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#i feel like there's so much im leaving out of this lol
rosenclaws · 10 hours
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Hi again! 👋
I'm throwing another request at ya since you did such an awesome job with the last fic idea I requested. (Thank you again for that)
This time with the OG Logan and all his kitty cat hair glory lol.
The reader has similar powers to scarlet witch. Like telekinetic powers, levitation, etc. Can it be a scenario where she loses connection (like how wanda feels connected to vision) with Logan and thinks that he's dead and she just snaps. The villians who claims they killed him mock her and she pulls the move like wanda did in Endgame where she's like you took everything from me, and the villians don't know who she is and she's like you will and just goes full beast mode on the villians involved.
Bonus, Logans alive, he just was knocked out real bad and sees the whole fight happen and was like wow I love her and they reunite and it ends all fluffy with a kiss, maybe a proposal? Lol 😘
Heartbeat || Logan Howlett x Reader
a/n: This was such a great request and I have to say I really loved writing this. I did. go a little angstier than I thought I would and its darker than I expected it to turn out but I really hope you like it. Your mutant name is firefly. Also. I still haven't seen the movies so I apologize if its not accurate to how the X-Men work or anything im sorry sdakfjl;
warnings: fake out death, violence, blood, killing, angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending, the reader goes on a rampage, he calls you honey, reader almost dies, creepy ass villian guy.
wc: 2.3k
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"You alright there honey?" Logan's hand gently rests on your shoulder.
You're staring blankly out the jet window, watching the clouds pass by as you ready yourself for what is pretty much a suicide mission. A whole organization that had been hiding underground, dedicated to eradicating mutants.
They've studied you. Planned. They know things, your strengths, your weaknesses. A few people had infiltrated their base and what they found...It made you shiver. Photos and articles and deeply personal information.
They had photos of you and Logan.
It made you paranoid sometimes. Like they were always watching. So you had to put a stop to it as soon as possible. You didn't go on missions often. Your powers were, quite destructive. Powerful yes but not always needed but the X-Men needed everyone they could. You take a deep breath and try to smile convincingly.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Logan snorts and cocks an eyebrow.
"You're lying right through those pretty teeth." There's an air of fear in the jet. You all know what might happen if you don't succeed.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay. Promise."
"Yeah they're no match for the Wolverine and Firefly." Scott teases making Logan roll his eyes. Scott just loved messing with Logan, taking any jab he can to lighten the mood.
"Can it bub." He turns his attention back to you, happy to see a small smile on your face. Logan takes your hand and places it on his chest. Your hands glow as you reach deep and feel his heartbeat.
"See?" You take a deep breath as you listen.
Sometimes you got too much into your own head. Your powers were tricky and when you got overwhelmed Logan always knew how to calm you down. The world around you fades as you focus on the beat of his heart. The rise and fall of his chest. He was your rock. The jet jolts and Logan holds onto you as you stumble.
"Think I got time for a quick smoke before we head out?"
"No you do not." Storm walks up to the two of you, she shoos Logan away who reluctantly leaves.
"We're landing in 10 minutes, are you ready Firefly?" You take a deep breath and nod.
You stare at your hands as you little particles of orange start to sprout from your fingers. You had control of your powers most of the time but they were still a work in progress but you knew that this mission was important so you couldn't afford to lose control.
Once the jet lands Scott and Storm tell everyone the plan again. This was for the future of mutant kind and there was a lot at stake. Each of you had a small usb drive that would corrupt and destroy any files still left in their system. Infiltrate and destroy all of their plans.
"Do you feel like pancakes?" Logan asks as you step out of the jet.
"What?" He shrugs and stands a little taller.
"There's this diner, open all night. Thought that after you'd want to get something to eat." You know what he's doing. Trying to make you feel better, to believe that you'll make it out alive. You can't die if you have a plans.
"Sure Logan, pancakes sounds great."
"Then it's a date." Logan heads in the opposite direction of you.
He's part of the brute force while you slip into the shadows. Still it pains you to be away from him. A storm rumbles in the distance and you hurry off to your position, afraid of what was to come. Still you keep going.
This was going to end tonight.
"Shit!" You hiss as a bullet wizzes past you.
Things had went to shit pretty quickly and it's an all out brawl now. With a wave of your hands soldiers go flying to who knows where. You sneak behind one and infiltrate his mind. Using his fears to show you exactly where the main computer was being held. He falls to the ground and you step over him as you sneak inside.
It was getting bad, you could feel it. Feel the tiredness and pain your friends were feeling. The guards fall one by one as you make it to the center console room. Exhaustion was creeping up on you. Your powers exerting every bit of strength you had. Still you knew what had to be done.
You plugged in the usb drive and watched as the system crashes, deleting every single bit of information they could have on the X-Men. Then you slowly envelop the console with your powers, crushing it until there's nothing left. You press your finger to your ear, alerting the team you had wiped their main computer in the comms. There's nothing but static on the other end.
"Guys?" You feel your heart start to race as you run out of the building.
"Hello? Anyone? Storm, Jean, Logan?" Still nothing.
Suddenly you feel this horrible, horrible pit in your chest. You stop in your tracks. Blood running cold as terrible feeling washes over you. Logan. You can't explain it, but somethings wrong.
"Logan!" You plead into your comms for him to respond.
You burst through the doors and back onto the field. Your breath hitching as you see the destruction in front of you. For any normal villain's they would have been nothing in the way of you guys, but these people knew exactly who you were. Exactly how to stop each and every one of you.
It was a losing battle.
Your eyes dart around as you send blast after blast, trying to help but with every move of your hands you feel weaker. Suddenly you hear a loud yell, you turn around to see Logan driving his claws deep into the chest of someone. You feel relieved seeing him still standing.
"Logan!" You call out to him and he looks your way. There's blood splattered all over his face and he looks worried. He runs towards you as fast as he could go.
"Get down!" He roars.
BANG
It all happens so slowly.
