#i feel like the laser is what people pretend tattoos feel like

[lethalwizard]

i have no idea how much tattoos are supposed to hurt i have 6 the last two the artists told me i “sat like a champion” i could have taken a nap probably.

like sure it HURTS but how much is a tiny needle going 2mm under your skin for less than a second going to hurt really

[retaurd]

im a partial detransitioner, hormones but no surgeries. my voice is definitely deep, and i shave my chin every few days to get rid of the scruff. it certainly is not ideal, but the worst part is when i am assumed to be a transgender woman/ TIM. so much effort has gone into actually loving myself and accepting my body, and regretting altering it as much as i have (tattoos and scars and also testosterone) only to then be perceived as someone who hates himself and is playing pretend. despite this fairly regular confusion, i dont go out of my way to look overly feminine. i dont wear makeup. i have no interest in laser hair removal. im not going to let the pendulum swing the other way, into a different form of cosmetic self-hatred. hell, i dont even shave anything other than my chin. i dont try to talk in a voice that isnt "natural". i am who i am and maybe it sucks but it doesnt suck more than having ruined my lungs by smoking or my knees from ballet, yknow? sorry for the rant it just kind of sits weird to see posts that feel like they are suggesting i should be miserable and hate myself. i love myself, or at least i am neutral about me. i absolutely am glad you avoided unwanted transition at a young age, like i was unable to, but it wouldnt have been the end of the world. god bless, friend

No I know some people are cool w their partial or full transitions despite detransitioning. But some really aren't and that's what I'm referring to, those that don't feel the acceptance you do. I'm proud of you, truly, my worry is for those who dont. And I know in my heart I wouldn't have probably coped as well as you have. Or, maybe, because of your words I see it a bit differently. Maybe it would've ended up okay. I just know how I was at that age and I'm unsure if I would've been alright and adapted

I meant 0 offense to you or others who have gone through things as you have, who feel as you do. I'm proud of you like I said and happy for you as well very truly. God bless you too and may you have continued happiness.

[commaclear]

"Yeah, no can do, kid." the lady told him frankly.

Wilbur crossed his arms, tilting his head up to look down on her. Not that he needed to, of course. 

"And why not?" he asked, frowning. 

"I understand what you're going for, but I just don't really want to tattoo something you're going to regret."

Regret? This woman had no idea of who he was. And she didn't need to. She didn't need to assume things about him.

"I'm not going to regret it. I know what I want, and I'm a paying customer, am I not?"

"That's cute. How old are you, kid?"

"Old enough."

The tattoo artist raised both of her hands sarcastically, mouthing a 'haha'. 

"Very funny, did you bring in some sort of little permission slip saying that your mommy and daddy are allowing you to get a fucking tramp stamp?"

Wilbur scowled, hugging himself tigher. "I'm an adult." He muttered. 

"Yeah, yeah. You look like you turned 18 yesterday, at most."

The brunette shrugged, seeing as it was pretty much true. Though it had been a few months, not a day. "Can I just get my tattoo? Please?"

"I don't know how comfortable I am with giving you a tramp stamp."

"Because I might regret it? I know what I want."

"You think you know what you want. You're a dumb kid. It doesn't matter how book smart you are, or how street smart. Ultimately, you don't know what you're going to be feeling by the time you're my age. Tramp stamps are one of the most regretted tattoos, and the lower back is notorious for things best left in the past."

"Well, if I don't get the tattoo now, I guess I'll never know. It's not that much different from getting one when you're older. You still might regret it. Just because you're older doesn't mean you know what you want either."

"If you want to fight me on this so badly, just go to another tattoo artist."

Wilbur blinked prettily at her, "Oh, but I just love how you draw flowers. I don't think another tattoo artist would be able to do them just the way I want. I mean, you're literally the best tattoo artist for miles. Please just say yes." 

Though his voice dripped with dramatic praise, he meant every word. Her style was exactly right for what he wanted, and she seemed like she'd understand what he's trying to say with his choice. She also seemed like she'd be willing to figure out the best placement, both for the design and exactly how it'll look when it's on.

His eyes drifted to her wedding ring.

She hadn't seemed moved by his little praises, and he would hate to have to take more dramatic action. 

"Well, Thank you... for that. I'm still not sure I want to do it. I have a lot of passion for my art, and I would hate for it to get lasered off in a few decades. Or to be covered until then."

"It won't be covered, don't worry about that."

Before she could ask about whatever that meant, he gently grabbed her hand, pretending to just notice her ring.

"Oh- are you married?" he asked innocently.

She smiled for the first time in this interaction, Wilbur seeming to entirely disappear while she looked at her ring. Wilbur never understood how people just... got lost in things that represented their partners. It was just a ring. 

"Yeah," she finally responds, face soft. "We've been married for a few years."

"How sweet. How many?" Wilbur asked, feigning interest.

"Oh, just five. Our anniversary is soon, so very nearly six."

"Can you tell me about them?" 

"Well... I suppose. She's the sweetest woman alive. She actually runs the business next door, that's why you might see people coming in through that door."

Wilbur follows her line of sight to an unassuming door, one that presumably leads to the spa next door. 

"She loves painting nails. She lets her employees handle most of the manicures and pedicures, but she always insists on staying in the front to help with painting nails. Not even acrylics, just... regular nail polish. She's always enjoyed artsy things."

"Like you?" Wilbur laughs. 

She laughs as well, "Yeah, I suppose. I did her first tattoo, and she wanted to keep talking afterwards. She just had some kind of charm to her."

"Oh, wow..." Wilburs genuine smile faded slightly, though the woman was too busy thinking about her wife to notice. 

"Well, I guess I better leave. Don't want to waste anymore of your time, hm?"

The woman nodded. "Yeah, no. I'm still not giving you a tramp stamp. Sorry, kid. Maybe in ten years."

Wilbur laughed. 

He'd see about that. 

--

"God, you were fucking right! You do deserve a fucking tramp stamp, you fucking whore!" The tattoo artist wasn't happy with Wilbur's little... escapade. 

"I just wanted to know what it was like. Your wife loves you so strongly."

He can still hear the nail techs sobbing after he said that.

"Well, are you doing my tattoo now then?" He said smoothly, grinning sleazily at her. 

The pen in her hand nearly broke, but she took a deep breath in and out. Her expression changed to something pitying. Wilbur hated it.

"Fucking whatever."

He was pretty sure she double-charged him, and he wasn't sure if tattoos were supposed to hurt that much, but the tattoo was exactly what he wanted. 

Still, even as he walked out, he couldn't help but notice that she still had her pitying gaze. 

"I still think you'll regret it." He heard her mumble. 

Her ring had been gone, and he thought best not to ask about it. He knew what happened. 

He turned to look back at her, maybe even to say something teasing about her ex(?) wife. But the door was already shut tightly when he looked back. 

--

"So what made you get one?" he heard Quackity ask from behind him, fingers just barely tracing over the tattoo. 

"My boss, mostly."

"Oh, Wilbur... that's awful."

The way Quackity got sad at some of the things Wilbur said used to not make sense, but he's grown used to it over time. Sometimes, the things he got sad over still didn't make sense, but luckily this wasn't one of those things.

"It's whatever. Plus, I made sure I got one I wanted. It makes me feel more powerful than like a cheap whore usually. My only limit was that it had to look nice."

"Why does it make you feel powerful? What does it mean to you?"

Wilbur smiled at Quackitys genuine tone, he always had a way of coaxing things out of Wilbur. Wilbur made him step out of his comfort zone, and Quackity had him speak out of his. He never told anyone how much research went into his tramp stamp. People always thought it was some vaguely flowery, delicate, sexy thing. But it was really so much more. 

"I know it looks like it's just flowers, but look closely." If anyone could get anywhere close to the meaning just by looking at it, it was Quackity, at least in Wilbur's mind. 

"Is that barbed wire?? Dude, that's so fucking 90s."

Wilbur laughed, "Shut up! Think about the meaning. It means something."

"It's... sharp? And strong?" Quackity thought for another moment, "It's resilient?"

"Ding ding ding. I mean, all of those things really. Do you know what kind of flowers those are?"

"Uhhh... angelonia?" Quackity said, uncertain.

Wilbur shook his head, trying his best to look back at him without disturbing his view of his tramp stamp. 

"They're petunias. I don't even know what flower that is."

Quackity laughed, "Yeah, I don't know what petunias look like."

"Well get a good look at these, and then you'll know."

Quackity gently thwacked him in the arm, but resumed his tracing over the tramp stamp, with a little more weight than last time.

"What do they mean?" he heard the shorter ask. 

"Anger and resentment."

"Oh wow... I really wouldn't have expected that from such a pretty flower."

Quackity had no idea about the irony of his statement, and for now, just for now, Wilbur would like to keep it dramatic irony. 

"Most don't."

"Wait, then what about this? This isn't the same kind of plant, right?"

Wilbur flipped over to look Quackity in the eyes, smiling softly. "It's hemlock. It's poisonous. And beautiful, it is very beautiful."

For once in this interaction, Quackity met his gaze. "Is it meant to symbolize you?"

Wilbur propped his head up with his arm. "What do you think?"

Quackity blushed, looking away. "Maybe." Quackity looked back at him, "Would you ever want to get it removed?"

Wilbur hummed thoughtfully. "I don't know. It's from a pretty rough patch in my life, but I don't think I could just part with it. Maybe one day. I think it'll fade a lot on it's own by then, though." 

Quackity smiles at his answer, gently carding his fingers through Wilbur's hair. 

He used to not understand why he was so soft with Wilbur. He thought that he was looking down on him, somehow. Or maybe that Quackity thought he was weak or delicate for what he went through. 

He knows now, though, that it was just because he loved him.

-D (I got made fun of for my anon name by an irl because it's 'dumb' D: ITS JUST A LETTER?? So I'm taking name suggestions guys)

I know from when you sent this that you got it from my discord, and it's just been sitting in my inbox looking tasty for AGES until I could post chapter 16, so it wouldn't be a massive spoiler for everyone who didn't see that discussion

So I hope you know it has been TORTURE waiting to share this delicious piece of lowkey fucked up writing /lh

And have you considered that D could also stand for Dinosaur (the most common special interest for undiagnosed autistic children), Dynamite (like tntduo), Deoxyribonucleic (as in dna, the stuff life is made of), Delicious (like your writing), or Dun Dun DUNNN (the sound of drama)

[awesomefringey]

Do you think sometimes people take the ‘jealous!harry’ ‘jealouslouis!’ A bit too literally? Like I’m sure in the grand scheme of things a 17 year old boy knows Liam play fighting with a Louis or joking around/putting his arm around him isn’t the end of the world, especially when it was still early enough Harry and Louis could still publicly interact. He’s not actually plotting to shoot Liam with his laser beam eyes lol. I think I just mean more like people will see Harry glance at Louis talking to Liam and look away and it’s like ‘omggg he’s so jealous’ incorporated into a slow mo ‘evidence’ video so sometimes it makes us come across like 13 year old naive fangirls. Maybe I’m just being a cyanic I know some people do just like to play it up for fun but I do wonder if some people really think anything like that =jealousy at it’s finest

But then again this is 2 lovestruck teens in love and everything was such a big deal and end of the world back then so they probably were and just are jealous little bfs

I personally think Harry and Louis are indeed quite jealous or can at least show annoyance when the other is affectionate with someone else in public (when it can’t be them) or they might even do it on purpose. Let me give you examples.

Harry’s face watching Zouis vibing practically says “it’s not that funny Zayn”. He looks like he’s moping. Maybe not jealous but feeling left out.

Or here, you can see Louis catch Harry rubbing Liam’s ear lobe and he can’t even stop his “Do me a favor?!?!??” on TV. Harry knows what’s up. There’s tension. Is it jealousy? General annoyance about Harry getting cheeky with Liam? Not sure. But it’s there.

On the other hand, I agree that people blow moments out of proportion to produce their Jealous!Louis or Jealous!Harry meme and then suddenly it turns into a fact.

For instance, when Harry death stares at James it started as a joke that Harry was jealous. It was just a funny meme. Because obviously Harry just tries to compose himself here for the “scene” but also tries holding back a smile. There’s no jealousy involved. I think Harry was very proud actually and tried to contain his fond.

So my general stance is that their situation is extremely unique and everything you and I find to be an appropriate reaction, an appropriate feeling towards a partner, doesn’t necessarily apply to them.

Louis and Harry have displayed great possessiveness towards each other very early on. Yes, they cuddled with everyone in the band, but these two were… intense. They constantly tried to reassure each other when in public, knowing they have to pretend they are just friends.

And when they were restrained from doing that these two went as far as to get complimentary tattoos amidst of Haylor. Was it driven by jealousy? Heartache? Yearning? Insecurity? Who knows, but they did it. And they did it again. And again.

So what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t have gotten a couple’s tattoo with my boyfriend at 19. My mother would have shaken me. I wouldn’t get all flustered when my boyfriend got cuddly with the other lads who I know are like brothers to him. I wouldn’t get weird because my boyfriend held the hand of said bro during an interview.

But then again, I wasn’t closeted. I wasn’t deeply in love with someone in a band that I was also part of. Whose hand I wasn’t allowed to grab anytime. I wasn’t asked to fake date older people to keep the tabloids interested. I didn’t have to watch my boyfriend hold hands with another woman and say that’s his girlfriend when it was actually me. I didn’t have to watch my boyfriend deny any rumors of us being in love when he told me exactly that just backstage.

So hell, what do I know if we read into things too much and we are looking stupid or if Louis and Harry are indeed overly dramatic in every aspect to cope with the overly dramatic situation their hearts were put through since they were teenagers. I do think they’ve gotten better in reassuring one another over the years, else a long distance relationship wouldn’t survive.

[persimmonteas]

happy railentine’s day

written for Citrus Dome server’s Lover Day collab, check out the other pieces

Word count: ~1.5k words

Pairing: denki x f!reader

Genre: soulmate mark AU (but quirks still exist), fluff and smut

CWs/tags: light electrocution, nipple play, bathroom sex, daddy kink, choking, hair pulling, fingering, dirty talk, my editing, established relationship, dom!denki, (1) spank, praise kink

Notes: art by @annypuff, also a request for @donteathecake that devolved uwu, shoutout to @m00ns0ng​ for spitballing ideas w/ me

How it started: 

“Why are we in this sketchy ass bar for Valentine’s Day?” 

“Because nobody in their right mind would come here for Valentine’s Day. And what better way to avoid my lovely soulmate?” You retort as you take a sip of the lukewarm beer sitting in front of you. 

“I thought you didn’t have one?” Your fellow single coworker cocks an eyebrow at you. 

You grimace, pulling up your sleeve. “I do. I just like to pretend tattoo shops will take my money and laser it off.”  

Your coworker’s confusion drops the second they see your mark. “Wow, your soulmate is, uh, something, huh?” 

You release a long-suffering sigh and roll your sleeve back down. 

“That’s a nice way of putting it.” You level your coworker with a deadpan expression and throw back the rest of your beer. 

A body bumps into you and when he turns to you, you freeze in horror as the words you’ve been dreading to hear spill out of his mouth. 

“Happy railentine’s day! Sorry for bumping into you. Do you want a beer? Oh, are you ok?” The blonde man waves a hand in front of your face. He looks at your coworker, who is in a similar state of shock. 

“What— why in the absolute fuck,” you hear yourself say and the admittedly pretty blonde man’s eyes widen. 

He points at you and you feel like you’ve been forcibly pulled into the spiderman meme. 

“You! You’re my soulmate!” He excitedly looks like he’s about to hug you and you almost reflexively attempt to dodge it. “Wait, I gotta tell my friends where I went but I’ll be right back!”

You groan as you slam your head into your hands. 

“Hey, he seems nice.” Your coworker shrugs. 

“Can I get a refund?” you mumble. “I cannot believe this is real. This is my life. Everybody else gets shit like I’ve been waiting for you all my life or you’re my stars and sun.” 

“He’s really cute though. I’mma go but you should talk to him! Maybe you can have a happy railentine’s day.” Your coworker cackles as they get up to leave.

How it’s going:

“Happy railentine’s day, baby,” Denki beams at you and kisses your nose. 

You suppress a laugh. 

“How many people can say their soulmark words every year?” With a cheeky grin, he wraps his arms around you. At that, you smack him.

“The people who have normal soulmark words!! There are plenty of them,” you counter as you pour out two beers. 

“Yeah, but none of them have you,” Denki says as he drops kisses on your shoulder. 

“I thought railentine’s day was for railing not sweet words,” you joke back. Every Valentine’s Day feels like your first encounter—just with better beer. He did indeed end up railing you in the bathroom of the bar after your titillating conversation about your soulmark. 

“I was joking. It was a joke! Please love me.” “Well, it’s on my fucking body so—”

“Well. I can be too.” 

You can’t bring yourself to feel any shame about your soulmark anymore with how you gushed around his cock that day.

Denki shocking you while kissing your shoulder startles you out of your reminiscing. 

“My bad, baby. You just know how to light me up.” You giggle as he presses an apology kiss to your pulse point. 

“C’mon, let’s go celebrate railentine’s day.” You grab his hand and drag him to the bathroom. 

You can feel the stars in Denki’s eyes as he follows you. “This is why I love you,” he rasps as he backs you up against the counter. 

“Brings back memories, huh?” His hands palm your ass, kneading as he kisses you. 

“Mmhmm,” you hum, entangling your hands into his hair. A rough pull forces a hiss out of him. 

“Rude. I remember being much more in charge that time,” he pouts, caging you in between his toned arms and pulling off your shirt. He tosses it somewhere and immediately drags his hands over your hardening nipples. 

“I’m certainly not stopping you, babe,” you tease.  

Your voice wavers when Denki lowers his head to suck on your nipples, his hold on your hips almost bruising. With a half-lidded gaze, he skims his fingers over the trails of saliva he left on your tits, softly shocking your sensitized nipples. 

