#i feel like it's such a weird and impossible ask
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BOOKS OF 2024
the list nobody asked for. again <3 i think this time around i read less books than the previous year?? but still 😤 we did it boys we read some fine books. reviews under the cut since i love yapping and i cant be fucked to make a goodreads account
Cromorama - Riccardo Falcinelli this book was sooo cool so engaging so interesting, its a look into the history and science of colors but its also so much more rlly one of my favorite nonfictions of all time
The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells disclaimer I only read this series up to Rogue Protocol, but I enjoyed it, I rlly liked the characters and the worldbuilding and the short novel format and most of all murderbooottt my best friend murderbot. when im in the mood for scifi again ill read the rest asw I prommyy
On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - Ocean Vuong this is one of those books that as u read it you can already tell it will stay with you forever, dont be fooled by the shortness every single line will Kill You. it will kill you dead.
The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida - Shehan Karunatilaka probably my fav book of the year, it's beautiful it's gripping it's deep it's scathing it's irreverent it has a careful and deeply cultural magical surrealism it has sociopolitical satire it won the booker prize of 2022 and deserved it so much
Fuori le Palle! Privilegi e Trappole della Mascolinità - Victoire Tuaillon ill be hoooneestt I didn't find this uhh as groundbreaking as I was kinda expecting it to be?? but still it was a nice read and the "flipped" perspective to center the myth of """masculinity""" in a feminist text was interesting. also rlly pretty cover
Lavinia - Ursula K. Le Guin Ursula girl u did it again! constantly rising the bar for all of us!! another stunning book that sadly fell victim to the #girlboss tiktokification but DONT LET THAT STOP YOUUU its sooo good. bitches Love pre-hellenistic latin society <333 bitches love even more when the boundaries between story and characters and reality and fiction blur in such a masterful way that Lavinia can have a conversation with Vergil and it doesn't feel not even the littlest bit forced or out of place <333
Exordia - Seth Dickinson Went in for the giant snake alien/human toxic yuri stayed for the weird mystery body horror stuff almost left for the overabundance of USA military stuff that I just can't be bothered to care about. I liked it way less than the masquerade but it Does have all the classical elements that make it a Seth Dickinson book aka fucked up women. Imperialism Critique. the horrors. the trolley problem. being Very Long. etc
Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao wow guys. this book fucking sucked. like I'm speechless. you'd think that with the crazy popular rep it has it would have smth worth salvaging but uhhh- anyway go stream cocoon by corrupter which is iron widow if it was actually good
Fire from Heaven - Mary Renault nothing more special than a cultured fujo and her special golden shiny perfumed blorbo that everyone wants to fuck so bad <333 finally a book that healed my tsoa related trauma, the only thing that could've made it better is if hephaestion discovered brat taming
The Spear Cuts Through Water - Simon Jimenez beautiful and with such a dreamy magical atmosphere once again I LOVEEE interwoven stories, and I feel like some of the writing's style Choices are so original. it starts a bit slow tbh but I found it impossible to put down from the second half of the book til the end
Voyage of the Damned - Frances White well. it was a cherished super pretty shiny gift from a beloved friend so that's why I finished it but uh. uhhMMMMM uhghhh whhhhfhhmmm uhhhhh hmmmmm uhhhhh. yeah. I'm iconic 💅
Bad Gays: a Homosexual History - Ben Miller, Huw Lemmey ill be honest I didn't expect to like this book as much as I did but its really nice!! its a critique and analysis of white male gayness told through the lives of some Notable Controversial Homos, and I liked how it rlly paints a full picture not only of their lives but also of the socio-political landscape that shaped them and the concept of queernes of the time. only lil gripe tho is why there was only One woman and One Japanese guy then-
#taking into next year mauriceeee finally!!! rlly excited to read it. and in Italian. needed brain cleanse for all the english otz#also yeah not included in the list the radiant emperor reread 🫡 y’all alr know what i think of it 🫠 what i Went Through#/pos /dead#as alwayyysss besties feel free to suggest ur books im always up for recs <333#it might take me 11 years to get to it but i'll get to it#books#send post
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Danny X Cass Part 4
They arrive at the pantry in just a moment. Danny, Cass and the rest of the batfam go to take their seat while Clark and Diana go to make some teas and snacks. Danny and Cass sit beside each other with the other side of Cass being Spoiler. Opposite of Danny is Bruce while beside him are Nightwing and Robin. Red Robin takes a chair and sits right behind Batman while still taping on his wrist computer.
Batman, Nightwing and Robin keep staring at Danny while Clark and Diana prepare the snacks and teas but Danny doesn't look nervous at all. As much as Danny wants to take all of them seriously, he really can't when he knows what he knows.
