with impressive combat skills, she knows a lot about firearms, she is a good strategist, for hand-to-hand combat, and she has too much strength for a 12 year old girl, her personality is somewhat proud and arrogant and enthusiastic like gabi braun from snk You may have met her during a mission in a military camp preparing and training. I really can't think of any other way they could have met her.

(I hope you don’t mind, I saw that you had sent @petitelepus the same request so I wanted to change it up just a little bit to it’s not exactly the same. Instead of being like Gabi Braun, I’m going to make her similar to Killua Zoldyck from HxH)

Hashiras x Child Soldier Reader

Your family has long since known about the existence of demons. One of your ancestors had learned about breathing styles and was previously a shinobi. After facing against demons and accessing their strength and abilities, he realized that humans needed lots of training in order to fight demons and survive . As soon as he had children he began training each to resist extreme pain by torture of all sorts, training them to be resistant to poison, he taught them how to kill. Generations went by and steadily, your family became increasingly stronger.

From the moment you were born, you were trained. You’re parents would often capture weaker demons and bring them back for you and your siblings to fight. Each child fought alone against a demon. Often times your parents would target demons that used poisons and particularly troubling blood demon arts. As you grew older, the demons you fought would be stronger and stronger. When you were nine, your parents managed to capture a lower moon and they made you face it. It took you hours but eventually you fought and killed it. After that, your parents captured 20 demons and locked them up, starving them before sending you in against them.

Your family’s main house is located on an island off of Japan. Your family makes sure that they are well hidden from demons so that Muzan doesn’t find them. Your family takes on assassinations, escorting people, espionage, etc. and receives money from it. Your family often steals the swords of fallen demon slayers and brings them back to your family’s blacksmith to reforge. When you were 12 you left your family and Kagaya’s crows caught sight of you and lead him to you. You had never been treated lovingly or kindly, and you were stunned by how kind Kagaya was.

Kagaya understood that your lifestyle didn’t give you the ability to understand morals and ethics. He saw how skilled you were and decided to ask you to join the corps. You felt so at peace with him and told him everything you’ve been through. Despite knowing that you’ve killed people, he happily welcomed you into the corps. He made you a Hashira and introduced you to the others. The other Hashira were skeptical about you at first. But as they got to know you better they realized that you weren’t such a bad person and that you were a victim of your family. Their thoughts on you are as follows:

Sanemi Shinazugawa:

If I ever see that kid’s parents I’m going run my fist right through their faces. Who the hell puts their kids through torture and forces them to fight demons? The kid is pretty strong and has decent talent, I won’t lie, but that’s no excuse for what those bastards put their kids through. (He deeply respects you and often checks in on you to see how you’re doing but he never admits that he does it out of concern, he’s always got some kind of excuse)

Kyojuro Rengoku:

I’ll admit, while I’m not thrilled about the fact that the kid has killed people, I cannot blame them for not understanding how precious life is when they were never taught it. However, I am proud that they have chosen to leave their past behind and fight to protect lives instead of taking them. They are very strong and it disgusts me what their parents put them through but nevertheless, I am happy to take them under my wing and teach them.

Obanai Iguro:

Despite our similarities we are incredibly different. Both of our families have too much blood on their hands but unlike me, the kid doesn’t believe that they are tainted by their blood. While it sickens me that they can kill people so easily, I do understand that they can’t be blamed for taking life when they were never truly taught right from wrong. The kid’s morals are severely skewed but they are trying to change which is what matters.

Tengen Uzui:

The kid and I often talk about life experiences and how different things are now that we’re both not living under our family’s thumbs. We both went through similar training as children and while they might not have had to kill their siblings, they did lose some to the training the went through. My wives love the kid and often dote on them. Whenever the kid doesn’t understand something they often come to me to explain things, and of course, as the god of festivals, I’ve taken them to plenty of festivals and showed them how to enjoy them.

Giyuu Tomioka:

They talk to me which is nice. They enjoy sparring with me and we often have tea and sit in silence together which is also nice. I didn’t know how to feel about the kid at first, but after talking to them and spending time with them, I learned that they aren’t a bad person. They’re strong and they want to use that strength to protect people instead of harming them. I enjoy their company.

Muichiro Tokito:

Oh, them? Why does it matter that they’re close to my age? They do make for a decent sparring partner though. I can’t remember but something tells me that they did bad things in their past. Whatever, I can’t remember so I guess it doesn’t matter.

Shinobu Kocho:

They kind of remind me of Kanao in a way. While it is a shame that they were raised the way they were, there isn’t anything that can be done about the past. Although it is concerning how often they come to me covered in wounds from battle that they didn’t notice. Sometimes I wonder if they truly didn’t notice their many wounds or if they just put up with the wounds until they became too numerous and troublesome. I often have to scold them for their reckless disregard for their health, but otherwise they’re a good kid.

Mitsuri Kanroji:

It just breaks my heart to hear what all they suffered through. I can’t imagine a parent doing such things to their own children. I have made it my personal goal to make sure that they know what it is to love and be loved. They’re so cute I often forget how strong they are. They’re so sweet to me and they don’t even think it’s weird how much I eat or how strong I am.

Gyomei Himejima:

It truly saddens me to know that they have taken the lives of their fellow humans. Even though they were taught to kill and nothing else, they still wish to do good with what they know. I pray the gods have mercy on this child’s soul when they die, though they have slain others, they did not know any better. Despite their wrong doings, they are actively trying to repent for their deeds by doing good which is admirable. They often come to me to seek guidance in regards to the moral and ethical dilemmas they face. I will do my utmost best to guide them.

[hispg]

Between royalty and vows

Pairings: Prince! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: A forced marriage, a fate set in stone, nothing could change that.

In the world of royalty, there were no choices, only obligations to fulfill. What you didn't expect was to become engaged to a renowned prince, ready to succeed the lineage.

Until that moment, you still had some hope that everything would work out, maybe it wasn't so bad. But it would be a shame if your future husband had a mistress.

Wouldn't it?

Wc: 2.8k

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt/ comfort, cheating, arranged marriage, eventual smut, one-sided love, affairs, manipulative behavior from Leon, male chauvinism, misogyny (I'll put more once things start to progress).

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

Chapter 7: Unforgettable

The sun was only just coming up, but you had already been awake for a long time. You weren't even allowed to sleep properly that day, after all, the bride had to get up early to prepare for the big occasion. The wedding.

You were surrounded by the queen's ladies, several seamstresses and other maids, some of whom you had never seen set foot in this castle.

In this preparation, no part of you was forgotten, you were adorned from head to toe, from the veil that covered your head to the delicate satin shoes that embellished your feet. Not even if you looked for a strand of hair out of place would you find one. You were dressed like a queen, a beauty so stunning that it could make anyone fall at your feet.

Everyone but the one you wanted.

When your eyes caught sight of yourself in the mirror, you could see every detail of your dress with the utmost clarity. The delicate silk, the lace seams that made sophisticated patterns, just by looking at it you could tell it was too expensive.

The jewelry that Leon had given you a few days ago was now all on you, from necklaces to earrings, or the crown that was on your head, which he had also chosen for you.

You were the bride, but you felt like a stranger in your own wedding, as if it wasn't yours, the intruder was you, the bride herself.

"You look beautiful, Your Highness." One of the maids said, looking at you with admiration.

You then smiled, a forced but beautiful smile, and thanked her with a nod of your head. You made a few more adjustments to your dress yourself. Until then, without realizing the queen's presence at the door, the lady looked at you from top to bottom.

"You look perfect, dear." She said in a velvety voice, approaching you.

Since the last 'disagreement' with the queen, she had been a little distant from you, but apparently everything had passed and she was acting as if nothing had happened. Maybe she just wants to make up.

"You're the perfect suitor for my son, that's why I chose you." She says, as if proud of the fact.

"Thank you, Your Grace." You say in a soft voice, keeping your smile.

She paused, coming up behind you and putting her hands on your shoulders.

Of course you knew your obligation as a woman, but hearing her say that she chose you as if you were just a pretty product on the shelf, didn't seem right.

"I imagine it wasn't easy." You say, trying to get into the same frame of mind as her.

She then nodded, gently adjusting a few details of your veil.

"It's hard to find someone who's worthy of being a prince's wife, it's not easy, being a good wife is a hard chore." She says, letting her fingers trace your necklace.

You gave her a sidelong glance, gathering all your respect, holding your tongue so as not to say something you might regret.

"I'm sure I'll be adequate." You replied politely.

"I'm sure of it, I can already imagine that you'll be able to liven up this castle. Especially when you start giving me heirs." That word sent shivers down your spine, not in a good way.

You always thought that having children would come from an act of passionate love, from those tenuous moments that formed between a couple. But it didn't take long for you to realize that it was just an obligation, and that sooner or later you would be forced to fulfill it.

"Are you already thinking of heirs, Majesty?" You murmured, thinking out loud and not realizing that you had said it out loud.

In a quiet response, she let her hands rest on your abdomen, as if she were seeing the prospect of a child in there.

"That's one of your main purposes, dear. To give my son heirs." You tried your best not to feel disgusted by the tone used, but the idea that you were just an object, destined to fulfill a role at court, was disturbing.

"I also depend on your son's will." You say, gently and firmly removing her hands from your body.

You knew what she was getting at with this manipulation.

"My son will not disappoint." She retorts, watching you support yourself on your heels and head for the exit of your room.

"No of course he won't, he already has." You say without thinking, sharp, harsh words slipping out of your mouth.

You only saw the queen change her expression, which at this point was no longer friendly, but had turned into a gray, angry expression. As if sent from heaven, Chris was charged with taking you to the carriage, and to your surprise he was already waiting for you at the door.

"Your Highness." He said with the same cutting smile as always, expecting you to accompany him.

And you did so without much thought, walking alongside him, trying to disguise the nervous look on your face

"Leon is already waiting for you at the cathedral." He says politely, helping you down the stairs.

"Oh, then we should hurry." You say, lifting up your dress so you can walk more quickly.

"We'll be there in time, don't worry." He assures you, holding your hand as you descend.

Once you had reached the main hall, you heard buzzing here and there, but you couldn't quite make it out. Until you focused your attention on a subject that was of great interest to you.

"I hear that Princess Ashley is very ill! She won't even be able to attend the wedding!" One of the maids commented to Ausdret, who was listening attentively.

"Get back to your duties, there's a lot to do!" Ausdret retorted, giving no room for any gossip to continue.

Ashley sick, a severe cold? Or some more serious illness? In fact, she'd have to be very ill not to attend such an event, or perhaps it's an excuse?

Chris certainly sensed your uncertainty, and promptly muttered, "It'll be fine. You look gorgeous, and so will the wedding."

You felt a small sense of relief, but it was enough to make you put your head together and think about the day ahead.

"Yes, it'll be fine." You murmured back to Chris, sounding more like something to you than to him.

In a cozy silence, he took you to the carriage waiting outside, where they were already waiting for you.

"Good luck, Your Highness." Chris whispers just for you to hear, giving you a gentle smile.

You nod, trying to force your best smile. Despite the storm in your heart, you needed to keep everything in order. Once you got into the luxurious carriage, you knew there was no turning back. And you had chosen that, now all you had to do was wait for the road to end and you would be at the altar, sealing an illusory commitment.

Once you got out of the carriage, you heard the trumpets sounding to announce your arrival, and that's when you began to walk calmly, always keeping your smile and elegance, your head held high as you were the target of the party's prying eyes. Your father was already waiting for you at the entrance to the cathedral, ready to take you down the aisle.