You look to your side to see a man with a gun aimed right at you. The exhaustion plagues your brain as you react too late. You see Logan running at you. A desperate look in his face as he jumps at you. You hit the ground and so does Logan. He rolls away and lays still. To your horror there's a bullet right in his forehead.
"Logan!" You screech.
You scramble to his side. He's not getting up. Why is he not getting up? He heals. He should be fine. His healing factor should have kicked in so why isn't he getting up. You reach out to him but someone grabs your leg before you can. Your hands dig into the ground as you're yanked back. Dragged to the center of the field.
"Get the fuck off me!" You kick your feet and scream loudly.
Your hands glow but you're face is shoved to the ground, a foot on your neck slowly stopping the air from entering your lungs. You can feel your strength draining. You try and use your powers but you can't.
"He's dead sweetheart. Think we don't know about that neat little regeneration of his?" The man above you laughs and you start to feel sick.
"We're not fucking stupid." He takes his foot off your neck and you gasp for air. He reaches down and grabs you by the neck, forcing you to turn and look at Logan.
"Where's that healing of his now?" Logan remains unmoving, you try and reach out to him. Using any bit of your power to search for him but nothing. You can't feel anything. Tears start to fall as you let out an anguished cry.
"I thought you were supposed to be strong? We heard so much about you and now look at you." He lets go of your neck and you crawl to your knees. Clutching your chest as sobs wrack your body.
"Don't worry though," You hear a gun cock behind you.
"It'll be over soon. Go ahead and say hi to your little boyfriend for us."
You look up at him and feel nothing but an overwhelming amount of pure rage. How fucking dare they. They threatened your life, your friends, your world. They took your peace. They took Logan. The love of your life, he died saving you. Your hands glow bright orange, your chest heaving as you glare at the man standing in front of you.
"Oh look at that, looks like you can do something." He sneers. You chuckle darkly. Tilting your head to the side you smile. Your eyes start to glow as you become strangely calm.
"You took everything from me...So I'm going to take it all from you." You scream as a large wave of energy bursts from your body.
A wave knocking back everyone in your radius including your team. The line of friend and foe blur as you go on a rampage. Disposing of anyone who came after you with ease.
"Firefly!" Storm calls out to you, you were becoming uncontrollable. No one can even get near you. Jean tries to get into your head but you block her out.
No one can get to you now.
They took him from you and you were going to make him pay. You stalk to the ones that were foolish enough to stay. Though they were crawling away now, pleading for mercy. It almost makes you laugh. They were showing no mercy when they planned to eradicate you and your friends. Why would you show them any now?
"That's enough!" Scott fires a beam to stop you in your tracks.
"They're surrendering." He reaches out to you but you push him away.
"I don't care." You snarl. You raise your hand and lift the stragglers up in the air. You're about to slam them to the ground but someone grabs onto your wrist.
"Stop!" The grip is tight as they spin you around. The glow in your eyes fade as you take in who stands in front of you.
"Logan?" You whisper. You try and shake your hand free but he doesn't budge.
"Let them go, honey." He says gently.
"They tried to kill you." You feel the fire come back but Logan does everything he can to calm it.
"But they didn't. They can't hurt us anymore." Still you don't move. He loosens the grip on your hand, taking your other hand and placing it on his chest.
"I'm alive, just feel." Slowly you lower your hand, softly letting the men fall as the rest of the team deal with them as you collapse into Logan's arms.
"I thought you were dead!” You cried. You rest your head against his chest, hand still gripping his suit.
“You weren’t moving and I, I couldn’t feel you.” He cradles the back of your head and holds you tight.
“I’m so sorry I scared you honey, I’m alive. Just knocked out for a little bit.” Logan feels horrible.
Maybe if he had been a little quicker you both would be okay and you wouldn’t have had to deal with any of that. He grabs your face and kisses you with an intensity you've never felt. It's sloppy and desperate but full of life. He's alive. He's telling you that he's alive.
When you pull apart there's still tears streaming down your face. Still so overwhelmed from everything. He lets you cry into his chest as he soothes you. Wiping away the tears as they come.
"I love you so much." He whispers so only you can hear.
The rest of the team watch but don’t say a word. Letting the two of you sit there as long as you need. Soon your tears dry up but you don’t let go of Logan.
It’s a quiet walk to the jet. Everyone is absolutely drained. You lean on Logan's shoulder as he draws shapes on your thigh with his thumb. Your hand rests on his wrist, pressing into his pulse just to make sure he's still breathing.
"Pancakes." You say quietly. Logan looks over in slight confusion.
"Huh?"
"You promised me pancakes," You crack a tired smile.
Logan stares at you for a moment before laughing in disbelief. The weight of what happened finally catching up to him. How close he was to losing it all, how close you were to complete destruction. The toll it's taken on everyone in the jet. The last thing on anyone's mind mind should be doing anything other than sleeping for a week yet pancakes feel like the best fucking idea ever.
"Yeah we can get pancakes honey, as many as you want." He kisses your forehead and places his chin on your head.
"With chocolate chips?" You ask playfully.
"I'll make 'em put in extra. Just for you." You hum happily as you lean in closer to him.
It's still a long flight back and one by one everyone starts to fall asleep. Soon it's just the rumbling of the plane. You look up to see Logan has fallen asleep, you watch his chest rise and fall. Just for a little bit.
He grumbles in his sleep, twitching slightly. There's a scowl on his face as he starts to shift more. Quietly you tap your fingers against his head, taking away his nightmares. He stops moving, relaxing under your touch. You smile softly as you slide your hand down to his chest.
Closing your eyes you feel his heart again. In the back of your mind swirls the horrible memories of today but you choose to ignore them for now. You close your eyes and allow yourself to rest. The steady beat of his heart acting as the perfect lullaby.
Just a steady reminder that everythings okay, there's nothing to fear anymore.
