#i feel like i should tell you to listen to love on the brain by rihanna
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padfootagain · 1 day ago
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Love in Verses (XXV)
Chapter 25: ‘They will think of ways to make you smile so you can be happy for a while’
Hi! Here is a new chapter! Some embarrassing scenes for both our babies… it’s pretty cute! Also, Siobhán is back, hence the poem!
I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader (professor!AU)
Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt, hurt/comfort, tooth-rotting fluff in later chapters, some scenes in later chapters will have heavy sexual themes even if it’s not explicit nsfw description, so no minors here
Summary: Your life seems perfect. You're engaged, your career is thriving as you become an assistant professor at Trinity College, and this Andrew Hozier-Byrne you're sharing an office with seems to be a nice guy you hope to call a friend soon. Life seems to be smiling at you... until everything goes sour. When your fiancé breaks up with you, your perfect world shatters. And when your colleague also gets his heart broken soon after, your shared office seems to be a curse rather than a blessing. But Andrew seems determined to mend your broken hearts... Will things finally go according to plan?
Word Count: 2247
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s masterlist – Main masterlist
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A Friend
A person who will listen and not condemn Someone on whom you can depend They will not flee when bad times are here Instead they will be there to lend an ear They will think of ways to make you smile So you can be happy for a while When times are good and happy there after They will be there to share the laughter Do not forget your friends at all For they pick you up when you fall Do not expect to just take and hold Give friendship back, it is pure gold.
Gillian Jones
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You were kissing him.
Hands in his hair, gently pulling, not enough to hurt, but enough to tug and make his brain short-circuit altogether.
Your lips left his for a moment, he blinked his eyes open, bending further to keep you close. You were in his arms, he was holding you against him, and you were bringing your lips to his ear, and it was divine, really, the feeling of you so close, your warm breath fanning over his cheek as you whispered.
“Andy, I want you…”
He held your face then, to bring your lips back to his, and you let him… and not only did you let him kiss you, you let him deepen that kiss, you kissed him back, you moaned into his mouth…
“I want you,” he whispered against your lips, breathing heavily, panting even. “God, you have no idea how much I want you, Y/N…”
You kissed again, both of you breathless while you struggled to walk across your living room, and all the way across your flat. You stumbled a little on the bed, both of you struggling to take your clothes off.
And suddenly there was so much skin to touch, to kiss, to gently bite on…
The way you sighed his name…
“Andy…”
He was kissing the skin of your thighs when you spoke his name again, louder this time.
“Andy.”
Your taste on his lips when you shouted, but it didn’t sound like a pleasurable cry…
“Andy!”
Andrew jumped up, startled, opening his eyes and falling onto the floor as the chair under him was pushed away by his rushed movements.
“Christ! Andy, you’re alright?”
He blinked, facing wooden tiles, a floor he recognised instantly…
“Andy?”
He looked up, following your voice. You were crouching by his side, fully dressed, in your black jeans and blue jumper, staring at him with worry in your eyes.
His eyes grew round.
He was at work. He had fallen asleep, he was in your office, in the same room as you while he dreamt of…
He sat up in a hurry, blushing to an extreme, looking anywhere but in your direction. Jesus… how could he ever look at you again…
His breathing was a mess, you stared at him with worried eyes, he knew you did, he could feel your gaze on him and the intention behind it.
“You’re okay? You look like you’re panicking…”
“I’m alright, sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry, you just… you were dozing off. I should have been more… gentle, I guess, to wake you up.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost 10 p.m.”
“Christ, we should go home anyway. Thank you for waking me.”
He was still doing his best to look away, to not make eye-contact with you…
… for now, he could see your eyes looking down on him while his tongue was…
“Well, if it makes you fall off your chair, that must have been some dream you were having,” you joked, unaware of how true your words were.
“Yeah,” he joked. “I don’t know, can’t remember to be fair.”
He was finally back on his feet, and you were standing too. You gave him a smile, again, he wasn’t looking at you but he could feel it. He could hear it in your voice too.
“You look flustered, Andy,” you chuckled.
He nervously rubbed at the back of his neck.
A lie, a lie, a lie… he needed to find a lie. He couldn’t tell you the truth, obviously, how he had dreamt of kissing you, of doing much more than simply kissing you…
He rested his hand on his desk for support, but when he looked as his own fingers, he could see them again touching your bare skin, picture them pleasuring you…
He cleared his throat, reached for his jacket.
“Yeah, well… I did fall asleep on the job and then made an arse of myself so…”
“Oh, Andy…”
Your voice was so soft, so filled with fondness that he had to look up at you.
“You truly are adorable when you blush, you know?” you said, and even though he guessed that there was teasing in your words, your voice sounded too genuine to feel this way.
You chuckled, embarrassed at your confession, it seemed. You pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.
And then you started laughing, trying to hide it behind your hand at first, but then you were gone in a fit of laughter.
“You…” you choked on your own words, brushing tears away, and your laugh was so infectious, Andrew started to chuckle as well. “You falling from your chair… was hilarious though… you just…”
You dramatically imitated his fall, making him explode with laughter too. You couldn’t stop laughing for a good five minutes, both of you holding your painful stomachs.
“You’re right though, let’s go home. It’s late, I’m exhausted… and we do have to do this all over again tomorrow.”
“My God… don’t mention that…” Andrew smiled, waiting for you to turn off your computer and put on your coat.
For once, he would have preferred to make a quick escape, so he could curse at himself all he wanted and let himself fully feel the unbearable weight of embarrassment that came with his fantasies; but it would have seemed strange, completely out of character and habits, and he didn’t want you to ask more questions.
He walked with you out of the empty building and all the way to your cars. You chatted about the classes you had the next day, the book he had just begun reading. It was so easy, talking with you, Andrew almost forgot his dream. He was only hit with the memory again when you turned to him to bid him good night, all grin and shiny smile, looking unbearably beautiful in the orange streetlights. He wanted to kiss you again then, and that’s when the images came back, how he imagined you lying in bed under him, moaning his name…
He cleared his throat, bid you good night and hurried to disappear into his car while he fiercely blushed again.
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“Y/N!”
“SIOBHÁN!”
People looked at the two of you as you ran across the train station, falling into each other’s arms, but none of you cared. Your best friend was back for a week, you had so many things to say and do together!
You helped her with her luggage while you crossed the station, then the parking lot all the way to your car. Before going to your flat, you needed to drop by Trinity for a meeting with Lydia you couldn’t move around in your schedule. There would be a conference organised later this year, hosted by Trinity, and she needed to start planning some details with you. Lydia wanted you for a conference, even if she hadn’t asked you officially yet, it was obviously the reason behind that meeting. You were grateful already that she would include you as one of the main speakers.
So, you took Siobhán to Trinity, showed her your building, got a coffee with her before heading to your office. She had brought her laptop, wanted to get some work done while waiting for you. After all, no one was truly on vacation when doing an academic job…
You spent some time talking with Colm in the corridor leading to your office, and he greeted your friend with a joyous tone. You were surprised to learn that he knew about Siobhán’s work, and you were almost ready to leave them alone for the rest of the afternoon as they were enthralled in a discussion about their work, when the door to your office opened. You saw Andrew walking out, bending down to avoid the doorframe. He greeted you with a warm smile, one that turned shyer when he noticed your friend.
Meanwhile, you saw the way Siobhán was raising a surprised eyebrow at your colleague, the way she blinked a couple of times and let her eyes trail along his frame for a couple of seconds, before catching herself.
“Hi, Andy!”
Siobhán sent you a questioning look that silently asked ‘THIS is Andy?!’
“Hi,” he answered with a tender smile.
“I’m glad to bump into you! I wanted to introduce you to my good friend, Siobhán! She’s staying in Dublin for a week. This is Andrew,” you added as you turned to Siobhán, without any other explanation. After all, you talked about Andrew often… or maybe, all the time.
“That’s very nice to meet you,” Andrew spoke in his softest, quietest voice, the one he used when he was feeling particularly shy, or when he wanted to soothe people around him.
He offered your friend his open palm, and she shook his hand with a grin.
“It’s nice to meet you too! Y/N can’t stop yapping about you, you know?”
You nudged her in the ribs, but she barely noticed. Andrew raised a surprised eyebrow, and yet you witnessed his expression turning into a smug one, almost cheeky.
“Does she now?” he asked, his tone teasing, and you hated your stupid heart for skipping a few beats at the light in his eyes, at how low and deep his voice sounded, at the hint of flirt in his tone…
“All the time. It’s exhausting!”
“Siobhán!” you complained, but your friend merely shrugged.
“Just telling the truth!”
“I only hope Y/N doesn’t tell too many bad things about me.”
“Nah, don’t worry! On the contrary!”
“Alright, we’ve got to go now, sorry! Weren’t you heading for a class, Andy?”
“I was, yeah…”
“Good…”
“But I can stay five more minutes if your friend can provide us with some terribly humiliating stories about you…”
“Ha, I’m afraid I can’t disclose such information to you, Andrew,” Siobhán replied.
“Really? Why not?”
“I have a feeling she would prefer to be more… attractive, to you.”
He raised a surprised eyebrow again, while your eyes were going as round as saucers.