On the way to the altar, you didn't know if it was harder to walk in a dress that size or if the weight of your heart was more significant than that. When the trumpets stopped, all you could hear was the faint applause, the low murmurs here and there, which were so low that you couldn't identify what they were about.

The cathedral was packed, so many people there and you didn't even know half of them, but if they were there, they were certainly important people.

In the distance you could see your family, who smiled proudly at you, your mother with her eyes watering almost to the point of tears, and of course for her everything was perfect, and even if it wasn't, your family and his would act as if everything was a beautiful fairy tale.

Your walk down the aisle was soon marked by the orchestra, playing the standard wedding tune, the sounds echoing through the room as you this time took your focus off your family, and managed to spot your groom, waiting impatiently for you at the altar.

Hate him all you want, but he was breathtaking. Leon found himself wearing a black suit, his eupalette shining when the sun reflected off them, his hair slicked back in a style you hadn't seen him wear before. When you saw him return your gaze, you felt butterflies blooming in your stomach, your breath catching in your throat, causing you to hold the flowers in your hands tighter. He looked so beautiful, you could gasp just looking at him.

Step by step you finally reached the altar, making a small courtesy, and your father gave you a small blessing, and you promptly positioned yourself next to the prince. You were so close, so far apart, almost tying the knot, but still far from finding each other.

Once silence prevailed, the priest cleared his throat and looked at everyone, but specifically at the two of you.

"I appreciate everyone's presence for the celebration of this union. I request that you all take your places so that we can begin the ceremony." The priest said, looking at everyone seriously, but with a certain joy in his eyes.

"We are here today to initiate the union between two kingdoms, between two young lovers." The older man says, his attention focused on the pieces of paper on the lectern.

Who in the whole kingdom wouldn't be happy about such a union?

Everyone sits down and stares at the two of you, the youngest couple about to be married.

"We are here to witness, before God and the whole kingdom, the conjuncture and union between two royals, a prince and a princess, who will soon be our next majesties." Once again the priest spoke, this was his moment to speak, and he would make the importance of this union even clearer.

And then he looks up at the two of you, speaking seriously once again, " Matrimony is a sacred union, not to be broken by anything. The only plausible explanation for breaking that holy and sacred union, is death."

These words sent a chill down your spine, and you couldn't help but swallow when you found yourself facing this situation. Only death could separate the two of you.

What could be a love story for any couple in love, for you, God forgive you, seemed to be more of a curse than anything else.

With a glance from the priest, you saw a girl approaching, carrying the rings on a small cushion. They were made of pure metal, shining so brightly that they were striking even from a distance. Yours had his name engraved on it, along with a diamond at the top.

Leon's ring, on the other hand, also had your name on it, but no stones or other adornments. This was the time to exchange vows, the moment when the two of you would make promises and promises of love.

Another girl came and gently took the bouquet of flowers from your hand, so that you could turn around and face Leon, and the two of you were staring at each other. And you didn't see a hint of love in Leon's eyes, maybe you found some emotion, and it was probably discontent.

Leon then took your hands in his, his warm, larger hands wrapped around yours, and you felt a sudden shiver at the small act.

"Do you promise, Leon Scott Kennedy, to take," he then spoke your name, "as your lawfully wedded wife, to love her, comfort her, honor her and guard her, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as long as you both shall live?"

The silence was deafening, everything was quiet except for the sound of your heart beating in your ears, and at the slightest gesture, you squeezed his hand even harder.

At the same moment, you saw him press his lips together tightly, his emotions screaming inside him, the pain between having to seal an incorrigible path, put everything he once wanted to the test, override the desire to follow his heart.

With a certain apprehension, he picked up the ring, removed your gloves, and then slid the ring onto your ring finger.

"Yes… I promise." He says, without any conviction, for the first time you saw his gaze empty, but at the same time you could see the melancholy present there.

"Do you promise," the priest began, clearly speaking your full name before continuing, "to take Leon Scott Kennedy as your lawful wedded husband, to love him, comfort him, honor him and guard him, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as long as you both shall live?"

His hesitation to answer was an answer as clear as a thousand words.

But now his oath had been made, all that was left was for you.

With your mind working a thousand miles a minute, all you did was look deep into Leon's eyes, as if you were searching for something there, perhaps something to calm your nerves. But he was looking for the same thing in you, so you were both looking for solace, when you wouldn't have any.

When you saw the people looking at you with a certain astonishment, seeing that you were slow to respond, you also reached for the wedding ring that sealed the marriage, taking Leon's hand in yours as you placed the jewel on his finger.

"Yes, I promise." You said in a whisper, just giving the priest and Leon a chance to hear.

You could already hear some murmurs forming in the cathedral, but you couldn't make out what they were about. A request for silence from the priest was enough to stop all sound, and silence took over once again.

A sound of the priest cleaning his throat, was enough for you to come back to reality and stop staring at Leon, paying attention to what the priest had to say.

"In the sight of God and of people, I now pronounce you husband and wife. May this unification be full of fruits and joys, may it bring to our country what we need. And may you both be happy and blessed by God." For the first time you see the priest give the two of you a slight smile and then mutter:

"You must seal the union with a kiss." The phrase gave you butterflies in your stomach, and it didn't take more than a few seconds for Leon to bring his face close to yours.

At that moment, all you could feel was the blush rising to your cheeks, and everything around it disappeared once he locked his lips onto yours, gently placing a hand on your cheek to hold you in place.

You closed your eyes and let yourself be carried away by the sensation, your lips on his as you moved in sync, in a gentle and sweet way.

If everything was as sweet as this moment was being, then you would feel complete. But life is not a bed of roses.

Once you parted, you leaned your foreheads together, and listened to the various cheers and whistles you saw from everyone watching.

"I promise you'll be happy." Leon whispered to you, and you didn't know if it was worse that he was lying in front of God, or that you believed it so easily.

"I hope so." You reply with a weak smile, looking at him deeply.

When the two of you turned your faces away a little, you were faced with a crowd of emotional people looking at you. Some smiled, some cried, but everyone seemed to be happy for the two of you.

You knew it was far from over, you still had the reception, the ball, and the tedious conversations that would go on for endless minutes.

But since all these real commitments would be over before nightfall, you would soon be going on honeymoon with Leon.

A thought that would almost certainly be a dream for couples in love. But you didn't know whether to be apprehensive or disappointed, perhaps even intrigued. You'd be lying if you said that the idea of sleeping with him didn't make your knees weak.

In any case, when the two of you went on your honeymoon, you would indeed play your part as his wife. Something about that was strangely excoriating.

And when that happened, you were his, officially his.

You were his.

Oh, you were his.

Taglist: @gollumsmygel, @quemmysworld, @loveoverdosing, @delulusimps, @d3jecteddoll, @kennedyleyy, @acriixys, @deredvv, @luminehallowss

[twijaxx]

gods chosen emperor loneliness

wc: 2,5K

Ness pov:

“Don’t follow me anymore Ness. Find a new king.” The words said by a blonde haired striker echoed thru my head, i could hear the ringing in my ears and feel tears in my eyes.

“Wait! Kaiser, please listen to me!!! I'm sorry for what I did.” He wasn't listening... I realized that I can't make Kaiser change his mind, I won't be able to convince him to come back and say that he’s sorry for all he has done to me, for how he used me.

My life doesn't make sense now.

There’s no point in living if there’s no one to follow. What can I even do now? No one besides Kaiser really appreciated me in the team. I’m… nothing without him…

After the match ended I quickly went to the bathroom, locked the middle stall and turned on hot water. I didn't care about anything at this point, I was so fed up with everything but mostly.. with how Kaiser treats me. If i don't help him he yells at me, if i do anything wrong he hits me, when he does something wrong he takes out his frustration on me. I took the razor blade out of my pocket, I kept it with me all the time in case Kaiser wanted to punish me for a bad play. And honestly, I don’t blame him. It felt good when he was doing it, at least that's what I wanted to believe in.

My hands were shaking and the hot water was burning my skin. I slowly put the razor blade next to my veins and made one smooth move with my hand.

“Verdammt ugh- it hurts”

The blood was dripping down my wrist, staining everything red, I could feel my vision going blurry and my heart racing faster. I collapsed against the wall

“What did I do?? scheiße.. there’s blood everywhere”

At this point I knew it was my end, even if someone would come and help me, I was already halfway gone. My eyelids started to get heavier with every blink, I reached out and unlocked the stall hoping that maybe someone would find me. I tried to say something but as I opened my mouth nothing came out. It was too late I never thought Ness the magician would die this way, I always imagined I would grow up for something better, for someone better... The water was getting even hotter than before.. Or was it just me who was getting colder. I knew that my parents woudnt be proud of me if they saw me rn.

With my last bit of strength i muttered

“Ich liebe dich, Kaiser "

Kaiser pov:

 I wanted to cool off after the match, especially after what happened. I said I don’t need Ness, I don’t need another servant, I can be a star on the field regardless of who assists me. While I was walking to the bathroom I could feel that something was off. I put my hand on the handle, a shiver went down my body.

“Man what is wrong with me today, the match didn’t tire me out that much”

I thought as I entered the bathroom. I stepped in, I could hear water running in one of the stalls I undressed and went to take a shower. I was about to turn on the water, but the sound of running water in the other stall kept annoying me.

“Close the water you Dummkopf.”

It didn’t stop. I walked out of my stall and went to the other one, it was slightly open. I could see something red on the floor. I grabbed the handle and opened the door. The first thing I saw was a cold, lifeless body leaning against the wall. At first I didn't realize who it was but as I stared more and more I realized..

„Ness?!!” I yelled, but there was no answer, obviously…

„What did u do!! ANSWER ME…NESS..!”

I could feel tears rapidly flowing down my face.I hugged the cold lifeless body. I knew he was sensitive but I didn’t think he would go this far. I shouldn’t have said that in the match. Why was I so stupid… I could’ve prevented all of this from happening… I guess words do hurt more than actions sometimes. My eyes spotted sometimes shiny laying on the floor, it’s a razor blade I used to punish Ness with, I picked it up and squeezed it in my hand, blood was dripping as my grip tightened. I should probably get out of here, soon people will start to come here after the match too, I don't want anyone to see me in that state. I kissed his cold purple lips for one last time and left hoping that no one saw me.

Isagi pov:

The match was really eventful, Kaiser abandoned the one person who was always loyal to him, that will probably lead to his downfall. I talked with the others first but then decided it’d probably be best for us to go shower, since hygiene is important. We were chatting and walking to the bathroom slowly. We entered the room and all of us could hear the water running, it’s probably Ness or Kaiser i thought since they left after the match ended quickly. I undressed and went to take a quick shower

“What the fuck!!!”

i could hear Hiori yell

Isagi:“What happened man?? Is everything alright?”

I said while peaking my head out of the stall, I saw Hiori stand in horror as he was staring at something in the stall. He looked like he just saw a ghost. I came out of the stall and walked up to Hiori. If I knew what I would see next I would just stay in my goddamn stall.

It was Ness' dead body…

“Oh my fucking god”

The moment i saw it i became nauseous… I wanted to puke, blood was everywhere his body almost as pale as those white tiles behind him

“o fuck o fuck!! Hiori what do we do, Shit there is blood everywhere! He is so fucking pale!!”

“SOMEONE GO GET MR NOA NOW!!”...

