#i feel like the primary emotion in trying to invoke is the feeling of how classic our world is these days

[acestories]

So, I know this isn't technically my writing blog (though I could make it), but I'm working on a story that I feel like at least someone here will like.

"In some ways the world hasn’t changed; Karens still scream at grocery store clerks for no reason, Douchebags think they own the roads, and the sun continues to rise every morning. But, it’s definitely changed; people fly through the air on their own, a car mechanic lifts the car he’s working on with his bare hand, and a thief outruns a squad of police cars. 

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. 2020 was terrible already, but as if that wasn’t enough it had one last fucking piece of shit to throw in our faces. Christmas night, there was a violet star in the sky. By new years eve, it had become a sun. By new years day, a violet mist that brought with it plague, one with a 10% mortality rate, and the rich and powerful hid themselves away from it. As they always did.

But as it turned out, ⅕ of those who survived it got what could only be called Superpowers. And very few of the rich and powerful got Superpowers. The inevitable started to happen. 

And where do I fit into all of this? Well, I'm the ñonbinary cat boy waiting for their take out to be ready. What? Just because I got Superpowers doesn't mean I don't want tacos. And these guys make a gochujang teriyaki sauce that is to die for. And I'm not gonna let some random ass fuck wad villain destroy this place, I can't recreate the sauce! 

The villain (who I think called himself Syndrome or some shit like that, I can't rememeber) charged at me, fist raised high. I'm able to dodge at the last minute, the concrete street corner shattering as it took the blow, which when combined with my latest bruises, are enough to tell me that this guy has one of those Escalating Strength powers in addition to the basic stuff.

Gotta take them out fast, before they start punching Blackholes or something. I think someone can do that?

The villain starts monologuing; ooooooh, his name is "Symptom." That's actually kinda cool, I gotta admit. Regardless, thank fuck this guy is long winded. Or really into L.A.R.P.ing. 

Doesn't matter now though; I charge at him with the speed of a bullet and unleash a flurry of blows. After a few seconds of what sounds like a machine gun going off, he starts to fall backwards, a look of surprise on his big stupid, neck-bearded face.

Heh, I caught him Monologuing. Guess that makes me a sly cat instead of a sly dog. :D

Oh yeah, the cat parts. While only ⅕ of survivors got super powers, over half of survivors got "fantasy bits." I got turned into a cat boy, but I've seen people with other parts. Someone I went to high-school with got turned into an Orc. 

Oh, and these things aren't a package deal, but there is enough overlap that it's testing fate to make a cat girl angry. So the Boomer who's screaming and making threats at me for not saving his car is either really brave or really stupid. I'm betting on the latter. 

Regardless, my food is ready and I wish to return home, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

[germiyahu]

That "racism of low expectations" point can be applied to more than Westerners patting their little Jihad Meow Meows on the head by the way. I think it also applies to American Jews, usually assimilated, acting like Israel is this Entity and not a country made up of mostly Middle Eastern Jews, people. When they do acknowledge that Israelis are people who aren't just acting in the interests of an all powerful governmental animus, they act like all Israelis are bloodthirsty frat bro soldiers wreaking havoc in Gaza because they think it's fun.

Because what is this? This tweet was in response to the chaotic backlash against Jonathan Glazer, who espoused a nearly identical sentiment. That sentiment being: Israel is using our Jewishness for some nefarious political purpose. It's not fair! We didn't sign off on GENOCIDE! How dare they use us to do this!

Israeli Jews are seen too unenlightened, too religious, too much of an embarrassment, to much of Diaspora Jewry. And yet at the same time their Jewishness is not even considered to be part of the political calculus of Israel at all? These not in my name types truly think Israel is a shadowy cabal of like 20 old white men (ironic) getting off on destroying lives and using as shields these poor innocent Americans and Brits, famously two peoples who've never twisted or corrupted the legacy of the Holocaust before.

They obviously have very hurt feelings that Israeli Jews dare to be Jews, to invoke their own Jewishness, Jewish values, to justify military action. They're not even really doing that? They want the hostages back. That is the primary concern if you poll Israeli citizens right now. And that's been the case pretty much every day since the pogrom. That's it. That's why they're saying Never Again. If that offends you as a Jewish person really let that steep. Really sit with your emotional reaction to Jews having a trauma reaction to traumatizing events and relating other events of Jewish trauma throughout history to that event. Ask yourself if it's appropriate to insinuate that they're using their Jewishness, sorry just YOUR Jewishness apparently, to make you look bad?

Israeli politicians have invoked the Holocaust outright, as a comparison. Because clearly the country whose "white" population is mostly made up of the descendants of Holocaust refugees has no business doing that? That's an affront to your name and your values?Again, why do you think everything is about you? Why do you think everything Israel does is even in your name in the first place? Is it American Brainrot Disease again?

You think Israeli Jews are so incapable of rationality and of yearning for social justice (they just want their family members back) that you erase them from the conversation. Israeli leftists are not real and are not working with Palestinians as we speak, and certainly aren't advocating for a ceasefire more successfully than anyone on this continent! Israeli politicians who speak to their constituents and use the shared cultural language of being Jews are trying to brainwash and influence Americans, because they have no constituents. Israel is just a bunch of racist politicians and a mercenary army that's trained to kill children specifically.

Like this is getting so annoying. It's clear they wish they could just excommunicate all Israelis, because they're Bad Jews. They want to take away their Jewish card, because that's not what Real Judaism stands for! And then they get offended when non secular Jews around the world dare question their Jewish identities in response to this behavior. Which I'm not condoning for the record, but how about you practice what you preach for once?

[askshivanulegacy]

For BAT: ❤️ (heart) 💔 (broken heart) 🍓 (strawberry) 🐞 (ladybug) 🧣(scarf) 👠 (heels)

❤️ (heart) - Who is the most important person to your character? To what lengths would they go to protect this person?

(WOW playing favorites much???? :P)

Okay, so 13 has SEVERAL people who are important to him (Five, Crow, Ahuska, Ulfan, his parents). But if we HAVE to pick ONE, then it would probably have to be Five, sorry forever, Ahuska. XD

Five probably doesn't know it, but he plucked 13 up out of one of the lowest points in his life. 13 volunteered for the Cypher/werebeast program not because he necessarily wanted that or cared about it, but because it got him out of his current line of work, which was bloody, unforgiving, ruthless, and depressing. Five gave him a reason to keep on living, gave him a home and the love and care and kindness he didn't know he needed. He singlehandedly turned 13's life around and made it into something genuine and incredible. Turning into a werebeast, as much as 13 loves it, is just a footnote to being Watcher Five's Cipher.

13 would go to obscene lengths to protect Five. Of course, circumstances have a lot to do with it, as he was definitely willing to leave Five in a situation that got his arm ripped off by Ahuska (not that he knew that would happen) (it was for Five's own good) (and really, that was the bed he made himself). But outside of that, 13 does not care who or how many people, innocent or not, are in the way, if they stand between him and protecting the life of his Watcher. Five is his person. He owes Five everything, and he loves Five more than anything. He would commit crimes to make sure Five is safe, and they would be simply inconsequential.

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

Aside from all the people he's killed throughout his career? Well, Thirteen did rip Crow's leg off. Or was it his arm? Anyway, Crow is several large pieces closer to droid than human, courtesy of 13. 8) 13 calls them enhancements.

Oddly, it's not something that really weighs on him because it was in the pre-flirt days when they were legitimately trying to kill each other. Crow was just too damn lucky for 13 to succeed, but he was definitely trying. I don't think 13 was even that annoyed for having failed. He was having too much fun at the time, and they're both professional killers. They both know the risks.

I do like to think that 13 did express some kind of remorse later on, though, in some rare, tender moment. He loves Crow's cybernetic parts to bits, but he regrets the pain Crow went through to get them.

13 does regret the pain he and Five have caused Ahuska, and he's doing his best right now to make up for it. Even so, there's probably some more emotional hurt coming Ahuska's way ... <_<

🍓 (strawberry) - Does your oc believe in anything? Are they superstitious? Religious? Atheistic? Has anything in their past made them this way?

13 isn't strictly superstitious, though there is something of a spiritual connection to his home planet of Ziost. Living primarily underground because of the harsh weather means that the uniquely lined native rock has taken on a huge cultural importance, as well as the bent trees and the shape of the landscape. It's the type of cultural connection and meanings that aren't loudly celebrated, but just kind of quietly there. As a teenager, 13's greatest wish was to escape from Ziost, so he didn't really know what he had, or what he'd lost, until it was gone.

He's not particularly religious, though (like most Imperials), he does subscribe to the idea that the Emperor is a living god, as well as the supremacy of the Sith. The evidence seems very real, after all.

He'll invoke the gods of various religious that have become popularized, but to say that he believes in any of them would be a stretch. In the Empire, the primary religion is the Sith and their unknowable Force.

🐞 (ladybug) - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see?

13's hobby seems to be the pursuit of perfect days, and he's had many of them! Generally, it's some form of relaxation, namely a beach, a spa, or both! Generous amounts of Five's cooking, minimal amounts of clothing (or, conversely, the most ridiculous and obnoxious clothing possible, which is swiftly removed), and 13 as the center of attention. His favorite people (somehow) don't all get along, so some combination of Five, Crow, Ulfran (and maybe even Ahuska, who has somehow entered his life <_<) will make him perfectly happy.

🧣(scarf) - What comforts your oc? Is it an item? An action? A person? Whatever it is, how any why does it comfort them?

13 is a very physical person, which probably has a lot to do with his early life as a werebeast. Touch is a huge comfort, namely from the people he loves. (That's since broadened into psychic touch, from the people in his life who are Force sensitive).

He is also very partial to soft singing and music.

👠 (heels) - How does your oc dress? Are they stylish or casual? Do they keep up with trends or do their own thing? Do they prefer designer clothes or going to the thrift store? Do they have a signature item of clothing?

Um. Yes? :'D

All of the above. But 13's signature style is stylish pieces, each quite trendy on their own, definitely from the most expensive and exclusive designers he can get his hands on, but cobbled together into the most obnoxious and visually offensive thing you can imagine. He's not above mixing designer with thrift (or theft). Part of the signature is that it's only worn once. ;)

But he can pull off casual looks as easily as designer styles. He can do dresses and heels. He looks some version of amazing in whatever he wears. 8)

[stardustdiiving]

Got tagged by @/kanonavi! 20 fanfic writer questions thing

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

UMMM. I think around 13 probably. I anon or orphan a lot of old stuff

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

32.2k words…probably at least an extra 10k in orphaned stuff though

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Its been solely genshin since 2022. Usually something needs to be a primary tier fandom hyperfixation for me to even think about writing fanfic for it , and then even then I rarely finish more than 1-3 fics for it. Genshin broke this streak bc something shifted in my brain and I’ve finished around a dozen things for it somehow

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) source of inspiration (genshin — makoto, ei, wanderer character study) — 541 kudos

2) better days (genshin — zhongli & xiao erosion fic) — 254 kudos

3) Pattern Recognition (genshin — wanderer & Nahida sickfic) — 254 kudos

4) are you happy? (genshin — postcanon wanderer & nahida) — 142 kudos

5) marvel fic I wrote when I was 15 — 97 kudos

The 1st and 3rd most kudoed fics were actually the first genshin fic I wrote + the first and only bnha fic I wrote when I was 16 but they don’t count because they’re like my disowned children who I should probably orphan but don’t in case I want the option to delete them? I feel they were made before I really processed how to characterize the characters n what sector of fanon I wanted to contribute to, so they’re really like, generic fandom tropey to me and vastly different compared to how I usually write in a way I find kind of unbearable. I am really deliberate in my art n writing in trying to appeal to my own specific n niche fandom tastes so to help me find a similar crowd of people to hang out with and am usually pretty successful in nailing the niche. But for these fics it feels I not only didn’t try to target my own tastes I somehow managed to write something I feel only people who like the fanon I actively don’t vibe with would like ?!? I have no idea how that happened!

it would be if I somehow managed to write a hat radish fic that had “maternal Nahida and her edgy teen son Wanderer” written all over the characterization as if this is not fanon I actively dislike and a lot of how I write hat radish is often motivated by me trying to fulfill my own preferences because I find them in conflict with a lot of fic I read about them? JSDJDNDJ. Itd be like. Where did that come from. How was this written by me. Its one thing to not like my work but how do I have a finished thing I fundamentally disagree with on all grounds that make up my interest in why I may want to write fic about a certain thing in the first place. Disowned child moment

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YEAH always even if I’m slow too. This is an extension of my habit with my art I usually always respond to every comment on my work I get even if it just feels like me repeating thank you over and over bc i like to acknowledge people who r interested in what I’m doing as much as possible to convey I appreciate it. I think it’s always helped in building a sense of community/connection w ppl which is what I’m more interested in as opposed to quantity of interactions

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk why this keeps happening but at least half my fics fall under “bittersweet” to “hurt no comfort” territory because I . Hmm. love character study that invokes complicated or ambiguous emotions. I think that’s the trend here

