#i feel like i made a decent job at writing this but im kinda drunk so who knows

[sky-kenobye]

Libraries are so cool. I want so bad to read the book 'Dressing a Galaxy' (it's about the prequels' costumes) but the cheapest I could find it was like 400€ (and going up to 800€) on ebay, so I complained about it to my sister and she was like "oh you should check this super specific library in Paris" and I was skeptical but I checked anyway and she had the wrong library but there is a very specialised library in Paris that has it. So I'm absolutely going to go there the next time I'm in Paris and reading the shit out of it (and sneaking a few pictures too probably).

(It's very annoying that everything cool or useful in France is always in Paris and never anywhere else but whatever. At least I'm lucky enough to have family there so i can easily go)

(Also i learned that every book (and video game I think) that has ever been published in france has a copy of it in the BNF (=Bibliothèque Nationale de France=National Library of France), how cool is that?)(also this library is supposed to be shaped like four open books which is also pretty cool but looks kinda ugly tbh)

[pinkjeanist]

Hi!! How are you? Could I please request Dabi x reader fic in which the reader becomes shy and kinda awkward around Dabi, because she realizes that she’s in love with him?? I need way more fluff in my life sorry lol Have a nice day/night !!! 💕

marigolds || dabi

a/n: im doing really well, thank you!!! im starting to realize that i write most of my League stuff still in their first era, where their base is still at the bar, but i just really like that aesthetic better, idk. i also realize that this reads a little like my last set of dabi hcs but i still got butterflies just by writing about him aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! happy valentine’s day, i hope you like it!!!!!! {valentine event} [masterlist and requests]

desc.: You thought you had Dabi figured out down to his shoe size, but when you admit your feelings to him, he still finds a way to surprise you.

w/c: 1,102

All your life, you’d imagined that, when you finally fell in love- truly, wholeheartedly, utterly in love- you would fall headfirst; the realization would hit you like a truck, or it would grab you by the collar and scream it in your face, or you would just suddenly feel the urge to vomit up butterflies. But this- your very first love- came so slowly that you couldn’t tell where your casual feelings ended and one day had shifted into something deep. 

Dabi was like bread. Baked bread, if you would. On the outside, he was all tough and sometimes so difficult to break through that you could beat it against the table like a rock. But inside, he was soft, and warm, and…no, that was a terrible comparison.

Dabi was like the sun. If you got too close, you would burn yourself, and it was hard even bringing yourself to look at him, now. But he was warm, nonetheless, and breathed life into you every time your shoulders brushed, or the times you could smell his cologne, or the days you would spend talking as you had nothing else to do. But you could only ever admire from afar, you realized, because he was burning too much to let anyone close.

But besides being like the sun, or bread, or however one could describe a man like Dabi, you somehow came to love him, of all people on that cursed Earth. It really didn’t help, though, that you came to the realization of your inner feelings just as you were sitting next to him at the bar.

Dabi had laughed, and genuinely too, and your first thought upon seeing his smile was “I love you,” and your heart felt all light and invincible until you processed what your brain had just told you. So now, you were blushing and hiding yourself in your drink while you made up a list of excuses to leave before he noticed. But he did notice, and he leaned against the bar as he said, “What’s up with you? You’re red as hell.”

“Um.” Your hand tightened around your glass as you blinked up at him. “I’m gonna…go to bed.”

He checks his phone. “It’s six in the afternoon.”

“And I’m exhausted from…stuff today, so I’m just gonna-” You slid off the barstool and tried not to combust when your knee brushed against his leg.

You could feel his eyes on the back of your neck as you sped away back to your room. You then proceeded to throw yourself on the bed, and somehow, you managed to worry so much about your newfound revelation that you actually did end up falling asleep.

It only got worse from there. Every time you would see him, you’d feel the air leave your lungs, but you had to wonder if that had been a thing that had always happened and you were only now aware of it. You’d quiver and shut down when he got too close. You’d be torn between crying and singing to the angels when he took time out of his day to talk to you. But every time, without fail, you’d just go red, and every time, he would notice.

You didn’t know if Dabi had caught on to your feelings, but if he had, he was dragging the whole situation out much longer than he needed to. You weren’t really putting yourself out there, but if he hadn’t so much as put some thought into your often-occuring blushing, then he was a lot more dense than he’d led you to believe. But despite everything, you prepared for the worst when the day came that you would finally tell him, when your emotions finally became too much to keep inside of you. If he rejected you, there was always the option of leaving the League and working at Micky D’s, so you weren’t too concerned.

It was late at night, and everyone else had gone to bed with Kurogiri being the last to go, leaving you alone with Dabi at the bar. He downed his drink before he turned to you. “You look like you have something to say.”

“Oh. Um…I do.” You set your glass down when your hand began to shake. Without looking up from the counter, you said, “I…I like you. A lot.”

“I know.”

You turned to him with a bewildered glance. Yes, you’d assumed Dabi already knew how you felt about him, but that didn’t make it any less shocking to be right.

“Um…so…why didn’t you say anything earlier?” 

“Well, if I couldn’t even admit that you were into me, how could I believe you’d be ready for a relationship?” He turned his whole body toward you and leaned in closer. “I can tell you’ve never done this sort of thing before.”

“Yeah.”

“And you decided to fall for a villain for your first. Of all people.”

“Uh…yeah.”

He looked at you, but not really, because it felt like he was peering into your soul for answers. But eventually, he turned back towards the bar and grabbed the bottle you were sharing. He chose to drink straight from it instead of pouring some out. 

“I’m too drunk for this conversation. Hit me up when I’m sober.” 

You blinked. “So…that’s it?”

“That’s what?” He blinked back at you, the bottle nearly to his lips.

“You’re not gonna say anything else?”

He drank. “Well, you like me, even though you probably shouldn’t, and I’m more than a little into you, so I think that should be it.” He slid down off the stool, taking his bottle with him.

“You didn’t mention that last part-” He placed a soft kiss to your cheek, and you immediately felt your face flare up as he set off towards his room. “-wait! Why are you leaving?”

He turned to face you from the doorway, not sure if the lazy grin he sported was induced by the alcohol or if it was just Dabi being Dabi. “I think we’re both a little too tipsy for this, so we can do some talking in the morning. Have a good night, sweetheart.”

And then you were alone, craving more but knowing not to go after him, and being thankful that Dabi was a decent enough person to know when the time was right to take you up on your pursual of him. You went to bed happy, and a little more than tipsy, and you made sure to throw away that job application for Micky D’s before you passed out.