It's been a week since it all happened, police came to the blue lock facility, they wanted to shut it down but Ego installed cameras even in the bathroom and they caught Ness killing himself.. It was also revealed that Kaiser was the first who found Ness but he didn't tell anyone They asked us different questions about Ness, did we know him before blue lock, how he was as a person, do we know why he would do it. Kaiser didn't say a word even though he knew Ness the longest and the best. They even kissed on the field.. yuck…

They took him into a different room, when he was coming out his eyes were red and puffy. I didn't know a being as heartless and cold as Michael Kaiser could cry… As much as i hated him deep down i felt bad for him even though he probably doesnt fucking care.

After this whole incident the whole team was devastated, even when the training sessions returned after a quick break we still weren't feeling it. And Kaiser? I didn’t know if i should hate him even more or maybe feel bad for how he was feeling. The fact that he didn’t report Ness’ dead body immediately was just cruel, crazy, wasn’t Ness the most important person for him?? I couldn’t look at him the same way I used to.

Kaiser pov:

What happened never left my mind, even for a second, it was always in the back of my head. Since they found Ness’s body, my mind was foggy. Every morning I woke up, I still saw his pale face, I heard his voice.. And at the same time I had a feeling like I was the one that killed him, like I was a monster.

After the police visit everyone was looking at me differently, like I was responsible for what happened. Even Ego wasn’t trying to look at me normally, when he looked me directly in the eyes in the hallway, i wanted to scream, to explain myself, but was there really a point??

I wanted to stop playing soccer. What’s the point of being a king if I lost my only loyal knight?

Week after

I couldn’t sleep, closed in my room. I was staring at my ceiling still hearing words I said to ness

“go find a new king”

I said them so.. carelessly. I was trying to come back to normal, but nothing was like before. During practice everyone was avoiding me like I didn’t exist.

One evening I couldn't stand it anymore, so I entered one of the training fields. I squeezed my hands and screamed as loud as I could until I felt my throat tighten. I just couldn’t understand how it all happened so quickly. I lost someone so precious to me, someone that I could actually trust after my mom left me and my dad was beating the shit out of me, but it was too late now. Suddenly I could hear footsteps.

I turned around and saw Isagi looking at me with disgust written on his face.

”You think that scream will change something Kaiser?”- he said in a cold tone, that sent a shiver down my spine

“He won't come back. And what happened is only your fault”

I couldn’t say anything back I just watched as Isagi was walking away leaving me alone with my thoughts

Isagi pov:

After Ness’s death I couldn’t stand Kaiser even more, Ness wasn’t my favorite person on the team but the way Kaiser treated him made my blood boil. He didn't deserve that, no one did! And yet Kaiser used him like he was some sort of toy for him?! like a maid he just could order around! And Ness just listened to him like a lost puppy that found a new person to follow around hoping that they will bring him home with them. Ness was a great player and Kaiser just ruined that.

Time skip to like a month later

Kaiser pov:

After Ness’s death I understood that something was missing in my life, someone was missing, someone who could trust me, who could support me, who would be ready to do anything so I could shine on the pitch like I used to. The loneliness after Ness' death was unbearable so I needed someone to fill it.

I picked Yuito (some random person that I made up in my mind for this story LMAO) He was young, talented, and he showed surprising loyalty to other players.

I saw potential in him, as well as the manipulability I needed to become a king again. Slowly I started to convince him to practice with me, and started to build the bond I had with Ness.

Yutio was like clay that I could shape however I wanted with my own hands. He quickly began to trust me and listened to my advice. He liked my attention, sought my approval and I felt like I was in control again. I thought I would never feel empty again, that this new pawn would help me forget. But one day he didn’t show up to the practice, I just ignored it thinking he might have a reason for that. But when he didn’t show up a couple of more times I knew something wasn’t alright,so I decided to talk to him about that.

”Yuito, why did you stopped training with me huh?”

He looked at me with a cold expression

“Kaiser.. i realized i don’t want to be like Ness”

I heard a contempt in his voice that I had never experienced before.

“What are you talking about?!”- i asked even tho i knew the answer

“Everyone knows what you did to Ness. You thought I didn’t realized how you manipulated me, how you wanted to control me?!"- he replied

“I’m not your pawn Kaiser no one is, you need to realize that”

Week later

I felt like I was losing control over my life. I became more and more lonely. Even football stopped giving me satisfaction the only thing that was precious to me, the only thing that helped me get out of that shithole, helped me escape my shitty dad and introduced me to the only person that i loved, Ness.. but i realized this too late, i wished i could kiss his lips one more time, see his warm smile again.

Every night I thought about Ness. He was loyal, he supported me, and loved me but I just wasted it. I imagine myself just barging into the bathroom stall stopping him from ending it , holding him in my arms, apologizing to him, begging for his forgiveness, even though I knew I would never receive it.

I heard the echo of his voice in my head

“wait kaiser, please listen i'm sorry for what i did!”

It will never return...

One day, while training alone, I fell to my knees in the middle of the pitch. Deep down I knew it was my arrogance and ego that had brought me to this point.

I lost.

I realized that I had never been a king - just a child who wasn’t loved properly and needed someone to control. I covered my face with my hands as I felt tears streaming down my cheeks.

I got up and went to the nearest bathroom, it was the one that Ness killed himself in, I walked in and automatically a shiver went down my spine. I looked at the stalls and sighed. I went to the middle one.. I took a razor blade out of my pocket, I kept it with me all the time because it reminded me of Ness.

I stretched out my hand and put the razor blade next to the veins. I was hesitating, but in the heat of the moment I made one smooth move and I cut my wrists. I felt relieved that I could finally be free and meet Ness in another after life, or maybe his life was better without me?.. Maybe in the another life Ness would actually be a scientist? I put him thru so much suffering, if i was him i would left me long time ago.

My body was getting colder as I slowly bleed out to death. Deep down, from the moment i was born, i knew that i will die a miserable way, God’s chosen emperor they said?? what a bullshit. 

With my last strength i said

"Ich liebe dich Ness…”

[ilylovelyz]

I just need a very comfort sakusa story with a s/o struggling with s/h and su1c1d4l toughts and social anxiety

⍣ ೋ bittersweet symphony

˚ · . sakusa x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ depression, self harm, negative body image, social / general anxiety, angst, suicidal thoughts, sakusa is awkward, not dumb, bathing, angst with a happy ending

'cause it's a bittersweet symphony, thats life.

you hear the soft pattering of footsteps approaching. judging by the softness, you assume he's checking on you again.

sakusa had just returned from a long day of practice, one that was filled with thoughts about your concern and wellbeing. despite being sweaty and feeling immensely dirty, hungry, and almost exhausted, his first priority is to come to you.

he's careful not to startle you, making sure his footsteps aren't too loud or noisy.

despite hiding your face away from him, away from the world, you can still feel him kneel down to the floor next to you, his body weight resting on the front of his feet.

"hey," he softly says, his hand coming up to lay a comforting hand on top of your blanket clad back.

your back muscles instantly relax at his touch, the heaviness of his hand against your skin is almost oddly comforting to you.

he's almost sighing in relief when you don't fight him like you did this morning when the same hand is slowly pulling off the comforter off your body, revealing the distressed state that is you.

you're laying face down against the floor of the living room, it's a strange area you've chosen as your safe place, but he doesn't really seem to question it either. not that he wants to question you about it either, especially since you're in such a soft mental state at the moment.

"hey, how are you feeling..?" he asks again, his tone low and gentle. his hand comes up to pat the back of your head, his fingers intertwining with your tangled locks, twirling them around when he's noticed the built up oil.

you only hum a short response to him, too tired to say an actual word.

he sighs softly, his eyelids low as he wonders how to get you off the spot that is the dirty floor. you've been in a depressive state for awhile now, and while you've had your fair amounts of highs and lows, this is definitely the worst you've had in awhile.

he feels almost guilty and helpless as he wonders how to make you feel better. he thinks back to the night when you were having a mental breakdown because you thought you weren't enough, wondering if you should just end it all so that way everyone doesn't have to "deal" with you.

but sakusa can beg to differ.

sakusa understands. he's not an idiot, he's not one of those people who are on some stupid high horse and view those who simply have emotions as wimps. no, he's more than understanding.

while he's never had it as bad as you have it, but he can say that he's felt what you've been feeling before, and he knows that it's not the best feeling either.

and he knows these feelings of yours won't just disappear overnight, it takes time to heal.

and luckily for you, sakusa is a patient man. he won't stomp his feet with frustration when you turn down his offer of going on a walk with him, too embarrassed and scared of the thought of being seen by numerous people in your current state, nor will he scold you for not eating the food he made you because you just don't feel like eating.

no, he'll happily lift you up and carry you while he walks if he has to. he'll encourage you to eat, and small portion by portion, he'll make sure by the end of the day, your stomach is at least getting the nutrients and energy it needs.

"y/n," he calls out once more, a light bulb going off in his head as he gets an idea. he gets up and changes his position, sitting in front of you. he leans down ever so slightly, his hands gently encouraging you to look at him.

he's lightly smiling when you do, a soft glint in his eyes as he's proud of the little step you just took. to some, it's almost childish, to him, it's a blessing that you're wanting to lift your head up and look at him after being almost glued to the floor for the past two days.

the lover inside of him has him leaning down a little more to place a soft kiss onto your forehead, his hands still holding your jaw with the lightest pressure ever. "wanna take a bath with me? i bet it'll make you feel better. maybe make you feel more refreshed." he asks, removing one of his hands from your jaw so he can hold your hand.

when you softly shake your head positively at his request, he's shaking his head too, mumbling a little "yeah? yeah," as he wraps his arms around your waist, picking you up as if you were his child and carrying you to the bathroom.

he removes your clothes carefully, treating you as if you were fine china. the water is warm, set to your favorite temperature. he'll lead you into the bath, his hand guiding you into it so that way you don't slip.

"does it feel better?" he'll ask while washing your hair, his hands massaging the base of your scalp with a pressure that as you relaxing into him. he's almost prideful when you hum pleasingly at his touch, finding comfort that his attempts don't go unnoticed.

then it comes to wash your body. he starts with your neck, the back of your ears, and shoulders. it almost tickles you, the way his fingers are expertly touching you in your most sensitive spots and pressure points. you try to shy away from his touch, a little self conscious in your body and unshaved skin, but he doesn't allow you to.

"you're so pretty," he whispers against your nape, his hands pausing against your skin to squeeze at your flesh.

you're then stilling again him when he starts to scrub against your arms, cheeks heating up with self-loathing and shame when you're reminded of the clear old and fresh scars on your wrists that lead up to almost your elbow.

you thought he would maybe scold you for it, or maybe look at you with disgust, scared of what you thought was ugly and mortifying.

you almost melted when he just continued to scrub around your scars, the pressure of the scrubbing lightening around that specific area as to not irritate some of the more fresher ones. "this doesn't hurt right? not too rough?" he asks casually, not seeming to even mind the cuts.

it almost brings you to tears, the way he's just so gentle and accepting to you.

towards the end of the bath, he'll quickly wrap a towel around you first, not wanting you to get cold. as his hands wrap the towel around your frame, his hands close it in over your chest, his eyes soft and tender. you fight the urge to cry when he's then pulling you in for a kiss, his hold on you never ending and warm.

he'll hold you there for awhile, never minding that he doesn't have his own towel, or that he's almost on the verge of shivering because he's cold.

sakusa will happily lift you up into his arms once more, not minding the wet puddles that follow after his footsteps. he'll happily tuck you into the warm covers that is the bed he used to share with you.

he'll happily play with your now cleaned hair, knowing that you like it when he plays with your hair until you fall asleep. it takes awhile until you do, he'll ignore the cramp in his fingers after playing with your hair for almost an hour until you finally lull asleep, but sakusa is a patient man.

afterall, healing is a long process, and the two of you have all the time in the world to heal and rest.

please leave a like and repost with tags :)

[starqueensthings]

Surprise self-rec time! Pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow writers to spread the positivity and help celebrate already written fics 💞

First of all, when the heck did my anon function turn on 😆 I genuinely thought I’d had that shit turned off! Apparently not!

