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Stan Pines, Farmhand - Chapter 16: This is How the World Ends

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 AO3

Holy shit, it’s finally done! I’ve been working on this fic since October, and this AU series for over a year! But it’s done! I mean, as done as I’ll ever be; the multichaps are over, and all that’s left are random posts or ficlets I might make about it. Thank you guys for all your support, it has been lovely, and so wonderful to write this, with all the love you guys have given me for my nonsense. I love y’all, and I hope this is a satisfactory ending. In this, the final chapter, plot lines are resolved, there is yelling and hugging and reconciliation, and Angie tells Ford off. Enjoy~

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August 14, 2012

Emily winced as the shouting from her parents’ bedroom reached new decibels.

“I’ve never heard them fight like this before,” she said quietly.

“I wanna know what they’re saying,” Mabel said. “But the last time Grunkle Stan caught me eavesdropping, he grounded me. And then he said that if he caught me again, he’d cut off my ears, so I couldn’t do it anymore. He probably won’t do that, but I asked for some cute earrings for my birthday, so…”

“Ya don’t wanna risk it,” Emily finished. Mabel nodded. “I can try to listen, if ya want,” Emily offered. “It’s not like they can really ground me anymore.” Mabel beamed.

“Thanks!”

“You got it, cuz.” Emily ruffled Mabel’s hair on her way to her parents’ bedroom. She pressed an ear against the door.

“I’m not gonna apologize for protectin’ you. You and the kids,” Stan said firmly.

“Ya didn’t protect me! Ya lied to me!”

“Bullshit.” Stan’s short response was enough to stop Angie in her tracks.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s bullshit. I protected you. I protected the kids. Do you have any clue what woulda happened if I hadn’t kept all of this a secret? Even with all the precautions I took, Bill still almost got the house this summer.” Emily’s eyes widened.

Dad knows about Bill? Did he overhear Uncle Ford talkin’ ‘bout him?

“Who the hell is Bill and what does he have to do with ya lyin’ to me fer thirty fuckin’ years?!” Emily’s jaw dropped.

I didn’t know Ma even knew real swear words.

“Bill’s the asshole demon that possessed Ford and pushed ya down the stairs thirty years ago,” Stan said.

Wait, what? Bill hurt Ma?

“All the more reason ya should’ve talked to me ‘bout this!” Angie said fiercely. “If Bill is such an evil, manipulatin’, powerful bein’, ya needed someone to help ya out.”

“Clearly, I didn’t,” Stan snapped. There was a long, drawn-out silence.

“Clearly,” Angie said in a subdued voice.

“Angie,” Stan started. Emily could picture him moving toward her mother, reaching out his arms to comfort her.

“Leave,” Angie said. Emily blinked.

That’s not usually how fights end with them.

“…What?” Stan asked, like Emily, taken aback.

“Leave me be, Stanley Pines. I need some time to myself.”

“You just got back, though.”

“I know.” Emily winced at her mother’s choked-up voice. “I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to be apart from ya. Yer not the only one with old issues resurfacing.” Stan said something so quietly that Emily couldn’t make out what it was. “Yes,” Angie said. “So ya can understand why it hurts me to send ya away. But- but we can’t sleep in the same bed tonight, Stan.”

“…Fine.” There were footsteps. Emily moved away from the door just before it opened. Stan looked at his daughter. “Squirt, how many times do we have to tell ya not to eavesdrop?” he said tiredly, closing his bedroom door.

“I wasn’t eavesdropping!” Emily protested.

“Kid.”

“Okay, maybe I was. But it was for a good cause!”

“Mabel asked ya?”

“Yeah, but I was gonna do it anyways.”

“Figures.” Stan took a seat on the floor in the hallway. Emily sat down next to him.

“Are ya sure you’ll be able to stand up again?” she asked. Stan sighed.

“Now’s not the time,” he said. Emily looked down.

“Sorry.”

