#i feel slight shame but i am free no less

[possessedpasm]

*Throws popcorn at him*

[lovelivision]

BAD ROMANCE.ᐟ

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: gojo satoru/reader

𝐖𝐂: 9.4k

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: your love life is in a tragic state, all your dates go poorly and just when you think you found a nice guy you could like, that ends poorly too. good thing you have your best friend gojo to look out for you !

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 18+ only, smut, f!reader, she/her pronouns used, cheating (not done by reader or gojo), dirty talk, cunnilingus, fingering, spitting, praise, p in v sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, big dick!gojo, tease/mean!gojo (he likes embarrassing reader), jealous!gojo, gojo is down BAD, use of pet names, that's all !! (i think :3)

Checking the time again, you sigh, it’s bordering on an hour since you first sat down to wait for your date. The thought that you had been stood up entered your mind maybe half an hour ago but now it’s practically been cemented.

Maybe you should just cut your losses and leave but this is a nice place, it’d be a shame to waste the reservation. Hope that your date is going to miraculously show up has left you though. Opening your texts, you think of who to message, the idea to message Gojo briefly crossing your mind before you decide he is the worst possible person to tell about this.

Instead, you message Shoko, asking if she’s free and telling her of your failed date. It takes her a few minutes to reply and when she does, instead of a straightforward response, you receive a cryptic and ambiguous saluting emoji. Deciding to take that as confirmation of her presence, you begin waiting… again.

You think you’ve reached your waiting quota of the year, no more waiting on people. Why do people never seem to value your time? While lamenting to yourself silently, you don’t notice the arrival of someone incredibly familiar, someone incredibly exasperating.

“I’m hurt you know.”

The words startle you and as you look up to find the source of them, you’re confronted with Gojo standing beside you. Pouting like he’s feeling extremely slighted by you for some indiscernible reason.

You almost sputter at him, his presence completely unexpected, “What are you doing here?”

He ignores your question, continuing with his faux pain, “My best friend gets stood up and instead of messaging me… she messages Shoko? That stings.”

Sighing off his dramatics, you ask again, “What are you doing here, Gojo?”

“What else would I be here for?” He smiles big at you, moving to sit in the chair opposite you, flopping down and making himself comfortable, “I’m here to be your date!”

Propping your head up on your hand, you grumble at him, “How did you even know I was stood up?”

“I was with Shoko when you messaged her,” he shrugs easily.

You squint at him, “Why are you here and not her?”

“Because it is my duty as your best friend to be there for you.”

So stubborn about the weirdest things, you’ve known each other forever and sure, maybe he is your best friend, but this is something that has bruised your ego a bit. It’s silly, but for some reason… you don’t really want for Gojo to see you like this.

Sulking, you huff, “It’s not a big deal, I just didn’t wanna waste the reservation.”

“Don’t lie, you dressed up all cute and the dude couldn’t even be bothered to show up?” He frowns like he’ll get angry if he thinks about it for too long, “It’s a big deal.”

“You’re more upset about it then I am,” you play at indifference and while you don’t really care about your failed date, you are thinking really hard about how he said you dressed cute.

“That’s just ‘cause you’re always settling for less than what you deserve,” he grows a little more irritated, like his observation annoys him more than it annoys you.

Defending yourself with a grumble, “That’s not true.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” he smiles in a manner that exudes disbelief. Because it does, Gojo has witnessed you settle for less nearly every single day of your lives and every time he has to grit his teeth and cope.

Crossing your arms, you snark at him, “Don’t patronise me, Gojo.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he still has that smile plastered on his face.

You glare at him from across the table but sit in silence, not really having anything else to say to him right now. Annoyed at yourself for losing the back and forth between the two of you for not the first time and definitely not the last.

Gojo, however, is not capable of sitting in silence for too long and so, he whines at you, “Anyways, I thought I was always your first call when things went wrong.”

Looking away from him, you scratch at the back of your neck awkwardly, “You are… for other things.”

Catching onto your meaning, he asks, “So, you never call me when things go wrong on dates?”

“…Correct.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not really something I thought would matter to you this much.” The truth is, you’ve been on much worse dates, dates where they actually show up but prove themselves to be some of the worst people. You always call Shoko though… that or you just brush it off.

Telling Gojo about your dating life feels weird, it’s not like he tells you about his.

His mouth downturns at your remark, “Anything that involves you matters to me.”

“It’s not like you tell me about your dating life,” you counter, starting to feel somewhat badly.

“I would, if I had one,” he leans back into his chair more, “I’m not currently dating though.”

Sheepishly, you say, “Oh…well…I am.”

“I know that now,” his eyes focus on you, “Just how many dates have you gone on recently?”

“Recently?” he nods at you, “Uhm… a few every couple of weeks, not heaps but… frequently enough that getting stood up isn’t the worst thing to happen to me lately.” You laugh slightly at a memory, “You know, on one of them, the guy actually got back with his ex during our date, like he–”

You cut yourself off when you realise Gojo isn’t experiencing the same amount of enjoyment at the recounting of your date a few weeks ago. “Why is this bugging you?”

“It’s not,” his tone is certain but the expression he’s wearing is anything but. Clearly annoyed by something.

Challenging his logic, you ask, “Do you want me to tell you about my dating life?”

He thinks on it for a second, “No.”

Tilting your head at him, “See? That’s what I thought–”

“–But I want you to call me when things go badly,” his gaze even on you, unwavering.

“You’re annoying,” you huff out a breath.

His face brightens up again, “And yet I’m still your best friend.”

You can only roll your eyes at him because he’s right, he’s completely annoying and also completely your best friend.

★

After that failed date that turned into you having dinner with Gojo, you decided you would listen to him and call him whenever a date goes south. He seemed actually bothered by the fact you weren’t relying on him more, so you decided that if something does go wrong, you’d tell him about it.

However, your dating life has been going pretty swimmingly the past couple weeks. You’ve actually found someone you wouldn’t mind being with, having gone on a few dates with him now. You’ve pretty much been exclusively seeing him, he’s taken you out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Previous dates barely made it through one meal, but this guy managed to appeal to you enough to take you out multiple times.

It’s your fault that you got your hopes up, thinking that maybe he was different but as you sit on the couch in his apartment, his assumed girlfriend yelling at him, you can see he’s just like everyone else in the dating scene these days. It’s that or you just have really bad luck when it comes to your romantic life.

For the third time, you try to leave but he holds you back, “Wait no, please don’t go, this is just a misunderstanding!”

You shrug him off you, his touch making you feel disgusting.

Going to say something in reply, but his girlfriend speaks first, “So now you’re cheating on me and trying to keep her here?”

He sputters, like he forgot she was here for a moment, “No! Babe, I’m not cheating on you!”

Awkwardly, you scratch at the back of your neck, “Listen, I’m going to be so honest, I think you’re a bad person and any interest I had in you is gone. I’d just really like to leave now.”

He’s wearing an annoyed look on his face, “How do you even expect to get home? I drove you here.”

She scoffs at him from by the door, foot tapping impatiently, “Now you’re offering her a ride home? Are you fucking serious right now?”

Walking to the front door, you shuffle around his girlfriend, “I’m just gonna… slide right past you.” Pausing after opening the door and turning back to address her, “Uhm… Just in case he tries lying to you… we went on multiple dates over the past couple weeks.” Standing awkwardly for an extra moment as her face twists in realisation, “Bye!” You rush out the door, speed walking to the elevator.

The screaming and yelling gets louder from their apartment, able to hear them until you finally get in the elevator and start heading down to the ground floor. In the lobby, you pull out your phone and sigh dejectedly, scrolling for Gojo’s contact, you need a ride home.

He picks up pretty quickly, “Hello?”

You get straight to the point, not feeling particularly great right about now, “…I need a ride home.”

“Well, good evening to you too,” he replies, voice full of mirth, “You know. people normally exchange pleasantries over the phone before immediately asking for things, I’ve been told – by you actually – that just asking for things straight up can be read as rude, so–”

“–Satoru.”

The use of his name has him going quiet, stopping his tangent instead to ask, “Where are you?”

You’re tired, your mood travelling through the phone as you answer, “Some apartment, I’ll text you the address…”

“You okay?” He checks.

You can’t help the pause before your reply, “…Yeah.”

His concern for you growing at your seeming uncertainty, “You gonna tell me what happened?”

It’s a little embarrassing, you think, but yeah, you’ll tell him about it, “Later… I just wanna go home now.”

“Alright, I’ll be there soon.” He hangs up before you get to thank him.

You text him the address and then head out the front of the building, waiting for him to get you. While you’re waiting, you find yourself wondering if that girl will stay with him, you hope she doesn’t, she deserves better than him.

When Gojo pulls up, you silently slip into the passenger seat, you’re expecting him to immediately drive away but he turns and looks at you. His eyes examining you carefully, scrutinising you.

Turning your head to the side, “What?”

“Just making sure you’re okay.” His hands reach out and for a second you think he’s going to touch you, but he pulls on the seatbelt and clicks it into place for you.

You mumble out at him, dismissive, “I’m fine.”

He hums at you, in that way that tells you he doesn’t believe you even a little bit but he’s letting it go for now. Instead focusing on getting you home.

Back at your apartment, Gojo follows you all the way inside, you thought maybe he would just drop you home and leave you alone, but he’s followed you into your living room. You don’t know if you have the energy for him right now, feeling so drained. Probably feeling this way because you’re incapable of finding a decent guy to date.

Couch looking so inviting, you flop down onto it face first, mumbling out, “Gojo, will you just be my boyfriend?”

He seems taken aback by your sudden ask, choking on his own spit, coughing out a confused, “What?”

Sighing, you cryptically answer, “I don’t think I’m built for the dating scene.”

When he finishes hacking up a lung, he taps your legs, to which you hold them up so he can sit down. His hand tugging them back down once he’s sat, “What happened, sweetheart?”

Your voice is still muffled by the couch cushions, “Been seeing a guy for a couple weeks now–”

“–The same one?” Gojo cuts you off.

Humming out a, “Yes and–”

Again, he cuts you off, “–That’s pretty serious…”

I know but­–”

“–Why didn’t you tell me about him?” His tone growing slightly alarmed by the apparent seriousness of your dating life.

Becoming somewhat annoyed, you push yourself out of the cushions and sit up to face him, your legs still resting in his lap, “You said you didn’t wanna hear about my dating life.” You point an accusatory finger at him.

“Yeah, but casually dating and actively seeing someone is different–” He’s not really sure if he’s making a fair point or not but sticking to it like he is.

“–Does it matter?” You’re looking at him incredulously, not sure if there is a difference.

He’s steadfast in his opinion, “Of course it matters.”

“I don’t think it should, especially since–”

“–If you’re seeing the same guy multiple times that means you were actually interested in him­–” He’s annoyed at himself for not realising you were seeing the same guy, for not asking questions, not realising how serious you were getting about one guy. So caught up in this one fact that he’s lost sight of his original purpose of being here.

“–Can you stop cutting me off!” You raise your voice at him, getting sick of how much he’s been interrupting you, “I’ve been trying to tell you that he had a girlfriend the whole time,” you purse your lips and look away from him, feeling embarrassed, “That’s why I asked you to come get me.”

“Oh…” He feels bad now.

“…Yeah, she showed up while I was there, and it was really uncomfortable, and I didn’t exactly feel safe.” You sigh, slumping, “And now I just feel really bad about dating.”

Completely serious when he suggests, “Maybe you should stop.”

“Stop dating?”

Consistent in his confirmation, “Yes.”

Meeting his gaze again, “How else am I going to meet someone?”

He rolls his eyes at your question, irritated for reasons unknown to you, “Why do you need to date someone now anyways?”

You don’t really see his point, what does he mean ‘why?’… why else do people date? “Maybe I’m lonely, maybe I seek companionship, maybe I’m like every other normal person?”

“You have me though,” you’d think he was joking if he weren’t so straight faced.

Unsure how to go about answering when it seems pretty straight forward to you, “Gojo… that’s not the same thing, we’re friends, we don’t look at each other that way.”

“Says you.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I’d date you in a heartbeat,” he folds his arms over his chest, “In fact, you’re the only person I want to date.”

You can’t tell if he’s teasing or not, “Get real, that’s not what I meant.”

His head tilts at you, “What did you mean then?”

“I’m talking about romantic and sexual attraction,” you’re avoiding his gaze again.

So casual in how he bluntly asks, “You think I’m not sexually attracted to you?”

His question catches you off guard slightly, “It’s not just about sexual attraction, Gojo,” you shake your head, “if that were the case, I’d just be having one night stands all the time, I want a relationship with someone…”

He nods his head like he suddenly understands, “Ah, so you think I’m not romantically interested in you?”

“You shouldn’t be.”

“Why not?”

Disbelieving when you look at him, “Are you serious right now? We’re friends.”

“Yeah, we are friends, but I also happen to be romantically and sexually attracted to you.”

How do you even respond to a confession like that? He’s not even flustered, completely nonchalant in how he’s just told you that he’s interested in you. “I don’t think–”

“–Are you going to tell me you’re not interested in me? Even a little bit?”

“We’re friends.”

“Is that the only thing stopping you?” He doesn’t wait for your answer, “Because if it is, then it’s a little arbitrary, no?”

The beginning of a frown settles on your features, “What are you trying to get me to say? That I’d date you if we weren’t friends, that I’d fuck you?”

He smiles at you, “Sure, but if you would if we weren’t friends, I’m saying you should even though we are.”

Frown deepening, “You’re being serious?”

“I’m being so serious,” he leans in slightly, hand moving to your face, thumb smoothing over the crease between your brows.

Looking at his lips before catching yourself and turning your head to the side, away from his touch, away from his enticing lips.

He sighs at your reaction, “You know, I’ve been interested in you from the beginning, and maybe I’m an idiot for not saying anything but watching you seriously try dating someone else might just kill me.”

You had no idea he liked you, you’ve liked him at different points in your life too, but he always seemed so out of reach from you, and you never wanted to ruin the friendship, so you forced yourself to move on. It feels a little unfair that you’re finding out now he’s liked you the whole time, “What are you asking of me?”

“I’m asking you to give me a chance,” his hand gently guides your face to look at him again, “I’m asking you to seriously try dating me.”

You’re trying to make a decision, trying to figure out how to answer him, if you should even give him a chance but the way he’s looking at you, how his gaze flicks between your eyes and your lips is distracting you.

Brows pulling up, voice quieter than before, “Gojo, you need to stop looking at me like that if you want an answer.”

“Like what?” He plays dumb.

“Like you really wanna kiss me,” you murmur back.

“Can’t help it…” he leans in a little bit more, “Maybe if you let me kiss you, I’ll stop.”

“Satoru,” you warn.

“Hmm?” His eyes meet yours for a moment, trying to see what you want.

He’s making you dizzy, “I can’t make a choice when you’re this close.”

Humming at you, “Why not?”

“Can’t think,” you blurt it out before really thinking about how it will come across.

He’s smiling smugly, “Then don’t.”

You don’t know who leans in first, all you know is his lips are on yours and they’re soft. Kissing you gently, trying to learn how you like to be kissed. Growing more insistent the longer you let him kiss you, the years of his need bleeding into it.

One of his hands traveling down your body, resting on your hip, the other cradling your face. He’s leaning into you more, pushing your body down into the couch, him following behind it, never parting from your lips very long.

Hand now holding himself above you, kiss growing urgent, tongue licking into your mouth, meeting yours in a way that makes your body tingle. If you thought his proximity was making you dizzy before than his kiss might have you actually passing out. Skin growing hot at how his hand on your face angles you, how he deepens the kiss effortlessly.

If Gojo were more aware of himself, of the precarious position he’s put himself in, he might be a little bit more careful with how feverish his kisses are and how needy he’s getting but when he’s finally getting to kiss you after years of not being able to, he can’t really control himself. The little control he does have, slipping when you moan into his mouth, his own moan shared in the kiss.

It's you who parts the kiss, it had to be because he certainly wasn’t going to be able to do it. If he had his way, he’d have his mouth on you until he died. In the back of his mind, he knew that kissing you would be good, but he didn’t think he’d get so lost in it. Somewhat embarrassed at himself for how aroused he’s gotten over your lips on his.

Your huffed breaths are intermingled with how close you both are to each other, Gojo hovering over you, speaking into your mouth, “Have you made a decision yet?”

You’re having trouble thinking still, especially with how his lips brush ever so slightly against yours, “I…uhmm…”

When he realises how dazed you are, two things happen. One; his ego grows about ten times bigger and two; he pulls back from you, still close enough that if you tugged on him, you could kiss him again but enough to hopefully give you room to think.

“Come on, don’t keep a guy waiting,” he’s taunting you lightly, taking joy in how hazy your eyes are as you look up at him.

“Okay,” you nod.

“Hmm? Okay what?”

Taking another moment to clear your brain fog, you answer again, “Okay, I will seriously try dating you.”

“Can’t date anyone else while you do,” he conditions.

“Okay,” agreeing easily.

He adds, “Have to seriously think about me being your boyfriend.”

Again, agreeing, “Okay.”

“Have to keep kissing me right now,” smile growing on his features.

“Ok–” frowning at him when you realise, “–Hey.”

“You don’t want to?” His hand tilts your head up by your chin, looking down into your eyes, “Because you look like you want to.”

Pouting at him, “Don’t be cruel.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart,” his smile evil as he continues to look down at you.

Leveling him with an even stare, you state, “I don’t sleep with guys on the first date.”

“Got a dirty mind, huh? All I asked for was a kiss.”

You glare at him and then try to avoid his gaze, voice smaller than before, “You don’t kiss like that’s all you want.”

His smile is crooked as he asks, “And how do I kiss?”

Feeling your skin flare at his taunting question, at how he leans in again, his mouth right over yours, “Dizzyingly.”

He breathes out an amused laugh before he’s slotting his mouth back over yours, how you described his kiss is accurate. He kisses you in such a way that you can’t think straight even if you really want to, which is why it’s probably a bad idea to keep letting him kiss you if you don’t want to sleep with him before you even get a first date.

Abruptly parting your mouth from his, gasping out, “Wait,” taking a second to catch your breath. Gojo groans softly at the loss of your lips, his forehead resting on yours waiting for you to speak.

“What’s wrong?” He asks when you don’t continue.

“You need to stop kissing me.”

“Oh?” He hums at you in thought, his lips now trailing down the side of your face, only to rest right by your ear, “And why’s that?”

His voice has goose bumps raising on your skin, “If you keep kissing me like that…” your volume gets quieter as you mumble out, “…I’ll wanna have sex with you.”

He has the fucking audacity to laugh at you, “That worked up by a few kisses, huh?” Taunting you like he isn’t the hardest he’s ever been, cock twitching at your confession.

“Shuddup.”

His words are dripping with delight, “At least we know you’re sexually attracted to me.”

He licks lightly at your ear, and you feel like you almost jump out of your skin, gasping at it. Hands reaching out to push back on his chest, “You’re a mean man, Gojo.”

“At this point…” He looks you over, unmoved by your hands, “…I think it would be meaner to deprive yourself.”

“We are not sleeping together for the first time on my couch before we even go on a date,” you’re trying to stay steadfast but he’s making it hard when he keeps looking at you like that.

“So… you’re saying I should take you to the bedroom?” When you look at him in exasperation, he smiles softly, “I’m just kidding, we won’t do anything you don’t want to, but I will point out – for the last time – that you look an awful lot like you want to.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to… I just feel like if you’re gonna make me seriously consider you then I should date you properly too,” you avoid his gaze, feeling unusually sincere.

Abruptly, he states, “It wouldn’t be our first date though.”

“What?”

He’s a little distant when he answers, having trouble concentrating on the conversation when you’re pouting your lips at him like you are, “I count a couple weeks ago as our first date.”

“When I was stood up?” You scoff, “That does not count.”

“Why not?”

“Because it wasn’t even planned.”

“No but we ate dinner together and you were dressed awful cute, I count it as a date,” smirk present on his face as he continues to hover over you.

Ignoring his compliment, you continue to try and reason, “We were still just friends then though.”

“So, we aren’t ‘just friends’ now?” He’s being a smart ass, he knows what you mean but he’s not going to let up on this, taking it as a small victory in making you think of him as more than just a friend.

You return earnestly, “I don’t wanna count it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it wasn’t meant to be you on that date…” before he can get hurt over those words, you clarify, “…don’t get me wrong, I had fun and I’m glad you showed up, but it wasn’t planned to be you… when we go on our first date… I want it to be meant for you.” You’re unsure if you verbalised yourself in a way that makes sense, feeling much more nervous all of a sudden.

He’s looking at you so intently and you’re worried you’ve upset him somehow, “I know you said I need to stop kissing you, but that’s what I want more than anything right now.” He leans in closer, pausing just shy of your lips.

His words make your heart stutter, throwing caution to the wind as you close the distance between the two of you again, kissing him fully. Letting his mouth consume your ability to think critically, all too happy to fall into him.

Your control of the situation is slipping more and more away from you and so is the ability to care, not minding at all how you’re becoming more and more okay with how hot your body is starting to feel.

Hands reaching up and fisting the material of his shirt, pulling him down into you, his hips colliding with yours. Almost entirely instinctually – and somewhat purposefully – your legs wrap around his lower half. One of his hands reaches for your thigh, gripping the fattest part of it harshly.

You both moan into the kiss and he parts his mouth from yours, voice straining when he speaks, “Sweetheart, if you really don’t want to do anything more than this then you need to tell me to get off you right now.”

Looking at him through your lashes, you play coy, “But I like having you on top of me.”

A shiver runs down his spine, “You’re evil,” he grunts, fighting the urge to grind down into you.

He’s been pining after you for years and it feels like torture to be this close to you, pelvis pressed up against yours, having you so pliant and needy under him. He can feel his sanity slipping from him the longer you stay like this, and your words make it harder for him to pull away.

“Satoru–” when you say his name his hips jut into yours, making you gasp against him.

He hisses an apology through his teeth, “Sorry – fuck – sorry, what’s up?”

Deciding to be forward, “Take me to my room?”

Trying to hide the excitement from his face, he checks with you, “You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you give a small nod, feeling shy.

You really do want to though, more than anything. Only initially so hesitant because this doesn’t feel like the right way to do things but then again, your whole relationship with Gojo is a little less than conventional at times.

When he determines that you’re sure of yourself, he’s off you in the blink of an eye. Quick in his movements as he pulls you up along with him. Before you can even really register that you’re off the couch, you’re thrown over his shoulder as he walks hurriedly to your room.

“Someone’s eager,” you laugh at how ridiculous he’s being.

The chuckle he returns is humourless, “You have no fucking idea.”

You’re dropped down onto your bed unceremoniously, bouncing slightly at the force of it. Your arms reach out behind you to support yourself, palms splayed against your bedspread. Gojo is already tugging his shirt off and over his head, thrown and lost to some corner of your room.

“Gojo, breathe.”

“Don’t need to breathe,” he smiles large at you, “Do need your pants off though.”

Listening to him, you shimmy your pants down your legs, mumbling to him about how bossy he is.

“You know… I’m hearing a lot of complaining but I am also seeing a whole lot of direction following,” he teases.

You grumble at him, “If you’re going to be like this the whole time then I’m changing my mind.

“Don’t lie to yourself, sweetheart. You’re not fooling anyone, especially not with how you’re rubbing your thighs together.” His large hands grip your thighs, “Feeling horny?”

You don’t really want to answer him honestly but denying it feels like a trap, like he’d do something to prove you wrong and the last thing you want is for him to torture you. You’re already so pitifully slick from kissing him.

Fighting with your embarrassment, you give him your best pleading face, “Mhm, really horny.”

The smugness drops from his face, hands suddenly tugging you down the bed as he drops to his knees. Mouth leaving kisses from your knees to your inner thighs, your breath catching in your lungs. Not expecting him to be so forward, though you don’t know what you were expecting if not that.

“Gojo, you don’t have to–”

“I want to,” his eyes flick to yours, “Plus, if you wanna take me, you’re gonna need the prep,” smile growing at how your eyes grow wider.

Disbelief clear in your expression, accusing, “You’re full of it.”

He’s not worried about your scepticism, “You’ll find out for yourself in a bit.” He shrugs easily, “Now, can I put my tongue on your pretty pussy, or do you have more to say?”

He asks but his attention is already completely on your covered cunt, a single finger moving under the elastic of the waist band just to snap it back against you. A small noise of shock leaving you, “Ah! Do what you want…”

Oh, he looks so excited by your words, “You mean it?”

You’ll be honest and admit you weren’t really paying attention to what you were saying, brain hazy with how close he is to your core, skin pricking at how you can feel his hot breath against you. Feeling so unusually exposed and sensitive and you can’t tell if you’re that worked up or if he just has that effect on you.

“Mhm,” you’re nodding your head at him, giving him a green light, for what, you’re not entirely sure, all you know is that you want him to do something – anything.

“These are some really cute panties…kinda bothers me,” he’s still playing with the edges of them, annoyed when remembering you were with another guy tonight. Were you going to sleep with him tonight?

Pulling yourself up onto your elbows, you question, “What?”

Eyes flicking towards yours, “I’m a bit of a jealous guy.”

“I know this,” he always has been quick to get worked up over things regarding you, though it makes a little more sense after learning he’s liked you for so long.

He smiles at you, but his eyes are humourless, “Of course you do,” he fists at the material of your panties, “But the idea of another guy getting so close to seeing you in these… has me feeling really annoyed.”

The sound of fabric tearing fills your ears, he’s just ripped your panties off you completely. There is no salvaging them, completely useless as he throws them over his shoulder.

“Hey! those were my good pair!” They were one of the nicer pairs you own.

“Who cares about that?” His tone is dismissive, hands spreading your legs obscenely, eyes greedily looking at your uncovered pussy, “Your cunt is much cuter.”

God, you feel like you might pass out, face suddenly extremely hot, “Don’t be crude.”

“Hmm? …but I think you like it though…” his thumb swipes through your folds and you gasp at him, “Got so much wetter when I said it.”

He’s quick to begin rubbing circles into your clit, thumb giving even pressure. The stimulation has your arms shaking, threatening to give out from under you. Biting your lip to stop yourself from moaning, feeling embarrassed at how intently he’s shamelessly staring at your cunt.

Continuing to speculate, he says, “That or you like being praised…” he smirks evilly, “You like being praised, sweetheart? Being told how good you’re being for me?”

Your heart leaps in your chest, brows upturning, trying to hide your outward reaction to his words, “Hah– No…”

“Such a bad liar,” eyeing your face, “Wearing a really great expression right now though.”

Fighting the urge to grind down, you deny, “Not lying.”

He ignores you, “Could be both though,” he’s continuing to ponder on what you react most to, “Which is it, sweetheart? You like how crude I am, or do you like the praise?”

You don’t plan on answering him, eyes closing harshly against his intense gaze, feeling way too exposed. His touch leaves you and you open your eyes in alarm, trying to see what he’s doing. You see his smile before he’s leaning in and licking up the length of your pussy, eyes locked on yours the whole time.

Surprised moans slip from you, arms almost giving out completely, head rolling back. His arms wrap around your legs to hold you steady, face pushing closer into you, tongue flicking at your clit before pressing into your pussy hole.

He’s relishing in your sounds, in how wet you are, how you taste and smell, almost forgetting why he did this in the first place. Pulling away from you with a lewd smack of his lips, smiling big at the whine you let out from the loss of him.

Huffing slightly as he says, “Asked a question, not licking your pussy again until you answer it.”

“I don’t know,” your head lolls forward, eyes wet.

Head moving to the side to nip lightly at your thigh, “Shall we find out then?”

You jolt at the sensation, face twisting in confusion at him.

“You don’t gotta do anything, sweetie, just stay like this,” his hands push back on your thighs though, opening you up to him even more. “Been doing so good for me, sound so pretty,” he coos at you.

Brows furrowing at his words, heart skipping beats at his sudden praise, feeling fuzzy all over.

He hums in thought, “So fucking wet for me, dripping everywhere, creamy fucking pussy.”

You twitch at the switch, wanting to crawl away from him.

“I think I’ve just realised something,” he glances up at you, “Got such nice reactions to both things I said, do you know how much wetter you got, cunt twitching and drooling for me.”

You try pulling from him, but his hold is firm, “Gojo!” You warn.

He might be enjoying this too much but learning about what gets you going is way too enticing, especially when he doesn’t have to do much to have you looking so pathetic. “Trying to run away from me,” he tsks, “But you’re fucking dripping, so reactive, so sweet.” His eyes are glazing over, working himself up.

“‘Toru!” You call for him again, you feel like you’re on fire, beyond embarrassed.

