#i feel like my tags now have more substance than the actual post does

[enchantingruinscandy]

turns out that obsessively training your non dominant hand to do things your dominant hand usually does is actually beneficial and i was not just paranoid

[legitalicat]

Out of Time

Chapter 2 - "Through the Gardens"

AN: Thank you all so much for the love on chapter 1! It truly was unexpected but I'm so grateful. I hope as the story continues, the love for it does as well! This dedication has been removed.

If you love this header go check out zaldritzosrose for more amazing work! She is tagged on the series masterlist and on my welcome post!

Find the series Master list here!

Summary: From her room, through the gardens, to the Dragon Pit, their route was always the same. Aemond and Y/N walked that path so much when they were younger it was a wonderful there wasn't a permanent foot path burnt into the earth. Between two dragons, everything burns with a deep intensity.

TW: mentions of being forcefully drugged/intoxicated, talks of injury, near palpable grief, reader is AFAB, romantic/sexual tension, first person POV, Aemond giving Ser Erryk the biggest crisis of his life for approximately five seconds

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader, talks of Jacaerys Velaryon x Velaryon!Reader, ghost of a thought of Aegon Targaryen ii x Velaryon!Reader.

Word Count: 2.8 k

The Grand Maester and his younger assistant both seemed relieved with what they found. They said my ribs were cracked but were mostly healed at this point. My lip would heal in a few days. There was no evidence of my captors violating me, which caused mother to let out a sigh of relief. I had at one point had a broken wrist but it had been long since healed. The rest of the bruises and any cuts were superficial, the more extreme wounds now being pink scars.

“And her memory?” she asked the men.

“It is highly possible she was kept drunk or under some form of intoxication these last years. If that is the case, she may regain memories but I do not feel comfortable guaranteeing such a thing,” the Grand Maester said to her. I appreciated his honesty as I imagined sitting in his seat, telling the Queen the opposite of what she would want to hear.

When she dismissed them, we sat in front of my fireplace together. There were so many things I wanted to convey, but my brain couldn’t form the words. There was nothing adequate I could say or do to ease her mind, so I just sat with her in silence and watched the flames dance.

The flames seemed redder than normal with a slight shimmer to them. It was something I was certain I had never seen before but the shimmer mesmerized me. In my mind I could see it, having captured the flames in a small vial. There was a glow to the vial as the red shimmery substance flowed along every part of the glass. I imagined it tasting smoky but comfortable and pleasant, leaving me feeling warm as I drift to sleep.

I couldn’t tell you where these thoughts were coming from. All I knew is it felt simultaneously too real to just be my imagination and too ridiculous to be real.

“I think grandsire’s crown suits you,” I commented, smiling over at her. She had been so concerned over her place for years that actually seeing her with the golden crown resting on her head granted me a happiness I had never expected.

She smiled back at me. “It weighs heavily on my head at times,” she told me honestly. “Yet I am grateful it came as it was supposed to.”

Mother didn’t have to explain to me further what she meant. Though I had doubted Aegon’s desire to take the Throne, Otto Hightower was a conniving man. It would’ve been far too easy for him to succeed if Alicent hadn’t put a stop to his plans. I imagine he had planned for Aegon to wear the Conqueror’s Crown, to make people think he was more deserving.

Imagining Aegon adorning the Conqueror’s Crown caused my cheeks to heat up. He was very handsome and always had been. When I was little, I thought Aegon hung the moon and stars, and I followed him around like a lovesick puppy dog. Before I had more of an understanding of what Jace and I were, before Aemond made it clear how he wanted me, I thought Aegon was my future. In fact, he almost was.

I distinctly remember my mother approaching me before she had Joffrey. Jace and I were only seven and were becoming increasingly aware of our place in the world. One of us would be heir once she took the Throne, a decision she allowed us to make. She told me she wanted to suggest a marriage between Aegon and I if I were okay with it, which even at seven I knew would be best for our family. It was a no brainer for me. Even so, it did not come to fruition as Alicent adamantly refused.

“I think I shall go see Vhaela,” I told her, standing slowly. As long as I moved slowly, my ribs did not hurt so much.

“I have assigned Ser Erryk to watch over you, he shall accompany you,” she told me, standing herself.

Just as I was about to protest, I bit my lip and held my tongue when I saw her face. Fear could be seen on her every feature. I wondered if she now felt uneasy as I would be out of her sight for the first time all afternoon. Could she be worried I would disappear again?

“Okay, mama,” I said with a small smile. I hugged her as tightly as I could, wishing I could fix all the holes in her heart my disappearance caused.

After a moment, I pulled away and gave her a small smile before leaving my room. I nodded to Ser Erryk in a greeting as I shut the door behind me.

“Good afternoon, princess,” he said as he smiled. “Where would you like to go?”

I was about to tell him my desired destination when a voice called out to me. I turned to see Aemond quickly approaching which caused my heart to rapidly beat.

He was as perfect as he had always been. His silver hair went to his mid back just as it had for years. He wore a black leather doublet with long sleeves and matching pants with black boots. He wore his eye patch over his left eye, despite how much I had always wished he would allow himself to wander free without it. He looked simple and elegant without being boring.

“Princess,” he said as he slowed to a stop in front of me.

“Prince Aemond,” I said to him, giving him a slight nod of my head. Desperately I tried to steady my heart and slow my mind.

Jace never made me so nervous. I knew him the way one knows their favorite book. Every thought, feeling, or action could be anticipated. With Aemond, I never actually had any idea of what he could possibly be thinking. He kept his feelings and thoughts close to him, not wanting anyone to know him ever.

In fact, it wasn’t until he kissed me the first time that I ever understood his words of marrying me were rooted in feelings for me. I could remember it as clear as though it happened mere hours ago. The way I was sitting in the window of the library, reading the personal journals of Rhaenys Targaryen, when he approached me with a singular red tulip in hand. The way he looked at me as he presented it, telling me it was the only flower worthy of my beauty. What I remembered most was the way his lips felt on mine, the way it made the world go quiet if only for a moment and caused my pulse to somehow quicken yet disappear all at once.

He smiled brightly at me. It was unusual for him to smile but it was a sight that always made my heart try to beat out of my chest. It was something he had always saved only for me. When we were children, when Aegon, Jace, and Luke separated themselves from us because we did not yet have dragons, he gave me sanctuary. He made me feel better than anyone else could.

“Did you find comfort in your bath, byka zaldrīzes?” he asked me, taking my hand in his and pressing it to his lips.

“I did, issa mīsio,” I told him trying to hide my smile.

My protector. It is what I have called him for as long as I could remember. He earned the nickname when I was four and he removed a spider from my room. Luke had alwayss believed that it was something I should’ve reserved only for Jace. Yet he never understood that while Jace would fight for me, Aemond would kill for me.

“Leave us,” he instructed Ser Erryk.

“But the Queen-“ my guard said quickly. He was rather panicked at the idea of leaving me against my mother’s wishes.

“Should understand there is nobody better suited to keep the Princess safe than I am,” Aemond said firmly.

The demanding tone to his voice left no room for further debate. He had always made sure that those around us knew that everyone in the world was insignificant when compared to him in regards to keeping me safe. It didn’t matter if it was his mother, the guards, or even the Gods themselves. He would strike down anyone or anything that dared to threaten me.

I could see that there was an internal debate in his head. Which should he fear more, his Queen or Aemond? Aemond acted more frequently out of anger than Mother did.

“Mother has always trusted that Aemond is a capable swordsman and knows I am safe in his company. If anything is said I will speak to her. Thank you, Ser, for your dedication,” I told him, smiling at him. He nodded quietly and walked away, knowing I would take all responsibility and feeling ease from that.

Aemond offered his arm to me. I linked mine in his without a second thought. The year I spent here before my disappearance, this is how we walked anywhere. Arm in arm, like we were a singular entity. He would escort me everywhere, never once being late and always ready for some form of contact. I would be with him every moment I wasn’t with my grandsire.

Many ladies in the court once asked me how long it would be until we were married. I assured them that there was no possibility in that happening, but they were convinced. They said that not even their own husbands doted on them the way Aemond would dote on me. But they were always so ridiculous sounding I never gave them any mind.

We had always considered ourselves just children in a game. We were better, smarter, more talented than other players. Never did something so trivial as the gossip at courts ever stop us. But now I wonder if maybe we should’ve stopped.

“You look beautiful in that color, Y/N,” he told me as we began walking towards the gardens. This was our route every time. From my chambers, through the gardens, past the training yard, then to the Dragon Pit.

“Why am I the only one you speak to with such affection?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow. I tried to ignore the people we passed by who stopped to stare at me.

“Yet you do not respond with even half as much,” he said to me as he pulled me closer into his side. He seemed to also be aware of everyone staring.

“What is the purpose of this, Aem?” I asked him. “No longer are we children playing a game. We cannot continue as though we are only friends.”

“But we are friends,” he pointed out as we stepped out into the gardens where nobody seemed to exist.

This was one place in the Red Keep I always felt I belonged. Surrounded by flowers of brilliant blues, reds, pinks, and yellows dotting the otherwise green landscape here. The pink peonies were always very beloved by Alicent. The yellow hydrangeas were Mother’s favorite. Helaena always preferred looking for the bugs that inhabited the ground, so much so I had once destroyed the stores of garden soil they used to kill the bugs. They stopped using it when they realized It was me.

“You are in love with me,” I reminded him. Aemond chuckled at my words as he picked a purple hyacinth and put it in my hair beside the flower Mother had stuck there earlier.

“And if I remember correctly, our last night together was spent with you telling me the names of our no less than four children and all of their dragons,” he said with a smirk.

He spoke as though it were the simplest thing in the world. As though he and I were able to marry for love rather than duty. His words ignored the fact I was to marry Jace and become his queen, that my place in this world was to support my twin. It had been decided a long time ago.

“We were fooling ourselves thinking we could ever be together,” I whispered as I stopped walking. Though the knot in my throat that formed as I spoke those words made my voice sound weak and unsure.

“You are fooling yourself if you truly believe that you love Jacaerys enough to toss aside what you and I share.”

I let out a huff of annoyance. He was always so sure that he was right. He spoke so absolutely that almost anyone would believe him.

“And you think I love you enough to toss aside my duty?” I asked him.

There wasn’t enough time for me to process what he did before I was in the position. A look to make sure we were truly alone and then I was pulled into an alcove we had discovered long ago, hidden behind bushes that nobody ever looked twice at. It was small and dark, but always held room for the two of us.