Id probably nominate someone to watch me die?. Its a xiaoven fic that was born out of me being interested portraying a xiaoven dynamic that felt at least somewhat believable characterization wise but pitched studying how venti & xiao’s deep rooted issues could clash with each other in a relationship in a way that’s rlly accidental and tragic when put with their feasible compatibility n care for each other. I have it on anon bc I have weirdly mixed feelings for it bc it feels like a xiaoven fic that probably appeals to any faction of xiao or venti fan who isn’t big on xv far more than a xv shipper

But idk how to advertise it as that bc it’s not like that audience would be in the xv tag?? and it’s specifically romantic xv so it categorically should be there. But it being in the tag feels weirdly hostile to me. I guess I feel it comes off as a fic that exists to be kinda contrarian and hostile to most ppls enjoyment of xiaoven but that wasn’t my intention :( it was made out of my own enjoyment of xiaoven….i just process romance weirdly and I think am more down with ship fic where the ship is kinda depressingly dysfunctional more than other ppl may be. I like the fic quite a bit but I just don’t feel it has a place to Go fandom environment wise

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I HAVE. no idea I feel like no fic I have up leaves off with emotions that are meant to be solely happy. The closest I get is bittersweet . Um. The scripted end of pattern recognition would take this spot but it like. Doesn’t exist yet (but it will…soon…..w)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HM. I don’t think I ever have. Probably in part I don’t write enough for it

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Look at this shrimp 🦐

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I actually love fandom crossovers as indulgent thinking exercises but I usually never get indulgent enough to write fic about it. However I did write a 30k Steven universe gravity falls crossover where the GF characters were SU gems in 2 months when I was 12 and I have no idea how I did that but it was crazy. Thats still the longest thing I’ve written . It was so much

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated a fan comic of mine I made when I was 13 a few times but never a fanfic iirc

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Surprisingly no!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I do shipping in such a weird specific way. My go to answer for this is bakudeku bnha but I kind of lose all feeling for a hyperfixation after it ends most of the time so I don’t really…actively like it…sort of….but it’s also a vague ride or die thing to me…it’s complicated… the fandom environment for it is so unrecognizable to me since I was into bnha idk how to talk to people about it anymore particularly the new generation of fans. I don’t really like actively Ship them in a fandom way but fictional romantic relationships that r very influential to me are Pearlrose Steven universe and Anthy/Utena from rgu

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I mainly just want to finish pattern recognition and I think I will. Ummm. Usually if I don’t finish something it’s bc I just lost interest in seeing it finished

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think people usually like my characterization especially in terms of like, exploring or pitching certain aspects/interpretations of a characterization . Like I feel people usually respond specifically with like “wow interesting characterization. Im adding that to my system of beliefs” this applies to both funny headcanons and more serious character portrayals.

I feel I’m also usually decent at atmosphere and invoking more visceral emotions when needed especially when the emotions in question are like. Mental Illness Monologues (tm) or jarring panic/fear/discomfort idk

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I. struggle. SO bad with like. Organizing how to execute all the thoughts I want conveyed in writing, especially the order of hie things should flow. If I want to hit on multiple traits of a characterization I’m doing for ex I have a hard time figuring out how to order it into a cohesive thing. This is kicking my ass with my oc comic story rn

I also have a hard time with subtlety & trusting my writing to speak for itself. I usually have very detailed thoughts on what I want to communicate and have to do a lot of shifting around to find a balance of feeling things are conveyed clearly enough to be caught onto and interpreted but not overexplained. Its not even a matter of feeling I need to dumb stuff down it feels more like me trying to write emotional analysis of writing I find interesting before doing the writing that would be Fun To Analyze. This is kind of the torture labyrinth when usually all I want to write is emotional subtlety and naunce

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Idk my usual rule is I don’t like when it feels forced. I feel I see it used with ship pet names a lot but as someone who doesn’t get the appeal of pet names conceptually it’s often almost a dealbreaker for me in fics if it feels forced in to be cute , and is not something I can realistically imagine character A doing for character B. Like it just wigs me out. I have no idea why I get such a strong reaction out of it

But I’m really on board when it feels like people pulling from their own experiences with being bilingual or sharing a similar background with the character. When it feels intuitive I rock it as fleshing out the character’s background and people really understanding the societal background and environment the characters exist in

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I have no idea actually omg. Especially in terms of what was first published

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Idk I don’t really enjoy my writing? Often when i finish a piece of writing I am usually satisfied I’ve executed an idea or communicated The Things but I’m not actively happy or proud of anything. Its like talking to me. I talk for myself and based off I want to say but overwhelmingly talking is for communicating with Other People so once it leaves my brain my experience with its existence ends and now it’s all about other people’s experience. This somehow does not apply to my visual artwork where part of the motivation to create it involves how my experience with it continues after its completion

Ummm. I guess my intuitive answer to the question is Pattern Recognition in the sense I feels it Conveys The Most I want to convey about a subject. But it’s also like the fic I cant stand to read the most and doing so is usually an ocd trigger too. Its complicated. I very much write for myself and my own interests and i never force myself to do so but having favorites or enjoying my work just feels incompatible with my brain somehow. And somehow this does not discourage me from writing at all

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the maze cutter

if you somehow don’t know what this is, it’s the new maze runner sequel that takes place 73 years after the events of the death cure. spoilers ahead.

i’ll be honest i finished reading this over a week ago and i’m very tired but i just realized i hadn’t posted my opinions yet and if i don’t do it now, i’ll just forget again.

for starters i don’t have the sort of seething rage for this book that i did for the crank palace. the primary reason is that this book is so far removed from the original canon and has almost all new characters, so i don’t really feel like it’s messing with something that i’m passionate about. i never had a real feeling or headcanon for how the safe haven/world would turn out after the series ended so i don’t care about the way he envisioned it, and in fact a lot of it makes sense. and the new characters are just that, new, so i have no attachment towards them that makes me more sensitive to the material, which is what happened with newt and the crank palace.

however this has also slingshotted in the opposite direction where i basically don’t care about the events of the book, or it’s characters, at all. this is for a few reasons that i’m going to try and simplify because once again, i am tired

there is simultaneously too much and too little happening in this book. right out the gate he throws like 20 new concepts at you with very little explanation and is constantly bouncing POVs so much that you get whiplash. it’s both information overload and incredible vagueness. i forgot that this was dashner’s forte, i.e. purposefully withholding information in ways that often don’t make sense in canon. now i don’t care if everything isn’t explained at the beginning, it’s natural in a narrative for information to be revealed gradually or at a later, more meaningful time. but that’s not what’s happening here. he’s just like okay here’s the orphans and they are nameless people except this one guy and here’s the godhead and the flare gives you superpowers okay back to the safe haven people. like HUH?! it just feels so far removed from the original trilogy. and honestly the concepts on their own i don’t hate but i feel like they should have just gotten their own books. like the godhead stuff should have been more fleshed out as it’s own thing, maybe with the remnant nation stuff included. if there was anything i would have wanted from a maze runner sequel (which i didn’t) i would have wanted to learn more about the safe haven, which we get shockingly little of, including the characters. some of them literally die at the end and it doesn’t even matter. it means nothing.

and i know that there will be two more books coming which...One Fear. so obviously the characters and lore etc will be expanded more in the other two. but that doesn’t make this feel any less like an outline rather than a real book. i’m sure other people who know more about writing could break down why it feels like this. i just know that nothing feels developed, nothing feels earned, and it needs to be cleaned up and tightened up. if he removed the 10+ shit and piss jokes (i’m not kidding) and replaced them with, like, character development, that would have been awesome.

my one real complain that invokes emotion in me is the few instances involving newt. the book’s prologue is of thomas receiving newt’s journal basically right after they arrive at Paradise and lamenting over his loss. then there’s a time jump, and at the start of each new Part, a section from newt’s journal is quoted. it’s called The Book Of Newt which is indicative of the deity that dashner is making him. a lot of the excerpts are written in a way that don’t really sound like how newt would talk, and he’s strangely wise like a sage old man. it’s revealed that newt’s journal is considered essential reading in the developed Paradise’s schools, almost like a literal Bible. and then.........at the fucking end, it’s revealed that HIS BLOOD has been saved in vials because HE IS THE CURE. now this is implied somewhat at the beginning since kletter is looking for newt OR sonya’s descendents, but straight up saying that newt’s blood is the cure is. what. hello? like all of these choices combined with the crank palace and the general attitude towards newt has made him expanded beyond what he should. just because the fandom has attached to this character doesn’t necessarily mean we want him to become the most special boy in the universe. i think arguably what draws a lot of people towards newt is the fact that he’s just a regular guy who got drawn a bad and unfair hand. the tragedy of it is compelling. when you start to expand it, you lose the meaning of the original story. it’s not necessary. but i guess to dashner, it is. whatever.

anyway tldr the concepts and bones had some potential but were incredibly underdeveloped and dashner should just stay away from newt forever

[canmom]

I'm sorry, looks like my tone didn't come across the way I wanted. I just felt slightly uncomfortable when, in a review where you deservedly pointed out how some jokes in Adventure Time repeat tropes that hurt trans women, fat people, disabled people etc. you yourself made jokes that repeat tropes that hurt adopted siblings.

Hi anon. I did get a bit defensive, definitely. Let me give you a more genuine answer.

So yeah, textually Finn and Jake are adoptive siblings. This is so far mostly played for humour - Jake's dad is a very silly caricature of a father, the rest of his family have not yet been introduced at this point (I don't think we've met Jerome) - but I think it's absolutely fair to say the dynamic they're going for with Jake's relationship to Finn is 'cool older brother'. It is kind of a failing of media literacy that I didn't pick up on that, thinking of them more as 'bros' in the figurative sense (very close friends). And I can see how that could make joking about Finn and Jake's relationship feel tasteless.

We could talk about the thin line between fictional portrayals of close sibling relationships and romantic ones (c.f. Azula bedroom scene). Bearing in mind that we're talking here about a cartoon boy and a cartoon dog - Finn and Jake are symbols. They invoke various associations based on the needs of the narrative. Trying to read it based on real human relationships is at some point going to founder against the fact that nothing about this show makes sense in 21st century human terms.

So I was reacting to a story about two boys who live together in a treehouse, do everything together such that they're basically treated as a unit, and constantly display a great deal of emotional sensitivity towards each other, which often draws parallels between their relationship and established romantic ones (for example, the gladiator episode, or the 'do the thing I like' in S4E16). Notably they don't really tend to show Jake in a 'sibling who takes on parental role' light either. I certainly don't think the show intends a romantic reading as the primary one by any means lmao, the way the show indicates romantic relationships is not subtle, but I found it amusing that it gives grounds for that reading at all.

But like sure. I don't mean to treat adoptive relationships dismissively. They are precisely as meaningful as 'blood' relationships and I'll keep in mind that it's an incest joke if I ever feel like making that kind of joke again. (which I probably will, because that just makes it funnier.)

That said, I do think the narrow focus on 'social justice' criticism as my only approach, particularly in the 2018-era liveblogs was... a limiting frame, to put it mildly. It's not that I think I was wrong, exactly, to find things like the early Ice King plots tedious. Princess Bubblegum for example becomes a much more interesting character once they start playing up the sinister, tyrannical angle and drop the 'love interest' frame.

But there's more going in this work of animation on that it would have been interesting to talk about. And having seen the alternative in the painfully didactic cartoons that have become the norm... well, I regret worrying so much about frigging Adventure Time of all things lol

[hexbugnano]

Yeah the change to pb's style is like.. Ouchie.. like i get why it was more well received bc it's "technically" better artistically (and the new lines arts improved on some weird anatomy) but at the same time.. i feel like that shouldn't matter? the original style was definitely invoking a more cartoony, early internet vibe i feel like. I still like this new style but it definitely feels like it lost a certain charm for me. At least the vast majority of people seem to enjoy it

yeah honestly, i'm very glad other people are liking it but i feel like the old style served it's purpose better for a petsite! i feel like readability in pet designs is very important, as well as the ability to project a personality onto the pet and "bond" with them. the old art was definitely more expressive, since the more realistic style and shading makes them more like... a real cat, and real cats have a more limited ability to emote. it's nice to be able to immediately know what genes a pet has at a glance without having to check once you gain a familiarity with them, and i feel even with just the primary coat patterns the cat previews they've been posting look "complete". in a way i feel like it limits customizability, because of how detailed the patterning is it will be harder to combine patterns creatively for new effects without looking way too busy. it also makes it harder for artists to just colorpick and go, and raises the bar for usermade items if you want them to match art styles. given supporting fan art communities is a stated major goal of the game, i feel like giving artists more complex patterns to try to translate into their own styles is a con. basically, it's definitely lovely, gorgeous art but i worry about its suitability for the genre, and the goals of the website, even aside from my personal taste.