“Fuck, Kami!” you toss your head back. From the curve of your neck to your glistening tits to how you’re soaked through your sleep shorts and panties, Denki can’t decide where he wants to keep his gaze. 

“Nuh huh,” he disagrees with a hard pull of your nipples. “What’s my name, love?” 

“Daddy, please fuck me.” You give Denki your best pleading face. 

As much as Denki would love to say he can hold out on you, the truth is he’s totally whipped. He knows it. You know it. You watch your boyfriend cave as he starts rushing to tug off clothes.

“Now, this is really starting to feel like a flashback,” Denki chuckles as he cups your throat and chin, forcing you to look into the mirror. With a shove, he forces you to drop your elbows onto the counter, arching your back towards him. 

You lean into his touch as he glides his pretty hands all over your body. 

Whimpers pour out of your mouth when he slides two fingers inside you without resistance.

“Your pussy is sopping wet,” he remarks with far too much nonchalance, working you open and dragging his fingers over your slit to pinch at your clit. “Keep those legs spread open for me. Good girl.” 

Denki loves watching you in the mirror. Your mussed hair, bright eyes and heaving chest is one of his favorite sights. 

You watch him suck his fingers clean of your taste and moan, desperate to have him inside of you. In an attempt to speed him up, you wiggle your ass at him. 

Denki smacks your ass cheek with enough force that you just know it’ll bruise tomorrow. He soothes the sting with a caress. 

“So impatient. You want to cum on a fat cock that badly, huh?” He taunts, gliding his cock over your cunt. You bite back a bratty comment and get on your tiptoes and part your legs, spreading yourself open more.

Denki groans at the sight and stops teasing with a slide inside of you, tweaking one of your nipples in his hand. Your warm walls clenching down on his thick cock elicits a moan from both of you. 

He babbles about how you’re such a good girl for daddy. How you’re so tight and how he loves splitting you open. 

“Fuck, fuck, oh my god, ’m going to cum,” you pant, grinding against him, feeling the telltale warmth of your orgasm approaching. Your pussy clamping down on him makes Denki lean more weight against you, pressing you into the counter, as he fucks you harder.

“I love cumming over your cock, daddy,” you encourage with a whine. Your pussy is still twitching from your orgasm aftershocks. 

Denki buries himself with a deep thrust and spills his cum inside of you with a gasp. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. I’m so glad I went to that seedy bar that one day.” He kisses the back of your neck and pulls out, hauling himself off of you. Denki grabs you before you buckle to the ground. 

“Oh my god, Kami. Me too.”

You stumble over to the shower, groping to find the knob. 

“Are you good?” He watches with an amused expression. 

You wave a hand at him. “Yeah, can you go grab beer? I think we deserve shower beers.” 

“God, I love you.”

[dancefloors]

If you do another unhinged ranking could you do 1989?? I feel like Wonderland or Style are up there

okay time to give back to the swiftie community I suppose. 1989 ranked from most to least unhinged ❤️ (manslaughter not taken into account to be unbiased):

out of the woods: MOST crazy. airplane necklace mention, bridge city, jack antonoff yodelling, gay implications of being "out" and "in the clear", and her being like "remember when you crashed a car and cried about it?" all in 3 minutes and 55 seconds. also the foundation of the harry styles can't drive cinematic universe.

style: the fucking title. she was taking no prisoners. a direct finger to the Directioners who spent months making fun of her about the songs she might write referencing Harry and she was like yeah. what about it. how's this for a reference. and then said horny shit for 3 min. also we get IT he can't drive, point made!!!!

you are in love: jantonoff and lena dunham fanfiction 😐

wonderland: I could count on one hand the scenarios funnier to me than taylor writing this song inspired by Alice in Wonderland and then dianna agron getting her Alice in Wonderland tattoo lasered off. the girls are fightinggggg

shake it off: love this song bc Taylor has never shaken anything off in her entire life so I love her for pretending she does and then going off on a tangent about her ex man having a new girlfriend in the middle for absolutely no discernable reason.

how you get the girl: gay

clean: content wise incredibly cathartic but she is SO batshit crazy and funny for writing this and being like I'm clean :) never again <3 then writing style 10 days later.

wildest dreams: she used her real life heart beat.... society if taylor swift was normal.

bad blood: mildly unhinged for the absolute melodrama of this one. "I couldn't breathe" "salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me" girl I don't think you even remember why you wrote this song.

welcome to new york: cites one of the reasons she moved to new york to be so Other people can have gay rights. okay queen

blank space: I actually think this is "unhinged" with intention therefore much more of a demonstration of how smart she is as a writer. but I love how she was like POV: I'm crazy!!!!!!

new romantics: "please leave me stranded it's so romantic" seek help.

I know places: writes this song and then goes to central park on a date. are you sure you know places

I wish you would: not unhinged just funny to me to imagine this person driving past her house every night and her noticing but neither of them saying anything, just simply manifesting. also none of this would've happened if you knew how to sleep at the appropriate time

this love: the original cardigan. this song makes me feel serene. but the fact that she wrote this 4 days before red came out 😐😐😐😐

all you had to do was stay: mostly just a banger but the high pitched "STAY" chorus coming to her in a dream.. even her least crazy song is a bit insane

[sidespart]

For the fake fic title, if you're still doing it: Why do you hate me? (I honestly don't know where I came up with this lol)

X-Men AU!!! Found Family + Anxceit friendship. TW: child soldiers, child endangerment, abuse etc

(So typical X-men universe set up: some people are born with the X gene, which typically triggers during puberty, giving that person a mutation which normally results in cool powers. Many people hate mutants for their differences (/ bad press of people using their mutant powers for the evilz) and so most mutants live in hiding. The Xavier Institute is a school set up by an extremely powerful mutant which seeks to provide a safe space for young mutants to learn to manage their powers, get a regular education and hopes to see peace between humanity and mutant kind. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a group of mutants who believe humans will never let mutant live in peace and do various anti-human, pro-mutant vaguely terrorist-y actions (there’s like a billion version of the x-men and these details may not be correct for all the versions all of the time because comics but this is the vague idea))

ANYWAY PLOT - Containment breach at the Super Secret Child Soldier Lab (SSCSL) - Subject VII has escaped. Subject VII is only 6-7 years old but his mutations were artificially triggered much younger than is normal. He can warp reality and create very sophisticated illusions, but has very limited control over his powers.

Cut too - Virgil and Dee, a couple of teenage mutants living on the street. They find a little boy with a buzzcut wandering around The Bad Part Of Town and Virgil immediately decides they need to adopt/help him (Dee makes more of a fuss about how this is not their responsibility and the kids barely even talking and do you know how hard I work just to keep you and now you wanna add another mouth to feed?? Huhh?? but obviously does not actually say no) (Dee is like. Barely any older than Virgil he’s just dramatic). 

Naturally, just as the three of them have had time to bond, the SSCSL and other assorted bad guys show up to try and take VII back. There’s a big fight, Virgil and Dee have a lot more experience with flight and would probably have ended up dead if the X-men (Patton and Logan) hadn't shown up to save them. 

But they lose VII.

Patton and Logan take them back to the Xavier institute to recuperate and offer to let them stay. They can go to school there, get some training and help the X-men track down VII and the whole SSCSL. Virgil says yes, Dee says no.

(So, reasoning - Virgil's mutation developed when he was 12. It was not pleasant. Various students at his school were injured and the media set up a which hunt for the mutant that caused the chaos. Virgil ran away from home because he was worried about the backlash on his family and about hurting anyone else again. So to him, this school full of mutants who can help him control his power, can offer him stability and a return to normal structures and routines, who are promising to help him get in contact with his parents if and when he’s ready?? This is like every fantasy he’s ever had come true

Unlike the other characters, Dee’s primary mutation is physical. He was born with it, its very obvious and its resulted in him being rejected for most of his life. He bounced around increasingly disturbing foster homes before running away when he was very young, so most of his memories are of living on the streets and surviving on his own. So, to him, number one: all adults are inherently untrustworthy idiots and number two: stay at a school? where they expect him to have a curfew? and, what - write essays? follow all their random arbitrary rules? rely on them for food and heat and all that shit? Completely ludicrous.)

It doesn't occur to either of them that the other one isn't going to agree with them. The resulting argument is epic and cruel, both hurling accusations at the other (Ungrateful /controlling are two of the big ones..) and both basically feeling hateful and 100% betrayed. Dee leaves and although they look for him, he’s got a lifetime experience of hiding and they cant find him.

CUT TO - 5 years later. Virgil is a (semi) well adjusted 19 year old junior X-men. He’s still a bit withdrawn, but is very close with Patton and Logan. He’s still holding out hope of finding VII one day and still firmly pretending he’s not listing out for any possible news of Dee (there were rumours some years ago of him joining the brother hood of evil mutants but then it all went quiet) who he, of course, hates for his betrayal. 

BUT THEN - mysterious knocking at the door in the night. Dee, now wearing a hat and cape and calling himself Janus, has returned. And he’s brought with him a little boy with a buzzcut and a tattoo of XXII on his foot.

Janus and Virgil need to put aside their resentment and work together to help XXII, who really does not seem interested in helping them, and hopefully use any clues he can give them about the SSCSL to track down VII. But that's difficult when they’re both still struggling with their own trauma and have no idea how to reconnect - both of them want to ask why do you hate me but are a bit too scared of the answer. ...

This already got way to long so mutant power/ extra back story descriptions under cut!

Patton - 22/27 years old. An extremely powerful telepath/empath. It takes him serious concentration and focus to not hear peoples thoughts and its almost impossible to not feel their feelings. Some people dislike him because of this as they feel he's spying on them. Grew up in the Xavier institute and 100% believes in and is committed to the future where humans and mutants live in harmony. Has pretty limited life experience in the real world. Sometimes floats. (inspired by professor X)

Logan - 21/26 years old. Fires destructive laser beams from his eyes. Was in a car accident when he was younger leaving him with permanent but apparently harmless brain damage - until his mutation developed and he slowly realised that no matter how much he trained he just couldn't control his power. Has to wear specialised eye guards at all times to keep himself from accidentally destroying everything around him. Had big plans to go to university and was angry at his mutation for a long time for getting in the way of that. Eventually enrolled online and is now a very dedicated teacher at the Institute. (inspired by cyclops) 

Janus - 15(?) / 20(?) His primary mutation is  lizard/snake like scales over most of his body, but especially the left side. Has oversized fangs, and yellow eye and a short lizard tail. His secondary mutation makes him immune to almost any sort of mental based mutation (so Logan could still knock him on his ass with his lasers, but Patton cant sense anything form him and Virgil cant whammy him). Spent a lot of his life on his own and got by being sneaky, cunning and charming. Initially took Virgil in because he saw that his powers could be useful for keeping them both safe, but eventually Virgil became his first real friend.

Virgil - 14/19. Shadow manipulation and ‘draining’. Virgil can make himself (and with practice, people he touches) literally disappear into the shadows. He can also direct shadows as powerful energy ‘blasts’, but in order to do so he has to drain any surrounding living things of their energy. When his mutation first developed  he took out half of the school hall where his exam was being held, leaving 15 students in a coma. (inspired by rouge/shadow cat)

VII - 6? / 11? Reality warping/illusion powers. One of the institutes first successful subjects. He was able to escape by changing the wall of his cell into a door. He finds it hard to talk but can project his ideas as lifelike illusions who can talk for him. One of his best is the image a handsome grown up Prince and he will often use this Illusion as an avatar to communicate. When he was 6 he did have some hazy memories of outside the SSCSL and expressed a desire to go home. Current status is unknown. 

XXI - 7.  Illusion powers  (reality warping has been removed from the program by his time as subjects proved too difficult to control). Has no memories of outside the institute and is extremely uncooperative with his new captors/guardians. He does not understand the affection they’re trying to show him and lashes out a lot, often by creating a lot of extremely disturbing and graphic illusions. Bites. 

[ilikemesometaetaes]

Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk

Chapter Six (M)

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes​

•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader, Taehyung/Reader (slight)

•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @dariangarcia​​, @btssmutgalore​, and @junghoseokit​​ for supporting my work. To my mamas, Kaitlin, Adora, Lauren, Lanie, Lu, and Sher.

•••> Word Count: 7.81k

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Tags: Jungkook x Reader | Tattooed!Jungkook | angst | smut | ceo!au | rockstar!au | CEO!Reader | Rockstar!Jungkook | AU!BTS | Exes to Lovers

•••> Warnings: angst, dirty talk, sexual teasing, heartbreak, cursing, pining, depression, breakup, emotional instability, arguing | Warnings are written specifically to chapter.

Copyright © 2021 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.

Taglist: @dariangarcia​​​ @apurpledheart​​​ @itsgottabeyoo-ngs​​​ @hytibm​​ @namjinsbaby​​ @ggukkieland​​ @fan-ati--c​​

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, say so in a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page, or send me an ask!

NAVIGATION: Chapter Five (M) <- | -> Chapter Seven (M) -> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist

•••> Official Playlist 

~#~

“I put the dirt into dirtbag. Still got your jacket in my bag.”

THEN.

“Kookie!” You screamed in between breaths, eyes watering at the struggle. “Stop! Please!”

“No way!” His laugh was buried in your hair as he pressed his face against the back of your head. “Apologize!”

“For what?” You wheezed, attempting to get away from the curling fingers that tickled your ribs relentlessly. His long legs were wrapped around your body, restricting your movement and effectively taking away almost any opportunity to escape.

“For calling me a singing demon!” His hands continued their assault, sending you into another laughing fit. You fought helplessly against his tattooed arms.

You wanted to bite back, but the lack of air in your lungs prevented you from doing so. Your heart beat wildly, adrenaline spiking and arms flailing against his grip. Desperation flooding your mind, you wrapped your hand around the one that caged your neck and dug your nails into his flesh in hopes that the pain would get him to weaken his hold.

Jungkook only laughed again and hummed teasingly. “Oh, just like that. Harder, baby.”

Squirming didn’t help much, but when you shifted your hips and felt something poking into your spine, you huffed with defeat on the horizon. His obvious boner signified that he liked your struggle- a clear indicator that there was no way he was letting you go any time soon.

Unless…

With another shift of your hips to grind your ass upwards on him, seating his dick between your clothed ass cheeks, you let the situation take over your body with your brain rewiring into a horny mindset in order to distract him.

“Jungkook,” You whispered through a gasp, hoping the change of pace would throw him off. It was a stunt you always pulled; whether it be during an argument or sex, changing the pace would unfocus your boyfriend’s attention and give you the upper hand.

Sure enough, Jungkook’s embrace around you loosened so that he could give himself more room to slide his manhood against you.

“Oh, baby...” He grunted into your ear with a sliver of surprise tainting his lust.

Slowly, so as to not trigger him, you slid one hand down his stomach and slid two fingers below the waistband of his shorts. With your body on top of him, you couldn’t go further inward, so you settled on harshly scraping your nails across his hip while you dug your other hand harder into his forearm.

“Please.” You said with more air in your lungs. Finally, you could breathe.

“Are you begging for me to fuck you?” His dick twitched against you, desperate to bury itself between your thighs. “Or are you pleading for mercy? Tell me, Y/N,”

Jungkook flipped the two of you over so that your chest pressed into the bed and his entire body pinned you to the mattress with a swift cant of his hips. “Which one is it?”

For a moment, you rolled your eyes and struggled to look at him from your compromised position. It wasn’t until your eyes caught sight of the numbers on the clock sitting on the nightstand that you began struggling with a new burst of concern in your mind.

“Jungkook!” You wheezed. “The time!”

“Answer my question, Y/N. I can stay here all night. The stage can wait.”

“But you’ll be late!” Your voice increased in volume.

“Only if you continue avoiding my question…” Jungkook trailed off for a moment before he leaned down to murmur softly in your ear. “Well, I’ll only be late if you refuse to let go of your pride to ask for mercy and beg for my cock instead. I will rearrange your guts if that is what you’re asking for.”

You huffed in frustration, the desire to fuck your boyfriend dissipating with his words. You knew that Jimin would be through the roof by now, searching high and low for the lead singer of BTS to dress him properly.

“Mercy.” You finally grumbled in defeat, not wanting to delay him any longer.

Almost disappointedly, Jungkook grunted as he removed his weight from on top of you. “Fine.”

“I’ll go turn on the car.” You got up and swiped the keys off of your dresser, thankful that you were still dressed in your internship clothes.

“You go do that.” Jungkook chuckled whilst sliding his shorts off of his body to reveal a very obvious boner tenting his boxers that you pretended to be oblivious of. “You’re a master at turning me on so I trust you with that.”

“Ew.” You grimaced at the poorly-delivered joke. “That was terrible.”

“No, it wasn’t. It was clever.” Jungkook chided.

“Not at all.” You quipped. After you watched him slide a pair of jeans up his muscular legs, you turned to leave. You just needed to make sure he got dressed. “I’ll be in the car.”

~#~

Jimin’s knowledge of art always mystified you. His prowess wasn’t the type of intelligence like knowing how Picasso depicted the loss of innocence in Guernica or how the melting clocks of Dali introduced surrealism to the world of art- no, that was Taehyung’s strong-suit.

Jimin knew how to create his own version of art that left viewers wistful and in absolute awe by making a stage the vessel of his masterpieces.

As you sat on the balcony, overlooking the crowd while they all thrashed and jumped to the beat of Hoseok’s bass drum and the duo of guitars that was Namjoon and Jungkook, you just had to sit back in your chair and stare at the composition that was Jimin’s show.

Flashes of blue and red lights swept across the crowd, printing themselves temporarily into the crowd’s retinas so that when the opposite color came back, a light hue of purple was brought into the experience for a fleeting moment. Short puffs of fire whenever Namjoon strummed a power chord warmed your face, even from the distance in which you sat from the stage, and lasers shot through the crowd every time Yoongi penetrated the sounds of his group with the keys of his keyboard.

Graphics on the jumbotron behind the band, which were also of Jimin’s creation, outlined each member with curls of dark, tentacle-like wisps that matched the purple hue of the crowd with its raven color.