Thump
Thump
Thump
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OMG just found you through your NSFW-alphabet for Aemond, could you please please do one for his brother as well?
heyy... heyyy.. uh i know this is.. two years.. late, im sorryyyy, i had sooo much stuff happen to me tho and i feel like now im finally ready to start writing again! thank you for this request! check out my
MASTERLIST
NSFW Aegon Targaryen
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Yees girl go give us ⋆✩nothing⋆✩, hahahah no it really depends on what your relationship with him is, i can't see him being overly loving and patient with someone who's a fleeting moment in his life, if he is in love with you tho (whether or not he realises it) he will do his utmost best to shower you with love, even after a hate fuck this puppy couldn't possibly with good consience let you go without a bit of love
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
he's quite insecure (shocking) so at first he had basically nothing, no part of him was entirely without flaw and he hated it, being with you and seeing how you look at him changed his mind and now he finds his shoulders and torso quite attractive (especially with your feet over his shoulders)
what he likes most on you differs every day, one day it's your eyes, the next your ass, he loves and longs for all of you
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
this dirty bitch, anywhere... anywhere
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
he definitely caught alicent and crispin doing it at least once.. did he enjoy it? debatable
he has many secrets, most of them dirty.. so yeah, he's probably even seen you naked many times before you courted officially, he has his ways..
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
he's always been very well versed in the art of sex, he fears nothing and is up to experiencing everything, so good luck with suprinsing him with something new.. if you do though, well just be prepared to not leave your room for some time, he loves new experiences
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
you on top, no arguments, on part because he's a little lazy, but also because he can see all of you that way, every curve, every sweet drip he'd like to lick up
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
he's a gooof, a silly boyy, cannot stay serious for the life of him bless this poor man he tried once and you laughed at him because he looked constipated, if you really want him serious tho.. that takes a lot of teasing the entire day, then at night he takes what he was promised in those foxy smirks flashed his wayy all day
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
no grooming, unless you ask for it, like really plead for it, i think he just also forgets and obviously on you he doesn't mind any hair, on the contrary i think it makes him more turned on because it feels 'animalistic' and raw
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
he can be romantic, he definitely uses his puppy eyes to his advantage and makes you take care of him haha
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he knows he looks good and won't hesitate to show you too, so you walking into your shared chambers while he's lost in himself is quite common, and then he just flashes you a coy smirk and get louder the longer you ignore him
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
i fear... i may have to say this man has a mommy kink, or just a woman kink in general lol, he definitely searches for validation where he didn't recieve it, so you being able to praise him and make him feel loved is a biig YES
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Unlike his clean brother, this man is dirty as fuck and is down to do it just about anywhere. Is a never ending list really. He looks forward to taking you into the darkest alleyways of King´s Landing or underneath the stone table in the Sept of Baelor.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
once again, just you, there is nothing more ravishing than you in a pretty dress or tunic and a pair of pants, the lower the cut of the hem the better, he loves when you swoosh your hair around him, likes the wilder side of you more than the proper side
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
... i really tried to come up with something but i dunno, i feel like hes down for anything??
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
a master in giving, terrible at recieving, he wriggles and whines and tugs on your hair, wear a whole set of armor if you dont want scratch marks everywhere!! also be carefull this one bites
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
he's sloppy mostly, but at times when he sobers up in a moment of clarity he can rock your fuckin world, you'll be climbing the walls im tellin you
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
yes,yes,yes - aegon on quickies, he loves it, anywhere anytime, he'll srsly take you in an alleyway if you let him, so be carefull
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
once again i feel like he'd risk anything for that rush of adrenaline that he just longs for, he feels so bored and dead all the time that he wants to experience it all with you
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
if he's drinking? barely one, may even fall asleep on you. if he's sober? get ready for a ride till the sunrise, he takes his time and just kissing him may feel like only minutes passed when in reality you've been there for hours
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
i mean, you saw the damn dildo, thats all imma say, he a freak
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
oh he's such a little tease, but not in the way most would expect, he's not a very dominant boy, so he'll more likely tease you to make you jealous or to make you look at his neck and chest when his tunic get mysteriously untied in the wind
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
looud, get your chambers soundproofed please, for the sake of the children, he's grunting, moaning, whining, cursing and all in between, the more orgasms you give him the higher his voice goes in octaves, its a fun game to see how high the bird will sing
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
i think he likes getting spanked, something makes me believe he'd be begging for that sharp sting, be it his face, cock or ass, he'll take anything you'll give
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
average sized, pretty boy cock what can i say, curved with a very pink flush
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
he's a whore, but a whore with feelings, he's down to do it most of the time but sometimes you'll have to console the poor boy because he feels like he's too demanding, just make sure you kiss him and he's forgetting all about those pesky insecurities
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
after you're done, he's not even letting you get up to use the restroom, he grabs you and just won't let go until he's sound asleep, you make him feel safe and loved
Hope you enjoyed!!
masterlist
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t00thpasteface · 3 days
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i very deeply respect your mashposting and even though im not as enthusiastic about hawkahy as you are i think the content you make for them us delightful and some of the best mashposting on this godforsaken website. that being said, i wanted to know ur takes on the hawkeye & trapper dynamic, and the hawkeye & bj dynamic. Not in a shippy way, just in the World of Hawkahy what role do trapper and bj play in their relationships with hawkeye :3 this because i love that one comic u did where hawkeye is spunchbop and bj is Patrick its one of my fave pieces of mash fanart lol
(⁠๑˘❥⁠⁠ ˘๑⁠) first off, THANK YOU!! i'm soooo crazy about hawkahy and i really enjoy contributing to my fellow shippers, but i'm glad my art can also still appeal to people who are less interested the ship itself.
second, VERY fun question!! i wish i had definitive answers for yall, but you know me... i love to go "well idk it could go either way" ^_^;; really, it depends on what kind of tone and theme i'm looking for. i don't really write heavier stuff (because i have so much fun writing funny fic) so that kind of narrows my options, but there's a lot of potential i'd love to explore— or see someone else explore, if they're so inclined!
