#i feel gross now
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Autism sensory issues and eating a mandarin is not a good combo 😬
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"Morgana is my daughter."
Yeah hi I would like to retract all the comments I made about her and Arthur having a relationship that's anything other than platonic uhh
Did not see that coming
Idk why I didn't see it coming bc there were signs
And she and Arthur definitely ACT like siblings
O o f
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my evil ex boyfriend who i havent seen in SEVEN YEARS just dm’d me on instagram and i almost had a fucking panic attack like why are you msging me??? the last time i talked to you was to tell you to leave me alone and never talk to me again??? men will literally ruin ur life and then text you “Yo haven’t talked to you in a while” like they didn’t inflict lifelong trauma on u
#yikes YIKES yikes#i feel gross now#i just blocked him but still it feels gross just knowing he tried to talk to me
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So I guess I’m doing a vaguepost here but I saw some old post from like a few years ago that I’ve been thinking about for a while now because I can’t agree with it from any angle no matter how hard I try.
It’s along the lines of : “I don’t care if someone has apologized or changed for something they said in the past, I don’t HAVE to forgive or trust them. You’re showing them more sympathy than me. It’s not a punishment, it’s a defense mechanism. Also, part of being a better person is just accepting this. ”
While I can understand this on the surface from an emotional standpoint and agree with its overall assertion - yes, you don’t have to forgive or trust anyone. You can have whatever opinion you want of them - it seems that this is really setting up an unfair precedent.
You can feel however you want, but so can everyone else. They don’t have to agree with you, and they don’t have to refrain from disagreeing with your stance openly. That’s how opinions work, it goes both ways.
If you’re saying that you get to make whatever criticism of them you want, even if it’s not valid anymore due to their current personality, then yes it IS just a punishment. Having a defense mechanism is good, but trying to critique them without any sort of rebuttal or further thought than how you feel is just unfair and I don’t support it.
The person in question also doesn’t have to just sit there and take it if they feel it’s unwarranted, nor do people who like them have to sit idly while they get lambasted. They’re allowed to defend themselves or someone else, and that doesn’t mean that they’re being “unsympathetic” or “more sympathetic” to them. They’re giving sympathy where it’s due, you’ve already got yours through their acknowledgement of wrongdoing, and you aren’t entitled to more simply for how you feel.
Honestly it’s not a big deal because I already know that what I’ve said is a popular sentiment, and it really doesn’t matter what some rando with basically no following said on this site, but the fact that I randomly encountered this type of thinking really bugged me. If people aren’t given some benefit of the doubt, then they’ll never get better and people who haven’t changed yet won’t even consider trying. It plays into a bunch of negative stereotypes about “cAnCeL cUlTuRe” to think like this and I really hate seeing it no matter how niche of a viewpoint it is.
Damn, didn’t think I’d write a mini essay immediately after waking up. Another autism moment for my neurodivergent ass lmao.
#rant#thoughts#my thoughts#thinking#mini essay#cancel culture#god I hated writing that last tag bruh#I feel gross now
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saw a j*ff sadecki x reader & i swear this was my reaction
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I hate men so much
#like I’m just trying to pay for my gas please don’t talk about my chest#I feel gross now#and I’m sad because I really liked my outfit and men just ruined it
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Trigger warning - sa
Throwback to when my sister found out about my sa and told my mum about it instead of speaking to me (spoiler, there's a reason i didn't tell my mum)
#sumarmz is emo#worst part is#i didnt tell my sister#i told absoloutely no one#then i posted a very vague comment on tiktok once about it because i was spirallig and needed to let it out#first time i ever opened up about it and a week later my mum was yelling at me bc what if a girl sees that and exaggerates her own experienc#like okay never telling anyone anything anymore#ive been able to bring it up in passing to my new group of friends#but like#yeah#i feel gross now
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we watched Cult (2009) tonight and it was just kinda fucked up and unpleasant
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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sum vent art i did ig
#you left me here to rot#g0r3#vent art#vent post#you don't love me#i know what you are#youre the worst#i hate you#i hate this#i feel gross now#i feel disgusting#its all your fault#s3lf hate#i wanna die#i hate everything#im awful#i deserve to suffer#i deserve to die#im so gross#im disgusting#im sorry#i suck#its your fault#why did you do this to me#you promised#why#why did you do it#i hate it i hate it i hate it#i hate it so much#im the worst
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Ayo, if Twitter (X) could like... NOT give me an ad for a sex toy that'd be VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.
#I feel gross now#literally no people in the ad#but I still feel mad uncomfortable from it#small vent
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18+, college roommate!vi cinematic universe thigh-riding, questionable vape-usage, oral (vi receiving), smut with a fluffy ending
"s-sweet fuck, pretty girl -- j-just -- just like that --"
you let out a soft whimper, rutting your hips over her flexed thigh, whining as she leans back, a palm resting on your waist, the other clutching her hot pink vape, bringing it up to her lips for a long hit before tugging you down, blowing the dragonfruit-flavored smoke into your mouth.
you suck in, tasting the bright tang of the vape smoke as your pussy clenches, your clit throbbing as you chase your orgasm, grinding down over vi's leg as she groans thick in the back of her throat, her eyes dark and hazed out as she watches you with parted lips.
