#i feel like a new person again. a persona 3 obsession followed right after by this?!?!?!!!! ive never felt as alive as

[immamapletreekid]

once again impressed at just how quickly a new piece of media can take over my waking hours

[softinkshadows]

Shingeki no Kyojin Astrology: sun-moon-rising combinations

I was looking around tumblr for detailed astrology speculations of my fave anime characters, but there aren't that many! Being q well-versed in astro myself, i thought why not do my own version (very spoiler-free, don’t worry)! I followed the birth dates given by isayama:

Eren Jaeger - Aries sun, Scorpio moon, Cancer rising Aside from the fact that he can be hotheaded and impulsive, Eren's feelings of vengeance run deep and explosive. Remember that time he was chained to the bed after the attack on trost, and his eyes were wild with the need to violently eradicate all titans? He's so tenacious and emotionally stubborn too (a Scorp moon trait) to the point of being closed off from everyone else, especially towards the end where he seems to take the weight of the world's burden on his own shoulders. And all for the sake of protecting his community and ensuring the safety of his friends for the rest of their lives. His comrades and family are his motivation. This is his Cancer rising steering his life.

Mikasa Ackerman - Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Aries rising "Look that moody brat is running off on her own again." Mikasa is similar to Eren in her impulsiveness and determination, but different in two ways- what they aim to protect and their extent of fearlessness. Eren is aware of his own weaknesses and helplessness, but Mikasa's amazing physical prowess makes her act without any hesitation at all. She's hella fierce and driven to keep herself in shape too, doing all those sit-ups and chopping firewood post-injury. I think she deserves a double Aries! An Aries rising means a Libra descendant too, which is reflected her whole-hearted devotion in her close partnerships (Eren and Armin). Her aquarius moon really shines thru with her stoic independence, focus and perseverance.

Armin Arlet - Scorpio sun, Virgo moon, Pisces rising He's the brain of the 104th cadet corps, and is second to Erwin in terms of strategy! An intelligent planner with low self-esteem often found second guessing his own analytical abilities, Armin is a true blue Virgo moon. His emotional self stands out the most from the main three protagonists - Eren & Mikasa mostly express anger and desperation, whereas Armin is usually shrouded in fear and worry. He's a very soft bb, hence the Pisces rising, not to mention he gets so dreamy imagining the sea, the vast plains, and the magical world beyond the walled universe he knows. A spiritually-attuned and curious explorer :")

Levi Ackerman - Capricorn sun, Scorpio moon, Virgo rising Levi is such a complex person, thanks to Isayama's brilliance. Like many Cap suns, Levi is authoritative, cold and incredibly savage. That's not to say he doesn't feel anything either. Levi is an evolved Scorp moon (maybe even moon in 11th house) because his feelings are never for himself, but he hurts so much for others - you can tell every death hits him so hard, but he doesn't show this to anyone else. He also exudes this quietly intimidating aura of natural competence, a common characteristic of this sun-moon combo. He can take things personally as well (re: height issues) but it never snowballs into more than passing irritation. The turbulence of his emotions and habit for violence is balanced out by his earthy Virgo rising, which is emotionally subdued, quite thin and delicate in physique, and super neurotic and nitpicky when it comes to cleanliness and health. Cap, Virgo and Scorp are some of the most guarded signs, and a combi of all 3 are hellish. You can tell this poor beautiful man is always caught between feeling and thinking, between maintaining his humanity and forsaking it.

Erwin Smith - Libra sun, Capricorn moon, Leo rising In another life, Erwin Smith would be the damn CEO of a global conglomerate because he oozes so much charisma. Hell if charisma were energy Erwin Smith would be its prime, eternally renewable source. His stature alone is so commanding, and I find some strong Leonine traits in his thickset physique, strong eyebrows, beautiful hair, and that way he shouted in full glory atop wall Rose in that one episode to the cheering masses below. He might be a Libra sun, diplomatic in political affairs, but his Capricorn moon is what drives his decisions. Cap moon has a rep for being cold and unemotional, but i believe they are way more than that! Cap moons rarely boast about their long list of achievements, instead looking forward to the next goal. They struggle with emotional expression, and are super driven and disciplined. Erwin is capable of making the hardest decisions, putting aside emotions to strive for an abstract ideal, and this is to be expected of the commander who takes on the role of the devil.

Hange Zoe - Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon, Gemini rising All hail our favourite mad scientist!! Hange is such a breath of fresh air in the Survey Corps, balancing out the heaviness of missions with their wacky tales of titan research and experimentation. Their penchant for study and higher knowledge is typical of a Sagittarius moon, who is drawn to advanced academic study and spiritual truths. It's also a lighthearted and optimistic sign, true to Hange's upbeat personality. The Virgo in them contributes to their sheer intelligence and obsessiveness with research subjects. We also know they LOVE to talk, and once Eren asks Hange about experiments, they cannot stop (Gemini governs communication). Virgo, Sag and Gemini are the most intellectual signs, and because they are mutuable Hange tends to follow orders rather than give them, making it difficult to adapt to their new role towards the end of the series. Mutable signs also means rapidly-changing emotional states, and a whole lot of chaos, which suits our beloved squad leader.

Jean Kirstein - Aries sun, Virgo moon, Taurus rising Our third Aries on the list ohmygod. The snk universe is full of feisty hotheads. Jean is always seen clashing with Eren, fuelled by Eren's closeness with Mikasa and his own adorable jealousy. I mean, they had a full on fist fight right after dinner in the mess hall, although everything went downhill after the first few punches. Our first impression of Jean during his cadet days is coloured by his desire to work in the interior, and this favour for material safety and wealth is perhaps common to a Taurus rising. Also, Taurus is ruled by Venus, planet of beauty and harmony, and thus often figures in the charts of artists. If you've seen Jean's drawing skills in that special episode, you'll know that his artistic abilities are the finest we have seen, exceeding even that of isayama himself. Jean's strong principles such as being averse to killing people and oftentimes cynical nature, is also characteristic of the moral and cautious Virgo moon.

Sasha Braus - Leo sun, Gemini moon, Taurus rising Not all Leos are showmans. Sasha is the type of Leo who displays more of the quirky, unabrashed personality suited to her opposite sister sign Aquarius. Authority doesn't exist when food comes into play, as we see when she breaks potato with Shadis and later steals a slab of meat from the officer's warehouse. Unlike the visual artistry that Jean possesses with his Taurus rising, Sasha's Taurus centers around her love for food, and hell she can have fiery determination for it (rmb the wild night she mistook Jean's hand for meat?). I love that both of them were pitted with each other in that cooking special episode. I considered placing her as a Taurus moon, but Taurus moons are usually steadier and classier in emotion, whereas Sasha is often breezy, gets nervous and chaotic, with stellar intuition, making her likely a Gemini moon.

Connie Springer - Taurus sun, Cancer moon, Gemini rising Although not much attention is paid to Connie's growth, his character development reminds me a lot of Aang from ATLA. Cheery and happy-go-lucky at first, before the incident with his mother made him more prone to feelings of anger and vengeance, especially near the later chapters. His strong protective bond with his mother is what compels me to say he is a Cancer moon, which is a moon sign that is very homebody and drawn to family and traditions. His goofy self and him referring to Sasha as "his twin" puts him as the spunky Gemini rising, another sign he shares with her.

Reiner Braun - Leo sun, Pisces moon, Capricorn rising Aside from his natural leader personality (Leonine), Reiner likes to take on the persona of the big brother of the group. His outward stoicism, decisiveness and task-oriented nature is typical of a Cap rising, who is often serious and solemn in appearance. He reminds me of that Cap rising workaholic who does his best in a corporate organization, working 9 to 5 plus overtime as it fulfills his sense of purpose. Beyond his stoic facade reveals a more troubled personality. Like a Pisces moon, Reiner is impressionable, and it's difficult to tell if his emotions and personalities are his own, wavering and absorbing traits from those around him. His internal war with his identity and the ensuing fatigue characterises him during the second half of the series.

Annie Leonhart - Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising Annie is the kind of Aries that is so motivated to achieve her goals that everything else is sidelined, including her own emotions. She's quite ruthless in chasing her objectives, and her composure, focus and endurance is highlighted with an Aquarius moon. I'm guessing she has a 4th house influence somewhere because of her motivations to go home to her father and lead a normal life. I find the daintiness and delicateness of her features similar to Levi, who is also a Virgo rising. The Virgo effect also registers as a brutal, unfiltered honesty (also seen in Levi), and Annie doesn't hesitate to speak the truth about her own or her opponent's capabilities.

Other characters which I won't go into much detail about:

Bertholdt Hoover - Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, Pisces rising Bertholdt is quiet with an unobtrusive personality. His lack of supposed iniative and aggression can perhaps be attributed to the mutuability of Virgo and Pisces, which goes with the flow instead of charging forward. He keeps his feelings to himself, but reacts when the people he wants to protect are threatened.

Historia Reiss - Capricorn sun, Libra moon, Cancer rising Historia initially lives for the sake of others (esp Ymir), and is more co-dependent than many of her other squadmates. She also tends to put up a front of pleasantness, afraid of disappointing or offending people. She has a strong tie to family, and a profound sense of duty.

Ymir - Aquarius sun, Pisces moon, Aries rising Ymir is extremely astute when it comes to evaluating human behaviour. The religiosity of her background is also usually found in this sun-moon combination, which tends to attract paths of strong spirituality. She also has a bold and noble sacrificial streak for the sake of her companions.

Zeke Jaeger - Leo sun, Capricorn moon, Scorpio rising A headstrong, intelligent and radical character. In a way similar to Erwin in his ruthlessness, but emotionally darker and much more sinisterly private.

Kenny Ackerman - Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon

Rod Reiss - Virgo sun, Libra moon

Dot Pixis - Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon

Hannes - Capricorn sun, Taurus moon

[wannabemobwife]

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas - Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water

Dad!Mob!Tom x Mom!Mob!Reader

-Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Rosie Holland x Henry Osterfield, Rosie Holland x Linus Perry

-Warnings: References to sex, language, typos, sad thoughts, attempted suicide, vomiting

-Words: 4.4K

A/n: Thank you so mucg guys with all the live support. Finally done, yay, with part 1

Chapter 17: Blood is Thicker than Water

Words: 4.4K

Four years had passed and Rosie was the only one to stick around. Everything had changed. You and Tom were currently on your trip around the world. Traveling everywhere from Cuba to Greece. Taking in sights of the world.

Embarking on journey covering 3 continents and 10 countries so far. You had already visited the Taj Mahal in India, the Amalfi Coast for some sun, and Iceland just for the blue lagoon hot springs. You and Tom were having the time of your lives, it being the perfect distraction from everything back home.

Rosie was running the mob along with her new right hand and consigliere, Linus. Rosie had been taking on the mantle as the new leader of the Holland mob. Picking up where Parker left off. Trying to do him justice. Tom had helped her learn the ropes but she always had that fiery personality desired for a mob persona.

After four years, Rosie learned to embrace her grief instead of shoving it away, she began to visit Parker’s grave more and more. Tried to every week, but life got in the way. She would bring a new set of flowers to freshen up the old ones.

She knew today would be especially hard, every year it was impossible. Rosie could barely get through the day. Today was her 20th birthday, marking 4 years of celebrating without Parker.

Rosie and Henry’s relationship had grown into one full of misery. Trapped in a loveless relationship, but he was still her best friend. With just one look he would know what she was thinking.

Over the past couple years, Henry has been so obsessed with keeping her safe that it was driving her mad. Rosie understood that Henry didn’t want to lose her like he lost Parker, but Rosie ran a mob and danger followed her everywhere. They started drifting apart when everything happened with the Holland family, creating unfixable cracks in their foundation.

Lately, Rosie had been feeling someone watching her every move. Following her whenever she would be downtown. Feeling a presence she hasn’t felt in a while. Constantly shivering in fear, feeling as though she was observed. From then on, every move she made was calculated and thought out.

When Rosie first took on the mantle, she cleaned house. Eliminating those whose loyalty would always lie with Tom. Trying to affirm the fact that she was so much more than just Tom’s daughter. She had let William go and few others because she brought in Linus.

Even after starting her new regime, things have been a bit off, lately. She hasn’t been sleeping through the night. She’d jolt out of sleep, drenched in a cold sweat. Henry would be startled awake as well by her movement as move to comfort her.

“Roo, you okay?” Henry asked groggily, yawning a bit. Rosie gasping to catch her breath. Her dreams were supposed to be an escape but now they were doing more harm than good. “I don’t know. I keep having these dreams about Parker. Like he was trying to tell me something,” Rosie said, gathering her bearings. It wasn’t everyday she was visited by her deceased twin brother. “From beyond the grave?…Rosie, he’s gone,” Henry pondered. “I know, I just can’t shake this feeling. That he is… he’s.”

“What? Still alive? Honey, we buried him. You cried over him. If he was still alive don’t you think we would’ve shown his face by now. Wilson and Carter are gone, they have been for awhile now,” Henry explained, hoping it would bring her some solace. Henry wasn’t blind to the change in her demeanor, she did open up to him about being followed everywhere she went. “I guess you’re right. But my dreams feel so real,” Rosie whispered, lying back down. Ready to drift off into a deep sleep. One not tainted by the memory of Parker. “Go, back to sleep baby.” Henry said, he knew they would be getting up in a few hours anyway. Tomorrow was a very big day. Henry knew he and Rosie had been drifting but he was all set to give her the best birthday ever.

Henry had bought tickets for you and Tom to fly in for her birthday and stay for awhile. This time of year was hard for all of you but it wasn’t fair to Rosie. The day that is supposed to be about her has always been shared but now no one dared acknowledge it. It was just a reminder of what had been lost.

“Good morning, beautiful. Happy birthday,” Henry whispered, peppering her face in kisses as the morning sun shone through the curtains.

“Thank you,” Rosie sighed. Every year was a challenge. It got a little better every year but she knew she would never fully accept his absence.

“What do you have planned today?” Henry inquired, he was always one for big gestures. He absolutely hated that she no longer enjoyed her birthday.

As a kid she loved the idea of turning a year older, getting to grow up and getting loads of presents of course. You always made the priority of throwing the most perfect themed parties for Rosie and Parker. One year they had a pirate themed pool party with a treasure hunt and another a circus/carnival theme with fair games and a petting zoo. You loved going all out for their birthday. Just spoiling them in general.

Rosie and Parker, also Tom, can’t forget about him, made life worth living. You and Tom did everything for your kids, never wanting them to feel an ounce of sadness.

But the times had changed, you were no longer the mother to a son. It was just Rosie and you thanked God everyday that she was still there but your heart will forever be scarred.

Scars take forever to heal, sometimes never. There will never be a day when you don’t miss Parker or he doesn’t cross your mind. Everything you did from the moment he died was for him, in one way or another. You knew the grief would never stop but you hoped Rosie would one day be able to move on with life.

“You know…” Rosie murmured. “Oh yeah, say hi for me,” Henry nodded along remembering Rosie was going to spend the day next to her better half, Parker.

Rosie proceeded to get dressed and ready for the day. She wore a tight grey dress showing off the perfect curves of her body. And a pair of black high heels to complete her power woman ensemble. “Henry, you aren’t throwing me a party right? I really don’t want one,” Rosie inquired. Rosie would prefer to have all birthdays pass and wash away but she knew Henry wouldn’t allow that. At the most she would have a nice dinner with him and watch a movie.

“You’ll just wait to find out,” Henry grinned cheekily. In reality he was throwing her surprise party to help her find the joy in her birthday again.

“Henry seriously, not this year,” Rosie announced. “It’s never any year. You haven’t celebrated in 3 years. You need to get over this.”

“Get over what? The death of my twin brother?” Rosie asked, astounded at Henry’s previous statement. The nerve he had, wow.

“Roo, I’m sorry,” Henry tried to apologize but Rosie left in a huff.

“Talk later, Linus is waiting for me,” Rosie yelled, already walking out of the room. “Linus, you ready to go?” Rosie said, as she found him drinking coffee in her kitchen. He sat at the bar, legs dangling off the chair as she came down. “Yes, Roo,” he said, a little out of breath from taking the awe of her beauty.

“Please don’t call me that around Henry… What’s on the agenda?” Rosie asked Linus as she poured herself her own cup of coffee.

“Well, Shaw owes you 3 million and the deadline you gave him expired,” Linus explained, he knew Rosie hated having things held over her head. She would prefer to get them out of the way as soon as possible.

“Well then, let’s go pay him a visit. I could use a drink. Afterwards, can you drop me off at the cemetery?” “Of course, Roo,” Linus said. Rosie huffed in response, rolling her eyes at the name. Linus loved to get a rise out of Rosie. Her remarks to his comments were just a sign of their playful banter.Rosie’s relationship with Linus was complicated. They were partners, most of the time.

Rosie had gone really dark over the past years. There were days where she refused to get out of bed. Sitting in bed wasting the entire day away. Henry would come home from work and try his best to comfort her but after Parker he was just as lost as her. They lived in the same house but not truly together. Not as lovers, maybe as roommates.

All Rosie could feel were thoughts of hopelessness, desolation, and misery. Never being able to find that light at the end of the tunnel. She didn’t deserve to find it, thinking she was the one who pushed you and Tom away. Blaming herself for Parker. All these feelings and Henry wasn’t there, too busy with his own life.

One day, Rosie had gotten real low. Couldn’t find a way out so she went to the gun room grabbed the closest pistol, a bottle of scotch, a glass and sat in Tom’s office. She rested on Tom’s chair trying to find the will to end it all. To point the pistol and pull the trigger.

It would be so easy, the flick of a finger. No more pain. She tried not to think about everything she was giving up. Never seeing you or Tom again, or Henry. Never loving him again, if they ever did manage to find their way back to each others arms. Never experiencing the things that made life worth living.

All her thoughts were halted as Linus barged in. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the broken girl hold a gun unto her temple, its safety clicked off. The room was cold as an icy chill ran down his spine.

“Rosie, what are you doing!?!” Linus thundered, trying to stop her before she pulled the trigger. “I don’t know. I think I’m trying to end it all,” Rosie whispered as tears streamed down her face. Deep down she didn’t want to pull the trigger, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

“End what all? Your life?” Linus asked, trying to talk her off the metaphorical ledge. Something had to happen that pushed her to this point. Rosie had to be drowning and calling out for help but no one came. “No, it was never about killing myself. It was just about ending the pain and suffering,” she cried.

“Rosie, listen to me. There is so much more you have to live for. This will pass. Think about everything you are giving up.” Linus tried to appeal to the people she loved, you, Tom, and Henry. Losing Rosie would no longer make you a mother. How could Rosie take that away from you?

