#i feel bad bc i feel like we clog up the dash

[petruchio]

i was lowkey tumblr stalking asks you’ve answered before (i apologize i just love how in depth u answer) and now i wanna know your tierlist (A/B/C/D/F) for the songs on GUTS. include deluxe pls bc imo the deluxe tracks are better than many main album tracks hehe

well first off you can ALWAYS stalk me and never apologize for it, i love answering stuff and i love that people actually read it HAHA! so please <3 stalk away <3 i love it

i LOVE this question. i was going to make one of those images like the youtubers do for tier lists but then i realized i would have to explain myself anyway so im just going to give each song a letter grade and a little blurb about why i think this... so here goes 🤓

i actually have to put this under a cut because it got so long that i am not going to clog up people's dash with my long and way too detailed thoughts on GUTS but please read this if it is of interest bc i would love to continue discussing haha

so first i'm going to say to me overall guts is like a solid A-/A for a sophomore album. i don't think it's perfect but i think as far as showing growth from the first album, expanding on themes and sounds that were explored in sour, and just maturing while still feeling like a natural progression -- i think it does all of that really nicely while also managing to carve out a unique niche for olivia in the industry. so like. YES! great. (i have been saying that while i see olivia compared to taylor swift a lot, i think it's actually a much better comparison to compare her to avril lavigne in the early 2000s -- avril was originally "discovered" via performing with shania twain (which in some ways we could argue for being a taylor/olivia situation but in the 90s) and a lot of her early work and songwriting is influenced by the country music scene, but, just like olivia, her first album smashed onto the scene and captured the teenage zeitgeist in a really unique and special that was really of the moment it was released and dug into rock inspired hooks and sounds that resonated with the audience of young teens. if "driver's license" is olivia's "complicated," i think we can easily argue that "good 4 u" is her sk8r boi. (and deja vu is her i'm with you, the best single and best song in both of their discographies I SAID WHAT I SAID!) anyway all that is to say i think that GUTS and under my skin ALSO share a lot of parallels both in how they were marketed and the way they dive deeper into darker themes while expanding on a lot of what made the first album great, if perhaps not spawning the level of radio hits as the first album. anyway it's just something i think about that i don't see talked about all that much and i find it really interesting. i could keep going but i know that was an insane digression so let's get to the grades.)

all american bitch - B+ i think this song is a great opener and it has some really great lines in it -- the sarcasm makes it so fun and tongue in cheek and i actually like the scream, my reason for not being able to give it an A is just that i do feel like it's very much "putting on a persona" of being a rock punk chick, which is absolutely cool and is extremely well done, it just doesn't feel 100% authentic to me. like, i like the scream but it feels more like an acting performance than a genuine scream of anguish, but olivia is such an appealing actress that i'm like, yeah girl go off

bad idea right? - A+ this is the deja vu of the album for me. it is SUCH A GOOD SONG and it has the best video by far of any of the singles, it's so clever and creative and i actually really love her vocal delivery, it's bratty and obnoxious but for some reason it DOES feel authentic to me in a way AAB doesn't, i think it takes its influences and manages to reinterpret and transform them into something totally unique and personal to olivia and it's just GREAT. (i think a great example of how good this song is is honestly the kelly clarkson cover she did, it was a really fun cover but you could just tell that olivia's version works better, it's a song that feels like it could only be done by her and i love it for that.)

vampire - B i actually thought i'd rate this lower bc it is my least favorite song on the album but like, okay it's FINE. my issue with vampire is that 1) it feels like the label said "write another ballad that sounds like drivers license and we'll use that as the lead single" which i don't like, and 2) i've written before that my main issue with vampire is that it DOES NOT COMMIT to the genuinely cool metaphor that it attempts. i actually love the line "you only come out at night" because i think it's really clever and creative to extend the "sucking me dry" metaphor of a vampire. i think following that up with "i used to think i was smart but you made me look so naive" is such a let down and so cliche that it annoys me every time i hear the song. like, if the song instead was like "i should have known it was strange, you only come out at night/you said i tasted so sweet til nothing was left in my veins" or something i would think it was a great song. but instead we get that clunky cliche of a line and it irritates me. the song has potential but it just doesn't deliver.

lacy - A- (tw: ed) so i think that this song is about struggling with an ed and i think it is really amazing if you read it through that lens. i don't even really want to say that much more about it because when i saw someone say that on twitter and i listened to the song thinking about that, it hit me really hard and i think it's brilliantly done but it's intense. i think olivia said that it came out of a poem she wrote and i think that lacy is the personification of that really personal struggle and i think it's a beautiful and deeply sad metaphor and the song actually does it really well. i also really love her vocal delivery on the recording and i think it's beautifully produced, the layered vocals at the end are really gorgeous.

ballad of a homeschooled girl - A- honestly i have the same comments as i do about all american bitch except i just think this song is slightly better and feels a little more authentic. i think the lyrics on this one are really clever as well and i love the little production quirks like "how to flirt" and the outro is SO FUN and i love the sort of fourth wall break of "can't think of a third line" and the la la la that just kind of smashes into the end of the song, i think it works so well with the concept of the song so yeah. great.

making the bed - B+ this is a song where i'm like, there's nothing WRONG with it i just don't think it's particularly special, like it's a good song and it has some really great lyrics i just think it's a decent song that accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do. it's good. no real notes. my favorite lyric is "they tell me that they love me like i'm some tourist attraction" -- i love when the pop girls talk about the complexities of fame, and olivia seems strikingly self aware in a lot of her lyrics and that one is really a hard hitter. (it reminds me of billie's getting older song, "the things i once enjoyed just keep me employed now" and "another thing i ruined i used to do for fun" which are both lines that i feel like really do a nice job of exploring how it feels when your art and artistic expression becomes a job and a persona. i think billie and olivia are doing so much cool stuff and they both just seem like such cool and interesting girls. they just give the vibe that it would be so fun to get dinner with them and talk about their experience of teenage fame because they both seem to have some really interesting and complex insights about it.)

logical - B- tbh this song is kinda boring to me. it's fine but i just think it's a theme that is explored better in other songs. the one line i really like is "if rain don't pour and sun don't shine" because i like to imagine that it's a reference to taming of the shrew act iv scene v.

get him back! - A+ SO GOOD COME ON GET HIM BACK IS SO GOOD AHHHHHH i get mad thinking about the music video bc the iphone lens makes it so weird and i think this could've had an even better video without the iphone gimmick but holy cow this song is so good. it's so clever, it's so fun, it ROCKS. (though this is the point on the album where i start to get annoyed by all the production quirks, i think they are fun on a couple songs but we don't need the "is this the song with drums" thing, just play the song. there's only so much studio chatter that makes a song fun before it gets a little grating to listen to every time i want to play the song.) but this is a brilliant song. I WANNA MEET HIS MOM AND TELL HER HER SON SUCKS. has anyone ever more perfectly captured how it feels to be nineteen. ugh this song is so good.

love is embarrassing - A i actually really like this song and i think it's a really nice spiritual closer to sour. it does such a nice job of reflecting but in a funny, tongue-in-cheek, self aware way that i think is so appealing and cute. i love "you found a new version of me and i damn near started world war three" as a callback to "another actress i hate to think that i was just your type" and i LOOOVE the outro with "i'm planning out my wedding with some guy i'm never marrying" which i think is a fantastic line. i love the vocal delivery on the outro as well. (also this is an example for me of a song with no studio chatter or production gimmicks, and it's GOOD bc it's like, it doesn't need that! it's just a fun song! and i like it for that!!)

the grudge - A- honestly a beautiful song that captures a very specific feeling. i love the melody and the way she delivers "how could anybody do the things you did so easily?" the second verse is an absolute gut punch of what it feels like to come away from a toxic love. it has a couple clunkers (i'm not a fan of "trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers" which i think is just a bit awkward) but overall it's a lovely song and so raw.

pretty isn't pretty - A again just a really solid work. i love the guitar sound on it. and i think it does a really nice job of capturing another specific teenage emotion. one thing i love on GUTS is that it feels legitimately balanced between songs about heartbreak and songs about personal feelings and this song is one that i think does that second part very well. i really love the second prechorus line "it's in my phone it's in my head it's in the boys i bring to bed" and i think this song is really insightful and personal.

teenage dream - B my issue with this song is my same issue with hope ur ok which is that it just feels so aware of itself as AN ALBUM CLOSER and i find it a bit cloying. i think the theme is interesting and has potential but the song just annoys me because it feels kind of overdone. idk. i just don't love it. i get it and i get why it's there but i think there was a better way of closing the album in a more genuine way.

BONUS TRACKS RANKING LINK (i have to link a new post here since i hit the character limit on this post. geez lol)

[astroboots]

Feel free not to respond to this, but I have a question as someone who is new(ish) to tumblr etiquette: when you post a story, do you as a writer like it more when someone reblogs (which should be a given action obvi) with or without adding tags? I thought about this bc godDAMN Cherry Lips is excellent and I immediately hit that reblog button, but I didn’t leave tags bc part of me worries about being intrusive, if that makes any sense? What are your thoughts on how you like people to interact with your work? Do you like comments? Dms? Reblogs with tags?

Sincerely,

Someone who is bad at tumblr but loves your writing

Hi lovely!

