#i feel bad rewriting but im also feeling very stuck idk
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frogletscribe · 7 months ago
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Revisiting fic things (Anthe specifically) and why I've taken such a break from writing made me realize i kinda wanna take down and rewrite all of Until it Doesn't Hurt so it re-aligns with where my head is at with everything again??? idk i think i need to like talk the whole thing out so that its clearer in my head???? IDK for now im just gonna keep doing art fight stuff
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qinwenzheng · 2 months ago
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cannot even say wta is in its straight era because technically it is not but the vibes are so weird. not necessarily bad. but weird. i think it's because there is no balance. what do i mean by that? i don't even know. am i rewriting history in my head? maybe. i think the "old era" of like...serena/maria/caro/angie/aga/ana/vika were so...not necessarily messy but so different? the rotations were better somehow. you could group them together easily and they played each other more often.
but now i feel like im lying!!! like aryna/iga, aryna/elena, elena/iga in theory have a similar sort of dynamic that can translate from on court to off but i cannot make it work...coco's rotational abilities are interesting to me because there is potential. i think jess is so....straight married boring and maria fell off the face of the earth. even tho i still think they're fun mirrors of each other meaning...it's a flop fest. you understand me etc. iga is just like....you can't even have messy (fake!!!!!) fun with her psychologist or whatever. that video of her inviting jasmine over for pierogies for CHRISTMAS like girl...i was thinking. and then NAOMI who i thought was the centre of the wta universe is like...where are you? iga/naomi is still interesting to me but their lives SEEM so opposite that i find it hard to like. just ignore the fact that naomi has an entire baby. even tho rpf is FAKE fake fake. and just using them as pre-tense for stories. like i get that i am not really a tinhatter in any sense of it. but idk. i think that's part of why m/m rpf is more popular because it's like. easier to forget about the rest of their lives where with women it is still so much more centred? idk. maybe i've lost my marbles. who else even is there. i know i wrote a dreamwidth post with all my potential pairings i'd write but...that is under lock and key. aryna is def, imo, the most rotatable because she is the most extroverted and in everyone else's business. i thought emma had so much potential but now i'm like...mhm. karo is like. ok dyke but also ? mhm. doubles is so...i could make it work but the effort vs. reward of writing it stresses me out too much. bianca is my favourite "no homo" "im not lesbian just to clear that up" remix but she's so isolated from the tour that it's hard to make it work. absolutely NOBODY cared about emma/bianca even though i still think it works and is interesting. jannik/carlos does nothing for me i'm so sorry. holger/anyone i can be into. i keep starting and deleting a very dumb and indulgent denis/domi fic where domi decides to coach denis and it is a mess that's kind of successful except it ends up with a v weird sexual dynamic ¯_(ツ)_/¯. if i am being honest i am still thinking about dyke novak. sorry. other pairings i just...idk. i don't even think the current crop of players are boring but there's just less content and they feel more media trained/resistant to saying anything interesting? but then i read transcripts and watch interviews and i don't know if that's true. even in trophy speeches...it's like i see. i think i still just have brain blockage of how f/f is perceived vs. m/m and i'm not...trying to be like well you must read/write f/f to be a good person because that's...stupid. it is just...i do not care about men nearly as much as i do women in any facet! it is not on purpose! or to prove anything or out of any sense of ~activism. i just cannot find men that interesting and i do not want to come across as standing on a soapbox or whatever. but idk. the difference is interesting to me? i felt like it was SO easy to come up with random tidbits of ideas/stories/pwp vague ideas for the like....2012-2018 era and now i'm stuck half the time and everything feels so repetitive. maybe there's just less...grounded in reality and the season is so jumpy without consistency (not of results but just of repetitive match ups or like...they are in the same place. and talk to each other off court) or whatever. i thought the olympics was going to be ripe with rpf happenings but no! it was just this weird "qinwen isn't friendly" bullshit. tho i guess that did result in one v good fic so there's that. idk. i have no point here.
already on AO3 pairings (* indicates ive written them already, from only this season, restricted from dec 2023 to now)
jannik/carlos (192)
roger/rafa (46)
holger/casper* (39)
daniil/stefanos (34)
karen/andrey (16)
novak/rafa (15)
grigor/andrey* (12)
daniil/andrey (11)
novak/andy (10)
flavio/ben(12)
jannik/sonego (8)
stefanos/zverev (7)
hubert/iga (6)
carlos/ferrero (6)
nikola/mate (5)
fritz/zverev (5)
jess/maria* (4)
iga/qinwen* (4)
draper/jannik (4)
novak/roger (3)
aryna/iga* (3)
karo/iga (3)
andrey/zverev (2)
daniil/daria (3)
paula/aryna* (2)
holger/jannik (2)
elena/aryna* (2)
carlos/novak
grigor/hubert
novak/holger* (2)
emma/bianca* (2)
iga/elena* (1)
qinwen/li na* (1)
naomi/iga*
maria/serena
jannik/carlos is soooo dominant it's crazy...good for them etc. the gap between m/m and f/f is wiiiiild but not really surprising. other pairings i've written but before this year angie/andrea, caro/serena, caro/alizé, caro/kristina, borna/donna.
potential pairings (that i would write, probably)
iga/bianca
novak/denis
aryna/jess
madi/sloane
jess/madi
coco/iga
jasmine/iga
donna/maria (technically already wrote this but)
elena/qinwen
holger/denis (spider man meme basically)
retirement fic still has a hold on me...which is so dumb but it does. but it never hits the way i want it to. maria/serena/caro/angie and any iteration of them....you have my attention. there's other pairings that i'd never write but think are interesting. jess/taylor, emma/qinwen is like...i can see the vision and i deeply respect it but i cannot make it work. reading it, hell yes. idk. i am back at a point where writing feels very useless and too self-indulgent and the payoff isn't really worth it but. who knows. off-season is a great time to make shit up.