“Not yer fault. Nope, it’s my fault. All of it.” Stan groaned. “This isn’t how today was supposed to go. The first day of seein’ yer ma in months, well, if I hadn’t messed up like this, there’s no way we’d be spendin’ it in separate beds. Can’t really do what we planned on in-”

“Dad.”

“Right.”

“It does suck, though,” Emily said. “You thought Ma would be happy to have Uncle Ford back, and that Uncle Ford would be happy to be back and wouldn’t punch ya. And ya didn’t think you’d be worried about yer twin stealin’ yer family from ya.” Stan looked at Emily, startled.

“What?”

“Dad, I was there. I was there durin’ yer very questionable run for the mayor of Gravity Falls. I was there when ya started gettin’ worried over Uncle Ford and Dipper playin’ that weird graph paper game. The same one Danny ‘n Daisy like fer some reason. I’ve seen how nervous ya are that Mabel and Dipper like him better.”

“Damn. You’re too smart for yer own good, kiddo,” Stan said quietly.

“I know.” Emily leaned against Stan. “Things’ll work out.”

“Ya keep sayin’ that.”

“That’s ‘cause it’s true. It’ll just take a while is all.”

“Don’t have much summer left fer that.”

“So?” Emily asked.

“Never mind.”

“No, tell me!”

“Nope. Help me up, will ya,” Stan said. Emily groaned.

“I guess.

-----

August 17, 2012

There was a gentle knock on Ford’s door.

“Come in,” Ford said, concentrating on shaving. The door opened.

“Uh, Stanford, why are ya holdin’ a lighter so close to yer face?” Angie asked, staring at him.

“Hmm? Oh, I’ve found that this is much faster than traditional shaving.”

“And more dangerous,” Angie said. She took a few steps into the room and closed the door behind her. “Stanford, I didn’t get a chance to talk to ya yet. Between the jetlag and the…emotional roller coaster, I’ve been too exhausted. But I’ve gotten some rest, and feel refreshed. Which means we need to discuss what happened thirty years ago, and what’s happenin’ now.”

“Okay.” Angie took a seat on the couch and patted a spot next to her. Ford reluctantly joined her.

“Look, I’m glad to see ya. But you made one hell of a mistake back then,” Angie said shortly. “Fidds told ya not to get dark magic involved, but ya still made a deal with a demon, and just about all of us paid the price.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t think Bill was-”

“Ya didn’t think a literal demon was bad news? Stanford, yer supposed to be a genius. Act like it,” Angie snapped. Ford stared, surprised to hear such a cruel tone from her. “Ya don’t owe me an apology just fer makin’ a deal with Bill. Ya owe me an apology fer pushin’ me down those stairs. Ya put me in a coma. My arm was broken. I had to go through speech therapy ‘cause my stutter came back. And my fam’ly was put through hell worryin’ ‘bout me. Worryin’ ‘bout Fidds, and Stan, and you. Stanford, we were terrified fer you.” She sighed. “And then Stan told us that you were dead.”

“I know. I’m not very pleased with that.”

“Don’t matter whether yer pleased with that. Ya still owe some apologies. And ya need to thank Stan fer bringin’ you back. Emily told me ya never did that.”

“I’m not going to thank Stan for endangering the entire universe,” Ford snapped. “And I’m sick of your judgmental tone!” Angie glowered. Ford immediately regretted his words.

“Yer over fifty years old, Stanford Pines. So why are ya actin’ like a child? And I should know what a child acts like. I raised five of ‘em.”

“…Five?”

“Someone had to help Fidds with Tate. You left a mess behind, and instead of thankin’ folks fer cleanin’ it up, or apologizin’ fer makin’ it, yer lashing out at yer own damn fam’ly. My tone may be judgmental, but I’ve got good reasons to judge ya. I have no clue what is so broken between you and Stan that ya can’t even recognize what he did fer you. Was it perfect? No. But it was still an enormous undertaking.”

“I can’t thank someone who put my safety above others’.”

