#i feel like i didnt articulate myself well bc there’s so much i want to say yet so little time

[crystallizsch]

Hello! I really like your art and comics with Jamil and your OC. It looks very cute!

I just want your thoughts on this as a Jamil lover. I really like Jamil but Idk why??? I like him so much that I cry whenever I don't get his card or daily greetings at login. He's not usually my type like Izuku or Tanjiro. Just want to know your thoughts since you like Jamil hehe. It's ok if you don't respond!

AAH THANK YOU SO MUCH it means a lot to hear you like them i really appreciate it!! 💖💕💖💕💖

ANYWAYS as a jamil enthusiast i ask myself that question too 🤠;;

dont know what kinda hypnotizing magic he did on me but it worked bc i was incredibly neutral about jamil when i first saw him and now he lives in my head rent-free

okay in all seriousness i ended up rambling about jamil and why i like him personally and it ended up longer than intended so uh proceed with caution under the cut 🧍

(i had to look up the characters you mentioned,,, i know both of the anime but BARELY know the characters so idk how to compare other than they seem to be the benevolent hero/protagonist type???) (so on that note theyre actual opposites??? of jamil 😭)

okay so for me i personally just find jamil’s character really fascinating (and relatable???)

like his character arc drew me in i think, i legit do not recall 100% how i started liking him bc he was NOT my usual type either

i saw him before book 4 and went “okay” 🤷 and moved on 😭

my usual type is kalim actually (the sunshine type with a depressing reason for being all sunshine-y lmao) but. i did not vibe at first with how kalim looks so i didnt really get attached to him either 🤧 (im absolutely fine with him now tho 😭 ive learned to appreciate him more thanks to other kalim enjoyers)

(and tbf a lot of twst characters i didnt think i would like but here we are)

back to jamil. alright maybe it’s his looks. maybe bc he’s a pretty guy idk. but if that’s the case i wouldve been all over vil bc he’s the definition of beautiful gorgeous guy who doesnt fw with gender norms but im NOT. instead it’s JAMIL.

i think it doesn’t help that aladdin is one of my favorite disney movies too 😭 jafar has that two-faced, manipulative disposition with a side of dramatic, and insane and that’s. actually just jamil.

so maybe i guess what drew me in with jamil is that sense of theatrics, the dramatics ;;; that dichotomy of having that level-headed, intelligent front he puts up but then also having this unhinged, unfiltered side that he shows when he is free to be more himself

i’m a sucker for seemingly calm and collected characters on the outside and then their true self being WAY more different and expressive

(i think this would make more sense if you’ve seen aladdin and if you remember how jafar is like in the movie) (i am also choosing to ignore that ONE scene with jafar and jasmine towards the end iykyk) (and the twst characters shouldnt be considered one-to-one with their disney counterparts anyway but i digress)

also scalding sands event my beloved it might be what actually sold me on him bc things like his little sister reveal and his childhood stories wrecked me

(also also i’m obsessed with his canon dynamic with kalim but that’s another thing altogether)

or maybe it’s not that deep and that i just grew attached for no particular reason 🧍 (and that reasoning in of itself should be completely fine as well if that’s your case! just. like who you like, there really doesnt have to be a reason as long as you enjoy them)

uhhhh in conclusion,,, jamil’s a really complex character tbh i could say so much more about his relatability but i feel like im already exposing myself a lot LMAO and i dont think i can properly articulate with words anyway how deeper his character is beyond my surface level thoughts

[cielles-random-vault]

new year's hangover☆

lil drabble where you befriend ghost at the tf141 new year's party... what can possibly go wrong?

content: drunkness, socially anxious-ish reader, ghost being ghost, passing out and hickeys.

author's note: UHHH HAI IM BACK?!?!? icl im kinda hating myself because im posting a drabble instead of a full work.... am sorry.. mi bad mi bad... also im waiting for friday for new invincible content because the brainrot is REALLL

also pls pretend i posted this on new year's eve... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YALL BTWWWWW

shotout to @unabashedcroissanttreefan bc i want to make her bitter /hj, and to @michelleart8 ! <3

anyway enjoy and pls reblog

wc: 1836

"will you be coming at the new year's party tonight?" price asked as he noticed you filling some paperwork in the common room.

"i dont think so" you sigh, "im not that much of a social person, and i still have a lot of paperwork to fill in,let alone medical files."

"are you sure?" price asked, worried you might overwork yourself, but then an idea suddenly came to his mind. "i heard the lieutenant will be there as well, rumors have it you have a crush on him, so it'd be a good opportunity to actually talk to him, instead of just- avoiding him like you do."

the thought of captain price having noticed you had a crush on ghost sent a bright blush to your cheeks, but you waved those thoughts away.

"even if he was here, that doesn't mean i stand a chance with him" you reply, losing focus on your paperwork, now that the lieutenant was mentioned. "we barely talk anyway, and he seems to hate me so..."

"he seems to hate everyone" price chuckled, "dont take it personally. did the fact that he will be there change your mind?"

"i dont know" you sigh, but your little smile was betraying you. "it will depend on whether i have finished filling those files. at what time will it start?"

"around 7!" price replied with a subtle smile, feeling like he convinced you to come. "oh,and, you can come in a casual outfit, no need to pull up the formal uniform", he winked and left.

the few hours that separated you from the awaited party came, and all of a sudden a sudden peak of anxiety invaded you.

what if everyone made fun of your awful social skills? what if you didnt dress well enough?

your overthinking stopped as you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket; surprisingly enough, it was a text from price.

are you coming? ghost is here 👀

you chuckled as you put on a comfy sweater, and headed to the common room.

"you came!!" price greeted you, smiling brightly at you. "make yourself at ease, go get yourself something to drink, and who knows? maybe alcohol can help you make a move on our lovely lieutenant" he chuckled, before handing you a cup of alcohol.

"do you... want to get me drunk so i could get rid of my social anxiety?" you asked price, raising an eyebrow.

"maybe" he chuckled, already sounding drunk, "is it working?"

"not reall- ouch"

you blushed brightly as you noticed ghost was the one who stumbled into you.

"oi," he said, sounding slightly drunk as well, "im sorry. must've lost my balance, probably drank too much already. you're y/n, right?"

"y-yes," you nod, still not over the interaction, praying he didn't notice the bright blush on your cheeks, "why?"

"because..." he tries to articulate, and nearly fell on the floor, "ive been meaning to tell you... you're doing a great ass good job... dont let my mean words convince you otherwise, k?"

"oh-" you said, taken aback by this sudden demonstration of kindness, your heart melting. "thank you lieutenant..?"

the evening went on, until the cheerful "happy new year!!!" resonated in the walls of the tf141's buildings, everyone happy to finally greet the new year.

the party then came to an end, and so you decided to stay a little longer to help clean the room. once you got done, and got ready to head back to your quarters, you noticed an odd figure.

was ghost... asleep? he sure seemed to. he probably passed out due to all the alcohol he had drank, and you couldn't blame him.

that's how he somehow ended in your quarters - and if you were to be honest, carrying a man as massive as him was NOT an easy thing, but you somehow managed to. you tried your best to put him in a comfortable position on your couch, but bringing him here was already kind enough, wasn't it? so you just left him laying down on the floor, covering his massive frame with a blanket, and put a pillow under his head.

"this sure was a strange new year's day" you thought out loud, "happy new year lieutenant"

just in case something happened to ghost, you decided pull an all nighter (?), and you were right to, well at least, soft of.

in the middle of the night, ghost woke up, seemingly not over his hangover.