A moment later Clark and Diana come with 2 trays of snacks and teas and put them on the table. They take a chair each and sit near the end of the table. Clark and Diana can feel the intense glares from 3 bats. Both of them glance at the target in question and they can see that the guy takes the glare with stride. It's like the person that is being glared at is someone else.
Suddenly, a loud ding sounded in the room. Danny takes out his phone and a grin spreads on his face. Danny shows the screen to Cass and she also releases a few giggles. Feeling the glares becoming more intense, Danny puts his phone on the table and lets everyone see what he is seeing.
On his phone is a selfie of Dan holding a bloodied Darkseid in one hand with a caption "Can't even give out a decent fight. Even Boxy is a better sparring partner than him." Another message entered Danny's phone and there is a selfie of Elle with Danny's clone bitch slapping Trigon in the background. "This place is so cool. You gotta bring me here to play more." Danny shows the rest of the heroes that the deed is done and they finally relax. Clark stands up from his table and goes back to the other room to inform the other heroes that the threat had already been taken care of.
Danny then puts back his phone and continues drinking his tea. Heh. They might think that they are being scary but they don't even know even now Danny is still flirting with Cass. That's one of the benefits of being able to read the opponent's body language and ghost speak. To others holding hands is just holding hands but to them, holding hands can be used to convey all of your emotions.
They stay like that for a while longer until Clark returns from the other room. Seeing Clark fully seated, Bruce finally speaks.
"Who are you really?" Bruce asks with the most intimidating voice he can use.
"Didn't I say? I'm Danny Phantom. High King of Infinite Realm etc etc. I have a lot of titles but the high King one is the only important one." Danny says carelessly.
"How old are you?" Bruce asks.
"20"
"Impossible." Red Robin suddenly interjects.
"Why is it impossible?" Danny looks curiously at him. He genuinely doesn't know why it is impossible.
"There are records of you all across time all the way back to the ancient human. There are even traces of you in multiple pantheons." Red Robin says.
"Oh, you mean that. Duh, it's easy. I time travel. It's quite easy to time travel when your pops is the master of time." Danny says.
"But didn't you say Clockwork hates when someone messes with time?" Superman asks.
"If there is a time traveler that messes with the timeline, who do you think will deal with the guy? It certainly ain't that old man. He sends me to deal with the time traveler/magician who are trying to change the timeline." Danny says.
"Is Clockwork your father then?" Diana asks.
"Adopted parents. He is my parents/mentor for anything ghost related. Well actually for most things related except personal human problems." Danny says.
"How long have you known Black Bat?" Nightwing asks. Finally the real question.
"Wait, I think 10 years now. You are 21 right Cass? I remember when I first met her she was being chased down by this weird ninja. After I shot a few of them down with my Fenton Taser, Cass handled the rest of them. She then passed out from exhaustion and I brought her to my secret hideout (A cave Danny found just then). After a few days, Cass fully recovered and since then, she and I have been meeting every few months whenever she comes around."
"Also, I know all of your real identity. The phrase 'Dead man tells no tales' is a complete bs by the way. The ghosts really like gossiping. Like that one time I heard a ghost say that he sees Bruce fall into the dumpster because his grappling hook is jammed. Or that one time Dick got catcalled by an old lady."
The bats (except Cass)froze when they hear that Danny knows their secret identity. Bruce sighs and takes off his cowl followed by the rest of the family.
"Do you also know my identity, Danny?" Clark asks.
"Yes, I know you Kal-el. Your parents are very proud of what you have become."
"You met Ma and Pa?"
"Your biological parents."
"You- you've met my parents?" Clark's voice shakes. Danny nods while smiling warmly.
"If you want, I can set up a meeting with your parents. Not for long of course. It's not good for a mortal to be inside the realm for too long. And that invitation extends to all of you."
Most of them stilled at that invitation.
#danny phantom#dead silent#danny x cass#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#batfam#cassandra cain#justice league
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Re the anon talking about ppl claiming that you can do forcefem in a way that isn't kinky and therefore is sfw & shouldn't be tagged – THANK YOU. As an ace person who is both somewhat sex averse and mildly involved in kink (basically I like erotica (of the fantastical, impossible to do in reality variety) & write some of it but I have to be in the right mood and I'm uncomfortable with actually having sex or having sexual interactions that aren't clearly roleplay), I was a little upset with some friends a few years ago for making sexual comments about me (like joking about whether I'm a top/bottom or saying things like 'step on me', etc). I asked them if they could stop/tone it down a little and my actually close friends did but a few kept getting defensive about how it was clearly a joke and they were saying I was a bottom in a slang/meme way and didn't mean anything sexual by it. And like... the point isn't how you intend for something to come across, the point is how it's received and the words you're saying are clearly sexual and it's starting to get weird. Something doesn't stop being rude or straight up sexual harassment if you mean it as a joke/in a nonsexual way.