“Bye, Andy,” you mumbled under your breath, grabbing Siobhán by the arm and dragging her inside your office while she waved at Andrew. You didn’t turn around to see his reaction, didn’t want to bear witness to your own humiliation…
You shut the door and locked it before turning to your friend, aghast.
“What the fuck was that?!”
“Are you banging him?!”
“What?! Of course not! He’s a colleague! He’s a friend!”
“He’s so bloody hot, though, Y/N…”
“Siobhán!”
“I am only speaking the truth. You’re single. He’s single. You’re hot. He’s hot. It all comes together beautifully. And such a nice voice he has… so damn sexy…”
“I am not sleeping with Andy nor will I sleep with him in the future.”
“He likes you.”
You snorted.
“Yeah, sure,” you replied sarcastically.
“He does! Did you see the way he beamed at you? He’s into you.”
“He’s not.”
“He is!”
“He’s not!”
“But you are into him.”
You blinked, opened and closed your mouth a couple of times trying to think of something to say, of an argument to find… but there was nothing that could come out of your mouth for a long time. Too long for your next words to be believed by this woman who knew you better than yourself.
“I… am not! I’m not! Not at all!”
“Oh, yes… you are…”
“I am not! I… I’m trying to get Frank back!”
She raised an unimpressed eyebrow, but you merely heaved a sigh.
“Sorry, I really do have to go to my meeting now, I’ll be back later.”
You left for your meeting, which turned into exactly what you had expected. You obviously accepted to be one of the speakers at the conference, and started planning a subject for your lecture.
Over an hour later, when you came back to your office, Andrew was chatting with Siobhán. You recognised his nervous laughter, the way he bent his shoulders a little to seem smaller and less intimidating. He was shy, but he seemed to genuinely get along fine with your friend, and for some reason, you felt a great feeling of pride run through you at the sight.
They both turned to you as you entered the room.
“So?” Andy asked, and you merely grinned at him. “Ha! I knew she would ask you to be one of the speakers!”
“Has she asked you yet?”
Andrew shook his head.
“I’ll apply, once we can officially do so.”
“Fingers crossed!”
He heaved a painful sigh.
“Christ, I hate those things…”
The three of you kept on chatting for a little while, but then Andrew was heading to another class, and you and Siobhán were going home. You had barely walked out of the building that your friend held onto your arm and leaned closer to whisper in your ear.
“Christ, Andrew is so much better than Frank. I give the two of you my blessing!”
You rolled your eyes.
“There’s nothing between us!”
“There should be! You deserve someone better than Frank. Someone like Andrew. Someone who looks at you the way Andrew does.”
“What do you mean?” you frowned at her words.
She gave you a knowing look.
“Y/N… his eyes lit up every time I mentioned you. He was looking at you like you hung the stars and the moon… the lad is a goner. Don’t waste your chance.”
You laughed at her, brushed it all off, told her she was mad and should stop talking nonsense. Andrew didn’t even like you. He couldn’t have…
… could he?
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tubborucho · 3 days ago
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'it's not much" <- 3700k words long
“To prevent our guard dog from biting,” Tubbo says wryly, when she finally flings the spoon away in frustration. “Punishment, they said.”
😭😭😭
Tbf, they would not stand a chance otherwise if they let Bad be absolutely free. And he should have been.
They hate them. The Eye. The spectators. The other contestants—the other victims . Them, and this damned mountain they call their home.
Crazy.
She knows she is a sinner. She just wants to be good.
Honestly, a powerful line. I will remember it for my demon characters in rp.
But also reminded this, lol⬇️
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Pierre and Tubbo are gone, most likely down in the mines. Every piece of machinery they try to make ends up frozen over, so their current plan is to build their next attempt beside a pit of lava. Tina tries to tell them about the busted gears and cut wires she finds whenever they rig a new mechanism up, but they shrug her off. It’s not that they don’t believe her: they just can’t believe her. Tina doesn’t want to dampen their hopes.
Aw ;( Man, it was sad that Create didn't work when watching Purgatory, but reading it in a text like that, where everything is so much more real...
Pol is headed down to help Pac, but not after pressing a canteen of tea into Rivers’ hands. She catches Tina’s eye, and offers her a small wave. Rivers is a bit more of a lone wolf, but she is Tina’s favorite travel buddy on the rare occasion she ventures out.
I love Rivers so much. Have I ever told anyone how much I love her.
In the distance, she can hear Niki’s laughter as Missa excitedly tells her his plans for the day. All apple related, of course.
Apple boy :D
Bad kicks at the ground impatiently and Tubbo’s face turns pitying. “Sorry, man, I don’t think it’s right to take you. You can’t make any callouts and you haven’t eaten since yesterday. Just…keep watch, and we’ll figure out how to take that thing off tonight.”
Tubbo is right. He is so right. But also :(((((((((((((((((((((( Let my guy maim, he did nothing wrong
Bad growls, low and inhuman and right from his chest. Tubbo doesn’t flinch. He’s held Bad off before when he was much worse: rabid with bloodlust and fully armed. “Keep an eye on him,” he tells Tina, and brushes past them to the boats.
I will never not feel like taht⬇️
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over Tubbo and Bad's dynamic in purgatory. It just makes my brain go haywire. Or honestly, Bad in all the Soulfire. It's just 'what if this powerful destructive being cared for you and let you be its keeper' AAAAA reminds me of one clingy duo fic taht is Doctor Who crossover, and Tubbo is a Time Lord that is known to be the perfect killer, The Virtuoso, but he lets Tommy hold his crown (the metaphorical leash here) and decide, where he can go apeshit.
ANYWAY.
For the rest of the day, Bad prowls the shore, back and forth, back and forth, like a restless predator. Usually, he never scares Tina when he’s like this, always adding in some dumb quip or joke. But his jaw is locked in place, so he doesn’t speak. He just hunts.
*giggling, twirling my hair and kicking my feet in the air* Евгений, вы такой опасный (<- a very niche russian meme)
A winter storm is upon them. It’s not natural—nothing down here is. This is a punishment specifically for them.
*sigh* of course it is
Tina whirls into action.
Leaving Bad be for now, she sprints over to where Niki, Lenay, and Missa are, and sends them down to the underground base with Pac. “Start a new farm there,” she tells them as she presses the last of their seeds into Niki’s hands. “Plant everything, remember to place torches. We need it warm and finished by tonight.”
Whenever she relays instructions, she’s always half-expecting a fight, and it stuns her every time when her teammates listen without complaint. Once they’re off, she begins dismantling the tents they’ve been sleeping in.
TINA THE GOAT. THE MVP. I LOVE HER. WE ALWAYS BEED TO TALK MORE ABOUT HOW EPIC SHE WAS AND AND AND *foaming, Anderson's Little Mermaid style*
“It’s so fucking cold here,” he complains. “Anything interesting happen?"
“I think it’s gonna snow,” Tina says dully.
Tubbo raises an eyebrow and points at the flakes swirling around them.
“No, like a snowstorm, idiot,”
They are both idiots <3
Tina watches as Tubbo examines the muzzle with the critical eye of an engineer. “How the fuck did they attach this?” Tubbo huffs, wrestling with the lock. Finally, he wedges the pickaxe between a weak link and strikes down, hard, and the muzzle falls to the ground.
Bad doubles over to cough, rubbing at his throat. “Language,” he mumbles, voice rough with disuse.
Bruh /affectionate
Tubbo ignores him, watching as Bad flexes his jaw. That’s their leader, Tina thinks, admiringly. He had done his job for the day: ensured Soulfire made it another day, brought back the monster they call friend to the playing field. Now, Tina thinks with trepidation, it’s her turn.
This makes me so so so incredibly happy for no good reason. This paragraph on standalone can make my dopamine levels shoot up.
Tubbo does, in fact, love the new base, and he tells her so, mind already racing with ideas for farms and contraptions.
Of course he does. It's the best base a Coach could need🥲
“No, I just—” Tina crouches down, sifts through snow. “ It’s all gone . This is—” Tears are coming now, and she blinks them away furiously. “I thought—” She slams her hand down into the snow. “ This was all I had! ”
I will kill everyone for you, Tina. Just point a finger. I will kill them.
The underground base is small, just one long, low-ceiling room, but they’ve made it surprisingly cozy. Lanterns and flowers hang from the ceiling, and a soul campfire crackles blue. It’s green and lush and warm in here, and the tension in Tina’s shoulders can’t help but drain away.
Home
As Tubbo searches for bandages, Trousers toddles up to her with a pouch of tea leaves and she takes it with a smile.
TROUSERS. I WILL ACTUALLY GENUINELY CRY. I MISS LIL BUDDIES.
“What did you do to get sent here, anyways?” she asks finally. “What are your sins?”
“I don’t know.” Tubbo shrugs. “Fucked around and found out, I guess.”
“Seriously,” Tina prompts.
“Seriously,” Tubbo agrees. “I tend to try and stretch the limits. Usually, I get away with it. But this time—”
“Fucked around and found out,” Tina finishes. “Yeah, I get it.”
My guy will press his forehead to the gun if only to know how long it will take the wielder to make a decision to shoot.
Would include a clip as proof, but unfortunately can't add videos to reblogs.