[sunreys]

Tagged again by @xinyliyu :)) thought doing these would be a little bit more productive than bingeing The Dragon Prince lmao Are you named after anyone? Nope! My parents just thought my name was pretty. 2. When was the last time you cried? There was this Every 15 Minute thing at my school last week (Its a simulated drunk driving crash thing to raise awareness about driving drunk, if u havent heard of it). Twas very sad. I cried a lot. 3. Do you have kids? Nah fam. Definitely not old enough for that akskdkks 4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yeah, all the time. Mostly in my head, tho. 5. What's the first thing you notice about people? Hmm...thats a tough one. Probably their features?? Like, if someone has something that’s similar to how I envision some of my characters, that’ll catch my attention. I also kinda pay attention to how people react around other people. 6. What's your eye color? It’s like,,.green??But not like “emerald green” like you'd read about in fanfic. More like...kinda dull olive green. They ain't special. 7. Scary movie or happy ending? Happy ending. Scary movies are...well, scary alskdks. 8. Any special talents? Uhh I can sing decently, i can do art, im okay at writing. I dunno, i've got pretty low self-esteem so i don't usually feel like im actually good at stuff lmao 9. Where were you born? I...have literally no idea. I know it was a hospital...somewhere. 10. What are your hobbies? I like doing art stuff, like drawing, read, and binge-watching way too many shows at once 11. Have you any pets? Nope, but I wish. I'll get a dog, someday. So far the biggest pet I've had is a goldfish. 12. What sports do you play/have you played? Uhh...i played baseball and soccer when I was a smol child. I played basketball once, but made literally zero baskets. Currently, the only “sport” I do is dance, but that's technically a performing art, I guess. 13. How tall are you? Uhh...i don't know. Last time i checked, i was 5’6”, or 5’7” 14. Favorite subject in school? Choir, for sure. Second place would probably be history, cause I enjoy it. 15. Dream job? An author, or an actress would be the dream. Ideally, I'd like to just live alone in a forest in a cottage with a garden, my girlfriend, and our many dogs. I guess I'll tag @midtownhiqh again, if u want to do this lmao

[noxrynne]

i dont really have the highest hopes for making the goal i had for school odds are i fail a class, do poorly in another or two, and maybe get by decently in one of them i really regret doing online courses since it always goes back to “oh i missed that because it wasn’t posted,” “oh the professors don’t use the news alert system when new stuff is added with a concise explanation of what I need to do in that post blurb that’s 3500 words of bs,” “oh i didnt realize this awkward and uncomfortable ‘post your personal assignments here that are about yourself so a bunch of strangers can also read and criticize it’ was required,” “the syllabus is written out of order, it’s messy and has a bunch of color code usage that’s never explained and makes reading it harder and, oh, they want me to print it out too bad i dont have a fucking printer and looking at it makes me want to throw up since it’s literally just everything put up on a page and i just start panicking because its so much stuff and it immediately overwhelms me” i also fuckin hate the professors who’ll say like “if you’re here just to get a degree you’re in the wrong place” b/c it’s like college costs a lot of fuckin money and you can bet your ass the only reason im here is to get a degree so i can eventually have a job that lets me be financially stable. trying to say “oh it’s just for funtime education” is bullshit when it costs what it does and isn’t even accessible to everyone from the get-go. i could learn the exact same shit for free from a fucking library and the internet, and talk to people i know if i have questions about material. but that doesn’t give me the piece of paper i need. idk i wish there was more of a “oh i can go do this and be fine financially” rather than needing to spend years in a university because i really hate it. i *wish* i hadn’t fucked up before and been as suicidal and couldve got through it *before* its used as a “yea we can’t have you here cuz you dropped out in the past” *even when* it’s an associated school with the one i *did* drop out of and they told me they *would* re-accept me when i was healthier. no im not a great student. i get overwhelmed really easily, i stress out over everything too much, i break down if i miss one assignment. i dont do well on the shit i actually try really hard at. i dont participate in class because it’s a terrifying experience to be called a fucking “idiot” again by a professor (ty philosopher dickhead at uwgb im gonna fucking punch you if i ever see you) i *forget* about assignments a *lot* and *yes* that’s a *my* problem thing but it’s something so extremely difficult to work around without having someone telling me about it, or just having a visible schedule written down about what’s due on a front page that always pops up. which i mean yeah it’s extra work i guess for the professor to just copy paste some info that’d really help me out, and no i dont have this issue as much in a traditional school b/c i actually *go* to the classes to sit in and be reminded through that. and yea im probly gonna fail out unless the other university sighs and says “well she did try and it was online” and ngl i probably would be *fine* in a regular classroom oriented thing *now* it’s more organized and there’s a schedule i can keep to and get into and when i get *into* a schedule i stick to it 100% b/c i derive a sense of security, existence and safety from having schedules. but if i fail out and they dont sigh and say “okay” then im kinda fucked. i mean, i could probably attempt to get through another year there and maybe go to the actual school instead of the online bullshit and *maybe* then i’d actually meet the reqs. but idk if that offer is gonna stand after this year. and idk im just back to feeling really fucking hopeless and empty. i mean ive been feeling this way all this month. i feel like nothings fucking worth it because i feel like i just cant do it. and that ultimately im gonna end up fucked. and i *know* im 90% of the problem. i *know* my thinking of “what’s the point” is screwing me over. i *know* accidentally falling asleep an staying asleep for a whole day is a fucking issue. i *know* i shouldnt forget important shit i need to do. i *know* i should participate no matter how fucking uncomfortable and frightened it makes me. but it feels fucking *impossible* to work with 0 energy. it feels terrifying to be asked “write an introspective piece about yourself and reflect on the events of your life that made you who you are today” BECAUSE i dont talk about THAT STUFF to people I DONT KNOW i *BARELY* covered those topics in *therapy* because of how uncomfortable they make me. and I DONT need a bunch of strangers in a class knowing the shit that happened to me. and fuck i feel like the entire idea behind the writing assignment was “oh this’ll be fun haha” but it’s like... remembering *most of the shit hat directly impacted how i am today* is one of the most fucking difficult things for me to do, especially publicly. i *regret* online schooling. i didnt realize how much i dont work with it until i thought about it this year. i get overwhelmed. i get stressed. i get depressed. i get suicidal. i get hopeless. i feel useless. i didnt realize i *need* to actually *go* to a class because it helps with the isolation i put myself in. because i straight up actually understand shit when someone is actually explaining it to me and not just handing me a textbook and saying “read it that’s it that’s the entire class, but oh, write an informed paper structured off what you read and if you dont understand the material well go fuck yourself i guess.” and in actually *going* there to a physical room it becomes easier to do things like homework and assignments *because i can walk over to the library*. what *really* shit on my previous school ability was like i was overwhelmed (we *just* moved to a *completely* different state and environment, i *just* had a series of panic attacks in italy b/c i thought i could handle it on my own) and the first school didn’t have a/c and it was fucking 101 outside every day and i dont do well in heat, and by that, i mean i hyperventilate, i get dizzy, i get lightheaded, i get emotional and frightened and stressed and cant sleep. the professor who asked if we read the chapter (I DID) and then pointed at me to explain what i read (I DIDNT FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT), and when i finished he just laughed and told me to sit down and pretty much called me an idiot in front of everyone and i started crying. (i also got a 0 so i failed the reading since he didnt believe i read it). at *that* school there were no therapy or counseling or offers like that. the art building made me cry and feel unsafe (i couldnt control it), having to walk *all* the way back to my dorm building at 12AM b/c that’s when my one class ended was *terrifying* then in a different school it was just i had a class that made me physically uncomfortable to be in. i *hated* being in the freshman course for feminism so much. not b/c i hate the material, but i felt so “other” and uncomfortable b/c im a trans woman being asked about my male perspective on shit and i just. i remember leaving because i just felt upset and depressed and i couldn’t get over the really bad dysphoria i kept having in that class (the professor there was the reason i went to counseling on campus, she’s the one who referred me to it in the first place). on top of that, the dorm i was told id be getting was a fucking lie. i was supposed to have one or 0 roommates. i got 5 roommates. beds didn’t fit me b/c of my height (i slept with the back of my feet on an iron bar). the food was straight fucking garbage. one of my roommates just randomly touched me all the time. hugged me, put arms around my neck, *kissed my cheek*. another was always drunk and loud. another talked about making bombs incessantly. one of them seemed actually concerned about me and he came in once or twice when i was face down on my bed just not moving b/c of therapy sessions and talked to me once or twice to make sure i was still alive. friday mornings in winter id be up at 5AM, trying to get ready without waking any of the 5 other people, then walk outside with no access to breakfast/coffee/anything (b/c too early) to get to a class across and off the campus i had to walk to (and when snow was present my feet were numb b/c of all the water that got into my shoes). and then there was the legit getting 4 hours of sleep if that a week. eating basically nothing. extremely suicidal and getting to the point where i was having days where i legitimately could not discern what was real and wasn’t. and then i left ‘cuz my other option was to be hospitalized. from there its just been attempts at online schools. which i already tiraded about above. i mean fuck id be happy if i *could* just go work in retail and make a decent wage and not have to work every waking hour of my life to make it work. like. i *wish* i was lucky enough to be one of those “i had no degree but x really liked my resume” stories i always read about. i *wish* writing and publishing a book was considered and *was* a viable career option without needing to get really fucking lucky. im passionate about writing fiction, but in order to do that professionally, i need a 4 year degree from an institution. i can technically publish something, but if no one ever hears about it or cares, then it doesn’t become a job to have and it does little else. and then there’s also just a lot of irl shit i keep worrying about and dwelling on and nearly making some really fucked up or stupid decisions in the interim. and idk i just i wish i was one of those ppl who felt like they had a future and aren’t likely to die before age 25. or one of those people who just *does* something and it works out and they get to exist.