TRAP:
generally the trapper reading i typically default to is that he and hawkeye have a pretty casual FWB thing going on. trapper considers hawkeye a very close friend and hooks up with him at an intersection of bicuriosity and deep platonic affection, but hawkeye catches baddddd feelings and ends up genuinely heartbroken to find out their thing was lopsided. in this case, hawkahy would happen only after trapper leaves— mulcahy has a tough time trying to get noticed before that point :( but at the same time, i don't think mulcahy would pounce at the first opportunity, because i don't think an immediate rebound would be good for hawkeye nor mulcahy... but it could happen for dramaaaaa...
another version of the hawkeye-trapper rapport that i love playing with in my fics is trapper being generally very supportive but nonetheless slightly grossed out. i think there's a lotttt of comedy potential with hawkeye thinking it's okay to fuck a priest but NOT a married woman, and meanwhile trapper is pro-infidelity but anti-priestfucking (for whatever reason), and they squabble and tease each other about it the whole time.
it's also funny to think about is trapper trying to figure out whether mulcahy now gets the "one of the bros" back-slapping beer-chugging dude treatment, or if instead he's now slotted into the "go easy on 'em trap" category that protects hawkeye's ladyfriends from hearing trapper's bawdiest jokes and comments when hawkeye brings them along as a plus-one to the swamp.
trapper seems like he's pretty likely to sniff out that hawkeye and mulcahy are seeing each other even if they try their damnedest to keep it secret. i like to think hawkeye trusts trapper enough that he would go ahead and divulge it it up front pretty soon after it's official. trapper could probably even pick up hawkeye's crush beforehand... maybe even before hawkeye knows about it!
i don't see trapper as being too jealous of hawkeye spending a lot of time with mulcahy, even if it means hawkeye is now exclusive and not sleeping with trapper anymore. if anything i think he'd be pretty stoked that he's got one less guy to compete with for the nurses' attention. pretty sweet deal as far as he's concerned.
i do think there'd be some tricky navigating between how hawkeye acts with trapper and the STARK difference with how he acts around mulcahy, which you can see clear as day in the s1 finale, where hawkeye gets soooo soft and careful while talking to mulcahy. i don't think either one is disingenuous; i think hawkeye contains multitudes. hawkeye's not the type to fake sincerity. and to that end, i really don't think hawkahy should hinge on hawkeye totally giving up all the cruder parts of his personality (especially since mulcahy is really no saint either), so it could be pretty interesting to see that manifest in whether/how he's still maintaining a close friendship with trapper now that he's been seeing mulcahy regularly and trying to make a good impression.
BEEJ:
the direction bj goes in depends on whether hawkahy are already an item before he gets there. he does form that almost instantaneous trauma-bond with hawkeye on his first day, but i think if hawkeye admitted "yeah by the way the chaplain is my boyfriend" as soon it seemed safe, bj would be able to take it in stride as another weird little quirk of the mash he has to get used to. he's too hung up on dealing with all the gore to worry about who's banging who.
by contrast, i think he could potentially get pretty upset/jealous if hawkeye and mulcahy paired up a little while later. i can see him feeling really betrayed, like, "what do you normally do when i'm gone?" "wait for you to get back!!"
if bj still doesn't feel like he's really enmeshed himself into the unit— which i think on some level, he never wants to, because he's banking on dropping everything like a hot potato the second he can— then i can totally picture him just feeling completely lost and isolated when hawkeye is suddenly forgoing their boys-nite boozathons in favor of getting some priest pipe. like, at least trapper could always go find his own cuddle buddy to pass the time and had nurses lining up to volunteer; bj has basically nobody and doesn't seem inclined nor equipped to fix that. hawkeye is his liason to the rest of the camp, and bj isn't so great with people without having hawkeye there to help as both teleprompter and safety net.
basically i think bj wants to keep hawkeye within a very specific arm's-length radius— not too close, but not too far either, and hawkeye having so much private time with someone else could really get under his skin.
you could also have bj think the priestfucking is gross/bad on sheer principle like trapper did, even without the jealousy angle, and it'd probably hold a little more water coming from bj than trapper. however, it'd be funny if he's insisting it's definitely not a jealousy thing and he's being fully objective about it, but you can totally tell he's just jealous. x)
i admit i kinda love seeing bj get tormented, because he's got such obvious buttons to press and yet sternly insists that they don't even exist, similar to houlihan and frank. like, you can't just set that up and not expect me to rub my hands together and SLAM those buttons as hard as i can. ergo, bj getting jealous about hawkahy is supremely funny to me. i'm not too proud to admit that!
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sondheim-girly · 3 days
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for @world-burnn, stagedoor was awesome!
it was pretty quiet and not too crowded (still kinda crowded, but it didn’t feel as insane as I’ve seen in pictures) i left during bows and got barricade. The girl next to me was saying how bad she felt to leave during bows and I was like “ahhh same!” oh my god and I was shaking so bad… my character shoes are partly to blame but like my legs were going crazy!
my cousin got videos of a lot of my interactions but I’m way too scared to rewatch them so im gonna go off of memory!
first Brent came out, and I was right at the door so when he walked out he looked at me and said “Marcia!” Then continued on to sign other people’s playbills before he came back around to me.
RJ came out but I can’t remember for the life of me what I said to him
i got to meet Dre and I told him how glad I was that I got to see him (cuz he’s only in the show for a month) and he was so sweet
kwp lowkey looked so brain dead during stagedoor and I do not blame him 😭 but we got a photo together and he put his arm around me and I think i passed away
Josh strobl came out (not to sign, he wasn’t in the show that day lol) and I just watched him walk away and was fangirling so hard tbh
melody came out and complimented my costume! I told her I’d cried off all my makeup and she said she would have done the same, then told me that sg would be coming out soon (which was a lie)
Emma came out and was THE SWEETEST EVER!!! She took her time with all of the fans, and with one of them she commented on how quiet it was and the fan jokingly asked if they should all be louder and she was like “yeah we should all hum our favorite songs” and it was sooo funny. when she turned to me she was like “right… and you ate” and kept on complimenting my costume which KILLED ME she was so nice… I told her my friend had made it and she was like “well tell the friend that it’s amazing!” And i gave her the letter I wrote to her (which she was again so sweet about) and when I asked her for a photo she was like “well Marcia and Cherry are best friends!”
then Trevi came out and I told him how glad I was that I got to see his ponyboy and he was really sweet
Anyways I love this cast so much and it was just an incredible experience!