“I already have and it hasn’t, for 2 years. How do you know it will get any better?” Rosie begged for a true answer. She had been slumping around, letting the days pass her by as she stood silent, screaming non-vocally for help. Trapped in an asylum of misery. “I don’t. But I’ll be there to help you,” Linus exclaimed, giving her the truthful response she wanted. Rosie just needed to hear that she wasn’t alone in this world anymore. “No, you won’t. You’ll just leave like everyone else. Henry doesn’t love me anymore. My parents left. I’m all alone.” “Roo, you aren’t alone. Just hand me the gun and we can work this out. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here,” Linus pleaded. That was the first time he had used that nickname. The name had been reserved for only Henry, Parker and you. In that moment Rosie saw someone she missed so dearly in Linus, Parker. Parker was the only person who was 100% there for her. He was there to talk her off the ledge. He was there at her weakest and in a split second he was standing in front of her.

Rosie gave in, removing the gun from her temple, clicking the safety one and handing it over. She slowly stood up, coming over to Linus and collapsed in his arms. Rosie whispered a small “I missed you” as he held the broken girl. He was the only one who could pull her out. Not Henry, god she wished it was Henry. Linus understood her pain and didn’t try to fix everything.

Henry was the opposite. Constantly worrying about Rosie and trying to find a solution for everything. Things from the slightest backache to feelings of hopelessness. Rosie didn’t need fixing she just needed to be heard and Linus made sure she was. At Harmon’s, the bar was quite empty. Just Shaw and a few of his men. Shaw has borrowed money from Rosie to clear of a few charges. The Holland name had some pull in the legal community. Dating back to Dom’s days but Tom mostly laid down roots.

Linus entered first, firing two shots to take out Shaw’s capos. “Jesus Christ,” yelled Shaw as his protection thudded against the floor.

Rosie followed Linus in, making her presence known, “Shaw, you know I’m not a fan of people not staying true to their word. Do you have my money?”

“Rosie, doll. I paid you in full already. If this just your sad attempt to stir something up we can work this out another time. Shoo, let me finish my drink,” Shaw snickered. “Shaw, I know your games. You have 3 minutes to transfer my money right now. One for each million. I have Linus checking for a deposit of 3 million, make this simple and do it,” Rosie stated with an unchanging expression. “I need more time, that’s not enough. It’s all in separate accounts,” Shaw asserted, his voice starting to waver as he stared down the barrel of her pistol. “Well then, I’d hurry if I were you. Here’s your phone. Just wire the money… Starting now,” Rosie exclaimed as Linus devoted his stare to watch. Glancing at the seconds tick away.

“Fine, I’m going,” Shaw screamed, about to crack under the pressure.

“2 minutes left,” Linus chimed in. “Okay, I’m just inputing the dollar amount, it’s a lot of zeros.” Shaw tried to explain. He was about to lose his life because he was slow.

“50 secs.”

“I’m going, I’m going.”

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6—“

“I’m done,” Shaw said, letting out the breath he was holding.

“That was fast but not fast enough,” Rosie whispered raising her gun square to the back of his head. Her finger slipped to the trigger and fired a shot.

BANG

“Wow, I didn’t think you actually kill him,” Linus said, impressed by her ruthlessness.

“He was getting on my nerves, besides he will never borrow money from me again if he is dead,” Rosie chuckled. “You know I found that really hot,” Linus whispered in her ear. “You always do.” Rosie grinned at his advances, trying to pull her close to his chest. “Hey, this can’t keep happening.”

“Oh, come on. You say that every time. I can’t hide my feelings for you anymore.”

“Well, you are going to have to. I was clear about what this was. So I’m going to ask you this once more time, what do you want?” “I want you.” “Well you can have me in the bathroom in 2 minutes.” “Roo, you’re too good to me,” Linus smirked, following her as she glided to the restroom.

Everything lasted about 30 mins. They were in and out in a flash. The bar now smelled of sex and a dead bodies. Linus was the first to finish, coming out of the bathroom looking disheveled as hell. Sporting the same juts had a quickie look. Linus went to pull the car around after fixing his hair in the mirror.

Linus would never be Henry and that was a good thing, Linus was different. By no circumstances was Rosie in love with Linus or will ever be in love with him, he was merely a distraction. Rosie knew her relationship with him was wrong but he made her feel alive once more.

Rosie emerged from bathroom breathing heavy, almost gasping for air, with sweat glistening on her chest. She straightened out her dress as combed down her hair. Stepping out of the doorway, the smell of a fresh rotting body hit her.

Rosie immediately turned around and lunged for the toilet. She had been in the business for 3 years and never before had her body reacted this way. She hurled into the toilet for a good ten minutes. Eventually bringing her head out of the toilet bowl to wipe off her mouth. The air was now coupled with sex, dead bodies and vomit. She was clueless to what forced her to keep her head in a toilet bowl.

After her nausea spell passed her, she had Linus drop her off near the cemetery. “Oh, you can drop me off here. I need something from the pharmacy anyways,”Rosie informed Linus. She was planning on picking up something for her stomach, it was very unlikely for her to throw up suddenly.

“Ok, Roo. Do you need a ride home?” Linus questioned.

“No, Jared is supposed to pick me up. Thank you,” Rosie exclaimed, getting out of the car. “Alright. Happy birthday by the way. Can I have a kiss goodbye?” “Thank you and no. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah for the party,” Linus called out slowly driving away. “Wait! What did you say?” Rosie remarked but he was already long gone.

Rosie was mentally kicking herself, she didn’t have the willpower to deal with a party tonight. She specifically told Henry, not to throw one but since when did he listen to her.

Their road to ultimately heartbreak was a two way street. Both of them had done something to warrant the loveless relationship. Rosie admitted to herself, that she eventually did stop trying. She stopped constantly asking if Henry wanted to go out for dinner and what time he would be home. Rosie prefers to blame Henry but in reality, she was then one who let go first.

Rosie stopped showing him love, too distraught by his every move because it was a constant reminder her brother wasn’t there anymore. Henry would try to work him into every little conversation, remembering Parker in everything. It grew too much for Rosie. Rosie had never been one for confronting her feelings, preferring to shove them down but how could she, when Henry would never shut up about Parker.

Parker was the main reason a wedge had been driven between them, but she wouldn’t dream of blaming her dead brother. Who couldn’t even defend himself. Rosie needed a reset after Parker but Henry was stuck living in the past.

Rosie was ready to start her life with Henry after graduation but he couldn’t let go. After a while, Rosie became just like him. Stuck drifting into a void of pure sadness. Rosie couldn’t let go, along with Henry. Their lives went in different directions, Rosie was blossoming into a ruthless leader who would only act soft around Parker, vowing to visit his grave everyday. And Henry got left behind at some point, not seeing how he fit in her life anymore.

In the pharmacy she scanned the aisles for some sort of quick remedy. If Henry was throwing her a surprise party, one she specifically asked not for. Rosie didn’t have days to recuperate, maybe a few hours.

She found the largest bottle of Pepto-Bismol and stopped by the card aisle. Carefully grasping a birthday card for her favorite person. One that was funny yet endearing. Parker was addicted to all the corned jokes she would crack. She made her way to the register. In front of her stood a little old woman, she wore a purple floral dress and her white stained hair was pulled into a clip.

“Just this for you sweetie? Oh, who’s birthday is it?” Asked the little lady, referring to the birthday card Rosie grabbed for Parker.

“My brother’s and um, could I also get this,” Rosie responded as her eyes glanced below her. Skimming over the candy bars, gum packets and eventually landing on a pregnancy test. Come to think of it, Rosie was late about a week and a half.

“Of course, honey. Would you like to use the restroom?” Queried the lady. Rosie nodded in response. She finished paying and quickly made her way to the restroom. Following the directions on the box carefully, she needed to be a hundred percent sure, before she told anyone.

Right around the corner was the cemetery. She glided through iron gates, walking across the cobble stone path before she came upon the place she loved most in the world. The place where she would hold nothing back, spilling everything to him.

Life of a mob boss was dangerous but things started to seem eerie for Rosie. She would feel weird presences or someone watching her at eerie times. The same feeling plagued her at the cemetery, today. She knelt down to the headstone, engraved in it read “Here Lies Parker Jackson Holland, Taken from us too soon, a son, a brother, and a friend.”

“Hey, P. You probably get tired of me visiting you. Everyday I’m here and sometimes I think I do it for my benefit more than yours. I hope that wherever you are, you are happy and most likely you are with Charlotte. I’m happy for you, Parker. No matter how much I wish you were here with me, I know that you are happy that you escaped this life. Happy 20th birthday.” Rosie whispered, fixing the flowers that began to wilt from yesterday.

“I have some really amazing news to share with you, but it will have to wait till next time. You can’t be the first person I tell, I’m sorry. He deserves to know before you…. Oh my god, you’ll never believe what happened at work…”

This is the one thing that brought Rosie solace. She persistently blames herself for that fateful night 3 years ago. Rosie would spend hours kneeling next to his headstone. She would tell him about her life and read off the postcards you and Tom sent from your travels. Talking to him as if he was still there.

Rosie glanced at her watch, it was half past five and she hadn’t even called Jared yet to pick her up. “I’m sorry P, I gotta go. Henry, god love him but, that bastard is throwing me a birthday party. I guess I should at least make an appearance. I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you.” Rosie said, walking towards the parking lot.

She stood under the gate for ten minutes waiting for Jared to arrive and escort her home. The weather completely shifted as the sun set around her. The once blue sky changed to one painted with vibrant yellows and pinks. The sky was a sight not to be missed but she could do without the freezing winds that accompanied.

A chill ran down her spine as she waited in the darkness. Feeling a sensation that only warranted panic. Rosie felt someone watching her once again. Maybe from a far or up close, but she definitely wasn’t alone. It was silly that she let feelings like those get to her. She was a mob boss for god sakes, scaring even the most menacing of men into submission.

Rosie eyes started darting everywhere a noise left. In the corner of her eye she caught a figure drenched in shadows approaching. She tried to scramble for her gun, but soon realized she left it in Linus’s car.

The stranger kept making advances and managed to get to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a cloth to her mouth. Causing her to be consumed in darkness as her body grew limp.

Back at the manor, Henry was setting everything up perfectly. His mission was to make Rosie love her birthday once more. While Henry was working hard at hanging the birthday banner and decorating every corner with balloons, Linus was no help at all. Lounging on the couch and finishing a beer.

“So are you going to pick up Rosie and get off your ass?” Henry barked, pulling the coffee out from under Linus, causing him to spill his beer.

“Seriously, dude. What’s your problem?” Linus snapped.

“My problem is my girlfriend isn’t here. Aren’t you supposed to pick her up?” “No, Jared is.” “Linus, Jared is here. He has been for a few hours. Where is she?” Henry questioned, starting to worry. “I don’t know. Last, I left her at the cemetery.” “Henry! It’s so good to see you,” you cheered as Tom and you walked in. Hugging Henry after not seeing him for awhile. It still pained you to visit, traveling was the perfect distraction.

“Hope you have been taking care of yourself, son. Where’s Rosie?” Tom questioned. “Yeah, I’ve been good. At the moment, I don’t know where she is. She’s missing,” Henry concluded. You and Tom stood completely still as you processed the news. It wasn’t everyday that your daughter would disappear into thin air, but her job did keep her life in danger.Rosie missing was uncommon. It had happened once or twice in the past but that was 3 years ago. So much had changed, for the better. Yet, you were once again in the same place, in the house you left because everything was too familiar. Rosie missing was all too familiar.

Rosie came to. Opening her eyes to a place she chose to forget. For all she knew it was an exact replica. Warehouses riddled all of London’s ports, she could be anywhere.

“Text your driver and tell him Henry picked you up for a special birthday dinner,” Rosie’s kidnapper barked, thrusting a phone in front of her.

“Really? You kidnapped me? After 3 years of being leader of London’s most feared mob, it’s like been there done that. Do you want money or something? I have a party to get to.” Rosie quipped, annoyed with they man’s pursuits.

“Oh, I know. I believe happy birthday is granted. 20 years is a milestone.”

“Whatever, I don’t really like my birthday anyway.”

“Wanna talk about it?” The stranger pestered on. Rosie had learned lesson from the last time she was restrained to chair, rope around her wrists and ankles, ceasing blood flow. This time it was zip ties, a little basic for any mobster she has had a run with.

“No. I want you to let me go. Seriously, what do you want? I don’t think you know who I am. Or who my father is,” Rosie asserted.

“A moment alone together is all I ask and I know exactly who you are and who your dad is. Correction, who our dad is.”

“Parker.”

A/n: Finally the end. Alright, I'm going to bed. There is no set schedule for the sequel series, I'm just going to post a chapter when I finish writing it. Let me know if you like to be tagged in the sequel chapters.

Guns, Glamour and Goodfellas Masterlist

Taglist: @thenoddingbunny-blog @adriannauni @dummiesshort @bi-lmg @allthisfortommy @quaksonhehe @housepartyprotocol

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

the wolf should’ve been afraid of me.

Titans 3.04

just under the wire! ... i hope.

like with the previous review, i’m typing this up as i see the episode. here we go!

spoilers ahead.

1. ... well. that was an interesting cold open.

1.25. i don’t know whether to admire this show’s restraint when it comes to gotham and its excesses, particularly arkham asylum. it’d be easy to go hammer and tongs, like suicide squad (2016) did, or any number of bat media did, at a tropey, colourful~~insanity~~ that can be quite damaging, casting mental illness in strangeness and criminality. it definitely shows gotham as... separate from the rest of the country, its own ecosystem of heroes and villains, a sort of rogue state. 

but that ecosystem is still human, with its heroes needing to clip parts of themselves away just to survive, growing old and needing to be recycled, its villains languishing in the same kinds of systems that fail everybody else who needs to be helped. it’s a quieter, tenser sort of wrongness: not strange enough that you can dissociate, but not close enough that you can completely empathise. gotham is its own creature.

1.5. i know that the reasoning behind this is more doylist than anything, but i’m so glad that joker was killed off with little fanfare right at the start of the season. he is the one man in the batverse that’s transcended its confines as this sort of ethereal boogeyman/eternal edgelord and to justify his presence in the series would mean giving him this tired, overblown importance and too much of a stab at colourful, tropey “madness” in this otherwise-subdued series. i wish all batmedia would follow suit and get rid of this fucker.

1.75. so jason is bucking scarecrow’s control! or reminding him of who exactly holds all the cards right now. circling back to what i talked about in the last review, it’s remarkable just how little time it’s been since jason’s “death” and he’s already got ‘minions’ and elaborately set up plans to track, break and kill the titans. just how long has he been planning this? when did he first look at WE weapons prototypes and think that’s something i can use to blow somebody up? and the most unsettling question: did he plan his own death at the hands of the joker just so that he could break batman?

at this point it’s obvious that the scarecrow at least started jason down this path, but it’s frightening just how far he’s travelled already.

1.8. aaagh, less than one minute in! i’ll shut up. 

2. conner washing his hands at the sink reminds me that he was directly in the line of explosion when hank got blown up and he’s probably got atomised hank-bits all over his skin that he’s desperately trying to wash off.

... you’re welcome.

2.25. conner, don’t you speak to gar fucking logan like that, sir, no!

2.3. if anything it’s the lex part of him that gave him the knowhow to recognise the weapon and build a de-activator for it. 

anyway, for that ‘half-breed’ and ‘talking tiger’ comment?

(i wish, tho, that we actually see conner more interested in the superman part of his legacy, like maybe listening to stories from gar, or even better, dick, so we get a better idea of the pressure he’s feeling to live up to that part of him and not the part that’s lex.)

((i talked about conner’s stages of moral development in his introductory episode last season, but i wonder if the next stage of his self-actualisation would be to further integrate the parts of himself and realise that they are only parts and he, conner, is an entirely different person unto himself that can make decisions on how to use what he has and what he knows. his superman abilities can be used to destroy. his lex knowledge can be used to save.))

3. oh dawn :((

3.25. is this the last we see of dawn and hank? i mean, we know donna is coming back; would it be a stretch to think they’ll try to have a go at resurrecting hank as well?

3.5. “deathstroke didn’t make us into killers.” good, because deathstroke didn’t make jason a killer either. there’s a missing step there you need to be looking for, dick. 

3.75. dick did try to break the cycle, step away from gotham, run from the possibility that he could turn into batman. it didn’t help; he couldn’t fully withdraw from his vigilante persona the same time he loathed it, and batman literally haunted him both asleep and awake. but maybe gotham doesn’t have to turn anybody into anything. maybe gotham has nothing to do with it at all. it’s about taking responsibility, realising some sacrifices are pure bullshit, and building an actual family instead of merely a team.

anyway: hugs!

(oh, also? mr “i hate flying”? i mean, there’s perfectly valid reasons to hate flying that’s not related to childhood trauma, but then again, this guy was literally a ‘flying grayson’ once. also also, remember that he also gets sea-sick. must’ve a lot of fun stories to tell.)

4. ooh that gar/kory confrontation was brief but cool!

listen, i have never seen a psychiatrist with that extravagant an office and SIR I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW--

4.5. kory’s so unused to reaching out for help and it’s breaking my heart that HPG likely is some kind of impostor that’s maybe causing her symptoms in the first place. 

kory and dick have mostly been apart this season but it’s remarkable how their journeys have paralleled each other; kory processes her grief, isolation and existential dread into a determination to take care of this new family she has, no matter what it takes; dick does much the same, forging ahead with plans and solutions until he has no fuel left in him and spirals into a massive breakdown.

4.25. listen titans this really is a TERRIBLE continuity error. we aren’t goldfish; we can clearly remember that two minutes ago it was gar’s upper arm that was burned, not his forearm. COME ON.

“sensory deprivation tank” *SNORT*

anyway, gar is the BEST

4.5. i wonder where these visions of experimentation took place. was it on tamaran, or on earth, after she came to hunt down rachel/trigon and before she lost all her memories? is HPG a part of the scientist group that experimented on her? ... god, i hope not. i mean, i think he is, but it would be cool to have some positive therapist representation in media. 

5. you’d think the van transporting a dangerous supervillain that only batman could catch would be more secure but... i’m also not entirely surprised. 