He groans at the nickname, not hearing it from you in so long, you used to always call him that. He liked it a little too much, cock leaking for you. He feels as wrecked as he looks when he looks up at you, “I think you like both,” is his conclusion.

Reaching up, he grabs at your hand and pulls it down to your cunt, his fingers guiding your own through your slick. You gasp at it, not expecting for yourself to be so soaked. Biting at your lower lip when he moves your fingers over your clit, teasing you.

Dazed when he asks, “Ever been this wet, pretty?”

You shake your head, “No… I didn’t know I…”

Fingers moving yours to your entrance, “Poor thing, didn’t know how slutty her pussy was.” Feeling the way your cunt clenches at his words, his face bright with it, “Fucking great though, in love with it,” and again, your brows raising in realisation, “Yeah… you know now, don’t you?”

“You’re making me feel embarrassed,” you pout, head dizzy.

“No, I’m making you feel so fucking horny, not my fault that you like being embarrassed and praised at the same time,” he pulls your fingers away from your core, moving them to his mouth, sucking them clean.

You remove your fingers from him, coming to rest back in the bed, feeling breathless as you look down at him. “What do you want from me?”

“Want you to admit it, want you tell me how much you like when I talk to you,” his hand tickles up the skin of your inner thigh.

“…Like it,” you mumble out.

Humming in thought, “Hmm, not good enough, don’t think I believe you.”

Repeating, louder, “I like it.”

Tilting his head at you, “You like what?”

“I like when you talk to me,” you say with more force, brows furrowed.

He pretends to be unsure of your answer, “Are you sure?”

“Yes!” You try again, but as his expression remains unchanging, you add, “I like when you talk to me, I like how hot and fuzzy your words make me feel, I like just the sound of your voice, makes me want to squirm. Love it even! Is that what you wanted to hear?” You huff.

“Holy fuck, yes,” if he weren’t already on his knees, he would’ve fallen to them again.

You let out a squeal at the way his mouth is already back on you, tongue pushing into your hole insistently. Fervent in his actions, clearly worked up by your words. If he were on the bed, he’d be shamelessly grinding his hips down into it, cock so fucking hard it’s aching. Pulsing so pitifully for you and if he weren’t so completely distracted by how you taste he’d throw caution to the wind and fuck into you right now.

“Gojo! Oh–” His name comes out all broken, ruined and shaky from how he laps at your cunt, drinking down all your slick.

Your elbows officially give out and you’re flopping back onto the mattress, fingers digging into the bed. Struggling to hold in all the little noises he’s pulling from you, hips trying to desperately rut into his pretty face with no luck, locked in place by his strong hold.

Gasping out at him, “M–more. Gojo – hah – more, please.”

Grunting against you, vibrations running up your spine, wanting desperately to kick your legs against the stimulation but unable to. He’s worked you up so much, so fucking desperate for release that his touch is making you crazy.

A finger presses at your hole, slipping inside easily, both his finger and tongue fucking into you. Another finger added, opening you up, scissoring them, tongue sneaking deeper inside your cunt.

He feels drunk, head heavy and brain foggy, tongue fucking you deeply. Delighting in the sounds of your sloppy pussy trying to suck him in deeper, he’s losing his mind. Tongue leaving you only for him to spit onto your cunt, thumb rubbing it into your clit, third finger added to the first two. Determined to have you ready for his cock.

“Need you to cum,” he sounds wrecked even to himself, “Before I do in my own pants – ffffuck –” Can’t help the way he curses at how you tighten around him at his words, “Must’ve been telling the truth about liking my voice, huh?” He teases, laughing breathlessly at how you react to him again.

Pressing out a simple, “S–so mean,” in response.

“You fucking like it,” eyes watching how your back arches off the mattress, “Love it even,” he reminds.

A series of moans leave you unabashedly at how he crooks his fingers just right, consistently hitting the one spot, thighs twitching at it. Stomach pulling tight and toes curling, head moving from side to side, so fucking close now.

“That’s it, sweetie,” he encourages, “Doing so good, just let go for me.”

You’re cumming suddenly, the abruptness of it shocking, like your body skipped the rest of the build up at Gojo’s words. If it didn’t feel good how he was fucking you through it, how his thumb kept rubbing at your clit, you’d feel beyond embarrassed at how you came just because he asked you to.

It’s not lost on him how quick you were to finish after he spoke, his ego big before and now fucking massive. Absolutely thrilled by how you continue to prove your responsiveness to him, if he were ever worried about you not being attracted to him, he can’t possibly remember why. Not when you’re squirming under him, tears threatening to slip from your waterline.

“Such a good direction follower,” he mocks, repeating his earlier sentiments.

His fingers keep stroking at you until your body goes limp, only jerking every now and again with your come down. Pulling them from you and parting them, looking at the way your cum connects his fingers together with white strings.

“Look at that,” his voice dripping with glee, “I was right… got such a creamy pussy,” he hums, shoving his fingers into his mouth.

He wipes his spit covered fingers on your thighs before standing, tugging off his pants and boxers before crawling up the mattress, leaning over you. Fingers skimming at your sides, pulling your shirt along with it, “Can I take this off, pretty?”

Eyes bleary when they meet his, giving a small nod, “Mhm.”

“You okay to keep going?” He checks, leaning in closer to you.

His concern makes you unreasonably happy, feeling genuinely cared for, “Yeah.”

“You sure–”

Cutting him off, “–Yes.”

Shock present on his face before smiling endearingly at you, completely smitten with you and has been for a long time now. It all feels a little surreal to him, being able to hold you, be intimate with you. Leaning in more, pressing soft kisses all over your face.

Showering you in affection as his hands continue to pull your shirt up. Only parting to pull it from you fully, thrown to some corner of your room, joining the rest of your clothes. Shuffling back so he can look at all of you, hands delicately tracing over you, like he’s memorising how you feel under his palms.

“You’re so soft,” he mumbles, hands smoothing over you. He drops onto you, face pressing between your tits, breathing in your scent.

Confused as your voice calls for him gently, “‘Toru?”

“Fuck,” he nips at your skin first and then moves to get back on his knees, “Alright, spread those pretty legs for me, sweetheart.”

Feeling placid from the intensity of your orgasm, you immediately listen to him and open your legs, moving them to the outside of his. Gojo feels like his heart grows in size at how quick you are to listen to him, so docile you don’t even talk back to him.

Your head cocks to the side at him, confused by his stare, “What?”

“Nothing,” he shakes his head at you, “You’re just really cute.”

He grabs your face, sandwiching your cheeks between his fingers, his lips leaving behind a big and sloppy kiss on yours before focusing back on your cunt. Grasping his cock and groaning at the pressure, squeezing himself to alleviate some of the need crawling desperately up his spine.

You can’t help but stare, he wasn’t full of it, he really is that big. Long and thick and looking so painfully hard, dripping precum so messily down the length of himself, dribbling down onto the bed sheets.

“It’s rude to stare,” he hisses, hand now stroking himself, clearly not even a little bit put off by your shameless staring. If anything, completely aroused by it.

Looking up into his eyes as you apologise, “‘M sorry.”

“Hah,” he huffs in amusement, “So polite all of a sudden, orgasm that good, pretty?”

“Yeah,” you nod, staring at him straight on, aiming to work him up more.

It works, “Fuck– alright,” his hips stutter into his hand and he stops fisting his cock, “‘Bout to give you an even better one,” guiding his dick to your core.

Swiping the head of himself through your folds, letting it collect the slick leaking from you. Teasing you like this for a bit, moving himself up and down before dipping into your hole, only to pull away again.

You whine at him over it, “Please.”

Smile large as he coos, “Don’t worry, pretty. I’ll take care of you.”

Keeping his word, he slowly presses the tip of his dick into you, hissing at the stretch, worried he didn’t give you enough prep. You bite your lip as you begin to take him in, fisting the sheets below, looking up at Gojo. His brows are upturned, and his jaw clenched, focusing so hard on being slow and careful. He pauses when you clench and flinch around him.

“I can take it,” gaze determined as you try to assure him, “You can keep going.”

“Oh, sweetie,” his hand grips at your inner thigh, squishing it under his hold, “I appreciate that,” he smiles, “I do… but you’re gonna want to pace yourself.”

You pout up at him, sulking, wanting to be full and not appreciating his probably – definitely – sound advice.

“Hah, don’t pout,” his thumb moves to your clit, “You’ll take it, know you will,” rubbing circles into it, “Cause I’m gonna make sure of it, but you gotta pace yourself.”

Under his touch, you relax again, and he pushes his hips forward, starting the slow process of opening you up on his cock. His control astounding himself right now, wanting nothing more than to fuck into you completely, feeling your pussy swallow him whole.

He’s not quite half-way yet and already pressing up against the most delicious spots inside you, with that and his consistent pressure on your clit, you’re suddenly so fucking close to cumming like this.

Reaching out to him, your hand lightly slaps at him, trying to warn, “I’m gonna – hah –”

Gojo realises when you clench down on him what you’re trying to say, the small noises you make getting louder, he almost blows his load the second he realises. Ripping himself from you suddenly, you cry out at the loss, cumming around nothing, gasping into your hand.

“Why? Why?” you’re almost incoherent as you ask him.

“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart,” he keeps his thumb on your clit, trying to make up for the loss of his cock, “Would’ve cum if I hadn’t pulled out, wanna at least fuck you before I do.”

You glare at him, trying to convey how slighted you feel but he only seems to find it endearing, smiling at you over it. “I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry.”

Wasting no time, he fucks back into you, to where he was before he pulled out. Giving shallow thrusts as he keeps pressing forwards, breath stuttering at the small way he’s getting the friction he’s desperate for.

“Such a greedy cunt,” he murmurs, dick slipping deeper, “So quick to cum for me, sucking me in.”

“Gojo–” you whine at him, his words back to embarrassing you.

His voice cracks at how you refer to him, “–No, no, nono, what happened to ‘Toru?” Fucking deeper, so close to being balls deep.

“‘Toru, you’re–” cutting yourself off with a moan, he thrust the rest of the way in when you called to him, “–so deep.”

“Don’t I fucking know it,” he chuckles breathlessly, moving to press his body up against yours, craving the contact.

He’s pressed up against you completely, warm and strong, your legs loop around his waist and he slips in deeper. He groans at it, holding himself back, wanting you to adjust to all of him first. He nuzzles into your neck, leaving kisses and love bites against the sensitive skin there, relishing in the way your pussy jumps around him over such a small act.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you liked me or something,” he jokes, referencing how sensitive you are to him.

Without thinking, you admit, “I have – mmph – I’ve liked you mm–multiple times ah– at different points in – hah – our lives.”

His head snaps back as he twitches inside you, “Seriously?” When you nod, he grinds down into you, “Fuck– had me so stressed, liked you all this time and you’re telling me I could’ve had this pretty, little pussy so much sooner?”

You’re feeling a bit dazed, two orgasms deep and stretched so obscenely around him, cunt making wet noises just from the small way he’s grinding into you.

“When,” his words are hurried, when you look at him like he’s just said something in a different language, he asks again, “When have you liked me?”

“I don’t remember that, too many – hnn – different times,” you shake your head, you don’t even know if you could recount all the times you had feelings for him resurface even if you weren’t split open on his big dick.

He moans, starting to move his hips in shallow thrusts, “Enough that you – mmph – can’t remember specifics,” he groans, “Feels like a sick joke, been pining after you our – hah – whole lives.”

His mouth is on yours, kissing you deeply, sucking your tongue into his mouth, licking at you. The kiss so dizzying, you’re barely able to catch up to him before he’s talking again, “The most recent time– can you – hah – remember the most recent time you liked me?”

He’s desperate to know, wanting to know how small or big of a window he had missed. Failing to realise it doesn’t really matter all that much right now.

“Not – hah – not that long ago,” you’re almost panting now, wanting for him to move with more urgency but he’s still only thrusting into you shallowly.

“When, sweetie, tell me when, please,” his forehead pressed to yours, eyes imploring.

Struggling slightly as you press out, “B– before I started – hah – going on all those dates,” you’re trying really hard to think, “Beginning of the – hng – year?”

Smiling at you, big, happy, “Not that long ago, just gonna make you like me again.”

He’s a little annoyed that you went on so many dates right after having liked him, not completely lost on him that the two are probably connected and feeling frustrated that he hadn’t just told you about his feelings ages ago.

“Gonna charm the fuck outta you, take you to nice places, shower you in compliments, tell you how cute you are,” he’s rambling now, about your theoretical future dates, “Remind you every day how much I like you, how perfect you are, gonna make you like me again.”

“I’d like it if you moved, ‘Toru, please,” you beg, tears in the corners of your eyes from being teased.

“Since you asked so nicely,” he quips, kissing your cheek before complying.

Finally starting a pace that has you going crazy but in a different way, fast and deep, weighted thrusts that make you struggle to maintain focus. Pulling out almost completely before fucking back into you, hammering his hips into yours, lewd squelching filling the room at it.

Your whimpered moans have Gojo’s skin pricking, so turned on he feels insane, like you might kill him, “Got such a great pussy, fucking soaking wet, taking me so well, could die like this and not complain, fuck–”

Clawing at him now, at his forearms, his biceps, shoulders, back, anywhere you can reach, desperately scrabbling for purchase. “Gojo–”

“–No, I don’t know who that is,” he ignores your cry of his name.

Trying again, “‘Toru, want– I want–”

You’re not even entirely sure what you want or are asking for, but Gojo seems to know immediately. His hips moving faster, pelvis slapping into your clit every time he meets yours, cock hitting against your cervix in a way that hurts so fucking good.

Eyes rolling back in your skull with the pleasure, fat tears running down your face at it. Sex has never felt like this, is it meant to feel like this? Have you been doing it wrong? Or maybe he’s just insanely good at it, or maybe you just like him more than you were aware of.

“Feels– feels good, I–”

“Again? Fucking perfect, so perfect for me,” he sounds so excited, “Want it, want you to cum on me, cum all over my cock, fucking coat me in it.” It’s almost like he’s begging you for it.

Luckily for him, you really do like his voice, love how he talks to you and at his borderline begging, you’re cumming all over him. Cunt clenching down on him, sobbing out pitiful moans of his name as you cum. It’s coating him, just like how he asked for, creamy white ring at the base of his cock.

“Fuuck, that’s it, such a good girl,” your cunt jumps around his cock, and he laughs, “Oh? You liked that, should’ve called you a good girl sooner.”

Too dazed to fight him on his teasing, corners of your vision blurry and ears ringing, twitching pathetically under him. He doesn’t stop his thrusts, fucking into you harsher, more shallow, getting close to finishing himself.

Orgasm on the tip of his tongue, the thing that sends him over the edge is how you look up at him. Eyes fucked out and cheeks tear stained, whining out a small, “‘Toru, want it, please.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart,” his words are choked out, almost whining himself, balls heavy with how badly he wants to cum.

Thrusts faltering as he fucks into you the last few times, suddenly slamming his pelvis to yours, releasing all his cum inside you, painting your walls a pretty shade of white. Hips grinding into you as he finishes.

Fucked out whimpers of your name leaving him as he presses his head into the side of your neck. Biting down onto you, shocking you slightly, the pain unexpected, he lathes over it with his tongue.

He slumps down onto you, his weight too much, your hands push at him, “Too heavy.”

He hums out at you noncommittally but gets up, carefully slipping himself from you, not shy in how he stares at your pussy. At the way his cum gushes from it, the urge to fuck it all back inside you strong. He withholds though, seeing you’re clearly beyond fucked out. Next time, he promises himself.

Gone from you but not for too long, only leaving long enough to clean himself up and bring stuff back to clean you up. Wiping softly at your legs, cleaning you of his spend, “You look cute dripping with my cum,” he singsongs.

“Lewd,” you accuse, too tired to think of something more to say.

“Yeah…” he gets into bed by you, “But I’m certain you like that.”

You snuggle into his side, letting him cuddle you, “Not sleeping with you again until at least the third date.”

“I bet…” he looks down at you, lips hovering over yours, “…You’ll sleep with me after each of them.”

You go to scoff at him and deny it, but he kisses you, deep and imploring. Effectively shutting you up and as you let him kiss you how he likes, you realise, he might be right.

𝐀/𝐍: this got away from me, like it so often does, it was only meant to be a couple k of only smut but i am not normal so it turned into this! i hope you enjoyed <3 thank you for reading!

[⚠︎] — 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: do not reupload / repost / translate / plagiarise my works © all works are the intellectual property of lovelivision

[pedrospatch]

fall into temptation | three

Jackson! Joel Miller x Preacher’s Daughter Reader

series masterlist

summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Miller’s attention—it just had to be one of the goddamned preacher’s daughters.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 56). several mentions of religion and religious symbols, reader has a father and two sisters, all who come with names, reader gets put into a a very uncomfortable situation, insecurity, anxiety, Seth is an asshole, protective Joel, he threatens to break someone’s jaw which is a warning in and of itself. SMUT. loss of virginity, reader is inexperienced but not totally clueless, oral (both m and f receiving), risky unprotected p in v sex (please wrap it up), lots of praise and pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, you know, the works), Joel gets a teensy bit rough, creampie, hint of aftercare, ends with a cliffhanger, but also not really if you think about it?

MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.

word count: 10k

a/n: it was not my intention to post this on jesus day, but here we are. this took forever and a day considering the second part was posted back in september, but i am so so proud of myself for finally completing a wip i could cry. i did a bulk of the editing while i’ve been sick and in all honesty i probably should have asked someone to beta for me because i think i coughed out like 90% of my brain cells this week, but i think it turned out okay. ish.

Somehow, even over the volume of the live music, you could still hear their hushed, astonished whispers.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“Is that Joel Miller with Pastor John’s daughter?”

“What’s she doing holding his hand?”

“He’s got to be at least twice her fucking age—”

Throat bobbing anxiously, you glanced up at Joel.

His shoulders were squared back, his head held high. 

Solid. Steady.

Joel couldn’t seem to care less about the bewildered stares, the judgment that was being flung his way. Not once did he seem to waver. But you?

Oh, you were already starting to crumble underneath it all, on the verge of falling apart right before everyone’s prying eyes. Shame sat heavily inside of your chest, the weight of the feeling suffocating you, making it harder and harder to breathe as it prevented air from reaching your lungs.

It had nothing to do with Joel. Of course it didn’t. It had all to do with you and with who you were. Their beloved preacher’s sweet, innocent young daughter. 

His youngest daughter. 

Suddenly, the whispers were no longer whispers.

“Oh God, she’s not going home with him, is she?”

“That’s not right! Someone should say something!”

“Pastor John would never allow something like this.”

“Poor thing’s naive—she doesn’t know any better.”

Hot, stubborn tears of frustration glazed over your eyes and threatened to spill. It was as if you were a child who didn’t know any better, a gullible, clueless little girl with nothing in her brain who needed to be rescued—saved from the bad, bad man before he did bad, bad things to her.

Had it been anyone else, no one would have batted an eye. No one would have noticed, let alone cared. But it was you that Joel Miller was leaving the bar with in the middle of the night and it was you whose hand he had clasped in his own. That is what made it wrong. That is why it was a problem.

Everyone’s concerns had nothing to do with him at all, they had everything to do with you. You, you, you. You were the sole reason why it was a problem, the reason why he was being perceived as the Devil himself, horns out as he dragged the poor little unsuspecting angel down to the fires of Hell.

“Joel?” Overwhelmed, you instinctively reached for his arm with your free hand. Cold and trembling, your little fingers curled tightly around his bicep, digging into the firm, bulging muscle through the thick corduroy fabric of his sleeve. You whispered his name again. “Joel—”

“S’alright, babygirl,” he reassured you quietly over his shoulder. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “S’alright. Just keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You just keep on lookin’ right at me, okay?”

Nodding, you inhaled deeply and focused on him. Only him. The broadness of his back and his shoulders. Tufts of hair that curled over the collar of his shirt. Only him. He’s what mattered. He’s all that mattered.

“Almost there,” Joel murmured, squeezing your hand again as the door came into view. “Breathe, baby. We’re almost there. I’ve got you. You’re alright. Ain’t gonna let anythin’ bad happen to you. Promise I’ve got you.”

It wasn’t until his fingers wrapped around the old, brass handle that you finally exhaled the breath you had been holding out in utter relief, though it was very, very short lived. Just as Joel pulled the door open, you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Dry, slender fingers dug into the soft flesh above your elbow as an attempt, and a feeble one at that, was made to tear you out of Joel’s grasp.

The music stopped and the bar fell silent. Everything and everyone came to a sudden standstill, freezing mid dance, mid drink, mid bite, mid gossip.

Shocked, you glanced over your shoulder. “Seth?” you squeaked his name. “What—what are you doing?”

Seth didn’t acknowledge you. His focus was on Joel.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Miller?”

Joel’s anger couldn’t be seen, but it could be felt. So palpable you could have wrapped your fingers around it. It radiated off of him and loomed over the entire bar like an incoming storm cloud. Threatening. Dangerous.

“Where are you taking her?” Seth demanded, his other hand curling around your wrist as he tried, but failed, to snatch you from Joel’s side once more. “Let the girl go! You let her go right now, you hear?”

Caught in between the two men, you nervously turned to look at Joel. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched, seething eyes that did the talking for him. His message was loud and oh so abundantly clear.

If Seth didn't take his hands off you, he wasn’t going to have any hands.

Not after Joel Miller was through with him.

Blazing heat flooded your face. As if it couldn’t possibly get any worse, everyone had now gathered around you to watch the tense encounter, eyes wide, brows raised and jaws practically on the weathered, hardwood floor.

Tommy Miller stood among the crowd, subtly shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a tight, thin line of disapproval as he glowered at his older brother. Would he be looking at Joel like that had it been Esther in your place? If she was the one he was taking home? Would any of this be happening if it was her instead of you?

“Seth.” Uttering his name, you shifted your attention back to him. You sounded calm and collected, despite feeling anything but. Joel’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you steady and grounded. His touch was the only reason you hadn’t yet spiraled into a state of panic. Clearing your throat lightly, you spoke again and tried your hardest not to waver. “Please let go of me.”

Still fixed on Joel, he spat, “I’ll be damned if I let him take you anywhere.”

“He’s not taking me anywhere, Seth.” Without thinking, the words came tumbling out of your mouth—loud and clear for everyone in that room to hear. “He isn’t forcing me to go with him. I’m making the choice to leave with him. Out of my own volition. Please let go of me.”

Finally, Seth looked at you. His old, worn features were twisted in disbelief. “What?”

You swallowed dryly. Part of you wanted you to shrink away, curl into yourself. Instead, you straightened your posture, forced yourself to stand a little bit taller. Willed yourself to have a backbone for once in your life.

“You heard me,” you said, lifting your chin in defiance. Several onlookers gasped in surprise at your rebellion. Where had this insolence come from? “I’m choosing to leave with Joel. Now, please let go of my arm.”

Behind you, Joel stood silent and still. 

Watching. Observing. Waiting.

He wanted nothing more than to intervene. Rip you out of Seth’s hands and shatter each and every last bone in all ten of his fingers for putting them on you. Had Joel not realized that this was probably the first time in your whole, entire life you’d mustered up the courage to use your voice, he would have easily given into the urge. He wanted to protect you. He needed so badly to protect you. Yet, he knew you weren’t helpless or incapable of standing on your own two feet. He knew you deserved the chance to stand up and speak for yourself after a lifetime of being silenced, a lifetime of being forced to stay in your place, seen but never heard.

“Seth, let go of my arm,” you repeated. It was no longer a polite request. It was a demand.

He scoffed. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you leave with somebody like him? You think I’m just going to stand back and let him take advantage of you?”

Oh, you hadn’t liked that insinuation, not one bit. 

It caused something inside of you to finally give way.

Snap.

The blood in your veins boiled, ran hot enough to make you feel like you were about to burn from the inside out. “Joel isn’t taking advantage of me! It isn’t like that,” you seethed, furiously. The quiet, well mannered, obedient good girl everyone in Jackson knew was gone. And she could stay gone. In your periphery, you could see Leah elbowing her way through the sea of people to the front of the crowd with an incredulous look plastered on her face. She stood there beside Tommy, who appeared to be just as incredibly bewildered by your outburst. “Don’t treat me like I’m some child who doesn’t know any better! I’m an adult and I’m old enough to make my own choices, okay?”

For a moment, you had forgotten it was Seth standing there in front of you.

“I’m capable of making my own decisions! I don’t need you to dictate my life. I don’t need you to tell me what is and isn’t good for me—controlling what I should and shouldn’t believe in.” Your voice trembled as emotions you’d been suppressing for years bubbled their way up to the surface. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Joel squeeze your hand again, as if silently encouraging you not to lose your nerve. He was your anchor, the only person who could keep your world from capsizing. You knew he wouldn’t let you drown. Not even God, who you had always been forced to believe was your pillar of strength, had ever made you feel this protected. Safe. “I don’t need you to tell me how to live and much less when it’s the end of the world.”

It wasn’t Seth you were addressing.

It was your father.

Your father, who controlled every last thing, from what you would eat to the way that you dressed and how you wore your hair.

Your father, who refused to let you have a mind of your own, who simply could not bear the mere thought of you thinking for yourself.

Your father, whose love felt like shackles, heavy, rusted metal restraints that had been digging into the flesh of your wrists for far, far too long.

“You need to let me go now,” you said, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Once more, you caught Leah from the corner of your eye, your heart lurching in your chest when you noticed her desperately trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was the only person in the room who understood how you felt. Her rebelliousness only ever masked the pain of knowing her father’s love came with terms and conditions—and the fear of knowing what would happen if those terms and conditions weren’t met. For several weeks, you’d gotten a taste of what she went through everyday, how her fear of putting her foot down led her to run around in secret and live a double life. “Just let me go.”

Seth firmly shook his head. “No! I’m not letting you go anywhere with him. I don’t know what the hell he did to you, but he’s clearly got you all fucking brainwashed.”

That was fucking enough. Joel stepped in, lowering his voice as he said, “Y’know, I’ve just ‘bout lost count of how many fuckin’ times she’s asked you to let her go now and it’s really startin’ to piss me off.” Raising an eyebrow, he laid his offer out on the table. “Here’s the deal. You let go of her right now and I won’t shatter your fuckin’ jaw into pieces. That seem fair enough to you?”

“No.” Seth gripped your arm even harder, prompting you to let out a little yelp as his nails dug painfully into your skin. Though it’d been accidental and he hadn’t meant to hurt you, it didn’t matter. He’d just set off the ticking time bomb that was Joel Miller.

Furious, Joel snatched a fistful of his shirt with his free hand—the other still held yours. Gentle, despite being mere moments away from beating someone to within an inch of their life.

“Joel! Stop!” Tommy’s voice broke through the tension as he approached. His footsteps were slow—careful and cautious, as if he was afraid to make any kind of sudden movement. “Joel. Hey. C’mon now, let’s not do this, alright? Ain’t gotta handle things this way. We can talk it through. No need for anyone to wind up bleedin’ in the fuckin’ infirmary tonight, so just take a breath and let him go.”

Blatantly ignoring Tommy’s attempt to keep the peace, Joel tugged Seth forward, yanking him closer. “Listen to me and listen to me good ‘cause I ain’t gonna fuckin’ say it again. You’d best take your fuckin’ hands off her right now unless you wanna spend the rest of the night sweepin’ up your teeth off the floor of your own fuckin’ bar,” he threatened, his tone enough to send a chill up anyone’s spine, even your own.

“You wouldn’t dare, Miller.” Somehow, Seth managed to keep a straight face, but you could see it so clearly in his eyes and in the tremble of his lower lip—oh, he was terrified of Joel and rightly so. “Not in front of all these people. Not in front of your brother. That wouldn’t be a smart move considering you’re already on thin fucking ice for what you did to that boy’s face, now would it?”

Joel tugged him closer. “Test me,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Go on. Fuckin’ test me.”

His challenge was immediately met with a pathetic look of defeat. Seth dropped your arm and he was released.

“S’what I fuckin’ thought.” Without another word to the man, Joel whirled around and roughly pulled the door open, leading the way outside. As you both descended the building’s old, creaking wooden steps, you began to shiver and he suddenly remembered he’d left his jacket behind inside the bar. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “C’mere, my little dove,” he murmured as he tucked you against his side for warmth. “I’ve got you.”

The first thing he did was light the fireplace.

“Should start warmin’ you up, sweet girl,” he’d said to you over his shoulder. He tossed a log into the blaze as you sat perched on his couch rubbing your bare arms with your hands. “M’gonna go upstairs and find you a blanket, alright? You stay put.”

“Okay,” you’d mumbled, knowing there was no point in telling him not to fuss over you.

