#i dunno how many times it been but my heads hurtin but at least we gawt sum food jus now. shawarma :3c

[gurorori]

sobs. how do we stawp switchin i swear no one can stay frontin anymor n im Back here sum reason so hai.

[queen-scribbles]

Shepherd’s Honor

This oneshot brought to you by the mental image of Trouble carrying Trick piggyback that wouldn’t go away. :D Not that I tried all that hard.

----

Patrolling Haven was boring. Usually. Trick couldn’t say she cared much for how today chose to make itself an exception to that rule.

Namely the sharp, familiar pain that spiked through her right shin. It had her bracing one hand against a nearby wall for support even as her gaze tipped skyward.

Trouble must have heard her harsh breath in, because he stopped and swung around to look at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Trick said, not finding what she’d expected in her scan of the pale blue sky. She pushed away from the wall and fell in step next to him again, but only made it a few paces before a follow-up ache cramped her leg and made her flinch. “Okay, maybe something...”

Trouble shot her a look caught somewhere between confused and concerned.  “What?”

“Well, first off, it’s gonna storm later,” she replied, leaning against his shoulder for support as she tried to shake out the cramping muscles.

That made him frown up at the cloudless sky. “How can you tell?”

“I’m magic,” Trick deadpanned, cautiously setting weight back on that leg.

Trouble snorted. “Shit, I know that. Seriously, Trick, how can you tell? An’ are you alright?”

“Yes, to the second,” she assured him when her leg held weight, “and short answer for the first is I broke my leg real bad when I was younger an’ now it aches when rain’s comin’.”

His nose wrinkled. “That’s... bad. But also kinda cool.”

She laughed. “Tell me about it; all in lookin’ for the silver lining. I don’t like that my leg hurts, but it really comes in handy to have a warning about that kinda thing when you’re debatin’ if you should move on from a town or stay put one more night.”

“I’ll bet.” He cocked his head. “You okay to keep going?”

Trick nodded. “Kinda hafta be, don’t I? We’re only halfway done.”

Trouble rolled his eyes. “Like I’d make you keep walkin’ on that leg if it was hurtin’ you that bad.”

“Sweet of you,” Trick laughed, flipping her braid back over her shoulder. “But it’s fine for now. I’ll let you know if that changes.”

He grinned and nudged her shoulder. “Promise?”

“Shepherd’s honor,” she grinned back. “I promise.”

They made it another quarter of the way before it changed. Not coincidentally, that was when the first dark storm clouds appeared on the horizon. Trouble noticed those two things in the opposite order Trick did; saw the clouds and turned to look at her.

She was limping, she knew, just noticeably, and flashed a sheepish smile. “It doesn’t hurt. Not that bad. Only thing that might be a problem is stairs.” The words had barely left her mouth  when they reached the first (very long) flight of stairs back down to Ashtown and the Shepherd compound. “This just isn’t my day, is it?” she muttered wryly, and kicked a pebble off the top step.

Trouble scratched the back of his neck. “Want me to carry you?”

“What, like piggyback?” Trick snarked, touched by the offer but unsure how well it would work.

He shrugged. “’Less you wanna bang your head against the wall every few steps, that’s prob’ly the best way, dontcha think?”

“Yeah, but...”

He winked at her. “C’mon, Trick, you can’t be that heavy.”

Not for you, at least, she thought dryly. “It’s not that! I just know how fast carryin’ weight--any weight--can tire you out on stairs.”

Another shrug. “Better that than makin’ you walk on it.” Trouble grinned. “I’m not gonna drop you.”

Trick laughed. “Promise?”

His grin widened. “Shepherd’s honor.”

She only hesitated a couple seconds more. “Oh, fine.” It would be better than fumbling down on her own, no matter the loss of dignity. And they were pretty close in height, it was easy enough to wrap her arms around his neck and boost herself up. Trouble jokingly staggered sideways as he settled his grip under her legs.

“Muti,” Trick growled through a laugh as she freed one arm to punch his shoulder.

“Just teasin’,” Trouble promised with another grin.

“I know,” she said, resting her chin atop his head. His hair smelled like sun and charch and she smiled at the familiarity. “I’m good when you are.”

“Right.” He shifted ever so slightly so his hands were closer to the backs of her knees, and started down the steps.

It was trickier than either anticipated to keep their balance, but they managed to get to the bottom without killing themselves. There were two or three more similar flights to go, but Trick insisted on walking in between so Trouble could have a break. “It doesn’t hurt that much,” she promised. “More like a really strong cramp than anything.”