“You scream my name in our nights together. You tell me over and over how you love me as you cum around me. You begged for us to go away, find someone to marry us in Valyrian tradition before you could be forced to marry him,” he whispered in my ear. “You cannot act as though you do not love me enough. Time has changed many things, but I can assure you that our love for one another is not one of them.”

“Aemond,” I whispered cautiously when he ran his fingers over the low neckline of my dress. “That was all before I was betrothed formally.”

“I wish for you to be my wife. Do not expect me to give up on that so easily,” he told me.

My heart was pounding so hard against my chest I was sure he could hear it. Maybe my mother had a point. Time had been so cruel, ripping me away from everyone I knew and loved. Maybe I should allow myself some time to play the game the way I wish to.

And Aemond was electrifying in all of the right ways. He was irresistibly handsome, almost intoxicatingly so. There was something about him that assured every bone in my body that no harm would come to me as long as I was with him.

Further than that, I loved him. Put aside the promise of safety that he had always provided and I still loved him. I had known it when he would stay with me all night as I prayed to every god in the world that my egg would finally hatch. I had known it when he pulled me out of bed to come with him the night he claimed Vhagar because I was the only one he wanted to share the moment with. When he lost his eye during the resulting fight with my brothers and cousins, I had cried for the rest of the night because I had failed to protect him the way he always protected me. And when grandsire sent for me to join him at the Red Keep, I jumped at the opportunity simply because I would be with Aemond. I loved Aemond with my entire being.

“I am still betrothed to Jace. Your desire to marry me does not change that,” I whispered even though it broke my heart.

“You can! You think I don’t remember that your mother has always given you a choice? That you got to choose whether she named you heir or Jacaerys? You have a choice, more than anyone else ever has,” he all but shouted.

There was not a doubt in my mind that he would back off if I told him I did not want him. If I made it clear that my reasons for denying him were more about how I felt rather than about duty, he wouldn’t question it for a second. My wants and desires were placed above his in regards to us. It was one of the many ways I was certain he loved me.

While I couldn’t lie to him that I did not want him, I also couldn’t decide anything without speaking to Jace. He deserved that.

“I will speak to Jace. Only after will I decide anything,” I said.

Only after several moments of silence did my words have any sway in him. It seemed that promise was enough for him as he pressed a small kiss to my forehead before exiting the alcove, gesturing me to follow. And while it may have been a better idea to leave his company, there wasn’t anything I could do to avoid taking his arm in mine and walking with him.

[analexthatexists]

Jotting down my UTMV AU Ideas because of this guy

@idkhowtoread-ink you’ve inspired me now pay the price

No clue if ANY OF THESE can make canon sense but does it look like I care? Lemme have my fun.

AMV!Ink / AMV-VERSE (AMVV?)

The idea is simple. At least, I hoped it was. Rather than the artistic AUs, fanart, and creative writing side of the community, there was an Ink made for the musical side of the community, like the AMVs, themes, vocaloid covers and what not. I’m sure Ink probably looks over ALL of that junk already but let’s be honest when was the last time you saw him doing it? Yeah I didn’t think so. Ink could be an unfinished animation meme or a vocaloid AMV like that Spring Storm one and eventually find a way to leave it and probably protect YouTube or inspire creators or something, gaining access to all the other things and people on the platform. Error could even tag along as some sort of flawed copyrighting system using Error’s body as a means of moving around rather that being confined to STRINGS of text. (Don’t ask me how he does that I don’t know) He would recognize everything as copyrighted or plagiarism or something and try to destroy it without seeing the creativity and originality in the work. Their designs could be based off the AMVs or covers they came from with Ink being from whatever the hell and Error being from…idk, probably ECHO. I wonder if Inks outfit would depend on which videos and content he delves into almost like Hatsune Miku or other Vocaloid.

LONLEY GUARDIAN

This one is just sad. A Dreamtale AU where, during a fight between Dream and Nightmare, Dream reaches out and gets a hold of Nightmare’s SOUL trying to uncorrupt it, sacrificing himself to be able to restore a part of the original Nightmare. Dream dies and the world is cast into absolute darkness, leaving Nightmare stranded in the cold world with nobody to seek comfort from, nobody to help him. Not anymore.

INK <——> NIGHTMARE SWAP AU

Random idea that I came up with after jokingly writing Nightmare getting drunk off of Ink’s vials. Would that actually work?What if the two got into such a dangerous fight that eventually Ink tried to teleport away but Nightmare lunges at him and two get their “goop” mixed together because Ink teleports via INK. And nightmare is made of a INK like substance. If Ink doesn’t instantly die from lead poisoning or something this mixing could mess up his brain while Nightmare just kind of shrugs it off and steals Ink’s vials. Ink would no longer need the vials and rely off Nightmare’s “blood” to feel real negative emotions, slowly craving the stuff more and more than his vials while Nightmare probably gets drunk off the vials or something and takes on Ink’s role. Error and Dream may have to team up to get them back to normal or at least try to.

SHATTERED DREAM BUT SCARIER

So looking at this post made me consider something. What if Dream tried to eat the apples and yknow do what he did in the original AU, but due to the overwhelming and clashing natures of his apple and the dark ones he just…MELTED AND DIED IN FRONT OF NIGHTMARE. He doesn’t even corrupt or anything (well sort of) he just DISSOLVES ALIVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Imagine trying to prove a point and failing THIS BADLY. Anyways, rather than Nightmare being haunted by his now corrupted brother, he’s just ACTUALLY HAUNTED. I was thinking this could be like Phantom Papyrus and Dust Sans and that this new “Dream” (going by Shattered) is just a horrible manifestation of this traumatic event. It’s design and personality wouldn’t be the EXACT same especially not the design (would look so much scarier) but it constantly make Nighty feel like garbage and all that. People like Swap and Ink would have to find and help Nightmare get past this trauma, where only then can he and his “brother” finally move on.

EVIL INK AU BECAUSE YES

I know, we literally JUST went over an Evil Ink AU but hear me out. Wouldn’t he WANT a soul again? Idk if it’s possible for him to reabsorb and claim a soul, he probably can’t, but what if he COULD? He’d probably go nuts over Error’s or something. Just ANYTHING to fill that void other than his vials.

wow most of these ideas involve characters getting traumatized or turning evil. I ain’t sorry though!

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Sauvignon Blanc | Guest Check

Tags: Nina first person POV train of consciousness, suicidal thoughts, self harm, substance abuse, it's a heavy one, sorry

The year I was born was the year that the government made it so that paracetamol had to be sold in blister packs rather than bottles. It was meant to prevent suicides as opening up individual packs was harder and gave a person more time to think. I want nothing more than to kill myself every time I have to dig my nail in to pop the foil but whatever. It worked, at least from what I've been told, never bothered to actually look it up.

Paracetamol poisoning is lousy fucking way to go anyways. Very English to choose a slow and miserable death. On par with the other preferred, yet slow, method of alcoholism. Nothing beats a destroyed liver and kidneys, I suppose.

I decided years ago how I'd kill myself. I won't mention it here in case someone gets nosy and gets me sectioned. It's not something I dwell on, but it feels like a back up plan, I guess. Like how some women have a secret cash fund in case their boyfriend beats them, I have my suicide plan.

I don't want to kill myself. More out of not wanting to hurt Kyle than anything else. It also seems like too much work most days. Why kill myself when I can drink a bottle of wine and curl up in bed?

There are rough days.

Like a spring is being compressed inside me and one day it'll release in some violent display against myself. I have to gently release the pressure. Always quietly. Always invisibly. Fear of my father trumped all other emotions growing up.

Plucking body hair (avoid the face!) and skin picking and scratching (avoid face and hands!) being two particular favorites of mine. One pair of tweezers can reliably do both. Sit in the tub to clean away any hair, skin or blood. Come out and present myself like the glossy, red eyed girl I am.

It's my biggest secret, strangely proud of that. Kyle doesn't know, despite once walking in on me aggressively plucking arm pit hair out (Do you not own a razor, you weirdo?). Growing up in the early era of "mental health awareness" that hammered in this behavior was not done for attention. That only made me feel worse as a teen, who fantasied whole heartedly about her father walking in on her, razor in hand, who would then fall to his knees and sob out apologies for not paying enough attention to her to notice. I never good at getting his attention in the first place so feeling like it was faux pas only increased my covert skills.

None of that helps with the post pain shame. The patheticness of it all. If I was a man I could simply punch a whole in the wall and break my fist. I don't want any more pity. My family is already dead.

Everyone looks at me different now. i try to act like it doesn't bother me and most of the time it doesn't. I'm not really friends with the rest of the staff at work.

It's Kyle though. Twenty odd years of friendship and he looks at me differently. I don't know if its pity or something else but I hate it. It's like he gets sad looking at me. I don't want to be that. Sex was never rough rough but now its like he doesn't want to break me, like he's afraid to touch me.

We broke up. I couldn't fucking do it. It was like chewing glass.

The only person who doesn't look at me differently, abiet he rarely looks at me at all, is Simon. Maybe it's why I let him take me home and basically give him free reign.

I don't have to think about it. I don't have to worry about him telling me he loves me. I don't have to worry about disappointing him. It might be because he doesn't actually like me so nothing I do will make him think less of me. I can just lay there. He does the work to make me cum and that's it. Wears a condom without complaint too.

It's easy.

He doesn't stay the night, which is fine, I can just enjoy myself with a bottle of wine in bed.

Tag List: @queen-ilmaree@macravishedbymactavish@gogh-with-the-flow@water-bearz @pvssytrux

[horizon-verizon]

I agree with you that the show is bad in terms of writing and characterization, and probably i won't even watch the next season, but if I'm being honest you seem to hate the show so much why are you still searching for posts related to the show and respond to it if it's bother you this much?

FIRST

I don't actively or habitually search for the show or anything related to it in Tumblr with the purpose of fighting with others or proving how smart I am.

I do reblog with corrections, counterarguments, or praise if I feel strongly enough about what's being said AND if I have the energy

posts about it pop up in my feed in the "Based on what you liked!" list because I don't block their tags

OR I get asks about the show's characters and/or writing.

I write of the main experience I have to write against the claim that I "search" for HotD posts as if it is a continuous action. This is what usually happens. And the person sending the asks about HotD are usually those who only ever watched the show and never read the books, are antis, or have skimmed the books and read the wikis instead of actually doing some independent thought and deeper research with comparative analyses.