The last song of the setlist, Blue and Grey, was one you were all too familiar with. The lights faded to a soft blue for a moment as Taehyung began the first strong notes with his bass and the crowd in the venue whooped and hollered in excitement- Blue and Grey was BTS’ most popular song. A year and a half into their journey of being a band and they already had a crowd favorite.

As Taehyung continued his bass line with his guitar and tattooed strumming arm put on display by Jimin’s spotlight, Jungkook leaned into the mic and began strumming his own guitar.

“Where is my angel?”

You sighed and leaned forward in your seat, loving the way Jungkook’s voice carried throughout the performance hall.

Taehyung accompanied Jungkook with the intro until Hoseok joined in to transition into the first verse with his high hat and snare drum.

Once the chorus hit, you couldn’t help but stand from your seat as you began to feel the power of BTS’ music rocking the venue.

“I just wanna be happier. To melt the cold me.”

Jungkook’s neck veins bulged from his skin as he belted out the notes, sweat dribbling down his temples from exertion. Even as he huffed for breath in between his lines, the image of him dressed in all black and owning the stage while ripping his fingers through his guitar strings was one you could never get tired of.

The songs were full of angst- the dark, unspoken feelings that not many people talked about- and you loved how you heard them from Jungkook through music. If only he were this honest when it was just the two of you.

“Don’t say it’s okay, ‘cause it’s not okay.” Jungkook closed up his lines with a heartbreaking tone that every fan in the crowd sang along with as Namjoon prepared to sing his part. For a brief moment, your boyfriend met your eyes across the large venue.

“Please don’t leave me alone. It hurts too much.”

~#~

NOW.

You walked into your building, grateful for the warm protection it offered against the freezing winter of New York City.

Noticing the lack of staff around, being that there was only the elevator operator and the receptionist sitting behind the marble counter, you glanced at your watch to check just how long you spent working.

20:17, your watch read. You had been working in front of computer screens and reading contracts for almost 9 hours.

“Greetings, ma’am!” The receptionist stood from his chair. “May I be of any service to you this evening?”

You shook your head to the man and continued on your path to the elevator where the other employee in the lobby waited to take you up. “None needed. I’ll be leaving momentarily.”

“Very well. Please let me know if you need anything.” He sat back down and turned his gaze to the computer in front of him.

The sound of your pumps echoed against the vast but empty room until you stopped in front of the elevator where the woman already had the doors opening in preparation.

“Good evening, ma’am.” She said lowly.

“ ‘Evening.” You responded, stepping inside without another word. The woman kept the conversation at that, which you appreciated, so you smiled at her in gratitude after you placed your key in the penthouse slot. She returned your smile with her own before the doors closed to encase you in silence.

The ride up was quiet, warranting you to pull out your phone so that you could read over your conversation with Taehyung again.

Why am I wearing think socks? I hate thick socks.

Read at 8:01 pm

Trust me. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Is that so? Why?

Read 8:03 pm

Just wear the damn socks, Y/N.

Are you gonna tell me where we’re going?

Read 8:04 pm

Negative, captain

Tf

Why am I a captain now

Read 8:04 pm

Cuz I said so. Now stop talking or you’ll make me give away my position

Alright.

Read 8:05 pm

I said stop talking

…?

Read 8:05 pm

Fucking hell.

You let a small giggle slip past your lips at how normal the text conversation was. It was as if you never stopped talking to him, slipping into the normalcy of having Taehyung back in your life as quickly as it had been to cut him out of it. You zoned out for a moment in thought.

The strange sensation of friendship didn’t take any getting used to as it settled itself back into your bones and filled your heart with warmth like it never left- like the ice covering the beating organ was only temporary. As you stood alone, staring shallowly at the increasing floor numbers, you smiled in content.

The elevator slowed as the cabin came close to reaching the top floor, bringing you back to your senses. Sliding your phone back into the pocket of your slacks, you looked up once the elevator doors opened, only to drop your briefcase to the floor loudly.

Jungkook sat against the wall beside your door with his knees tucked under his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs. At the sound of your clumsiness clattering on the ground, his gaze snapped to you as he scrambled to stand up.

Anger flooded you immediately. You wanted to backhand him and rip his hair out. You wanted to scream and cry and lose your shit. However much you wanted to hurt him, though, you could not afford catching an assault charge on the man who defaced you once before.

There was a break of silence as you stood staring at him, unsure of how to handle the punch in your mood while the memories were forced to surface in your mind.

“Y/N…” Jungkook trailed, breaking the tangible barrier of tension. He took a step forward whilst obviously hesitating. “I-”

Instead of screaming at him, you went for the more sophisticated and controlled route to keep your lividity at bay whilst stopping his sentence in its tracks.

“How did you get up here?” It was a sensible question to ask. You just wanted to prevent him from deepening the conversation.

“I pulled some strings.” He murmured, looking down almost shyly, before piping up with more confidence. “But listen, I-”

“Save it.” You cut him off again, unable to control your facade much longer. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

His anxious expression turned worried- desperate. You didn’t miss the way his eyes became more expressive than you’ve ever seen them. “Please, Y/N.”

“Please what, Jungkook?”

“Please just give me a moment to speak.”

For a beat, you pondered his request. Taehyung’s words weighed heavily on your mind. We needed to talk.

Fuck talking. You have been done talking for ages.

“Wow.” You scoffed coldly, ice barriers slamming back into place over your heart. Taehyung had been able to melt them away, but Jungkook put them right back with fierce determination to completely ruin you. “You just want to take everything from me, huh?”

“Y/N, what-“ He blinked cluelessly, caught off-guard by your sarcasm.

“I gave you years to speak, Jungkook. I gave you everything.” You stepped forward, the boiling rage overtaking your body, and came to a stop in front of him with the fury of a charging bull. You wanted him to feel small and vulnerable.

“What else could I possibly give you? I have nothing left.” He took everything. The veins in your body were emptied and exhausted of every single ounce of energy to fight for someone.

You were unaware of the way Jungkook’s fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white and his nails dug into his palms.

You failed to notice how much he trembled under your gaze, physically struggling to protect his butterfly from your wrath.

Your vicious swings at the dainty being of hope were nothing compared to what he, himself, had done to it. Jungkook found it ironic that you gave him an aspect that he was just barely strong enough to protect yet took the darker things from inside him and destroyed them as if they were mere placeholders- as if you were his puppeteer.

You were too stressed to realize the toll it took on Jungkook to keep his act together. He needed to keep the door open long enough to be your friend. Anything to prevent losing you. Earlier, his demons swooped in and overtook him, suffocating him to silence once again, but for the first time, they ebbed away at the mere thought of you.

As he walked down the street with his stage persona flowing, the simple thought of your name empowered his butterfly to beat its wings so fiercely that it blew away all of the impending smoke and dark tentacles of smog that threatened to overtake his vision.

Once he thought of you, he thought of everything.

Your anger was justified. He understood that now. Watching you huff breath after breath following your question was somehow relieving- you still cared enough to be pissed off. Jungkook forced himself to look on the bright side of the encounter with you; he made himself see that you were still passionate about the past. You were passionately upset and he couldn’t be happier.

He had seen you with Taehyung. He saw the way you were happy again. Jungkook wanted a part of that because he was too selfish to back off and stay dormant in your life- too determined to make you silence his demons.

Even if it was just as a friend. He could deal with that.

“You’re right.” Jungkook stated.

You paused in your tracks at the concession. Anger no longer blazing- staying right where it was- you quirked an eyebrow at him. Any time the two of you fought, he would never come even close to alluding that you were right.

“You’re right and I’m sorry, Y/N.”

An apology.

Words always seemed minimal to you. Unless to communicate information, you found that words filled with feeling didn’t mean much from someone you didn’t know.

After Jungkook, anyone that told you they loved you was promptly deemed a liar. Kate worked hard to make sure you were aware of the fact that she would actually take a bullet for you because of how much she loved you. She spent moment after moment proving to you that she cared deeply even though she didn’t have to put up with you.

Your parents, despite not talking to you much, expressed their love and gratitude whenever you sent them money. You knew they were hard workers like you and didn’t have time to worry about trivial things like words. Instead of taking the easy way out by simply telling you that they loved you, they showed you.

But Jungkook, who claimed to love you in the way that a lover would- the only person to actually do so- lied.

You could never trust the words in that way again.

Still, you couldn’t help but be taken by surprise.

“I’m right? Really?”

“Y/N, you’ve been right since the beginning. I took and took and just stopped giving back. I understand that you’re angry and I want to fix it so that you don’t hate me anymore. I want to make it right.”

You were silent. You hadn’t expected him to admit his fault so easily. Jungkook changing the pace of your conversation ruined your momentum, sending you stumbling and scrambling for thoughts.

Jungkook sighed for a moment, pressing his lips into a thin line as he let his eyes drop to the floor in your silence. He wasn’t about to lose the opportunity to elaborate further, though.

“Look, I know I fucked up. Bad. I know you can’t possibly forgive me right now, but I want you to know that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done to you.”

Your automatic reaction to being emotionally pushed came back, closing you down and disguising you as a cold woman.

“What the fuck do you know? What the fuck do you know about how badly you fucked up? I don’t need your lame-ass apology, Jungkook. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. Stop pretending that you do. Sure, we fucked a little and kissed a few times, but that’s all that it was.” You grit out the last few words, lying through your teeth. “Now please move. You’re blocking the door.”

Shockingly, Jungkook obeyed. He stepped aside and clasped his hands behind his back without another word, allowing you to walk to your door and open it.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

No matter how many times you repeated the words in your head, commanding yourself to abide by the mantra as if it were law, the emotions in your head managed to break through and force your head to turn back after stepping through the doorway.

Jungkook stood as still as a statue, staring at you with a blank expression that was almost eerie. You glanced down quickly, unable to maintain the eye contact, and noticed that his knuckles were clenched.

It was almost as if he was a completely different person because of the fact that his appearance was drastically different from that of BTS Jungkook. The man that stood in front of you was no rockstar. He was not an idol nor a role model that millions looked up to.

He was a scared boy. The fear that riddled his eyes was extremely difficult to miss and it made him seem almost small whilst standing in the small junction between the elevator and your penthouse.

You shut the door in his face impulsively, hoping that you wouldn’t have to see him again.

Backing away from the door slightly, you waited until you heard the elevator signal that its doors were closing before going to look through the peephole. You finally released your breath and slumped against the door when you saw that he had left.

Without his presence putting you on edge and keeping you on your toes, you could finally reflect on the conversation that just transpired.

He admitted his wrongdoings and apologized for them. He showed you his belly and became vulnerable. He admitted defeat.

Jungkook wasn’t an apologetic person in the slightest; he wasn’t a forgiving one either. In all the years that you had known him, he was headstrong and stubborn- if you looked past the part where he closed himself off and cheated, of course.

This Jungkook, the one you had just spoken to, was not the one you remember. Maybe you were right. Maybe you didn’t know him anymore.

Your phone vibrating in your pocket distracted you from pondering any further over the epiphany, prompting you to pull it out and fumble with it to get away from the confusing subject. You were thankful for the distraction.

Kim Taehyung (BTS)

I’ll be out front in 15 mins

Cursing internally, you left the idea of Jungkook behind you and rushed to change into clothes better suited for the cold weather.

It was a given that a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips when you slid thick tube socks over your ankles. You hadn’t actually worn tube socks in ages because they didn’t exactly go with your usual professional style of suits and heels.

You zipped your coat up about three-fourths of the way before turning to look at yourself in your mirror with a huff.

Suddenly, you were bombarded with a memory as it flashed before your eyes.

“You know you look good, babe.”

You giggled as Jungkook came up behind you to look at you in the reflection, setting his chin on your shoulder while he used his tongue to toy with the hoop pierced into his lip.

“Thanks, Kook. Just want to look my best is all.” You met his eyes in your bedroom mirror, smiling softly.

“Well, you look beautiful.”

You were left staring at the empty space where his face was, unsure of how to react as you stumbled back from the intrusion. Another meaningless scene came barging into your senses before you could process the first.

“Wow…” You trailed off as you looked at the angry red spot on Jungkook’s chest. A brand new tattoo, the size of your hand, raised out of his skin and shined under the luminescent light of the tattoo parlor. With the tattoo artist cleaning up his station behind the two of you, you were left to admire his beauty in his reflection.

Jungkook stood shirtless in front of the full-length mirror as he smiled brightly at the last tattoo to complete his set. Your eyes drank in the way each exhibit of inked art contrasted with his smooth, caramel expanse of skin while you stood behind him.

The new piece, which was almost large enough to touch the Chinese characters stamped onto the side of his neck and the back of his ear, was a depiction of an angel falling from the heavens. The detail in the blackening feathers attached to the angel’s back was mesmerizing, drawing all of the attention from the rest of the tattoos covering Jungkook’s chest.

“Is there any special meaning behind it?” You asked, knowing that your boyfriend had a few meaningless tattoos that were part of his ‘woke-up-and-it-was-there’ collection.

For a moment, Jungkook stayed silent as he studied the work of art in the mirror. It wasn’t until you called his name again that he answered your question while meeting your gaze in the reflection.

“Nah. It just looked really cool to me.”

You pressed your hand to your forehead and looked away from your mirror, wondering why- now, of all times- you just had to remember those small memories.

You didn’t miss him- you know you didn’t. But something within you twisted at the thought of being with him- the memory of how it felt to be his.

The disconnect between the feelings of your heart and the thoughts of your mind, ever so obvious, shifted. His apology was unexpected, to say the least, but it was also surprisingly heartfelt and pulling on your need to forgive.

Saved by the bell, your landline phone began to ring.

You rushed to the bedside table and grabbed the phone from its dock, pulling it to your ear.

“Ms. Y/L/N? It’s the front desk. Mr. Kim Taehyung is here and waiting for you.”

“Got it. Thank you. I’ll be down in a moment.” You hung up the phone and grabbed your wallet and keys before shuffling over to your desk to grab your briefcase on instinct.

“Wait,” you spoke aloud, laughing at yourself and withdrawing your reach. “I don’t need that.”

As you opened the door to your penthouse, the sound of something lightly hitting your door had you looking down.

A small, navy blue bag, the size of your palm, swung from the doorknob and hit lightly against the wood from the momentum of you opening your door. Confused, you unhooked the loop from the doorknob and looked inside the bag to find a familiar-looking box inside.

Gingerly, you pulled it out and opened it. In the way of the box’s contents was a folded piece of notebook paper with your name scrawled across the top in Jungkook’s messy handwriting.

You held your breath after reading the note and looked down at the small charm.

Since you gave me yours, I’ll give you mine. -jk

In the fabric of the satin display lay the familiar gold chain that Jungkook gifted you those few years ago, but, instead of the small J that you were so familiar with, lay your own initial.

You knew Jungkook’s way with words well enough to know that the small note connected his intentions to the chain. You were instantly pulled back to the night that he gifted the necklace to you in the first place.

“It’s beautiful. Happy one-year, babe.” You whispered onto his lips with a smile.

After you sat back into your seat, Jungkook walked to your side of the table to put the chain around your neck. “I obviously have the describe how much this necklace means so that you never take it off.”

You laughed. “I wouldn’t even dream of taking it off, Kook.”

“I still need to explain. It was like a message from heaven when I saw them in the jewelry store.” He pouted, returning to his seat. “So the idea with these is that we’re wearing parts of each other. You’re wearing the part of me that belongs to you and I’m wearing the part of you that belongs to me.”

Jungkook continued as he raised his glass. “So even though you think this necklace is yours because it’s your letter, it’s actually mine.”

You cocked your head in confusion, struggling to understand the concept. “What are you talking about?”

“It sounded so much better in my head, I swear.”

You understood the idea now.

Push off the emotions. Don’t think about them.

You were hellbent on ignoring the weakness, knowing full well what path you would go down if you let them get to you.

Instead, you made your way down to the lobby with the bag gripped tightly in your mitten-clad hands, heading to the desk with determination furrowing your brow. Even as Taehyung stood from the small sofa in the lobby upon seeing you, you did not spare him a glance.

Forcefully, you thrusted the bag into the receptionists’ face, internally wincing at your rude gesture.

“Please put this in the lost and found. I have no idea where it came from.”

The receptionist did well at hiding his expression, however, you could still see a sense of somber recognition behind his eyes. You decided not to press him seeing as you want to avoid the topic of Jungkook like the plague.

“Understood, ma’am.” He took the bag from your grasp before you had the chance to rethink addressing his slip of emotion, placing it in a drawer by his knee. He looked back up and gestured to Taehyung after locking the drawer. “Mr. Kim is here for you.”

You sighed in a mild sense of accomplishment, forcing yourself to shut out the regret and sadness for giving away a formerly precious memory, before turning to face Taehyung with a small smile to mask your inner turmoil. Your smile faltered when you noticed that Taehyung mirrored the same expression on his face that the receptionist wore.

“What?” You asked, walking to him.

“I just-” He looked down for a moment, scowling, and you noticed he had placed his small barbell back into his eyebrow. “-nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Why won’t you tell me anything?” The two of you had walked to the door, stopping before going out into the cold so that you could finish your conversation.

“Like I said before, it’s not my place to say or judge.”

Taehyung opened the door to an icy gust of wind before you could protest, chilling you into a mind-numbing stupor as you whispered, “Holy fucking shit.”

“Good god, it is freezing.” Taehyung mumbled, linking an arm around your body and ushering you towards his SUV across the sidewalk.

Once sat inside the warmth of the cabin, you shivered in satisfaction at the heat gracing your body.

“Please tell me we’re not going to be outside for whatever we’re doing.” You pleaded to him. The light from the city was filtered by the darkened car windows, however, you could still see Taehyung’s shoulders moving up and down when he chuckled.

“Unfortunately, we are, but fortunately, I brought some heat packs for us.”

You whined in protest, looking up to the GPS screen in front of the driver to see if you could identify where the two of you were going. Without a route plotted, you were left even more curious.