“You say that like it’s any better than your leg actually hurtin’.” he muttered.

“Trust me, it is,” she sighed, running one hand along her braid. I know from experience.

Trouble kicked a pebble, and they watched it skitter ahead of them. When they caught up to it, Trick kicked it further. This time it veered sideways when it ricocheted from the edge of a cobblestone and out of reach.

“So, how exactly didja break your leg so bad it helps you predict the weather?” he asked when they reached the next flight of stairs, longer and narrower and curving left.

Trick laughed as she hoisted herself up on his back again. “Oh, it was very exciting. I fell off a ladder.”

Trouble barked a disbelieving laugh of his own. “Really? That’s it?”

“Well, I may have been runnin’ from some people...” she allowed, tightening her grip when he started to turn and look at her. “Trouble, watch where you’re goin’.”

“Right, right.” He hesitated a beat. “Who were you runnin’ from?”

“You want the long version?” Trick chuckled. Even that wasn’t a terribly exciting story, in her opinion, but he was carrying her down steps without a word of complaint. She’d spin him any damn tale about herself he wanted.

“Sure, why not?” Trouble grunted, shifting his grip. “If you don’t mind, anyway.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she promised, wriggling higher when she realized she was sort of strangling him in her current position. “So, there’s this merchant. Decided he wanted extra muscle for the trip from Capra to this town out near Lindell, which makes sense. He was offering good money and I needed work, so I signed up. It’s a pretty long trip, we had to scare off a couple groups of bandit, actually kill some mean-spirited critters, so I more than earned my lyss this time ‘round.”

“And?” Trouble prompted when she paused.

Trick snorted a laugh through her nose and rested her chin atop his head again.  “And the kisich tried to weasel outta payin’ me. Dunno if he was just a skinflint or had something against Diminished or whatever, but when I stood my ground instead of cavin’ like he expected, his men went to force the issue and we had a... uh, scuffle.” She chuckled. “Got the mother of all beautiful black eyes from that scrap. Anyway, partway in, one gets the bright idea to taunt me with the coin purse holdin’ my pay. Guess he thought it would rile me up so I didn’t think straight. He forgot how hard I am to rile. And how quick I can be.” She grinned, her fingers digging into Trouble’s collar. “Punched him in the nose and took off with my money when he dropped it.”

Trouble snorted. “Lemme guess, they came after you.”

“Like yiwari after a rabbit,” Trick confirmed, sliding off his back as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “But I had a really good head start.” Her leg cramped and she glanced up at the much closer storm clouds. “And I made it even bigger ‘cause the outskirts of the town had the houses all built close together, y’know, where you can jump pretty easy roof to roof?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“There was a ladder to the roof every so many houses, so I went up the first one I found and zigzagged my way along the outskirts, jumpin’ alleys an’ hidin’ a couple times ‘til I lost ‘em.”

“Good thing you didn’t fall,” Trouble commented

“Oh, very good,” Another of those silver linings. Trick agreed wryly, scanning the side streets they passed for anything off. It seemed all clear. “Would not have been pretty.”

“Why didn’t ya just tell somebody that kisich was tryin’ to cheat ya?”

She snorted. “Maybe I woulda if I weren’t so obviously Diminished.” She watched his gaze flick to her hair, then back to the street. “They had an.... unlovey reputation regarding how they treated my kind.”

“Oh.” Trouble cracked his knuckles. “I’da kicked their asses. The merchant’s men, I mean.”

“I know,” Trick said with a smile, bumping her shoulder to his(harder than she’d meant to, her limp was getting worse). “If I’d had you backin’ me, I mighta gone for that myself. As it was, I didn’t really wanna fight them. Not there. Just wanted my money. An’ I got that.”

This last stretch of road was a short one, and they reached the final flight of stairs much more quickly than the previous ones. The clouds were actually starting to dim the sun as Trick climbed up on Trouble’s back again, and she hoped the approaching storm held off long enough for them to reach the compound.

“So where this ladder you fell off figure in?” Trouble prompted as he started down the steps.

“Right.” Trick pulled her attention off the sky and back to her story. “Getting down. I waited a good... half hour in my last hidin’ spot to make sure they were gone. The sun was startin’ to set when I finally felt safe comin’ out; the shadows kept me from seeing the, uh, condition of the closest ladder. The wood was all dry-rotted, fourth or fifth rung down broke the second I put weight on it. I fell maybe fifteen feet? Somethin’ like that.”