Tubbo falls silent for a moment. “We’re gonna win,” he says finally, and he has a viscous determination that sends a shiver down her spine. “We’re gonna win, and we’re gonna save everyone’s kids and then we’re gonna ram a sword through that motherfucker’s eyeball.”
And in a perfect world you did.
she’s missed the way he drives her up the wall.
“Oh, thank you, Bad. I can almost forgive you for being absolutely deranged” Tina
" No , Tina," Bad says, as if that weren't a perfectly valid question. "It's a bone saw. I thought you'd need it. They're growing back."
Tina cocks her head. "What?"
Bad motions to his head. "Your horns."
“You—” Tina’s stomach drops. “You know.”
“Well,” Bad replies, and his shoulders hunch. “So do you.”
AWW.
“Why do you always ask me these questions like it’s some test?” Tina says, frustrated. “Don’t you trust me?”
When Bad speaks, his tone is light. “Can I trust you?”
“You’re my team,” she says fiercely. “You. Tubbo. Everyone. And I’m not just saying that! I mean it. I’ll fight for you if you fight for me.” She wants to be needed, so badly.
Bad finishes his work. He hands the knife back to her, and she takes it by the hilt and slips it in her pack. There’s the barest hint of a smile on his face, sad and knowing. “Then I think we’re on the same page.”
Okay, this js just SO. I miss Team Soulfire. They were insane. In the most deeply soul-crashing way.
“I follow your instructions!”
“You do not and it stresses me out every day—”
Bad does not make it easy for Tubbo🤣 /affectionate
“Tubbo, you’ll die in fifty years and Tina and I won’t even miss you,” Bad replies petulantly.
Liar💙
“Oh, did she ask you too?” Tubbo spins on his heel, walking backwards so he can face them both. “Yours seem pretty obvious. No offense, Bad.”
“Offense taken,” Bad assures him.
They are horrible. I lovevthem.
“Let’s head back home, then.”
Tina swallows the lump in her throat. What a simple word, lovely and warm.
They head back home.
🥹🥹🥹
Okay, overall, I loved it to death. It was so good. I am just pacing in the kitchen. I need more. Please, if you EVER feel like writing more – do it. It's just. There's something just so. ARGH.
Thank you.
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bone-deep | soulfire found family fic (tina/tubbo/bbh centric)
The night after they muzzle Bad, Tina tries to feed him spoonfuls of tea through the bars. It’s bolted under his jaw, allowing him to do little more than bare his teeth. But he lets her attempt anyways, eyes soft and patient even when her fingers tremble under the cold. All they have is tea. That, a few loaves of stale bread, and half-frozen carrots. All they have is tea, Bad can’t talk, and Tina is so cold.
Or: Purgatory AU, without the prior events of the QSMP. Team Soulfire tries to survive.
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zoppzoop · 6 months ago
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GAAHAHHHHH
#venting in the tags#maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much#but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn#im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but#i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me#feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it.#plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel#like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went#back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening#and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just#crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and#usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine.#i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better#but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that#plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut#the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad#'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like#shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those#fuck you you bitch#i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep#tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less#ps. note to anyone reading the tags#im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.
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hobisexually · 7 months ago
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long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
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faaun · 1 year ago
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WARNING: The penalty for trespassing on the railway is £1000.
#here is the story of two researchers and one 0 on the truth table. here is how you almost tied up my arm in a belt#because you lost your tourniquet and neither of you could find my veins. did it feel good to get it off your chest#did it feel cathartic to talk about sin? in a room full of policymakers and experts i shook hands with a theoretical#physicist creating breathing metal. we talked about annual ruination. there is a boy in gold earrings#and two strangers growing a fake hologram with their minds. you discover you like wine and that you are#perhaps only a little bit cutthroat. here is a teapot full of tequila and a glance a curling of the lips that renders you [0]#first on the index and quickly overlooked. you want to be loved? here is the difficult bit. girl teaches you how to speak mandarin. still#too drunk to find your veins but here i want to be loved anyway. in a shocking turn of events the thing that keeps me alive#projected through my lovers noise cancelling headphones causes a slow peak in the 10 millisecond span i process#falling lights and yet increases accuracy to almost 87.5%. is it magic or are you just discussing your downfall?#the truth is have no skill or qualification to my name. i want you to listen to me. he said you will be a king. he said if a bomb#fell on this room everything that matters would be over. YOU WANNA LEARN ABOUT LOVE YOU SELFISH FUCKER? YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN ME#WHEN YOU WERE 15. THE LOVE IS GONE IF YOU HAVE TO ASK IT. hes the alaskan#WHEN YOU WERE 15. THE LOVE IS GONE IF YOU HAVE TO ASK IT. i am the alaskan malmute under the dinner table begging for scraps#in a place im not supposed to be. in the field it was me with the drumsticks her (the world piano champion and the researcher and the#the machine gun) with the 巴乌 him with the guitar this is outside of london this is the ex presidents ex advisor telling you to give up#this is your brain and this is the day after doom. this is her washing the EEG conductive gel out of your hair in the restaurant bathroom#this is the skill to possess guilt without carrying shame.
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inkblot-inc · 2 years ago
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Jaws would love learning how to cook different foods from everyone the Avengers associate with. They make sure to learn some Russian dishes from Melina for Natasha and Yelena. They ask Carol if she can find alien cook books. Would they be able to get the ingredients or even read it? Probably not. But they’d work with Vision to see if they could come up with similar items on earth. A visit from the folks of Wakanda? Jaws has so many questions.
Jaws is definitely down, but I feel like this could also tap into a Sam and Jaws type of venture, Especially when we go into the alien food. This is just another step forward from them traveling to different places to try food (i believe we've talked about them with food twice if i'm not mistaken)
Onto other notes:
While both Sam and Jaws have seen a few segments on Russian cuisine that they've replicated to try, Jaws does ask Melina for help finding recipes they could make for Natasha and Yelena specifically that they'd like.
After Carol finds said alien cookbooks, Vis is definitely able to come up with earth substitutions for them to use instead. The recipes that don't "have substitutions" for some ingredients are left up to Sam to freestyle off the top of his head what will go with what's already in the pot T-T. These ones are pretty hit or miss in general tho.
And you'd best believe Jaws whips out a pen and paper while Sam is asking Shuri about What food they make in Wakanda. Since they can't go into the country without expressed permission, Jaws isn't trying to forget details, though it might just be quicker to use a tape recorder or something-
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louismygf · 2 years ago
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raw reactions (unedited & VERY messy) to fitf aoty!!!! (u can read my tags for my general, spoiler-free thoughts!)
⚠️ spoilers for fitf under the cut ⚠️
THE GREATEST
SO GOOD SOO GOOD SO GOOD im getting imagine dragons vibes(???) HSHDBDH i said you knoww meee UYGDHHD THAT PARTTT THAT PART. this is so epic omg.... it sounds HUUUUGE god this would sound GOOOD in a stadium 🫦🫦🫦🫦
waoyf
WWWOEDJJDJ instrumentalsssss is gooddd "HEY BABE" FUCK. SHSBDBSBSBSB THIS IS CRIMINALLLSLSMDNDNDJJDBDNNS THIS IS SOOOO FUCKING GOOD the FUCKKKK!!!!!! bBnznsnd i looove this one i love it o loekdkdn LOVE....., so catchy the chorus is so GOOOOOOOOD babey...... bro the oooh oooh sounds in the backgrounddddd cant wait to sing that THIS ONEEEE is so good FUCK uhhhhhdhdhhh i wanna put this one on loop so bad SO bad.
btm
okay breather....... i love btm 🫶 my first louis single !!!shes special 2 me ! the high notes 💯💯 uugghow just really an impressive song overall it's 👌 yeah!!! feel like louis didnt give her a lot of love though </3 OK, the instrumentals in this one is soo so so addicting ..., & btm bridge 💘💘💘💘💘💘 yes! !! !
lucky again
the guitars r so good. louis' voice is so good. i love this oneeeeee goddddd i wanna replay itttttttt loveeeeeeeLOVEEE his voiceeee hereeeeeeee in the prechorussssss "and i love you for that" AHHHH.... chill vibe <3 ahhhh it's sooooo so so so good aw that was too short
face the music
WAITTTT waittttt WAIT. this one!!!!!IS AMAZING. the guitars r LOUDDDD oh god..., i need to read the lyrics to this one i cant understand anythinfdh 😭 i still want to dance w u too 😭 wait come back😭😭😭😭
chicago
oh god ok it's starting...., ooh these lyrics ok ! intrigued?! this is so 2000s omg i rmr sitting in the car & listening to these kinda bands. so if youre lonely in chicago you can call me baby, wow chicago louies won with this one actually HSBBDD this is so sad 😭 i like it though !!