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Sometimes the stars just align. My heart was in need of some comfort this week and you posted this incredible story that helped mend it in so many ways 💙 Ben’s self doubt and frustration - it spoke to me. The hopeful, transformative power of love - it filled me with warm fuzzies. And peppered all throughout are your wonderful, characteristic little bits of humor and nods. 🥹 It was so much more than I imagined when you described the prompt, ngl. Every scene is vital, every emotion is so poignant. This has already made it onto my favorites list for your stories.

Omg just the opening. “A familial insurance policy…your whole existence can seem like a contingency plan.” So succinct and cuttingly true. Ouch 🥺

Baby Ben having his archery success so completely ignored 😭😭 “Perhaps next time, they will notice.” Ahhhhhhhhhhh!! He is already learning to quietly shoulder the oversights. To curl in on himself and accept that he’ll never be the center of attention. My babbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyy 😩😩😩😩😩😩

The debutante and mama’s commentary at the ball, how she can do better. Reminded me so much of Ben’s anxieties around the masquerade in AOFAG. He ONLY became a catch because the titled one was taken, and even then, no one knew his name. Always the Number Two. The Tall One. The consolation prize, as you so aptly put. 

Then you RIP my heart RIGHT THE FUCK OUT by describing Violet and Ben’s first ball since they lost Edmund 😭😭😭😭😭 This is a scenario of their grief I never pictured before. Only Ant and Ben would have been old enough to go out in society at that point, and the primary purpose would be to scout for the next Viscountess and try to inject a bit more stability into their family. But Anthony doesn’t go. 💔 Omg the VOLUMES this speaks for all these characters!! Anthony doesn’t go because he doesn’t want to be addressed as the Viscount or receive anyone’s condolences. He doesn’t want to be reminded of the pain he’s trying so desperately to avoid. He doesn’t want to find a match because he refuses to love. He is probably exhausted from seeing Violet’s grief too and just can’t bear it in public. So he goes to drown his sorrows. But where does that leave Violet? Bereft and dependent upon the one other child that could be considered something of an adult - Ben. His role as emotional laborer and support animal is kicked into high gear as he has to step up and try to heal the hearts Anthony is too crushed to acknowledge. “Their burdens may be different, but the wish to escape them is often not” *screaming* You packed so much into a small scene here, it’s expertly done. “her whole bodyweight seeming to use him as her literal pillar of support. As he escorts her around the room, he is filled with admiration at her brave face. He can see the overwhelming sadness in her eyes every time the word dowager is invoked, and his heart cracks a little at the loneliness he can feel emanating from his mother’s very soul.” 😭😭 I’M TOAST.

Then Miss Bradstreet, omg 🤣🤣🥹🥹🫶🫶 You are too sweet to pop her in here. I was cackling with glee! To think she made Benedict’s palms sweat… 😮‍💨 Then I got a bit peeved at her when she was so dismissive to Ben. But like…who could say no to Anthony either?!?!? I just want to shake her and scream “GO FOR THEM BOTH, GIRL! SWOON SO THEY BOTH HAVE TO PICK YOU UP AND CARRY YOU INTO THE SHADE! INSIST THAT YOU NEED ONE ON EACH ARM TO WALK YOU BACK TO SAFETY!!!” I feel like maybe she didn’t have her wits about her that day. Or she’s blind in one eye from some dreadful embroidery incident. That’s the only way she could pick one over the other rather than just hyperventilating at them both 🤪🤪

Then we get to Reader - a fatherless second daughter, how absolutely perfect so that she can understand where Ben is coming from. 🥹 The way you describe the love at first sight, the sensations and chemistry just tearing through both of them - its gorgeous. I was holding my breath, so so happy for them both 💙

“A tall, baby-faced young man” pppfffttttt 🤣🤣 I immediately knew who that was. Bravo.

The hand kiss….THE HAND KISS!!! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE HAND KISS!!!! 😍😍

All of Benedict’s fantasies - the cottage life, the garden, and you loop back around to the archery!! FUCKING BEAUTIFUL FAYE!!! At last someone who will acknowledge his skill and join in the fun with him 🥹🥹🥹 Fourteen years he’s been waiting and now he has found The One. I’M EXPLODING INTO RAINBOWS OVER HERE 🌈🌈🌈

“and finally, the image that truly knocks the wind out of him, you naked under him, desperately moaning his name as you move together, entwined in ecstasy.” Oh shit 🥵🥵 well, this is Faye’s fics after all 😉 hot damn

“Benedict,” his name feels wonderful in your mouth, like a gift from the heavens. -yep, that’s what it feels like 😅

“ruffling his hair as you move to fix his cravat; it definitely needs to be more jaunty, in your opinion.” AAAHHHHH!!! Thank youuuuuu!!!!! 😁😁😁😂😂😂🫶🫶🫶

Guhhh, their conversation before the gallery. He still has these insecurities, so deeply ingrained he’ll probably never truly banish them. But he can dismiss them once they arise thanks to Reader’s reassurance. He has his own family now where he is the protector and provider - the one and only. First in everyone’s hearts 💙 And it’s so incredible and novel to him, he just gazes in wonder. I can’t….🥹🥹

“Thank you, my love, for being the light of my life; for always making this second son your first choice.” The bow on top. The perfect conclusion. So beautiful. 👏👏👏💓💓💓

Everything you write bowls me over but this one gave me an extra knock around the block. You take short and sometimes vague prompts and weave so much magic with them - you are so talented. This is sweet but not treacly; it addresses real angsty feelings that are completely canon for the characters; it explores our favorite character in a nuanced and important way; and the happy ending is so satisfying. I needed this. I love this. It’s amazing. You’re amazing. 💙

Second Son

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: The second son is, for once, the first choice...

Warnings: none really... mild angst, family dynamics, love at first sight.

Word Count: 2.9k

Authors Note: Request fill for anon here, about Benedict being the second choice for everything.... until his love turns up. Thanks for this request; I hope this is angsty enough for you anon. Im not sure about it tbh. Sorry that it's taken more than three months to get to it on my WIP list. Unbetaed. Enjoy <3

Benedict Bridgerton was born into privilege and can have few complaints. Except perhaps that he is always second. The spare. The just-in-case option. Being a familial insurance policy lends one more freedom than the burden of being the titled first son, perhaps, but it also feels like your whole existence, in some respects, can seem like a contingency plan.

____

His stomach swoops with excitement as the arrow pierces the target dead on the bullseye. And on his first ever archery lesson, just after his twelfth birthday.

He turns around to see if anyone is there to witness his triumph, but it goes unmarked. All his young siblings gathered around Anthony, patting him on the back for his achievements in doing the same moments before. Being a good shot is an essential skill for the next Viscount indeed. The fact that he has been receiving instruction for months already and this is Benedict’s first lesson hurts a little.

But he doesn't bother to bring attention to his arguably more impressive feat. It seems pointless now. Wordlessly he shrugs and walks towards the target, plucking out his arrow and starting again. Perhaps next time, they will notice.

____

“Is that the new Viscount Bridgerton?” Benedict hears a young girl murmur as he sweeps into the first societal event of the season, the spring following his father's death. 

“Oh no, my dear, sadly not; I believe that is one of the brothers,” her mother replies, acting as if he has no sense of hearing, even trying to ignore it as he is, surveying the crowd.

“Such a shame,” the young girl huffs, “he is so very handsome.”

“Yes, dear, but sadly not titled. We can do better,” her mother chides, moving them along out of earshot.

He will never get over how cutthroat the Ton can be, a part of his tender seventeen-year-old heart sinking. Not that he had a potential interest in that girl, more the principle that he will somehow be rendered as an also-ran, at best a consolation prize, for the rest of his life.

What is most galling, perhaps, is that, when his mother needs their presence the most on a night like tonight, the new VIscount is nowhere to be seen. Has not even bothered to show his face, running off to some spurious gambling den and brothel, spending the night indulging himself rather than facing society. 

So here Benedict is, stepping up to play the dutiful son that his elder brother should be. Being the support their mother so desperately needs at her first event as a widow, her arm looped heavily through his, her whole bodyweight seeming to use him as her literal pillar of support. As he escorts her around the room, he is filled with admiration at her brave face. He can see the overwhelming sadness in her eyes every time the word dowager is invoked, and his heart cracks a little at the loneliness he can feel emanating from his mother’s very soul. 

“Tis a shame the Viscount did not deign the first event of the season worthy of his patronage,” she states pointedly as she sips champagne.

“I am sure he has very good reasons for his absence,” Benedict replies soothingly, covering for his errant brother, attempting to shield their mother from the truth of his philandering ways. Benedict knows it is Anthony’s way of dealing with the responsibility of the title of Viscount being thrust upon him so young. But sometimes, just sometimes, Benedict wishes he could escape his grief in such a manner, Anthony taking his turn attending a stuffy ball and playing guardian to a grieving woman. Their burdens may be different, but the wish to escape them is often not, Benedict realises.

____

She catches his eye at a garden party at Aubrey Hall. She is a pretty young lady, maybe eighteen to his twenty-three, with bright eyes and a sweet, happy face. She makes his palms slightly sweaty. He watches her from a distance, uncertain how to approach or what to say, feeling a little tongue-tied, even. 

Just then, Anthony materialises at his shoulder.

“Who is that pretty young thing?” Anthony asks, tracing Benedict’s line of sight.

“Miss Bradstreet,” he replies, watching as she turns to face the sun, closing her eyes, basking in its warmth. The light captures her cheekbones perfectly, and he itches to have his sketchbook and capture her likeness. He would very much like to get to know her better.

“Let's go provide a warm welcome,” Anthony smirks, clapping a hand on Benedict’s shoulder and practically dragging him across the lawn.

Benedict reluctantly follows, a flutter of excitement as her eyes land upon them as they approach. 

“Miss Bradstreet,” Anthony swaggers. “Viscount Bridgerton at your service; I am so very pleased to be your host today,” he bows.

Benedict's stomach plunges as he watches her practically melt into the lawn right there, virtually swooning at Anthony’s feet.

“Oh, and this is my brother, Benedict,” Anthony adds, almost as an afterthought. 

She flicks her head to the side briefly to politely acknowledge Benedict before returning to Anthony. All of her undivided adoring attention on him as he regales the story of his latest hunting triumphs upon her insistence. Benedict heaves a sigh and watches as yet another young lady he likes chooses his brother over him. He is almost used to it now, but it doesn't stop the sting every time.

____

Your world grinds to a halt as you see him. He is descending the stairs with what you assume is the rest of his family. He is very much in the middle of a tight circle, walking behind what appears to be his mother and perhaps older brother. Quite the most beautiful man you have ever seen, your heart pounding in your ears, your throat suddenly dry despite the lemonade in your hand. You assume they must be the hosts, seeing as they are the very last to enter the ballroom here at Bridgerton House, and there is no announcement of their name.

“Who is that?” you whisper, leaning towards your elder sister. She has been out among society for a year and knows the Ton better than you.

“That is the Bridgerton family, of course,” she replies. “Illustrious in the extreme. Our hosts for this evening. The Viscount there is the most eligible bachelor of every season… and every season, he has resisted a match. So I wouldn't bother if I were you,” she sniffs.

“Which is the Viscount?” you check, your eyes unable to leave the beautiful man with a cravat tied in the most unconventional fashion.

“The one with his arm looped with their mother, the dowager Viscountess, naturally,” your sister rolls her eyes as if patently obvious.

“And what of the others?” you inquire keenly, realising the man you admire cannot be the one your sister is referring to. “Do you know their names?”

“I do not,” she admits, “such things are not really important when one is looking for a titled husband,” she points out airily. 

You nod, knowing the responsibility your sister must carry as firstborn to find a suitable match that can provide for your widowed mother and, indeed, perhaps yourself and your younger sister should neither of you be able to find a husband. You don’t envy her position one little bit. 

You are, however, desperate to get closer to the most beautiful man you have ever seen. And so you spend your evening working towards them, in as polite of a fashion as you can, your stomach in knots of excitement to know him.

“Dowager Viscount Bridgerton, it is an honour and a pleasure to meet you,” you curtsy, heart pounding as he now stands a few feet away, unable to look at him so close by.

“Hello, my dear and you are?” she asks politely.

“Miss y/n y/l/n, it is my very first season; I am so honoured to be here,” you explain. “I must provide the apologies of my mother, Mrs y/l/n, who could not attend tonight due to a cold, but she is so very thankful for the invitation.”

“Oh, of course,” the viscountess smiles. “I am so sorry to hear of her illness; please pass on my best regards… Anthony!” she turns to her side to grab the attention of a man. The viscount’s head whips around from where he is in discussion with another. “Come meet Miss y/l/n,” she needles pointedly. “Miss y/l/n, this is the Viscount Anthony Brdgerton, and he is so pleased not only to make your acquaintance but also for your presence here tonight,” she welcomes on his behalf, and you do not miss the subtle nudge in the ribs she gives him.