I'm not a Puritan by any means. All kink (involving consensual adults) is fine by me but being sex-positive also means respecting that some people aren't into your kinks or sex in general and to not get offended if someone unfollows you because of untagged kink/nsfw or leaves a conversation because they're squicked out. (Seriously, we need to bring back the concept of 'squicks' to communicate that there's nothing morally wrong with certain kinks but some can still gross you out and you can choose to avoid them.) Rebranding what's clearly a kink and is understood to be a kink anywhere that's not this website, especially one that can clearly be triggering to people, and calling anyone who doesn't want to see it transmisogynists is just... weird.
(Also while I have 0 problems with people who transition for kink reasons or people who have gender-related kinks, it sets a kind of dangerous precedent for seriously claiming something like forcefem is trans praxis when one of the most common transphobic & specifically transmisogynistic lines of attack is that being trans is sexually motivated & trans people are groomer pedophiles, etc etc. If you think of your transition/gender as forcefemming then cool! Good for you! Kink is an important part of queerness. But maybe try to not apply that to the entire community when there are people who don't feel the same and there are people who are put in real physical danger because of those assumptions that being trans is inherently sexual.)
This is especially true of forcefem because "nonsexual forcefem" is literally just transmascs being forced to detransition. People with non-con kinks kinna have a big responsibility to not go about it in a way that's triggering to other people.
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The lovers au
Because yes.
A dialogue between skk
C:How do you did it?
D: Wh.. at?
C: You hear me. I know you can hear me how do you did it?
D: Pardon?
C: How did you do it?
D: Do what?
C: Oh so you can hear me. You helped those two.
D: I suppose I did...
C: How.
D: I think... I talked with them.
C: You... you talked?
D: Sure.
C: Just... just talked?!
D: Yeah I did. And?
C: ...
C: That woman over there... i know her name is Yosano Akikko. She's beautiful but she seems to exhaust herself with her own punishment. And we all do. I see her all the time.
D: I did felt her desperation...
C: Felt?
D: Yes, can't you feel it?
C: I can see it. Interesting how you can know that by feelings...
D:...
C: But you helped her, for the first time she decided to stop for a while. In three years, I saw her face without any tears.
D: ....
C: That's also part of the reasons I wanted to talk with you.
D: Hm.... what about the other reason?
C: ...
C: I ... I have been watching you for a while like I always do with everybody.
I know every single thing about these people. Poor souls, I have seen people arriving, leaving. Mostly, arriving and desperately trying to accomplish something impossible like them. I see everything, I can see the way those two scream, I can see their tears and monologues. I know each person here. I know everything.
D: How wise.
C: ...
C: And yet, I can't figure out your punishment as much time I spent looking at you. I saw how you tried to help the people I saw everyday but I don't think that's a punishment.
D: And how do you know that?
C: because helping people is a choice, not a punishment.
D: Are you sure?
C: I know what I see and that's what I see.
D: Hm...
C: ...
C: Yosano... her punishment is terrible..
D: Oh? Do tell me?
C: Huh? You couldn't understand it by seeing it?
D: No.
C: Huh... Strange....
D: ...
C: She has been trying to heal a bunch of kids, but everytime she does, they kill themselves with her own scalpel. The very one she used to cure them.
D: ...
C: It's almost depressing seeing her doing that over and over again. I don't think she realizes she is wasting her time.
D: It's the eternity.
C: It's the eternity yes, but this is eternal suffering. These people know nothing but suffering and despair.
D: ...
C: I never saw them without screaming, crying or pained. They are always in this state of desperation.
D: I can feel their desperation, yes.
C: I can see it.
D: Hm.
D: In short you saw them but you didn't help them.
C: What makes you think I was fine with it?
D: You did nothing to help them.
C: Watch your sentences bandaged dude. I have the upper hand here.
D: ...
C: What?
D: Do I still have the bandages?
C: Huh? Are you asking me that? Can't you... just look down?
D: ...
C: Oh.
D: ...
C: You... You can't see.
D: That's...
C: The truth, that's what the facts say, that's what I am saying. You are blind.
D: Yeah... I suppose I am.
C: But even so, why were you able to figure out Yosano's desperation?
D: hm? I felt it.
C: Without... seeing it?
D: Yeah. I feel a lot lately.
C: ...
C: That's weird, we are dead.
D: That's what I told myself when I arrived here.
C: You shouldn't feel like that.
D: Tough luck.
C: ...
C: Do you... perhaps feel something... now?
D: ... are you treating this like some superpower or something?
C: Do you? Answer the question.
D: Strangely... I feel nothing.
C: What? But I thought you felt "lately a lot".
D: Well I am not feeling not "lately a lot" right now. And if anything it's a blessing.
C:..
C: I don't know what to say.
D: Don't say anything then. Why didn't you help poor Yosano?