Even with the soft, fleece throw blanket he had draped around your shoulders and the warmth of the flames in front of you, you continued trembling. Subtle, but he’d noticed it, felt it when he had sat down beside you and pulled you close against his side. “Oh baby, you’re still shakin’?” That was when he realized you weren’t cold. Frowning, Joel rose to his feet and disappeared down the hallway. He came back to the living room a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. With a small, labored grunt, he dropped to one knee in front of you and held it out. “Here.”

“No, thank you.” You shook your head. “I’m not thirsty.”

“Maybe not, but I’m kinda worried you could be in a bit of shock right now,” he stated, the creases in between his brows deepening as he observed you for any other physical signs of distress. Carefully, Joel lifted the glass to your lips, gently coaxing you to take a drink. “C’mon, darlin’. Think you can be a real good girl for me and at least take a couple sips? Hm?”

Sighing softly, you nodded and did as he asked of you, taking a small sip of water. It soothed your dry mouth and throat and you took another one. Maybe you were thirsty after all.

“Little more, now. Little more. That’s it. That’s my good girl.” Once he was satisfied with how much you’d had to drink, Joel set the half empty glass down on the oak coffee table behind him. He turned back to you, placing his large hands on either side of your thighs below the hem of your dress. He started tracing soft, soothing circles into your skin with his thumbs. “M’real proud of you for standin’ up for yourself back there, sweetheart. Took a whole lot of fuckin’ courage to do that, y’know.”

You glanced down at your hands in your lap. “Mhm.”

“Baby. Hey. Look at me.” One of his hands abandoned your leg and he reached up, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted your face upwards, his worried gaze meeting your own. “Talk to me. M’right here.”

“That—that was a lot,” you admitted meekly, shoulders sagging as the adrenaline started wearing off and your body slowly came down from the peak hormone rush. “It was a lot.”

Sighing, Joel’s hand fell away from your face. “Yeah, I know it was a lot, babygirl. I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No.” You were quick to cut him off. “Don’t be sorry.”

His chest heaved with another sigh, this one deeper, heavier, bearing the weight of his guilt. “Well I am,” he said. He planted his hands on either side of you on the couch and lightly shook his head. “Didn’t even fuckin’ think twice when I pulled you outta that fuckin’ supply closet and took your hand in front of all those people. I was so fuckin’ hellbent on showin’ everybody you were mine that I didn’t even stop and think ‘bout what all it would mean for you. It was selfish of me. Real fuckin’ selfish. And I’m sorry, little dove.”

“Do you regret it?” you asked, quietly.

Joel chuckled in spite of himself. “M’pretty sure I’m the one who should be askin’ you that question, darlin’,” he remarked. “Tell me. Do you regret it? Do you regret me pullin’ you outta that closet?” He momentarily paused. There was a stutter in his heartbeat when you dropped your gaze away from his, silence your only reply. “Do you regret me takin’ your hand in front of everyone?”

Of course not.

You wanted to be his and you wanted everyone to know it. There was no regret, none. 

Still. 

The consequences that you would undoubtedly have to face in the morning were overwhelming. Daunting.

Surely, by then, your father would know about you and Joel. When he came downstairs right after sunrise and he discovered you weren’t in the kitchen helping Lydia prepare breakfast, he would question where you were and make some kind of remark about how you should not be sleeping in this late. He would tell her just how irresponsible it was for you to ignore your duties and obligations to him and the family. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, after all. He would make her trek upstairs and wake you, and when she did, your sister would find your bed empty.

Meanwhile, there would be a knock at the front door.

No stranger to having members of the congregation show up on his doorstep when they were in need, be it of prayer or comfort, your father would answer it only to find someone, not in need of solace, but who felt that it was their responsibility and moral obligation to inform him that they had seen his youngest daughter leaving The Tipsy Bison with Joel Miller in the middle of the night, hand in hand.

He wouldn’t believe them.

“Now, that is simply not true,” he would say, offended that anybody would have the nerve to show up at his door and accuse you of something so vile. “That’s not possible. I know my daughter and she would never do such a thing. It must have been someone else that you saw with him. Someone who looked like her, perhaps.”

Then, Lydia would descend the staircase and tell him you weren’t in your bedroom. “She must have gone up to the main street as soon as she woke up,” she would suggest with a shrug, not yet privy to the events that had taken place the night before at the party you and Leah had snuck off to. She never had to worry about you, the good one. “I did notice we were running pretty low on eggs. Sugar, too. She probably wanted to be the first in line at the pantry to—Papa? What’s the matter?”

The color would drain from your father’s face when the realization slowly sank in. No, you weren’t out on the main street picking up eggs for breakfast and sugar for his tea. You were lying up in Joel Miller’s bed—defiled, impure, and with the curse of Eve on your flesh. Even after dedicating his entire life to making sure you did not stray from the path of righteousness, he had failed. You had fallen into temptation. 

There was a chance he would have mercy on you. All you had to do was beg and plead for his forgiveness—and more importantly, for the forgiveness of God. “Vow to atone for your sins,” your father would say, his gaze fixed on the Holy Bible in his lap. He probably wouldn’t be able to look at you, not after what you had done. “Repent. And swear to me, child, that you will never so much as glance in that man’s direction ever again.”

No. That’s not what you wanted.

You wanted Joel and the freedom to be with him. 

But that freedom came with a high, high price.

You were willing to pay it, but you’d be lying if you said you were prepared to navigate the consequences. Then again, was there really any way for someone to prepare themselves to be shunned by their own father?

“I can take you home,” Joel offered quietly, the sound of his voice taking you out of the future and bringing you back into the present.

“What?”

“I can take you home,” he repeated himself. “I can take you home right now if that’s what you want, sweet girl. Won’t give you any kinda grief ‘bout it.”

Confused, all you could do was stare at him.

“Listen to me, baby. You mean a lot to me. More than I can even begin to explain,” Joel reassured you before any kind of doubt could find its way into your mind. “I want you to stay with me. There’s nothin’ on what’s left of this fuckin’ earth I want more than for you to stay here with me. But what you want matters to me a hell of a lot more than what I want.” He reached up, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “If you decide you wanna go home and go back to your family—back to your old man—then that’s where I’ll take you. Okay?”

Your father would give you an ultimatum. But Joel? He was giving you a choice. And he’d respect that choice.

“I wanna free you from your cage, my little dove. But I think we both know you’ve gotta make the choice to fly outta there on your own.” He lightly swept his thumb over your quivering bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours as he whispered, ���Door’s wide open for you. What you do next is all up to you.”

“I’m afraid, Joel,” you confessed. A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and rolled its way down the side of your face. He was quick to wipe it away, along with the others that followed. “I do want out of my cage. I really, really do. But I’m terrified. All I have ever known is my family and my faith. I have never been apart from my father and my sisters.”

His expression softened. “I know you’re scared. Can’t promise you things will be easy, but there is one thing I can promise you.”

“What’s that?” you questioned, then waited with baited breath.

He gingerly cupped your cheek in his large palm. “I’ve got you,” he swore to you, just like he had done so back at the bar. “If you decide to stay, I promise I’ll take real, real good care of you, alright? For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. You won’t ever have to worry ‘bout a thing with me by your side. Swear it on my life.”

Warmth blossomed in your heartspace and finally, you stopped trembling. Lifting a hand, you curled your fingers around his wrist as your gaze fell to his mouth. “Joel?”

“What is it, darlin’ girl?”

“Kiss me. Please.”

With a gentle nod, Joel’s other hand found your hip, the warmth of it seeping through the cotton fabric of your dress. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against yours. It was a chaste thing, soft and innocent until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to you. “Babygirl,” he mumbled against your lips. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue through your parted lips and into your mouth. He tasted like bold bourbon and citrus beer. There was a faint hint of tobacco too—you recalled him admitting to you one night in the church house that while he wasn’t all that much of a smoker, at least not like he used to be when living in the zones, he would occasionally partake in the habit if he happened to come across a pack of cigarettes while out on patrol, pairing the nicotine with a drink. He tasted delicious. He tasted delicious because he tasted like yours.

You sank back into the worn, supple brown leather of his couch, tugging him forward so he sank in with you. Over you. Releasing your near death grip on his collar, you managed to wedge your hands in between your bodies and began to claw furiously at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking out of pure desperation to feel him. It wasn’t until you were halfway down that he finally noticed what you were doing and leaned back, catching both of your wrists.

“Baby, wait,” he panted, shaking his head. “Don’t think now’s a good time for that—”

“Joel, please,” you pleaded, the intense ache between your thighs almost too much for you to bear. “Please. I want it. I want you.”

“S’been a rough night for you.” Joel’s voice was hoarse—strained, like he was aching just as much, if not more. “You’re real emotional right now. Vulnerable. Last thing I want is to take advantage of you at a time like this.”

You frowned. Had Seth’s words gotten into his head?

“You’re not taking advantage of me.”

“Darlin’ I just don’t think we should—”

“Joel, please,” you begged him again. “I was so good for you, was I not? Wasn’t I patient, just like you asked me to be?”

His lips thinned into a tight line. He wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. You, his beautiful little temptress of Eden.

“I waited for so long,” you reminded him. “I’ve been so, so good for you. Please, just make me yours already. I don’t want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be with you. Please, Joel. I need you so badly it hurts.”

Christ.

No man could stand it. No man could possibly have the strength to deny you.

With a look of utter defeat, he folded. Before he could say another word or make another move, your greedy mouth was on his, and you kissed him with fervor, with urgency, as you finished the task of unbuttoning his shirt. Pushing it off of his shoulders, the corduroy fabric fell into a crumpled heap behind him, nearly knocking the glass of water off the coffee table. You broke away from him and shamelessly marveled at his mouth watering form—you admired the way miles of smooth, tanned skin stretched over his wide shoulders, broad chest and soft, soft belly. Arousal pooled between your legs and you reached out and raked your fingers down his chest, and over his stomach, going lower and lower, following the trail of coarse, dark hair that led you to his brown leather belt. You clumsily started fumbling with the brass buckle until he caught your hands once more.

“Slow down, my little dove,” he murmured. “No need to rush this. We’ve got all night.” He stood up and held his hand out to you. Time blurred a bit—maybe it was your nervousness mingled with the eager anticipation of what was to come, but there seemed to be a small gap in your memory, a blank space that spanned from the moment you rose off the couch until the moment you found yourself standing in his bedroom where you were about to answer to the call of the flesh.

Dropping your hand, Joel switched on the lamp on his bedside table and kicked off his boots before taking you into his arms. “C’mere, honey.” He nuzzled your cheek with the tip of his nose as he spoke, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheek. “Couple’a rules, sweet girl. I do somethin’ that you don’t like, you tell me. You want me to stop, you tell me to sto—”

Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the floor and knelt at his feet with purpose, as if kneeling before an altar, a sacred, holy space. Though you felt anxious, you were eager to worship. “I haven’t forgotten about what I said earlier tonight,” you cooed, noticing the mild look of surprise on his face. “I said I’d make it up to you and I intend on keeping my word.”

All the blood in his body rushed south to his cock and it strained painfully against the crotch of his jeans. “Baby, I—” Again, he was cut off, only this time by the sound of his own groan when your hand brushed up the front of his thigh and over his growing bulge. He glanced down, his heart thrumming painfully hard against his sternum as he watched you reach for his belt buckle.

With all your might, you willed your hands so as not to tremble. It was self-explanatory, what you were about to do, but your total lack of experience sowed seeds of doubt into your mind—you wanted to make him feel good, just like he had made you feel good outside of the church house during services. Just how you knew he would make you feel tonight.

Hand still over his buckle, you pressed the tenderest of kisses to his bulge through his jeans. Then, turning your head, you rested your cheek on one of his thick, blue denim clad thighs and peered up at him through your eyelashes with a small, nervous smile as you confessed what he already knew. “I’ve never done this before.”

Oh, how sweet and endearing you were. Joel reached down and smoothed your hair back and away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “S’alright, honey,” he crooned, grazing the silkiness of your cheek with his index finger. “I’ll walk you through it. Teach you how to be a real good girl and suck my cock just the way I like it. That what you want, my little dove?”

His filth made your cunt clench hard around nothing.

Slowly lifting your head off of his thigh, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and managed a clear, consenting nod as your hands fumbled with his buckle, the clinking sound of metal ringing loudly in your ears. You undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper, your throat drying when you saw the outline of him, his size intimidating even behind the cotton fabric of his faded, black boxer briefs.

With a harsh swallow, you glanced up at him, silently asking him for his permission to continue.

Such a polite little thing, Joel thought to himself. “Go on, sweetheart,” he encouraged.

You tugged his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and hooked your index fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them down and freeing his cock. There was a deep, swooping sensation in your belly as you watched it slap up against the lower part of his abdomen. After many nights of sitting in his lap, feeling him through his clothes, grinding your cunt down onto him, you thought you’d at the very least had an idea of what you would be in for, but oh, how wrong you had been. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined, and your stomach swooped again when you realized he was not going to fit. Anywhere.

Licking away the dryness of your lips, you take him in one of your hands, feeling the heaviness of his length in your palm. He was so long and so, so thick.

“Oh fuck,” Joel hissed the curse through gritted teeth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as your touch sent a charged jolt of electricity shooting up the length of his spine. He looked down at you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Christ. You hadn’t even done anything to him yet, but seeing you sitting so prettily at his feet was almost enough to make him come on the spot.

Delicately wrapping your hand around him, you found yourself almost in awe at the way your fingertips barely, just barely, touched. The sheer size of his cock dwarfed your hand, and made it seem so much smaller than it really was.

“You’re so big,” you murmured, echoing your thoughts. You licked at your lips again, suddenly feeling ravenous, an appetite that had seemingly come out of nowhere making you salivate. The tip of him was flushed red, slit already glistening—how badly you wanted, needed a taste. Never, ever, did you think you would be down on your knees for anything but prayer, but there you were, starved and desperate to bite into the forbidden fruit.

“What’re you waitin’ for, darlin’ girl?” he croaked.

“Permission,” you replied, sweetly.

“Go right ahead, baby. S’all yours—I’m all yours.”

Yours.

Yours, yours, yours.

Finding your first push of courage, you leaned forward and so carefully swept your tongue along the tip of his length, collecting the slight saltiness leaking from the slit and getting your first delectable taste. With your hand still wrapped firmly around his base, you looked up, your eyes locked on Joel’s face as you flicked your tongue up against the rigid underside of his cock.

“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel groaned, all of the muscles in his stomach already pulling taut when he felt you dragging your tongue in a slow, purposeful lick along the length of him. “Babygirl.”

“Is that good?” you asked him, sounding hopeful. “Am I doing good?”

“Doin’ so, so fuckin’ good for me, sweetheart. Look so fuckin’ pretty down on your knees for me.”

Pleased, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his length, pressing forward and taking him in as far as you possibly could—which, in all fairness, wasn’t very far. At least not as far as you would have liked. Another groan tore itself from the depths of his chest as your plush, plump lips sealed around him, your tongue warm and wet on the underside of his cock. Moving both of your hands to rest on the sides of his thighs, you began to move your head back and forth, following what felt most natural to you. The nerves you initially felt slowly but surely dissipated, vanishing one by one with every curse, every tremble, every sharp breath.

Joel resisted the urge to buck his hips forward, fought the desire to feel himself at the back of your throat. He needed to be gentle, so careful with such an innocent, pliant thing who had much, much to learn. “Sweet little fuckin’ mouth feels so good around my cock, baby, just like I fuckin’ knew it would. Y’think it can take more of me, little dove? Hm?”

You hummed, the vibration intensifying his pleasure.

“Yeah? Y’trust me?”

Your reply came in the form of a muffled, “Mhm.”

Joel reached down and cradled the back of your head in the palm of his hand. He carefully guided you further onto his throbbing length, slowly feeding you one inch at a time. Your fingers dug into the denim of his jeans. He was much more than a mouthful for you, and you could only take about half of him before he hit the back of your throat, prompting you to gag around him. Drool dribbled out from the corners of your mouth and down the sides your chin, dripping onto your lap.

“Oh fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, that’s it. Little more now, honey,” Joel encouraged. He bucked his hips forward, his head slipping further down your throat. Just when you felt like you were about to choke, he pulled out and you tried your hardest not to cough and sputter as you took in a much needed, precious breath of air. He gave you a few seconds or so to finish catching your breath as he shoved his jeans and boxer briefs further down his legs. He stepped out of the articles of clothing and kicked them somewhere off to the aside, standing before you completely bare. “Open up.”

Your absolute devotion to him bred sweet submission, so as worried as you were that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you nodded obediently and very willingly did as you were told. 

He guided himself right back into your waiting mouth, pressing deeply. You tried to relax your jaw, reminding yourself to breathe in and out through your nose. Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you did your best to forestall another gag. “Little bit more,” he said, thrusting his hips in a slow, steady controlled rhythm. He advanced even further into your mouth—trusting he wouldn’t suffocate you, nor push you too far past your limits, you opened up wider. He moaned, “Yeah, baby. That’s my good girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl.”

With a bit of newfound confidence, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him. You swiped your tongue along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock, earning yourself more of his sweet, sweet praise.

“Fuck, yeah, suck me off, sweetheart. This pretty little mouth was fuckin’ made for sin,” he breathed, guiding your head back and forth with a firm, but gentle hand.

You moaned, the noise muffled around his length. Slick soaked through your panties and coated the insides of your thighs. With another moan, you tightly squeezed your legs together, inwardly reminding yourself that patience was a virtue.

Noticing the way you had shifted, Joel moved his hand from the back of your head, lightly curling his fingers around your jaw. He pulled you off of his cock, a loud, lewd popping sound bouncing off the sage green walls of his bedroom. “C’mere, baby.” He grabbed your arms, effortlessly hoisting you up to your feet.

“What’s wrong?” you questioned him worriedly. “Did I do something wrong?”

Chuckling softly, he brushed a finger along the strap of your dress. You could do no wrong, his perfect, perfect girl. “Of course not, sweet girl. You did so fuckin’ good for me,” Joel reassured you, lightly tracing along your collarbone with his finger and making your flesh erupt in goosebumps. He leaned forward and feathered a kiss onto your lips, murmuring against them, “Are you wet, little dove?”

Before you could even process the query and generate some kind of coherent response, he dove his opposite hand between your thighs, cupping your warm heat in his palm. At this, your weak knees buckled, prompting you to reach out and grab onto his arms to hold steady and keep yourself from falling into a helpless heap on the floor.

“Oh, honey. You’re soaked. That what sucking my cock does to you?” he cooed. He peppered another kiss, this one onto the corner of your mouth. His voice lowered another octave. “Poor little thing. She needs me, don’t she? Needs me to take care of her?”

You whimpered. “Yes.”

“Manners, babygirl,” he reminded you, skimming your cheek with his nose. “Yes, what?”

“Yes, please.”

Humming in approval, Joel withdrew his hand from in between your legs and guided you backwards towards his bed. “Sit,” he commanded gently, bidding you to let go of him. “Arms up.”

Reaching for the hem of your dress, he took great care in pulling it over your head, then discarded the vibrant yellow material over his shoulder, leaving you in nothing but your cowboy boots and thin, cotton white panties. Without a word, he knelt before you and pulled off one boot, and then the other, setting them both aside. He hooked two fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your underwear, coaxing you to lift your bottom off of the bed, just long enough for him to pull them down and slide them down your legs. He was so tender in the manner in which he undressed you.

“Fuckin’ beautiful, beautiful girl,” Joel praised. His dark gaze dragged down the length of your body as you sat before him wearing nothing but the delicate, gold chain around your neck. The holy cross nestled between your supple breasts gleamed in the light of the lamp on the nightstand. He would leave it on until your decision was made, set in stone. “My pretty little dove.”

“Joel.” You whimpered his name, hands curling around fistfuls of his dark blue sheets. You were drenched now, in dire need of some relief. If he didn’t touch you where you needed him most, you would surely lose your mind.

Desperate, you leaned back slightly onto his bed and parted your knees, your folds glistening as you showed him just how badly you needed him.

Joel groaned, almost visibly salivating at the sight. The blazing heat in his eyes sent ripples of desire coursing through your body, straight to your throbbing core.

You opened wider. “Please.”

“Christ, babygirl. Already soakin’ the sheets.” Sliding a finger up along the seam of your pussy, he grazed your clit, the touch light, but somehow still enough to make your hips arch off the mattress as white-hot pinpricks of pleasure danced their way up your spine. He lowered his head and leaned in, your sweet scent drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Just when you were about to start pleading him for more, he dipped his face into the apex of your thighs, his mouth finally, finally, meeting your wet heat.

“Oh!” you gasped, your head falling back. “Fuck!”

Against you, his lips curled upwards into a wicked grin. He’d never heard you curse before, not until now.

Joel took his time devouring you, savoring the essence of your cunt with each broad stroke of his tongue. Sealing his lips around your clit, he flicked the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again, eliciting from you some of the sweetest noises that he had ever heard in his entire life. In preparation for what you both knew was to come, he pushed one finger inside of you, the invasion causing you to fist his sheets even harder. He then slipped in a second finger, groaning in sheer, carnal bliss at how your walls squeezed them, at the mere thought of them squeezing his cock in the same manner. How was it that you felt so much tighter this time around?

“Oh God.”

You shouldn’t be saying His name. Not like this.

Not when something this sinful was being done to you.

Hungrily, Joel lapped at you, curling both of his fingers in an upwards motion to hit the perfect spot. He knew you were close, felt it in the way that you squirmed and writhed. Draping his arm across your hips, he pinned them down onto the bed, holding you still as he chased your high as if it were his own.

“Joel,” you chanted his name over and over again in a fevered prayer. Releasing the sheets, your hands found his hair, tangling themselves in his curls. Your head fell back, and you cursed at the ceiling of his bedroom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Joel—”

Pushing onto his mouth, you came, moaning his name so loudly you were certain the whole neighborhood was getting an earful.

Joel pulled back, his beard and mustache slicked with your spend. “S’right, honey,” he crooned, his digits still buried to the knuckle as he helped you to ride out your wave of ecstasy. Eventually, when he pulled them out, you tried closing your shaking legs. He tsked and shook his head, wrenching them open further. “No, no, baby. Keep those pretty thighs open for me. Wanna see her.” He admired his work, his cock twitching at the sight of your pussy, swollen and shining, and ready to take him.

Like earlier, there was another brief skip in time.

Mind still in a haze, you hadn’t even realized that he’d risen to his feet and guided you further up onto his bed, not until you were lying on your back with your head on his pillow and he was hovering over you, his hard length brushing against one of your messy, inner thighs when he settled himself between your legs. 

Your heart began to pound in a mingle of both fear and excitement.

Joel’s eyes met yours. His pupils were blown so wide, there was not one, single trace of brown anywhere to be seen. “Y’absolutely sure about this, little dove?”

Your response came without hesitation. “Yes. I’m sure.”

He pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw. Your submission was a gift, and he would cherish every last second of your surrender to him, savor it for as long as he possibly could. His lips, soft and warm, skimmed along the column of your throat, leaving a trail of fresh goosebumps in their wake.

If, by some chance, you decided that you wanted to go back to your father and to your faith, Joel didn’t know how he would find it in himself to let you go, not after this. Of course, he would have to let go, though.

The last thing he wanted was to help free you from one cage just to stick you right back into another. While he was no stranger to loss, he had to admit to himself that to lose you would be a knife to whatever was left of his heart.

Shoving the thought out of his mind, he reached down and gripped the base of his cock, pumping it in his fist before running the leaking head along your puffy lips, coating himself in your wetness with the hope it would ease some of the pain you were bound to feel. “Ready, babygirl?” he asked you, lightly teasing your entrance. “Might hurt a bit. M’gonna go slow. Just need you to relax for me, alright?”

“Okay.”

“I’ve got you,” he promised.

You nodded, saying softly, “I know.”

Though he knew he had all of your trust, Joel could still sense your anxiousness. He reached out for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his own as he gingerly pressed forward and eased himself into you, taking the very innocence you had been taught your entire life to preserve, one slow, careful inch at a time.

“Oh—Joel!” You cried loudly at the initial stretch, your pretty face scrunching in discomfort. Tightly slamming your eyes shut, sparks flew behind your eyelids when he finally bottomed out. The burning sting in between your thighs was too overwhelming, almost impossible to cope with. He felt so enormous within you, you could have sworn he was in your belly. Another broken cry fell from your lips and he swallowed it with a comforting kiss.

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed against your lips, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow, neck, and chest. He wasn’t sure where he found the strength, but he suppressed his urge to thrust. Instead, he dropped his face into the hollow of your neck and waited, giving you the chance to adjust to him. He mumbled against your skin. “Doin’ so good for me, sweet girl. Y’know that? You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”

Even in discomfort, you preened at his praise.

He squeezed your hand, and after a minute, he gave an experimental thrust of his hips—and then another and another before he ceased his movement once again. He was so big and you were so deliciously full of him.

Eventually, the pain subsided, and you found yourself asking, no, begging for more. “Move.” Your other hand found itself cupping the side of his face, coaxing him to lift his head and allowing your gazes to meet. Your soft, plush thighs parted further to help accommodate the breadth of his hips. “Please, Joel. I need you to move—I need you to fuck me.”

Surely, you would be the death of him.

He drew his hips back with cautious, tender care, then advanced in the same manner to fill your precious cunt all over again. He did it over and over, your pleasured moans encouraging him to begin picking up the pace. He drove his cock in and out of your weeping pussy, the slapping of flesh against flesh, the lewd, wet squelch of you around him inspiring him to fuck you harder, faster. And the noises you were making?

There was something oh so beautiful about your cries, sweet raptures of submission as you laid there beneath him, all too graciously taking everything he had to give you like the good, good, good girl you were for him.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” Joel rasped. “Look at you—look at the way you take my fuckin’ cock, honey.”

And you did.

Glancing down, your gaze fell between your bodies and you watched in awe, openly marveled at the way Joel slid in and out of your cunt, how he knocked hard so deeply inside of you, driving himself as far as he could possibly go.

“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna—” You tried warning him as the pressure in your belly neared its peak, but you tumbled over the edge before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. Arching up off off the bed, you pressed your chest against his, your fingers squeezing his own so hard you feared you might break them.

“That’s it babygirl, let go,” he grunted, speeding up his thrusts. “Squeeze my fuckin’ cock—just like that. Good girl. My perfect, perfect girl.”

You didn’t quite get the chance to let the praise sink in.

Joel pulled himself out of you, and with ease, he flipped you over onto your belly. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up off the mattress, his fingers moving to firmly knead the fleshiest part of your ass. He leaned over you, the head of his cock nudging at your hole. “Y’think you can handle a little bit more, sweetheart?” he whispered the question into a tumble of messy hair, the delicate scent of the lavender shampoo you used to wash it filling his senses. “Answer me, little dove.”

“Yes,” you replied breathlessly with a nod. “I can.”

With a satisfied hum, Joel sank into you, this second stretch not quite as overwhelming at the first, but still intense. “Relax,” he murmured, hunching further over your quivering back. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and then leaned down to brace his hands on either side of you. “Need you to be sweet for me just a bit longer, okay, baby?”

“God,” you whimpered when the heaviness of his balls came to rest on your sensitive clit.

It was the second time you’d uttered His name.

Joel almost grinned at the irony. He found his rhythm, groaning in gut-deep satisfaction with each snap of his hips—each smooth stroke in and each smooth stroke out.

“Oh fuck, sweet girl.” Heaven was indeed a real place, and Joel Miller was buried in it to the hilt, right at this very moment.

He was getting closer and closer.

Maybe it was your eagerness to help him reach his own release mingled with the pride you knew you would feel once you did that gave you a second wind, a fresh, new burst of energy. You planted your hands firmly on his pillow. Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you curved your spine and pushed back onto Joel with purpose, meeting his thrusts halfway as you rode his aching length to the satiation that waited for him at the end.

“There’s my girl,” he rasped. “Oh fuckin’ Christ—”

No way he could live his life without you now.

He needed you.

He needed you so much more than you needed him.

Joel slipped an arm around your shoulders, across your chest.

“Oh!” you gasped as he then yanked you back, pulling you flush against him. The rough crash of your back against his chest, combined with the angle in which he was fucking you knocked the wind out of your lungs.

His lips were at the shell of your ear. “Stay,” he panted, his breath hot against your cheekbone. He wrapped his other hand lightly around your throat. Relentless, were his hips now—his movements had become frantic. Desperate. “Stay with me, baby.”

Even as you fought to catch your breath in the position he had you in, you picked up on the fact that he wasn’t asking you of it, nor was he demanding you of it.