About twenty minutes of small talk and a brief roast session targeting Hoseok later, you sat in front of the ice skating rink at the Rockefeller Center.

“We’re ice skating?” You asked, suddenly in shock. You hadn’t been ice skating since-

No. Stop it. Your mind warred with itself as it suppressed the memory threatening to spill over into your eyes.

“You’re quite the detective.” Taehyung’s sentence was drenched in sarcasm, functioning as the perfect distraction, and prompted you to lightly shove him with a giggle as you exited the vehicle.

“I thought I was a captain.” You pouted against the cold, pulling your hat down on your head even further in hopes of retaining your body heat and warmth from the van.

“You are.” Taehyung laughed again. “Captain Detective.”

You only rolled your eyes at his playfulness before you turned to face the rink from the sidewalk. A person passing behind you and bumping into your back lightly had you cursing New York City’s busy and bustling population.

Seeing all of the people on the rink, you instantly remembered that you did not inform Jay of your whereabouts.

“Do we have security?” Worry riddled your brain as you turned to look at him with your eyes widening in a panic. You became hyperaware of all of the possible outcomes to Taehyung being identified in such a crowded place.

Taehyung sighed as he walked you up to the ticket booth. “We don’t. I just want to have a normal and plain but fun time with my friend- without someone glaring at me like they don’t want to be here while they breathe down my neck.”

Despite understanding his statement, you couldn’t help the automatic stress to being in public without any form of protection.

“Taehyung,” You warned, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Y/N,” He mocked your tone childishly before leveling it to his regular voice. “Relax, weirdo. We’re here to have fun and people are too busy having their own fun to notice us.”

“I doubt that.”

It wasn’t until you got your rental skates tightly secured onto your feet and began walking toward the ice that Taehyung mentioned a vital detail that he definitely should have mentioned prior to arriving at the center.

“You what?” You were baffled to say the least.

“I can’t skate.” He sheepishly brought his hand to the back of his head and adjusted his trapper hat under your scrutiny.

“Then why did we come?” You were almost yelling at that point.

“Because Brian told me that you liked ice skating!” Taehyung gripped at your fingers tightly, anxiety getting the best of him.

Fucking hell, Brian.

“Did he?” Your laugh was almost hysterical because of how wrong he was. You were becoming increasingly hesitant about giving your personal assistant a raise now.

Still, it was worth the effort. Brian was just trying to help the world’s most popular bassist when he came to him in need of information. It was a decent attempt.

“Yeah,” Taehyung huffed. “He did.”

“Well, Tae, I’ll have you know,” You moved towards the ice rink with determination. “I haven’t been ice skating in ages and I hardly like it. Hopefully, I still have muscle memory.”

“Oh god.” Taehyung groaned, tipping his head back as the feeling of imminent and utter chaos ensued. “Fucking hell, Brian.”

As soon as you stepped on the ice, you realized that you were still perfectly coordinated enough to complete the task.

Taehyung, on the other hand, clung to the walls like the world was attempting to swallow him into the ground. Dutifully, you stood next to him with a cautious hand on his back in the case that he went tumbling.

The sight was one to behold.

Kim Taehyung, hard core rockstar- the physical definition of a stereotypical ‘bad boy’- with tattoos littering his skin and a glistening eyebrow piercing that was winking at you from under his gray trapper, stood hunched over and afraid as he moved baby step-by-baby step to proceed further around the rink. You couldn’t help but giggle as the man who possessed the prowess of an elegant panther on stage adopted the likes of a stumbling newborn giraffe within the span of five minutes.

You were still concerned for him despite how funny it was. Tentatively, you reached your hand to grip his shoulder and urged him to look at you.

“Tae, are you okay? We can do something else if you’d like.”

“No, it’s okay.” He wheezed in effort. “I got this.”

Making a show out of how brave he was, Taehyung stood up straight on shaky legs and began progressing forward by attempting to walk on the ice.

“I can show you how t-” Taehyung cut off your offer before you could finish it.

“I’ve been shown countless times how to skate and the best I can do is walk and maybe slide forward a little. I’m a lost cause, Y/N.” Even though he seemed upset, Taehyung couldn’t help but crack a smile at how clumsy he was.

You smiled pitifully at your clumsy friend before you stepped in front of him. “Here, hold onto my shoulders and we’ll slide forward together.”

All Taehyung could do was begrudgingly agree, hating the idea of having to lean on you for support but wanting to remain close to you for the majority of the night. Once he placed his hands tightly on your shoulders, you moved.

At first, you skated slowly so that Taehyung could adjust to the feeling of being pulled forward. Once he got the hang of keeping his legs locked so that you could move around easier, you skated at a normal speed.

After about ten minutes of joking around and catching Taehyung’s slipping form a handful of times, your mind was left free and without defense.

You hadn’t realized how vulnerable you were because of it.

“Y/N, slow down! I can’t go that fast!”

Your breathing came to a halt at the voice that echoed in your ears.

“Here, hold my hand and we’ll skate together.”

Panicking, you rushed your mind to shut it out. No. Stop.

Unknowingly, the chaos in your mind and the desperate need to get away from the memories had you gradually increasing your own speed to subconsciously escape your thoughts.

Taehyung’s nervous laugh and call of your name in warning fell on deaf ears while you furrowed your eyebrows in concentration.

“See? It’s easy. Just step and lean. Step- and lean.” His hand clutched yours as if he was trying to squeeze all of the blood from your fingers but you only squeezed back in reassurance.

“Don’t let me fall, please.”

Taehyung’s skate crashing into the back of yours served as the perfect distraction, yet it only lasted for a split second as the two fo you went tumbling to the ice in a hauntingly familiar manner.

In the process of falling, Taehyung had managed to wrap his arms around your waist and twist his body so that he could take most of the impact from the ice. Landing on top of him with an ‘oof’ reminded you of the last time you went ice skating.

Even with your face mere centimeters from your friend’s, all you saw was him.

Taehyung’s small puffs of air against your lips were an indicator of how close you were to kissing him. Truly, you could kiss him if you wanted to, needing only to relax your neck and let your head fall to close the rest of the minimal gap between you. He looked up at you with wide eyes, holding onto your gaze with an unreadable expression on his face.

All you saw, however, was a small mole dotting the underside of his lips. Fuck, you wanted to kiss Taehyung and rid yourself of the nightmare, but you couldn’t shake the sensation of how wrong it felt to kiss anyone but Jungkook.

“Y/N,” Taehyung called your name cautiously and pulled you from your thoughts. Instantly, your eyes welled with tears at the realization of how fucked you were.

You yanked yourself from him with abandon, needing to get far away from the reminder that you couldn’t move on.

Kim Taehyung was mature. He was kind and respectful- everything you could ask for in a man- yet the thoughts of Jungkook and the good memories you had with him outweighed the bad, preventing you from truly letting go.

Before Taehyung could protest, you stood and left him on the ice, making for a quick exit. You wanted to go back and help him up so that he wasn’t in danger, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at his face in this setting.

Instead, you skated off the rink and walked to the skate rental area, plopping down on the bench weakly to untie the laces. Once you did so, you set them on the counter and waited for your boots with your eyes on the ground. You didn’t want anyone to see you on the brink of crying.

“Y/N!” Taehyung’s voice was loud and attention-grabbing. You had half the mind to be concerned that he would cause people to notice him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you finally got your boots and rushed to put them on. Taehyung was finally off the ice when you slid the first boot on.

“Y/N,” He called your name again, awkwardly approaching you with the blades still on his feet. “Please, talk to me.”

You could only sniffle in response and continue to put your boots back on, a fresh wave of tears welling in your eyes and threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You’d kept them at bay thus far but Taehyung was making it extremely difficult as his comfort approached you. The welcome yet heartbreaking aura he exhumed paired with your teetering emotional stability wouldn’t fare well in such a public setting.

Without hesitation, you stood and walked away once you were done securing your shoes back on your feet. Again, you felt the urgent need to be alone.

And again, Taehyung was right behind you as he ran without putting his shoes back on.

“Y/N!” He grabbed you as he called your name more sternly, forcing you to face him. Your eyes met his briefly before you looked back down to the pavement and cursed yourself once a tear slipped out. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because I-” Your breath caught in your throat as it constricted due to the beginning of a sob building in your chest. You cleared your throat and struggled to breathe your way through your response- one you had trouble communicating. “-I just can’t.”

Taehyung grimaced, looking around with concern, before he ushered your body to begin walking away from the busy area.

Once you were a good distance down the street, he grabbed both of your shoulders and forced you to face him once again. Away from the well-lit area of the ice rink, the only light that shone in the middle of the dark night was that of the street lights. With bated breath, you looked up at your friend with your mouth closed tightly so that the sob in your chest wouldn’t come barging past your lips.

The pain was nearly unbearable. It anguished you, knowing that you were stupid enough to think that you could eventually move on from Jungkook. It pained you, being aware of the fact that Taehyung had offered himself to you and you did nothing but continue to look at Jungkook.

But most of all, it hurt that you still wanted Jungkook.

If only you could reach into your chest and tear your heart out so that you couldn’t feel anymore. If only you could shut off your feelings so that it didn’t agonize you like this. If only it were that easy.

Under the light of the street lamps with Taehyung’s look of pity- the one he held as he looked at you across the club on that dreadful night those few years ago- on you, you broke.

As you began sobbing, Taehyung pulled you against his body and backed up into the darkness to give you the privacy to cry without being seen.

The pain stabbed your heart repeatedly; quick blows, shallow at first, became increasingly deep as you drowned in the memories of what once was.

Falling so passionately in love became your biggest regret. For so long, you hated the idea. You hated the fact that you still loved Jungkook notwithstanding the things he had done. You denied the fact until you started seeing the good memories again- until it was an unavoidable and objective truth.

The truth that you still loved him.

As Taehyung held you tightly in his embrace while you held your hands to your face and dug your nails into your skin, you sobbed uncontrollably at how completely and royally fucked you were.

“W-why-” You blubbered into your palms. “-why do I-I still lo-ove him?”

“Because your heart wants what it wants, Y/N. You have no control over that.”

At this point, you had to tell him how you felt- how you truly felt.

“I w-wish that it wa-anted you. I’m so sorry, T-Tae.”

“Hey, now. Don’t say that. It’s a waste of time to wish for things that you have no control over. Don’t waste a wish on something stupid like that.” Taehyung pressed his face to the top of your head, pressing his lips there to leave a small kiss. “Besides, I have someone waiting for me back home so you don’t need to worry anymore.”

Instantly, you looked up at him in shock while still hiccuping. “You do?”

“Of course.” Taehyung laughed warmly, smiling down at you. “I wasn’t gonna be stuck on you forever. One way or another, you move on.”

“It’s been years since I’ve even seen him, Tae. The fact that I still haven’t moved on despite that has to tell you something.”

“Which is why I told you that you still need to talk to him. You can’t move on or do anything about the way you feel unless you communicate it.” He pulled back to bend his body to become eye-level with you so that he could look you in the eyes as he spoke. “There’s things you don’t know.”

For a moment, you weighed his words in your mind. If they’re things that Taehyung can’t tell you because they’re ‘not his place’ to say, then you figure that the matter must be a serious one. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. It wasn’t long before you gave in.

“Yeah…” You trailed off in hesitation, suddenly regretting shutting out Jungkook. “I guess I do need to talk to him.”

“Please just… take your time and be patient with him.” Taehyung winced slightly. “He’s hot-headed but he’s a lot better than he was before. I promise you that.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Taehyung.” You scowled as you backed out of his embrace.

“You know I don’t. I would never suggest that you talk to him if he was the same as he was before.”

A few beats of silence passed before you asked the question that had been nagging at your mind since your revelation of remaining love for the lead singer of BTS.

“Do you think we still have a chance?”

Taehyung answered immediately. “That’s not my place to judge. All I know is that you guys did something sad like being broke up even though you had life.”

“Good god, Tae,” You huffed out a laugh. “Are you quoting Lil Dicky right now?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Taehyung crossed his arms and let out a small ‘hmph’ as he lightly stomped his foot onto the sidewalk. “And you can’t stop me.”

For a while, Taehyung let you catch your breath and calm down while looking up and down the street. It seemed as if he was planning something.

Before you could process what he was doing, Taehyung took you by your arm, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, and began walking across the street. You looked up in the direction of your path and noticed that you were heading towards the quaint coffee shop that seemed to be the only open place at the current hour.

Your eyes hurt from crying. Your chest ached from sobbing and hiccuping. Your heart and head hurt as they came to blows with each other. You were slowly beginning to freeze as the calming of your emotions slowed your heart and cooled your body. It was so fucking cold.

You could use a coffee right about now.

~#~

Thank you for reading, reader! If you’d like to check out the rest of my work, feel free to visit my Masterlist!

[hargrove-mayfields]

Harringrove April Day 30- Lily of the valley

There are very few things Billy actually remembers about his mother.

That can be pretty hard for him to swallow at times, the fact that he lost so much of his childhood to trauma, his mind blocking out even the good memories because of his father.

He still remembers the way she smelled when she held him, but he didn’t know the name of the scent she wore, and he remembers the sound of her voice, though he had long ago come to terms with the fact that he’d never hear it again, but the one thing he remembers so clearly about his mother is the lily of the valley tattoo on her forearm.

Neil had hated it from the day she got it, always making her cover it up with bracelets and long sleeves and makeup, but as a kid, Billy was fascinated by it. He would trace over it with his little fingers, the tiny flowers tattooed dark on his mother’s arm, connecting the dots between moles and freckles and petals.

One thing he doesn’t quite remember though, is the way she had cried when he asked if this mark hurt when he touched it like the ones his daddy left on her.

Neil seem to remember it just as well, deliberately mowing over valley lilies when they sprouted or spraying them with weed killer, so one day Billy decides, fuck it, he’s tired of seeing the one thing that truly reminds him of his mother get destroyed.

On his eighteenth birthday, Billy gets the same tattoo.

His is on his shoulder instead, in his head he thought it would look a little tougher there, at least as tough as a flower tattoo his hippie mom used to sport could. Of course, Neil is just as angry with him as he was the first time when his girlfriend came home with the same thing, probably even more so now that it was his son.

The bandage is only off for like, a week before Neil’s punishment comes, which, Billy guesses he should be at least a little grateful that he waited for all the bleeding and peeling to be over before he kicked his ass.

His dad’s not the only one that has a problem with it though, the first time Billy shows up at work without it covered, Billy gets lots of comments and sneers behind his back, all sorts of people who don’t know him saying they thought he was soft, feminine, a huge fucking pansy.

He didn’t think he should have to justify it to them, he lost his mother, he’s damn well allowed to get something on his body to commemorate her if he pleases, but it’s hard not to get a little defensive about it. He almost regrets it, not thinking it through more before he got these delicate flowers emblazoned on his skin, but that’s very much an almost.

Because one night he stands in front of his mirror and traces over the stems, the delicate petals, connecting them to the light freckles around it, blood that soap wouldn't quite reach still dried under his fingernails from the number Neil did on him earlier, and he cries like a damn baby, but he lets go of all that other stuff.

He got it for her , for his momma wherever she was still waiting for him, maybe still looking for him even, not for all of those assholes, and not to prove anything about himself.

So he wears it with pride, he tears the damn sleeves off of his shirts and wears jeans instead of a jacket if it’s a cooler day, and the comments stop coming, because it’s not as fun to say shit that doesn’t get a reaction anymore.

But the rumors don’t stop, and everyone knows as they spread, they change, and suddenly instead of Billy Hargrove being a pussy bitch, the mills churning out nastier shit, like Billy Hargrove’s a faggot, and it’s not safe to have him at the public pool.

There’s a long battle between him and Heather and the managers, and the pool begrudgingly lets him stay, but it’s not without lots of rules. He’d almost rather quit, with how short a leash he’s kept on, but he needs that job if he doesn’t want kicked out.

That’s what he’s complaining about to Steve one day over a smoke, sitting in the back room of the Harrington’s with the sliding door cracked so the smoke could drift out, not that Mr. and Mrs. Harrington would be home anytime soon to notice it.

Steve’s the first person other than Neil to know it was for his momma, and the look he gives him, the sadness and concern in those big brown eyes, it’s enough to make him want to laser that damned tattoo off himself.

He’ll blame the weed for what he does next, lacing his fingers through Steve’s before he can start the pity party, but he hopes Steve doesn’t do the same when he makes the choice to lean over and kiss Billy, delicate fingers barely gracing the dark ink on his shoulder, the others getting lost in tangles of blond hair.

It helps him feel not so bad about the whole thing, getting that burden off his chest, and the kiss with Steve didn’t hurt either, but the next day it’s back to the same old thing at work.

After another week or so though, he notices the gossip has changed, and this time they’re saying Steve’s name instead of his. Steve Harrington’s the pansy faggot now, and Billy has to pretend until he can get out of that chair that he isn’t terrified for the both of them.

He goes straight to Steve’s house after work, tells him as soon as he finds him, “I swear I didn’t tell anybody , I don’t know how it got out.”

And Steve doesn’t look panicked at all, but rather he gives this little smug smile at Billy and says, “I do.” calmly enough that Billy can actually feel his heart shatter, even worse than it had when he woke to find his mother’s car missing.

Steve doesn’t let Billy stew in that heartbreak too long though before he clarifies, “I didn’t want you to have to deal with all that bullshit alone, so I got this.” He holds his wrist out, and shows Billy that he has his own tattoo now too; a sunflower in the same style as Billy’s, thick black outlines with no color.

“I figure, once the initial drama blows over, now that there’s two of us, they won’t be able to say as much.” Steve explains further, looking hopefully at Billy’s face

“Maybe. But until then, you could be in danger, and you’re going to be in even bigger trouble. Seriously, what’s John gonna say?” Billy scolds, panicking on Steve’s behalf whether or not it was necessary.

“And what did Neil say?” Steve argues back, but he knows that’s not productive, so he switches to trying to be comforting instead, “Look Billy, I wanted to do this. For you and for me.”