C: All mighty aren't we? I have been here for three years now and if your punishment is being blind, mine is being invisible.
D: Oh. That's.... certainly... unexpected...
C: You couldn't obviously tell, you are blind.
D: Well... I am...
C: But to answer your question... I can't help them, even if I wanted to.
D: Can't they hear you? Like I can?
C: They do, they can but if they care they don't show.
D: ...
C: Besides I see that they are too much drowned in their own demise and despair. If someone ever would try to be close to them, they'd ignore the person.
D: ...
C: And they can't see me so... I have given up on helping them, on helping people a long time ago.
D: ...
C: You can't see, but things are like what I see. Simple and obvious. If it's cruel it's cruel. Rarely it's something positive, since this is a punishment.
D: Forever was not enough huh?
C: ...
D: You said you have been here for three years.
C: I think so. Time is meaningless here. Since it's eternal, there are no need to such abstract things as time. It won't even end, so there is no need to count it.
D: ... You do have a point.
C: I know that. It won't ever end.
D: So... what do people do around here?
C: I observe. They try to accomplish impossible tasks. Over there I see a man. He's desperately trying to finish a puzzle but whenever he makes his move, the puzzle changes. He gets frustated, you must feel it.
D: ... I do.
C: Ranpo is an intelligent soul. But his punishment was carefully chosen and purposefully made an impossible and frustating situation.
D: ...
C: Kunikida is another one. He's an idealist, I can see how his eyes widen with tears and fear whenever he sees the kids being killed. Sometimes they commit suicide, other times it's something different.
D: ...
C: He has a notebook with him. It's green colored. It's his ideals' book. He insists on carrying it with him. Apparently it makes his suffering even more terrible.
D: I can feel it.
C: You have the kid who won't ever get that heavy rock to the top of that mountain. Not because he is weak, but because the montain is covered with thin clay that makes it roll back down.
D: A kid?
C: Yeah. It's depressing really. But he's a tough one. He doesn't give up and he is not as terrible as the others.
D: What else?
C: Huh I don't know. What can you feel?
D: ... A lot.
C: Choose a side and I'll tell you about what I know.
D: Are you, stranger whose name I don't know-
C: I don't think that's necessary.
D: offering to be my eyes?
C: Like I said eternity is a lot of time. I am bored.
D: So... boredom huh...
C: It's not hard to tell, no one can see me. You are the first person I have talked with.
D: That's...
C: So, I can be your eyes for-
D: The eternity?
C:...
C: You know what I was going to say something similar but you are so annoying that I won't.
D: Hm.. what about that feeling there.
C: Huh? Where?
D: Over there... I feel deep pain... I hear crying too.
C: Oh that's a boy. He is suffering his sister's death or if it is not death she disapears whenever he touches her.
D: Oh.
C: Not the worst type of punishment if you ask me. But it's still painful, specially when it's his sister.
D: Huh... I can feel... love?
C: Wha- I am only saying what I am seeing!
D: Never said you weren't.
C: Her name is Naomi and she disapears a lot. I would say 1000 times per day or something, but it really is variable and, I don't know what a day is.
D: Fair enough.
C: Can't you feel anything else?
D: I feel a lot.
C: Well, that's helpful. I see a lot too.
D: You don't seem very close to these people...
C: ...
D: You seem to not care about their pain.
C: We all have our own graves to carry. No one is going to do it for me.
D:...
C: I have my own punishment too. Why would I pity them?
D: Sometimes I forget that.
C: ...
C: Well... welcome to this... place. Pros: you don't need to eat, to wash. But against these is your own punishment.
D: A certainly heavy price to pay.
C: See for the bright side, you won't need to change your bandages.
D: When you say like that...
C: In fact you should stop wearing them.
D: ...
C: No one pays attention to you.
D: Sounds like a dream.
C: For a while, maybe. Then it gets lonely.
D: ...
C: For me at least. They... they don't seem - look lonely.
D: They do feel a lot.
C: Yeah. They are not alone.
D: ...
C: They have their desperation and pain with them. It's a good distraction from loneliness.
D: ...
C: Yeah...
D: I'd say good for them, but ...
C: Don't. Don't finish that sentence.
D: Sorry.
C:...
C: I just met you today-
D: Was it really today though? Wasn't time something relative?
C: A bit of both. But the point is- I know, for some reason, you are the type of person I'd hate in life.
D: Hm. That's... interesting
C: Isn't it? The way you can't see but you can actually be an annoying asshole even without seeing me?!
D: And having fun while at it
C: You- wait. You.... are you feeling something? Right now?
D: Not particularly. I fell the others and your... strange emotions.
C: And what's that supposed to mean?!
D: Do what you wish with it.
C:...
C: I'll ignore it then. Huh... Naomi disapeared again.
D: That's what I feel seconds ago...
C: Were they really seconds?
D: ...
D: Stop that.