“That’s what Stan does,” Angie said softly. Ford looked down, her words connecting with the guilt he’d had in the back of his mind. Angie played with her hands. “Okay, I just have one thing left to say ‘fore I go hide from my husband some more.”

“What?”

“Don’t try to keep Dipper and Mabel away from the weirdness of Gravity Falls.” Ford stared at her, thinking about what Stan had told him.

“Why not?”

“They’re kids. They’ll mess with things ya tell ‘em not to.” Angie sighed. “Over thirty years of bein’ a dad, you’d think Stan would’ve figured that part out. But I prefer that you encourage them to look into things. To be curious. That way they know how to be safe ‘bout it. Stan was right, Gravity Falls is dangerous. But only if ya don’t know what yer doin’. So show ‘em. But show ‘em how to be safe, too. No matter how difficult it is to break yer habit of throwin’ caution to the wind.” Angie smiled weakly. There was a hesitant knock.

“Yes?” Ford said. Dipper opened the door.

“Great-Uncle Ford, I was wondering if you had any research you wanted to do today. Mabel wants me to help plan our birthday party, so I thought I should check in first.” Dipper noticed Angie sitting next to Ford. “Oh, hi Grauntie Angie.”

“Howdy there, kidlet,” Angie said.

“Actually, Dipper, yes, I do have something I could use your assistance on,” Ford said. Dipper’s eyes widened eagerly.

“Really?”

“Yes,” Ford said. Angie patted Ford’s leg.

“I’ll leave you two kooks to do yer research.” Once the door had closed, Dipper looked at Ford.

“So, what do you need me to help with?”

“You recall the containment for the rift, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s cracking.”

-----

Emily hesitantly opened the door to her parents’ bedroom.

“Ma?” she said cautiously. Her mother looked up from the book she was reading and smiled.

“Hey there, sweetling,” Angie said, putting her book to the side. Emily sat on the bed next to her. “What’s the reason fer ya stoppin’ by? Thought you were workin’ in the gift shop right now.”

“I had Wendy cover me fer a few minutes,” Emily replied.

“That Corduroy girl is somethin’ else,” Angie said.

“Yeah. Look, Ma, here’s the thing. Dad is- he’s really upset. Like, really upset and-” A stormy expression gathered on Angie’s face. “-and that’s clearly not what I should be talkin’ about.”

“I know yer dad feels bad fer what he did,” Angie said slowly. “And he should.”

“I know! I know he should feel bad. But maybe give him a break?” Emily suggested. Angie shook her head.

“No,” Angie whispered in a broken voice. “No, I can’t. Not yet. He lied to me longer ‘n you’ve been alive.”

“Ma-” Emily started.

“Leave me alone,” Angie said suddenly.

“What?”

“Em, I need some time alone.”

“But-”

“Emily Marlene Pines, leave me be!” Angie snapped. Tears were standing in her eyes. Emily bit her lip.

“Sorry, Ma, I didn’t mean to-”

“I know you didn’t, but I just can’t handle talkin’ ‘bout yer father right now,” Angie whispered. She rubbed her eyes. “Go, sweetie. I don’t want ya to see me cry like this.”

“Ma-”

“I mean it! Get goin’!”

“O-okay,” Emily stammered. She stood up and walked over to the door. Before she left, she looked back at her mother. Angie’s head was in her hands, her shoulders shuddering from the force of her sobs.

“Yer ma’s still angry, huh?” a voice asked, the second Emily had closed the door behind her. Emily spun around, startled. Stan was in the hallway, looking abashed. Emily rubbed her face.

“Dad, I think she’s beyond angry right now. Ya know how important tellin’ the truth is to her. Everyone’s upset, including Mabel and-”

“Wait, Mabel’s still upset?” Stan interrupted.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I thought I talked her down.”

“Well, I saw her a few minutes ago and she was crying. And I was goin’ to ask Ma fer help, but I brought you up, and that pissed her off, so I had to leave ‘fore I could ask.” Stan frowned. Emily recognized the look. “What are you thinkin’ ‘bout?” Stan rubbed his chin.