Second, I heckin love when these self rec chains go around. There is little more beautiful in this world than watching a creator gush about their work when given the platform to do so… something they’re so proud of… something that brought them so much joy, all they want to do is share it with the people they love.

In true Holly fashion, I am going to be long winded about this, so please accept a read more as to not clutter up your feed.

1. Colder Weather - A 3-part post-stasis/Pirate Kix x fem!reader ficlet that promises to punch you right in the heart. This is probably the most emotional thing I’ve ever written, and while I know it’s not for everyone… boy am I ever proud of it.

2. Dork Love - A 4-part Tech x GN!reader ficlet that was supposed to only be one, but pulled a Miley Cyrus and couldn’t be tamed. It’s a mostly lighthearted little story about hard work, altruism, navigating a sudden and unexpected crush, and how one’s perception is not always reality. Because the fandom is extremely protective about Tech and his characterization in fanon extensions of canon, I’m sure this won’t be for everyone either… but writing something that read ND!Tech x ND!Reader was important to me.

3. The Only Exception - A fem!OC x Captain Howzer Longfic. I started writing it what feels like a lifetime ago, and I swore to my distant ancestors that it would never see anyone’s eyes but my own… That plan changed when I met some very supportive, OC-loving friends that encouraged me to share it with the world, and I’ve since been slowly tweaking it chapter by chapter to ensure my passive verbs and run-on sentences are brought to a level that’s readable for others hahaha it’s a very slow work in progress, but it’s the most throughout, detailed work I’ve ever funnelled energy into, and I’ll forever cherish June and her experiences learning and growing. (Not a self insert, though I wish it was. June is more bad ass than I could ever hope to be, though she has no clue.)

**snippets below the cut**

1. Colder Weather - Part One

Those optimistic moments often saw you rambling, thoughts slipping easily from mind to mouth in a desperate attempt to keep him connected to you; resolute in keeping him both physically and mentally present; urgently trying to protect him from the monster on his shoulders long enough for him to realize that everything he could ever want was lying peacefully beside him. Periodically, if your chosen topic was one he found particularly amusing, his eyes would crinkle under the embrace of a smile, and — if the universe deemed you worthy that night — a hoarse chuckle would pour from his lips. Despite your continued pleas to the stars, it was a sound that graced your ears with a tragic infrequence, yet the way its radiance illuminated your soul had you shamelessly begging the universe that it continue to spill from his lips for all eternity.

But despite the prophetic bond that kept him returning to your side, only once had the bliss of your union softened his guard enough to let something… slip. Only once had he mentioned a brother: Jesse, a man spoken of thoughtlessly as Kix snickered his way through the recollection of a frantic speeder ride across the plains of Saleucami. But the music of his laughter utterly vanished upon voicing the name that he never meant to speak, the silence that filled its wake so polluted in unexpressed grief, that even the hushed sounds of your breath felt inappropriate, and despite having watched the light leave his eyes so often in the past, you’d never seen it replaced with a darkness as deep and as sorrowful as then.

“Tell me about him,” you probed instantly, hopeful that the delicate touch of your hand on his shoulder would be enough to ground him there in the bed with you; hopeful that the soft caress of your fingers would prevent him from conceding to his anguish, tossing the sheet aside and leaving you with nothing but the familiar sight of his retreating back and the bittersweet smell of him lingering on your pillow.

2. Dork Love - Part Four.

“An apology is not required,” Tech spoke instead. “It would appear that I jumped to an inaccurate conclusion upon arriving here to find you missing. It was a most uncharacteristic overreaction, and one from which I now-suffer a great compunction.”

“Compunction?” you repeated, brows furrowing at the implications of his confession as you reached to pull the coils from his shoulder. “Why?”

Tech hesitated for only a breath, watching your nimble fingers blanch under the weight of the wire as you took it from him. “Well… several years of advanced training and exposure therapy have rendered me effectively inured to a multitude of scenarios that others may deem distressing,” he divulged as something near concern wiped the smile from your lips. “Yet, I failed to maintain control of my emotions in the face of your disappearance. I became largely inexorable, making objectively impetuous and questionable decisions.”

“Tech,” you uttered in little more than a consoling whisper, his stomach lurching as your free hand collected his from somewhere near his hip, those slightly chilled fingers weaving their way in between his before the soft, consoling brush of your thumb nearly weakened his knees. “There is nothing to regret. Worrying about someone is nothing to be ashamed of, and arguably even less so if that person is someone you care greatly about. In fact, an initial surge of panic followed by attempts to verify their safety is likely the expected psychological response to such concerns. You walked into what looked like a very foreboding situation and had no data to disprove your suspected theory.”

“I suppose that is correct,” Tech shrugged, dropping his gaze to the toe of his oily boot, “Though it has been several years since I last studied the sympathetic subsection of the autonomic nervous system in response to traumatic stimuli.”

“Sounds like an interesting read,” you mumbled through a sarcastic smile that prompted the return of his gaze. “Tell me– if the same situation presented itself again, would you not react similarly? Would you not do everything within your power to make sure that someone was okay while everything around you was telling you they’re not?”

“Of course I would.”

“Then that’s that,” you answered simply. “There’s no reason to regret your actions, just like I don't suffer any contempt for getting myself stuck on Ryloth. Making the trip there was the best and potentially only solution based on the information available to me at the time. Things went awry… and that’s okay, because we should always do what our gut is telling us to do when it comes to things and people that we care greatly about.”

And there it was: that intemerate benevolence that he wholly adored about you, reemerging to knock him over the head with a validation that he’d never experienced before… and the subsequent moment, as his eyes locked on yours and his grip on your hand tightened, he felt truly seen as himself. Not Tech the highly-skilled soldier… not Tech the ingenious mechanic responsible for keeping the GAR’s most elite squad in the air… not Tech the pilot who loved his datapad above all else and never slept. You saw Tech… accepting and welcoming him as he is; validating his infrequent displays of vulnerability as if humanity was something he could and should experience first hand without fear of persecution or judgement.

“Oh, and don’t think I didn’t catch that,” you added, brow shifting into a devious arch as a playful smirk tugged at your lips.

“Catch what, exactly?”

“The oxymoron you dropped in there: ‘found you missing’. Someone can’t be found and missing, hun. But keep dropping them– I’ll catch ‘em every time.”

3. The Only Exception - Chapter Two.

‘He’s just a soldier,’ she reminded herself with a snort of self-directed derision, desperately trying to extract her password from the depths of her distracted brain.

And he was. There was nothing overtly different or unusual about CT–5863 in relation to the hundred-or-so other clones that had passed in and out of her care since the war began. Quite frankly, there couldn’t be anything different about him, it was genetically impossible. So why had one look from this set of honeyed eyes seen her stomach careening into the next dimension and her nerves prickling as if every shift of his gaze left a trail atop her skin?

Thrice she tried and failed to enter her secure information into that software, yet its repeated beeps toward the inevitable system lock-out fell on entirely deaf ears, and it wasn’t until the screen strobed that she’d near-reached the maximum login attempts did some glimmer of awareness surge back to her.

“I’m Dr. Kiore,” June told him, attempting to banish that myriad of improper thoughts by corralling every cooperating neuron into entering her password, and the breath she’d unintentionally held in her lungs was granted their escape atop a sigh of relief as that familiar landing screen emerged in front of her. “What’s your name?”

“CT–58—”

“No, Captain, your name.”

“My name?” A puzzled pause preceded his answer, that brief second of hesitation having failed to lessen any of the obvious confusion behind those two words, and the notion that she may have to formally explain such a simple concept was the first to pull a smile to June’s lips.

But, “Howzer.” He recovered quickly, offering his name in the same tone he’d used upon hearing her tap on the door, and the small creases now wreathing those twinkling eyes as they narrowed in something close to suspicion entirely laid bare his continued bewilderment at her behaviour.

“Howzer,” she repeated, offering him a casual smile as she swiped her finger across the monitor and entered the information next to his designation number. “It’s nice to meet you.”

A moment’s innocent silence fell between them as she typed, masterfully toggling between different pages of his medical chart and familiarizing herself with the details of his treatment history. For an active soldier, particularly one that appeared as if he’d spent several respite-free rotations laying in the foreign dirt of a distant planet, his chart was remarkably vacant, the only few noted injuries being quickly treated in the field and recorded somewhat haphazardly by the trio of different medics who had seen him.

“I– I think that might be the first time a civilian’s asked me that,” he contemplated under his breath, eyes unfocussing as he rubbed that dirty palm across the stubble on his chin

“Yeah, well… they were supposed to ask downstairs,” June scoffed, the grumble swaddling her tone readily exposing the disdain for the repeated shortcomings of her colleagues. “I’ve asked them four billion times to try and remember, but of course no one listens to the youngest.”

While his lungs expanded to utter what was undoubtedly going to be another humorous quip, the sentiment was stolen off his tongue by a sudden and salient cringe of discomfort. In that otherwise banal motion of sitting up straight, hand reaching upward to thoughtlessly push those dark waves further back from his forehead, a spasm of pain quickly froze his actions, that sharp jaw quickly clenching behind olive cheeks as a muted grunt rumbled in his chest.

[xjulixred45x]

Giyuu Tomioka x Hunter(Toh)! Reader: Golden heart

Request of @lolojkpl

Giyuu was not a people person, under any context. It literally took Kocho to annoy him beyond the limit for him to give a contribution either to their conversations or even in meetings with the other pillars. Socializing just wasn't his strong suit.

Especially not with the other Pillars, with few exceptions.

Leaving Kocho aside, some time ago there was a new addition to the pillars by Master Ubuyashiki, he came from a fairly important clan and had finally been chosen for the position of Pillar after the death of Rengoku. Reader.

Normally, Giyuu would have ignored reader and made it to the meetings with the pillars, but he had the bad (or good, depending on how you look at it) luck that not only was the reader someone sociable, but he quickly became friends with Kocho. which causes them to see each other even more often than normal.

Even if so, under normal circumstances, the reader seemed to be the kind of person Giyuu wouldn't want around. Arrogant, proud, conceited, very skilled, yes, but he had an unpleasant attitude. At least that's what it seemed like at first. Shinobu used to say it quite often, that he wasn't as bad a guy as he seemed, that it was all an act.

Although Giyuu didn't believe her until certain events that made him see it differently. When they were sent on a mission together.

Now, to be honest, Giyuu even tried to go to the boss to change partners, not believing he could handle the reader attitude on his own. But Oyakata-sama, as always, was able to dissuade him and reassure him of his doubts, telling him what he already knew.

- “I think you two have a lot more in common than you think. Give him a chance to show his value. You won't regret it”

And so, Giyuu and reader were sent on the mission. And it was weird at first. Tomioka expected Reader to talk non-stop, to make jokes, to annoy him like Shinobu, however, he remained still and silent above all. As if he was intimidated… by Tomioka. He honestly didn't understand it.

It wasn't until they reached an intersection to rest and eat that Tomioka asked the reader if he wanted something that he almost jumped in surprise. And what he said left Giyuu even more confused.

-“sorry, I just-um, you were so quiet the whole ride that I thought you were mad at me or something, are we okay then? good! Good…"-

Okay, that's new.

