#i fear i'm obsessed with making these now
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Iām so obsessed with Roar of the fire. Itās already everything Iāve dreamt of from a fic, so thank you!! Now please excuse my rambling, but my brain is just running on only Roar of the fire.
Iām in love with just how obsessed Max is, and also obsessed with just how this engagement must look from the outside. He has destroyed so many kingdoms and people probably expected the same with Ferrari, but then the news comes out that he is engaged and that Ferrari is frankly thriving compared to other kingdoms that Max defeated. These people must be so annoyed.
And Charles, omg, almost every noblewoman or nobleman would probably be delighted to become queen/king instead of simply being a concubine, but he seems like it is a great burden.
Also for their wedding, would Charles wear white? Or another pale colour? Because after reading through your snippets here and chapter 1, it seems max enjoys Charlesā fire and passion, so in my head he would enjoy Charles in dark red colours. Something to symbolise the fire in Charles. But, Charles dressed in white or soft and pale colours, just being the picture of an angelic figure, of a soft wife who bends to his husband. I wonder which one Max would go most feral for??
Ahhh, Iām so excited!!! Canāt wait!!
thank you, love!!! beyond happy you're excited for this <3
yes, the realm is stunned at this new development, even his own council is. everyone is going to try to make sense of it, so the only conclusion that most of them can come to is that this has to be about the prophecy- that max believes in it and wants to secure power for his bloodline.
and yes! we will see this is the next chapter but charles is actually going to be even more distraught at the idea of being max's wife vs a concubine. it's basically his worst fear, he literally considered joining the church to avoid something like this. but now it's too late and max is going to own him completely.
for the dress question, Charles will be wearing red to symbolize Ferrari and his status as a war prize!! (history tidbit- white didn't become the de facto wedding dress color in the west until after Queen Victoria's wedding (sorry, i'm an annoying about history)) And yes, it will drive Max feral.
but don't worry, Max also gets to see Charles laid up in a bed full of white linens later that night, looking like a sweet, terrified little angel delivered to him on a cloud. all of his dreams come true š¤
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Phew, okay. Sorry in advance, this is gonna be a bit gossip-y. BUT. I'm reading your asks regarding Max not fearing Oscar, and just saw Charles apparently saying he hates Piastri ššgood for you babeš, then we have the rookies giving Lando heart eyes a few weeks ago. Also, Max just seemed so much more smiley post-quali with Lando, than you know who.
So I'm wondering, do we have like, evidence of the drivers on the grid blatantly disliking Oscar? Cause I know they like/love Lando, and that he gets along with pretty much everyone, but also he just seems like a very very lovable bloke, so that's no surprise. But do we have instances of the drivers being weird about Piastri?
Cause, I will be honest, at first when I joined I did not like his vibe. Like, first glance, first time hearing him, I was like yeah, no, not my cup of tea. Then I went okay...maybe he isn't that bad. Just a guy who wants to win. And then that went back to dislike very fast cause eh, there's unfortunately not much to like about him. Even if what he is is all PR, everytime it slips it's just not very likeable, is it.
Also, and this might sound weird, but this is just my theory. Whenever Lando and Oscar are put together for whatever content, I get the feeling that while there could be some genuine smiles and laughs, Lando is there to get the job done, but I think Oscar has a thing for him. And not in a weird romantic way, god no, but..idk how to explain it. There's something. Like, I don't think you can fake certain stares, and he looks at Lando like he is dying to have his approval? Or his attention? I feel like he knows he's shit compared to him, and he seems a bit obsessed, in a sad way. (Now I hope this doesn't come across as me being pro-piastri, cause not at all, fuck him, I just don't know how to put my thoughts into words, sorry..)
Do you ever wonder if things could have been different if it wasn't to this awful mistreatment?
No worries at all, you're good, and honestly? Youāre not wrong.
The thing is, drivers wonāt outright say āI donāt vibe with Oscar.ā Itās F1. That would become the headline. So they play it smart. You watch who hangs out outside the paddock, who jokes around, who posts what. Lando? He flies with Max (or did? Idk anymore), goes to dinner with Carlos, had dinner with Franco & his manager, plays paddle with George and Alex, texted Gabi to congratulate him (all things the other drivers have said about Lando). Oscar? Basically nowhere to be seen unless it's with Lando, who, by the way, literally called him a colleague/teammate. Not a friend.