“I’ve been wonderin’ if I should try that McGucket conflict resolution thing with Dipper and Mabel.”

“Is that the same thing you and Ma had me do with Daisy?”

“Yeah. It worked with me and Ford, and we were way past what Dipper and Mabel are dealin’ with, so it should work for them.” He sighed. “I’ve just been hopin’ that I wouldn’t need to, that they’d figure it out on their own.”

“Dad…”

“I know, I know. I shoulda tried to fix things sooner.” They heard the bell of the gift shop door jingle. Voices carried to where Stan and Emily were standing.

“Dipper and Uncle Ford are back,” Emily said quietly. She looked at her dad. “Now’s as good a time as any.”

“Yer right. Go fetch Mabel, I’ll handle the nerds. A fam’ly discussion is long overdue.”

-----

Soos walked into the living room, closely followed by Angie.

“I brought her, dudes,” Soos said, gesturing to Angie. She frowned.

“Jesus, you weren’t serious about the salamander you claimed to have found, were ya?”

“…No,” Soos admitted. Angie sighed and took a seat on the floor.

“Fine. What’s goin’ on here? An intervention?”

“I think so,” Mabel said slowly. Her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying earlier. “But I don’t know what it’s about. I mean, after the last one, I stopped using glitter in everything I bake!”

“This isn’t about glitter,” Emily, who was standing near one of the exits, said. “It’s about how everyone in this house is upset, but no one’s doin’ anything ‘bout it. Ma’s avoiding Dad, Uncle Ford won’t explain whatever he’s doin’ in the basement, and I guess forgot how manners work, and now Dipper and Mabel are havin’ issues, too!” Angie looked at Dipper and Mabel, concerned.

“Is that true?” Angie asked. Mabel looked away. “What happened?”

“Ahem, I’m the moderator,” Emily said. Angie raised her eyebrows. “…Ma. But anyways, yeah, Dipper and Mabel, go ahead and explain what happened.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dipper said, crossing his arms.

“Yeah right, apprentice,” Mabel scoffed. Dipper stared at her.

“How do you know about that?”

“The walkie-talkies! Doy!”

“Wait, catch me up here,” Angie said, “Dipper’s an apprentice?”

“Great-Uncle Ford asked me if I wanted to be. I’d stay here in Gravity Falls and help him with his research,” Dipper explained. Angie crossed her arms and glared at Ford.

“He asked ya that, huh?”

“And Dipper agreed!” Mabel burst out. She sniffled. “He’s- he’s gonna stay, and I’m gonna leave, and-”

“But this is a huge opportunity for me,” Dipper said to Mabel.

“It’s a horrible opportunity for me!” Mabel shouted. “You’re- you’re supposed to be the person I can count on. I don’t wanna leave Gravity Falls behind, but- but when I thought you were gonna come back home with me, that was all right. Now you’re not? I- I don’t wanna grow up without you!”

“Hold on,” Angie interrupted. Mabel and Dipper looked at her, but she was still staring at Ford, clearly furious. “Stanford, ya didn’t consult anyone about any of this.”

“I-” Ford started.

“If yer goin’ to ask a boy to leave his fam’ly behind, talk to ‘em first! I mean, I don’t think Caleb and Amelia would actually be comfortable with this. But now ya went and got his hopes up over somethin’ that, logistically, won’t happen.”

“Caleb and Amelia would be ecstatic, given my educational background and experience,” Ford said.

“Just ‘cause yer smart don’t mean ya make good decisions,” Angie snapped. Ford glowered.

“The boy needs space to develop his intellect! He’s been suffocating, tied down by a twin that he’s never been apart from!”

“Is that what you really think?” Mabel whispered. Dipper stared at his twin, devastated.

“No! I- I never said that, Mabel, I promise!”

“But you were gonna leave me.”