[stalkhome-sindrone]

All 200 of the asks

200: My crush’s name is: [get fucked]199: I was born in: a hospital in Canada somewhere198: I am really: messed up197: My cellphone company is: Rogers196: My eye color is: Mud brown195: My shoe size is: 10 1/2194: My ring size is: Excuse me?193: My height is: 6 ft192: I am allergic to: my own satisfaction191: My 1st car was: probably crashed in a past life 190: My 1st job was: probably ruined in a past life189: Last book you read: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Heaven by Corey Taylor188: My bed is: really nice at this time of day187: My pet: is not here yet, ask me in a few years186: My best friend: is a bit of a cunt, but aren't we all?185: My favorite shampoo is: no real preference184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox183: Piggy banks are: for losers, get an old fashioned jar182: In my pockets: nothing181: On my calendar: also nothing180: Marriage is: a waste of time and resources179: Spongebob can: see question 200178: My mom: does her best177: The last three songs I bought were? what are the last 3 songs on Hybrid Theory?176: Last YouTube video watched: video about how Louis CK writes jokes175: How many cousins do you have? too many to count here174: Do you have any siblings? 2 stepsisters and 1 brother173: Are your parents divorced? Nope172: Are you taller than your mom? Yup171: Do you play an instrument? Multiple170: What did you do yesterday? Probably what I did today but slightly happier

[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: HA HA HA see question 200168: Luck: Yup167: Fate: To an extent, yes166: Yourself: On good days...who am I kidding, in vey few areas165: Aliens: Why not?164: Heaven: Nopenopenope163: Hell: If this isn't it, nopenopenope162: God: see question 200, also I'm agnostic161: Horoscopes: to an extent, fun reads though160: Soul mates: Jury is out on this one159: Ghosts: Sorta158: Gay Marriage: Hell yea (the best kinda ally is only an ally)157: War: Nopenopenope156: Orbs: ...huh?155: Magic: ...eh

[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Both153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: both150: Blondes or Brunettes: both149: Hot or cold: neither, warm148: Summer or winter: Summer147: Autumn or Spring: Spring146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla actually145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: Always been envious of straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: Flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Ugly and rich just to try it out137: Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Pass134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing if I must pick133: Coach or Chanel: ...huh?132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ...heh?131: Small town or Big city: Biiiiiig city130: Wal-Mart or Target: Walmart129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler128: Manicure or Pedicure: Both127: East Coast or West Coast: Both?126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Birthday125: Chocolate or Flowers: Both, I'm greedy, probably chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: Neither

[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Don't have it, don't support it, conversation works better.121: George Bush: Couple bands wrote some hate songs about him.120: Gay Marriage: IF YOU DON'T SUPPORT IT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING FOLLOWING ME? see question 200 and piss off.119: The presidential election: AHAHAHAHAHAHA next118: Abortion: AHAHAHAHAHAHallow it, their kid, their prerogative117: MySpace: 10/10 great ironic joke to make116: Reality TV: Big Brother was fun till 2017115: Parents: They were fun till 2006114: Back stabbers: see question 200113: Ebay: ....eh112: Facebook: kinda dead now111: Work: ...huh?110: My Neighbors: cool people, rowdy dog109: Gas Prices: Overcharged like everyone says108: Designer Clothes: Overcharged like everyone says107: College: Not as bad as the perception is106: Sports: ...eh105: My family: ...eh104: The future: It depresses me in all honesty, but so does everything

[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: ...shit...102: Last time you ate: 3 hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today100: Cried in front of someone: maybe last week...maybe99: Went to a movie theater: 6 months at the least ago98: Took a vacation: 3 weeks ago..sigh97: Swam in a pool: A long ass time96: Changed a diaper: Maybe a few years95: Got my nails done: Maybe a few years94: Went to a wedding: 2 years93: Broke a bone: never, lucky I know92: Got a piercing: never91: Broke the law: 4th grade90: Texted: 1 minute ago