all this time
upbeat! !!! i love this oneeeeeeee i LOOOVE ittttttt this album was made for me i really rwally rsally like every single one so farrr love the chorus on this one i like the lyrics :,) ooooh experimental haha love the kinda bug sounds towards the end😭
out of my system
ok mussy song!!!!!!!!! absolutely slaps like LOVEDDDD it on the first listen, still fucking love it today Ugh a BOPPPP a bop. the last chorus forever is a hit to my heart it's so intense u just feeeel it in your chest!!! like the lyrics ykkkk?!??!? gotta grt it off of my chest is SO RIGHT
headline
ok this one...., v chill <3 the harmonies r so good <33 oh thisd be good in a concert you can just sway to the music with your hands up kinda vibe. problematic ending line (bc ofc, louis is king of toxic relationships)
saturdays
baby how is this hopeful girl i am tearing up fr
silver tongues
ok didnt really write a lot for saturdays bc i was literally crying gfjfjfg love the trnasition between saturdays and silver tongues actually it's perfectt. goddd this album is so fucking good i cant. process this so many good fucking songssssssss sbbdb it's actually insane louis' so amazing .
she is beauty we are world class
whats this man singing to my ears. so what is this song about 😭 before during and after hearing this song, i have no clue what it's about i thought it'd be for football HSBBDD hm..., it's cute :) im just so? confused and. so Much so confused 😭 it IS a vibe though
common people
oooh acoustic guitar OKAY is this louis playing. why are we winding down oh no its becoming calm.... are the next songs tear inducimg im not ready. this one is so home-y hehe 💘 yessssss love the BEAT DROP💕 CUTE 🫶🏽🫶🏽
angels fly
scared for this one. ok i like it. i realllyyy like it. ok im. teary-eydd. . ... love this prechorus :( this chorus is sooo uuughdg i love the lyricssss....:((( this is a sweet sweet song
holding on to heartache
looove the melody of this one!! (<- me pretending i wasnt crying earlier) you know the partys overAaaaaa!!!that part nothings ever EASYYYY. TO BE HONEST IM NOT EASY ON MYSELF????? 😭 i love the message of this one so much :( really gooood!!!!!!! it's a lot to think about..., loved the subject matter of this one... and placing it after angels fly feels. right..... ah i need to read the lyrics to this one it's GOODDD
thats the way love goes
ok louli anthem im ready. okay louis comforting oli after getting dumped this is 🫶 the way he sings thats the way love goes feels like hes smiling 😭 CUTEEE this was cute :,) that was a good closer actually !!!! :)
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lesenbyan · 1 month ago
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Suddenly thinking about seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo and about how there has got to be an intimacy in sharing a story, no matter if you hate each other after. Even if the story is less confession than fact
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savannahsdeath · 1 year ago
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Ellie and reader having sex, but Ellie starts to talk dirty and reader gets embarrassed so she hides her face in ellies neck. But Ellie teases and tells her not to hide bc she's so pretty. (Imagining this w/ strap in missionary position if u could do that'd be wonderful😍)
shes so awhzjxbag ok i cant . also i got really carried away but uhh hushh warnings: just strap on smut, everything said in the ask;)))
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: ̗̀➛ "you hear that?" ellie asked, smiling proudly as she looked down at you. you closed your eyes and tried to focus on whatever she meant, but the only sound entering your used, tired brain was your own moans. you strained your hearing and slowly drifted off to more distant things, like the strap pumping in and out of your desperate cunt, messily and noisily. "such a mess..." ellie chuckled, listening to the sloppy act. "but it's not my fault you're so wet for me."
: ̗̀➛ you gulped, losing a hold of your concentration. your foggy mind couldn't think of an answer - did you do something wrong? should you apologise? or was it some kind of a praise? "els—" you started, but the long s turned into a melodious moan.
: ̗̀➛ "speak up, sweetie." ellie whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead. you used the moment of closeness to hold the back of her neck, not letting her pull away. she cocked her head to the side, your gaping lips brushing her earlobe as another whine escaped your throat. you quickly pursed your lips, letting yourself make only muffled sounds. but you didn't last long, as every thrust and every inaudible whimper seemed to forcefully open your mouth from the inside. "don't hold back, i want to hear you." ellie reassured, but much to your surprise she didn't wait with her ear next to your face to hear your response. she tilted her head to face you, making you feel her piercing, but not judgemental, gaze.
: ̗̀➛ you honored her with another moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, to the point your eyelids uncontrollably closed. "mh— fuck." you groaned, your fists clenching around the bed sheets as your chest raised in a deep breath.
: ̗̀➛ "i can make you feel way better." ellie bit her bottom lip, holding back a proud smile. "i can make you be way louder. do you want that?" you huffed, way too dumb to speak up. she could as well start talking about the weather now, and you wouldn't have any idea how hilarious it is. "tell me, doll."
: ̗̀➛ you swallowed up another pornographic sound which wanted to sneak out of your throat. ellie's questions were usually easy to answer, so you thought a simple, weak "yes" will satisfy her.
: ̗̀➛ yet, her only response was an amused "yes... what?" as she brushed your messy hair out of your face.
: ̗̀➛ your face flushed, almost burnt with heat. your hands tightened their grip, bringing her closer, making your face find a spot to hide in - the crook of her neck. "i—" your lips parted again, brushing against her skin. she let out a sound similiar to your whine, as if to mock you, yet there was a loving undertone to it. "want you to make me feel good, els." you quickly murmured, finding a one second break.
: ̗̀➛ "well, i want to see your pretty face as i do." she whispered in a gentle tone, but didn't move away. "you have no idea how beautiful you look under me, with half lidded and watery eyes." she continued and your body slowly got rid of the previous tension, your grip on her also relaxing. she finally withdrew, glaring down at you. "just don't move and look pretty for me, yeah?"
✧˖°
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milo-is-rambling · 1 year ago
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How do me and my mother manage to get into a fight every fucking day I want to dieeeeee how have we fought about bullshit and it’s not even ten in the morning like what the fuck I’m so fucking miserable and no one likes me they all make fun of me I need to move out or I’m going to fucking ruin my life !!!!! (Also why won’t my fucking period just start so I can get all of these emotions to stop bothering me!!!)
#literally been home for less than three days and every interaction with my mother has felt like a punch to the gut#today she was bitching to me about my brother leaving his hoodie and his hat on/around the couch he sits on and my mom was bitching about#how he leaves his shit everywhere and whatever else and I was like dude you gotta cut him some slack yknow like he’s been used to living in#a dorm and having a living space where he could be a person and my mom proceeded to be like ‘he doesn’t live here’ AND IM LIKE HE DOES NOW#HE GRADUATED AND MOVED BACK HOME AND YOURE TREATING HIM LIKE A CHILD HE IS DOING ONLINE COURSES AND LOOKING FOR JOBS AND YOU TREAT HIM LIKE#A CHILD#UGHHHH#my mother then proceeded to once again tell me off for being bossy and telling her what to do and I’m sitting here like maybe you should try#fucking listening to me then and treating my brother like a part of the family instead of like company#I know he’s in the guest room technically but he’s part of this fucking family and you and I both have side tables to put shit on its not#his fault that he put his jacket on the couch he has no where else to put it he’s gonna wear it again next time he comes out like what the#fuck why is she such a bitch and then she gets mad at me like idk what you want from me#I used to never get along with my brother and now I’m defending him to you and you act like he’s the worst person ever#like why do you hate your children so much why do you love him but you hate me I’m so sick of crying over mommy issues#but if my mother could just like me that would be incredible I really feel like everyone hates me constantly and no one wants me around and#I try to defend my brother and be nice and it only makes my mother hate me so I just go into my room bc I’ve tried over and over again to be#nice to my mother and apparently I’m doomed to just fucking hate her and have everything I say be an insult or some nit picky bullshit bc my#mouth won’t stop saying whatever my brain is thinking and I keep apologizing and then I keep saying shit it’s like I have the happiest two#few days after months of being alone and miserable and then I come home and immediately it’s like my mother just no longer likes me#I feel like I’m stuck in perpetual coming home from a sleepover mode#do you guys remebrr that? coming home from a sleepover after being happy and your family would instantly make fun of you for being happy or#excited or wanting to talk about the sleepover and then you’d cry and go into your room and feel like shit bc everyone hates you and then#you’d start to assume that everyone at the sleepiver thought the same thing as your family and thought you were annoying and interrupting#their lives by being happy I mean whatttt haha yeah did that happen to anyone else or just me 😭👍👍👍👍#life recently feels like it’s ​me being happy vs me realizing joy doesn’t last vs me needing to ruin my own joy so someone else doesn’t do i#first. I have very strong need to hurt myself before someone else can energy but all it does is make sure I get hurt twice cause someone’s#always gonna hurt my feelings and not care so I should be showing myself compassion but all I want to do is tear my skin apart#been so fucking depressed since I got home I’m fucking miserable and my family hates me I hate everything and I’m so stressed I hate this#anyways 😭😭😭😭 can’t stop crying recently after not crying for months now talking about anything makes me cry and I hate it#I’m embarassing myself constantly bc I can’t hold back from crying
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elicathebunny · 11 months ago
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FINALLY CLOSING THE GAP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HIGHEST SELF IN 2024.
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You are going to STOP scrolling endlessly for self-help and advice content and you are going to STOP and apply the knowledge you have endlessly gained. Obtaining help and advice knowledge is useless if it goes through one ear and comes straight out the other. STOP becoming addicted to the idea of scrolling and scrolling for your problems yet you already have the resources to fix them. A fool is a person who cannot decide to take action despite having access to the information needed to do so.