“It was stupid of you.” Billy says under his breath, taking up Steve’s pale wrist in both of his hands, gently brushing his thumb over the just healed barely healed tattoo, “Sunflowers were your aunts favorites too, weren’t they?”

“Mhm, and I don’t regret it, Billy. I love you too much.” Steve says, the first time he had ever said those three words.

Billy smiles and bends down, bringing his lips to that little monochrome image, and mumbles against soft skin, “Love you too, sunflower.”

[qblester]

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44

-he loves shitty phone games and will spend 100′s on gacha pulls, he always gets bored of them within like, the week though. -he has several tattoos! his barcode/identifying tattoo on his back(going straight down the middle ontop of the spine, krissa has a similar one) but he also has a few stick and pokes. A blue house on his ankle, and in red on his lower stomach “this is not for you” (a quote from house of leaves)((he was very intoxicated at the time and deeply regrets this tattoo)) He has one helix cuff piercing he got with krissa. -he doesnt really decorate his belongings ever, most of his stuff is black, in black cases, and has no identifying marks. -if you run your fingers through his hair you’ll feel several odd scars on his scalp, from various fights with his sister and otherwise. the other FORTY! answers below the cut

-he loves to drive, and has a nice newer car, something very safe like a honda. Krissa has put stickers on the back window despite his protests. Despite this he usually rides with krissa in her car, which is something ridiculous, with the big wheels and lift and a different color wrap on the thing every month or two -he is a freak and doesnt care about what pens he uses. he just steals whatever pens he finds around the office or on the ground -in a non-gilhue/normal au he ends up being a medical illustrator with a service dog :) -he refuses to have a favorite animal because it feels mean -similarly he hates stupid pet names, like when people name their cats “concrete” or anything similar. -he is a serial cheater, anytime he gets into any sort of relationship he usually cheats within the week. its not out of malice he just likes attention and has problems -CANNOT RIDE A BIKE! cannot figure it out! lacks the balance for it -used to bite his nails to the point of them bleeding as a child -he pretends to hate krissa’s parties more than he actually does (for context krissa will throw huge parties for money inside of penthouses or mansions that are “currently unoccupied” she holds these for friends of hers that are looking to play music, do raves, ect ect) when he’s given time beforehand to prepare for them he does enjoy the loud bass and drugs. -i havent brought up my favorite fact of all time in a while so i will mention it here; he lost his virginity WHILE his dad was dying. he got the text and ignored it. -inside his office is a small lockbox where he puts jewelry he finds on the people he vivisects. He has no idea why he keeps it, or what he’s going to do with it, it makes him feel bad to think about though. -twice a year he has to go through a weapons test wherein he gets in the whole hunter getup and has to do some basic maneuvers with krissa. its a huge pain in the ass but quite fun honestly. like playing laser tag -he and krissa have custom lego minifigures of eachother on their keychains -he has an atleast 20 minute phone call with his mother every day -every month he has to meet with Dr.Witting to ensure he is of “Strong mental standing” which basically means they just want to make sure he is not suicidal or homicidal -he is soooooooooooo afraid of the dark. its ridiculous. he has no other real like strong fears in that same vein besides like, you know vampires and such which is a given -he doesnt shower normally, he puts the water on really hot and then takes a nap on the floor of the shower until the water gets cold enough to wake him up, wherein he then actually showers in the cold. -has never really enjoyed reading to be honest, but he loves audiobooks -FUCKING LOVES DDR SO MUCH!!!!!!ITS RIDICULOUS -ive made 40 hours of playlists for him -he gets freckles if out in the sun, but alas doesnt hang out in the sun so we all miss out on this -instead of getting new glasses every few years he just gets the lenses replaced -has the worlds strongest praise kink. it is absurd. -to add onto the above he DOES cry after or during sex every single time. -favorite fruit is apple slices with peanut butter. will not eat apples otherwise -favorite candy is those wierd flat suckers you get from the bank -used to vape using a juul but when those got banned he started vaping from this chunky rig, he has years worth of fruity ass juice for it already stockpiled -his hair is pin straight but very thick and full of cowlicks, he’ll wake up with it full on anime boy sticking up usually -if he had the time or space he would 100% be constantly fostering kittens, like the really small neonates and the ones that need to be bottlefed especially -he has alerts on for ebay to tell him when people post new calico critter hauls, he’s always looking for pieces that he’s missing and will buy a 100+ dollar haul to get one piece of furniture he’s missing -him and krissa grew up in a strange victorian home in rural michigan, as part of an effort to keep them away from “mitigating and changing factors of development” it was very shining-like. -him and krissa starting sleeping in the same bed consistently around age 7 -his favorite dessert is lemon bars :) -can do complex math in his head and has pretty much always been able to -has some small level of synesthesia -was not allowed cable until they moved to california, so he and krissa spent their childhood watching selected vhs tapes and cds -loves going to the zoo so much. will spent hours upon hours just wandering around and looking at the animals. one time inside an aviary a bird landed on his arm and its one of his favorite memories -when both him and krissa are comfortable theyre pretty much always physically touching eachother, leaning against eachother, sitting close to eachother, ect -knows a surprising amount about setting up amps and various concert stuff since he’s helped krissa and her friends with this sort of thing semi-frequently -despite the constant fighting he is on ok terms with a few members of the occultics dept, not friendly but they will talk to eachother if theyre on a smoke break at the same time -Dr.Witting used to be almost a surrogate mother figure? his relationship with her is odd because shes a mother/boss/therapist/ect. -he will get drunk and start talking to whoever he can corner about random topics, he will pull up wikipedia and start basically reading the articles to them

[chimchimsauce]

XS (VI - Lamb)

“Give me just a little bit MORE”

Being the son of the largest gang in the country, Kim Taehyung might as well be a prince. He is more powerful than any one man should be and is not afraid to get rid of anything - or anyone that gets in his way.

So when a man is unable to pay back the gigantic loan he owes Taehyung, the heir is all too happy to take his life. Moments away from pulling the trigger, a girl more beautiful than he’s ever seen bursts in and offers her life for her father’s. Taehyung knows right away that he wants her.

And Taehyung gets everything he wants.

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

YN tries to stop herself from shaking as she walks herself down the aisle, gripping her bouquet so tightly that the rose's thorns cut into her palm. She doesn't notice any of the no doubtedly opulent decorations, her eyes zeroed in on Taehyung. She hears that this happens to brides quite often, but she imagines that their focus is caused by love and excitement. YN is laser-focused on her to-be husband, absolutely terrified.

The finality of this has her weak in her knees. Marriage is something that seems so final. Something that will permanently tie her to this monster. YN wishes that a hole would open up and swallow her, or that someone would throw a bomb in here that would allow her to escape. Marrying Taehyung is the worst thing that could ever happen to her.

While YN is having an internal meltdown, Taehyung looks as relaxed as ever, his hands buried deep in his slacks and a stupid smile decorating his features. He looks like a wolf watching a lamb walk itself right into his grasp, waltzing into his open jaws none the wiser. Taehyung feels very proud of himself at the moment, All of his eggs are aligned perfectly in a steel basket, unable to be broken or stolen away. The Church doors are wide open but YN doesn't even look back at them, doesn't even try and escape, no doubt thinking about her parents. Honestly, the mobster had been hoping that YN would bolt if for no other reason than the joy of chasing her down. He imagined the terrified look on her face as he'd catch her, tackling her to the hard ground and pinning her under his body, his nails digging into her skin as she pleads for him to let her go, begging him, promising to do anything he asked of her . . .

He's getting hard just thinking about it.

Taehyung supposes that he can live his fantasy out well enough in the bedroom when they get back to the mansion. He already knows what she's wearing under than half a million dollar wedding dress. He's picked it out himself - white lace, sweet, cute, and soft. So very easy to rip to shreds.

Taehyung's grin only grows wider when YN finally joins him at the alter, trying her very hardest to look unafraid. She isn't fooling anyone. He sees the way the flowers in her bouquet shake.

"You look ravishing, darling," Taehyung says, watching her startle.

"Thank you," she says quietly lifting her gaze ever so slightly to satisfy his desire for eye contact and trying her best not to piss him off.

"I bet you'll look even better when you don't have so much fabric to hide under," Taehyung says.

YN pales. In all her terror, she hadn't really stopped to think about what would come after the wedding.

Taehyung lifts the sheer veil that hides her face.

"That's better," he says, smiling when he sees the look on her face, "What are you thinking about, spitfire? Was there something naughty going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

YN has never hated Taehyung more. He's a cocky son of a bitch and YN wishes she could snap back at him without putting her parents in danger.

"There will be plenty of time for that later," he says, giving his full attention to the stoic priest that stands just a few feet away from them.

YN spends the entirety of the service zoning out and praying for a miracle. Surely Taehyung and his family have enemies. Wouldn't a wedding be the perfect even to ruin?

But no one barges inside of the church, guns blazing and fury in their eyes.

"Do you, Taehyung, take YN to be your lawfully wedded life, for better or for worse, through sickness and health, as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Taehyung says, not missing a single beat.

"And do you, YN, take Taehyung to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or for worse, through sickness and health, as long as you both shall live?"

Taehyung squeezes YN's hands tightly when she doesn't answer right away, causing her to wince. The pain is worse than usual due to the small cuts littering her palms.

"I do," she says, refusing to look away from Taehyung.

She wants to remember this moment for the rest of her life. She wants to remember the pain, the fear, the repulsion she feels right now. Taehyung doesn't seem to mind, slipping a ring with a diamond so heavy she can feel the change in weight onto her finger.

"You may kiss the bride," the priest says.

Taehyung pulls her to him immediately, squeezing her face so tightly that she has no chance but to pucker her lips, pulling her body flush to his. The shock of it all causes YN to drop her bouquet and push at Taehyung, moving to rip him away from her. All she ends up doing is grasping his shoulder, fingers wrinkling his expensive suit beyond repair.

She can't breathe. Taehyung kisses her like he's starving, all lips and teeth and pain. He clamps down on her bottom lip, drawing blood, and YN cries out in pain. It's only then that he releases her, applause ringing through the small church.

YN's eyes swim with tears but Taehyung looks completely blissed out, his eyes hazy. He isn't all the way there with her. YN wants so desperately to cry, but Taehyung has a grasp on her hand that reminds her of where she is. She takes a deep breath and pulls on her best smile as Taehyung guides her back down the aisle, his arm around her waist. She'd been so focused on Taehyung that she completely failed to see all of the people who filled the pews.

They are all dressed to the nines, wearing expensive suits and dresses. Upon closer look, YN notices that many of them are littered with scars and covered in gang affiliated tattoos. She doesn't see any weapons but it would be all too easy to hide them in designer coats and handbags. YN swallows thickly, wondering who these people are and why they were invited. As they near the end of the aisle, YN finally sees faces she recognizes.

Her blood runs cold when she sees her parents dressed in their best clothes, their eyes wide with tears. YN's mother is openly sobbing but her father looks at YN as if she's a dead woman walking, guilt and fear swirling around his eyes.

It hasn't even been two days since YN say them last - since she barged into the kitchen and saw them bound and gagged and traded her life for theirs. She's incredibly relieved to see them, but she also wishes she never had, not at a place like this. Taehyung, however, is incredibly thrilled, winking at her parents and having the balls to stop and speak to them.

"Mother, Father, I'm so glad you could make it," Taehyung addresses her parents, his words dripping saccharine.

YN's father levels Taehyung with a glare that tells him exactly what he thinks of him.

YN doesn't react at all, silently praying that neither man does something to start a fight.

"Make sure you stick around for the reception," Taehyung says simply, taking YN and pulling her along.

YN peeks over her shoulder, mouthing three words to them before the church doors slam shut behind them.

YN is alone with Taehyung. She pretends that the walls of the church are incredibly interesting, pretending to not feel Tae's eyes on her figure.

"YN," he says, demanding her attention.

She nervously looks at him.

"Yes, Taehyung?"

Her husband moves to grasp her hand gently, not causing her pain for once. He turns her hand over, inspecting her small cuts.

"I should have gotten roses without thorns," he says, looking up at her suddenly.

YN holds her breath, trapped in his wild gaze.

"The only thing that deserves to hurt you is me."

Chapter Seven

Tag List

@naajix @nomimits7​ @dorerenjun @veronawrites @nervouskiwi @tatastaetae @naaji @sunshinechim-98 @hopefilledtrash @heystobitbeach @queensavage1245 @kofikats @lilacdreams-00

[beyoncesdragon]

A stretch mark called Aphrodite | pjm

→Pairing: : Jimin x Reader

→Summary: Jimin just really loves all of your body

→Warnings: major fluff! So no?

→Wordcount: 1k 

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the one that has irrevocably yeeted my standards to the moon and back! Happy happy birthday, wow I can’t believe he’s turning 25 already. I am so proud of you Jimin-ssi. So proud and so thankful for being able to have you in my life. You truly are one in a million and I hope that everyone has the chance to find someone that helps to heal their soul like you are healing mine. Thank you for showing me that I wasn’t as happy as I pretended to be – and thank you for inspiring me to finally change that. I owe you and I hope that one day, you can love yourself just as much as I love you. 

Masterlist |  BTS Masterlist 

They never really bothered you. At least they didn’t until someone pointed them out to you and said something along the lines of; you do know that they stay forever?

A sentence designed to make you feel insecure or unsure of yourself, really. Somehow like elder people remarking on tattoos, expressing their dislike of inked art on skin, but in a more subtle way. Now, of course, stretchmarks weren’t tattoos. Yet they did mark your skin, some more subtle than others. Like a net of tiny branches, shallow lines branched out like riverways across your upper tight, over your hip and on the insides of your thighs. Permanently etched into your skin, or rather sitting beneath it, within it, one with your skin. Almost lost in thought you brushed over them with your thumb, feeling the light bump wherever one was scarred thicker than the rest. You hadn’t even really noticed the frown that had formed on your face until you looked up and were met by the dissatisfied eyes of your own reflection in the mirror.

“What is it?” you looked to your side in surprise, having expected Jimin to still be asleep under the covers right next to you. “Hm? Oh I was just looking.” He hummed lowly, leaning into your direction before looking up at you. “Looking at what?” his voice was still so groggy from sleep and his Busan satoori stained his words heavily. “At my body, I guess?” He chuckled softly, scooting closer before wrapping his arms round your waist, so he could rest his head on your thighs. “Beautiful…” he hummed sleepily and you couldn’t help but smile a little. He rose his head and looked at you questioningly, waiting for you to agree with him. You silence must have given you away. “Don’t you agree, jagi?” your hand found its way into his hair, softly stroking through the white bleached mess of curls. “Yeah…just, well, I’ve got a few more stretchmarks, despite my efforts not to gain weight anymore. I’ve seen an ad for some cream to remove them but…” you never came to finish that sentence since Jimin sat up immediately. “What?” you shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable under his piercing stare.

“Remove stretchmarks. Though I heard that it doesn’t really work if they are already fully scarred, like one or two years old. And some claim it doesn’t work at all…” you continued slowly. He just shook his head.

“What do you mean, remove them? And are you eating enough, jagiya?” his overly concerned frown made you giggle a bit before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Yes, Jimin, I am eating enough. And what could I possibly mean by “a cream to remove them”? Got any ideas there, my baby mega mind?” he gasped in fake offence before pressing a kiss to your marked skin, right where your leg connected to the torso. “How dare you wanting to remove Becky!” he huffed out, pouting his lips at your skin, shaking his head. “Who the hell is Becky?” you asked confused, looking down at the spot where Jimin had fixed his eyes on. “That is her.” Jimin grinned softly, tapping against a pretty stretchmark with his index finger. “You are not naming my stretchmark Becky.” You called out, ignoring his big pout. “Why not? This is Chin-Sun, Gracie, Eun, Haneul and her sister Hyo-Sonn, Jennie, Rose, Kara, Jin, Kyung, Min-Ok, Fiola, Cleopatra…” he started, pressing a kiss against the chosen marks after each name.

“So many names…but not Becky. Becky just reminds me of the song by Beyoncé…Becky with the good hair? I don’t want to carry Beyoncé’s wrath on my hip.” Jimin only chuckled. “Whatever you say, jagi. Though I have no idea what song you are talking about, I see your point. You need to show me that song in this case.” You nodded quickly, a small smile appearing on your lips. “Alright. I will then call her...Aphrodite.” Jimin suddenly announced and you couldn’t help but laugh. “Aphrodite?” you giggled, cupping his cheeks with your hand. “Yes. Exactly that.” He replied with an amused wink before pressing another kiss to your soft skin. “This one I call....Myung. look how fair she is.” You hummed softly, stroking his hair again. “If you say so…” he nodded absentmindedly, tracing the lines with his finger now.

“You got more? This is fun.” He asked, an innocent lilt to his voice. Yet it still startled you and you stopped petting his head and looked down at him in slight confusion. “Have I got mo- Park Jimin, do you even know what you are saying?” at that he looked up with slightly batted eyes, peaking through his lashed up at you. “I do. I love them.” He simply explained, sounding incredible calm and sincere. You still couldn’t help yourself to ask in slight disbelief

“Really? You know I could try laser remo-“ he cut you off before you could finish the first part of your sentence, “They're like artwork on your body. Like little drawings, stories that you have collected throughout your life. Just because you can’t always read them, doesn’t mean no one can. They are unique, they make your body seem like you, make you look like you are living a life, going through changes and transformations whilst doing so. They should be admired and studied like those ridiculously expensive paintings you told me about. The ones they hang in the loafer…”

“Louvre…”

“Exactly that. So yes, I love them. And you should too, jagiya, and if I have to name and worship them every morning until you believe me!” You had teared up at his words and wordlessly intertwined your fingers with his. Jimin was still looking up at you, his eyes full of warmth and adoration. His thumb carefully traced random shapes over your hip and his warm breath tickled your skin.

“So. You got more?”