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snickerdoodlles · 1 year
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📖 for kinnporsche the series? your ideas are just so good!
thank u nonny!! 😭❣
this one took me a while to type because it is my weird whacky fic child who i love very dearly but struggle to explain. so, uh.
✨ Necromancy AU ✨
Big dies in the warehouse. Porsche gets Arm to get his body out, gets Kinn to delay the cremation, and gets Chay to reanimate Big.
(because reanimating the dead is just something Chay can do, because he figured it'd be a good skill to learn and he's my most specialest boy.)
Kinn (who's at the morgue for Porsche) is flabbergasted, Khun (who's at the morgue by a miracle) is stunned silent, and Kim (who's here because Khun texted him but didn't say Chay would be here) is more shocked by Big than Chay's abilities.
(Kim is the only person other than Porsche to just accept necromancy as A Reasonable Thing For Chay To Know. this is why they're Chay's favorites.)
anyways so Big is now awake and surrounded by this family. this is hell. not just for him, his sudden undead status is causing a lot of problems:
Porsche just had Chay bring Big back, he didn't like...tell anyone what was happening or make a plan for what to do with him.
Kinn just figured out his new guard roster, and now he has to redo it to accommodate one very grumpy and very loyal Big who now doesn't need trivial things like sleep or food.
there's the looming specter of Khun's upcoming dry cleaning bill because he won't. stop. poking. Big.
Big is trying very, very, very hard to ignore that not only do people know he knew about Porsche and Kinn, but that he loves Kinn so much he died protecting Porsche.
speaking of, Porsche just thanked him for saving Chay and (in a quieter voice) for saving him.
Big is in hell.
despite all that, Big's plans for his new life are to just go back to being Kinn's perfect guard. he is ignoring the awkwardness, none of this is fine, none of this will be fine, but it will be NORMAL.
this is hampered by the fact that whoops, turns out the undead need to hang around their "masters" for at least a few hours every couple of days to "recharge" so to speak, as discovered by Pol when he screamed so loud he set a fire alarm off because he stumbled over Big's body face down in front of Kinn's door at 2am.
this is even further hampered by Korn, who will absolutely not stand for his preferred heir being guarded by someone who might be more loyal to someone other than him. Korn uses the "recharge" issue to force Big out by way of making him Chay's permanent guard.
so now Big, the perfect bodyguard who only got better at his job in death, is now stuck hanging around a high schooler who doesn't get into trouble and just wants to make music with his bitchy boyfriend.
(because oh yeah, mr. the untamed nerd Kim is obviously ridiculously into Chay being able to resurrect the dead and leaks feelings before he can run away and sabotages all future attempts to ghost Chay (insert necromancer joke here). Kim's fears of love and hurting those he loves will cause different problems.)
anyways, Big is suffering. not only is he stuck guarding Porsche's baby brother (who! he's realizing he likes as a person! will the horrors never cease!), Chay keeps being nice and thoughtful and looking out for him as a person and asking after his happiness and shit (the horrors!! are not ceasing!!!!). when Big finally has enough of all this Being Treated Like A Human Being business and asks Chay why he even cares, Chay blurts out "Big, do you even want to be alive?"
because this has been eating at Chay ever since he brought Big back at the morgue. because he never knew Big and never asked if he'd want to be alive again, Chay just did it for Porsche, who wasn't doing it for Big but for his own guilt. and then Big's old life was like an ill-fitting glove, because he and Porsche can't be bitches with Big's sacrifice hanging over them but don't know how to act when they aren't being bitches, Korn won't accept him back because he only sees his own paranoia and none of Big's loyalty, and Kinn might appreciate Big's loyalty but he won't fight for it either, not when he's trying to juggle the rest of Korn's messes coming to fruition. Big's been completely forced out of his old life and any ties he might've kept to the other guards (as few as they were) are ruined by the others' guilt and discomfort, because Big might not have died in the first place if literally anyone had listened to him during the Tawan debacle, which they could ignore when he was dead but can't when he's alive and there in front of them.
and the whole confession draws Big up short because no one's ever asked him what he wants before. Big was just the son of a mafia enforcer who got scooped up young by the main family as a personal guard for Kinn. Big's never even considered that what he wants could be an option. even when he first came back, his main considerations were on the ways he was a better guard for Kinn. Big's chosen more things for himself in his weeks with Chay than he has in his life, and he never stopped to think how he feels about that.
he does now. kinda. this is Big after all. but after both forty-three excruciating minutes and three days, Big finally answers Chay, "i never lived for me before. it's...nice." Chay, who's gotten quite good at reading between the lines after all the exposure from Kim and Big, beams and makes him help him pick his electives for his first semester of university, because Chay's determined to help Big find a hobby and he's overcome far tougher things than emotional constipation.
[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]
Bonus
small scene snippet from shortly after Big's first brought back to life, right after Kim's walked into screaming, stolen Pol's gun, and shoved Chay behind him for protection, because i love themm
Kim opens and closes his mouth silently before sputtering, “But you— I heard— What…?!”
Chay worms his arms around Kim’s waist to get his attention and his head pops over Kim’s shoulder. “It’s okay, phi,” he says soothingly, “I brought him back.”
Big gets an eye full of Kim’s face flashing through four emotions he recognizes and thirty he doesn’t, which is thirty-four more emotions than Big can deal with. Kim twists around in Chay’s hold, just enough to squint at him from the corner of his eye without letting Big out of his gun’s sight line. 
“You know how to resurrect the dead?”
Chay drops his chin onto Kim’s shoulder with a huff. “Why do people keep asking me that? It seemed like a useful skill to know!”
“Obviously,” Kim scoffs, which is the first original response Big’s heard to that all day. “I meant you can do it? What, we’re you bored and just googled ‘how to make a zombie’ one day after school?!”