“I-” Dipper stopped. “I don’t want to,” he said quietly. “I don’t think I ever wanted to. I just got caught up in, y’know, the coolness of it all. Being an apprentice to the author of the journals. Saving the world and whatever. But I’d be spending my teen years cooped up in a basement, and without you. And I don’t want that.” Mabel smiled weakly at him.

“And Mom and Dad would freak,” Mabel said.

“Yeah. They would,” Dipper said. “Awkward sibling hug?”

“Sincere sibling hug.”

“See, Mabel?” Stan said, watching the two embrace. “Like I told ya, you’ve got your brother with you. You’ll be fine.”

“You’ll be fine, too, Grunkle Stan,” Mabel said confidently. She patted Dipper on the back twice and they broke apart. Stan smiled, but it was clearly insincere.

“If you say so, kiddo.”

“Actually, Dad, that’s a really good segue,” Emily said. She looked at Dipper and Mabel. “You two can leave, if ya want.”

“And miss out on all the juicy gossip? Please,” Mabel said, waving a hand. Dipper nodded.

“Yeah, like we’d leave of our own free will, when things are gonna start getting good?” Emily looked over at Stan.

“Dad, you can decide if they stay or not. It’s yer business that we’re dealin’ with next.”

“Great,” Stan muttered. He sighed. “They can stay. They’d eavesdrop even if we kicked ‘em out.”

“You know it!” Mabel chirped. Stan cracked a half-smile.

“All right, then. Onto Dad’s issues,” Emily said. Stan closed his eyes with a groan. “Who wants to go first, Ma or Uncle Ford?”

“Ladies first,” Ford said, gesturing towards Angie. Angie frowned.

“Sure, yer quite the gentleman when yer tryin’ to avoid talkin’ ‘bout yer feelin’s,” she said snidely. “You Pines folk ‘re all stunted emotionally, I swear.”

“Ma,” Emily intervened. Angie sighed.

“Guess I’m up first. Stan, ya did the wrong thing fer the right reason. But I can take care of myself. I don’t need unsolicited protection.”

“I know,” Stan said. “But when ya were comatose in a hospital bed, or gettin’ frustrated over how slow yer speech therapy was goin’, really didn’t seem that way.”

“The lyin’ went on past that,” Angie replied.

“Yeah. It did. I’m sorry, Angie.”

“This is the sort of thing married folks aren’t supposed to have. Secrets that go on fer thirty years. Is it any wonder I have issues lookin’ ya in the eye?” Angie asked, her voice breaking. “Is it any wonder I can’t hardly be in the same room as ya? All that time, all that time spent together, happy, raisin’ our kids. Now those good memories are- are poisoned. ‘Cause you were lyin’ durin’ ‘em.” Angie bit her lip and looked away. “Sometimes…sometimes I wondered if ya were cheatin’ on me.”

“What? Angie, I would never-”

“Cheat? But how can I trust ya ‘bout that now, knowing yer lies?” Angie shook her head. “Maybe the blame’s on me, too, though. I ain’t blind. I knew somethin’ was happenin’. I knew there was a reason you were runnin’ yourself more ragged than usual, that there was a reason ya suddenly developed an interest in what Stanford was workin’ on, that there was a reason ya had us move into yer dead twin’s house, and start up, of all things, a tourist trap. I told myself you were just grievin’ in yer own way. But I knew there was more, and if I hadn’t been too scared to actually figure out what else was goin’ on, maybe- maybe we wouldn’t be in such a rough spot right now.” Angie finished her speech with a decrescendo, getting quieter as she neared the end, until the last few words were almost a whisper.

“Angie, when we got married, you said there wasn’t anything that could make you leave me,” Stan said. He swallowed. “Is that still true?” Angie looked down.