It is less common/rare for me to begin a discussion from an original green stans or an avid HotD lover. *EDIT* Now, as of 2023, there are asks with links to posts by others (mostly made by green stans) that the asker asks me to consider/think about and respond. I mostly respond to those already responding to others or to those who make comments and reblogs of my own posts, like what happened in my Sansa POST and one Daemon/Nettles POST.

I’m saying, anon, that it could be a lot worse. I could become a greater menace to others on this blog than you presently think.

SECOND

Before I started writing original posts or answers to asks, I collected various team black and team green posts, and I still do so today. Why? Because I actually wanted/still want to know the arguments each team makes. Because in general, I like and want to hear how people think about things.

I came to Tumblr wanting to collect posts and make a blog I can use to reference material and arguments but still have more personal freedoms to do this. (Which is also why I refuse to put “anti” tags just for the sake of “politeness”.)

I basically want to make my blog a reference point thus I will force myself to add stuff about HotD/greens’ opinions as much as I can stomach.

I want to know what logic they present, where does it fall short, what maybe-good points they make, how much they actually know about history, human psychology -- how much I know and need to know about somethings after reading, etc.

Which is related and goes into my next reason....

THIRD

It’s not a matter of superficial “like” and “dislike”. The show “bothers” me more than a matter of bad writing and bad characterization.

After watching the show, you get more people feeling justified by their already existing illiteracy/refusal to learn (beyond their conservatism) and their theories about the canon material. (POST).

You even get people mixing up the show’s events and portrayals and changes with the canon, thus there are people out there with ideas of what this story/part of the Westerosi history is about when they are simply ill-informed or dead wrong.

It’s twisting the narrative, checking all the boxes, to make it more “modern”, “palatable” to performative activism, or/and (thus) make it a lot more marketable to more people. To follow up and revitalize the fervor for the horrid ending of GoT (which was itself sexist as hell) without actually keeping the substance and philosophical/political weight of the original story that lets us know the greens were the unequivocal villains.

Here are a few reblogs/posts/articles by me and others about the actors, marketability, how HotD fails at some things, etc.: POST, POST (you can go to the “performative activism” part), POST, POST, POST, POST (you should really get into this one, it begins to explain how the writing itself doesn’t support accountability), POST, POST, POST, POST, POST,  POST (this one talks about Hollywood and Rhaenyra and feminism). Your choice to read all or a few or none.

And after listening to the “neutrals” AND what non “neutrals” say about “neutrals” (of both teams), I found that there is no such thing as a “neutral” unless you really never or never watched/read any ASoIaF product and thus have no existing opinion about its themes and characters and events. But then you’re not a fan, you’re just someone who knows the fandom exists.

Unless you are like the former brideoffires (Tumblr)/starlight and seafoam (Twitter), who looks at the F&B characters--esp Rhaenyra--as set up to Dany's story and recognize the larger composite picture of misogyny-leads-to-great conflict/Dany-is-the-fixture (to put it very simply).

When you read about the Dance and if you know anything about civil wars and how/why they happen, you should know that you can almost never philosophically or ideologically not pick or at least favor a side. It’s nearly impossible once we are acquainted with why the sides are fighting and the historical details of how this civil conflict happened in the first place, specifically when one side has done nothing to the other before, nor present any true, future threat. Of course things change, as they do in the Dance where the sides commit war crime after war crime & lose more of their own kids, but it was very clear the greens began it through the sexist usurpation to gain power for themselves; they also had little to actually fear from either Rhaenyra or any lord if she had ascended peacefully.

Again, unless we don't know, we can't fully care, and once you start actually caring, then you take a side and form strong opinions. In civil wars, there exists hatred or the need for dominance within the territory itself and it usually comes from a particular background that cannot be ignored but can also be messy and conflicting.

Plus, I found that most of the neutrals (not all, one still has to listen to why one says they are "neutral") are really people who think the greens are in the moral right, are the “fun” and “better-developed” characters, or are the more politically savvy. Yet also refuse to look any deeper to see how their arguments make no sense for the story the show rips off of. Basically, team-greeners who refuse or don’t know they are wearing the cape, or are trying to hide it to make team blackers look stupid or get one on them and seem “reasonable” while actually trying to push forward this narrative of “soft femininity wins all”, conservatism, conformity, patriarchy, etc. 

This following is only in the observation that there are sympathy-changes made for them while the blacks and Rhaenyra are not only similarly dumbed down but also the writers have been trying to assign them certain negative traits or behaviors that can't be feasible as to what we understand them before the show existed.

HotD is actually fostering that sort of bullshit with its refusal to:

**(in context of the next 3 pts.)**Alicent and Aemond as they are: entitled, sexist, classist, blood purist people who intentionally attack and target Rhaenyra for the sake of power and male privilege

working behind the faux romance/friendship of Rhaenicent.

dumbing Rhaenyra down, watering her passion down

removing almost every character's accountability or drive for power (female for this one) by making them more reactive than active and even then there not much of a substantial or meaningful reaction

sexistly making Alicent a dumber and more sexually abused version of herself, giving all of her accomplishments or actions to her father, Otto. Benevolent sexism.

Thus I cannot ignore the show or its glaring faults. It has such popularity and influence over how people think about women, children, who deserves what and how/why, and how people express themselves and live with such cognitive dissonance, that I feel I have to say something against it. Even if it’s a dumb Tumblr post.

[beautifulhigh]

Tagged by @iboatedhere​ and @rmd-writes​

Rules: Post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

she has almost killed me with love for that boy

He doesn't know where this feeling has come from but it's not going away. He's pretty sure he doesn't want it to go away: not now, not ever.

the small roar of a mind trying to clear itself 

"I don't even know why I'm here," Carlos said. "Well, no. I know why I'm here. I just don't know what I'm supposed to talk about."

That glamorous love lasts where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine 

TK forced himself to pick up his feet as he walked along the corridor. The loft door was in sight, his keys had been in his hand and primed since entering the building. He was so close. On the other side of that door were the welcoming arms of his fiancé and then a few steps beyond those was the bed and he would probably manage to kick off his shoes before he fell into it and then after that he had no other plans than to sleep until he was woken up for food.

The tender things are those we fold away 

A spokesperson for FDNY confirmed last night that they are officially calling off the so-called hunt for the person behind the popular Only Fans account, New York Firefly.

People keep asking for my address and I keep handing them your name

"I cannot wait to get home," TK sighed, one hand drifting up to his head. The stitches were beginning to itch a little and the urge to claw at his hairline was almost too much to bear.

Life, believe, is not a dream, so dark as sages say 

He looked up as his mom took the seat across from him, her hands folded together in the way she always did before she launched into a topic of conversation she knew he didn't want to have.

In the burned house I am eating breakfast

He’s aware of a lot of noise, maybe someone shouting? But it’s all a bit fuzzy and he just wants to go to sleep and so he does.

Fitting it for what lets me live this death with purpose 

He can feel Carlos' anger, actually feel it. It's radiating from him, rushing out of their bedroom towards where she is.

Tell all the truth but tell it slant, Success in circuit lies

"…and then I relapsed."

"You mean with me?"

"No." TK took a breath, looking away before he said what he needed to say. Carlos deserved the truth, he was clearly looking for something more, something that TK couldn't give him. "I mean with substances."

Putting it out there would change everything. This bit of fun they were supposed to be having would come to an end. Carlos would step back from him; they would become two people whose paths may cross every now and then while on a call and TK would go back to his grey world and trying to find something that made him feel—

But Carlos stayed. TK confessed and Carlos stayed.

That was new.

But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep

TK stirred as the announcement about beginning their decent finished. He started to fold away the blanket, shivering in the cool cabin air. He still didn't like flying all that much, way too many things could go wrong and they say take-off and landing are the 'danger times'. He looked out of the window, seeing the familiar vista of the city down below. He didn't feel any of the emotions he thought he would have felt: he wasn't nervous or worried about being back in the place that had been his home, the place where his life had completely blown up before being packed up and moved to a different state

Tagging @bubblesandroses8 @strandnreyes @paperstorm and anyone else who wants to do it

[slutnali]

From my understanding the people on twitter were more upset with her response to biblegirl, who tweeted something along the lines of “the sooner we accept that most adults do cocaine the better” (not the exact wording, she deleted it now cause the response was overwhelmingly negative, but the sentiment was normalizing cocaine use bc it’s prevelant) and Denali responded “tea”. To me that’s a lot more 🤔what do u mean by that🤔 than anything she said on the podcast.

This is long so I'm adding a read more out of curtesy and also because we are talking about drugs [not very descriptive but still]

I remember seeing that earlier while I was out but don't remember it word for word, wish I did tho

But from what I remember, I thought there was some truth to it. Many people do it, it's not just rampant in the lgbt+ community but everywhere else. Does it make it okay? Absolutely not but from what I took from it is that there's just so much shaming for it and I think harm reduction should be discussed. That's not to say that you should glorify it and I don't think they are, however its such a delicate & complicated topic that people are quick to jump at each others throats defending their stance, etc.. With Nali replying 'teaaa' I think also it has to do with the fandom's reaction to it as well.. like, it always gets weird?

I remember when s13 had been announced and people did their digging and found out about her mugshot etc.. the fandoms reaction gave me an ick because people were very much 'omg how scandalous teeheee 🤭" gossiping and theorizing it... and then again when she'd made a joke about her mugshot on the GITMS segment and then people were actually thirsting over it on twt.. like it was weird imo.. and yeah, she was open about it and to some extent you could argue "she made it our business" but I think this'll probably be the last time she does share about it and I don't think she owes us any more stuff about it if she doesn't want to. That's just me though.

Could the tweet have been worded better? Yeah, but again, the tweet from Biblegirl was deleted and I can't really go in depth. But tbh I don't want to go further into depth or back and forth after this ask and another i have, because this blog is mainly for reading [and occasionally writing] drag race fic and thirsting over my faves.

There def is a discussion to be had when it comes to people who have used it and people entirely against it, and there's many points to be shared on both sides. I've seen some of it while I was scrolling twt a while ago bc I follow a bunch of dr girls [obvs] and local queens.

As for Denali, if you no longer want to support her that's fine and your right. If you need/want to separate yourself from that, do it and if you're a follower or mutual of mine that wants to unfollow me there's no hard feelings. If you do wanna keep following me you can black list 'denali foxx' and 'denali' so you wont see posts with her tag. I cant speak for everyone else who may not tag but I can for my blog because I always use them and tag accordingly.