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snickerdoodlles · 1 year ago
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buckle up butter cup, i have QUESTIONS: 1, 2, 3 (👀), 11, 12, 15, 17 (👀), 22, 24, 32, 38, 40
I'll take your essay in MLA format plz <3
ah shit, i forgot my citations 😭
1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?
my current default is Libre Franklin! i actually cycle through fonts a lot? i like the editing trick of changing your font to help catch errors and clunky writing, and sometimes i'll switch the font of my doc if i'm feeling particularly stuck while i'm writing. idk how many people know this, but you can change the default font/formatting/color of google docs, and i do it constantly 😂
2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?
I write by hand a lot actually! I went through 2.5 notebooks alone last year iirc. I always write in pen -- writing by hand helps me gets ideas out of my head faster, and part of that is that i can't undo/backspace what i write. i just gotta move on. and since i'll have to rewrite it anyways when i type it up, writing by hand really helps me get that first rough draft mess out. it also helps me discard the really crap ideas from that first draft -- sometimes the typed doc that it distills into is completely different than what's on paper, and we're all grateful for it.
3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?
WRITING IN FRIENDS DMS!!!! nothing gets my ideas flowing better than a friend to bounce them around with, and nothing helps me solidify and distill ideas like needing to explain them to someone. i am so bad about sending friends multiple screens worth of written scenes in their DMs (i am very fortunate to have friends who let me do this). this ritual is cursed because my preferred DM platform is tumblr, and i actually rarely remember to save these writings to something more permanent like a doc (pour one out for the many, many, MANY writings lost in DMs <3)
11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?
*stares at writing notebook* *stares at lost DM fics* kill your darlings
real answer lol: if there's something i really like, i can usually find a way to bring it back into a WIP. i'm really good at that sort of adaptive thinking, but part of why i'm good at that is because i am a ruthless darling killer. all of my editing is very much focused on how all the pieces of a story work in harmony to each other and if something doesn't fit within that, that's not the story for it. but sometimes the reason why a thing doesn't work in the story is because its in the wrong place and since I have no issue removing things that don't work, it's a lot easier to find a better place for it if you're not fixated on keeping it in a specific spot. and for any darling that never makes its way back to its home story, it goes into my mental compost heap to possibly seed into something new for a future story.
12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules
fool proof way to write in the shower, perfect recall when im trying to remember a story idea i laid out in DMs, the perfect cure to my adhd executive dysfunction.
15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?
i'm an avid annotator but only for like...general knowledge? all of my textbooks, reference book, and journal articles/papers are littered with annotations and other marginalia (this is partially why i have so many colored ink ballpoint pens actually 😂). there was a hot minute where i tried to do this for general story/poetry books, but...ehh???? i never quite got into that because usually i just lose myself in the story and my external thoughts come out better in friend DMs or post tags ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
as for the others-- dog ear, no, i don't like the look of bent pages. plus i have a loooot of bookmarks i'm still not using because they're one of those Cheap Art Merch things lol. i absolutely read in the bath (if i take a bath, because ya girl gets BORED), but usually im grabbing one of my travel edition books jic something happens to it, anything electronic i hold over the edge so it won't fall in.
17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.
will respond in a separate post so i can be extra annoying!! lmk if there's a specific WIP you're hoping to hear about XD
22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?
hrmmhmMm define organized?
zero organization to notebooks. those are for Throwing Up Ideas, organization would give me writer's block or anxiety. similar for anything that winds up in my phone notes -- even if i could organize them better, i probably wouldn't? they're kinda like a part 2 to the writing notebook for me jotting down ideas, esp stuff that i don't think will become proper stories. proper stories are on google drive because i don't have a better option. fics there are separated by fandom. series and multi-chapter fics get their own folders, individual stories stay out in the general folder. i also have a folder for posted/finished one-shots and a compost folder for discarded story ideas to help keep the clutter down
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24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?
...how much does friend DM yelling count? i love plotting out stories in friend DMs, it's one of my favorite things to do, but i don't like. force myself to stick with anything either. i don't like rigorous story outlines, i prefer a more organic and flexible approach to writing stories. the best i can manage for a story outline is a general bullet list of story points i hope to hit. i like research a lot (wikipedia rabbit holes my beloved <3), but i don't usually worry about going too in-depth for it. it's really good fuel for story ideas and the brainstorming process, but like. i write fic. i care a lot about being sensitive and careful with other people's cultures and histories, but otherwise i don't fret the details and minute because my goal here is to share silly stories.
32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?
uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
this is really hard for me because i never read stories as individual lines. that said, i was thinking earlier of that poem (poem line?) "a hand has five fingers. five fingers and five thousand wants." because talk about kim-core, but i don't remember what its from and google isn't helping.
that said, hope y'all are ready for me to reblog this and this 583478 times when we finally hit proper hogswatch season <333
38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?
..........i had an answer in mind when i first saw this question, but i just forgot everything now that i'm here (am i even a writer?? surely not.)
maybe this will come back to me later.
40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.
you get "the more loving one" by wh auden because i am ALWAYS thinking of this poem. #predictable
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[[ writer asks ]]
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mukamibabe · 2 years ago
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Hi!
