#i fear it’s confirmed officially in my brain now

[mysterious-dark-shadow]

I sometimes re-read posts from "The Before Times": from before the Sewage Flood of '22, before we discovered the Slow Methane Leak that had been gassing the house for YEARS, before Felix was officially diagnosed with HOLE IN THE BRAIN.

This specific post was during a time when we were desperately trying to figure out why things were getting better in some ways and so much worse in others. Felix especially was dealing with mental and physical issues that should have gotten better after he quit his super stressful job.

The information we have now doesn't invalidate the conclusions Felix came to in the original post: his hormones were all over the place & his diet needed changing. And responding to those issues helped eliminate some symptoms that were specifically related to those problems. The changes helped him have a clearer head a year later when I ended up going crazy* from methane overexposure.

The fact that we had been working with doctors for several years actually helped us out a lot when it came to Felix's migraines. When we finally got to a neurologist, he could see that we weren't chasing painkillers. He ordered the MRI for Felix's head that we had been trying to get for soo long. And fought insurance to give us the prescription that actually made a difference in the severity of the migraines Felix suffers from.

And today we have a much better handle on our physical and mental health. We learned how to talk to each other about what's going on in our heads. We learned so much about how to help each other physically. We know what it looks like when one/both of us are suffering from methane exposure, and how to get the gas out of our living environment, so we can actually unpack boxes of stuff that we haven't touched since early 2022.

We are literally getting our past back. There are art projects that Felix was in the middle of that were boxed up alongside the reference books that were sitting on the same table. Trinkets and keepsakes that were on the shelves of bookcases and cabinets from our adventures, separately & together, are finding new spaces in our apartment. Our dried boutonnieres from our wedding day were briefly on display and then quickly put in a cabinet because our cats are rose-eating monsters.

Sometimes I wish I could reach back in time to 2020-2021 us, but I don't know what I'd say. What we went through in 2022 was horrific. We are still picking up the pieces. What kind of warning could prepare past-us for what was to come?

And then I remember a strange encounter we had early in 2021. We were in the beginning stages of our channeling experiments. I was the channeler for a specific entity that had previously given us advice that had turned out to be prophetic, so Felix at some point asked them, "What is the most important thing we should know for our future?" The entity made a painful grimace that made my face ache for a few hours afterwards, then said, "Keep going. No matter what happens, just... Keep. Going." They refused to elaborate, and Felix dismissed the entity soon afterwards. We were puzzled by the cryptic nature of the message and the swirling mass of negative emotions - anguish, fear, anger, regret - that my body felt at the moment the entity grimaced. But we followed the advice, reminding each other that we should "keep going" when times were difficult and situations seemed impossible to overcome.

I now realize that I don't have to reach back in time to warn anyone. Someone else already did. And now I pass on that advice to you in hopes that it helps you as it has helped us so many times:

Keep going. No matter what happens, just... Keep. Going. _____________

*I'm not using that phrase lightly. I completely lost touch with reality and ended up in a hospital psych ward for 12 hours. The hospital didn't handle me well (symptoms hand-waved as "THC overdose" with no tests confirming that diagnosis...), but the event did shock me back into reconnecting with reality again.

Having Mental Illness

It’s hard to talk about my experience with mental illness sometimes because I’m not diagnosed by a professional for “everything I have.” For instance, in my household we all know that I have depression and anxiety, but it’s not really nailed down on my medical chart whether I have Generalized Anxiety or Major Depression. I’ve talked to my doctor about my anxiety, my “moods” as it is usually termed in the doctor’s office, and had my spouse at my side during the discussions, and been prescribed Zoloft for my symptoms even, and the takeaway has been:

My doctor doesn’t want to diagnose me with a mental illness, because no one wants to figure out what the insurance will do. Or what the protocols for it are. Or what the exact diagnosis should be. My therapist had further insight there: finding someone who can make the right diagnosis for me is one thing. But there could be several different diagnoses for what I could have, depending on what treatment plan they wanted to bill for, or what my insurance covers, WHICH CAN CHANGE.

And all this time, we’re just trying to live this and figure out how to do right by me and the body and brain I have.

It’s why I keep thinking I need to explain myself here. There’s no catch-all term for whatever it is that I have. There’s a lot of medical interactions between my hormones, my mood, my sleep cycle, and my information processing ability. Sometimes at 2AM I decide it’s time to read a paranormal encyclopedia, and that’s just because my body is not going to be good at doing anything else at that time, because that’s what the chemicals in my body say to do.

So, I mentioned my hormones–one reason I’ve been quiet is because I don’t want people to think that transitioning will cause you harm or that transitioning people are “crazy.” But I’ve had some severe mental health effects from my hormones being way off-balance at times, and I’m finally able to talk about it. One reason I’m able to talk about it again? I’m finally GETTING my hormones.

Last year when I switched to topical rub-on testosterone instead of intramuscular injection, it was because I was unable to do the shots anymore. My needle fears ramped up and I had to switch over. Well, turns out the absorption was never working right for me because I was getting allergy injections in the same area as I was rubbing the cream on, and apparently the testosterone got into my bloodstream instead of the lymph system, and made my levels seem incorrect? Gods it was nuts. Anyway my insurance cancelled rub-on hormones on January 1 with no warning anyway, so it’s a good thing I was planning to switch to subcutaneous injection. Which I did yesterday after being without my rub-on hormones for 3 days.

My body feels like a submarine that goes up to get air and down to dive below at times completely dependent on my hormone levels and nothing else, and my hormone levels basically all last year were bonkers. It destroyed my sense of time right as I and everyone else were all locked in our homes. My stress has ramped with the news cycles, making me unable to sleep some nights until my body finally exits hypervigilance.

There’s not a cure for this, or any single diagnosis, or a treatment other than to take care of myself and keep going.

I’ll keep going.

I want to open up more about my mental illness experience, and what it does and how I get through it, but I’m going to warn you that my mental illness doesn’t follow the discourse. It fucks the discourse. I’m a person who has decided to stop driving because I don’t like how I might react to the unexpected behind the wheel, and I still vote, I make big financial decisions, heck I make winning investment picks. Sometimes I can’t walk out my front door, and it’s not for any logical reason, and I even know logically with my brain at the time that nothing bad will happen if I go outside. Still, sometimes I can’t walk out my front door, and in those times I realize that I don’t actually have to. Because last year we as a household realized that I could no longer do the things I’d done all the previous years before, that something in my mind and body had drawn a line and said I couldn’t go ignore those boundaries anymore.

I can’t watch TV like a “normal person.” Ads really mess with me and so I often avoid commercial television, for instance. But I also have trouble sitting down and absorbing something on a screen, I’ll often have to walk around, or I’ll need to watch the show out of order, or see it “filtered” through commentary or memes, because that’s how my brain decided I was processing that day. But the conversation I have with my spouse about the subject at the end of the day is still rich and fulfilling, because I’m still having an experience of the subject, be it a show or a video game or a news event. I just take it in in a very particular way, and sometimes that way changes depending on my mood and a bunch of other factors.

Heck, my diet changes how much I can focus and think. We’re still figuring out what does what. There’s a lot of rabbit holes to chase down. At some point we discuss what’s worth putting up with versus what actually needs treatment, because when things aren’t very clear-cut you need to prioritize. Also, having a lot of different medical issues at once means that you sometimes get overwhelmed and don’t know what order to address it all in.

I communicate in GIF and youtube format on here sometimes because I don’t really have a way to articulate the feeling or thought I have other than to show something that seems to encompass it all in an abstract or more psyche-oriented way. I really enjoy being able to do that here, and to get out the things I really want to express in an environment where people let me experiment with communication. Thanks to all of you for that. Except the bots. You’re not sentient, and that’s kind of weird.

Oh yeah. Mental illness and its interaction with hormones. Are completely ruining my ability to plan things and have been for like half a year now. So thank. For your pati. Ence.

[cosmictap]

Eating ice cream at midnight instead of coping with the realisation that you truly cannot fall in love with people are therefore will always be missing something that everyone else has

[alargehunkofdebris]

Aziraphale’s reaction to the kiss: A Breakdown (that’s it that’s the reaction.)

A lot of people say that this anguish Aziraphale feels after the kiss is due to this feeling of “Why now? Why didn’t you do this before, when I wanted you to?” And I think that can be part of it, for sure. But man, that’s just one part of this gigantic, writhing ball of emotions in Aziraphale in that moment, all of them fighting each other, all of them painful. I’m going to breakdown the breakdown, because writing essays analyzing the minds of fictional characters is apparently all I want to do these days. Also, judging by this absolute nutball of a season that confirmed literally multiple “bit of a stretch” deep dives, I feel I can ignore that little voice whispering “this is silly” into my ear. I can dive as deep as I want, because there goes Neil Gaiman with an aqualung, swimming deeper.  

So. The kiss, and why Aziraphale looks so gosh darned sad about it. 

First of all, there’s shock. Major shock. Because despite everything, he still likely never thought this would ever actually happen. (Him and me both.) Or maybe – a small maybe, but a maybe that I might put a dollar on, if the odds were good – the idea of kissing Crowley never occurred to his conscious brain before at all. He’s so good at compartmentalizing and denying that it’s very possible he’s managed to nip every intrusive thought before it went far enough to be fully conscious.

Then, there’s fear of being seen. (“Who is watching? Will the Metatron see? He only allowed me to work with Crowley after he regained angelic status – if he sees me and Crowley now –”) Then, a layer deeper, there’s his ever-present fear response to things going too fast, because despite how we all know he feels, he’s still not sure he’s ready for any kind of partnership, let alone one this intimate and close. Because even for humans, this is a really, really big jump – we typically don’t kiss when we haven’t even been on a date (officially) yet, and usually not before both parties admit to their feelings.

Then, even deeper, is that anguished, heartbroken “Why now? My God, why now?” response, because his subconscious has always wanted this, but also knows that this is the worst possible time for it to happen, and now he’s lost that first kiss with Crowley—the one he wanted, anyway. The one that was supposed to be filled with joy, and is instead marked with the worst pain he’s ever felt.

Then there’s the second “Why now” response, and this is where I might be dipping a toe into the Hot Take puddle. Because I think there’s that knee-jerk fear response he’s yet to shake, and which overtakes his rational thinking whenever he’s terrified of Heaven or unsure of himself. It’s the suspicion he’s always held of Crowley. He’s thinking “Why now?” as in, “Is this the temptation that God and Heaven warned me about? Is this Crowley the Serpent, fulfilling his duty? Is this the true proffered apple, a kiss that’s meant to keep me from serving Heaven? Is he tempting me, knowing how I feel, knowing I’m weak?”

That’s the true anguish of this scene, I think. He’s fighting all these feelings, but on top is this old fear, this old anger and suspicion of Crowley, assuming he’s lying. Demons lie, Crowley admitted it himself. Crowley is the original Serpent of Eden, designed to tempt people away from God. And this feeling is what’s on top, because the alternative is…what? That Crowley actually feels this way? That Crowley, a demon, loves him, Aziraphale, enough to be this vulnerable, with no wicked ulterior motive? Aziraphale is a lot of things, but he’s certainly not a being who thinks he’s desirable. He sees himself as opposite to Crowley, and if Crowley is temptation personified, Aziraphale is then the personification of undesirableness. Deep down, this idea of the Serpent of Eden being tempted by him, Aziraphale, is simply ludicrous.

And then there’s self-hatred that he even thinks this thought of his friend, then suspicion, then fear again, then confusion, then anguish, then fear, then pain, and so on. All of this happens in a few seconds, and all of it coalesces into a singular takeaway: “This is the worst.” And because the one who technically caused it is Crowley, Aziraphale does what he does very well: he forgives Crowley, because he’s too prim and angelic to say “Goddamn you,” which is what he truly means. Goddamn you for making me feel this way. Goddamn you for making me doubt you. Goddamn you for forcing this option on me, when I can no longer take it, and when I don’t even know if it’s real. Goddamn you for putting this apple in my hands when we both know I can’t eat it. Goddamn you for reminding me that no matter what, it is not in my stars to live a happy life. 

[darkscrossfire]

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 Part two

Pairing: Obsessive!James Valdez x reader

Warnings: Death, possibly graphic mentions of death, betrayal, hints to blackmail.

Notes: I have so much determination to complete this fic. The support so far has been awesome. I’ve finally finished exams so i’m going to try my best to update as often as I can! :D

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“We’re gathered here to honor the life that was Fernando Hernandez, a son, a father and a grandfather to those who loved him dearly. On this day of mourning, we recognize all that he has accomplished in the life that was taken away from him as not by order of God.”

Everyone around me seemed to be weeping as we all sat in the pews of the church, the pastor stood at the front with a bible in his grasp. Usually I would be sitting with tears streaming down my face, yet my skin remained dry. I couldn’t muster a single teardrop even though my body felt like it was soiling from deep within me.

James’ figure was sat next to mine, his knee occasionally brushing against mine. I had no energy to move, my eyes planted on the back of one of my distant cousins heads. I paid no attention to the pastor, my head empty as I found myself in a statuesque state. My lack of tears was likely strange, but everyone else was too focused on their own pain to notice.

I could feel James’ gaze turn to the side of my face. His expression was stoic, his job to ensure that no cartel related activities took place at the funeral. I knew that nothing would happen, but uttering that thought would make me incredibly suspicious, so instead I decided to keep quiet. My silence ensured that James stayed by my side, a supporting presence I desperately needed.

My hands were limply folded in my lap. If I could move, I would have been picking at the skin around my fingers. That action alone would have alerted James that something else was going on, that there was a secondary worry plaguing my brain. The pastors words fell as incoherent mumbles to my ears.

James eyes scanned my face for a moment, his eyebrows softly furrowing in a sympathetic action. It was not often that he showed such a soft emotion in public, not wanting to appear weak in front of anyone. Enemies were everywhere, eyes planted in the places you least expect.

My cold hand was suddenly enveloped in warmth. This sensation broke my frozen state and allowed me to glance down at the source, James’ hand interlacing with mine.

I stared down at our hands for a moment, his larger one keeping a comforting hold on mine. His gaze followed mine down to our hands. The sight sent a strange tingle through my chest, the first spark of positivity I had felt since the fire. James was good at bringing fear into those he aimed for, but he was also good at conjuring calm and peace. Every panic attack that he has soothed over the years confirmed that.

I met his gaze, his expression not changing and remaining almost blank. His eyebrows lightly furrowed, the movement so barely noticeable that if I hadn’t been face to face with him like this, it would have been overlooked. He gently squeezed my hand, and I couldn’t help but squeeze it back in return.

He slowly leaned forward, my figure stilling as his breath tickled my ear. He whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He slowly pulled away, my gaze still intently on his. On the surface, his words meant that everything would be alright and that I would heal from my grandfathers passing, yet something was evident beneath. The intensity in his gaze spoke other words. Almost as if he knew.

He couldn’t have. No one knew. If they did, I would be dead right now. If James knew then others would have known, there was a slim chance that only James knew. Information like that doesn’t stay in one person, it gets around quickly, faster than you can process.

He pulled his gaze away from me, staring forward again towards the funeral officiant, his gaze now hard once more and the softness that he given me faded away. His hand did not leave mine, still keeping a hold and every now and then delivering a soft squeeze. The feel of thumb drawing soft circles against the back of my hand brought my heart to a steady beat.

I glanced to my side, feeling eyes on me and immediately caught gazes with my mother who seemed to already be staring at me, her figure sat in the pew next to mine with my aunt at her side. My aunt Ana’s posture was hunched as she softly sobbed into her hand, her eyes pressed shut. My heart felt like it was tearing apart at the sight.

I directed my attention back to my mother. Her expression was soft, a light smile covering her features as if trying to comfort me. Yet the tears adorning her eyes and the sadness threatening to burst through at any moment told me that she herself was trying not to break.

I returned the soft smile and for the first time, warm tears spilt down my cheeks. They were not tears of loss but rather tears of guilt. My mother was staring right at the person responsible for this tragedy and she had no idea. A part of me contemplated whether I should just admit what I had done, allow my mother to receive the justice she desperately wanted.

My mother softly patted the spot next to her invitingly. My eyebrows softly furrowed and I glanced down at James and I’s hands as I was left with a choice. James’ eyes met mine once more and he gave a soft almost smile.

“Go sit with your mother.” He whispered, giving my hand one last comforting squeeze.

I hesitantly pulled my hand from his grasp, quietly moving from our pew and over onto the one my mother and aunt were at at. I slid in next to my mother, her arm immediately wrapping around my shoulder and allowing me to fit snugly next to her.

My hand still felt the warmth of James’. I found myself longing for it, as if the action of his holding mine was the most comfort I had received since all the tragedy happened. Even in the embrace of my mother, I felt cold. My entire body felt rigid once more and I felt myself in a constant state of inner discomfort for what I had done.

I looked back over at James but found that his attention was no longer on me. I found myself disappointed, wishing that I could have found that familiar comfort in his gaze once more. I forced myself to look back over at the funeral officiate, his words finally no longer falling into incoherent mumbles.

“Before we end in prayer, Miguel Hernandez, loving brother of Fernando, would like to say a few words of appreciation.” The funeral officiate spoke, moving away from the podium to let Miguel take his place.

Once the service was over, we all headed out towards where the coffin would be lowered. It felt surreal, watching the coffin be moved towards it, knowing that my grandfather was inside. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sight at I watched it being lowered into the ground, the last time I would ever see it.

My mother figure was still at my side, soft sobs falling from her lips as she tried to remain composed but desperately failed. I don’t know why she would want to remain composed at the funeral of her father, she’s allowed to mourn. It’s probably something to do with the cartel and needing to appear almost untouchable at every moment.

My eyes caught James. He was adorned in a neat black tie suit, his hair styled upon his head. He wore a stoic expression, definitely following that cartel expectation. From the outside he was a very intimidating person, someone you’d expect to be able to kill you in an instant, and he definitely could.

I was glad to know more than what lay beyond the surface. I knew the softness that was inside that he chose to only show a select few people. I’m lucky enough to be one of those people. I didn’t understand why he decided to let me in, to see the him beyond the mercenary exterior, but I didn’t question it.

His eyes met mine and that softness covered his exterior, yet it felt more noticeable as he did not care if the other saw his moment of vulnerability.

“You feel guilty, don’t you?” He suddenly spoke out into the air.