Drug use and talk happens and it's not a cancelable offense, in my opinion at least. There are many many queens who openly talk about substance use but I rarely even see anyone bring it up: Willow and a bunch of s14 girls doing shrooms, Camden talking about how blackout she was while touring last year and not knowing how she got safe to her hotel room, Sasha C mimes sniffing coke or smoking on stage, all the open stoners, etc.. when it comes to this and other topics people are very pick and choose when it comes to their faves so idk..

but again, this is all my opinion and ramble and its okay if we have a difference.

[onewomancitadel]

I always lie when I say it's my last post on something. The question of the structure of romance which either leads or ends with a kiss and love confession is really interesting to me because it's kind of taken as a foregone conclusion. A corollary of this might be the reveal of the murderer in the murder mystery. That's the direction the genre has to take because the entire point is figuring out the mystery and/or the realisation of feelings. This becomes a little dicey when talking about the various different romance genres and romance subplots (see more under my romance tag) especially because there are stories which expect the kiss to happen within the first act of the story, with physical intimacy and/or confession of feelings to happen therein, followed by a third act breakup and then reconcilliation.

I would personally view the slow burn as superior, but I think it's probably true that unlike the murder mystery, the payoff of romance can be a little more elastic. A lot of romance subplots will now skirt around build-up and then work to break up the pair as quickly as possible because it's hard to write romance well and believably (and the broader tropes of it are better understood than its actual substance) and since it's assumed couples in stable relationships are boring and/or hard to write for, the couple has to immediately be broken up. You see symptoms of this in the third act breakup which is basically necessitated for the dramatic payoff at the end when you don't have a slow burn on your hands.

Is the kiss and feelings confession the necessary third act payoff? I actually don't know. I think that this is something you could argue is contingent upon the story you're telling. There might be different, grander gestures, and equally it might just be worth considering what works for your characters. On the other hand I think that there is a reason structural rules like these exist because it gives form to the genre and after all, romantic relationships are defined by their beginning... on the other hand, what about their middle? That is actually hard to write, for what it's worth, and to maintain tension. Tension is key.

What immediately comes to mind for me, in the murder mystery comparison, is The Secret History, which is a reverse murder mystery. That it's possible to write something I would view as being pretty tightly genre constrained in a unique way (certainly not in a common way) suggests something, at a bare minimum, interesting about the expected conventions of something you'd ordinarily expect unswayable. Of course, what's unique is that it's a reverse of the murder mystery because of who commits what and why, and its structure is grounded in Greek tragedy. By contrast, romance doesn't have such distance between its agents (the detective can be swapped with the murderer and radically alter things) which really would mean it's little more than a perspective swap. But maybe the question lies less in that and more to do with, what is the fundamental question I'm asking about how their relationship ought to evolve? What does it narratively realise? Of course - the one question you need to answer - what's keeping them apart?

But I think the more urgent address when it comes to romance is its character- and plot-intelligibility, less so its trope-laden points and structural necessities. It's pretty natural that the feelings confession - in whatever form that takes, whether that is actually verbal or not - and the kiss happening on the terms of the needs of the characters will guide you in the right direction anyway. I also especially want romance to be present at every point, believably, in that character's emotional world - not cordoned off to the kiss or the feelings confession - I want them to be thinking and feeling in a realistic way, according to the way they would (character-wise) express those feelings. So the confession is less about strict verbalisation, and more about the communication of the characters and what's keeping them apart and what isn't now. It all comes back to mechanical questions.

[harleyacoincidence]

Just realized that I never did an actual writeblr introduction. Whoops. Anyway!

No idea how to format this, but we're here now and there's no time like the present.

Hello writeblr, I've been with you for almost a year now (I think). You can call me Harley, and I've been writing as long as I can remember. While the stories I wrote back in elementary school aren't the best, I am still proud of how much I've improved since starting out. I've kept a few WIPs I worked on in high school (those are being finished and edited), as well as a few others I started in the past few years.

Speaking of which, here are some original WIPs you might find featured on here (whether as part of tag games, asks, or random snippets):

Tales of the Unfortunate Summoner - Demons, humans, and trauma galore! Yes, I finally named the WIP with the niece-uncle relationship between a human (Henriette) and demon (Hadeon), featuring nobody's favourite former Shakespeare demon, Blaise. If you enjoy more modern fantasy, this might be the one for you. Once I finish writing and editing it so it's up to standard, of course.

Love Corrupts Fresh Lilies (often shortened to LCFL, due to laziness) - Ah yes, another instance of "idiot protagonist messes up and now everything's destroyed"! Meet Rafflesia, the poor mistreated girl who finds herself lost in some bizarre world after escaping her cousin, Jacob. She soon becomes corrupted and ends up a machine of mass destruction. Well, that's the plan, if I ever finish it. If you enjoy dark fantasy and dark romance, you might enjoy this.

The Devoted Musician - Wow! An analog horror series based on other horror media, how original! Well, it's been seven years in the making and I'm hoping it turns out alright. If you enjoy graphic horror media, ghosts, curses, and comic relief brought to you by deceased teenagers, this is something you might be interested in. It will be available on YouTube (with the next episode coming out VERY soon), and I will post the links to the videos on here as well.

Undying Service - I've barely outlined this WIP, due to focusing on my larger projects (see items 2 and 3 on this list), but here's the gist: altar server dies and is buried in a church, which they haunt to annoy members of the clergy as well as other religious folk. They might fix the occasional thing, but this is a mystery/satire, so we can't have too much of that.

Organized Obsession - This WIP has a better outline than Undying Service (at this point, literally anything does), as well as some characters. If you saw the poll that involved "fandom discourse but turned up to 11", that's this one. This WIP has some dystopian elements to it, but is also a satire (taken more seriously, unfortunately). I don't want to spoil too much, but in this world, taking sides is a must if you want to survive.

I'm going to be releasing a WIP crash course soon (along with the next episode of The Devoted Musician, which will have a bit more substance), so stay tuned!

I hope to meet more mutuals and people to follow, and the ones that I have are the best writers I've ever had the pleasure of interacting with. If you have questions about any of my WIPs, feel free to send me an ask or tag me in a game! I try my best to respond to those as soon as I can.

(Also, obviously I have more things planned, such as smaller WIPs, possibly sharing completed works, ARGs, and even a game...but those are stories for another time.)

[marginaletchings]

10 FANDOM GRIPES/ADVICE

Actually now that I’m on my fandom bullshit again here’s some general gripes I think any fandom can identify with:

1. Your headcanon/interpretation of canon is not canon. You will be much happier if you stop seeing everyone else in bad faith and being aggressive or passive-aggressive to people who don’t share your same interpretation/headcanon. Trust me, your drama levels will decrease if you put this into practice.

2. Just because you dislike something doesn’t mean it’s bad. Just because you like something doesn’t mean it’s good. This also goes for other people, too. Some people enjoy garbage and they know it’s garbage-- do NOT confuse them with the people who don’t understand something is garbage and are obnoxious about it. The former hate the latter too, believe me.

3. Loving something in spite of how poorly executed/written it is, is a thing. Loving something because of the potential it could’ve had is a thing. But you have to be willing to admit that your hope for a piece of media’s potential does not equate a good execution on the part of the creator(s). And once again, just because there’s some good substance there, does not mean it is above reproach or critique.

4. Critique/criticism are NOT BAD THINGS. I know it can be all too easy to take critique as “shit people have to say that’s always negative” and frankly, a lot, a LOT of “critique” is just unbalanced complaints levied in an aggressive, unfriendly manner. However! Actual media analysis is so, so much more than that. Taking apart a piece of media and figuring out how it works and why, both in-universe and out-of-universe and taking production factors into account, is FUN. Adding context to media is FUN. “Critic” is a dirty word these days, but frankly, I wish we could start turning that around. It feels like fandom is so fucking allergic to genuine civil discourse and critical thought these days and it doesn’t have to be that way. Listen: Learning about your favorite media and why it’s your favorite is actually super fun and great, and part of that is understanding its flaws as well as its highlights. When you really love a piece of media, you learn to love it, warts and all; and loving something despite its flaws (and in some cases because of them) is not an endorsement of those flaws, nor is it problematic behavior.

5. It’s okay to like antagonists/unhealthy character dynamics, HOWEVER, you need to understand WHY they are an antagonist, and WHY those dynamics are unhealthy. There is a difference between thinking Griffith from Berserk is a fascinating character study vs saying Griffith did nothing wrong and he’s your precious little meow meow. Frankly, it’s fucking obnoxious to see antag and/or villain stans go ham on things because they start romanticizing that character’s behavior, and then the antis come out, and then everything gets polarized. Like... y’all, there’s such a thing as not going to extremes, you know that, right? Can we not embrace a character, flaws and all, and understand why they suck and still like them anyway? Self-awareness is a GOOD THING.

6. Fucking touch some grass. No, really, I mean it. Get off your computer/phone. Go do something non-digital. Take deep breaths. Tell a loved one that you love them. Pet your dog, cat, lizard, or whatever other animal you have that can be petted. It will do you some good. The internet will be here when you get back. Twitter and Insta and Tumblr can fucking wait while you take some non-screen time to yourself.

7. Don’t go into tags to shout about how you hate X or Y ship/thing. Years ago I saw a post about how it’s like, going into the blueberry muffins aisle, and loudly complaining about blueberry muffins and how they suck. None of us fucking care what you have to say, we are here for blueberry muffins, and you are clearly here for drama and shit-stirring. Fucking stop. Being like UM, REBLOG IF YOU DON’T LIKE X!!! in the #x tag, is peak basic bitch behavior. You will be much happier and more chill if you learn to just let people like the things they like, I PROMISE you.

Also, people posting in general or gushing about a ship does not constitute as them pushing it on you. If you don’t want to see anything about a ship, block the tag and keywords, it’s that simple. 

Frankly, even if you’re outside a ship tag and you start talking about how a certain dynamic is clearly familial/platonic, apropos of ENTIRELY nothing, it makes you come off like a rainbow-ass clown with a passive aggressive bone to pick. Stop fucking vagueblogging. Shit or get off the pot or get over whatever weird hateboner you have and Move. On.

8. Let people write their nasty OOC toxic smutfic. As long as it has appropriate warnings and tags, and isn’t catering to nasty p*doshit (literal adults and literal children), then fucking let. It. Go. No one is being hurt by this. It is fictional. IT. IS. FICTIONAL. 

9. Let adults have their safe fandom spaces, and let minors have theirs. I know there’s going to be overlap, especially for groups that are in their late teens/early 20s. Overlap is okay, it’s fine, whatever. But for the love of God, PLEASE respect the boundaries of others-- if you are 18+, don’t go into spaces for minors. Vice versa, do not go into spaces that are 18+ if you are not 18+. 