Maybe a scenario on Karlheinz and Richter getting addicted to their s/o's blood? Like they had her blood once and ever since became addicted to it.
ok... because i'm not sure if you meant karl and richter separately or not so.. i present you with all three options: karlheinz, separate, richter, separate and then both! karlheinz and richter being addicted to their s/o's blood. i.. just got another thought of them ,, 'accidentally' getting addicted to eachother's s/o's blood's(?). ? i dont feel like im phrasing it right. and if that was terrible grammar? i don't have an excuse other than - sometimes i'm dumb sdhfksdf anyways. i may post that last idea in another post, kinda depends if anyone wants it/?? but for now!!:
also. it killed me to actually write short scenarios for once lmao also if the cuts bother anyone just let me know?? im not new to tumblr etiquette but its been a while jdskfhsd if anyone has issues with it please tell me bc i have no idea
karlheinz + richter sakamaki getting heavily addicted to their s/o's blood. (both separate and also. not lol)
umm, for content warnings i guess, there's really not much to any of this but is more like.. a mental dive into like.. their sanity during this ?? ahfdss i almost want to say it gets yandere-ish, but honestly i'm not sure. dialovers has really confused me with such lmao
if this isn't to your liking/what you preferred, i'll rewrite to your liking!! still not sure if i'm making sense but its 4 am. yea i know i write everything at 3-4 am buuut.. everything still comes out ok right??? DSjfhdsf idk i feel like it also came out more of like. a poem or something. hfhghd just let me know ok?? thank you for the requests as always <3
edit: this might seem a little sloppy ? maybe? hopefully not ??? i ended up writing this a while back and coming back to something after a while .. is tricky. i still really hope this is okay!! i need to get content out hjgfdsf busy times ;;
karlheinz
He wasn't sure how it happened. He could recall when, however. As cheesy as it may be, Karlheinz' first taste of them was, for some reason, one of the things he'd craved the most since a long time. After he had gotten just a taste of their blood for the first time, it almost drove him mad with how much he wanted more. Not only because controlling that itch is difficult (though not exactly a struggle for a more powerful vampire such as himself), but also because he couldn't put a finger on why. Why did their blood taste like nobody else's he's had? It was almost annoying with how Karlheinz' thoughts were busy running constantly, the taste stuck in his mouth yet, there was none of it.
It was dangerous. For both of them.
If the king started to lose himself even more, which he already was, for some reason he couldn't piece together, which then added yet another thing to his mental, and physical torment. Something in him snapped that very first bite, and ever since, the man has felt himself lose his grip on both himself as well as reality. Even if he had indulged, the more frequently he did so, the more likely death was to approach his beloved.
And for whatever reason, even daring to think about living without them was painful. He felt as if he should keep them isolated, protected from his desires that only got greedier day by day. Was it fear? Karlheinz did not believe so, but what he did believe was that this had to end. Before he truly went mad. Before they die. In which Karlheinz would tear them apart, savoring their delectable, deadly blood for the last time. Perhaps it'd be better that way. If they no longer existed in the world, it would make things so much easier for Karlheinz.
This likely wasn't love, Karlheinz knew so already. But did it matter? As long as he could keep them to himself, with no one to interrupt.. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. For it to just be the two of them, his sweet little thing that makes the man want to succumb constantly. 
To be rid of them was definitely the best option, if both Karlheinz and his precious prey held any value for their life. This sudden downslide of his sanity was a first, and every possible way he could think of for handling it did not please him. If Karlheinz kept them, they’d be completely drained after a point of time. If he disposed of them, there’d be an emptiness to Karl that couldn’t be filled. Letting them live but keeping a distance from Karl would not work, either. The thought of anyone else drinking their blood was almost... painful.
There was another option, however, if such thing was possible. 
To turn them. To stake his claim over them forever.
There were to many options. None of which he wanted to pursue, really. He wasn’t sure about any of it. He wasn’t sure how they managed to beguile him in such a way.
What he did know was that this obsession he had over them- the way they had him completely spellbound, somehow- was frustrating. And, it was definitely not going to last for long.
richter
In the perspective of this brooding vampire, love at first sight was nonexistent. The way he treated his prey almost said otherwise, though it certainly wasn’t love. Nor did it have anything to do with sight; rather, it was taste. He had always been an obsessive man, an obsessive lover. It was almost inevitable for everyone he managed to get close with. The number of such is low, for sure, especially for being someone his age, but regardless, this has happened before.
Unlike his awful brother, Richter could expect this. He foresaw it the moment he even considered drinking their blood. It wouldn’t be the first time, and, if they are able to survive his obsession, which was already pretty intense, then hopefully it’d be the last. It also wouldn’t the first time he’s said such a thing.
To his own dismay, he knows this should end. He’s not concerned for himself, but his beloved, rather. As odd as it may seem, the man has loved before. His view of love may be just as strange as the rest of his family, but did it matter? His love also just so happened to be one of the reasons he was thriving, both figuratively and literally. Blood was a powerful thing, and after so many years, Richter could admire it, at least slightly. At the very least, he was thankful. 
However, in this case? Their blood was purely his. He knew this, yet, he worships it. He worships them, for being his, for being such a bewitching creature. Maybe it wasn’t just them, perhaps it was just his nature to dive deep into any sort of attraction he develops. Maybe it was something else completely. 
He knew what he had to do. It would be merciful. The ‘humane’ thing to do. 
As if he had morals. 
His love was not safe near him, and truthfully, it was a genuine concern whether or not they’d survive Richter’s never-ending hunger for everything they had to offer him. Blood, body, soul. But, he wasn’t strong enough to do so. They were his weakness. 
And he planned to keep them for as long as possible.
+ bonus karlheinz & richter 
Again. 
Of course.
Fate was not kind to Richter, and he was aware of this. Yet, it seemed the world was not content with allowing him to not compete for love. 
If this was even a matter of ‘love’. It was definitely arguable- he enjoyed their company, sure, but whether their company beat their blood taste? There was a clear winner, for now, anyways.