"i'll tell you what, y/n, ive always been in love with you." he mumbled, barely able to stand.

your heart dropped at this confession, but you had to stay lucid: he couldn't possibly mean it, it had to be the alcohol, right? that would make no sense if he was in love with you.

but you couldn't help to secretely wish what he was saying was true, after all you know the saying: drunk words are sober thoughts, and now you really hoped the saying was true there.

"lieutenant,you're drunk, you should go back to sle-"

he interrupted you by kissing you, first on the lips, and then moved on to your neck, leaving a little trail of hickeys here and there.

you gave in the kiss, you knew it was wrong, but it felt so good, but quickly waved those thoughts off: it was wrong in any way. he was your superior, and drunk, you couldn't abuse his drunken state like that.

but the feel of his lips on yours sure felt like heaven...

as if nothing happened, he smirked softly as he pulled out of the kiss, and resumed his peaceful slumber on your floor.

however, the next morning was nothing like that.

"looks like someone had fun last night" ghost grumbled as he noticed your many hickeys. "what the fuck am i doing here? and where even is here, and did you poison me? why is my head pounding?" he asked, back to his usual stern self, and you would actually be surprised if he didnt.

"youre in my quarters" you reply as you handed him a cup of anti hangover tea. "i brought you here because we were the only two remaining at the party, and you passed out. and hum... about the hickeys, how much do you remember from last night?" you ask as you look away, embarassed at the thought of last night's passionate kiss.

"i dont remember shit, why?" he asked, sounding more annoyed than mean.

"okay i..." (you sigh) "promise not to get mad at me if i tell you?" (he shakes his head, annoyed) "okay, so... you confessed yesterday." you blurt out, "but that is not all." (you gulp.) "we also kissed and... you gave me those hickeys."

"oh." he said blankly, and you could feel the blush in his voice, despite his mask.

"yeah.." you chuckled awkwardly, not daring to look at him, "but i have one question though. were you honest when you said you... 'always have been in love with me?"

your heartbeat quickened as you waited for his answer, but you had to know.

"would it be weird if i said yes..?" he asked, unable to look at your eyes, and your heart nearly missed a beat. "i mean, youre always doing what youre told to despite the fact that i treat you like shit and... i don't know, i guess that made me develop a kind of soft spot for you... do you happen to feel the same way..?" he asked, and you could feel the vulnerability in his voice.

"i- i think i do..?" you replied, both confused and relieved. "i mean, i always thought you hated me but.. this feels a bit rushed. can we do it again?"

"okay" he nodded, "how does 'hello, my name is simon riley, known as ghost, lieutenant from the task force 141, and i am in love with the wonderful y/n' sounds?" ghost chuckled with a soft smile, loving at you with loving eyes.

"much better" you reply with a soft smile, butterflies fluttering in your stomach, way better.

later on that day, when you and ghost headed to the briefing room hand in hand, price couldn't help but let out a small laugh.

"see? seems like alcohol can do wonders" he whispered, and it made you let out a small chuckle as well.

[kindred-spirit-93]

*succinct & eloquent opening line. maybe a clever joke or quote* :D

do you ever sit there and contemplate your life choices after like a certain experience or a talk with a loved one?

do you ever come across a quote or a piece that seems like it was written for you in this particular moment in time? an anecdote that mirrors your current situation perhaps?

well im currently going through it & after a double whammy of mama lore TM during some resurfacing anxious & assorted crises, i dont even know what im going through anymore. but we shared a really sweet heart to heart and reminisced over good and less good times aw!

i am reminded that there is still much to life, light to be sought and found, good times yet to be had. its bittersweet. its mature. its scary? its like coming to terms with your mortality but on a smaller scale. or bigger whos to say...

i wont be venting anything, i think for now at least im content to vague post lmao. also my dad bought me some stress eating treats so i might need to go wallow in my feels for a bit

after i jinxed myself by saying im going on hiatus but failing to stay off the website lol (i had moot withdrawl symptoms sue me), i wont be repeating the same mistake, but with context clues i trust u can see where im going with this

it might sound presumptious to state so confidently that this next month of my life will be the hardest in my career, especially since im not even half way there yet, but the truth of the matter is that it is.

ive been struggling for well over a year now (mostly academically) and im both succeeding in places i didnt before (alhamdulillah!) but failing in the exact same places elsewhere. guys i may have anxiety lol

self fulfilling prophecies, nocebo effect, whatever it is & regardless of what you want to call it, its rough. its hard. im tired. theres still so much left and im tired. i shouldnt be this tired. or this empty. or careless. what have i let myself become? why am i punishing myself still?

this coming month will dictate the rest of my future and ill have no one to blame but myself if i let the opportunity slip through my fingers. but if all goes well inshallah i can put this all behind me and start anew so theres that silver lining :D

i kinda lost direction of this post about half an hour ago lol. my point is im going to try harder at balancing several life aspects bc i really cant put it off any more. i need to establish balance because ive been out of the loop for too long now. *shudders in python*

anyways there are plenty of things i have to work on, both in my studies and life, so i have that going for me *party kazoo noises*

id love to grace you all with some wise words or a life lesson or something but i dont have a neat one liner to sum up anything. despite that im writing this because sometimes letting thoughts float in my head isnt enough, i need to articulate and write it out because to let them roam in the vast expanses of my mind under the pretense that i achieved something is frankly silly as it is counterproductive.

a n y w a y , to anyone and everyone reading take care of yourselves and your loved ones. i wish everyone the best in life and in their endeavours. i will probably pop back in every now and again to catch up on messages and make sure everyone is alive and nothing burned down. i will however attempt to exert self control. (key word: attempt)

aight imma head out before i get too emotional or combust with the need to say something stupid like i love you be more unserious XD

[moonshynecybin]

other than rosquez and bezz and cele who comples u the most from the current (or past) grid?

okay so i am truly a baby motogp fan so im still feeling it out but!!

im interested in the pedrenzo lore but dont know enough about it! i just enjoy when men hate each other comma weirdly. so someone evangelize me about it

but the bulk of my braincrazy this weeks has been regarding casey stoner. he compels me sooo much i love a hater. more detailed under the cut but i get personal~ so read at your own risk i guess

actually so. hmm. VULNERABILITY ALERT: the thing is. i do somewhat. relate to casey in lots of ways. like looking at a person like marc marquez its easy to call him crazy (and even easy to call less reckless riders crazy) because its a very dangerous sport with lots of injuries but i do kind of get it. because i know a LOT of people like marc and the other riders. like my entire family is like that lol. family motto is "but did you die?" and like sometimes its close!! adrenaline junkies allllll of them

basically! i was heavily involved in a very niche extreme sport (whitewater kayaking) from a young age bc my parents (and brother) were/are very very good kayakers. some of the best in the world for a bit there. like for context: i know multiple olympians and did a few clinics with people who are now olympians when i was a kid/young teen before i quit. and my dad really wanted me to be an elite kayaker bc i was a little better than my brother. not as intense as some dad/coaches but its like. hard to articulate how integral to the fabric of our family this sport is. and how many people i know who have drowned/been permanently injured from it and how everyone i know loves the sport despite that, in ways that are really hard to understand from outside of it. like yes they are crazy (and marc is crazy) but if any one of us was away from a river for more than a month at a time we WILL go insane including myself.... theres photos of me being conerningly young in the cockpit of a kayak that i look at now and im like. who let me do that lol.

so its interesting for me to get into motogp with all these kids staring way too young and knowing each other and coming up in the sport and sacrificing their safety at the alter of a death sport they love so, so much because. hey i lived that! people i love still live that! im involved in the industry still! i cant let whitewater go, even if i do a less dangerous version of it now!