Then his regard is drawn to you. He is handsome certainly, and you appreciate his polite but absent-minded greeting. His attentions are obviously elsewhere, but then you cannot fault him as yours are the same. Your gaze strays over his shoulder to the man who first captures your attention. And your breath is stolen by how his hazy blue eyes stare intently at you.

____

Benedict is twenty-six years old when he is struck by lightning. Not literally. But that is the sensation that runs through his body when he first lays eyes on you—politely introducing yourself to his mother and thanking her for your invitation to this ball. 

He thought he knew what attraction was until this point. He thought he knew the depths to which one could fall in love in an instant. He was an utter fool. He looks at you, and at once, everything is so quiet and loud all at once. He is desperate to know you in a way he has never felt. To grab your hand, take you somewhere, and ask you a million questions to get to know your soul. He also wants to kiss you so much that his lips tingle. And inside, his lungs want to scream as his mother does the natural thing and introduces the beautiful, polite young lady to her most eligible son… Anthony. 

Then his heart jolts as your eyes stray from Anthony and meets his, your pupils dilating in a way that makes his lungs too small to inhale air. It is the first and only time a young woman has had Anthony’s full attention and has looked away from it. And to him, no less. The tidal flood of chemicals in his system makes it feel like he is vibrating in his very shoes.

____

You try your best to be polite and look at Anthony as he speaks, but your sight is drawn to this other man like a moth to a flame. From appearance, the second son, as you are the second daughter. A flare of understanding and sympathy in your chest as to how that is. You want to grab his hand and run away with him.

“My lord,” you find your voice and snap your eyes back to the Viscount, “would you do me the honour of introducing me to the rest of your wonderful family?” your ask, almost timid.

He looks temporarily taken aback, as if mystified why anyone in the Ton would care about the status of anyone beyond his mother and himself. You smile at him expectantly and do not miss, from the corner of your eye, how the beautiful man’s face is awash with surprise at your request.

“Oh, most certainly,” Anthony seems to snap out of his temporary stupor and turns to introduce his siblings in attendance. A tall, baby-faced young man stands to attention as Anthony moves from left to right. “This is Colin; he has just returned from his travels in Greece,” you nod and smile politely, knowing nothing of the subject. “And this is my sister, Eloise; it is her first season, and she is not in the slightest bit happy about that,” he adds dryly, and you can't help but giggle and feel a kinship with the spirited young lady who returns your wry smile. “My eldest sister, the Duchess of Hastings, who is visiting us,”

You curtsy and bow your head. “It is an honour, your Grace,” you add, and she smiles sweetly at you, her arm looped in her mother's.

“Obviously, you have met my mother,” he continues, and suddenly he is the last in the line. You feel your palms clench, sweaty in anticipation of learning his name “... and this is my brother, Benedict; he hopes to be an artist.”

You are finally brave enough to meet his eyes again. He is so achingly beautiful that the rest of his family, indeed the whole ballroom, melt away from your view—he is all you can see.

“Oh, I adore art,” you stutter, mesmerised, offering your hand to him, the first and only person in the family you do so to. Unseen by you, your gaze only on one man, Anthony’s mouth drops open in surprise.

Nothing can prepare you for when Benedict’s gloved hand gently touches yours, him bowing to kiss the back of your hand. You catch a woody citrus scent that makes your mouth water as he does so. And then you feel the warmth of his lips through your glove, and you are utterly undone.

“Miss y/l/n,” he rumbles quietly, the sound making your insides melt even more; it's deep and resonant and makes every inch of your body tingle.

“Please call me y/n,” you murmur, moving closer, knowing how scandalous that might be, but seemingly unable to stop yourself. He has a hypnotic hold over you that you don't want to fight.

“Only if you shall call me Benedict,” he breathes, and it takes Anthony clearing his throat to make you spring apart, suddenly remembering where you are.

____

His lips touch the silk of your glove, and he is gone. 

Already planning a future, his mind supplying images of you at his cottage out in the country, the lady of the house. Tending to the herb garden, reading happily curled up in front of the fire in the drawing room, fearlessly plucking a bow as you stand in front of joint archery targets gently teasing him for losing to a girl, and finally, the image that truly knocks the wind out of him, you naked under him, desperately moaning his name as you move together, entwined in ecstasy.

He hears your sharp inhale, and his heart skips at the idea you feel it too. That you are the first woman ever that sees him and not Anthony. Really sees him. Not as the second son. Not as a consolation prize. 

And when your body seems to sway towards him, he is already mentally asking his mother for a betrothal ring from her grandmother, which she said she is keeping just for him.

____

“Benedict,” his name feels wonderful in your mouth, like a gift from the heavens. “Please, may we take a turn around the gardens?” you implore, the boldest you have ever been in your whole life. 

“It would be my very greatest pleasure,” he responds.

And you know with absolute certainty you have met your husband, the father of your children, your very future. 

____

“It is not as if this is my show….” he sighs.

“You should not do that, darling,” you say affectionately, ruffling his hair as you move to fix his cravat; it definitely needs to be more jaunty, in your opinion.

“Do what?” he breathes, his wedding ring catching the light as he places his hands gently over yours and stills your motions.

“Think of yourself as second,” you argue, running your hand over his cheek. “This gallery opening may feature others' work too, but you are the star of the exhibit,” you reassure, tilting his forehead down so it rests upon yours.

There it is again. That look that always floors you. Even now, a year later. Like you are the most wondrous creature, and he can scarcely believe you are his.

“Never forget, you will always be first to me,” you utter fiercely, watching his eyes soften with devotion. “And not just me….” you guide his sizeable warm hand onto the swell of your belly, “to us. We love you so much, Benedict,” your tone is ardent, wanting him to believe he deserves this recognition, that he should believe in himself the way that you do.

“I love you, too,” he responds quietly, reverentially. “So very much. Both of you are my whole world,” his voice choked with emotion, and you throw your arms around him and squeeze hard, wanting to telegraph just how much he is the very centre of your universe.

An hour later, you clutch your hands over your chest as you watch him being brought onto the raised stage and introduced to the crowd as they applaud him and his work rapturously, awaiting to hear him talk of his art. As he does so, you stroke your belly unseen under your cloak, beaming with pride for your wonderful husband.

____

He sees your face in the crowd, and as ever, it calms him, especially at this landmark moment. So as he finishes the speech that he has rehearsed for days now, he decides to do something perhaps unconventional but something he seems unable to resist.

“Lastly, before I allow you back to your champagne,” he jests, finally at ease with the attention and recognition. “I want to thank my life’s inspiration, the very reason I stand before you today. My wonderful wife. Thank you, my love, for being the light of my life; for always making this second son your first choice. You will always, always be my first choice. I love you.” 

Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @mlovesbridgerton @m-rae23 @last-sheep

[charli-at-uni]

Cracking the Code: Your Essential Guide to Crafting a Viral Future

Scrolling through my TikTok feed, I stumbled upon Reesa Teesa's "Who the Fuck did I Marry" series of videos. Like many others, I became entranced by this series and, in turn, wanted to understand how and why it skyrocketed to internet fame. Why was this 52-part saga that chronicles a tumultuous relationship with woman and her pathological liar ex-husband garner such widespread virtually practically overnight. What made it so captivating? I found the answer lay in the series' adept use of storytelling principles, particularly Freytag's five acts of dramatic structure.

Each episode of Reesa's series followed a narrative arc that kept viewers hooked from start to finish. In the exposition, she introduced key characters and established the foundation of her troubled relationship. As the rising action unfolded, tensions escalated as she uncovered her husband's deceitful behaviour, leading to a climactic confrontation fuelled by revelations of his lies. The falling action saw Reesa grappling with the fallout of her discovery, ultimately culminating in a resolution where she emerged stronger and liberated from her toxic marriage.

Inspired by Reesa's success, I sought to apply similar storytelling techniques to my own content, catering to struggling university students who may not have the means to afford high-end hair care products. As a university student myself, this is something I can empathize with. My video aims to resonate with my target audience by evoking positive emotions and making viewers feel more beautiful. Leveraging Berger’s primary predictor of joy and excitement, recognizing that, I know that invoking positive emotions will increase the likelihood of my video going viral. Moreover, I emphasize the importance of self-care and grooming routines, particularly for students who are juggling academic responsibilities and tight budgets.

By offering a practical and affordable alternative to luxury hair care items, my heatless curl method enables students to enhance their appearance and boost their confidence without breaking the bank I am using Aristotle's drivers of persuasion - ethos, pathos, and logos. They play a crucial role in my content strategy. Ethos, or credibility, is established through my genuine desire to help others and my relatable experiences as a student. Pathos, or emotional appeal, is evoked by emphasizing the transformative power of self-care and the sense of community fostered through shared experiences. Lastly, logos, or logical appeal, is demonstrated by offering practical and affordable solutions to common challenges faced by students.

By capitalizing on the unattainable standards often depicted in viral lifestyle videos and providing a realistic alternative, my content addresses the growing demand for accessible hair care content, particularly among students and beginners. By offering routine or beginner-level techniques, I aim to provide a practical approach that resonates with those who may be unsure how to try new hair care techniques.

In addition to the video, I created an original meme using Berger's STEPP model to further engage my audience. By tapping into common struggles faced by university students, such as sleep deprivation, and offering a humorous perspective, I aimed to evoke emotions of camaraderie and solidarity while providing practical value. As seen below:

I leverage social currency by incorporating a widely recognized meme template, ensuring that my content resonates with a broad audience and garners immediate attention. Secondly, I tap into triggers that university students can relate to, such as the struggle to get enough sleep amidst late-night study sessions and busy schedules. By referencing these common experiences, I create a sense of familiarity and connection with my audience.

Emotion plays a crucial role in my post, as I aim to evoke feelings of humour and connection among my audience. By making light of the shared struggle of university students to get a decent night's sleep, I transform a negative experience into a relatable and light-hearted joke that elicits laughter and empathy.

To achieve maximum visibility and engagement, I have decided to share my meme on social media platforms frequented by university students, such as Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Additionally, I target specific communities tailored to university students, such as QUT Love Letters or other university social platforms. Encouraging engagement and sharing among peers amplifies the reach and visibility of my post, allowing it to resonate with a wider audience.

Finally, my post offers practical value by acknowledging the shared experience of sleep deprivation among university students. By providing a humorous perspective on this common challenge, I alleviate stress and foster a sense of solidarity within the community. Overall, my social media post effectively utilizes social currency, triggers, emotion, and practical value to engage my audience and foster meaningful interaction within the university community.

Though I may not achieve the instant viral success of Reesa Teesa's videos, I'm confident that employing these strategies will keep my content engaging and relatable over time. And personally, I know I'd be hooked by these posts – but maybe that's just me!

[wisteria-lodge]

bird primary (system in progress) + burnt badger secondary (really loud bird model)

Howdy! I’m still trying to figure out my own houses and was wondering if you could provide some insight. I haven’t exactly mastered the system so I don’t know how accurate/inaccurate my claims are, so bear with me.

The “why”/Primary: I am extremely motivated by knowledge. I want to know things, not just out of intrinsic curiosity (though that does play a role), but because knowing why things work helps me protect myself more effectively.

One of the trickiest things about this system is separating motivation from method. Because yeah, they are related, but they're also really different. Like this example: "I protect myself by learning things." That's a how, that's secondary stuff. (Bird secondary of course.)

A recent example is this— a group of my former friends all ditched me because I discussed a heavily stigmatized mental disorder that I show symptoms of. And my first response (other than bawling) was to ask them why. And when I got the answer, I was hurt, but I understood. I don’t say this for you to show me pity, but rather because it illustrates this model in action.

This is a really interesting example. Your friends acted in a way that emotionally hurt you. First you processed your feelings (which you talk about in a dismissive, lighthearted, jokey way) then you asked them for more information... which hurt you, but also made you more secure. This is very Bird primary. You feel feelings, but they're whatever. What actually bothers you is not having the data.

(I suspect you're going to end up being a Double Bird. And Double Birds are unique in that their morality and problem-solving are SO interconnected, that they think I'm crazy for saying that for most people, they are in fact two very different things.)

When I got the why and processed my emotions, I cut off ties and realized that their severe judgy-ness had hindered my life for 2 years. And now that I know the “why”, I won’t bring up said disorder again until I know it’s safe. It might never be, but I still have hope.

You updated your system, and you cut away the parts that aren't serving you anymore. Bird primary.

Morally-speaking, I am very sensitive to the views of others around me.

External primary.

I’m not proud of this. In fact, it’s a detriment.

A lot of Birds feel this way. It's a big part of why they tend to like Lion primaries. Lions are much more able to dismiss things with "sounds like that's a them problem."

I won’t go into details, but my parents are… bad. Not wholly, but they are bad. I’ve tried for years, and still do, to escape their opinions because I know it’ll influence mine.

Parents are sticky. They do that. I've been a happily UnBurnt Lion primary for a while now... but I still sometimes hear that voice in my head that sounds like my mother.