Firstly thank you for your kind comment on Cherry Lips!! You are an absolute sweetheart!! 😍 🥰

Second, this is a really good question! Tumblr etiquette can really differ from blogger to blogger. I personally think there is no wrong/right way to interact so long as you try to be kind and polite. Beyond that, I'm a proponent of just have fun with it!

My own experience with tags, is that I love them? It's such a fun and quirky tumblr function and I use them myself a lot. I know that some readers prefers reblogging with tags, cause that way it doesn't clog up their own dash. So please feel free to use them if you like using tags there is no wrong/right way. 💖

As a writer it means the world to me when I get feedback. There's something very special as a writer to read other people's view of how they felt when they read my words. Whether it's in the form of emojis, keyboard smash, tags, reblogs or comments, they're all very special to me. Likes are also special to me because it's an indication that someone took the time to read something I wrote (or that they're bookmarking it for a later read). It's a wonderful feeling as a writer to know that something I wrote resonated with someone else.

I am also very conscious that we all have different relationships not just with tumblr but with online social interaction in general. Some of us are more comfortable interacting with others, and some of us are shy. Sometimes, some of us are here to read because it's a place to get away from the stress of real life, and it's a solitary act and the last thing we want is to interact with someone else. All of these situations are valid and there's nothing wrong with that. I myself was a lurker reader for years because I was very shy about online interactions (I grew up with my mom warning me of stranger danger and telling me everyone online is a scam artist trying to catfish me 😆).

For these reasons, feel free to interact with my work/me in whatever way makes you feel most comfortable? I just hope you have a good time when you're here.

[faithdeans]

stupid question maybe but is there like a certain qualification needed to be mutuals? Like so far i just decided to count myself as one of ur mutuals cuz idk the rules and i see your posts a lot and like them and stuff yk. I noticed there are a couple of ppl who communicate a lot on here like you and some others who u also see on my dash a lot and like a lot and i can't tell if y'all are like irl besties or so or like if i'm low key intruding a bit or so. Sorry for the question, i have whacky social skills, it's like when at school i can't tell if the ppl i hang out with during lunch break actually like me at all of if they just accept me existing next to them - also i'm figuring out social thingies of tumblr as i go and i'm feeling a bit unhinged rn so i thought i'd finally just ask one of y'all cuz i'm not 100% sure abt how exactly stuff works and what the social rules are if there are any

hi! it's not stupid!

i think the thing is, i've known some of my mutuals a really really long time, and have even met some in real life, so that probably reflects in the way we talk. i also try not to follow minors so i'm mindful of that and when i don't know a blogs age bc i'm a full grown adult. i don't mind anyone who follows me joining in on my posts that say "mutuals" it's become more of a shorthand for "you guys" tbh. also i'm pretty bad at seeing people in my notes bc i have a couple of popular posts that tend to clog up my activity feed.

[blkkizzat]

Hiii babes <33 I'm back with another long message bc i cant shut up so buckle up ig hsjsjs

Not the hand in the panties reading the Naoya fics LMAOOO bc deadass me on this blog soooo…. When i say i had 2 minutes until my morning alarm while i was reading plug!choso and i turned that shit off and went back to reading like, the all nighter was worth it!! It's the weekend so im deadass trying to re-read it again and take it in properly now that im not sleep deprived hehe

FRRRR the nicki quote like deadass im tryna be someone villain origin story LMFAO. Nahhh because it's always the cheating fics or virgin reader fics that are phD level written and i can Not read those personally lmaoooo. I got too much fire in my chart to deal with that bullshittery 😭

No bc why do i kinda love unredeemable reader??? Like yes girl be on ur thot shit AND get the man !!! It's fiction!!! Pop out!!! Istg every time i think of that scene in plug!choso where she humiliates him and its deadass 'everyones watching her but shes looking at you' Like choso is soooooo down bad and MY GOD HDJDKSK like he didnt care what anyone thought he just wanted a lil luvin from herrrr, istg when i read that i was instantly transported into the story and like in chosos pov and i felt everyone laughing around me and staring and pointing, in my lil emo get up while everyone else is in their polos and mini skirts and just like lookin at reader with so much yearning and expectation like bih I FELT THAT!!!! My head gets so cloudy when i think of that scene tbh like i feel like it actually happened to me!! Ngl i think its bc i was sleep deprived so i was already on some loopy shit and i was still thinking about it up until the point i took a nap so i feel like i dreamed i was in the story??? Like i went to sleep w it on my mind and then it played out like a movie 😫 plug!choso indeed bc that fic feel like a HIT

Big yes on gojo being an introverted extrovert. I feel like if he's not careful it can ruin his self esteem too where he doesn't let himself properly be happy or have the things he wants yk?? Like deadass carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder and its more self inflicted than anything. Like NO he doesnt want to swim in pussy, he wants someone to go home to who will make him sweets and give him lap pillows and play with his cheeks and remind him to wash his face before bed!!! Stg im out here tryin to beat the fuckboy gojo allegations by printing out otaku!gojo on printer paper and dropping it off door to door so everyone can read the TRUTH 😔. Im campaigning that ishh

Okay but the bonnet x anime shirt fit is such a vibe too?? That's what u wearing when toji bring home the hitman salary and is like "go get dolled up kali we goin out to eat tonight, n wear them lil black gloves i like" 😚 i can get behind the kalji (??) agenda lmfao. Tbh toji was the jjk character i seen when he first came out bc my shithead ex was a japanese otaku boy but like actually an incel jsjsjsk ANY.WHO! yeahhh i like my 2d men to be virgins bc im on the 'first, last, best pussy u ever had agenda' shrugs they dont call me cherry nonie for nothing!! But toji hot as fuck like id def smash at least once to say i did before hopping over to shiu hehe. But deadass i always do so well with the playboys and the jerks bc i got that 'angel until you give her a reason to bite' genetic. Wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove 😙 but men stay tryin me so the serpent do be takin over sometimes lmfaoooo

Nooo pls its so much fun talking to u like im sorry for clogging up ur dash and this obnoxious ass long ask lmfao!!! I'm prob gonna send another ask so you can reply to that one without my long ass paragraph on ya blog bc u the main star baby 🥰🥰🥰

Hope u enjoy ur weekend!!!! Im all tucked up in bed and bursting at the seams bc plug choso here i come!!!! Again!!!!

🍒 anonnn

🍒 my pookies! Sorry for the delay im just starting to feel like a normal person rn lol. 

Omfg tysm tho, ahhh not you losing sleep 💗😭. Im really tryna make p3 good for y’all so I really do hope y’all will like it lol. I gotta get it over to be beta read soon cause I have two endings and im not sure which one to keep lol, they aren’t different its just where im choosing to end it that is lol.

LOL omfg no fr. Like im a cancer but baybay my mars is in Aries so I don’t take no shit and definitely not from none of these men out here (especially too cause my Venus is in gemini so im already going to be bored of a man lol. Im not gonna sit around and be cheated on lolol). Also omg you into horoscopes too? I love my natal readings they are so accurate imo.

Yeah! Idk I wasn’t event trying to necessarily  make reader irredeemable but I do like making characters with flaws. Not that I don’t enjoy a good fairytale type perfect damsel reader fic (because those give the warm and fuzzies) but I also love the idea that no matter how big a bitch/meanie/etc you are that whatever person you are really supposed to be with will end up seeing past that and inspiring you to bring out the best in you. Like reader in plug choso a people pleaser and dating choso even on the dl was probably the first thing she’s done for herself that wasn’t part of a “plan” to live up to others expectations. Ahh not you dreaming about it, im so jealous (legit never dream about the stuff I write I want to so bad haha). But I’m so ecstatic that it really did connect with people. LOL I remember saying when I made this blog I wouldn’t write angst but I also think I was thinking of angst where the reader gets screwed over.  I really enjoyed putting Choso through hell (lmfao I mean he’s just so babygirl I need to be a lil mean to him, love to see those tears 😫).

LMFAO! Not you spreading the gospel of otaku!gojo. Haha but I feel you. Even as a confident adult who would come off playboy he’s still a big dork underneath that. Which reminds me I have a CEO!Gojo/guest!professor Gojo fic with MBA!Reader. He comes off as a charismatic playboy but he a dork lol. 

“N wear them lil black gloves I like” AHHH I SCREAMMMED. Im wearing the gloves and NOTHING else we aint making it out the house!!! We can just fuck on top of the money lmfao. But I love a gown. I buy all my gowns from this site called ‘miss circle’ and the more casual ones from ‘mistress rocks’. Yasss tho it’s kalji! 

LOL I do like some virgins like otaku!gojo and my lil chosito but I like that Toji a hoe cause im definitely going to be talking to him crazy as hell. “Bring me that dick big daddy slut.”

No it’s okay!! I like talking with you you’re funny haha so drop by anytime!

LOL im in bed too hungover but im feeling better so imma start on plug choso p3, send me good vibes!!! You have a good weekend too!! 💕💕

[waloeders]

i have a bunch of fun tibids relating to that fic (so spoilers below for my own fic i guess??? and also ff16 spoilers LMAO) but i dont wanna clog dash so. readmore my beloved<3

this turned into an info dump abt so many things. enjoy?