but i quit! because i was battling anxiety. which is an already alienating experience but ESPECIALLY when your entire life is dominated by a sport that is exclusively for people with maladaptive adrenaline responses lol. and when i was reading stuff that casey said about his retirement and how he would lie in his motorhome wanting to die before a race and then just. tell himself to suck it up bc he couldnt let people around him down.... well. same! i would literally cry before every kayak clinic or river trip for years until i had enough and fucking quit! and then i grew up, got an anxiety medication prescription, and started doing forms of the sport that didnt rely on me being strapped in to a vehicle under water and freaking out all the time and im generally in a much better place with it. but its kind of an impossible thing to explain to my peers who kayaked as kids who have the OPPOSITE of an anxiety disorder, who are also the only people who have that specific experience as being a kid raised in the sport bc the sport is sooo small. and i imagine casey deals with something similar.

so this has been DISGUSTINGLY vulnerable but its casey. he gets me i get him. we are holding hands

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I just finished season 4 and unlike with the others I didnt have a whole lot to say as a was watching, mainly because I was actually enjoying myself and thought the season was mostly really good ? absolutely wild. Nevertheless I have some thoughts

I LOVE Alya and Marinette working together, its a delight. When I talk about "man can you imagine if MLB did like a magical girl show and focused on female friendships instead of catfighting" THIS is what Im talking about!! And Idgaf about how this affects the Love Square at this point, this is all Ive wanted! Also, I feel like Alya and Nino knowing each others identities cheapens the Love Square conflict more than anything but I cant fully articulate why so I'll just leave it at that

The Love Square is in a very strange place where, when the identity reveal finally does happen, its simultaneously going to feel like its too little too late (a la the destiel confession bc this fucking show is just straight queerbaiting) and rushed because like. what kind of development is there between these two. They barely focused on romance this season (which is definitely part of why I think its better lol) but I dont mean that in the sense that we had less catfights and Marinette making a fool of herself for no reason, I mean that in the sense that it barely felt like they interacted at all, atleast to me so thats kinda odd

In the past Ive complained about how the civillian plotline usually feels very disconnected from the superhero/akuma plotline and I think theyve done a much better job, my favorite episode of the season is probably Qilin both for tying the akuma into the civillian plot and for having a somewhat unique conflict resolution. In general, I liked that we had people rejecting akumas as well as preventative measures in form of the charms, although I do think it sucks that a few episodes afterwards Shadowmoth just figures out a way to circumvent them and then its back to business as usual. I feel like a better workaround would be that the charms can only protect you from one akumatization each, so like, the charm Ladybug gave her grandfather in Simpleman can only protect him from becoming Simpleman again, but if he turns into Bakerix, she needs to give him a different charm. But I do find the charms cute

The new heroes all suck tbh, the only design I liked was Purple Tigress and Pigella came close to looking kinda good but then they made it this intensely unflattering shade of pink, which I find impressive because Rose is already wearing an completely different intensely unflattering shade of pink in her civillian form. One thing that I appreciated about whatever Mylenes superhero form is called, Pigella and Purple Tigress is that they had more justifiable reasons for Ladybug to pick them than most of the heroes in the last season, who were mostly just picked because They Were There ig. And then Penealteam rolled around and we were back to doing exactls that kind of bullshit. great.

Also, Ive already talked about this in a seperate post, but if they absolutely insisted on looking for a replacement for the Bee, it shouldve been Sabrina and they shouldntve invented a whole new character for it

Adrien got a little more focus this season and we actually got some insight into his character when hes not either The Object Of Marinettes Idolization or Ladybugs Punny Sidekick Thats Slowly Becoming Obsolete which I enjoyed because he has a lot of potential from a dramatic standpoint what with being Hawkmoths son and all, but hes usually so bland that I dont really care too much so this was pretty nice. And it only took us 4 seasons for him to get some focus, yknow, the other superhero in the title? Well better late than never I guess

Speaking of Adrien, Ive made quite a few posts where I said that this season would be ruined for me the second the Sentiadrien reveal happens but it never did, we're getting that in season 5 and I am not looking forward it especially considering the small taste Ive already gotten of it with Adrien being very obviously controlled by that ring. Like, I'll probably talk about it in more detail when it gets fleshed out in the show but for now I'll just say it doesnt make the stakes higher like the writers seem to think, it make the story wayyyy less interesting and it feels like its supposed to be an explanation for Adriens behaviour towards his father when we absolutely do not need one beyond "hes being abused"

I know I said that I thought this season was really good and now Im just just complaining mostly like I always do but idk, Im not as good at formulating my positive thoughts as my negative ones. The last thing I'll say is that I loved Scarabella and I loved her design and I loved the whole episode she was in, as well as the entirety of Sentibubbler, Alya really served this season

Thats it, thanks for reading :D

[alarming-prism]

i saw your response to the ask about a fic u wanted more positive engagement on and i just want u to know i read that when i didnt have an ao3 account and have been searching for that fic FOREVER like it drove me so crazy it was so good. like im the type who usually only reads happy endings but it literally plagued my thoughts for MONTHS it was so good.... their relationship was so deliciously awful i think its peak representation of fq during their era of nothing but raw hurt and festering resentment from misunderstandings and all the outside factors stressing them out.... so excited to watch fxmq irreparably hurt and damage each other.... also yes the writing was a bit confusing but like in a good way,,,, like if it had been less vague and more clear i feel like it wouldnt have been as enjoyable bc that writing style really fit the vibe of the story, it kind of pulled it all together ykwim? like i really loved how u wrote it i think it was perfect as is, i cant think of a single possible thing that could make it even better.... yeah, tbh just for all your fics, u have this way of setting a kind of atmosphere throughout that just really brings the whole story together, like i noticed it in the mq toy store employee fic and the broken threads fic too. im not articulate enough to identify or describe what it is exactly that u do, but u do it sososososoooooo well it drives me crazy. youre amazing <33 ok ummmm i love all your writing and i will easily wait another 10 years for a hint of a second chapter for this fic or any other works by u, so please take your time without worry, i hope u have an amazing day/night, byeeee :3 <3

i'll have you know that i had a super rough day yesterday + i'm currently sick rn and when i got this ask i started to tear up. you get me and you get exactly what i'm going for. i understand wanting happy endings but i'm also desperate to explore the part of fengqing that's in continuous conflict not through any fault of their own but because of their circumstances + who they are as people,, and i know that's not for everyone but it makes me so happy that you understand what i'm trying to do here lmao.

i think i'll legitimately have to rethink my entire life if it takes me ten years to finish the second chapter, but i just checked my fic tracking doc and i started it back in february so uhh. i can't make any promises but this did make me open up that doc again and nanowrimo is coming up so i'll have to work on something or other. and every time i actually start thinking about this fic again i start to go insane. i think last time i worked on it i made myself cry? i'm definitely just oversharing at this point but.

idk just. thank you so much for sending such a long, heartfelt ask. it made a shitty day infinitely better. i hope you have an amazing day/night right back <3

[candychameleon]