BREAKING FREE FROM THE SCROLLING CYCLE
Learning and Applying is one thing, but Learning and Staying Stationary is literally brain rot. You're addicted to the idea of change and the end result, but you never take the steps towards discipline with a personal structure to get that result. You keep looking for quick fixes and easy hacks, but life is not a quick fix and no hack can elevate your life from 0% to 100% without visiting the rest of the numbers first.
TAKE A BREAK FROM SCROLLING
Take time away from your usual scrolling and learn to be on your own. Learn your own ways of self-care, learn what works for you and understand what you need, because nobody is the same. Following a millionaire's morning routine will not make you a millionaire. This routine has worked for someone to feel and be productive in the morning and was probably curated over the years to suit their current lifestyle. So, seeing other people's successes and comparing their working ways to your life is unrealistic if you are not in a position to implement them. Going straight from 0% (Being unproductive and procrastinating) to 100% (Being incredibly Productive and in tune with self) will not be sustainable for someone who has not built the discipline and the inner foundations required for it. STOP seeing information online and taking it without ALTERING anything to your personal situation.
STOP ASKING HOW TO AND JUST DO
"How to lose weight, How to become more social, How to do this and that"
Most of these things you ALREADY know the answer to. Everybody knows that to lose weight, you need to burn more than you consume. There is literally no other way, no magic and no secret hack, just that simple fact. I guarantee you know that to become more social you just have to be social. Learn to be comfortable in social situations which will require inner work, but it's not a difficult concept. Most of us know what we need to do, yet we still try to find quick fixes or another way that same message is presented to us differently. We act as if we are improving and developing on our "improvement" journey yet we are just finding coping ways to feel like we are moving, yet we are still in the exact same place as before. I know you know what to do, I know you have researched what you should do and ways you can do it. So why are you not doing it? Why are you still not where you want to be? If you are not where you want to be, then what you're currently doing needs to change. You cannot do the exact same thing you've been doing for years and expect a different outcome. You need to curate a routine suited to your needs that is realistic and achievable to adopt.
LEARNING TO MOVE ON YOUR OWN, STOP DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO FUEL YOUR SUCCESS JOURNEY LISTEN TO: NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU BY JULIENHIMSELF Make yourself your safe space, your foundation. When you see yourself in the mirror you should be able to tell yourself "I love you", you should be so sure in what you do that nobody else can contradict what you believe in yourself, this is the end goal of self-improvement. Many of us have put aside our goals because we "are not ready", "people may judge us" or "I need to be/achieve ___ to.." Now don't get me wrong, I'm on this journey with you. I write on this blog to teach my brain how to think in the higher mindset that I'm creating for myself. I too have thoughts like this which is why in 2024 we are going to break out of our old selves to make room for our new selves together. We have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. If you're mood and self-worth are controlled by other people's opinions, then you will never advance further with yourself and will remain stationary. You have to stop allowing other people to determine whether you are allowed to pursue your desires or if you shouldn't because of fear of rejection. Don't take life too seriously, we are only here for so much time. So what if people make fun of you? In a few years will you look back and be proud and fulfilled of your past or feel regret and disappointment? LISTEN TO: WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH BY JULIANHIMSELF + LISTEN TO: HOW TO DETACH BY VICKITA TRIVEDI
The only way to get to 0%-100% is by doing.
Embody your potential
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aliteralsemicolon · 6 months ago
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Technically, I didn't stay up.
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Just you and Spencer being fluffy when he comes home from work and falling asleep in each other's arms.
Spencer Reid X GN! Reader. 
DISCLAIMER This story is completely SFW, minors do not interact regardless!  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. 
Word count: 1K See notes at end for authors note, any spoilers & update schedules.
I was listening to Margaret when I initially started writing this:
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Spencer’s abnormal work hours were something you were entirely used to. You never knew when he was going to be called away and although he would text you when a case wrapped up, it was never a guarantee that he was going to make it home. Actually more often than not, he was usually hauled right back in for another case. What could you do? Serial killers didn’t really care about his convenience. Regardless, you always insisted on being present to greet him at the door, even if it meant testing your sleep schedule.
from: Spence ❤️
20:42 | The jet took off not too long ago. We should land in roughly five hours. Please don’t force yourself to wait up.
20:42 | I love you!
You were quick to respond to everything except the not waiting up part. Your plan hadn’t actually gone that smoothly, you’d fallen asleep on the couch not long after making yourself comfortable there. You didn’t hear him unlock the door. He took extra care to be as quiet as possible when abandoning his shoes and satchel at the entrance. He even put a lot of thought into making his steps as light as possible when he began to make his way to the bedroom, only to spot you curled up on the couch. 
He smiled to himself at the sight in front of him. The only lighting was a small lamp in the corner of the room, but to him, you were the brightest presence in the room. Your expression was neutral and your breaths shallow as you lay dead to the world. You looked so peaceful, he considered it to be almost criminal if he were to disturb you. He couldn’t just leave you there though. It wasn’t good for your body to be curled into a cramped position. 
Spencer made his way over to you, crouching down next to your face. He couldn’t help but admire whatever features were visible. He brushed a strand of hair out of your face and leaned in to kiss your forehead. “Honey?” he whispered when he pulled away. His voice was so soft. He didn’t want to disturb you, but he wanted you to be comfortable in your own bed. “Hmm?” Your brain registered his voice, but it took your body a second to register his presence.
Spencer still had a hand in your hair, lightly stroking it. Your eyes fluttered open momentarily before they shut again. “You’re back!” You mumbled groggily, reaching out to brush your fingers against his hand. “I am!” He whispered gleefully. Your other hand made its way to his face so you could stoke his jaw. You could feel a little bit of stubble coming in. Spencer’s ears perked up at the little giggle that came out of you when you dropped from the couch into his lap and wrapped yourself around him. 
“I’m sorry to wake you. I did tell you not to stay up.” His long arms swallow you into his embrace as he speaks. 
“Technically, I didn’t stay up.” You counter letting your hand make its way into the hair at the nape of his neck. 
“Sleeping on a surface that isn’t firm enough can contribute to back pain and because the surface of a couch tends to be softer than a mattress, it might not offer enough support for your back. Also, falling asleep while sitting up on a couch could result in your head pushing forward, which puts stress on the neck. Sleep posture is an important predictor of stiffness, back pain, and neck pain, according to several studies.” 
“Thank you Doctor. I remember why I missed you so much.” You pull back as you speak. “Who else is going to be as concerned about my sleep posture as you?”
“I missed you too.” He scoffs in amusement and smiles into the kiss you lean in for. 
You nuzzle your head into the crook of his neck when you feel a yawn coming. “Let’s go to bed, okay?” He whispers, sensing your sleeping demeanour. 
“Only if I can take you with me.” You whisper into his skin. He huffs a small laugh as he pushes you off him so he can stand and offers his arms down to you. You grab them and he pulls you up. Neither of you let go of each other's hand as you walk into the bedroom. “I’m just going to brush my teeth first, then I’ll be right with you.” Spencer announces. Still ever the germaphobe.
“I’m gonna join you, that nap made my mouth all dry.” You follow behind him. Spencer grabs both of your toothbrushes and holds them out, as you grab the toothpaste and squeeze an equal amount on each brush. You then take yours out of his hand and the two of you begin brushing. You’re both trying to make up for his time away by leaning into each other, stealing glances in the mirror and smiling if you get caught. 
When you both finish up in the bathroom, you make your way back to the bedroom together. It's like both of you are incapable of being away from each other right now, even for a second. Spencer decides against changing into more comfortable clothes, wanting nothing more than to hold you. He joins you under the comforter, immediately pulling you as close to him as possible. 
Neither of you have enough energy in you for conversation right now, you’re still sleepy from your previous nap and Spencer is entirely drained from the case. Still, you acknowledge each other through light touches and kisses. Spencer’s hand now makes its way to your hair while you draw little patterns against his chest. 
‘I missed u’ 
‘I <3 u’
‘♡’
‘:)’
He doesn’t recognise the little messages, but he appreciates the feeling all the same. You begin drifting off into sleep, revelling in the warmth emitting from him. Spencer smiles when he hears light snores coming from you. He truly considers himself the luckiest man alive. You don’t hear it but before he drifts off himself, he makes his feelings known to the universe in a light whisper.
“I love you so much you know. I’m gonna marry you someday.”
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Spoilers: Fluff, Domestic! Spencer, entirely fluffy & domestic. Literally a comfort blurb for the people who take hot showers for too long and just need a hug.
AN - Hey so sorry for any errors, I drafted this in like 20 minutes to make up for the fact that my originally planned story for today would not be complete in time. Enjoy this short blurb. I was in a salty mood and made an entirely angst blurb too, but decided fluff was what society needed today. Also sorry for the shitty fucking title, my brain is shutting down. Also side note - I’m a WHORE for domestic! Spencer. I just loveeeeee when everyday tasks become so cute and fluffy and romantic. PLEASE recommend domestic Spencer stories!!!
Update Schedule: Original plan drops Monday or Tuesday (Sunday or Monday night EST time). (soooo apparently I'm a liar)
Feel free to drop helpful constructive criticism, I’m always looking to improve. Remember to stay real and respectful :)
Thank you for reading!