My eyebrows furrowed as a sense of panic washed over me. What was he doing?

I quickly glanced around at the rest of my family members, to my mother at my side, but they all seemed entirely focused on the casket as if James’ voice had not sliced through the silence. His accusation made my heart start to thump in my chest.

“Everywhere you go… people die.” He spoken once more. “You wonder if you should just join your grandfather, save your family the risk of anymore destruction.”

My eyes widened and I felt myself in a state of shock. My lips parted for a moment before I was able to utter a meek, “James..” My voice hesitant and desperate as I took a small almost defensive step towards him.

“Luckily I have a soft spot for you, and I can make all of this go away.” He uttered, taking a slow step towards me.

I took another cautious step towards him, as if trying to barrier him from everyone. “James, what are you doing?” I quickly uttered out, glancing behind me at my family members but finding them still hyper focused on the casket in the ground, their minds appearing absent.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, glancing back at James as I searched for answers in his deep brown eyes. He just held my gaze, taking another step towards me so that he was now right before me.

“I can save you from this.. from them. I can stop them from ripping you apart the moment they’ve found out what you’ve done.” He spoke in a low voice.

“I.. I didn’t do anything.” I whispered, warm tears filling my eyes which were a sign of my guilt.

“Don’t play dumb.” He warned. “You’re not built for this world and I won’t let them take you out of it. They say they love you but what they’ll do to you the moment they connect that lighter back to you will be a moment that’s filled with anything but love.”

I found myself unsure of what to say for a moment, not quite knowing what he was saying or what his intentions were. My eyebrows softly furrowed as whispered. “I don’t understand.”

A soft, almost taunting chuckle left him as he reached behind his back, his movements slow as if he knew that it was killing me in anticipation. The worst kind of anticipation. His attention shifted from me to the figure behind me, my mother, who’s attention was still entirely focused on the casket. Her body seemed stiff, and so did the rest of my family members.

“Maria.” He called out to her. Her attention finally turned towards us, a soft gloomy smile on her face.

Before she could speak, the deafening sound of a gunshot rang through the air and her figure fell to the floor with a thud. No one moved, no one reacted, except for me. 

A gasp of horror left my lips, my limbs now frozen in fear at the sight of my mothers lifeless body and the dark crimson wound in the middle of her forehead. Her eyes stared up at the sky, empty and now devoid of any emotion. Blood slowly trickled from the wound and down the side of her face.

I stared back at James in horror, unable to utter anything as my entire face read the expression of trying to figure out why he would do this.

“You shouldn’t have taken what wasn’t yours.” He uttered.

I shook my head in desperation as another sob left my lips. I wanted him to stop talking.

“You shouldn’t have disobeyed your grandfather… now look what you’ve done.”

His eyes moved to stare behind me and I slowly let my gaze follow his. The moment my eyes landed on what his were focused on, another sob filled gasp left my throat and my figure threatened to fall to the floor as my entire body became filled with an aching weakness.

My entire family lay slaughtered before me. Their bodies scattered across the grass, crimson soaking the dirt around them. They had received the same fate my mother had, shown no mercy by the sniper. Their soulless eyes stared at the grey, cloud filled sky.

This isn’t real.

This isn’t real.

Please don’t let it be real.

I woke with a burning gasp, my throat dry and my skin covered in a chilling cold sweat. My body ached as if it had been tensing for hours. My hands gripped the sheets as I tried to come clear of my surroundings, my eyes adjusting to the darkness that filled my room.

The one hour of sleep I had managed to get was filled with the mixture of a memory and a nightmare, the real aspect of it all distorted by the fear that had filled my brain. My grandfathers funeral had been far less eventful.

My heart was pounding in my chest, it thrumming in my ears as I glanced around my room expecting to see something responsible for the panic that filled my brain. My room was completely empty, the only sound being my own rapid breathing and the crickets softly chirping outside.

I slowly let my breathing come to a calm as I became aware that it was all a dream. I yearned for the memory of last night to be a dream, but I knew it wasn’t. My heart began to slowly pound in my chest once more as a sense of panic washed over me.

Mom.

Before I could think anything else, I was throwing the covers off my legs and quickly swinging off the bed and stepping onto the floor. My feet quietly thumped against the floor as I pressed my door open, my figure heading straight for my mothers room with a fear filled determination.

My brain was immediately assuming the worst, expecting to see the last remnants of my mother the moment I opened her bedroom door. My chest ached, warm tears filling my eyes and creating a blur in my vision. I could not help but feel that my dream was some sort of warning.

The sight of her open bedroom door made my steps come to a slow, taking in a soft breath as I prepared myself for the potential sight that lay before me. My hand reached out and pushed her bedroom door further open, my head reluctantly peaking inside to look upon-

An empty room with a neatly made bed.

I furrowed my brows in confusion as a momentary sense of relief washed over me. My brain refused to believe that she hadn’t been hurt in the process of James’ ridding of my uncle Jose. My feet hurried towards the stairs, grasping onto the railing as I hurried downstairs.

“Mom?” I called out, my voice struggling to come out as my throat felt like it was constricting.

The sound of quiet conversation emanating from the kitchen made my footsteps come to a slow, my eyebrows furrowing deeper as I neared the kitchen. I first spotted my aunt Ana’s figure leaned against the kitchen counter, her eyes lighting as she spotted me.

She let out a loud noise that was hard to understand what the source was, her figure hurrying to mine as her arms completely enveloped my body, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. My mind immediately assumed that she knew what happened to Uncle Jose, interpreting the sound she made as one of distress.

“I can’t believe it.” She uttered as she gave me a gentle squeeze.

I couldn’t help the warm tears that filled my eyes at her words. Did they know? Why were they so calm? I couldn’t understand what was happening and glanced over Aunt Ana’s shoulder at my mother who was staring at me with a smile reflecting that of pride?

Her figure was sat at the dining table, a magazine open in her hand before she slowly set it down, moving to stand from the table. My heart began to slowly pound in my chest again, my hands barely returning the right hug that my aunt was delivering. I stared at my mother with a blurry vision.

“Is everything okay?” I barely whispered.

My aunt let out another noise which I could now tell was not one of distress but one of excitement. She mumbled against my shoulder as she spoke, a sense of heartbreak to her voice. “My babygirl’s all grown up now.”

A strange sense of relief washed over me. They didn’t know. A part of me wanted to keep it that way, to keep the peace for my own sanity. My hands softly clenched the material of her shirt as I gentle nuzzled into her shoulder, finding a sense of comfort. I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. I couldn’t decide what to do.

Aunt Ana pulled away, her face changing into one of concern as she noticed the light state of distress evident across my face. She titled her head in an quizzical manner. “What’s wrong?” She softly asked, her eyebrows lightly furrowing.

I glanced behind her, trying to find some semblance of proof that Uncle Jose was still alive. If he were, he would be down here with us right now. My chest tightened and I whispered. “Where’s Uncle Jose?”

Her expression deepened as sorrow covered her features, her hand lightly rubbing my arm in a soothing manner.

“Oh, i’m sorry. Uncle Jose couldn’t stay. Business in Seattle pulled him away early this morning. I tried my best to get him to stay but he turned his phone off the moment I did. He promised we would be here for you today.” Aunt Ana softly frowned.

He’s not in Seattle, he’s dead.

I couldn’t utter those words, I couldn’t tell her. How was I supposed to tell them that I had witnessed James murder Uncle Jose after he admitted to not caring to spare me once evidence of the fire was connected to me. My eyes struggled to meet Aunt Ana’s, unable to look her in the eyes knowing the horrifying truth.

A sense of confusion washed over me as I recalled her words, my eyebrows lightly furrowing as I uttered. “Be here for me?..”

She let out a soft chuckle, titling her head once more in amusement as she lightly squeezed my bicep in a teasing manner. “Just turned twenty-one and the dementia is already kicking in. You’re not that old, honey.”

My birthday. It’s my birthday.

I swallowed the burning lump in my throat, softly nodding as I tried to pretend that I hadn’t forgotten my own birthday due to the haunting memory of last night. “Right, my party. Sorry.”

My aunt dismissed my forgetfulness with a soft wave of the hand, turning to keep one arm wrapped around my shoulder as she faced my mother, a prideful smile across her face. “There’s pancakes on the counter, the ones you like. Your mom made them.”

My mother gave a soft smile, moving from her place at the table to replace my aunt at my side, placing a kiss to the top of my head. ���Happy Birthday, mija.”

I met her gaze but failed to return the smile, only able to utter a meek whisper. “Thank you.”

My mother had never been the overly affectionate type. The only time she had truly shown any affection towards me in front of other was at my grandfathers funeral. When she pulled me to her side, it was a comfort I had not felt very often. Arguably, I had received more comforting affection from James in moments where she should have been the one comforting me.

I guessed that she just wasn’t very sure of how to comfort her own daughter. My grandfather wasn’t a very affectionate person, and as his own daughter it didn’t seem like she received the affection she should have.

She gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving the kitchen, leaving me to wander towards where the pancakes were. I wasn’t sure if I could stomach anything, but I still piled three onto a plate and moved towards the dining table.

My gaze seemed to be stuck at the world outside as I glanced through the large windows. I wanted to think of something, to place logic into what I had seen last night. My brain was yearning for it to have just been some kind of late night hallucination, but I knew it wasn’t. One side of me was angry at James for murdering my uncle, but the other side viewed him as a kind of savior.

He killed my uncle before the possibility of either one of us getting the blame for the fire could happen. Was it to save his own skin, or me?

My body stilled the moment the sound of familiar footsteps filled the air, sourcing from near his bedroom before heading down the stairs and towards the dining area. My entire body seemed to grow stiff before I began to shovel slices of the pancakes into my mouth as a way of busying myself so that I didn’t have to face him.

I could hear him enter the kitchen just opposite the dining area. Normally, he would have greeted me the moment he saw me, but today he was still. His eerie quietness did not help the thrumming of my heart inside my chest.

He flicked the coffe machine on, it beginning to softly rumble as the water heated up. There was the sound of his feet moving as he grabbed a mug from the cabinet, placing it on the counter before placing coffee inside. I found myself hyper aware of his every moment, yet keeping my eyes focused on my plate and the way my hand shook as I brought another forkful to my mouth.

After stirring his coffee, he let the teaspoon clatter in the sink before moving towards the dining table. My entire body went rigid, my head almost ducking down as if to try and cower out of sight. The air was thick, we both knew and yet we both did not dare to speak.

The chair across from me screeched as he pulled it out, placing his mug down before taking a seat. I hesitated for meeting his gaze. The moment our gazes connected, my stomach flipped. His demeanor was calm and collected, as if nothing was wrong. He offered a soft smile, one I tried to return but failed to.

I barely managed to stomach the breakfast my mother had made, not wanting to offend her by not eating it. I tried my best to remain calm and composed, but James’ gaze which seemed to burn holes into my being made my stomach churn. Every time I shoveled a fork full into my mouth, I found myself waiting for him to say something as he waited for me to say something.

I couldn’t say anything, no matter how much I wanted to. Every time the thought of speaking out about what I had seen last night crossed my thoughts, my body seemed to stiffen in a grave state of discomfort. My body would momentarily still before I would quickly try and regain my movement, wanting to avoid looking suspicious.

“You look tired.” James uttered to the air. “Did you not sleep well last night?” His head was tilted in an almost interrogating manner, he knew why and yet he wanted to hear me say it.

My body involuntarily stilled once more. I glanced over at him for a moment, my chest tightening. I softly shrugged, staring down at my plate as I softly spoke. “I’m fine.”

He let out a soft hum, moving his attention to the window outside. He brought his mug to his mouth, taking a soft sip before placing it down again, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. I couldn’t help but stare at him. The dream I had last night had intensified the feeling that was already stirring within my stomach.

“There’s going to be a lot of people tonight.” He uttered.

I didn’t speak for a moment, just giving a soft nod.

“A lot of people who care for you.” He met my gaze, his fingers lightly trailing over the handle of the mug before him. “You excited?”

I hesitated for a moment, possibly too long of a moment to go unnoticed before softly nodding once more. My voice felt stuck in my throat. I couldn’t bare to sit before him like this, to pretend that everything was normal. It wasn’t, at any moment the world was going to crumble.

“I’m gonna.. go get dressed.” I uttered, grabbing my plate to quickly stand, pushing my chair in before moving to place my plate in the sink. Somehow, I had managed to finish the pancakes, filling every moment of silence with the sound of chewing.

I exited the kitchen in a possibly suspicious speed, not caring if he stared as I left. I just needed distance. I needed time to figure this out. It was still quite a few hours until I needed to get ready for the party. Guilt burned in my stomach with every moment that I kept what I saw to myself.

I managed to hide away in my room without any interruptions or possible suspicion until it was time for me to get ready. My mother and I had gone shopping for the dress I was going to wear a few days prior. I had been so excited to wear it, but tonight it just felt wrong. It felt wrong knowing i’d go out to my birthday venue, face all my family and friends and not say anything.

I slipped on the dress, pairing it with a pair of small heels to ensure that my feet wouldn’t get too sore throughout the night. I planned to spend the night dancing away all of my problems with as much alcohol in my system as I could take without getting absolutely sick.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror of my dressing table. James had been right, I did look tired. My mother and aunt were apparently too excited about tonight to notice. His hyper focus on me was the reason he noticed, assessing me for any sign that I might give him up and tell the truth about what happened.

I gently applied the rest of my mascara, completing the look. I managed to hide the circles under my eyes and the dullness to my gaze with an eye look that complimented my features. I softly set the mascara down on the dresser and took in a soft breath as if to prepare myself.

Before I could stand, a soft knock was at my bedroom door. My eyebrows softly furrowed before I uttered, “Yes?”

The door opened with a quiet creek and my entire body seemed to grow stiff once more as James stepped inside of my room, not speaking a word as he closed the door behind him, leaving us alone in the confines of my room. My heart seemed to slowly begin to pound in my chest.

“Yes?” I whispered out, asking what it was that brought him here, watching him through the reflection of the mirror.

He held my gaze for a moment before taking a slow step forwards.

“Your mother would like to leave soon, just so that we can do last minute preparations at the venue.”

I nodded and softly spoke. “Okay.”

I expected him to leave after those words but he didn’t. Instead he just stood there for a moment, holding my gaze as it appeared he had a lasting thought on his mind. He took another slow step forward.

“I know i’m supposed to give you your gift at the party, but I just wanted to give you something before.” He stated.

I didn’t say anything, just simply watching him as I waited for him to continue. My mind was curious to what it was that he wanted to give me.

I watched as he slipped his hand inside his jacket pocket. My mind immediately began assuming the worst, that the gift he was going to give me was a bullet to the head on the night of my birthday. I watched with cautious eyes at his hand and almost let out a sigh of relief at the sight of a small black box in his fingertips.

“I had this made for you.” He softly spoke.

My eyebrows lightly furrowed at his words, as if surprised that he would do something so kind. I had always seen him as kind, even as I saw him do horrific things to those who apposed my mother.

He pulled the lid off of the black box and set it down on the dresser before me. He pulled a glistening gold necklace out of the box, the chain delicate. I watched through the reflection as he stepped towards me, bringing his arm around to join the necklace around my neck.

The chain was cold against my burning skin, all too aware of his presence behind me, the way his fingers brushed against my skin as he clasped it closed. His hands didn’t retreat, instead moving to rest on my shoulders, his palms resting against my skin as he gave it a gentle squeeze. His eyes met mine in the reflection of the mirror.

“Happy Birthday, Y/n.” He softly uttered.

He had to have seen the terror that lay underneath my expression. The way my eyes were a little too wide, my expression a little too narrowed, yet he didn’t say anything. He just held my gaze. He remained calm and collected far better than I did, clearly having had done this more than once.

I shifted my attention to the necklace, holding the pendant between my fingertips as I brought it up to study it. There was the image of an greek statue surrounded by litters of flowers. The woman depicted in the pendant held one hand to her chest, the other at her side as he cast her gaze aside. It was a beautiful necklace.

“Persephone.” He suddenly spoke.

I met his gaze in the mirror, confused.

“The woman in the pendant. It’s Persephone. The goddess of growth, fertility and love.”

I shifted my gaze to the pendant once more. His statement made the necklace seem even more beautiful. For a moment I seemed to forget what I had seen in the night before and I was back with the same James I knew before.

My eyebrows furrowed as I remembered his prior words. I had this made for you.

Had I reminded him of Persephone? I knew little of the tales of her and the other Greek gods and goddesses. The face of the woman in the pendant was almost reflective of mine but it was too small to truly tell. Her features became vague with the size of her.

His figure shifted, his hands moving to rest on the chair as his head leaned downwards. His breath was warm against my ear and his eyes held an almost terrifying intensity.

“Tonight, all eyes are going to be on you.”

Those words hung in the air for a moment as he took a small step backwards, his eyes trained on me before he turned away and took slow strides out of the room. I couldn’t tell if those words were just an utterance of mere fact.. or a warning not to try anything stupid like tell my mother what I had seen.

The memory of the nightmare I had last night flickered in my mind and I couldn’t help but picture the entirety of the guests tonight slaughtered at his precise hand for the utterance of a confession. My chest tightened and my eyes began to pool with warmth. I blinked the tears away, letting my head hang as I took in a slow breath.

I clenched the pendant in my hand, holding it tight. I wanted to rip the necklace off and discard it, but I couldn’t find the strength to do so. My hand shook, my lip trembling as my eyes pressed shut. I couldn’t let him ruin this for me. I had dreamt about this night for so long.

Breath.

Just breathe.

Tag list

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[http-drabbles]

soulmate, soulmate where are you? 2

1.3k words of absolute crushing angst, it's 7am and i woke up to write. shall i be evil and let this be the final part? mayhaps.

warnings: s/h and making jungkook sad (:W)

fuck fuck fuck.

skimming every question and typing out my answer feels a lot like betrayal. name, age, country of residence, when my soulmate mark appeared, contact details, translator needed, agreeing to a declaration that if my soulmate mark was found to be fraudulent i could face a fine or jail time. i tick the box by his name, attach a photo of my mark and send the form off. the confirmation email is too cheery it makes my jaw ache at how i grind my teeth.

i don't want to talk about the circumstances that lead me to fill out that form, to apply for a loan that covers travel cost and a hotel for this. the woman who helped me fill out the form was again all too cheery, wishing me a good luck and all i could do was smile so fucking limply back at her while noticing lipstick smudged against her teeth.

a month passes and i'm gleeful, maybe it's a network error and my form never submitted. i'm free and can tell the loan company to cancel my plan, i don't go on social media to see what jungkook is up to and in those weeks the nightmare is over and i embrace my loneliness.

the email arrives at 16:21. heathrow to seoul, a contact at hybe will meet me at the airport. id needed. date of when i'm expected to actually meet jungkook, with a disclaimer that it may change due to fluctuating schedule. the tiger lily tingles, and i almost see the petals opening ready to accept him.