Talk about your love for MegaStar 👀

oh no what HAVE you done uhh i will try to like...keep my thoughts condensed bc the ESSAYS i could write on this ship. my dissertation on megastar

okay this ended up being long so i WILL put this under a readmore LMAO

i mean the thing is i could write so much because their dynamic is both like the same but also SO DIFFERENT IN EVERY CONTINUITY so my thoughts on megastar changes depending on continuity like. how i feel about TFA Megastar is not exactly the same as how i feel about TFP Megastar or Earthspark Megastar or IDW Megastar but like...the one thing i like the MOST about megastar is just how dysfunctional and codependent it can be (sorry hkdsfh but also idk what anyone expects with megastar i...am not sure anyone ships it bc its a paragon of a healthy relationship)

which is like a whole other can of worms but i find that sort of thing interesting in general, bc like...ALL cybertronians to a degree are dysfunctional, some more than others, but that kinda comes with the territory of having a 4-million year long civil war and one (1) therapist (who is only in one continuity). none of them really know HOW to be healthy and it's interesting exploring that and the different ways they've been broken and the different ways they cope. and to me megastar is one of the MORE interesting examples because like there is something to be said about knowing someone and being THAT close to them for as long as megatron and starscream have. they know each other better than anyone else, which is both isolating and a strange comfort. if starscream or megatron were ever to disappear or die, the other would lose a not-insignificant part of themselves; i don't think either of them even remember what their life was like without the other, nor can they really imagine it. like starscream being megatron's SiC has them working together for basically their entire lives i'd imagine. which is like...also something i wish was explored more, WHY starscream is megatron's SiC. like show me why he earned that rank! show me why he KEEPS that rank, why megatron trusts him THAT much, because like...obviously he must be SiC for a reason. why would megatron appoint him as his second if he did not in SOME capacity feel starscream was capable of leading the decepticons if he's gone (so like...stories of starscream being hopelessly incompetent kinda frustrate me sometimes. like sometimes i find them amusing but man i would love more of Dangerous, Competent Starscream bc he is SO enjoyable that way too). like TFA Starscream is one of my favorite depictions of Starscream because he is a THREAT and you can INSTANTLY see with everything he does WHY he is rightfully feared by autobots and proves megatron shouldn't have underestimated him

they're messy and co-dependent and i wish i could find like DMs where i've rambled abt it bc i've definitely articulated myself better in those and i'm having trouble w words rn hfldksjh. i want them to watch the world to burn, together, hand in unlovable hand

i find their relationship and dynamic just fascinating, not even 100% from a shipping standpoint, just in general (although i do also ship them and think they should kiss. or that they're bitter exes, which is like...ALSO a very fun dynamic to explore for me)

i guess if you want more focused thoughts ask me about a specific continuity bc i have a LOT to say about different megastars! like ESPECIALLY earthspark lately, but yeah. w/o a continuity i just talk about like...megastar OVERALL like IN GENERAL what i enjoy in a megastar dynamic

not to mention like every continuity ever has ENABLED and fed me so much. the megastars eat so well all the time and i thank hasbro for it. didnt like wfc but "i like his arrogance actually" will be THE highlight of the whole thing. did ANY of this rambling make sense. god i hope so, god i hope not

[fjelln]

i love this brush more than i love myself

literally hard drugs

frehendils. bc i love him also. need 2 draw him more. i gave him a tail recently. his form is not constant but he has a form to default to, this one. i think its fitting. none of that rlly matters to anyone here tho

art infodump warning

anyway this brush. comes with a few similar brushes pre installed on krita. i think they are downright incredible. you can block out shapes with larger sizes, it makes nice lineart. i tend to go over my lines more than once in a single stroke, so it works well with my style of lines. you can alternate and find a mix between curved lines that will fold against itself (controlled thick lines) and straight lines that stay at a constant thickness. i feel like i use this brush as a crutch because im bad at maintaining the pen pressure i like. this is like having pen-pressure influenced line size without the need to be articulate with the pressure of the pen, and instead your ability to control the pen. im bad at controlling the pressure of the pen. i always make the lines too thick, too thin, but especially when making curved lines i fumble and the thickness varies beyond what i wanted. i figure if i just practiced with pen pressure then i probably wouldnt like these brushes as much, because then i could achieve the same lineart affect with less time without the brush. absolutely none of that is important.

the brush is on krita along with the other brushes. krita is free on pc. i have it for windows. i used to have it on an old laptop but it crashed all the time. i recently learned that each layer takes up an amount of RAM, which now is more obvious. it can be assumed that the laptop was just overworked from my own choices of the.. colour space? idk what its called. the engine that makes up the colour, per layer, uses an amount of RAM. my laptop didnt have a lot, and i was using the animation feature which is maybe more resource consuming. what i am saying is, i really enjoy krita and would recommend it, but if u have a low end device keep in mind

[asakamasanobu]

// nonsense ahead im incoherent

life update — my life is in flames! okay actually it’s not i’m just being dramatic but So Much has been happening including 1) me relying on ricchan and asaka to have the courage to have a silly little dream again 2) my dream getting crushed like a week later LOLOL 3) me rereading bits of otrfk for therapy and then getting Insane asaka insights that i really want to type out and probably will one day when i have time bc i cry to myself thinking about how similar we are but also how much i want to be like him 4) me downloading dick and balls game to # get over being crushed and unfortunately enjoying it more than i thought i would and now playing it nonstop oh no (for the record olivine is my beloved he is so ughehwhwhfh i want to SCREAM about him somewhere but i try to keep my accounts sfw so ..... also yes it’s bc he’s repressed as fuck and whenever i see a gay repressed mf like ricchan asaka and now olivine i Grab them and this tangent has gone on for so long fack) and finally ..... 5) me feeling like i can’t face ritsu rn bc i feel so bad about not being able to pursue things as 真っ直ぐ as he does (does not know how to translate in the most apt way but that’s him) head in hands

IT’S SO SILLY THO i realise i always do this same song and dance when i need him most but hate myself and feel like i shouldn’t rely on him in a state like this .... but it’s just that i am a ~ pussy ~ and could only psych myself up for something i wanted badly but was terrified of by relying on him and now that i fell through ...... i feel so guilty and about the fact that i failed even when relying on him. yeah it’s for the silliest reasons like i want to go kyoto prefecture bc of him specifically and also redacted bc of him and if i said it to my friends they would’ve just made fun of me bc they don’t understand the emotional gravity of his existence on me (or maybe they do but will still find my motivations dumb anyway which i kind of don’t want to deal with LOL) and how much he pushes me on when i’m scared and uncertain so now i feel like i can’t live up to his legacy and do the things that he inspired me to T___T i guess it’s not even my fault that i couldn’t go run after my dreams at full force and i braced myself for it so it didn’t hurt that much ...... i think instead of blaming myself for choosing something unrealistic i should be proud of myself for daring to step out of my comfort zone for once ........ for wanting to follow in his and asaka’s footsteps and wanting to become a better person ........ and even if it didn’t materialise, taking that step was something that i could only do bc of him and i shouldn’t hold failure against myself ....... hghwhehw oh god somehow typing that out really helped me process my feelings about that even though it’s been more than a week ;__; maybe i will go poke poke my volume 16 again bc i’ve been so focused on the fact that i couldn’t live up to the strength of my number one emotional support man that i didn’t realise that in a sense i did too ...... weh (also it feels so bad to admit that i’m holding myself back from him bc it sounds insane but it’s precisely bc i love him so much and hold him to such a high standing that i don’t want to burden him at my weakest . ok that sounds even more insane but LISTEN 

ok i was not expecting to finally have processed my emotions and overcome my guilt and regrets on this bus ride UMMMM I HAD SOMETHING ELSE I WANTED TO SAY OH YES i was thinking how ironic it is that this happened in the same time frame as my emotional breakdown last sem like literally i got the bad news on like the same day or maybe one day before i got emotionally fucked over and realising i managed to get through week 8 this sem without suffering was like wah ..... bitch you’ve grown !!!!! i think growth isn’t very visible most of the time which is why i don’t think i’ve grown that much since then especially since this time i was prepared for rejection unlike last time but when i made it through tuesday — where one semester ago i was just throwing up and crying the whole day # real # embarrassing # sorry for oversharing — without doing that and being completely normal i was really just ..... at peace. like i’m glad i got the closure i got from meeting asaka and knowing that no matter what life throws me i probably won’t go through such intense misery again and even if i do, i can pick myself up .... it’s great! it’s also funny that around that same time i was skirting around relying on ricchan until i did and he made me feel a lot better about my pathetic little self so maybe i haven’t grown that much in how i am a little (2&3?2&2 about relying on him but needing to at the same time u__u

in conclusion i think even if i can’t fly far, i’ll still continue on working on becoming a better person — someone who is strong enough to live up to ritsu and asaka and their legacies. maybe it’s silly to live your life wanting to be as strong and kind as some fictional mfs, but they’ve really pushed me to do things i would never have dared to do, even if they don’t come true. and i wish i had the time and energy to record down this past week in depth but alas uni is kicking my ass and kicking it hard! i knew i wouldn’t be able to keep up with my intense essays on my favourite gay media on here once break ended but well . not like i’m not on my gay shit at all (olivine shoutout at the end yet again i love that man)