Chay rolls his eyes and pokes the undersides of Kim’s ribs. Shockingly, Kim pushes further into his hold, rather than away. “Don’t be silly. You have to be trained by a shaman to make a zombie.”
Kim actually turns to look at him dead on. His gun is still trained on Big. 
Chay cocks his head to the side. “What? I just googled ‘how to bring back the dead’ and went from there. It’s basically CPR!”
“That worked?”
Chay looks genuinely baffled. “Why wouldn’t it?”
Kim stares at him incredulously before suddenly going boneless in Chay’s hold, squishing him back against the wall. Chay does not protest being squished between Kim and a hard place. He actually looks delighted by it. Big would like to go throw up now. He doesn’t know if corpses can do that, but he’s willing to make an effort. 
“Of course it works, you’re you,” Kim grumbles. He knocks his head against Chay’s and rubs in a move so cute Big will throw up, death be damned. “If life worked for me like that...”
Chay beams and pats his stomach. “I’ll teach you!”
Turns out corpses can't throw up, but they can gag so hard they choke.
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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ⏬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Wh– yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do it…
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: … - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now… 
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOO—MP
page 15
Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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shoyostar · 2 months
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original pinned
[ ARCHIVING! ]
hi hii so,,, after a lot of thought and contemplating i think it’d be best for me to archive this blog </3
i came to tumblr nearly a year ago and it’s been fun but now i’m drained + uninspired, n i js have so much stress n negative emotions associated w this blog that now its time to leave and maybe start anew ?
who knows! :>
i’ve gone back and forth with if i should delete my works here or not bcs ik lots of people love them but they’ve js been a constant bad reminder to me and i’m not proud of most of them anymore :<< but as of rn i’ll be leaving them + this blog up!!
(may change in the future but i’m scared of the deact button LOL)
js kinda being on here stresses me out and its no longer fun so i hope that by doing this i can have some peace + you still get to read my old stuff :3
i started this blog js before my first year of uni and i never expected to stay this long on tumblr honestly,, like i was js gonna post a bit for fun n delete my acc LOL but i’m vv thankful for the almost 2k of you who stuck around and enjoyed my writing ^_^
youre all vv sweet n i wish i couldve provided more writing on here for yall to read before archiving this blog TvT i feel like i have nothing here honestly LOL
if my blog does deact, i may repost my fics on my new blog but for now i js wanna be lwk on here and not have to worry abt updating so many series at the same time (so sorry to all dfh, vbs, loveholic ++ all other fans of my ongoing series :<< the stress to write and update is too much for me to handle 😞)
please take care of yourselves and i hope to catch you again someday if you find me !! :3
bye bye!
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maxthesillyy · 2 months
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thinking about. i dont know how to phrase this really but. chloe and frank.
like. when Chloe killed Frank i (, personally,) feel like her guilt from it was less because she killed Frank, and More because she Killed Someone (and their dog).
but!!! thats not to say she didnt feel guilty for killing Frank. because she definitely did. because on some level. despite everything. despite all of his shitty behavior. a part of her still cared for him. that tiny 15-17ish year old part in her still cared for him.
because that 15-17ish year old with intense abandonment issues in her only had. a small handful of people in her life that actually cared for her, and when THOSE few people aren’t even doing the best job at it— it’s no shit that Chloe’s standards for Good Friends are going to be Immensely dropped.
and so. it’s kind of like what happened with Rachel, but WAY less intense. when she found someone who didn’t hate her, and was willing to hang around her—after so so long of people hating her and not wanting to be around her— it makes sense that part of her would kinda latch onto them a little bit.
and so, even after all of the shit she’s learned he did— even when Frank starts to hate her— even when he threatens Max and her’s lives— part of her keeps remembering him as one of the few guys who stuck around when no one else did.
it’s just that. no matter how bad the person— if you’ve known someone for years, and they were one of the only nice people to you in a town where theres like. four people that are nice to you— it’s gonna hurt if you kill them. even if it was self defense. even if it was entirely their own fault— even if you two aren’t on even remotely good terms anymore.
ESPECIALLY for such a sentimental person like Chloe. taking that in consideration it makes me wonder. maybe she didn’t feel bad for killing Frank. maybe she felt bad for killing the person Frank used to be to her. but maybe she realized that That Frank already died long ago.
but yeah. im mentally ill. take everything i said with a grain of salt considering it is 12:07 AM.