So do the drivers dislike him? Canāt say for sure. But they definitely donāt choose to spend time with him.
Also, I feel you. I started off liking Oscar too (ugh, I know). First impression? Seemed driven. But it wears off fast once you notice how manufactured everything is. Down to his reactions on the radio. Everything about him screams āscripted for PR.ā And when it slips, itās not great.
That ālooks at Lando like he needs his approvalā thing? I see it. But I donāt think itās deep. I think itās desperation. He wants Landoās shine, not his friendship. Because Landoās just...Lando. No PR mask. Loved by fans, respected by drivers, and always himself. That eats Oscar alive, especially when heās had every advantage and still canāt get the same reaction.
As for the āwhat ifsā? Honestly, even without the sabotage, Lando wouldnāt be friends with him. Their values donāt align. Oscar surrounds himself with people who make it very clear who they are, and Landoās not going to sit at that table.
TLDR: Youāre not imagining the vibes. Theyāre real. And Oscarās biggest problem? He knows it too.
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VIKTOR + tumblr text posts
#arcane#arcaneedit#arcanedaily#userangelic#userfrantaglia#userchess#queerbuck#viktor arcane#viktor#flashing gif tw#*#shows#i fear i'm obsessed with making these now#slapping text posts on stuff in a somewhat humorous (debatable) way is good fun but beware
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#i fear I'm gonna be obsessed with making these now#sky high text posts#sky high headcanons#sky high 2005#sky high#will stronghold#layla williams#ethan sky high#warren peace#gwen greyson#royal pain#magenta sky high#zach sky high#text post meme
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artfight...
#hashtag headache#art#artists on tumblr#furry#sfw furry#furry art#my ocs#oc // tin#2025#starlingfawn's art#artfight prep#ref sheet#one more ref sheet and i'm done!! now i need to make extra artworks and maybe thumbnails#ahh#i don't know if i should make my last ref sheet or draw some of my ocs lmao. i don't have any art that isn't outdated#because redesigning all my ocs days before artfight is a good idea!!!#sorry for no art in a while i am burned out ..#the bg is inspired by the cover art for one of the plastic death singles. the cia i'm pretty sure#this oc is very gleach coded#i fear i might be entering a glass beach phase guys. last summer was the great radiohead summer of 2024 this year it might be#glass bwach summer 2025. or maybe something different. i'm currently making bets in my mind of what thing i will obsess over#this summer#i should mention that i've been listening to this band for over a year but i am obsessing with it just rn#guys listen to yoshi's island by glass beach#...#also!!! i'm still working on the requests there's a few that i have really awesome ideas for that i very badly want to draw#i'm just prioritizing artfight stuff...
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Arranged marriage au. First kiss between them. It starts of sweet and gentle and then 5 mins later they are *heavily* making out. It doesnāt really go further for now, bc Thena is still working through her fear of men I think, but yeah. Please make this so fluffy that I could use it as a pillow. I hope you enjoy your day, you are a wonderful writer and I love reading your work ā¤ļø
Thena liked coffee. Maybe he had always just assumed she preferred tea being a Brit and all. But Thena actually preferred to start her morning with a good amount of caffeine.
She did the whole thing, too--clasped the mug with both hands and sipped it gently still in her robe. It seemed to really bring her some peace to start the day that way. It was cute.
Gil lingered in the doorway leading out to the living room, which would put him in direct sight of the kitchen. He didn't want to disturb her morning routine yet. She didn't have any classes today, so she was probably enjoying the start to a day off for her. And she just looked so pretty, morning softness in her skin, bleary eyes, blonde hair all wavy around her shoulders.
"Hm," Thena sighed aloud after getting her first deep sip. She hadn't even emerged from her room for coffee in her first weeks living here. Either she had restrained herself or she secretly had a coffee maker in her room that he didn't know about. "Gil?"
Caught. He chuckled, coming out of his hiding place and ruffling his bed head. "Why do you look like that when you first wake up and I look like I just got out of the ring?"
Thena puffed through her nose at his joke. Even her sense of humour needed to be warmed up slowly, but she didn't tell him to shut up, either. "Sleep well?"