He was begging you.

Him, the most feared man in this town. Begging you?

“Joel,” you choked.

“Please, my little dove,” he pleaded, turning your head towards him. His mouth was then on the corner of your own, his beard roughly scratching the soft and delicate flesh of your cheek. “I need you, babygirl. Stay with me. Please, just fuckin’ stay with me.”

Your hands curled around his wrists. “Yes, I’ll stay,” you moaned. “I’m yours, Joel. I’m all yours. I—I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you.”

A low, guttural sound rumbled through his chest. Joel firmly took hold of your cross, and without so much as a warning, he ripped the chain from around your neck and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder. He heard it land on the hardwood floor with the tiniest, faint clink the moment he spilled into you, ropes of warm release coating your fluttering walls. Curses and groans spilled from his lips and into your neck. Your cunt clutched at his pulsing cock, greedy for every last drop of his spend she could get.  

Once you were filled, you both collapsed beside each other on the bed, heaving to catch a steady breath.

“Y’okay, sweetheart?” Joel managed to ask, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.

Exhausted, all you could do was nod and utter, “Mhm.”

He exhaled an amused huff through his nose. “C’mere.” He reached for you and pulled you against his side. He draped an arm around your shoulders, holding you as close to him as was possible. “Y’did so good, honey.”

Your mouth curled into a small, contented smile.

Several minutes had passed by, and despite telling him that you were too tired to even think about moving, Joel made you get up and use the bathroom, and while you did so, he ran a clean washcloth under warm water. “Here, darlin’. Let me clean you up,” he’d said, his lips meeting your forehead in a loving token of affection before he sank down onto one knee and ran the damp cloth along the insides of your thighs. He took extreme care when he wiped at your swollen folds, knowing you were still sensitive to the touch. “There we go. All done, now.”

Not long after, you were both back in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets.

Yawning, you nuzzled into bare his chest, your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier with each and every second that ticked by. You’d started drifting off when you heard his voice.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” you answered sleepily, eyes still closed.

“Did you mean what you said?”

“Mean what, Joel?”

There was a brief pause. “Y’know, when you said you’d stay with me.”

Snuggling closer to him, you mumbled, “Mhm. Of course I did.”

“S’not gonna be easy,” Joel murmured into your hair.

“I know.” You yawned. “But I have you.”

“You do. You’ve got me—and I’ve got you, babygirl.”

“Mm. I know that too, Joel.”

You felt him kiss the top of your head and then fell fast asleep in his arms.

The sun bloomed over the Grand Tetons.

Your father would wake soon, that’s to say if he wasn’t up already.

The nerves began to set in.

Joel must have sensed it. “Breathe, baby. S’gonna be okay,” he soothed, squeezing your hand.

With one of his warmer, heavier jackets that normally didn’t see the light of day until winter season draped around your shoulders, the two of you made your way down the road and towards your house. Or better said, towards your father’s house. Because after what you were about to do, that yellow and white cottage would no longer be a place you could call home.

He led you up to the porch. “Y’sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” he asked, quietly.

You could have laughed. You almost did.

“Do you believe that to be a wise choice?”

“No, I reckon it ain’t the best idea,” Joel admitted with a sigh, raking his free hand through his unkempt, salt and pepper hair. He looked up at the house, then back at you. “Look, little dove. No matter what happens in there, just know that everythin’ will be alright. M’gonna take care of you. For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. I’ll try my hardest to be everythin’ you need.”

“You already are, Joel,” you said, your gaze earnest.

His chest swelled with warmth.

Truth be told, Joel didn’t know how he had managed to defy the odds—how he, of all people, had managed to make his way into that sweet, innocent, beautiful little heart of yours, but somehow he did, and he would not take this responsibility lightly.

He brushed your lips with his and promised, “Gonna be waitin’ right here, okay?”

“Okay.” Inhaling deeply, you willed yourself to let go of his hand and took a step back. You then started up the porch steps on wobbling legs. When you made it to the top, you glanced over your shoulder at Joel, who gave you a subtle nod of encouragement. Exhaling slowly, you reached for the knob with trembling fingers and turned it, opening the door. You stepped inside, your heart dropping into your stomach when you saw your father sitting there at the foot of the staircase, as if he’d been waiting for you. He had been waiting for you. Fully dressed, he sat on the second to last step with both hands folded on his bible in his lap, a rosary clutched between them. “Papa?”

He said nothing. Instead, he silently observed you—his eyes glazed over the men’s jacket and the short dress you wore underneath it, the disheveled, loose hair and kiss swollen lips. Your holy cross nowhere to be seen.

“Papa.” You swallowed harshly and shifted your weight anxiously from the heel of one boot to the other. “We, um—we really need to have a talk.”

He peered around you, catching a brief glimpse of the man standing outside, waiting for you at the foot of the porch.

He cleared his throat, lightly. “Yes, child. I suppose that we do.”

Nodding tightly, you turned around and slowly closed the door. Joel’s words rang in your mind over and over, giving you the push of strength you knew you would need.

I’ve got you.

divider credit goes to @saradika 🤍

[darby-rowe]

୨⎯ "inches of snow" ⎯୧

young!coriolanus snow ☓ fem!reader summary your boyfriend, coriolanus snow, joins you and your family for christmas dinner, but of course it's nothing short of an insufferable experience. but don't worry, because coryo is there to take care of you!

18+ | nsfw | mdni word count 2,298 cw modern au, coryo & reader are in grad school, it's christmas!!, mentions of food, implied body shaming by family, uh oh grandma and grandpa are being bigoted again, bathroom sex, mirror sex, anal, praise, degradation, sex on the bathroom sink, it's a very anal christmas, coryo has a big dick, ooc(?) coryo, y/n usage, petnames, unprotected sex, spit play, cum play, dirty talk notes i know the title is corny as fuck LMFAO but it made me giggle. also imagine reader in ellen griswold's outift from national lampoon's christmas vacation like the one w the blouse and the green skirt bc mmmmm that fit is FIRE. this fic was slightly based off of this post bc i thought it was just too hot to ignore. this is also NOT proofread so any mistakes you find in this fic... dont talk about it

Sitting down at the pleasantly decorated dining room table, your mother insisted on saying grace before you and the rest of your family could dig in on the splendid feast you and the rest of the women in your family worked so hard on. Your mouth watered at the thought of savoring the sweet potato casserole, the baked macaroni and cheese, the ham, everything at the table was extremely decadent. And it was all displayed out in front of you, and right under your nose.

You were a bit greedy, you had to admit, as your hands were the first to get a generous scoop of the fluffy mashed potatoes, earning a scoff from your ever-so lovely paternal grandmother. Say something, you old bat, you thought to yourself, but a pleasant hand came running to rescue you from your angry thoughts. A slight squeeze on your left thigh made you blush, and you turned your head to grin at your lovely boyfriend, Coriolanus Snow. He gave you a reassuring nod, and you went back to indulging in your Christmas feast.

“So, Y/N,” your grandmother piped up, pretentiously swishing her glass of wine. “Anything interesting as of late?”

You swallowed your forkful of mashed potatoes and peas. “My third year of med school is kicking my butt,” you said, trying to lighten the hostility between you and your grandmother. “I’m definitely finding myself to have less and less free time–”

“And how do you feel about that?” your grandmother interjected right in the middle of your response, causing your brows to furrow. Her attention was now fully on Coriolanus, which you turned your head to see what his response would be.

Coriolanus huffed amusingly. “I don’t necessarily have an opinion on it,” he said. “I am also quite busy with my master’s degree. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, or however that saying goes,”

“We’re just busy little bees,” you said in a light manner, albeit a bit awkwardly. “It’ll all be worth it in the end. All this hard work will pay off,”

Your grandfather motioned his glass towards Coriolanus. “Busy little bees, eh? Bet it’s harder on you than her,” This statement made you nearly choke on your champagne. The crudeness of that man! Oh, if you didn’t know any better, you would reach across the table and slap the wrinkles off that smug face–

“It’s actually not really that hard to endure,” Coriolanus spoke up. “We both know we’ll see each other again after our busy spells and that thought keeps us going,”

You smiled bitterly at your grandfather. “Exactly,”

The table got quiet after that, and you spent a good few minutes awkwardly sipping your champagne and eating your generous plate. You felt your appetite unfortunately begin to dissipate as the unpleasantness of the evening began sinking underneath your skin.

“You know, mother,” your father chimed in. “My wife and I both met during our residency, and you know firsthand exactly how busy I was during that time. The 100 hour work weeks, the skills labs, the exams, my boards. It was hard! But my beloved and I made it through, and I’m sure Y/N and Coryo will also make it,”

“I just don’t see the need in investing this much time in such a demanding career when your husband is already planning on pursuing a career that would help the both of you,” grandmother said to you, making your face contort into one of immense displeasure.

“Coryo is not my husband, first off,” you retorted. “At least not yet, but I’m also not going to be a stay-at-home mom who spends her days dealing with the dog, the baby, and the garden. I want a fulfilling career, too! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against stay-at-home mothers, but that life is not for me,”

“Why not?” grandmother knitted her eyebrows together. “Look at you, dear, with that revealing blouse and that pretty face, you don’t need to be pushing yourself like this,”

“Oh my god!” you cried, throwing your hands up. You finally decided you had enough, and with bitterness deep within your soul, you abruptly pushed your chair away from the table and stormed off.

“Watch your mouth, young lady!” your grandmother called out after you. “You weren’t excused!”

“I’m twenty-five years old, grandma, I can excuse myself,” you replied angrily as you traversed upstairs, your heels clicking on the hardwood material.

Slamming the door to the bathroom, you made your way to the bathtub where you sat down on the cold tiles with your knees folded up against your chest. You buried your face in your hands as you breathed in and out. In… and out…

God, you really hated your father’s parents. So judgy and crude, you were only left to wonder why they kept getting invited over to these dinners. Your parents knew how they chastised you, and even with their efforts to put a stop to their bigoted comments, they just kept going and going and going.

You were proud of yourself. You were proud of the life you were building for yourself. Sure, you still had eight years of school left, but at the end of the road you were going to be a kick-ass trauma surgeon. And Coryo was on the fast track to earning his master’s in political science. Soon, he would be running for congress, and the two of you would be unstoppable.

But here you were, practicing breathing exercises on the cold tiles of your parents’ bathroom. You needed to move out of there. Anywhere but there.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and the sweet sound of a familiar voice on the other side. Coriolanus, looking as handsome as ever as he gently let himself into the bathroom, joining you on the floor.

“Hey, bunny,” he cooed, taking your hands in his. “Are you okay?”

You grinned dreamily. “Now that you’re here,” this remark elicited a chuckle from Coriolanus, which made you swoon. “Listen, I have to apologize for my family,”

Coriolanus shook his head. “There’s no need to apologize,” he reassured. “You do not have to say anything. You’re not responsible for their actions, not now, not anytime,” he took your hand and kissed the back of it. “Now, how may I make my sweet girl feel better?”

It didn’t take long before the two of you were on each other like two cannibals competing to see who ripped off the other’s flesh first. Your lips crashed and molded into each other as your warm, wet tongues shoved down each other’s throats in desperate attempts to taste the other’s mouths. Coriolanus tasted like the champagne you planned on indulging yourself with later that night, feeling your mind buzz on the remnants of the alcohol. It ignited your nerves on fire.

It took your breath away when Coriolanus spun you around and pressed you against the bathroom sink, forced to look at the reflection. “Look at you, baby,” he panted, his lips red and swollen from the intense kiss he shared with you just seconds ago. “So fuckin’ pretty and fuckable. I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,”

You looked at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes scanning the pathetic, needy look on your face. You gasped slightly as Coriolanus grabbed your jaw, preventing you from looking away. “I want you to look while I fuck you,” he said, pressing his hardened bulge into your backside which made your eyes slightly roll back into your head. “I know that pussy of yours is throbbing for me, hm? Is it, bunny?”

You opened your eyes and looked at the blush that was beginning to appear on your cheeks. “Mmm’yes,” you whined. “Want you so bad, please. But we have to be quiet. Can’t let my family hear us,”

Before you could say anything else, Coriolanus’s hand slapped onto your mouth making your gasps and breaths all muffled. “There’s a solution for you, my dove,” he murmured into your ear. “Now, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to remove my hand and pull up that pretty little skirt of yours. Then, I’m going take off your panties, then fuck you in the ass. Am I clear?”

You and Coriolanus have indulged in anal before. It wasn’t a common occurrence, but it surely wasn’t unwelcome. Your pussy throbbed with anticipation at the thought of Coryo’s throbbing, hard cock in your tight asshole. You nodded, and he removed his hand from your mouth and cupped it in front of your lips. “Spit in my hand,” he ordered, and you drooled a generous amount of saliva into the palm of his hand.

You could hear his wet hand stroke himself in prep to enter you. With your skirt hiked up and your panties gone, you made sure to relax and breathe as you felt Coriolanus push the tip of his cock into your ass. Your efforts to stay quiet flew out the window as a primal, low groan escaped your throat as your ass became full of his dick.

“Fuuuck…” you groaned, hiking your leg up on the bathroom sink to allow Coriolanus to go deeper. God, it felt so fucking good having his dick deep in your ass. So dirty, and so fucking hot.

In a matter of moments, Coriolanus was thrusting his hips hard and deep inside you, making your mouth fall open in a silent cry of pleasure. You resorted to quiet curses and panting to help you express how good you were feeling in that moment. Goosebumps erupted on your skin. There was a slight sting to being penetrated in the ass, but it wasn’t painful to you. In fact, it only added to the overwhelming pleasure building in your nether regions.

“Such a tight fuckin’ ass,” Coriolanus murmured, grabbing your jaw once again. “Look at you, bunny, so fuckin’ needy for this cock in your ass, yeah?”

You had to be quiet. You needed too. But by god, the sound of Coriolanus speaking pure filth in your ears was insatiable. “Yes,” you growled through gritted teeth, your eyes flicking between your face and Coriolanus’s. “Fuckin’ love your cock in my ass, fuck,”

“Such a naughty girl,” he teased, taking a look down to watch his dick pump in and out of your hole. The sound of your panting and groaning mixed with Coriolanus’s grunts, slightly echoing throughout the bathroom.

You whined as you felt him withdraw from your hole, only for him to spin you around once again and help you on top of the bathroom counter. You willingly spread your legs and watched as Coriolanus re-entered your ass before withdrawing completely once more, and then he repeated these actions again, and again, and again.

“Stop teasing,” you whined, reaching a hand down to play with your pussy only for Coriolanus to swat your hand away, much to your dismay.

Coriolanus pinned both of your hands behind your back. “No touching. You’re going to come from my cock in your ass or you won’t come at all,”

You nodded obediently, your body rocking back and forth in time with his thrusts. You could feel your pussy drooling its juices from how unbelievably aroused you were. It was almost uncomfortable how badly your clit ached to be touched, but you wanted to obey your boyfriend’s orders, so you held back.

“My naughty bunny,” Coriolanus moaned. “Your ass is so tight around my cock. Feels so good. You’re making me feel so – fuck – so fucking good,”

Your mouth fell open as your panting grew more frequent. “Yes, fuck my ass,” you whispered. “Make me come from my ass, baby, please,”

“Are you close, love?”

“Yes, yes – fuck,” you threw your head back as moans threatened to escape your throat, your pleasure only heightened as Coriolanus pressed open-mouthed kisses all along your neck. You were about to come undone from just having his cock in your ass, and it was going to feel so, so good.

“Coming,” you mewled, your legs beginning to shake and the familiar feeling of an itching pulsation deep within your pussy. “Oh god, I’m coming from my ass. Fuck… fuck…!”

In an explosion of pleasure that made you see stars, your orgasm hit you like a truck as your juices gushed out of your pussy. You squeezed your eyes shut and gritted your teeth as it took every fiber of your being to not scream out in pure ecstasy. You continued to squirt all over yourself and Coriolanus’s cock. There was no doubt in your mind that your skirt was ruined.

Coriolanus withdrew from your hole to pump on his own cock until thick, white ropes hit your hole. The sound of his moans and groans pleasantly filled your ears. Your legs were still shaking, and you felt your breath nearly get knocked out of your lungs as you felt his shaft re-enter your ass, fucking his cum into you.

It took a good five minutes before the haze of your orgasm left your brain and you were able to think clearly again. You still sat on the kitchen counter as Coriolanus softly kissed your lips, praising you and telling you how good of a job you did.

“I love you,” you mumbled against his lips, holding his face with your hands.

You felt Coriolanus’s lips tug into a smile. “I know you do, my dove,”

It impressed you how well you cleaned yourself up as you prepared to join your family once again, but as you opened the door of the bathroom, your blood ran cold as you found your older sister waiting outside with a disappointed look on her face.

“Really?” she asked. “During dinner?”

God damnit.

don't be shy, let's talk. ♡

[sanspuppet]

Hey! I know your hard hours are currently closed but you can take your time on this request I'll be patient hehe but i need YOU to write this because you're lowkey my favourite writer 🤭 but anyway could I request a san smut where y/n gets horny from reading a sex scene from a book 👀 hehe tanku ;))

San x afab!reader

W/T: lot of dirty talk (yay), kind of daddy kink, pet names (sweetheart, baby, kitten), unprotected sex (👎🏻), breeding kink

A/O: ahww thank you anon! i really appreciate it mwah <33 i hope you can like it!

Your legs shut intensely as soon as the novel you’ve been reading comes to an end. Fuck if it was a masterpiece that book, the chemistry between the two lovers caught your attention until the last sentence of the very last page. Less to say it, you almost forgot your own existence reading the scene when the two got finally to make out, they whispered little dirty things to each other ears, groped every part of their bodies, before having the most romantic and wild sex you could have ever experienced. You closed the book, placing it next to your side. Your legs were crossed and your stare lost in thin air.

“What got you so exited, sweetheart?” San was heading towards you, with a slight smirk growing on his face, his dimples popped out of his cheeks.

“W-What? What are you talking ‘bout?” you looked at him sitting next to you on the couch, lips parted because you were still regaining consciousness from the book.

“Look at you, baby” panic and shame flowed through your veins, as he pointed the dark stain on your gray shorts.

Fuck.

“You must have liked that novel so much, am i right?” his left hand rested on your inner thigh, caressing it gently. He wasn’t really expecting a reply, though. “Was the sex scene better than our personal ones, baby?” he enjoyed teasing you for sure.

Actually, you liked very much having sex with him, but at only the thought of him fucking you the way you just read, you were throbbing. Which he immediately noticed because of your light clothes.

“Tell me how should i fuck you, then.” he got close to your ear, his thumb rubbed against your lower lip. “Do it for me, kitten” he planted a kiss on your burning cheeks.

“Grope me San, please” you didn’t want to sound too much desperate, but the timbre of your voice couldn’t lie to him. San quickly picked you up so easily that you seemed weighting just as much as a feather.

He threw you onto the bed, his hands found their ways under you t-shirt. “Yeah i see, you want me to touch your soft skin, leave bruises and hickeys all over it?” San squeezed your tits, capturing your lips in his. “I can’t wait to be inside you, you’re so wet i can see it.” One of his hands went down your body, once he reached your panties, he slided one finger under them, rubbing it against your sobbing cunt. Pathetic mumbles left your mouth, your nails were already scratching his back.

“I need this pussy so bad, i wanna give you my babies and stuff you full.” The innocence in his voice was (to say the least) out of tune with the actual meaning of his words. San didn’t hesitate much to drag down your lower-half clothes and shove two fingers inside your sloppy hole.

“Fuck! San!” you breathed out, moaning at the feeling of his fingertips swirling inside your pussy. He spanked your hip harshly with his free hand. “You know how to call me”

He left a hickey on your pelvis. “Say you love me, baby” he kept biting on your skin, as he prepared your cunt to take his big cock, pumping in you with his fingers first. “Say you want me to be filled up by my cum.”

“Y-yes daddy, i want that. Want it so bad” you kind of hated how pathetic and needy you sounded, but oh fuck if he knew how to foreplay.

“Good girl. You’re stretched enough, ready to take it?” San pulled out and dragged his boxers down. His dick was extremely hard and you could tell he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Before you’re too fucked out to even speak, any other particular from the book?” he parted your legs to make room for himself.

“Just fuck me dumb, please.”

“Gonna drive you cockdrunk, kitten, i know you like to” San lubricated his tip, rubbing it against your soaking folds, before sliding inside you all at once. His hands pinned your hips down, stopping you from every move as he started to thrust in you with all of his force. His pounds were deep and decisive, searching for your g-spot.

“Fuck fuck fuck! Right there, t-there. Daddy” you whined out as soon as you felt his cockhead kissing your core. He sped up his pace, pounding rougher, making you tearing from pleasure.

“Take it, just like that. You’re tight pussy’s squeezing me so well” he leaned over you to inhale your sweet scent, the perfume you wear every day that he bought for you, he loved smelling it on you. San giggled in the crook of your neck, then he bit on your burning skin to repress a moan. “Fuck baby, it’s so wet that’s so easy to thrust into it, im not gonna last long”

Your hands cupped his cheeks, planting a messy kiss on his lips. “Please, cum with me, i’m so close daddy” He grunted highly in pleasure, his thrusts got faster but also sloppier. The squelching sound made him so fucking horny, your moans were like music to his ears.

“Yeah? You’ close? Then fucking take my cum.”

San did a few last thrust into your soaked cunt, before you could feel his warm seed flowing into you. He didn’t stop though, he kept pounding to spurt it deeper inside you. His hands caressed every inch of your body, as he murmured praises to your ear:

“Did so well for me, always taking it all. Such a good little girl, aren’t you? You’re so pretty like this.” he layed next to you, leaving sweet kisses all over your neck and face.

“Now tell me, was it better than that book?”

[viperrot]

⇁slasher season | leon kennedy | pt. 1

re4 remake ghostface!leon kennedy x fem!reader NSFW 18+

MINORS DNI: BEWARE OF THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

a few days have passed since you gave leon permission to be a lil creeper. the stage is set, and you thought you were ready, but you couldn’t have been more wrong.

series content warnings: porn with little plot, cnc/dubcon, depictions of chase, stalking, knifeplay, size difference, and possibly more to be added

content contains: stalking, verbal and physical threats (threatens to unalive you), knifeplay, oral (fem-receiving), p in v, cnc, leon is trying to be mean, size difference, voyeurism, masturabation, degradation (use of “slut” and “bitch”), cervix kissing, unprotected sex, implied aftercare

not proofread i am going beddie bye time

????words

song rec: “voulez-vous” by johnny goth

i’m back from the grave. also 300+ FOLLOWS WHAT WHAT I LOVE YOU BIRDIES SO MUCH!! IM SO SORRY I WAS GONE FOR SO LONG T^T IVE HAD A HORRIBLE SUMMER BREAK.

You always felt a sense of shame when you tell your classmates that you don’t work often. At minimum, you work twelves hours a week, and it isn’t for college but more for yourself. It was hard to admit you hail from a well-off family, your rich aunties and uncles all pitching in for your college funding and your quaint apartment, so you never talked about your riches with your friends no matter how close, not wanting to make them feel less-than in anyway.

Time and time again, you’ve offered Leon help with his tuition and summer-class prices, and he always denied it, saying something gruff and mildly misogynistic like, “I don’t need a lady’s money” with a dumb expression. Instead of arguing, you put your extra coffee-shop money into food, clothes, and other gifts for your dear boyfriend, who works far more than you do.

And work means he’s not always around.

In the summer, he’s kicking around in a pool with a handful of little ones, teaching them how to swim “like a better Michael Phelps” as he’d stay at the pool for nearly twelve hours a day. When pool season is over, he's working at the bakery near downtown part-time or focusing on school. Despite the busy schedule year-round, Leon always found time for you, never passing an opportunity to snuggle in the nearly eight months of you dating.

You lazed away on your bed, the summer heat missing as a result of your precious air-con working its ass off in this weather. The bedroom was lit only by the afternoon sun which sparkled in from your balcony a few feet away from your queen-sized bed. You watched the clothes you hung up to dry sway in the gentle breeze as you laid on your side, hands tucked beneath your head as you dozed off.

Rrrrring! Rrrrring!

The sound of your phone going off catches you off guard, the call practically vibrating your entire bed. You sigh heavily and snatch the device from the cotton abyss of your duvet, the screen's brightness slightly stinging your corneas as you squint at it confused.

"Unknown Caller?" You mumble, trying to think of anyone that could be calling you at this time. "Maybe its something about college..." You swipe the screen to the right with your thumb, sitting up and bringing the phone to your ear.

"Hello?" You greet questioningly, eyebrows furrowing together as your free hand comes down to fiddle with the hem of your oversized jumper.

"Hello?" A man's voice responds, deep with a slight rasp. Your confusion worsens.

"Can I help you...?"

"Who is this?"

"(Y/n) (L/n)," you respond curtly. "What do you need?"

"I don't know," they reply. Your lips tug into a slight frown.

"I think you have the wrong number, then. Have a good day!" With a feigned happiness, you quickly ended the phone call and slumped back down into your bed, the springs creaking as your weight pressed into the plush mattress. Your eyes begin to droop once more, breathing slow as you succumb to sleep.

Until the phone rings again.

You grunt and claw around for your cellular device once more, checking the screen to see it was from the same unknown caller. Your eyebrows knit together. Who is this?

“Hello..?”

“Hang up one more time, and I’ll fuckin’ slit your throat,” the mysterious man threatens, his words voiced through gritted teeth and a clenched throat. At that moment, everything clicks.

It’s Leon, your sweet and harmless boyfriend. Leon Scott Kennedy, a man who’s like a giant puppy, is threatening to kill you.

Your mouth grows dry as you ponder on what to say, eyes wide as your hand grips the phone to your ear tightly.

“I-I’m sorry…” You stammer, somehow terrified despite knowing exactly who was on the other end of the line.

“Aww, it’s okay, sweetheart…” you can hear the slight apologetic tone through Leon’s voice changer, and it makes your heart flutter ever so slightly. Even so, he continues this cruel act of his. “I’ll spare you—for now, at least. How about you tell me a little about yourself, hm?” His honeyed voice made your thighs clench together.

“W-what do you… want to know…?” You swallow dryly, tongue pushing out to lick your chapped lips. You hear Leon hum in thought, and you can’t help but imagine him tapping his index finger against his chin.

“Mmm… you gotta boyfriend?” He coos.

“Y-yeah. He’s uhm… very sweet,” you respond shakily, breath hitching in your throat. “I-I’m waiting for him to come home n-n-now, actually!” you hear Leon chuckle at this.

“Really now? Is he making you wait long?” you notice a bit of background noise come through as he speaks, like foliage rustling in the wind. You make a noise signifying your agreement.

“A little, yeah… he works a lot, but I try not to make a big deal out of it,” you clear your throat.

“He leaves a pretty thing like you alone? How cruel,” the “stranger” notes, a teasing tone dripping from his tongue. “A girl with a body like that, I’d do anything in my power to be with you all the time, sweetheart,” your heart beats against your ribcage as you try to figure out what to say.

“How do you know what I look like?!” you sputter out, hoping he can’t somehow hear your blush through the phone. Leon lets out a soft snicker.

“You tend to leave your curtains drawn, bug,” you nearly laugh at his small slip-up, and you’re sure that he realized it too. Even then, you fake your distress, jumping out of your bed in a flurry to stumble into the living room of your quaint apartment. It was true—your curtains were pulled back to let in the golden light of the setting sun, blinds drawn up completely. You fumble with the strings and fabric, nearly falling as you shoo away the natural light from your home.

“You creep! I’ll call the cops-“

“And what? You think they’ll find me?”

“Th-they’ll keep watch of my neighbourhood, an-and-“

“Well, let’s hope they can keep watch of your actual apartment, cuz I’m already here, sweetheart,” Leon’s smirk is evident in his voice, and before you can say anything in rebuttal, you hear a door slide open with a heavy thud coming from your room. Your heart skips a beat as you stumble backwards slightly, nearly dropping your phone in the process.

“Th-this isn’t fucking funny!” You yelp, oddly afraid.

“‘Not funny’? Baby, I never said this was a comedy show,” he chuckles. “You gunna call the cops now? They won’t get here on time, and you know that,” you supposed he could hear you fumbling with your phone, getting ready to dial the police department. Shakily, you begin to bound towards your bedroom, pushing the door open with your hip seeing as it was slightly open. The door to the balcony was wide open, the breeze that dried your hung clothes blowing in gently and causing your curtains to billow in the wind. Apart from the soft drawl of the summer currents, the room was deathly silently. You stood in front of your bed, legs threatening to give out beneath you as your eyes scanned every corner of your room.