- ok so fun fact #1: the use of Lord vs lord throughout is directly relating to how much barnabas' belief in ultima as a god/the god is wavering

- similarly, the use of mythos vs logos. in another fic set before this one that ive yet to post 🙈, clive (aka mythos, aka logos) makes a point to barnabas abt being logos not mythos, which ultima affirms. despite this, barnabas is still clinging to clive being mythos bc if hes logos, all the scripture n beliefs he has are wrong

- barnabas often mimics ultimas phrasings and sayings, even in game, including the use of Eikon names rather than the persons yaknow. actual name. e.g. shiva vs jill. kosmos vs ryder. mythos/logos vs clive etc etc

- barnabas n sleipnir have a. weird semi-spiritual bond. this is mostly hc'd from me bc we never see it super directly or stated in game/story? its implied that a dominant can sense when their egi is killed but not really expanded upon. where benedikta (garudas dominant) can sense her egi n refers to them as 'sisters', her egi arent nearly as human or as, well, sentient/alive as sleipnir is.

- im also taking the stance of sleipnir being originally an extension of barnabas (+odin) that he made to protect himself from his grief/loneliness. but over the ~50yrs theyve been alive + together, hes grown into his own being and does have traits/personality that barny didnt give him/doesnt have himself. hes very much his own person but cant die (permanently) unless barnabas does. he can also duplicate himself, change some parts of his appearance and still has this bond with barnabas that allows them to vaguely sense where the other is, what theyre doing and better interpret what the other wants/means

- im takin it to be theyve been in the worlds longest qpr while never actually really admitting it to each other. this is both good and bad for them (mostly bad for the world, they enable each other)

- fun fact!! canonically sleipnir and ultima never interact in game. sleipnir only ever interacts with some ppl from kanver at the start, hugo (titan), benedikta (garuda), barnabas ofc and clive. dude is not getting out and about nearly enough. but interestingly as an egi, he can be (physically) very far from where barnabas is! its also kind of implied that he can prime into his horse form without needing barnabas as odin?

- this fic does have the least amount of kosmos introspective. wack. hes just going through the motions, okay? its not like hes been kidnapped n threatened by a god-like being before. their ass is not thinking 💀💀

- ultima uses this weird combo of we/us but when on the defensive, it speaks of i/me. im assuming this is relating to ultima being multiple beings of ultima-species merged into one hivemind-like being? and this idea/notion of being part of this larger whole but when afraid, feeling alone and like one being again. i also tend to use it over he for it partly bc i impart kosmos' perspective a lil n he views ultima that way and partly bc there was like 4 different he/him users there. guys. pls. invite some women to ur fights its not very feminism of u

- barnabas's mother is never named in anything. she doesnt even have voice lines when ultima turns into her in the game, despite it being able to mimic benedikta and hugo (also dead)??? like she is the epitome of fridged i feel so bad for her. but context is she is killed when barny is 18 for worshipping ultima n thats what causes him to prime as odin for the first time and create sleipnir (as an egi/person)

- but barny is the first dominant of odin literally ever so its like. sleipnir is part of odin (the eikon) and in my mind first shows up/is created as a guy when barnabas unprimes that first time. and theyve just stuck together ever since

- speaking of. sleipnir does worship ultima too, but largely bc barnabas does. they share a lot of beliefs abt ultima + mankind (esp. since its been them two for again, like 50yrs) but he draws the line at ultima hurting barnabas, hes sleipnir's #1 priority over anything or anyone else

- sleipnir literally has one line to kosmos in this and hes bullying them i 💀💀😭😭 it made me laugh so much i was like 100% he would watch and just throw in the occasional comment, the only reason he didnt comment in game when clive fights that thing outside hugos palace is bc he didnt want clive to know he was there i KNOW im right

- final sleipnir tibit is actually that in canon we never see if he has a semi-primed form? its assumed not since hes an egi, not a dominant but i decided that his armoured look is his semi-prime since thats true of barnabas + we dont see sleipnir change into his armour. its true to me

- ultima actually slips that kosmos is kin (as in also an ultima) in this but somehow none of the gang notice! com'on guys 😭

- the golden aether!!!!! aether is always blue in canon and i wanted it so that when kosmos uses aether/magick a) it to look cool b) for kosmos (the ultima being) to look distinct from ultima (hivemind)

- technically speaking. ultima is a non corporeal being, it doesn't have a physical body buuut since zantetsuken "severs" some shit in ur atoms, it works

- it is kosmos that teleports them away, not barnabas! prior to this, clive absorbed odin and altho ive not mentioned it yet, kosmos n logos have a weird connection - the more eikons clive absorbs, the stronger kosmos gets (as he is also getting the eikons). in a similar way to mythos og needing to absorb eikons so that ultima can possess clive long enough to cast the spell for the new world w/o dying, kosmos (the ultima) needs the eikons to both get strong (theyre like half dead prior to this) and to awaken (which is what happens in this fic). so yeah, he is the one using odins rift slip, not barny! :3

theres a bunch more stuff abt kosmos i wanna talk abt but also. i wanna write it out in fic form bc theres so much that happens its a slap

i have like at least 3 shitposts i wanna make regarding the fic too that are basically like.

---

barny: i would never betray you, my lord!

kosmos, glowing gold less than 5mins later: hi

barny: ....fuck.

---

sleipnir: can we sick this guy PLEASE can we please sick this guy can we have a fight can we have a figh- {etc}

---

clive: we got back as soon as we could jill, which way did they go??

kosmos n barnabas: *reappear in the hideaway after having the most traumatic, life-altering, religion-breaking moments of their lives*

cid: found them! :3 <- guy abt to get the hide n seek championship award

[pennylanewrites]

“ did you just forget about me or something? ” and reiner pls i feel like crying today

i was JUST thinking about reiner (anon requested in a diff ask that the reader is female!) also i got a bit carried away, this is longer than it should have been :’)

(tagging these under keep reading bc i don’t want to clog the dash)

you were clutching onto the cream-coloured, gold-foiled, now tear-stained invitation like your life depended on it. his name written in pretty cursive letters, and underneath it, her name. her pretty, long hair came to your mind, the way she laughed at reiner’s jokes, how she hung her arm around him when you went out. oh, how many fights you and reiner had gone through about her. your best friend. and now there they are, not even a whole year after you and reiner called your engagement off, getting married in the forest you and her talked about since you first met.

reiner was staying in his old family home the night before the wedding. the bride would arrive next morning, it was bad luck for them to see each other before the ceremony. porco planned a reunion, said that reiner didn’t want a bachelor party. you’re coming, aren’t you? porco asked. and how could you refuse?

you knew it was selfish and low to think you could change reiner’s mind the night before what would be the biggest day of his life. but it was supposed to be with you. you were supposed to walk down the aisle into his arms, your name was supposed to be the one written in golden cursive letters, right under his own.

“we can leave if you’re not okay.” armin squeezed your hand, stopping at the front door momentarily.

“i’m fine.” you reassured your friend and pressed on the doorbell, patting your dress down before the door opened.

“armin and ___ are here!” eren was the one to open the door, bringing his arms around the both of you and leaving a kiss on your hairline, a silent ‘you got this’. stepping in the living room, all eyes fell on you, old friends saying their hi’s, getting up to greet you. makes sense. you hadn’t seen any of them since you and reiner broke up. standing between annie and bertholdt was the blond object of your affection and all of your pain, making your heart drop to your knees.

“___, good to see you.”

“i think niccolo needs help in the kitchen.” annie muttered and bertholdt followed her, patting your shoulder before leaving.

“congratulations on your engagement, rei.” the nickname slipped from your mouth easily, making him blush, but still smile as he offered you a glass of red wine.

“thank you. i wanted to let you know, but-”

“you don’t have to explain. it’s all fine.” you shook your hand with a polite smile. “how is she?”

“she’s fine.”

“my favourite cousin is here!” you felt a head poke at your stomach and two arms, too strong for their age, hold you tight.

“gabi, be careful!” reiner scolded his young cousin as you squatted down to be at the same height with her.

“what are you doing, you devil?”

“did you say hi to my aunt? oh, did you see jean’s ugly haircut? you have to try niccolo’s-”

“one at a time, gabi! and you’re right, jean’s haircut is horrendous.”

“horrendous?” she tilted her head.

“it means completely ugly.”

“reiner, you’re horrendous!” the girl exclaimed and ran off, making everyone around burst in laughter. you straightened your back and stood up, feeling your cheeks heat up. reiner was staring at you with the same loving look he had whenever you were around children. he would admire you and then kiss your forehead, whispering something about what a great mother you would make. this time, however, there was no comment, just a sad smile as you returned to a conversation about work.

as the party came to an end, you were cleaning the kitchen up, thinking karina would need the help. tomorrow would be too hectic for her to care about dishes.

“you would think a guest wouldn’t be washing dishes after the party.” her kind voice made you turn around. wiping your hands at a towel, you gave her a smile.

“sorry. i just thought you would be too busy tomorrow to clean up.”

“i would rather be in this kitchen tomorrow than that wedding.”

“don’t be like that, karina. your son is happy.”

“he was happy when he was with you. that vixen...” karina trailed off with a sad laugh. “i know this isn’t my place to say, and reiner would be angry at me, but he regrets hurting you. he knows he made a mistake.”

“thank you for that, but i doubt it. he looks happy with her.” you held her hands in yours, tears running down your cheeks freely, as well as her own. you hugged karina tight, her motherly embrace bringing more tears to your eyes.