C: No. But anyways. We've been chatting for a while. Yosano and Kunikida returned from their break, thanks to you, but now they are suffering again.
D: I can feel it.
C: Yeah and I can see it. Stop doing that.
D: I was just saying.
C:...
C: What did you do?
D: Nothing for now?
C: Wha- no! I meant what brought you here?
D: It's hard to tell, hard to think the reason.
C: Think about what you did when you were alive.
D: I don't remember anything.
C: Nothing?
D: Anything worth remembering.
C: ....
D: Plus, it's been overwhelming the amount of emotions I feel.
C: Was it different? When you were alive I mean?
D: I can't tell. I don't really remember.
C: You just arrived.
D: Like you said time moves slowly here.
C: I didn't say that, but .. i understand. All I see is people and suffering.
D:...
C: But what I meant what did you do before you got here?
D: Ah, in life?
C: Yes. Were you... I don't know a... criminal?
D: ...
C: Oh my God.
D: ...
C: You were.
D: No.
C: ...
D: But I killed myself.
C: ...
D: I killed myself with my lover.
C: You...
D: Yeah.
C:...
C: And your lover. Do you miss your lover?
D: I don't know. It's hard to tell if I really loved her.
C: Well, you loved her enough to die with her. As messed up as it sounds.
D: I think you might have a point.
C:...
C: But I was talking about what you did in life. What were you? A womanizer?
D: I told you I had one lover, why would you assume I was a womanizer?
C: Just and idea.
D:...
D: I was a writer.
C: A writer?
D: Or at least I tried to be one.
C: Huh... could never have guessed. That's surprising.
D: Why?
C: You don't look the type of writer. I was a poet, myself.
D: Ugh.
D: I never liked poets.
C: Don't care, didn't ask.
D: Rude.
C: But .. Figures. For the record was never too keen on writers like you.
D: How so? Bad experiences?
C: No, just... boredom.
D: Boredom?
C: People who stuck to the words are boring.
D:...
D: Just for you to know taking this as a fully offense.
C: Too bad for you then.
D: I'll have you know I have a wonder type of writing.
C: I'll only believe it when I see it.
What's your name?
D: So straight forward.
C: Say it.
D: Dazai. Dazai Osamu.
C: Normally I wouldn't care but would you like me to call you 'Dazai' or 'Osamu'?
D: ...
D: Dazai. Osamu is for my lovers only.
C: Got it.
C: Never heard of it. I am Chuuya. Nakahara Chuuya.
N: Nakahara or Chuuya?
C: Don't ever call me by Nakahara again. Chuuya.
D: First name basis?
C: Don't overthink it, I am not into formalities.
D: Is that so?
C: Yeah they are overrated.
D: Maybe you are just a brute.
C: What is that supposed to mean?
D: Nothing. I think... your name is somehow familiar....
C: Probably from Rjmbaud's translations.
D: Right. I think that's it. One woman liked to read it so I saw the name.
C: Nice man. Nice poetry. The woman had great taste.
D: I'll have to disagree with that.
C: On the literature opinion or on the woman?
D: Actually? Both. I ended up dumping her.
C: I knew you were some kind of hearbreaker.
D: She was boring.
C: She readed poetry.
D: Precisely.
C: ...
C: The only bad taste she had was her taste in men.
D: Why are you judging me like that? Poetry sucks. Specially Rimbaud's. French snob people.
C: ...
C: I am not taking your advice Dazai, least of you. Of all people, not you.
D: Least of you? Chuuya, it's not like you have anyone else to talk to!
C: ...
C: You might be dead, Dazai, but I can hurt you, you know.
D: Sorry.
C: You are not sorry, asshole.
D: Oh can you tell?
C: I can see it.
D: ...
D: Eh you are right. And why the nickname?
C: What you said was typical of assholes and during my life I met a lot of them.
D: Ah, the perks of being a poet!
C: Do you have something against poetry?
D: It sucks. Why make the text short if it can all be in prose?
C: I was right, you have no taste. I pity those women.
D: They don't regret sleeping with me, you know.
C: Like I care.
D: Just saying.
C: Even after dead, the spirits won't give me any peace.
D: Oh poor you.
C: You are being annoying again.
C: I bet you certainly didn't work your life didn't you?
D: I thought I told you I was a writer.
C: Yeah and a certified womanizer as well.
D: I can't deny that, but I believe you said that was not a job.
C: It's not. It's a choice of life and look where it took you.
D: It's not that deep.
C: ...
D: And that was not what made me be here.
C: Then what was it?
D: I killed people.
C: What? Are you messing with me?
D: I wish I could say I cared about their deaths but I don't.
C: ...
D: They were all my lovers. Part of the reason I dumped that woman was because she refused to kill herself with me.
C: What?!
D: It's romantic dying together. You said yourself.