Trouble gave a low whistle. “Ouch.”

“Tell me about it, I’m lucky my leg’s the only thing I broke. But it was bad enough to more than make up for being the only damage--bone ripped through the skin and everything.”

“What didja do?” he asked, boosting her higher as she started to slide.

“Limped--well, hobbled is prob’ly better--around til I found a healer. Fortunately didn’t take too long,” she shrugged. “Hadn’t scrapped together enough know-how to fix somethin’ that bad for myself yet.” She wiggled her finger significantly and snorted. “Barely had twenty lyss to my name after payin’ the man. And even with his help, it still scarred real nasty. ‘Bout this long.” She let go with one hand to hold thumb and index finger four or five inches apart in demonstration. “An’ now I have a surefire way of tellin’ when it’s gonna” --a fat, wet droplet hit the back of her neck and made her flinch--”rain.”

Trouble swore as they reached the bottom of the steps and he let her down.  “Was hopin’ we’d make it back ‘fore that got here,” he admitted as rain freckled both their shirts.

“You and me both,” Trick said wryly. She grabbed his wrist. The compound was in view down the the far end of the street. “C’mon, if we hurry, maybe we can at least avoid getting completely drenched.”

He laughed and let her tug him into motion, but was nice enough to not outpace her when her limp slowed her down. Which meant they both got drenched when the skies opened up just before they made it through the Shepherd compound gates.

Trouble swore again, but he was grinning when they ducked under the cover of the entrance and he shook water from his hair like a dog.

“Sorry,” Trick said through a laugh, only slightly sheepish, and squeezed water from her braid. “But thanks for the help. And stickin’ with me.”

“Don’t mention it,” he winked, thumping her on the back with one hand while he raked hair out of his eyes with the other. “It’s what you do for friends.”

“Still.” She lightly punched his shoulder. “I appreciate it. And I appreciated even more that you didn’t drop me.”

“Hey, I promised, didn’t I?” Trouble said with a laugh. “Shepherd’s honor an’ all.”

“And I’ve encountered enough people who didn’t keep their word to make me appreciate when someone does.” Trick glanced toward the courtyard, rain now falling in sheets. “You know we still have to make it across that to get to our rooms, right?”

Trouble’s grin widened. “Need another ride?”

Trick’s leg twinged even as thunder rumbled and she snorted a laugh. “Wouldn’t turn it down.”

““Alright, then.”

Neither of them cared if anyone saw their pell-mell run through the downpour for the dormitory wing of the compound, Trick’s arms locked around Trouble’s neck and both laughing the whole way. Trouble kicked the door shut behind them and Trick tightened her grip in a backwards sort-of hug before sliding off.

“Thanks, Trouble,” she grinned, bumping her shoulder to his.

“Welcome, Trick,” he returned, also grinning as he returned the shoulder bump before they headed for their rooms to dry off.

Trick found herself smiling as she stripped off her wet clothes--and not just because her gun had escaped getting wet. While her leg flaring up and then getting rained on wouldn’t have been her first choice for how to break the monotony of patrol, at least handling it with a friend--especially one strong enough to carry her--had kept it from being entirely awful.

Honestly, she had to admit as she dried off and reached for fresh clothes, it had almost (almost) been fun.

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Wanted to write my oc a bit so some gay rambling to their low-key therapist under the cut

[[MORE]]

"You seem like you doing better since last we spoke. Brighter. Happier maybe?"

The troll smiled in kind as her words brought a wry grin to Sunny's lips, cigar smoke puffing out as they snorted.

"Man, there's a loaded compliment if ever I heard it. You tryin' to say I looked miserable before?"

Jak'an'we shook her head, rolling her eyes. "No, but I wouldn't call you happy either, eh? Is a good thing. Take it."

Sunny opened their mouth to retort, but hesitated, then sighed softly and nodded back. "Yeah. A'right. I do feel better. Better'n I have in a long time, truth be told." They pause before adding "...been seeing someone. Not new exactly, but...well. wasn't expectin'it to go nowhere and now..." they open their arms in a shrug but the smile never leaves their face.

"Mmm..." Jak humms, looking out at the water. "You seem...how to say? Surer in you own skin. This girl, she help?" There was a slight teasing note in her words; of course it had to be a pretty girl.