And, much like them, I tend to get over-passionate in what I stand for. Unlike them, I’m willing to change if evidence supports this change. I always, however, carry the burden of my former hatred. I always feel guilt over my old beliefs. Even if I’ve changed, the pain I’ve done can never be reversed. And this guilt eats me alive, this shame of being fundamentally wrong.

Okay. You got really emotional on me really quickly here. This could mean a couple things. Your parents sound like fairly toxic Idealists, either Exploded Lions or Exploded Birds (I'm sort of leaning Lion due to the more emotion-heavy words like "passion" and "hatred.") Birds can feel bad, feel guilt, feel shame when looking back at an older version of themselves that they now consider morally repugnant. (Birds are human.) Idealists struggle with the angst of worrying that they are fundamentally wrong about the world. So you could be a guilty Bird, especially if your emotions feel wrong or unhelpful somehow. But you could also be a very Burnt Lion modeling Bird - because Bird seems safer, and you don't want to be a Lion the way your parents are.

When the friend-event happened, I thought that I was in the wrong, and that I had once again fucked myself over because of my passion and sureness in what I have.

"I thought I was wrong because I was acting like an Exploded Lion primary." Yeah, I'm thinking there's some sort of outside influence here that needs to be unpacked.

It took a lot of convincing and evidence for me to see that they were the assholes (albeit I wasn’t pure either— I was their friend, after all).

I'm definitely leaning Bird for you. A bird surrounded by Lions maybe, who sometimes uses Lion terminology. But Bird.

I am a planner and system-lover at heart. I’m not proud of it, but it’s just part of me.

What's with all this negative language? Being a planner and a system-lover is a wonderful thing to be. There's some Burning here.

The caveat— I have autism, so I’m not sure if it’s due to that or not. Hence the shortness of this section. Take it as you will, regardless of if it’s evidence or not.

I have autism and I'm a Lion Badger. People are different. The only real pattern I've observed is the way nerodivergent people disproportionately build Bird secondaries as coping strategies.

Honesty is maybe not the best policy, it’s still an admirable one. I wish, frankly, that my moral system was more honest. I feel like I have no set morals. That it all comes from elsewhere. Lion primaries have this set, intrinsic morality that I envy. My friend is a lion primary, and while my views have radically changed, hers haven’t inched. She’s always been honest about herself and what she holds true.

I'm doubling down on Bird primary for you. This is the perspective of a Bird looking in on a Lion. Lion morality isn't set or intrinsic - it's built, and it changes, but it builds and changes differently than a Bird's does (more slowly, usually). But there really is a pattern of Birds seeing it as more moral/easier/better.

And I’m still trying to figure out what “truth” means to me. I mean, yes, I’m a dry and blunt asshole, but that’s not really the same as gut morality. Internal honesty is what I want, and external honesty is what I have to some extent.

It sounds that you are going though a lot of very intense shifts in your life right now. You've got a diagnosis that has you questioning your place in the world. You've followed your parent's system all you life, and are now deciding that you don't want that. But now comes deciding what you do want, and that's a lot harder (especially for a Bird, who has to build it from the ground up.) You like the way Lions do things, but Lion primaries do not feel accessible.

I’m very clear with who I like. I can admit their faults, and even get annoyed or angry at them, but not even betrayal can stop me from loving them. I’d compare myself to the Twelfth Doctor from “Doctor Who” and Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders in that regard.

So maybe you are building a system with very Snake values.

Loyalty is one of my weaknesses. I get overly-attached to people, and so if/when they leave me, it shatters my world. But my brand of loyalty is mostly to people, not philosophical ideas.

... but you're not *really* comfortable with Snake either, if you consider it to be a "weakness."

I would consider myself somewhat philosophical (well, as much as a fucking teenager can be)

Teenagers are *extremely* philosophical, stop being so down on yourself.

but I can be somewhat vague in my beliefs.

Because you're still building them, give yourself a *second.*

If I were to rate the likelihood of what primary I think I am, it’s something like this:

Bird: 9/10 probability (maybe burned)

Snake: 7/10 probability

Badger: 6/10 probability (maybe burned)

Lion: 2/10 probability

What is it with Birds and numbered lists?

The “how”: I feel like I change in order to fit in. I mean, to some extent, we all do, but it’s far more drastic for me. With the lion primary friend, I act as a “Jason Todd” to their Batman. I challenge them, egg them on, crack jokes and become violently passionate and act like a nerd, and she simply watches, usually adding her own comments but mostly sitting on the sidelines by choice. We also joke that I’m the Ferris Bueller to their Cameron Frye. But, with another friend, I’m a parent figure. I listen most of the time, and sometimes jump in with creative ideas and we talk for hours about it.

I'm guessing Actor Bird, both because you can specifically list out the qualities that you "act" out. And because you're invoking and basing your performance off specific [fictional] characters. Which is a HUGE Actor Bird thing.

I go with the flow of a given situation as best as I can (with the added caveat of being autistic, because that does affect how well I can read a room). However, that’s where the adaptation ends.

Huh. I'm hearing Burnt secondary language here. "I'd like to go with the flow and read the room - but I can't, because I'm autistic." You can definitely *learn* how to read a room. Why do you think I'm so interested in (and good at :) personality systems? This is how I learned to use my Courtier Badger. I used to model Bird secondary like crazy, and I kind of don't bother anymore. I don't need the training wheels.

Planning: like I stated before, I’m a planner. I try to learn the most about a situation before jumping in. Sometimes, however, I stall the inevitable and miss my chance, so I jump in and wind up nearly drowning. And this dichotomy repeats. I overcompensate for a lack of knowledge in a situation by micromanaging, or I wind up sitting bored when I’ve already done everything I need to do. And yes, stress and boredom are equally as destructive for me. I try so hard to plan to avoid both of these outcomes, but it only works half the time. So, I guess I’m a bit of a “planster” overall.

I want to learn about a situation... but sometimes I "stall" or "drown" (Burnt language.) But planning also leads to "micromanaging" and "getting bored" (model language.) I think you've got a really loud Bird secondary model... but there might be something else underneath.

Collecting things is fun. Postcards, candles, lighters, crystals, rocks, 1940s hats, knowledge, stories, music, (original) characters, the list goes on. I’m a collector of whatever I can get my hands on. Hell, by this point, I can’t tell what’s my special interest and what I just enjoy (again, autism).

Oh my goodness gracious 'my special interest' and 'what I enjoy' are not two different categories!

But my systems and collections are my coping.

Figured.

I can’t say, though, that they hold any weight outside of emotional release. There’s nothing practical about knowing how they shot The Outsiders movie, or how crows have a flat tail and ravens have two main sections on theirs. All of this knowledge almost feels useless to me. I mean, sure, I’m great at school, but what else? Nothing, it seems like. And being good at school and nothing else makes a person go crazy when they can’t achieve their academic goals. But that’s a bit besides the point— I’m a collector, but I’m unsure how well this really fits into a secondary beyond a model.

Bird secondary model.

I invest in others more than I care to admit.

Oh man, are you a Badger secondary like me?

I genuinely believe in the goodness in humans, no matter how impossible it becomes. Even those who I don’t see any good in aren’t wholly evil. My perception isn’t law.

^ That's primary stuff. Maybe a more Badger-flavored system is going to work better for you than a Snake-flavored one.

But some people trust me: with their secrets, with homework, with relationship issues, with their religious struggles. And I try to help. I might not be good with it, but I do try to help as best I can.

Kinda sounds like a Badger secondary.

I use my planning and my categorizing skills and my knowledge to benefit others. I show up, I do what I need to do, and I don’t usually expect much to come of it. It’s nice when something does, but it’s not expected. And sometimes, these investments into others' lives and grades and relationships do pay off. I make friends. Those friends stick by me, and I trust them. I continue to invest in others, because I am a lover even though I’m cynical.

I think you're a Badger secondary.

And when that trust is broken, like the example in the beginning, I go to people who won’t abandon me to get a second opinion. When I say that I love someone, I mean it. So it hurts when they leave. It always does.

Oh that's your friends leaving hit you so hard. It's not an abstract morality thing at all, it's practical. You're a Badger secondary, and they were your base of support.

I’ll be frank on this— I’m almost entirely sure that I’m not a lion secondary. I’m fiercely efficient and some people see me as a good leader, but that’s it.

Lion and Badger are the two Inspirational secondaries. They're the one who sort of manage to collect armies or families as a side effect of existing.

Even with the leader example, I prefer interpersonal relations or to be alone. I’m not a big fan of group settings.

That's fair. I am also a Badger who really, really likes my own company. Or small groups of interesting people.

If I were to rate the likelihood of what secondary I am, it’s like this:

Bird: 7/10 probability

Badger: 6/10 probability

Snake: 5/10 probability

Lion: 0/10 probability

Other systems for comparison: I’m aware that MBTI and enneagram are, at worst, pseudo-science, but I still enjoy them regardless. At best, they’re fun self-help tools, and that’s how I try to use them.

MBTI: INTJ (Ni-Te-Fi-Se)

Enneagram: 5w4, tritype 514

Sagittarius sun libra moon cancer rising in astrology

FLEV or LFEV in attitudinal psyche

sx/sp (sexual and self-preservation) in instinctual variants

MBTI, Enneagram, and astrology are all fun in their own ways. (I don't actually know the last two!) And I can talk about them on their own terms. But this system was the best, and the most useful, when I went looking for words to describe myself.

I hope this is enough information, and thank you again if you do happen to do this! If you don’t, that’s totally okay. Have a good day!

Thank you for writing in. That was a journey! Thanks @thesketchykid for the submission.

[dwellordream]

“Helen's character in the Iliad has usually been taken at face value by scholars: they describe her rueful responses to Priam and Hector and her angry rejection of Paris and Aphrodite as sympathetic depictions, often without analyzing in any detail the ambiguous quality of these verbal exchanges. I suggest, in contrast, that in these exchanges 1) Helen's apparent tone often does not match her ultimate intention, and 2) the speech types she uses— which range from the mournful widow's to the flyting warrior's—are transposed from their usual contexts to form locutions unique to her. Helen is also significantly aware of her centrality to the narratives of others, manifesting a concern for reputation (kleos) that connects her to the Muses, the Sirens, and ultimately the poet, as a number of scholars have recognized.

In the Teichoscopia (//. 3.141-244), for example, when she is asked by Priam to name a warrior, Helen uses her identification of Agamemnon to frame an elegiac look at her own past, thus substituting her story for his. Her reply is not particularly suited to the context. In fact, it somewhat resembles in content Andromache's mournful speech in book 6, when the latter bewails her widow's fate to her living husband. Andromache's voice, however, is consistently grief-stricken, and her use of the mourner's topoi (e.g., lamenting family ties, dilation on the effect the death will have on one's life) coheres with her role as loyal wife. Helen's rueful self-reference instead mingles regret with an emphatic awareness of her own singular status. 

When Priam asks Helen to name Ajax, her identification moves quickly from his epithets to the Cretan leader Idomeneus, who as a guest-friend of Menelaus reminds her again of her own story, and she remarks on the absence of her brothers from the battlefield (3.234-42). She then conjectures that their absence can be explained by their fears of shame and reproach that are rightfully hers (3.242). Since she views the actions of others as dependent on her error and rues bitterly this damage to her reputation, Helen assigns herself the crucial role in others' stories, thereby giving voice to the blame tradition that the narrator avoids. Her sense of her public reputation is anomalous among the female figures in Homeric epic; kleos is rightfully the concern of the warrior, not of the warrior's prize. 

Like any good warrior (and unlike her paramour), she fears the insults of others (3.242, 3.412, 24.767-68) and recognizes the vulnerability of her public position. Helen, in contrast to the chaste Andromache, treats her story—in part the battles waged essentially for her that she weaves in her second husband's halls (//. 3.125-28)—as if it were the story most central to every warrior's life. And this in some sense is the case: whereas the mourning wife's story would only be properly told in keening over her husband, Helen's story is on the lips of everyone, since it is relevant to all the warriors. As the catalyzing, fateful figure for these heroes, her story is their story; her own kleos is inevitably bound up with the kleosoi each.

But the complexity of Helen's figure and voice in this scene does not end there. Before she lapses into self-reflection in response to Priam's first inquiry, she says that he is worthy of veneration (aiSoioç ) and fearsome (ôeivôç ) in her eyes (3.172), using a show of extreme respect that implies an apologetic attitude consistent with her penchant for self-abuse, the primary stylistic tendency unique to her. Helen then declares, in reference to her coming to Troy, "Would that evil death had pleased me" (3.173 -74), invoking in a sensuous manner the end point with which she is associated. She makes a similar (though blander) declaration in her mourning speech over the body of Hector in book 24: "Would that I had been destroyed before" (764). 

Andromache uses a related construction when, as Hector is dragged around the city walls, she regrets that Eetion bore her (22.481). In book 21, fearing an unheroic end to his life, Achilles cries out to Zeus in prayer: "Would that Hector had killed me" (279). In the Odyssey, the shade of Achilles wishes something similar for Agamemnon: "Would that you had met your death and fate in Troy" (24.30- 31). Most famously, in Odyssey 5 Odysseus exclaims as he faces the storm near Scheria, "How I wish I had died and met my fate in Troy" (5.308); he repeats the exclamation in the fictional account of his travails that he gives to Eumaeus (14.274).