C: I didn't say that?!
D: You said something similar.
C: ...
C: You are the kind of people I'd punch in the face. But since you can't see... it wouldn't be fair.
D: I am glad you are thinking rationaly for once. Thank you immensely for your comprehension.
C: Silence would be a better option, you know.
D: But enough about me. What are you doing here? What could possibly a poet had made to deserve such a cruel punishment?
C:...
C: I can't tell if you are mocking me or asking me.
D: Take it as you please.
C: ...
C: Ha now you are being straight forward huh? Hypocrite.
D: I think it's only fair! Besides, no one is seeing you, don't worry!
C: Will you please stop with those comments? I spent thre- time in silence!
D: You should be thanking me then.
C: For what?!
D: You'd be lonely without me
C: ...
C: Dazai?
D: Hm?
C: Yosano is talking alone again.
D: I see.
C: You mean you feel.
D: ...
D: Shut up.
Hear me out
The Lovers...
?
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#nakahara chuuya#bsd skk#skk#soukoku#the lovers#AU#ideasnstuff#wippp
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#incredibly difficult to express and also like. next to impossible to find the sort of support i think i actually need#which is for people to just *accept* me when im struggling instead of trying to help or pushing me to behave differently#i need somebody who can challenge me and encourage me and push me sometimes#but at the same time aomebody who i could count on to just love and accept me even if i never get better#i feel like it's such a weird and impossible ask#like please don't let me slide but also i need to know that if i am worst self that i would still be unconditionally loved and supported#i am not convinced this is a thing that's even possible#like i don't want an enabler but i also have demand avoidance like crazy and anything other than acceptance feels like a demand#and an implicit ''you're not enough''#and how i feel about it is all so dependent on mood which is changeable as hell#i read somewhere that this is kind of what heing a Freeze response person does to you. you just shut down and lock up#when people are trying to bring you out of it. like it just makes it worse. the only thing that thaws you out is unconditional acceptance#and fucking. that's the most counterintuitive ''you shouldn't do that bc it's enabling'' things ever
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Fernando Alonso × Unconventional Drinking Implements
#if i had a nickel for every time nano drank out of a trophy id have two nickels. that's not a lot but its weird it happened twice#dont ask me if theres more i didnt have the mental capacity to look up all his podium pics...theres 20 years worth#but if you do have more somehow miraculousy do of course hit me up#this is one of these things i think that youd have to experience by watching a lot of races bcs finding it by keywords is impossible imo#though i did look up various trophies and now i want to make a tier list of trophies by drinkablity ����#but yeah some people in the tags of the pics i posted were like 'he did exactly what i wanted to do![drink from the big cup basically]'#so this is like: hey! not the first time hes done it 🤭#but like if these are the only two times hes done it thats hilarious#bcs its been 18 yrs so was he suddenly like 'oh my god wait i just remembered what i can do with this'#but like the 2005 is the wcc win so it makes sense why he did smth so over the top#but this one i really really feel like he let the impulsive thoughts win and was just 'this looks like a giant cup....'#not pictured: flavio also drinking from the trophy. he was so indulgent of his boy 🥹#also i wonder if theres footage of him pouring in the champagne in 2023 cause i didnt even know he drank from it until i was looking at pic#cause thats my fav thing about the 2005 one is watching him trying to aim and pour it from way too high hahaha#oh also there is the brazil 2005 gp as well but he doesnt directly drink from it so i dont think it fits well here#but at the same time he really is looking at trophies like 'hmmm how well would this work as a cup'#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#2023 dutch gp#2005 chinese gp#fa14#we do a little bit of f1#formula one
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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apologies if this is a dumb question and i won't be offended at all if you dont answer/dont know but since you've worked in libraries before i was curious if you knew how to let your library know you're interested in an audiobook they haven't purchased ? i know i used to be able to make requests on overdrive but since the switch to libby i haven't been able to figure it out. i hope youre having a lovely day whether you can help or not and appreciate you taking the time to read all this 💛
sorry for the late reply, i haven't been online much and just saw this! most public libraries will have a form on their website called something like "purchase request" or "suggest a title" that you can use to request things! people often think this is only for books, but most places will let you request audiobooks, DVDs, etc. librarians won't always add the things you request to the collection, and they often can't explain every decision in detail due to volume, so results may vary.
the one thing to be mindful of is that audiobook/ebook licensing can be really weird, and sometimes publishers do make it really difficult or impossible for libraries to license certain items! so if your library doesn't get something you ask for, that sucks and is disappointing, but please don't hesitate to keep sending in requests as you have them! that info is always super helpful for collections folks looking to add things to the library that they think you'll want and use!