To her surprise, Sunny doesn't respond for a long moment, and then, in a low, soft voice "I think I love her, Jak."

She wasn't sure how to respond. Sunny had been coming to her for a few months now, their talks somewhere between therapy and simply needing a friend. But while progress had been made, the half-elf was not one for vulnerability. Such a statement was...loaded, to say the least. "And...this scares you?"

They nodded sharply, not making eye contact and taking another long drag on their cigar. There's a heavy silence as Jak waits, expectantly. She knows well enough that too much poking would shut them down again. "Haven't told her," they finally murmur "Feels...i dunno. Too soon? Too much?" They wave their hand vaguely, the smile from before lapsing into a brooding frown. "I don't...im scared to lose her."

"You been hurt before." Jak nods understandingly.

"I been here before," they chuckle bitterly, "last girl I told I loved her. I was so fuckin' sure, Jak? Figured we could make it last. An' she drops me barely a month later. She don't like who she is with me, she worries too much about me, all that shite..." they sigh heavily. "Just...worry im not built for love, yeah? For commitin' to someone like that. I'll just...ill end up hurtin' her."

Jak listens quietly, her lips pursed. When Sunny finishes, she inhales sharply "Well. I can tell you you a moron."

Sunny snorts "True, but that your professional opinion?"

"Sunny." She cross her arms, pausing a moment to find the words. "I know. I been in similar places, believe it or not. Specially bein' what I am. Trolls don' be liking half-breeds, many don' be likin' them thst change their bodies." She pauses, stroking a finger along a tusk thoughtfully "But you want my wisdom? Folks that do that, that hurt you. They ain't deservin' what you got to give. An' you do have somethin' to give. This girl, you think she stick around a moper like you if she don't see something she like?"

Sunny snorts again, rolling their eyes "amazing pep talk Jak, as always. Sure, sure, I...maybe? I dunno. I dont know what she sees. I'm...i ain't nothin' special."

They grunt in surprise as the much larger troll gives them a light shove "Eyy! None of that now! What we talk about?"

They groan, responding in a sing-song parrot of her words "Just because I dont like what I see in myself, don't mean others don't neither."

"Right. You want my advice? You go to this girl. You tell her you love her. You tell her you scared. An' you see how she respond." She nods firmly "She hesitate, she push away? She ain't worth your time. You wounded, but you heal. But if she listens, well. Then you just opened up to her an' you both be stronger than ever."

She reaches out, squeezing Sunny's shoulder gently "I know what this mean to you. But you strong. You stronger than I ever seen you. You be needin' someone else, I think. An' maybe this girl be it."

Another pause, then a slow, reluctant nod. "I'll...I'll try. Thanks, Jak."

[razineorzea]

Guilty or Innocent - Jonae’ra Vedeshu

Asked someone to marry you?

Jonae instantly stammered, stumbling over his words as he shyly rubbed his neck. “Uh heh n-no. I fancied a girl enough once an-an thought ‘bout askin’ but… we uh… we broke up before I could.” He frowns slightly but shrugs. “Not meant to be I guess.”

Kissed one of your friends?

His eyes widen a little and he now worries what type of interview he got himself into. “Me first girlfriend was me friend first so… I guess that counts? But… no. Not since then.”

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern?

Jonae laughed and shook his head. “Oi no. Thank the twelve no. Had a friend dance on a bar an’ I had to git him out b’fore we got booted out but no. Not myself. Got more sense in me not to get that knackered.”

Ever told a lie?

Jonae’s ear’s droop and his posture shrinks a little. “Me best mate likes to go after more dangerous hunts… By that I be meanin’ people. Me mum have a heart attack if she knew I was pickin’ up them type of bounties… So yea… Fibbed more than I cared to. Told her we was hunting monsters when we was really after thugs and bandits.” He sighs. “That’s the extent of it though. Not make it a habit of tellin’ lies.”

Had feelings for someone you can’t have?

Jonae thought a moment before sighing and shrugging. “Aye. A crush or two. Neva done nufin though. Not that I got the confidence to talk to pretty girls. But oi, it’s also a matter of respect though eh? Not gonna act on feelin’s if the girls taken. Not right, mate.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Jonae shrugs and shakes his head. “Peck on the cheek or head from me dad an’ older brothers when I was little but nothin’ past that. Nufin romantic.” 

Kissed a picture?