5.15. i love dick gives ZERO shits about hiding himself or even ensuring scarecrow is adequately contained. just turns away after kidnapping him in BROAD DAYLIGHT and says ‘let’s go’. I LOVE THIS DUMBASS

6. lmao gar is having a really really shitty day SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN A BREAK or just a goddamn story arc of his own

6.5. i’m really confused about the timeline here. so... sometime ago, kory came down to earth to hunt down trigon, yeah? at some further point down the line she and her sister were kidnapped and experimented on. THEN she somehow escapes but... loses her memory? a few months pass and then we see blackfire alive and well and free; she kills faddei, can impersonate other people, and is clearly seeking out kory. but now she’s still in the experiment facility...? what’s going on?

i’m not entirely surprised about the facility being mostly deserted. either the biggest investors in this project gave up on it and it was left to the most fanatic to carry on, or they were deliberately trying to lure kory and get her to free blackfire--expand the environs of the experiment, so to speak.

7. hopefully barbara is going to get something to do other than listen to various men give her Attitude

8. how do you terrorise a terrorist? well:

i love when dick is a scary-competent motherfucker.

8.25. ooooh, the attack on crane at arkham a ploy to get crane to blackgate? nice one dick, i didn’t even think of that. but why though? to protect crane from the titans? to intercept the van to blackgate and “rescue” him? seems likely--red hood was there, except dick got to crane quicker.

9. still reeeallly unclear about the komand’r situation. was komand’r captured after s2? is this all A TRAP?? if so, why are you stepping into the only thing that can contain you, kory????

9.25. so... definite parallels between dick/jason and kory/kom here. i’m just. i’m still. really confused. i’ll shut up now.

10. this may be my favourite dick look yet:

woodsman!dick in a beanie.

10.5. i unironically love how titans has made this bizarrely-devoted-to-his-moniker, toxin-spewing supervillain into a tamer version of hannibal, psychoanalysing his victims into submission. it’s of a piece with how inward looking titans is, the way all of its villains are obsessed with how our protagonists’ minds work, to the point where they would actually spend time inside of them. 

there are no big plots to end the world. no apocalypses or endgames here. these villains collect the titans’ insecurities like infinity stones. the way the titans defeat them is by achieving character growth--literally winning by the power of love. literally “the real superpower is the friends we made along the way”!

10.7. anyway, i’m betting dick is used to this bullshit from crane and is humouring him in the service of getting more information. the story about the wolf? an implicit threat, not to mention dick getting to control what crane knows about him and what methods he would use to manipulate him.

am i giving dick too much credit here? i don’t think so. he’s really impressed me so far this season.

10.75. like. there’s a real unreliable narrator vibe coming off with every person that talks about bruce (much like how the various members of the titans talked about jason’s motivations) and to buy into crane’s talk about bruce being a psychopath is to fall for the same manipulation that jason fell for. dick is the only person who hasn’t really psychoanalysed bruce this season, and i think some part of his detective brain is piecing things together into a bigger picture.

11. i’m glad kory rescued kom but did she have to kill the scientist?

(i mean, yeah, probably - the less people know that kom escaped the less likely they’re going to have the fucking govt on their doorstep, but still.)

11.5. dick’s gonna come back to wayne manor, stare straight at komand’r and go, well which room would you like? because the team might as well adopt ANOTHER person, yeah?

12. oh MAN that red hood/nightwing fight was AMAZING! and he did the thing! the boomerang escrima thing! i’m so delighted!

12.5. the anger and disbelief in dick’s voice when he says you told crane EVERYTHING?! tells me that he knew exactly what he was telling crane himself.

12.75. “everything you are is because of him” - oh that reminds me of halluci!bruce from last season. i hope we see halluci!bruce again--he is so vicious but so entertaining... so much more effective at tearing dick down than crane or jason combined. goes to show that dick’s biggest enemy is own fucking head.

12.8. oh no! dick’s shot! crane is in the wind with red hood! blackfire is now with the titans! i love it!

honestly this season’s pacing is such a big step up from the last couple. gold star, show.

[thed4rkhand]

Hi! I'm excited for your posts :3 It would be really interesting to read your analysis on Jimin's chart!

So today we’re doing Jimin’s chart and my analysis of it. Let me make it clear right off the bat, that since I’m not a professional astrologer, some things may not match up, further since we’re not super sure of his birth time, it’ll definitely affect the reading. What I can be sure of is that I’ll do my best and I’m completely open to constructive criticism from you all!

Now lets get on with some basic stuff, for those who have not yet read the post with Namjoon’s moon analysis, I’ll again reiterate some principles of Vedic astrology! In the scenario that you’re still confused with all this jargon, feel free to reach out and I’ll be more than happy to help you out.

Starting out, we have to note that while western astrology is usually more advisory in nature, Vedic astrology’s main purpose is to predict. Also, we usually go a sign back from western astrology in Vedic astrology, so according to that for example, if you’re a libra rising, you become a virgo rising in Vedic astrology and so on and so forth. All planets will also shift back a sign, so a Capricorn Mercury will become a Sagittarius Mercury.

Now let’s be aware that the chart may be a bit different, but given the main d1 (Lagna) chart remains the same for about 2 hours, let’s focus on that and the moon chart (rashi chart) for this reading. We can also just look at d9 for strength but not house placements as that can be time sensitive. So, we can take a two hour margin of time discrepancy and still predict accurately.

For this reading, we have taken 13th October 1995 as the day and 10:34pm as the time of birth, with the location set to Busan.

OTHER THAN THIS, LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO DO A BIRTH TIME RECTIFICATION FOR JIMIN LATER ON SO WE CAN GET MORE ACCURATE PREDICTIONS.

Since this is a general chart analysis, we shall be covering topics briefly and discussing the moon, ascendant and sun. For an in depth reading, do pick a smaller and focussed topic as we can honestly keep going on and on about a chart.

THIS READING WILL BE DONE IN 4 PARTS, FOLLOWING THE ASCENDANT, MOON, SUN AND MISCELLANEOUS.

On with the actual reading now-

Right off the bat, we can see Jimin is born into Gemini, with his ascendant at 16’49’, within the Nakshatra of Arda, within the fourth quadrant or pada. His lagna lord, Mercury is retrograde in the 4th house conjunct with sun, in the sign of virgo, where Mercury is naturally exalted as well as Mercury being in its Mooltrikon sign here. Secondly, the lord of Ardra, rahu, is sitting in the 5th house conduct Venus. Further the first house receives aspects from both rahu(north node) and mars. We can keep going but we’ve got a whole chart to cover here.

Now onto explaining what all this means. Being born into gemini makes the natives jovial and social by nature, all while having a very sharp mind. The phrase that comes to mind is ‘a wolf in sheep’s clothes’, not because they’re inherently bad or something, but because people don’t give them enough credit for their genius calculating mind. Throwing the Nakshatra of Ardra into this, I can definitely see the dots connecting slowly. Ardra literally means ‘the fortunate one’. An apparent destructive Nakshatra, given its ruled by the deity Rudra, it has several different aspects to it.

People born in ardra tend to have very extreme emotions and may be prone to anger issues and a habit of destructing anything they deem imperfect. People in this Nakshatra also make great actors due to their ability to mimic others well, a quality that makes them well liked and sociable, often giving them a dual persona of seriousness and goofiness. Such people are extremely affectionate and motherly, And men may display an effeminate quality to them, given that the Nakshatra is female in nature. Further, since rudra is also representative of the half man half woman god, (Ardhnarishwar), such people may have a conflict with wanting to show more and more stereotypically masculine sides to them and thus may engage in extreme dieting or bodybuilding to achieve this.

On a professional front, such people are extremely hardworking and rule abiding, sometimes to the extent of being self destructive. They have a humorous disposition and often hide behind that persona. They also keep a tight circle of friends and often check up on them. Compassionate and coolheaded, such people are often the centre of attention. The tend to multitask very often and find it hard to remain still and let go. lastly, such people and their career usually peaks after the age of 32 (aaahhh whaaat jimin).

lastly, his ascendant is in the last quadrant, which is ruled by Pisces and thus Jupiter. Being in an enemy sign here, people can have body image issues (1st house is our body and mind) and mental destress regarding their capabilities. Such people also love to engage in drinking and are very philanthropic in nature, loving to elevate the unfortunate people in society.

His lagna lord is retrogade in 4th house in virgo, conjunct sun and without aspects. The former indicates that a personal has a constant up and down tussle with their self image, and people often have demeaned them for either their looks or personality. This causes a person to be extremely insecure in themselves, and thus may require constant coddling and words of affirmations. Going four houses away, we can see that his mother is someone who truly shaped him and his persona. Their childhood upbringing plays a big role in them. Their childhood could have been tumultuous, with constant disagreements and obstacles.

They may have problems expressing their emotions or penning down their words, or they might be a very cautious person in terms of what they speak and to whom they speak. Mercury is also exalted here, giving it power, so we see that eventually the native breaks forth of this dilemma in life. They may have a career related to communication (see mercury aspecting 10th house), and they will have a successful career at that. The person may own a lot of real estate with this position. Since its mercury in virgo, such a person may be brilliant with handling technology and may even pursue IT based careers due to the ease of handling gadgets.

Given that here, sun in conjunct, right off the bat, the person must resemble their father a lot in terms of looks. They also have a regal appearance that demands attention. They may be well spoken. Their father was dominating and shaped them into who they are. Since mercury and sun aren’t friends, we can also see that such a person may have anger issues and problems controlling their tongue. This conjunction also forms the renowned Budh-Aditya Yoga, a conjunction that shows extreme smartness in a person. While this doesn’t necessarily have to be academic, such people can be very sharp and grasp things easily, they may even have knowledge on a wide variety of subjects and be extremely curious to learn more. Due to this, a person also become a great communicator, and people enjoy listening to them talk as they hold people’s attention with their unique way of speaking. They can be a great salesperson or politician with such a placement. Studies should come easy, as would reading anything from novels to detailed instructions. There may be a talent for writing stories and one may be good at interpreting symbols, font design or calligraphy.

Now going to rahu and Venus in 5th. This is a great placement honestly, given that Venus, the lord of love, beauty and creativity is sitting in the house of children, past karma, creativity and primary education, in the sign of libra. This would indicate that a native with their Nakshatra lord here would be extremely creative (rahu blows qualities out of proportion), kind of childlike innocence that would attract people who would want to literally ‘nurture’ or mother them, or inversely they could themselves be very motherly to their friends, such people also have good education till primary level (undergraduate level) and also carry a lot of good karma from their past life, which results in gains now.

Further the sign of Libra signifies that their beauty or creativity would be very magnetic, they exude charm and regalness, they tend to attract people like moths and have a very star crossed lovers kind of personality. Given Venus is the lord of 12th and 5th house itself, sitting in its mooltrikon sign of libra, it is extremely powerful here. Such a person may have alien or distinguished ideas, explore new arenas, write about devotion and deep philosophical experiences. They may also be very fond of children and children’s literature.

Given the 12th house is also the house of paranormal and extraterrestrial beings, such a person may be very in tune with their own selves and may regularly take part in activities of the occult like tarot, astrology, magick or occult like practices, or at least they have the natural capacity to do so. They may also be great psychologists with this placement and read people’s minds, with acute sixth sense and empathetic powers. Such a placement may also give clairvoyant abilities to a person. They may have troubles with their left eye, liver and digestive track also.

Rahu in libra makes someone overtly sensual and starry eyed about the world, seeing stuff through rose tinted glasses. Here in the 5th house, this may give an unrealistic image of love and grandeur, cause obsession like love, unrealistic image of self to the world. They may be also seen as a sex symbol of sorts often time, but also have a very cute site to them, as libra is a dual sign itself. Given its the ruler of 9th house here, where retrograde Saturn sits, the person may have many failures in their love life or have a very unsuccessful love life till much older, when Saturn matures at 36 years. further, aqueous gives an affinity for wanting to stand out, attracting people and being attracted to people with unconventional personalities (vmin stans) and of course, being excited about all things foreign. They may have an affinity for writing about unusual and unrelated scenarios or daydreaming about them. They might want to provide comfort to unusual people and nurture them alot, while also wanting to stand out and become unconventional themselves, they hate being blended into the crowd with this position.

As for the mars and rahu aspect to the lagna, it would largely affect the physical and mental state here. Rahu has a tendency to give long, elongated and cat like eyes to people, or very exaggerated features in general, as rahu represents the extremes. These people have unusual but magnetic (rahu is temptation) looks, which only get better and better with age (rahu is the oldest after Saturn). Mars over here gives a ruddy complexion and untidy and unruly hair. It gives a stout athletic body, which is made extremely lean due to his gemini rising. These people have exaggerated Adam’s apple and extremely masculine features (look at his face, at points he looks like he’s a statue with those sharp chiseled features). Mars may give a very sexual look to a person too, making them look more hot than cute usually. The extremely emotive eyes of his are all thanks to ardra Nakshatra, which usually promises that (the eye smile?).

Such people may have very violent thoughts, due to mars. They might also be extremely passionate and would do anything to reach their goal. Rahu here brings a tendency to fall for addictions, such as alcohol and drugs.

So this is part 1 of jimin’s chart, I’ll analyze his sun, moon, miscelnous (house placements, atmakarka, amatyakarka, darakarka, divisional charts and a lot more in that)

Do let me know if you enjoyed reading this and if you have any feedbacks.

[electricea-archive]

Tag ten followers you want to get to know better.

Tagged by: @awesomeuchuu (Thanks friend!)

Tagging: Anybody who wants to try this out - I’d love to get to know all you guys!

Name: Jassi!

Star sign: Sagittarius or Scorpio, never been sure - my birthday’s a weird day for zodiac signs.

Height: 5′0.

Middle name?: Jane.  Don’t even know where my mom got it from as most people in our family are named after previous relatives but I’ve never known of a ‘Jane’ in my family.

Put your itunes / spotify on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up?

1. The Chain - Fleetwood Mac.

2.  Karma Chamelon - Culture Club.

3. Vacation - The Go-Go’s.

4. Don’t Bring Me Down - Electric Light Orchestra.

5. Shivers - Ed Sheeran.

6. Riptide - Vance Joy.

Grab one book nearest to you and turn to page 23. what’s line 17?: All of my books are manga so there are no numbered pages and lines, but the closest book to me was My Hero Academia: Team Up Missions volume 2.

Ever had a poem or a song written about you?: Not that I know of.

When was the last time you played air guitar?: Never really been an air guitar person.

Who is your celebrity crush?: YouTube started recommending me a lot of clips from the 90′s Batman films out of nowhere again, so I’m knee deep in my Nicole Kidman crush at the moment.

What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: Screeching - if that makes sense? Like today when I was working, there was a grocery cart where there was obviously something wrong with one of the wheels, you could feel it squealing as the person pushed it and it was just the worst sound.  I hope somebody fixes it.

Oh and for sound I love, I actually think the sound of popcorn popping is relaxing once it’s not super loud and as the popcorn cooks - also just the sound of the drink dispensers as you pour drinks.  I think I’m spending too much time at the theater, lol.

Do you believe in ghosts?: I don’t really know if I do.  I don’t rule it out.

How about aliens?: I don’t rule it out.

Do you drive?: No.

If so, have you ever crashed?: Nope.

What was the last book you read?: My Hero Academia Smash volume 5 - finished the series finally!

Do you like the smell of gasoline?: It’s okay.

What was the last movie you saw?: Spider Man: Far From Home.

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?: When I was really young, I fell down our stairs - and the way I fell was that that it was my back taking the brunt of it - pretty sure I skinned my back, but I could never see.  I remember thinking it took ages to heal and even now, there are the odds moments where if I touch my back in just the right spot, I feel a small sensitivity there, just like the feeling that I had when I was recovering.

Do you have any obsessions right now?: My Hero Academia - also pretty stoked on those new Pokemon games.  Excited to hear the Persona anniversary announcement too.  Also the more I see about the new Tokyo Mew Mew anime, the more hyped I am for it.  Can’t wait.

[leelysian]

Hyunjin as your older brother AU 💖✨

genre: fluff

word count: 2.2k

warnings: swearing

Disclaimer: I do not personally know Hyunjin. This work is purely fiction and my own idea. I took inspiration from his on screen persona. Please do not translate or re-upload my work.

☆ Let's start with you as babies.

☆ Hyunjin wasn’t too bothered with the idea of having a sibling.

☆ When your parents first broke the news to him, he was pretty indifferent.

☆ Your parents honestly thought he’d throw a tantrum or something but indifference was something they didn’t have in mind. 

☆ They slowly tried warming up to the idea of having a younger sibling to him, things like protecting them, taking care of them, sharing things with them etc.

☆ He wasn’t too keen on sharing. 

☆ Your parents diverted his mind from that thinking they’d deal with it later when it came to that in the future. 

☆ Initially Hyunjin would be nonchalant but once he saw how invested your parents were for your arrival- creating a nursery, making baby clothes, buying baby stuff etc. Hyunjin slowly got more curious. 

☆ Y’all know how his unnerving stare is, he’d just stare wide eyed in blatant curiousity at his parents preparing things. 

☆ He’d look at his mum eating weird things to satisfy her pregnancy cravings with disgust and sometimes mild curiousity. 

☆ “Why are you eating *insert craving*?” he’d ask. “Baby likes them.” your mum would say. "Oh. Baby's weird."

☆ That would make her laugh.

☆ Days pass by and finally the third trimester arrives. The baby is healthy and kicking.

☆ The fam was watching tv one fine evening when your mum felt a kick and gasped. Both dad and son jump up "What's wrong?"

☆ "Thebabykicked!" she said quickly in a word vomit. "What?" "THE BABY JUST KICKED!"

☆ *cue the freaking out*

☆ She grabbed Hyunjin's tiny hand and pressed it against her big bump when Hyunjin gasped in shock. "WOAH! BABY REALLY KICKED MUM!"

☆ "You were like that too, son." your dad would tell him. "I was?" he'd ask and point to himself and both your parents hummed in agreement.

☆ "You should talk to baby more, I'm sure baby can hear you." your mum told him as she ruffled his hair. "Okay mum."

☆ Thus, in random times he'd say things like "Come quickly." "I can't wait to see you." "I'm eating *insert food*, I think you'll like it but you have to come quick."

☆ Occasionally, he'd cuddle with your mum and rub her belly with lotion or body oil and he'd feel another kick which resulted in the room filling up with giggles.

☆ "Stop kicking mum so much, you'll hurt her." he'd scold. "It's okay baby. I'll be fine." your mum would say.

☆ Finally, the time for your birth came. Hyunjin was somewhat calm but inside he was all sorts of jittery with nervous excitement.

☆ After your parents had a moment with newborn you, Hyunjin was lifted up on the bed by your dad.

☆ The entire time he was quiet but wide eyed in barely concealed curiousity.

☆ Your mum gently placed you in his arms and your dad supported his arms so you were held securely.