[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: My friend Sayem because he is consistently a dumbass and I love him for it88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: banana bread87: The last movie I saw: Amelie 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: when my new album comes in the fucking mail85: The thing im not looking forward to: tomorrow84: People call me: Donatello actually (y'all are not allowed to) (I'll block you, don't think I won't block you)83: The most difficult thing to do is: be happy82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus80: The first person i talked to today was: Might've been @lovelyformylove but I dunno79: First time you had a crush: age 9, it didn't ruin me till 1178: The one person who i can’t hide things from: myself, duh (hide shit from people all the time)77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: maybe today76: Right now I am talking to: nobody (COME HERE)75: What are you going to do when you grow up: make a thing for people to consume or pirate as entertainment...or die first74: I have/will get a job: see question 7373: Tomorrow: but far away is tomorrow?72: Today: I will suffer for who I chose to care about71: Next Summer: I will be in another country [see question 72]70: Next Weekend: I will sleep in69: I have these pets: not yet68: The worst sound in the world: Forks on plates67: The person that makes me cry the most is: easily myself, duh66: People that make you happy: too exhausting a list65: Last time I cried: last week64: My friends are: really great for tolerating me63: My computer is: finally decent62: My School: a waste of a perfectly good Indian burial ground61: My Car: sitting in a dealership, still waiting60: I lose all respect for people who: fuck with people's emotions (I break my own rule because I am a hypocrite)59: The movie I cried at was: ....can't remember58: Your hair color is: Black/really dark brown57: TV shows you watch: Elementary, The Blacklist, Archer...can't remember the rest 56: Favorite web site: this dumb piece of shit, I mean Tumblr55: Your dream vacation: probably a recording studio to be honest54: The worst pain I was ever in was: something stupid and emotional53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium well52: My room is: pretty dark51: My favorite celebrity is: Corey Taylor?50: Where would you like to be: see question 5549: Do you want children: sure48: Ever been in love: tragically47: Who’s your best friend: Jeremy/Sayem46: More guy friends or girl friends: Real life: guys, here: girls45: One thing that makes you feel great is: a really good riff44: One person that you wish you could see right now: myself in 10 years (most answers witm "myself" are cop outs for real people)43: Do you have a 5 year plan: fuck no42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: not yet, but I procrastinate on most important things41: Have you pre-named your children: Michael/Micayla so far, very small shortlist40: Last person I got mad at: myself (that one is authentic)39: I would like to move to: Denmark (escapism capital of my mind)38: I wish I was a professional: composer

[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Hershey's Cookies n Cream36: Vehicle: pass35: President: Obama I guess34: State visited: nowhere33: Cellphone provider: Rogers?32: Athlete: pass31: Actor: pass30: Actress: pass (I've gone numb)29: Singer: see question 5128: Band: changes, currently Foo Fighters27: Clothing store: pass26: Grocery store: FreshCO?25: TV show: Elementary maybe24: Movie: Ameline currently23: Website: this dumb waste of time, I mean Tumblr22: Animal: TURTLE21: Theme park: Wonderland?20: Holiday: New Year's Day19: Sport to watch: Wrestling probably18: Sport to play: Not wrestling xD17: Magazine: Probably some guitar magazine16: Book: Maybe 198415: Day of the week: Saturday easily14: Beach: haven't been to many memorable ones13: Concert attended: see question 1412: Thing to cook: egg, ham, and cheese bagels11: Food: see question 1210: Restaurant: August 8, no joke9: Radio station: the one with the nice classical music8: Yankee candle scent: pass7: Perfume: Chanel something6: Flower: Magnolia5: Color: Green or red, never at the same time4: Talk show host: John Oliver3: Comedian: Bill Burr or Jim Jefferies2: Dog breed: Beagle1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yes

[benjaminhunter]

wow dont read this if youre gonna unfollow for me speaking a bit abt my life situation btw even if the whole thing sounds so much like a 15year old narcissistic cunt’s post venting about their emo problems and their ‘i hate my fucking life’ stick like i used to vague about on scattered fanfic french blogs; look ill get over myself ! sooner than you think ! but i havent made a really personal post on this blog in a while cos it felt.. useless and self pitying in the wake of the really upsetting suffering i see on my dash, from the mutuals i consider friends and the political situation that i kinda want to escape from? but even then. that feels self pitying. and also its almost 8 am so no one will see the bs im posting. so  anyway an update on my thrilling life ! my moods have been flickering between extreme anger and complete exhaustion ! obssessively checking social medias of artists i really looked up has transformed the feeling of admiration i felt into complete beatdowns of myself, always comparing myself to them and rejecting everything decent i made.. getting angry over ship content for absolutely no reason when ive always been the type to be ‘oh fuck it live and learn’; now my anger is making me feel like im expecting ppl to draw content for a f/f rarepair and when this rarepair is overshadowed by huge het or m/m popular pairs i get pissed off, storm and brood about it, feeling like im a child throwing a tantrum ! so thats fun !!!!!!!!!!! lol !!!!!!!!! all my insecurities flooding back because the dam is damn broke when ive been taping it the best i could over the past years. so im feeling intense jealousy at talented artists finishing their projects and starting new ones, and w/ mikus 10th bday coming up and everything- it feels like when youre following your multiplayer guild’s quest in a mmorpg but with bad internet. theyre accomplishing so much and im. here? what? what achievement do i have for myself? oh yeah. i played dr:ae at least ten times. and yet i still couldnt find the energy to make decent dr:ae fanart. its awful. its terrible ! and my asshole dad feels like he can strut all he want because i chickened out on calling the cops on him that one time and hes been even more verbally abusive, although the good side is hes not hitting me or my sis anymore. i guess pulling a knife on him once when hes done so on me so many times impressed him a bit, yknow, the snake that comes back to bite you in the ass? you reap what you sow bs? yeah. so no more slaps or punches, which is good. i guess he yells more and lashes out at the dog, which is terrible, but he hasnt been a complete ass to the rabbit, mostly because hes too lazy to come upstairs and kick chaussette’s cage or smash stuff off the shelves i guess. still the wifi is Very bad cos obvs my parents are hogging the bandwidth, the weather is bad, my sis and i dont have money to fish out of our purses to go to the pool, the library is closed & friends are either working or on holiday away with their families, also our teacher just confirmed that there will be an entrance exam at the start of year2 and i need to get stellar grades to get into the teacher course,so im wasting my eyes frantically speedrunning japanese grammar basics from year1; while my moms accusing me of being selfish for not wanting to go on a stupid 2week trip when i want nothing to do with her and my dad. my ex’s situation is still hanging over my shoulders, that bitch is still cursing me beyond the grave shes been digging and the shit morons that are her friends are still trash talking me, make ‘triggerd memes ;)))’ about me which is fine i guess :)) at least im not lurking their every tweet & post they do so my head is mostly clear on that, the trick is not to think about it or else it WILL fuck me up.. u got other worries like im worried about getting a job even and im worried about celeste’s job and while i know she definitely can handle herself im afraid of drunks coming into her store, have been ever since i started living with one, so theres that lel. 

im glad i got to spend some time with suke and yura and manon before we parted ways two weeks ago, and celeste i ever so sweet.. its been 1 (one) whole year since weve been together although it feels like ive loved her for .. way longer than this so. like if i could get one wish rn, it’d be to get to leap across the ocean so i could be physically close to her and enjoy some time w/ her. get you a girl who gives you butterflies like that, man. shit. wow wow chica bow wow this is long winded and whiny and ill probably regret ever writing that

[mysplaced-pen]

Hello! Hope you are doing fine :) could you write a story with Zen x MC where MC had years of suffering bc of her parents? Mother and father were mistreating and hitting her bc they were extremely strict and drink too much alcohol. One day she ran away from home and left everything behind. Even her older brother didn't help her. She also got a handicaped sister who she took care of since childhood. Now she can't see her and Zen is the only person who understands her and helps her ease the pain

hey anon! to be honest I’m still a bit sick, but thank you :) also, thank you for the request! It was…a lot, but I had some fun with it. It goes along with zen’s route, for the most part, leaving out Echo Girl.