The ophelon phrase thus seems to be a locution used both by those in mourning and by Homeric heroes caught in threatening or painful situations—or, in the case of Odysseus, when telling about them in guest-friendship situations. The phrase does not, however, only communicate bitter despair (which may be either a cri du coeur or a persuasive tactic). When turned on another, it may also be used as an insult in verbal contests, reproaches, and taunts, an important aspect of its usage for analyzing Helen's speeches. In the Odyssey, Odysseus most frequently utters the phrase, deploying it twice (of four times in the Odyssey and once in the Iliad) when he is trying to use a painful situation to gain sympathy, a complex deployment similar to Helen's. 

In the Iliad, it is Helen's favorite locution for expressing both despair and scorn, which she usually does with some other end in mind (of all characters she uses the phrase most often, five times in the Iliad). As a stranger in Troy, her usage in the Iliad resembles that of Odysseus in the Odyssey, who must make clever use of guest-friendship situations to win his way home. Just as Odysseus, when seeking empathy from the Phaeacians {Od. 11.547), regrets that he won Achilles' arms instead of Ajax, Helen, when seeking empathy from Priam and Hector {II. 3 and 6), regrets that she followed Paris. Though each time she employs the phrase Helen's aim is slightly different, never is it simply the direct outpouring of emotion that it sounds. 

Although its repetition links her tone both to mourning diction and to the hero's emotions and concern for kleos, her application of this type of phrase is unique. Rather than actually being a widow or a hero in challenging circumstances, Helen echoes their outbursts by employing an emotional appeal that sounds like self-address, a layered locution whose related aims are deflecting blame and cementing allegiances. In her use of the phrase to cast scorn on Paris, for example, once she seems to be teasing him and once to be flattering his brother. The earlier scene in book 3 involving Paris alone is plotted by Aphrodite, whose machinations irk her protegee and who inspires in her a passion that seems suspended between desire (for the beautiful Paris whom Aphrodite describes, 3.391-94) and anger at the very goddess with whom she is so closely associated.

Note that Helen herself calls her painful feelings aKpixa (3.412), the most common meaning of which is "confused, indeterminate," a word that thus underscores both the complexity of Helen's passion and (what comes to the same thing) the merging of roles in this scene, so that Helen's abuse of Aphrodite comes close to self-abuse. Helen has been referred to as a "faded Aphrodite";  their conversation resembles an internal dialogue—a debate not only between Helen and her daimon but also between two of the facets that make up her many-sided figure, with its multiple motivations and opposing traditions. Moreover, her scornful responses to her intimates resemble each other: she exhorts both Aphrodite and Paris with dismissive imperatives (3.406, 432) and pictures each in a compromised position (3.407-9, 434-36); correlatively, she uses the ophelon phrases of both herself and Paris.

Her reproach of Aphrodite for using seductive talk (3.399) also recalls Hector's insulting of his brother for being a seducer (3.49). Helen engages in this derogatory language only with those closest to her; a significant variation on the normal context of such blame speech, her usage parallels as well Hector's treatment of Paris. The scornful abuse of one so intimate can sound similar to the dueling speech of warriors (e.g., the use of negative epithets and goading imperatives). Coupled with Helen's self-abusive epithets, this speech and that in which she reproaches Paris mimic the aggressive challenge of the hero on the battlefield. When Helen returns to the bedroom as ordered by Aphrodite, her expression and tone suggest pique, while her taunting phrases recall the flyting warrior: "Would that you had died there," she says, "subdued by the better man, who was once my husband" (3.428-29). 

At the beginning of book 3 Hector similarly chastises his brother on the battlefield, declaring that he wishes Paris had never been born or had died unmarried (3.40). In the bedroom Helen changes her tack with brusque abruptness, first telling Paris to go and challenge Menelaus for a second time, then remarking that he had better not, since Menelaus would probably kill him (3.432-36). Compare first Achilles, who goads Aeneas with a parallel insult in a famous flyting scene, when he urges him to retreat into the mass of soldiers lest he be harmed (20.197). And compare again Hector, who challenges his brother in similar terms ("Couldn't you stand up to Ares-loving Menelaus?" 3.51), and then predicts that if he did he would end up "mingling with the dust" (uiyevnc, 3.55). 

Both Helen and Hector contrast Paris unfavorably with Menelaus, and point up the superiority of the Greek by giving Paris' defeat sexual overtones (e.g., "mingling" [3.48, 55], "subduing" [3.429,436]). For Paris the lover, even encounters on the battlefield have a tincture of the bedroom. These two scornful acknowledgments of his unwarlike attitude serve to frame book 3, so that it begins and ends with Paris' sensual presence and the bellicose types who reproach him: Hector and Helen. Helen's use of this stance is not nearly so straightforward as her brother-in-law's, of course. She imports a verbal style that belongs on the battlefield, and that here in the intimate context of the bedroom takes on an additional layer of meaning—offering a sexual as well as a military challenge. 

Indeed, Paris (lover that he is) responds to this goading by treating it as a kind of bitter foreplay. And it appears that Helen's amorous husband has interpreted her taunts in some sense rightly, for Helen follows him to bed. By invoking her war-loving first husband in order to prick her bed-loving second, she employs the militaristic attitude of the one in order to denigrate qualities that she herself shares with the other, and her physical acquiescence reiterates her reluctant bond with him. That is, when she turns the emotional phrasing of the angry wish against her too-tender husband, she links herself to him and both of them to Aphrodite (since she and the goddess are the other recipients of such reproach). 

The hero's despair as well as his scorn thus take on a singular usage in Helen's mouth: in challenging those who share her affinities, she implicates herself in the abuse that she levels at them, while also preempting the criticism of others. In this way she stands poised against the gentle judgments of those who would forgive her, her character operating as a window on this defamatory tradition. Something similar occurs in book 6, although Helen's tone has changed somewhat since her interaction with Paris in book 3, and now she speaks with a post-coital combination of enticement and gentle abuse. 

When Hector comes to rouse Paris from his sensuous reverie in the bedroom, Helen tries to get her manly brother-in-law to sit down by scorning her soft and lovely husband. She engages in a delicate seduction of Hector, addressing him with "honey-sweet words" (6.343). Both Nestor and the Sirens also speak in a honeyed manner, so that the term delimits a range of speech types from the authoritatively but gently persuasive to the dangerously seductive, a mesmerizing quality that marks  Helen's speaking style in this passage. When Hector first enters and reproaches his brother, the mild Paris responds that Helen had just been urging him to return to battle with "soft words" (6.3 3 7)— unusual content for such beguiling tones. 

The enticing associations that attend malakos ("soft") thus contrast strangely with the stringency of her message, while those that attend meilichios ("honey-sweet") lend her words a potentially threatening quality. Thus Hector's refusal to sit with her becomes a refusal to play the victim role to her Siren, a role that his brother willingly takes on. While the Homeric poet may counter this ominous seductive quality at the surface level of the scene, it nonetheless resonates there as a disturbing subtext. From this perspective, it should not be surprising that Helen begins her conversation with Hector by invoking her threatening qualities, but in the self-debasing mode that she employed with his father. 

She calls herself an "evil-devising, shudder-inspiring dog" (6.344; 6.356; 3.180). The wish construction that follows is an elaborate expansion of her earlier use of it. Rather than simply desiring to die, she declares that she wishes that on her day of birth a gust of wind had carried her off to the mountains, or into a wave of the many-voiced sea (6.345-48). Helen purports to desire a type of end that Jean-Pierre Vernant relates to being seized by a god, invoking a connection between erotic love and death that he considers especially relevant to Helen's type. An echo of her wish in book 3 that death had "pleased" her (àôeîv, 3.173), Helen's lyrical desire for rapture here in Iliad 6 lends sensuous overtones to her speech. 

While her words explicitly depict regret, her flowery turns of phrase and sweetened tones suggest an attempt to soften Hector's attitude toward herself if not her husband: she sides with Hector in his chastising of his brother, yearns aloud for divine seizure, and notes ruefully her and Paris' future fame. Recall the similarity of Hector's and Helen's reproaches in book 3; here again she mimics his attitude, this time to his face with the goal of cementing her connection to him. Her maneuver is a delicate one. She must acknowledge her alliance with Paris in order to show her awareness of their shame; but she thereby also isolates herself from him, since he assumes no responsibility for his actions.

 As in book 3, Helen brackets herself with Paris as objects of abuse, highlighting their status here by using the ophelon phrase twice in expressions of heroic bitterness to apply to herself and her husband (6.345, 350). Homer thus has Helen transform the typical intentions of the phrase by using it for this anomalous speech act, layering self-abuse, scorn for an intimate, and a seductive allegiance of perspective, all of which ultimately aim at softening the heart of her interlocutor. While Hector does not in the end sit down with Helen, neither does he speak roughly to her, instead responding with a respect that resembles his father's treatment of her. By introducing a defamatory tradition that threatens to reveal her infamous side and yet ultimately serves an apotropaic function, Helen succeeds in deflecting blame: again, no one else abuses her as she abuses herself. 

At the end of the Iliad (24.760-75), Helen has the final mourning speech over Hector's dead body—a surprising status that supports Graver's argument that the Homeric poet is forcefully asserting an alternate tradition that elevates Helen and questions her blame. But if we look more closely at precisely how she mourns Hector, beyond her use of the mourner's topos of bewailing her fate as vulnerable survivor, we can see that her lament in this case focuses entirely on the threat of blame—the threat, that is, of the other story, the tale of bad-dog Helen. This is not to say that other mourners do not fear ill repute: Andromache certainly does, but mostly for her son Astyanax (e.g., 77. 22.494- 501).

Helen's lament, in some contrast, is only about repute; in detailing her fears for the future, she makes no mention of other horrors such as slavery and remarriage, which are often voiced by newly bereft female mourners in both epic and tragedy. After expressing her usual sentiment of regret (24.764), Helen notes that she had never heard a debasing or disrespectful word from her brother-in-law. She adds that if anyone else in his family ever reproached her, Hector would fend them off verbally with his gentle mind and words (24.768-72). She concludes by declaring that everyone else shudders in her presence (24.775). 

Helen's final word in the Iliad resonates with the dread that she might inspire, as the dog-faced daughter of Nemesis whose self-blame in Homer repeatedly suggests this other story. Hector, like the poet, may be gentle-minded toward Helen, but her description of his protection reveals how tenuous this praise tradition is; here as elsewhere in the poem her words declare one thing but point to another—this time her dangerous qualities, which cause a sensation in those around her like the chilly hand of Hades. At these moments Helen's figure suggests the deadly side of the female, to which Greek poets often attribute the downfall of men in some profound and sweeping manner. 

These figures are the embodiment of Fate (Moîpa/ Kf|p), the Medusa who freezes the bones, the Nemesis who is the end of the hubristic man, even the Aphrodite who (dog-faced) devours the husband's energy and wealth alike. 3 6 The word nemesis ("retribution") in fact surfaces repeatedly in Helen's speech and that of those who speak in her presence (e.g., 3.156,3.410,6.3 3 5 -36,6.3 51). That is, in the scenes where Helen appears, her presence seems to call forth the nemesis that is an essential aspect of her story. And her speeches, in their insistence on her infamous associations, serve as constant reminders of the just indignation and deserved retribution that acts of hubris bring down on the heads of those who commit them.”

- Nancy Worman, “This Voice Which Is Not One: HELEN’S VERBAL GUISES IN HOMERIC EPIC.” in Making Silence Speak: Women's Voices in Greek Literature and Society

[datastate]

Do you have any headcanons for the Hollow Knight themself? Or any headcanons for any character in general? :D

yes! while i have made a few posts before, here are a few more for thk:

- thk does experience bouts of apathy and dissociation. while the both are heavily influenced by its situation, the apathy would've occurred regardless of the constant pressure upon it to clear itself of emotion. in a way it was helpful for its purpose as a "pure vessel" where it made it easier to discard what it held, but upon interacting with hornet proved detrimental. while it did try to keep its thoughts from wandering (too often), there were times there was just. a really nauseating ache in their chest - where the physical signs of guilt were there even if it still held the emotional disconnect.

-> similar note, hornet (and her mother) experience low-empathy. hornet, in the times she was allowed to spend (monitored) time with thk, often became frustrated with it for not engaging with her. only after taking in mind some of the knights' + her mother's advice to actually begin to understand how to reach out to it by relating her own experience in feeling like she was somehow broken for not feeling much for other people (or, as she became more mature, struggling to feel any "positive emotions" (in her mind) at all these days because. well! depression is sure to come if you're told of your mother's incoming death that you feel you indirectly caused.) while thk obviously couldn't respond to this note, or anything afterward, the two did somewhat come to a silent understanding - even if hornet's still misunderstood it due to its act.