Giyuu was used to this confident and determined pillar, but out of nowhere he had changed into what he could assume was the most awkward adult he had ever seen. Although at the same time, he could feel that it was a more genuine side of him, saying what he really thought and felt, instead of the arrogant mask, it was a nice change.

This made Tomioka more open to talking (to the reader's surprise) and that's how he found out some things, like the breathing style he used (lighting), who his teacher was, his (rather unhealthy) training routine, He even managed to laugh when telling an anecdote (the truth was quite worrying) about how his father made him sleep outside for not having trained enough! But it was okay because he discovered his love for wolves thanks to that.

The boy liked to talk, and that helped a lot because Giyuu spoke very little, so things balanced out pretty well. And it put a lot of things into perspective inside Tomioka's head, and at the same time, also generated some sympathy for his new partner, both before and after they finished the job.

You could see that the reader was someone very insecure, who like Tomioka, did not necessarily want to be Pilar. But worse, it was something imposed on him, by someone he loved no less. The confidence that Giyuu had seen before was nothing more than an act, a mask for the rest of the pillars, to protect themselves.

He didn't understand why Reader started acting more genuinely around him. Maybe he felt intimidated? scared? When they became friends, he asked the reader that, and his response was, to say the least, disturbing.

-“oh! that? Old habits from when I lived with my family, you reminded me a little of my father but you turned out to be very good to me! So, there was no need to pretend."

Tomioka and reader began to bond in ways that no one else understood, at least not the pillars. Of course not, they would never know what it felt like to not be worthy of your position, to not want that position, to just be filling it for someone else, something that Tomioka believed she would never share with anyone, was now what forged her bond with the reader.

Reader always believed that he only served what his family dictated, but Giyuu inspired him to do more, to decide on his own, to find his way, to choose. And he chose him.

In less time than he expected, Giyuu began to get used to this new lifestyle, this new person in his life, having fun when he said something ridiculous just to make him laugh, not knowing how to react when he brought him things like flowers. or smoked salmon, to want to see that smile on their face as often as possible...

Tomioka wanted to be able to protect the reader, to ensure that he did not suffer more than he already had, that he did not feel as unworthy or miserable as he once did.

And I could tell that reader was thinking the same thing. He could never understand how someone like Tomioka, one of the most honorable, golden-hearted, kind, gentle, and powerful men he had ever known, felt unworthy of his position. But he would make sure to push those thoughts away, to try to protect him from expectations, after all, they are a team.

They would care for each other, love each other, no one would ever hurt them again. They would make sure of that.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

[smudge-elly]

daryl Dixon - pregnancy

You and Daryl have been trying for a baby for what has felt like months even years. But that time of the month just kept coming. But that changed this month. You wake up happy as ever knowing your two weeks late for your period. Daryl’s arm drapes over your waist still, shaking it to try and wake him up. He opened his eyes “good morning beautiful” he said with a groggy voice “morning” you said with excitement in your voice “why so exited my love” Daryl said now sitting up “ ok ok….so I’m two weeks late for my period. Daryl looks at you with confusion “ is that a good or bad thing” he said confused as ever , you let out a small giggle “ it means I might be pregnant” his eyes lit up “really are u being serious” he says with a big smile plastered on his face “well I have to take a test and then we will see” you say smiling too “okay so do u have a test” he says eager to find out if ur pregnant or not “I’ll go look” u say getting out of the bed “ I’ll help” he says basically running to the bathroom ye both opened the doors of the press, after ten minutes of rummaging through boxes of pads, tampons, toilet paper, baby wipes and soap bars you eventually found two pregnancy tests. Daryl asked if you wanted him to leave to take them but you told him to stay, u let the pregnancy tests sit for five minutes u took one and Daryl took the other, 1-2-3 you flipped them over looking down u see positive and so does Daryl you look at each other with excitement when Daryl gives you all you could do is cry you couldn't have chosen a better boyfriend than Daryl he was so perfect and was gonna be the best dad. When he hears u are crying he tells you “im so proud of u my love” his voice cracking a bit a tear streaming down his face “ok we need to book an appointment with the doc” you say with excitement “I’ll do that” he says kissing your forehead.

that’s it hope you guys likes it, please tell me if u have any ideas

byeeee😘👋

[dubiousduskwight]

Day 2: Horizon

“If you don’t mind my saying so, good sir, I think it’s finally come to me where I recognized your name.”

Kensuke could feel the scowl coming on and, because of that, his face starting to flush, for he had no reason to scowl. His accommodations in the village were meager but they were more than respectable, and he had chosen the village rather than to shelter in the Kato estate knowing they would be less than what the family could offer him. With much of the estate at least partially the scene of a crime in his eyes, he had chosen to sleep in the village to avoid contaminating it any further with his presence. And the villagers had been more than happy to help, giving him clean straw laid out in an old tool shed that he was quite certain lacked any spiders. As he saw it, things were all very nice.

And the woman at the doorway, Otoko, also gave him no cause to scowl despite the possibility that she was a murderer, somehow contriving to drag the master and mistress of the Kato manor out of their homes in the dead of night to pin them under a boulder in the wilderness and die of exposure days later. She was cheerful and kind, pretty in the manner of a peasant who had little time for the finer things afforded the spouse of Doman samurai of old, and nobody in the village had a bad word to say about her. This made her very suspicious to Kensuke, but it didn’t make her unpleasant.

Quite apart from all of that, he already knew what she would say, and that, too, was no cause for his expression. He tried to keep it concealed in the relative dark near the small, hooded lantern he was using for light before bed. “You do? You flatter me by remembering. What makes you say that?” “Tobe Kensuke, you said. From the Tobe family, right?” She leaned forward in the doorway, clasping her hands to her chest in a delicate grip just where her neck and shoulders disappeared beneath her kimono. “Great Magistrate Tobe Sakai. Are you related, perhaps?” The scowl sank further onto his face, threatening to become angry, and Tobe had to duck his head further back into the shadows to avoid being misinterpreted. Here, too, he had every reason to delight. He was proud of Sakai, and proud of the family tradition. Growing up, he had heard some of the stories of Sakai’s clever investigations, and how well he had served Lord Kaien. Kensuke wanted nothing more than to have his face light up in joy and let all around him see the pride he felt in his chest at his relation. But the kami had their way at his birth, and his spirit was all twisted.

“His grandson, actually,” he said, waving his hand where it could be seen in the light as if this were something to be dismissed. “You’ve heard of him?”

Otoko’s head bobbed, her eyes wide with delight “The master of the house read an old story to me, once. It was a story about a murder with a great prayer bell, and the magistrate showed how it could be lifted by one man with a pulley and a trick.”

“Ah, I know that one, that was a very good one. It was sad that he couldn’t stop all of the culprit’s murders, but at least he caught the man out in the end. Sometimes that’s how justice is, you know.” So Otoko had been in contact with the late master Toshiyuki. Perhaps his late wife’s insistence they were having an affair was true. He thought to press her on this, but she seemed in good spirits, and such a change of subject would have been unseemly. “I would offer you a copy of another,” he went on, “But I am sad to say they’re gone. Lost in a fire.”

She waved her hand as if chasing away the offer. “It’s all right, it’s quite all right. Please, don’t trouble yourself. It’s nice to meet you as Tobe’s Sakai’s grandson all the same.” Silent for but a moment, she soon twisted her fingers together in thought. “Did he ever handle cases involving magic?” “Often,” Kensuke replied, settling back into his straw. The first wave of happiness had passed, and his face had settled into something neutral and flat, his mouth a thin line. “He didn’t have any talent for magic himself, but an onmyoji would come with him to see if magic had been done.” “What about here, though, like at the manor? When there’s a witch involved?”

Closing his eyes, Kensuke’s mouth tipped into a slight smile. “Do you think there really is a witch?” “That’s what everyone says, anyway.” “Mm. Well, not a witch, but there were impossible cases where no magic seemed to be involved, and people said it was a kami or worse. They always turned out to be tricks, like that prayer bell. There’s magic, and there’s tricks, but he never saw divine acts like what you’re thinking.”

“Oh...so nothing like at the manor, then,” said Otoko, who lowered her head. “It seems like that will be difficult.” “No, it’s exactly like at the manor. It’s more tricks, you see.” “But if there is a witch - “ Kensuke sat straight and upright in his straw bed, illuminating his face well enough that Otoko could see. He had a wide and open smile and his eyes were a little too wide in apparent affability. “’That’s what everyone says’, I know. And it’s not a witch. That’s not what they say. It’s the Witch. Right? Do you believe that?” Otoko hesitated. There was something about his tone of voice that didn’t match his face. She bowed her head quickly, wringing her hands together near her waist. “I’m sorry, I meant no offense.” “Why do they want to believe that, hm? If not you, then all the other villagers I’ve spoken to this day. ‘The Witch of Doma cursed the Kato family’.” As he spoke, his voice rose, and the apparent joy in his voice increased. He had to fight to stop himself from shouting. “She wasn’t even a magician, you know that? No spells, no powers. Just a cruel woman who spent a year tearing the kingdom apart, and she’s dead. Lord Hien affirmed that himself. Surely they don’t miss her so much that they’d wish her ghost back just for the sake of hurting the Kato family. Surely you don’t. Do you?” Otoko flinched backwards at the accusation, and the cheerfulness was gone from her eyes at once. Kensuke watched them for a moment; if they were filled with malice, or resentment, perhaps he would have to look into her further. Telling expressions weren’t evidence enough for him, but they at least gave avenues of inquiry.

All he received was a downcast head, and, from what he could see, the beginnings of tears. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I should go check to see if anything else is needed.” She gave Kensuke a quick bow, and pulled away from the tool shed.

With a broad grin, Kensuke cursed to himself and fell back into the straw. That would cause problems later, he was sure. Try as he might to work around it, he feared the villagers couldn’t or wouldn’t see past the specter of the Witch.

[corvusspecialartist]

The Raven's Eye

Yandere Corvus Corax x Remeberancer Reader

Chapters 1

You were a proud remembrancer, you took so much pride within your craft. Although you were chosen from the best, you always had a small bit of bad habit. You sat and recalled a memory from your last boss that you had.

"What is wrong with YOU? You painted that?!" The primarch stood tall over you, anger radiated... from him like the rays from your home planet's sun. His body language was angry, like a cat pacing and ready to pounce. At that moment, you had painted Lion El Johnson in a normal painting showing the fight with Leman Russ. Remembrancers were supposed to keep their opinions about their primarchs to themselves. After all, Konrad's remembrancer's position is always still open.

The painting was an abstract piece, you had tried something different on the behest of another remembrancer. You turned to the Lord of the First and nodded with a grin. 'Why of course my lord I just painted what was on my mind" It was the closest you have come to death as a fast moved out faster than you can see and grabbed you by the neck. Struggling and gasping for breath.. "You dare put that in my presence... you can always just work for another" He applied a bit of pressure. Your mind was struggling and the mentioning of working for the dreaded Haunter made your heart beat faster and faster.. You tried to give gasps for air and made gasping noises... Until you were dropped and coughed. He bent beside you and chuckled. "If you wanted to change primarchs then why didn't you just ask" He gave a crooked smile while turning away. "Pack your bags... I am sick of your parasitic presence on my ship. Thank your stars that you are at least useful."