“i hope he finds love, karina.” you whispered.

“i hope you find each other again, my sweetheart.”

“mum? are you okay?” reiner’s voice coming from the porch door startled you. you turned away from him to wipe your tears.

“i’m fine, reiner. i’ll go to bed, why don’t you two get a drink?” she kissed her son’s cheek and left, leaving behind a tension that could be cut with a knife.

“tequila?” he held up a half-empty bottle of your favorite, obvious in his face that he was the one that had drunk the rest of it.

“sure.”

the porch was quiet, a faint music still heard from the radio in the living room. you had taken your heels off, reiner had unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, and you were both staring at nothing in silence.

“so...”

“so...” you chuckled at the awkwardness, moving your feet back and forth from your seat at the bench. “are you feeling okay about tomorrow, reiner?”

“not really.”

“it’s normal to be nervous, i suppose. i’m sure everything will be fine once you see her.”

“what if i just left? took my car and disappeared, never saw her again?”

“would you be happy then?” such a simple question, yet reiner didn’t have an answer. tears made his eyes burn, and so did the strong scent of the drink in his hand.

“i guess we’ll never know.” he shrugged. “are you okay? after everything i mean.”

“are you asking to be polite or do you want the honest truth?”

“the truth, please.” the words came out of his mouth as a whisper. his eyes were burning from the tears and the strong scent of the alcohol in his glass, it was only a matter of time until you both burst out crying.

“i’m far from okay. i guess i just can’t come to terms with it.” you took a moment to stabilize your breath, “i just saw you so happy with her, all those posts on your socials, everything you did was rubbed in my face and i couldn’t help but wonder...” you turned to him, not bothering to wipe the tears that stained your cheeks “did you just forget about me or something?”

a trembling hand met your cheek, a calloused thumb wiping your tears away and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“i’m so sorry, i’m sorry. i’ve never once stopped regretting it, but i thought you wouldn’t even want to see me.” now reiner was crying too and it was your turn to wipe his tears away as he leaned dangerously close to you.

“please don’t kiss me.” you whispered and got up, patting your dress down. “i’ll see you tomorrow, reiner. i hope you have a great life.”

the crowd at the wedding was suddenly too quiet for reiner’s liking.

“...take reiner braun as your husband? do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?”

“i do.”

reiner was lost in thought again, until he felt bertholdt nudge him from behind.

“...to love her and to honor her all the days of your life?” reiner stared at the priest, then down at his soon to be wife dressed in white. turning to the crowd, people started to whisper at his hesitation, but his eyes only searched for you. you were frozen solid in your seat, lips pursed shut and tears wetting your cheeks again, but your chest was rising up and down, heart beating fast with anticipation. what were you expecting really? for him to say no and leave the wedding? with you?

“reiner, darling?” the bride smiled nervously.

“do you, reiner braun?” the priest repeated.

“i...don’t.” he said loud and clear, eyes watching you bring your hands to your mouth to hide your gasp. his mom squeezed your arm with a smile, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy.

as much as you loved reiner, you knew what it felt like to be left like that, to be heartbroken and confused. oh how you wished you could be happy as reiner mumbled an apology and the bride’s mother ran to her, how you wished you could smile when reiner walked down the steps and extended a hand for you to take. how easy it must have been for him and how hard for you.

[shrunkupthejams]

hello tumblr, good timezone! a little life update (which was written at 2am? and gets very rambly and long but *shrugs* i tried to break up the walls of text a bit):

1. did i disappear? yes. will i elaborate on that? not really, i don't feel like it. but i will say that once you take a break from social media it is really hard to go back. it's very freeing, and that made me worried about how tumblr would take over the little free time i have if i came back. also hyperfixations are a lot harder to not hyperfixate on when i frequently spend time on here. overall, idk how long i was gone for, but it was a very good, much needed break that was probably great for my brain.

2. idk if i'm back back yet. we shall see. again productivity is doing much better without any tumblr in my system, as much as i do love spending time here.

3. i have read some very inspiring fics lately and am having many writing thoughts! which is great bc i really fell into a slump that i haven't been able to get out of this year like... back in may, or whatever. unfortunately, i have no time between catching up on missing school work from being sick, my job, and fucking moving. so.

4. not very tumblr relevant, but oh my god im fucking moving. again. story of my life basically. it's. fine. just happened really fast and it's weird to process. im officially in moving limbo for the next two weeks. and that sucks. but it's ultimately good for my system, i think, because i was getting restless waiting for the usual regularly scheduled "big change" in my life, and that quota is now being filled and it's relieving.

5. dear lord i don't even want to look in my notifications.. if anyone tagged me in stuff while i was out... im so sorry but it's likely lost in the pile. avoiding my problems on social media is like my specialty, and my notes is currently one of those problems.

6. (if you see me unfollow a bunch of stranger things blogs (hello, i know some of those are mutuals), im sorry but i clogged my dash with st blogs so bad and i cannot afford slipping into that hyperfixation rn. i can't do that to myself. it's not personal or anything. so um. don't mind me haha.. i should really consider the state of my dash before i follow... but alas, i do not. one of the main reasons i typically avoid the hellscape that is instagram! oh and tbh, i knew it was time to come back to this hellsite when i started casually wasting like. an actual amount of time on instagram semi-regularly. that's when yk it's time to go like fuck i do not want to be in a place where i am wasting time on instagram of all places. wasting time on tumblr is at least tasteful. sorry artists of instagram ily but i simply cannot.)

7. ahaha watch me avoid my sideblogs after this (not that's incredibly relevant). i can only involve myself in social media so much rn...

8. more irl news: after, at least of 2022 and then some of saying i need therapy, i'm finally getting therapy! first appointment booked for this wednesday babey :) thank GOD. definitely needed this after discovering that apparently you can have grandfather issues, as if my current parental issues weren't enough.

9. another irrelevant irl update: i got my license! fucking finally! idk if i ever complained about that on here but YEAH. it feels like so much has changed since i was last active on tumblr..

10. as a final bit of news, since this got fucking long im so sorry, im trying out the name kurtis now. seeing how that fits :)

and um yeah that's how my life is going rn. ill try not to go off in the tags about anything, considering the length of this post. sure makes that relatively new dashboard post shortening feature come in handy tho! haha..

[mrkis]

I think mark is naturally shy, but years of being in the industry, working on stage and media training just forced him to suppress it. Like everyone always says he’s not socially awkward, just awkwardly social. But MBTI don’t lie and the man’s an I not an E.

Anyways, I know for SURE he was not just:

a) shaking

b) crying

c) throwing up

But actually d) doing all of the above the very first time he saw a naked girl for the first time. The neo’s always say he’s the least romantic and that he’s got the least game, but leave him alone. IT’S NOT HIS FAULT. It’s in there somewhere. I just KNOW that he wants to be a flirt so bad, to be able to charm girls and just be suave. But he’s just…

Shy 😔

Oh well, I’m sure he still fucks like a monster.

-lis

reply is under tags bc this post will be too long and clog up the dash

i was really confused on where this ask was going fjsd BUT i 100% feel like mark knows what he's doing and what he wants. this guy does flirt and he has game. people either don't realise it or think its a joke!!! (having intense flashbacks to that fan call) i also think hes very romantic in his own ways too!! i'm surprised that some neos don't see it :o

with mark seeing a girl naked for the first time... i feel like he would be very flustered and shy for the first few minutes because its all very new and real (this guy watches porn, we all know it. everyone does idc what you say) but then he's just. in it. yk? he gets down to business and he will fuck. i fully believe he would need some teaching in certain areas BUT this guy.. he knows how to please a woman i feel. he knows how to use his mouth and he knows how to use his hips. his fingers? maybe thats where he'll need some teaching but he'll get the hang of it straight away. he'll know what to do :D

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[kbetacygni]

take two

(i don’t think i can include gifs anymore. maybe that’s what broke my post. and yet the gifs were so important. i’m crying real tears of sterek) 

(i also don’t think i can do a “keep reading” thing bc maybe that’s also what broke my post, so i’m sorry for clogging up everyone’s dash) 

WELCOME TO A CRASH COURSE ON STEREK 

dear @mimsyaf​ and anyone else who wants to hear me ramble about teen wolf: let me introduce you to stiles stilinski, derek hale, and conspicuously absent scott mccall who i will actually not be introducing you to. 

“The baby” is Mieczyslaw “Stiles” Stilinski, who is not the “teen wolf” because he is human. He’s the “research guy” in every supernatural-crime-drama show. He’s hyperactive-awkward, goofy-anxious (he acts as the show’s comedy relief), witty and extremely stubborn, and drinks I Love My Friends juice every morning. He lives with his dad, the Sheriff (his mom passed away when he was a kid and it was just. horrible and he still deals with it), and he sometimes has panic attacks. He also drinks I Love My Dad juice every morning, and likewise his dad drinks I Love My Son juice. In Season 3 part 2 he gets possessed by a demon trickster fox spirit and goes on a murder rampage all while making dark sex eyes at everything, which is hot very terrifying and bad and genuinely pretty traumatic for stiles, too, so i’m sorry. (shoutout to dylan o’brien’s acting skills, teen wolf is so bad sometimes (all the time) but his work really shines through. buddy’s gonna get an oscar some day). In Season 1 and 2 he has a buzzcut which is probably where you’re getting the baby feelings. 