"don't get your hopes up, i can always email them back to get out of this."

i don't. of course i don't because i'm standing in a Costa in London Fucking Heathrow next to the hybe contact who is analysing their croissants like it's the key to end all misery. i wished i could look at croissants with that much intensity.

she asked once to see my soulmate mark, gave it a one second glance over and then typed something down in her phone, i wondered how many people she's flown with to Korea. more than ten i would bet. i don't ask, i'm not conversational but when we're waiting in the queue holding out boarding passes i blurt to her.

"i haven't flown before. i've got a fear of it i think."

she passes me a sleeping tablet and i bump her number from ten to a solid fifteen.

korea is pretty, face practically smushed against the taxi window i take in every single detail i can. there's an over-abundance of signs, low hanging wires and roads so tiny it's a miracle a car can pass through them. i don't take photos, i rely on my brain to remember and then forget.

hybe is anything but pretty, more like a grey lump of concrete and glass. i sign two more documents and the translator informs me that in two days time i will be meeting jungkook, but not officially meeting. more like my arm will be stuck through a gap and our soulmate marks will touch, i will have to wear a mitt because some people had become a little too excited and scratchy. my mark is thoroughly inspected this time, deemed official and not a tattoo i'm driven over to my hotel.

i don't unpack, staring at the forms in my hand which are a mix of korean and english i almost laugh. traitor. stupid traitor.

over the next two days i come to two big conclusions, one kimchi is too sour but the rice cakes should be considered a universal delicacy and two, is it too late to back out?

is it too late to back out? i'm in the taxi, i consider clawing the windows for escape but i decide that digging my fingers into my belly helps ease my nerves. can i back out? hybe is cold, the ac is too strong and there's other girls in the room i'm lead into. shy smiles as i plop myself in the back. we are called alphabetically. is it possible to back out? there's four of us left now, i didn't bother counting us as a whole. i can't stop digging my nails into my stomach.

i can't back out. my name is called and somehow my body removes the hand from my belly and i walk myself over to the room. there's a row of grey screen partitions that divide the room, a small slither in the middle presumably where my arm will go. it hits me jungkook is on the other side and i bite my bottom lip hard to avoid laughing. tugging my sleeve up a staff member puts the mitt on securely, another verbal warning to not do anything harmful to the artist.

artist and not his name.

i sit down on the chair, staring into that small space to catch a sight of him but there's nothing. i don't mind a fine, or jail time. i hope it's not real. deliberately slowly i raise my arm, putting it through the gap with my tiger lily facing upwards. the air shifts around my arm and i feel him. warm as his tiger lily presses against mine.

at first nothing, and i almost let out the loudest sigh of relief and then it is everything. in the mitt my fingers jerk, i pull away like i've been electrocuted clutching my arm but it's energy, pure energy. thrum. drum. drum.

he's tearing the partitions apart and i stagger back, nearly falling over the chair to get away from him. frantic korean, something more reassuring from a staff member and then he pokes his head through. beaming smile, he's so happy to see me and i guess i'm somewhere between absolutely mortified and in complete shock. his sleeve is rolled up and i notice his tiger lily has fully blossomed, a quick glance down at mine and i realise mine is the same.

he speaks again, approaching me like he wants to hug me but seeing that i'm backing away like a rabid animal he slows, contains himself and glances at the translator and back at me.

"hello. i'm jungkook. it's nice to meet you finally." oh god. too much. he's too kind and his cologne has infiltrated my nostrils and i'm so glad the mitt is still on because i'd be clawing at my nose to stop smelling it.

"s-sorry.. can't." i give the staff member who brought me in here the universal look of, 'get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-now.' i am ignored.

"sorry?" he tilts his head in pure confusion, he looks worried. i hate him for it. "don't be sorry. it's okay. i'm happy."

i glance around the room and notice i'm being recorded, i don't know what sets me off more. he's too close, the camera, him, why is he so close? he touches my shoulder to comfort me and i jerk away, i can't stop looking at the camera and the other staff members who are beaming at us.

"i'm sorry," my eyes lock with his, "i don't want you." he doesn't understand and i glance at the translator.

she looks sad and very softly tells him what i've said, he doesn't seem to believe her because he presses his fingers against the tiger lily and shakes his head.

"us. this is us." he's struggling to speak himself and i can see him remembering. he's really looking at my arm now, clearer. the burns, the cuts. all the times i've tried to prune that cancerous flower from my arm. almost physically wounded he takes a step back.

"i'm sorry, i don't want this." the translator repeats my words and all he does is nod.

he nods and i leave.

[dcbbw]

Commoner, Part 2--Secret

Part 2 of Commoner! Part 1 can be found here.  We’re picking up where we left off (Leo left, Sav is pregnant, and no one knows)

This story was born of a long-standing head canon (Sav would crush on the older brother, not her brother’s best friend), and the song inspiration (original version, but used the sad and acoustic version for this fic); lyrics are also taken from the song inspo.

IF you read this, THANK YOU! Your likes, comments, and/or reblogs are appreciated more than you realize. Please excuse any and all typos, missing/extraneous words, and/or grammatical errors. MS Editor rates this story as 99% error-free.

To all those who read over this story in its various variations and renditions, THANK YOU! Your feedback, ideas, and encouragement was invaluable (as always).

Thanks to @choicesflashfics for their Week 62 prompt #2, which will appear in bold.

Song Inspo: Strangers (sad and acoustic version), Kenya Grace

Pairing(s): Savannah Walker x Leo Rys; Savannah Walker x Bertrand Beaumont

Word Count: 2,201

Rating: M for Mature themes

I sit in the back of the sleek, black Mercedes that is Duchy Ramsford’s official vehicle with the Brothers Beaumont, en route to the Palace. King Constantine has requested a meeting of the Great Houses.

And me.

I vacillate between relief that he will put those awful rumors to rest, and fear that Leo will be there with that woman.

“You appear to be deep in thought,” Bertrand observes. “Are you feeling well?”

I plaster a quick smile onto my lips. “Merely curious why the King would want me to be present at this meeting.”

The Duke gives me a solicitous nod, and I again wonder why he’s been so nice to me since our breakfast encounter.  It’s not that Bertrand is a bad guy; he has taught me a lot during my month at House Beaumont. I know more than I ever wanted to about utensils, glassware, table etiquette, and bloodlines and lineage. I now know that the reason I don’t have the title of Lady, the most ubiquitous yet ambiguous title a woman can hold, is because I don’t belong to a House.

I’m commoner.

But he isn’t a nice guy either, so the attention is a bit … odd.

“I wonder if it has anything to do with Leo, and all the news stories?” Max pipes up. “Although I suppose if Bastien is at the Palace and Leo isn’t, that may be all the confirmation we need.”

Bertrand looks out the window. “We’re here,” he announces.

I swear I feel my baby flip inside my stomach, which is stupid. I’m only eight weeks along.

As we walk up the front staircase, I don’t feel a sense of homecoming. I only feel dread. My throat closes when Bastien opens the door and leads us to the formal living room where the other guests are gathered. Groups are huddled close together; there are murmurs of conversations I cannot hear. I hug my brother and struggle through a curtsy meant to encompass the entire room. No one acknowledges me other than Kiara, who gives me a huge grin and enthusiastic hug.

And I wonder why I feel the need to be a part of this world, to be accepted by the very people who never will.

That it'll never change And it will just stay like this

I catch a glimpse of Madeleine, who is stone-faced; only the paleness of her skin and the clenching of her jaw signals anger, embarrassment, and hurt. I look down at her hands; her fingers are bare of jewelry.

Leo has left both of us.

The King clears his throat, and we all turn towards the front of the room. He is flanked by Queen Regina and Liam; all of them are wearing stoic expressions and I know … in my brain, my heart, my very soul … Leo has run off and fulfilled promises he could never make to me to another woman. I’m a single, teenaged mother with absolutely nothing to my name; I can’t even leverage the child growing inside of me.

There is a buzzing in my ears that drowns out the words my monarch is uttering until he states that Liam will ascend to the throne. There is to be a social season, and I will be the House Beaumont sponsee. The Crown will fund my sponsorship as I was still their ward and had no properties of my own. Drake’s face darkens, Bertrand beams proudly, and Max jumps up and down in excitement.

There’s something about Bertrand’s smile … he isn’t surprised to hear this news. Did he already know what to expect?  Was Leo the phone call that morning?

I throw up on the priceless carpet and my hand-me-down shoes.

Three weeks pass, weeks where I scour newspapers, magazines, and the internet for news of my baby’s father. There is a plethora of media, mostly photos of him in motocross tournaments: smiling happily in the Mojave Desert, frowning in concentration as he inspects his vehicle in UAE, sunning on a beach in Greece. The woman is not in the pictures, and rarely mentioned in the articles.

Now she can be his dirty little secret.

And when we spoke for months Well, did you ever mean it? How can we say that this is love When it goes like this?

Meanwhile, in Cordonia, my hips are spreading; my breasts are getting fuller, and my belly is only slightly rounded. Bertrand has ramped up my training but takes care to give me breaks throughout the day and we are now spending our meals together without Maxwell. He shares stories of his education, his time as a fashion designer, and memories of his childhood.

He walks me to my room every evening; occasionally he holds my hand.

I am not in love with Bertrand, but I find myself enjoying his company more and more.

But every time I meet somebody new It's like déjà vu I swear they sound the same It's like they know my skin

We’re sitting in Bertrand’s study one night; he is poring over documents related to Liam’s cabinet. Bertrand and Rashad Domvallier are to be financial and legal advisors to the new future King. I watch him nervously. I’ve decided that tonight is the time to tell him I cannot be the House’s sponsee. It isn’t fair to not tell him; he’ll need time to find someone new and school them in the ways of nobility.

My fingernails pluck nervously at my robe. I could very well be homeless in the next 15 minutes. Bertrand takes his duties as Duke seriously and is extremely rigid when it came to appearances and reputation; an unwed, pregnant commoner could not reside under the roof of House Beaumont. However, returning to the Palace would be a disaster between King Constantine and Big Brother Drake.

But it has to be done. This baby is going to make itself known sooner than later.

He drains his third glass of cognac before sighing heavily and pushing himself away from his desk. With an unsteady gait, he crosses the room to join me on the sofa. He looks almost regal in his gold silk robe with black piping, and black pajama bottoms. He sits so closely, I smell his cologne; it’s Hermès.

Leo always wore Armani.

“Savannah, I’d like to have a … conversation of a different sort with you.” His breath smells of liquor and his words are slightly slurred.

“Isn’t that funny?” I reply in a squeaky voice. “I wanted to have one with you also.”

He pulls one of my hands into his as he begins to speak. “You need to know that while you may be participating in the social season, you won’t win the hand of the Crown Prince. The position requires someone of lineage, with a knowledge of world politics and has a pulse on the fluctuating nature of both Court and Crown. However, the Engagement Tour should afford you an opportunity to marry into a minor house.”

I stare at him dumbfounded. Drunk Bertrand pisses me off.

“However, I do find myself being very attracted to you. I propose an offer that should be beneficial to both of us. I’d like you to be my mistress until we both find persons worthy of our status and station. You would become an honorary member of House Beaumont to assure you have a title, and I can be a very generous lover in more ways than one.”

He drops my hand and rises from the couch on his second attempt. He goes to a coat closet, opens the door, and retrieves a package. The box is emblazoned with Hermès’ name and logo. He brings it back to me, carefully placing it in my lap.

“Open it,” he urges.

I do so to find a limited-edition white matte satchel, made of leather and silk. The tag is still attached: $200,000 USD. I look up at him, knowing that he wants me to know how much it costs.

“Your … mistress?” I ask as my body feels as if it’s going numb.

And it will just stay like this Never really dating, breaking up

“This world is cruel. I’m just playing by its rules. It would behoove you to do so as well. You can’t be anything else to me or anyone of stature. You’re a commoner with the most basic of public education. You are ignorant in the ways of Court, the circles you would need to travel in. I am happy to give you the benefit of my knowledge, but at the end of the day, I am a Duke. Dukes don’t marry commoners.”

He says it all as if he is telling me the sun will rise in the east. Bertrand means no harm; nobles never do. Or so they claim.

Every word they say sounds just like him

My eyes fall back to the price tag, realizing I have my way out. I can keep my secret, and everyone’s precious reputation is intact.

“It’s late, Your Grace and you have given me a lot to process. I’ll have an answer for you in due time.”

He gives me a small smile. “May I … may I kiss you?”

A small shake of my head. “No,” I reply in an almost-rueful tone.

I know my place.

His smile falters, and he nods slowly. “My apologies. That was presumptuous of me.”

I mentally shake my head. THAT is what he considered to be the most horrible thing about his proposition?  I box the purse again, and stand.

“I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Three months later, I am standing on the balcony of my small pied-a-terre located in a quaint, quiet Parisian neighborhood, watching the day come to an end. The sun is still bright in the sky, but evening is fast approaching. My fingers comb through my dark, thick tresses before pulling a toffee-colored cardigan tighter across my expanding body.

It’s springtime and I think again how leaving Cordonia to settle here was the best move. Paris had always been my dream destination: red lipsticks, rich wines, decadent perfumes, trendy runway fashions.

The baby and I have even learned to enjoy the food.

My eyes take in the Palais Garnier, also known as the Paris Opera House, not that far in the distance before falling to the cobblestoned streets below: restaurant and café doors open, unleashing aromas of grilled meat and sauteed onions as bakeries pull window shades down. Women with chic hats and impossibly high heels exit dress stores, shopping bags bunched in fisted hands. Street vendors begin putting away their wares.

My stomach rumbles, and I head inside. There had been a late breakfast/early lunch a few hours ago, but the fruit, yogurt, and cheese and spinach omelet have all but disappeared now. My child has a healthy appetite. I walk around a black wrought iron table with matching chairs, pausing to fluff oversized chair cushions decorated with huge sunflowers.

I push the terrace door shut behind me before going into the kitchen. I had taken a chicken out earlier, but I no longer have an appetite for it. Instead, I want pistou pasta with grilled duck and extra mushrooms from my favorite bistro.

But money is tight. Despite having a job and being frugal with the savings leftover from the sale of the purse Bertrand gifted me, I need to be mindful of rent, food, doctor’s appointments once the child gets here and I will be on unpaid leave.

I’m having a boy that I will name Barthelemy, Bartie for short. It’s my way of paying homage to Maxwell for being such an incredible and caring friend during all of this. He doesn’t know who the father is and has never pressured me to tell him. He sends money and has offered to make an honest woman of me.

All of this even though I left House Beaumont without a sponsee, and they now either have to find one that they will have to fully sponsor or withdraw.

A knock at the door captures my attention; I stare at it with a frown. I don’t have many friends in Paris; Maxwell is due for his monthly visit next week. He’s bringing Drake and Kiara with him. They were the only two I instructed Maxwell to tell of my whereabouts. Drake and I aren’t close, but we are all we have left as far as family. He deserved to know. Kiara’s my best girlfriend, and she speaks French. Win-win.

I would like to see Liam, but he has much to learn and do before the social season begins in less than 12 weeks.

 I slowly and laboriously cross the small distance between the kitchen and the front door; my eye widens as I peer through the peephole.

Leo.

He looks even more handsome if that’s possible. He carries a bouquet of flowers in one hand as he looks around the hallway. I quietly and cautiously back away from the door as tears prick the corners of my eyes.

And then one random night When everything changes You won't reply And we'll go back to strangers

Tagging: @jared2612 ​@ao719 @marietrinmimi @indiacater​​​ @kingliam2019​ @bebepac @liamxs-world @mom2000aggie​​​ @liamrhysstalker2020​​​ @twinkleallnight @umccall71 @superharriet@busywoman​​​ @gabesmommie1130 @tessa-liam​​​ @beezm @gardeningourmet​​​ @lovingchoices14 @mainstreetreader @angelasscribbles​​​ @lady-calypso @emkay512 @princessleac1 @charlotteg234 @alj4890​ @motorcitymademadame​​​ @queenmiarys @choicesficwriterscreations

[posttexasstressdisorder]

This "Turning 65" bullshit...

Fuck this. It's insane. It's obtuse as fuck.

So there's no real "opting out" of this process, on a govermnent, SSA, State level, there is an intentional shifting of your entire life and resources over which you have no real control.

So far, it's been nothing but a clusterfuck of garbled mis-, dis-, and non- info that has resulted in a roller-coaster of emotions and fears and outright disbelief at the levels of fuckery.

As y'all know, I'm a broke-ass old hippie on SSI who occasionally makes a sale on eBay. That's all I get, and that is like $1,200/mo now. That's all. It's part USG and part State of California. It really doesn't make any sense to my logical brain how it's figured, but then they never consulted me. lulz.

So imagine my surprise and shock and panic spiral when I open two letters from SSA telling me that they're going to start taking $174/mo out of that $1,200 for Medi-Care Premiums.

This was after the official "case-worker" told me not to worry. Yeah, right. Which was right after I got mail saying I was signed up to Cigna's "Medicare Drug Plan" and would have to start paying for every prescription, with nothing free. That sent me into spasms, too.

Sat on hold for 25 mins at the generic "local office" in Oakland number, then a lady came on and I was explaining it out, after awhile she asked for info, I gave it, so she knew it was me...after she looked it up she confirmed it, and I just lost it again, like, lady, my whole life is structured around this Medi-CAL thing being free! I can't pay for SHIT!

Then she says "I see a letter that went out January 11th, which was...tomorrow!" ~chuckle~so here I am leaping fucking timelines again~ "It says the State of California will be paying your Medi-Care Premiums, so that $174/mo will not be being charged to your account after all."

Now here's the thing about it: there's (of course) that rush of relief, but then there is also that built-up STRESS CHEMICAL RESERVE that this bullshit triggered in the first fucking place.