oh, and since you didn’t specify ‘handicapped’ I left it kinda vague, hope that’s okay ^^;;  side note: im hoping this was your imagination but pls don’t hesitate to talk to me if you wanna 

I hope you like it!! Requests are open

Word Count: 2017(well isn’t that ironic)  Trigger Warnings: alcohol, hitting(.. i can’t word things), past abuse ,cheesy zen

Edit: sorry cuts hate me;;

 “You’re late.” Her father’s voice. “I thought we made it clear that 8 o’clock was your curfew.” Her mother’s now. Which wasn’t good—she could handle one of them, but both was just annoying. She had hoped it was one of those days where they would pass out by 7:30, but apparently she wasn’t that lucky. Still, she was 5 minutes late… “Do you have anything to say for yourself, MC?” No, she didn’t. Even if she did, it’d be useless. “Nothing, huh? How ungrateful…we were giving you a chance.” Sure, mother, call it a chance. “Look at me, young lady.” MC reluctantly followed her father’s words, knowing full well what would happen. It wasn’t the first time—and it probably won’t be the last—but she grew used to it. One slap for every minute she was late. This time, it was 5. The least she ever got was 2, the most 15. Her father did the hitting while her mother counted and poured both of them another drink. Scotch this time…must be a Thursday. When that punishment was over, a bag search. That was the easy part. Her mother would take the bag from her and shake it until everything spilled out on the floor. A pack of gum, her house keys, loose coins, a $10 bill, and a tube of lip gloss. They’d take her $10, give her one last, hard slap for “worrying them”, and send her upstairs. MC didn’t even care about the money, she had something more important in a hidden pocket she made. A girl learns things over the years.

While she went upstairs, she passed her older brother’s room. He used to be helpful, but he caved. Now, he was practically like them. Just as drunk and rude, the only difference being he didn’t hit her. He stayed holed up in his room, only going out for school and the occasional party he gets invited to. MC had half the mind to wonder if those parties made him any different. He wasn’t important, though. What was important, was her sister. She meant the world to MC, especially since she was the one to take care of her when they were kids. There was…an accident when MC was 7 and her sister was 5 that left her practically under house arrest. These days, she barely ever came out of their shared room. It wouldn’t surprise MC if their parents forgot about her. “Psst, it’s me.” MC whispered, opening the door just enough for her to slip through. “I got you something.” Her sister moved the blanket from her face and turned to her. “Is that why you’re late..?” MC shrugged, taking out the small bag apple slices from the hidden pocket in her bag. There were only 4, but she knew it would make a big difference. “It was worth it.” She said. Walking to her sister, MC carefully opened the bag and handed her a slice. “No it wasn’t MC,” her sister said, taking the slice anyways. “You shouldn’t get beat for fruit…” MC sat at the edge of the bed, getting a slice out for herself. “We shouldn’t get beat, period. But that’s our life, right?” Her sister ate the slice slowly, savoring it. “It doesn’t have to be. You could get out of here.” “And leave you?” MC responded automatically. “I couldn’t.” MC’s sister shook her head, “You can. And you should. One of us deserves a decent life.” MC popped the whole apple slice in her mouth and handed the rest to her. “Do we?”

When the day came, MC was definitely not prepared. “Go!” Her sister whisper-yelled from their bed, motioning her to the window. “We planned this, remember? Out the window, to the back, and do not stop until you see the third gas station.” MC nodded, opening the window. It was pointless to be quiet, their father was coming up the stairs as they spoke. MC started to put a foot out the window when she turned back to her sister. “And you’re going to stay in bed, and pretend you’re me…oh, this is ridiculous, just let me take it-” “No!” Her sister cut her off. They heard their father’s voice down the hall. “I didn’t answer your question back then, but the answer is yes. One of us does deserve a decent life. And you’re our last chance. So go!” The voice was getting closer, and MC was still not completely sure about this, but she knew her sister meant that. And out the window she went.

It had been 4 years since she left. At first, she tried to keep contact with her sister. Even if that only meant flying paper airplanes to the window. But she was found out one day by her mother, who yelled at her to never come back. MC didn’t know what happened that day or after, but they didn’t threaten her to come back. Part of her was relieved at first, another knew exactly why. It was confirmed by her mother, who had told her, “don’t you dare come back here, MC! It would be a huge disappointment to your sister, huh?” They hadn’t forgotten. Which meant who knows what for her sister. “If I see you near our house again, then you will come back. And it’ll make things so much worse.” Was the last thing she heard from her mother, complete with a smirk and a vodka bottle in hand. Vodka meant she was extra strict and dangerous, but it also meant somewhat honesty—much worse than lies. That, and it was Monday.

Ever since then, MC had nightmares. About what had happen to her sister, about if they would force her back there, how bad things really were. They did seem to get a little better, however, when she joined the RFA. That was also kind of forced, but the RFA was full of nice people. Nicer than pretty much everyone she knew before. There was one person who, uh, was a little too nice at times, but MC found herself drawn to him. Sure, the others were just as nice. She thought that Yoosung was cute, Seven was amusing to talk to, Jaehee was kind, and Jumin was even funny sometimes. She even liked V, though she rarely saw him. But Zen was…weird. In a good way. Her nightmares seemed to not be as frightening when she talked to him before going to sleep. He called every morning just to talk, made sure she ate—like everyone else—and now she had more pictures of this guy on her phone than she did herself. Seven told her he was kind of into her. Yoosung agreed. Jaehee was skeptical, but MC could understand. She was just getting to know this guy, just like she was with the rest of them, it’s not like she could fall in love through a messenger. But then he sprained his ankle and she was in a car Jumin sent on her way to his house. She was nervous, even dressed up a little bit. Okay, maybe she could fall in love through a messenger. Maybe.

Wait, did MC really find love over a messenger? Because she was supposed to leave his place an hour and a half ago, but here they were eating dinner together and laughing over something he said. It was easy around him, MC thought. And he was happier again, though she didn’t even have the chance to mention the cat food model job—sorry Jumin. After dinner, he took her up to the roof. It was a beautiful night, with stars practically everywhere. There, he spilled his life story to her. And at first, MC was surprised at how similar they really were, but she took her time to listen. This was important to him, she could tell. Plus, the blush on his face was cute. Damnit MC, focus. “It’s strange,” Zen said, “I feel as if I’ve known you for a long time…you’re strange.” MC smiled a bit, “Well…maybe it’s because we have kind of similar stories.” Zen looked at her, tilting his head a little. “What do you mean?” “It’s a long story…” “You listened to me, it’s my turn to listen to you.” He said, returning her smile. Now MC was blushing. “Alright…here we go.”