Yet again, the younger Sakamaki must fight for what he desires. Because, naturally, his elder sibling yet again had no need to fight for anything. It was them. The one Richter had grown ..attached to, putting it lightly. And what does Karlheinz do? Swoop in and try to seduce them into his own arms?
It was horrid. But, unsurprisingly, not the first, and definitely wouldn’t be the last. It seemed to be the way the world worked- Obviously fate favored Karlheinz over Richter. Surely.
Karlheinz did not believe so. Was there an issue with seeking out what you desire? Karlheinz knew what good blood tasted like, had sampling plenty throughout his life. He just had an eye for it, you could say. Apparently, this was something he had in common with his brother- the dark haired man had a knack for picking out good prey, something Karlheinz couldn’t deny. So, why wouldn’t he try to get a taste? 
In Karl’s eyes, if they truly were a good little pet, they wouldn’t need to even think of any options. Why refuse him? He could show them a world so much better than any way his brother might have already.
Unfortunately, as lovely as it may be, at least for Karl, the two brothers can’t fight forever. Eventually, one of them will give up, despite both of them sharing yet another similar characteristic- determination. Ambition. Stubbornness, even. 
It’d be a constant tug-of-war over the prey, and at some point, their toy might lose themself before they choose one brother over another. Neither Sakamaki will allow for it. They belonged to them. Not both, exactly, but with the rate in which things were happening, neither were going to give up any time soon.
Perhaps all three would just have to get used to endless sharing.
#HGdfshgf more about putting things under read mores: i know it's good to do so where like. . there's like. mature/triggering content#and also longer content. i just have no idea what's *too* long and what's not lol#i mean? i dont think anyone's annoyed by it and i'm 100% overthinking but shhh let me#but also dont lol thanks#its terrible and awful!! and a waste of my time!!!#cindy said :) tantrum time#no honestly not really jsdfhsdf im just tired and abusing the tagging feature. and using it as my diary lmao#also.. ive been fixated on other things. dl is still here i promise#its actually providing me lots of inspo so thats fun#honestly i'm just trying to figure out how to balance my free time more#life requires lots of work and im just ! living Jsfdjdf i want to keep myself occupied with other activities that im fixated over#first one being : genshin#the other one is a secret but its super dark. like very. anyways#yeah that's where ive been#then?? then i just fell into naruto again somehow lmao#it always happens to me :'((((#FJDHFJDSFH#right now the fixation is on sasuke. for some reason. umm#KHFdsfs#honestly idk if i like this but i just needed to post something#or else i'd get eaten up by guilt#i hope this is okay ;;;;#Diabolik Lovers#yandere diabolik lovers#like i said i feel like i went with a completely different style with this one ..?? i dont think i love it but.. whatever#karlheinz#karlheinz sakamaki#karlheinz sakamaki x reader#richter sakamaki#richter sakamaki x reader
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luveline · 2 years ago
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hi, jade, first time talking to you.
i still can't believe you got me reading about a child and i'm actually liking it 🗣️🗣️🗣️ lmao, nothing against babies, i just don't particularly like to read stuff about them (meaning i avoid books centered around them), but here we are.
i really like your writing, i guess it might be because (besides being good) you seem to have fun with it, and as someone who truly loves the idea of writing but has a hard time finishing their work, i must ask: how do you do it?
like, honestly. i get the motivation that comes from simply wanting to do something and then doing it. but do you plot or just write at random? do you write shitty first drafts and then go around rewriting? do you also feel like you're a phony sometimes or you always feel like you know what you're doing? idk, i'm a little stuck rn and i guess i just wanna hear read something that helps me finish something i decide to write.
sorry for bombarding you with this 🫠
hi baby
I do have fun! It's all embarrassing guilty wish fulfilment disguised as proper writing I promise you. And please don't be sorry, I'm really okay to answer I don't mind one bit.
Do I plot? Not usually! For most of my bigger fits, it usually comes from my desire to write a scene that I've thought of and making it into something with like a theme or a mood. For example with Day of the Dead, I knew I wanted to write the first scene where reader is sitting on Eddie's front porch, and I knew I wanted to write the scene at the end where they kiss in Steve's car. So that was all about bridging the gap, and just telling that story where the reader was insecure and Steve literally liked her for all the things she was insecure about. I was writing it as I went along. So there is some plot there but not a lot, because I find it very hard to write dialogue if I already know how the scene is ending — the fun for me is in actually writing and planning out the scene as I go!
Do I write shitty first drafts? Kind of! If I'm really struggling with something then I use the ideas but start a new draft. Mostly though, I write (and edit as I go, after a couple of paragraphs I'll reread and fix mistakes) and then at the end of the draft I do go through and read it a couple of times to fix things I'm not happy with (like overuse of commas, bad wording, not enough description) so YES, absolutely there is rewriting!! I'm sorry I don't have a more precise method to share with you, but it's usually just like that :D
Do I feel like a phony sometimes? I'm gonna say no. I don't feel like I don't know what I'm doing as myself as a writer, but in comparison to other writers then yes? I know that doesn't make much sense. I personally don't see my writing as anything that special (which I know ur not supposed to say). Like when people compliment me I I just think like thanks so much but what are you talking about. So actually maybe I do feel like a phony? Im confident in my ability to tell stories I enjoy, but I think I feel a big disconnect between that and other people enjoying them too. It's an insane privilege to be read by others! Insane! TLDR : I wouldn't necessarily say I don't know what I'm doing, but it is surprising to me that people enjoy the finished product, because on a technical level I don't think I have the skill or ability that others do.