“The brooding dark one who is clearly a werewolf and also not a teen” is Derek Hale who, as you guessed, is a werewolf but is also not the “teen wolf” because he’s. he’s just not. (Canonically his age is… very mixed because he was supposed to be three years older than Stiles in the pilot, and then somewhere down the line they racked up his age so it’s just confusing.) He’s very angsty/incredibly traumatized with a heart of gold. (The trauma thing happens pre-show and it’s… astronomically bad. won’t go into all the details but when he was a teen he got (really inappropriately horribly) manipulated by a werewolf hunter who then burned most of his family alive. and this is only one of the two traumatic events in his life). Anyways. He’s also not a police officer [see footnote 1], he’s in fact been arrested for accused murder and serial-killing and murdery things, despite the fact that Derek Hale Has Never Done Anything Wrong Ever and Stiles Stilinski will Die Defending That Truth. At one point he became an Alpha werewolf after killing his uncle, Peter Hale, who was an alpha who got his power by murdering his niece, Derek’s sister Laura Hale, who inherited her alpha power from their mother Talia Hale who was super badass and regal and it sucks that we only see her through one flashback some random dude. (also peter is resurrected and now serves as annoying villain / sassy comic relief / reluctant supporter to the pack). Alphas have Beta werewolves, which make up a pack. In canon Derek was kind of a shitty alpha to his betas, but to be fair, Derek was never taught how to be an alpha before his family died, and he’s literally like. 22 or something maybe. A lot of fanfics center around Derek healing and forming a supportive and strong pack (especially Stiles showing Derek that it’s okay to trust people and care about people because they care about you too). He has an awesome fidget spinner back tattoo.

And finally, assuming that the werewolf teenage cast member from the Crucible and the brooding policeman some guy of Eastern European descent are Stiles and Derek… Yes. They do bang [see footnotes 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6] among other things like deep declarations of love and companionship and the promise that they’ll take care of each other (god i wish this were true).

(mimsy if you can believe this, there were so many important gifs in my original essay. and now they are lost in time. like... tears... in rain.) 

(anyways i feel the urge to expand on all my thoughts of sterek and why they fit together so well but that’s legitimately going to take a thousand words so I’ll just say. They’re good together. Sun and moon.) 

(also i… actually don’t know what the werewolf lifespan is, because there’s one werewolf that shows up in a WW2 flashback and is still pretty much the same in the present day. but your reverend hale thing is giving me ideas.) 

Extra note: Beacon Hills Police Department unfortunately does not allow babies on the police force but they do allow Stiles to basically do whatever the hell he wants re: Charlie Kelly conspiracy boards because remember, Stiles’ dad is the sheriff! (and also later in the show Stiles joins the FBI so he’s. there) 

————— 

[1] despite what the “Deputy Derek Hale” Ao3 tag may lead you to believe. 

[2] they don’t. i’m sorry i lied. canonically they don’t. 

[3] but as veterans of a certain karate show with a certain two people who do certain things, we can… see. 

[4] in all honesty sterek was... massively queerbaited, like during so many cons and events the actors and the producer were like ��maybe sterek will happen in the tv show, idk, we’ll see [wink wink].” promo material for new seasons sometimes overemphasized sterek scenes to increase engagement. many actors on the show (including, i think, both actors for stiles and derek?) said that they supported sterek. and there was literally a video where stiles and derek’s actors CUDDLED on a boat and said things like “we’re on a ship pun intended”… but anyways all of this shows the gorilla grip that sterek had on the entire show, even though it wasn’t canon. and regardless of canonity, in my opinion stiles and derek had the best character flavor-development-dynamic of the entire show. 

[5] i hope you are astounded by the fact that on ao3 sterek ranks among the top three ships (with johnlock and destiel ahead). 

[6] in my sterekposting heart and in all the sterek fics i’ve read. they are so ridiculously in love that it hurts. they live and they heal and hold each other and where one goes the other follows and also derek sneaks into stiles’ bedroom through the window that’s just the free space bingo square for every sterek fic

[ri-ahhh]

Can we have some sexy time with gray that stars out rough but ends up soft and cute🥺

I’m gonna make it a continuation of this concept bc low key it’s one of my faves and yk.. why not.

Also I was gonna try to finish this on my laptop so I could put the keep reading break so I don’t clog ppls dashes but tumblr never fucking works on there and I couldn’t do it :/ sorry

A/N: hi hello just finished writing this and it turned out to be garbage but I wanted to post something for the ppl asking. If you are one of those ppl I’m sorry for this haha truly it was just the best I could do for now.

***

For the first half of the ride home, Grayson’s hand doesn’t leave your thigh. You can feel the tension still brewing in him in the way his calloused fingers grip the soft, bare skin; in the heavy sighs he releases every few minutes and the sudden revs of the engine as he speeds down the highway.

His lingering frustrations at the situation that happened in the mall make you smile softly, and you interlace your fingers with the ones stroking your thigh. Eyes big and sympathetic, you bring the back of his hand to your lips. “Baby, relax,” your murmur against his skin quietly. “It’s okay. I’m fine.”

Grayson shakes his head and glances at you as he pulls your joined hands into his lap. “I fuckin hate guys like that. Can’t believe he put his hands on you.”

“He touched you?” Ethan piped up from the backseat, voice incredulous. “Oh, fuck that. If that has been K...”

The short remainder of the car ride was filled with the twins loud, enthusiastic rants about douchebag chauvinistic men who have no respect for women. It warms your heart, makes your chest fill with pride at the thought of how good your man really is. You squeeze his hand and stroke his arm gently, dragging your nails up and down the veins popping out from the stress and anger he’s both somehow releasing, but also still carrying.

The three of you make it home, and Ethan is immediately hopping out of the car with his shopping bags, eager to see his girlfriend and show her what he had bought her while she had been out with friends. Grayson’s jaw is clenched as the two of you follow his brother inside, and you make your way immediately to his room; you think you know exactly what he needs to get rid of that last bit of well-intended machismo energy he’s got in him.

Sure enough, Grayson shuts the door behind him with a little more force than he really intended, tosses all the shopping bags he had carried in for you to the ground, and wraps those strong arms around your waist in all of two seconds of the door being locked. You giggle and let him hoist you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and cupping his stubbled cheeks in your hands gently to bring your lips together.

He walks the two of you to his bed and lays you down as gently as he can while you’re still clinging to him, mouths never separating as he captures your lips over and over again in hot, relentless kisses. When your back hits the mattress, you moan softly and hitch your leg higher up his side, his hand sliding to your ass and grabbing a handful of it through your shorts.

“I need you,” he says gruffly between kisses, panting heavily. He squeezes your cheek again, and uses his grip to haul your hips closer to his while simultaneously lowering some of his weight onto you. You can feel the hard ridge of him against your center, and it makes you gasp. “Can I, please?”

“Yeah, baby,” you agree easily, almost as desperate for Grayson now as he is for you. He’s sexy and kind and good and you love him, and you imagine the scenario of some girl running her hands on those thick arms you love so much, or the swell of his abs over his shirt, and you realize the healthy possessiveness very much runs both ways. Your blood runs hot, and you slip your hands under his shirt to feel the rippling planes of his back. “Want you so bad.”

He growls, deep and primal, and you bite your lip as he sits up and whips his shirt over his head by the collar. It gets tossed blindly to the corner of his room, and you’re instantly reaching out to run your hands over all those muscles covered by soft, tan skin.

Grayson sighs and lets you indulge for a few moments, his lips quirking up at the corners for a quick second and ruining that sexy scowl as he watches you admire him.

“Fuck,” he mumbles. His big, warm hands cup your hips, and he shuffles down some as he slides your oversized shirt up so your stomach becomes exposed for him — supple skin that’s just begging to be kissed.

So he does. His lips are soft and a little wet from the kisses you had shared just a minute ago, but they’re hot and insistent as he makes his way up your torso. Goosebumps flare in their wake, and you shudder beneath his smirk. Grayson pushes your shirt up further, just beneath your bra now, fingers shifting grips from the dips of your waist to the ridges of your rib cage now.

You don’t need words to know what he wants, so you lift your arms overhead the second he bunches the shirt up past your tits. His tongue drags over your sternum once it’s thrown across the room, then he’s swiping it over the buds of your nipples peaking through the sheer mesh of your bra.

Your back arches up into him with a gasp, fingers delving into his thick hair as he grunts and tugs the cups of your bra aside to free your tits for him. Your nipples tighten even more, damp from his tongue and now completely exposed to the cool air of his room — not to mention, the way he’s looking at you right now has every nerve ending in your body excited.

His pretty hazel irises, usually so soft and comforting, are consumed now by the dark of his pupils, despite the warm sunlight shining through the window. Those smoldering eyes stay locked on yours as he ducks his head to suck your left nipple into his hot, wet mouth, his hand kneading your other breast roughly.

“Love your tits,” he huffs against you after a minute of making you writhe beneath him. His tongue trails to the center of your chest, and he nuzzles your cleavage, breathing in the sweet smell of your skin. His stubble scratches against the plush, delicate flesh there, but it’s a mere second before he’s switching breasts to give each the opposite treatment.