It still needs to get processed through before you can really take in what's going on. After a couple of chuckles we bid each other a nice day and that was it. And I'm sitting here in hyper-vigilance and on the lookout for The Next Horrible Fucking Thing that's bound to drop.

Fuck the entire thing. It's borderline psychotic abusive behavior by a fucking beaurocracy! There is no dignity in living like this, after a lifetime of barely getting by, then a short time of comfort followed by destitution Yet Fucking Again.

There is no dignity in being an old person unless you have money. There is no dignity in SSI.

There is no dignity in SNAP.

There is no dignity in being unable to rent a place without roommates.

There is no dignity in not being able to GO ANYWHERE. Can't afford gas, truck still not officially legal due to smog test failure, can't afford even an oil change in order to get it tested again, then re-registered all over again from the top because it's been two fucking years.

Everybody talks about how "these are your golden years" when you're a kid, and throughout your life to bait you into thinking it'll be easy-street once you are sucked dry by your job and spat out, too old to enjoy these "golden years".

Do they have to make the transition so goddamn difficult?

[p-receh]

If you're still doing the character thing

2, 24, and 25 for sonic or amy :D

Hai Maiprim! I still am btw! I decided I won't putting it down very soon. I think this will be a fun task since I like answering ask box. I may be late but I'll always try to not left any questions behind. 😁

Wait, Sonic or Amy? How about both? 😅

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

- Sonic

The misinformation about hedgehog's fear of swimming. We previously witness accidental mistake made by the technology issues, this one however was purely man power's mistake. Despite the differences, this mistake is also become a unique trait to establish the character's value from the very first game. We don't need to know what his weaknesses are by reading his profile or interviews, we could already experienced it in practice. That is why the aquatic levels are both challenging and "frustrating" to some players (including me 🙃).

Full article. I can't stop laughing when sir Iwata asked about this in the Iwata Asks series lemao.

The other canon continuity I respect about Sonic Team is the core conflict about Nature vs Industry that is still showcased in the current game. Sure, this series--to this day-- is objectively "diverse", with a wide range of media, gameplay, music, graphics, and story. But this premise has not changed throughout three goddamn decades. It is surprisingly amazing to be fair how many times this series went down, they still managed to raise and gain success.

- Amy

I love that they have some background story behind her Piko-Piko Hammer. In Tails Adventure from Game Gear, there's an item called Pikkon Hammer.

Even it's not officially confirmed that's the exact same hammer she uses but it was really clear that's basically the concept of Piko-Piko Hammer before finalized it in the creation of Amy Rose.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

- Sonic

Ah, there's one that I felt really intact to my brain! Him and Mario in my opinion were reminded me of Percy and Jason from the Heroes of Olympus series. My 16 youth self constantly screams: 'This is totally Mario & Sonic holy shit!'. Their bonding was really cool and hilarious, that's also why the third book is my favorite of the series X'D.

- Amy

To be honest, Amy has many fandoms that remind me of her. She's a kinda mix of Sakura from Naruto, Heart from Sugo Chara, and ichigo Momomiya from Tokyo Mew-Mew, Sonoko from Conan... there's more but that's all I can think of honestly.

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

- Sonic

Again I talked much the first time I met him here. One of his most fascinating aspects is obviously his design. Before I know Sonic, the antrophormo.... Bleugh how do people nowadays say it? Ah, "Fury" style design that I have usually known about animal humanoid characters for years. Whether a simple cartoon or a heavier one like Beastar or Tom & Jerry. Or mixed up like half animal, half human(like the famous Centaur for example).

Until Sonic came in.

Concept art by Naoto Oshima and Yasashi Yamaguchi

In the first place, I can see he was inspired by Mickey Mouse or 70's cartoons based on his concept art. Yet, his final product is full of originality that almost has no resemblance to Mickey. The modern era also portrays his personality further. He is still imo one of the best designs, ever. His looks already steal the show from the very beginning before getting to know what his perks and traits are. I was interested in his looks without knowing what his abilities were. To be honest, I didn't know the meaning of the word "Sonic", heck I didn't know he was a hedgehog at that time. (I swear when I looked the CD package of Mario and Sonic, I legit staring at his design for hours. Only to analyze what the heck was he supposed to be. Yes, my 12 year old brain was not braining)

Earlier I learned about him, to me he is such a happy and quirky dude with a style. Moving so free like the wind itself without any regrets. That's how I see him the moment he entered the field in the first cutscene of 06.

(Talk about an entrance! 👀. Que to 02:25 , "Event: Sonic Appears" is one my fav Sonic introduction scene is series. Hear that glorious rearrangge ver of His World beibeh! 😎)

But the one that made me falls into this giant pit hole of this series was when I watch Colors after 06 and this scene happened.

Even though it short as heck, but the way he suddenly turn into serious was caught me off guard. I literally opened my eyes wiiide as egg benedict. Sonic Team sure ain't lying about Sonic in serious mode!

(original article, fan translation)

It's always such a rare moment but when he does, he's ridiculously scary! He looks like a different person! And I'm so glad this rare trait still respectfully presented in other media till today.

(Yeah I know 06 got tons of that but that kissing scene destroyed my youth brain that I forgot most of them afterwards lol)

My opinion of him tbh hasn't changed that much. As much as Sega has made some of the dumbest decisions ever, at the end of the day, I can't hate him. All of his VAs are great to each of their own with no exception (I'm not joking. Even I like my own country's ver of Sonic), His one-liner quotes are motivating and inspiring to me. His games really encapsulate fast action sequences and pioneers with the term "speedrun". His music resonates with me to this day. He truly is just a guy who seeks adventure above everything. And he is one of IP platformers outside Nintendo that's still strong as now. Which is really amazing to observe.

Yes, I get it, He can never beat Mario with all his glory. But hey, like it or not, he's the only contender left to match his style. Even if it takes time, I can hope the path that the Sonic Team chooses now... slowly but surely Sonic will be at least on par with Mario in terms of quality (and popularity in Japan).

(Straight to the point. 😎👌)

Even his very first page of his jp manual book from the first game says this:

Rough translation :

"Sorry for being cheeky.

Fusy people are the worst.

I don't do it for justice, I just do what I like to do.

But nevertheless I won't betray you."

- Amy

I always loved an energetic and optimistic trope girl so it's no surprise that Amy filled the checklists. Her main color code happens to be pink aaaaaaand she has short hair(quills in this case)! XD. She's instantly become my fav in the selection phase from the moment I laid eyes on her. She is probably one of the few characters to actually wield a weapon in the series. A female character using a giant item to fight is never old and she's no exception.

What I like the most about her is that she's essentially the mother of a group. Never give up hope when everything is ruined. As much as she is loyal to Sonic, even she bravely steps in against Sonic for what it's right to her.

In my opinion, her perks of protective over Sonic from strangers somehow led her to actually be the one who reassures and helps them in need. And she always did with most of Sonic rivals: Shadow, Silver, Blaze, Chaotix, you name it.

She's that simple! But why the fuck is she still being misinterpreted by fandom? Allahuakbar uuuuuuurrrggghhh I can't...

To be fair, both of them are the highest debated topics in the fandom. Every account can say their opinions and can stir other opinions in a flick of a switch. It's rapidly quick and miss. They constantly change and twist the debate per second, then magically forget for a week until they argue the very fucking same topic. This cycle tremendously repeats every month, every year! It just never ends!

It had gotten seriously worse since the pandemic and I. had. enough. This is why I never admit myself as a sonic fan specifically on the internet. I think I already explained enough before, so I don't want to add anything else.

I honestly love Amy US and JP voice. But as non both speakers, Sega must have created a middle decision to solve the confusion for Japanese and overseas players, especially in the west. Cuz hands up, their cultures are pretty in contrast with how distinct the scripts and the voice lines are. My only suggestion is the Sonic Team makes two different angles of a cutscene to match both tones. This strategy surprisingly has already been used by RGG, another dev team under Sega, since Like a Dragon 7.

I don't expect them to do another cgi attempt, nononononono. 06 and Unleashed are enough. But does it mean the Sonic team must do double animated scenes for US and JP scripts? From how the scripts were written in Frontiers, I .... guess so?

I mean, what else is left then? :/

[nonbinaryaubrey]

furmori anon here

to be honest, did not think of specific species, past, general type of animal..

so gonna go with, yes aubrey is a rosy maple moth

now gonna explain reasoning

basil is meant to be a lamb as like, sacrifice and innocence, bcus yeah basil is a character portrayed consistently as a sacrifice, weak, and innocent, particularly by Sunny

ram was really just, well basil is a lamb so, stranger had to be in that same general realm, maybe should be a goat instead in the way of a scapegoat but eh

sunny is a lizard bcus, okie he just has lizard vibes, and I think it'd be fun, no real thoughts put into it

omori is a dragon bcus sunny is a lizard, and well, dragons are just cool fantasy lizards, and also, much more powerful than lizards, which, fits the bill... Also... Cool cleansing and overtaking flame imagery, and also, hoarding, which... fits, probably

aubrey is a moth because... Well, my thought process was, metamorphosis symbolism, not as "wow I got better over the years" with a butterfly where they're seen as pretty things, but the less beloved moth, often seen as pests, and less useful (not really being known to pollinate as much), and connections made now, the connection to the spirit world, and how Aubrey is the one who seems most... connected, to Mari, after her passing, in the way of acknowledging her death still

dw aubrey is a larve/caterpillar mostly bcus Aubrey is a moth

mari is a butterfly because... well mainly read a line in a fanfic about how, butterflies, while pretty on the outside, when you look closer most would find rather ugly... in the way that Mari while being kind and definitely trying her best, DID harm Sunny, emotionally, and with the intensity of the violin from what I know, also physically, and was generally a perfectionist, also, a certain show made me really like butterflies as a symbol of trauma/adverse experiences, so yeah... imagine that Something shows up a LOT more, but in much more subtle ways, colored butterflies often flitting about in darker areas, and well... going darker, as the areas get even darker, and bug imagery used for horror, v gud, and would happen here

hero is an eagle literally just because I thought it'd be cool, and Idk, he seems like he'd like birds, didn't really put much thought past that, after checking symbolism on google some of it fits

Kel is a hyena, bcus, well it just made sense in my brain at the time, but, going deeper...

kel is associated with canines in official omori with hector and also just, being shown as one in the little creechur art of him, so, made sense with that aspect, and secondly... the laugh of a hyena, I've heard and have googled to confirm, hyenas don't laugh just out of joy, but also frustration and fear, which... looking at Kel's response to, that, being to keep positive, and still tries to be happy go lucky during the time in current omori, despite definitely facing a lot of very messed up stuff, just... fits, also, google says hyenas can symbolize escapism which... generally fits

okie hope u enjoy and this isn't too cringe <3

NOT CRIGNE AT ALL ANON DO NOT WORRYYY WEE!!! oohghghg I AM STARING AT ALL THIS SO HARD.. the symbolism.. ooouughggh 🥺staring with my big weird bug eyes I ENJOY THIS SO MUUUCH THE THOUGHT PUT INTO THESEE.. esp kel, aub, and MARII!! auugh augh wails in despair.. this is so good ..

[accirax]

I'm kinda embarrassed to admit that I haven't stopped thinking about the Dan & Alec double greeting idea since I first brought it up.. 😅 I've practically fallen in love with it and I really want to see someone make it happen one day~! Here's some more ideas my brain popped out:

The buyer asks if the two have ever heard of or watched Sam O'Nella (weird starter, I know). I like to think Dan knows the guy pretty well and has enjoyed watching his videos since he was 14 (he and his friends probably make silly inside jokes or quote random stuff from his videos all the time); he'll probably have to explain to Alec who he is and maybe recommend some vids to him since they are equally very hilarious & informative. [ In case you've never seen this youtuber before here are some out of context clips to give you an idea of what his content is like - HERE and HERE ]

2nd Part to #1, the buyer also asks if they watch Casual Geographic (Love this guy, highly recommend checking out his channel if you haven't yet) - I guess Alec would probably be *slightly* more familiar with this guy (maybe stumbling upon a video/short of his once or twice on the rare occasions he scrolls through youtube), as for Dan, yeah he watches a lot of his vids too.

2nd Option, the buyer asks Dan for more info on his sister, i.e. what she's like, what are her hobbies/interests, is she older or younger, etc. (until we get confirmation otherwise, I'm kinda latching onto the headcanon of him and Frannie being fraternal twins) They also ask Alec if he has any siblings of his own (I highly doubt he does but it would be nice to get a confirmation either way). Afterwards, the two will end the greeting with buyer's song request, the chorus of Rambley Review by RecD ft. OtterBoyVA (or maybe the whole first verse & stuff together with the chorus if there's enough time)

3rd Option, in regards to the fear factor challenge in S1, the buyer asks the two where their fears originated from. Not sure what to say for Alec's part when they discuss it but I do picture Dan's story going something like this - "I think I was around 9 or 10. It was late autumn and I was looking for a coat to put on so I could go with mom & Frannie somewhere. Once the coat was on, I started to feel this... thing tickling my upper arm down by my elbow. I brushed it off at first, but then it started to make its way up to my shoulder and into my neck. Next thing I knew this big, lanky, brown house spider was coming out of the collar and crawling down my arm! After it was *nesting* inside the sleeve of my coat!" ... "Yikes." was all Alec could say. 😆 "Yeahhh... I was never the biggest fan of spiders tbh, but that day only amplified my distaste." He wraps his arms around himself as he shudders, "I couldn't wear jackets and coats for MONTHS after that. No matter how cold it got. 😖" - If there's still time in the video left after reliving their personal traumas, the boys will finish it off by singing the buyer's requested song. "Tom's Diner" by DNA & Suzanne Vega, just the first verse.

apparently tumblr won't let me submit a post that starts in a numbered list... functional website challenge failed yet again.

i hadn't heard of Sam O'Nella before! in fact, my first thought was that you were talking about Sal Manella from Ace Attorney, which would have been an even weirder starting point. the guy's art style does look kind of familiar, though. i could definitely see Dan and Alec bonding over edutainment content like this!

also never heard of this guy! he's got a lot of views, though. i continue to evade tiktok...

full agree that people should ask contestants more about their potential siblings in general. sibling dynamics are a really interesting lens through which to view characters... even if i always forget to give my own OCs siblings 😅 do you think either Alec or Dan would be familiar with what Indigo Park is? (i wasn't)

well, who needs the official greeting now that you've already written out exactly what would be in it? (/j) also, yay, finally a song i recognize! i listened to Tom's Diner a decent amount as a kid. i would hope that one of them would make a sassy remark about Tom opening a donut-themed diner, too. with our powers combined, we can make this greeting ourselves! ... other than the voice acting.

if you had to pick, would you prefer that the first Dan double greeting be with Alec, Drew, or someone else? 👀

[renee00124]

*Mind Reading, Fearmongering and Official High-Tech, COVERT Assassinations* *

As a Human Rights Advocate and Author of seven book on this program, the setup around me search for subjugative fear on a daily basis and have stated, "If you don't stop, we will kill you". This morning I again wake to PsyOps compliments from the AA Urban Cops, who repeatedly state if I date one of them they will leave me alone. Over my dead body I might add! Then, in some type herd high-school boy's club, while talking with the electric company, narcissisist federal agents, the leadership, can be heard in the background with insincere compliments. Apparently they think all women, want compliments from men trying to covertly assassinate them.

Meanwhile, military personnel, and all document a mind read thought about the slow beam cooking of my breast and cancer. After it registers, on their system, that you are thinking how the microwave beamed slow cooking tissue has enlarged the size and abnormal for me, apparently it is a green light for escalation.

"Break her" was stated about a month ago. How I wondered after this announcement? As previously stated, they had a distant relative, using anyone they contact looking for discrediting information, phone me saying she had breast cancer and beat it. I told her I have had mammograms every year for 20 years with no issues and now in the safety zone have stopped confirmed by my doctor. These human monsters obviously feel that she could be used to redirect focus aways from what they are strategically doing by saying it hereditary. However, in reality, the enlargement may come back to bite them along with my early documentation everywhere of what they are doing.

Trust me when I say this program is DIABOLICAL, well thought out, and those involved appear to be barely human.

Mind reading technology has been in research, TESTING, and development programs for many, many years as shown in the Mind Control Patent link on my website.

Silence is not an option!

Website: http://bigbrotherwatchingus.com

Blog: https://youarenotmybigbrother.blog Note: See also the "Strategic Slow Kill" blog on this site

Amazon:

https://us.amazon.com/s?k=Renee+Pittman+Books&crid=RHDLDLF24UX2&sprefix=renee+pittman+books%2Caps%2C182&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

[autumn-sweet-fae]

i wonder how Sneasler and Ingo (and Akari?) adjust to living in Nimbasa, which is right next to a desert and a big loud busy city, compared to the cool hisuian highlands. Ingo must be absolutely immobilized at his first heatwave. Brain cooked.

Would pump the AC up to freezing if it didn't increase their already high electric bill due to the joltiks siphoning.

Akari’s alola Vulpix and Froslass are the saviors of the first summer in Unova lol

Though, if you look at the map, while there is the great big desert to the immediate south of Nimbasa, it’s surrounded on all other sides by a great big forest and has plenty of rivers and water flowing through it.

And the anime provides a much more detailed look at Nimbasa as well regarding how big and flashy it really is.

So I would say that, for the most of the year, Nimbasa has pretty average weather for it’s seasons. But then every year there are always those two or three weeks at the height of summer that are just BRUTAL and everyone is harshly reminded that they live right next to a desert.

Also Nimbasa is confirmed to be the third most populated city in the pokemon world, so yeah, a huge change for them. It’s easier for Ingo of course, because he’s remembering so much with the more he sees and loves his bright weird home city. There are still moments where he gets confused and overwhelmed, but he always has someone, human or pokemon, by his side to help.

You would think Sneasler has the hardest time, but she honestly loves it here too. Yes there are humans everywhere, but there are also pokemon too. Due to her world wide fame and later position as gear stations official pokemon, she is widely respect and admired by the people instead of feared. And look at all these weird inhabited mountains she can climb!

Also? You know those stories of cats that have figured out public transit and will catch a ride to and from places? Lady Sneasler and plenty of her babies do that too. If she feels like exploring Unova she’ll ride the train to a new place, explore for a while, and then ride the train back home. So she’s not just living in Nimbasa all the time. The depot agents who see her get off or on at a stop always update Ingo on her whereabouts, so he always has an idea of where she’s wondered off to but he also trust her to get home safely.