[bunycube]

I want to hear all your unfiltered thoughts on Madarame. asking for research purposes :)

HAHA OK OK LETS ANSWER THIS IM SO EXCITED reason im late to answering is bcs i was waiting to properly sit down n type out all my thoughts. im so excited. well firstly i hope u like madarame or u prob wont like my thoughts abt him i love him vvvvv much hes my fav sd guy n my second fav route!

tldr i love madarame for his hot looksand voice, his unserious funny nature his genuine care for towa and honest straightforward personality. i jsut rly love him a lot. my man !!!!

ok so b4 i played the game for some reason everyone talked abt him like he wasnthe devil so i was scared of playing his route n i didnt rly have a good impression of him. id even hate on him out of peer pressure. but he was really sexy, i rly liked his arms and. and his tits ok he has nice tits also hes dilfy anf tall i lvoenthat. so i was scared but still he waskind of a guilty pleasure to me JSHFHS THIS IS ALL B4 THE GAME CAME OUT!!! now when i actualy startednplaying i was still dreadimg his route but like i said i found hi mrlyyy sexy. so i was willingnto give him a chance. at fiest i wasnt likingnthe direction the route wa staking tho i wasnt surprised bcs thid is how i expect kidnappernroutes to plsy out. but halfway theough my opinion of him rly chsnged? acrually even b4 thst...hed like actually try to keep towa fed n liek put a blsnket on him n gave him a shower n stuff i didnt liek him yet but i was like hmm 🤔 then then whentowa came back after being let ho by madarame my opniino of himjsut chsnged comoletey. henwas so muchmore chill thani thought n i LVOED his casual dynamic e towa its like yeah thyre violent but u could tell that theyre comfortable n sctually care abt each otger. nad the mroe i played his route the more i lvoed him...my brain is a messnrn so i cant articulate it right !!! i just rly lvoenthe guy!! firstly, i was expecting him to be a villain tyoe so when i found out he didnt scrually kill kaga n was also associated w guyd like mayu eiji kotarou i was v surprised..n everyoen sctuslly liked him? like igarashi n mayu kotsrou n all..so it kinda influenced my opinion too i think. also i jsut yhink madarame is so unserious and fun and neat nsbfbd. i rly do love his dynamic w towa i love how. yk usually in this type of route the mc ends up beigm rly submissive but w madarames route that seems to be the opposite of what he wants n he wsnts towa to have soem life bsck in him hes disappinted in how dead insife hes become. n by the end they rly do feel like equals to me!!@ and i just. love how their dynamic id unconventional yet they still care deeply abt each othef ghrrhrhd lime. madarame has such a fuck the past attitude yet he kept the photo n the lgihter n came bsck for towa. ALSOOO i lthink madarame is a v honest person and he doesnt hide things which is one of the main reasons he appealed to me also him not having ulterior motives like greed power momey itnwas kindanrefreshing he was jsut living his life in the moment. i rly like that mindset im trying to adopt it myself since it makes me worry lesshfhdjs. i cantnrly explain why but hes also weirdly comforting to me. i think hesnrly funny as well i lvoe when towas like hey why r we doing this (bodyguard disguise thign) n madarames like i think its funny so i devised an elaborate scheme >:3 HESNSO SILLYYYYY AH. ANDMANWNRNFHFHE AND AND IDKKKK HE JEUT HAS RLY NICE VIBES I LOVE HIM SM I PROB HAVE MORE THOUGHTS BUT I DONT WANT TO BORE U ONE DAY ILL WRITE A PROPER ESSAY ON HIM but yeah

ok editing to add a lil more i also love how hes surprisingly the modt. stable? ksfbdbd out of all of them somehowww and also that he managesnto be duch a neat charndespite hid past never being revealed in the route. i rky liked that n it felt like an intentional choice thag fits hid character!!*$&$& i jst lovr the guy.

as for flaws im sure he has plenty i think he is kind of manipulative for drivign a wedge between towa n taku like that he also knows more thsn he lets on (points to the msnsion in fujiedas route) and im not sure why he kidnapped towa in the first place was it fro the drama or like .what. but i still love him those flaws aside and included sjfbsb i love him!!@ thats all!!!

[shotosprincess]

♡ dating the bnha boys — hcs

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

➪ shoto todoroki

pls you’ve prolly been terrified of him for a while prior bc of how ?? talented ?? the mf is ??

but mans prolly saved you at some point and there was this lingering stare you two shared before he left you at recovery girls’ office; were you reading too far into things ?

spoiler alert: you weren’t.

anYWAYS-

he’s the kind of boyfriend to tenderly brush your hair for you and attempt to learn how to tie and braid your hair up in cute ,, simple designs !!

he’d always be ready with little things you’re constantly forgetting; extra snacks,, water,, a fully charged portable charger ,, trust me when i say that man is pREPARED- after all ,, he needs to be ready with everything to take care of his little sweetheart ,, does he not ?

ONLY TWO POINTS IN AND IM ALREADY CRYING BC I LOVE HIM SM BYE BYE BYE

at some point he’d find you sitting on the roof by yourself late at night,, only to stay with you and let you fall asleep on his chest as he drapes a blanket over you and heats it up a lil with his quirk

OKAY YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THAT MAN WOULDNT HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU AT ALL TIMES AND WOULD SOMETIMES EVEN GET LOWKEYHIGHKEY KINDA SAD WHEN YOU DONT LET HIM

prolly bc he just wants to prove to you that he can be useful

pls just let the man know he’s useful and important he never shows it directly but he needs the reassurance—

he’d give you a warm massage w his quirk whenever you’re in pain :”)

HIDES AND PROTECTS YOU FROM MINETA BC HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHAT THAT LITTLE SHIT FANTASIZES ABOUT

loves heating//cooling things for you ,, like instant noodles or ice packs !!

surprises you w jewelry that have his initials on them !!

GIVES THE BEST CUDDLES I SWEAR

would hold an umbrella for u while you loop your arm into his as the two of you walk home through the light rain :”)

cries into your chest sometimes after youve fallen asleep bc it’s late nights like these when he reflects on just how lucky of a guy he is to have you— it’s hard for him to articulate it directly ,, but when he does fully open up to you ab it ,, you end up crying too .

WOULD 110% MAKE THE TWO OF YOU YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIL ICE RINK AND TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATE // DO FUN FIGURE SKATING DUOS WITH YOU

➪ katsuki bakugou

prolly got with you initially bc of a dare ( and he nEVER passes up a dare ) ,, but eventually those feelings started to become real and honestly ? it kinda scared the shit outta him . he didn’t know why ,, but for some reason he didnt actually want to leave .

OKAY LARA JEAN AND PETER MF KAVINSKY TYPE BEAT ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ HIT US WITH THE FAKE RELATIONSHIP TO REAL RELATIONSHIP TROPE YESYESYES

teasingly-mean nicknames = his love language . enough said .