"Not bad," he acknowledged, although it wasn't a restful sleep and more sheer exhaustion. He looked down at his hands, making sure they weren't showing too much signs of use after his late work day yesterday. "You?"
"Hm," she purred, smiling into her coffee again. "Quite."
Gil accepted the brief answer. He moved around the kitchen island. "Any left for me?"
Thena moved out of the way of her precious coffee to allow him some.
"Thanks." He had been surprised initially, assuming she would prefer a coffee pod machine, maybe a fancy espresso machine that could make cappuccinos and lattes at home.
But Thena, being Thena, didn't know how to work them. She'd had a simple, old coffee maker at home, so that was all she wanted here, too. He at least sprang for the finest beans, but if it had more than four buttons, Thena would end up asking him how to use the damn thing anyway.
She still hadn't figured out the blender.
"Work?"
"Unfortunately," he chuckled as he poured and then immediately took a swig of the steaming hot liquid. "That an invitation to stay home?"
Thena feigned a shrug. "You do whatever you want, I'll be enjoying my day off. I would have thought as a crime boss if you wanted a day off you simply...could."
Unfortunately Gil thought of it as being the other way around. Crime waited for no man, and such. And most of all, half of what he really did was putting out fire after fire. Goons could handle administration, even turf wars. But the Boss handled emergencies.
"I wish, sweetheart," he sighed a little into his cup too. He looked over at her, leaning over the island, cradling her coffee like it was part of her dragon's hoard. "You enjoy--want me to bring back something for dinner?"
Thena visibly considered it. His eyes travelled down to her bare feet on the smooth tiles of the floor (with in-floor heating so she wouldn't get cold, of course). "That could be nice."
"Done," he nodded, finishing his cup. "Text me anything you're craving, or I'll just bring home something I know you like."
Thena said nothing, tilting her head at him with this funny grin on those lips of hers. She had no idea how alluring she looked as her hair slipping off her shoulder and swayed for a second. It found a home against the slope of her cleavage.
Gil looked down into his empty cup so as not to admire his wife's beauty a little too much.
"You like all this domesticity," Thena surmised, maybe even accused, grin and all. "Is that why you purchased a wife?"
He scowled; he didn't like it when she referred to their arrangement as a transaction. But she corrected, standing up to her full height and sliding closer to him against the edge of the counter.
"You know what I mean," she allowed.
But he had to admit, she had a point. He did like someone to come home to, and someone to see him off in the mornings like this was doubly nice. "I guess it's kind of nice to not just be me and the birds in the morning."
Thena laughed gently, but all he could see was the way her hair got a little caught against her earring. He reached out and she didn't move away, allowing him to loosen it for her. This particular lock joined its comrade resting against her shoulder.
He kissed her cheek first. It was affection she had been receptive to before, and he didn't want to push her too hard. But she turned her cheek toward him, maybe even leaned into it. Call him a romantic at heart, but there was something nice about kissing his wife in the morning.
"You'll-"
Thena turned her head as he leaned in again. He managed to avoid accidental contact, but they were completely nose to nose, eyes darting around each other's faces. Her lips were faintly pursed, held open mid-sentence.
Gil closed his eyes. Whatever was about to happen, it had to be up to Thena.
Mercifully, she leaned in first. Their lips pressed together in a brief and almost innocent way. It wasn't necessarily their first kiss, but it felt like it was. Gil moved his hands to her cheeks, tilting her head just so.
Thena moved closer to him, her hands finding a home on his chest. He slept in minimal clothing but he had mustered the effort to put a shirt on before coming downstairs. Her fingers pressed into the organic cotton fabric.
He pulled back, hovering closer to her lips. "Is this okay?"
He heard her swallow, and the idea of her having some butterflies charmed him. He peeked down between them, although her breasts obstructed some of the view. He saw her toes curl faintly and smiled.
"Hm."
Thena leaned in again. Their lips moved together more and more naturally, and she really wasn't a half bad kisser, all things considered. Their lips kept meeting like waves against a shore, and soon her hands were sliding up his shoulders to lock behind his neck.
His hands slid down to her waist, leaning forward. She was so soft, and she fit against him like he had sculpted her and wished her to life. And what a work of art she was.
Thena moaned.
It was soft and quiet, like the rest of their morning so far. But the cute, sexy little sound did something to him. It made him want more. He leaned in even more, pinning her between the counter and him. He put his hand against the edge so it wouldn't dig into her back, which arched naturally.