You shuddered at the memory. After all, reassignment was the hardest bit, after all no one really knows where they would go to next. You had packed up your artists bits and the other remembrancers came by and said their "goodbyes". You had at least the sense to know that they were eyeing your open rank. Still you let up a silent prayer despite the illegality of it. You prayed that you weren't going to the Eighth. Now you were in a modest, yet discreet craft meant for transporting Adminstraum members. You sat in the bunk and continued to paint. You weren't going to give up the new thing. Adjusting the easel, a self portrait often passed the time. It was an abstract thing with heavy themes of darkness, after all. You had always been afraid of things that went bump in the night. Still you were always an optimistic person and maybe a new scenery. You put down your tool and decided to rest, if you were going to die well at least you would go out with dignity.

In your dream, you dreamed of your home and parents.. and our home.. You savored those memories.. You talked to others. Transitioning into a ballroom party that your father had to celebrate planets joining with the Imperium, something was odd. A tall pale man came by pushing through the crowed. He was rather tall for a human and dressed in a black and purple. He wore a golden carrion bird mask. As he moved, the gentle music changed falling silent.

He approached you and got down on one knee and kiss your hand. "Would you care for a dance, Your Highness". It was a polite formality, but something felt wrong.. your heart beat faster.. the man had no eyes to look when looking through his mask. "No thank you, sir." You gave an abashed grin and backed away slowly.

The Man's face and form started to change reflecting the bird mask. You started to run in as the bird-man thing starting to fly while crowing... making occasional dive bombs . You felt his claws miss your back. You dare not look at the man.. the hall seemed to stretch out for longer and longer... You knew that you couldn't keep this up... you saw the hope of your salvation... an alley.. You immediately dived and ducked as the bird man passed by you. You steeled your nerves trying to keep your heart rate down so that IT would not be alerted to your location.

You covered your mouth as you heard a large thump on the distance far away... you gave a whimper as your heart was pounding. You saw him pass by. He had raptors feet with thick strong legs. His wings were something... there was some feathers falling out.. He had long black hair. You saw the man pass hearing his footsteps pass away.. You let out a sign of relief and turned next to see a bird. It was all black with a large beat and feathers that made it have a little "beard". It hopped closer and closer to making clicking noises and bopping its head. You decided to pet the raven holding it close taking deep breaths.. The man was gone. Your thoughts were running elsewhere where you didn't notice the bird changing... It grew taller and when you noticed you were staring into the eyes on a man with a pale face with long dark hair. He was holding you carefully in a bridal style His eyes were completely soulless... He gave a grin and asked the question again. 'You care for a dance your highness?" You let out a scream and rolled over hitting the ground with a loud thud, You got up and tried to run away only to be blocked by a wall of cawing black with viscous beaks.. You turned and ran before bumping into the man. He bent down getting closer and closer as you yelled before.

You woke up.

You took a breath and looked around you... you even pinched your self. You were in reality... and alive. Your sighed and grabbed your sketchbook immediately... Often you drew your dreams, and this was no exception. A feeling of doom that you felt during the dream lifted as you sketch your stalker in the dreams. When you had finished... the man looked like the Haunter but different, a tad bit softer perhaps. Still that nagging feeling still was there, you were always going to be watching you knew this, but it was like someone was just there following you and all of your intimate moments.

Still as you were getting ready, your stomach lurched.. it was a sign that was universally recognized as entering real space. A private vox system had told you that the craft had been hours in reaching the destination. Your thoughts often ranged from "I am going to die to Might as well make the best out of bad situation" After all, if you were going to die then you were at least going to look your best. You went and got out your nicest gown and put on the best makeup.

Leaving the cabin, you went to the captain's quarters approaching the door. You gave a deep sigh and knocked on the door. The captain was a short porty woman. She gave a grin and turned her face towards you. "So Remeberancer Anon! You are awake, and finally come" She turned her back to you and sighed. "We are nearly there now..." You were sweating bullet and thoughts "When is she going to tell me where we are?" The captain as if sensing your ire or distress turned and said. "We are within the docking process for the moon Deliverance."

Deliverance.... not Nostromo

You could have almost kissed the captain. the day was looking up. You saw new life... you were not going to be suffering a long and gruesome execution. Yet in the coming years and later... you would come to realize.

"Maybe you should have gone to Nostromo."

After the meeting with the captain, and with the feeling of new life on your mind. Immediately you went back to your quarters and packed up your belongings. Even though the serfs would handle most of the movement of the gear, you did not really like people messing with your art supplies. You sighed...recalling the brief close up of the moon. The dark side was full of light despite the empty surface, mining most likely. However, other side of the moon, that was intriguing. There stood a tall black tower, there were also other buildings around it. You sat down on the bed and decided to give a quick sketch of the tower. After all, it was your first things you have seen on the moon. After some time, you felt the ship lurch forward suddenly. Getting up, you went back to accompany the captain. Looking out you noticed that you were underground with lumens that flickered occasionally. The captain approached you giving a gentle bow. "Sorry, Remembrancer but this is standard protocol, we have to get checked in." You gave a pacifying nod trying to not to let the terror show in your face. At least back with the other boss, you could at least make out what was some resemblance of "up" but here... one wrong move, could lead to your doom. You felt your heart pounding, so you decided to thumb through your sketches in order to pass the time while the captain rushed around trying to get the clearance codes and accesses. Despite having prior knowledge of your arrival, there was always some menial that HAD to be on some power trip.. continuing to thumb through the sketches calming down. That was until you reached called Haunter (?). The one drawn after that horrible nightmare... you looked at it with clearer detail. You felt your heart start to race again... no this cannot be right.. you took deep breaths. What was your subconscious trying to tell you about this man? Putting those thoughts on the back burner and noticing the captain cursing out someone on a vox com link. Soon you would get out of this underground hell...the captain came over to you and gave a grin showing slightly yellowed teeth. "Good news Remembrancer! We have been expedited and soon we will reach the RavenSpire Quickly!" You raised an eyebrow... "The RavenSpire?" The captain nodded calling over a servitor that spoke in a robotic voice.

The servitor showed a holo-vid of the primarch. You stifled a gasp and shook your head.. no.. it couldn't be. The captain waved its hand in front of the Servitor in order to shut it off. AS she did so the ship surged forward, and landed with a flourish. The captain gave a chuckle. "That's our cue rememberancer." You gave a jaded nod.. while looking at your sketchbook at the portrait of Haunter (?). Erasing the title you wrote with a shaky hand, yet in pretty calligraphy. 'Corvus Corax' Getting up and walking with the captain and approaching the shuttle door.. the door opened with quiet ease and inward marched two Space Marines... They dawned black armor and on their right showed their Legion insignia... it was a white bird that was painted on them. The marines matched in and said with a accented High Gothic "The delays had been for too long. Lord Corax demands to see them" the Marine pointed a power glove towards you. "Come with us." "Do not worry" The other said, "Your luggage will be transported to your quarters during your meeting with Lord Corax" You held your sketchbook close to your chest and gave a long lingering glance to the captain.

You followed the Marines.. you were curious about everything and taking in the surroundings. The Ravenspire...the Marines marched through a large feasting hall decorated with trophies and skulls. There were scattered groups of Marines taking breakfast. You made a mental note and decided to sketch that part of the Raven Spire. You were secretly relieved that you had decided to dress very well. After all, first impressions of primarchs are make or break. Mostly break. Though, you wondered... why Corax and not the others? Still, at least it wasn't the Phoenician. In the start of your career, you remember getting a scathing review about your art that bordered on unnecessary. You were fuming, but your training had made you keep it to yourself. You shook out the memory as the Marines marched you to a large elevator. they stepped in first and indicated you follow. You stepped in, as one of the marines pressed a button and spoke clearance words. The elevator started to move upwards with smoothness. Eventually, the elevator paused after a long awkward silence. The Marine gave a gesture. 'Welcome to the Eirye.' They stepped out and you followed. You blinked trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness... You clutched the sketchbook close to your chest saying an olden chant that you said in your home language... to steel your heart. You certainly didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of the primarch. Stepping forward, you nearly bumped into a giant man. So this was him. He was much larger than the marines that accompanied you. His face was framed with long sable hair that fell to his shoulders,his face looked chiseled from marble set with obsidian eyes for frames. Yet on closer inspection, there was no whites in his eyes. His face was sharp and wired with a small line, indicating a frown. He was dressed in a modest black tunic with embroidered white edges. Tall and wiry which was an oddity unlike, like most primarchs, you knew that he had power behind every movement. Around his neck, was a simple cord with a skull? It was birdlike, and yellowed with age. You took a small step back, as the giant man bent down at the waist. "So you are Rememberancer Y/N correct?" His face didn't change. You nodded and gave a shaky grin. "Yes My lord." He gave a approving nod and turned and walked into his studio. Taking this a cue, you followed him into a study. It was huge, your eyes could barely take in everything. It was a curricular room in thick stone. Around the edges of the room were many book shelves that were stuffed with parchment. Interspersed between each book shelf was a large door, you were curious about where each door went.

Corax walked to a desk where stacks of paper work were placed haphazardly. He sat down and indicted a spot in front of him. "Pardon the mess." He was already behind schedule, and unfortunately this meeting would have to be short. He saw the Remembrancer and bent down at the waist to inspect them better. To be honest, he was relieved that he was able to acquire this precious Remembrancer. He shook his head at that. No, they were just the standard. He internally had went through their artwork, and found something that was refreshing truly compared to the others. Honesty. He saw their recent work, that had gotten them removed from the Lion's presence. Corax, personally, had always respected the Lion. He always had been loyal to their father, but still he was rather touchy on his ego. A lot of his brothers were including himself... he admitted with a sigh. He turned back to the Remembrancer. They were sweating buckets, he honestly wanted to try to calm them down and assure them that they would be alright, and that they were in no danger. However, a different part of his brain whispered. "They're here for mocking a primarch, plus you can use this to your advantage to keep her in line..." He dismissed that thought with a careless flick of his hand. He turned back to the Remembrancer "I am keen that you bought your sketchbook with you. Do you mind handing it over?"

You heard the hidden undertone. You sheepishly handed over the sketchbook over with a nervous hand. You gave a grin trying to ease your racing mind, watching as Lord Corax flipped through the book methodically, yet he stopped on a page and his mostly neutral expression changed in a blink to a small frown. You started to feel a tad bit nervous...what if he didn't like any of it? You had gotten so far now, and he to denounce or even worse... send you to HIM. You gave a tiny shudder. Your training was going to waste here... you mentally chastised yourself. Why were you acting in this manner?! You were so out of it.. you didn't notice that the primarch had placed the sketchbook on the table. Corax gave you a gentle look. "Remembrancer Y/N?.. You are free to go. Commanders Andolus and Kuis will escort you to your quarters. " At those words, it seemed to break your spell. You grabbed your book and took a look around... maybe you would sketch this later. The primarch remained at the desk still working on paper, you knew that he was watching you more intently than you would have liked.. But it was no matter.. At least you live for another day.

Corax as soon as he heard the elevator leave his private chambers. He sighed taking a momentary pause. He called up the recent sketch of himself... it was oddly perfect. But why. But something really set him off... the original title of the piece. He was not and will never be like his brother. His frown deepened a little bit as he felt a tad bit of shame, as he watched the newest remembencer go. Why? Emotions and convoluted feeling always ended up in disaster, specifically with someone of his magnitude and rank. After all he had read so many stories of slave masters use their power to abuse others to get their way. He felt something boil up before taking a deep breath. Not here. Not now. There was endless work he needed to do so that his legion missions can be completed with efficiency.