I really like writing (shocker) and I'm in this amazing position where I can share it with others, so though I don't always know what I'm doing I suppose it doesn't actually matter once you find 'your' audience
I hope these answers can give u some clarity but if they don't or you have something else to ask, please ask!
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wooahaes · 2 years ago
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for the fanfic ask game: C, F, I, K
hiii savv <3 this is a long ask so i'll stick most of it under a readmore >:3
C: What member do you identify with most?
hoshi because tiger agenda /j
out of everyone i write for...? i think either wonwoo, woozi, or chris.
wonwoo because i think i tend to be a quieter person most of the time (sometimes i have days where i want to be Really social--but i'll usually take the backseat in heavily social situations), plus something something books and video games. woozi and chris because i think i tend to work hard on things that i'm passionate about and i find success in when other people appreciate those things. and also chris's low self esteem. also someone once said chris said he had a crush on cloud strife lmao me the fuck TOO babey thats one of my favorite edgy losers!!!! chris and his dad jokes also get me...
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
the saddest part of this specifying 'dialogue scenes' is the fact ive written other stuff i rly like but its not!!! dialogue!!! >:( so i cant talk abt it </3
anyway!! from singing in the rain:
[context: reader confronts jisung on the rooftop abt the fact they like each other]
“Han.” You looked him in the eyes. “If you don’t want to be with me, that’s okay. I just… I wanted to tell you, and I figured out why Hyunjin was so pissed at me. He thought I was using Felix to get over you. And… I don’t blame him for thinking that,” you looked away. “I wasn’t–I really, really did think I liked Felix. I just… I didn’t know it’d always be you until after I kissed him.”
“Always be… me?” He furrowed his brows, fingers curled around the edges of the bench. “I don’t understand.”
“I think… I’ve been looking for you in every person I’ve tried dating, and that’s why it never worked out. If you didn’t love me back, I would have moved on eventually,” you admitted. “But… If you don’t, then just say right now, okay? And I won’t hold it against you, and we can go back to being best friends.”
“I can’t love you,” he said outright. “Not when Felix–”
You met his gaze again. “Jisung. If Felix didn’t like me, would you hesitate?”
He said nothing for a while. “I didn’t think you’d love me. Everyone kept telling me to tell you, and… I couldn’t. I didn’t want to do it while Felix was hurting.”
“I get that,” you dragged your fingers against the painted wood, noticing the way blue chips stuck to your skin. “I didn’t want to, either. But… Chan said that we shouldn’t let other people stop us. He said Felix wanted us to be happy.” You paused for a moment. “Which… really sounds like him. It kinda sounds like all of us: wanting everyone else to be happy even if it hurts us.”
“I feel bad,” he said. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”
You scooted a little closer, cautiously taking Jisung’s hands into your own. “I think… Someone’s going to come into Felix’s life and they’re going to love him the way he deserves to be loved. I wasn’t that person. I’ll always love Felix the way I love the rest of our friends,” you reached up, caressing Jisung’s face. He  leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut. “But… I love you more. I know it’s early to say it, but… I really think it’s you.”
Jisung opened his eyes, watching you for a moment. “Can I kiss you?”
i will try to not go off abt this so much even tho it does come right before one of my favorite pieces of writing ("Kissing you felt like he could breathe again") but <3
i think when i made the decision to do a rewrite of enouement for stray kids, jisung felt like one of the more obvious options. i considered chris, but settled on han bc. idk im soft for him and had a different idea for chris--
im a hopeless romantic in the end so i think there's something very romantic about the sentiment of "i was always looking for you in every person i dated" tbh. while i don't believe in soulmates much (not in the idea of a soulmate being a single person but multiple people you can be compatible with), i like to think that jisung and reader in this fic were soulmates. it was always going to be each other in the end.
also i just like the sentiment of "i wasn't going to be this person for felix, but he'll one day be loved the way he deserves--i don't think we should feel guilty that i wasn't that person" tbh esp after dealing with that own shit in my life recently since i did end up having to have tht convo with a few friends over a dude who was crushing on me, more for myself than for anyone else
please know i almost picked the other short bit i like of reader basically breaking felix's heart bc i kind of like the way i wrote him (rambling and upset but still trying to look at a bright side while in front of them) there
I:��Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
soulmate aus. ignore that i literally jut said about that i don't believe in soulmates--i'm a slut for a good soulmate au when they're written well and it isn't insta-love (i'm down for an instant "oh, hey, let's try this out!!" kind of thing rather than a immediate kiss n tru luv sort of deal).
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
as of right now? uhhh god... i don't write pure angst too often but both of these don't have happy endings:
i can't run away - vernon fic that has very little romance written into it. vernon and reader (who are implied to have liked each other as more-than-friends) were best friends since middle school and reader has to cope with the process of losing him as the two enter into early adulthood and drifting apart, pretty much. it's lowkey a vent fic.
the seungkwan spin-off one-shot for sweet night :) i can't say much here but holly knows how it ends lmao
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ankhisms · 4 years ago
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ok im just going to rewrite the post i tried to make talking about alice in borderland bc tumblr decided to eat it but i finished it and. well. i have mixed feelings
tws for rape mention and antiblackness (specifically appropriating black culture)
so there were a good amount of things that i liked about this show, i do really like mysteries and thrillers and despite being a horror it wasnt too gorey which can be a problem for me bc i dont like a lot of gore in horror. the visuals in this show were very well done along with the filming having some really interesting and well shot scenes, there were a lot of moments where i found myself going oh thats a really good shot oh i love the framing in that oh the colors in that are so good. the actors all did fantastic in their roles as well.