“I-I’m not afraid of you!” you call out, phone about to break under the force of your grip.

“Not afraid, huh? We’ll see about that,” the line cuts, and you realize the call has ended. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and yet you’re completely unaware of the presence behind you. Suddenly, a hand presses against your mouth to muffle you as the other wraps under your arm to detain you, a sharp edge pressing into your throat which bobbed in discomfort. Your yelp is bitten back as you teeth at the leather against your lips, trying to bite the hand that kept your pressed against the strangers body. Your eyes as wide as dimes, you decide not to struggle against your attacker, fearing that the blade will slit your throat as he has promised only a few minutes ago.

“You seem pretty scared now, bunny,” he whispers, a shiver running down your spine as a result. His voice is muffled by something, and you realize he’s wearing a flimsy white mask of the iconic Ghostface. “You should be more aware of your surroundings, baby. Otherwise, you’ll find big scary men like me sneakin’ around,” the man digs the blade a little deeper, and you’re thankful that the knife is a bit dull—had it been a sharper blade, you would be bleeding by now.

“You’re shaking, sweetheart… calm down for me. I don’t wanna- ruin this pretty little body of yours,” you can tell he nearly breaks character, his softer side trying to fight for control, but he continues his aggressive front. Your body is practically pudding in his muscular arms, knees nearly giving out beneath you. Your cries are stifled by his gloved fingers as he begins to drag the Buck 120 knife down the length of your neck and against your collarbones. Your attacker pays no mind to the weak punches you throw against his side, barely faltering at the contact and simply holds you tighter against his toned chest.

“So fuckin’ pretty, bunny,” he whispers, admiring the glint of his weapon against your skin. “All for me, too~ You know how crazy it drives me seeing you change in front of that damn balcony door? Sometimes I think you’re begging for me to see this slutty body all the time,” the vulgar languages catches you by surprise, but it quickly leaves when you feel the knife catch between a button of your Leon’s shirt. It tugs upward and snags the thread, popping open the shirt one button at a time, exposing your breasts and baby blue panties to him. He lets out a low laugh, vibrating from his chest.

“My favourite colour, too? Baby, were you expecting me?” His hand drops from your mouth, allowing you to breathe evenly. His free hand immediately finds your breast and gives it a tight squeeze, pinching the perky little bud harshly. “Of course whores like you would welcome a guy like me, hm? You like this, sweetheart?”

“Y-you’re sick…!” you cry, moaning slightly at the pain he inflicted onto your sensitive chest. You feel the blunt end of the knife’s handle push just above your v-line, harsh and brutal as it digs into your body.

“Don’t fuckin’ act innocent with me,” the masked man hisses. “I know exactly what girls like you want—you put up this sweet act around your friends at school so they don’t know you like getting fucked like a toy.”

“Th-that isn’t tru-“ before you finish your sentence, he slams your body into the bed, front pressed into the plush duvet. He leaves his knife laying next to you, taking one hand to keep both of yours behind your back while his other reaches down to paw at the gusset of your underwear.

“‘Not true’? Then explain why it’s practically dripping down here,” the slick gathers on the black leather of his gloves, and you whine as his fingers press against your clothed slit. “Admit it—tell me you love to be used like a little fleshlight,” his voice is rough beneath his mask, and you try to look at him over your shoulder as you struggle against his tight grip. You take note of his outfit consisting of black cargos, an ebony, long-sleeved compression shirt, his leather gloves, and the mask. Its inky black eyes stared back at you as you wiggled beneath him.

“I-I’m not…! I don’t like being-“ you gasp when you feel a sudden intrusion, rendering you speechless. Slick, leathered fingers force their way between your folds and into your hole, scissoring slightly in attempt to stretch you open. He hisses at the feeling of your walls squeezing against his middle and ring finger.

“Christ—Bunny, does your boyfriend not fuck you hard enough? I swear-“ his breathing grows heavy as he thrusts his fingers in and out of your cunt. “You’re tighter than a virgin-“ your thighs clench against his hand as you babble for him to stop.

“P-please… st-stop touching mme,” you hiccup, trying your best to hate the fluttering feeling he was giving you. The man’s fingers curl against your inner walls, pressing deeper and harder into your most pleasurable spots.

“Aww, you want me to stop? But why? You look like you’re having so much fun, baby~” His grip around your wrists grow tighter as he begins to thrust his fingers a little faster. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes as you moan at the pleasure. The knot in your stomach begins to tighten you grow closer to your release, the wet sound of your arousal echoing through your room. Just as you feel as though you’ll explode, the man pulls his fingers out completely, leaving you breathless.

“N-no, please!” you cry, squirming beneath him. He makes no sound, instead releasing your arms and flipping you to lay on your back. You watch him get on his knees before grabbing the discarded blade next to you, making quick work of your delicate pair of lace panties. The fabrics tears as he pulls the knife through it, throwing the bits of it to the floor as well as his blade before pulling up his mask. It drops to the ground, too, laying next to the tattered blue fabric before he looks up at you between your legs. Your boyfriend’s attacker’s hands grip the fat of your thighs tight as he gives you a coy smirk.

“What was that, bunny? ‘Yes, please’? Well, don’t mind if I do,” Leon licks his slightly chapped lips before dipping his head down, blonde hair shielding his eyes as his tongue presses against your sensitive clit. Your fingers tangle into his thin tresses of hair, eyes rolling back as you feel his tongue bully itself into your pussy. Leon grunts when your thighs squeeze his head, only urging him to tongue-fuck you deeper.

“St-stop it-“

“You keep telling me to stop, yet you keep pressing your pussy into my mouth like you’re forcing me to eat it,” he says, mumbling onto your cunt casually. “I should punish you for lying to me, but I’m feeling generous tonight. Just take this like a good little bitch and we won’t have any problems.”

Leon continues his work on you, his skilled tongue having its way inside of your tight little hole as his thumb presses against your clit. You beg for him to stop, trying to push his head out from between your thighs, but he makes no effort of moving, continuing his assault on your poor pussy. He devoured you like it was his first meal in weeks, drinking up every drop of your slick like he wouldn’t eat ever again. You grew embarrassed at the sound of your moans mixing with the wet squelches of your juices. Leon could only laugh as he takes quick peeks at your dazed expression, lapping up at the arousal that practically leaked out of your body. Before you could cum, he pulls back, forcing himself out from between your thighs.

“How ‘bout we get to the good part,” the blonde smirks, picking up his Buck 120 before standing at his full height. You watch him unbuckle his belt, the gentle clanging of metal reaching your ears as he then reaches to unzip his cargo pants. Your body stiffens as you take in the sight of his bulge, threatening to burst from the confines of his black cotton briefs.

“N-no way—you c-cant-!”

“Can’t what? I can’t fuck you?” his brow quirks up.

“M-my boyfriend’ll-“ He rolls his blue eyes, annoyed at the mentioning of himself your partner.

“Fine, we’ll play it your way, bunny,” he shakes his head, picking up one of your legs with his free hand. “Don’t squirm, got it? You may be acting like a bitch right now, but I really don’t wanna nick you, sweetheart,” he grunts, setting your knee over his shoulder. You lay there, wondering what he’s planning, and your eyes widen when you see him hold the knife by its blade, the shiny silver in the palm of his gloved hand as he positions the hilt just before the entrance of your cunt.

“W-wait- don’t-“ Leon pays no mind to your pleas, pressing the blunt handle into your pussy. You clench and cry out, the cold material surprising you as well as the sudden stretch. He clicks his tongue is disproval as you whimper beneath him, thrusting the handle in and out of you.

“You’re so fuckin’ worried about your boyfriend, sweetheart. Why can’t you just admit he can’t fuck you right?” Leon fakes his concern. “You know you love this—You just don’t wanna admit that your stalker’s foreplay is better than your own boyfriend’s dick.”

“S-s’not true! Nngh, it’s nn-not truue~!” you claw at the hand that was squeezing your thigh, silently begging for Leon to stop. Even then, your body betrayed you. Your cunt spasmed around the smooth handle, giving Leon a bit of a struggle as he continued to thrust the weapon in and out of you.

“What a fuckin’ slut…” he smirks. “You keep saying you don’t want this, but your pussy is so goddamn wet,” he pulls the handle out of you, and you cry, babbling for him to put it back in. He only chuckles lowly before taking his cock out of the confines of his underwear. It springs out at a nice six inches, thick and cut with a vein trailing up the side. The Buck 120 is left to be forgotten once more.

“You’re taking this—whether you like it or not,” Leon takes your other leg and throws it over his free shoulder before dragging the head of his cock against your wet slit. Your hands pathetically reach for him.

“P-please…” you hiccup. Leon hums, a teasing expression painting his face.

“What’s that, bunny? Oh, you wanna be fucked like a bitch in heat? Well, if you insist…” with a sudden force, he shoves himself into you with one smooth thrust, splitting you open with ease. You cry out, the back of your head craning into the mattress as you begged for your stalker to pull out.

“O-out~! P-please, nno more~!” you sob, tears flowing from your eyes as he pulls out enough to just leave the tip in. With a grunt, his hips slam back into yours, the full length of him back inside of your tight cunt. Leon lets out a slight moan as he begins to jackhammer himself into you, seemingly not having a care in the world for your comfort as he grips onto your hips and folds you in half onto the bed.

“So tight, baby- fuck! This pussy was made for me,” Leon’s eyes squeeze shut as he fucks into you, relishing in the feeling of your cunt squeezing around his thick cock. “You love this, I fuckin’ know you do. You love being my free-use slut, bunny—tell me you love it when I fuck you like my personal- toy!” he chokes on his words, clearly lost in the pleasure.

“L-love it so much~! M-mmore, more pl-plleaase~” you babble, fingers threading into the man’s hair. Your noses graze each as he bucks up further into you.

“Drives me fuckin’ crazy watching you from your damn balcony, sweetheart,” Leon pants, beginning to break his persona. “Watching you hump your pillows, moaning my name—I couldn’t keep waiting. I was pl-planning- f-fuck, you’re so tight, baby-! Trying to…! To creep on you for a week, b-but you’re just so gorgeous…!” His hands grip harder on your hips, bruising them as he pounds his cock harder and harder into your abused cunt.

“You looked so desperate trying to fuck that stupid pillow of yours—I can’t tell you how much I wanted to just jump into your room and take you then and there, bunny,” his breath tickles against your lips as he speaks, and you can only moan and squirm in response, barely able to form words with how good he made you felt. Your fingers weakly tug at the base of his hair as his hips roll into you, and you swear you can feel the head of his cock trying to push past your poor cervix.

“L-Leon-!” You cry, your legs applying pressure to either side of his head as you feel the knot in the pit of your belly begin to unravel. Leon’s grip on your sides becomes rougher, bruises blossoming in deep purples and reds against your skinz

“Cum for me, bunny—please…!” your lover drops the harsh act, fully embracing his typical nature of sweet boyfriend despite his white-knuckled grip on you. A near-scream erupts from your throat as you finally release, your cunt spasming around Leon’s cock. With gritted teeth, he pulls out and releases onto your stomach, the sticky substance staining the wrinkled white button-up and the soft skin of your belly.

Heavy, hot pants filled the room as you and Leon took a moment to pull yourselves together, his lips pressing soft kisses onto your calves and ankle as he gently leaned back to remove you from your folded state.

“You alright, bug? I-“ he gulps, catching his breath. “I didn’t get too rough, did I?” the worry is apparent in Leon’s voice as his gentle blue orbs gaze into yours. You feel his hands gently caress the bruises he left on your skin.

“M’okay, Lee,” you assure him, chest heaving up and down. You watch his eyes trail down to admire the mess he made on your stomach.

“You look good like this,” the blonde comments, picking up a little glob of his seed between gloved fingers. “We should do this more often, bunny,” he teases, pulling away from you and allowing your legs to fall limp. You were about to protest until Leon moved to pick you up bridal style, carrying you towards the bathroom that was just outside in the hall.

“Let’s get cleaned up, though. I’ve got a feeling you’re ready for a good sleep and some cuddling, yeah?” Leon coos, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. You can only hum in agreement, nuzzling your face into his neck as he carries you to the tub.

hi. lol. idk how i’m still alive. i’m being worked to the bone. i hope everyone is well.

[radioisntdead]

It's 4 am, I haven't slept and I'm supposed to be sleeping but Alastor shenanigans are plaguing me, headcanon time folks! Throwing the reader in at random times

Alastor is stunned when you shine a flashlight at him, like eyes wide, smile stuck, ears forced straight,

Deer in headlights fr fr

He's NOT happy once he's freed from the flashlight pause, if y'all are romantically involved you are getting bitten, if you are not romantically involved, then you are getting threatened, sucks for you good luck.

Dude makes deer bleats, it's canon

Imagine just giving the dude some form of affection like a slight smooch on the cheek and BLEAT

Also hooves, I imagine dude has to get his shoes custom-made to fit comfortably,

Do y'all think he could tapdance with the hooves? Like click clack, I have no idea how tapdancing works it's late, I'm sleep deprived and delusional.

If you know how tapdancing works feel free to infodump in the comments I love reading infodumps

I have no context but onlyhooves popped in my head and I found that hilarious,there are probably people who have a thing for hooves in that universe in a non cute way. Yucky shame on thee.

Anyways put this man shoeless, hooves out on a fleshly waxed/mopped floor or something and he's becoming Bambi, he is NOT dignified when he's slipping and sliding, do not laugh at him you will get bit and I said it once and I'll say it again this man probably has something, Now I adore Alastor that deer guy is why I'm in this fandom BUT THAT MAN DOES NOT HAVE GOOD HYGIENE,

Why do I like this guy? [It's probably because this is the only fictional character that I unwillingly got a thing for that's ace and I feel safe in that way, only in that way though he would kill me. Or I'd kill him first because I AM NOT GETTING TAKEN OUT BY THAT DRENCH HIM IN HOLY WATER]

Anyways back on topic y'all would 100% have to chase him down with a bucket of water, soap and a sponge.

Like use the flashlight to stun him and throw him into a bathtub, dab shampoo and conditioner in his hair and leave him there to soak, this is a weekly debacle

Like he'll take a bath on his own but that's like once a month maybe twice if lucky

You will have to remind him to brush his teeth and stand in the bathroom and watch him brush his teeth, y'all are going to have to change out toothbrushes often because he destroys them brushes his sharp ol' teeth

also I just realized his teeth GLOW? Brushing isn't going to make it any less yellow but maybe glow more.

Deers apparently do this lil' ol' foot stomp while agitated and I can't remember if Alastor does a lil stompy stomp in the show but I can just imagine dude leaning on his radio staff probably bickering with reader because y'all are trying to get him to brush his teeth and then stompy stomp.

You could probably dress him up festively for Christmas, he won't do it willingly but you could try, put Christmas lights on his lil' antlers make him grow em' out and you can put ornaments on it too

I should be sleeping but I'm doing this instead, I am making great decisions here!

I'm yawning rn and that has lead to me thinking he probably unhinges his mouth like pennywise to yawn, Sometimes I wish I could do that, big yawn.

According to his wiki Alastor is a canonically a foodie and cooks

He has a cookbook that he made himself, it's handwritten and looks like it belongs to a older woman [COUGH COUGH he took care into making it look like a cookbook his Ma had cOUGH COUGH]

I imagine he cooks in bulk [me projecting but that's because when I cook it's usually for my family] and before the hotel he would pack it in advance like "this is my delectable lunch, and this is my partners lunch for tomorrow and this is for-" but after the hotel it's just "Salutations! I made dinner now feast."

I imagine there's a few checks to make sure he didn't put any sinner meat in there, like Sir we did not consent to cannibalism.

He usually makes dishes with sinner meat separately.

Dude sleeps with his eyes wide open, dry ol' eyes, give him some eye drops like sir you had glasses in life, I'm assuming your eyesight got fixed to some degree, TAKE CARE OF IT this is coming from someone with glasses, I want good eyesight SOBBING.

anyways if y'all were married for example in life the first time you go to snoozeville and you wake up you freak out because he's staring at you and he did NOT DO THAT WHEN HE WAS ALIVE.

Dude definitely got freakier in death, like dude was a funky lil' charmer that killed people, I can't emphasize enough that this man killed people, Remember it's alright in fiction but we don't condone it irl.

And now he's a funky cannibalistic dude, still kills people

Imagine keeping a diary or something and one entry is just like

"Dearest diary, Alastor has developed a taste for sinner flesh."

I really don't use Alastor making puns in my fics enough, I need to put that in more I ADORE puns

I've been kicked out of like two gcs because I wouldn't stop making stupid puns at bad times.

Same with the 1920's-1930's slang and just everything like that was my hyperfixation for a good bit [I say good bit like I wasn't a walking talking wikipedia article and like it isn't actively ongoing] [I am SO GLAD I WAS NOT BORN THEN I WOULD NOT SURVIVE FOR MULTIPLE REASONS.]

Dude has chest fur. Also random tuffs of fur around like his elbows or knees.

I also headcanon that he sometimes sleepwalks, so you wake up at 2 am and he's just standing over you, watching.

Assuming you're used to it you just blink before turning around and going back to sleep, add in a "Alastor go back to your side of the bed"

When he's not freaking you out with his sleeping habits he's staying awake for multiple days in a row.

Okay I'm going to sleep now goodnight folks, Let's see if this makes any sense when I wake up.

[robertseanleonardthinker]

HOUSE OC MOMENT!!!!!

me making my first oc in years at 1:30 am

name: domingo estrada

age: 25 (january 18th)

race: latino (guatemalan)

gender: female to male. he/him. outside of work, his trans identity is very important to him, but it's something he prefers to not bring up in the workplace.

sexuality: uhh.... yes. he prefers to not label it, as he feels it's very fluid. crushes SUPER easy, though. watch out, if you be nice to him, he'll swoon.

physical apperance: tan skin, hazel eyes, long, brown hair with a slight wave to it. he usually wears his hair in a bun. he is man bun supreme. loves having his hair up. he's post top surgery and has been on testosterone for a couple of years. he's a little below average height and has a fairly average build. he likes wearing soft, comfortable clothes (usually in pastel colors, as those are his favorite). he also usually wears slip in shoes with no laces on account of the psych ward.

role at ppth: social worker on the adolescent unit of the psych ward. he's newly graduated and pursuing licensure (licensed clinical social worker). what his job entails is creating treatment and discharge plans, finding placements for those who need them, coordinating appointments, and assessing patients in the emergency room (those who come in for mental health reasons). he tries to spend as much of his free time on the unit to be there for patients. if needed, he'll sit and talk to a kid for hours.

about: domingo is a laid-back person. he's pleasant to be around. he's usually calm and collected and is good under pressure (great trait for a social worker!) he connects well with the teenagers he works with, easily gaining their trust and allowing them to open up. he's a good listener and tends to remember lots of minute details about people. sometimes he freaks people out with that ("how did you even remember that? i mentioned it once!") he is very passionate about his work and would fight endlessly for his patients. he cares deeply about the teens under his care and works tirelessly to make sure they get what they need.

domingo, though good at his work, also tends to be a bit absent-minded and forgetful. he has adhd and has yet to find a medication that works for him. his phone is full of endless reminders and there's random post-it notes all over his office. if he isn't moving, he feels like he'll explode. something the teens he works with enjoy is that he's always got a fidget and a pack of gum on him. something that helps him the most is using an oral fidget, though he doesn't like to use them in front of his coworkers. outside of his office, he chews gum.... or less preferable, his nails. a habit he's had since childhood.

domingo also has dyslexia. he has learned ways that help him with reading, but still struggles. though he's spent years in therapy working to decrease his shame, it's still something he occasionally feels embarrassment about. he has excellent listening and speaking skills, it's just reading and writing he has a hard time with. he uses a screen reader on his computer most of the time.

backstory: domingo is a twin. him and his sister (teresa) were born to a mother struggling with drug addiction. once she discovered she was pregnant, she tried her best to quit. she was sober for pretty much the entire pregnancy, and a few months after that. however, she fell deep into postpartum depression and turned back to drugs. at first, she hid it. she hid it well. her boyfriend, their father, didn't know until he came home early from work one day and walked in on her popping a pill. he tried to be supportive, but he was so angry at her. he tried his best to help her, but she didn't want it. she was deep into her addiction. one night, he had enough. he gave her an ultimatum. get clean, or he leaves. he gave her a month. she tried her best, not wanting her children to lose their father, but she couldn't do it. addiction had dug its claws too deep into her. she couldn't do it alone. he left her like he said he would. of course, this loss only drove her deeper into her illness.

it wasn't until 4th grade that someone finally realized what was going on in their home. a teacher called cps, but they did nothing. cps would be called over a dozen more times, yet nothing would be done. they remained in that house until they were adults. this is what inspired domingo to pursue social work. social workers had failed him. he didn't want other children to go through that.

his sister also fell into drugs in high school. she spiraled and spiraled for years until she overdosed one night. this was after she graduated. she was supporting herself as best she could. she was taken to the emergency room, where they managed to save her. that was what she needed. she didn't want to be like their mother. she decided to go to rehab, and committed herself fully to recovery. she's had a couple slips along the way, but has gotten fully sober and now lives a wonderful life. she works at a community outreach center as a peer support specialist and advocates for harm reduction.

in the past couple years, his mother finally began getting sober. she committed once more to recovery, and so far, it has stuck. domingo and teresa have a lot of feelings about it. of course, they're proud of her. they're happy to have their mother again. but also... why couldn't she have been there when they were younger? why did it have to be now? that they were both on their own? domingo struggles heavily with this outside of work.

uhh anyways..... that's all for now :3 i'll write more + make him a blog tomorrow.

[copsecore]

my thoughts on the "fanon-isation" of sam (and his newest ba)

(taken from a long winded text conversation i had - slight NSFW talk below the cut) [WORD COUNT: 1047 WORDS, IM SORRY]

psa: while i am complaining about it, it's just my own thoughts, and none of which is an actual criticism of erik, feel free to add your opinions, as per the usual

Maybe its coz time is passing, and the relationship is developing but i feel like i’m enjoying the dynamic between sam and darlin’ a lot less than i did at the beginning. It feels a lot less “human-realistic” and more “tailored for fan preference” (you sam fans gotta hear me out on that bit okay).

Clearly erik isn’t “pandering” towards the fandom or anything, however there HAS been a change in sam’s writing that i don’t know if anyone else can see, or whether it’s just me.

 Fight me, but i feel like whatever’s happening to guy, the reverse is happening to sam. In the sense of where guy is gaining lore and becoming more plot relative, sam seems to be losing that position, which doesn’t cover all of my opinion, but it’s the simplest way i can think of putting it. 

He feels more “disconnected” as a character and I wish i could write this more specifically but there’s almost no “good” way of putting it, i’m just trying to put my vibes about this into readable thoughts in a way that’s somewhat well communicated.

It feels like he’s being diminished, where there’s less of the gruff dad-type personality, protective semi-asshole, gently-caring-in-a-non-tsundere-way, and a lot more “here’s your standard cookie-cutter southern bf who just so happens to be a vampire, however that’s essentially irrelevant because it’s never referenced in a way that’s plot-needed”. 

It’s quite flat and 2D now in a way that i can’t explain, so therefore don’t yell at me for saying it. While he’s still hot ofc, I don’t enjoy his character nearly as much as i did pre-quinn era, which is a shame because it’s difficult to let go of the fact that he’s one of my favourites, but the energy’s shifted and it’s “off” now. 

Maybe it’s because I’ve changed as a person in the last four years, which i know i have, but it doesn’t seem to be just character development, in the nicest way possible, it feels like he’s being written “out of character”.

Character development in any way is good, I’m a writer myself, I would know that, but those words aren’t what i would personally use to describe it. Forgive me, but i just felt like i needed to get everything out so i could see if anyone else agreed. 

You could say “it’s not that deep” but I’m autistic; this is my special interest, so as much as you can say otherwise, it is in fact “that deep” for me. 

Don’t get me wrong, i still thoroughly love sam as a whole, complete character, and the more recent videos that i don’t like as much could never take that away from me, so again, don’t come at me saying i’m “hating on him”, because i’m not.

This is as constructive of a “rant” that i can make it, and yes, my anonymous asks are turned off. I’m not gonna go on about how “i’m not criticising erik, BUT-” because if you know me at all, you’ll know i would never send hate towards him. 

With the “fanon-isation”, that’s just a word i threw out there to header this whole thing. I meant it mostly in reference to how a large part of the fandom seems to idealise or romanticise darlin’s character, and somewhat how that seems to be translating to the canon of their relationship with sam, and thus effecting him as well. But that wasn’t the right wording - the sam fangroup is big, and i’m already throwing myself to enough proverbial wolves as it is.

The thing that sparked all of this - and if you don’t have the patreon then you probably won’t know - is that Sam biting darlin’ for the first time happened in his most recent ba, which wasn’t something that i really liked. It felt weird to me that, even though it was fully communicated and both parties were okay, it would happen FOR THE FIRST TIME in a sexual setting. While it made sense for darlin’s character, it made less sense for sam’s.

 It also means that (at least as i’m writing this) the non-patrons won’t experience the very plot-important aspect that is sam biting darlin’ for the first time, considering how built-up it’s been throughout their storylines, it didn’t feel right.

It almost felt like the only reason the reverse-comfort audio even previewed for a ba was because THAT was the video that fell on release day. The circumstances just didn’t feel right for it, not given sam’s past and everything that happened in the quinn arc. 

i figured it would at least happen with a sit down conversation, in an sfw audio, even if it was ON patreon, but free. Of course - knowing darlin’ - it was going to be sexual at some point, but i didn’t think it would happen for the first time.

 I’m not going into any more specifics on the audio itself, but those are my thoughts on that bit. Sam bites darlin’, and i didn’t like it. My gripe is neither that it happened, nor that it’s not available to the public, but that nothing about the setting or the build up felt right, and it felt like it happened “just because”, which was a big let down for me, personally.

It wasn’t even the first time I’ve gotten the gist that something was “up”, THAT happened in sam’s hbs 2023 audio (NOT the ba, just the youtube access one) where it definitely felt more like “this is what the audience wants” because yes, who wouldn’t want to see a hot southerner get down and dirty in a club? But it didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but more so now it seemed like fandom influence of a sorts.

Almost like I was reading a fanfic or something that was posted on here (no hate of course, I would say my "platform" on here is mainly constructed of fan based content, just that it seemed more “headcanon-y” and less Just Canon) rather than something that erik himself wrote.

TL;DR: sam feels more and more “out of character” to me as a long-term viewer, and it all came to a head in the most recent bonus audio

[lifeontoast]

Have I Found You?

 

Edward Nashton x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used)

 

SUMMARY: Edward thinks he has found his soulmate at long last.


A/N: a little something for my Eddie/Riddler fans - enjoy! I’m pretty proud of this one. Feel free to drop me any other Paul Dano requests if you have them.

 

Trigger warnings: traumatic past mildly implied, mugging

 

…

EDWARD’S POV

 

It’s her. I know it. She’s my angel sent down from Heaven. She’s made for me. Me, who has been so loveless my entire, miserable existence.

 

When I saw her in the diner yesterday, I am not at all ashamed to say I was absolutely transfixed by her totally mesmerising beauty. She was the purest, prettiest creature to bless these disgusting Gotham streets. What on earth is she doing here? Still, I can protect her from that. Well, Edward might not be able to, but Riddler certainly can. Just as soon as I get her to notice me. I know that she’ll love me when she gets to know me! There’s a word, a word I can’t quite grasp…

 

I’m going back to the diner tonight; she might be there again.

 

NORMAL POV

 

It’s him. You know it. He’s your angel sent down from Heaven. He’s made for you. You, who have been so loveless your entire, miserable existence.

 

When you saw that cute guy at the diner yesterday, it took everything you had not to go over and introduce yourself right away. He was far too good looking for someone like you, or so you thought. His transparent glasses rested on his nose in such an adorable manner, and even from a distance you could see his forest green eyes sparkling magically. Soft brown hair flopped over his forehead as he bent over his pumpkin pie, and what looked to be a puzzle book. Gorgeous and smart. He was perfect. All too aware that you were gazing shamefully, staring even, you looked away, a slight blush on your cheeks.

 

You’re going back to the diner tonight; he might be there again.

 

TIMESKIP TO LATER THAT DAY…

 

It was time. You were going to head to the diner, in the hopes that the gorgeous man would be there again. He had to be. The servers always seemed to know him by name (he was a regular!), though you didn’t know what name. You’d have to ask him that later. Walking down the streets (carefully, always carefully, as who knew what was lurking in those dark alleyways), you noticed a scuffle up ahead of you. Approaching cautiously, you tried to assess the situation. It was a mugging! Some poor guy was having his wallet stolen right in front of you. 