In the meantime, you alongside with your Marine escorts had arrived in your room. It was very much lavish in comparison to the recent places you had been staying in but very utilitarian. In the room had a large bed, alongside with a dark covered nightstand. Across the room was a window that had long black drapes. Not like you would ever be closing those curtains anyway. You stepped into the room after bowing to the guard. Entering the room, you noticed to your right a second door, stepping foot was a washroom, with a shower. You were shocked. Very few people were allocated such a function and you felt rather honored in that regard. The room was black as per standard with a sink, toilet and shower. Still, as you heard them trudge away.. you took the sketchbook that you had and walked over to the bed.. Tomorrow was going to be your first day and well, you needed sleep at the very least. You prepared for bed, trying to adjust to planetary jet lag You climbed into the bed and before you knew it. You were asleep.

[serenedash]

I'm sure a lot of people have. Feelings. to put it lightly, about Xehanort's role in khuxdr. I absolutely do and there's just this thing that really bugs me about it that just rubs me the wrong way. This is gonna get a little long winded before I make my point-- but call this a Xehanort character analysis

So to ignore khuxdr completely for a moment, here we have Xehanort: the main antagonist, a man who has seemingly worked out every possible scenario and prepared for each and every one because just when you think you've defeated him he comes back like a hydra (idk insert a coliseum joke here but it's very literal with the way he uses other people). And one thing I've always loved about kh as a series is that there's this constant message of "you don't need to be special, you can just be you" because there's Sora-- who's not "the chosen one" and he knows that, he says it, and says he's proud to be apart of the people the keyblade did choose. This nobody kid who for all intents and purposes should've just been the side comic relief character and he's THE hero. And there's Xehanort, the big bad he's fighting who seems to be so all powerful that Sora is nothing against him. But kh does this interesting thing where we learn Xehanort is from Destiny Islands, he's just like Sora, Riku and Kairi. He was just a kid wanting more out of life and got more than what he bargained for.

I really enjoyed dark road giving us more insight into his past and motivations and how that shaped him because I think all of that and especially the final face off with Baldr and meeting MoM, 100% was the turning point for who he became. And I think that's really interesting that this kid form an island became so much more. And I enjoyed the kh3 secret reports greatly when we got to see writings by a younger Xehanort comparing himself to Eraqus and it really hammers in that Xehanort, like Sora, was just some kid thrown into this world that was far larger than he expected. And I think there's a lot of great parallels between Sora/Xehanort and Riku/Eraqus, which is interesting given that I feel like initially these parallels are set up to compare Riku to Xehanort when that really isn't the case at all!!! And kh3 definitely hammers it in more when Xehanort passes the x-blade to Sora; there was a lot of great discussion of that moment when the game released and the comparisons between the two.

But. then we get to khux. And don't get me wrong, I love khux I LOVE khux and I also actually really don't like Xehanort. But he's a really interesting and well written character. And it felt like there was all this development for Xehanort that happened and with the end of kh3 you really just, come to terms with it all I guess? and I think we can all agree that extra scene at the end of khux with baby Xehanort felt like a real slap to the face. It just felt really odd to turn around and say Xehanort isn't actually from Destiny Islands; I mean he basically is literally being raised there almost from birth but he's really not ESPECIALLY when it's added that he's a descendant of Ephemera. It was an odd choice, it really was. And it feels weird to know that and then see the kh3 secret reports where Xehanort shares feeling inferior to Eraqus due to Eraqus being a "blue blood." Like you are too???? And it's like I wish I could say Xehanort just didn't know that but we literally see Player 2 telling him this. Xehanort knows, has known, and he's smart so there's no way he got to Scala and heard all about this amazing Master Ephemera and didn't have all these realizations. Of course, I don't think Xehanort told anyone about his connection to Ephemera, but he knew. and We know. and it just kind of takes the wind out of my sails I think that this interesting character was set up and the context of his actions feels changed by the circumstances of his birth/childhood. Like I don't think he needed to be from Scala, to be related to Ephemera. I really don't think that had to be added in order to explain why he was obsessed with the keyblade war. Like Sora, Riku and Kairi knew nothing about any of that but they still wanted to go out into the world. Why does Xehanort need that justification for leaving?

Like. it's fine I guess and it all still makes sense and it's still interesting to see these characters tied together like this, but it was already set up so perfectly I think in relation to Sora and it feels so much lesser now and it's kind of like. oh okay this is what's happening now. But hey, at least khdr made me actually like xehanort a little lmao

[do-not-fearr]

Second Date - Eevrid the Drider

For all the people that wanted some more Eevrid. Not nsfw this time, just some pining, longing touches and Eevrid being cute.

Pairing: Drider x Reader

Wordcount: 1031

Tags: SFW short

Summary: You're on a second date with Eevrid, and you find a nice dark spot in a cosy cafe where you hope you have some privacy. You don't.

Eevrid and you had kept in contact. After meeting at his place and the things that happened there your relationship had progressed over the months you were together. You were proud to call yourself his' and vice versa, but you hadn't really taken your relationship... to the public yet.

Today was going to change that, as you looked in the mirror one last time  before deeming yourself sufficiently dressed up for your café date. Onward to his house where you found him dressed and ready. At least on the outside.

It was obvious he was nervous, and when he quickly mentioned: "We can also just stay indoors today. I have some fun ideas on how to spend the day..." with enough of a teasing lilt in his voice to cause a dull throb in your core, but also a little voice crack that betrayed his true feelings, you smiled widely at him. Hand reaching out to his as he squeezed your hand lovingly in return. 

"Don't worry, Eevrid. I'm here with you, remember?"

He had chosen the café, since he'd been there before and they were open and accepting to supernatural patrons, but it seemed it did not take away his unease. That's why you would stick close to him, if anyone had anything bad to say they'd had to go through you first. And you weren't ready to let anything go that could potentially hurt Eevrid. Sure, his many legs still looked a bit scary to you sometimes, but your love for him and what he could do with said many legs had taken away your crippling fear. Spiders were harmless to you now that you had Eevrid, and occasionally you'd even think they were cute.

Your chest puffed as both of you stepped outside, proud and excited to be with him in public, making your way over to the cosy little café. The further out you went the more gazes were sent Eevrid's way, ranging from confused to fearful, but you squeezed his hand tightly and guided him carefully to the café that thankfully wasn't that far. 

He had helped you over your fear, and you would do anything within your power to help him with his.

-

The vibes in the small coffeeshop were impeccable, fairy lights hanging on the walls and a mellow song was playing in the background as out of the waiters of many races a normal human approached you. She smiled, completely nonplussed by Eevrid's appearance as she guided you to your table, making sure it was a spot where the Drider could sit comfortably too. 

"This place is amazing," you said, eyes wandering around to take in the space. "I love it so far."

He hummed noncommittedly, and as you looked back you saw that while you had been taking in the sights he had been taking in you. The smile on his face so gentle and there was so much love in his eyes you instantly blushed, looking away as you chuckled. It felt like this was your first date again; except all fear had been replaced by giddiness and love for your partner. Your knee touched one of his rough legs and you ran your foot up it before someone appeared at your table, making you pull away instantly. It was the human, who smiled a little more knowing than you would've liked.

She took your order, and your eyes were on Eevrid again, whose expression hasn't changed. Had he been staring at you all this time? The blush on your face deepened and you reached over to grab his hand. "Stop staring at me," you whispered, a giggle in your voice and your eyes downcast at where he was squeezing your hand. 

"I can't help it," he whispered back, pulling your hand up to his strange lips and giving a little kiss to he back of your trembling hand. The texture of his slightly insectoid lower face always made you feel certain things, at first it was the thrill of it being so different, but now it reminds you of spicier times with him and what that texture did to you under different circumstances. There is no time to ponder your current feelings though, because your drinks were being brought over, and you once again pulled away from him a little, almost missing his little frown. 

The cafe was amazing, so were the drinks and the cakes that were brought out for you, but there was one thing that you wish was different; the waitress, as sweet and helpful as she was... kept arriving in the middle of you and Eevrid making eyes at each other. Almost as if she couldn't help interrupting your romantic date. Every time you both were touching she was suddenly there, and every time you pulled away quicker than the last, the frown on Eevrid's face deepening with every instance. Until suddenly it came to a head when Eevrid quietly asked: "Do you... not want her to see you're with me?"

Everything fell quiet in your brain and you looked at him with an open mouth, confused, until it dawned on you what you've been doing. But that was wrong. You were so proud to have him with you you could scream it from the rooftops. It was just...

A blush was on your face as you looked away, but before he could take it as an admission of guilt you stood up and walked over to him, moving between his many legs as you grabbed his face and pulled him closer for a kiss. Ignoring the waitress' eyes as you kissed him deeply. "I am shy, silly," is all you said between a blush and another kiss when you saw him smile. "The waitress is just too nosy. I am incredibly lucky and proud to have you at my side, and I want the world to know. Maybe not the PDA yet, though." 

He chuckled at this and put a stray strand of hair behind your ears before standing up to pay the bill. 

"Well, how about we go somewhere more private then?" he murmured as he pulled you closer slyly. Your enthusiastic nod was all he needed to drag you out back home.

[feathers-of-fluff]

An “Unknown” Discovery

A/N: first time writing a tickle fanfic, ya’ll!! apologies if it looks bad or just sorta meh, but despite all that, i hope you still enjoy!

Summary: Gold begins to feel sorrow the more he thinks about seeing his mother again. Upon noticing this, the Unown attempt to cheer up the child, but they make a sudden discovery that might just work.

~

Gold’s eyeless sockets stared off into space as the group of Unown floated about. He couldn’t help but think how long he’s been staying in this grave for. It felt like years, but it’s been at least a month since his death.

Darkness surrounded him, and the only thing that made him feel less lonely were the chirping sounds of red-eyed Unown communicating with each other, a few of them glancing at Gold. He couldn’t tell if these were their shiny forms, not having seen a real one before.

And speaking of them, if he had listened to those signs of what they were trying to tell him when he entered the Bellsprout Tower, he wouldn’t have ended up limbless in the first place, yet curiosity had gotten the best of him. He should’ve realized what was wrong and left back home safe. Safe with…

“…Mom..”

Gold looked down as guilt rushed through him the moment he remembered his mother. He had almost forgotten about her, and this was all his fault. She must be feeling so sad back at her home, thinking she might be the worst mother ever.

He begins to reminisce about those calm times where she’d make him his favorite grilled cheese sandwiches, the time when he showed his newly-chosen Cyndaquil to her and how she was proud. All of the memories made him want to see her again, but there was no other way. He was stuck here, possibly forever.

What if Mom soon forgets about him like he never existed? What if she does something to hurt herself out of guilt? What if she-

A sudden noise snapped the child out of it, causing him to quickly turn his head around only to see an Unown in the alphabet shape of an A letter staring at him. He was deep in thought that he hadn’t noticed the groups of Unown looking at him with seemingly worry.

A tear ran down his face from his sockets. The red-eyed creatures began forming some words together, the sentence appearing with what he assumes to be them asking:

‘ARE YOU OKAY?’

“I…” He spoke, more black tears forming as he recieves a certain memory of his mother and him hugging. This broke him.

“I-I miss my mommy!” Gold yelled, bursting into tears. The Unown exchanged looks with each other, seeing the sight of a crying child in despair. One of them floated over to him before nuzzling against his shoulder as a way of comfort.

A few more decided to join in on comforting the boy, sounds of chirping emitting from them as if they were telling him everything would be alright. Gold’s sobbing quiets down as he notices the Pokèmon attempting to make him feel better. It seems to be working, but not so much.

“I miss mommy s-so much.. I wish I c-could see her again…” He stuttered. The Unown did love to play around with him like a puppet, but they weren’t always so torturous or heartless. They had a soul too.