10. Learn to curate your online experience. Stop leaving it up to the algorithms. Learn to block tags, accounts, keywords, etc. I myself have legitimate triggers from trauma and instead of demanding the world bend over backwards to never ever talk about content that might make me uncomfortable, I take the initiative and protect myself first. If I see something that got through that filter, I’m not going to scream and cry about it--it was not a moral failing on the part of the poster, even if they forgot to put up a tag. Shit like this happens and part of living with triggers and discomforts is learning to cope with them when we can’t remove them or ourselves. You will be far happier if you stop following blogs/accounts/hashtags that make you upset.

[eclecticluminarydream]

11 "Faux Pas" That Are Actually Okay to Make With Your does hhc show up on a drug test

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[fullscoreshenanigans]

While I definitely do not disagree with the top choice,

#I based this off of which villain needs the most expansion (in my opinion) #and as much as I’d love more from the demons#his prominence means that ​the lack of Peter coverage is actively damaging to the story #like. he’s the ‘final boss’ and we don’t know anything about him until the last possible moment #he’s also yet another antagonist that has far more to do with Norman than with Emma or Ray #so more substance and nuance to that dynamic would have helped to sell it #especially since it’s set up and then never developed on-page #anyway as it is Peter Ratri does not deserve to be as interesting as he is #I cared way too much about his death for the amount of time he got and I’m still a smidge salty about it #*pause to daydream about a potential ‘human world’ arc* #*wherein Peter’s final taunt actually means something* #*and he still casts something of a shadow over the search for Emma as the kids work through living in a fully-human but just-as-bent world* #tldr I want to justify Peter’s importance without speedrunning absolutely everything he’s remotely associated with (via @esthelle18)

Really feeling these tags.

#this was really really hard lol. but. #i voted Norman and Peter #Norman and Isabella was a really close second but i think we’re given enough information and interactions to read between the lines #but as a Norman Ratri enjoyer I literally NEED to have more canon information on the dynamic between him and Peter #like what if Norman Ratri is entirely a delusion on Peter’s part? projecting the brother he killed onto this kid who eventually #takes up the mantle.. feels as if he’s destined to be Bad #do you see my vision #this actually doesn’t even align with my personal favorite take on Norman Ratri but there’s so much to explore #but also i think the Demon God taunts Emma in the post-canon and Leuvis daydreams about Yuugo and Lucas…. #like i said this was really really hard lol (via @emmaspolaroid)

As well as these.

(x; also more Norman Ratri ramblings.)

#really tough decision because almost all of them are so interesting to me and are definitely lacking #but my vote goes out to Lucas and Leuvis #like. this guy ripped Lucas' arm off. and still the boy managed to crawl away? #hello? Leuvis what were you doing?! XD #I just want to know how Lucas adapted to his now arm-less lifestyle #and how often he cursed this demon when his shoulder and scars were hurting #whenever one or more child(ren) wouldn't come back one day #whenever he heard screams outside and couldn't do anything but cover in anger and fear #so much fear and hate. eating Lucas up inside #but unlike Yuugo he found a way to survive this #yet never forgiving nor forgetting #plus Leuvis potencially learning Lucas is no more #after hiding from him (and only him ^^) for all these years #must have been a blow to learn #wait. did Leuvis ever learn? probably not #oh how sad. my heart is broken once again </3 (via @officersnickers)

November 14, 2047 truly set to be one of the worst days of Leuvis' life when he's informed of this.

And I am always going to be bitter over nothing happening to Phil after that conversation in chapter 100. Besides the trauma of carrying the secret of the house for two years on his tiny shoulders with no one to talk to.

Somewhat stretching definitions here but whatever

Plugging my Lambda Phil AU and Norman Ratri & Peter musings because while I think Norman has way too much going on in canonto through another convoluted layer onto to it I absolutely love the thought of Peter taking a more direct, hands-on approach to interacting with him to contrast with the less dysfunctional parent-child relationship Emma and Ray have with Lucas and Yuugo.

While Mujika and Sonju both have a shared conflict with Legravalima that could be expanded upon, Sonju's individual one with her felt like more of an asspull, whereas Mujika's one could reasonably predict the angle of earlier.

Pictures below the cut:

[innepttia]

@spookyvalentine has this wonderful “50 questions about Shepard” list. They posted about it in our discord and the chat BLEW UP. So here we are with the most information ever about:

Maeve Shepard

TW: mentions of alcohol abuse

(Art by Twitter: Maitimo and tumblr: @point-maitimo )

1. Why did Shepard enlist? Any regrets?

OH YEAH - so many regrets. She enlisted because her parents were in the Alliance, but if she could have sat on a beach or in a remote cottage in the middle of a forest and listen to nature she would have been happier. But seeing as she has a spacer history, she’s not actually entirely sure how true that is. She’s never been to any of those places if it wasn’t for a mission.

2. How does your Shepard feel about having a yeoman assigned to them in 2? And in 3?

No thoughts. She accepts it, as she accepts the entirety of the crew she doesn’t get to pick.

3. What’s their relationship with Anderson?

I think everyone is going to hate me when I say this but… he’s just her coworker/boss. They’re a little friendlier than a regular colleague, but until he gives her his old apartment, she didn’t think they were good friends outside of work.

4. Is your Shepard any good at poker?

She’s not actually good at poker, but she is good at reading people, which makes up 90% of the game.

5. How well does Shepard know their crew? Not just the companions, but the folks making up the Normandy

She thinks she knows them well (I’m writing my Mass Effect Lower Decks (MELD) fic with Maeve as the Shepard). I mean she’s absolutely convinced she knows every single person, but at the beginning of ME2, hell no. At the end of ME2 (and at the end of my MELD fic), yes.

6. Initial reaction to EDI? Does it change?

Oh, she absolutely loves EDI. She’s engineer class, so AIs are quite a passion project for her, and now her ship has one? Fucking dope.

7. Does their love interest move into their quarters?

No, but he sure as fuck spends most of his time there.

8. What is their reaction to the Alchera mission? And after?

Before she goes down, she thinks it’s pandering. She thinks that the Alliance is trying to pacify her for something and she’s not entirely sure what, but she’s suspicious.

Afterwards, she’s a crying mess with a handful of dog tags and her old helmet and wants to be left alone in her cabin.

9. What type of fighter is your shepard? Do they fight with honor, or do they fight dirty

She will fight so dirty, like she will throw pocket sand in your face if she could.

10. Does Shepard keep any pets? The hamster, fish, something else?

No pets and if I could resist the hamster and fish in game, Shepard wouldn’t have any pets at all. She’s very aware she’s off to go fight in a suicide mission/war, so she doesn’t necessarily want to have more responsibility than she already has.

11. What order does Shepard pick up companions in me2?

Oh my god what a question lmao.

Zaeed and Kasumi (easiest ones), Garrus, Mordin, Jack, Grunt, Thane, Samara, Tali, Legion

12. Does Shepard have any nicknames? What do they think of em?

The aliens that can’t pronounce her name (excuse me, an a and an e RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER?!) call her M. She thinks it’s cool because of James Bond.

13. How does your Shep react to teasing/ribbing?

Teases them right back. She’s got a sharp tongue, but she knows when to stop so she doesn’t hurt anyones feelings.

14. Any good at flirting?

Middle ground on this one, I think. She’s good at picking people up at a bar, but once the flirting has to continue more than a couple minutes, she loses steam.

15. What colors does Shepard prefer for their armor?

The typical N7 colors: red, white and black.

After the war (and mentioned in my indoctrination fic), she changes her colors to match Thane 🥺: emerald and black.

16. Is Shepard a drinker? History of other substances? Do they struggle with sobriety

Oh boy. Yeah she’s a drinker. It was mostly social in ME1 and before, but after she died in the beginning of ME2, she hit the bottle hard. I have a little of Maeve written into my nameless Shepard in my Lungs fic, so if that tells you anything… She ends up swapping her drinking for a much more fun substance to abuse (drell venom).

Then she gets put in the brig for six months, is forced to sober up, and in the beginning of ME3 she’s clean. Haven’t quite decided what happens after that though.

17. How does Shepard react to attention? Do they enjoy it?

Maeve is used to it. She doesn't really think about it anymore.

18. Who’s the dream team? Which companions does Shepard fight best with and why?

I’m a fuckin simpleton and the dream team is Thane and Garrus. Maeve likes to be up close and personal so if she had a couple of long range snipers at her back… 🤌🏼

19. Are there any companions your Shepard just absolutely cannot vibe with or relate to

In ME2, she’s not a big fan of talking to Miranda and Jacob (whoops that’s mostly my fault because I am always so hype for ALL THE SQUAD) but she pretty much vibes with everyone. Get a couple drinks in her and it doesn't matter who she’s talking to.

20. Does Shepard enjoy looking for resources and upgrading gear, or do they see it as a chore?

She enjoys it! It’s the only thing in ME2 that makes her sleepy. 😂

21. Do you have any AUs for your shepard?

YAAAAHHHHHHHHH. Working on one now - an indoctrination fic. Although, is that really an AU? But I just got comfortable including her in my fics (usually used default Jane Shepard to be on the safe side) so hopefully more to come!

22. What’s the last thing Shepard ate before the final reaper showdown?

Holy shit I’ve never thought about this question. I saved this one for last and… honestly I think the last meal she ate would have been before killing Kai Leng, so it would be whatever is on the ship… probably some packet ramen? Just a quick wham bam meal. She was too focused on wrapping up her life at the end.

24. Who does Shepard turn to for advice? For comfort? Who do they like to gossip with

These are all different answers.

Advice: Samara (bruh she has a thousand years of morally grey choices to advise upon)

Comfort: Thane (he’s ALSO her best friend on top of being her LI)

Gossip: Kasumi (hands down the best choice)

25. How emotionally articulate is your Shepard? Do they emote well?

She’s funny, a lot of dry humor, but she’s emotionally constipated.

ME1, she was more liberal with her emotions, she smiled actual genuine smiles.

ME2, she’s more of a shark. Her smiles aren’t as real, mostly forced from a life that she previously knew. Maeve keeps her emotions real close to her chest.

ME3, uhhh honestly she’s just an entire mess. She’s sober for the first time in what feels like forever and it is actually not liberating for her. She’s constantly second guessing herself, she’s got the blood of millions on her hands, and she’s once more responsible for her crew’s safety on another suicide mission.