#there's too many reasons why some purchases aren't feasible to get into every single one#but the weird one that i've seen more lately is that some resource publishers want to force readers/listeners#to subscribe to a proprietary monthly streaming or ebook service#so they make it impossible for anyone to buy access to certain items unless you're one person buying an individual subscription#deeply gross stuff imo#but yeah never feel shy about letting libraries know what you want and need!#even if they can't get that specific thing right now it helps them know what kinds of items and services you and others want#which is super useful information for them to have when requesting funding and things like that to provide those collections and services!#it can be stressful when they don't even email you a yes or no in response to your request#but you're doing a very helpful thing by letting your librarians know how they can help you!#also like. if your library doesn't have a collections webform next steps depend a lot on what type of library it is#so i didn't really want to get into that at length here#but if that's the case definitely never be afraid to ask at the desk or on the phone or via email if/how they take requests#50% of most public-facing library jobs is explaining processes/how to find things on the website#so you will not be doing anything weird or annoying by asking#anonymous#ask and receive
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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Oh and aren't they also gonna charge like 50 USD for that book too? Yeesh
I haven't seen the price range, but yeah I don't know. I mean, I'm sure the artbook part will be super cool! I'm actually curious of what it may reveal about the game's development, this part is interesting to me. But yeah, they *really* could have done without the Timeline shenanigans. People would have bought the book without that incentive.
#asks#totk#totk critical#when will my brain return from the imprisoning war...#thanks for the ask!#Yeah it's starting to feel like#making the timeline impossibly confusing is a business strategy#make it weird#then “fix it” in a DLC --I mean book#I don't think this is actually what's going on I think it just comes as a nice bonus born from their decisions#it's incidental but BOY is it annoying#I wouldn't care as much if it wasn't a direct sequel once again#it was justifiable for skyward sword#even for breath of the wild#here it's just#you did a bad job!!! it's fine!!! stop pretending you had a great plan you clearly do not have one!!!
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If you were a chulip character how would players kiss you?
find and present to me a working copy of Dragon Ball Z Budokai 1 for the PlayStation 2 and you can kiss my stupid ass
#ask#anon#for a more serious and personal answer. idk i imagine you'd have to see and accept me at my weirdest. otherwise NO kisses. NO love.#you cannot 100% the game if you cannot accept me for the weird fucked slop i am#i also deal 98 hearts of damage if you fuck it up. and i wont appear for 30 ingame days. need time to recover.#best hope you didnt leave me as one of the last citizens you had to kiss#you could savescum i guess to bypass the wait time#but deep down id know#the only character in chulip to have a mr resetti mechanic#another silly answer would be that youd have to find a working beta of tf2 with grenades still intact. but thats impossible im afraid.#but even then i dont think i feel that attatched to the beta. its just the researcher in me who wants to see how the viewmodels look#like we know what the dynamite packs viewmodel looks like. but not really anything else im afraid.#we have an idea of what some viewmodels wouldve included with their model#like the bear trap has an unused portion of its UV sheet that displays what wouldve likely been meant to be a chain#so i wonder how a chain wouldve been adapted with the beartraps viewmodel#like is it a cluster of them on the end of the chain and the scouts spinning it.#or is the viewmodel of one with a chain wrapped around the jaws to help its viewmodel have a more solid silhouette#the frag grenade has what i assume to be the uv portion of a pin#im just fascinated by scrapped content i think.#anyway thank you for the ask anon#i kinda wish i had a game i couldve listed with a funnier title but. dbz budokai is the one that sticks out in my mind
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honestly the thing that baffles me the most about all the disney “live action” remakes is that they won’t touch the live action adaptations that not only existed long before their remake plans, but have been WILDLY successful!!!
the theater/broadway adaptations of beauty and the beast, the little mermaid, and the fucking LION KING??
disney, you already own all of this material. why are you dumping money into mediocre remakes when you already have the exact thing you’re looking for, but better??
#moi#disney#beauty and the beast#the little mermaid#little mermaid#the lion king#lion king#WHY WHY WHY#JUST GIVE US THE BROADWAY VERSIONS#I WOULD RATHER HAVE ‘human person in a costume’ THAN WHATEVER CREEPY CGI UR GONNA SHOVE AT US NEXT#there’s a reason these films weren’t made live action to begin with!!!!#and it’s because the more realistic you try to make it#the weirder it feels!#because these stories are full of impossible things and magic#which works great for animation#and for theater#because both of those are mediums that ask you to suspend your disbelief#weird animated tiny candlestick or guy in a candlestick costume holding a smaller candlestick to represent the actual size?#i will take guy in a candlestick costume thanks#can you imagine if they had done like a beauty and the beast live?#these shows aren’t easy for people to see!#they could have just made a film ‘adaptation’ of the broadway versions#and shipped that#it would have been better than what we got
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re: the music rant I tagged you in I am so sorry for tagging you in my double-dose caffeine fueled haterism explosion post. truly was off the shits and did not realize how much random garbage talking points I was ready to spill on the first person to ask
but i love haterism…..