It brought her further away and yet she pulled him with her, just as eager to keep going. Their tongues met tentatively at first, but then more and more eagerly. Soon she was taking in breath sharply between each stroke of her tongue seeking his.
Gil groaned. It wasn't quite as melodic as hers. He sounded like a desperate man finally graced with the softness of touch, in his opinion. His brain shut out the rest of his day--and everything else around them for that matter. He was just a man trying to kiss his wife.
"Gil."
Fuck, if she knew what she did to him. Well, he didn't want her to know. But her breasts pushed against his chest, letting him feel how full and soft they were. Her knee bent against his and in reply his bent, landing between her legs until he realised it was the muscle of her inner thigh against it.
Thena pulled back, eyes wide. The softness of the slow morning had left her, her eyes sharp and her breathing heavy. Her skin had an enticing flush to it, even extending into her pillar of a neck. Her hands left him as if she had been too close to putting her hands on a hot pan. "S-Sorry... "
Gil swallowed down the desire raging inside of him. He moved carefully, extracting himself from her. This wasn't for the sake of a horned up old mob boss like him finally getting some ass. "No--no, don't be sorry. I'm sorry."
Thena's jaw bobbed but no sound came out. She was rooted to the spot, although something dawned on her and she darted her eyes away. Her robe had parted, but she tugged the hem of her nightdress down over those legs of hers.
Those legs of hers would be the death of him.
Gil pushed his mug away from the edge and turned. "I'll get ready for work. Think about what you want for dinner. Just text me if you wan anything."
He just barely peeked over his shoulder at her. She was still wrapping her head around what had just happened. He would find it cute if his brain weren't so aggressively consumed with what had just happened. He didn't want to be a man desperate and howling for his wife after one kiss, and yet here he was. But he was still looking forward to coming home to her later.
#Thenamesh Marriage Contract AU#thank you so much for the ask!!!!#I'm so glad you like this au#and also I am obsessed with the expression 'so fluffy I could use it as a pillow'#that is my specialty#it's what I wanna write it's what I wanna read#I hope you like it!#I like the bit you included about Thena's fear of men#because you're right she's been through a lot in her life and she's nowhere near ready for anything too heavy right now#she and Gil are still figuring out what they are#enemies to friends to lovers I'll die on that hill#kissing? check#making out? love it#Thena is there like holy shit when was the last time I kissed someone like that?#the answer is maybe never#she let instincts guide her#and then was mortified because in her mind#she's not supposed to develop feelings for Gil he's like...her boss or something#in Gil's mind he just doesn't want her to feel pressured to do anything#and also the man lives with an ethereal beauty he can only do so much#for the rest of the day he's spacing out at work thinking about making out like teenagers#and Thena never does text him because she's embarrassed#but he comes home with sushi and bibimbap and she falls further
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Sometimes, I know it looks like I'm not active, but I swear I amā it's called doing pages, and sending asks behind the scenes. I'm productive, I swear.
But also, another really good day. My French ID finally came in today, I collected it, signed my job offer. It's in their hands now, I'm going to Greece! Well, let's wait until I have my plane ticket, but I'm going to Greece!!!
#[ out of character. ] don't bend or water it down. don't try to make it logical. rather: follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ /breathes. ]#[ i also got other really nice and heavy serotonin news today after fearing the worst-- and that also made my day. ]#[ i just fear bad news /somewhere/ eventually but-- it's not here now or yet. so i'm riding the high. ]#[ when i return from dinner; time to do 2b's tags. and then i'm gonna see what i can do ic-wise left/right. ]#[ /breathes deeply again. ]
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i fear everyone needs to know i'm a big nerd- bc oh my god- the new doctor who episodes are sosoosos good- the way we met a new god- and they brought the mimic back is just!!! I'M SO EXCITED- i need to catch up on the past couple of eras- but- seeing the newest episodes has me !!!!!