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pinkie-quinns · 22 days ago
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(posting some old twitter threads here for posterity's sake)
Chrissy and Eddie breakup. She's a lesbian, apparently. Has finally come to terms with it. It's half a decade of Eddie's life in the dust. He... he doesn't exactly handle it well.
But Steve's there for him, offers Eddie a shoulder to cry on.
They’re drunk when Eddie says no one’s ever been in love with him. Not really. So Steve kisses him.
But Eddie’s straight.
He always has been.
He freaks the fuck out. Bolts. Lets the calls go to voicemail. He’d lost his partner and one of his best friends in the span of a week and it’s not fair and he’s pissed off beyond belief at Steve for doing it. 
But he’s also confused. And he also can’t stop thinking about it. 
He stews on it for weeks. Avoids mutual friends like the plague. The band lets people know he’s alive, apparently. Between losing Chrissy and Steve, he feels like there are chunks of him missing. So he gets drunk. Hooks up with blondes who kiss him all wrong. 
He’s five whiskeys deep and when he finds himself banging at Steve’s door. Steve answers with his hair mussed and his voice sleep-rough. And Eddie tells him he’s really fucking pissed at him. And Steve apologizes again. And it should be enough but it’s just fucking not. 
So Steve apologizes again and again and again, all blubbery and guilt-ridden. It's only making Eddie more angry. And he doesn’t know why. And he’s too drunk for this shit.
So he shoves Steve against the door and kisses him stupid. 
He wakes up in his own bed the next morning and he's sure he dreamt it. (He’s been dreaming it a lot lately.) But his lips are all stubble-scrapped and his mouth is cotton but he remembers how his friend's tongue tasted and he just.. Wants to cry.
Cause he’s not gay. He’s not. Other people are. Most of his friends are. And he’s fine with that! He’s been a good ally.
Well, maybe not to Chrissy. But only cause it broke his goddamn heart. Only cause he loved her so much. Only cause he'd never felt that way about anyone before or anyone since.
Except well— Fuck. Shit fucking fuck.
So he calls her. He’s kind of hoping it’ll ring through but she picks up straight away, lets out a soft little hey. And it breaks his heart all over again to hear her voice. But he takes a breath and says, “I kissed Steve.”
And she pauses. “You kissed Steve?"
And then he says, “Well, he kissed me first. But yeah. I got drunk. Jeez Chris, I got wasted. And then I— yeah, I kissed him.”
And she's quiet for a long time, just soft breathing and static. Then she says, “Thank you for telling me, Eddie.”
And oh. That’s what it was, wasn’t it?
So they talk about it. All of it. And he really listens to her this time. He couldn’t the last time, couldn’t hear over the sound of his heart fuckin’ shattering. Then he’s the one blubbering apologies cause his girl was going through all this shit totally alone and he is now way too familiar with how bad it sucks.
And then they talk about It. The big It. All the stuff her mama drilled into her brain since she was in diapers. All the names that got spat at him between hall shoves. Shit they couldn’t be 'cause then they’d be wrong, shit they couldn’t be 'cause then they’d be right. 
And when they’re done and the conversation turns into How’s the band? and Is Marcel still driving you crazy? Eddie feels ten pounds lighter, almost whole again. Like he was but better, all glued together in gold. Well, almost altogether.
He really needs to talk to Steve. 
He knocks on his door again that night. This time not at 1 AM, this time sober and remarkably dehydrated.
And Steve answers. This time put together, this time hair done and voice in its day pitch (Eddie kinda misses the sleep rasp). And he looks.. fuck. He looks perfect, doesn’t he?
Eddie’s spent all day mulling this conversation over. But standing here now he’s coming up blank. He mutters, “I- I was an asshole.”
Steve opens his mouth but Eddie just trucks on.
“–you were an asshole too, man. But me, uh, probably more?” 
And he ignores the way his stupid traitor eyes start to water, always do when the moment feels too big. “–Sorry about that. Sorry that I freaked, sorry that I was pissed at you for the shit I was just pissed at myself for. Sorry for, uh. Yelling at you. Sorry, um. Yeah. Sorry for kissing you. That definitely wasn’t cool. It’s been uh... a confusing month. Shit. I’m so sorry Steve.”
Steve just leans against the door. Normally he wore everything on his face. Couldn't win Texas Hold 'Em to save his life. Not now though. Now it feels like Steve could have a sleeve full of aces and Eddie wouldn’t know a thing.
But then he says “Eddie” so quiet it sounds like he hadn't even meant to. Like it just slipped onto his tongue.
Eddie can’t do anything but blink, “Yeah?”
“Let me um-” Steve swallows, “Let me get this straight. Where’d you land?”
God, this shit was humiliating, “Not that. Straight. Not straight.”
“Ok. Cool.”
“Yup.”
“And me–” Steve scratches at the back of his neck, “where did you land on me?”
Eddie feels like he’s gonna explode. But he can’t bolt. Not again. Even though every bone in his body wants to. So he plants his feet, coughs, “Well, I pretty much assaulted you, didn’t I?”
Steve rolls his eyes, snarks a laugh. “Sure. Yeah. I’ve been totally gone on you since, I dunno, forever. You were straight. You were basically married to your high school sweetheart. All it took was one of those things no longer being true for me to totally nosedive. But sure, you threw yourself at me.”
This was. It was a lot. 
“Steve–”
Steve waves a hand, stops him. “‘No one’s ever been in love with you. Not really.’ That’s what you said, dude. Meanwhile, shit, cards on the table here? Every relationship I’ve had in the last five years has been a pointless attempt to get over you. So yeah, it was weird to hear, Eddie.” 
Steve won’t look him in the eye. His neck is craned towards the ceiling.
Eddie whistles through his teeth, “Maybe, uh… maybe give me a bit more time?”
“Oh.” Steve finally glances up. His poker face is all gone. He looks like a kicked puppy. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”
“I’ll probably just need a week or two? I mean, fuck man, that’s a whole other, like Phylum of pornography I’ve been missing out on for the last 25 years. I gotta get myself acquainted before I can, you know–” He reaches out, rubs at Steve’s bicep with a wink, “Get myself Acquainted.”
Steve’s whole body is shaking. Eddie can feel the relief flitting out of him. “Jesus Christ, Munson.”
“Then I’ll take you out, Harrington! Show you the town.”
“Dude, will your dick even work at that point?”
“On the first date?” Eddie gasps, “Lord Harrington, how improper!”
Steve just shrugs, “Rules are different for guys.”
“What? Wait seven years and then hope you land a sexuality crisis?” Then Eddie’s leaning in, closing the space between them. Trying to ignore the pounding in his chest, thinks maybe he's never been so terrified. 
Steve smiles into the kiss. “Yeah, Munson. It's something like that.” 
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gardenofnoah · 2 months ago
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You know Katsuki, and you know, somewhere deep in your gut, when something is wrong.
He makes it easier than that, though, with all of his door slamming and grumbling.
“So are you planning to tell me what’s going on, or should I start looking for replacement hinges?”
He pauses, halfway to victimizing the microwave door. He sighs. Without turning to you, he holds an arm out to you. It makes you smile.
You make quick work of the distance and fit yourself in the gap between him and the counter top. Arms reaching around his middle, you squeeze until you feel the harsh (and exaggerated) exhale brush the top of your head—until some of the tension is forced to leave him.
“Rough day?”
He scoffs, dipping down to rest his forehead on the crown of yours. You’ve learned this language by now—you let him lean on you, because he needs to.
“Fuckin’ Denki—“ he grunts, and you know it must be something serious, for Katsuki to use his given name instead of the usual insult. You stay quiet to give him the space to get it out.
“Always so fuckin’ nosey—“
You can feel the frustration build in the muscles that wrap around his spine. With every breath, he works himself up further. It’s rare, even with his hotheaded nature, that you see him like this.
“Always asking about you. Always taking about how I should fuckin’ —just be a man and fuckin'—”
He won’t—can’t, most likely—tell you the direct quote, but you gleam the gist of it from the way Katsuki so clearly struggles to articulate it.
“Hey,” you say quietly, squeezing once more around his ribs. “It’s alright.”
And you know that to him, it’s not. To disrespect you—however in jest—is one thing, but you know that’s not what’s red hot and prodding against Katsuki’s sorest spot right now.
"Since when do you care about what Denki says?"
“I don't care what that shit-for-brains says,” he grunts into your hair. "Just—think you deserve more."
You shake your head. “He’s an idiot,” you say, tilting up, searching for his eyes. “You give me more than I could ever ask for."
He scoffs, all forced bravado, but the tension doesn’t leave him. This is the hard part for Katsuki—to separate who he is and what he’s able to give with what he feels is expected of him.
You hope that he knows you love him. There’s no anyway, or in spite of, you just do. You know that in his mind Katsuki pictures himself storming in after a long day, tearing your clothes off and ravaging you until the early hours of the morning—but to consider it as anything closer than a distant fantasy makes both of you cringe. To stand here in the warm light of your kitchen with your ear to his heartbeat is more intimate than anything you’ve ever experienced.
“You know what I’d really like?”
He hums, a non answer that tells you he’s listening.
“I want to put on big sweats and eat at least two soft pretzels and watch trash TV.”
You feel him grin against the crown of your head and you know he’s coming back to you.
What you need—it’s only this. Only him.