Now Akari does have the hardest time adapting to living in a big bustling city. She’s never lived in anything like it before not even with what she can recall from her life prior to Hisui. She does love how beautiful it is, but the constant noise and people does become overwhelming at times. It’s so big to and she’s gotten lost exploring more then once. Emmet made sure to explain the Subway systems, both the region lines and the local city lines, so that Akari will always be able to find her way back home as long as she can get to a train. Knowing she can always find a way home really helped her, and there are days she joins Sneasler and her kids on their outings outisife the city to get a break from it all.

Cause that’s my favorite thing. They all live in Nimbasa, but through the power of trains they can travel all over the region whenever they need to get away from the city.

[pedropascalsx]

Courage - Dieter Bravo x F! Reader. (One -shot)

Summary: You've been Dieter Bravos PA for two years, and you've finally reached your breaking point. But can he convince you to stay?

Word Count: 4.9k

WARNINGS: The fic features withholding of pay cheques. Please do not continue if you feel this could trigger you. ANGST! Asshole! Dieter, Dom!Dieter, P in V sex (unprotected), Oral (Fem receiving), Slight Choking, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Angst! Sex and Cursing.

18+ only!!!! Minors pls do not read.

With equal parts fear and courage coursing through your veins, you walk up to your boss’s door and knock loudly.

Script for an upcoming mini-series he’d been offered the much sought-after lead role in - without auditioning for - tucked under your arm and a large cup of coffee in your free hand.

Today was the day you were officially quitting. And it was liberating and fucking terrifying. The door was opened by a half-naked woman you’d never seen before and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes and instead flashed her a warm smile, “Good morning, I take it Dieter is awake, yes?” The daggers she shot from her eyes made you chuckle internally; she screwed her nose up in disgust at you and briefly nodded her head in confirmation. “Great.”

He was laying on his sofa clearly nursing a hell of a hangover and groaning at the light spilling in from his glass doors. The woman from the door stood a few steps back watching you with the same disgust filled expression as before, whilst you walked over to Dieter.

You fought the urge to dump the hot coffee over him as the memory of your shared phone conversation you two had a mere twelve hours ago burned into your brain. Instead, you passed it to him wordlessly and placed the script on the coffee table in front of him.

He took a large sip of the hot beverage you provided him and sat upwards, the unnamed woman taking advantage of the space now behind him and squeezing herself in it and lowering his head back on to her bare chest. Staking a claim on a man who probably didn’t even remember or hell - even ask her name!

This time the chuckle that escapes your throat wasn’t silent, you laughed at the sight in front of you. “Okay then,” you said eyes on hers, before looking back down at your boss who had yet to say a single fucking word to you, “I’m meeting with an agency at 4. I’ve agreed to carry out my duties until they’ve assigned you a new personal assistant, I hate to ask but is there anything you’re wanting in the next one? Preferably something that’ll make you not treat this one with utter contempt, Dieter?”

You watch as his expression darkens, the lazy uncaring one instantly disappearing off of his face as his brow furrows in confusion and his eyes blacken with a mix of anger and pure perplexity. His eyes burn into yours for what feels like an eternity, but you scoff and turn on your heels, “At least try to get this one to get fully dressed before she exits your property, I am not drafting another bullshit statement on your behalf in regard to you pissing off your neighbours.”

The door slams behind you and you don’t have a care in the world, judging by the look on his face he didn’t remember the conversation from the previous night, or he thought you were bluffing, but you don’t care. You may be jobless, and you may have no idea what you’re going to do now, but at least you’re soon to be free from Dieter Fucking Bravo.

————

Arriving at the restaurant you feel more relaxed than you have in weeks. Looking forward to seeing Josh for your fourth date, a late lunch, before shooting off to find someone else to take over your soon to be over hellish nightmare.

Looking down at the blush midi sun dress you’re currently wearing makes you feel a little uneasy, you ordered it months ago and you’d still not technically paid for it. You’d saw it on someone at an event you’d accompanied Dieter on and fell in love, it was the same day that he’d agreed that you were due a pay rise and he’d promised a small bonus for all the work you had put in for him recently.

You did something you’d not done in a long time and splashed out a purchase via your credit card as a congratulatory gift for yourself. You felt like you’d deserved it and after all the bonus money would cover it… well it would have if you’d received it.

Seeing Josh enter the restaurant brings a smile back to your face, you give him a small wave and he grins back at you and then takes the seat in front of you.

“You look… wow!” he blurts out and your cheeks blush a bright pink.

“Oh, don’t… this is the dress,” you inform him, you’d called him immediately after getting off the phone with Dieter the night before and accidentally ranted and raved about everything that had gone on the past few months - including the story about your hastily bought treat yo’self dress, “Decided it would be a funny inside joke for myself to wear it today of all days… this is the first and only time I’m ever going to wear it.”

“How’d it go?” he asks sucking in his cheeks.

“He didn’t speak one word to me the whole three minutes I was in his house, so pretty fucking perfectly.” You say with a giggle.

Josh insisted on ordering you both a cheeky cocktail in celebration of your newfound courage, you’d decided you weren’t going to drink due to having an appointment to find your own replacement immediately after your meal, but you gave into temptation. “To pastures new!” he toasts, and you giggle as you clink your glass with his. You like Josh, he’s funny, cute and smart. Whilst you have to admit the lack of sexual chemistry so far, you can’t deny enjoying being in his company and his friendship. You were worried he’d be offended and not want to see you again when you shut down his sexual advances a few days earlier, but he was ever the gentleman and happy with your reasoning that it felt too soon.

Your date passed by quicker than you’d expected, and he gave you a cautious kiss on the cheek before making plans to call you later that evening.

You arrived at the office that housed a few local businesses including the agency you’d contacted about hiring an assistant to replace you from. You’d heard of it through a friend who herself had found an employer from and felt comfortable they’d be able to match Dieter with someone quick enough for you.

The amount of paperwork they had you fill in was exhausting, they’d asked a few times why you were finding your own replacement and he was not doing it himself - and you fed them some bullshit about him being swamped with table reads and wardrobe fittings and other miscellaneous time-consuming shit that seemed to make their enquiring minds content.

When they asked information about fair pay and staff treatment you bit your lip. Not wanting to screw yourself over by having them refusing point blank to send one of their clients into his messy world, so you kept your answers short and to the point, “Well, he’s human… good and bad days.”, “Name one Hollywood star that isn’t prone to the odd diva meltdown.” General bullshit that kept them satisfied and enough to stop you feeling completely guilty.

But at the same time, you wondered if you needed to feel guilty, maybe it was just you? Maybe the hate he clearly harboured for you wouldn’t be extended to his next assistant? Maybe he’d be so elated that he wouldn’t need to see you again that he’ll treat this one with the basic kindness and dignity they deserve.

You gave them the details they needed, and they assured you’d they’d be in touch within a few days with a few potential candidates for you to interview and you thanked everyone before making your way out of there and back to your car.

Dieter Bravo (36) Missed Calls.

Dieter Bravo (59) Text Messages.

You’d not even thought about looking at your phone since this morning, setting it to do not disturb and silent before your date with Josh. You rolled your eyes and groaned before peaking at the last text he had sent you.

Answer your fucking phone, this isn’t a fucking joke. What is wrong with you? Either call me back or come to my house. Now.

You groan out loud again before throwing your phone back into your bag without any care - you’ll call him when you get back to your apartment you decide before reversing out of the parking space.

A storm is brewing, you know it. You fully expected him to throw a full-scale tantrum when he came to realise that you weren’t bluffing and that you’d finally had enough. You’d worked for him for over 2 years. Every year getting thrown more bullshit and being made to cover up more drug fuelled scandals.

You’d lost count of how many times you’d sorted out a stay at a rehab centre for him to back out and not go or just discharge himself the very same day. Honestly, you genuinely feel for his struggles with addiction, you didn’t judge him for it, and you want nothing more to see him overcome his battles. In both your head and your heart, you’re rooting for him, and you always will regardless of his treatment of you.

You were 22 when you’d been offered to job, a client of a friend had recommended you and his agent had reached out to you personally.


The first time you’d met him he was neutral, he wished you a good morning and then sat in silence whilst his agent went through some of your expected duties. He had not so gracefully left out your other expected duties, like clearing up after his explosive drug binges, booking hookers and being his personal confidant when he was too drunk or high to realise what he was saying.

Occasionally you had to deal with a cruel unfiltered version of this man, usually when high or drunk but you took it in your stride, not allowing him to see the tears that would inevitably fall the moment you were out of his line of sight. You just accepted it. You’d been told stories about his time on a film set in London during the Covid-19 pandemic and the hell he’d lived through. He pretty much survived on cocaine and kit-kats and almost married a woman who worked at the hotel they’d been quarantining in. The lasting effects from that one job would seemingly haunt him forever. His best friend spilled details about the kindhearted woman he developed feelings for but ultimately fell out of love with when she all but arranged a wedding without being proposed to. Buying a dress and booking a venue whilst he fell deeper into a dependency on cocaine unaware of his future being mapped out for him.

But did any of this excuse the shit he had put you through? Absolutely fucking not.

Slipping the key inside your lock, you kicked off your shoes and threw yourself down on your coach. Sighing loudly and bringing your fists to your temples.

“Bad day?” a raspy voice grits out from the armchair on the other side of your living room.

You almost scream when you realise someone is in your apartment until your gaze meets his.

Dieter Bravo. Sat comfortably in your living room, nestled up in your armchair and clutching a glass of what you assume is straight vodka - the other alternative being water and seeing as unless it’s in a plastic bottle he won’t touch it, you rule that out.

“You scared the fucking shit out of me, Bravo! What’s fucking wrong with you?” you gasp out, hand clutching at your heaving chest.

“What’s wrong with you?” he counters make, venom spilling out within every word, “You fucking quit on me with no warning? Tell me you’re finding me someone else with no explanation?”

Why did you give him a key to your place in case of emergencies? WHY?!

“No expla-?! Are you fucking kidding me?” you rise to your feet and start pacing around in front of him, anger boiling up inside of you, “You haven’t paid me for five fucking months, Dieter! Five months! I all but begged you to tell me if something had happened with your money but nothing did! I tried to get to the bottom of why you had decided that the endless amounts of fucking hours I put in for you were seemingly worth nothing and it was all just a big game to you.”

He scoffs loudly and begins to laugh, “You have access to all my fucking accounts, baby, all you needed to do was login and pay yourself.”

“Don’t call me, baby,” you yelled back at him, “And I shouldn’t need to Dieter! You shouldn’t have stopped sending cheques. My initial thoughts was that you’d blown everything, and you were broke, I was genuinely concerned for you. Losing sleep over what I could do to help you and at the same time it was me who was the one drowning.”

Tears begin to roll down your face and you notice he’s standing now too, downing the clear liquid in the tumbler he has a vice like grip around, “You could have sent yourself the money. As I said you have the details.” He sounds almost nonchalant as he shrugs off your predicament refusing to make eye contact or acknowledge the state, you’re currently in.

“Two high interest credit cards and a skivvy loan.” You eventually mutter after standing in silence for God knows how long.

“What?”

“That’s what I’ve had to take out to keep a roof over my head and my lights switched on. I’m drowning in debt. I blew through my savings almost immediately because fuck, I didn’t have much to start out with and then I got desperate.” You feel your cheeks flush red as you reveal the state you’ve got your life into.

“Why would you quit your job if things are that bad?”

“Because my fucking asshole boss isn’t paying me!” You scream back at him.

The unexpected level of anger in your voice makes him gulp, you’d never ever shown any real sense of anger with him before. Yes, you’d gotten frustrated, called him some colourful words and even told him you despised him but there was never any real venom in your voice. Never anything to make him believe what you said was from a real place of anger before.

He knew he pushed your buttons, honestly, he’d had more sleepless nights fretting over the way he’d spoken to you than you’d ever believe. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

——-

There’s something about you that just makes him crazy. His agent had warned him that if he’d tried to fuck you or acted sexually suggestive to you in any way that he’d be without an agent immediately. And this was all before you’d even walked in the room.

The very first day he met you, you looked almost angelic. Your hair half up and half down, a pretty floral sundress hugging your curves and the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. The dulcet tone of your voice hit him like a tonne of bricks, you’d literally only said “Good morning,” to him and it was like he was hooked.

The day after meeting you he’d decided to keep you at arm’s length, he planned on being ambivalent with you. Nothing more, nothing less. But the kinder you were to him the more he wanted to touch you, to kiss you, to hold you and stars… he was aching to taste you.

He was in a spiral. The whole world knew it, and many revelled in the entertainment articles they’d read whenever he hit another low and everyone around him except you seemed to spur it on.

Offering him more cocaine, only agreeing to hang out if booze and drugs were on the table… literally! and many secretly recording his downfall for profit. There was no one he could trust… except you.

Every time things got too much, he’d call you and you’d inevitably come and pick up the pieces. Issue another statement or arrange for another large donation to some non-profit organisation to change up the stories being printed about him.

And he could feel your frustration throughout, he could feel the way you lost a little more hope for you every day and he could feel the way you’d fill with tension whenever he entered the room.

He hated what he’d made you. He’d made you hate being in a room with him, and now he was forced to pay the price. Ironic considering. And all he wanted to right now, was find a way to make it all up to you. But he was certain it was too late.

———

He removed his phone from his pocket and pulled up his banking app, he transferred you the money he had owed and an admittedly generous amount on top.

You heard the ping on your phone and immediately registered what he had done.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs quietly, sitting back down on the chair behind him, “I-uh- I have no excuses. You’re right. In a way it was a game, I wanted to see how long it would take for you to just… take it. Take it yourself. You never take anything for yourself, ever.”

“My livelihood isn’t a game, Dieter.”

“I know… fuck, baby, I know, I ‘m sorry.”

You follow suit and take a seat, feeling exhausted from your outburst and the wave of emotions flooding through you.

“Why’d you do it? Any of it? Why did you not just find yourself another assistant?” you ask with a slight shrug of your heavy shoulders.

You study his face, and watch as he bites his bottom lip, “Don’t want another assistant. Couldn’t imagine not seeing you every day. Fuck.”

“I don’t…” you end your own sentence never really sure where it was going in the begin with.

“I saw you with that guy the other night, you seemed happy. Relaxed. Didn’t even notice I was in the same bar as you.” He says with a low unconvincing laugh.

“Why’d you care?” you ask noting the quietness of your own voice.

“I told you before. You know why.”

Fuck. The confession. One he had made whilst more sober than you’d ever seen him, and it sent shivers down your spine. He’d found out that he was nominated for a second Oscar, already having won one previously he was over the moon. His agent had called to inform him whilst you were sitting on his couch going through his schedule for the week. A particularly busy week before the nomination he had two magazine cover shoots, an appearance a late-night show and was beginning rehearsals for his first ever SNL hosting gig.

You listened with a sense of pride as he took the call, bouncing on his tiptoes with glee as he was informed of his second nomination. The moment he’d hung up the phone, you stood up to shake his hand in congratulations, but he pulled you into the biggest hug. Wrapping his arms around you as tightly as he could whilst you mumbled a heartfelt congratulations to him. Then those three words slipped from his lips. I love you. And gosh, did you love him too despite everything. He felt you tense up in his arms and after a few seconds he completely let you go and mumbled something incoherent before pouring himself a large tumbler of whiskey.

Things had spiralled since then. And now you were here. At a crossroads.

He loves you. You love him. You both know that each other know. You think he knew you were in love with him before you did. You’d only realised it, when you saw him holding hands and making out with a random co-star and felt the earth shattering around you.

But you both suppressed your feelings and attempted to work together as normal. But nothing was ever normal when this man was involved.

Staring at your feet and trying to control your shaky breathes you didn’t hear him stand up, you didn’t hear him walk over or feel him take a seat next to you.

You didn’t realise until you felt his large calloused palm settle in between your shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry,” he says resting his chin on your shoulders, “I’m so sorry.”

“Dieter.”

“Please, let me apologise. I don’t deserve another second of your time, but I’m sorry. I fucked up. Fuck this is one of those times in which fuck somehow isn’t a strong enough word… And i’m just sorry. No excuses for any of the bullshit, i’m just so fucking sorry.” The stream of acid rain tumbling down his cheeks an unexpected sight.

You turn to face him and your hands cup his cheeks, you use your thumbs to wipe away the tears and before you can speak his mouth finds yours.

It’s not what you’re expecting from a kiss from Dieter Bravo. It’s soft, warm and inviting. You’ve seen him kiss people before usually with a intense need to get them into his bed and then out of it just as quickly. 
But you’ve never seen him kiss anyone like this before.

He takes his time, slowly exploring your mouth and tasting you with his tongue, trembling gently when yours brushes against his and you moan quietly into his lips.”

“Let me make it up to you,” he says keeping his lips against yours the entire time, his moustache tickling your lips with every word, “Want to make you feel so good.” And both his hands start moving up your thigh slowly.

“This doesn’t seem like the best way to deal with this,” you admit pressing your forehead against his, feeling your arms reach up to roam across the broadness of his shoulders.

“Need to show you how much you mean to me,” he says pulling you in for a passionate kiss, “I just want to taste you right now, feel the tension drain from your body baby.”

“Fuck,” you mumble and you can’t help but pull him forward as you lean back into your sofa, “Okay, but this doesn’t mean we aren’t talking more about this, Dieter, I swear. There’s more to be said.” You pepper a kiss on his plump lips between every word.

“I promise, baby.”

He starts to pepper kisses down your neck and across your collarbone, kissing you over the fabric of your dress, only beginning gently pull it up over your thighs when his lips meet your clothed navel.

“Tell me if you want me to stop, baby.”

He pulls his mouth from you and hikes your dress up above your belly button, dropping a few more lazy kisses to the now uncovered area before slowly pulling down your panties.

He kisses the soft curls covering your mound before slowly moving your hips apart, your eyes locked into his as he waists no time flickering his tongue over your bundle of nerves. You writhe underneath him at the expert way his tongue laps at your clip, and he groans into your core in approval every time you gasp out or moan his name. The added pleasure from the vibrations coming from his throat making your hips roll up into his face.

“Good girl, baby,” he soothes as your moans become more breathless and your hips unable to stop rocking into his mouth to find your release, “Doing so well for me.”