#i fear this is the one interest of mine that i have no one to talk to about it- so i must post it here- i'll ramble more below#(ik one of my irl friend's parent(s) is (are)- but- um that's a little awkward)#so i thought i'd talk about this here- just get it out of my system bc i've just been !!!! literally i'm so happy and excited for what has#come about- like wdym we got true rubber hose animation!? and the mimic ?!? i'm so ebhebhbhabh#(i fear i also don't talk about my several other interests to anyone- but like rn- dw is a pressing issue bc i'm like this: bhebhebhebha#over it)- like lux?!?!#literally what a crazy little guy- i love him sm- was he ugly when he became 3d- yes but that's part of what makes him cute!!#i'm adoring this newest season and i can't wait to see what is gonna come out of it!!#doctor who rambles#(if you ever are curious about my several other interests i'm willing to reveal them- but i just keep them quiet bc i feel like i don't kno#enough about any of my other interests- even if i've liked them for a long time- the only thing interests i've been confident is/has always#been (prolly always will be) music- so that's why most will prolly never know i'm obsessed with sth outside of that)#anyways back to doc who- i had always heard about it on tumblr- but it was two yrs ago where i started ?? āoh this is really goodā#and fell off the deep end- and now happily enjoy it whenever i get a chance- like now!!#god i love this silly sad show#kate rambles
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Mrs. and Mr. Emma Frost!
(Reference under the cut)

#marvel#emmatony#emma frost#tony stark#iron man#art#digital#fanart#comics#regular#final#colour#i actually used a cropped version of the photo as ref and now i'm mad bc her arm makes so much more sense#anyway i'm now 3/3 on fanart of tony starks and their canon spouses! congrats to tony tony and tasha on the good taste!#no but fr i'm so obsessed with them#EDIT: i thought it was looking washed out bc i was on desktop and the monitors are different but it turns out i'd forgotten a layer off š¤”#it's fixed now but a bunch of people already reblogged it (thank you!!!) so i guess i'll die#(also extra special thank you to the person who complimented emma's dress in the tags - it looking tacky was literally my biggest fear š)
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š» (maybe something you haven't really had a chance to bring up here, but want to talk about regardless?)
nah, sometimes I feel like a NPC who has exhausted the whole conversation tree lol. I don't know what to say anymore unless prompted.
I guess I've been thinking about how much you can glimpse about someone from their art, especially writing
I know it's not a 1:1 thing, it's not a "if you like writing whump you're a violent person IRL" situation lmao. But I've been thinking about how I'm afraid my writing is growing stale - maybe not in style, at least I hope not, but how I get obsessed over a few concepts and I keep recyclying them because I love thinking about them and elaborating them, even though that makes my writing even more niche
so it's like. why do i like it? does it say anything about me? or it's just not that deep and has the same value as liking chocolate ice cream?
Maybe it's just discourse that makes me a bit nervous about being judged. And I never even went full unhinged on main :^)
#yes this is about my latest wip which infuriatingly is shaping up to be grip: hecula edition#something about the consequences of past trauma catching up with you makes me go feral. it always has.#hector is fascinating to me because part of his story is pretty much his past mistakes biting him in the ass lol#so what if i put him through the horrors and made him pay afterwards. and again. and again.#but i'm afraid to be boring :(#sometimes i wonder if anyone ever thought 'wow beev has a nice style it's a shame she wastes it on things no one cares about' lol#(admittedly this is already arrogant of me but hey i can daydream)#i'm only *now* starting to grow over the fear of being boring about my blorbos because other people obsess over one character and it's fine#also since you're here: i sent you an ask about julia some time ago!#i would express my thoughts here again... but i forgor what i said š
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Hmhm~
It finally happened. I finally have a conventionally attractive anime(esque) boy that I can fawn over.