“It hurt every day I was in Maine,” she said softly, after a pause that was far too long for Stan’s liking. “But not from old age. From missin’ you. I’m furious ‘bout all of this. But I love you and the life we built together more ‘n I’m angry.” She looked up, and there were tears standing in her blue eyes. Eyes that still had the same brilliance Stan had first seen forty-one years ago. “Stanley Pines, I can’t think of a single thing that would make me leave.” Stan smiled weakly at her. “Even with the lyin’, and my nightmares comin’ back, and everything feelin’ like it’s fallin’ apart, I- I can’t get over how much I love ya. I ain’t leavin’. I ain’t plannin’ on ever leavin’.”

“I’m sorry that I dragged us into this mess,” Stan said.

“It- it is what it is, I s’pose. All’s we can do now is try to move forward. Work on the trust stuff a bit more.” Angie and Stan shared a tentative smile. Ford, who was standing near the tank Angie kept her favorite amphibians in, frowned.

“Nightmares?” Ford asked.

“Nothin’ to write home ‘bout, I don’t think. Had ‘em a bit ‘fore Stan showed up at the farm, had ‘em a bit ‘fore you showed up at the farm, and they started up again while I was doin’ research in Maine this summer.” Angie shrugged. “But they stopped when I got back. Put me in an awful mood fer Stan tellin’ me he got you home, though. I was so exhausted and frustrated, even without the nasty things I was dreamin’. With all of it together, I almost didn’t come home.”

“Shi- shoot, Angie, if you didn’t come home,” Stan said, “I…I don’t know what I’d do. Send the kids home? Kick Ford’s a- butt for bein’ the reason?”

“Mm. Prob’ly both, knowin’ you,” Angie said. She suddenly registered the concerned look she was getting from everyone else in the room, other than her husband. “Wh- what’s the problem?”

“Bill has the ability to cause nightmares,” Ford said.

“So? The human psyche can make ‘em, too,” Angie said. Ford nodded.

“Yes, but the timing seems odd. Your nightmares tend to have surges at crucial points. Stan arriving at your house, and therefore not becoming a homeless criminal. Stan and I meeting at your house, and therefore patching things up before we became too distant. Stan telling you that I’m back, and therefore we can put a stop to Bill’s insanity once and for all.”

“When yer stressed-” Angie started.

“We set somethin’ up around the house,” Emily interrupted. “It keeps Bill’s influence out. He can’t peek into any minds here, can’t cause any nightmares. And yer nightmares stopped when ya came back.” Angie was silent.

“Violynn said that yer nightmares got so bad the first time, that yer folks almost didn’t leave,” Stan said quietly. Angie looked at him. “If yer folks didn’t leave when they did, they wouldn’t have found me. And the second time, they talked about not lettin’ Ford come over. And now…”

“…Now I almost broke yer heart, which would’ve ruined everything else,” Angie whispered.

“If Stan and I got in a physical altercation, or the kids went home, Bill would have found it much easier to gain access to the rift,” Ford said. “Frustration, anger…those emotions are ones Bill relies on. He can finetune righteous fury until it fits his own perverted needs.” Angie put her head in her hands.

“I have a million questions,” Angie said quietly, “the first one bein’ what ‘the rift’ is. But- I don’t think I’m ready fer the answer right now. I thought it was bad enough, that demon puttin’ me in a coma. But playin’ with my mind? I-”

“Yeah, it sucks,” Dipper said firmly. Angie nodded.

“Sure does, kiddo.” After a long pause, Emily cleared her throat.

“So…Dad and Uncle Ford?”

“Are we seriously still doin’ this?” Stan demanded.

“Yes.”

“It’s been a long day, I think we could use a break,” Ford said.

“Nuh-uh. If we stop now, we won’t ever finish,” Emily said, shaking her head. “So. Dad and Uncle Ford. Talk.”

“Ford, up yours.”

“What?!” Ford said.

“Dad. Not helpful.”

“Fine. Ford, thirty years ago, ya asked me to abandon my fam’ly, to save yer skin. Sure, that fight might’ve ended in me pushin’ you through the portal. But it never woulda gotten that far if you didn’t put your own bullsh- crap above everyone else,” Stan snarled. Ford glowered.