Your orgasm comes faster than you’re wanting, wishing you feel his mouth on your for as long as possible. But he continues tasting and murmuring praises directly into your core through your high and only stopping when the overstimulation proves to much and you need to push his head away.

“You somehow taste sweeter than I imagined.” He says mouth glistening from the thick coating of your arousal, he doesn’t attempt to clean it off as he drops a kiss to your mouth, allowing you to get a taste of yourself, “Can you taste how sweet you are, baby?” he says after breaking the kiss.

“Dieter, I need….” you mumble.

“Tell me what you need, baby, tell me,” he whispers into your neck letting his lips brush against your skin, “I’ll give you anything you need.”

“I need you. All of you.” you choke out breathlessly, chest still heaving from the orgasm his mouth given you moments ago.

“Baby, I need you to be specific here, bec-“

“Dieter, I need you to fuck me. Now. If you want to.”

You’ve never seen him move so fast, his hands tearing off his clothes quicker than you imagined possible. You take the opportunity to pull your desk off over you head and unhook your bra, tossing them on top of the clothes pile he had made seconds before.

His mouth dropping down to kiss the swell of your breast before moving up to suck your puckered nipple, the moans of pleasure he’s letting slip from his mouth just from tasting you here making you drip with arousal. He releases your nipple with a loud pop before moving across to repeat the actions on your other one, but this time snaking a hand down between your bodies to press two fingers to your clit.

You gasp as his rough fingers start to rub circles in to you pleasure nub still slightly tender from his mouth, “Dieter, please,” you grit out as you feel another wave of arousal flood your center, “Fuck me.”

He growls loudly into your breast before lightly rolling your nipple between his teeth and releasing.

“That’s the prettiest fucking thing, I’ve ever heard you say, baby,” he lines his cock up with your entrance and inches the tip in before finding your lips again, “Gonna take you apart nice and slowly.”

He inches himself inside you as slowly as he can, taking his time to stretch you open and bask in the way he can feel your walls flutter just as the feel of him. The gasps you let free into his mouth with every thrust he’s giving you making his cock twitch and the moment he’s fully filled you, you tighten so hard around his length he feels like he might just cum then and there.

“Fuck, move, Dieter,” you beg breathlessly, “Please.”

Another growl vibrates into your lips as he begins to rock his hips, his speed increasing as moans spill from your lips uncontrollably and you start to plead with him to go faster, wanting all the built up frustration to be fucked out of you you start to roll your hips to meet his, matching his rhythm as you sink your teeth into his broad shoulders.

“Fuck, baby… you wanna fuck, huh?” he grits out, “Don’t want me to go slow, no?”

“Want.. you to f-fuck me,” you stutter as he begins an unrelenting pace, fucking up into you harder and faster as your thighs tremble underneath him.

You dig your fingernails into the back of his neck, leaving half moons into his soft skin as he thrusts in and out of you, slamming across that sweet spot inside of you that’s making your eyes roll back into your head.

“Is this what you really needed huh, baby? Never taking shit for yourself, needing me to fuck you like you deserve to be fucked?” His words gritted out from behind his teeth as he tightens his grip on your hip, the other hand moving up to your neck, “Should have fucked you the first time I saw you, wearing that short little dress… waltzing in like a little fucking tease.”

He grips your neck with enough tightness to make you gasp, eyes burning into yours the entire time. “This okay?” he asks and you nod ferociously, “Fucking filthy, girl… Did he ever make you moan like this baby girl?“ The venom in his words as he bought up the person you’ve been seeing, makes you clench around him. The jealousy and rage a turn on, you attempt to respond but he picks up his already relentless speed and you cry out his name as you grip him so tight, that he’s unable to keep thrusting. Your walls holding him so tightly that his cock begins to pulse spectacularly inside of you, and it hits. A blinding white pleasure that makes you back arch, the pleasure centre in your brain going into overdrive and your pussy flood around his cock. “I got you baby, I’ve got you,” he soothes in your ear as you writhe and sob through as pleasure rips through you. Wave after wave of pleasure making your whole body convulse, you choke out his name one more time and it’s enough to bring him to completion. The feeling of his warmth coating your walls as he mumbles the softest praises into your ears.

“That was… fucking perfect, baby,” he exclaims as lifts you up to roll underneath you and let your sated body rest on his.

You immediately nuzzle your face into his neck as he wraps his strong arms around your naked waist.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to do it over and over and over,” you giggle into him, “But Dieter… I still fucking quit.”

The laughter rips through his chest and he kisses your scalp, “Eh, I was thinking I need to take a break anyway.”

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki- pt.2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of suicidal thoughts, fluff, insane behavior, nsfw, noncon! Dubcon!, murder, stalking, abusive behavior, yandere!Bakugou, cursing, blood, lowkey kinda slow burn (meaning the beginning is a little boring BUT IT GETS GOOD I SWEAR😭)

Ep. Warnings: Angst, hitting, cursing, stalking, kidnapping, murder

Summary: It’s been awhile since you’ve left him. Two months actually but it was two months too long. Katsuki was slowly going insane and I guess you could say he officially has because he’s officially snapped. You become his main target, his number one priority, his entire being even though you’re trying to leave him. But Katsuki won’t let you. You’re his..and in the words of Bakugou Katsuki..you always will be.

A/N: ....I made it a yandere story y’all. OH SHI-

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Chapter 1

Twitch, twitch, twitch. That’s all Katsuki’s body been doing. Either his eyes or his fingers, his body is uncomfortably moving. Shit doesn’t feel right for him. And he knows exactly why. You left him.

The first week was horrible. All Katsuki did was cry. He even kept his destroyed home in shambles because he couldn’t find the motivation to do anything. If it wasn’t for Kirishima, Katsuki would have starved himself to death. The second week was just as bad. Nothing but a crying baby being taken care of by his best friend.

The third week is when Katsuki become a drunkard. He made Kirishima and the boys of the Bakusquad constantly take him out whenever. As long as the place served alcohol, he would go. He would go and drink himself to sleep. While he was intoxicated he would cry about how he misses you and how he was a terrible husband. He always said you deserved better but he was too in love with you to let you go. The 4th week was pretty much the same.

After a whole month without you, Katsuki threw himself into depression. For the entirety of the second month, he locked himself within the walls of his home. Thankfully, it was now considered a home environment once again after his dear friends cleaned the place up for him. Katsuki stayed inside all day, drank his soul away every night, and sobbed constantly. Constantly regretting how he neglected you, how he mistreated you, and how he hurt you. He doesn’t even know how he even brought himself to do that. Even though he’s been alone for almost 2 months, he still had hope that you would come back. That things would go back to normal and he would be a better husband to you, just like he promised.

Katsuki felt himself going mad and slipping away, but what pulled the trigger was what Kirishima brought to him on the 6th week.

—

Flashback

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?”

Katsuki looked down at the papers in his hands. Kirishima had walked in with a nervous and sad look on his face when he gave Katsuki the papers you had the red head deliver. “Sorry man...”

Katsuki shook as he stared at the divorce papers with wide eyes. He saw you already signed it and all the paper needed was his signature. His face grew dark as something in his mind snapped. Katsuki turned to his friend and instructed him to get out of his home.

“What? Man are you alright?” Kirishima said. He walked to his best friend and when he reached a hand out for him, Katsuki pulled on his arm and pushed him out the door. He slammed it shut and locked it as he looked at the papers.

A scary smile grew on the man’s face. His eyes grew crazy as he laughed maniacally. Hysterically. As if what he held was the most hilarious thing in the world. His palms began to spark as he used his quirk to destroyed the papers. The quick blast made his hair floof around a bit and when it was over, a pile of ashes lay at his feet.

“She-....she thinks she can leave me?” Bakugou began to walk to the framed picture on the coffee table. He picked up the picture of you both on your last anniversary and ran his finger over the image of you. “Poor Princess....you can’t leave me. You need me. Just as much as I need you. I mean..hehe...look at what I mess I’ve been. I can only assume you must be worse. But it’s okay, love...I’ll find you soon enough..and I’ll help you feel better,” he walked to his bedroom and layed down on the soft mattress as he held the frame close to his chest as he stared sinisterly at the ceiling, “and we’ll never be apart again.”

—

The 7th week was when it began. Katsuki took some time off of work. He was gonna be too busy for hero work. He had something much more important to do. He had to bring you home.

Katsuki spent the 7th week looking for information on you. He was up 24/7 reading all he can, talking to as many people as he can, and doing all the digging he could until he found you. Unfortunately for him but luckily for you, he found nothing. It pissed him off. How could you have completely erased your existence? Did you just go into hiding or was he not searching hard enough.

This time, the luck switched. Katsuki was just walking to the store when he looked to the far side and saw you in a cab. He had to do a double take to make sure he wasn’t mistaken but after a good glance and taking a picture for confirmation, he knew it was you. His body almost betrayed him as he almost went in to run after you but luckily his brain stopped him. He had to think. Katsuki hid in an alleyway nearby as he watched you from the side. When the driver continued down the road, that’s when he began to follow you. He used his hero training and quirk to keep up with the car. He followed you for miles until the cab finally stopped at some hotel. He watched you walk in and decided this was far enough.

He knew where you were now. He could wait a little longer before snatching you up. If he did it now in broad daylight, chaos would break out. He had to wait for the perfect moment to get you back. He was okay with waiting. He knew where you’ve been staying, how to get there, and knew what time you got back from wherever that cab picked you up. And then it hit him. The cab.

Katsuki went back to look at the picture he took of you in the cab and checked the license plate. With this information, he went home to find where the vehicle was.

Katsuki busted the door open to his home and ran straight to his in-home office. He went to log onto his work laptop that he used for hero work. The laptop contained the tools and websites that would allow him to find the cab. He finally reached the site he was looking for and went back to the picture. There, he typed in the license plate number.

“よ 57-342” he whispered aloud. Finally, he located the vehicle and went to find it. Katsuki followed the location until he found the house where the driver stayed. He waited in hiding, hoping someone would come out and hoped that the someone would be the driver. He waited and waited until finally, after almost 2 hours of waiting, a man came out. Katsuki quickly pulled up the picture and made sure it was the same person who was driving you, and to his luck, it was.

He quickly ran to the driver before he could get into the cab and pulled him into a dark corner. He slammed the man up against the wall and pulled up a picture of you. “Listen! You dropped this girl off at a hotel, I need to know where you picked her up! Tell me! Now!”

“W-whoa!” The driver exclaimed as he took notice of Katsuki’s identity. “Y-you’re Dynamight!”

Katsuki sucked his teeth at the fact that this guy knew who he was but then again, he wasn’t surprised. He was the number 2 hero after all. “Yeah! I am! Now tell me where you picked up my wife you dog-faced loser!” He screamed.

“Y-you’re wife??” The man looked at the picture and recognized you and the name you gave him. “Oh! M-Miss Y/N! Yes! Uh-..uh- I- she- I- ..I picked her up from a gym!” The man exclaimed.

“What gym?! Tell me!!!” Bakugou shouted at the man.

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know if I can! She- she said she got divorced so how can I trust you’re her husband?!” The man shouted in fear.

“Are you calling me a liar?! I’m a fucking pro-hero! Why would I pull some bullshit like that! Tell me where my wife was! What?! Gym?!” Bakugou screamed once more. In fear, the man gave Katsuki the information he needed.

“Hosu Gym!” The man shook and Bakugou stared for a minute to scare the poor guy before dropping him to the ground. As he walked away, the man spoke up once more. “D-Dynamight, sir. I-If miss Y/N doesn’t want to see you..and you’re forcing information out of people..I’ll have to tell the authorities..sir.”

“You’re not gonna do a damn thing. You hear me?!” The pro screamed. Bakugou side eyed the man as he watched the driver get up from the ground.

“Sir. From the small conversation we had in the car, Miss Y/N said she was divorced-“

“We aren’t divorced!!” Bakugou said as he made a random explosion to intimidate the man. “We are still together, and she is still my wife, and none of this is any of your business!” Bakugou began to walk away but heard the driver grumble something under his breath that triggered something in his brain.

“I can see why she left a crazed man like you...” the driver mumbled. Katsuki quickly snapped his body to face the man and jumped on him. His burning hand found it’s way around the man’s neck and began to squeeze.

“The hell did you say?! You’re gonna wish you never said that you fucking fool, cuz now those are gonna be your last words!” Bakugou said before he activated an explosion and killed the man. Katsuki took deep breaths before realizing what he did and for some reason, he felt no remorse. And he knows why.

“That idiot should’ve known better than to talk about me and Y/N like that...s’his own fault he died.” Bakugou said before walking away from the gruesome scene. He acted like nothing happened as he made his way to Hosu Gym. He just needed to know what time your got there and when. Then, he could finally go home before continuing his plan for the next day.

—

The blonde decided to wait for some time before he went into the building. It was getting dark and so the gym would be closing soon. He waited and waited until finally, the place was empty. Empty except for the man who worked at the front desk.

Katsuki slipped in right before closing and hid himself in the locker room. He waited 10 minutes before going out and finding the one employee he saw. After exploring the area, Katsuki found the man sitting on a bench. He snuck up behind him, and pounced. He covered the man’s mouth as he tugged him into the back room. Once inside, The blonde threw the man in and locked the door to prevent anyone getting in or out.

“W-What is going on? D-Dynamight, what is happening?” The employee asked in fear. He assumed a threat was going on or some trouble was taking place outside of the gym. He had no idea the trouble was standing right in front of him.

“I need you to tell me when this lady came in.” Bakugou said and pulled up a picture of you. The man looked at the picture and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t recognize-“

“YOU WILL! This woman came in here today and I need to know what time! TELL ME!” Bakugou screamed as he lit sparks in his palm. The man shook in fear at the hero’s booming voice and began to look harder. After a minute, he finally spoke.

“I- I remember. She came in hours ago! Sometime around 12 to 2!” The man said in hopes the yelling would stop. It didn’t.

“ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! There’s a huge space in between! I need to know exactly what time she came in! Don’t you morons have a sign in?!” Bakugou screamed.

“We do! We do sir!” The man nodded his head in fear. Bakugou huffed before walking over to him and dragging him by his collar to seat him on the chair in front of the computer.

“Then get into your data base and FIND MY WIFE!” The blonde screamed. The worker nodded frantically before getting right into it. Bakugou watched his every move and the computer. He kept a sparkling hand right next to the man’s head to keep him intimidated as he worked. Eventually, Bakugou saw your profile picture on the screen when the man scrolled down. “Stop. Her. Check what time she came in.”

The man read the drafts and spoke. “1:30 p.m.”

Bakugou nodded before walking to the door and unlocking it. He turned to the trembling man and gave a quick warning with a sinister smile. “If I ever find out that you told anybody, even your own damn friends or family, about what happened tonight, I won’t hesitate to come back and kill you. Am I clear?”

The man gave a quick and jittery “y-yes sir!” As he watched the pro-hero leave the room. Once Bakugou was gone, the man let out a breath of relief and allowed the few tears he was holding back to fall. Bakugou Katsuki definitely struck fear into those of the lives he met.

With this simple information, Bakugou smirked as he walked out the gym doors. He knows where you live, what gym you go to, what day you go, and what time you arrive. You were always a very punctual person. You had a schedule and you followed it through and through. He completely trusted the fact that when he came back here next week, he would be sure to see you. All he had to do now was wait 7 days.

—

7 days have passed and Katsuki was waiting for your presence in the gym. After finding out you arrived at 1:30, he showed up almost an hour earlier at 12 just in case. He waited and waited for you to show. He was almost out of patience, but after seeing that it was only 1:00, he settled the slightest bit. It wasn’t until he took notice of a familiar figure at the desk.

The man Katsuki had threaten nights ago was shivering and shaking in his boots as he greeted people at the door. He was aware that the pro hero was in the building and after the incident of what went down that night, he was definitely scared for his life. Bakugou began to walk to the man and said man could feel a scary aura coming around. When he turned, he was greeted with the sight of a smirking Katsuki.

“Hey friend,” Bakugou said with his hands in his pockets.

The man jumped at the sound of his voice and his scary presence made his eyes teary. “H-Hello Dynamight.”

“Thought I’d just come by to warn you again. When Y/N walks through those doors, don’t you fucking dare try telling her about me or my presence here. Got that.....” Katsuki said looking down at the man’s name tag. “Hiro Itadori? ‘Cuz if you do, your body goes boom. Understand?”

“Y-Yes Sir!” Hiro said as he looked to the ground with wide eyes as he felt himself break into a cold sweat. Bakugou patted the man’s back, causing him to flinch but when the hero walked away right after, Hiro calmed down. Unfortunately, that only lasted for about a second before you walked in.

“Hello Hiro!” You joyfully said. Your voice reached the ears of your ex-husband. Or more so, your “supposed to be” ex-husband. His ears perked up and he smirked as he hid behind a corner wall, taking the view of you in.

“Y/N.” He whispered to himself. He smiled and a blush bloomed on his porcelain skin as he admired you from afar. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. If anything, your looks seemed to have only gotten better. He watched as the man nervously greeted you and allowed you to go through with your workout. Katsuki smirked as he knew the man gave no hint at him being there, and so he would be able to watch you in peace.

Katsuki wasn’t there to keep tabs on your workout and what exercises you did. He was there just to watch you. Of course, while doing so, he admired you, but he was there to gain selfish intel. He watched you from start to end. Once you finished he followed you to your next location. It was still early and so it was safe to assume you weren’t heading to bed yet. He followed you back to your hotel and waited in another area until you walked out again. Sure enough, you did.

For the rest of the day, Bakugou followed and stalked your every move. He watched where you work, where you spent your free time, he followed you to the new cafe you seemed to enjoy, and then he followed you back to your hotel. Instead of waiting in another area and watching from afar, Bakugou climbed the side of the building and watched you from your hotel balcony through the glass door. He payed attention to your every move and noted what time you went to bed. Satisfied with the day’s revelations, he went back to his own home.

Knowing this information, Katsuki was able to sleep a little more peacefully. For the next few weeks, Katsuki followed this procedure. He became a full time stalker, even going so far as to call out of work for some time to put his full attention in you. He watched you like a hawk. He took note of everywhere you went, where you ate, who you spoke to, and what you did. All of it became engraved into his brain.