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worldlxvlys · 7 months ago
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control
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dealer! chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: smutttt, overstimulation, edging, orgasm denial, p in v, cream pie, cursing, oral (male + fem receiving), 69, drug use
summary: the effects of the weed that you and chris were smoking made you horny enough, but add his recent insta pictures into the mix ? any sense of self-control you had left your body and suddenly, all you could focus on was making him a trembling, whiny mess under you.
a/n: idea credits to my love @hearts4chriss <33
everything was hazy.
my red eyes drooped ever so lightly, eventually fluttering closed as i took a hit from the joint that chris and i were sharing.
the smoke floated around in the air while we spoke about whatever came to our minds, giving each other our full attention.
well, i was paying attention, just not to his words. i wanted to listen to what he had to say, but i couldn’t help but find myself fixating on everything else.
the way his tongue darted out every now and then, wetting his dried lips.
his cheeks, which were lightly dusted with a rosey tint to match the color of his lips.
his hair, strands messily sticking out in every direction, only adding to how good he looked.
the veins in his hand protruded from his skin as he dug into the ice cream he brought over for us, causing me to clear my throat as i attempted to regain my composure.
i watched as he shoveled the sweet dessert into his mouth, just before the half-melted treat could spill anywhere.
“and i was gonna ask you which pictures you think i should post today, but i ended up picking-”
"wait, you posted?” i asked, grabbing my phone from its place beside me on the bed.
my eyes widened slightly when i saw the pictures, he looked so good.
he always looked good, but these pictures in particular turned me on a little more than they should have.
“you’re joking, right ?” i asked, the words flying out of my mouth before i could stop them.
“what?” he asked confused.
the weed seemed to have taken any self-control that remained in my body, as i immediately straddled chris’s lap.
“you didn’t think you were gonna be able to post those pictures without getting your brains fucked out, did you?”
he stared up at me, mouth hanging open while his hands held onto my waist.
“i mean, i don’t-” his mouth opened and closed like a fish, while a jumbled mess of words fell from his mouth.
i hooked my fingers onto the waistband of his shorts, effectively shutting him up as he squirmed in anticipation.
i moved from my place on top of him, situating myself on my knees between his legs.
i pulled the fabric down slightly to reveal his happy trail, immediately adorning the newly exposed skin with kisses.
he let out a low whine at the feeling, hips bucking up into my face.
i quickly pushed his hips down, holding him steady as i ran my tongue along his skin.
“fuck” he sighed out, eyes falling shut as he swallowed harshly.
i could tell that the weed was affecting him, his sensitivity to my touch growing with every movement.
“lift” i told him as he followed my instructions, raising his hips while i pulled his shorts down.
i brought my hand to his clothed dick, which pressed against his boxers angrily.
i pressed a kiss to his crotch, eliciting a low whine from him.
“what do you want, chris?” i asked as i began to palm him.
“need your mouth” he moaned out.
“lay back, take off your boxers” i told him, watching as he eagerly did what i said.
when he was laid fully naked on the bed, i stripped for him.
i joined him on the bed, sitting behind him with my chest pressed to his back.
i wrapped my arms around his waist, my hand finding its way to his dick.
"i- fuck- i said my mouth” he groaned out as i collected the pre-cum that leaked out of his tip in my hand.
“you’ll get my mouth” i spoke as i squeezed his base, his hips jerking up in response, “when i feel like it”
he remained silent after that, only moans and whines leaving his mouth as i continued to move my hand up and down his length.
“does it feel good, chris?” i asked, whispering into his ear while i nibbled the lobe.
“fuck, yes. please don’t stop” he groaned, thrusting his hips up into my hand.
“tell me when you’re close, baby” i spoke before beginning to take the skin of his neck between my lips, sucking harshly.
i littered his neck with dark bruises while he continued to fuck himself against my hand.
“so eager, my love. but if you want to cum, you’ll have to slow down” i told him.
“n-no, please ! i need to cum so bad” he spoke, his pace remaining the same.
“chris. slow down” i spoke again, causing the pace of his hips to slow against my hand.
“there you go, is it so hard to listen?” i asked as he let out a groan.
“fuck” he whispered out as his veiny cock moved against my hand slowly.
“i’m close” he spoke, his breathing picking up.
before he was able to let go, however, i moved my hand away.
“shit” he whined as his cock twitched, but he was left unsatisfied.
“you don’t get to finish that easily, baby. you gotta work for it” i spoke, chuckling as he went to move his hand towards his dick.
i quickly grabbed his hand before he got the chance to touch himself, “keep your hands behind your back. i swear to god, if you move them i’ll tie your ass up” i spoke into his ear.
he did as i said, but never acknowledged that he heard me. i turned his face to look at me, tilting my head at him, “you got that?”
“yes” he whispered as he stared at my lips.
i wrapped my hand around his neck, bringing his face up to mine to pull him into a heated kiss.
he moaned into my lips, while our lips molded together.
“you ok?” i asked him, noticing the dazed look on his face.
“you’re such a freak” he smirked up to me.
“and you’re such a submissive bitch” i answered, letting go of his face and moving my hand back down to his length.
i circled my thumb around his tip, pushing it against the slit, making his hips jolt up into my hand.
“such a tease” he mumbled under his breath.
in one swift motion, i moved to his side and pulled his shoulders back to lay down.
i moved so that each of my legs were on either side of his body.
“you obviously need some help in shutting the hell up” i spoke before moving to sit on his face.
chris immediately hooked his hands around my thighs, working my pussy with his tongue.
i leaned forward, taking his dick into my hand and swirling my tongue around his tip.
he groaned into me, the vibrations intensifying my pleasure.
i moaned against him in response, making his noises increase in volume.
i took as much of him as i could, using my hand to stroke the parts of his member that my mouth couldn’t reach.
he pulled my lower body harder against his mouth, his tongue focusing on my clit while his nose nudged against my needy hole.
i focused on his tip, teasing it as much as i could with my tongue, causing him to push his hips up in need.
i could tell he was getting close, so i removed my mouth from him with an audible pop.
he let out a whine of disappointment, his hands loosening around my thighs.
“you wanna cum so bad? fine.” i spoke as i moved down his body, making my way between his legs.
he sat upright, watching wordlessly as i turned around to face him.
he stared up at me with his mouth hung open while i aligned him with my entrance, sinking down onto him.
his hands automatically flew up to my waist when he bottomed out, stopping me from moving.
“god, i could cum right now if you start moving” deciding to test his limits, i spoke “good” before beginning to move anyway.
“fuck- oh my god” he groaned out as he began to shake underneath me.
i knew his frustrations from his previously ruined orgasm were building up, but i didn’t think it’d actually make him finish so quickly.
“i can’t- holy shit” he shuddered as he shot his load into me.
i gave him a minute to regain his breath, his grip on my hips tightening slightly.
“i still- i wanna make you feel good. please let me fuck you” he begged.
“yeah? give it to me, baby” he lifted me up slightly before beginning to thrust his hips up into mine.
the feeling of his hot cum being fucked into me sent me into a frenzy, only making me wetter.
i could tell he was struggling, overworking his already spent muscles to make sure i felt good.
“you’re so good to me, chris. let me take care of you” i whispered down to him.
his thrusts came to a hault, allowing me to take over as i rocked my hips into his.
“fuck, yes. oh my god” he shakily moaned as his head fell onto my shoulder.
i brought my hand to his hair, raking my fingers through it slowly while i rolled my hips on top of him sensually.
“look so pretty like this, oh” his face scrunched up as he began to whimper under me, making me clench around him at the sound.
“fuck- i’m so sensitive” he spoke.
“i know, baby. can’t help it, love hearing those sounds you make” i breathed out.
“still feeling ok?" i asked.
he nodded his head at that, “yes, so close. can i cum?” he asked as his hands slid to my ass, groping and massaging the skin.
“wait for me, i’m almost there. can you hold it w little longer?” i asked, reaching between us to rub my clit.
“t-too much” he whined, his face scrunching up while a few tears fell down his face.
“take it, chris” i told him, wiping his tears away while he twitched inside of me.
his legs began to shake involuntarily, increasing the friction between us.
“fuck” his voice broke as he moaned out, eyes rolling back as he bit his lip.
“go ahead, chris. let go” i told him, his hips stuttering as his head flew back and he filled me up with his cum.
it wasn’t long before i finished on top of him, my release dripping out of me and onto his dick.
we took a minute to catch our breath, staying in the same position for a while.
“here, let’s get you cleaned up” i spoke, moving to get up when he stopped me.
“wait, can we just stay like this for a while?” he asked, his arms wrapping tighter around me.
“of course” i told him, wrapping my arms around his neck to hug his body close to mine.
“you ok?” i asked as i rubbed soothing circles into his back.
“when i’m with you? always” he spoke, placing a kiss to my shoulder.
🍑🍑🍑🍑
dwb! chris masterlist
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undreaming-fanfiction · 7 months ago
Text
My brain refuses to sleep, so more drabbling! Probably modern-ish AU?
Steve makes a career for himself as a re-decorator (or de-decorator, as he loves to call himself). His clientele are those celebrities who rose to fame so quickly they have plenty of money, but they don't have time to make their houses feel like home. They just bought penthouses and mansions and now live in homes that are fancy, but they feel like hotels.