#fields of mistria#i don't know if i've talked about this#but i'm not generally attracted to anime style characters#they just don't do much for me most of the time. (and there's a difference between characters I like and characters i fawn over.)#but this guy right here is hitting almost all of my checkboxes#pink haired boy? check#pink haired boy with dark skin? bonus points#he's got something he's nerdy about? (digging in the dirt and D&D) check.#i can feed him snacks? check.#the only thing i don't really like about him are his outfits#he's a noble so his outfits are very princely which just isn't my thing#i'd like to see him in more casual/modern clothes#otherwise i can see myself getting really obsessed with him. maybe even 'make a doll' levels of obsessed#oh. speaking of this game. it's my first farm sim ever. it's early access but i like it so far#however it is what i feared a farm sim would be:#something that causes me anxiety because i'm trying to do so much at once in a time limit#from what i can tell this game is very unpunishing compared to other farm sims so i should take it easy#but there's a self-imposed pressure that's hard to shake#like sometimes it feels like i can't to the thing i actually want to do because something else takes priority#however since i've mostly done all the things that early access has to offer#that pressure has been alleviated somewhat. so now that i'm taking things at a slower pace i feel like things are more enjoyable#and i can focus on breeding all the pink animals~
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Maybe it's just because my DM once asked me (as a joking threat) where Wyn's brother was buried, but I keep having this terrible suspicion now that we're finally heading towards our dinner date with the Countess that she might have sent someone to fetch his remains. Like, we know for a fact that at least one of the Viscountesses is able to reanimate the dead. Strahd has made it known that she's at least somewhat aware of Wyn's history. And Wyn has outright said that one of her big fears is dying in Barovia where not only would she be unable to rest, but she wouldn't even be able to be with the people she cares about in that unrest.
What a kind gesture from the Countess, then, to bring one of them here in order to assuage that fear?
#hush frenchy#i mean admittedly this would require strahd to know a LOT about wyn's situation#and more importantly atticus's situation#because his fear of death followed by his obsession with it is what would really make it a gut punch for wyn#if she showed up to castle ravenloft to find her brother alive again (his nightmare) and now#trapped in Barovia with her#that would be one of the worst things that the Countess could do#by all rights i have no basis for this worry#its just a thought that won't leave me alone#so I'm putting it down here in case I'm right later and i can have it for posterity LMAO#as a player i would go crazy for this btw. like this would fuck with wyn beyond understanding but /I/ would be thrilled#oc crap#the wyn tag
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3 and 11! (I share my Itachi thoughts and you share yours like we're in a socratic seminar)
3. were naruto's intentions with sasuke selfish?
HM. I think it depends on the ways in which you interpret... being selfish. In some ways, I think so. I think Naruto is very possessive about 'his' people, and because Sasuke is one of them that can supersede Sasuke's own volition because Naruto is nothing if not a little dense and also stubbornness condensed into human shape.
I think there's certainly something to be said about quite literally fighting someone to try to bring them 'home' against their will, but I also don't think that's unique or special to Naruto (as it's moreso something to be said about Shinobi as a whole), and it's also just to do with the genre itself.
But also... I don't think 'selfish' is the right word. He's a kid doing what he thinks is right against another kid who's doing what he thinks is right, and both of them are selfish, and both of them are also just kids.
Is trying to help someone against their will selfish? Maybe. Is caring about someone against their will selfish? Maybe. Or maybe it's just human nature. Who knows!
11. is Itachi a martyr, a victim, or a perpetrator?
I'm happy to get to answer this one 'cause I always have thoughts on Itachi! Ultimately... Multiple? All?
I don't think it can be argued that Itachi isn't a perpetrator. No matter his intentions, or how you view his story, what he does is incredible and unnecessary violence. That's just... how it is. Doesn't mean there isn't more to it, but that can't be denied.
All the same, he was absolutely a victim in my eyes. I honestly think no matter how you cut it "being convinced your only option is to kill everyone you care about (sans brother)" is uh. Fucked. Especially when you're a kid. I just really don't think there's a way around that, especially when we have lots of evidence of how manipulative DanzÅ is. I truly think he was doing what he thought was right.
However. That doesn't mean he's not Really Fucking Wrong. For everything. All the time. And that doesn't absolve him of anything. Just because you don't see any other way out doesn't mean there isn't. I think there can be a difference between being wrong and being entirely to blame, especially When You're Twelve And Brainwashed.
Of course... there's also a matter of growth. Personally I think Itachi just went I Do Not See about everything once he left Konoha because he quite literally couldn't take the fact that what he'd done was for nothing. And so he just dug his heels in and decided not to reflect for even a moment.
And uh. Growing is really what makes you something other than a perpetrator. And he refused.