AGGRESSIVE !! KISSES !! ALL !! THE DAMN !! TIME !!

makes you wear his hoodie whenever you show even the sLIGHTEST hint at being cold

he just rly wants to see you in his clothes

he’s so clueless on how to do this whole boyfriend thing ,, but he’s definitely trying bc it’s for you :”)

watches and tries so desperately to copy all the cute couples in the movies you guys watch together

“ roses...do you want roses ? “ “ what ? “ “ the guy in the movie gave her roses...do you want roses too ? “

but at the end of the day you just appreciate him for who he is and that’s more than enough for you :”)

PLS DENKI AND KIRI ARE CONSTANTLY SHOCKED AT HOW MUCH HE’S TRYING FOR YOU

will take any and every opportunity to show off his strength and quirk to you <3

now we all know this man gets jealous hella easily ,, and its no different w relationships :”) he’d constantly make it a point to hold you extra close to him in public ,, show you off on social media and call you by a nickname//petname whenever possible just to reiterate to ppl the fact that you’re his and he’s yours

WOULD LET YOU SIT ON HIS LAP AND DO HIS EYELINER AT 2AM PURELY BC YOU GOT BORED

pls i could rly see myself doing that i wont lie

honestly sometimes he forgets himself and his temper gets a little out of hand ,, but the second he sees his feral reflection in your fearful eyes,, he pulls you to his chest and apologizes profusely :”))

➪ denki kaminari

MF PROLLY GOT WITH YOU BC OF A RIGGED GAME OF SPIN THE BOTTLE AT MINA’S PLACE I CANNOT SEE ANYTH HAPPENING OTHERWISE

one tiny kiss turned into two ,, which turned into three ,, and before you knew it ,, the both of you were spilling out the pent up feelings you had for one another all this time—

mina never shuts up ab it ,, she’s so proud of her matchmaking skills

when the power goes out during a storm ,, he holds onto you tight and plays w your hair as he uses his quirk to turn things back on ,,, “ shhh it’s ok,, i’m here “

will do anything and everything to make you smile <3

he has a lil album in his camera roll with all his favourite pictures of you ,, which is practically just all of them tbh ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

HE LOVES SHOWING YOU OFF IN THE MOST WHOLESOME WAY POSSIBLE !!

super energetic n bubbly but at the end of your dates he passes out right away in your arms

you make sure to wrap him up in blankets and give him an overload of kisses after he’s rly asleep though

will work embarrassingly hard to win you stuffed animals at the fair !! it doesn’t always work ,, but it’s cute nontheless <3

some of the staff and children at the fairs get pissed off but oh well ,,, what you do for love

pls he prolly makes you lil bento boxes for lunch every now and then ( ESPECIALLY DURING EXAM WEEK ) w tiny notes and designs taped on them

constantly calls you “ shawty “ lowkey un ironically and dice rolls in ur direction whenever he sees you ,,, you just end up laughing and playfully punching him

I JUST KNOW HE DOES THE F BOY LIP BITE FACE CONSTANTLY

ITS AN ADDICTION FOR HIM I SWEAR

SUPER CLINGY BUT IN THE CUTEST WAY AAAA

LIL STICKY NOTE LOVE LETTERS FROM HIM IN YOUR LOCKER EVERY !! MF !! DAY !!!

you both agreed that at home cozy netflix dates w microwave popcorn and fuzzy blankets >>> movie theatre dates

110% made a playlist for you at some point when he crushed on you from afar and shared it w you after you started dating

he made a collaborative playlist for yall AND multiple playlists of songs that remind him of you afterwards

pls i just kNOW this man’s love language is making playlists

theyre prolly all categorized by mood or smth too w the cutest covers ever pls

➪ ejirou kirishima

you initially met him bc he was hella upset and alone this one time and you were the only one to notice and be there for him bc he ran away from everyone else to hide the “ uNmanLy “ tears :”))

takes you w him on his lil gym visits ,, hypes you up with every little thing u accomplish !!

constantly teasing bakugou with how he’s able to pull you and how lucky he is to have you

bakugou gets hella annoyed most of the time and just blasts him away-

idk bro i just feel like kiri prolly calls you “ adorable “ alot i wont lie-

LOVES HAND HOLDING,, takes any opportunity to hold ur hand and trace lil casual patterns across your knuckles w his thumb

sometimes he’ll even draw lil hearts on your hand

play fighting but sometimes the two of you get too carried away and he actually loses half of the time-

LATE NIGHT GAME NIGHTS WITH HIM AND THE BAKUSQUAD,, he loves being on the team against you so he can get all competitive

OK HEAR ME OUT;;;; DANCE BATTLES W HIM AS YOUR PARTNER AGAINST RANDOM PPL AT PARTIES

mans gets hella insecure ab himself sometimes ,, so he loves doing lil things for you !! opening a can ,, pulling the blanket over you ,, zipping up your jacket <33

STOP WAIT THATS SO CUTE BYE I WANT THAT

lets you dye his hair—THATS HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS YOU BYE

pls yall prolly aggressively play wii sports and just dance against one another on a regular basis;; it’s literally your thing and you cannot tell me otherwise ahjdjfj

pls i just KNOW this man’s an overly passionate wii player

will wrap his arms around your waist and hug u from behind as you make breakfast

WOULD WEAR MATCHING EARRINGS W YOU IF ITS FOR YOU

slow dances in the living room at midnight w you !!

eventually as you spent more time together ,,, you were able to change his idea of “ manliness “ ,, and he was able to realize that manliness is not equivalent to stoicism and that expressing ur feelings is still totally manly and totally valid !! <33

[seyvetch]

Fuck Im certaintly not of like completely sound mind rn

The intrusive thoughts (esp self harm) and like anger issues are up and I think Im a bit delusional

Gonna be talking about those things further so if not a fan you should probably not read that and sorry idk how to do the under the line thing on mobile so yeah

Sent a meme into a meme chat themed to the campeign Im playing in DMs discord server related to a topic that was discussed in the vc during the session by the players which I thought was funny and DM was upset with it which is totally fair I wont go into details and gave my character a negative modifier to hit which wont impact the character too much but the whole situation just fucking making me go crazy a bit. Once again I didnt think things through and upset a friend. Once again Im making dumb mistakes and I hate myself so much for this it just makes me want to bang my head at a wall or cut myself or hurt myself in other ways bc intrusive thoughts and bc I feel so fucking pathetic and awful bc no matter what I do I always screw up no matter how much percieved smarts I have in some areas like programming Im still a moron. And then I hear my intrusive thoughts to get angry at my friend for that even tho I know that was fair on his part and that Im overreacting due to being in an unhealthy mindset atm and I hate myself even more for even thinking that.

Thankfully Im able to resist the intrusive thoughts rn Im aware enough for that but I dont think Im clear minded enought to talk with much sense cuz I also think Im a bit delusional rn and I cant articulate my thoughts properly as well.

Anyway I dont blame anyone but myself for this tbh I can recognise that Im in a bad mental state and am overeacting. So yeah if the DM is reading this sorry

I feel a bit better I just needed to vent a bit not to anyone in perticular just write down my thoughts, maybe organise them a bit, better understand what Im feeling and junk.

[anti-catradora-receipts]

I really had to see someone say catra didnt abuse adora bc she "didnt have a position of power" over her. And claimed that i "didnt know what abuse was". Well i guess the abuse that ive been through in relationships (platonic and romantic), that has often been like catra/adoras dynamic, wasnt abuse huh. Guess im not an abuse victim after all by that logic

Dear anon,

Firstly, I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry for everything you’ve been through. And I’m really sorry that someone tried to invalidate your experiences with abuse. I really hope you’re doing okay and taking care of yourself.