Steve is there to fix that.
One of his clients is the hard working rockstar Eddie Munson whose life path went from a trailer park to couch surfing to living with 4 people in a tiny apartment, then suddenly tours, hotels and boom! He has a house that looks like an IKEA prop.
He doesn't hide his distaste at the pristine condition of the place (yes, Eddie has a cleaner). "Oh god. A beige carpet?" he scoffs and he sounds so bitchy Eddie decides he likes him already.
He likes him even more when Steve puts on reading glasses. Damn.
Over coffee, they discuss what Eddie wants. Except Steve doesn't just...tell him. He doesn't give him any hints. He just keeps asking about Eddie's favorite colors, what movies he likes, does he have hobbies apart from music? Can Steve see some of the items that bring him comfort?
And Eddie's surprised. "Shouldn't you, like...be telling me what I'm supposed to want?" he asks the gorgeous man who almost wails when he sees the vase with fresh flowers ("This is the third place in a row that has this fugly thing! Is it like a status symbol? Uh, tasteless.").
And Steve just stares at him. "Uh, Mr. Munson?"
"Eddie."
Steve nods. "Eddie. Why should I have any say in what you want? If you ask me what's practical, easy to clean, what bounces off light well, that's another thing. But in matters of taste...you're the boss. You live here, I don't. (Pity, Eddie thinks) Now, let's change this place into somewhere you actually like staying, hm?"
They spend the whole afternoon talking. Eddie opens up about what he loved before the touring and expectations from his agent took that from him. He talks about the Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, fantasy in general, and Steve listens, makes tons of notes and asks questions that make Eddie's heart bleed, such as "and who is your favorite Lord of the Rings character?" and "you mentioned elves, dwarves, orcs, wizards...so what is your favorite group?" and "which DnD class would you be then? I guess a bard? Is that too obvious?". Now, Steve doesn't know much about these things, but learns quickly and works with the info he has.
They walk through the house again, with Steve making notes and wincing at transgressions against humanity or at least against his taste in things ("Oh ew. EW. Glossy finish on a kitchen counter? What is this, a future crime scene?") and Eddie feeling equally amused and curious. Eddie orders dinner for them, it goes something like:
"I don't know what would be appropriate, any preferences?"
"Eddie, there's no time or space when pizza is not appropriate."
"What about a funeral?"
"It puts fun in a funeral."
"Touché."
They follow up on a bunch more things. Steve notices Eddie fidgeting and asks him like the mindreader he is if perhaps the place is too clean for him. "Minimalism is what everyone's trying to push," Steve says, not without sympathy, "but it's not for everyone. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you seem like a person who'd love a more....personal, cluttered space."
And god, Eddie feels so seen. He tells Steve about all his favorite books and trinkets that he lost during a horrible earthquake in Indiana, so when he moved to the city it was just some clothes and his two guitars. Steve makes so many notes. "I've seen quite a lot of collectibles for your beloved trilogy," he says with a hint of a smile. "Is that something you'd like in your home?" Eddie can't nod any faster.
They talk about the budget (Eddie just scoffs at that, for the first time in his life money is not an issue), Eddie's absolute no go things ("No more vases, please! PLEASE. Also maybe the one room that can stay as it is is the studio, there's no decor"), if he has issues touching any materials, if he wants to keep any areas in the house neutral for visitors (he doesn't). Then finally, he asks Eddie if he wants to be more consulted or surprised.
And Eddie, tired and surprisingly relaxed from talking to Steve, just grins and says: "Surprise me, big boy."
Steve just smirks and makes one more note. "Oh, I will, Eddie."
...
Eddie goes on yet another tour for a couple of months, which is the ideal time for Steve to start working on the house.
Steve sometimes texts Eddie random choices, such as "Rohan or Gondor or both?" or "what's the best pub in the Middle Earth?" and Eddie usually trips over his feet trying to get to his phone after concerts to see if maybe he has another message from Steve. He learns bits and pieces about the man as well - he has a younger brother, Dustin, who is into the same stuff that Eddie is. Sometimes it goes like this:
STEVE: What's the best battle in the LotR movies?
EDDIE: The Ride of the Rohirrim, duh!
STEVE: Dustin says you're wrong, it's the last stand at the gates of Mordor.
EDDIE: The disrespect to king Théoden!
And finally, the big day comes. Eddie meets with Steve at the door. From the outside, the house still looks boring, but that's what they agreed on. At least for now.
But there's one notable difference and Eddie gasps when he sees it.
"I know we said no changes on the outside," said Steve sheepishly, "but I took the liberty to make one slight change."
Where the door used to be bland and white, it is now carved with silver etchings. It replicates the Doors of Durin. Eddie loves it.
Steve smiles at him. "Speak friend and enter, right? Dustin told me. Anyways, are you ready?"
Turns out, Eddie wasn't ready. Steve took all of the shiny and sterile surfaces and turned them into something beautiful.
The kitchen is now in warmer colors, brown and green, imitating the Green Dragon inn, plaque included.
Guest rooms have been changed, each to represent a group or a nation of the Middle Earth. Eddie thinks his uncle will love the Rohirrim one.
No more vases are to be seen, but Steve got potted plants ("almost immortal, as long as your housekeeper waters them once a week or so").
Eddie howls in laughter when he sees that Steve somehow managed to disguise all his security cameras as tiny eyes of Sauron.
The bathroom is inspired by the Rivendell, with soft tones and nods to Elvish architecture.
Eddie's bedroom resembles the Shire, with round shapes and homely motifs.
But Eddie's absolute favorite is the living room.
The only things that remain there that he bought are the massive TV and his stereo system with records. The rest though...
Gone is the ugly and sharp couch that looked like a geometry exercise. The new one is large and comfortable, with a couple of armchairs to finish the cozy feel. The coffee table and TV stand are more rough looking, with decorative ironwork. And then, around the room and on the walls...
"Oh wow," whispers Eddie and Steve beams at him.
There are collectibles and figurines that young Eddie Munson would have killed for. A replica of the Narsil hangs over the TV. It's cluttered but tasteful, still easy to clean, but Eddie always has something to touch, to play with.
And then he spots the bookcase and actually sobs. "What the fuck, Steve?" he asks, but there's no anger, just awe. "How did you know?"
The bookcase is full of Eddie's most beloved books, all that he told Steve about and more, but it's not just that. These aren't just pristine new prints - Steve managed to get both those and well-loved used copies. Most of them are the same editions that Eddie had before the earthquake. He runs his trembling finger over the back of the Hobbit and it feels like home.
"That was the hardest part," says Steve and leaves Eddie to rummage through the books, the old DnD guides and used comic books. "But I assumed you're sick of new and shiny. In fact, most of the collectibles are already used as well. They have some history. As for the books, uh..." He scratches his neck, embarrassed. "I will be honest, I don't read much. Dyslexia and some issues with the eyes, although audio books are making it more possible for me now. So I had to ask Dustin for help. We looked for editions published before the earthquake. I hope we got some of them right?"
Eddie just mutters "Sorry, I'm about to do something really unprofessional now" and pulls Steve into a bear hug. And Steve reciprocates.
"Fuck, this...this is everything," says Eddie into his shoulder. "How did you do this? Are you magic. You must be magic."
Steve grins. "I take it the surprise was a success then?"
Eddie finally pulls back. He would have loved to keep embracing Steve for a bit longer, but boundaries. "A total one. Wow. I mean. It's a lot, but so good. SO GOOD. How can I repay you?"
"You already paid me, Eddie."
"You know what I mean!" Eddie points and the books and apparently also a DVD collection he now owns. "This must have been so much more work than you normally do, no? I doubt every client has you memorize the members of the Fellowship."
"Not just that, but also why Sam is the best," Steve smiles at him and fuck. Eddie might be in love. "It was more than usual, but I loved it, Eddie. That's why I like my job so much, helping people find themselves again. You don't owe me anything. Although, if you're offering..."
"I'm listening."
Steve runs his fingers through that majestic hair. "So, I didn't tell Dustin that I was decorating the house for you, but he's a huge fan of your music. Like, massive, has every album, has been following your career from the start. And feel free to tell me it's too much, you are my client after all, but...he'd love to meet you. Over a pizza, maybe? The plain ham and cheese one you like so it doesn't have too many flavors?"
And Eddie melts. Because Steve still remembers his pizza choice from months ago, even though this definitely wasn't in his notes. He decides there and then that Steven Harrington is a national treasure.
"Sure, big boy," he smiles at Steve, and hopes he didn't imagine Steve leaning into the touch. "How about you invite him over for a movie night or something? With pizza of course."
It looks like Steve could kiss him, but he doesn't. Not yet. That only happens a week later, when they bump into each other in Eddie's kitchen when they scramble to make more popcorn for Dustin.
Steve stays the next night. And maybe a few after that. Always in a different themed bedroom.
They travel for work a lot, but when they are both in Chicago, they always meet in the Green Dragon kitchen, cuddle in the bed that would be far too large for a hobbit, and in the night, Eddie wraps himself around Steve and whispers: "My preciousssss."
And Steve can't really complain, because it's his fault that his boyfriend has re-discovered his dorkiness, so why would he mind?
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