☆ Hyunjin stared at you. Your eyes were closed. He raised a small hand and stroked your soft cheek and you stirred so he quickly pulled away.

☆ You opened your eyes into uneven slits and yawned and he smiled. "Cute hehe."

☆ He stroked your cheek again and your even tinier hand grabbed his finger. He gently shook your hand and rocked you in his arms.

☆ Hyunjin vowed he'd protect his new sibling. "He’s/she’s so small." he couldn't help but wonder out loud. "They grow quickly." your dad said.

☆ Fast forward, you were growing, and soon you started to babble and crawl.

☆ Hyunjin would always be keeping an eye on you.

☆ As all babies do, you had a habit of putting everything in your mouth. Everything.

☆ "NO Y/N DON'T EAT THAT." he exclaimed as you were about to put some sort of scum you found on the floor from your crawling adventure in your mouth

☆ He'd scream suddenly graced with the scene of you playing with the toilet water.

☆ Since you have the tendency to put everything in your mouth. He took a sour candy and handed it to you.

☆ You stared at the small, weird, colourful thing. He waited for you to do something.

☆ You put it in your mouth, grimaced heavily, dropped it from your mouth and frowned.

☆ Hyunjin had the time of his life and his stomach hurt from laughing so much.

☆ He'd walk and do things, you'd always follow him.

☆ He tried teaching you how to walk. Standing with you at arm's length as he held your shoulders.

☆ You took quite a few tumbles but he was there to catch you and cushion your fall.

☆ Then he took a different approach and stood behind you as he held your shoulders while you walked.

☆ Slowly with help from Hyunjin and your parents you learned to walk. Now the following became easier.

☆ If he went left, you went left. If he went right, you went right, if he ran then you ran. Then you'd stumble, fall and cry but Hyunjin would laugh and help you stand up.

☆ Soon, you learned how to climb and it was chaos everyday which made your parents exasperated and Hyunjin want to pull his hair out.

☆ "Y/N GET DOWN FROM THERE. THAT'S DANGEROUS!" as if you understood what he was saying. You giggled gleefully.

☆ Once your mum cut your hair. It was so bad. Hyunjin cried because you looked ugly. 

☆ Which made you cry.

☆ Both of you were crying. “MUM WHAT DID YOU DO TO Y/N’S HAIR?”

☆ You’d bother him when he was doing something wanting to be involved. He could be playing a game and you’d grab at him to get his attention. “Y/n stop!” he’d grumble.

☆ this is a true story. My mum cut my hair when I was like 1 and my older brother cried because it was so bad and I cried too

☆ Fast forward, you two are older but you’re still a smol child.

☆ You two played hide and seek. You picked the most obvious places to find.

☆ Hyunjin definitely knew where you were hiding because you always chose the same 3 spots but he'd pretend not to know.

☆ Just so he could jumpscare you. *cue the Hyunjin HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE laugh

☆ TICKLE FIGHTS!!!!

☆ Once Hyunjin was playing games. You went to him because your mum told you to go play for an hour. Hyunjin said no. “MUM HYUNJIN WON’T LET ME PLAY!” “Y/n you can play later. It’s okay.” Hyunjin has a smug look. 

☆ Hyunjin reaches to grab the remote to watch tv, you snatch it before he could. “Please let me watch!” he’d ask. “You didn’t let me play before, I’m not giving up the remote.” you say and hug the remote to your chest. 

☆ “You can go play now.” he put an innocent face. “No.” you refused. “What if I let you play tomorrow?” he asked but you didn’t budge. He did this way too many times. “How about I get you your favourite candy and you can play tomorrow?” 

☆ “How do I know you’re not lying?” you interrogated. “I promise.” he said. You mulled it over for a while. “Fine.” you toss the remote and rush to play your game. 

☆ Next time you were watching tv, Hyunjin didn’t let you play again. This time you were watching your favourite program. 

☆ He snatched the remote and changed the channel. “HEY I WAS WATCHING THAT! GIVE IT BACK!” Of course he raised it out of your reach, “I’m watching now.” 

☆ “If you won’t let me watch then you can’t either.” you’d move and block the tv’s receiver. He’d chastise you, “Y/n go away or else.” 

☆ “I’m telling mum.” you marched. “OKAY FINE HERE” he’d exclaim and give you the remote.

☆ He loved teasing you. As a kid you were a picky eater. Hyunjin didn’t complain as much as you, of course because he’s more mature.

☆ “Y/n you should eat your vegetables. Carrots are good for your eyesight. You don’t want to start wearing glasses now do you?” your mum would lecture you.

☆ “Yeah y/n, be like me. I have good eyesight. You watch too much tv as well. That’s not good.” he’d snicker and you’d glare at him. “You play games all day which is worse.”

��� “Hwang Hyunjin, is that true? You should be studying more.” your dad would start lecturing him and Hyunjin would glare at you for that while you smiled triumphantly.

☆ Lowkey bullied you by calling you nicknames. 

☆ He’d ruffle your hair playfully but 9/10 times it was annoying for you.

☆ You two would wake up together early morning on the weekends to watch morning cartoons.

☆ Cuddle together under the same blanket until you fell asleep again because you woke up very early.

☆ He’d stand innocently somewhere, you would walk past him and he’d either pull your hair from behind or push you. “HEY!”

☆ He was probably the one who told you some childhood fantasy is a lie. Like the tooth fairy is not real. “Oops.”

☆ Fast forward you’re tweens/teens/young adults

☆ Hyunjin was tolerable but still annoying, as expected of a big brother.

☆ One of his tics were hogging the bathroom for long periods of time.

☆ It got worse because he hit puberty and now he’s OBSESSED with his hair.

☆ You’re going to the bathroom to freshen up, it’s the morning, you have school and he intercepts you quickly and locks the door. “5 minutes y/n!” You bang on the door, “HYUNJIN GET OUT! I’M GONNA BE LATE!”

☆ You need to pee, he’s already in the bathroom. “HYUNJIN GET OUT I NEED TO PEE REALLY BAD! PLEASE!”

☆ He steals your charger. “What’s your percentage at Hyunjin?” “I can’t find my charger, but mine’s at 76%.” “WHAT THE HELL GIMME MY CHARGER MY PHONE’S AT 23%”

☆ You’re chilling in your room. He barges in without knocking.

☆ “Can’t you knock?” you sigh.

☆  “Which shirt should I wear?” You choose one. “Okay thanks.” he says and leaves without closing the door.

☆ “HYUNJIN CLOSE THE DOOR!”

☆ He barges in without knocking to tell you something. He leaves but not before grabbing something closest to him and throwing it at your face.

☆ And once again, he leaves without closing the door. “HYUNJIN CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR!” haven’t you ever heard of closing the damn door nOOO

☆ You’re sleeping. He sneaks into your room. Plays something really loud. You  fall off the bed. He bursts out laughing, clutching his stomach. “HYUNJIN I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

☆ He shakes a soda can. You walk in. “Hey y/n you want this?” You shrug, “Yeah sure.” You take it from him and open the can.

☆ PSSSSSHHHHH

☆ And you’re sprayed in sticky liquid, it’s up your nose and your eyes.

☆ You get him back of course. Spray some shaving cream on his face and his outstretched hand. Phone recording in hand. “Y/N!”

☆ You undo some of the stitches in his pants while he was in the shower.

☆ He went out wearing them. He bent over. 

☆ RRIIIIIIPPP

☆ The thing is he has no idea you’re the reason his pants are torn from his ass.

☆ Since fashion is subjective these days, you two share clothes but mostly you borrowing his.

☆ You sneakily use his perfume/deodorant stash. 

☆ He’s having cereal. “Can you pass me the box?” you politely ask. “Hm oh yeah sure.” he hands it to you after he finishes pouring then walks off.

☆ You tip the box and only a handful of cereal bits fall out.

☆ “Think fast!” *throws bottle* and you fail to catch it.

☆ You two take a lot of photos. You take good photos of him and he takes good photos of you. Neither of you half ass this. Photography is serious business.

☆ What’s annoying is that he takes photos with your phone and then tells you to send them to him afterwards.

☆ “Take photos with your OWN PHONE!”

☆ You two dance together at home. Your parents bought just dance for your birthday. And you two have dance battles together.

☆ You two made tiktok videos together.

☆ It’s mostly goofing off though. Hyunjin is always laughing his ass off. *cue HEHEHEHEHEHEHE*

☆ He had a habit of teasing you with embarrassing childhood stories. 

☆ “I remember when you were drinking out of the toilet.” he would burst out laughing.

☆ “Yeah well I remember when you nearly shit your pants because of getting your tooth pulled out.” you retorted.

☆ “Oh really?” he’d stand tall and menacing. You pulled a Naruto. “Y/N GET OVER HERE!”

☆ Despite the constant bickering and small *cough* pranks, he was still a reliable brother. 

☆ You knew he’d have your back no matter what and he knew you would do the same for him.

☆ He was always looking out for you even if that may not seem like it.

☆ There was never a dull moment in your house because of you two acting like cat and mouse. 

☆ He’d sometimes say comforting things when things got too hard for you, if he had nothing to say, his shoulder was free to cry on.

☆ But that’s something you’d never change. Yet.

[chcnce]

guess the TWENTY FOUR YEAR OLD OCTOBER baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because HWA YOHAN / CHANCE HWA  is just as CRISP as the month of OCTOBER. wait, why do they remind me of BANG CHAN? beyond that, they seemed RELIABLE AND PASSIONATE upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of SELF-CONSCIOUS AND CAUTIOUS though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX # 4 / APARTMENT # 1 / FLOOR # 2 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as STREAMER.

hi! i’m lu and i’m really happy to present to you to my mess of a son. he’s certainly a hard pill to swallow but he’s not as bad once you get to interact with him. chance is his real english name, but also the persona he’s crafted to remain popular and relevant to the masses. he’s blunt and brutally honest, but mostly when he’s streaming. all in all: a whole ass mess, i insist.

without further ado, here are his basic stats, a trivia and wanted connections under the cut. however you can find his background and plots linked accordingly ( i’ll add other pages eventually ). i’m really fine with talking either here or discord, so whichever works fine for you, works fine for me too! i’ll be reaching to everyone go gives this a like soon enough <3

basic information

― full name: hwa yohan / chance hwa ― nicknames: yohwa ― age: twenty four ― date of birth: october 3rd, 1996 ― birthplace: cheonan, south korea. ― hometown: sydney, australia ― current location: seoul, south korea ― living arrangements: dallyeog / complex # 4 / apartment # 1 / floor # 2 ― ethnicity: korean ― nationality: dual, korean (natural born) and australian (naturalized) ― gender: cis male ― pronouns: he / him ― orientation: demiromantic, heterosexual. ― religion: atheist ― occupation: streamer ― language(s) spoken: korean (fluent), english (fluent) ― accent: heavy australian accent

physical appearance

― faceclaim: bang chan / christopher bang of stray kids. ― hair: naturally brown, though he often dyes to a variety of colors, mostly black and blue. right now, it’s a purple color that’s already fading. ― eye colour: coffee brown ― height: 171cm ― weight: 56kg ― tattoos: none at the moment. ― piercings: lobe and upper lobe on both ears. anti-tragus, orbital and rook on the left one. double helix on the right one. ― clothing style: regularly techwear when he goes out and athleisure at home.

personality

― label: the cynical ― positive traits: attentive, dependable, reliable, passionate, brave, energetic, honest, humorous, clever, versatile, truthful, affectionate, sociable ― negative traits: self-conscious, cautious, opinionated, arrogant, detached, critical, tactless, stubborn, loud, quick-tempered, harsh, unfiltered, cynical, restless, ambitious, ― hobbies: baking, collecting enamel pins and funkos, jigsaw puzzles, skateboarding, reading, listening to music, curating playlists when he has time, learning origami. ― habits: obsessively organising, borrowing books and rarely ever returning them (he forgets who they belong to ok), really bad road rage, awful at keeping track of time, people watching, always wears a black ring on his left index finger, always hugs something when sleeping, gets easily impressed by things, quotes movies and shows in regular conversations, knuckle cracking, snacking between meals, eye rolling without noticing, squinting when concentrated, crossing his arms over his chest, running hands through his hair, slouching, rolling his shoulders. ― zodiac sign: sun libra, moon gemini, ascendant libra. ― mbti: infp-t “the mediator” ― enneagram: 8w7 “the nonconformist”. ― temperament: melancholic ― hogwarts house: ravenclaw ― moral alignment: chaotic neutral ― primary vice: greed ― primary virtue: diligence ― element: air

trivia:

― he’s played all kind of games and his twitch channel was created 9 years ago (whew) and it currently has over 5 million subscribers. currently, he streams mostly genshin impact, valorant, league of legends, overwatch, spider-man: miles morales, cyberpunk 2077 and the witcher iii. every now and then he makes charity streams. he also makes special lives with other gamers and figures where they play games like among us, minecraft, fortnite (though he absolutely hates it), party animals, fall guys and other party games. ― despite the rumours around him and his parents, he’s never talked about them to the media. it’s not like chance hides the information, after all it’s online, but he swerves questions about them and pretty much decides to not say anything about them just to avoid controversy. his parents didn’t mind until last year the company they worked at offered him a sponsorship and yohan turned it down. it’s safe to say they were pretty hurt over this and they haven’t talked much recently. ― yohan is, in his words, the biggest fan of spiderman (not really) but he’s his favorite heroe of all times and he collects everything and anything that has him in it. his biggest collection is funko pops with over 30+ figurines. he collects funkos of various other interests of him as well as enamel pins. ― lowkey a weeb. he likes watching anime in his spare time and if he likes it too much, he’d buy the manga and read it as well. his latest obsessions are kimetsu no yaiba, boku no hero academia, haikyu and jujutsu kaisen. ― won’t ever admit this out loud, but almost every ghibli movie makes him cry his eyes out, even when he’s watched the same one over and over again. he prefers to watch these on his own. his favorite one is grave of the fireflies. ― it took him a while to get used to korean culture, a part of him is still trying to. luckily, his family would speak in korean in their household most of the time and this helped him not struggle as much when it came to the language. his streams are most of the time in english to cater to a bigger audience, but recently he’s got himself a small team of an editor and a translator that’s helped him add subtitles to the videos he uploads in youtube. ― his current setup is completely sponsored except for a few extra things he’s bought himself and he has minimal experience when it comes to builds, though he’s really interested in learning and has recently researched more about the whole topic, hoping to get his first custom build by the end of the year. ― has terrible road rage and this is the reason why he doesn’t own a car or a driving license, even being in the backseat makes him anxious and would much rather prefer to use the bus, a bike or his skateboard to commute between places. taxis and other rides are his last option, if he’s quite honest. ― as a neighbour, he’s polite and tries to be mindful just to avoid needless problems. the first thing he did was soundproof his office in order to not disrupt others, but sometimes this doesn’t work as well due to how loud he can be. chance will try to greet every neighbour he encounters either with a wave or a simple nod. ― loves dogs but doesn’t feel he’s responsible enough to take care of one yet, though he will certainly volunteer to pet-sit his friends’ dogs.

wanted connections:

― life in seoul: he’s been wanting to start a podcast that has nothing to do with his main channel, aka a podcast about the culture in seoul from different perspectives, he wants to know about other people’s experiences. can be people that have lived all their life here or foreigners that, like himself, are pretty much new or can’t get enough of the city. it’d be a pretty chill podcast and anyone can participate! ― people that know about him and lowkey follow his streams (or just play them in the background while doing other stuff) ― or people that know about him but dislike him because he’s said stuff before about other public figures you’re a fan of. or he just simply rubs you the wrong way. ― people who absolutely hates when he streams late at night and he’s full on screaming at the screen (he tried to soundproof his streaming room but someone he can be way too loud, sorry) ― he’s always up for a good collaboration regardless of the topic: food, art, random tags and challenges. even if it's not up to his alley, he's likely to always say yes just for the laughs. ― the group of friends yohan met in different ways. they're not all strictly gamers, streamers or anything of the sort, but whenever they get together to play some games, it's a total chaos. and he wouldn't change it at all. ― the one person that always gets his packages delivered by mistake to your place instead of his. or the other way around. ― more: friends, enemies, a penpal, a platonic soulmate, workout buddies, etc.

[gigslist]

34+ Voiceover Roles & 3 Musician Open Calls - Work From Home - Paid

'F*cking Sober' Podcast

22 + Roles

3 Open Calls for Musicians With Their Own Music

PAID WORK FROM HOME NON UNION

Deadline : September 15, 2021 2:00 PM

Somehow9am Productions // F*cking Sober: the first 90 days Podcast

Katie Mack, coord.

:"A call for artists in recovery for the 2nd Season of The Webby Award Winning Podcast Series 'F*cking Sober: the first 90 days.' We are looking for voice over talent and musicians/music producers for 'FS: Shadai.' 'F*cking Sober' is a semi-comedic mostly non-fictional narrative podcast following Shadai’s first 90 days of getting sober. Thirty-five year old Shadai is the black, queer, strong female in advertising— so what if she keeps shots in her bra for between meetings, right? But after a shitshow holiday party, a fuzzy cop encounter, and a disaster presentation with the new big account, Dry January doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Maybe Dry Forever is better. This is what it looks, acts, and feels like to get f*cking sober. This 8 episode serialized show features music by artists with their own story with recovery. F*cking Sober Season 1: Anita has received 15k downloads since it’s release in Nov 2020, and received a 2021 Webby Nomination for Best Limited Series, and a Webby Win for Best Writing for a Podcast. At this time we are only looking to work with artists who have a relationship/understanding of recovery. Please follow instructions for submitting and what to include in the cover letter to be considered! Thank you! Listen to Season 1 to get the vibe: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/f-cking-sober-the-first-90-days/id1538804959?i=1000499155627 And check out: www.fckingsoberpodcast.com @fckingsober90_podcast More information about Somehow9am Productions & Katie Mack (Producer): www.somehow9amproductions.com www.mackstage.com"

Roles

Shadai (Voiceover): Female, 18+WORK FROM HOMEproduction states: "Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY! 35 year old, black, queer, cis gender female attorney with a dry sense of humor, who has strong opinions and shares them sometimes, is a powerhouse and knows it all… until… until she doesn’t. Please note your experience with improv/comedy in your cover letter If you have writing experience or are interested in writing please note this in your cover letter. We will be giving writing credits to the right candidate who desires to contribute to the molding of this character."Required Media: Voice Reel

Other Characters (Voiceover): 20-70

"Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY! We are looking for diversity in every sense of the word, from all genders, to ages, to ethnicities, to lived experiences, to food preferences!! In short, we are looking to cast dope, interesting people. Looking to cast various characters through out the S2 Shadai, including but not limited to:

Dad (black, army veteran, a dad’s dad)

Mom (black, hyper critical, the opposite of Shadai)

Dana (any ethnicity, work enemy)

Coco (white, work bestie)

JewBoo aka Therapist (Jewish, confidant, motherly, with a special sense of humor)

Miriam (black, best friend and ex-lover who tells it like it is)

Galen (white, gay, best friend who is warm and caring and pushy)

15 other characters Please note any experience you may have with comedy/improv if any. Please submit your reel along with your cover letter."Required Media: Voice Reel, Cover Letter

Musicians (BIPOC Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from BIPOC identifying artists.