- thk doesn't necessarily hate lurien, but it isn't ever... fond? of him. you'd expect that if it were to feel resentment for any who stood by with little objection, it'd be the five knights (especially ogrim) who practically raised it and knew it wasn't simply a machine, and while there is some conflict there, it's especially prevalent with lurien because he's so focused on hallownest that he won't even question too far aside from reassurances that pk has already given regarding the vessel's origins.

-> it's really strange, because it does hold hallownest in high regard as well, that's half the reason it allowed itself to be used like this for so long (aside from the obvious threat of death), but seeing lurien who has had to give nothing but his life, who is allowed to live as a person until then (albeit under the stress of the city) and is actually somewhat respected by the king just invokes some... bitterness. herrah is in a situation where it was difficult enough to achieve an heir that she hoped the pale beings would be more reluctant about tearing down, monomon is carefully preparing something behind the scenes, the five knights weren't always so vigilant or heartless about what they did, but lurien was very. cut and dry after pk's words - and thk never gets context outside of this to hear whether or not he speaks doubts among the other dreamers, or has thoughts but doesn't dare speak them at all. while he does falter in monitoring it as harshly as it's sure pk would like him to, and is generally as polite as hegemol or isma, it's due to his proximity to the king and the fact he was entrusted to watching over the capital that it's so wary of him. even if pk and wl were to fall, lurien seems to be the one most likely to step up in pk's place and carry through his wishes. or, at least that's how it sees the situation. (something something, especially tense around him in an assumed post-etv ending)

- thk is mostly familiar with dryya and isma, who were its primary trainers! the moves shared with the hive knight came from isma, while most other moves, but esp the turn/overhead slash were taught by dryya.

-> occasionally, hornet would be trained alongside thk.

- thk was concealed from everyone but the pale beings, five knights, and monomon for most of its process to maturity as they were to monitor / train it and keep its health. it was presented to the other two dreamers as a construct the king created, and, once it reached its peak form, was introduced as the hollow knight - an advanced vessel constructed by the pale king which would put an end to the infection.

-> (monomon's addition was from rowan nightlight-dot-exe's idea! go support them; their hk thoughts are peak n really inspiring <3)

- this is a lot lighter than the others, but honestly we need one: i think thk, after etv or any ending where it is allowed to live, would enjoy painting, especially for darker scenes. after the stifling colors of the white palace for so long, or the bright orange of the infection... it finds comfort in this (so long as it's not primarily grey, as that would reform associations with the abyss, a place it was sure it'd be thrown to upon proof of its failure) and, although this isn't its own work, enjoys seeing hornet's silk creations. despite most being for weaponry now, i'd like to think she hasn't completely forgotten the weaving her people once did. it'd love to help her in what ways it can in this regard. art as a whole, especially in the beginning process where you must come to terms with being fallible and making permanent mistakes upon the canvas (or tablet, or parchment, or any other physical piece), is important to thk becoming more comfortable with itself

-> there are phases where the perfectionism really hits, but. ultimately, regardless of what it did, it would be hit with this realization that there's no reason to keep up the act or stay with the belief it's pure. hallownest's death is proof enough of that. art is a steady medium for it though, and that's... all it can ask for as it slowly comes to terms with all that's happened, if it lives past its abusers' influences.

- thk heavily prefers no pronouns or it/its, but is fine with they/them as well!!! :D

-> actually speaking a bit more on personal preferences, i do think it'd be nice for thk to take up the name 'spirit' for. various reasons: the proof it's not hollow, it has a vigorous spirit, a soul - or, alternatively, that it is but a breath of one whose life was cut early (which it was, for its mantle). it also serves as a mirror for ghost and the other siblings who were sentenced to death while so young. thk, too, was killed in its own way, urged by both pk and radiance's hand. of course afterward, thk feels haunted by something. perhaps spirit takes on heavier connotations here, thinking itself more of a shadow having abandoned its siblings, or one who is incomplete but still lingers enough, sentenced to hopelessly searching for something fulfilling after they were severed from it for so long... either way, i do enjoy the directions in which this name can go.

[bettsfic]

1/ hi betts. i have kind of a specific resume question that i'm struggling with and was hoping if you have any extra time i could hear your thoughts on? right after i graduated undergrad, a lot of Things happened and then i ended up having a good old bona fide Mental Breakdown™ and spent the next two years just living at my mother's house just straight up doing nothing. like, crawling out of bed at 7 pm to get water from the kitchen and then going back to bed for 2 years straight type nothing

2/ now, a little over 2 years later, i'm finally approaching the place mentally realizing i can start partially digging myself out of this via employment and my own income, and am starting the whole job application process. my undergrad degree was a combo of history + media studies, i had gotten in to do my history phd at yale, Things Happened before i could get there, all combined with the realization that a phd is not something i can commit to right now given the dismal career opportunities

3/ thereafter, so now i'm floundering and ready to apply to anything across the board, just ANY type of position to hire me so i can at least get on my feet after a couple of years and figure out what the fuck to do. except now, my problem and query, is that i have an over 2 year gap in my resume, with absolutely nothing to show for it, other than just straight up going batshit insane. i have no idea how to go about explaining that gap in future interviews, other than lying, and i don't even

4/ really know how to go about doing that either. i would really really appreciate any of your input on the situation, or any general advice? thank you either way. btw, your writing and multi-chaptered fics were one of the only consistent and good things about those two years and gave me something to look forward to and think about, and i can't even put into words how much that Helped.

first of all, thank you, and i’m glad my fics could help a little. second, congratulations for beginning to get out of what seems to be a very dark place. i’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time these past couple years, and i hope things continue to get better for you.

keep in mind, i’ve never been on a hiring committee before, so i’ve never seen this situation from the other side. i’ve only applied to a lot of jobs, and i had the opposite experience -- how to explain juggling so many jobs at once, and why i felt i had to do that? it felt the same though in some ways, two years of my life where i couldn’t grow as a person or feel any emotion, because i was working every minute of every day.

so, you can only really do 3 things: tell the truth, lie, or don’t mention it.

if you tell the truth, you put yourself in a difficult position. even though it’s horribly ableist, hiring managers may hold a 2-year gap in your resume against you. i imagine they’re looking for any reason to deny your application. that said, you could also indicate that you took a long-term health leave and not say anything more. they’re not allowed to inquire further, and you never have to give more information than you’re willing to. i think sometimes there’s this assumption you have to explain the why of things in the working world, but you really don’t. you may have a manager that demands to know things, but if you work for a corporation, even if a manager demands information, you very likely will never have to give it. at work, you are a veneer of yourself. you do not have to be vulnerable or open. you only have to do a job. in the hiring process, all you have to do is prove that you can do a job. so, focus on that.

i don’t like lying, but it might not be a terrible idea to indicate in a cover letter that you’ve spent two years as, say, the primary caretaker for a sick/dying relative. it’s noble, sympathetic, sadly very common, and nobody would interrogate it because it’s such a sensitive topic. the trick is how you would sell it in an interview, i think -- you wouldn’t bring it up on your own, and if asked about it, you would have to put on a professional facade over grief, in other words a non-reaction, and politely side-step the question to indicate it’s too painful to talk about, and you understand why they have to ask but you’d really rather not get into it. while i don’t think anyone would catch onto the lie, i personally would be nervous about the karma that would invoke. (to this day i still feel guilty lying to my professors about skipping class and late work by telling them i had to take my dad to chemo appointments. my dad was actually dying but i only ever took him to one appointment. on one hand, i forgive myself because i was clearly suffering in ways i didn’t yet understand. on the other hand, i feel bad for using my dad’s cancer to my benefit [but less bad knowing my dad, a serial work-skipper himself, probably wouldn’t have cared]). also, you’d have to keep up that lie for the duration of your employment, especially if the fake relative passed away, and that’s your reason for seeking employment. the good news is, in my experience, when my dad actually did die on my first day of work, nobody brought it up, because it was a very uncomfortable situation.

lastly, you could just not mention it. especially if you’re applying for entry-level work, it’s very possible your interviewers or hiring managers just aren’t going to care. depending on the type of job, they may just be looking for a body and it doesn’t matter where you’ve come from or what you plan to do. in the grand scheme of things, two years isn’t a long time. it’s possible, if the hiring manager is older, “2018″ and “2020″ are not far enough apart to put up any red flags. especially having just graduated, there are lots of easy assumptions that can go there. looking for jobs, pandemic, applying to grad school, etc. but, you know, that’s a risk. you might default to this option and see what happens. if you’re not getting any calls for interviews, then try a different option. 

personally, my belief when it comes to work is always, “it’s nobody’s fucking business.” i’m one of those people who only ever shows a very specific, narrow piece of myself to others that i think is most relevant to them, even in relationships.

(an aside -- one time i was complaining to my bff about money troubles, and keep in mind, we talk every day, and he was like, “well you could always get a job?” and that was when i realized, my best friend didn’t know i had a job. because i never told him i had a job. so he thought i just didn’t have a job. it’s definitely a consistent pattern, that i’ll say something about myself, and someone who thinks they’re close to me will go, “you WHAT” and i’ll shrug and be like, “i don’t know it just never seemed relevant.”)

which is all to say, in workplaces i’m even more of a closed book. whether or not that’s a good thing is debatable, considering how i’ve hated pretty much every job i’ve ever had (besides teaching). but the point is, professionalism is a performance, and the cover letter/resume is just a script. it’s a picture of you, not you, and you can choose how to portray yourself. 

sorry this is such a long answer for what amounts to “i’m not sure.” any followers who have experience on the other side of the hiring process, do you have any advice for anon?

[neopronouns]

hi!! im a bit new with all of this, so i'd just like to ask, what makes a gender a gender? like the mimikyu gender--how do you have a gender relating to a mimikyu(not trying to sound belittling, i just don't understand it yet)? is it just something you feel like you can relate to, or do you have to feel like it's a part of who you are or something? thanks for reading, i hope to learn more about this so i can support you all!

hi!! i hope i’m able to help you learn something 💖

(i’ll keep using mimikyuic for my examples, since i feel like it can cover a lot of bases in this discussion)

so gender is a complex thing that’s experienced in as many ways as there are people, and because of that, it can be difficult to explain why you are the gender you are - even if you use simpler/more common labels!! some of my labels, i can explain to you exactly why i am them, while others, it’s difficult to convey that feeling beyond ‘it just feels right’ or something similarly vague.

along with that, it can be hard for someone who doesn’t use a term to understand why one uses it or why it even exists. this isn’t a bad thing - there are plenty of things we don’t understand, like foreign languages and advanced mathematical concepts, that we still respect - and honestly, i think it’s much easier to simply recognize that people relate to and use these terms rather than to try and understand all of them before respecting them. although, if you are curious, it’s always a good thing to ask questions and see what you might be able to learn!

here are some reasons why someone might identify with or coin a certain label:

1) as you said, relating to something! a mimikyuic person might heavily relate to mimikyu in a way that feels gendered, relate to how a mimikyu could experience gender, relate to the concept of mimikyu as a gender description, or something along those lines

2) also like you said, feeling like something is a part of you/your gender! a mimikyuic person might feel that being or relating to a mimikyu is an intrinsic part of their being in a way that affects their gender

3) in the case of xenogenders, metaphors can be a big part of it! someone might identify as mimikyuic because they feel like their gender metaphorically ‘wears a disguise’ to hide a less welcoming gender within itself, that their gender is a ‘knockoff’ of another gender, that their gender is lonely or emulates feelings of loneliness, or something else relating to mimikyu!

4) it could be aesthetic reasons! maybe the appearance of a mimikyu resonates with a mimikyuic person in a way that relates to their gender

5) or kin (or related communities) reasons! a mimikyukin person, especially someone who considers mimikyu one of their primary kins, might experience being a mimikyu so strongly that they feel that their gender is the gender of a mimikyu! (or that their mimikyu kintype affects their perception or experience of gender)

6) maybe it helps them describe their gender to invoke certain images/emotions/etc! for example, maybe a mimikyuic person finds it easiest to convey their gendered feelings by bringing to mind the thought of loneliness, disguises, copying/knockoffs, etc. this is similar to #3 and #4, but less specific, as it can encompass both metaphors and aesthetics as well as other sensory experiences, emotions, etc.

7) neurodivergency could affect their identity and the labels they use! perhaps a mimikyuic person has a special interest in mimikyu and feels like that affects their gender, their synesthetic perception of mimikyu fits their gender, etc.

8) it could be a way of fully rejecting the typical human notions of gender! since mimikyu is both fictional and nonhuman, a mimikyuic person could be using that label to show that they are nothing close to human gender, that they experience gender in the way a pokemon (or creature in general) would, etc.

many of these reasons can overlap, and people may have more than one reason to use a label, including ones i haven’t listed here!