i think that this show is much more character driven to me more than anything despite having a very complex, mysterious, and dark premise for the plot where we only barely get some answers illuminating what might be going on at the end of the 8 episodes. the characters are probably what i liked most about this show, i love arisus character because of how starkly he contrasts the antagonists in this show. the antagonists are shown to be saying stuff about how they think that the world of the game is "how the real world and humans actually are were all evil in reality and this is just showing how we all really are" (which is a mindset that i DESPISE) and arisu directly opposes that mindset. arisu is shown over and over again to be shocked and horrified that people are doing these horrible things to each other and he continues to do everything he can to save EVERYONE and not just himself, risking his life in the process and at one point even trying to get everyone else to let HIM die so that they can survive.
the friendships in this show were also what i liked especially the friendship between the first trio, and the way things played out with them leaving arisu alone was absolutely devastating. arisus friendship with usagi is then really good, i really loved that she saved him from letting himself just die laying on the ground in despair because she saw herself in him because she had also felt like that when her father died. her telling arisu that she wanted him to live really stuck with me and they make a good team and are good partners. i feel like friendship is an overall theme in this show which is always something im a sucker for and was interesting to see with the two creators of the beach during the last episode
my big issues with this are first the attempted rape scene in episode 6. usagi doesnt get raped, but she is assaulted by being held down by people and licked by one of the main antagonists who very clearly states his intent to rape her, shes able to escape and the scene is framed as a bad and horrifying event done by a character who has been shown to us to be an awful scumbag who just kills whoever he wants whenever he wants and thinks he can do whatever he pleases. hes then burned alive later and is killed which like good but despite this scene being framed as bad and horrifying, it being included at all was just really awful? like watching that out of nowhere made me feel terrible, it was such a jarring thing to happen at all and personally i feel like including scenes where a character is almost raped even if the rape doesnt actually happen is still just not good and something that i feel like could be avoided entirely.
theres also the issue of a nonblack character having dreads as her hairstyle which i shouldnt have to explain why thats a bad and antiblack
also i dont want to overstep since im tme so i wont say much on this but i felt like i should mention it, i was suprised that this show has a canon trans woman in it? she doesnt die and isnt harmed or misgendered, and in a flashback we see her mother accepting her and calling her beautiful. i dont think that her actress is trans tho i couldnt find anything confirming that when i looked her up
like i said in the beginning i have very mixed feelings about this show, the plot is interesting and theres a good build up of suspense and a sense of wanting to know whats going on. the visuals and acting are great and i do really love the main characters in this show. but the attempted rape scene especially really just 😬😬😬😬 yknow. its like idk this sure was a show that i watched. i feel like i could write more thoughts but tumblr already ate my last post and a lot of my feelings are a lot of (waves my hands around while going ehhhhh out loud)
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booksndraspberryjam · 6 years ago
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21 questions
I got tagged by rei rei (too bad I’m calling you this wether you like it or not) so here it goes! @buckyforbreakfast
Tagging a few people who can do it if they feel like it! @notimetoblog @sebbysbuck @sebbysstangirl @strawberrybucky @sincerelymlg @writing-and-procrastinating @whocaresifyoudisagree ✨
Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.
Nickname: viti, vit or pipi (tho only my siblings call me pipi)
Zodiac: a very unusual Aries
Height: 5’2”
Last movie I saw: uhh I saw at the airplane mamma mia: here we go again, it was good and made me wanna go to grecce and sing abba
Last thing googled: zara’s online website in Spain
Favorite musician: the lumineers, hozier, aurora, mumford and sons, gabrielle aplin, sam smith, birdy, james arthur
Song stuck in my head: rewrite the stars by James Arthur (tho I love the Zendaya and Zac version too)
Other blogs: none!
Do I get asks: not really, so feel free to do it! I would love to
Following: 41, so feel free to reblog so I can follow more blogs!!
Amount of sleep: between 7-8 hours, I cannot function with more or less hours than that
Lucky number: uhh idk
What I’m wearing: mom fits and a light blue sweater
Dream job: doing something really cool in the entertainment industry (I’m majoring to become an actress) or starring in anything with seb or adelaide kane or anne hathaway or keira knightley or rdj or toby regbo well you get it
Dream trip: Italy or UK with my best friend or alone I really don’t care
Favorite food: pizza, pasta, idk i also really like veggies and fruits and im vegetarian so...
Play any instruments: lmao nO, in fact in music during school i had to go to summer school because i played the guitar so poorly 😂👏🏼
Languages: spanish and english, but i wish to learn italian so i’ll probably do that this year (i won’t but let me pretend i will)
Random fact: i have hypothyroidism and im very complicated when buying shoes (in fact the ones i bought on this trip i bought them in zara kids cause i have small feet)
also, im a premature baby. i was born on the 6th month and spent 3 months in an incubator and then i had nurses living at my house, i wore an oxygen tank until my first year but i was supposed to wear it until i was 6, luckily it didn’t come to that.
Describe yourself as aesthetic things: rainy days, scottish highlands, books, tea, long road trips, flower fields and idk what else
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fmdxjerome · 7 years ago
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hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;
its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)
also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 
anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!
Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy
-Anti idol
-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.
-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)
-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)
-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)
-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines
-Hoe but not really
-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme
-Is actually lovely
-But acts like a shit
-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second
-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON
-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything
-French™
-Will call you baby at some point in your life
-Signature smirk
-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego
-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france
-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)
-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)
- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)
-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)
-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )
-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)
-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick
-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 
-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)
-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that
-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho
-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)
-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )
-Smooth™
-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask
idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES
CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10
-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)
-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.
-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)
-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps
-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,
-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice
-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)
-Actually hates the rest lol
-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille
-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)
-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE
-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)
-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome
-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi
-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob
-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance
TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20
-middle school very nice
-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD
-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely
-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.