Musicians (Queer Identifying Artist in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music by Queer Artists.

Musicians (Non-BIPOC/Non-Queer Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from non-BIPOC or non-Queer Identifying Artists in recovery.

"To be produced over the course of October 2021 - January 2022 Shadai’s commitment is estimated at two hrs/wk. Other characters 30mins. Musicians, all work should already exist. Please be prepared to send stems or stripped down tracks."

Compensation & Union Contract Details

Stipend: $25 - $75Production states: "Shadai (Lead Character), $550 for full season. All Other Characters: $25-$50 per episode. Musicians: $25-$75 per song per episode. Sync license contract."

Seeking talent: Nationwide (United States)

Website:http://www.fckingsoberpodcast.com

======================================

'Rain: Series III'

12 Voiceover Roles

PAID WORK FROM HOME NONUNION

Deadline: September 14, 2021 8:59 PM

JKPRising James Klim, filmmaker

Seeking voiceover talent for "Rain: Series III," a web-series, created in the video game Halo Reach on MCC via Xbox/PC. "This series will have a total of 13 episodes. I have many characters to cast, 12 specifically. If you wish to learn more about the show, you can check out my documentary series regarding the show. You can view the first episode here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlzPQvJS3og A little bit about me, I am a freelance filmmaker who actually got into film through making Halo videos as a kid when I was younger. You can check out some of my work here - www.jkprising.com/ I've always wanted to return to my roots & finish a series I was never able to before, but now I have the time to focus on it. This is a paid position. Rates depend on each character as some have more lines than others & vice versa. I am not the wealthiest person in the world, but I will to compensate each voice actor for their performance. My budget per character is between $100 - $300. This again, all varies per character. In this post, there is a video of what the character will look like in the series. I have also attached a single page from a random episode script from the show. The highlighted lines are what the character will say. There will also be non verbal lines highlighted, this is meant to be voiced kind of like an anime, where every movement usually has sounds. Typically, how would you make a sound if you did any of the following, head turn, turns around, surprised gasp, sighs, etc. Since this a paid gig, I am expecting a professional voice audition & if hired, continued professional audio. This means minimum to no background noise. The audio needs to be crisp."

Roles

Chloe Moody (Voiceover): Female, 18-35WORK FROM HOME29. Voice type: English/United Kingdom accent, polite, doesn't get mad often but when she does, she loses it, anxious, low self esteem, hopeful. Chloe Moody used to be a psychiatrist, but after the death of her soon to be husband, she spiraled into insanity. She met someone later on in life named Tom Rains, who looked exactly like her dead boyfriend. She became obsessed with him & tried to get with him, which sunk her further into a deep depression. She finally hit rock bottom, which causes her to seek out help from the very people she used to serve. Chloe meets a psychiatrist named Jennifer, who is able to help herself almost fully recover. Chloe eventually accidently runs back into Tom, which triggers Chloe to try one last time. After a final rejection, Chloe comes to the realization that she is not redeemable & decides to take her own life in front of Tom. Chloe's death, triggers a massive event for Tom Rains, which has massive ramifications for the series. Chloe is a major character and will appear in a couple episodes.Languages:

English

Accents:

British

Australian

Voice Styles:

Soft

Softspoken

Crazy

Compassionate

Sad

Angry

Required Media: Voice Reel

Dark Daryl (Voiceover): Male, 18-40WORK FROM HOME

32, voice type: Very dark presence, evil. sadistic, look at examples like Yami Marik from the Original Yu-Gi-Oh - www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xaa_ycud6o, manic, darkness. Dark Daryl is the darkness of his original persona, Daryl. Daryl accidentally acquired a powerful technology known as an imperium. This caused Daryl to lose himself to it at some point & was taken over by an alternate personality named, The Professor, which caused tons of damage. When Daryl came back to his senses, the damage had been done & others abandoned him, which caused him to grow angry at something that he didn't consciously do. Daryl once again loses himself to the imperium, which turns into Dark Daryl, a representation of all the anger & hatred he endured over the course of his past uncontrollable actions. Dark Daryl is very aggressive, sadistic & wants to destroy the people who wronged him in the past. Eventually, he comes face to face with Daryl & fights to stay as the one who remains in control, even if that means killing Daryl & anyone who gets in his way. Dark Daryl is a character who appears in the second half of the show, & becomes the series main villain. He will appear in many episodes.

Languages:

English

Voice Styles:

Aggressive

Angry

Evil

Commanding

Straightforward

Scary

Dangerous

Intimidating

Demonic

Required Media: Voice Reel

Nikki (Voiceover): Female, 18-35 WORK FROM HOME

25. Voice type: Energetic, passionate, caring, open-minded, loving, positive, independent, fighter. Nikki used to date Tom Rains. She didn't really have much going for her, as she had no ambition at all during that time of her life. After Tom broke up with her, this was quite the shock to Nikki. It caused her to really dive deep within herself & from that moment, she tried to learn more about herself. She discovered a love for storytelling, & so went into journalism. Nikki is now dating Jennifer & they have been together for almost a year. Nikki eventually gets wrapped up in a major conspiracy, which drags many of her friends in with her. She is in for the story of her entire career. Nikki is a major character and will appear in many episodes.

Languages:

English

Voice Styles:

Comforting

Compassionate

Caring

Amusing

Animated

Brave

Heroic

Required Media: Voice Reel

Talent works remotely with professional recording equipment.

Professional Pay: $100 - $300Pays between $100-$300 depending on character.

Nationwide (United States)

Additional Materials

Website: https://www.jkprising.com/

Nikki Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/7f95c65b-ab53-43d3-a66b-9e59d1041acb.pdf

Dark Daryl Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/00cfdf46-84c1-4da6-9dee-91c7bcdeed3d.pdf

Chloe Moody Audition.pdf https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/186cbe9e-9c7e-4ce5-bcbe-2407a9dec00b.pdf

[into-control]

🌹 camren recap of 2019: part 1 (january - march)

(1) (2) (3) (4)

this post contains almost everything to do with camren in 2019*. it also includes things about their respective PRs from this year, when relevant, and a little bit of OT5 is sprinkled in as well. this year i am keeping things in chronological order unlike last year, and entries that take place over the course of multiple days will be grouped together according to the first day.

*disclaimer: some of these things very well may be coincidences, but are included anyways because we all love lauren and camila’s synchronicity.

without further adieu, let the games begin!

january 4th:

at the beginning of january, lauren went on a vacation to a resort in sedona, arizona. while it was mostly a trip dedicated to herself, it was highly speculated among the community that camila visited her. during this time, camila tweeted this, on the day she possibly returned home to miami:

what’s more is that during the entire duration of lauren’s stay in sedona, camila’s spotify activity (which at the time was always public) was set to private. on the day lauren returned (january 7th), so did the spotify activity:

january 5th:

lauren and camila were active on instagram at the same time:

(more of a sync moment)

january 6th:

dinah liked an instagram post with a peculiar caption:

january 7th:

about 12 hours after lauren posted a song on her story, camila listened to it on spotify:

on january 25th, lauren referenced the song again:

january 8th:

dinah reposted someone else’s post on her story where havana is playing in the background:

on the same day, lauren did an IG live where she told everyone she wrote more than that 2-3 years ago. previously lauren had lied about when she started writing music:

this can be further supported because in a story in 2017, lauren says she likes to write music in a bathroom.

january 11th:

in the instagram live to celebrate the release of more than that, lauren showed off the new earrings that were gifted to her on christmas. at first she simply said ‘baby’ got them for her, but then she panicked and clarified that person she was talking about is ty, and she looked disgusted to say it. link. because of this unneeded coverup, those earrings were likely from camila.

in other news, dinah liked something somewhat suggestive involving the sun and moon:

january 12th:

this is where camila’s lies began. in order to push the narrative that matthew was her first real relationship, on the anniversary of CAMILA, she said that the songs on the album were not based on real relationships:

we know that to be false for many reasons, but mainly because she said the exact opposite thing herself in her zach sang interview about a year earlier.

besides the anniversary of CAMILA, britney spears celebrated the 20th anniversary of baby one more time on the same day. lauren just so happened to follow her and like her post about it:

though a reach, it was speculated that this was a nod towards camila and not only britney.

january 15th:

lauren kind of shaded her label columbia by liking a post discussing how they don’t allow ‘risky’ material and that earl sweatshirt feels ‘free’ now that he isn’t signed to them:

that day, a low quality video of camila and matthew attempting to be affectionate in what looks to be a candid setting (which is isn’t) circulated:

the following day, lauren tweeted this, possibly directed at how inorganic PR relationships are:

january 17th

during the hilarity of the world record egg, jayecane on twitter gave themselves that display name, and camila followed them while they were obsessively spamming about lauren:

january 18th:

in an IG story about the more than that music video, the bad things music video was present in lauren’s suggestions:

taking youtube’s algorithm and bad things’ release date into consideration, this suggests that lauren frequently watches camila’s videos.

january 26th:

coincidence?

january 27th:

at 1:55pm EST, camila posted a video of a boy singing a song on her story, which included the lyrics “i’ll be right next to you”. link

exactly one minute later at 1:56pm, lauren posted this:

january 30th:

in her beats1 interview, lauren revealed that her and ty had spent three months apart in the spring/summer of 2018 when things got busy. however, lauren and ty were seen together at least once a month that year. creds to totallylost4you for compiling this evidence.

a slightly more fitting scenario would be lauren and camila being apart for three months at a time. the never be the same tour started in spring, and that, as well as the reputation stadium tour, carried on into the summer:

almost exactly three months after april 9th, camila had a week long break:

january 31st:

lauren told us to shut the fuck up:

same day, camila posted this to twitter and instagram:

about an hour later, lauren seemingly replied. as january was a rather quiet month for both girls, it felt less than coincidental for a lot of people:

on february 13th, lauren liked this post on instagram, which really sealed the deal:

this indirect went on to be a reference to dream of you off of romance.

february 8th:

camila listened to sweet disposition from one of her moon playlists:

february 10th (the GRAMMYs lightning round):

coincidence?

who are you talking about dinah?

dinah jane strikes again!

lauren’s turn now:

february 12th:

arturo sandoval, the trumpet player from the grammys havana performance, liked a camren post:

camila was on lauren’s IG feed (haha):

february 14th:

lauren put another tally on the prison wall. tara got fake internet mad.

perhaps the most amusing part of this day was that ‘lauren’ posted a video to her story identical to the one ty posted about 18 hours beforehand... in the middle of their dinner she was posting about. spoiler alert, someone accidentally posted the video that was only meant for ty to post on lauren’s story.

february 18/24th:

roses:

maybe a small coincidence:

camila’s got a ‘boyfriend’ anyway:

february 19th:

lauren and ty took a jarring picture at a party and lauren posted it on her story except it was the one where one of the owners of laurmilaupates photoshopped ty out of it:

february 21st:

lauren liked amber rose’s video of her son singing havana:

february 23rd:

lauren missed her banana-loving girlfriend:

february 24th:

camila took one of lauren’s books:

february 26th:

hello dinah:

march 2nd:

keep that fingernail trimmed camila:

march 3rd:

snippets of camila’s birthday post that stuck out (?!!!):

lauren loves camila to pisces pieces:

march 4th:

camila listened to sweet disposition again, this time on her ‘love’ playlist:

march 5th:

we see you lauren:

i know somebody with ocean eyes, camila...

march 13th:

shotty photoshop alert:

march 17/24th:

a little too in sync:

they might have also walked the same trail in LA:

march 28th:

alejandro sanz posted multiple teasers for mi persona favorita’s music video, but camila only liked the one featuring two women in a romantic relationship:

march 29th:

mike liked a video of someone painting lauren and mi persona favorita was playing in the background:

part 2

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Why So Jaded? Chapter 4

Chapter 4! In case you missed it, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3. FFN, AO3

Why So Jaded

Chapter 4

Sunday night Violet took the new medication according to the new prescriptions on the bottles and noticed if she took it as directed, it would last her about two months. Which she sadly figured she would be using up in half that time. But at least at first, she was going to follow the prescription.

Monday morning came and Violet came into work with a cheerful smile and more pep in her step than ever and looking particularly breathtaking.

"Don't you look stunning this morning." Phillip praised when he saw her come into his office that morning, her hair was down and in curls and her makeup was done exceptionally beautifully and her attire was more colorful and vibrant and flattering too.

"Well thanks to you, I had a great weekend and the new sleep aids and painkillers are working really well, like exquisitely well. I got a whole, glorious twelve hours of sleep last night, I felt like I was ancient for going to bed at seven pm but I needed it and woke up refreshed and invigorated and I feel great so bravo to the medical team, they are onto some winners as far as meds, this is my favorite batch yet." She appraised happily which got Phillip to smile gratefully and appreciatively and filled him with relief and happiness that she responded so well to the change. Maybe once she was on these meds for a little while and saw the marked improvement, she wouldn't kill him for going behind her back and using Mr. Pine to achieve the breakthrough.

"So what do we have for Mr. Pine this morning?" She asked as she got a new tablet and got it ready to receive new data since the last one was broken beyond repair.

"Uh nothing new. He is working on a new project though that he got over the weekend that he's coincidentally needing to use the medical lab for. So he's actually in the medical lab right now." Phillip carefully and vaguely informed her.

"Oh, ok." Violet shrugged, not thinking anything of it.

"Well it's almost nine, I better check in with him, see if he needs anything. I'll see you later." She offered before she uncharastically kissed his cheek sweetly.

"See you later Handsome." She offered before she left as Phillip practically lit up with excitement. Oh whatever she was on, she needed to keep on it because that felt incredibly genuinely affectionate to him and he was over the moon. Operation Wife was on!

Violet felt so amazing, she felt invigorated, refreshed and not a hint of pain in anything. She could even wear these heels and not feel uncomfortable in the least. She didn't feel like her senses were dulled at all, if anything they were sharper than they were before.

"Good morning Dr. Gjersoe, Mr. Pine." She greeted cheerfully as she came in as Dr. Gjersoe immediately buried her schematics so she wouldn't see them.

"Good morning." They mirrored as Buddy was impressed she still didn't want to kill him this morning.

"I came to check in this morning Mr. Pine, do you have a moment?" She asked thoughtfully, wanting him to have some privacy from everyone else in the medical lab.

"Uh, yeah, sure." He confirmed as he gave Dr. Gjersoe a meaningful glance before followed her out of the lab and into a private office nearby.

"So...do you still want to kill me this morning?" Buddy blurted out which made Violet look at him like he was crazy before she laughed.

"What? Oh, oh because of Friday, no, no, don't worry about it. I actually need to apologize to you because you were just...being a decent human being by showing some sympathy and I was the one who was out of line and I'm sorry." She genuinely offered and it was his turn to look at her like she was crazy.

"Uh...what?" Buddy asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Ok, let's clear the air." She suggested before she did something with the tablet that shut off the cameras and listening devices in the office so they could truly talk privately.

"Ok, so Leslie sent me the audio and video of the conversation you had with Mr. Sebastian after I left on Friday and I watched and listened to it several times. You're incredibly perceptive and I believe that you were being genuine with Mr. Sebastian when you were talking to him and I believe you. If you say that you harbor no ill will towards myself and my family and by the sounds of it, you've been to therapy yourself to come to the realization that you by all accounts were unbalanced and super obsessed with my father which in turn led to some really bad decisions on your part and you regret it and obviously I see some guilt and shame in your eyes even now. And the fact that you put up no argument making me your heir apparent. Tells me that you must have changed in the decade or so since we were last in each other's presence. And a decade can be a long time and a lot has changed since then for both of us and our circumstances are different. And when you told me that Syndrome died that day in the jet turbine, I didn't want to believe you but after that conversation you had with Mr. Sebastian, and if you will swear on Tali - that Syndrome will never, ever get resurrected and the only person I will or anyone else ever interact with from now on is just...Buddy Pine. Then that's all I n\eed. We're both adults and professionals. I believe in giving people enough rope to hang themselves on. So what do you say? Will you just be Buddy Pine, a colleague?" She offered her hand to him to shake.

"I will, And I swear on Natalia Octavia that Syndrome or any other Super persona I could ever invent will never see the light of day." Buddy swore before he shook her hand which got Violet to smile fondly at him which he soon mirrored.

"Good, also word of advice, never, ever imply that Mr. Sebastian has super powers again. The last few who have- are now six feet under. Also don't ever make any comments about my relationship with Mr. Sebastian either, don't hint or poke or question or anything to either him or myself or anyone else, because again, he's very touchy about it. I'm surprised he didn't seriously retaliate against you for it, at least yet anyway. You got lucky, don't press your luck again. Got it?" She urged him.

"Understood." Buddy nodded in agreement. "So, how are the new meds working out?" Buddy asked hopefully.

"How did you know I was given new meds?" Violet frowned as she folded her arms in front of herself.

"Uh...you...you said you saw the conversation, you didn't see Mr. Sebastian escorted me to the medical lab?" Buddy questioned.

"I...I did not. Are you telling me that you're working on my own medical issues? That my new medication...came from you?" Violet asked as she tried to resist the panic starting to whirl in her chest but despite the initial spike in anxiousness, it never grew from there. If anything- she was able to keep it stable instead of being overpowered by it.

"He didn't tell you?" Buddy asked with a wince and a grimace.

"No, not yet." Violet took a deep breath and with a calming breath and refocus, she was able to fully regain her composure and push down her anxiety which soon dissipated as she was once again, able to look at the bigger picture.

"Ok, so this is your new medical project and why you needed to be in the medical lab over the weekend and from now on, of course, of course , why didn't I put it together." She muttered as she took a step back and took a moment to come to terms with it before she took another step forward and faced him and fixed him with a questioning look.

"Can you cure me?" Violet asked.