She took a deep breath and told him everything. From the accident with her sister, to the alcohol, to when the beatings started, her older brother, all the way to the day she ran away. Even the nightmares and the day she was yelled at by her mother. Somewhere along the way, she started crying. Not long after that, Zen started crying too. When she finished her story, the two of them were a mess. “MC..” Zen said, regaining his composure first. “How long…have you been keeping all of that in?” She shrugged lightly, “What, 4 years? It doesn’t matter, they’re not what I’m worried about-” “It’s your sister.” He said, cutting her off, but she nodded. “…I can’t see her anymore. I don’t know what they’re doing to her, what they already did to her, I just left her!” Zen quickly took her hand, intertwining his fingers and holding it tightly. “MC, listen to me. Nothing that happened was your fault. I have no doubt that your sister is proud of you and does not regret your decision. She’s happy that you left.” MC looked at him, her tears coming to a stop. “But they’re probably hurting her…” Zen sighed and brought up their hands, kissing hers gently. “I know…but whatever you do, you can’t go back.” She nodded, the blush coming back slightly. “You’re right…and I’m sorry, you have family problems too. I fully support you in your decisions, you know that. If you want to go back or not.” Zen smiled, “ Don’t be sorry. And I know, princess. Thank you. Oh, it’s late…you should probably go back to the apartment…” MC blinked, “Oh, yeah…Jumin’s driver is still outside…” He helped her stand up, hands still together. “I’m sorry if it seems like I’m kicking you out, but I honestly feel like I might faint just holding your hand.” MC laughed, following him back inside. “Please don’t. Your ankle still isn’t fully healed.” They continued talking while they walked towards the door. “It will be by tomorrow, I know it! Anyways…text me when you get back safe, okay? Promise?” MC nodded, “I promise.”

It was late by the time MC got back to the apartment, but she didn’t mind. She texted Zen as promised and joined the messenger when she saw he was on. Yoosung was on too, and the three of them talked for a while, but he went off once one of his guild members called him for a raid. Then it was just the two of them.

‘That boy..anyway I’m glad you made it back safe, MC. Make sure you rest up’

‘I will, you rest up too. You’re going back to the doctor tomorrow. Goodnight Zenny~’

They both left the chatroom, but he called her right after. “Can’t get enough of me?” She said teasingly when she answered. “No, actually. I can’t. Haha” He said, “I really just…wanted to thank you. For coming over, letting me share my story, and letting me listen to yours.” “I should thank you for having me…you made dinner.” She heard his laugh again, “That’s nothing, babe. I just made dinner. You made my day.” MC laughed now,  “Are you always this cheesy?” “I prefer ‘romantic’, but either way the answer is yes.” She rolled her eyes, smiling. “But seriously…thank you. And sweet dreams, my love. No nightmares tonight. It’ll just be you and me in the land of dreams.” He hung up after that, but he still left MC with a smile. And that night, there were no nightmares, like MC had a clear head for once. She really did just dream of the two of them, back on the roof and looking at the stars. 

[leaflovescloud]

July;

I’m so glad that I’ve got this small little place for me to express my thought once in a while. But this time, something is different. Because, I just broke up recently and we are no longer in a LDR anymore. 

How things could change huh? The irony. few months ago I was still deeply in love with this guy but now things are not the same anymore. To be frank, I still very much love him and I wish we didn’t have to do this. I wish I could do something to save us, me, and him. But what I’m lacking at this moment is a leap of faith. I’m not sure if I can do it again. I’m afraid of being vulnerable like this again. 

I still remember he said it to me, “It’s best if we just don’t talk anymore.” I affirmatively agreed to that because I know it’d best for us to move on even though I really don’t want to move on at that point of time. I couldn’t recall how hurtful it was, but then again, he just kept texting me. And I couldn’t complain that I found it annoying cos it’s not. It’s just that, it’s making my life harder to move on. 

I can’t deny it’s extremely hurtful to me. So, me being not thoughtful and extremely spontaneous, booked my flight ticket to Chiang Mai. Many have asked, “Why Chiang Mai?” “Thailand is dangerous.” “You sure you wanna go alone?” But for some reasons, it’s gonna sound super cliche, but I really did/ do know that CM is the right place to go. The fact that I ‘ve never been to CM doesn’t really matter. I feel that at that point of time, my life been giving me signals and guidance to visit CM on July. So I did it and I really did it. 

It’s cool cos it’s my first time travelling alone, abroad. I mean it’s not a big deal for westerner by looking at the digital nomad trends. But it’s extraordinary for a girl from a very Asian cultured family. But again, I just know I have to do it and I couldn’t worry more. Of course, I have my considerations before this trip, like will I ever felt lonely etc. But life is just more than that, it’s really up to us to direct where our sail is going. Sometimes, we really have to believe in ourselves and make sure we are open to many other opportunities. 

So there you go, I was in CM! The moment when I landed at CM,  I was trying to figure out how to use the Grab service over there. Being worried of getting scams by cab drivers and puzzled by the Thai words shown on my grab apps, I eventually made my way to Stamps Backpacker - where I stayed for 5 nights. Honestly, while I was planning for my trips, such as deciding where to stay, it’s kinda a big headache to me, As I was tight on budget, so I can only afford staying in a backpacker hostel. But then again, there are just so many choices but Stamps backpacker just caught my eyes. Apparently, it’s a social hostel and there are events everyday. So I just thought it might be a good way to know people around. So when I was there, I was just completely in awe, I wasn’t able to spot an asian tourist like me. It’s full of westerners and me being an introvert started to be anxious. I quickly settled down and went out for dinner. And that’s how I met Tom, an Irish-Australian. We talked for a lil bit and he ended up buying me dinner which I was extremely grateful. Then, I got back to the hostel, thinking of joining hostel peeps for karoke/ pub quiz. But I was still too shy to blend in. So, me being shy and reluctant to go back to my room, I forced myself to have a G&T by the bar counter and hoping that someone would talk to me. 

There you go, I talked to Brandy and Andrew. They were super nice and we ended up hanging together by the nearby bar - Fat Elvis where you get to sing. And that’s my first time trying out Sangsom Soda that completely knocked me out after lol. We had so much fun and we head to BB bar for another drinking session again. It’s fun to drink with people that I’ve never met before, like the owner of the hostel, the hostel staff and others. It really was a break through to me. Cos I usually only mix with people that I find comfortable with and I always there is no need to know more people. And... as far as I remember, my night pretty much ended here. But according to them, I was drunk. So what happened thereafter, I seriously had no idea at all lol. But it’s pretty much a good night. 

The next day morning was bad. Pretty much super hangover but still managed to wake up pretty early. I quickly washed up, and headed out. For some reasons, CM just feels like home to me. Like i’m not even afraid of being alone, I just know where to go. So I just walk for a lil bit, visiting the small alley and had lunch at a local food store by the road side. I really enjoy eating at a food place like this cos it makes me feel like im a local! Then I headed to this super small but cute cafe - Graph Cafe. The coffee is awesome but it’s like 100 baht lol. I’m pretty sure I’ve got other options there but well, i’m on a vacation! So, couldn’t care less. I was just resting and trying to recover from my hangover. Then I decided to explore around the Old City. So while I was walking, again there’s much Asian tourists to my surprise. But I was just keep walking without even referring to my maps. and there you go, I was at this temple - Wat Chedi Luang. It’s peaceful, not much people, the architecture was awesome. Essentially there are just too many temples around CM, but by far this is my favourite one. Just thought that it is authentic and connected to my heart. Then I had dinner alone as well. After that went to this Night Bazaar - Ploeen Ruedee. It’s amazing, I’m feeling the vibes over there. But well, it’s full of westerners again, so I was just having beer while listening to the reggae live band. Then I took a tuk tuk back to my hostel and I thought that’d be the end of my night. 