You lose his eyes when he shuts them to really absorbe the touch and taste of you, but you don’t mind when he smells so good and feels so familiar and uses those lips and tongue and fingers so fucking good. You whimper and clutch him even closer to you than he already is, perfectly content to have him suck at your tits for as long as he pleases. The feel of him big and heavy and warm on top of you is as relaxing as it is arousing, being so consumed by the sensations of him up top while his erection fits snugly against your pussy.

“Grayson,” you whisper desperately. He looks up at you, and you’re taken by the softness behind the desire in his gaze. He follows the tug on his hair you give to drag him up for a kiss, and you both sigh happily into one another’s mouths when they reconnect. It goes without saying that you could kiss this man forever.

You tighten your legs around his waist and and urge him to rock his hips into yours. Grayson obliges readily, a quiet grunt escaping his lips as he starts grinding into you. His hand returns to your ass, holding you against him for the perfect leverage while he sucks on your tongue and tries to find the right angle to put just the right pressure on your clit.

It’s like any moment of softness and slowness gives him time to remember what got the two of you here this afternoon in the first place, and the ravenous energy from before picks right back up. You’re definitely not complaining by the ebb and flow of everything; it only heightens your own desperation for him, to know he cares so much and wants you to the point of making you cum just from some heavy dry humping.

As if he can read your mind (or maybe you his), Grayson pulls away from the kiss and drags his free hand up your thigh, squeezes your waist, and punches your nipple on his way to grip your cheeks gently but firmly in those strong, calloused fingers. He makes sure you’re looking him dead in the eye again when he tells you in a deep, rumbly voice, “Wanna make you cum in these fucking shorts. Can you cum for me, baby?”

You nod as best you can in his grasp, shifting your head enough to slip his pointer finger into your mouth. You watch him watch you suck it, his hips pressing harder into yours as the pleasure and overall arousal turns up for both of you. His cheeks are flushed and his chain dangles between you, glinting in the sun and reflecting bright spots on the tan skin of his pecs.

A moan escapes you, vibrating around his finger before you add the middle one for a few moments, too. You let him push them down your tongue until the tips touch the back of your throat, and you pull them out with a slight gag and a seductive smile.

“Make me cum,” you murmur hotly, guiding his hand between your bodies and slipping it past your waistband — leaving the shorts with that little logo on the leg on, just as he requested. “I’m so close already, Gray. Please.”

Grayson moans himself and shifts his weight so you’re flat on your back and he’s hovering over you with a hand planted next to your pillow. He touches your pussy for the first time this whole afternoon just as you arch your back to reach beneath you and unhook your bra.

You fling the useless garment across the room and grab immediately onto his forearm by your head, the other clutching the sheets in attempts to ground yourself from the sudden surge in pleasure emanating from your clit. Grayson circles it a couple of times before sliding one, then two, fingers to the hilt.

“Jesus, you’re so fucking wet, baby,” he groans. You can only nod and moan, then cry out his name when he curls his fingers just right and finds your spot, like he knew right where to look and wanted to waste no time getting to it. He latches onto your neck, sucking a bruise into your pulse point while he builds that wave inside you. His fingers don’t pump in and out, but stay hooked on that spot that’s making you moan and whine, using his wrist to vary the pressure on it until you’re absolutely losing it, exploding on his hand with broken whimpers of his name.

You’re still high in the sky when he sucks his fingers in his mouth with an appreciative moan and tugs off your shorts finally, then his own, before crawling back on top of you. Naked together and still riding the lingering aftermath of that orgasm, you hum contentedly and accept the hot, desperate kiss he pulls you into.

“Wanna fuck you. Need to fuck you,” he mumbles against your lips, already reaching between you to rub the tip of his dick up and down your soaking wet folds. Even though you’re still sensitive and satisfied, almost nothing can bring you back to a stare of pure arousal like when he teases your hole like that — so close but not enough. It awakens this primal, incessant feeling of absolutely needing to be filled up, and you can’t wait anymore.

You thread your fingers through the back of his hair and arch your hips to encourage him to slip inside, which he finally does with a guttural groan.

“Fuckin give it to me, Gray,” you say once he has a steady rhythm built up. It’s not enough for either of you today, though, and you both know it. You need closer, hotter, harder, more.

Grayson looks wild, his hair sticking up in all directions from your wandering hands, eyes dark but bright, a thin sheen of sweat illuminating ever ridge and valley of muscles on his torso. He doesn’t give you much more time to look, however, as he hooks your knees over his elbows and leans down over your body.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and he tucks his face against your own as he starts pounding, his balls slapping against you ass with every hard thrust. The angle is catching you just right and the sharp, pleasurable pain of his teeth sinking into your collarbone only brings everything to a new level. His quiet but audible grunts and moans float right to your ear, the best sounds in the world as he delivers exactly what you asked for.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whine, digging your nails into the sinews of his back. Grayson keeps driving into you with renewed purpose, absolutely set on getting you there again with nothing more than his cock.

“Yes, baby, please,” he begs, groaning loudly when he feels you start to clamp down on him. “That’s it... all over my dick... pussy feels so goddamn good.”

You should be sleepy and beyond satisfied at this point, but his heated words make you want to absolutely ravage him. With that, there’s the glow only a couple of amazing orgasms from the man you love can make you feel that fills your chest. So when you’re able to voluntarily move your limbs again, you push back on his chest so he has to stop sucking sweet little kisses into the collumn of your neck. He looks at you a little confused, but you just smile gently and keep putting pressure against him until he ends up on his back.

You settle between his tattooed legs and admire the way his dick lies flat against that solid tummy of his, glistening with your juices. Your mouth waters at the sight, and you take him in your hand to guide his throbbing length between your kiss-swollen lips.

You suck your cum off his skin, humming in satisfaction while you watch him lay back with one hand behind his head and the other petting your hair gently.

“Love your dick,” you say before sucking the leaking tip into your mouth. “Only want yours, baby. Just made me cum so hard...” you trail off with a wanton moan, then get to work sucking him off for real. His eyes fall shut and his fingers work deeper into the loose strands of your hair for a firmer grip. You roll his balls in your palm, pulling out all the tricks you know he loves to get him there as well as he did for you. “Mine.”

He guides you deeper with the hand on your head, never pushing more than he know you’re willing to take; he loves the tangible feeling of that sweet mouth sucking him off, taking him as far down your throat as you can. You make it sloppy for him, letting all the drool and saliva coat his shaft until it’s dripping down his balls. You lift off him with a gasp and massage the slick into his skin before ducking down and sucking them one at a time into your mouth for a tongue bath while you jerk his dick off above you.

You can hear the hitch in his breath, see the short heaves of his chest when you follow the pressure he pulls on your hair in silent request to get you to suck him again. All signs point to him being about to bust, but you want more than his cum in your mouth.

You hurry to mount him, smiling when you catch his look of surprise. He moans as you sink down on him, and you pick up his hands to interlace your fingers for intimacy and leverage.

“Cum inside me,” you tell him, bouncing on him so your tits jiggle for him.

Grayson watches as long as he can, holding out until his eyes roll back and his fingers dig into the backs of your hands as he fills you up with deep, drawn-out moans. You grin in satisfaction, happily obliging him when he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you down so your chests are flush together.

You hum as he comes down and pepper kisses across his jaw, his nose, his closed eyes. Any bit of that handsome face you love so much that you can reach with your lips gets a sweet peck. Grayson sighs and lets you keep going until he’s gripping your hips and lifting you off his softening cock.

“Sorry if I got too caveman,” he mumbles tiredly after a few moments. “I just love you.”

You shake your head and bury your grin into his neck. “No need to apologize. Actually, I can’t wait to go back to that store with you. I still want those leggings.”

“Fuck off.”

[oh-katsuki]

Tw fatphobia

i'm sending my question lol hi! i'm nervous sending this lol IDK why

so i'm chubby, i haven't always been chubby but i am now, and i like being chubby, i'm really happy with where i am now with my body, but i grew up surrounded by asian family and friends living in an east asian country, i'm not going to delve deep into the details, but it was kind of just ingrained in my mind when i was young that fat = bad as everyone in society there is fatphobic (and it's not overlooked, bc it's just for lack of a better word, normal) especially the boys and it's just a greatly esteemed standard of country-wide beauty. so that, including the laws set in place to prevent people from becoming plus size and young adults calling the body positivity movement "embarrassing", it was just ingrained in my brain without choice, but that changed when i left and moved countries, i let myself gain weight for myself because i liked it! and i'm literally obsessed with myself now lol

anyways, when i visit asia, i guess my old thoughts come back kind of, so my question/biggest obstacle as a big person is that i still have trouble being able to belive i can be fat while still being healthy, both my parents and uncle is both doctors, and i just want to communicate that people CAN be fat and healthy, i just don't know how, i'm chubby and perfectly healthy, but i know there are people bigger than me and i just don't know how to let not only them, but other friends know that it can be possible

sorry if this was a odd question, you're the only person i feel kind of safe asking. have a great day cal ❤ (also can i become an emoji anon?)

hi!! thanks for sending it <3, i'm really happy that you felt safe enough to ask me, that makes me really glad. I'm gonna put my answer below a cut to avoid clogging the dash!