"In theory, yes. But curing you while keeping all of your powers intact yet freeing you of the crippling pain is the biggest challenge. However it's a challenge I'm very familiar with. Thankfully progress has been made since I last tried to tackle it and there are new compounds being found and tested all the time. All I need is time." Buddy professed.

"How much time?"

"Could be weeks, could be months, maybe a year or two at the latest. But in order for it to be effective I and the other doctors need you to be completely honest with us about what's happening and what's hurting and what side effects you're feeling and experiencing and what's been working and what hasn't. We all want to help. And in order for us to help best, we have to know more than what you've given us previously." Buddy pleaded because Dr. Gjersoe had told him that Violet was a difficult patient because she was so dodgy and mistrusting and super vague in her answers.

"Look I completely understand your need for secrecy, I built an empire on it ok? And I realize that as a Super, secrecy keeps you alive and keeps you safe right?" Buddy questioned and Violet had to nod in agreement with that reasoning.

"But like you've said, if you can just trust us enough to help, give us just enough rope to hang ourselves on so we can help, that's all we want. We don't need to know your life story or anything. We just need to know things like side effects and effectiveness. And we both know you're closest to Mr. Sebastian and he's been our go between but he doesn't always know what and how to ask to get the answers we need." Buddy added.

"OK, ok, fine. I give. Just enough to hang you all on." Violet caved before she re-swipped the tablet to reverse the 'lockdown' mode before they left the room and went back to the medical suite as Violet let them question and poke and prod her all they needed to and answered their questions to the degree she felt comfortable with and what they needed and when they were done she left and returned to Phillip's office.

"Hey, you were gone a while, everything ok?" Phillip noted and the smile that Violet gave him told him that she was far from pleased. It was her 'I'm going to kick your ass' smile and it gave him dread.

"Yeah, I was in the medical wing letting Dr. Gjersoe and his team know how the new meds were working out." She answered as she came and handed him her tablet.

"By the way, I had a very enlightening discussion with Mr. Pine about what happened over the weekend and why exactly he's in the medical wing." Violet leveled as she folded her arms under her chest and popped her hip and fixed him with a look that made him feel two inches tall as Phillip pursed his lips and had a guilty expression.

"So, what you're going to do- is give me the same clearance you have, so that I can keep an eye on this situation myself because you should have asked me about bringing Mr. Pine into this and the only reason I'm not handing you your ass over this is because I know that you're just as desperate for a solution as I am. And then you are never going to circumvent me again. Because if you do- contracts be damned, I will be gone faster than you can blink and I will disappear and you will have to spend every penny you have ten times over in an effort to find me again and you still won't be able to. This situation - will never repeat or so help me God, I will go full supervillain on your ass and there will be nowhere- where you can hide from me. I hunt and kill for a living remember? And I'm the best there is. You're lucky that I am able to see the bigger picture this time and see your intentions, although good- the way you handled this was wrong. Otherwise, I would already be gone. Also, you will not be retaliating against anyone for this because this was all on you and you can't hold this against Mr. Pine because I didn't give him a choice other than to tell me the truth. Third. I have decided to give Mr. Pine just enough rope to hang himself on along with everyone in the medical wing but I need you to know and understand, that I am holding you personally responsible for what happens next with my healthcare. Are we clear?" She proposed.

"Yes." Phillip confirmed as he went ahead and did as she demanded of him with her tablet, grateful this wasn't nearly as bad as he figured it would be.

"Good, now, let's move forward. There's the expo in Vegas in a few weeks, I think we should go and bring Mr. Pine with us- I can get him a good handler and we can announce to the world that IRize and SEB Industries are collaborating, get some good press for both of you. And if in the next few weeks, Mr. Pine proves himself trustworthy. We put a deterrent bracelet and a pin on him to keep him from running and we'll get him a handler. And if he does well there, then we can take him to Hong Kong and Tokyo for those expos in a few months. It would keep him from getting too stir crazy." She suggested.

"I think that might work." Phillip agreed.

"Good." Violet smiled victoriously before she took her tablet back and went to the tech department to figure out what could be used for her ventures and made a few orders before she went back to her office to find an appropriate handler. They had to be trustworthy, competent, intelligent, strong and versatile as she narrowed down her search to a few options.

"Good evening Mr. Pine." Violet greeted when she came into his lab for her evening check in.

"Good evening Ms. Parr." Buddy mirrored as he came over and put the cookies he had made for them on the island she liked to do their check ins at. He noticed she tended to stay longer and actually chit chat when he had snacks for her. Today was a cookie day he felt as she happily took a cookie as a peace offering.

"So, do you have anything outstanding that you wish to report?" Violet began before she bit into the cookie and practically melted in her spot. She secretly thought it was awesome that Buddy not only could cook decently well, but could also bake and was surprisingly very self sufficient. He did all his own laundry and dishes and cooking and kept his space pretty clean which always impressed her because Phillip was a master in the boardroom- but completely useless in a domestic setting and she doubted he even knew where his dry-cleaners was on a map, let alone what clothes needed to be washed vs. dry cleaned.

"Other than the medical lab is making you a three to six month supply of your current medication that should be ready in a few days, no." He answered.

"Awesome." Violet smiled happily as she notated that.

"So, I have a proposition for you." She began as she got a stool and sat down on it as Buddy took her cue and got on his own stool on the other side of the island facing her as he got a cookie himself.

"Ms. Parr, I'm flattered but what would Mr. Sebastian think if he knew a young pretty thing like you was propositioning an old man like me?" Buddy teased as he pressed a hand to his chest as he pretended to be scandalized which got Violet to laugh which in turn got him to chuckle. Pleased he could make her laugh.

"I walked right into that." Violet realized as she just shook her head.

"Anyway- so, on account that you appear to be very settled in, to the point you are already completely unpacked and you've sorted your tools and rearranged your living space- twice. I suspect that you are already showing signs of becoming a little stir crazy." Violet ventured.

"Dang it, I was hoping it wasn't that noticeable." Buddy murmured as he snapped his fingers sarcastically. God she was especially gorgeous today, he was practically swooning. He could smell the products she used in her hair and perfume she sprayed that morning as it lingered on her person. It was like someone brought a bouquet of flowers into an operating room because the lab he liked to keep clean, sanitized and sterilized. And while she was a Super, she brought a human element to this environment that he appreciated.

"Well, I may have a solution for you. So as you know, there is a tech expo in Vegas in a few weeks that IRize was supposed to have been invited to go to. I suggested to Mr. Sebastian for you to come with us and we can make an announcement of the collaboration." She began.

"What's the catch? Cause there's always a catch with something like this." Buddy asked with a puzzled frown.

"The catch is you will be wearing something like this the whole time." She said as she pulled the watch out of her pocket and put it on the counter and slid it to him before he picked it up and looked it over and resisted the urge to take it apart.

"Think of it like a shock collar for a dog to stay in an invisible fence. You will technologically tethered to your handler. But it would let you out of here and give you a tiny bit more freedom and hopefully you won't feel too stir crazy. And if that goes well and you don't hang yourself on that length of rope, then you can get another length of rope when could go to Hong Kong in a few months." She revealed to him.

"Would you be my handler?" Buddy asked hopefully.

"No, I'm already Mr. Sebastian's handler, I don't pull double duty, neither you or him could ever pay me enough." Violet smiled smugly.

"Oh come on, I would behave, I promise." Buddy vowed.

"Yeah I'm sure you would. But I can't say the same for Mr. Sebastian. My hands are already full if not threatening to overflow with just him. So I will be getting a handler for you." Violet maintained.

"So, all I need from you- is your word not to run or try to escape or make any S.O.S signals or anything like that, also a script will be provided to you for all press you would have and if you would need any new attire for this trip, that can also be arranged." She offered.

"And a haircut please." Buddy proposed as he ran his fingers through is hair, noting how it could use a trim.

"That can be arranged as well." Violet nodded as she made notes about it.

"The suit shop and tailor I like to use the most is Black Orchid and they will need at least two weeks to create your suits, would you like your haircut then or would you prefer to have it right before you leave?" Violet inquired.

"It can get cut then, might as well do it all at once while we're out." Buddy decided.

"Ok. Now for this particular outing, when we get your suits measured and ordered, I will be your handler and you will have your own security detail who will be armed with live rounds and you will be wearing a deterrent as well that will be tethered to me. Meaning you leave my side any other reason other than to relieve yourself, by a distance of more than fifty feet and at the least- you'll lose a limb, at the most- it will kill you. Do you understand?" Violet warned him evenly.

"Yes Ma'am." Buddy nodded in agreement.

"Great, now, what day this week would you prefer to go?" Violet asked between bites of her cookie.

"Any day that works for you." Buddy answered.

"Let's go Wednesday, give those tailors an extra few days on those suits." Violet proposed.

"Sounds great." Buddy grinned.

Buddy was absolutely giddy for the opportunity to go on an outing, let alone with Violet, he didn't care if a hundred henchmen joined them. He had to stay within fifty feet of her. Hell he would happily stay within five. The closer the better.

Wednesday morning Violet along with only two henchmen arrived at 9:15 a.m.

"Good morning Mr. Pine, are you ready to go?" She asked as she came in with two henchmen trailing her.

"Yes." Buddy answered as he came out of the 'apartment' section of his lab. Dressed and ready to go.

"Awesome. Before we go, there are a few things we need to go over. First- this is Mr. Leland and Mr. Nelson they will be our security detail, they will protect us while we're out but they will not hesitate to rock your shit if you step out of line." Violet informed him.

"Ok." Buddy nodded, amused at her choice of words.

"Also this is one of the tethers." She said as she presented him with the watch before Buddy took the one he was already wearing off and presented his wrist to her so she could put it on before she did, locking it with her thumb print on the face of the watch as it sized itself to his wrist and locked itself into his biometrics.

"And this is the other." Violet said as she took a pin from the same box in as the watch since it was with the watch and matched it style and fastened it to his shirt.

"The pin is your own passkey in the building." Violet informed him.

"Snazzy." Buddy appraised as he looked at it appreciatively which got Violet to snort a laugh and him to grin a little wider.

"OK, the next order of business is the safety protocol. If at any point our safety is compromised or something is going down or sideways, we're being ambushed or there's an assassination attempt or anything like that or even in the occurrence of someone imposter-ing myself or you or anyone else- there's a safety word I will use to positively identify you and everyone else. So I need you to think of a word that you can say quickly and easily to make sure that you're you." Violet urged him.

"Ok, what's the safe word?" Buddy asked.

"Twatwaffle." Violet informed him which got Buddy to bust out laughing.

"What? Of all the words in all the languages, our lives could be in danger and you're going to yell 'twatwaffle'?" Buddy asked incredulously. "You're serious? You're being serious right now?" Buddy prodded.

"Yeah, it has saved our collective asses repeatedly because everyone tries to think of really "cool" names to use that no one remembers in the heat of the moment. But in a life or death situation, you need the ludicrous and the unexpected but memorable to save your bacon. So when and if I ever have to use the "Twatwaffle" protocol. What will be your response? Because again, Mr. Nelson and Mr. Leland will also need to know it to make sure you are you and not an imposter or that I'm not an imposter." Violet maintained.

"Jesus, ok. Uh, if you're going to yell 'twatwaffle' I guess I could reply with Shmoke, like 'would you like a shmoke and a pancake?." Buddy replied because his brain couldn't think of anything else.

"Shmoke it is." Violet nodded as she put that in with a grin.

"OK, now we can go." Violet said as she then put the tablet into her bag and turned and left and walked out of there with Buddy walking only a step behind her with Mr. Nelson and Mr. Leland a step behind him before they went down the elevator to the SUV where Mr. Leland and Mr. Nelson opened the car doors for Violet and Buddy to get into the backseat before Mr. Leland got in the drivers side and Mr. Nelson got in the passenger side and they went to Black Orchid which was the best suit shop and tailor's in the city while Violet had an extra specialist to come in for the suit fittings.

"Miss Parr, always a pleasure to have you here." The shop owner Mr. Sudwar greeted as he came and shook her hand and kissed her cheeks as she did the same with a sweet adoring smile.

"Mr. Sudwar, it's always a pleasure to be here, especially when it's with you." Violet replied charmingly.

"Is Mr. Sebastian needing anything?" He asked.

"Not today, this is his new dear friend and close colleague though, Mr. Pine, and it is him that we are fitting out today under Mr. Sebastian's suggestion and highest recommendation." Violet introduced.

"Any friend and colleague of Mr. Sebastian's is one of mine. What can I do for you Mr. Pine?" He asked hopefully.

"The works." Violet answered for Buddy.

"Oh, well then right this way." Mr. Sudwar ushered Buddy before another man came to stand next to Violet.

"Mademoiselle." He greeted.

"Benny, thank you so much for coming on such short notice. How are you?" Violet greeted as she gave him a hug.

"I'm doing well. Always a pleasure to hear from you." He answered.

"Oh good, so I have a favor to ask- in three and a half weeks, Mr. Pine will be accompanying Mr. Sebastian and myself to an expo in Vegas and possibly Tokyo and Hong Kong a few months after that. So I need to have the same precautions and safety features on Mr. Pine's suits that Mr. Sebastian does. Because while Mr. Sebastian is my asset, Mr. Pine is Mr. Sebastian's so therefore he is mine as well. And I need to make sure that while we're vulnerable in the public, Mr. Pine won't be that exposed." Violet specified with a meaningful look.

"I can make that happen, but for the time frame, I'll need a 15% increase in my usual fee." Benny proposed.

"Make it twenty. It's all on Mr. Sebastian's dime anyway." Violet insisted with a flip of her hand.

"You got it." Benny nodded as he brought up a card reader and Violet got Phillip's business credit card out and swiped it before he got her a receipt and handed it to her.

"Thank you Benny, we should get lunch soon, bring the family, I haven't seen Annie and Maddox in forever." She suggested.

"Name the time and place." Benny urged.

"Anabel's', say noon tomorrow?" Violet suggested.

"It's a date, we'll be there." Benny grinned before he left and got his own materials and went back into the work shop part of the shop to work with the tailors just as Buddy was put into his first suit as Mr. Sudwar made his measurements and suggestions for the look of suit that would look best on Buddy, make him appear taller than he was because Buddy was on the shorter, stockier side as Violet came into the room where Buddy was up on the podium to appraise him herself, tilting her head to the side and noting how fair he was along with the shade of orangish red his hair was and made the mental notes of what suit colors would compliment him best.

"Miss Parr? What are your thoughts?" Mr. Sudwar asked as he also took notes of what she seemed to be drawn to on the fabric swatches before she brought them over to them and held them up to Buddy and Buddy was struck by how thoughtful Violet was being as she picked the perfect colors to compliment him and how she was already up to date with all the trends as she then made sure he would have all the shirts and ties he would ever need in a lifetime as she went through the place with a fine toothed comb and found all kinds of little gems to make Buddy shine like a star and Buddy was supremely flattered as he simply let her do as she pleased and always agreed with her suggestions. Because her taste was exquisite and flawless and he found it was sentimental that she went through so much trouble to make sure he looked good. If he had the opportunity, he would have reached out to Edna to create Violet a wardrobe of gowns and whatever else she wanted, if only it would match all of this.

And by the time they were done, they went out to lunch, Buddy eternally grateful it was actual fine dining and not take out. After lunch, she took him to Vers, a male spa that Mr. Sebastian and his staff and most of the male members of his company also frequented. Where Buddy also got not just a haircut but manicure and pedicure and even a massage and a facial which he hadn't gotten in what felt like forever and when they were done with that, they all went out to dinner. At a proper high end steak house and Buddy happily gorged himself on wagyu beef and when he was good and satisfied did they return to SEB industries as Mr. Nelson and Mr. Leland helped take Buddy's new things to his floor.

"I got it from here guys, thank you so much for your services today." Violet dismissed them as they nodded and left.

"You did good today Mr. Pine," Violet praised as she took the pin off his jacket and put it away before she took the watch off and put that into its case as well.

"I never realized you had such exquisite taste." Buddy praised as Violet helped bring his things into the apartment side of the floor which was in all reality like a high rise apartment.

"I've learned from the best. And having Mr. Sebastian as an asset, I've learned a thing or two about the way high society people look, act, dress and behave. I'd be a fool not to pick up on at least some of it." Violet professed as she put his clothing bags on his perfectly made bed for him to put away.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Buddy felt compelled to ask as he put his other things next to it on the bed as well, appreciating the intimate setting. And if circumstances were different, he wished there wasn't at least six cameras on them and they could really be alone. But the way Violet paused and looked away and bit and chewed her bottom lip and fidgeted with her perfectly manicured nails, was adorable, if not incredibly endearing and Buddy just got a sense that he was finally seeing just a little glimpse of the real her.

"Because a cage is a cage- no matter how gilded. If you can find contentment and a measure of happiness in it, the less likely you'll be to try to break out of it." Violet said simply with a sad smile as Buddy suddenly was struck by the truth of the situation. Violet was obviously just as much of a prisoner that he was. That's why she was being nice. She had been living like this for a year. He was barely in a month. She was coming from experience. This is how she was surviving it as he also wondered if that's what Tali had been feeling. And why she was always keen on missions. She wanted to break free just as much Violet did.

"How gilded is your cage?" Buddy asked as he shoved his hands in his pockets to keep himself from reaching out to her.

"A bit more so than yours, and a little bigger. But a cage nonetheless. I don't know how the next handler to Mr. Sebastian will treat you. This is my last assignment before permanent retirement. And I want it to be my best work. And I want it done right. And being kind, and showing sympathy and empathy are the best ways I've found to do it. I know three years seems like a long time. And I'll only be here for two of those three. And I have a feeling that last one will be the hardest. I can only hope my replacement will treat you with respect and dignity. You deserve it. Goodnight Mr. Pine." She bid him before she stepped around him, simply reaching out her hand to gently move him out of her way so she could get out of there because if she stayed any longer and talked any more about this, she would get in trouble in more ways than one.

"Violet?" Buddy called after her as she turned to look at him questioningly.

"You deserve better too. A gilded cage is no place for you either." Buddy professed as he had turned with her and was facing her once again.

"I know, we will just have to make the most of it won't we Mr. Pine? In our side by side cages." Violet urged as she picked her head up high with a fond and understanding smile.

"We will." Buddy nodded in agreement.

"Good night Ms. Parr, thank you, for everything today." Buddy graciously thanked her.

"You're welcome." Violet nodded before she saw herself out and dropped off what she needed off at the tech department and used the long walks from Buddy's apartment to the tech department to rein in her own emotions and reinforce her composure.

"So how was today?" Phillip asked as he came by her office to see her off.