Secondly, I disagree with the person’s statement of “catra didnt abuse adora bc she "didnt have a position of power" over her.” That’s false. 

Catra admits to manipulating Adora during the show. And this article talks about manipulation in a relationship and how manipulation is all about power and control. I extracted some parts of the article and placed it right below (within the quotation marks): 

“People who manipulate use mental distortion and emotional exploitation to influence and control others. Their intent is to have power and control over others to get what they want.

A manipulators knows what your weaknesses are and will use them against you. This will keep happening unless you actively and assertively put a stop to it. That said, it is not always easy.”

Next, this article is from the perspective of a victim of abuse after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. The author of the article wanted to better understand their past abusive relationship and shared the insights that they gained from reading the book, ‘Power Games: Confronting Others’ Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own by Kay Douglas and Dr Kim McGregor’. I feel that the article illustrates in depth the enormous power imbalance between Catra and Adora and I extracted some parts of the article and put it below (within the double quotations): 

“After leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, I found myself needing to understand what had happened. Like most people who leave a volatile situation I was, quite simply, unable to process and articulate what was wrong. Apart from being incredibly vulnerable, I was also just too close to my own situation to see it objectively.

So I decided to read Power Games: Confronting Others’ Hurtful Behaviour and Transforming Our Own by Kay Douglas and Dr Kim McGregor. What I found was a wealth of information confirming what I couldn’t express or even see for myself. Here are some choice insights from the book, as well as some of my own thoughts*:

1. Control is always at the heart of a power game. The need to assert control will usually involve undermining and/or discrediting another to achieve our own ends. For example, we are using power games when we:

bully or intimidate someone into agreeing with our demands;

bait and provoke others through disturbing statements or actions and then claim they’re being over-sensitive/emotional, crazy or irrational (known as gaslighting); 

...

engage in name calling, put-downs, harsh criticism or threats.

2. Manipulators are not concerned with taking responsibility for their decisions/behaviours/feelings. Instead, they create a smokescreen by shifting the focus or blame to others. And consequently, the other party must assume the responsibility for making the situation ‘better’. If the other party is a ‘good’ person, they will comply with whatever demands are issued (peace at any price). As soon as they resist, however, the manipulator is likely to go on the attack.

3. For the receiver, cumulative exposure to such tumult may reduce self-esteem and increase anxiety, resentment and fear. Receivers will experience intense emotional reactions and may end up interpreting these as proof they are selfish, unbalanced, over-sensitive and unreasonable. They may lose their sense of self; either over-compensating to ‘get it right’ and ‘be better’ or even adopting manipulative tactics against others.

...

4. For the receiver, regaining personal power starts with a shift in one’s thinking. More specifically, an acknowledgement that the manipulator must take responsibility for their feelings and behaviours and any future change. It is accepting that the dynamic needs to change and learning to distinguish between real and manufactured guilt. It is constructing and defending boundaries and a willingness to listen to what anger is trying to say. It is the ability to cut through the smokescreen tactics and see the situation clearly. It is the ability to speak one’s truth and articulate one’s feelings. It is honouring the self. And, sometimes, this will mean leaving.

What I learned is that while not everyone who feels inadequate is a manipulator, every manipulator feels inadequate. So do we all, I know. But, what sets manipulators apart is the way they consistently and systematically re-distribute this inadequacy onto others.

...

What I also learned is that by disengaging I was not giving up, but that I was actively saying ‘I am worth more than this’.”

On a personal note, I just wanted to point out some additional reasons I see a huge power imbalance between Catra and Adora:

- The fact that Catra was completely okay with controlling Adora and Catra was not willing to give up her control of Adora.

- The fact that Adora seems to be the one who is constantly scared of Catra. At the present moment, I can only remember two scenes when Catra is scared of Adora: when Adora gets corrupted and attacks Catra at the beginning of White Out (S2E5), and when Adora gives Catra “The Look” at the end of The Portal (S3E6) . In addition, take a look at this scene. Adora honestly believes that Catra is going to kill her:

- The fact that Catra is completely okay with taking away Adora’s power. In the following scene, Catra doesn’t even see Adora as a person but as a tool. Catra literally states that they’ll use the corrupted sword in order to control Adora and use Adora as an advantage for the Horde. Catra even states that she’ll control Adora to kill Adora’s own friends. That is unbelievably sick. Moreover, Catra was completely okay with controlling Adora’s choices and actions. In fact, this scene supports the fact that Catra was completely okay with taking away Adora’s freedom. 

And honestly, there are some stark similarities between the previous scene with Catra and the following scene with Shadow Weaver. Shadow Weaver was ready to take away Adora’s power and use Adora as a tool against the Rebellion. 

I’d also like to point out that what Catra was willing to do to Adora, Horde Prime had actually done to Catra in S5. Catra’s power and freedom was taken away by Horde Prime and Horde Prime controlled Catra to attack Adora. The fact that Horde Prime took away Catra’s power and freedom was cruel and despicable. And the fact that Catra was willing to take away Adora’s power and freedom is cruel and despicable. 

Moreover, Adora ended up with Catra, a person who was perfectly okay with taking away Adora’s freedom and power. 

That is absolutely vile.

Finally I just want to add that my pinned post titled “Catra abused Adora.” has hyperlinks to resources relating to abuse:

- The Emotional Abuse section is reviewed by professionals. 

- The Physical Abuse section is provided by an online mental health service in Australia.

And these resources confirm that Catra emotionally and physically abuses Adora. 

In conclusion, you are right to say that Catra abuses Adora. Again, I’m really sorry that someone tried to invalidate your experiences with abuse. And I really hope you know that your feelings about Catradora are completely valid. 

I genuinely hope you’re talking care of yourself. Seriously, please make sure you check in with yourself and prioritize some self-care. 

Thank you very much for sharing. ✨

[dilliebar]

gay censorship rant

hyperfixation rant belowww ignore or read idc

Listen I've said this a million times but one censorship TRAVESTY I will never forgive is Jon Avnet making Ruth and Idgie straight while the actresses desperately pushed for as much affection that they were allowed to show. If you're telling the people who know the characters best and even the person who wrote the characters to "tOnE dOwN tHe gAy" how do you not realize you're in the wrong.

He said he didn't want to make the movie "political", but even for the early 1990's, that's some bs. Someone's existence/orientation is not political, it's homophobia and censorship like this that makes it political. Heck, the gay liberation movement in America happened in the 60's and 70's, I'd say 20 years is about long enough to accept that gay people exist.

And no I will not be hearing "tHeY dIdNt kiSs iN tHe bOoK" bc Fannie Flagg literally wanted them to be together in the movie and even said in the sequel that they were more than "just best friends". And to continue the madness, the dude even said that he wasn't going to read the original book of the movie he was directing until his coworker practically forced him to (special feats. interview).

The thing that makes me so angry about this too is that Fried Green Tomatoes as a lesbian coming-of-age story could've been so helpful to LGBT+ youth, and even though the actresses and the author wanted to portray a lesbian couple in the movie, they had to settle for sneaking in little suggestive moments because "gay ruin our patriarchy"

YOU COULD'VE HAD LESBIAN TITANIC

If I could go back in time and direct this myself I would.

"After Ellen" article (2008) with Mary Louise-Parker that I'm referencing bc censorship makes me angry:

AE: Do you ever wish — I know this is a long time ago, but do you ever wish the story line on Fried Green Tomatoes was a little bit more — MLP: Yes! Well, in some ways I do. I tried to make it a little bit more articulated at the time, but they didn't really want to go that way. And in some ways I wish that it was, and then in some ways I think maybe the audience wouldn't have gone there, so I don't know — I have very mixed feelings about it. Because I tried — I really tried to push it at the time, and they didn't want to go there with me.