-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in
-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)
-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.
-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:
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-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)
-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.
-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)
-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW
-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!
-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)
-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.
-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies
-Learning how to cook ;3;
-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2
-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.
-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers
-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)
-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years
-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME
-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)
-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight
-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy
-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME
-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down
-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )
-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros
-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.
-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder
ADULTHOOD age 20 to now
-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™
-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name
-Fuck_love.mp3
-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”
-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol
-EMO
-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)
-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????
-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)
-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz
-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good
-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;
-imfine.jpeg
-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify
-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are
-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 
-instagram is a great song
-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  
-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3
-The fact she linked to him now is spook
-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3
TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!
also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN
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minjve · 8 years ago
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low on SELF-ESTEEM, so you run on GASOLINE.
 HELLO BABES. IT’S CHELS HERE WITH MY LOVELY LIL SECOND CHAr. i was debating on whether to rewrite my intros for a while now bUT, then i realized that i’d p much need to do over minjae’s for suRE since the lil hoe has changed SO MUCH from when i first introduced him to the rp. :’) my child. SO YEAH, i’ll try and go through a quick run down of minjae’s personality both pre-mind wipe and post-mind wipe. i have his STATISTICS and his PROFILE up, as well as some MUSE posts and some HEADCANONS. so feel free to look through those as well!! and i have a few plot ideas over HERE, but not many, so we can possibly talk about some other things that we can do with our chars!! ALSO LIKE THIS AND I’LL HIT UP UR IM’S SO WE CAN CHAT SOME MORE!!
PRE-MIND WIPE MINJAE: so minjae def used to be a little asshole when he first joined the group. he was VERy much distrustful of everyone, and also lowkey afraid of getting to close to anyone else (bcus abandonment issues the hoe still can’t let go of rip. and also he just had to deal w/ some pretty shitty ppl from his loop growing up, so there’s that too). so yeah, he was initially very cold and withdrawn, but sorta kind of started opening up with a few people and gaining a few close friends as time went on?? and even though he’s definitely better about being less of a hostile asshole he’s still very ?? pretentious. and snarky. and petty AF. just you know... slightly less of an angry bitter grandpa? he still doesn’t like dealing with people that much, bcusmpeople and their unpredictability just make him anxious as hell and he’s not here for it.
even though he’s definitely softened up to others over time, he’s still v blunt and straightforward w/ things as well. he can be kind of tactless with other people’s feelings at times? lIKE, he just doesn’t always necessarily think about how what he says will affect someone (this guy. a genius. hONESTLY), but it’s not really intentional AND HE’S WORKING ON IT. HE’S TRYING TO IMPROVE HIMSELF I PROmise.
he used to have a bit of a hoe past ,, but sssh we don’t talk about that.
also used to claim he was emotionally detached, but also somehow got attached to both fwb situations he used to be in. so like. he’s genuinely an actual rl mess.
MAINLY HE’S JUST A BIT OL’ DOrk who loves crosswords/any sort of puzzle tbh, books, sci fi franchises, oscarwildeoscarwildeoscarwilde, fuzzy blankets and to lowkey be cared for EVEN IF HE NEVER SAYS IT. 
or ok... that’s how he USED TO BE. NOW LETS MOVE ONTO HOW HE’S CHANGED A BIT AFTER THE MIND WIPE.
POST-MIND WIPE MINJAE: since he has no actual memory of his parents leaving him/everything else that’s made him angsty, bitter and angry over the years, he won’t be NEARLY as hostile as he once was. he’ll still be withdrawn for sure, but for the most part? he’s just gonna be extremely quiet and anxious. like he’d gotten used to this group long ago so his social anxiety never gave him much trouble?? but yeah, now it’s gonna be p bad and he’ll wanna stick to himself for a bit tbh.
i can’t imagine minjae nEver snapping back at someone who gives him tude tho, so like... even though he’s gonna be a much more reseRved version of his former self (since, again, he has none of those memories that initially made him such a bitter, petty mESS), he’ll still clap back w/ some smart ass remarks if someone pushes him to it. SO THE LITTLE SNARKY MOUTH IS STILL THERE Tbh, he’s just not as quick to be an asshole as he probs would’ve been before??
probly gonna be an even bIGGEr nerd than he was before tbh ,, bcus he’s gonna remain tucked up w/ a book as far away from everyone else as possible at first. RIP.
he’ll probs still be more open to friendships than he ever was before tho since like... he doesn’t have all of those trust issues, thanks to those memories that initially CREATED them being gone, so AS LONG AS UR PATIENT HE WILL OPEN UP TO YOU AND BECOME UR PAl.
other headcanons
terrified of crowds and the dark. like. mAJOrly.
loves reading, but also is a big fan of writing. mostly journaling tbh, so if he can get a hold of a notebook or ANYThing while he’s in the facility, he’s gonna be doodling his thoughts down a lot to try and conquer a bit of that anxiety that being stuck around so many ppl he “doesn’t know” for so long brings him.
pretends like he’s above mainstream pop music (but also lowkey has a super secret obsession w/ sistar and knows all of their choreo).
his time loop was in italy, which is p much where he grew up, so when he gets pissy (or is feeling nostalgic/homesick) he usually starts going off in italian. ofc he doesn’t reMEmber living in italy, so when he starts randomly mumbling italian phrases he’s probs gonna be hella confused.
though his main three languages are english, italian and korean, he’s fluent in all spoken, signed and dead languages bcus of his power. 
he gets massive headaches every now and then, especially when he’s accessing a lot of information in his mind all at once.
actually has limited abilities in mind control? but only managed to use it a few times before the mind wipe. because he hasn’t accessed it much before, i imagine the researchers/scientists don’t actually know about that aspect of his peculiarity. 
loves him a nice, long documentary 
actually managed to teach himself the piano in the span of a few hours for fun, and has started to grow a bit fond of it ever since then
has back and forth moods of tight jeans, sharp af eyeliner and expensive af coats and sweaters to hoodies and no pants. fck pants.
it’s in his special feature on his profile, but he wears round framed glasses all the time. and he’s basically blind af w/o them. he hates wearing contacts though, so he just always sticks w/ his glasses.