His ears drooped and he became somber. “Aye. Kissed the picture of me dad an’ older brothers. They died during the Calamity. Miss em.” He looked up quietly.

Slept until 5pm?

“Oh ya, mate.” He nodded quickly. “More than once. Usually after bein’ on the road an’ comin home.”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant

Jonae shook his head. “Neva have. Looks difficult though so… Not keen on tryin’.”

Stolen something?

“Ok look, mate.” He said quickly to defend himself. “I neva stole nufin but that don’t mean Raz always stealin’ stuff. An’ I happen t’be there. Look. Raz is a shite head an’ I don’t condone nufin like that.” 

Been fired from a job?

“Eh a time or two. Cheap ranch owners not wantin’ t’pay for honest work. First time was a ranch owner not wantin’ to pay when I killed all the beetles in his farm… Long story, they was antlions. Not beetles. An’ he didn’t wanna pay more.” He frowned. “He didn’t pay me so I found another antlion an’ led it to hims ranch. An’ left it there.” He shrugged.

Done something you regret?

“Mum says I worry too much an’ think too much on the past. Lots I regret. But can’t do nufin to change it. So ya think on it an’ learn. Move on, she says.” 

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?

Jonae chuckled. “Lots. Me best friend is a riot. Think he tries to get me to spit me drink out most of the time.” He laughed.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

“Oh aye! Course I did. Promise me kitten sis I would. First time seein’ snow was amazin’.” He smiled.

Sat on a roof top?

“Literally what I do when home in Ul’dah. Somethin’ relaxin’ sittin on a roof top at night watchin’ the night play out. It’s peaceful.”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have?

“Eh no. Only had a couple of girls… That I got that far with.” He blushed deeply. “An we was datin’ by then.”

Sang in the shower?

He thinks a moment. “I hum. That count?”

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on?

Jonae gives a dead pan expression and sighs in annoyance. “Ye-up. More than once. Cause me best mate is a shite head.”

Shaved your head?

His silver eyes go wide and he looks up at his hair. “Oi no! Nor would I… Like my hair.”

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry?

He shakes his head. “No, neva mad eme girlfriends cry. Least not that I know of…”

Shot a gun?

Jonae smile wide and patted the long barreled revolver at his side. “Aye. A time or two.” He winks.

Still loved someone you shouldn’t?

“Ugh aye. For a time still had feelin’s for me ex. Even though she broke me heart.” He paused a moment. “That what you mean, right?”

Have / had a tattoo?

“Not yet! But I want one. Maybe a wolf or somethin’. I dunno.”

Liked someone, but will never tell who?

He just stares at you for a long moment. “Theres a couple girls I… gotta crush on. But oi no. Neva tellin’ em. Pretty sure I barely exist to them.” 

Been too honest?

“I mean… aye? A time or two? But all things that need be said.” He said with a sigh.

Ruined a surprise?

“Oi, listen. When I was a kitten, ya couldn’t tell me nufin. Was terrible at keepin secrets… I’m better now.” He chuckles.

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

Jonae blushed deeply, “Aye… Or I think she meant it... “

Stalked someone?

He sighs with a frown. “By stalk, ya mean follow someone that had a bounty on their head? Cause done that few times with Raz… But if you mean stalked as in… creepy stalked? Then… no. No I haven’t.”

Thought about murder?

Theres a pause. “No… Neva cross me mind… Now sometimes I go wit’ me best mate to hunt people wit’ bounties. But our aim was always to capture alive but… some fought pretty hard… But neva went into these sorts of things thinkin’ that.”

How about mass murder?

There is a very long pause as he thinks the interviewer is disturbed. “No. No mate. Neva thought about it other than its a terrible thing.”

Cheated on someone?

“No.” The answer was very quick and sharp. “I value loyalty an’ the thought of bein’ with another girl while with another is deplorable, eh?”

Gotten so angry that you cried?

“When I found out me last girlfriend cheated on me, aye. I did. As I broke up with her.” He frowned.

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?

“Aye… few years ago… Raz an I got inta hot water with a bandit clan. Had t’stay away from me family til the whole thing got taken care of. Didn’t want them comin back an’ hurtin’ me family.”

Thoughts about suicide?

He very quickly shook his head. “No. No way mate.” He sighed. “Sure times get tough an it’s hard livin up to me dads foot steps but me mum and sis’ lookin to me for support. If I go then they got nufin. They mean too much for me to think that selfishly.”