Now, Katsuki stood at your balcony for the umpteenth time as he stared at your sleeping form. It was deep into the night and with the moonlight on his back, he found enough courage and craze to open the door. He walked in quietly and shut the door, blocking the chilly air from seeping in to awaken your unconscious state. He approached your bed and crouched down to meet your face.

“Still as perfect as ever,” he whispered as he removed a few strands of hair out of your face. His touch didn’t seem to startle you and Katsuki took it as your body naturally indulging in his familiar touch. He blushed at the feeling of your oh so soft skin as his fingertips grazed your pillowy cheeks. His hand finally cupped the side of your face as his thumb drew circles along your skin. Your head unconsciously nuzzled into his warmth like it used to and Katsuki couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t worry Teddy Bear...I’ll bring you home soon.”

With that, Katsuki leaned down and softly placed a kiss on your lips. This was the lightest kiss he ever bestowed upon you. The pressure and weight was similar to a feather and the blonde struggled to restrain himself once he came in contact. He craved more but his mind knew better. Reluctantly, he pulled away and removed his hand from your face. He walked away, back to the balcony to take his leave but not before turning to look back at you. “Real soon.”

—

You woke up to a sense of familiarity in your room. Although you were alone, you could’ve sworn there was this chilling presence. It was faint but it was there. Taking in a breath and looking around at your surroundings, you reluctantly got out of bed and got ready for the day.

You did the usual. Got ready, got dressed, had breakfast, and went about your day. You went to the market to picked up a few things and ended up staying much longer than you liked. You walked in during daylight and came out when the sun was setting. You sighed in disappointment.

“Guess I can skip the gym this one time. I might as well get back home, read a book or two..” you went on talking to yourself about your schedule. You walked with the groceries in hand as you enjoyed the scenery on your way back, however, even with the shining sun creating it’s golden hour with a beautiful purple sky, you couldn’t help but feel wary of the stillness in the wind.

—

‘Where the fuck is she?!’ Bakugou thought to himself. He waited at the gym all damn day. He waited and waited to see your beautiful face but you never showed. If he had known that you would’ve skipped out on the gym today he wouldn’t have came here and wasted his time. Today was supposed to be the day. The day you came home.

Shaking off his negative thoughts, Bakugou continued with his backup plan. Although it would hurt his soul to bring harm to his precious princess, he reminded himself that he was doing this for her. He’s been so broken for the past months, he could only imagine how destroyed you must be. Hurting you was his way of helping you.

And so, Bakugou made his way to your hotel, where he found himself standing infront of your glass door at your balcony. To his dismay, you weren’t there. He released a huff before climbing down and once again, began to wait. He waited and waited in hiding, constantly on the lookout for you. It’s hard to find you in the city when you don’t follow your daily schedule, but knowing where you currently resided to get your rest made his job much easier.

Finally, after some time, he heard the familiar and comforting sound of your humming voice as you sang a little song to yourself. Bakugou took the sight of you in and blushed at your beauty from afar. He allowed himself to soak in the sound of your pretty voice before making his move. “Sorry Princess.”

—

You finally made it to the hotel. After your long stroll, you couldn’t wait to get some rest. Except, the closer you got, the more tense you became. You could feel the suspenseful aura in the air and your pace soon slowed down. Eventually, you came to a stop as your nerves got the best of you.

“Hello?” You said in the wind. You looked around and saw nothing but the pitch black night illuminated by the street lights and stars.

“Is someone there?” You asked again, turning your head another direction. Nothing but leaves in the wind. You released a sigh and continued your walk but became startled due to the sound of squirrels fighting in the trees.

“Ah!” You screamed and dropped your bag. After taking notice of the two animals going at it, you chuckled to yourself and turned to pick up your bag, unfortunately being startled once again at the sight of shoes in front of you. “AH!”

You jumped back in fear and took a fighting stance before you settled and relax at the sight of your supposed ex-husband. “Bakugou..it’s just you.”

“Mm, nope.” Bakugou said as he bent down to pick up your bag and hand it to you. “It’s Katsuki.”

His words sent your eyes rolling as you took your bag back with a hesistant hand. Something seemed..off.

“Not anymore. Thanks for the help. Bye.” You attempted to walk on to your hotel entrance but his arm stopped you.

“What? That’s it? Thanks? Bye?” Bakugou asked while gently pushing your body back in front of him. “We should talk, Y/N.”

“There’s nothing to talk abou-“

“There is.” Bakugou said with a firm voice, grabbing your full attention. Seeing your doe eyes look at him with caution caused him to settle. Bakugou sighed through his nose and allowed his hands to rest on your waist. “I miss you, Y/N. I want you to come back home.”

You shook your head at the idea and scrunched your eyes as you tried to step out of his hold. “Bakugou..”

“Hear me out, okay? It won’t be like last time, Teddy Bear-“

“You don’t know that-“

“I do. Because I’m going to try harder for you and I’m going to hold onto you and I’m not gonna ruin us for a second time. I still love you Y/N. I always have and I always will.” Bakugou sweetly said. You looked at him with the same eyes of caution before you placed your hands over his, giving him a sign of hope.

“I’m sorry, Bakugou,” you said, pulling his hands off of your waist. “I sent divorce papers. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I don’t love you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.” Bakugou said with full confidence. Although you pulled his hands away from your waist, you still allowed him to keep a hold on your own hands.

“...I should.” You said looking down. With each word of denial, Bakugou took a step closer, invading your personal space. “You should get going-“

“No, Y/N-“

“Bakugou-“

“Baby. I know you still want me. I know you still love me and I know you’re excited that I’m back. I love you...and you love me. So just admit it.” He said, inches away from your face. You stared in his eyes with a look of longing...and a hint of love. He was right. You did still love him. But after the neglect and harm he’s brought you, you didn’t know if you did want to go back. You didn’t know.

Sensing your hesistation, Bakugou slowly moved in to close the gap between you two. His hands let go off yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His face inched closer to yours and when you didn’t stop him, he continued. Finally, he gently placed his lips upon your own and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel something again. His kisses always brought a comforting feeling of butterflies in your stomach and after a second of feeling his warm lips, you kissed him back. Your hands found way around his neck as you pulled him in deeper and you could feel Bakugou smile into the kiss. It was hot and passionate. You were out in the open but for a moment it felt like no one else in the world existed. You would’ve gotten lost in the kiss had it not been for you remembering the situation you were in with the man.

Reluctantly, you gently pushed Bakugou off of you, but he still managed to press his forehead to your own. “Katsuki...you should go home.”

“Not without you.” He softly said. You shook your head as you completely pushed him off of you and gathered your things.

“Please...just go.” You said and began to walk away but Bakugou held onto your arm to stop you from moving any further.

“I’m not leaving without you, Y/N. Come home.” He stated.

“Bakugou! Just leave!” You shouted as you turned to him. When you faced the blonde man, you were shocked to see a crazed smile decorating his face.

“Too bad. I’m not asking Y/N. I’m telling. You’re coming home with me. Tonight.” He said and you scoffed at him with slight fear.

“You’re crazy!” You said and tried to shake his hold off of you, but of course failed.

“About you? Yes.” He said as he pulled you in closer. You squirmed against his hold until he pressed you in his chest and kept you in his grasp. You continued to fight against him but he grabbed your face with one hand to force you to stop and look at him.

“Let me go!”

“Listen! You either come home with me the easy way..or my way.” He warned. You looked at him with fear laced all around your face as you watched his insane side surface. You began to squirm again and fight once more.

“I’m not going!” You spat. Bakugou just released a simple laugh before caressing the side of your face.

“Yes. You are.” With that, the gentle hand on the side of your face formed into a first as he swung and knocked you out. You dropped unconscious in his hold and Bakugou was quick to carry you princess style and walk away, abandoning your groceries on the sidewalk.

“Shoulda listened. Cant believe you forced me to hurt you like that, baby.” Bakugou spoke to your unconscious state as he walked back home through dead city streets. “Don’t worry though, I’ll take care of you once we make it back. And then, we’ll never be apart again. I promise.”

—

You awoke to chains being locked on your wrist that were tied against a headboard. You layed on a large mattress in a dark room with a dim light. As you looked around, you recognized the familiar place. The place you used to make love for hours with your ex-husband. The place where movie dates and cuddle sessions were a must. The place you locked yourself in before leaving your last relationship. Katsuki’s bedroom.

You tried to jump out of bed but the restraints pulled you back down. You tried to scream and only muffled sounds could be heard. Katsuki taped your mouth shut. You tried using your quirk but it didn’t work. You looked to your restraints and saw the cuffs he used to hold you were quirk restraining cuffs. With nothing else to do, you tossed and turned in the bed as you allowed the muffled sounds to be as loud as they could. Eventually, the ruckus you were making brought the attention of your captor. Katsuki Bakugou.

Hearing all the noise, Bakugou busted opened the door to be met with your frustrated and teary eyes. You glared at him as he smirked at your locked up state. He took the opportunity to walk up to you and caress your face.

“I’m so sorry I had to hit you baby,” he said leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead. “But you left me with no choice. All you had to do was come home on your own free will and I wouldn’t have had to do all that.”

You began to tremble with anger and fear as you stared up at the man. Your teary eyes challenged his insane rubies as he sat on the side of the bed.

“How does it feel to be back? Hm?” He asked, ripping off the tape. You groaned at the pain and grew sick as you saw Bakugou pervertedly lick his lips at the sound. You leaned back and huffed with heavy breath before answering him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Let me go!” You screamed. He only looked at you in confusion as another sinister smile took place on his lips.

“Why would I do that, Teddy Bear?” He asked, allowing his thumb to create sweet and soft circles on your cheek.

“I don’t want you anymore Katsuki! I don’t want to be with you!” Bakugou merely raised a brow at your words and continued to listen. “You burned me-“

*SMACK*

You looked at the man in front of you with fear and shock written on your face. Your cheek stung as your face now turned to the side but Bakugou quickly changed that by taking you by your chin to make you face him and wrapped a hand around your neck, chocking you. You gasped for air as Bakugou’s smirk became replaced with a frown and his brows became pointed.

“How dare you?! You’re asking what’s wrong with me but what the hell is wrong with you?! You left me, for months, Y/N. I was heartbroken. I was basically dead with you gone. I did you a fucking favor bringing you back. If I was so fucked, I can only imagine how horrible you must’ve been feeling. You’re lucky I came and save you. Saved us. And now, we can be happy again.” He explained.

“K-...Katsuki-..p-please!” You forced out, trying to beg for air.

“SHUT UP! I saved you, Y/N. So don’t even try to mention the little accident that happened so long ago, baby. Now you can forgive me. And don’t worry..I’m ready to listen to all the apologies you surely have for me...even if I have to choke them out of you.” He seethed with his hand tightening. Your eyes began to pop as the blood flow began to fill your face. Your eyes turned red as you struggled for air.

“I-...I-I’m..K-Katsuki! ...I’m sorry!” You shouted as best as you could. Luckily for you, the second you did, Bakugou’s hand lost its grip and simply rested on your neck. You choked and coughed as you relished in the sweet taste of oxygen. He smiled and leaned down to give your lips a sweet peck to shut you up and tapped your cheek before he walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned around to look at you and give you your official welcome back.

“I’m glad you’re home, baby. Can’t believe you really tried leaving. You’re mine, Y/N. And you always will be....don’t forget it.”

He slammed the door shut, walking away from the room with a smile. And you?

You cried.

A/N: Back by popular demand, we have part 2 to “What Have I Done.” How was it? In my opinion the beginning SUCKED! But I promise it’ll get better! The story will focus on Y/N and Bakugou’s new lives now so stay tuned and I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Tag list: @captainchrisstan @jazzylove @bakugous-trauma @konohahoee @whatdidshesayyy @chibiiichann @lover-of-helios @unicornlover25 @tamakisropebunny @iliketobullydeku @peacchfuz @fairybnha3 @ebiharachan @levimeko @5sos-wdw @naluciosa @anime-weeb-bnha @bakucumsackslut @asteria-obey-me

[chericarlisle]

You asked for Carlisle Cullen requests and I am here to deliver❤️ can I ask for a fic where the reader finally confesses to Carlisle they are in love with him? Preferably fluffy with some kisses 😌, I would also prefer the reader not be a doctor or nurse if possible! Thank you so much!

𝐌𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐞 || 𝐜.𝐜

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: carlisle cullen x human reader

(𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k

𝐚/𝐧: i hope you enjoy this! i tried to think of a way to get the two to meet, but have it still correlate! so the reader will be Alice’s friend :) thank you for requesting <3 please know that the reader is NOT a minor!!!

For the years that you had attended Forks High, you had grown close to a certain Cullen daughter, Alice. Her personality was that of a pink rose and its symbolism. She was more than one could want in a best friend, and between her amazing advice or sense of fashion, there was never a dull moment. 

Unlike a majority of the students, Alice was genuine and welcoming, causing the two of you to grow close as friends. It made you feel like high school wasn’t so bad after all.

As you talked more and more with Alice, you often wondered why the rest of her family was so reserved. They rarely interacted with any one else who didn’t share the last name ‘Cullen’. Alice, though, was the exception, having branched out to you.

 It seemed that being friends with Alice was something that was a package deal because on occasion, she’d bring along her boyfriend Jasper. You didn’t question their family dynamic as Alice had already explained in simplest terms who they were. It was a much better definition than what Jessica had told you and the rest at that table on the first day. Looking back, it was more petty gossip than it was useful information.

For the first summer, you didn’t see much of Alice and rather texted her much more. You’d invite her over, but it appeared that they were on a long family vacation that summer. It was then that you truly realized that you knew nothing about Alice, let alone the Cullens, aside from what you had been told at school. 

There was something that constantly affected Alice’s decision making, along with her siblings, but you didn’t yet know that factor, and you wouldn’t for a while. Instead, you let your mind consume the harsh option that Alice wasn’t exactly the person you thought she was. Maybe she really was just like the rest of the Forks High students. 

Fortunately, your fears were consoled that next school year.

After much consideration, Alice eventually invited you over to her house where you officially met the rest of the Cullens. Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper acted so much differently than they did at school in the way that they even acted at all. Normally, they would just go through the school day rarely interacting with any one or anything else but themselves. It made you curious as to why they weren’t like this at school. They seemed to be such lovely people so why would they be so monotonous for eight grueling hours of the day. 

You were able to see where they got those characterful values from. Well, more so who.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen, their adoptive father who looked too young to be a father at all and was so perfect that he must’ve been a hallucination. 

Since that moment three years ago, you’d gone over almost every other weekend to do whatever extravagant thing Alice had planned for you. She hadn’t had a real friend in so long that she wanted to make up for all the missed time. 

Over the course of time, the man, who you knew only as Dr. Cullen, had caught your eye. His compassionate mannerism and old fashioned style was something that just seemed to make you fall head over heels. At the mere sight of Dr. Cullen, the heat of your cheeks would make itself known and you wanted nothing more than to slap some sense into yourself. Whenever he spoke, you shamefully latched onto every word, his voice ever so comforting. The small smile resting on his lips whenever he spoke to you added even more charm and there was no hope left for you. This man made you swoon and you were so embarrassed over the fact that he was the adoptive father of your best friend. 

High school graduation arrived in no time and along with it a huge family secret. A family secret that wasn’t yours, but once again, relating to the Cullens. 

The family revealed it at a dinner, which was a rare occasion, considering that you hadn’t ever really seen them eat. You came over to their house like any other visit, except this time, the inviting smell of a freshly cooked dinner greeted you at the door. 

The lovely dinner and charming smiles were all just the calm before the storm. Playful conversation ceased and suddenly Carlisle was speaking on behalf of everyone at the table. In a matter of seconds, it went from ‘casual family dinner' to ‘game show questionnaire' that was borderline an interrogation with the lack of feedback you were receiving. None of the Cullens, not even Alice, would confirm or deny any inquiries that left your mouth, leaving you to your own judgment. It was almost like your speculation was crucial to ending the slew of questions. 

Eventually, you drew up the conclusion that they were vampires. You said this with such lighthearted intent that you were waiting for the big joke until you scanned the tables and saw their emotionless expressions.

All that you could really remember was falling from your dinner chair with Carlisle, who was sitting right beside you, catching your fall before you became close friends with the hardwood floor. 

Needless to say, it took a moment to process this information, but you still continued on with Alice and her family. They were still the same Cullens you had known since the beginning and a small sliver of their real life wasn’t going to change who they were to you.

A couple of months later, you were spending the night with Alice for the weekend. She wanted to go visit Seattle for the day and do some holiday shopping. You readily agreed, remembering that you had to get some gifts for your own family. Shopping with Alice was always an experience, but an entertaining time nonetheless.

You had gotten there Friday night as both you and Alice planned to leave the next morning. There was no point in leaving now as the stores had been closed for at least a couple of hours. 

Walking in the living room, you saw Emmett and Rosalie thoroughly invested in a comedy on tv. You had invited Rosalie to go shopping, but long hours with Alice in a store was not an activity for the less patient and she knew this. Edward was apparently missing from the scene, but Jasper, who was standing afar, greeted you and said that he was out with Bella. Jasper had finally loosened up around you, and after the family’s confession, you understood why he looked so uncomfortable all the time. The willpower these people had astonished you. 

Alice had disappeared after letting you in and it wasn’t until she returned with Dr. Cullen in tow, that you truly noticed she was gone. You bashfully greeted the doctor to which he returned with his signature smile that could make you melt. 

“I know this is bad timing, (y/n),” Alice walked to stand beside you, “But I have to go hunt, as do my siblings. You’ll stay here with Carlisle. He doesn’t need to go with us right now and we can't leave you alone.” By the end, the petite vampire was smirking and you jokingly scowled at her little plan. She knew of your silly crush on Carlisle and would relentlessly tease you about it, as a best friend would. 

Before you could even answer, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were out of the room without so much as a peep. You shook your head at Alice’s sneakiness, forgetting for a second that a certain someone was left with you.

“How about I make you some dinner, (y/n)?” 

The way he said your name was something you could never handle. It just rolled off his tongue like any other word would, but with the hint of his accent, it sounded so lovely.

“I don’t mean to be a nuisance. Dr. Cullen.” 

Already flustered with the whole situation, the last thing you wanted was to bother Dr. Cullen any more than you thought you’d already done. 