"like -- like that?" you ask, your voice high and desperate even as vi bites her lips, letting her head fall back against the wall of her room, her cheeks high with color as you reach down and wedge a hand between your bodies, slipping your fingers under the waistband of her boy shorts to thumb clumsily at her clit. she keens, fingers digging into your waist as she jerks you against her, your juices now so sticky on her thighs that it squelches every time you rut your hips forwards and back.
"fuck -- yeah... mm --" she shifts, hoisting you further up just to meld her mouth with yours, licking into your mouth as your pace stutters and you groan, fingers clutching at her shoulders, her biceps, steadying yourself on her arms as she kisses a harsh line down your neck, sucking a deep hickey into the junction of your throat. "shit, you're so -- so hot, so pretty--"
"vi -- vi -- m'so close --" your lashes flutter as you feel the familiar twist in your gut, the warm already spilling through your limbs.
she chuckles, "c'mon princess --" she tugs on your chin, blowing another puff of smoke in your face, smirking when your breath hitches, "look at me -- wanna see your face when you fuck yourself stupid on my thighs --"
the tension in your belly snaps, your whole body shaking as your orgasm rocks through you. and vi -- she guides you through it, groaning out long and low as she feels you twitch over her, your cunt squeezing around nothing as you ride out your own orgasm against her. you eyes flicker but she keeps you upright, forcing you to look at her even as the edges of your vision fizz out into white sparks of pleasure.
she kisses you as you come down, grinning at the way you whine when she pulls away for another hit of the vape, opening her mouth as you press back in, your fingers finding the soaked folds of her cunt, pressing in, her kissing you as smoke wreathes out the corners of your mouths. you trade the same breath back and forth till you lose count, till you can't figure if the sweetness is the smoke or just the tingling addiction of her mouth on yours.
"mm... wow, princess -- that was --" she hiccups as you press a line of sloppy kisses down her neck, the pale, lamp-kissed bend of her shoulder, the small divot between her breasts, pausing to lave your tongue over her nipples, the piercings there cold as you suck them between your soft lips. your revel in the way she gasps then, the way her fingers bite into your skin.
you reach up wordlessly to tug the vape from her slack fingers, her eyes half-lidded and alight with a loose, liquid hunger as she watches you work down the length of her body.
"you're so wet, vi..." you murmur, pressing a kiss to her hipbone, smiling up at her as you tug on the waistband of her boyshorts. she lifts her hips, her cheeks darkening as she clears her throat.
"yeah well -- 's not like you can blame me -- oh shit --"
her head thunks back against the wall as you dig your nose into the thin trail of hair that leads to her sopping folds, the slick there glistening in the wane light. you only allow yourself a second to admire her before bringing the vape to your lips and sucking in a breath of the synthetically sweet smoke, and then you're lowering your mouth to her and pressing your tongue into her slow, moaning long and loud, your eyes fixed on her face, watching for the twitch of her lips, the slack in her jaw.
"jesus christ -- mm-mngh --!"
you fight back a grin as she whimpers, her thighs tightening on either side of your face. her fingers dig through your hair as she forces her eyes open to look down at you, an open, needy expression on her face that you doubt she'd willingly show to anyone else. but the knowledge that you can bring her to such pleasure quickens your own pulse and drives you forward as you give her clit a hard suck and she keens again -- that gorgeous, high, helpless sound even as she presses you harder against her folds and jerks against your face, guiding you into a rhythm that suits her needs.
"fuck, fuck, fuck princess --" she lets out a string of incoherent swears as you feel her shove your face into her harder and harder, and all you can do is offer up your mouth, your tongue, anything and everything you can till she shakes apart above you, her release coating your lips and dripping down your chin.
you lap at it hungrily, savoring the salty-sweet-tang even as she finally relaxes her thighs and you manage to pull yourself up for a breath. your face is sticky, and honestly, so is she, but her laughter is warm when she tugs you up to give you a lingering kiss.
your head is a smoke-filled euphoria of half-formed thoughts as the pair of you collapse, boneless, sweaty, and sated onto her messy sheets. she kicks off her boyshorts, leaving her just as naked as you already were as she curls around you, her arms solid and strong, yours curled against her chest, your fingers splayed over the smooth expanse of her skin, tracing abstract shapes as you turn to face her.
"you got somethin' on your face there, sweets," she says, rubbing at thumb down your slick-covered chin. you crinkle your nose, turning to wipe your face messily against her bicep even as she laughs.
"mm... why didn't we do this sooner?" you ask, curling into her, your faces inches apart.
"what, this like -- smoke each other out and have amazing, mind-blowing sex?" vi asks, grinning.
you giggle, shaking your head, "no! i mean -- well, yes, but like... this.." you reach out and cup her cheek, the touch so gentle it stills you both.
vi sighs, shrugging, "dunno, cupcake. i -- i guess i was caught up in..." her eyes cast about her room, the band posters and hand-scribbled workout notes tacked to her wall, "in wondering if you -- if you felt the same about me, i just..."
you purse your lips around a burgeoning smile, "you just... forgot to ask me?"
vi scoffs, rolling her eyes, "yeah, yeah, whatever. we get it -- you had to make the first move but --" her eyes soften, and so does her voice, "at least we're here now, right?"