“I put my problems above others’? Stanley, you were willing to risk the universe’s safety for your family, and then later, for me!”

“I did what ya asked me to!” Stan snapped. “You asked me to help you. I did it. And after thirty years of breakin’ my back to do what ya told me to do, we won’t even talk! Goddam- gosh dangit, Ford, I thought we were past this!”

“So did I!” Ford shouted. Dipper and Mabel exchanged a wide-eyed look. “So did I,” Ford said, in a more reasonable tone. He ran a hand through his hair. “Why do we keep having this argument, over and over again?”

“‘Cause whenever ya have problems, it always happens at the worst time,” Angie suggested.

“Ma, yer not allowed to contribute,” Emily said. Angie rolled her eyes.

“No, that- that sounds right,” Ford said. “Maybe we are emotionally stunted, unable to talk things out, until it builds and builds, and the only possible result is explosive.”

“Does that mean yer gonna thank me?” Stan asked.

“Only if you apologize to me,” Ford replied. Stan frowned thoughtfully.

“I’ll think about it. But no matter what, I ain’t apologizin’ in front of the kids. They’ll think I’m soft.”

“You already said sorry to Grauntie Angie about ten times,” Dipper said.

“Eh. That’s different.”

“Are we done?” Ford asked Emily. Emily nodded.

“Actually, yeah. Huh, and it took less time than me and Daisy did.”

“Stanford, what is the rift?” Angie asked suddenly.

“Essentially, it’s a rip in the fabric of the universe, a portal of sorts between our dimension and that of Bill’s. It was created by Stanley turning on the portal,” Ford explained.

“The big problem,” Dipper jumped in. He stopped and looked at Ford, who nodded. “The big problem is that Bill can come through it if it gets too big. So Great-Uncle Ford sealed it in a snow globe.”

“The containment device is more durable than a snow globe, but continue,” Ford said.

“But now, the containment device or snow globe or whatever it is, is cracking.”

“Which means that the rift isn’t actually contained,” Angie said slowly.

“Yes. Dipper and I went to the UFO site today, to find alien adhesive to seal the containment device shut,” Ford said.

“Seems like yer tryin’ to put a bandaid over a gunshot wound,” Angie said. “That ain’t goin’ to work in the long run!”

“I just needed to buy some time, until I find a better solution,” Ford said.

“Didn’t you meet anyone in other dimensions who might be able to help out?” Emily asked. Ford paused.

“Actually, yes. But Jheselbraum is busy, and I don’t have a way of visiting her dimension.”

“Does she have a cellphone?” Mabel asked. “You could call her.” Ford rubbed his chin.

“No, she doesn’t have a cellphone…but you’re right. I could call her. Through other means, of course.”

“Great! And now that all the end of the world things are taken care of, we can finally start planning the birthday party!” Mabel said enthusiastically. Angie chuckled.

“You really have a one-track mind, don’t ya, darlin’?”

-----

September 2, 2012

Ford stood on the porch of his house, if it could be called that anymore, given the discussions that were going on about the Mystery Shack’s future.

“I can’t live here anymore,” Ford said abruptly, the night of the “intervention”. He, Stan, and Angie were enjoying some much needed alcoholic beverages.

“Why not?” Stan asked.

“It’s just changed so much. It’s not the same place I left. Even if I wanted to live in a house that also functions as a tourist trap, I can’t do that if it doesn’t feel like home.”

“Then where will ya go?” Angie asked, idly stirring her rum and coke.

“Not sure. Unless…maybe I could get the Stan O’War up and running.”

“What?” Stan said. “You- you wanna go on an ocean adventure?”

“Yes. I think it would be a nice break from all of the…”

“Drama,” Angie suggested.

“Bullshit,” Stan said.

“Well, yes, this summer has been full of both of those things.” Ford looked down at his glass tumbler. “But I don’t think I could crew her on my own.” Stan was silent. “I don’t want to take you from your family, Stan-”

“My kids are all grown up, Angie’s busy findin’ evolutionary missing links. All I do is sit around, bein’ old,” Stan said. He grinned. “Finally doin’ a trip on the Stan O’War sounds pretty great to me, Sixer.”