edit: AHH yes of course you can become an emoji anon!! pick one, dearest <3

so, i'd like to start out by saying that i'm sorry that you had to deal with that type of environment surrounding body types. that's really hard. i'd also like to say that im really proud of you and happy for you that you're happy with yourself. that is so so important and you deserve that happiness.

now, internalized fatphobia is a really hard thing to deal with because it's something that you have to do mostly on your own, and that can be really hard when you're dealing with social influences that tell you otherwise. it's just about remembering that no matter what your weight / body looks like, you are deserving of love.

but i also want to say that you do not have to be healthy in order to be happy with yourself as a fat person. health is not the pinnacle of value, nor does it have any effect on that. the idea that "fat = unhealthy" is actually a campaign that was created by diet companies in the 1960s in order to push their products. there are actually a lot of studies that talk about this push and the idea of "low-fat diets".

this isn't to say that there aren't complications, but as far as weight goes, it's important to me that you (and everyone) know that you have value regardless of health and regardless of what your body looks like. since that campaign by diet companies (and especially with the rise of the body positivity movement), "health" has become a leading argument to excuse fatphobia. it pushes the narrative that health = value, which is not true at all.

health is important, but this idea that someone's health determines the level of respect they get as a fat person is really harmful, especially within the disabled community because there are people for whom "health" by societal standards is unattainable. it pushes the narrative that it's what we should be striving for, when the reality is that we should be open, loving, and accepting of everyone, regardless of weight, body, or health circumstances.

it's actually incredibly harmful to excuse fatphobia / weight under the premise of health for this exact reason. it excludes so many people from a movement meant for everyone and sets a standard for "acceptable fatness" in society which is bullshit in it's entirety.

now, i'm not sure how to answer your question to the fullest, but i can tell you that your value is not reliant on your health or your weight. it is an intrinsic part of you and no matter what you look like or experience, that will never go away. focus on loving yourself regardless of that fact. focus on healing and on repairing that mental trauma you suffered from where you grew up, but don't base your worth on health, base your worth on you. It's a part of you, regardless of anything, you have value to yourself and the people around you that cannot be taken away.

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

[ibroughtyoumybullets]

I was wondering if you could post all the results? If not thats cool I just like reading all the other results too esp if they seem written well

sure! pasting them under a cut bc i feel like im clogging peoples dashes today

gerard-coded gerard-girl

ok gerard kinnie. hows that martyr complex working out for you? im sure youre a lot of fun but have you considered listening instead of talking at least every ONCE in a while? sexy tho.

gerard-coded mikey-girl

this is an interesting one. arguably you share this with gerard himself. you can take a little weight off your shoulders and allow yourself to just like ... chill, you know? and i mean chill - not hide away from the world or spend time with people while staring into the distance and never interacting. youre super funny and interesting, and once you start talking about something you care about, youre impossible to shut up - but everybody is so endeared by your passion that nobody wants you to be quiet anyhow.

gerard-coded ray-girl

JESUS CHRIST youre a hard worker. a little bit off your rocker, which you know and are a little bit unnerved by - but you have drive. not only do you have drive, you have the tools to make it happen. i promise. everything you find yourself coveting in other people is inside you. you just gotta let it shine through.

gerard-coded frank-girl

(lol you got frera[GUNSHOT]) anyhow. youre a FORCE of nature. you have a vision and youre gonna make it happen - whether its through careful planning or just through luck and dedication. youre funny, charming as hell whether you know it or not, and an absolute sweetheart. maybe stop worrying about divine timing and the microscopic details of life and go live instead. its okay. you can.

mikey-coded mikey-girl

lmao okay mikey kinnie. im begging you to express an opinion that is solely your own ONCE. you seem like you would be fun to hang out with at a party, even if its just so i can talk your ear off while we smoke outside. maybe eat a vegetable.

mikey-coded gerard-girl

rguably this is the result mikey would get. you like to lay low, just outside of the spotlight. but the spotlight belongs to you too. seriously, it does. you dont have to wait for somebody to give you the opportunity you want - whether its because youre scared to take it for yourself, or know it would be easier. go and get it. its waiting. people love you because you are whip smart and kind as fuck, but you dont take an prisoners.

mikey-coded ray-girl

stop people watching and pay attention to me, first of all. you dont need to have a carefully formulated plan of action to move through this world - you can just move through it. its waiting for you to move through it. whatever it is youre biding your time about - stop it and start moving. i dont care if its not perfect yet, and i dont care that you want it to be perfect. nothing is perfect. just dive in, its good for you. youre too clever for your own good, and love people fiercely.

mikey-coded frank-girl

we should be friends. youre like the puppy dog frat-dude whos the only person in sigma-gamma-apple-pi who is actually nice and good to spend time with. you got a lot going on under the surface that you dont always choose to share with other people - especially not people who you dont consider close friends or family. but that well of emotion and thought has to go somewhere. youre earnest, clever, and protective of your inner circle, and you love with your whole heart.

ray-coded ray-girl

lmao ray kinnie. unclench. please. just take a deep breath and stop trying to control the very fabric of reality. and give yourself a fucking BREAK. you are, however, a sweetheart and definitely have a super pleasant and grounding energy.

ray-coded gerard-girl

tell me youre scared to express yourself without telling me youre scared to express yourself. you think youre not good enough to do what it is you want to do so youre waiting for somebody else to do it for you, or for it to fall in your lap. stop it. you are capable of doing any and everything that you want. everybody is rooting for you, because you are a delight to be around. naturally, i mean. whatever face you feel like you gotta put on for people is unnecessary. who you are at your core is lovely and loveable in its purest form. stop hiding.

ray-coded mikey-girl

youre kind of an enigma. you know that though, its on purpose. but the mask isnt necessary. go be your fucking self and take what you want. its all within your grasp. your cool exterior is trying to hide a big, big heart - and honestly, its not doing a great job. everybody can see how much passion you have, how much you want the things you want, and thats not a bad thing. go kick ass.

ray-coded frank-girl

you wanna hang out? youre the last resort parent-friend. like sure, you'll step up to the plate and make sure everybody is doing good and taking care of themselves when the actual parent-friend needs a break, but most of the time you wanna go buck wild with everybody else. and you should let yourself. youre enamoured with people who live with their heart on their sleeve, and dont try to make sure everything is perfect and beyond critique. unclench and let yourself live a little. you deserve it.

frank-coded frank-girl

lmao frank kinnie. bro take it from one frank-coded frank-girl to another ... its not that deep, and WE'RE not that deep. you arent like. inherently evil or somebody who breaks everything they touch or whatever. feel your emotions like a normal person and then move on. you are however SUPER fun to be around and always down to clown, and you care a lot, and the people around you know and appreciate that.

frank-coded gerard-girl

(lol you got frera[GUNSHOT]) anyhow. whats it like being the sexiest bitch in the room and always knowing it? you are so smart, so talented, and everybody you come across thinks youre bees motherfucking knees. dont get all bashful on me. its true. but you gotta stop expecting the worst, and trying to plan around it. the world isnt holding a knife to your back, waiting to strike. it wants the best for you. take a deep breath and go get what you want. you are MORE than capable of it.

frank-coded mikey-girl

you try to keep everything moving smoothly, but you know when you have to intervene. you are so so loving, smart, and talented (YES, YOU ARE TALENTED - ACCEPT IT) even if you wish you could keep your emotions a little more underwraps. thats not necessary. you have a big old heart and you gotta accept that. stop wishing for shit and go get it. its there for you.

frank-coded ray-girl

breathe. right now. five seconds in, hold for four, out for seven. okay good. now listen: YOURE GOOD ENOUGH FOR WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT TO DO. you got all these feelings that you try to channel solely into work, and im telling you that sometimes you can just let them be, or better yet, express them with your words to another person and then move on. you want to be the best version of yourself - but you already are. life isnt a game you gotta keep leveling up in. youre smart as fuck, talented as fuck, and a big big softie. own that.

im SO sorry if this doesnt cut correctly this is so long

[skelelephant]

You should talk about jared hopworth more 👀👀👀 we would like to hear your thoughts about him

Hey anon, I saw your ask when you sent it four days ago and was immediately paralyzed by the enormity of my feelings for this meat man but now I am HERE I am READY I have an entire fucking essay

*slams a whole stack of notes onto the table*

Alright folks it’s infodumping time (speaking of which thank u so much for this opportunity I am eternally in your debt)

I’m putting the bulk of this under the cut bc it ended up being long and I don’t want to clog people’s dashes with my Boneturner analysis hehehfhfhs

So I’ve spent a LOT of time thinking about Jared’s story bc I connected with his character in a way that I was,,, wholly unprepared for, but here we are.

I think what I love most about his whole arc is that the transformation from “regular guy” into “horrible, Bad To Look At meat monstrosity” happens at the exact same time as his transformation from “high school bully who never grew up” to “chill gardener who just wants to tend to his plants.”

Jared’s story begins as a story about having a lot of expectations put on you because of the way you are and sort of growing into those expectations because that’s all you ever hear.

I think what rlly endeared me to him was when he commented to Jon how his dad loved how he towered over people, even when he was really young. As someone who’s also been considerably taller than most of her peers and even a good number of the adults in her life since she was young, I could empathize with the experience of being touted around and shown off bc you’re more than what you should be at that age. It leaves awkwardly large shoes to fill from a person that doesn’t exist outside of people’s perception of you, but you still find yourself struggling to fill them all the same. (Maybe that’s me projecting a little but I think it makes sense with Jared given how we know he ends up.)