AE: Who didn't want to go there? MLP: [emphatically] No one.

AE: Not even your co-star? MLP: Oh no, Mary Stuart did, Fannie Flagg did, but not the director, not the producer, nobody else.

AE: Wow, OK. MLP: But I was really trying to push it, and they were like [shakes head].

[yyxgin]

as quick as love alarm was progressing compared to other dramas i’ve seen (usually wait ten eps for the first kiss and that’s it) it still seemed,, idk important for the story? n e way.

meteor garden is insanely messy like in the final episode daoming si just mentions everything dong shancai did that makes her so amazing and i honestly forgot they even did some of their things 😳 at one point they went to london and filmed in china town and i was just like ‘oh. i know that place’ and didn’t clock after that 😭

I GOT PEN ON THE BACK OF IT IM SO MAD AT MYSELF ✋✋✋✋✋ but come find me anyway lmao i got a changbin & minho film strip 🤪 can’t have anything nice around here and i learned my lesson the hard way.

i went through a phase when whenever i watched english tv i was like ‘why does this make sense without subs..’ and would be like squinting at the screen until it occurred to me that it was in english.

oh bruh i remember making a bank account the second summer bc my employer was like why tf do you not have a bank account ,, yeesh people had been paying by card for meals and stuff and not cash like the year before. so i made one and then she paid me in cash bc people started paying w cash 😐😑😐😑 i waitress so even though i get anxious about other things, i’m comfortable about waitressing so i am super nice to everyone. i am the designated person who orders for everyone (as long as you point at what you want in case i can’t remember everything i will say it). i know how important it is to be articulated to your server bc if they f up you get mad and they get mad bc ur mad and the chef gets mad bc the server f-ed up and the chef has to cook again and it’s a never ending circle of wishing you’d just gone somewhere else and i hate that. i also get mad at my fam when we go out bc the last time we went out (literally like two years ago now bc covid) there was a guy serving at this place we’re fairly frequent at and i was like maybe he’s training don’t be so mad at him for forgetting things just gently remind him! don’t cuss him out behind his back! there’s so much pressure about not pissing off your colleagues bc there’s a groove they’ve got and you’re just there not wanting to ruin it whilst also meeting customers needs!!

ive been waiting to pass my drivers test for over a year now bc covid has pushed it back and back and back again 😐 i finally get my next test date and i have to ask a different instructor for their car bc my instructor is on annual leave when my test is scheduled. i’m holding it together so i can ask an instructor, buy a car and yeet. the bus is okay but i need my own space sometimes.

i am good w my money im the jungkook of the working class. if there are pots and pans on the go i will take them. free food? count me in. i do have that broke b*tch mindset. although i don’t buy $300 white tshirts i will spend $200 on a day out 😃 and sis,, buy whichever one you like bc of the concept!! it’s always fun seeing the posters (personally i don’t put them up bc how am i gonna have sir johnny suh STARING at me while i get changed,, no THANK YOU) i’ll cry if i ever pull a yuta card bc he looks ✨spicy✨ in all of them.

i think i get what you’re saying about gg’s! boy groups have a wider range. eg, haechan hits those high notes and jeno/mark rap/sing quite low but girl groups can’t. unfortunately i feel like they rely on visuals heavier bc they don’t have the same range bg’s do. itzy are good!! i personally haven’t listen to a lot/watched a lot of their mv’s. i’m more into red velvet for their mv’s. im terrible at watching content so i am slowly working through bts’ content, monsta x’s content and ocassionally nct’s content. im gonna work on mamamoo next 🤞fake fans unite 😔✊✨

it’s so easy to feel invisible here. don’t worry. i’m here to brighten your day! much like a sunflower ~ 🌻

I cant really speak about the importance of the kiss in love alarm since i didnt watch more than the first ep, but i will trust you if you really say so ?? 😳 I WANNA WATCH METEOR GARDEN JUST FOR THE DRAMA DHSNSK

dude dont fucking test me i WILL find your address and i WILL visit you in your sleep and steal all your kpop stuff. MINHO FILM STRIP ??????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

i still watch english things w eng subtitles sometimes bc my first language isn't english so just in case i dont hear something i can always read it you know djsksk

this is my first job so i didnt have to have bank account before but now that i have it i feel very adult😩✋i am so old. i dont like it.

oh no i hate people that arent polite to waitresses like they are just doing their job and its so hard and stressful and i dont want to make their life harder so im just really anxious abt everything in my life ever.

i'm rooting for you on your driving test !! lets hope you make it after such a long time <3

JUNGKOOK OF THE WORKING CLASS NO- thats actually me. also free samples. give me all of them. also i think its completely justified to spend so much on a night out since its for the memories !! #yolo am i right

I AM SO TEMPTED TO ORDER THE ALBUM NOW 😭💔😭 i actually have my posters on my closet and i change inside the actual closet at all times bc me and my brother share a room, so no one's looking at me thankfully haha. well, i do have bts pics on the warderobe next to my bed as well so they watch me sleep every night but we dont talk about that. YUTA CARD i would cry. he for sure does look spicy half the time of his life.

i dont know that many rv songs (the audacity, i know) but seulgi... ah. i watched the sm new years concert and when she appeared i couldnt keep my eyes off her. i should really listen to more of their songs so if u have any recs i am all ears

thank you for brightening up my day sunflower ily mwah😔❤

[dilsdoes]

idek how to articulate the problem it just feels so big and so much that when i think about how much everything hurts, how kuch i hate myself, how many people just straight up told me that its my job specifically to make sure my mother is happy by not failing im school and being a perfect student and just kinda yelled at me while i was just sittin there. cryin. just sobbin. and then i like tell my mom hey i feel like my greatest failure is being a human persom capable of making mistakes bc of the expectations place on me :P and shes like well thats based on nothing bc ive never done that so no one did that to u n im just kinda :/ man idk being screamed at for dissociating in front of everyone specifically for your sake at the tender age of 11 feels like it fucks you up loool.

and also its like my mom does this thing where she asks me a q and before ive even actually heard it she moves on and i realised that its like one of those things where its happening and you feel normal and then it stops and you feel like a person for the first time. like when i got hit by a bus they didnt give me a sling and my mom looked at me and was like "hang on you need a sling" and i was like what? no im fine. it hurts but not that much and then she gave me a sling and i literally started crying at the relief. like leaving my house and being in a conversation where people like wait for me to actually hear and respond and dont get annoyed makes me feel like a real person instead of gods worst mistake.

so i just want nothing more than 2 rip my ribs and spine and bones out of my body or scratch off the skin from my back and arms and scream until my throat is raw and throw up and do whatever it takes to get everything human out of me so i can stop being a disappointment to everyone all the time xx i would love it if i like didnt feel pain or emotions so like if i feel uncomfortable when my sister opens my door without waiting for me to invite her in, no i dont 💖 oh my mom insulted the thing i was super excited about to my face? well now i cant get upset about it for her 2 tell me it doesnt make sense. "it doesnt make sense for you to be upset about this" well now i dont have stinkie feelings anymore. no more illogical emotions i can just be a lean mean clean machine that doesnt get tired or bored or hurt or sad or anything. i can just be what everyone wants me to be and if i cant because its logically impossible then its not my fault.

every time i start crying no matter what someone always asks "why are you crying" and if i say i dont know theyre like "that doesnt make sense" so i just pick from a bag all the reasons i have to cry so they dont tell me to stop so i dont feel guilty when i inevitably cant. that was very useful when i spontaneously burst into tears throughout secondary school. like every time no matter what theud be like "theres no reason to cry" and id be like well now i am dumb i guess haha