 

Sprinting up to the guy, you prised the mugger’s huge hands off the man and took the wallet back, finally punching him square in the face. He fell to the ground groaning. It was only as you looked at the man who had been victim to the attack that you realised who it was. It was the man from the diner, shaking like a leaf and looking astonished. Even when scared he didn’t look any less gorgeous. His green eyes were wide behind his wonky glasses, and even wider when he noticed it was you who stood in front of him. He bent his head to look at the grimy pavement instantly, cheeks turning red as a tomato.

‘Thank you!’ the man said, daring to steal a glance at you at last. ‘You saved me!’

‘It’s no problem, really.’ You smiled back. ‘Hey, didn’t I see you at the diner yesterday? Let’s go there now, to recover a little.’

The man nodded shakily. ‘Actually, I was heading there when that scumbag attacked me. By the way, I never caught your name... I, um, I’m Edward.’ 

‘Y/N.’ you said simply, starting to walk towards the diner. Edward followed behind you, smiling to himself. Pretty name for a pretty guy, you thought.

 

EDWARD’S POV

 

I was just on my way to the diner to see if that ethereal angel would be there when some idiot decided to mug me for my wallet. It was just a shame that Riddler wasn’t there; he could have killed the man in seconds. Instead, weak, puny, Edward had to cope with him all on his own. I was so tired, I was about to just give him my wallet when someone came running over, and started fighting the guy for me! Finally, punching the man to the ground, I turned to look at my saviour, when I saw the woman from the diner yesterday. So she was an angel! She had been sent there to save me, I just knew it. My eyes widened in disbelief, and I blushed terribly, looking at my feet. She saved me! I thanked her, and she offered to take me to the diner to recover. I asked her name, and she replied with the most heavenly name I’d ever heard: Y/N. It suited her perfectly. 

 

I felt myself fall for her straight away, my heart pounding crazily every time I looked at her beautiful face. When I saw her for the first time yesterday, I just knew she was the one for me! She could never like someone like me, though. I was ugly, and she was stunning. I was weak, she was strong. I was a devil, a worthless sinner, she was an angel. My angel. There was that word again, still just out of my reach…

 

We started on our way to the diner.

 

NORMAL POV

 

You sat down on one of the stools in front of the counter, and Edward sat beside you.

‘Edward, hello! Pumpkin pie?’ the friendly server asked him with a grin, and he nodded.

‘One for Y/N too, please. And two coffees.’ He replied quietly. Looking at you for approval of this order, you smiled gracefully. She nodded, and turned to get your food and drink. You and Edward whiled away the hours chatting about your lives, in between bites of pie and sips of coffee. You felt sure that you were in love with Edward, but were worried that he didn’t feel the same way. Your heart sped up, and your palms were clammy with nerves. All your life, you had never met anyone quite like Edward. He was quiet, yet charming and chivalrous. Beginning to let your mind wander, you pictured your and his life together. Edward would definitely make a brilliant husband, father, grandfather. His shy kindness endeared you to him infinitely, and you saw that he would never let you lift a finger while you were with him. No, that’s ridiculous! You told yourself to get over this pathetic little crush, not knowing that he felt the same way entirely. He definitely had a nice girl waiting for him at home, right? In fact, you probably shouldn’t be keeping him from her.

 

You decided not to pursue your feelings any further, not wanting to ruin your newfound friendship. Well, there are certain things you cannot share with another person without becoming friends with them, and saving someone from a mugging is one of them.

‘So, Edward, anyone waiting for you back at home?’ you asked, as casually as possible, secretly desperate that there wasn’t anybody. You just had to know.

‘Me? No, of course not!’ he laughed a little too loudly, seemingly wanting to prove eagerly that he was single. Strange. Now that he mentioned it, he did give you the slight impression that he had never been with anyone at all. Something about the twinkle of innocence and inexperience in those emerald eyes.

‘What about you?’ he asked, an audibly sad note in his voice.

You’d been free as air for a while now. You told him so. He looked strangely relieved. He smiled that beautiful, shy smile again.

‘So, Edward, what do you do for a job?’ you asked curiously. You couldn’t work out just by his appearance what he did, although you were sure it would be something nerdy.

‘I, um, I’m a forensic accountant, yourself?’ he replied.

You knew it. Edward was a little nerd! This endeared you to the man even further. You told him what you did, and he nodded, looking a little tense, zoned-out even. You were slightly worried, and were about to ask him if he was okay, when he suddenly exploded.

‘But I hate it there! They all call me Ed-weird, and make fun of me for liking puzzles and “being weird”. It’s not fair! I always have loved my riddles, but they just don’t understand them like I do. They’re so exciting, it gives me such a thrill when I solve one, makes me feel so powerful. Powerful enough to shut them up, to tell them that I’m not who they think I am. I’m not weird! Even in school they’d make fun of me, and at the orphanage too. It was so horrible there! We were always hungry; there was never enough for everyone, and in the winter, it was so cold… if only the Gotham Renewal fund had been used as it should have been, instead of a private money tree for those rich scumbags we call politicians and leaders!’ he seemed like he’d wanted to say all that to someone for a very long time. Breathing heavily, he glanced up at you carefully over his glasses, wincing slightly in embarrassment at his outburst, trying to gauge your reaction. Risking everything, you reached out and placed your hand over his shaky one, to comfort him. You threw him a sympathetic glance, and he blushed and smiled ever-so-slightly in return.

 

EDWARD’S POV

 

I was having such a great time at the diner with Y/N. I was falling deeper and deeper with every passing second, and felt ashamed at myself. How could she ever like me back? She asked me what I do, and I told her. But there was something I wanted to say to her, something to tell her. Something I’d wanted to tell anyone, anyone at all who would listen, to be honest. Anybody else would look at me like a rat and get up and leave in disgust. But she was different. She wasn’t like all my co-workers (if you could call them that; they hardly did any work) or strangers on the street. I had a feeling that Y/N would understand me, after all, she was my angel. Of course she’d understand. 

 

It all came out in a rush. I hadn’t meant it to be like that! She looked a little stunned when I’d finished, but, surprisingly, she placed her warm, soft hand over mine. She smiled, and I melted. My heart blew up in a supernova. She was just perfect. She looked into my eyes like she loved me, loved me! I finally knew the word I had been grasping at for hours now. 

 

Soulmate.

 

…

 

A/N: as usual, thanks so much for reading! You guys rock! Once again, feel free to drop me any other Paul requests if you have them.

[like-a-bantha]

Sleep Study

Summary: When there's no time for piloting lessons, you suggest a sort of learning-by-osmosis experiment to Tech. What could possibly go wrong?

Pairing: Tech/GN Reader (No Y/N)

Rating: T

Warnings: Language, not beta-read

Word Count: 6.2K

AO3 | Masterlist

Now, this might sound weird – maybe even a tad disrespectful – but bear with me.

I’ve recently begun piloting lessons with Tech and I couldn’t ask for a better teacher. He knows, while I am a proficient mechanic, I’m a total novice when it comes to actually flying, and the man deserves a medal for his patience with me. I’ll ask the same question five times and he only gets mildly agitated around the third, but he’s always been understanding. Not everyone can be a certified genius, after all.

So lessons have been going pretty not bad, I’d say; it’s the workload that’s been causing problems. Cid’s got us going from job to job with almost no breaks. Lately we’re lucky if we get half a rotation to stop and refuel, let alone catch our breath. We’re all exhausted. We’re all on edge. It’s gotten to the point where we’ve had to put a pause on the lessons for a few days just to keep up with general maintenance on top of the back-to-back missions. Thankfully, in those few quiet moments where we can get to that maintenance, I’ve been able to sort of keep up on my lessons thanks to Tech’s rants. And maybe, for whatever reason, my brain decided these rants were incredibly soothing on one particular sleepless flight. And maybe, who knows why, I may have fallen asleep just a bit. It didn’t seem like Tech was angry, or even upset. He was almost apologetic when he gently nudged me awake.

Today, after landing on Ord Mantell for an incredibly brief pit stop, Tech and I work in silence below the ship. He’s been quiet with me since my last accidental nap and I just can’t figure out how to voice how sorry I am without sounding — I don’t know. Disingenuous? And if I’m honest, how do I avoid sounding like a total creep? But we’re just working next to each other, neither of us saying a word, and it’s nice but it’s not us and there’s this massive knot in my gut saying well, it’s your own fault, don’t you remember? 

This silence is awfully comfortable. It really would be such a shame if something were to change that.

“Hey, Tech,” I jumped in without a plan and I’ve given up hope on this being eloquent in any way, at this point I’ll be glad if my question is at least somewhat coherent, “I’m sorry about,” I trail off a bit, I don’t want to finish that sentence actually, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but I just, I had this idea — weird idea — and maybe a request? Feel free to shoot it down, I mean, if it’s too much. Would you mind sending me the audio files of your lessons? Sorry, just, they’re really interesting but also relaxing and, and, maybe it can be a sort of experiment, y’know? If I fall asleep listening will I retain the information? Strange idea, sorry.”

Tech stares blankly, and when I turn to meet his gaze after giving myself a moment to reboot, he continues to stare blankly. His head is just barely tilted, and he wears a look somewhere between genuine confusion and borderline concern. With a slight shake of his head he finally responds, “Forgive me, I’m afraid I do not follow.”

If only there was a way to smash your head into a wall a few times without doing any real damage. I’d kill for that right about now. I could’ve just kept my mouth shut but no. Real bang-up job on my part.

“I, uh, I fell asleep the other day because – well, because I was tired, mainly – I don’t know, I just find your voice really soothing? Like, everything’s been really chaotic lately but listening to you talk about paralight systems made it,” I take a deep breath, no going back now, “ah, it made it a lot less chaotic. Like everything was quiet for a minute. Safe.”

Another long exhale. Tech’s still silent, processing, but his brows are raised now and his eyes have gone a bit wide behind his goggles. I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing just yet. It’s probably best to go against my gut and keep my mouth shut for a few minutes, but now the minutes feel longer than usual. Karked this one up a bit, I think.

“So you would like the audio files to… study?” I nod before he even finishes his sentence. “Or will you be using them to fall asleep?” I’m still nodding and it certainly isn’t helping his confusion at all.

“Both?” I shrug.

He raises his gloved hand inquisitively to his chin, and his face is blank aside from the visible pondering, and now I’m really starting to think I’ve karked it all up. I could’ve put more thought into it, taken my time both in the apology and easing him into the idea of sharing his pre-recorded knowledge, but instead I sloppily tossed all my cards on the table knowing I had a shit hand. And not just any shit hand, no, it’s an alarmingly weird hand. Just as I’m about to start spewing apologies his hand drops slightly from his chin, index finger extended, “An interesting experiment indeed. I shall transfer the files of our previous lessons as well as my own personal recordings.”

Huh.

Wait. “Personal recordings?” Why do my ears feel warm?

Luckily for me his face is buried too deep in his datapad to notice the tinge of red creeping up my neck. “Yes, before you joined our squad and long before our schedule became so hectic, I kept an audio diary of sorts. Detailed accounts of my findings on missions.”

“Cool,” Yes, I can feel how wide and dopey my grin is but I’m still riding the high of my botched opener somehow working and couldn’t care less. “I feel like I remember seeing you telling a bug facts about itself way back when I met you guys. Makes sense now.”

His brows immediately furrow as he finally pulls his gaze away from the glowing screen in his hands. “You assumed I was talking to the insect?”

Straight faced, I raise both my hands like I’m pleading innocent. “Hey, I don’t judge.”

I break first. My shoulders begin to shake, then my still-raised hands, as the laughter bubbles up. Tech isn’t far behind. We look at each other as we laugh and I can’t help thinking that if it were anyone else I’d hide my face, but it’s like I’ve just now realized turning away would mean missing this uncharacteristically uncontained joy. 

Normally I hate sleeping in my helmet. I know it’s for protection or whatever, but there are few things worse than waking up with a crick in your neck and the gnarly one-two punch that is the bed-head-helmet hair hybrid. Alas, I am dedicated to not only my experiment but also not getting mocked by Wrecker for the next week for listening to Tech’s lecture on, let’s see… “Botanical Symbolism in Folklore Across Kashyyyk”? Sounds interesting. But since I’m not on watch for another seven hours, I can actually take my time choosing rather than scrolling a few pages ahead to the B’s and picking the first one that stands out. I kept scrolling and skimming for a while, he must’ve sent his entire audio library to me; there are hundreds of pages and I’m barely halfway through the aurebesh. Then I’m suddenly scrolling rapidly back to the top of the page as if my subconscious just had a great idea that I’m simply too conscious to understand, and that great idea is to sort the files in chronological order.

I don’t have to scroll back very far at all, Tech wasn’t kidding when he said he only stopped his audio diary when the work started. There’s one titled “The mountainous planet of Guntcania 5” from a few days before we last left Ord Mantell. We’d been sent to loot a newly abandoned Imperial shipyard, driven out by a group of formidable freedom fighters whom we were told were not in it for the profit but the valiant cause. Turns out it was both. I remember Tech quietly commenting on the geological formations to no one in particular. I remember standing a bit closer to hear his comments. I fell asleep just shy of eleven minutes after hitting play.

He caught me in the kitchen not long after I woke up, both of us beelining to the instant caf.

“Thought your shift was over,” I grab two packets from the drawer as Tech retrieves two mugs from the cupboard, “Want some of that herbal tea instead? Get some rest, maybe?”

It’s nice, these quiet moments with him. I’ll watch the kettle, if that old saying is true maybe I can buy us a few more of those moments.

“I have yet to decrypt the schematics from the refinery,” With a heavy sigh he sets the datapad down on the countertop, his shoulders hang and his exhaustion is visible, “Once I’ve completed that and analyze the data I will rest. Until then, I will stick with caf.”

I give a sympathetic smile, “Y’know, I’d offer to help but I think that isn’t exactly my area of expertise.”

“I would more than appreciate the company,” Tech interjects, and by the look on his face I think it took us both by surprise. “If you would be so kind as to join me, that is. Though, if you have duties you must attend to I completely understand and–”

My surprise quickly melts into a warm smile. “‘Course, Tech. I’d love to.” And his face softens in turn. And then there’s a beat where we’re just standing there smiling at each other. Then another. And another. Have you ever seen a tooka knock a cup off of a table and jump at the sound of the crash? Now, imagine that but instead of a tooka it’s two mercenaries, and instead of the clatter of a cup it’s the kettle coming to a boil with an abrupt screech. I think we’d find it much funnier if we weren’t still in the vast realm of half-asleep. Right now, it’s just enough to elicit a soft chuckle at most.

Tech retrieves his datapad as I fix the caf. “Have you begun conducting your experiment? I’m sure you’ve already seen, but I have transferred all of my files from the past year or so, I’m interested to hear your findings.”

It’s enough to slow my movements, brain power diverted to processing his question as I reach for the milk at half speed. “Oh. I, uh, I played the one from Guntcania 5. Didn’t last long, though, I was out by the time you got to regional climates.”

“You were with us for that mission. Perhaps choosing a mission or topic you are unfamiliar with would better prove your theory.”

I nod once before turning to join him, a steaming mug in each hand, carefully placing the caf in front of him as I sit. “Realized as soon as I woke up. Any recommendations for tonight's file?”

He names several from memory as he works on his own task, giving brief descriptions of each without giving away too much — that could skew the results. I add them all to a separate folder, sorting them in order of how excited Tech seemed at the topic.

Of course, things got hectic again and I didn’t have time for experiments – I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been listening to those files, though. Five rotations, a standard week’s worth of sleeps and dreams in the tune of Tech’s voice. I’m waking up well-rested despite sleeping only a handful of hours at a time. I’m practically begging the force to fry some wiring or call off a job to spend even just a few minutes with him. I’m starting to think I may have a problem.

Cid called while we were out hunting down puffer pigs for one of her clients. Hunter walked away with the holoprojector about halfway through the conversation, he later told Omega this was to avoid scaring the animals but Echo and I overheard the real reason. That’s another ten credits in the swear jar. When we get one, that is; right now it’s sort of just an honor system. Next mission – big client, big payout, big enough to hack away a good chunk of our debt and take a couple days off – was called off at the last second, she’d try talking to the client again but, right now, and I quote, “He ain’t budgin’.” We’re still on call, though, and flat broke after our last refuel, so this is really just the galaxy’s worst vacation. Hunter’s hushed and extensive vocabulary perfectly summed up our feelings on the matter.

I was going to try to get some rest on the way back to Ord Mantell but puffer pigs are noisy enough in a relaxed state, toss six of them in a cramped starship and toss that starship into hyperspace and you’ll start to realize noisy doesn’t even begin describe it. Poor Hunter’s locked himself in the ‘fresher, of course Tech installed some sound dampening element to the audio relay in his helmet, but that can only do so much. Omega and Wrecker tried calming the animals to no avail, they’ve resorted to tossing bits of ration bars at them as – I’d say tasty, but eugh – edible bribes. Echo and Tech are arguing over something; it’s small, I think, but I’m too tired to step in and mediate right now. What was supposed to be a short flight felt like years.

“Never thought I’d be happy to be back here, but it sure beats being stuck in hyperspace with these things,” Echo says quietly, carefully lowering the crate in his arms, making sure not to wake the puffer pig that had just fallen asleep. I gently placed the crate I was holding right next to it, maybe when they wake up in this new place seeing one another will calm them down. Or they’ll freak out together.

“Between you and the puffer pigs, I must choose the latter,” Tech mutters, still snippy after the long journey, Echo and I turn to look at him in unison.

Echo’s expression is that of a brother who’s accustomed to that sort of teasing, flat and unphased. Mine, however…

“Hey,” I do my best to keep my voice down, “Not cool.”

Echo’s expression is no longer unphased. It is phased. There’s confusion, surprise, the hint of a smile; he seemed as tired as the rest of us before, but this clearly perked him up. Usually when I step in on these little disagreements I remain as unbiased as I can but I am now, very clearly, taking Echo’s side and now he’s visibly interested in seeing how this plays out. I know I still look hurt by the comment that wasn’t even about me. And Tech, his shift in emotion is visible, I could see him process his remark and my reaction, and his furrowed brows loosen as he looks between the two of us.

“You are correct,” Tech nods once, looking to his brother, “Apologies, Echo, I did not mean that.”

After a moment, a smile graces Echo’s face, “I’ll accept that apology.” And gives his brother a solid pat on the shoulder on his way over to the bar.

“I get grumpy-tired, too, I know how it is,” I bump him with my shoulder, an attempt to break a tension that was not there.

“You do not seem grumpy right now,” Tech breathes out a laugh.

I shrug, “Well maybe I’m not tired right now. Maybe I’m just–” My body decides this is the perfect time for an unsuppressable yawn. “Maybe I’m too tired to be grumpy-tired.”

Tech hums, “A valid theory, it seems.” With a tired chuckle and lazy nod I glance around the near-empty bar. Wrecker and Echo sit at the counter with their drinks while they recount the mission to Cid. Hunter’s setting up the cot for Omega, who is already beginning to fall asleep at Cid’s desk, before he joins his brothers. “I am going to head back to the Marauder and get some rest if you care to accompany me.”

“Yes, please, a quiet ship and sleep sounds like heaven right now,” He stands aside, allowing me to lead the way out of the parlor after saying goodnight to our squadmates.

The cool air of Ord Mantell is enough to keep me awake just long enough to carry myself back to the ship. I hear the ghost of a laugh beside me as another yawn takes hold of me. ��I fear you may have conditioned yourself, the sound of my voice alone seems to be putting you to sleep.”

Turns out I’m not too tired for a good laugh, “Yeah, keep talking and you’re gonna have to carry me the rest of the way.”

“I assure you, I was trained to carry men twice my size across the battlefield, I can manage.”

“Right,” I nod, later I’ll blame my dopey smile on exhaustion, “Hey, wait, why men twice your size?”

“It is standard protocol.”

“No, like, isn’t it a one size type of deal? Clones and all, y’know,” He stares blankly at me. “Well, yeah, a few exceptions, but broadly speaking it’s just the one size.”

“I see,” Tech says, and I’ve got this look like I just beat a holochess master, “Your exhaustion has caused a state of delirium. Perhaps this means I’m forced to carry you the rest of the way to best keep you safe.” A barked laugh escapes me at that. “Very well.”

Wait. “Wait! No, no, I’m good! I’m up! I’m awake!” And I am, very much so now as I pick up my pace to evade capture. After my laughter subsides I slow my steps to a walk, and Tech quickly catches up, as we traverse the familiar streets of Ord Mantell.

The Marauder’s ramp lowers with a hiss as we approach. “Dibs on the sonic,” I call over my shoulder as I scurry towards the refresher, Tech makes no protest and takes his time boarding the starship. Our water supply, while it is thankfully abundant these days, always seems to be stuck at the average human body temperature – no warmer, no colder – but at least the cycle itself doesn’t last long at all. A full-body shower only takes about three minutes in the sonic, Republic standard for conservation of resources and time between missions according to Tech. While it is efficient, I do miss a good boiling hot, thirty minute shower to tell the truth; I’d never tell the squad that, though, I’m grateful for what we’ve got.

The chime of my datapad sounded halfway through the sonic’s cycle and I emerge to find a message from Tech. A new audio file and a handful of recommendations. I dress myself with an all-too-giddy smile. After hastily gathering up my things from the ‘fresher I elbow the door control, ready to shout my thanks to the clone and surrender the now warm ‘fresher to him. Instead, however, I am met with the clone himself, standing in front of the doorway, datapad in one hand while the other is in position to knock on the now open door.

He retracts that hand quickly, though, he still looks as if he’s about to say something but nothing has come out yet.

I decide to take the lead. “Hey, thanks for the message. ‘Fresher’s all yours.” 

His parted lips form a smile. “I- you are welcome.” But when I exit the refresher and step to the side he makes no move to enter. “After reviewing a handful of files I found those to be most interesting, I hope this helps your experiment.”

My grin widens, “Thank you, Tech, it’ll definitely help.” He nods just once with a smile before retreating into the ‘fresher. Maybe I stared at the door just a second too long. Maybe I even let out a quiet little giggle before heading over to my bunk.

I can hear the sonic start as I finally turn in, scrolling through highlighted files on my datapad while I try to get comfortable on the flat old mattress pad which always proves to be an impossible task. My sights lock in on a file between two of Tech’s suggestions labeled “Repairs and Maintenance”. Do I already know the in’s and out’s of most starships? Of course. Do I still learn something new everytime Tech talks about the in’s and out’s of the Marauder? Of kriffing course. Perfect.

The sonic’s still running when I put my helmet on and hit play, and I’m promptly out like a light.

I wake with a stir when I feel something plush fall on my helmeted head and open my eyes to see a large hand reach down and grab the offending object. Wrecker whispers an apology as he gingerly retrieves his Lula after dropping her into my bunk. Still half asleep, I can’t decide if that sorry was for me or the doll. The guys are back.

With a quiet, sleepy groan, I roll onto my side and pull my knees to my chest, blindly reaching for the datapad behind me. Waking the device is a mistake as I am instantly shocked by its brightness, my eyes snap shut and I dim the screen. I’ve moved onto a new recording, it seems. This one is titled “Atmospheric Changes of Taccoh”, about five minutes in. Taccoh was one of my first missions with them, I remember my excitement at how well we worked together as a team. I’m not usually good on a team, but clicking with these guys was just easy. It just felt right.

“—they seem to be adjusting rather well to mercenary work. I must say, they are quite the knowledgeable mechanic and are proving to be a great asset to the squad. Wrecker’s comments on their romantic interest in me are, in my opinion, absurd. Though I would not be opposed to such interest, I find the probability highly unlikely. Their interest, as I’ve observed, lies both in their work and the pursuit of knowledge. Qualities I find most admirable, as well as —“

Pause.

The heart rate monitor on my dimmed HUD glows an ominous red as the number rises.

Oh god. Kriff. I found Tech’s kriffing diary.

I pry the helmet from my head, foregoing any attempt to fix my surely frazzled hair, still damp from the fresher, and swing my legs over the side of my bunk to sit up. My whole body is tense, my knuckles pale from the force of my grip on the durasteel frame. Fresh air. Yes. Fresh air would do me good right now, I’d say.

The room seems to spin as I fumble for my boots and the sheer volume at which my mind screams nearly drowns out Echo, half-asleep and confused, staring at me through squinted eyes from his bunk.

“You alright?” His tired voice repeats.

“Yes, yeah,” I answer, all too quickly, “just need some air, is all. You okay? You good? Sleeping okay?”

Echo’s brows furrow, he shifts slightly to face me properly, “I was,” he suppresses a yawn and I hurry up with my boots, “but then you shot up like you saw a ghost.”

My laughter is quiet but crazed, and I can barely hear it, “Ship’s not haunted, Echo, go back to sleep.” 

I stand to leave but the quiet call of my name stops me in my tracks, I turn to face the sleepy clone. “You sure you’re alright?” 

“I’m fine,” I try to make it sound convincing but I know it’s a sorry attempt, “really, get some rest. Be back soon.” His gaze remains fixed on me for a moment longer before he shuts his eyes, nodding before settling his head on the pillow once again. I let out a portion of a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding as I hurry out of the ship and into the crisp night air of Ord Mantel.

My feet take me to Cid’s. She shut the sign off but I can hear the jukebox from the street, no luck kicking out the regulars for the night, it seems. My feet then decide to take me down the stairs. Then to the bar.

“Great, I try to kick two out and a third appears,” the trandoshan huffs from behind the bar, “If you’re looking for dark and broody and the kid, they’re sleeping. Not sure how, these two bozos won’t shut up.” She shouts in the direction of the booming jukebox and patrons as she pours two drinks before sliding one to me.

“Hey, can I get your take on something?” I down the drink, extending the cup in a silent request. 

She glances tentatively first at my now empty cup, then at her own drink, before quickly finishing it to pour us each a second round. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Tell ya after I hear it.”

I laugh into my drink. “This stays between us.” She laughs into her drink. “Or I can just finish my free drink and leave.”

“Fine, fine. Between us.” She waves a dismissive hand. “But it better be interesting or these are going on your tab.”

My brows furrow, I nod just once before finishing my second drink, and the second the empty cup makes contact with the sticky countertop I blurt it out, “I listened to Tech’s diary.”

She waits for me to go on, I wait for her to be a voice of reason. Neither of us get what we’re looking for. “Alright, you found Goggles’ diary. And?”

“And?” I echo, incredulously. “I accidentally listened to some really, really personal stuff that I can’t un-listen to, what do I do? Do I tell him? What, do I say ‘Hey, Tech, so the learning by osmosis experiment was a bust but a little birdie — you, you’re the birdie — told me you had a big ol’ crush on me, for, like a while, so I just wanted to —‘ I don’t know what I want. Kriff, this is bad, isn’t it?”

Cid stares at me like I’m a three-headed mythosaur for what feels like hours, I try to calm my breathing, try to take a sip from my already empty cup. I’m only pulled out of my thought loop by the howl of Cid’s laughter. It even manages to pull Bolo and Ketch’s attention away from the jukebox, if only for a second. In all the time I’ve known her, I’ve never heard Cid laugh so hard. My look of shock remains even as her laughter subsides.

“Good one, kid. You almost had me for a second there.” She gently wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, but the laughter returns when she notices my expression is unchanged. “Oh, you’re serious?”

“Obviously I’m kriffing serious! Cid, I’m kind of in deep shit here, I need advice, I don’t need you laughing in my face!”

“Oh, relax, it’s not like you didn’t know. You idiots have been pining over each other from day one. Didn’t think Goggles would make the first move, though, I owe Muscles ten credits.” She mutters, though clearly still amused.

“I didn’t know! Force, how would I have known!” I put my head down on the bar with a sigh. “So, what, everyone knows and I’m just the last to find out?”

“Got it.”

All I can manage is a dramatic groan.

“Just talk to him, what’s the worst that can happen?”

I don’t even need to think about it, “I say exactly what I said before, weird him out, and go back to working by myself because he never wants to see me again.”

“Yeesh, try living a little sometime, kid. It’ll do you good,” Cid cringes into her cup, “Talk to him. Trust me.”

With a roll of my eyes I extend my empty cup one last time, Cid fills it without a word and I down the drink before leaving the empty glass on the bar as I stand, “Those were on you, I could’ve gotten better advice from Bolo and Ketch.”

“Can’t argue with you there, they’ve been together as long as I’ve known them,” She rinses out the empty cup and tosses it into the washer. “He’s crazy about you, kid. Just tell him how you feel.”