“I mean…on the insides of my thighs…” Jimin snapped up at that, a small smirk suddenly toying with the corners of his lips. “Oh really?” you couldn’t help but laugh at the way his eyes had already grown a bit darker, pupils starting to blow.

“We’ll save that up for another day, shall we.” His face dropped instantly. “No! We shall not!” And who were you to say no to him.

--- ✩ thank u for reading ✩ --- 

[cloveroctobers]

• JENIFER “JEN” MARLOWE •

IG Info/bio: @/justjenw1n | 220k followers | Fashion | just a LUVer who owns a lovely blog that you’re more than welcome to check out here... astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk 🪞🛍🪄

22 (24) (25 in 2021) years of age

From London, England

Her family has French origins

Tends to visit once a year mainly with her family

For her 18th bday, her parents also sent her to Paris with her bf that she’s been dating since she was 14

they broke up since he wanted to stay in Paris to pursue his dreams and she felt like she needed to be back home...which she felt Paris was not

Extremely close to her parents, some may say a little TOO close...

See, I feel like jen comes from a family that spoils her where her parents did everything and took care of everything for her. She had the privilege and didn’t have to work too hard to get things she wanted so that made her a little bit different than a few of her friends, hell—even her bf

Didn’t have to work until she reached her twenties

She also didn’t have too many friends because her parents felt like her cousins and/or her sibs were really only allowed to hold that title

However her parents had some sort of a soft spot for her when they allowed her to date her bf at 14 since he came from a nice background...

And to have at least 1-2 best friends...

I can’t decide if I see her having 3 other sibs with her being the second eldest, or her being the eldest with a younger sister? I can also see her being a only child too? Idk y’all can decide

Because her family is a tight knit one, she values everything they say and do...which is canon/evident

She got her thigh tattoo in Paris and even thought about asking her parents permission but her bf talked her out of it

she later showed them that night while he was in the shower. Her mother openly disapproved saying it was, “unladylike or unclean” while her father was more lenient towards it 

Her mother even scheduled her for laser appointments but this was one of the things jen was sure of, she loved her tattoo and she didn’t want to erase it from her body which led to her mother not speaking to her for about a month—even tho they live in the same household

I feel like she looks more like her dad with her mom’s hair and smile

Got into fashion due to her maternal grandmother who seemed to live a extravagant life as a old time actress, she always had and owned the finest of things

Jen loved having sleepovers there, it felt like she had her own personal Liz Taylor inside of her nan...but better!

Definitely found inspiration through Liz Taylor, Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, and Naomi Campbell

she had no clue what she wanted to do in life (she never had to think too hard about it until now, it’s true what they say about your twenties) and she made the choice not to continue thru with uni & I’m not going to make her out to be the stereotypical “dumb blonde” I think she did well in school—so she kinda just chilled after it was all over

Her first job at 20 was probably working in retail where she learned all about the bs you put up with but she loved clothes! That never changed

So she decided 6 months into her job that she was going to make a fashion blog

she made one separate from her tumblr but kept it under construction since she needed to brain storm what exactly this blog would entail

It didn’t take too long to her to figure it out by how she wanted the blog to look then discussing pieces from celebs/models then slowly discussing her own wardrobe + advice

She didn’t immediately gain success for it —altho she did have a good 1k people follow her thru her tumblr where she also provided the link to her separate blog... but she worked/works hard at it, hoping one day it’ll get her somewhere and that maybe she can get paid for it too?

Retail fucking sucks and people are horrible twats so when she was approaching 21 she deff quit with her parents still hammering...more so her dad on what she needs to do with her life but she found happiness in her blog and no one was going to take that away from her —not even her parents

‘What’s the use of working if it doesn’t make you happy?’ She thinks but again! she has the privilege of living under her parents roof and not having to pay bills so she didn’t have to worry too much rn she knows they’d never kick her out right?

she has two bunnies named “bugsy” and “Lola”—u know the reference right?

I feel like she values the flinstones & jetsons because it was something her dad loved watching as a kid and still does , probably has the dvds showcased in her room that she watches when she feels sad

Seems like a smiley person but when she’s sad? It kinda sucks to see cause she turns into a whole different person and she always seems happy with a smile so wide that turns her eyes squinty

If she disagrees with something, she’s 100% giving her opinion whether you like it or not? Wrong is wrong. But when the shoe is on the other foot? She hates being wrong LOL or doesn’t view herself being wrong. Doesn’t take accountability well...at all!

She’s also showed her ass by being a gossiper and fake as hell with Allegra about mc with the whole, “let’s pretend like we’re there for her” if you’re not fucking with somebody just say that or SHOW it sis cause that snakey shit will come back to bite you in the ass (I forgot about this lol as I’m replaying)

she’s all “mega resting bitch face” until she breaks out into a large smile

Libra sun? + Virgo moon? + Gemini rising?

I feel like she only knows what she wants when it comes to relationships but not with the rest of life?

Lol she was very determined with levi in the beginning, explored shit with jake, (I can’t remember if that was after you/mc showed a interest in him or not in that route? I’m doing a talia/Rohan route rn But that’s kinda foul if she’s smiling in ur face and then boom goes and does what she wants but hey that’s the game right? Fck that tho) and then stood by Tim after only some time?

She wasn’t feeling him in the beginning either cause he thought she was too posh for him and snakey which he’s right to some degree but she’s also right if she finds him too immature for her liking

To you jim? Ten? Stans— Idk what their ship name is but it probably wouldn’t have worked out in the long run either because I don’t see both of them wanting to change themselves completely to satisfy the other. (Tim tried) Sure if you’re showing unhealthy behaviors and are open to diminishing that for yourself then trying to work on your relationship then that’s great! But they already started from the jump not liking each other’s personalities/characteristics....

And hey! Ofc I know people grow to like things they might have disliked about you in the beginning but you can also find yourself not fully accepting it in a relationship and that doesn’t mean you didn’t try

+ it’s been hinted at that they’re not endgame & if you love yourself some Tim not platonically then this works in ur favor. if not? Then you can keep them endgame by all means! For me? That endgame shit is a no! For those that don’t gaf about either of them that’s fine too lmao

YES I feel like they were both hurt over the breakup and it probably happened right around the holidays or either a couple of months after Christmas/New Years 2019

Jen is probably the type to keep checking up on her ex, not necessarily talking to them but finding out who they’re with now

and if it’s Tim with mc she’s definitely gossiping about the shit with erikah and Allegra or making shady tweets or posts on IG for sure

“5 outfits to wear when you run into your ex” type posts on her blog looool

She hopes if she runs into Tim, she’s looking her best and she would 80% go up to him & mc/his new girl if not mc and be all huggy with him and holding conversation before she even thinks to acknowledge mc/new girl and when she does it’s a shady convo with fake smiles

Absolutely loves watching housewives so she was prepared for that moment if it ever does come

Her parents openly didn’t like Tim which made him feel like shit since it seemed like jen never defended him in front of them but again, she values her parents opinion and always wants their stamp of approval that’s just the way the girl is/ was brought up

She owes them everything but deep down knows that in her relationship with Tim she could have been a little more understanding of his needs like he was with her love for her parents...but she’ll never admit that

Doesn’t get over breakups as easily as it may seem like her exes do in her opinion.

It sure didn’t take long with Tim to date mc/new girl months after they broke up! Which was like a slap in the face

The ex bf she spent time w in Paris who looks like Matthew Noszka is now engaged, lives in AMERICA—& of all places??? California to be exact, and just released his debut album!! She knows which songs are probably about her, it’s a nice album she screamed about it for hours into her pillow and cried for what felt like weeks

Lost her voice over that breakdown too

Her mother even went as far as sending a nasty letter to this ex bf’s new address...since ya know? jen’s dad is a private investigator & all!!! but dad had no knowledge of this being done

She’s still fond of Levi and jake but not like in love with them? Like she thought/felt she was with Tim but she still considers them her mates

Maybe in 2021 she’ll be open to dating again and hopes erikah and Allegra will be her wingwomen when the time comes BUT she’s focusing on her blog rn and it’s the best it’s ever been!

She had the show to thank for that now that she has a manager and is getting paid for running her blog now! That’s right this girl is officially employed!

“At least one good thing came from the show ;) 🧽🥐🥂” type of tweets

There’s never not a moment where she’s not connecting her posts whether thru ig or Twitter to her blog: astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk!!!

Both erikah and Allegra talk a little shit about that together...WHEN they DO talk, the pair only really socialize when jen initiates it but if one pisses the other off?? they’re going to gossip about it with the other forsure

She doesn’t look that tall to me? Taller than erikah? 5’2-5’5 the 5 is pushing it for me? Maybe? lol I’m still deciding between her and Allegra far as height and I’m too lazy to go back and see what I put for her

Hates straightening her hair, that pin straight look is not cute to her. She loves having waves and body to her hair

Get her eyebrows micro bladed since she doesn’t have much hair up there to begin with

Adores French cuisine, always has since she was a little girl. Bisque used to be her fav back then and all that she would eat

Loves spring season especially pastel colors when it comes to her wardrobe

The type to say one thing and do the complete opposite

I feel like she probably has a little bit of lisp and it’s not really noticeable until she says some words, she’s insecure about it and thought it had something to do with the structure of her teeth and begged her parents to get them fixed but it literally had nothing to do with them

Yet she still got colorful braces in middle school even tho her teeth were pretty straight. She didn’t have to wear them for a whole year, thank goodness

Went to speech therapy to help

Has stacks of fashion magazines even from the early 90s all over her room: her night stand, her vanity, her closet, underneath her bed etc...

Adores the Hadid sisters, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, & Georgia May Jagger

Makes the best white chocolate chip (that’s right, white not just regular chocolate) banana bread but cooking/baking? Isn’t really her thing

Early riser

Loves yellow: yellow phone case, yellow laptop, yellow room, yellow tulips, yellow shades, etc...

Getting Prada shades was probably one of the best things that happened to her, s/o to her nan for granting her this wish

Words of affirmation is her love lanaguage, this girl is a talker and a bit of a thinker too I mean duh? She runs a blog

Likes bright colors on her toes but nude and clear polish on her hands?

Loves a good mascara but she also loves magnetic lashes but is trying her best to grow her lashes out rn! Thanks to erikah for sending her some good ol’ coconut oil!

Smokey eyes? Set her up

Gets a belly ring, and two more tatts one in between her boobs and the last on her ankle & that one she shed a tear over!

Maybe she’ll start changing her physical attributes more so than the way she carries her life at first? (Or ever) She’ll cut her hair below her collarbone to the top of her chest, and maybe she’ll try a light light LIGHT brunette (she loves being a natural blonde) with blonde highlights? Who knows

loves espadrilles and wedge sandals

Loves going wine tasting and visiting vineyards, if she’s vacationing? You can bet ur ass she’s looking for a vineyard to visit

Deff a lightweight

Here’s her unpopular opinions on s2: Thought Felix was a wannabe Tim and hates the fact that he follows her, thought graham was unattractive and said so to Allegra who snickered, thought marisol’s clothing choices were rather boring,

didn’t feel 100% bad for Hannah but disagrees with the way Gary and noah spoke about her + the way Gary tried to slide back over to Hannah on her comeback episode

but doesn’t feel like Lottie is wrong for choosing Gary after Hannah left

isn’t a fan of priya but is glad she’s doing fashion since jen strongly believes in if something isn’t making u happy then u need to let it go

Thinks Hope should have won and cannot tolerate Bobby. Feels he’s WORSE than Felix,

would be open to dating Ibrahim or Carl from that szn

has spoken to Harry from s3 due to his drunkenness and actually made a friend out of him? But low key wants to get to know seb? Take that info as u will 👀

Her anthem: Michelle — SUNRISE

[aliceaddellheidde]

Fatum

A/N: This is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club Lucky in love. March 18 – Occasion.

WORDS: 2134 😅

WARNINGS: Bucky is sad a bit, swearing

PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x reader (eventually) {Soulmates AU}

DISCLAIMERS: Endgame happened, but only Thanos and his peasants died. English isn´t my first language so sorry for mistakes.

Moi, Rai and Parca are genderless & are using they/their pronouns.

This is soulmates au. When you get tattoo, your soulmate gets it as well on same spot. It glows when you touch.

This is multi-chapter story. 10/19

Gif from here

Divider by @rainbowkisses31

Today was THE day. Your birthday. You woke up to beautiful sunny morning. There were flowers and muffins on your desk. You walked up to it and sniffed the bouquet. It was your favourite. But you were suspicious about those muffins. You took one in your hand. It was weird, like rubber. You squeezed it lightly few times and then suddenly it burst and thick colour covered your front. You angry-walked out from your room, wiping your face best as you could, leaving footprints behind you.

„Good morning Y/N.” said Bucky with smile on his face. But when he saw you he looked surprised. „What happened to you?” „Don´t act like you don’t know!” you screamed. „You did it? It´s your work! I got used to to your pranks, but it´s my fucking birthday! You couldn’t stop for one damn day?” „It wasn't supposed to be like that! There was a card next to it. You didn't read it?” „There is no card!” He sighted. „Come with me.” He took your hand and you both walked back to your room. There was pink colour on walls, ceiling, floor and furniture. „See? No card.” You pointed on the desk. He looked behind the muffins and handed you small paper. „Told you.” 'Happy birthday to my fourth best friend. Bucky. P.S.: Those muffins are for party this evening. Don’t touch it yet.' „But I bet you would touch it anyway because you are stubborn as a mule.” he smirked. „We are friends?” you asked. His face fell a bit. „Yes. What did you think we are?” „Acquaintances.” „Oh.” Now he looked sad. „I'm sorry Buck.” He nodded, but didn't look at you. „Go and take a shower. I´ll clean this.” „I´ll help you.” „No. It´s your birthday. I heard Wanda and Natasha want to take you shopping.” „Ok. Thank you.” You left him with heavy heart.

When you walked back to your room it was clean, Bucky gone and smiling girls were sitting on your bed. „Ready to go?” „No. My hair is wet and I have … .” Wanda moved her hand and you found yourself in jeans and Bucky's hoodie with dry hair. She even applied light make-up on you. „Thank you Wan.” „No problem. Now lets go.”

They took you to your preferred shops and restaurant for lunch. Meanwhile your team was decorating whole compound floor in your favourite colour and flowers were everywhere. Bucky was in the kitchen making your favoured cookies even when Tony told him he hired professional culinary team. He only rolled his eyes and once he was done he went to pick up presents for you.

You came back home few hours later. „Are those cookies I smell?” you asked when you walked into private area of compound. „They are. Bucky made them.” said Tony, dressed in suit. Bucky showed up from behind the wall with basket full of them. „Happy birthday doll.” he smiled at you slightly and handed it to you. „Thank you Buck!” You hugged him and he hugged you back. „No problem.” You looked up at him and suddenly everything else stopped. Tony looked at Wanda and Natasha with confused face. They just smirked. „Ok Y/N. Time to prepare you for party.” You woke up from trance when Wanda touched you. „You prepared party for me?” you asked Tony. „Of course. It´s your birthday!” You turned back to Bucky, kissed his cheek and Wanda was dragging you away.

She tried different dress on you until you finally found one you loved. „Blue looks amazing on you.” said Natasha when she was giving you pair of earrings with small diamonds as her present for you. Wanda gave you matching necklace. „Miss Y/N, Sergeant Barnes is outside of your room.” announced F.R.I.D.A.Y.. „Thank you. Let him in.”

He had blue Henley and jeans on and his hair was combed. „What is it Bucky?” He looked like a snack. Nervous snack. „I have one more gift for you.” He moved away from door and young woman walked in. „Stephanie!” you shouted and ran to her. „I thought you couldn’t come because of work.” She laughed. „It was pretended. Bucky's idea.” You looked at him and he blushed. „I … I´ll see you at the party. Bye.” „He has crush on you.” said Stephanie when he was gone. „And she has on him!” Wanda laughed. She and Natasha met Stephanie before. You couldn’t protest. They were right. „Ok, ok, stop it. We have party downstairs. Come!”

You walked out of the elevator and everyone in the room started screaming 'Happy birthday' and clapping. You saw your whole team mixed with people from compound. Thor and Loki were there as well with their mates. Tony came up to you and asked for first dance. It seemed like everybody wanted to dance with you after him and you hardly had time to eat or drink or be with Stephanie. She looked happy dancing with Bucky. They were talking and laughing all the time. You felt pang of jealousy even when you knew Bucky wasn't yours. You rather went for drink.

„Having fun?” said familiar voice when you were sipping from your glass for few minutes in peace. „Yes. You having fun with my friend I see.” You turned to him. „Stephanie? She's awesome.  She was telling me how she met Brian.” „Brian?” „Her soulmate. She didn't tell you?”„No.” „Then it´s good thing she's coming over here. Have fun doll. And don’t drink too much. There is surprise for later.” He took his drink and let Stephanie to sit on the chair. „I feel like idiot.” you told her. „Why?” „I was jealous of you and Bucky.” „Oh my gosh, really?” she laughed. „You look good together.” „I don’t know about it. Either way, I´m not single any more.” „So I heard.” „Sorry. I wanted this day to be about you and not me and Brian.” „It´s fine. But I´m upset you told Bucky before me.” „On my defence, he was asking about you and your dating life and I blurt out I met my soulmate. Then he changed subject. I guess he realized he will have no info from me.” „Thank gods! You know too much about me.” „Don´t worry. Your secrets are safe with me. But I bet he knows you like him” „He´s handsome. That's all.” „Should I start with that Declan incident?” „Don´t you dare!” She was laughing and after one more drink you moved to dancing parquet.