As if he could read minds, the blonde stopped in his tracks to face you. “Please, call me Carlisle and you are never an inconvenience, (y/n). Besides, I’ve already hunted so I’m more than happy to be here with you.” 

Carlisle, being kind as usual, shouldn’t have said such words because your brain was currently going into a frenzy as his thoughtfulness. If it was possible, your heart must’ve been beating faster than what would be considered healthy for someone actively working out. 

You weren’t able to find the words, but instead able to offer what you hoped was an endearing grin.

In the kitchen, Carlisle searched the desolate fridge in hopes of finding some food. The kitchen and its appliances were more of decor than they ever were useful. 

After a minute or two, Carlisle closed the freezer door of the fridge, a pack of steak in his hand. 

“It seems steak will have to do tonight.” 

You shot him a pleased look. “You can’t go wrong with steak.” Famous last words.

While you insisted on cooking your own food, Carlisle returned the same persistence and eventually you gave in. 

The two of you carried on a conversation while he cooked. Talking with him seemed so natural that for a moment, you weren’t nervous about talking to this man.

Carlisle plated the steak and brought it before you, an excited look painted on your face. He sat down beside you and eagerly waited to see how the steak turned out. At first, you felt a bit bad that he wasn’t going to eat anything, especially after all the trouble he had gone through.

“Carlisle, are you sure you’re fine? It just feels so wrong eating in front of you like this!” 

He chuckled, quickly placing his hand on your own to reassure you. “I’m fine, truly. I just hope it’s edible.” 

You grabbed the steak knife, jokingly rolling your eyes at his statement. Upon cutting into the steak, an unpleasant rush of cow blood came out revealing that the steak was far from even being rare. 

Immediately your plate was being scooped up and brought to the kitchen counter where you joined Carlisle. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, it’s been some time since I’ve cooked anything and it seems that I haven’t caught up with modern cooking principles.” Carlisle looked a bit sheepish at the moment and you couldn’t help the giggle that slipped from your lips. You weren't sure if it was the unintentional term of endearment or his adorable attempt at cooking. Either way, Carlisle was relieved to see that you weren’t upset, but rather enjoying this moment. 

You stepped up beside Carlisle at the stovetop, shoulders touching as you reached across for the seasonings. “Here, we should probably season the steak a bit and clean off the pan.” 

As you continued to do your own thing and guide Carlisle in cooking, he carefully took each word of your advice.

“See, you did everything right, Carlisle. It was just the heat and time that threw off the doneness of the steak, a bit.” Your words ended with a small twinkle as you turned to face the man who’d been so intently watching. He seemed to be so entranced at the moment… and by you. 

It was like time was frozen and everything moved in slow motion, something you’d only see in a cheesy movie scene, except you were living it. Suddenly, life sped up and Carlisle’s cold hand was cupping your face and bringing you in for a kiss. You were happy that this was how you’d “confess” your love to Carlisle because words weren’t exactly your strong spot given the circumstances.

You two stayed lip locked for the longest moment in time, just pure bliss. It seemed like the kiss would never end until the smell of burnt oil hit your nose. Carlisle could feel you smiling against his lips and you began to peep out a small laugh. 

“I think we overcooked this one a little too much.”

a/n: i’m sorry if this is cringe-worthy, i wrote this at 12:30 am. i swear it will get better lol i just need to stop writing at ungodly hours of the night--

[binniedeactivated]

whorehouse. || 💦

➥ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

➥ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬! 𝐚𝐮, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

➥ 𝐖/𝐂 |  4k

➥ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 | 𝐧𝐨, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞.

➥ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱! , 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞, 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤, 𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐠𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐨𝐲𝐬, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥!𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥!𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞, 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲.

multi-fandom ask requested by @light164star​ hope you enjoy this my love!

in any normal university a fraternity represents ambition, passion, and integrity amongst brotherhood. but things were different in your university.

the Sigma Chi (ΣΧ)’s were different. they stayed in this big gorgeous frat house across campus, they threw the best parties and had the best of everything. they had the best selection of everything on campus, even down to the best dining hall. they were very selective to who they admitted. well, judging by the guys you saw leave that building it seemed as if they only accepted the best of the best. the best looking guys, best athletes, the academic powerhouses, the all rounders. every guy on campus wished they were one of them and every girl wished they could be with one of them. but the Sigma Chi’s never dated anyone. that was their number one rule.

and lastly, the sigma chi was rich. not because it was full of a bunch of guys who were spoiled rotten by their parents. not because the university provided them with full ride scholarships. but because the sigma chi house wasn’t what everyone thought it was. of  course it was a house of brotherhood, but they had subscribers all across campus. including you. and the university officials had yet to know that. not that anyone would snitch anyway, they practically had everyone wrapped around their fingers. they even managed to wane off some of the security guards and professors from scoping out their territory, giving them hush money for their loyalty.

i know what you’re thinking. no -- the sigma chi’s aren’t a mafia. despite their ways they’re actually far from a mafia. they were a fraternity. they were a business. and one thing for certain, two things for sure, don’t you ever meddle in the business of the sigma chi’s. no one has ever came back from that little mistake. as far as you were concerned the victims were basically wiped off the face of the earth, complete lost of contact, even their social media accounts deleted and deactivated. no one knew what the sigma chi’s did to them but no one wanted to find out either.

anyway, you held your head low while walking towards the steps of the house. not everyone on campus knew about their little secret but that still didn’t keep you from being embarrassed about yours. you were a happy subscriber and you weren’t going to deny that. sometimes you wondered how your application even got accepted. but it did. you went into the little convenience store they held in the building, waiting for kim seungmin/kang taehyun/ ju haknyeon, either one of them were required to check you in. they worked at the house convenience store but little did anyone know the trio were the brains behind the whorehouse. they didn’t handle much subscribers themselves, but faithfully took care of admissions and payments. oh, and also check in’s. no one could get service or even have access to the whorehouse without going through them first.

the motion detector chimed indicating that they had a customer. you bit your lips looking around a bit, hoping no one walked in right after you. hoping they would think you’re just there to purchase snacks or something. with his sleeves rolled up from handling the store’s stock--coming from the back was kim seungmin. he approaches the back of the counter and does a little head tilt, indicating that you needed to show your identification. you reached your fingers into your wallet and plucked up your student identification card, sliding it on the counter. he reaches for it and opens an app on his smartphone, making sure you were a paying subscriber. lord knows they had enough people behind on payments yet still trying to receive service. even though you knew you were up to date on your payments you still gulped. seungmin never really showed much of any facial expression which scared you. just a sullen, hard expression that made everyone around him think he hated them. 

“you’re all set. sign this slip”.

he grabbed the small notepad full of paper slips he’d printed and specially designed himself, writing the date and his signature signifying that he approved your service. it was your job to sign the bottom line though confirming your consent to anything included in your service. you swiftly grabbed a pen and scribbled your signature.

“room 502. make sure you give them that or else you’ll have to leave”.

you nod and place the slip in your pocket, taking the elevator to the floor. you admit you were nervous as hell, this is how you were each visit. when you’re a subscriber you don’t know what type of service you can get. you’re just assigned to a random room and you’re promised a good orgasm-- several even--- by the time you leave. the way university was stressing you out these days that’s all you needed. your feet finally approach the door and you knock hesitantly. the door opens a bit, just enough to show his face and they grey and black silk robe he was wearing. it was choi yeonjun. fuck. you were scheduled with choi yeonjun today. there was no doubt in your mind that you’ll be fucking ruined.

“slip?”.

you fished it out of your pocket and showed him. he took it and nodded before crumbling it and tossing it in the nearby trash can. he opened the door further, you could see the dark room only illuminated by the deep red lights that lined the perimeter of the room. your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach at the sight of handcuffs, a pack of gummy worms and a vibrator sitting on the edge of the bed.

“come in”.

you nervously slipped through the crack of the door while he shuts it behind you. the room smelled like cherries, it always did for some reason. you stood there and swallowed. you could hear yeonjun faintly chuckling behind you, his hand brushing along your waist.

“you scared baby?”.

“y-yes”. you stammer. he kisses your cheek.

“you should be. take those panties off and get on all fours for me”.

“okay”. you stuttered once more doing as you were told. you came here enough to know that clothes always went on the clothing rack beside the door. fully naked you hesitantly crawl on the bed and remain on all fours just as instructed. you could hear the clashing metal of the handcuffs behind you as yeonjun undoes them and hooks them around both of your wrists and around the headboard. the cold metal ring clung painfully tight around your wrists and you gasp a little at how rough he was.  your back was now arched in the perfect bow and anything he wanted to do he could do it, your body was at his full disposal. you could feel his hand slide down your midsection and your breathing hitched. he removes it and lowers himself to the level of your face just to glare into your eyes. you stared into the abyss of his eyes in fear. he takes two fingers and rub them together, smearing the wetness he collected from you before slipping them in his mouth. he then slides it out.

“you’re not wet enough”.

and on that note he shifts to another side of the room and you heard the familiar sound of goo melt into the palm of his hand. you wince at how cold it was when he coated you with it, getting a good rub on your clit before slipping his fingers inside of you just to coat you that way. a subtle moan left your lips when he did so, unbeknownst to you that yeonjun had other plans when it came to your needy noises.

“none of that today,”. he says in response before picking up a pack of long heavy gummy worms. “that’s what these are for”. he ripped the pack open and grabbed a handful just to go over and shove between your lips. “I don’t want to hear any sounds from you today, you understand?”. you nod with the gummy treats in between your teeth. they were so thick you didn’t know how anyone could ever chew through them.

the buzzing noise of the vibrator rang behind you and your feet immediately grew cold. you couldn’t back out now. you paid for this. this is what you subscribed for. you had to take it.

yeonjun clutches your thighs and slides himself beneath you, face to face with your pussy that was practically begging for him at this point. you felt the smooth, thick grey vibrator slip past your slippery folds pushed deep inside you. in an instant you no longer knew how you were going to keep your legs in place this whole time. you started breathing hard gnawing on the gummies as hard as you possibly could. “shaking already baby? you’re going to have a hard time today”.

he steadily holds the toy, sinking it between your folds and pulling it back out slowly relishing the way your wetness coated it. moans awaited in your throat yet you forced them back down. yeonjun loved the way your pussy looked from this angle but most importantly he loved the way your clit looked. plump and glistening with lube. he softly hums and slides his tongue against it. you gasp but this time refusing to exhale.

“mmm”. he hums again and gives it another cat lick before pushing his face closer and coddling it between his lips. you decided to breathe, as shaky as it sounded at least you weren’t making any noises. but fuck you wanted to. the way he was twisting and moving the toy inside you, the way his wet tongue felt curling against your clit, you wanted to collapse. and he knew it.

he groans after pulling away from your folds with a thin spit string to follow but he couldn’t keep himself from going in for more. he ate you like a hungry tiger, each taste of you is like heaven in the coil of his tongue.  that’s what killed you the most. that’s what made your legs tremor the most. yeonjun didn’t eat pussy as if he wanted to eat pussy. he ate pussy as if he needed to eat it. and that made all the difference.

every lick sent electricity straight to his groin. the fact that you were shaking above him unable to do anything but breathe heavy and take whatever he was giving you turned him on. he thought your little lips were so soft, pretty and scrumptious. he slid his tongue around every crease and fold refusing to neglect a sector. he always had an unquenchable desire to please. your insides burned with agony. he told you that you weren’t allowed to make noise yet he ate you like this? you couldn’t take it. your breathing was already heavy and your legs were already on the verge of collapsing so if he didn’t stop within the next 5 seconds you’d be a moaning mess through the gummies in your mouth.

he fucks you with the toy a bit faster,  twisting it inside you while he flat tongued your clit prior to sucking it gently; hallowing his cheeks in the process. your eyes close and the jolts of pleasure made your tummy cave in. your heart rate soars and now your wrists were writhing desperately inside the cuffs. it felt so fucking good. god, it felt so good. your torso was on fire. his fingers dug into your innermost thigh while his tongue further explored you. he licks a particular spot that you weren’t quite fond of anyone licking, sending a bone shuddering moan through the air.

“ ffuckk! please!”.

yeonjun halts his movements at the sound of it. you mentally cursed at yourself. how could you be so stupid?

“what was that?”.

you swallowed. you agreed to keep silent. that was a bad choice. he slipped himself from underneath you and approached your face, grabbing your jaw roughly forcing his attention on him.  “answer me when I’m speaking to you”.

lord knows you wanted to. but he looked so incredibly scary like this your jaw trembled at the thought of even replying. he lets go of you forcing your head to drop back down in between your shoulders. “you don’t want to fucking listen right?”. you heard a barely audible chuckle but you knew he wasn’t chuckling because anything was humorous. “I got something for you”.

the sound of that made your heart drop. you didn’t know what the hell that meant. your mind couldn’t even grasp what it could possibly mean. all you knew was that you were handcuffed to this bed in this dark red room, your body in the position of complete freewill. after a couple of minutes more of drowning in the fear of your own thoughts the door behind you open and close. you heard not one set-- but other sets footsteps creak the floor. your eyes grew as wide as moons. little did you know though, this was all apart of their plan. yeonjun knew you wouldn’t be able to take what he was doing to you.

“since you don’t know how to shut up, I brought some friends who won’t mind doing it for you”.

squatting to your eye level was lee juyeon, another one of sigma chi’s most honorable members. he does this sly smirk before rubbing your cheek with his hand. “how you doing precious?”. your heart began to pound dangerously fast. sliding his hand through your hair was hwang hyunjin, on the other side of your face wearing the same smirk as juyeon. “damn you’ve got a pretty one jun”. he comments. if you weren’t bound to the headboard you’d run out of sheer nervousness. but you couldn’t.

juyeon grabbed your jaw and glares into your eyes steadily, almost as if he were searching for something. with him doing this you hadn’t even noticed that yeonjun and hyunjin disappeared behind you. “you have some pretty lips. you know that? show me how well you can suck my dick“.

he fiddles with the waistband of his briefs, giving you a gorgeous view of his chiseled body and you wanted to melt right then and there. however someone was groping your thighs underneath you and you realized yeonjun was back in the same position as before. and hyunjin was above him, his hands groping your ass and kneading it. he spills some lube into the palm of his hand and shoves two slendery, slippery fingers inside your ass without warning. you choked on your own spit and wince at the pain. he rubbed his clothed dick against you, biting his lips.

“have you ever done anal before baby?”.

you shudder. “nno i haven’t”.

he hums before scissoring his fingers inside you a bit more, stretching you out so his dick could fit perfectly. you’ll admit, you weren’t too keen on anal before hyunjin stuffed his dick inside you and filled you to the brim. yeonjun attaches his lips to your clit again, and juyeon rubs his dick against your lips forcing you to take him in whole. more than anything you didn’t know you’d be experiencing this. being ruined by three men instead of one.

you hummed against the shaft of juyeon’s dick at the feeling of yeonjun’s tongue licking your soft folds through and through, all the while hyunjin’s giving you soft thrusts from behind. the delicious mix of pleasure made you delirious. your tummy caved in and your thighs were trembling once again. and oh yeah, yeonjun got his wishes of you staying quiet. juyeon was filling your mouth so much a sound could barely be audible. juyeon slips his hands in your hair, jerking your head back just so he could see your mouth filled his precum. he grins.

“a subscriber of the whorehouse gets used like a whore. you like this shit don’t you?”.

hyunjin grips your waist harder and chuckles. “she can’t talk with her mouth full. she’s being a lady”.

juyeon smirks and glances down at you trying to suck him as far as you could possibly reach. “is that true? you’re trying to be polite?”.

yeonjun smirks and licks another stripe up your wet swollen clit before chiming in. “if so, shes at the wrong place. polite prissy princesses don’t get fucked and sucked this good”.

hyunjin slams a hand down on your ass, making it jiggle underneath his palm. “they sure don’t”. you groan against juyeon’s length feeling like you could pass out any second. he thrusted himself between your lips steadily loving the sloppy, messy sounds your mouth was making in the process.

“look at you...you suck dick and take it good. who taught you this?”. juyeon growls.

you softly whine, crying in response. numerous moans left your throat but it was a mystery on whether or not they’d actually be heard. it didn’t even matter though because all three of them was groaning loud enough to drown out the sound of yours. you felt like you were going to lose your damn mind being used like this. the pleasure of it all made your toes curl and body shiver. yeonjun’s wet lips were coated in nothing but you precum at this point and hyunjin speeds up the movements of his waist, snapping into you like he’d never get a chance to do it again. well, considering the system of the whorehouse he just might not. and he was making it evident.

“fuck, your pretty ass”. hyunjin groans while throwing his head back and biting his lips, slamming you back against his waist every chance he got. your ass was pretty like this, stemming down from your cinched waist it was plump and perfect from this angle. hyunjin thought he could watch it bounce against him all day if he could. you unintentionally pushed back on him leaving a hum of approval sputtering from him lips. “oh shit”. he grumbled.

“she’s fucking you while riding yeonjun’s face. shit, I like her”. juyeon licks his lips while holding your hair in up a makeshift ponytail. tears jerk from your eyes as he shoves his dick down your throat again before pulling it back out. you gagged enough to spit his precum back over his tip.

“I like her too”. hyunjin mentions, completely stopping his hips just to watch you desperately fuck yourself to an orgasm. a throaty groan became a murmur as your legs trembled and the familiar wave of electricity washed over your whole entire body. you didn’t know how much more you could take.

“she’s pulsating so hard around my tongue I think she’s about to cum”.

“she’s so cute look at her fucking herself. you gonna cream all over us baby?”. hyunjin groans.

your high pitched whine rang through the steamy atmosphere and as if your body listened to hyunjin words you did just that, your juices spilling down his thighs and waterfalls down yeonjun’s chin. hyunjin slips his fingers into the curve of your waist and fucks a bit more until your ass was filled with his cum, and the sticky contents of juyeons fluids were already slithering down your throat. your body spasmed and jerk so hard and yeonjun licks the aftershocks out of you before getting up and fucking your throat until he got a fix of his own. he grunts and roughly pulls your hair while he does so, letting his hot cum spill down your throat after he was finished. your limbs felt so weak. you wanted to just stay there and sleep. but unfortunately you had to walk back to your residence hall in this condition. it was fucking worth it though.

after you were freed from the handcuffs you could see the bruised rings on your wrist from them both. “put your clothes back on, go back to your dorm and take care of yourself baby”. yeonjun speaks just before they all vacated the room.