Cid’s words play on repeat in my mind as I wander the now empty city streets. Talk to him right, easier said than done. What if he’s not ready for a relationship? What if I’m not? We’re already so busy, will we really have the time? What if this changes our dynamic irreparably? What if I lose my closest friend?

It takes hearing someone call my name to pull me from what could’ve been an eternal thought loop. I’m back at Cid’s, a weary Hunter stands below the glowing sign, his arms crossed and he somehow looks both concerned and amused, “Going for a fourth lap around the block?” My lips part as if I could form a response but I come up short, opting to shrug instead. “Care if I join you?” I nod and we walk side by side, allowing silence to settle between us.

“Thought you were asleep,” I break that silence. Better to get it out of the way now, I figure I know where this is going.

“Not with all that noise,” Hunter lets out a deep sigh, he must know he could just power the damn jukebox down and get some rest. “I don’t know how Omega does it, that kid can sleep through anything.”

“She’s exhausted,” I let out a sigh of my own, “We all are.”

“Cid’s focused in on this puffer pig client, that’ll buy us some time to regroup, rest up.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Hunter nods, the silence that follows is not as easy or relaxed as earlier. He breaks it first, “I’m assuming you know what I’m about to say.”

“Yeah.”

“What’s the plan?”

“Talk, I guess. Can’t not now, huh?”

“That’s your choice,” He stops walking, catching me off guard, I stop a few paces ahead and turn to face him, “Never thought I’d say it, but I’m with Cid. The happiest I’ve ever seen him is when he’s talking to you. I get the feeling the same goes for you.”

I bite the inside of my lip, suppressing the smile that threatens to light up my face. Not the time. I nod, crossing my arms, “It does.”

“Good,” He smiles this warm, genuine smile before his serious sergeant demeanor returns, “Don’t let it get in the way of the job.”

“Copy that.” I give him a mock salute, to which his head drops with a tired laugh before his ears perk up. I raise my eyebrows in question as he turns his head in the direction of the parlor.

“Music’s stopped,” Hunter takes a step forward, extending an arm to pat my shoulder before retreating. “Get some rest.”

“Thanks, Hunter.” I give a little wave and watch as he retreats to the now quiet bar down the dimly lit street.

I begin my walk back to the ship, my mind still racing but not nearly as catastrophically quick as before my chat with Hunter. He’s probably still asleep, and I’m not planning on going back to the ship to wake him up and talk about this. My best bet would be to shoot him a message, ask if we could talk when he wakes up. Word travels too fast with these guys and the last thing I want is Wrecker bragging to his brothers about how he put his money on Tech and won. When I reach for my datapad I find the pocket is empty. Of course. I pick up the pace, almost frantically trying to recall whether or not I locked the device in my hasty departure. Odds aren’t looking great, though.

I take my boots off at the bottom of the ramp and tip-toe up in bare feet. Two out of the three men aboard are light sleepers and the last thing I want is to wake them as if I’m some teen sneaking back home after a party. Quiet as a mouse droid, I make my way back to my bunk as Wrecker’s snores reverberate through the durasteel walls. I’m greeted by my helmet, tossed haphazardly next to my pillow, but no datapad. Uh-oh. I glance into Echo’s bunk and find him sleeping, but the bunk above his, Tech’s bunk, remains empty. You’ve gotta be kriffing kidding me. Back to my tip-toes, I make my way to the kitchenette first, also empty, then the cockpit. The control panel is dimmed and all of the seats turned forward, if it weren’t for the tell-tale glow of a datapad screen I’d have thought Tech had simply vanished.

Without a word I join him, only releasing a quiet sigh as I sit in the copilot’s seat. He doesn’t look up from the datapad, its screen displaying the evidence of my discovery in bold text. “I didn’t intend to include such personal files.”

“Yeah, I didn’t intend to listen.” He nods before handing me my device, our gazes still not meeting. I take a turn staring at the display, rereading the title of the file over and over as I continue, “I fell asleep listening to ‘Repairs and Maintenance’, woke up to this one.”

“I, again, must sincerely apologize for any discomfort this finding has brought you, I was not planning to tell you in such an impersonal manner.”

“How did you…” I trail off, he was fast asleep when I left, I never pegged him for the type to pretend to be asleep and his quiet snores sounded so real.

“Echo woke me up, it was shortly after you had left. He said you appeared to be in a state of shock, I found you’d left your datapad open on your bunk.”

“That checks out.” Now that I’m here with him I can almost find the humor in the situation, I even manage a quiet laugh, “I’m sorry I flipped out, I just wasn’t expecting to wake up to that, I guess.”

He finally turns to face me, “You have nothing to apologize for.” “Neither do you,” I retort, meeting his gaze with a smile. I can almost see his thought process before his mouth forms an ‘o’ shape as he realizes the meaning behind my words. I continue, regardless, I heard him spill his guts, it’s only fair I do the same for him, “I feel the same way, Tech. I have for a while. Come to think of it, maybe I always have. Your feelings didn’t scare me, the possibilities did.”

He cocks his head in question, “Possibilities?”

“I’m scared of our dynamic changing, I’m scared I’ll kriff it all up and lose you. I’m no good at this kind of stuff and the last thing I want is for our relationship to suffer because of me,” I ignore the tears beginning to form in my eyes, turning my attention back to the viewport. Tech’s gaze, however, remains locked on me.

A hand reaches out, resting gently on mine, his thumb ghosting across my shaking fingers, “My darling, the fact that you are willing to voice these fears should be evidence enough that you have nothing to worry about. You contain a level of emotional intelligence that will never cease to amaze me. Should you choose to act upon these feelings, I assure you, we will be just fine.”

My eyes meet his, I don’t notice a tear has fallen until he reaches his hand up to wipe it away. When he notices how I lean into his touch, he cradles my cheek ever so gently, and I shut my eyes to savor the feeling, letting a warm smile wash away my worried frown. I rest a still-shaky hand upon his, opening my eyes to meet his once again, “What do you say we figure it out together, then?”

“A wonderful idea, darling,” Tech closes the small distance between us, placing a kiss upon my forehead. I can feel his smile. “However, I’ll need to review my files before you continue your experiment.”

I pull back, a look of faux shock on my face, too giddy to feel the real thing right now, “You mean there’s more?”

“Frankly, an embarrassing amount, perhaps we will review them someday but I’ve taken the liberty of deleting the more… risque files from your library.”

I’m glad the door to the cockpit is closed, otherwise the volume of my laugh surely would’ve woken both Echo and Wrecker, “Risque?!”

“I would greatly appreciate it if you refrained from mocking me,” Tech sighs, the mirth in his tone evident.

“Maybe that can be the next experiment,” I laugh with a smirk.

“Mocking me does not sound like an experiment I would have any interest in partaking in, thank you very–” His mild offense fades away in realization, “Oh. An interesting experiment, indeed.”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! As always, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated, I love hearing your feedback! Part two will be posted soon <3

[written-but-not-lost]

Safe with Me

Warning:

PTSD, Domestic Abuse, inferred age gap, sexually explicit acts

4,300ish Word Count

Premise:

Y/N wakes up from a flashback of an abusive ex, but Joel is there to comfort Y/N just like he has since he saved you from him.

A/N:

This story walks you through the progression of Joel x Y/N's relationship via multiple flashbacks that Y/N has. There is a lot of fluff filler, but as you progress in their relationship the more steamy it gets.

This is the first time that I am writing in years and the first time ever righting anything explicit.

If you want to get fucked up take a shot every time I write "You," Actually don't. You would probably die of alcohol poisoning.

If you would have been asked a year ago, you would have said that this kind of relief and full body relaxation that is rooted in feeling safe was unachievable, something made up in stories.

But the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and his woodsy fragrance from working as a carpenter, and the warm breaths that leave his nose and onto your head as he lets a slight snore escape- tells you that you were very wrong and ignorant back then. 

——

You were screaming, but you weren’t getting beaten. Not anymore at least..  Gentle hands made you open your eyes as they caressed your upper arm through an embrace. “I got you baby doll,” he shushed you. “I gotcha.”

You looked up at him. His soft brown eyes full of nothing but compassion. 

He was gentle and good. 

This wasn’t the monster you had been dreaming about nor was it your reality anymore, this was Joel- the man who had saved you from it all. 

He was the one to debilitate your ex and was the one to tend to your wounds the best he could as you waited for the first responders.

He was the man who, despite not knowing you, came to visit you almost every day while you were in the hospital, and the one who let you stay in in his house so you didn’t have to return to that nightmare house.

You stared at the house, unable to take your eyes off it. To anybody else it would just be a house. However, you knew better, that is where your ex-boyfriend Lucas had almost beat you to a life-less bloody pulp. The sound of his fists hitting your limp body echoed in your head, you were unable to move from where you sat. 

“You know - uh,” Joel started bringing you back to reality.“ I have an extra bedroom if you’d like to crash over at mine.” 

Would be staying with a complete stranger be wise? No. But… It beat having to relive what happened in this house everyday. 

You tried to picture entering the house again. How long would it take for you to move your feet and will yourself to open the front door? Would there still be blood in the kitchen where your last memory at this house was? Would you ever be free from the tightness in your chest that made you feel faint? Would you be able to face your neighbors with the shame, that only other survivors of DV can understand?

“Y/N?” Joel said resting a gentle hand on your own hand, you turned up to look at his eyes and gave him a nod.

——

Joel started as a stranger when you first moved in. You were very grateful for his hospitality and kindness, but you had reservations.  You were a shell of the woman you were when you first got in the relationship with Lucas, after six years you couldn’t just bounce back. It would take time and you knew that, your therapist made sure you understood that before she would let you leave the first session. But you couldn't help but wish for normalicy.

Flicking through the TV channels, you ended up landing on a romance movie from the 80's, Sixteen Candles. You let yourself get sucked into the movie, forgetting about the real world, even if it was for only a moment. You got to be Samantha as she came out of the church meeting Jake's gaze from across the street. After all this time wishing for his attention, you had it. You sat cross-legged in front of Jake on the window seat. He brought you a cake for the birthday everyone forgot about. Jake told you to make a wish and then leaned in for a kiss.

Then the credits began to roll, jolting you back to the real world. You couldn’t feel anything other than sadness.. You frowned craving a relationship as sweet as theirs. Before too long, hours had passed and you watched the most popular romance movies. You felt hollow, longing to be as happy as those women. Having what they had.

You let out a sigh.

"You okay?" Joel asked looking at you. You hadn't even noticed that Joel had joined you. He sat cross-legged on the other side of the couch with a blanket around his shoulders. How long had he been sitting there? How long had he been looking at you?

——

Overtime, the two of you became friends and began spending more time together. You would spend some afternoons with him as he worked. 

It was late fall and was beginning to get chillier out, but all the same Joel was on a client’s roof to overlay it. You were not ready to stay in Joel’s place alone yet. You knew it was safe, however your mind got the best of you with ever little creak and thud of the pipes as the house settled. 

You had been at this client’s house for roughly two hours so far today and his muscles flexed and glistened with sweat as he ripped off the old shingles. He had insisted that he didn't need a jacket while working despite the weather. Joel looked up from his work and caught you looking at him. Your eyes stayed locked for a moment before his phone began to ring. 

Joel skipped over any niceties and hissed into the phone, “Tommy, Where the hell are ya?” 

He listened for a minute before sighing and hanging up.

“Is everything okay?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“Tommy can’t make it again today so I have to pick up his slack,” Joel said frustratedly as he pushed his hair back.

“I’ll help.”

Joel couldn’t help but let a smirk cross his face, “Do you know anything about tools, baby doll?” 

“Of course,” you lied. You honestly didn’t, but you didn’t want Joel to know that. You were staying with him, the least you could do was to (attempt) to help him when he needed it.

He sat you up with some tools and went back to his section of the roof. You watched him lay shingles down and nail them in with ease. How hard could this be?

You tried to copy his movements, but when it came down to it you couldn't match it. The hammer was heavier than you expected and you nearly got your thumb while holding the nail in place.

Joel could tell you had never handled tools before, but he let you try for a few minutes before intervening. He told himself it was to avoid hurting your pride, but really he was entertained watching you struggle. Not in a sadistic way, of course, but he thought it was cute. The way that you stuck your tongue out the side of your mouth as you focused on trying to hit the nail.

"Ya' want some help there, darlin?" Joel asked teasingly after you struggled hitting the nail the last three swings. Instead, you'd do circles around the perimeter of the nail, hitting the roof.

"No," you said defiantly. "I got it."

"Okay," Joel said looking around the roof. "Let's call it a day once you hit that nail in. We can finish tomorrow."

"How does picking up tacos sound?" Joel asks as you both shut the truck doors after loading up the tools.

You smile, it's like he knew they were your favorite.

He smiles in return, "I know a place."

——

"No, but what makes these street tacos so special?" You ask curious. You didn't consider yourself a mexican-food-connoisseur, but you ate it enough.

"Just try the damn taco already," Joel growled at you. You had spent the whole car ride home trying to discredit his favorite tex-mex truck since it was a little sketchy.

You comply and take a bite, "Oh my god," you scream/moan after.

"Yeah?" Joel says a smile growing on his face.

You both burst into laughter.

"I am going to marry this taco."

"Get in line." Joel picks up his very own taco pinching the top with one hand and the other cups underneath catching any fallout. He brings it to his lips and opens. He slowly closes his lips around it as he takes a bite. You can't help but imagine his lips on yours. You notice that, his already large lips, come out a little more when he chews like he is pouting and receds to his normal position only to cycle back.

"Ya gonna stare at me the whole time or going to eat your fiance?" Joel teases seeing you watching him.

"Fiance?" you choke on the saliva you hadn't notice pooling in your mouth and feel your cheeks heating up.

"Your tacos?"

"O-oh yeah," you stutter and turn back to your plate. "My tacos.."

"I figured that's why I caught you drooling, right Baby doll?" Joel chuckles winking at you.

"Just watch the movie Miller," you mumble.

——

"Do you want some popcorn?" You ask Joel standing up from the couch. He nods in response not turning away from the movie that was playing. You'd never watched it before, but apparently it was a horror flick that just had a very slow start. You grabbed the plates as you make your way to the kitchen, making sure to wash them as the microwave did its magic.

It beeped and you were careful to not burn the shit out of your hands from the steam when opening the bag. Once it was poured into a large bowl, you made your way back to the living room.

"What did I miss?" you asked sitting next to Joel, listening to his explanation.. Wait. Was it just you or did the couch seem smaller now? There wasn't as much space between you two now. Within a few minutes, you wouldn't complain because not only was it getting chillier in the house now that it was well into the night, but you had to admit that this movie was scarier than you could handle. Had scary movies always had such realistic killings? The special effects made you feel like blood was splattering on you. Your stomach turned and you hated to think of what was going to happen to the friend's dog that was left in the backyard. No. NO!! It was so gruesome that you curled into Joel's chest, trying to shield your eyes from the horrors on screen. Though that wouldn't protect you from the sounds. Why did Joel have to have surround sound? You thought to yourself cringing at the sounds of the killer's blade finding yet another victim.

Joel felt bad that he had picked this movie, but you had agreed to it at first. He went to turn it off, but you stopped him not moving from hiding in his chest. You guided his hand onto your ear closest to the TV, "Make it stop."

He stared at you for a minute, unsure of what was happening but then he noticed your shuddering.

"Y/N?"

"Make it stop," you croaked out between tears. "Please"

He took his hand back and slowly moved it beneath your chin, raising it with his pointer finger so that you could look at one and other. He gave you a small closed mouth smile trying to reassure you, wiping your tears away.

"You're safe with me."

You gave him a smile.

Today was the first time that you had ever really noticed how attracted to Joel you were. He appeared at first glance to be rugged and standoffish. People who didn't know him would say he has RBF (Resting Bitch Face), but when you did... You knew how great his smile could be. You noted that his eyes lit up every time he smiled. His brown eyes reminded you of chocolate kisses. Kisses.. Your eyes wandered down to his lips. They were plump and moist. "Hmm", you wondered allowed. Was he the type to use chapstick regularly? You licked your lips subconsciously. You hadn't used chapstick all day.

You realized you were still staring at Joel's lips while thinking so you averted your eyes only to catch him still looking at you.

You stayed staring at one-and-other. Neither of you looking away.

How long had he been looking at you? Did he ever look away from earlier? If not, what was he staring at. But you swear his eyes were more dilated than just a few seconds ago. That might be because of the fading light outside. His eyes were simply adjusting to the light. yeah...

Movement caught your eye, Joel swallowed and his Adam's apple bobbed. Was he nervous about something? Could he really have been looking at you like you were him? You couldn't talk your way out of this..You had to know.

You closed your eyes and leaned in towards him and to your surprise, he met you halfway. He was gentle and sweet, something you had never had. You draped your arms around the back of his neck deepening the kiss. He in turn he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

Friends who kiss..

You thought that you had been keeping your nightmares a secret from Joel. Little did you know that after the first few sleep terrors, where you would wake up screaming, reliving the abuse you had endured while being with Lucas; Joel stayed up. He felt guilty for not knocking on your door and checking on you, but he wanted to give you space. He knew that if you wanted to talk about it you would come out of your room. Hell! If you ever needed him, all you had to do was call out and he would be there.

It became a nightly ritual for him to set a glass of water on the island in the kitchen for you, just incase you came out for water in the middle of the night after a night terror. It was a small act and at first you thought that it was an accident. Maybe Joel had just forgotten his glass? But after a week straight of a glass sitting on the island each night, you understood that the man who was normally great at cleaning up his dishes- was intentionally leaving that there for you.

——

"Joel!" You screamed one night from your room. You knew that it was just a night terror, but the scenario continued playing out in front of you when you woke up.

He came rushing into the room worriedly turning on the light, "Baby girl?"

You groaned as you felt a pain in your back and the burning that followed. Reliving the sensation of your last encounter with Lucas.

Joel could see your eyes were glossed over and tears were running down your face. He quickly went to the kitchen and returned with an icepack and the glass of water.

Joel sat next to you on the bed, "Here, place this under your armpit. I know it's strange, but ya' gotta trust me."

He helped position it and the cold snapped you back. You squealed dropping the icepack from your underarm. "Joel!"

He smirked, "there's my girl."

He handed you the glass of water and kissed your forehead.

Then, the friends who kiss turned into more. Y/N didn't have to beg too hard to get Joel to agree to share a bed with her. He knew that it would help with the night terrors and possibly stop them all together if they were lucky. At the very least he wanted to be there incase you needed him. He wouldn't admit it out loud but he loved you whole heartedly. There were nights when he couldn't sleep, so instead of counting sheep he would watch you. It kept him from feeling like the insomniac that he was. He noted that Y/N's night terrors went down dramatically in frequency now that you shared a room.

You had fallen asleep cuddling face-to-face with Joel, but after a few hours you rolled away from him. He didn't mind because you looked so peaceful. He wondered what you were dreaming about? Could he be in the dream?

You moaned in your sleep, "Mmm Joel." Joel's eyes widened shocked at first, but then it peaked his interest. So many different scenarios.

His head ran wild with possibilities.

Perhaps, your dream was about him finding you making him breakfast. He pulls you away from dishing the plates, lifting you onto the cold counter top. Grabbing your ponytail like it was a handle tugging down so you would be looking up at him as he crashed his lips upon yours.

His tongue would lick your lip asking demanding entrance into your mouth. His hands pawing at your breasts over your pajama top. You would try to flicker your tongue around but once he got your tongue in his mouth he would gently begin sucking on it causing you to moan. His hands would wonder down to your thighs and he would roughly spread them, he had so much pent up sexual energy.

He had wanted you since that first night that you stayed at his place when you came out of the bathroom in just a towel.. The towel barely fit around your body, your cleavage was prominent. Hair dripping wet and smelled like berries in the spring time. It was delectable. He tried to be polite and not stare, but even after a second of seeing that it was etched into his memory. His cock was throbbing at just the thought, but he wouldn't just ram into you.. No, no. Joel would show you just how much he wanted that sweet little pussy. He would make sure you knew how a real man acts.

He would slowly kiss up your thighs, passing over your panty covered cunt and kiss where your clit was.. lingering. Then work his way up the other thigh. Making you frustrated at the pace, he wanted your panties to be soaked.

When he was satisfied, he would grab a kitchen knife and cut away your panties. They were just in the way anyway and he could buy you new ones. After discarding them, he would scoot you closer to the edge of the counter and kneel before you. Taking in the view of your glistening pussy, his thumb would over your folds before finding your clit and rubbing small circles. He would watch as your back would arch in response to his touch. Your moans would be his currency and his goal was to be a fucking billionare.

His hand would then go to cup the inside of your thighs. His breath just centimeters away from your crotch, when his tongue would slowly begin to lap at your folds. You would know this wasn't his first rodeo. The house would be echoing with your pleads for more.

Or perhaps you were dreaming up another scenario.. One in which you started to rub your sweet lil' ass up against his cock as you cuddled in bed. He had a feeling you could be a brat by the way that you smiled at his from time to time.

He would let you have your fun, letting you feel his member enlarge against your ass. Then he would pull you up and onto his lap. "We have a problem, baby doll," he would growl at you.

He's sure that you would bat your eyelashes innocently, playing coy, "What's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong. You created it, now handle the situation."

"Is that we are calling it now," he could imagine your voice say teasingly. He couldn't but help pulling down his boxers as he could envision you stroking his cock. Slow and full length strokes making sure he was enjoying himself. Only to stop.

"Y/N," he'd warn, but you smirked and shimmied down maintaining eye contact the whole time as you began to kiss his cock. You could start at the tip, placing a gentle kiss and then go to the base of his shaft, that's where you would sloppily kiss up his member. Once you got back to the tip, suddenly you would take his cock into your mouth. Your tongue exploring the veins of his peter.

He had quickened his pace. Hand feverishly stroking his cock, he was so close. He so badly wanted to wake you up to reenact his fantasies or grab at your ass. But he didn't want to act upon these desires until he knew for sure that you were ready. He didn't want to cause you any more emotional turmoil or ruin the relationship that has been blossoming. So until you either told him yourself or initiated, he would get off solo.

——

You let your the tears fall and you collapsed into his chest, letting your walls come crashing down. You had tried so hard the last twelve months to sweep what had happened on Laney Dr out of your mind, but it kept creeping back in every now and again, especially since the anniversary was right around the corner. 

"Shhh, Baby," Joel said rubbing your back. "You're safe with me. I won't let nobody get ya'."

Hearing that you relaxed a bit, you knew he was telling you the truth. But tears still escaped and ran down your cheeks.

"C'mere," Joel said softly.

You looked up at him sniffling. His hand gently wiped the tears away and he kissed where they had been, your forehead, and finally your lips.

You didn't mind a distraction. Not that you ever needed a reason to kiss Joel.

Tonight though, you wanted to get lost with him. Run away from your thoughts. You needed him.

You pushed him back against the headrest of the bed and straddled him, not daring to break the kiss.

Joel placed his hands on your hips pulling you closer to him wanting more, but you broke your lips apart from one-and-other. Instead, beginning to leave a trial of kisses hickies down Joel's neck until you landed on his Adam's apple. You could feel his cock grow beneath you.

"Y/N," Joel whispered causing you to return to his eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Baby Doll?"

If you weren't set on having sex with Joel tonight, him using his pet name for you sold the deal. Something about the way he said those two words strung together was addictive and you need more.

Instead of using your words, you replied with actions. Your shirt was thrown to the floor half haphazardly. Momentarily leaving your spot on Joel's lap to take off your pj shorts. Leaving your panties for Joel to remove since he didn't get the pleasure of taking off your bra (you sleep without one).

Joel's jaw is slack. He is in awe staring at you, taking you in completely.

"This is the part you are supposed to undress," you tease in a hushed tone. Joel didn't need to be told twice, but in order to undress he needed you off him. He bucked his hips up and flipped the two of you so now the roles were reversed.

Joel was already shirtless, but his sweatpants had to go. The normally baggy sweats were tight with his rock hard cock present. As soon as he tugged them down, his gigantic cock was unleashed.

You noted that Joel sleeps commando, making sure to keep that in mind for later.

"What do you want mama?" Joel asked as he returned to the bed kissing on your neck.

Before you could respond, Joel was leaving a trail of wet kisses down your body, making you go braindead. He knew exactly what you needed.

He stopped at your breasts taking one nipple in his mouth sucking softly and gently biting. The other he held in his hand softly massaging it and rubbing the nipple.

After a minute he returned to kissing, he gently opened your legs. Kissing outside-in your thighs before going to your core. He gently kissed your clit before his tongue started performing an exorcism on you. His hands held your hips steady against his face. Your moans only encouraged him more and it was so hot that he was moaning into you sending vibrations up your core. Shivers went down your spine and you knew you were close, but wanted to hold out for Joel.

"Imma cum," you stutter out.

"Cum for me, Baby Doll," Joel growls in a voice octave lower than normal into you.

Hearing his voice primal, you couldn't help yourself. The white hot flames engulf you. Eyes rolling to the back of your head. Toes curl and your body is convulsing with pleasure.

Joel laps up your juices happily.

"I love you," you say breathlessly before even having time to think about what you just said. You mean it, but was it too early in your new relationship to admit it?

"I love you too, baby."

No, Joel felt the same way. You both probably had felt this way for a while, but with healing still being a major part of your life right now, you can understand why it took so long to get here.

That night you were able to cuddle up to Joel and as you were drifting off to sleep you realized..

If you would have been asked a year ago, you would have said that this kind of relief and full body relaxation that is rooted in feeling safe was unachievable, something made up in stories.

But the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest and his woodsy fragrance from working as a carpenter, and the warm breaths that leave his nose and onto your head as he lets a slight snore escape- tells you that you were very wrong and ignorant back then.

This post was because I had a very talented and supportive friend say I should get back into writing, @elvinaa. Thank you so much, I love ya.

Please feel free to message me about any feedback or requests. :)

[auspicetaker]

just read the daily beast article about the dissolution of red guards austin and i have some thoughts and feelings

I LITERALLY REMEMBER BEING IN [REDACTED ORG] AND BOTH NERVOUSLY LAUGHING AT AND MOCKING THE PERCEIVED ADVENTURISM AND ULTRALEFTISM OF RED GUARDS WHILE ALSO BEING GENUINELY ENVIOUS OF THEIR PERCEIVED STRUCTURE AND DISCIPLINE .... and holy shit am i glad we didn't get far enough to truly replicate that structure. we tried.

i mean, i definitely lived a slightly less extreme version of what's described in the article - losing out on sleep and sacrificing all of my free time for the organization. but damn am i glad that old school MLs don't do the "public humiliation struggle session" thing as a form of political practice!

something i picked up on in the article is the misogyny - that women in general were called upon to do domestic and behind the scenes work and men were viewed as leaders. even as they tried to, on paper anyway, punish men for slights against women, they replicated the same power dynamics found in mainstream society. no fucking way im soooo shocked. and then this from the very end of the article:

idk i feel really fucking sad when i think about it all. i hate that my only recourse upon leaving the org was to bow out of existing politically or publicly pretty much indefinitely. i hate the jeering spectacle that liberal rags like daily beast make of these cultic orgs and dynamics, it very much feels like "that's what you get for believing in the delusion that communism can ever win, vote blue no matter who". i hate my own passivity and relatively apolitical existence in the wake of my disillusionment with the org which was fucking five years ago. i don't know what political work looks like outside of that framework. im embarrassed that i don't know how to get back there. i believed so sincerely and when i lost that belief i lost hope and i lost innocence and i became unable to trust anyone or anything. fuck! it's a weird grief.

anyway it was objectively pretty funny when they did the pig head stunt even if i can't rly match their fervor against the dsa anymore, that was peak red guards austin, To Me .

i certainly don't blame the ex members for talking about their experiences to the daily beast but reading the coverage reminded me of why i never tried to Sell or Publicize the story of what happened to me and what happened to the org, because i cannot stand the prospect of a bunch of Biden Harris 2024 people clucking their tongues and saying "oh what a shame the Crazy Political Cult is so Dangerous". no matter how much i hate [redacted org] and i hate them a lot I'll never feel comfortable doing that.

[sageywritings]

Memory Lane

Dash has had nothing but time on his hands to think. Was it his arrogance that got him here? Did he deserve this? Is there even a way out for him and Dawn at this point?

The next installment of my RWBY oc fic Flames of Change as we continue to go through Sienna's time in the White Fang. Make sure to read up on Home Invasion, Always Forward, Back to the Streets, and Home Turf!

Team DASH belong to me.

Sienna Umberon belongs to @gruntnuker-rwby and @wetsliceofbread

“You fought excellently. It’s a shame that substandard school doesn’t let you pick your teammates. Then you wouldn’t have that faunus street punk holding you back.”