"It was really good, it worked beautifully. He won't want to break free any time soon. He'll be happy and content for a while. Although I think if we make outings a regular thing for him, that'll be the best thing for the situation." Violet mused.

"I noticed your sympathetic "gilded cage" worked like a charm. He was practically eating out your hand." Phillip noted proudly and Violet could only huff a laugh. Of course he would think that was a manipulation. Everything was a manipulation to him. Even though Violet had been genuine in that sentiment.

"It did." Violet had to admit.

"Do you think there's a danger of you two getting too close?" Phillip questioned as he began to second guess his decision to have his 'pet' be their liaison.

"No. All Mr. Pine sees when he looks at me is Mirage 2.0. Mirage took care of everything for him, from picking out his attire, to managing his life practically, I saw it when I was suit shopping with him and picking shirts and ties out for him. He agreed with every decision I made and never argued or had a difference once, I'm surprised he didn't slip and call me by her name. And how he is with me is how he was with her before she betrayed him. Which is good, it's right where you and I want and need him to be." Violet assured Phillip. Because if she could make him believe that. The more freedoms he would perhaps grant Buddy.

"You're amazing, you know that?" Phillip praised.

"Thank you, see you tomorrow Phillip. Good night." She cooed with a sweet kiss before she left her office and went to her apartment. She got ready for bed and she thought of all the ways she could help Buddy stand his confinement better because as strange as it was. She had so much in common with him. They were practically in side by side cages at this point. She hated all the 31 cameras and listening devices in her apartment that she knew Phillip put there to keep an eye on her behind her back and she had simply learned to never let the 'act' down. She hated all the bugs and chips in all of her electronics and her vehicles. She hated how even when she went on missions. There was always SEB tech with her and even then it was like Phillip was always there and she couldn't escape him. It was why every other Super before her had quit. It was why finding a replacement anytime soon was nigh impossible. It made hiding her escape routes and hiding her back up plans from him as hard as it was but thankfully, not impossible. And while charming Phillip had brought her some freedoms and trust. It wasn't complete. And until Phillip eased up and stopped all of this surveillance on her, that she could never, ever give herself to him. And why she could never love him. Love without trust wasn't love. Love without faith, fidelity or commitment or compromise wasn't love either and while she had some power in the relationship, Phillip had the bigger share and the final word. But this was the only way she had found she could survive. And part of her reached out to Buddy. Because if she could make sure he would make it and survive this, then she could too. She wasn't alone, and that gave her hope.

Meanwhile Buddy was laying in bed and staring up at his ceiling, ignoring the tears streaking the sides of his head. How did he not see that Violet was just as much of a prisoner that he was? He remembered the lengths he kept his own employees under surveillance and his gut was screaming at him that that was nothing compared to the lengths Phillip probably went to. If he had to bet- he would bet her place was at least bugged. Phillip probably kept her watched so closely. To the point she probably felt like she couldn't breathe without Phillip knowing about it. The poor thing was just used to it by now. What could he do to help her though? This was the true challenge. How to get them both out of this alive.

Even if after her time here was up, if  she was able to disappear and he never saw her again- but she could have a life of freedom and never be watched ever again. That would be enough for him. He just needed to think outside the box.

[yoshimickster]

What I feel would’ve improved StarVS(part two of a few)

Hey, its Mick again, how hangs it? Its weird that I’m both criticizing a show I still somewhat like, as WELL as giving off a list of things that I feel would improve it BEFORE its finale, but I feel its still worth talking about. Today I’m gonna talk about the forgotten Los Angeles suburb that we all miss-

-Echo Creek, settled on the battlefield of a massive opossum war, this charming town is composed of several gi-GANTIC hills that people thought putting houses on was a good idea because its Los Angeles. With that, I’m going to point out all the forgotten characters in the show, and how they could’ve EASILY stayed in the show, or how they could’ve been improved while they were still there. 

FIRST OFF-

-Ferguson and Alphonso. Many wondered where the HELL they went in season 2 after having prominent roles as side characters in season 1. The answer is that they were BANISHED due to the creators being able to write more of the original story they WANTED to write, that never featured them. As you may or may not  know, Alphonso and Ferguson were never meant to be a part of the show, Disney made the writers squeeze them in because they wanted Marco to have male best friends as for whatever dumb reason they thought a show with a female-centric cast wouldn’t sell as much. SPOILER ALERT-it totally sold as much, and once they got the season 2 order Alphonso and Ferguson were PRETTY much out.

How they could’ve been improved: Now once again I understand WHY they were written out, but the fact of the matter is that while the writers hated them, the fans didn’t, hell in one of the comics-

-they were even ADVERSTISED to be in it! They were THAT much of a draw. Ultimately, what I feel would’ve improved their characters if the show straight up ACKNOWLEDGED that they weren’t supposed to be in the story, like maybe have them gone for only half or a quarter of the season, and then explain that Omnitraxis took them out of the space time continuum as they never truly belonged. Either that or just...keep them in normal style and develop them beyond the role of “Funny fat friend” and “Funny foreign friend” respectively, but what do I know?

How they could’ve stayed: The EASY answer is having them be squires to Star as well, allowing them to become just as kick ass as their best pal Marco...buuuuuuuuuuuut there’s a better answer: LET MARCO VISIT HIS FREAKING FRIENDS! Remember in “Marco Jr” how the Diazes gave him crap for not visiting as much? THAT-was a valid ass point considering oh I don’t know-HE OWNS MAGICAL SCISSORS(another reason to hate the original “Neverzone” deal because him getting his own scissors wasn’t NEEDED). He could’ve visited home at ANY time, caught up with his besties, solve a mystery or something, but NO-the bulk of Marco’s arcs in seasons 3 and 4 are pri-MARILY romance based. I would’ve taken like ONE episode of him catching up with his friends, ALL I need, BUT because the writers washed their hands of Echo Creek we’ll never get that chance.

NEXT UP-two characters that are...dis-TURBINGLY the same.

BRITTNEY Wong, the spoiled mean girl head cheerleader in literally every high school story that’s EVER existed because status quo-

-and Jeremy Birnbaum, Marco’s pint-sized karate rival.

How they could’ve been improved: Literally ANYTHING that would the two of them past basic bitch bullies. Now Jeremy had a LITTLE bit of development in “All Belts are Off” in explaining the reason he even HAS a black  belt is because his parents practically bribe Sensei Brantley...much like how Brittney’s father bribed the school to make her...head cheerleader-DEAR GOD-they’re both the exact same character if you think about it! Honestly, just have Brittney and/or Jeremy bond with their rival Star and/or Marco in some way or fashion that either quells or AMPLIFIES the rivalry. Hell, I’m amazed Jeremy never tried to TRULY get back at Marco after “Monster Arm”, give the kid some credit for only enacting petty pranks.

How they could’ve stayed: Okay with Brittney the answer isn’t so much obvious as it is HILARIOUS. You know how Rich Pigeon’s family became royal SOLELY because their insanely rich? Same thing, just have her dad straight up BUY a kingdom and she becomes a princess. Don’t lie, that’d be hilarious. And with Jeremy, I think he should’ve gone full on kung fu rival after realizing EVERY accomplishment he ever had was because his parents bought it for him. He can’t handle that he’s not special, and because of that turns to the DARK side! Plenty of ways to go with him.

NEXT UP-

OSKAR GREASON(thought it was Gleason for years)-the boring love interest of Star Butterfly whom she BARELY bonded with in seasons 1 and 2, and was only there to exist!

How he could’ve improved: You know how Marco and Jackie slowly bonded over seasons 1 and 2, how they developed as an actual couple, RIGHT up to the very end? THAT-but with Oskar. Have her go on like, a FEW dates with him, HELL-have them double date making Star realize how little she actually cares for him and have THAT be the point where she realizes she likes Marco! GRAH-freaking waste of a love interest, as well as a generally amusing character.

How he could’ve stayed: Musical apprentice to Ruberiot, easy. Have it be really awkward since Star used to crush on him, yadda yadda, writes itself.

NEXTAH-

Sensei (Brantley) Marco’s dimwitted but lovable sensei!

How he could’ve improved: HONESTLY-he personally as a character needs to improve the least from a story standpoint, he had a pretty funny mini-arc in being a fraud of a karate teacher, somehow getting away with every lesson BEFORE the red belt, it works. A concept that SHOULD’VE been more explored was his friendship with Marco, maybe have the two improve their martial arts together to become CHAMPIONS of justice!

How he could’ve stayed: Become a squire with Marco, easy. No more to say there.

NEEEEEEEEEEEERXT-

MISS MARGARET SKULLNICK-the strict, yet caring school teacher to Star Butterfly and her other classmates! She’s a bad ass troll school teacher, what MORE do you want?!

How she could’ve been improved: Nothing, because she was fucking awesome and underrated.

How she could’ve stayed: FREAKING TUTOR TO STAR AND MARCO! I KNOW the writers think all the magical Mewni nonsense trumps the school aspect but...WHEN THE HELL ARE ANY OF THE KIDS GOING TO SCHOOL ANY MORE?! They could’ve EASILY had an ep where like, Star misses school or something, and then gets her math checked up on by Miss Skullnick, I don’t know I just miss the bad ass troll lady! 

TXEN-

Starfan13, the whacky Star Butterfly fangirl who is also voiced by show creator Daron Nefcy!

How she could’ve been improved: The biggest problem with her is that outside of Star being shown to be bi in season 4, most representations of queer rep in the show are of nameless background characters. THE EXCEPTION-Starfan13, who has a DEFINITE crush on Star. The problem is obvious, said crush is only mentioned once throughout the series, and is never brought up again. Maybe have Starfan13 try to get over Star with another crush, but ultimately that fails because she becomes Janicefan13, basically absorbing the supposed persona of her obsession. Have her go through a real personal arc realizing that before she can obsess about others, she should become obsessed with her-SELF...I worded that horribly, LOVE herself. Also, do we know her ACTUAL first name? Four seasons and we only know her social media handle, what’s up with that?

How she could’ve stayed: Pretty much the same “Getting over Star and learning to love herself” story-BUT-where she somehow follows Star to Mewni and is still as obsessed with her. Honestly, isn’t it STRANGE that the writers never thought about that with her? She’s the most fan-girly fangirl of ALL time, you think the physical borders between realities would stop HER?! Just unrealistic.

FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

Principal Edwin Bonner-Skeeves, easily bribed public servant of Echo Creek.

How he could’ve been improved: Go to jail. Look this guy got bribed canonically TWICE in the show, whose to say he wasn’t bribed several other times? Then he gets replaced by...Miss...Heinous-OH DEAR GOD-that is what should’ve happened! YES-the best development for Skeeves is to get replaced, EASILY!

How he could’ve stayed:...ya got me, he’s like the ONE character I can’t see on Mewni.

SHRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

Rafael and Angie Diaz, the loving but in-CREDIBLY irresponsible parents to Marco Diaz.

How they could’ve been improved: Honestly not by much, they were pretty fun in season 1 and 2-BUT-the one thing that always bugged me about them was in “Heinous” how they FINALLY acknowledged how little they knew about their son and would keep more of an eye him...said subject is CLEARLY forgotten as they just FULL ON allow their son to move to the dangerous hellscape that is Mewni. I know they joke about “Star stealing their son” but-NO-dammit, they could’v said NO , they could’ve tried to be actual parents and showed some FREAKING backbone! ALSO-not have them name their second born after their first born, that is WEIRD!

How they could’ve stayed: Now they actually didn’t have to MOVE to Mewni, but they should’ve been to Marco what Moon and River were to Star in seasons 1 and 2, where Marco would regularly talk to them via magic mirror. If you’ve seen my previous post, you can see how turning Marco into the Star(pun intended) of Mewni was a good idea in theory, but wasn’t well done in practice. They only appeared ONCE in season 3, and only had a passing mention in one of TEN episodes into season 4. River and Moon weren’t abandoned as characters, why were the Earth parents?

And finally-HA-THE BIG ONE!

Jackie Lynn Thomas, Marco’s former crush and former girlfriend.

How she could’ve stayed: Yeah I skipped improved on purpose, she was great and she should’ve stayed. I don’t know WHY TV shows keep doing this, be it StarVs or New Girl, but sometimes REGARDLESS of how interesting they are they’ll just write out love interests completely once the romance ends. A person doesn’t disappear when you break up with them, they continue to exist and live on their life. Maybe Marco could’ve had a Mewni day and have her moving on with a new guy, to which Marco gets jealous or something. Point is, waste of a character and I hope she at least has ONE cameo in the final season.

And that’s part 2, hoped you liked it, after this I think I’m going to end it with the personal arcs of the title characters. With that, I’m Yoshimickster a.k.a. Mick the nerd, and hope you have a kickin’ time.

[naysaltysalmon]

I’m back!

Upon my return from China, I noticed there were a lot of things weighing me down... that I can just throw the fuck out.

I could expound upon all of these in great detail, but it really would be pointless. And I wouldn’t be able to cover it all anyway. So instead I’ve decided to make a post of every icon I’ve used for my online persona over the years.

The reason for this is... at the end of the program I attended, we had an entire week of silent meditation. We weren’t allowed to talk or communicate with anyone in any way, including gestures, eye contact, or physical touch. So, during this time I had the realization that the stories I’ve been interested in have been my main source of comfort over the years. No person, place, or thing has felt more permanent to me than this.

However, permanence is an illusion, as the Buddhists say (I stayed in a Buddhist monastery in China, in case you’re wondering). My interests have changed over the years -- from the first fandoms I got obsessed with, to my interests now. I may still adore the series that I enjoyed as a child, but definitely not in the same way.

Coming home, I realized... I no longer want to attach my identity to one character or series. That’s why I’ve decided to make this post. I want to reflect on all the egos of my past, on what they have meant to me, so that I can let them go. I’ve been clinging to a folder of them for too long.

To anyone who’s been here since the very start of my blog, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is an acknowledgement of my transformation from then until now.

And so:

Breadward Elric. My first Internet icon, which I had for 2 and a half years from May 2011 -- 2013. My blog was originally entirely FMAB content, created in January of 2012, and while this format didn’t last the entire time that I had this icon, Breadward saw me through the majority of my early anime and video game obsessions. He jump-started my personality on the Internet as a fanfic author, a blogger, and an artist. I will never forget him... ;~;

Comrade Führer Tamama. I had this icon for 8 months in early 2013 -- early 2014. What can I say? Tamama’s passionate personality resonated with me, especially when he was finally able to be in control (in the episode this particular screenshot is from). Gotta get those cola oceans pronto!

Yokoso waga tainai e [Welcome to my Womb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]. I had a phase during the summer of 2014, okay. But I still love this maniacal snake’s crusty ass, fite me. I admire KagePro immensely for the popularity and development it gave characters in song format. Of course, favorite of those characters was Kuroha, a snake whose only desire was to keep granting wishes so that he could survive. Add a touch of murderous intent and you have the complete package -- I won’t deny he appealed(appeals) to my wild side -- okay moving on.

KeroTama hugge 👀. I had this icon for about 4-6 months in 2014 before the Hunter x Hunter phase hit. God, I shipped them so hard *facepalms* It was funny though, it’s like KagePro hit me like a hurricane during this summer and then I went right back to being KeroTama trash. Amazing.

Softly Smiling Pika. I kept this icon for at least 9-10 months at the end of 2014 -- early 2015, until I found Owari no Seraph. Kurapika was definitely my bae at the start of my HxH phase -- and in many ways he still is. The current arc gives me this sense of nostalgia of being a 15-year-old again, deeply in love but too in denial to see it. Watching him as a young adult, I see how far I’ve come, how I could have ended up... since I believed myself to be most closely alike with Kurapika at the time. And now I know that’s not the case... I remember debating between many other Kurapika icons and finally choosing this one because I dearly wanted to believe I too could find my happiness in the friends around me, even if it seemed all was hopeless behind the scenes.

Yuu babe. I had this icon for 4 months in the middle of 2015, I remember. Yuichiro Hyakuya was an underappreciated dorky genius at the time, much like how Gon is in HxH now, except... Now in the series... *deep sighs* *clenches fist* I still love his piercing citrine eyes and the dynamism of this icon/pose though.

Cuties T^T (MikaYuu edition). Mmm I kept this icon for a while, something like most of 2016, at least 6-8 months, probably more like 9 or 10. Looking back, I still wonder how/why the author was a fucking coward and didn’t make MikaYuu happen. We coulda had it aaallllll...... Anyway, this is when I was writing Ebony & Ivory, my most popular fic to date, so I was reveling in the reputation I gained from that. This icon was me accepting that while I was no longer friends with my best friend from middle school to 11th grade, I would still pursue my own happiness in the perfect relationship that I saw in MikaYuu. *nods* It’s fitting.

Caught Child². I shared this and the next couple of icons with a friend that I met online, who used the Gon equivalent. I think we shared this one for about 3 months of 2016. This is when I became re-obsessed with Hunter x Hunter and realized how much I had changed between 2014 and 2016. It’s an obsession that’s more or less carried onto now, and redefined my adulthood, as I see my progression as I refer back to HxH for guidance to this day.

Content Chompy Boye. I love this icon. I kept this icon for a long time, something like 5-6 months in December 2016 -- mid-2017. The colors of the background contrast with Killua’s white hair, pale skin, and dark muscle shirt... I still used this icon on other websites until just a few days ago (when I most recently changed my icon) because I thought it looked the best backdropped against the format of other websites. I love this scene in the series, though; while (human) Palm is chattering on about her worry that Gon and Killua will be able to defeat Knuckle and Shoot in time, Killua continues to eat without a care in the world. It’s a mood I feel at least once a day, whether while eating or getting a back massage -- as if that ever happens -- 11/10.

Pizza Devil Brat. I like this icon a lot and kept it on a few websites for longer too, but with the way I edited it, the green background becomes a little too headache-inducing if you stare at it too long, so 8/10 -- okay no more out of 10 ratings, this isn’t that kind of post. I believe I kept this icon for about 3-4 months in 2017 and possibly early 2018 as well. From the same scene the previous Kurapika icon came from, this remains one of my favorite scenes in the entire series for its serious undertones over the light happiness that underlies Gon’s, Killua’s, and Kurapika’s (and Leorio’s -- but he’s not in this scene) interactions with each other throughout the series.

Grumpy Gem Gremlin. I was sharing the last three icons with that friend, including this one, with the Phos equivalent (more or less). I think we only kept it for about a month or month and a half in 2017 or beginning of 2018 before switching to the next one. Cinnabar’s desire for a purpose and closeness to others despite her poisonous nature... is definitely something I can understand and relate to.