„Ok people! Make three teams and put on these protecting suits.” said Tony. It was your team only now as other left and you quickly put white thingy on and went outside with others. You were in awe as whole huge garden changed into maze. „Take you bags with muffins and lets fight!” „Rules Tony.” said Pepper. „Yeah. No magic, no guns, don’t eat those muffins. Who will get treasure box at the end is a winner. It´s hidden somewhere in the maze. Once you are hit, you are dead. Understood?” Everybody cheered and three teams of eight people ran forward. You had your girl friends, Thor, MJ, Scott and Bucky in your team. You were fighting for about an hour, and got lost three times, when you saw something shiny on your left. „Treasure box.” you said to your team and cautiously moved that way. When Tony was designing this maze he put different traps in there. But even he didn't know where they were because F.R.I.D.A.Y. did final touches. You were only few metres from box when lasers showed up. Nat was quickly on the other side and turned them off, but was hit by two muffins from Clint. You and other members ran across his firing range and Bucky shot him with blue coloured muffin. Rest of his team showed up and you had to took cover. „Wan and Steph with me. We have to get that box. Bucky, you good?” „Yeah. Go doll.” You blushed. „Come on birthday girl. Lets get your treasure.” You ran the remaining three metres and grabbed box from pedestal. Then loud alarm screeched around the area. Walls disappeared and you saw everyone coming to you. You were all dirty from paint, but happy. „Congratulations Y/N!” Each one hugged you and you opened the box. Inside was small golden trophy. „Thank you all for this. And for the party and presents.” You were crying as you were walking back inside for rest.

It was quiet when you walked out of shower. You assumed your friends were sleeping by now. You lay down on bed when you felt something hard under your head. It was book you were looking for everywhere, but it was sold out. There was text on first page: 'To birthday doll. Your Bucky.' Your cheeks hurt from how big was your smile before you fell asleep.

Next morning you woke up to Stephanie poking into your sides. „Wake up, lazy girl.” she laughed. „You have to take me home.” „Ok. Breakfast first.”

You met Sam and Aderyn in the kitchen. „Are you and Brian disgustingly sweet like them?” you asked your friend. „Sometimes even more.” she laughed. „Gross.” „Oh come on. You don’t really mean it otherwise you wouldn't go to tattoo salon today.” „I have to do it. If my soulmate doesn’t want to. I´ve been alone for so long Steph. Everyone around me has somebody.” „I know love. And I´m wishing you all the luck.” „Thank you. Now we have to go.” You said byes to happy couple and took one Tony´s cars. „Sometimes I´m jealous you're working with Stark.” „Why? It´s not easy job.” „I know, but look how many cool people you know and what amazing things you have!” „Oh Steph. Is it a way to tell me you want new car for your birthday?” you teased. „What? No! But maybe you can ask Clint if he's free sometimes? To meet Brian. My man is obsessed with Hawkeye.” „I can try. Now get off a car before your boyfriend will march here.” You stopped in front of her house and Brian was standing outside. „I´ll introduce you.” You both walked to him and he hugged Stephanie immediately. You adverted you eyes as they kissed. „Babe, this is my best and the coolest friend, Y/N.” „Nice to finally meet you.” He shook your hand. „Likewise.” You did small talk and then you had to go on your appointment.

You stepped inside a tattoo salon and girl from reception recognized you right away. „Miss Y/N! 11 A.M., right?” „Yes.” „Follow me.” She took you into small room with table, chair, counter and shelves with equipment. You looked around beautiful pictures on the walls. „Your artist will be right here.” You nodded and sat down. After few minutes door open again and Tatiana walked in. „Hello. Nice to see you again.” she smiled. „Can we begin or you have some more questions? Some doubts?” „I … I was looking at you photos outside and here as well. Those couples look so happy. I´m not always so sure there is really someone for me.” „You are afraid your soulmate will not love you?” „Yeah.” „Honey, don’t worry. It´s called soulmate for a reason! I´m not saying there will not be hard times, there will, but your souls are meant to be together. In good and bad.” „But what if I think I love someone and it turns out he's not my mate?” „When you already feel it like that then there is high chance he's the one for you. If not, then you only have to deal with it.” You looked at your shoes. „I guess.” „You still want to do it?” You looked back at her. „Yes.” „Then hop on the table. Left side of lower belly, navy blue?” „Yes.” You lied down and let her do her job. After that you saw her when she put your template into computer system. „Congratulations, you are first with this tattoo.” Tatiana smiled at you. It was easy system. You could choose almost any colour of colour spectrum, but not shades too close each other. That's why governments around the world made computer program and it tells you which colours are already taken. Once all are used, tattoo template is destroyed. It predicted a lot misunderstandings. Just imagine there would be five more people with same colour tattoo as you. How would you know which is your mate? „I can take a picture of it and you can update it later on soulmates web.” „Please.” After that she told you about aftercare again and you were free to go.

At same time some person got same tattoo as you and it scared the hell of them.

Music 🤣

[tonksie-writes]

Mark And Soul||Caradin (Ch 1)

Summary: Soulmate AU| Cara is not interested in Soulmates. Even if she were her planet is dead and everyone knows your soulmate comes from your home planet. So why is the helmed wonder she’s been working with over and over sporting a mark matching hers.

Prologue

A/N: Hi back! Some people asked for part 2 so here it is. It’s not finished... that said I also have no set plans for this so we’re on a RIIIIIIDE Friends! Still it should be fun!.... I hope

Cara was too flabbergasted  to really make a move at first. Besides she had better things to do. She needed to keep the Moff alive and get settled, make sure Princess what’s her face didn’t do anything too reckless against, apparently, her soul mate. So she set to work ignoring the image on Din’s jaw,. The tiny, easily missed, almost tattoo; if it were possible to have a naturally occurring tattoo. The tiny familiar shape circle with two thin diamonds on either side and surrounded by what appeared a pronged tear. They said that once you met your soulmate the make would make sense. The reason behind the symbol would become clear and you would know. You would both learn together what the matching marks symbolized of yourself and the other. The pronged tear had made sense since she got her tear tattoo. Though elongated the symbol around the strange circle with diamonds was a simplified rebel starbird. It didn’t take a genius to figure out the meaning of the rest now. It looked just like the kid.

She couldn’t let herself get caught up in it though, even if she had wanted to. Din needed a drink and consoling and a friend. He needed someone to keep that red headed princess away from him. Cara did not like the way Bo- Whatever had looked at him and she didn’t trust the woman. The Moff needed to be put in his Carbonite and stored safely until the New Republic could handle him.

She wanted to focus on the simple and easy things and by the time she found Din again he was sitting alone in the depths of Boba’s ship and had his helmet firmly in place. She was carrying a large glowing bottle of Spatchka and two cups, one with a straw. They didn’t need to talk about it. They didn't need to reference it. Cara could pretend she didn’t see it at all.

She sat down without a word and poured the drinks handing it to him. She’d expected him to use the straw or even just lift the helmet enough to drink. Instead he stood up and closed the door before taking his helmet back off and sitting down.

Damn him for that. He had to go rubbing their mark in her face. Reminding her of promises she had long ago lost hope of and things that weren’t an option. How could they be? Her eyes shot to her drink refusing to look at him and that damn mark that seemed to make her heart flutter. She felt sick or anxious. Maybe it was just a panic attack that made her feel like running away far and fast from her best friend’s handsome face. The deepest brown eyes and prominent jaw with just the right dusting of stubble and caramel skin which almost seemed to have a healthy glow even if she was positive it hadn’t seen the sun in at least a decade.

“It's ok.” He said misreading her need to look away as respect. He downed his drink and sat down and she instantly poured more.

“I thought it was the way?” She said hoping her voice sounded normal and not the strangled panic she felt.

“I thought so too.” He admitted looking down at the drink. The sound in his voice brought her eyes to look at him. He looked so sad and broken there. Staring at his drink. He looked alone.

“Hey, You did the right thing.” She said gently. Neither of them were the best with words. From the beginning they were fighters and soldiers. They punched other people or each other. They sparred and competed and drank and were brothers in arms. She wouldn’t pretend she hadn’t felt drawn to him. For a man who never showed his face he was somehow just as sexy with the helmet on as he was with it off. But they had something so much more important than some stupid physical attraction. She wouldn’t turn him down if he’d offered but this wasn’t a romance.

This was her equal. Someone who respected her and saw who she was and didn’t question.This was someone she was so in sync with it was almost scary. Someone who, from day one, could almost read her mind while they worked together. Looking back, maybe that quick connection was a result of the soul bond they didn’t know they had. She had thought it came from the fight they’d had proving they were perfectly matched. All their competitions did seem to end in a draw after all. Maybe there was a reason for that. She couldn’t be sure though, and she had no desire to dwell.

“I know.” He said. His voice and face were so raw without the armor she almost wanted to tell him to put the damn thing back on but she wouldn’t. This vulnerability was a gift she shouldn’t ignore but it was also killing her. “He’s with his people. He’ll learn and be safe and turn into a warrior.” Din said like he was trying to convince himself.

“But you miss him and it sucks.” she finished the unspoken words.

“Yeah.” He agreed more of a grunt than anything as he downed another drink. She filled both cups again and sat for a moment in silence as they both thought and sipped. “What’ll you do? Go back to Nevarro?” He asked.

She sighed “Have to.” she shrugged. “I’ll give the Moff to some republic officers and stick to cleaning up my back water planet.” She said flatly.

“They could promote you. Bringing in a Moff is big.” He pointed out but she just scoffed.

“No thanks.” She said with a smirk at him. “What about you? Now that you have that cool laser sword thing.” She pointed out a bit of teasing in her tone.

“Don’t remind me. I still think Bo Katan is planning to stab me in my sleep for it.” He said annoyed. The easy smile that pulled across his face was so strange to see. She’d always imagined he smiled under his helm when they talked. She’d pictured the face under the helmet a few times but more so the expressions than anything. She never would have imagined the stoic warrior she sat next to would be so easy to bring a smile out of no matter how sad.

“She tries it and I fill her full of blaster bolts.” she warned but both laughed a little there. The air felt lighter with it. Her fear melted a little, though that could be the alcohol taking effect. She had firmly decided she was blaming the heat in her cheeks and the tingling in her stomach  on the alcohol too.

“I might try to help her re-take Mandalore though. Or keep looking for Mandalorians. Not sure. The kid was my purpose for so long I don’t know what I’ll do.” He admitted.

She took a deep long drink at that and a comfortable, if a little sad, silence descended on the room.

“You could stay with me?” She offered. It was out of her mouth before she was really able to take it back but it did make him shoot his head to look at her.

“On Nevarro?” He asked.

She shrugged “Sure I could use a Deputy.” she teased with a smirk and he laughed again. “Plus you need a new ship. Maybe we could find a pre-Empire one in some scrap heap and get it fixed up.” She pointed out.

He sighed leaning back a little as he took a small sip. She hated the anxiety that flared back as he seemed to think over the offer. It was a stupid plan, a stupid thought. There was no way in hell he would take it. “Maybe. It could be a good change. I’ve had the Razer Crest so long it could be good to upgrade.” He mused.

She snorted a bit and raised her eyebrows imaging him in some shiny new space cruiser with chrome plating. It didn’t fit him. They sat in the silence for a while drinking and just enjoying the other’s company until a small, warm, tingle was starting to overtake both. “Maybe I’ll go look for my soul mate.” He said finally and she nearly spit out her spatchka.

“What?” She asked shocked as hell as to where that came from. Did he know? She had never truly hidden her mark but it was small and she usually had it somewhat covered. He couldn’t know… did he?

“I took the helmet off right? My mark it’s right here.” He said pointing to his jaw and tapping it. “Mandalorians, at least the Children of the Watch, we didn’t talk about soul marks. When you were part of the covert you were a Mandalorian and anything else was set aside. But with the kid…. With everything it got me wondering if maybe I shouldn’t at least look. Maybe it wouldn’t make me less of a Mandalorian” He admitted.

She was stunned listening to that. How did she tell him? How could she? There he was looking for this person and she was right there in front of him and all she had to do was move her hair and he’d have an answer and still she was frozen. She couldn’t do it. He looked over at her and the look in her eyes shook her out of it.

“Yeah. I mean why not right?” she agreed, raising her glass. It was her turn to knock back the drink. “You are a Mandalorian Din. Helmet or no helmet you are exactly what everyone says Mandalorians are in those stories. If they can’t see that, they don’t deserve you. I mean look at everything you did for the Kid and for that village on Sorgon!” and for me. It was true she always helped him, even if she tried to turn it down at first but when she asked he came.

He nodded “Did you know yours?” He asked. She didn’t get where all of these questions were coming from. Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he was thinking about it because of his loss. Whatever it was it made her shift in discomfort. It felt like lying. Not telling him felt like lying to him but the thought of telling him was more terrifying than a space walk.

“I never really thought much about it.” She admitted with a shrug.

“So you didn’t find him on Alderaan?” He asked. They didn’t talk much about Alderaan or her past. They hadn’t since their first meeting. In Sargon they’d swapped a few stories and left it at that. They didn’t get too serious past the admissions of the hard times. This was not their normal way of talking.

“No.” she said simply while her mind screamed ‘tell him!’

He seemed to open his mouth to prepare to talk when a clatter happened above them and shouting started. He instantly put the cup aside and pulled the helmet on and she grabbed her riffle and his and jumped up ready to go. It sounded like danger and this they knew exactly what to do with.

[solastia]

Tuqburni | Finale - Healing

Pairing: Yoonmin x Reader

Word Count: 5,308

A/N: Here we go, the “Official” ending. I will still eventually put out “Finale: Heartbreak” as an alternate version for those that wanted her to move on, as well as a small epilogue later on (will be nice and smutty and set in the future). For now, though, this is the end. It has been a very long journey with this fic as life often got in the way, and I thank (most of you) for being patient with me. I hope you learned a few things along the way. Each and every one of you is important and precious, never let anyone make you feel like you are a second choice or inferior. All relationships are complicated and communication is key no matter your dynamic. But especially so in polyamorous relationships. If anyone ever makes you feel like “the other” or “the third,” talk to them. If they won’t listen, leave. Your worth is not based on other people. You are worthy all on your own. Also, the weekly plan that my character follows is a real system that works. It was given to me by my counselor who I thought was a nut herself at the time, but it worked so well. I’m still working through a lot of stuff myself, but this weekly routine saved my life. 

It had only been a few months so far, but it felt like a lifetime. 

Seokjin and Namjoon had tried to talk you into staying with them, but you’d decided it would make you feel too guilty to rely on them like that and invade their space. Instead, you were now renting your own apartment. It came furnished and the lease was month to month so you could leave at any time. It felt nice though, having your own space, even if it didn’t allow pets. Especially once you’d been able to reduce Jin’s visits to no more than three times a week. 

Taehyung and Jungkook, friends of all of yours and signed to the company you worked for as idols, finally came back into town a few weeks after “the incident” while you were still staying with Jin. You’d forgotten they were due back and only discovered they were here when Yoongi and Jimin both showed up with black eyes and bruised cheeks. You had assumed they came from Jungkook - who had always looked up to you like an older sister - but you were pleasantly surprised to learn they had been inflicted by his boyfriend Taehyung instead. He had proudly admitted it during lunch one day while demanding a turn at petting your hair, and you wondered if he too saw you as a sister or a pet. Either way, you were touched that he thought enough of you to try to “defend your honor.” 

Still, it wasn’t like you never saw Yoongi and Jimin. You still had to work with them, obviously. Jimin worked on the other side of the building, but he had taken to eating his lunch with you, and you were usually joined by Namjoon and Jin so you didn’t feel too pressured. There was still the looming cloud of ‘someday’ that scared you, but without being forced to pretend to be and feel a certain way every day you were able to look at him in a new light. 

The Jimin that you saw now was one that you had caught glimpses of before. He was sweet and kind, but quick-witted and prone to just enough wicked humor to make him interesting. Unfortunately for you, he seemed to also be a natural flirt and making you flustered was as easy as breathing for him. After a couple weeks, you finally started to flirt back and the results were incredible. He would blush and act so shy that he would practically duck under the table. Seemed he could dish it out but couldn’t take it. Honestly, you were beginning to really look forward to your time with him every day. 

With Yoongi, it was naturally a little harder. Your first day back to work had gone a long way towards smoothing things over a little. Yoongi had actually dropped to his knees and bowed along with his apology. He apologized for the way he’d spoken to you that day, as well as for dragging you down into the mess that your relationship had become. The two of you had cried together and hugged, and he promised to go to counseling as well when you mentioned you had signed up to see someone. Anything, he promised. 

“I’ve been horrible and selfish, but not once did I ever stop loving you. I think I’ll love you until the day I die. I’m going to work hard to deserve even the scrap of affection you might still have for me. If you decide that you want to move on, that’s fine. Whatever makes you happy. But know that I’ll always be here loving you and you can come to me for anything at all.” 

Those words felt like a tattoo on your heart. A promise of forever if you ever wanted to reach out and take it. 

But first, you needed to learn to love yourself before you could accept it. You needed to learn to be strong and figure out more about you as a person before becoming a part of something so complicated again. Maybe then you would believe that you were an important part of the relationship, rather than a side piece or someone that they settled for. 

The first step was signing up for a therapist. She was a little pricy, but out of the four other people that you’d talked to before settling, she’d been the only one that made you feel genuinely comfortable. You were pretty self-aware of your flaws and why you had them in the first place, so it wasn’t like you needed someone to hold your hand and drudge up every painful memory. You just needed help trying to get past it all and get to a place where you were comfortable with yourself. 

The therapist was chill enough that even you thought she might work for Jimin and Yoongi as well, and they quickly made appointments with her when you told them. You obviously weren’t able to know what they were talking about with her, but you’d noticed after a few weeks that both of them seemed a little lighter. Jimin practically sparkled whenever he joined you at lunch and Yoongi was quick to smile when he joined you in your combined studio, sometimes sneaking a coffee onto your desk that was just the way you liked it. He’d even started bringing your dog Holly to the office every day so that you could spend time with him. 

Jimin and Yoongi admitted that several of their sessions have been as a pair since they had the added trauma of Yoongi’s prior attempt on his life. They asked you to come to a couple yourself since you were part of it as well. You were the one to find him and help him through all of it, and they felt that it would help any lingering bitterness or fear from the incident would be helped that way. You agreed and started attending once a month as a group. 