In an instant, the warmth of pride escalated into a blood boiling rage. The satisfied smile disappeared, the shoulders that were back hunched forward slightly as his muscles tensed. Dash’s grip on his phone tightened. He wished he had the strength to snap the phone in two. At least then the conversation would be over.

To qualify for the Vytal Festival was already a great feat. But to actually lead your team to victory in it was on entirely another level. All of the training, everything they had learned, all led up to this one tournament. So to see Team DASH’s names in lights, victorious over Haven Academy’s Team SPHR in their first round matchup, it was a feeling that for Dash even superceded his best baseball accolades. Before coming to Beacon, all he had heard from “friends” of the family was how he should reconsider and how he had not just one but two already set paths waiting for him at home. This was vindication. A confirmation that leaving Atlas for Vale - and leaving both baseball and his family “legacy” - was the path for him. He knew those doubters were all watching now.

However, he also knew everyone was still watching when his team was eliminated in the duos round. Despite some stellar teamwork, he and Auburn were ultimately defeated by another team representing Haven. He walked off the floor of the Amity Arena, keeping his head down from the thousands in attendance watching on, though most were focused on the winners’ celebrations. If baseball ingrained one thing in Dash, it was that no athlete wanted to settle for anything less than first place. As team leader, he felt like he owed that to his team. He mentally dissected every move like it was a baseball film study. Every positioning error, every slight pivot that left him open for a mere second, every potential mistake. And as he glanced over his shoulder to see Auburn with her fox ears slicked back and a slight scowl on her face, he could tell she was doing the same.

Sapphire was the first to greet them upon entering the locker room. She barely let them through the doorway before wrapping them both in a tight hug, not caring about the sweat they had just worked up. Both felt compelled to return the favor, although with varying degrees of enthusiasm. After several moments and a shower of compliments, she finally let them free.

“I am so proud of you guys! You were even more awesome in that round than our first one!” she said. She stepped back, making way for Solomon, with his hood down and his signature beloved headphones around his neck.

“That performance was nothing to be ashamed of. As close as it gets,” he said. While he lacked Sapphire’s raw upbeat energy, his message was just as genuine. Neither the Atlesian redhead nor the Vacuoan brunette were moved.

“Shouldn’t have been close at all,” Auburn finally spoke up, her voice barely more than a low growl. Her arms were folded across her chest as she removed her fingerless gloves. Her eyes remained pointed downward to the floor. “If I didn’t lunge to go all in, I wouldn’t have left us both wide open. It’s my fault!” She beamed one of the gloves at the stack of lockers to her left. It collided with one of the doors with a soft yet distinct clank sound.

“You had him on the ropes, Auburn. If you didn’t take that chance, he might not have given it to you again,” Solomon calmly replied.

“It was sloppy! Been fighting my whole life and I go out and make a rookie mistake when everyone’s watching?!” Auburn’s arms lowered to her sides with fists clenched so hard they were shaking. “Fucking my fault I left Ospreay in a 1v2!”

“No.” Dash’s stern interjection snapped all three of his teammates’ attention to him. He met all of their looks with one of firm assurance. “We win and lose as a team. As your leader, I accept responsibility. There was a lot I coulda done bet-”

“Oh spare me the clichè crap you know that bullshit isn’t gonna make me feel better right now!” Auburn interrupted.

“Hey don’t take this out on me I’m trying to-”

Dash was interrupted again but this by a soft, chiming ringtone emanating from his pocket. It was a sharp contrast to Auburn's impassioned flare. A feeling of dread began welling up inside his chest nonetheless. He really didn't want to have to hear from him. Not right now. When he fished the phone out of his pocket, his feelings only worsened as he read only one word on the caller ID, the last word he wanted to see: Dad. That meant Dash had to brace for whatever speech about letting down the Ospreay name awaited from the other side of the call. On the third ring, he felt the slight solace of Sapphire's hand on his shoulder, as she couldn't help her curiosity and had looked over his shoulder to see who was calling. With a deep breath, Dash swiped to accept.

"Hello?"

"Son! That was a brilliant performance! Mom and I are so proud of you!" The voice of his father caused him to jolt a little in surprise. A welcome surprise, at least. It was one that didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the room. Solomon and Sapphire exchanged perplexed glances before turning back to their leader to keep reading his body language.

"Wow, thanks Dad," Dash responded. "If I had been a bit more patient out there, we would've had it won." But, his dad continued on almost as if he did not want to hear it.

“You fought excellently. It’s a shame that substandard school doesn’t let you pick your teammates. Then you wouldn’t have that faunus street punk holding you back.”

And there it was. The regret of answering the call was washing over. But, this was worse. He was prepared for his dad critiquing him. He had been used to that most of his life. But his friends?

"What?" was all Dash could muster to say.

"Such a shame, really. A true testament of how good of a leader you are, though. I saw your first round fight. Between that wastelander and that techie who didn't want to fight, I don't know how you did it. I liked that blue haired girl though. She looked like a doll, she looked the part-.." His dad kept talking but Dash didn't receive any of his words. It was just all muffled background noise. It was like the anger was shutting all of his senses off. That is, every sense except his speech, and all the filters that programmed him to keep quiet in his dad's presence were tossed aside.

"Shut the fuck up," Dash said. This stopped the voice on the other end dead in its tracks.

"Excuse me?? What did you just say to me??" his father fired back incredulously with rising temper after a moment to process.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." He repeated it, this time slower, as if his father was too stupid to comprehend. It made each word sink in and become that much more potent. He could hear his father stammer for any meaningful response, but again Dash cut him off.

"Let me tell you something. And you're going to actually listen, not just shut me up like you used to do at the dinner table. I'm going to teach you a thing or two about Team DASH. That 'doll' isn't just eye candy. She's the sharpest shot Beacon has to offer. And that shy boy? Under the hood, he's got the resourcefulness and the tech prowess to shut down half the world if he wanted. And that 'faunus street punk'?" That phrase instantly shot Auburn's ears straight up. She marched toward Dash with an enraged look on her face before trying to swipe the phone out of his hand. The only reason she missed was because Sapphire intervened by holding her back and clasping a hand over her mouth.

"She's the toughest person I've ever met and it's not even close. There's no one else I'd rather have to back me up in a fight. So you see, Beacon gave me the best damn tools possible. And if I can't win with those tools, then that's on me as a leader. So if you wanna blame somebody, blame me. Cause you will not blame my friends." Without a second's notice, he denied any chance of a rebuttal and hung up. Then with an angry scream, he spiked his phone on the floor. The only thing keeping it from shattering into pieces was Solomon's custom modifications.

Dash sat down on a bench and put his head in his hands. His stomach ached as his heart sank past it. His pulsating temples caused his head to throb. All he could think about was how those comments would come to bite him. The hand he was tethered to would eventually drag him back home, back to the line he was forced to walk for so long. However, a tender hand landing on his thigh ceased his anxiety fueled spiral. He raised his head just enough to see Sapphire offering him a gentle, sympathetic smile. Solomon was sat across from him, nodding his head softly as if he was processing Dash’s words still. Auburn, leaned against a wall by herself, arms folded and fox ears down.

“So. Sharpest shot at Beacon, huh?” Sapphire finally broke the deafening silence. She hugged the resident “number 1” as tight as she could to where his head was resting against her. “Well I can speak for all of us when I say we’re just as lucky to have you.” Dash did not have the energy to reciprocate the hug or even say anything, perhaps a first for the young Ospreay. He just remained motionless with an overwhelmed and dumbfounded look on his face.

“That was some high praise, brother,” Solomon spoke up next. “I know to you he might just be your dad, but you just stood up to one of the most powerful men in Remnant for us. Thank you.”

“Was it that big of a deal?” Dash said.

“A strong man stands up for himself, but a stronger man stands up for others.” Before Solomon’s wisdom could linger in the air for too long, Auburn meandered her way toward the others, arms still crossed. After a few painful moments of Auburn’s crimson eyes peering directly into his soul, she outstretched a hand toward Dash. He responded in kind, and Auburn pulled him up so they were face to face.

“You’re not the daddy’s boy you were when we first met after all,” Auburn said. A soft but proud grin crept over her face. Her ironclad grip on Dash’s hand didn’t waver. She then pulled him again, this time into a brief embrace, marked by a pat on the back at the end for good measure. It was probably as long of a hug as she’d allow herself to anyone but Sapphire. But, to Dash it meant the world. While the two had gradually gotten away from each other’s throats and learned to coexist over the past several months, this was the ultimate confirmation. Solomon was right. This was a big deal. He may have said to Dash he was “just dad,” but that made it so much more meaningful. It felt like the first time he had ever stood up to his father. It felt like the Dash that Auburn, Solomon, and Sapphire had gotten to know over long missions or late nights in the dorm had finally taken his first step out into the world. It was the first decision in becoming not the man he was destined to be, but the one he wanted to be.

A decision that Dash Ospreay had a lot of time to think about lately.

As his eyes strained open, first the fingers on his outstretched hand came into focus against the backdrop of the gray ceiling above, then his hand, then the rest of his arm. He rolled over in the cot he had been confined to for the past… who knows how long it’s been. Couple weeks, maybe? In fact, calling it a cot was generous. Soldiers in bootcamp had better. As he rolled over and slowly sat up, he tried to mask the grimace of pain. It had dulled into a constant soreness instead of the sharp stabbing feeling, but it was still painful nonetheless. He peered through the bars of the holding cell he was forced to call home. All there was of note was a white haired rabbit faunus, eyes concealed under a White Fang mask, filing her nails. The only thing sat on the small table next to her was a silent radio. Her legs were crossed and her lips were pursed. Last thing Dash needed to do was disturb her. She was displeased enough.

Dash laid onto his back once more, taking into account any creaking from his “bed”. With a soft sigh, he closed his eyes and resumed his indulgence in reminiscence. Not like there was anything better to do. Left to its own devices, his brain analyzed on loop every decision, every interaction that brought him here to his cell. There was one in particular that he found himself coming back to more often than most. It happened a week before the Vytal Festival as students from the other academies were converging on Beacon. Felt like a lifetime ago to Dash.

Fresh off a training session with a team from Atlas, Dash strolled through the courtyard of Beacon. It was what he and his team called their first “dress rehearsal” of the week, a gilded opportunity to get some practice against other schools within the same arena setting they would be in for Vytal. He walked with that satisfying soreness after a good, hard workout. As he passed by, he noticed a fairly large congregation at the heart of the courtyard. At first, he thought nothing of it. There were plenty of events put on by the academies to have their students intermingle prior to the main festivities. So, he plugged in his earbuds and kept on his way. But, the booming voice couldn’t be drowned out by any music.

“No longer should we have to share the spotlight with humanity when humanity is not interested in sharing!” He removed one earbud and skirted around the outer edges of the courtyard. Through the sunlight he could see a tiger faunus at the center of all the commotion with megaphone in hand. As Dash scanned through the crowd, he couldn’t help but notice one thing. Every other person there was also a faunus.

“Huh? What’s this guy on about?” Dash thought to himself. “Plenty of faunus are about to have the spotlight in the tournament. Is this guy even a student, who let him in here?”

“No more being treated as second-rate citizens for the circumstances of our birth! No more cages! No more slums!” The crowd was reacting with varying degrees of keenness to the man’s words. Some gave out impassioned rallying cries, while others were more tepid and unsure. "The richest families in Remnant flaunt their wealth off our backs! Wealth that we were forced to generate just for our mere right to exist  It's time they learned our plight!" The energy in his speech was reaching a fever pitch right as a group of teachers from different schools began intervening and breaking up the affair. The audience began to disperse, so Dash took the opportunity to make himself scarce. He couldn’t afford the wrong faunus zealot seeing him. But, as the front row of the spectators finally made their exit, Dash spotted the familiar fox tail of Sienna Umberon swaying as she grumbled more than loudly enough about being forced to leave.

“Yo, Sienna,” Dash waved to flag her down when she got close enough. While their teams were good friends, he and Sienna mixed like water on an oil fire. However, he was half hoping that by leaving with her, he could make it back to the dorm in peace. “What was all that about?” Dash asked as the two began walking side by side.

“A pro-faunus rally,” she answered matter-of-factly.

“Coulda fooled me,” Dash said with a dismissive chuckle. “It sounded like some White Fang recruiting rhetoric. Trying to use all the schools being together to brainwash even more faunus students.” Sienna’s ears shot straight up. She stopped in her tracks. The ends of her lips curled downwards into a scowl she couldn’t repress.

“Brainwashing? That’s all you think it was? You don’t think everything he said up there was legit?”

“Oh c’mon. He’s talking about faunus not having the “spotlight” when you’re literally going to have the world watching you fight in the tournament.”

“So one week every couple years is supposed to make up for the rest of the abuse and racism and mistreatment?” The tip of Sienna’s tail was beginning to flip sparks. But, Dash stubbornly held his ground, arms crossed. “And what about the ones who can’t afford to go to huntsman school because they get paid less than dirt? Where’s their spotlight?”

“This random dude comes in here sounding like he’s borderline trying to incite violence, and you’re gonna sit here and vouch for him,” Dash growled.

“Apparently that’s the only way we can get any fucking change around here!” The blaze in her voice suddenly spiked before lowering once more. But, every word burned nonetheless. “So what if I agree? Maybe you need some violence. See what it’s like in our shoes.”

“You really don’t think I know the target that’s on my family’s back? The White Fang have been sending threats to us since I was a kid. I read the letters promising to kill my 5-year old sister personally. So I don’t wanna hear anything about some White Fang bullshit!”

“Oh boohoo, you can curl up and cry in your 30 bedroom mansion. Good for you your sister was threatened. Ask any faunus and they’ll tell stories of what humans do to us. It’s more than just threats. You wouldn’t last a single day with the life I had to go through.”

“You think that’s justice?! All these faunus want change? It starts with you!”

“How many families have to suffer so yours can sleep good at night?!?”

A clanging on the bars of his cell dragged Dash out of his anxiety-induced daydreaming when the heavy footsteps approaching that preceded it could not. It forced him to marinate on Sienna’s question a little bit longer. He barely cracked his eyes open to see an imposing ram faunus, the same one he encountered at the party, with bandages wrapped around his forehead. Guess there was no love lost. Like there was any love to begin with.

“I know you’re awake, silver spoon,” he bellowed. Dash didn’t even flinch. He didn’t care if the guard knew he was awake. He just wanted to avoid any chance of interaction. Anything Dash said or did was used as ammunition against him, any small step out of line would be punished. A lesson he had to learn the hard way over the past couple weeks. “Fine,” the ram growled, “let’s see if you’ll move for this.” With a small click, he heard the radio fizzle to life with a woman’s voice.

“Breaking news out of Atlas, Tone Ospreay is set to begin a press conference any second now with an update on the whereabouts of his two missing children.”

Dash shot straight out of bed despite his pained body angrily protesting at the sharp movement. No information had trickled down to him on even if his father had tried to contact the White Fang. Were there some kind of negotiations going on? Were the Fang refusing his every offer? Surely there had to have been some effort in trying to get him and Dawn out of here. The ram’s snide cackle at Dash’s sudden attentiveness was drowned out by the flood of rapid camera shutters and the bombardment of reporters’ questions before Tone had even taken his place.

“Thank you all for coming.” The familiarity of the methodical industrialist that Dash would see in news articles and interviews, as opposed to the man Dash saw at his games, came through the radio feed. “We have been working tirelessly in conjunction with every special force Atlas has at their disposal. We have been at it basically 24/7 investigating all the leads we can.”

“Have you made any contact with White Fang officials regarding negotiations?” a reporter interrupted.

“I have not personally spoken to anyone, no. I have tried to send envoys representing Ospreay Industries, but all of my attempts were rejected. They say they will only speak to me directly, but I have no desire to negotiate with terrorists.”

“Do you feel like it is a potential race against the clock to ensure your children come back alive?” the same reporter came in again.

“Yes, of course, I feel that immense pressure. I want nothing more than to have Dash and Dawn back safe. All I will say for now is we have information that leads us to believe they are still alive.”

“Will this spark any changes regarding treatment of faunus in your factories?” another reporter asked, barely allowing Tone to finish his sentence. There was a brief but poignant pause. Dash could vividly picture his dad adjusting his suit to collect his thoughts.

“No. If they wanted change, then they wholly went about it in the wrong way. Faunus like to clamor for change and say that it takes all of us to do it, but it starts with them. These crimes they commit, the riots at my facilities the past couple weeks, kidnapping people, it’s on them. They think the entire world is owed to them.”

“So you have no response to any of the criticisms your company has fac-”

“I had to work for everything I have today. Why don’t faunus think they have to do the same? Like I said, they think the world owes them something, and for what? Because they don’t want to work like I did to make Atlas the best it can be? Because they hate humans and try to deflect that onto us?” More questions began to pour in, so much so that nobody could interpret one from another. But the last thing Dash heard his dad say was, “That’s all the information I have to share today, thank you.” And as quickly as it came, the deluge of press was replaced by the same news broadcast that started it all.

“We believe they’re alive, huh?” the ram yelled at the radio in a mocking voice. “You know we can change that in an instant, right Toney??”

“Why the fuck are we still babysitting them to begin with? I guarantee you there’s a buyer out there that can give us more money for their heads than he can alive!” the rabbit girl finally spoke up, tossing the nail file aside onto the table.

“You know the drill. Boss wants them alive. She wants casualties to a minimum, and this one does keep giving us info. Besides, not many people are going to be able to match Ospreay money. She’ll be back from Vacuo in a few days. We’ll talk with her about what she wants to do then.” Everything being said was registering to Dash faintly, almost like he was underwater. Even the ram’s taunting at Dash’s maniacal, fire-wielding captor fell on mostly deaf ears. Tone’s words, echoes of his own, reverberated.

“He… hasn’t called? He shouldn’t be negotiating, he should be giving them what they want! Do what you have to get us out! Not even for Dawn…?” As the two Fang foot soldiers wobbled back into focused view, Dash could really hone in on the expression of outright disgust on the rabbit faunus. All of a sudden, instead of reflecting on the past like he had spent so much time doing lately, a flash of a plausible, very plausible future crossed his mind and paralyzed him with a terror never felt before.

“I’m… I’m going to die here.”

[minileena]

Zookeeper - part 7

CW: Manipulation

prev - next

I laid my soul bare on the page of the sketchbook.

This piece was a lot more abstract than my other ones. I couldn’t really describe the visuals, save for the fact that it represented how I felt.

Specifically, it represented how I had been pondering the ethics of what I was doing to Evelyn.

I did consider her a peer. A friend. How could I not? She was the only person in three years who treated me like… maybe not an equal, not quite yet, but more than a mindless rodent. And after our conversation the night before, she might even start seeing me as a person.

So if I considered her a friend, what were the ramifications of the fact that I was trying to manipulate her into setting me free?

Because yes, that is absolutely what I was doing. I was exploiting emotional vulnerabilities and sowing the seeds of doubt and guilt with very clear intentions. I purposely gave her an existential crisis so that she’d go to bed the following night and not be able to sleep, kept awake with feelings of guilt and shame for the role she played in my incarceration and the stripping of my personhood and dignity.

But, like, is that even a morally incorrect thing to do? Because while yes, the feelings of regret I was working on implanting in her would hurt her, didn’t she kinda have it coming? I wasn’t really manipulating her so much as I was showing her what she was truly doing to me.

…With malice aforethought.

Did the fact that I felt bad about it mean anything, at least? Like, did my guilt mean that I was just a good person forced to do something kinda fucked up to get out of a situation I’d been unwittingly thrown into? I supposed so, but I was absolutely still using her, and with the intent to fuck with her emotional state, at that.

I supposed that not being in a situation where I could reasonably hope to avoid manipulating Evelyn didn’t necessarily mean that I wanted to hurt her. It just meant that I was aware of what I was doing and the reactions that my actions would evoke. That’s okay, right? That’s not wrong. It’s not unethical to be aware that a slight quiver in my voice would increase her sense of pity and therefore her guilt at her involvement in my situation. It would only be wrong if I abused that.

…Which, uh. I guess I am actively doing in an attempt to escape.

A harsh line I drew on the page snapped the tip of my pencil lead off.

Whatever. Sin first, ask for forgiveness later. I needed out of this fucking cage.

The zoo was closing in a bit. Or maybe it was already closed. I didn’t have a clock in here. Either way, Evelyn would come soon.

Right on cue, I heard the door open. I didn’t turn to face her, instead letting out a casual grunt of acknowledgment as I continued drawing. If I displayed hope, affection or any sort of sadness after our conversation last night, all it would do is crank up the feelings of guilt, and they were already at acceptable levels for my purposes. Nonchalance was the best move here. It would make her see me less as a charity case she was responsible for—that would be bad, as humans tend to just avoid those situations entirely for the sake of their own comfort—and more of a friend in need, which was what I was going for.

The sigh that followed was not Evelyn’s.

My brows furrowed and I turned to glance at the human that had just entered the door.

Jasper.

Shit.

Oh, fuck, it was too late. I went too far with the guilt last night. She felt so bad that she decided she’d rather just leave the situation entirely, wash her hands of it and quit her job so she wouldn’t have to think about me anymore. Fuck, I KNEW I should’ve waited another day so that I could foster more affection. I got impatient and made my move too early.

Okay. Okay, um… m-maybe that’s not what happened. Don’t jump to conclusions. I have time to think about this before immediately resorting to mindless panic.

I have nothing but time.

I closed my sketchbook and laid all my spare pencil leads atop the cover, sitting and fiddling with the pages as Jasper walked over and bent down to be eye level with me. I didn’t meet his gaze.

He flicked the glass and I couldn’t keep myself from flinching.

Fuck, I really needed to work on that. If I’m so weak that I can’t lift more than a couple dozen grams, I should at LEAST be able to master my emotions and reactions.

He chuckled at my weakness before poking around my tank, feeling for holes or tools. There weren’t any. I didn’t need a ladder out of my cage now that I had Evelyn.

His inspection led him to my sketchbook, and he wordlessly picked it up and started leafing through the pages. He stopped on the abstract one I had just been drawing.

“This one’s shit,” he muttered to himself as he tossed it back down into my cage. I had to jump out of the way to avoid getting hit by it on its way down.

Fucking Jasper.

Oh, god, I don’t wanna go back to this… I really, really want Evelyn back.

“What happened to Evelyn?” I managed to work up the courage to ask.

Jasper snorted. “Yeah, I bet you would miss her. She probably treated you like a little princess.”

I opened my mouth to reply with a snarky comment, but stopped myself. I actually had hope now. A friend. Pissing off Jasper was just something I did to entertain myself back when I had nothing else to do and nothing else to lose. I stayed quiet.

He didn’t answer my question.

I noted the use of past-tense. ‘Treated.’ Not ‘treats.’ If he had said she ‘treats’ me like a princess, then she’ll eventually be back. Past-tense meant that she was either gone, or Jasper only meant that she treated me like a princess these past few days. So… I gleaned no information.

I wanted to ask again, but was ashamed to admit that I was too scared to.

If nothing else, Jasper was right about one thing—the game I was forced to play here was one of dominance. I saw weakness in Evelyn and exploited it for my own gain.

Jasper had no such weaknesses.

I was scared of him.

I stayed still as he cleaned my water bowl and refilled my food stock. He left not long after, and I released a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.

I really, really want Evelyn back. Please let her come back tomorrow.

…

Tomorrow came, and Jasper’s face greeted me once again.

prev - next

[cambion-companion]

Only One Bed

What are we gonna doooo? haha love this trope.

Word count: 950

Aemond x reader | fun and getting tangled up with the prince | no content warnings | pre-relationship which leads to awkward hilarity |no more beds! No other options! What a shame

“You said there are no other accommodations?” You said, looking at the small room and singular bed.

“No, my lady.  It is the festival season; this is the last available room in a thirty-mile radius at least.” The landlord bowed to you and your companion apologetically.

Aemond looked over at you, his eyebrow raised, a slight quirk upon his lips. “We can always keep searching.”

“We’ve been at it for hours, Aemond.”  You shook your head, turning to give the innkeeper several large coins. “Who suggested we come here again?”

“Aegon.”

“Little shit.”

Aemond chuckled, allowing you to enter the bedroom before he followed. “Careful, Y/N, that’s your king you speak of.”

“He’s a royal pain, sending us both here in the middle of the busiest season of the year.”

“You’ll get no argument from me.”  The prince’s eye twinkled as he tried to disguise his mirth.

The both of you settled as best you could within the cold room, there was no fireplace, no space for a wardrobe.  You set your bag at the foot of the rickety looking bed, your gaze falling upon Aemond who lingered by the doorway.

“I will sleep upon the floor.”  He said dutifully, avoiding your gaze.

“Don’t be absurd, Aemond.  It’s freezing.”  You held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. “I won’t be hearing an argument.  You are not sleeping on the dirty cold floor.”

“If you insist so vehemently, who am I to decline.”  A small smile pulled its way up Aemond’s face as he removed his overcoat and moved to the bedside.

You slipped under the covers, fully clothed still, pulling the blanket up to your chin for warmth.  Aemond joined you, the size of the bed forcing the two of you to press against one another.

“You’re very warm.”  Despite yourself, you wiggled closer to him.

“Mmm. I have the blood of-.”

“A dragon, yes so I’ve heard.”

“I ride a dragon, have you heard that?”  Aemond teased, his voice low.

“Mmhmm.”

“The largest dragon in Westeros.”

“She is the size of an island, yes.”  

“Vhagar would be more comfortable than this bed.”  Aemond huffed, moving to try and find a comfortable position.

“Less squeaky, too.”  You chuckled, turning onto your side to face him.  Aemond had his eye already closed, his mouth twitched slightly, you noticed he had left his eyepatch on.  “You don’t have to wear that to bed for my sake, you know.”

His violet eye flickered open to meet your gaze. “I would prefer it remain on all the same.”

You lapsed into silence; the candlelight played across Aemond’s relaxed features as he closed his eye once more.  You fought the urge to reach across the small distance that separated your faces to brush a strand of silver hair falling against his long nose.  Your attention was drawn to his lips, curved and slightly parted as he breathed deep.  The dim light flickered along his angular jaw, his high cheekbones and prominent brow.

His lips pursed.  “You’re staring.”

“I was not.”  You guiltily turned your head to face the ceiling as Aemond spoke.

“I could feel the intensity of it, even with my eye shut.”

Your shoulder brushed against his chest as you repositioned onto your back, your cheeks burning.

“Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, my prince.”

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

You could hear the steady beating of someone’s heart in your ear, your head rising and falling with their breathing.  Warm arms encircled your waist, your fingers were twisted in long silken hair.  You hummed in contentment, feeling long legs move against your own as he stirred, pulling you tighter against his body instinctively.  As your mind fully regained consciousness you recalled the events of the previous night, sleepy bliss turning to alarm at the dawning realization of how tangled up you were with Aemond.

“Oh, oh no.  I am so sorry.”  You gasped, trying to wriggle free of his grasp.

“Y/N, that’s my arm.”

You tried hurriedly to extricate yourself from him, your legs were so entwined however, that as the two of you struggled like clumsy wrestlers, you pulled Aemond off the bed with you in a shower of twisted sheets and pillows.  Your back made contact with the hard stone floor, the prince’s weight on top of you making it difficult to catch your breath for a couple reasons.  

“Good morning to you too.”  Aemond’s hair tickled your cheek as he propped himself up on his forearms, hovering over your blushing face.  He smirked at your mortified expression. “…It seems we got a little cold last night.”

You let out a strangled laugh, your morning voice groggy.  “Help me up, please.” You moved under him helplessly. “Unless you planned to have me pinned here all day.”

“I could think of worse things.”  Aemond drank in the way your eyes widened and lips parted for a long moment before he relented, rising and helping you to your feet.  “Alas, we have errands to run.”

You had to take a moment to recover, reigning in your swirling emotions, as Aemond prepared to depart.  

He glanced over at you from where he was tugging on a boot. “Are you alright, Y/N?”

“Yeah…I’m fine, thank you.”  You ran a hand through your tangled hair, picking at the knots. “Only, next time let’s try to not fall off the bed.” Your face blanched as you realized what you’d said. “N-not that there will be a next time.”

Aemond rose, coming to your side and helping untangle a particularly large snarl. “That’s disappointing indeed.”  His hot breath tickled the side of your neck, you could feel his gaze intent upon your profile.  

“In that case, maybe next time we can have a nicer room.”  You chanced a glance at him. His expression was unreadable, but it sent a pleasant tingle from your chest all the way down to your toes.

“Hmm.”  Aemond tilted his head at you slightly, his eye crinkling a smile. “I can arrange that.”