Sad Gem Child. Damn, I think we’re all still waiting for the day Gormie realizes Aechmea’s a creepy sugar daddy and dropkicks his ass into the ocean where the Admirabilis can decompose his cloudy body like he doesn’t deserve. When will Land of the Lustrous return from the war? I’m still waiting, Ichikawa. Anyway I think we kept this icon for about a month or maybe two in 2018, not long at all.

Gay Childe™. Look, this is one of the gayest scenes in the entire series and it’s right after my favorite episode(s)/scene(s) in the entire series (so far) and it’s not even acknowledged by anyone. Just. Holy Fuck. Anyway I think I kept this icon for about 6-8 months to cap off 2018. And this is where the Big Breakup happened, where my friend decided to choose an icon that deviated from mine, but I kept this icon for a lot longer due to what this scene means to me, placed after/during my favorite episode. ;v;

And finally, BoMH (Blood on My Hands) Pika. I used this icon for 8 months from the start of 2019 until just a few days ago (approx. 8 months). This icon was originally the cover for a Kurapika fic that I started back in 2015 and ended up discontinuing because it was pretty slow-paced, and thus unpopular, which made it become difficult for me to write. But I got all the way up to 97k words before I quit, simply because of the freedom and joy I felt in creating all the OCs that I fit into Kurapika’s journey as he searched for the Kurta eyes after the Yorknew City Arc. Looking back, I’m proud of the planning and commitment that I succeeded in undertaking with this fic -- it was about halfway done by the time I stopped writing it -- and I feel I want to return to this concept one day. Even if the arcs were pretty formulaic at times and, well, boring, I wanted this icon at the start of 2019 to be a new person separate from my recent past matching icons; a representation of my ability to reconnect with my past, but to no longer be afraid of it; to be proud of it, but still recognizing the not-so-good parts, laying it to rest by no longer avoiding it.

My icon now, as I’m sure you can see... is nothing like those I’ve used thus far. I definitely have no intention of moving away from anime or my past. I simply wish to redefine who I am in relation to them, rather than being defined by them.

...I’ve discovered a lot about myself over the past 2 years since college started, more than I ever thought possible. I discovered a lot while in China, too. And I need my online persona to reflect that in every form, as I’ve done every time there was a change.

Thank you all for being with me on this journey: for following me, for reading my posts, for liking my art, for talking with me and blowing up my notifications on every platform...

I’ll be pursuing the next chapter(s) of Human, TIDU, and other works soon. ^.^

[3w-writer-with-wings]

1, 5, 6, 10, 17, 19, 22, 23, and 34 for the yugioh meme?

1)  Favourite Yu-Gi-Oh! series

This is like asking me which out of my six children should survive while the other five die XD. I love all the series since they all have both pros and cons, and they all have interesting characters and stories, but I guess ARC V will always have a special place in my heart since it got me back in Yugioh fandom (I stopped after 5Ds for a while several years ago). VRAINS is currently my favourite series plotwise since it continues to surprise me and keeps me hyped every single week.

5)  Favourite opening/ending

For the opening, it’s a tie between second and fifth ARC V opening. “Burn” has an incredibly upbeat melody that makes me smile every time I listen to it. “Light of Hope” on the other hand tells a story of how there is despair but smiles will be there to make it go away. I’m rather torn between choosing either of them since they are both really nice endings. As for ending - “Close to You”, 4th ending from 5Ds. I first started watching 5Ds in English dub but once I caught up with it, I was too curious what is going to happen next so I started watching Japanese dub from that point on and that was probably the smartest decision ever. I got to see “Close to You” not only as the first Yugioh Japanese ending but the very first anime ending ever. I loved every single moment of it, of all the characters just chilling around the city, then meeting up, watching the sunrise and then riding D-Wheels with their dragons! It is an ending that is beyond perfect and really emphasises the bonds and friendship between all Signers. 

6)  Favourite character

If you had asked me this question before Takeru showed up, I would’ve probably blurted out the names of several characters and say how I love them all, but Takeru is a special case. You see, he is a character that I loved before he even officially appeared XD. I’m following the news, cast lists and summaries, so when Takeru showed up for the first time in an anime magazine (like a month before his official anime appearance), I fell in love with everything about him. Both his human self and avatar had all the right colours and designs that fit his personality well, his backstory was intriguing, I was already looking forward to seeing another Lost Child and out of all possible voices, he got to be voiced by one and only Kaji Yuuki (who is among my Top 3 anime voice actors!). Then he showed up in the new opening and ending and him being friendly and cosy with Yusaku was just plain adorable! I had no idea what his role was going to be but from that point it was clear - Yusaku is getting a new friend! And was his entrance perfect - lightning, fire tornado and then him! 10/10 Burner of Souls! Not only was he righteously hyped up, but he also continues to be amazing and I have a feeling his character will get even more development!    

10)  Favourite Duel Monster

It’s hard to pick a single monster, but I love every single card in Johan’s deck aka. Crystal/Gem Beast archetype. The designs are simple but so well executed and out of all of them, it’s hard to pick just one. I love their story, the legend and just the fact how much they all care about Johan, trying to reach out to him when Yubel possessed him. A big plus is also the fact how much personality they all have and they are always there to help up Johan.

17)  Have you ever cried over YGO and why?

You should’ve rather ask me when I didn’t lol. But yeah in every spinoff there was a moment that I actually cried. In original series there were two moments, when Yugi duelled Atem in the fourth season, letting him defeat him and then fading away in his arms and the Ceremonial duel when Yugi stumbled on his knees and cried, I cried with him cuz I also didn’t want Atem to go. Then in GX, it was basically whenever Judai would show vulnerability, cuz really, I hated his guts and his goofy overpowered persona. But then when he lost Johan, when he was afraid of Yubel, when he succumbed to the power of Supreme King and the entire season 4 when he was battling with depression - to see someone so cheerful becoming a mere shell of himself was so darn sad. 5Ds started darker but nothing could prepare me for two scenes, Yusei nearly dying, being afraid to duel and then watching his friend die in his arms and then losing another friend for real (Bruno! :’( ). Zexal made me cry a weird mixture of happy and sad tears whenever Yuma and Astral did something. When Astral sacrificed himself for Yuma I don’t know when I cried more - when Yuma watched Astral die or Yuma suffering from major depression for the next few episodes. But that scene when he got reunited with Astral was that more powerful because of it and their relationship is truly the purest of them all. ARC V, spinoff all about smiles was probably one of the saddest series, not just because of many sad moments throughout the whole thing aka. Yuto dying in Yuya’s arms for real, Yugo losing Rin, Yuya losing Yuzu, the fate of other Bracelet Girls and Yu-Boys and the overall ending, but also how inconclusive the ending felt. I kinda get the point was to show the realism of war, how not everyone can get a happy ending but it could still be executed better. Then there’s VRAINS…. *sighs* where do I even start with this….

VRAINS truly took the plotline seriously and doesn’t seem like it’s going to back down. It is like the writing staff put together a medley of the saddest moments in Yu-Gi-Oh! and were like, “Let’s make it sadder!”. From the fact that mere six-year-old children were tortured so badly, that Ryoken was so messed up by his father, that all Lost Children are still suffering in one way or another, that SOL practically killed a living being and all the drama that it’s going on between Yusaku and Kusanagi right now. Last week’s episode had me nearly tear up and for tomorrow I will most definitely cry. It’s just so painful to see someone so desperate to save their own family, to attack someone they were all set to protect just a few episodes ago… And VRAINS isn’t even over yet. I thought nothing could top Earth’s death scene, but from the looks of it, tomorrow will be getting a dose of the most painful feels.

19)  Least favourite series

It’s a tie between GX and the first series if I had to choose one. GX has a rather monotone first half when there is some stuff going on, but it’s really episodic and easily forgotten. While there were some interesting episodes, the rest was just one giant filler that tried to deliver too much nostalgia from the first series instead of developing on its own. And speaking of the first series - I know the card game wasn’t as developed at the time so tons of duels made absolutely no sense. Then it was only Yugi, Kaiba and Joey having the development and extremely long duels that were starting to feel off and annoying to watch. But overall - I know that was the very first series and the spinoff, so it was obvious it wouldn’t be perfect. What I truly love about Yu-Gi-Oh! is that it’s a franchise that continues to grow with every single spin-off, even if they’re becoming less relevant they are still getting stronger storywise.

22)  Least favourite character

This little brat is a perfect representation of how to create the most annoying character. Everything about him screams “annoying, useless and awful”. It would be completely fine if he was an episodic villain, but noooo for some reason writing staff was like, “hey let’s make this dude into Yuma’s friend”. I get it, Yuma can make friends easily, but for the love of God, why him?! Yuma has enough friends already, why bring this brat into his group? Tokunosuke has literally no purpose to be here but to cause trouble or be a plot device to bring Yuma trouble. Okay, I was fine with that one time that he got Yuma into trouble and Yuma still forgave him, but why the hell did they have a need to repeat that three more times? I feel the same way about Kotori - she has no basic purpose but to be moral support or act as a damsel in distress.ZEXAL had way too many characters and out of them all, they picked the most useless ones for major roles. 

23)  NOTP

Canon datastormshipping. I think I made it clear why I dislike it in two posts already, but I guess I could sum it up for the third time. In canon verse they are two unstable people who bring out the worst of each other. They rarely interact, their ideologies are vastly different and they are in a way obsessed with each other in a very unhealthy way. If the two of them dated it would most likely result in a very toxic relationship which would only worsen up their already broken mental states. Again, I greatly dislike this ship in canon verse (in anime up to episode 92) and my opinion could change by the end of VRAINS. I still like the fanfics and fanarts that depict “what if” scenarios where their relationship could work (I’m actually writing one at the moment and I have plans to write one where I focus on their relationship in detail), but canon shipping just feels off and dysfunctional.

34)  If you met Kazuki Takahashi, what would you say to him?

First of all, I would thank him for coming up with those amazing characters and plotlines. I still love the original manga and season 0 the most since it had so much creativity with different games, but I can see it keep getting included more with new summoning methods and unique stories. Then I would most likely present him my idea for the 7th series and its protagonist. From the start of the series, there wasn’t much about card game production or who designs them. We got some info on how Pegasus discovered Millenium Items and the tablet with Egyptian Gods and in GX it showed Hayato working as a card game designer. I would love to see a protagonist who loves games just like Yugi and wishes to create more, so he strives to become the best card game designer. He is not that keen on playing the game since he prefers to make the cards more, but when he creates a particular card(kinda like how Takato created Guilmon in Digimon Tamers) he is pulled into an adventure where he must find other cards that contain powerful Duel Monsters spirits and he has to lock them back into their cards. I would also love to have a protagonist that can talk with spirits again since while Judai had adorable interactions with Winged Kuriboh and Neo Spacians, it was still largely brushed aside and not that much explored. So yeah please make the next protagonist into a card game designer, it will be unique and open to so many interesting plotlines and potentials. 

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

[creepygamerpasta]

My Defense of Dear Evan Hansen

Okay, disclaimer: I wasn’t really into Dear Evan Hansen, so I don’t know the musical itself all too well (except of course, like everyone, “Sincerely, Me”). I recently read the novel of it (which was written by the creators, so I think the only difference is the fact that the prose doesn’t rhyme). I’m not a “day-one, die-hard fan,” and I do not have an obsession with it. That being said, I enjoyed the novel a lot. It’s not usually a genre I read, but it certainly piqued my interest for YA mental health novels. 

Why, then, do people hate it?

I’ve looked online for this answer, and I’ve been able to find some recurring arguments, which are quite valid even if you don’t agree. (Not everyone has to like the same things, I know.) So, here are my responses and counter-arguments. (Note, contains spoilers, and I won’t necessarily outright disagree with everything.)

1. The fanbase is annoying, toxic, etc.

This is probably the easiest to get out of the way. Yes, there will always be people within a fanbase whose entire lives revolve around their fandom. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; who can fault you for being passionate about something? But it’s when that passion turns into hate or putting someone else’s tastes or general completely down because that person doesn’t like exactly what the fan likes when people get really angry. I’ll use an unrelated scenario to DEH as an example:

Person A: Do you like Taylor Swift?

Me: Eh, I’m not really into her music. I’m more into metal and stuff.

Person A: Oh, okay, cool. :)

Person B: OMG WTF stop being a HATER. Metal SUCKS. You’re just JEALOUS that she has TALENT.

...See? This is the same sort of reactions that people get, not just from DEH fans but from all sorts of fans. (I’ve gotten both of these exact reactions from various fans of different singers, actors, celebrities, movies, TV shows, etc.)

2. The musical is not that great, as in the scores and stuff.

I don’t see why this particularly angers people. I see this more as an evolution of the types of music in musicals. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here, but musicals exist for people to want to see them. And if the target audience is the younger generation, then it does not make sense to use music that most of them A) won’t like and B) won’t understand. I mean, Hamilton is known for its use of rap, (dare I say) “nontraditional” music in the theatre world. And people like it. 

Which brings me to the next point...

3. Young people (who obviously cannot have appreciation for true theatre) will expect musicals like Hamilton and Dear Evan Hansen to become the norm and for there to be a “big” musical every year.

...okay? So? Look, if people want to go to a musical, then they’ll go. If they want to go to another musical, then they’ll go to that one. It’s not rocket science. And as for this sometimes-unspoken assumption that young people can’t understand/appreciate theatre... Last time I checked, there were still theatre kids in schools across the country, so at least some people can.

And now, we go to the part of the defense where I rely more on the novel.

4. The main character (Evan) is neither compelling nor a good person, and thus, should not be the main character (and, by extension, the entire musical should not exist).

In the book, it is made very clear that Evan is not a perfect character. He’s a human being and has flaws just like everyone. His whole “pretending to be Connor’s friend thing” is less a manipulative move and more of “wrong place, wrong time, and I don’t know how to explain.” Though he’s supposed to be relatable, you are not expected to like him. Other characters question his motives for The Connor Project and his relationship to Connor, but with the first person, inner-thoughts, deepest-darkest-secrets style that the book has, it is very clear that Evan is (in his complex way) trying to help the Murphys with their loss. He does get a bit carried away, probably without realizing it, but even though he did not mean to hurt them, the guilt of his lies eats away at him the entire book.

Evan admits to lying, in person at the Murhpys. He knows that even though his longtime crush and now girlfriend (he even describes her as his soulmate and wants to marry her) will hate him, not to mention her parents, he cannot keep lying to them. 

I think one of the problems with DEH specific to this problem is the hype about Evan himself. As the audience, we want to paint Evan as a hero. Descriptions put him in that light. He does overcome a lot through the novel and goes through quite a bit of change, but he is not the flawless hero (or the one-flaw antihero) people want him to be. He is a human being, and I think fans and haters forget this or overlook this, despite it being such an important part of the novel/musical.

5. DEH makes fun of mental illness and doesn’t take it seriously. It falsely portrays people with depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, etc.

This grinds a lot of my gears. Mental illnesses are different for everyone. Is there some assumption people have that I’m not aware of? The assumption that people actually think that everyone who has anxiety or is suicidal will act exactly like Evan and Connor? It might not match up with every individual’s experience/struggle with a mental illness, but that’s kind of one of the themes of DEH: that people have different lives, different struggles, different baggage, and different ways of coping, healthy or unhealthy. Everyone has a different story, and no one should be left to deal while feeling alone. Pay attention to those around you.

The lighter-hearted music seems to also make people perceive DEH to be making fun of/not taking mental health seriously. Which is ridiculous. There are some serious songs in that soundtrack, and the upbeat “Sincerely, Me” is supposed to be from fake personas. Connor’s persona in that song is supposed to be feeling better as days go by with the help of his “friend” Evan. So, yes, it makes sense that would be cheerful because it is not from the perspective of the real Connor. If it were, the song would probably be a lot darker.

6. The musical is homophobic and makes fun of the LGBT+ community.

If you were to walk into an elementary, middle, or high school right now and overhear every conversation, I gaurantee you, gaurantee you, that some students would be using “gay” as some sort of put-down or otherwise make fun of LGBT+ people. That doesn’t mean it’s right or acceptable, but having two high school guys (or really one, seeing as how Evan does not go along with the joke) make remarks about two (supposedly) close guys being gay is not something new. This complaint probably mainly comes from the line in “Sincerely, Me” in which Connor’s and Evan’s personas deny being close for anything other than friendship. And honestly? As a member of the LGBT+ community, this confusion comes up a lot. Whether you are out or not, closeness between friends is often interpreted as a romantic or sexual relationship, which of course is not the case. 

Last time I checked, there wasn’t anything hateful toward the LGBT+ community. Jared’s jokes, while horribly sexual and inappropriate, were just immature. His jokes are essentially the high school equivalent of “That’s what she said.” I mean, who doesn’t know someone like that in their life? If I’m wrong, feel free to correct me.

Oh, and also? It is revealed in the novel that Connor did in fact have a relationship with a guy, Miguel.

7. People talk about the relatability of the musical without actually relating.

Okay, yes, annoying, but I don’t see why people should immediately fault this. You do not know the experiences or thoughts of people online and on social media, but this means that you can’t judge whether or not they do relate to something. The first thing that comes to mind with the word “relatable” when it comes to this musical would, of course, be mental health. Since the most notable characters both struggle with mental illnesses, it makes sense that you would expect the people who relate to this musical to also struggle with mental illness(es). But there is no law that everyone who relates to a character has to be exactly like that character. 

I’ll use another example from a different work, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. (Quick little note: Frankenstein is the scientist, not the creature. The Creature is actually quite complex and a deep character that is not the mindless monster from movies.)

Frankenstein: wealthy, a genius, comes from a high(ish) class, (presumably) handsome

Creature: neglected, hated for his ugliness, abandoned by Frankenstein, feared, smart

I doubt anyone was stitched together from dead bodies and then somehow reanimated. But you might relate to the fact that the Creature was abandoned or that people fear and hate him because of his looks. I also doubt that anyone has figured out the secret to reanimating dead bodies after taking them apart and stitching them together. But you might also (or solely) relate to Frankenstein because he lost his mother or because he feels responsible for a family member’s death. Those are some examples.

And there are plenty of characters that you could relate to or aspects of characters that speak to you. Maybe you’ve built a tangle of lies like Evan without meaning to, or maybe you have gone through a hard divorce and try so hard to get through to your child without success like Heidi, or maybe you really care about making a difference and don’t feel like the people who are supposed to help you take that seriously like Alana.

That about wraps it up. If I’ve missed anything, feel free to tell me, and I’ll make a follow-up post. 

Again, I’m not demanding that you agree with me, but hopefully, whether a fan or critic, you have now seen a different perspective.