She was wonderful for you, you thought. You never felt judged, not even when you brought up the relationship with Yoongi and Jimin and how it was handled. She simply let you talk and then asked you what you wanted. To close your eyes and envision what you hoped was waiting for you at the end of this journey. 

Yoongi’s face was the first thing you thought of and wasn’t surprising. That Jimin was right there next to him and holding out a hand towards you was. You wanted this to work. You wanted to be happy, and you wanted them to be happy. Without you, if that had to be it. With you would be even better. Somehow Jimin had slotted himself a place in your vision of the future.  

One of her biggest things that she preached was finding a routine that made you feel happy and safe while building your sense of self. She claimed it was an essential part of healing for many, especially those dealing with past trauma like you. That while many of the tasks she wanted you to do seemed silly or self-indulgent, that in the end you might discover more about yourself and develop healthy habits. So, she assigned you a weekly routine to follow. 

There was Me Monday, in which you spent the entire day “dating” yourself. It was a little difficult considering your work, but the day was essentially pampering yourself as much as possible. You eat what you want to eat, you watch what you want, when you get out of work you go do what you want. You use that day to get massages or pedicures. She said it was to teach you that it’s okay to be a little selfish from time to time. That taking care of yourself and putting yourself ahead of someone else on occasion wasn’t a crime. It was healthy because at the end of the day no one else can live your life but you. 

Try Something Tuesday was essentially what it sounded like. You take that day to try something new. You tried out new hobbies, new activities. Anything that you had once said no to because you were scared, this was the day to do them. So far you’d gone to dance classes and discovered you were actually pretty good, went to play laser tag with Jin and his friends, and started biking almost daily with Namjoon. Jungkook has been trying to talk you into going skydiving and the fact that it terrifies you tells you it’s probably going to happen eventually. 

Work through it Wednesday was the day you went to see your therapist. You’d work through the list you had to make throughout the week of things you wanted to cover. A lot of what you went over was stuff that you pretty much knew inside your head, but she would drag it out of you and once it was out there and being spoken about by another person, it helped to see it in a new light. She covered everything from your abandonment issues to the fact that you had never fully put your trust in Yoongi in the first place. That you had always expected him to drop you at any moment and when he brought Jimin in, for you it was simply confirming what you had been telling yourself all along. That you weren’t worthy of being loved and no one would want you. When that came out, she essentially told you to snap out of it. That you shouldn’t let your anxiety win. There was a lot more to it, but you were working on it. 

“Them” Thursdays were one of the more difficult days. Since she counseled all three of you and all of your ultimate goals were to someday find your way back to each other, she allotted you all one day to spend some time all together. Nothing romantic or sexual - simply re-learning each other and discovering how you work together. The first few Thursdays had been borderline painful. You’d all met in a cafe for coffee and awkwardly sat around the table. Jimin would try to talk about funny things he saw on the internet or some anime he was watching in an attempt to kill the silence, while Yoongi usually seemed content to listen while he stared at you like a lost puppy. When it was obvious that something needed changing, your therapist suggested other locales. Places that would give you all a shared experience and something to break the ice. 

The spot that finally worked its magic on all of you was the cat cafe. On your first visit, it was obvious as soon as you all walked in that Jimin was in heaven. He cooed at and cuddled every single one that would let him. You’d never thought of Yoongi as much of a cat person and figured he would just lay around and nap somewhere while you and Jimin played. He did lay out eventually, but was soon joined by at least six cats that all decided he made a perfect bed. 

“Look, they recognize one of their own,” Jimin had giggled to you. 

It soon became a place of comfort for the three of you. Somewhere that seemed to make you all happy and comfortable enough to talk. You were all very careful not to make promises, as that’s not what these visits were about. They were about healing. About getting to know each other on a new deeper level without the pressure of romantic entanglements.

It wasn’t like you all weren’t still attracted to each other, obviously. There were still moments where you would be laughing and glance over at Yoongi only to find him piercing you with hooded eyes, biting his lip in the way that you knew from experience meant he was holding himself back from kissing you. Even Jimin would sometimes flip a switch and go from a giggling dork to running his hands through his hair and looking like sex personified as he stared you down.

Of course, it probably also didn’t help that - unless they were lying - neither of them had even touched each other like that in months. They claimed they were staying in separate bedrooms and didn’t want to do anything that could jeopardize everyone’s healing. You mostly believed them because Jimin was always free of hickeys or other marks. Yoongi always left a mark. This made you feel both relieved and guilty. Relieved because that would mean if you decided to start over with each other, it would be from the beginning for everyone. You wouldn’t feel left behind. But you also felt guilty because it seemed like such a selfish thing to expect from them. To expect them to not fuck around when you weren’t even promising getting back together seemed messed up as hell. However, it was Jimin’s idea in the first place and Yoongi had completely agreed with it, so you supposed it was up to them if they wanted to continue that or not. It’s not like you’d know if they did do something since you didn’t live there anymore. 

After “Them” Thursdays was Friend Fridays. Once you began to talk to your therapist more, you realized that your life had pretty much revolved around Yoongi to the point where you hadn’t even maintained or started any friendships outside of the ones you met through him or work. Which wasn’t too bad in your mind, since that meant you had Jin and Namjoon as well as Jungkook and Taehyung, and they were the best friends anyone could ever ask for. However, your therapist recommended seeking out friends of your own that wouldn’t be thrown into the middle of a war should your relationship ever go south again. Friends that were just yours that would have things in common with you and that you could count on to be there for you. This was all easier said than done, as it was hard for adults to make friends outside of work. But you did your best, chatting up other people that you met through your dance classes or other activities. You had a tentative meetup on your next Friday with some girls you’d met at the park. Yoongi was going to leave Holly with you after work and you were going to meet them there and have a meetup with all of your dogs. It wasn’t bad for a first step, you thought. 

Sensual Saturdays was...well, pretty much how it sounded as well. It was your day to convince yourself that you were attractive and desirable. During your sessions, you’d apparently compared yourself to Jimin far too often. You often mentioned how much more beautiful you thought he was than yourself, how you wouldn’t be surprised for anyone to pick him over you. How compatible Yoongi and Jimin were in bed. So, in order to help you cease - or at least lessen - how often you talked down yourself and get you to view yourself in a new light, a day was set aside for you to work on precisely that. You would buy yourself lingerie and walk around in it at home until you were comfortable enough to actually begin to admire yourself in it. You bought a huge mirror for the back of your bedroom door and played with yourself in front of it, curiously watching your expressions as you imagined it was Yoongi’s fingers instead. It was definitely a work in progress and you weren’t sure you’d ever be considered on Jimin’s level realistically, but you were beginning to at least find it more believable when someone complimented you on your appearance. 

Silent Sundays was a day you took to recharge. You left your phone on silent, you kept the TV off, and you ignored everyone. You spent the day writing in the journal you had to keep for therapy, going over everything that happened that week and how you felt you had changed versus what you felt you still needed to work on. You’d also read or draw, sometimes write lyrics, maybe do some baking. It was usually on Sundays that you missed your little house the most, as you pictured a Silent Sunday spent there instead. You’d probably spend it outside working on the garden in the backyard. Holly would walk back and forth between you in the garden and Yoongi muttering curses as he built something on the patio. Jimin would probably come outside to bring you both drinks and peck you on the cheek before he rushed back inside to watch his show, not wanting to stay out in the sun too long. It was such a believable scenario and you could see it so clearly that your chest ached with longing. 

The fact that Jimin was always right there whenever you pictured going home wasn’t lost on you, either. You were beginning to accept fully that somewhere along the line you had dropped your wall of bitterness long enough for him to charm his way through and you were as whipped for him as everyone else was. For every thought you had of Yoongi, one of Jimin followed soon after. You’d imagine Yoongi’s sexy smirk and intense eyes, then Jimin’s lips and strong muscles. You’d think of Yoongi’s quiet thoughtfulness and warm heart, then Jimin’s kindness and cheerful energy.

Whenever you thought of home, you thought of them.

A decision would have to be made soon, but you were pretty sure it was already made in your heart. However, in fairness to yourself, you were going to do one last thing. Try to move on

* 

Jung Hoseok was an absolutely gorgeous man. He was tall and lanky, but with the toned muscles you were used to seeing on dancers. And his smile was dangerous - one moment it was brighter than the sun with adorable dimples, the next it was a smirk lethal enough to melt anyone.  

You had noticed him around the company before, but you’d never really talked to him. He was good friends with Taehyung and Jungkook, and Jin always spoke fondly of him, but back then you were just so wrapped up in Yoongi that only him and those immediately close to him gained your interest. You were a little disappointed you’d never talked to him sooner. 

He was bright and loud and quite possibly the most fun you’d ever had on a date. He was proud and passionate about his work, loved his family and friends, and was absolutely perfect. And yet everything he did, you compared to ‘them.’ Or wondered what they would think. Things like, “Jimin must love this guy.” or “Yoongi would be wishing he would choke on a bread roll just for a moment of quiet.” 

All throughout dinner you couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t where you belonged and that he would never be the one. But he was so nice and kept you laughing with his hilariously animated stories that you couldn’t just bail. Instead, you stayed and ordered another glass of wine and giggled as he continued entertaining you. 

An hour later you’re both standing outside of the restaurant making your goodbyes in front of your taxi when his gaze suddenly changes from friendly to smoldering. His eyes rake you from top to bottom and you remember that today was Sensual Saturday. You’d certainly dressed the part. He couldn’t see all the black lace lingerie you had on underneath your red sheath dress, but you’d unquestionably left little to the imagination.  

“So, uh, it’s really unusual for me to ask on a first date, but...maybe we could take this to my place? If you want? It’s just...you are so fucking beautiful and sweet and totally too good to be true. I’ll even throw in breakfast, although I’m a shitty cook. But I’d make it up to you for dinner.” 

“Wow. You have all day tomorrow planned too, huh?” You joke nervously. The two and a half cups of wine you’d had with dinner were settled comfortably in your tummy, warming you in places that made you think that just maybe you could go through with this. You weren’t blind - he was fucking hot as hell - but the thought of being with anyone other than Yoongi, or even Jimin, was terrifying. But your new motto of trying to do things that scare you, along with this being ‘Sensual Saturday’, led you to believe that you really needed to do this. 

“Yeah, kinda pictured a day spent in bed, watching some movies, ordering Chinese...you can tell me to fuck off if you don’t want to or you want to wait. I won’t be offended,” he shrugs, his little grin deepening a dimple. 

You sigh and grab his hand, leading him towards the taxi. “Tell him your address.” 

His eyes widen like he can’t believe his luck and he stutters out his address to the driver. He leans back and buckles in before tentatively reaching over to grab your hand. It’s nice and warm, with pretty fingers. But even then you’re comparing his hands with Yoongi’s beautifully vein-laced ones. 

The building you’re led to is a nice apartment complex - quite a bit nicer than the month-to-month one you’re renting but not fancy enough to make you feel out of place. As he excitedly pulls you into the elevator and onto his floor, you realize the light buzz of alcohol that was clouding your thoughts was slowly easing away, leaving the light thrum of anxiety and discomfort room to grow. 

It definitely wasn’t him. He was sweet and funny and super, super hot - did you mention he was hot? He just wasn’t ‘them.’ 

You steeled yourself, however, because you owed yourself this. You owed yourself a chance to move on, to experience someone else. Surely this feeling would dissipate once you, you know, got going. People did this stuff all the time, why couldn’t you? 

His apartment was nicer than you expected. Clean and bright, with cute little accents here and there that spoke of his colorful personality. It even smelled amazing, which seemed odd for a bachelor pad. Like citrus and vanilla. 

Hoseok knelt down and helped you out of your heels before standing up to take off his blazer. 

“You need a drink or anything?” 

You shake your head, wanting to get started before you can talk yourself out of it. He smirks, obviously thinking you’re just nervously eager for him. 

He walks up and cups your jaw, tilting your face up. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes,” you whisper, closing your eyes as he moves closer. 

It’s a nice kiss. Slow and sensual, barely any tongue, and he strokes his thumb across your cheek the whole time. Any other person would feel excited and be touched with how sweet it was. It was like he was silently promising this wasn’t just sex for him. It only served to make you feel guiltier that you weren’t being totally honest with him. 

When he pulls away, his eyes seem a little dazed as he escorts you to his room. Again, nothing to complain about there. The room is nice and clean, smells good, has a few cute Snoopy stuff animals laying around. He’s gentle leading you in and maneuvering you to sit on the bed.  

His breath is shuddering as he slowly leans in to kiss your jaw and work his way down. You can feel a slight twinge of interest since your neck is one of your weak spots, but it dies down again once the expect bite never came. Yoongi was a biter and always left marks that you proudly wore, no matter how many people told you it was tacky. Your neck and chest were his favorite places to do it, so when Hoseok simply traveled around leaving light kisses and maybe a lick or two, you were nearly disappointed. Also slightly relieved because what if the boys saw a mark on you? You could nearly see Jimin’s eyes tearing up now. 

Hoseok inhales and moans, making you jump a little because you’d nearly forgotten about him you’d been so stuck in your own mind. His hand slowly slides down and up, reaching under your dress. His hands are nice enough, but they don’t have the expert feel of Yoongi’s fingers knowing your body like the back of his hand. Or even Jimin’s - thicker and earnest to learn and please. 

You cringe when he slips into your panties because you know he’s going to feel you’re as dry as a desert down there. 

Sure enough, he pauses and his shoulders slump. He slides his hand out and peeks up at you. You can tell he’s forcing himself to smile, but his eyes are soft with understanding. 

“I’m not doing it for you, am I?” 

You rush to explain. “Oh, God...it’s not you. It’s so not you. You are unbelievably hot and funny, just so sexy and I really wish I could get out of my head, but...”

“Yoongi and Jimin, right?” You nod and he sighs, sitting up on the bed next to you. “Jin hyung told me not to get my hopes up, but you are so pretty and sweet that I think I lost my head there a little bit.” 

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, turning to look down at the floor. 

“Nah, I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t make you feel pressured or like you had to come here with me.” 

“No, of course not. I thought if I just tried I could...with you. You are amazing.” 

Hoseok sighs and smiles sadly, twisting your heart. If you were another you, not so stuck on ‘them’, you’d grab this man up in a heartbeat. 

He chuckles and helps you up. “Fine, but let them know if they fuck up again I’m coming for you.”

You blush and let him lead you out of the room. “Thank you, Hoseok. If it’s not too awkward, I’d like to be friends. Not like the bullshit line people say when they really don’t mean it, but really friends. You can hang out with us in the cafeteria at work on Monday if you want.” 

He looks surprised for a split second before the tension in his face melts and he smiles genuinely at you. 

“You know what? I might just take you up on that.” 

“Okay. Thanks, Hoseok. And I’m sorry, again.” 

“It’s all good. You can still stay the night if you want? I have an extra room and I promise no funny business unless you ask for it.” 

You giggle and slide into your heels. 

“No, thanks though. I’m gonna...” 

“Yeah,” he nods in understanding. “Be careful.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you.” 

You escape to the elevator quickly, ordering a cab on your phone. When you’re done, you lean your head against the wall and sigh. Honestly, you’re not sure if you’re doing the right thing. Hoseok was incredible and had so much potential, but you’re you and you have to do what’s right for yourself. And given how much you can’t stop thinking of two certain people, your path is clear. 

*

The taxi pulls up to the familiar little house and you quickly slide out after paying and just stand there, looking at it. 

Home. 

It still looks the same. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it still looked like home. Yoongi still kept up the yard, though your flowers looked like they might be struggling a little bit. He’d forgotten to put his basketball away again since it was just sitting there in the driveway waiting to get run over. Jimin must have been sitting on the porch reading earlier because one of his mangas was on the wicker table. 

You take a few steps closer, amazed at how your chest felt lighter with each one. As soon as you walk up one of the stairs you can hear Holly at the door, scratching a little and whining. 

“Yah, you mongrel. What’s your problem? You too good for the doggy door in the back now?” 

You grin shakily as Yoongi’s complaining filters through the door. Once you’re close enough to hover your hand over the door you can hear Yoongi shuffling closer to the door. Your heart is pounding and you can feel your eyes filling up and you fight to contain yourself. You knock twice. 

Yoongi cracks open the door, his confused expression morphing into disbelief once he sees you. 

“Hi,” you say breathily. 

He gulps and quietly responds, “Hey.” Holly happily hops all over the place and does circles to try and get your attention. You smile at him then turn back to Yoongi. 

You both are quiet for a moment, looking each other over. His eyes roam over your outfit is wide-eyed wonder. 

Jimin wanders in fresh from the shower, running a towel over his head still. 

“Who is coming by this late?” 

You poke your head to the side and wave a little. 

“Hey, Jimin.” 

“Noona?” He smiles happily, rushing over to join Yoongi at the door. “You look incredible. What’s going on?” 

Yoongi already knows. You can see it in the way his shoulders have relaxed like someone just lifted the weight of the world off of them. A single tear travels down his cheek as he smiles softly at you. 

“We have to keep going to counseling. I’m not going to go back to the way things were. We are going to be better than that. We are going to communicate and talk everything through. If I’m the one not talking about something I should, call me out on it. This is going to be equal and no one is going to feel left out.” Yoongi nods enthusiastically and reaches out a hand that you eagerly grasp. 

Jimin gasps as he catches on. 

“Noona, you’re back?” 

“I’m all in. With both of you, if you still want me.” 

You hold your free hand out to him and his smile grows bright as he accepts it and tugs you inside the house before enveloping you in a hug. Yoongi shuts the door and takes Jimin’s place when the other pulls back. 

He cups your jaw and his face comes so close you can see his lip trembling with barely contained emotion. He sighs and lays his forehead against yours. 

“Welcome home, Princess.” 

Jimin wraps his arms around you both from the side, placing a quick peck on both of your cheeks. You blush and cuddle further into Yoongi’s hold, feeling right for the first time in a very long time. 

You know it’s not perfect yet and you all still have a lot to work on and figure out, but for now, this is perfect. 

Because home was ‘Them.’