26. Does your Shepard have a romance? Who are they, and what drew Shep to them?

*shouts from the rooftops like Christian in Moulin Rouge* THANE! She falls hard for that little assassin dude. He glares at her during his recruitment mission and she’s like, oh my god am I in love?

He’s dark, mysterious, strangely polite, and also on the same course she seems to be. Both are barreling towards their deaths at an alarming speed.

27. Do they have any pet peeves?

Neither her nor I have put any thought to this. I can’t even think of any of my own pet peeves now that this question has been asked 😂

28. What about hyperfixations? What’s the topic that will get Shepard rolling no matter the person or place

Oh man, I feel like my Shepard is just so depressing…

Since ME2 she doesn’t have any hyperfixations. No time to enjoy anything but the people around her.

Prior to ME2, she used to be up on all the most recent video games. She would game online under the username “rogue_protocol” because her favorite book series is the Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells (lmao I’m dragging real life books into this now).

29. How active is Shepard? Are they hitting the gym, playing sports, or do they prefer quieter downtime?

She does go to the gym quite a bit, but she also prefers to read… uhh, when she’s not drinking, that is. 👀

30. What will always make them laugh?

EDI or Legion asking ridiculous questions about “why are organics like this”.

31. Who can always make them laugh?

Joker. There’s a lot of confusing feelings between them, oscillating at all times between wildly inappropriate and platonic. They’re kinda a mess, but neither of them have ever tried to sort out their feelings so in the long run, they’re besties.

32. What do they do when they have hit their limit angry, just incandescent with rage

It doesn’t happen much, or at all yet, but Maeve just goes feral. Verbal or physical, it doesn't matter. She loses it.

33. What skills do they have that are a surprise to the people around them?

Not sure if it’s a surprise she can do this, but more of a surprise that she does do this… she likes to tinker around and repair circuits and panels. She was building a new computer from scratch in ME2 whenever her thoughts got too loud and liquor didn’t quiet them, but it never got finished because, well, she got arrested. (Very Anakin-Skywalker-fixing-droids-esque.)

34. Got any tattoos?

I WISH! I wrote one fic with a Shep with tattoos and was constantly forgetting about them lol so it’s easier for my tiny brain if she doesn’t. And this is coming from a person with like… a lot of tattoos lmao

35. Which companions have they lost? How do they cope with it?

Maeve has only lost their companion on Virmire (don’t @ me, I still, to this day, can’t decide who officially lives) and Mordin and Thane in their forced death in ME3. She loses no one in ME2 (I can’t stomach losing anyone that I spent all game getting close to) but the people she does lose, it hits her hard. She does not cope well. Especially with Thane. The loss of Thane is what really triggers her in my Indoctrination AU fic.

36. Do they like to style their hair, wear makeup and jewelry? How do they feel about getting dressed up?

She would prefer to go natural with her hair, no makeup and no jewelry. UNLESS she’s dressing up, which she does enjoy doing. Her parents used to bring her to the Alliance military balls every year, so she’s pretty used to it.

But she would prefer to have her wavy hair down or clipped back out of her eyes. She never got quite comfortable wearing sweats around her crew until ME2. Then she said fuck it and wore whatever the fuck she wanted.

37. Got any bad habits?

No - lol actually probably but both her and I are biased towards her and think she’s perfect (if you don’t count the drinking, but honestly that’s a big one 😂)

38. Does Shepard do any activities with the companions and crew during downtime?

Maeve likes to enforce mandatory shore leave. She can be found either stuffing her face full of delicious food, trying to convince Thane to take his shirt off and sunbathe (if it’s a sunny planet) with her, or at a bar.

39. Do they keep around any sentimental items?

After ME2, no.

After the Citadel DLC, only a single artificial white flower in her cabin to remember Thane by.

40. Does your Shepard actually like to collect model ships? If not, what do they display?

Yes!! She loves it, but she’d just as easily not have them. They don’t mean much to her other than they’re fun to look at.

41. How is Shepard with a gun? What about hand to hand?

She prefers hand to hand combat. Maeve is fine with a gun, but prefers lighter guns so she has quicker access to her abilities. She likes to make things explode so if she can set it on fire and then overload it, it’ll no doubt make her laugh.

42. Favorite weapon?

Omni-blade. She loves that little sneaky shit. Oh, and her combat drone. It’s so cute and makes chirping noises and has a flamethrower.

43. Which version of the Normandy do they like best?

Normandy SR-2.

Hates the stupid window above her bed, but loves the freedom she had on this ship.

44. Do they like to rotate out companions for quests? Who do they bring the most?

No because her and I are dumb and fall into a habit of bringing only the sniper squad. In ME3, though, she’s a little more lax, a little more flippant, basically just says, “who wants to come” and the first two that say “me” are the ones she brings (mostly Garrus and Liara).

45. Do they approve of curing the genophage?

Yeah, bro, fuck that noise.

46. Does Shepard allow the rachni to live in me1?

Yes. It wouldn’t rest easy on her conscience if she killed the last living being of a species.

Both Maeve and I: *nervously looking at the Arrival DLC*

47. Does Shepard practice any kind of self-care?

Sometimes she puts moisturizer on her face… but she thinks, why’s self-care matter when you aren’t going to make it to 35 years old?

She’s a little pessimistic.

48. What abilities do they rely on the most in a fight?

Combat drone.

If she’s in battle and her drone is about to be destroyed, she’d rather save up her recharge to bring it back than use any other ability.

After that, it’s overload because there are 8000000 geth at all times.

49. What is Shepard’s happy ending? What’s the dream that keeps em going

Meeting Thane across the sea. I am not even kidding. This depressing shit is her happy ending. I have spent so long building up this story in my head that she didn’t want to be brought back, she didn’t want to be used in another war, she just wanted to be at peace. So, she’s going to do her damned job and save this ungrateful galaxy and hopefully be able to rest with Thane in whatever afterlife Kalahira has for them.

50. Is your Shepard indoctrinated

*HEAVY BREATHING*

(+1: what does Shepard smell like?)

Standard issued soap, grease from digging around in the ship’s engine room or AI core, and lavender because she uses lavender chapstick. Someone once told her that would help calm her thoughts and while it didn’t actually help, she keeps trying.

[whaleofatjme1920]

Dealing With People Who Don't Care (Ticci Toby X F!Reader)

Dealing With People Who Don't Care

[Ticci Toby X F!Reader]

[Warnings: slight language and calls to violence? Bullying, slight yandere behavior]

[AN: Requested from ѕρσσку яανισlι on Quotev! Idk if I'm ready to tell y'all that this was basically my first quarter of college.]

College wasn’t supposed to be like this, at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. When you graduated from high school, you were told that petty drama and catty people were going to fade away because that was high school and this is college. Something new, something for young adults, and something you’d been looking forward to for far, far too long.

Truth be told, in high school, you didn’t really have any problems. You mostly got along with the people you did talk to and aside from a few arcs which you lovingly call ‘character development’, you generally kept your head down and to yourself which allowed you to stay off some of the cruller people’s radars. You were liked when it was necessary but ultimately stuck to yourself.

How did it all go so wrong?

When you first came in on orientation day, you’d met up with a group of girls and bonded on the train ride back to campus. There was a group chat made and you were a ready part of it. You felt nicely about your entire situation because these were nice girls, and they treated you like you held the sun and rose the moon. Is that what positive friendship was like?

For the first few weeks, everything with them was a bliss. Unfortunately, you were the only person from that group in your specific branch and major. This meant that you often spent most of your daylight hours alone or with yourself entirely. The other girls all had majors that were almost word for word the same, and that meant that they spent a lot of time together. Slowly, that had been growing closer and closer to each other and leaving you out.

It came in small doses at first, and you had chalked it up to your nature being so different from theirs. They were much more extroverted than you ever could have been. They were fire, and you were ice. But that did not mean that you were boring, or any less interesting, you were just quieter, preferring to take this just as softly. Wandering around the city with maybe one or two people, talking about the things that matter as opposed to getting wasted in a crowded apartment with fifty people who don’t even care about your wellbeing.

That’s what was different about you than them.

“Hey ladies,” you smile widely as you take your tray of food from the cafeteria to the table where all the girls sat. You notice that they’re all engrossed in conversation but quickly turn to greet you with smiles and waves.

“Hi, Reader! How has your day been?” Maria greets, her fingers gently tugging through her blonde hair. “Me and Georgina were just talking about you.”

Georgina nods and pats the seat next to her for you to sit down. “Yeah, what have you been up to?”

You take a seat next to the redhead and sip from your drink. “It was alright. With midterms coming up though… Little stressed,” you admit as the two girls sitting around you frown in response. “Lots of essays, some minor discussion posts, a group project but we’re just starting it early because it counts for like, 20 percent of our grade and is part of our final,” you say as you stab into your food.

“Oh? A group project?” Georgina asks with a raise of her eyebrow.

You nod. “It’s actually more like a partner project. I’m paired with this guy named Toby? But like, I haven’t seen him yet - he doesn’t show up to class,” you sigh.

“Maybe try emailing the professor,” Maria suggests. “But I’m sure you’ll do just fine,” she hums with a small smile, her hand reaching over and gripping yours warmly.

From there, the conversation that follows has you drifting away. By now, a third girl has joined the conversation and her name is Helena. Helena is also in the same class as you with the group project, but she isn’t as close to you as Georgina and Maria are. She greets you just as warmly but she turns the conversation in a direction you weren’t expecting.

Laughter rings out from the table.

“And that guy from last night?” Georgina giggles.

“He was insane!” Maria adds. “You have to come inside!” She mockingly says before bursting into another fit of giggles.

“And he dressed so weirdly,” Helena continues. “Ratty as all hell jacket and then followed us into the theatre? Asked to show us magic tricks-” she’s not even able to finish her words because she’s laughing much too hard.

You tilt your head slightly. “What happened last night?” You ask.

The girls pause for a moment. “Don’t worry about it,” Georgina says as she swats off your question. “You weren’t there.”

“This was last night?” You ask again.

They nod.

“Yeah, wasn’t anything special,” Maria attempts to shrug off before those three continue with their conversation and inside jokes.

You eat in silence, every now and then smiling and offering forced laughter as you think about what you did last night. You weren’t doing anything, in fact, your roommate went out on a date with her boyfriend and left you in the dorm all along. So, you finished your work a little early and started on some other things, then watched Netflix and fell asleep before midnight. You were free the entire night.

And they didn’t even think to invite you.