#thank you for asking!!#i haven't read your post yet 'cause i didn't wanna be influenced first!! but now i go read it :D#i hope these make sense. i'm obsessed with the nuance of these things but i fear sometimes it just makes it hard to decode lmao#anyways. itachi the complex bastard you are#type: mail#fandom: naruto#naruto#naruto shippuden#itachi uchiha#uchiha itachi#itachi naruto#itachi#itachi and sasuke#uchiha#uchiha sasuke#uzumaki naruto#naruto uzumaki
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Me: Talks about the significance and intimacy (not automatically romantic, folks, but also there's an inherent romanticism) of hands, and touch and who you let into that space of comfort. Pinterest: Did you say hands? Here, we've adjusted your home feed you so that you. cannot. possibly. escape. them. you're. welcome. Me: I just wantedā what did I want, again?
... Did I end up rambling about anything but hands in my tags? Yes. Welcome to me, this is what you sign up for. Not my portrayal, not my writing, my tag rambles.
#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ i literally don't remember what i went on here for. ]#[ i thought it was an icon but it was not. ]#[ instead i'm now thinking of the importance of her gloves. ]#[ and how they're a barrier between her and humanity. or everything inherently human; more so. ]#[ they're an aesthetic. yes. of course-- but it's more than that. in characters made by hoyo? everything always has 5 more layers. ]#[ at the very least. ]#[ ugh. i wish i could organize my thoughts and talk about the 'versions' of rather-- layers of kafka herself. ]#[ without it being 24 paragraphs long. ]#[ it's just gotten so complicated because you see her presenting herself in such way for so long. ]#[ voice. attitude. indifference. playfulness. and all of those remain except they falter more when she's around two individuals. ]#[ i can't even include sw and elio in this yet. because while kafka seemed to lean a little towards her more normal voice... ]#[ in the pier point dialogue with sw; it was only sometimes. it was so inconsistent. ]#[ same with sam. granted there's only one exchange between them so far. ]#[ but i digress-- then i get her story quest and in it she softens not even a little. but decently enough. ]#[ is /that/ the pretense? no you don't fake that. you don't fake how she says '...you're not leaving?' that delivery is vocal perfection. ]#[ but /that/ plays so well into all these other very human elements that she has. ]#[ i swear-- part of me truly believes she's already /on/ the path of 'learning' to feel a semblance of what fear is. or better yet... ]#[ what it /stems/ from. ]#[ because we say 'she has no concept of fear' but what does that MEAN. does that mean across the board? ]#[ concern stems from fear. you need /care/ and investment to feel fear. she /shows/ concern actively. she risks a lot to-- ]#[ be concerned about blade. and yes; she lacks the fear of them getting caught. but she's concerned for him. ]#[ and she's also practical and analytical; she knows if they get caught-- blade worsens. ]#[ and while it also endangers the 'future' a bit; she harps on blade. she also confides in the MC about her concern. ]#[ i just. ]#[ this is so much more complicated than i thought it'd be. ]#[ and also this whole concept of what humans fall into when they lack fear. how they become metaphorical 'demons'... ]#[ that pursue pleasure and thrill. but she became a /hunter/ of them. and yet she shows a lesser shade of it herself. ]#[ i just. think she's so inherently and stupidly interesting. HI GUYS. HANDS. i totally went on a tangent. ]#[ ... not about hands. ]
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Can't sleep because i was yet again too weak not to go through the certain tag on my tumblr. Ah i feel myself slipping.... I need someone or something to get me back on track again š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ
#I fear the obsession to be back but I'm just too weak#And this also makes me overthink my sexuality so much too#Ugh#Anyway#I'm gonna try to nap now hopefully i will#personal
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the horrors persist but so do i
i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and
#byrd chirps#me when I'm actively experiencing The Horrors but i spent my entire childhood so anxious that i am now incapable of worrying about myself#i genuinely do not know if that's a good thing or not#i just spent like 15 years crying myself to sleep due to paranoia and anxiety#and then i just realized one day that such is the pattern of life: shit happens and there's not really much i can do about it#and even if there is obsessing and ruminating just makes things worse#so now it takes an active psychotic episode for me to become concerned about anything#cause in my mind it's like. well either things are going to be okay eventually or I'm going to die#no sense in crying about it when I've still got a chance to make it out of this and into an upswing#i mean i very much do cry sometimes but it's almost never out of fear it's just owch oof my bones why am i still suffering#can the universe either lend me a hand or take me out back to be shot like a toothless dog already? lmao#I don't know if i have no sense of self preservation whatsoever or if this is my method of self preservation#could be both! who knows lol
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