Gold’s crying suddenly pauses with a hitch of breath as he flinched the second he felt a tingling sensation. His visible white pupils looked over to spot a W-shaped Unown near his neck.

The red-eyed group of alphabets stared with curiosity in their eyes for a while before a snicker disturbed the silence as the W-shaped Unown nuzzled against Gold’s neck again.

“Q-Quihit that!”

It stops with a surprised chirp. The group float away from the limbless child and huddle up, seemingly discussing about something. Gold becomes a little confused, tilting his head. What were they planning to do with him? Whatever it is, he hopes they haven’t changed back to their old torturous selves.

The Unown, now having finished with their unintelligible conversation, turn around to Gold before forming into a message. And what it turned out to be was… unexpected.

‘ARE YOU TICKLISH?’

A blush shows on his face upon seeing the question. Did they really ask him that? He sat there silent with the red-eyed Unown staring, patiently waiting for an answer.

“Mmmayybee…?” He answers with slight embarrassment.

The creatures exchanged looks before slowly approaching him creating another message.

‘LIES’

This one sounded somewhat more of a tease than a threat. Gold tries to back up but remembers he has no arms or legs. All he could do was flail his “arms” about, unaware of one of the Unown sneaking up behind him with the simple goal to go inside his jacket through the hood.

“N-No! I’m not lying! I-I’m not that ticklish, plus I think I’m feeling better noOHOHOW-!” Gold gets interrupted by the sudden feeling of what felt like a Spinarak crawling inside his clothing, squirming around while giggling. “Sstahahap! G-Gehehet outta thehere!”

The red-eyed Pokèmon from inside of the jacket chirped, brushing against the child’s sides as it scattered around. Gold tries to hold in his laughter, but to no avail.

“Pfftahaha! NaHAHAt thehere!” He (somehow) kicked his “legs”, trying to shake out whatever was in his clothing. One of the Unown from the spectating group floated over to participate in the tickle attack, nuzzling against the young champion’s neck, earning more giggles from him.

“WAHAIT-! Nohohot yohohou too!” He yelped, trying to scrunch up his shoulders to stop the Unown, but he hesitated since he was worried he might accidentally hurt it.

More from the floating group joined as they began going through the hood of his jacket, tickly sensations from the stomach catching Gold off guard which resulted in him falling over on his back, now laying on the ground laughing. All worries about his mother soon went away.

“Plehehehease, hahahAVE MEHEHERCY! BAHAHAHA!” The feeling of nuzzles suddenly turned into wiggling fingers skittering at his armpit. Whatever could be doing that, he assumes it might be the same W-shaped Unown that tickled his neck. “AHAHANYWHERE BUHUT THEHEEHRE!” He plead, shaking his head while giggling like the child he was.

Gold turns his head to the other side, and of course the Unown had to make this embarrassing message in case they got his attention.

‘TICKLE TICKLE’

He wished he had his arms back permanently just to hide the growing blush on his face.

“OHOHOHOH *hic* SHUSH, WIHIHIHILL *hic* YAHAHAHA!” He hiccuped, unable to speak whilst in hysterical laughter. The red-eyed Pokémon saw this as their cue to stop as to avoid going overboard, stopping their playful tickling before exiting out of the jacket to let him catch his breath.

Gold laid on the ground for a moment, glancing around at the letters surrounding him seeing if he was still alright. It didn’t take too long for the phantom tickles to cease before another group of Unown assisted in getting Gold back up.

Upon being pushed up from the ground, his hat falls off his head. The creatures take notice of this before picking it up, spelling out ‘HERE’.

“Thank you..” He thanked them as they carefully put the hat back on his head. The Unown happily chirped, now spelling ‘HUG?’ as an offer.

He nods with a smile, allowing the group to huddle around him as their own way of hugging him, one of them nuzzling his neck making him chuckle.

Gold may not have his mother around, but he’s at least fine with being accompanied by red-eyed letters that aren’t so soulless than he thought.

~

End

[fiveminuterice]

HhHHHHHh thanks to you edyn and niklaus dating propaganda is not leaving my brain therefore I shall unstructurally ramble about it. my thoughts are very unbaked and just word and emotion soup rn but lo and behold: 

edyn's desire to find gillion being so strong that it drew niklaus to her (basically summoned him), and him seeing edyn, so distraught and on the verge of dying, having gone through a lot (what, exactly, he wouldn't know completely but he knows she'd suffered). He'd helped her, originally probably just out of curiosity of who this oh-so-interesting triton might be, so headstrong and also has some sort of connection to the gods (by virtue of being lunadeyis' chosen one, as he finds out later after talking to her more)

edyn, coming across this charming tiefling, who seems to be so laid-back and knowledgeable and so so helpful. the more he sticks around, the more she seems to trust him. his silky smooth voice and presence comforting her and despite everything, it feels so easy to open up to him. she tells him her story. How she'd been brought up, not with her family, but rather in the cold and isolating training rooms, under the elder's ever-harsh and watchful gaze. how she has a wonderful younger brother, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, so excitable and curious about everything. How her training never stopped. How she felt saddned about not being able to spend more of her time with her brother. How proud she was when she learned of her brother getting picked as an apprentice for a pretty high research position. How they were about to have a meeting with the Navy, and how things went from bad to disastrous in mere seconds. How her brother, about to be killed, got shown 'mercy' and got exiled. How they were going to send people to hunt him down, from what she overheard. How she left that place despite her training and duty towards her pledge of being the soldier the undersea required.

niklaus initially sticking around the chosen one, knowing that she would be bringing about waves of change with not just her prophecy but also because of the kind of person she seemed to be. soft-spoken but not taking anyone's shit. polite but calculative in terms of knowing what to say and to whom. learning the ways of the oversea quickly. her piercing blue eyes bright with determination, shining oh so perfectly in the sunlight. the turquoise and purple skin glistening under the light of the moon. her hair framing her face perfectly, her charming smile brightening the room, and her dimples making it even better.

them just growing closer over time, maybe splitting paths to move toward their own goals, but then meeting again on another island. growing closer and maybe one day over a bottle of wine, confessing their feelings to each other.

niklaus would probably try to act as he usually did, charming and nonchalant, while offhandedly mentioning his feelings in a tipsy daze. edyn, usually choosing her words carefully but for once letting loose and letting him know she liked and appreciated him in a way more than acquaintances way.

them deciding to start dating, and since they both know and understand they each have their own things to take care of, them keeping contact over conch shells.

edyn maybe coming across things which make her realise that there's a lot more to niklaus than he led on in the beginning and them having a whole talk about it.

edyn, after finding gillion, finding out her boyfriend made a deal with her brother and being internally devastated. because what could niklaus even want from him.

anyways VERY UNCOOKED THOUGHTS BUT YEAH. ALSO EDYN AND NIKLAUS MAKING OUT SEND POST <3

MY GODDDD YOUR BRAINNNNNNNNNN DAWG

Could you imagine if Niklaus made the deal with Gillion AFTER he met Edyn??? the DRAMA !!! and better yet if she finds out about the deal from Gillion and not from Niklaus like hooohhhhhh my godd

The idea of them only meeting every so often between islands is a really interesting idea. like “oh, i didn’t expect to see you again” and they *keep* meeting again to the point Edyn would specifically look out to see if she can find Niklaus. Eventually they exchange callnches or however that works, and Edyn is so HAPPY. and NIKLAUS IS SO HAPPY TOO!! he keeps up his facade, but he’s genuinely happy to know Edyn!! LIKE AS A PERSON!!

Niklaus having to kind of battle who he is as a person and who he wants to be to be with Edyn. GOD ,, i think even him offhandedly mentioning his feelings for Edyn as he’s tipsy is CRAZYYYYYY like man’s needs an excuse for himself to be TRUTHFUL TO THE WOMAN HE HAS FEELINGS FOR. BUT HE DOES LIKE HER!! I think it would be even more tragic if he really earnestly has feelings for Edyn, but whatever he felt wasn’t enough for him to tell her the TRUTH.

Also the Breakdown of Edyn realizing that she’s shared EVERYTHING about herself to Niklaus and he has barely opened up about himself at all. or worse, he has but only the parts he wanted her to know about. and now he has her YOUNGER BROTHER, essentially the only family she has that matters, at his mercy. and he didn’t even tell her. and if she never found gillion, she’d never know. how would she be able to reconcile in her mind who Niklaus is and who he showed himself to be.

[semper-legens]

66. Proud, ed. by Juno Dawson

Owned?: No, library Page count: 336 My summary: A girl and her phoenix ponder their marriage prospects. A trans boy on a LGBT+ football team face trials on and off the pitch. A choir sings Firework and finds their voice. A pair of girls find love among the graffiti. Tales of young people, tales of LGBT+ people, tales of hope. And above all, tales of pride. My rating: 4/5 My commentary:

This is not my first time reading this collection. The last time was on a train home from seeing my brother, who lived in Birmingham at the time - the trains were cancelled and delayed and cancelled again, and it was a very unexpectedly long journey. I remember that I pulled this out of my bag while on a rail replacement bus for the last leg of the journey, and got weirdly emotional about it at like midnight on a dark road in the middle of nowhere. This reading…made me far less emotional, let's put it that way. While I liked it overall, with a bit more clarity I can see some of its flaws a bit more clearly, which I'll talk about under the cut.

So overall, I liked this collection, but I felt like something was lacking for me. All of the stories felt just a little too 'safe'. Most were about LGBT+ kids who were accepted by their friends and families without fanfare, most were cozy in some way. One that was explicitly about the struggles of coming out acknowledges from the off that the kid's family would not have a problem with it. And I'm not exactly going to be claiming here that all LGBT+ stories have to be all doom and gloom, that there can be no cozy romances for LGBT+ people, because that would be silly. But this collection tended towards the saccharine as a whole, and I think having a few more murky stories among them would have balanced the rest out a lot better. (Then again, I acknowledge that this collection is for LGBT+ teens, and I am 28. So any opinion I have here has to be taken with a grain of salt.) As ever with short stories, I'm only going to talk about some of them in detail, so here we go!

The Courage of Dragons was a rare one set not in the contemporary world but a sort of mythic China, where young women are chosen by phoenixes and the emperor wishes to take one for a bride. The protagonist struggles over this, as she does not want to marry the emperor even though it would represent a great social advancement for herself and for her family. This is resolved when another girl from nearby runs off with her phoenix, which is actually their phoenix, and the two realise their mutual attraction. I liked the playfulness of this story, in particular the silliness of the phoenix's name, as well as the woven-through idea of the two girls' professions, a herbalist and a lantern-maker. It made for some neat imagery, and their story of self-discovery is both interesting and engaging.

The Other Team was a charming story. It's about a trans kid in an LGBT+ football club, full of misfits and outcasts who, on the whole, are pretty bad at football. I liked that aspect of it! The story wasn't a trite heartwarming affair where the scrappy underdogs fought like hell to win the match, it was a more realistic look at a kid playing football for fun with his mates and just wanting to be accepted for who he is. I like that the attitudes of the straight team are changed a little in an understated and subtle manner, and that there is no fairytale ending, but you leave with a sense of satisfaction nonetheless. It was cute, and I liked it.

Love Poems to the City was one of the latter stories in this collection, and to my mind one of the best. It details a girl unsure of herself as many teenagers are who falls for a girl because of the graffiti on the walls telling her to go for it. There was an air of magical realism to it, which I really enjoyed - the graffiti itself goes unexplained, and it's ambiguous as to whether it is actually supernatural or not. It's a cute story which, again, succeeds for having a hint of darkness to it in my mind.

Next…sorry. I swear this is my last bit of FNaF.