#truly i really don’t care if ppl like those artists. they do so for good reason#but it’s just impossible to see it as like. particularly noteworthy and countercultural or anything anymore?#like obv it’ll never be on the same mainstream level of like taylor swift or w/e#but as far as being ‘weird’ or ‘fringe’ it’s like. safe weird. safe fringe#mainstream weird or mainstream fringe to use an oxymoron#there’s nothing wrong with enjoying something with a large community that makes you feel something#but it just isn’t particularly striking as far as making a statement about how unique you are#not that you need to be unique to be cool#but i think a lot of people truly do see it as a thing that makes them special or even superior#it’s not harmful at all just a little silly#and truly when every young neurodivergent well-off internet dweller is doing it. well it’s not totally weird is it#safe and sanitized weirdness#either that or to get back to the point if it is true weirdness then it’s like yeah are you sure this goes on that character playlist LOL#maybe the other bigger threat is when stuff is genuinely good and raw and unique and strange#art that’s screaming something out#and it gets watered down into something incredibly generic#like this lament about the singer’s very real life is like ‘woagh this is just like these two fictional white men who have never met’#less ‘morally wrong’ and more ‘hardcore cringe at best and in poor taste at worst’#or like. what if it is an EXTREMELY specific situation genuinely#why is it on every playlist 🤔#the answer is bc it goes hard of course so who am i to say they’re wrong for having fun#but behind the scenes in secret i’ll be laughing sinisterly#like everybody in the world thinks Their Artist is the most freakish unique and special artist. including swifties#fact of the matter there’s always something weirder. even the stuff i listen to i am well aware could be so much freakier#is there really any point in making it a competition of how weird you are#just listen to what appeals to you and stop acting like you’re the main character idk#asks#dj-of-the-coven#ok i’m done now. hope none of this sounded too bitter and judgmental
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chip having ‘wannabe x but i’m a cheerleader’ vibes is canon actually. and on that note: anyone who doesn’t vote syd in that poll is a coward!! ok maybe not but like LET CHIPPY KISS GIRLS
also tumblr on app doesn’t give me character limits so y’all are gonna hate me when the friday chapters drop!! >:) weeeewooo
let's check in on that poll again, actually, i think last time i checked richie lost second place to her--
OH SHIT SHE'S IN SECOND BABY!!!! GO SYD GO SYD!
Genuine fact, when I was kicking around the idea of a character in The Bear that was a fixer, I thought a queer handywoman that Sydney falls Head over Tails for would be vv fun-- I also thought (and still do think) that if Tony were genuinely a canon character, Richie or Syd would be so perfect for her. And she them. SO THIS ALL TRACKS HONESTLY. I also should say, I swear I'm not a coward, I only voted for Mikey because I thought he didn't have a fighting chance against Syd-- I could not have been more wrong.
Funny enough, speaking of, the Chippy v Tony poll is still running and Chippy is winning.... The way you bitches fold for the older brother,,,,, i'm snitching i am-- jkjkjkjk, like I said, also prefer Chip-- It's just like. Fun to say Chip.
Also Friday has dropped as you've probably seen your ass get tagged in it and i am SO excited to hear what you think-- Though I know collecting all of those thoughts probably takes a good amount of effort, so DON'T SWEAT TAKIN TIME AND BREAKS W/ IT!!!
#but i am delighted by the idea of being made sick of u#impossible id say#yapping#ask#i feel like i should start tagging peoples usernames for repeat customers but i haven't done it before and i feel like its weird to startno
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What came first, the depressive episode or the art block?
#one triggers the other etc etc#blegh#I can’t fucking draw I have no good ideas#also apologies to anyone who sent me an ask or dm I’m in a super weird space rn where like. engaging in conversation feels impossible#sorry for complaining on my tumblr blog but where else to complain#lea talks
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It’s overthinking o’clock
#I got offered a full time position at my job which is awesome because one Iike#working there a lot and two I need a full time job#BUT#I have chronic migraines#and it makes it hard#sorry-impossible-#for me to work some days#so I awkwardly asked if the position could be remote partly and he was basically like no#SO now I’m worried two fold#ONE bc I’m worried he thinks I’m lazy and don’t wanna work#and TWO#the more legitimate issue of me not being able to work on days I’m having migraines#AND#that working more will or might make my migraines even worse#and then I’m worried some of my other co workers could hear me ask and I feel SO AWAKRD LIKE WHAT IF THEY THINK IM JUST LAZY AND WEIRD#FOR ASKING#I KNOW IM OVERTHINKING#but this is how my brain works#yes I know me stressing doesn’t help my head pain#BUT WHAT IF I RUINED HIS GOOD IMAGE OF ME#he said k was a great worker so now I’m like no what if he thinks I’m#lazy for askin😭😫
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