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend?

He gives a dead pan look. “Feel like… this shoulda been the first thing asked… Yes… Two ex girlfriends.”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday?

Jonae shakes his head. “Not a heavy drinker, mate. Well, no. No I’m not but last New Year Raz got me right knackered. But I don’t make a habit of it.”

-

Tagged by: @ivyffxiv​ (OMG THANKS FOR THE TAG! Sorry this to FOREVER.)

Tagging: Who ever wants to do this! I don’t know many people. T_T Work and life in general have limited my time on FFXIV as well, sadly.

[crossbows-and-moonshine]

Such a Softer Sin (Chapter twelve)

(Chapter one)

(Chapter two)

(Chapter three)

(Chapter four)

(Chapter five)

(Chapter six)

(Chapter seven)

(Chapter eight)

(Chapter nine)

(Chapter ten)

(Chapter eleven)

Drowning sorrows and dealing with the aftermath.

Headcanon; The boys' accent gets thicker when they're drunk, emotional or nervous.

---------------------------

The first hour of drinking was done so in silence, awkward at first like no one knew what to say. It eased into a more companionable silence after the alcohol started working its magic though and by the end of the hour, they were all well on their way to being drunk considering the amount of whiskey drank. Rocco had been the first to talk, he hated awkward situations and comedy was like his knee jerk reaction. So he opted to tell some funny stories from work and succeeded in making them laugh. Then Connor joined in, telling his own stories or commenting on Rocco’s. Lila and Murphy had stayed silent. They kept glancing at each other and locking eyes until one of them would look away. There was still the large elephant in the room but neither wanted to address it tonight, they'd much rather get drunk instead of dealing with the problem. A few more drinks in and Murphy finally warmed up enough to join in the conversation, and in their usual fashion, the twins told stories, switching it up between them as they told them.

Lila was laughing her ass off by this point at one of the twins' stories from when they were only 10 years old. The alcohol had done wonders to ease her tension as well as the boys and they weren't thinking about the events of the night. The four of them had flushed cheeks and were practically swaying as they sat as their brains were saturated in alcohol.

“-so obviously Murph was furious, he was gunnin’ for Jimmy Flanagan like a fuckin’ pitbull. Bare in mind, Jimmy is a huge fuck, five years older than us, but Macho Murph here fuckin’ went after him anyway!” Connor laughed animatedly, eyes lighting up as he told the story with his hands waving all around.

“Aye, but I wasnae gonna let him say that shit about ye deartháir (brother), only I can say that shit about ye.” Murphy snorted, making a fist with his hand to prove his point.

“Yeah well, a lot o’ good it did ye, ye went down like a sack o’ shit from the first punch!” Connor laughed loudly as the others erupted into a chorus of laughter.

“Fuck you! I was ten! He was fifteen, at least I had the balls te even go after him!” Murphy scowled offended, making his twin laugh even harder.

“Aye ye did. But t’was Ma that ended up whoopin’ his ass inte next week for hurtin’ her precious wee Murph.” Connor howled, remembering his mother's fury at the asshole that dared to hurt his brother as the others laughed.

“You can’t be serious! Your Ma kicked hi--” Lila’s sentence was cut off by a rather loud burp that left her lips and she slapped her hand over her mouth as her eyes widened. There was silence as the boys looked at her shocked before they burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. Lilas' cheeks flushed but she snorted and shook her head.

“Fuckin’ hell lass, think ye’ve been hangin’ around with us too much.” Connor laughed, looking at her incredulously.

“How the fuck did that burp come out of a tiny thing like you?” Rocco snorted, looking somewhat impressed and also amused. She glanced to Murphy and he was looking at her with a small smile, shaking his head. She felt a warmth spread through her chest and she smiled back before looking down. Even with the alcohol, she was still conflicted and she hated it. She missed how things were, she missed Murphy. Her mood was going downhill rapidly.

“Why didn’t you guys just tell me you liked me instead of being dicks?” She blurted out, the alcohol apparently making her brain filter malfunction. She glanced at Murphy and then Connor, noticing their laughter stopped abruptly. Connor shifted awkwardly where he sat. He didn't really expect the question, it caught him off guard. Murphy glared at his hands and chewed his lower lip, suddenly feeling anxious. Rocco felt like he was intruding so he got up and slipped onto the fire escape to have a smoke, not wanting to stick around whilst shit got serious.