IDK IF THERE’S ANYTHING ELSE. BUT THIS CLEARLY GOT TOO LONG. G2G.
(come love my messy bab pls)
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rexsilentium · 8 years ago
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❚ : : — ♚ ( Hiatus Notice )
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Alright guys, it is time for me to go. I have hinted and said this multiple times but here is the post for it. For those who have just followed me recently, I am sorry about the short notice ( and no warning for you ). Sorry this is long, but everything is important please read. 
I will be gone for the rest of June, all of July, and most of August. 
This is because I obtained a job at a summer camp and I will be there 24/7 for the rest of the summer. I really do apologise for this. I only recently came back to Red and I love him dearly. I will be back when I am done, I just don’t know if I will have service to even be on mobile. ( its in New Hampshire, and I have shit service pretty much anywhere that isn’t heavily populated. )
There is a read more because its long af.
Though I may be gone and working with kids, I do have plans for this blog. Listen up: 
1) I do plan on rewriting most of his bio. While the core concept is not leaving, the bio has been in REAL need for a rework. I will be adding his journey as well as his relationships to the gym leaders of Kanto. I will also be working on writing his relationship he has with Green as well. If I get to it and I want to, I may even work on post-alola, but don’t really be surprised if I don’t have it done because honestly, I really didn’t like the SuMo games. ( yea it was fun but really im kinda just really meh about it and didn’t like their attempt at bringing back Red and Green )
2) Verse Pages. I do actually have verses for Red. The page got deleted when I remade my theme to match the babe. But I’ll be trying to work on that. Maybe touch them up or put them back on somewhere. 
3) Team page. I actually have been needing to update this really bad. Hopefully i can work on their bios during camp. but idk if I will be able to get to all of it.
4) Relationships page. I will be adding the following people ( I will not be @ing you but essentially these people have interacted with Red enough that I am comfortable with them on the page ) Bri -- corvidmagicae Kitty -- laurxlle M -- lvl-0 Matilda -- caeciliam If you wanna be in the relationships page as well, just message me. I don’t mind. I am sure I forgot a few people anyway.
5) Threads. In regards to these, I will most likely NOT be working on them at the camp. Again, this is because I need service and idk if I will have any. I am sorry that I haven’t been doing the longer threads. RPing a mute can be VERY difficult for me and thus causes me to get frustrated and draft the thread for a later time. Essentially, if I do not have the motivation to do it, I keep it until I do. Please know its not because I want to do this. I had keeping drafts. its why I respond so quickly. But if I don’t then they just kinda get to be like “I’ll do it when I feel like it” and it really actually upsets me that this is the case, but seriously. I have tried to reply to half of these drafts and literally i CANNOT write anything.
I will be @ing you for these, just so you know that I do have them in my drafts. please please PLEASE forgive me that its taking me 5ever to reply to them.
@conceptualmortem // @caeciliam // @cryostasia // @extraplanaire // @corvidmagicae ( x2 ) // @spiritusdomine
If I have forgotten you, please tell me, you can send me a message anytime. You can either use the inbox or the private messages if you want.
6) The poll. Please vote if you haven’t. So far the multimuse blog is winning. I will be prepping for a multimuse blog when I come back. but I will ALSO be prepping Vahirom and the Tesla OC as well. 
7) I will be purging follower list upon arrival back. I regret to say this, but its PROBABLY going to happen. For those of you who don’t know. I have a total of 184 followers. I HIGHLY doubt that the number is going to stay that for long. It happens, I get it. People who are gone for long periods of time will lose people. But that’s not why I am going to purge the list. I also follow people who have been gone for 1+ years. I will be unfollowing those people. I will also most likely unfollow those who are non-mutuals ( i follow you because i want to interact , i rarely ever follow because i enjoy your posts -- though there are a few of you lol )
I will also be checking my follower list as well when i come back. I will not just unfollow people. I will also be following too. Course when I lose people, I also have new people come.
8) In the case you delete your blog and you have talked to me OOC. PLEASE at least come to me and tell me that you are okay. I do actually notice those whom I have talked to and I get really worried when you leave. Believe me. I had a frined who disappeared on my about 3 years ago and i FINALLY found them after these years. and it made me happy to know that they were okay. While you don’t have to do it, I do have some peace knowing that you are okay. 
9) Discord. No I will not be sharing my personal discord. BUT I DO HAVE a server with 2 lovely ladies. Here is that link: https://discord.gg/WYrqVN8
You guys will get titles when I get back too. You guys are probably gonna be stuck with limited options. But the 2 other ladies are admins so I am sure that they would be more than willing to help. We also have bots in there too. :3
Anyway. I think that is about it. I will be reblogging this a lot -- cause I’m gona be queuing it. Nothing else is gonna be in the queue so you probably will see this for the new week or so. I@m really sorry about that. 
I love you guys so much though. Again I am sorry that I have to leave. I pROMISE you guys that I will be back. okay? until then, you guys all have a good summer.
Note: if I do actually manage to get service, you can bet that I will be posting stuff on mobile.
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