"mm," you nod, inching closer, "and we've still got another six months left on the lease."
"six months is a long time," vi says, her voice husky as she rubs a thumb along your cheek.
"yeah... plenty, if we're trying to make up for lost time but..." you hesitate over a held breath, "what happens after?"
"after... we both graduate?"
"yeah."
for a moment, vi's silent. and all around you, the future stretches out like the moonless night, tendrils of shadow reaching like spindled fingers into the unknown future.
"after that... i go wherever you go, cupcake."
you blink, eyes meeting hers, a startled spark of uncertainty rising within you.
"you..."
vi smiles, a crooked, honest thing of lips and teeth. she hooks her ankles around yours and presses your foreheads. her hand comes up to caress the back of your neck.
"if you think i'll ever let you go again after all that... you've got another thing comin', princess."
you let out a relieved laugh, leaning in for a kiss.
"right. i guess the orgasm really was that good, huh?"
vi laughs too then, a soft, breathy sound.
"sure. but really... i mean it. i'm yours, cupcake. for as long as you'll have me."
your lashes flutter; your heart skips. then, you're the one pulling her in for a kiss, one that's sweet as it is consuming. the skin-scalding simmer of a long-burning flame, a spark catching hold on a breath of summer wind.
"i might not be a theoretical physicist, but from what i've heard, forever is a really long time," you say. and vi, to her credit, only takes a second before understanding blossoms in her eyes and she pulling you to her, crushing you in a stomach-turning embrace.
"you're my everything, princess. you know that?"
you bury your face in the crook of her neck and breathe her in. the room smells like sex and sweat and the soft perfume of your shared shampoo. you grin, a giddy heat pluming up your chest to coil at the back of your throat.
"and you're mine, vi."
vi puffs out a breath, her voice just a tiny bit shaky as she cradles your head in her palm.
"yeah. i know, sweets. i know i am."
#⛈ monsoon season#hULLO i am IN MY FEELS 2NITE#i love how half of this is ABHORRENT smut and the 2nd half is just TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF#♨ steamy#vi x reader#arcane x reader#vi smut#arcane smut#vi arcane smut#vi x you#arcane x you#violet x you#violet smut#and on today's episode of ONLY orgasms and happily ever afters for vi in this household --#i truly CANNOT help myself like all roads lead to gross happy endings for my vi fics theres no other way i know (or want) to write them#you literally WILL NOT catch me doing this shit for anyone else WOW#college roommate!vi#this is post them getting together in case that wasn't obvious#i guess the smut won out in the end for the 2 drabbles HAHHA#but cool alright now time to go write MORE fluff#the level of gratuitous self indulgence here is so astronomically high#arcane
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Haha ever have something you think didn't fuck you up that bad and then going over it in a fucking training video you keep getting flash backs and now you feel sick?
#it's a harassment training#and sometimes i forget#it wasnt even that like...bad?#but reading these laws im like#haha oh thay happened to mw#wild#i feel gross now
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For a moment I was so excited about being hot and enjoying my cool outfit I forgot men exist
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gross stepdad hoon… the kind to invite his friends (heejayke) over n tease you the entire time. it’s humiliating, having your stepdad pat his lap for you to sit on n being treated like his toy :( forced to just accept how he gropes you n makes you grind his thigh in front of them
even worse when they start to join in, suggesting sunghoon flash them your tits or make you drool on his fingers, each one of them staring intensely when you take your stepdad’s digits in your mouth n get a little dumb, moaning n gagging around them
idk .. just.. maybe stepdad sunghoon letting them all jerk off over you.. lets them have their way with his sweet girl n calls you a whore for liking it
#♡.gabi barks#just a thought… idk…#stepdad hoonie.. hes so grossss hes so nasty hes a fucking perv . i want it#LOL#this is me coping with men making me feel gross…. if i Write it I choose when it happens#u know#sunghoon save me#but i will not be getting into that. just now my grocery shopping trip had me ready to sh**t this one man i saw there… shudders#KNOW*** DAMN#ANYWAY SUNGHOON#OFFER MORE STEPDAD HOON PLS#MAKE HIS GROSS AND VILE AND DISGUSTING PLS#biiiiiig fan of him forcing you to be slutty n then blaming You for it… hashtag need#enhypen#park sunghoon#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#park sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut#💌.stepcest
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im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross im so gross
im so motherfucking disgusting
#i hate this#youre the worst#youre disgusting#i hate you#i hate u#i hate you so much#i know what you are#you don't love me#i feel gross now#its all your fault#you make me sick#i feel disgusting#i feel sick#i feel gross#im gonna throw up#im awful#im disgusting#im so gross#im so fucking disgusted#i hate everything#i h8 myself#s3lf hate#s3lf h@te#self h@te#self h4te#i deserve to suffer#i deserve to die#why did you do this to me#why#why did you do it
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