“Do we have te do this now lass?” Connor asked regretfully as he blinked at her a little. They were all pretty drunk and he didn't think this conversation was a good idea.

“Yeah, we do. It was a shitty thing to do to me. And If I’m gonna forgive you for it, I’d like to know.” The whiskey had made her bolder, and she didn't seem angry now, she seemed curious and sad instead. Murphy wiped a hand over his face and squirmed a little. He’d hoped to avoid the topic of anything that had happened for the night.

“Lila, I think this conversation would be better for the mornin’.” Murphy said softly, glancing to her through his lashes. She looked at him and the raw hurt in her eyes made him swallow the lump forming in his throat as his heart ached. He lowered his gaze, unable to meet her eyes out of pure shame.

Connor shifted to sit to face her fully and took one of her hands in his carefully, watching for her reaction. She just looked down at their hands and blinked for a minute before turning her eyes back on him. The whiskey seemed to have quelled her anger.

“Look...we know we did wrong, and we’ll spend the rest o’ our miserable lives fuckin’ grovellin’ if we have te, but we are sorry. We just...didn't think I guess? I dunno. We just didn't think ye thought o’ us more than friends. Which makes it worse in a way, that we’d do it anyway thinkin’ that we’d never have a chance.” Connor rambled drunkenly, struggling to find the right words with his alcohol-soaked brain. Lila just stared at him, letting his words sink through the layers of alcohol.

“We were selfish, and we’re sorry. I’m sorry.” Murphy whispered as his gaze practically burnt her with its intensity, almost pleading with his blue eyes. She nibbled her lower lip for a minute before she turned back to Connor.

“I need time, to trust you both again. Out of everyone, I never thought you two would do this to me. I thought I could trust you both with my life.” She said sadly as she looked down to where Connor was still holding her hand.

“Ye can lass. I know it might not seem like it, but we’ll fuckin’ prove it te ye.” Connor said sincerely. Lila then looked back to Murphy who was still watching her carefully, painfully aware of his brother holding Lilas' hand and how he himself had no right to even look at her now, let alone touch her.

“Me and you need a serious talk tomorrow, when we’re not drunk.” She stated seriously, her eyes still showing her pain from what he had done to her. He lowered his head in shame and nodded as he swallowed thickly. He was dreading that conversation but he counted himself lucky she wanted to talk to him at all.

Rocco came back in, looking at them all to see if it was safe, and Lila shot him a weak smile letting him know it was fine. The mood in the loft had grown somber and without words, they all decided they should sleep. Rocco crashed on the couch and almost conked out right away and Lila got up, going behind the screen to change into the shirt she’d been sleeping in. She tried not to think about the fact it was Murphys. When she came back from behind the screen, the boys were in Connors bed and Murphy looked at her. Seeing her still wearing his shirt made his heart hammer hard inside of his rib cage and he closed his eyes. Lila climbed into Murphys bed and curled up facing away from them. She really wasn't looking forward to waking up and having to face everything that had happened with a clear head.

Lila woke first the next morning and she climbed out of bed. She looked around the loft with a frown. The table was in pieces and her clothes were strewn about the place from when Murphy had snatched the bag from her. She was more than shocked she didn't have a hangover but she presumed she was getting used to drinking so much because of the boys. Rocco was still passed out on the couch and she presumed he wouldn't wake until at least noon. She slipped on some sweatpants that Connor had given her previously when she was cold as she looked down at the boys. They were spooning, Connor being the big spoon of course with his arm around Murphys middle, and despite the dull ache in her chest, she smiled to herself. It was amusing and endearing all at the same time. She jumped out of her skin when she heard the door handle rattling a little, watching with wide eyes as the door opened. She relaxed when she saw the maintenance man, she hadn't even noticed one of the twins making a call to him the night before about the flushed away key. The man glanced around at the state of the place and the three sleeping men with almost amusement, presuming they just had a wild night. The man knew the boys, it wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Lila walked over and gave him a grateful smile as he handed her the spare key silently, clearly not wanting to wake the sleeping men in the loft.