#my thoughts are a mixture of coherentness but also just enough of radio static that i cant write much of it out Correctly#but anyways dont you think it’s a little fucked that.#and maybe im reading it wrong but#like.#she really wanted to be friends with him in bts#she was really put that position#god idk#feel free to discuss about the whole. “chloe felt bad for killing Somebody not just frank” thing. that’s not something im 100% set in stone#with LOL. im open to other interpretations of it#that isnt to say the rest of this isnt open to discussion— but that part In Particular is#this post is mostly about how “frank was chloes friend” more than anything#it’s about how. out of the entire town. the shitty drug dealer is one of the guys who gives an actual shit about her#and about how. something happened in between BTS and LIS to make them hate eachother#like YES the 5000 dollar debt but that just CANT be it can it? was it rachel’s disappearance that destroyed them?#or did frank start declining after the whole dameon thing??? WHAT CHANGED THEM…..#anyways im sure im not the first to think of this and im ready to hear other peoples opinions on it#SCREAMING AND CRYING BC CHLOE IS LITERALLY SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER BUT PEOPLE ARE TOO MISOGYNISTIC TO SEE IT RAHGDHSGSHGA#if i had a nickel for every time i said “even” “despite” or “because” in this post i’d be rich#life is strange is a game about tragedy. and. misogyny.#ALSO TAKE IN CONSIDERATION. if u read this far.#that chloe likely met frank Before she was Really Truly convinced that there was zero hope for her to find somebody who cared for her#so it took a lot less effort for someone like frank to leave an imprint on chloe atp of her life.#and also partly why it was So Much More intense with rachel#hoping to god this is coherent#lis#life is strange#chloe price#frank bowers#rachel amber#…. i really doubt it will happen
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guinevereslancelot · 20 days
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applied to a bunch of jobs! 😅🙏
#took me three days bc i really wanted my dad's input on my resume and he took a while to get back to me#but i reallyyyy wanted to have applications in my monday morning and now i do :)#also feeling much better aboutbthe whole thing now that i have stuff to be excited about#still really really sad abt leaving the kids at my current job tho#but i drove by some of the places i applied today and researched them and im really optimistic about some of them#i even heard back from one already which i was not expecting at all#she literally emailed me like half an hour after getting my application and started asking me questions#like a pre interview#so thats nice#we went back and forth a couple of times#its not my top top choice but that place isnt officially hiring and might take forever to back back to me#this place is a smaller home daycare type place and urgently hiring but the pay is super good and a home daycare environment might be nice#and the pay is pretty decent esp compared to what im making now#the top top place is a fancy pants private school that going to be way more thorough abt references and background check#so they'll take longer to get back to me#but i found out after applying that my friend's mom works there 🤯#so she's gonna ask her to put in a good word for me :)#but they're not officially hiring according to their website it just says they encourage people to inquire so i did#so p unlikely i would get that one but you never know#anyway!!!!#finally excited abt things and not just filled with dread and sadness abt leaving the current place and kids#still makes me sad but im not on the verge of tears thinking abt it anymore lol#this has been a shitpost
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theclearblue · 9 days
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I'm gonna get into a brawl with my mother one day don't be surprised when I get on the news
#long rant incoming lol but#so my birthday is in like 2 weekends from now and my mom asked me for a list of things i want#so i compiled a list of six things with like 2 $10 options 2 like $17 options and one $25 and $60 option#and i wanna be clear i dont really care to make one but she gets pissy if i dont and its meant as more an ideas list#i dont need everything on there and its meant for my entire family#or ignore the list! i don't care!#FREAKED OUT on me saying i was being selfish/too expensive and im like....i never expected all of this stuff epseically from one person...#i am happy with one of the $10 options or a gift card or something else entirely so like#it kinda feels bad to get asked for a list of stuff i want and then get called selfish for it and then for her to talk behind my back about#me to my sister lol#also asked me if i was available for a bday celebration on a certain day and i was like yeah i got a thing in the afternoon but i can#still make it#get yelled at AGAIN bc she said oh u can leave that early and i was like...uh...no i cant lol im sorry....i paid to go to this thing already#and its like why ask me if u are gonna get mad if im unavailable (which im not even lmao)#idk it's just it's always been an ideas list in my family so i dont get why she's freaking out on me and acting like im asking for so much#espcially cause she just changed out all of her kitchen appliances and redid all of the landscaping in her front and back yard like 😭😭😭#truly didnt think a $10-20 gift was like crazy if u did wanna get me a gift lol#not really looking forward to it now ngl#chen.txt#rant post
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good-beans · 10 months
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You talked a little while ago about why you don't think Shidou would make a good father to Amane (agreed) and proposed the idea of Mahiru adopting Amane. That's cute but I want to tell you about my post-MILGRAM headcanon:
Amane joins the Kajiyamas
Not Fuuta specifically adopting her, but like him taking her back to his family's house. I'm sure they'd have a spare room
I think people don't think about Fuuta's homelife much, or if they do they take Fuuta's one interrogation question where he calls his dad an old fogey and assume its like, abusive
And don't get me wrong, I don't think the Kajiyama household are perfect. Fuuta' beautician sister surely hasn't helped when it comes to Fuuta's body image issues and I'm betting they're all a bunch of tsunderes too embarrassed to say they love each other
But in a series where most of the abused characters are still convinced their abuser loved them/acted out of love. Seeing a guy not be afraid to call his dad a loser is almost a green flag
I think it'd be good for Amane to not necessarily be adopted as the lone child to a single parent but get to be introduced to a very different style of family unit from her own One where its normal to express different opinions or disagreements or even have arguments and not have it be the end of the world
Amane already has a snarky side to her, I bet it'd flourish in a brash household like the Kajiyama's (or at least how I imagine them to be)
OOHHH wait I love that so much! >:O
I agree -- I never interpreted Fuuta's family as abusive or harmful, just not super close and struggling a bit after his mother left. (And yeah, all as openly emotional as him😭) They seem stable and very capable to taking in a extra, very well-behaved child. Assuming Fuuta is the way he is because of them, that atmosphere of being very honest and forward would work well for her. They say things as they are, little by little pointing out the harmful parts of her worldview. Like you said, none of them make excuses about harmful behavior stemming from love, so she'd get a really healthy dose of truth in that area. She never feels coddled or treated like a baby. They care for her while treating her very maturely.
I absolutely love how well she and Fuuta get along, with that snarky side to her that you mentioned. It would allow her to fit in well in the new household, getting the sense of belonging she'll lose after leaving the cult. Also, seeing how Fuuta and his sister let things slip and aren't perfect sons/daughters, she'll be able to relax about earning a parent's love through perfect behavior. She'll probably stay exactly the same, but her stress about it will fade <3
I doubt Fuuta's father can ever replace the hole she'll have from her own father, but the addition of an older sister will be huge. Amane will never get the feeling her mother is being replaced, but the woman will still fill the gap of the older, same-gender role model she needs. Her beautician job may throw Amane at first (being an indulgence in vanity), but it isn't as in-your-face as other careers. I think she could definitely ease Amane into accepting it, and over time, accepting her own personal "indulgence."
Plus, her moving in would also be really good for Fuuta! I think he'd recognize there's a ton of fun things she missed out on, and that heroic side of him outweighs the part that cringes: he gripes and groans about going to "kid places," but he's always the one to announce "I can't believe you've never been to __, we're going right now!!" This allows him to touch grass leave the house and experience his own life to the fullest. He's able to channel his desire to help society into a healthier outlet. Also, seeing her studying habits and plans for the future might even inspire him to do the same. (might.) He becomes the stereotypical good big brother, though of course he denies it viciously...