“You two could use some bondin’ time,” Angie added. “So’s long as ya don’t disappear off the face of the earth, I think I can handle bein’ apart from Stan fer a few months. Done it before.” She looked at Stan. “But the two of ya wouldn’t be able to leave fer a bit, y’know.”

“Oh, yeah, there’s a thing. The whole fam’ly’s goin’. I can’t go until after it.”

“That’s fine. The extra time will be useful. I can put some affairs in order, adjust the ship to be suited for my research, et cetera,” Ford said.

“Or you could come to the party,” Angie suggested. Ford blinked.

“Um, I don’t know how wise that would be. I don’t even know what it’s for.”

“A birthday. Yer welcome to come,” Angie said. She picked up on his hesitation. “But you can think about it a bit ‘fore ya make up yer mind.”

“Geez, Angie, what do ya take us for? People who think before doin’ things?” Stan asked sarcastically.

“Clearly ya aren’t, since ya haven’t discussed what you’ll do with the Mystery Shack.”

“Shut it down, obviously,” Stan said. Angie stared at him, aghast.

“And break poor Jesus’s heart like that?”

“Why do ya call him by his full name?”

“Why do ya not realize how much this dumb ole place means to him?” Angie retorted. Stan sighed.

“Like always, you have a point. Soos is a good kid. He shouldn’t have to watch the Shack shut down.” He frowned thoughtfully. “Hmm. I bet the Mr. Mystery suit would look good on him.” Angie smiled.

“That’s more like it.”

Ford shook himself out of his memories and watched his twin load up the Stanleymobile. Emily tossed Stan a large duffel bag. Stan caught it, but stumbled slightly under the weight and force of the throw. Ford smiled as Emily laughed.

“Yer losin’ yer touch, old man,” Emily said teasingly. Stan rolled his eyes and stuffed the duffel bag into the trunk.

“I’m just goin’ easy on ya. What with you bein’ my daughter and all,” Stan said. Emily snorted.

“Sure, Dad.” Ford heard the front door open. Angie walked past with another bag of luggage.

“Geez, how much crap do you guys have?” Stan asked. Angie went over to her husband.

“This is yer stuff, darlin’. And it’s the last of it.” Stan took the bag from her and put it in the car, then closed the trunk. “All right, you two, we ain’t stoppin’ fer a while. Bathroom break now or hold it,” Angie said briskly. Emily shook her head.

“I’m good, Ma.”

“Then let’s load up,” Angie said. Stan opened the door of the Stanleymobile for her, eliciting a laugh. Angie kissed him on the cheek before getting into the back seat. Emily joined her mother. Stan closed the door.

“So, where are you headed, again?” Ford asked.

“We’re gonna stop by San Diego to pick up Emmett, and then go to the farm,” Stan replied. “The whole fam’ly’s gonna be there to celebrate the triplets’ birthday.” He looked at Ford. “Includin’ Fidds, Tate, and Tate’s kids. You made up yer mind about comin’?” Ford rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly. On the one hand, he was eager to see his son and grandchildren. On the other, it had been thirty years.

The McGuckets probably wouldn’t want to see me.

“You probably need the extra space for Fiddleford,” Ford said. Stan shook his head.

“Nah. Fidds headed out yesterday,” Stan said. Angie rolled down the car window.

“I didn’t sit in the back seat fer nothin’, Stanford!” she shouted teasingly. Ford cracked a small smile.

“I really don’t know if I should intrude…”

“Intrude? Ford, it’s pretty damn difficult to crash a fam’ly gatherin’ if yer fam’ly,” Stan said. “Seriously. Ya comin’?” Ford looked at his house.

I don’t think I can call it that anymore. He looked back at his twin, his sister-in-law, and his niece. His smile grew broader.

“…Yes.”