Then, I couldn’t recall what happened but I guess, my hostel peeps were going to a Reggae Bar. and I met Andrew so I asked him if he’s keen and there you go my second night drinking again lol. Honestly, the night life in CM is really something, it’s not too crazy, it’s chill but it also gives you a nice kick that you need lol. We went to Spicy, Vegas afterwards. Pretty much night clubs hopping lol. and me being pretty much drunk again. 

The next day, I didnt feel that much of hangover. I had lunch with Andrew at a local khao soi place. After that, I had thai massage by myself, and decided to visit Doi Suthep without planning. Well, fair enough, I came to CM without a proper planning lol. I didn’t really know what to do. I just settled accomodation and flight ticket - and I guess that’s what I need to worry about. So I figured out my way to Doi Suthep, and the views up there is massive. I’m not sure if it’s true but I guess the reason why i fell in love with CM is because it’s pretty much like Penang. But I guess Penang has got more the “city” vibes various CM is pretty much kind of laid back. Then I had dinner with Andrew and went drinking afterwards again.  The dinner place was super good as I recalled. 

Anyways, I think there are still a lot more to write about my trip. But well. I guess the main purpose of me going for this trip is that I want to find myself, I want to love myself, I want to look for an answer to my doubt. I pretty much didnt manage to get an answer, throughout the trip I think I got myself into another muddles too. But again, everything happens for a reason, I just chose to accept it. Cos whatever it is, it all happened under my control, or in other words, I allow it to be happened. So there’s nothing much I can do about it. I guess it kind of just changed my mindset for a little bit or may be I learned how to handle things like an adult and not to be too harsh on myself. 

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to break up with Jackie. Cos I was totally clueless. I was just keep on thinking is this break up a reality that has to happen? is this some sort of signal by God? They say when you win some, you lose some. I’m not sure if this is what I have to sacrifice. I’m also not sure if I’m being too spiritual. But I’m just thinking perhaps putting a halt in this relationship is the right thing to do as well. Cos for the past few months, I’ve been living alone and the fact is that I thought I handled loneliness a lil bit too well. in a way I felt that I’m too strong whereas in reality I just know that I’m not. Also, being away from him for so long sometimes also makes me a lil bit clueless as to how a normal relationship should be? what do couples usually do? watching movie and having meals together? I have no idea. But whatever it is, I don’t feel that it’s something that I should worry for now. Cos I just figured out that it’s a good time to be with myself, and solely by myself. There are some thing that I need to sort it out, need to understand my inner need and I really need to love myself first before allowing someone to come into my heart. Because I don’t think I can handle someone I once loved leaving me like this again. 

You know, while writing this, I was just thinking if I was a tad bit naive back then to even start a relationship with him 2 and a half year ago. Even though I did not regret a single bit. But I just thought that it was still magical even till today. Unfortunately sometimes circumstances make things hard and unfortunately, at this juncture, we are truly defeated by the circumstances - distance. 

Whatever it is, perhaps it is true that you can’t have it both ways in life. sometimes, things are just too good to be true. Right now, even though my heart is broken but it’s healing. My heart is full after my CM trips, my results - it’s my first time getting dean’s list, I’m getting a decent job/ car, so I really couldn’t complain more. So I want to be grateful and live my life properly by properly loving myself. 

Also, I couldn’t thank Darren and Sim enough for accompanying me these days. they might not realize it but I just truly appreciate them. 

“Without fear or favour.” 

:) 

[ayayayayouch]

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20

tagged by: the lovely @callhimyoungk

im tagging:  
YOU! lmao jk i tag anyone who wants to do this

last 1. drink: water 
2. phone call: from my manager lol  
3. text message:from my sister lmao 4. song you listened to: everything you are by ed sheeran 5. last time you cried: i can’t remember tbh 6. dated someone twice: none 
7. kissed someone and regretted it: none 8. been cheated on: nah 9. lost someone special: yes :( 10. been depressed: not diagnosed but sometimes i feel depressed 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nah, i rarely drink...

3 favorite colors 12. green 13. pastel colors 
14. prussian blue

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yep
 16. fallen out of love: nah 
17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you:
 lmao my parents.. they trashtalk behind my back :\ 19. met someone who changed you: not really 20. found out who your friends are: idk, i don’t think i can really know who my friends are.. but we’re solid  21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: nah

general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like a hundred of them lol (ok there’s no number twenty-three) 24. do you want to change your name: funny thing is, i hated my name back in hs i thought that ‘joanna’ is kinda posh... but now that i know what it means.. and now that i’m all grown up, i love it now.. it sounds so fierce and elegant. so no. i don’t want to change my name. :D 25. what did you do for your last birthday: worked lmao i just don’t really feel like celebrating my birthday anymore tbh

26. what time did you wake up: around 8am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: lmao washing the frickin dishes fml 28. name something you can’t wait for: having a career and living my life to the fullest 
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: today 
30. what are you listening to right now: the clicking sound or is it tapping sound of my keyboard lol 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: nope

32. something that is getting on your nerves: so my job requires me to have a great customer service skill and damn lemme tell you about the types of people you’d frickin encounter... and this is basically the things that gets on my nerves: rude people, those frickin people who frickin complain a lot about trivial things, racists, judgmental people, those people who frickin gets angry in an instant like damn pls don’t throw a fit be calm... omfg i could go on and on but imma stop here.. basically, those people who can’t be a decent human being get on my nerves.

33. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, facebook lol 
34. hair color: black (just like my soul lol jk) 35. long or short hair: mid-length hair haha 36. do you have a crush on someone: you betcha! and his name is brian kang lol 
37. what do you like about yourself? ooh this caught me off guard.. i guess i like that i’m stubborn lol i don’t give up easily bc of that, and i like that i am aware of the people around me like i can tell what they’re feeling so i can adjust myself when i’m with them and give them an extra push if they need it.. physical-wise tho, i love my eyes and a lot of people do say i have a nice smile :) (there’s no number thirty-eight ??) 39. blood type: idrk lol

40. nickname: jojo  41. relationship status: happily single lmao  42. zodiac: taurus (ya know jae and i would prob get along as he is also an earth sign plus tauruses are compatible with virgos so jae hi lmao also my frickin crush is a virgo.. i also have a virgo best friend...and i frickin read somewhere that sag and taruses are least compatible hahaha brian is a sagittarius and yeah they’re really adventuruous.. i also have a frickin sag crush haha he’s too much for me lol sorry about the zodiac ramblings and before y’all label me as crazy, i do know that the zodiac signs are just guides in our lives and should not only be the one to consider when doing something; i’m just fascinated and interested okay) 43. pronouns: she and her 
44. favorite tv show: hmm fav tv show?? maybe csi:miami  45. tattoos: i don’t have one 