From there, you started to notice all the times they forgot about you and excluded you. It carried on in the sloughed off invites, the ‘sorry we can’t meet up for dinner,’ and generally just avoiding you. They had jokes they couldn’t share with you, and you were at their side, they acted like you weren’t even there until it faded into nothing.

Reader: Are you guys doing anything tonight?

Maria is typing…

Maria: no not tonight :(

Reader: oh okay! But if any of you want to come to Target with me or something..? Maria: sorry, I’m busy!

Georgina is typing…

Helena is typing…

After that, they’d left you on read, not even bothering to answer you. Later that night on snapchat, you saw the three of them wandering the city without you, laughing and having a good time.

Instead of talking to them right away, you focused on your classes and your work. And that meant finally tagging down toby.

You’d managed to finally get him in your sight after emailing your professor who struck some type of fear into him. You were able to meet him face to face at a little cafe somewhere off campus.

“Over h-here,” he calls out from near the window of the cafe, waving you towards the back.

You flash him a quick smile and let it fall before finally taking a seat across from him. You’re slightly surprised to see that there’s a cup of hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin is there waiting for you. “Oh, uh, thank you,” you say as you get comfortable.

“It’s n-nothing,” he says with a small smile. “I-I’m sorry for k-keeping you w-w-waiting all t-this time,” he continues in an apologetic tone. “T-Things with my f-family aren’t e-easy right n-now.”

Not wanting to push him, you nod and smile reassuringly. “It’s okay,” you relent. “So, this project..?”

“It’ll b-be a breeze,” he replies. “D-Don’t worry about i-it, yeah?” He picks up his own cup of hot chocolate to fight off the child of mid autumn and nods to you, his dark eyes scanning over your form. “I w-wanna know j-just who I’m w-working with.” He smirks slightly, the corners of his mouth pulling up like a know-it-all cat.

You look into your cup of hot chocolate and shrug. “Nothing too interesting,” you attempt to slide off.

Toby rolls his eyes. “Calling b-bull,” he snorts. “You l-look stressed. W-What’s on your m-m-mind?”

You sigh deeply and relax your body as you think back to the situation with those girls. “It’s nothing.”

Toby hums once more but does not push you. Deep down though, he knows something is wrong.

And that’s how it carries on. You and Toby meet every so often to work on your presentation and your paper together and your so called friends continually leave you in the dust. Before you know it, you’re spending more and more time with Toby than anyone else, and because of that, you don’t feel nearly as alone as you used to.

From Toby’s perspective, he would never tell you what he thought when he first saw you walk through those doors of the cafe to finally meet him in person.

When he first got that email in regards to him not showing up and worrying you, he’d rolled his eyes and pretended it didn’t matter. It was whatever, who cares? Apparently you. With a slight gripe in the back of his head, he looked you up on social media with the help of a friend named Ben and found all that he needed to know just by looking at your profile. He was almost ashamed to admit how enraptured with you he had become. That’s why he was so adamant you met him at a cafe, where he could spend time with just you.

When he saw you walking through the doors, his eyes scanned over every inch of you. You had a slight bounce in your walk despite it being so chilly.

He wondered if you wanted to be warmed up.

You looked so soft in his eyes, so sweet and so alluring. Just your looks alone was all he needed as water for a growing obsession.

Toby is addictive by nature. Seeing you was what allowed that addiction to take off. When he heard your voice? He felt like he was high.

He knew something was wrong with you when you sighed like that. It was a loaded sigh. Of course, after the two of you parted ways for the night and on good terms, he immediately dug into the lives of your so-called ‘friends.’ Let’s just say that damn near instantly, he did not like them.

Maria, a nursing major. He considered her an air head that wouldn’t get anywhere with substance, and saw that she was much more of a party girl than anything else.

Georgina, another nursing major. Also considered her a lost cause.

Helena, a medical assistant major. Toby considered her the worst one, but it didn’t come at first. He found that girl was vile in every sense. The things he’s overhead her saying about other people? Terrible. The things he’s overhead her saying about you? Absolutely unacceptable.

He noticed her whispers that cut like thorns wrapping around you from the shadows as he sat in class near her, but never next to her. He listened to the filth that poured from her mouth and was able to pick up the conversations from her phone like it was nothing.

And all of that? It lit a fire in him, a fire that would eventually burn her down and scorch her until she was nothing but ashes.

You’re about to head to class and present your final project with Toby. You look like a mess, and it’s not just from the lack of sleep because of your other class’s finals, but because you are absolutely emotionally drained and have nothing left to give. You’d finally formally broken up from those girls, but it did not come without tears.

Reader: hey guys, it’s been a little while, but I just wanted to get some things off of my chest before I call it. First and foremost, I want to thank you for the time we did spend together, but I don’t feel safe or happy anymore. These past few weeks have been nothing but straight ice and being left out and I’m just… I’m tired, for a lack of better words. I know that you don’t really want me around anymore, so I thought I’d just nip this one in the bud before it got out of hand or anything like that. I just - whatever, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to offend you.

Georgina is typing…

Georgina: Honestly don’t take this the wrong way but you legitimately brought this all onto yourself.

Georgina: you don’t really talk to us the way that we talk to each other

Reader: but you literally never gave me a chance???

Maria: shes right tho,,,,, like, you just always kept to yourself. You didnt really give us anything to go off of

Georgina: right??? And it’s not like she’d actually do any of the things we wanted to do either

Reader: I’m sorry but like, I offered for you guys to come do some things with me and I even asked for you to tell me when you guys were making plans - I would have gone out

Helena: does it even matter now though? You brought literally all of this onto yourself there’s no use for you to just beg us for you to come back lol. Just stop while you’re ahead

Helena: you were never really there to begin with tbh you just kinda existed

Maria: exactly that! Like im glad we’re getting stuff off our chest because omg did you get on my nerves. Always quiet and just watching??? Never saying anything??

Georgina: RIGHT It was like a literal ghost in the room LMFAO

Reader: are you fucking serious right now?

Reader: you’re going to act like this?

Maria: you brought it on yourself

Helena: it was bound to happen

Reader: I cannot believe you guys are acting like such assholes right now

Maria: you did it first though?????

Helena: ^^^^

Georgina: ^^^^

From there, the conversation had delved into them throwing all of their problems onto you. It honestly felt like projecting, but you had a class to go to and project to present and no time to cry.

You wiped your tears, got ready for the day and headed out to your building from out of your dorm. Soon, you would be on break and away from this place that’s driving you up a wall.

You walked across campus and plastered a faint smile on your face as you continued to move through the nippy air. You enjoyed seeing the leaves as they danced on the flowing air and eventually kissed the sidewalk. You could smell pumpkin spice and the remnants of November. What a beautiful season.

Waiting for you outside of Wendell’s Hall was Toby, hands in his pockets as he leaned up against the wall just beside the door.

“Were you waiting for me?” You ask with a small smile.

“Maybe,” he hums with a small smirk. “C-C’mon, it’s a little c-chilly out here,” he says as he gently shuffles you inside after opening the door for you. He watches you carefully as you walk through the halls and find the elevator to get to the sixth floor.

As the two of you wait for the doors to open, Toby checks you over.

“What?” You say with a small chuckle.

“J-Just checking,” Toby hums. “A-Are you okay?” He asks as the doors open. He nods for you to go in first, and then follows in directly after. He watches your finger press the button for six.

“Why?”

“You s-seem a l-little tense,” he says as he looks over you again, his eyes narrowing in on yours. “I-Is it the p-presentation?”

You hold your hand out and make a ‘so-so’ motion. “I guess,” you reply, attempting to shove off anything that might make you cry again. Your eyes are a little dark, and your skin is still soft from the saline, raw from you rubbing those pearls of water with your sleeves repeatedly.

“You w-wanna talk a-about it l-later?” He asks softly, his hand resting warmly on your shoulder as he brings you into his side.

You look up at him and smile. “We’ll see.”

When the doors open, you and Toby quickly make it to your class and are pleased to see there’s spots open and the two of you can sit together. Toby is quick to snag the seats for the both of you and his warm expression falls when he sees Helena waltzing into the room.

Helena sits a little ways from where you and Toby sit before she wiggles her fingers at you like a nonverbal smile before actually turning her lips up in a fake saccharine smile.

You shift uncomfortably and instead focus on your presentation. You feel a little nervous, mostly because Helena is here and this is also a big chunk of your grade. You’re academically passing with flying colors, but a hiccup like this could spell something bad. You breathe out deeply when you feel Toby’s hand resting on your shoulder, grounding you.

“We g-g-got this,” he says with a small smile, squeezing you lightly. “You w-wwanna get it out of the w-w-ay?”

“No,” you reply suddenly. “I just want to see how this goes.”

Toby nods and turns his attention to the other students that continue to walk through the door. “A-Anything for y-y-you,” he says softly.

You barely hear it, but you smile all the same.

Presentations pass in a pretty boring manner. Your professor seems pleased with everyone that presents, and she offers praise and saves the criticism for emails, but so far, it seems like everyone is doing well! You’re almost fully calm by the time you raise your hand to present but when Helena and her partner begin snickering, your heart sinks to your knees.

“Alright, you two are good to go,” your professor says with a warm, reassuring smile on her face after she pulls up your project on the overhead projector. “Giving the remote to Miss Reader, whenever you two are ready.” She holds the remote out to you and then whispers ‘you’re gonna do great’ before taking her seat in the front row.

You silently thank her for her reassurance and then turn your attention to Toby, who begins the presentation.

You make sure to speak clearly and concisely as you present your project, paying close attention to detail and everything that was outlined on the rubric. You watch your professor’s expression light up brighter and brighter as you carry on with your half of the presentation. It seems that she’s really pleased with the both of you, but especially you!

Your big hiccup comes when the questions part of your presentation comes up.

See, prior to this, the questions portion had been empty and pretty dead. But of course, because Helena is here, she’s dead set on making you flop.

When she starts firing questions, you and Toby answer them to the best of your abilities. Admittedly, you are more than mentally dead at this point. With every question that Helena digs into you, you feel your brain cells dying off at an even faster rate. The lights of the projector bore into you and make you dizzy. You’re just… exhausted.

Helena finally poses a question that makes your face heat up. “So?” She taunts, her eyes looking at you innocently. “I just wanna know,” she continues, her eyes flashing.

You should be able to answer this. It’s so simple and right there in your bank of knowledge you just can’t open the vault.

“Miss Reader..?” Your professor quietly asks, pulling you from your thoughts. “Are you able to-” You shake your head, feeling numb and cold all at the same time. “I’m sorry, no,” you whisper. It was one of the first things you learned in the class and one of the most important.