And so with Jared, I think the positive emphasis on his physical appearance contrasted with intellectual and emotional pursuits being negative, (Sebastian did say he’d always been “thick as mud”,) I think the fact that he put the most stock in his physical abilities and based his self-worth around being bigger and stronger than everyone around him was really a self-fulfilling prophecy in terms of how he turned out.

Which brings us to his supernatural elements. Jared basing his entire self-worth around his physical strength and the power he could lord over others made him an ideal candidate for the Flesh. He gained a power that allowed him to take from others and make himself stronger for it, basically amplifying his already aggressive and destructive tendencies.

But underneath the obvious benefits, the Boneturner’s Tale gave Jared a way forward.

When Jon takes Jared’s statement in the Spiral’s corridors, Jared talks about trying to look ahead and see some sort of future for himself, but everything that had sustained him up until that point had stopped, and he was faced with the unpleasant reality that he had nowhere to go. His one actual friend had gone off to university without him and had moved on with his life, but Jared was still stuck.

The Boneturner’s Tale solved that problem for him and gave him a purpose, (thought he ended up being mostly self-serving.) Jared himself even admits that he doesn’t know what would’ve happened to him if he hadn’t gotten the book from Sebastian.

And then, after a life of meat crimes and bone stealing, we find Jared Hopworth in a garden.

And I cannot fucking TELL YOU how much I’ve thought about the significance of Jared’s domain being a garden.

Throughout his life, both pre and post-Flesh avatar, Jared’s used destruction and intimidation to preserve his self worth. He “wrecked” his high school, he only had one friendship ever that wasn’t built entirely off of fear (and he killed Seb himself,) and he only ever used his Boneturning abilities to hurt and kill those around him. (Even the people in the gym ended up being intimidated by Jared, so you can’t really count them as friends.)

But his domain isn’t the meat processing plant we see later on, or the endless butcher shop, or even a bigger version of the gym— it’s the Mortal Garden.

A place where Jared is actively nurturing the plants under his care. (I use those words loosely, of course, we all know what it was.) That in itself demonstrates how Jared’s intentions have shifted.

And the characterization in his interaction with Jon and Martin also goes to show just how much Jared’s changed over the course of his time as the Boneturner. Jared knows Jon’s going to kill him, and at first it seems as though he’s going to resort back to his old ways and fight Jon using brute force.

But then Martin asks him to stop.

Martin, who by all accounts is exactly the kind of person who Jared would’ve looked down on before as someone weaker than himself.

Martin, who is entirely smaller than Jared’s monstrous body and just does not measure up in the skewed point of view that Jared used to look at the world from.

(For the record, I don’t think Martin’s weak. I think he’s a very kickass man and I love him sm. This is just me looking at him through Jared POV so it’s a little toxic oops—)

But the point of that scene is that Jared does stop. And while he probably holds no respect for Martin, he does listen to him in the end.

And I just keep thinking about how pre-Boneturner Jared wouldn’t have backed down from that fight. His pride and his self-worth being attached to being the biggest and the strongest wouldn’t have allowed him to accept that he was outmatched. If Jared truly kept the same mindset he had at the beginning of his story he would’ve died trying to kill Jon and Martin before Jon got him, and he would’ve lost.

But instead he asks to hear about his garden, and before he dies his last thoughts are of what will happen to it after he’s gone.

Hshdhfhdhsha so that’s it!! Cheers to you if you actually read this whole thing bc honestly there’s probably very few people who actually care enough about Jared Hopworth to read a whole character analysis about him. Honestly I’m just happy to have an excuse to talk about him bc I love this horrible meaty man so so much and if he’s only remembered by that one comment about Martin being Jon’s boyfriend I will perish

[mrkis]

a twlg ask from 🦄anon below the cut!! i had to put it in a separate post bc it was long and i didn't want to clog anyones dash with this!! my response to you is below too!!

So this would be quite a long one and I apologize in advance for the novel I'm going to write. 😅😅

Firstly, I would like to thank you for the update, I almost died when I saw that you will be updating and splitting part 6 into 2 parts. Mind you, I was on the train as I was travelling back home from visiting some friends a few towns over. I was basically about to cry but I was in public and my best friend was with me so I had to wait a couple of hours until I got home and was ready to indulge myself with twlg.

Seeing the events through Jaemin's point of few is so interesting, kinda frustrating but it also makes so much sense. I know and understand that what happened with him and that hag Eunbin took a toll on his mind quite badly. Like we have heard in the previous chapters he was basically obsessed with her so it makes so much sense that he was seeing her stupid face everywhere and I can feel his frustration over it cause he wants her gone from his mind. Its pretty obvious that she hurt so bad he never wants to have anything to do with her, his thoughts on that are pretty clear, but im curious as hell for the next part where we see him with her and how he was feeling during all of it and why he did not push her completely away. I wonder what was going on in his head.

Now, I cant really understand why he would lie to mc that no one was watching them in the hallway when people infact did, but then again I dont think he fully understands himself and why he is doing stuff with her the way that he is and how he feels. That jealously toward Mr. Moon? It was an interesting process to witness.

I knew he was jealous of Yang, but oh man he KNOWS Yang has a thing for mc, its quite obvious and I wonder when will those two erupt in regards to their own feelings toward her.

Jeno asking him if he ever thought of more than fwb and the way Jaemin reacted makes me believe he has, but as the last 2 paragraphs said he is scared of going through another heartbreak and I think this is very much intefering with the way he sees the situation. He is trying too hard to not get his heart involved and broken, but I think he is already too far gone, he is just being in a huge denial as its easier to call mc a distraction. Why else would he panick about them being exclusive? She is his fuck buddy, why should it matter if people know? He wanted them to because he couldnt keep his hands to himself anyway. But I also think he is trying to proof that Eunbin is no longer in his life both to himself and that bitch Mia.

Personally, I feel like its slowly going to down on him how much of a couple he and mc are and how things changed quite quickly, the moment his mind catches up to his heart is the moment he would break, Im just afraid that this will happen once mc lets go of him, cause it will bother him. The way you have pointed out that the way he feels around her is different and something he never felt before with anyone else, how its basically "head empty just her" type of thing. To me that its not something you feel with your fuck buddy, this is a deep emotion and connection. And that last part where it says he doesnt want to fall in love, like honey we dont control that shit it just happens. We dont chose who to love. Just because he doesnt want to involve himself in those type of feels to keep his own heart safe doesnt mean he wont get involved. He brushes all those jealousy feelings aside cause it bothers him to admit what he feels. And its normal, its scary to think of falling back in love when it can be 10 times more intense and it begins as such complicated relationship. I do not trust him when he claims she is just a distraction. He appreciates her. That polaroid moment was adorable and the way he put that picture up so early on? fucking adorable.

I wanted to see that moment after the party when he wakes up and stares at Jeno, I wonder what that was. I also cant wait for the "I appreciate you scene" from his point of view and the spit in her mouth one. I crave to see what he was thinking cause to me it feels like those may be major turning points.

I have so much more to say but this is getting too long so Im just gonna wrap it up. 😅 Again, thank you Cass for the update and I can not wait for the next update. I am so invested in twlg its unhealthy atp😅

-🦄

[ mrkis response ] : omg please don't apologise for sending long types of asks, i seriously enjoy them so much! i'm so unbelievably thankful <3

i'm so happy you found jaemin's pov interesting!! it's been so fun writing it so far and i can't wait to get the next part done to see your reactions. jaemin has definitely built up so many walls and taken on this cold/quiet/mysterious persona because of past events, he really doesn't want anyone to know what he's feeling and he doesn't really want to indulge in any sort of conversation with anyone, so it has been fun writing in his head and showing everyone want type of person he truly is and what his thought process was/is throughout his friends with benefits situation with mc.

him reacting to eunbin coming back is going to be so intense... i asked for opinions in the discord where i should the scene i wrote abt jaemin seeing eunbin for the first time and the response i got is making me so excited. i really can't wait to see what you guys think either.

regarding the "nobody is watching us" when they were, jaemin only lied because he hated seeing mc so uncomfortable and wary. he lied to make her feel better... although, lying abt it wasn't exactly the best thing to do lmao. he had good intentions!! it just didn't come off that way unfortunately :(

with jaemin and yangyang, i can't really say much as this will be spoken abt in six(pt.2) but although jaemin knows yangyang has a thing for mc, in the back of his head, jaemin thinks yangyang only wants mc for one thing and one thing only. remember... yangyang is a fuckboy in this. they know him. i'll leave you with that :p

mc and jaemin have a deep connection, whether they'll admit it or not. mc, i believe, has fully realised their situation and their deep connection which is why she confessed abt liking him in part five... but with jaemin, jaemin is different. so it's going to be interesting to figure out where exactly he wants to stand with mc and if he wants anything more (which so fair, he's admitted to not wanting anything or not wanting to think abt it)

the scene with him staring at jeno after the party i left otu because it wasn't that interesting fkhjs;lk it was just him staring at jeno because he remembered the kiss from the night before LMAO. but the 'i appreciate you scene'... thats gonna be a favourite for sure

tysm for reading and giving me your thoughts and opinions!!! it means the most <3