[thehierophage]

Bruno and the Occult Attack of Politicians

Since Lord Dampnut's ascension to the presidency there has been no shortage of witches, sorcerers, and enchanters working to try to bind, curse, or hex him. As a somewhat amusing side effect of this cultural phenomenon we've been able to see David Griffin of the Golden Dawn(R) wax like a tin-foil hat wearing kook decrying this evil and malignant magical warfare against our nation's Holy King. The purpose of this essay is to lay out why these efforts aren't really working. I'm putting this out there not to discourage your magical operations, but to make sure they are more effective.

The primary work I'll be referring to in this discussion is “On Magic” (De Magia) by the great Renaissance thinker and magician, Giordano Bruno. In this work he details the conditions required for establishing the necessary magical bonds whereby a magician would be able to manipulate and control a spirit/spirit-embodied person.

The first two bonds are considered to be comprised of a type of “triple power” which demands the utmost attention before any of the other bonds can be considered. That is, the first two bonds are each composed of three elements a piece which make up their effectiveness as a bond and which must be attended to if any magical operation is to be successful (outside of luck or grace). Here are the first two:

1. The first bond which ties spirits together is general in character and is represented metaphorically by the three-headed Cerberus of Trivia, the doorkeeper of hell. This is the triple power which is needed by one who binds, i.e., by the magician: namely, physics, mathematics and metaphysics. The first is the base; the second is the scale; the third is the summit of the scale. The first explains active and passive principles in general; the second explains times, places and numbers; the third explains universal principles and causes. This is a triple cord which is difficult to break.

2. The second bond is also triple and is needed in the agent, in the action and in the thing on which the agent acts. It consists of faith or credibility, of invocations, of love and of strong emotions in the application of the active to the passive. The role of the soul is to produce changes in the body of the composite, and the role of the body is to change the soul materially. If these bondings do not happen, or especially if they are not present, then no amount of attention or motion or agitation will produce any results. For a magician is most fortunate if many believe in him, and if he commands great persuasion.

So in the first instance, the magician is expected to have an understanding of the nature of the thing being worked upon (physics), an understanding of the symbols being used to create that change (mathematics), and an understanding of the philosophical theories which by necessity must contain the first two (metaphysics), and these three are considered to be the first and most important of magical bonds.

I would venture to say that sorcerers working against the current administration by and large are probably a pretty savvy bunch, or at least sophisticated enough to understand at least one thread of this triple cord (i.e., the “mathematic”). There's also a good number of magicians out there that have a decent understanding of the metaphysics of their given magical systems as well as the sets of correspondences which they use in any given magical operation. Where many may be lacking is in understanding the subject which they wish to change/affect, and this proves to be the lynchpin to the observable failures of the magical operations up to this point. Because unless all three of these cords are being put into use this most critical and primary of bonds will not take.

The second link in establishing the magical link extends its scope to not just the magician, but the magician, the target, and the operation being performed. Bruno says that the knowledge and understanding which is the core of the first bond is not sufficient in and of itself, but requires a real intense passion in the execution of the operation. In fact it requires a type of furore (a la Ficino) or Platonic mania in the magician to produce the necessary non-ordinary consciousness which will allow the magician to summon forth the necessary force for or against the target. What he doesn't mention explicitly until later is that the potency of the invocation must be something that would also move the target to feel that they are a passive recipient of the force being invoked. Simply put, it doesn't matter how passionate your petition is or how adroitly you handle your magical tools – if Lord Dampnut isn't the type of guy who is impressed by or fears such actions, then your ministrations will not produce a strong magical bond.

Bruno says of this later on in the same work chapter on the bondings of spirits:

“For actions actually to occur in the world, three conditions are required: (1) an active power in the agent; (2) a passive power or disposition in a subject or patient, which is an aptitude in it not to resist or to render the action impossible (which reduces to one phrase, namely, the potency of matter); and (3) an appropriate application, which is subject to the circumstances of time, place and other conditions.”

So not only must you 1) know your magical system really well (#3), be super passionate and precise in your working of that system (#1), but the subject/target of your work must not be resistant to being affected by the system or its operator (#2). Obviously it's in this last point that the process unravels.  

Bruno continues: 

“In the absence of these three conditions, all actions are, simply speaking, always blocked. For even if a flute player is perfect, he is blocked by a broken flute, and the application of the former to the latter is useless. Thus, a lack of power in the matter makes an agent impotent and an application unfitting. This is what was meant when we said that an absence of these three conditions, strictly speaking, always blocks an action.

“Closer examination may show that the defect is due to only two, or even only one, of these conditions. But a defect in any one of them should be understood as meaning a defect in all three, as when the flute player and his performance are perfect but the flute is defective, or when the player and the flute are perfect but the performance is interrupted. If the whole meaning of efficient action is taken to consist in the application, then the first condition merges with the third, for the agent is nothing other than the applicator, and to do something is nothing other than to apply something.”

To complicate matters Bruno throws out this interesting tidbit in his list of the types of magical bonds:

“7. The souls of men who are tyrants and rulers, and of those who have acquired some degree of fame and thus have become spirits.”

Now this could refer to the souls of these figures after they've died when they move from being a personality to becoming a principle – a kind of euhemerism where the minutia of the person is stripped away and the image becomes the receptacle and embodiment of  specific values as in the case of patron saints.

Another, more sophisticated reading of this note may entail that the powerful and famous generate their own spirits of themselves which consist of their public image and the conceptions of themselves created and broadcast by the media. If this latter explanation is valid, then any magical work put against a media figure of some notoriety would affect possibly only the fame-generated spectre of the person and not the actual target. Only through continuous chipping away at the public persona would the source of that spirit begin to be affected.

In the case of the current example - their nature as a thin-skinned slave to their own media representation seemingly should assist media-savvy sorcerers in creating hexes which would damage the spirit proxy. This damage would then impact the host generating the spirit.

So what would a successful magical operation against this monster look like? The key here I think would be a two-fold coordination between those assaulting his public image (i.e., the spirit generated by it) and individuals working on the target directly. Both parties would have to be extremely well-trained, polished operators in order to dismantle such a juggernaut.

The first would tactically release imagery and stories meant to lure in those who have fallen under the spell of his spirit while also dismantling the spirit's ability to rally those same people to it by showing the spirit and its host as undesirable, insane, impotent, and working against their ability to enjoy themselves. This has become increasingly difficult to do as audiences have become hypersensitive to absolutely anything that has a whiff of being oppositional to their Fearless Leader. When faced with reasonable questions concerning the spirit's intentions its followers often respond simply by  falling into a paroxysm of anger leveling accusations of unpatriotic behavior until the accuser has been shouted down. As a result these victims rally around a continuously fine-tuned stream of media from sources that provide them material which reinforces their position while also coordinating this spirit's magical force thus amplifying the problem. Frighteningly, one of the only ways to dismantle the power of this spirit's sway over its servants is to show it as being the thing that they hate and positing an even more insane alternative.

The second group of magicians would have to contend with finding and fixing those weak bonds discussed above. But who would turn a man like that into a passive recipient of the magical influence invoked by the magician? The answer, most likely, would be women. His love life has been very public and it would take no talent at all to figure out what his “type” is. A well-trained sorceress could then make him receptive to her charms (perhaps by feeding him her menstrual blood or powdered hair), receive personal effects from him by which to bind him, and be able to use these in conjunction with a burgeoning relationship with the target. Since the subject's natal chart is available and well-known this sorceress would be able to calculate the name of his Wicked Spirit, create specialized invocations triggering his already poorly placed malefics, and/or calculate the Lot of Death or Misfortune to divine when certain actions would need to be executed.

( Donhole by Blacky)

The above scenarios are a description of the type of work that would most likely have to be done to magically bring down a man with that kind of power. Anything less would probably fail or only be successful as a stroke of luck or through grace. I still recommend that magicians continue to do the work they're currently doing though. Not because I feel it will succeed in removing this monster from office, but because it accomplishes a continual regicide within the mind of the operator. There is one throne within the palace of the mind and it should either be filled by you or left conspicuously empty. Sic Semper Tyrannis.

[andreycoded]

I’m gonna write a messy, short essay here about the spn finale. I know we’re all enjoying analysing and ripping it apart because, oh god, if you just look at all the pieces, all of us could’ve written so much better, and they all deserved so much better, and it hurts. but all in all i haven’t had that hard of a time forgetting about the finale, and the reason is that the minute that episode started I went. fuck. they really made a nostalgia episode for the last one.

i’ve got a really complicated relationship with nostalgia. i get high on nostalgia, like everyone else, that’s why all of us distanced spn fans went off the rails on november 5th. generally, i keep getting stuck on things that were good in the past and i love reliving those things by remembering. but not thinking about personal experience, i hate nostalgia. hate itttt. it ties so much into bad things these days and there’s two aspects in which it is relevant to the finale: firstly, how nostalgia is monetized, second, how white (cis? straight? i don’t know who specifically had a hand in writing the finale and i’m not gonna look it up for this, feel free to argue) males especially think of nostalgia. for example, disney owns our brains in the most crucial developmental phase, so the way they’re capitalizing on that childhood nostalgia is a good example of the bigger picture going on with it. right now, it’s really easy for all companies that have to do with entertainment to go the route of just evoking those sweet sweet memories. nostalgia has to do with emotion, emotion is a really easy way to persuade people to buy things, because invoking those familiar feelings is a way to instantly make you care. so if you think about ending your series (or beginning a sequel, looking at you the force awakens, actually probably the whole trilogy, whatever) what do you think is the surefire way to get that emotional punch out of people? now, we know that that surefire way is to do the work required, do a little original thinking and pick up the pieces of the narrative that still need completing. but if you were someone not privy to this understanding, if you were feeling lazy or if you possibly were someone thinking about things from a commercial point of view, you would most likely think oh! all the classic supernatural things, that’s what’ll make the people happy. and that probably did make a section of the fans happy! some people are happy with the endless churning out of remakes, as long as the industry is willing to do it (looking at you winx remake). i find it hard to blame them, especially when the future is sometimes looking really grim. but it’s also making me feel desperate, because we need to get out of the past to get original things, we need new stories, and the industry isn’t funding them because original ideas monetarily are a risk, a gamble. (now i’m rambling) so all of the things about the finale rang to me like remember this thing? remember this thing? remember this thing? the sympathies and narrative positions of the writers would factor into this and figuring out what they were thinking with all of this, like whether the last hunt or dean filling out a job form was supposed to feel (soul-crushingly) sad so that the death felt sad - idk, as i said i haven’t really looked into it and i don’t know the writers that well. now obviously, it’s hurting so much to think that in the end dean was that daddy’s blunt instrument, what with going on a hunt taken from john’s diary. but if you didn’t have a brain and were writing that, wouldn’t you maybe think that this is where it all started, it’s so emotional to remind everybody of that. bring back the hunt, the diary, the brother dynamic, that one vampire lady nobody remembers but it’s still a callback? i can’t remember what else there was but the ”plot” in the start of that ep was trying so hard to be season 1. and the pie. that’s nostalgic, that’s emotional. right? riiight. all of these cheap emotional cues left no room for actually dealing with anything that had been going on. (i don’t need to say that but i said it anyway: 101 of writing, there’s action and then there’s reaction, rinse and repeat.) not paying attention to the possible versions of the finale that there may have been before covid, even the decision to start everything as it started makes sense from this point of view, thinking about all the things from the earlier seasons that you could reference. oh my god, remember how sam wanted this in the beginning, always wanted to get out? and how dean said this is how he would go? how fitting! god this is way too long. ok so idk, i faintly remember that some of the writers have stated that they wrote the story for themselves. it might be a different writer than those who wrote the finale (i don’t know, sue me) but there’s definitely a pattern of white male writers lapsing into this nostalgia narrative. and supernatural was meant to be relatable to young white men, right? this time it’s not that kind of ”remember when everything was better” narrative that it usually is in politics, but definitely related to the question of ownership and entitlement. i think that personally a white man writing this (or star wars, or other things) might think of it like this is what was important to me. this is how it started, so many years ago and it’s so meaningful to me and reminds me of those years and feelings. this is my story and i want to end it on that emotional nostalgia that i feel. so to wrap this up somehow, i find it really hard to take the finale seriously when i think of the bigger picture. this is not to say that i don’t acutely feel everything about how dirty the characters were done, and i cherish and relate to every single post analysing that episode. I love to talk about it and debate it, but when it comes to being a finale denialist, it’s easy. after the primary reactions of laughing and then feeling angry when i thought about it, it just makes me feel flat. that was somebody elses personal version of a finale. that was a symptomatic, sad consequence of the larger theme going on, of men claming ownership to stories and/by taking into account only their own subjective experiences of it. and the fact that largely the entertainment industry is counting on everyone else doing the same right now. it was just a sad shortcoming that is entirely removed from the overarching story and plot (both pretty damn original and emotional) some of them were committed to doing. btw there’s a good article about how “originality is always traded for nostalgia” by writer khadejah jones. even though i’m high on that s1 rewatch nostalgia right now, let’s also remember to look for new things. i know a lot of you are going to be the ones creating those things and i’m looking forward to them, so let’s try to nudge the industry that way while we wait.