46. right or left handed: left 
47. surgery: nope

48. sport: badminton lol and i’m interested in ultimate frisbee  
49. vacation: i really want to visit south korea, england and australia  
 50. pair of shoes: i have comfortable ones idk if this is the right answer to this question hahah

more general 
 51. eating: nah 52. drinking: nah 53. i’m about to: write a draft for a story i’m working on 54. waiting for: the president to end his term lmao if y’all know who i’m referring to  55. want: a frickin career and stable job 
56. get married: maybe someday, if i am destined to be a wife lmao bc brah srsly i’ve been single my whole life 
57. career: i want to work in either a laboratory or something graphic design related

which is better
 58. hugs or kisses: both but it depends who the hug or kiss is from lmao

59. lips or eyes: the first thing that catches my attention is the eyes ngl 60. shorter or taller: taller
 61. older or younger: older or we have the same age lol 
62. nice arms or nice stomach: idk as long as the person is healthy

63. hook up or relationship: brah i’ve been serious since the day that i had an idea about such things so definitely relationship 
64. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker? idk my logical explanation is... if someone’s a troublemaker that means he or she is acting his or her goals and being hesitant means thinking too much that sometimes results in not doing anything at all.. 
65. kissed a stranger: nah 66. drank hard liquor: nah  
67. lost glasses/contact lenses: no

68. turned someone down: yes 69. sex on the first date: no

70. broken someone’s heart: i don’t think so

71. had your heart broken: yes T-T 72. been arrested: nope 73. cried when someone died: yes T-T my grandpa and one of my closest friend died on the same year, just a few months apart and lemme tell you that it frickin sucks :( it still feels like it was yesterday i miss them so much 74. fallen for a friend: i really don’t know the answer but there’s this guy friend... sometimes i feel jealous if he’s with other girls.. but idk if that’s bc i like him or bc i just want to hangout with him like the old times back in hs so idk

do you believe in 75. yourself: i try my hardest to 76. miracles: yes 
77. love at first sight: nah 78. santa claus: no, i’m sorry!! :( 79. kiss on the first date: idk 80. angels: yes

other 81. eye color: black (just like my soul lmao i’m joking again) 82. favorite movie: matilda, harry potter and the sorcerer’s stone, harry potter and the chamber of secrets, the edge of seventeen 
83. lust or love: love 84. favorite item of clothing: my style is vintage but anything very aesthetically pleasing to me 85. favorite song: bruh i have a lot but since this is a kpop blog imma answer with kpop songs: congratulations, dance dance, be lazy, i’m serious, what can i do and bad boy (their cover) by DAY6.. silver spoon, 21st century girl, spring day, boys in luv, blood, sweat and tears by bts.. growl and kokobop by exo.. knock, angel heart and u by knk.. breathless, hide and seek, polaris and baby by astro.. hey girl by b.i.g. (I AM MAD THAT I CAN’T FIND AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF THIS SONG!!!! IT HAS BEEN A YEAR!)

and that’s about it heheh

[glitchybitchy1996]

92 truths

i was tagged by ❤ @mizpahes ❤ thnkss, luvbug!

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST…

1. Drink: water

2. Phone Call: my sister, erin

3. Text Message: my other sister, jada haha

4. Song you listened to: please, please, please let me get what i want- the smiths

5. Time You Cried: umm...last week? sad movie, i think

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: hell nope

7. Been cheated on: not sure :\

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no

9. Lost someone special: nah

10. Been depressed: throughout most of my teens, yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no, im a sleepy drunk tho

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

burgundy, sea green, lilac

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: yesss!

16. Fallen out of love: nooo

17. Laughed until you cried: everyday

18. Found out someone was talking about you: coworkers but whom cares

19. Met someone who changed you: ...nope

20. Found out who your true friends are: i think i have them figured out (this reminds me of the pinot nior song from kimmy schmidt lmao)

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i dont have fb anymore

22. How many of you Facebook friends do you know in real life: refer to 21

23. Do you have any pets: no :( my family's allergic to them

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i like my name!

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i went to skyzone w my friends, it was fun

26. What time did you wake up: 8am (for my job i hate mornings ugh)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading ficcc

28. Name something you cannot wait for: my dad’s wedding in ocean city this august!

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: just now, she cooking lol

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: being broke lmao

31. What are you listening to now: wake up alone- amy winehouse

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: this asswipe’s name was tom ordered food from my job last week, he was a dick lol

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ...myself

34. Most visited website: dumblr

35. Elementary: i was in and out of so many, its really a blur

36. High school: borrringgg

37. College/University: decent, for community i guess

38. Hair color: dark brown

39. Long or short hair: shoulder length fits me best

40. Do you have a crush on someone: i did....

41. What do you like most about yourself: im nice, funny, and helpful (so i’ve been told)

42. Piercings: none

43. Blood type: O+ i think?

44. Nickname: noddy, dia

45. Relationship Status: single, ain’t looking

46. Zodiac Sign: (im gonna try to spell this without spellcheck) saggittarius (nailed it!)

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV shows: (atm) legion, preacher, shameless

49. Tattoos: im not into needles

50. Right or Left Handed: right

FIRST…

51. Surgery: i broke my collarbone when i was ten and had to get surgery on it

52. Piercing: ears but i got an infection from it :(

53. Sport: if i must watch, football (usa)

54. Vacation: myrtle beach

55. Pair of trainers: um 7 idk

56. Eating: right now? nuggets

58: Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: watch rick and morty

60. Listening to: sia-elastic heart

61. Waiting for: something to jump off in my life, idk

62. Want: to not be bored ha

63. Get Married: hopefully before 35

64. Career: asl interpreter

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or kisses: kissess

66. Lips or Eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or Taller: taller

68. Older or Younger: muchh older!

69. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice

70. Sensitive or Loud: loud, but always mindful of my feelings :)

71. Hookup or Relationship: relationship

72. Troublemaker or Hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER…

74. Kissed a stranger: nope

75. Drank hard liquor: grosssss no

76. Lost glasses/contacts: dont wear to lose em (but im sure i would if i did)

77. Turned someone down: *elizabeth taylor voice* many times, darling, many times

78. Sex on first date: maybe? prob not

79. Broken someone’s heart: yea but fuckum!

80. Had your heart broken: yea but fuckum!

81. Been arrested: surprisingly no

82. Cried when someone died: not really, tbh

83. Fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: depends on the situation

85. Miracles: eh

86. Love at first sight: heck nope

87. Santa Claus: never

88. Kiss on first date: sure

89. Angels: sure

OTHER…

90. Current best friend’s name: andrew

91. Eye color: brown.

92: Favorite movie: let the right one in and what’s eating gilbert grape?

im kinda new to tumblr, so ill do 11 instead, okay? sorry if you’ve done this already

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