I have recently been going insane over their friendship so I'm completely taken with this idea OUGH thank you for telling me ;-----;
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cowboy-robooty · 2 months
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not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER
#i hated her to an unhealthy amount imma be so real#bc ive never done an internet sin of like shittalking outside of priv accs/dms#or interacting anonymously with people i hate etc etc#but there are things that are like corruptions for your own soul from how sour hatred can get#and she did that to me. and i only hated her enough to do that#i have only ever in my life actively hatestalked her blog when i was 14 bc she made me so fucking mad everyday#ive only ever in my life hatestalked her like shes the only reason i can comprehend why people are compelled to hatestalk#this was all back when i was like 14 tho lol and#ugh... im sorry. as you can tell the hatred i feel towards her is like soul corrupting level#i want to say im sure she has grown up to be a fine person and logically i know this is true#but also part of me is like there is no fucking way this bitch grew up to be a fine person like the lobotomy part of my brain is saying that#i will not tell you who she is btw so dont send me an ask begging for the user#and if for some reason you have a hunch who it is. you never know you could be wrong and even if youre not i dont condone harassment towards#her or like yknow just any association like leave her tf alone#i dont have fans who love me enough or are crazy parasocial to harass someone i personally hate/hated#but still just in case#shes not an actual bad person. i just hate her so much that it makes ME a bad person on the inside#its why im so glad that i turned 15 and went i need to stop looking at her forever or else i will reincarnate as a mosquito#ill only talk to u abt her if we are at least acquatiances with eachother#and i dont think anybody will be able to figure out who she is actually bc i never once was mean to her outside of telling my close friends#i wanted her dead. me when i dont act like a beast online despite the vietnamese devil inside me
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wikiangela · 2 months
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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#i know theyre just stupid entitled and arrogant assholes#who think they know me and anything abt my life but#i still get so angry bc ppl constantly judge me for everything#which is why i developed avpd in the first place lmao#but how can they say that im not even trying#i do. i exercise i journal i meditate. i beg for therapy (its almost been a year and still nothing lol)#i try. but avpd esp untreated avpd is actually a disability#ppl dont understand but avpd makes u passive and unable to do anything#even if my fav artist releases an album i procrastinate listening to it for weeks sometimes#ppl dont get avpd at all#i am a prisoner in my own mind and there is NOTHING i can do#i am in severe mental agony and pain bc of it#im scared bc im useless and worthless and cant take care of myself#but my mom's leaving me and im terrified of ending up homeless bc im not a survivor#im a loser pos nothing who is incapable of doing anything by myself#plus like yeah... my mom cant do any of this anymore and is close to breaking down#so im scared she'll just move and let me become homeless bc she feels so desperate and suffocated (not just by me)#i HAVE to get my shit together#i HAVE to do my assignments and pass my classes#and apply for university and student housing#and i HAVE to do this this year#it is so so so soon and im freaking out#im 25 and dont know how to be an adult#but im gonna be forced into that soon or i'll be homeless so im terrified#god... i hate everyone and i hate society bc in this world#you are all on your own#there is NO compassion or empathy or help#you gotta make it on your own otherwise you will die#and making it on your own with any kind of mental or physical disability or disorder or illness is so so so much harder#and ppl dont see or acknowledge that they just beat u down for not being 'strong'
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jitteryjive · 2 months
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i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)
#my little hc i kinda showed in the refs but didn’t point out: cuphead’s handle appears broken/in human form his ear is halved#cause he has microtia (that also affects the eustachiantube/middle ear). basically i am a HoH cuphead truther#also to add onto that i think he has poor auditory processing issues cause i also see him as AuDHD#double also. while he would use ASL on a bad hearing day i think regularly he also uses home signs to express words/concepts#autism-related btw. it’s actually a bit visible in insert cuphead media (to me at least LOL) that cuphead expresses a lot of body language#so not liking conversation oral or signed as well as replacing oral words w home signs is in character. at least to my headcanon whatever#floats your boat!#OH! plus his split upper lip that i draw him with isn’t related to the microtia. he just roughhouses and chipped/tore his lip open when he#was younger#cuphead is also a trans boy. it feels right to me LOL#even back in 2017 when i barely knew the game or also much about trans people i saw cuphead and was like hm. hm!#tbh he just pawned his clothes onto mugman. who i’ve also changed my hc for i see him more as bigender than a cis boy now#LOL. i cast bi on mugman. sorry buddy#OH HIM TOO. im so sorry mugsy i have like two headcanons for you 😭😭😭#she uses he/she 2 me. i like casting personal parts of myself onto mugman even if i gravitate more towards cuphead/chalice#i see him as a bi ace as well. and a hopeless romantic. i don’t ship uhh i don’t remember what it’s called#i don’t ship cala maria X mugman (respect though) cause i see the cups as kids and i’m also a hilda X maria shipper LOL#but in the show. i will be real that she is a hopeless romantic. Look at that dork#FORGOT TO MENTION. i am a cuphead aroace truther to my grave. KEEP THAT MUSHY ROMANCE OUT OF MY HIGH SEAS ADVENTURE!!!!#like i said w cuphead before mugman is AuDHD (they share. many genes LMFAO)#however the difference is that they express it in different ways; while cuphead’s is more linked to his hearing/social behavior#mugman’s is more related to her emotions. i see it through my headcanon colored glasses that especially in the show mugman has more#meltdowns between the two cups#he has high emotional sensitivity both in positive and negative ways; former as in being strongly attached to cuphead and latter as in#more prone to meltdowns as well as being very literal#which isn’t a bad thing of course. mugman we are shaking hands so hard we are the same#OK that’s all the ones i want to share right now. i also haven’t shared her human or cup design i did but i’m workshopping chalice!!!!!!#i am leaving her out intentionally she deserves her own post because i luv her so much#ok post over. twenty minutes dedicated to autism about the twins out of the trio#cuphead
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pocketramblr · 7 months
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Dash simulator
Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread
Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges
Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall
Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard
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Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it
Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard
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Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?
Blog 6: woo cherry pie!
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