Your professor nods and mouths, ‘don’t worry,’ before turning to the rest of her class. “Alright then, you two are dismissed. Give them a round of applause for their work.”

The applause surrounds you but you do not feel it, and when you move back to your seat, you can’t help but feel embarrassed. The looks that you get from those around you are of pity and ‘she hasn’t learned anything this quarter, has she?’ It makes your face burn with embarrassment and you feel so unnaturally warm because of it. A rush of emotions comes over you when you see Helena’s shifty glances and hear her insipid giggles and you hurriedly get your things together and bolt out of the classroom.

Toby shoots up when you rush out and he’s not able to catch you. Instead, he sits in for the rest of the class to give you some space and anything else the professor may say. His glare is turned on Helena. When she flashes him that same sickly sweet, mocking smile, he sees red.

Class ends shortly after that, the professor clearly uncomfortable with whatever just happened with Helena and Toby is keeping his ire hidden until what comes after he deals with you. He’s got a few choice things in mind he’d like to do to Helena, mostly spinal disfigurement and popping bones from their joints and scattering them across the country, but he knows he has to play this as slimy as she did. He’s already conjuring up ways to academically cripple her.

Toby pushes those thoughts to the side before he makes his way to your dorm. He’s nodding to the guy at the front desk and running up the stairs to find you faster than his thoughts can even gather. He just wants to make sure you’re okay.

He walks through the hall of your floor before going over the room numbers. He’s only been in your dorm once - the two of you tend to spend time with each other outside of the campus. Twenty four hour McDonalds, out and about in the city, public parks, the two of you just like wandering. When he sees the numbers of your dorm, he internally sighs and knocks. “H-Hey, Reader? Y-You in t-t-there?” He asks as he knocks again.

From inside, you shuffle underneath your sheets. He’s here? You don’t answer.

“I j-just want to make s-sure you’re alright,” he continues in a soft voice. “If you n-need space though, I c-c-can go-” he barely makes the motion to move when you open the door just a crack.

You look up at Toby with dark, puffy eyes. You can’t bring yourself to say anything, but he can see that you’ve been through hell and back emotionally. You look like a mess, in less graceful words.

“Oh g-gods,” he murmurs as you push open the door just a bit more. “R-Reader,” he says softly as he takes you into his arms, his shoe gently pushing the door closed as you wrap your arms around his waist, taking in the scent of graphite and sandalwood as you sob into his chest. “What h-happened, s-sweetheart?” He asks softly as he rocks the two of you back and forth.

You continue to cry into his chest and grip onto the back of his hoodie as he gently maneuvers you to the side of your bed to let your tired body rest. “S-She’s so mean!” You cry as you continue to squeeze your eyes shut, still gripping Toby like he’s the only thing grounding you.

“What h-have they d-d-done to you?” He inquires in a tone just a little louder than a whisper. Internally, he knows he’ll make all three of those demons suffer and leave the school, by any means necessary. He just wants to hear it from you to know how hard he needs to fuck up their lives. Judging by this interaction alone? It’s monumental.

You then go into a painful detailing of everything those girls have ever made you feel, at one point even bringing up the chats you have saved on your phone. Your breathing begins to even, but Toby’s vision grows redder and redder.

He listens to everything you say as you recount your pain to him and he grits his teeth. Especially those chats - those are unforgivable.

You’re exhausted by the time you finally finish telling him everything they’ve made you feel and the things they’ve done to make you feel this way. You finish it with just a few more words. “They make me feel so small,” you admit through sniffles and broken breaths. “They just - they made me feel so left out and so insignificant,” you admit, still wiping away tears.

Toby holds you tighter before one of his hands reaches up to cup your cheek. “N-No! You’re n-not insignificant, you’re e-everything and m-more,” he begins to ramble. “Y-You’re s-s-so smart and p-put together and o-on top of i-it,” he continues, his thumb wiping away your residual tears.

“You’re just saying that-”

“I w-would never,” he cuts you off in a tone that’s more serious than he intended. “I m-mean everything I s-s-say and those g-girls suck. They d-don’t hold a candle to you,” he says as he cups your face.

“Toby…”

Toby hushes you by pressing a soft, almost scared he might spook you kiss to your lips as if he’s testing the waters. When you make no motion to fight him, he presses just a little more fervently before pulling away, leaving you with stars in your eyes. “I’ll handle e-e-everything, okay?” He promises softly, watching as the stars fade to exhaustion. “G-Get some r-r-rest,” he coos.

You allow him to lay you down as he moves the blankets to cover you before he gets up to turn off the lights. “You’re going to handle it?” You whisper as you allow sleep to veil over your body.

“Y-Yes, I’ll handle e-e-everything,” he promises again, flicking the lights off.

Toby fumbles through the dark for just a moment before slipping back into bed with you, allowing you to wrap around him like an octopus. He cradles you in his arms, his lips pressing to your forehead. “Sleepy t-time,” he mumbles as you cuddle into his chest.

You smile softly and feel your body go light, only anchored by Toby’s warm embrace.

[peachpitband]

Ok including a TLDR because I wrote a lot but figured out a succinct way to sum it all up:

TLDR; Why are people so intent on re-stigmatizing terms that the LGBT community had, until relatively recently, worked to destigmatize and reclaim???

Anywhere here’s my more complicated feelings on the bullshit:

1) “Stupid?” Why am I not surprised that you start off by making an unsupported character attack (Only to find it funny that I would make an assumption at the end of the post… Whatever, guess I should’ve expected that total lack of self awareness)

2) I try not to “invalidate” trigger tagging… to a certain extent. I understand people who have an honest to god trigger related to a slur… and if people were to ask me about that stuff, I would tag it. People in online spaces also have the choice to just… unfollow people that post stuff they don’t want to see? I just feel like it’s a valid yet somewhat over-exaggerated issue that, despite being a widely online phenomenon, has leaked out into irl queer spaces in the form of language policing and, yes, literal censorship. I have a problem with this growing push to tag reclaimed slurs as triggers just to tag stuff, without knowing how many people actually have an honest to god problem with it. These “online issues” have, at least in my experience in real life queer spaces (don’t know where you’ve been hanging out, though), been spreading and affecting real life events, queer spaces, and queer people. Which brings me to my next point:

3) I was bringing something up related, though, because the whole online culture of trigger tagging words like that does have an affect on real life queer people in that they have to censor themselves because of pressure from these largely online movements. This is not an exaggeration, it’s a reality. The queer community has worked hard to reclaim terms from bigots (if you identify as a slur, it is one step in taking the power of said slur away from homophobes. Literally every oppressed group has done this with slurs. Not gonna make examples but was hoping you could try to imagine some. Idk it just feels so naive to me to reduce these words to inappropriate “slurs.”)

In the last part of the 20th century, LGBT people worked HARD to widely reclaim these words and it worked! But now, people are out here trigger tagging it and it feels like we’re just spitting on all that effort! Like I hate to say this but at a certain point, especially in 18+ queer spaces, you have to accept the reality that you’re gonna run into these words. If you get past that, maybe you can even begin to imagine the idea that some people have actual relationships to these “slurs” that feel made light of when people reduce them to a dirty word. Yeah, sure, I’m a lesbian. But I primarily identify as a DYKE. I am masculine. I am hairy. I am literally a butch on testosterone. I upset men because I don’t take their shit. I know my history and love foundational loud and proud dykes like leslie feinberg and so many others. It’s a word that feels empowering because it had power against people like me, until myself and so many other queer ladies took it back and made it something so much more. Yeah, I’ll tag it if it causes someone serious discomfort… but those people also need to understand that the act of trigger tagging something that you are is like having to take part in the reduction of your own identity. It might not seem that deep, but like how else do I explain that this “harmless” push to guilt trip everyone into tagging these ~scary~ words has LITERALLY leaked out into the real world. Like I literally just sat with two 70-something lesbian activists last week that talked about this and said that they don’t understand where this is coming from… and these are the ladies that were around before these terms were widely reclaimed in the first place! Ugh!

L + you rely on ad hominem + you focus on semantics rather than substance and argument + here’s two of my fav books from the lesbian archive I work at ❤️❤️

Also included an excerpt from a post I came across that supports the idea that, until the later 2000s, these words were widely accepted in the community until this pretty recent push to restigmatize them!?!?

@peachpitband yeah but that's not what that post said was it... So you were just bringing up something unrelated and looking stupid for it. Lol. Like I was talking specifically about the tagging issue so yeah, it is an online issue. Particularly since the issue at hand is not censoring but trigger tagging which is different.

Very funny to assume I don't hang out in offline LGBT spaces or whatever though.

[katherinewilliams221b]

For the guaranteed honest answer - why 💔 in the katlings post tags???? Im anxiously awaiting the spoilers...

I am surprised to say the least! Okay, so, I think you read too much into that. I wanted yo use a heart with a bandaid but I dont have one or I didnt find it. However, to give you more substance, I still havent decided about the kids situation. I often think about katlings and I love love the idea of her and three or four black kittens following her around but maybe for another potterverse. These are the situations I juggle with:

A single daughter, a pretty much exact copy of Kate, a calm and curious baby that turns into an inquisitive and adventurous kid, much like their parents, who loves spending time with them but also explore on her own, becoming a wonderful woman who is a true 50/50 mix of Charlie and Kate.

This same daughter but with an expected addition to the family! I often think about Kate in a hospital, trying to help a woman with an, unfortunately, uncurable desease (not yet known to the magic or muggle world). In addition, there's always a small boy outside the room, waiting patiently for her mom to get better. Kate does the best she can to tend to the kid as well and they slowly become friends. When the woman inevitably passes away, Kate does the impossible to give the boy a new home and the three of them welcome him into the family.

This same daughter with a dark and angsty twist. Maybe this scenario is the reason I maybe put that heart subconciously. To make you feel better, I think Ive given them enough pain for a lifetime and Charlie and Kate dont deserve this. But I did explore the idea of Kate losing a baby after their first daughter. But I just cant do it. I imagined it in my head and its too much even for an angsty/bittersweet writer like me because this type of pain is like no other.

So yeah, no spoilers for the wip tho, this story isnt about that. They will discuss the topic, I will give you that scene, but no actual babes for now. And although I dont see them having more than 2 kids, I adoreee (as I said) the idea of Kat being a mama duck and having all her katlings following her around 💜

Thanks @eldritchscreech for the ask! I hope I gave you at least some portion of your answer bc I dont think I have lmao