She heaved a sigh when the man left as she knelt by the mattress next to Murphy. She took the moment to just look at him. He looked so peaceful and calm when he slept, he looked even younger and boyish. There were so many facets to Murphy, it made her head spin. There was angry Murphy, full of primal and menacing energy that commanded a room. It was sexy as hell unless it was directed at her, then it just made her heart hurt. Then there was sweet Murphy, the side of him that would rub her feet without asking after work when her feet hurt, the side that would ask her continuously if she was hungry or needed a drink, if she was too hot or cold, wanting to make sure she was okay and comfortable at all times. The side she had seen of him the night before was scary, and she needed to be clear to him that if he ever did that again to her, he’d never see her again. It was fine when he was mad at someone else, they always deserved it, but it was uncalled for last night. She wanted to know why he had acted that way with her, she felt like maybe if she heard him out, it could help her to understand and maybe be able to forgive him.

She chewed her lip nervously as she reached a hand out, stroking his hair softly.

“Murph, wake up.” She whispered, rubbing her fingers on his scalp soothingly. Murphy blinked his eyes open tiredly, his eyes settling on her stroking his hair. He gave her a sleepy smile but then it vanished when his brain had given him a mental recap of all that had happened. He felt his heart constrict as he looked at her, she looked so sad and it was his fault. But here she was, stroking his hair and looking down at him like an angel in the light of the loft. She moved her hand and he felt the loss instantly. He watched as she stood and gestured to the fire escape before walking off and going out the window. Murphy sighed and managed to successfully get out of his twins grasp. He chucked his robe on, grabbing his smokes and followed after her.

She was stood leaning against the rail and looking out at nothing in particular and she glanced to him when he joined her side. They were silent for a moment, neither of them looking at the other as Murphy lit a smoke and let the nicotine calm his nerves. He was fully expecting her to tell him she was leaving forever and he felt sick at the feeling, though he knew he deserved it. He wasn't sure what to say so he stayed silent and waited for her to gather her thoughts and talk.

“Why did you act that way?” Her soft voice cut through the air and he still couldn't look at her, instead he opted to focus on his smoke and stare at nothing. He worked his jaw a little as he tried to make sure the words came out right.

“The thought of ye leavin’...I just...When I don’t know how te deal with somethin’, negative shit, I get mad…I dunno why, I’ve always been that way I guess. Ma sent me te a fuckin’ head doctor once ‘cause o’ me temper. But… Wasn't really interested, didn’t listen to ‘em, didn’t care. They gave up tryin’ in the end... I was scared...when ye said ye were goin’. I knew we fucked up and...I was terrified o’ losin’ ye forever. ‘Cause I can’t imagine ye not bein’ in our lives now. And me head...It gets all mixed up when I’m upset, ‘cause I cannae deal with it, so it turned inte anger. The shrink told me once it was some kind o’ defense mechanism, ‘cause I can deal with anger, I can break shit, scream at someone or fuckin’ get in a fight, ye know? I’ve never really lost me temper with someone that don’t rightly deserve it, but last night...was a first for me...and certainly a fuckin’ last.” He admitted, rubbing his lip with his thumb thoughtfully. She nodded a little, glancing at him waiting to see if he continued. She could practically see the cogs in his head turning as he tried to gather his words.

“I know what I did was...I fuckin’...I’m sorry. Can't even tell ye how sorry I am. I let me anger get the best o’ me and I hurt ye. I’ll never forgive meself for it and I don’t expect you too either. Surprised Conn didn't put me in the fuckin’ hospital last night, ‘cause if it was him that did that te ye, I woulda fuckin’ killed him.” He sounded so bitter and angry at himself, sneering at himself almost before taking a long drag of his smoke.

Lila stood there thoughtful for a moment. She was glad he was being open and honest with her, and she already knew he had a temper, his twin had told her as much. She didn't realise it had been that bad he’d had to see someone about it though. She knew he hadn't done it intentionally, she knew deep down he wouldn't hurt her on purpose. It was something he seemed to have no control over. He was scared, scared that he was going to lose her and it had gotten out of hand.

“What happened last night, it can't happen again Murphy. I appreciate you’re sorry and I can see you are. But that kind of shit won't fly with me. If you ever do that to me again, you’ll never see me again.” She said firmly, looking at him. He was shocked, blinking a little as he looked out at nothing still, was she saying that she was sticking around? Did this mean she might eventually forgive him? He nodded and turned to look at her as he discarded his smoke. But his eyes widened, in the light of outside, he could clearly see the bruises formed on the tops on her arms where he had restrained her, he was surprised he hadn't fucking cracked her ribs with the force he used on her.

His face fell visibly and it felt like his heart exploded in his chest and left a gaping hole. Tears stung his eyes and he sucked in a shaky breath, lowering his head in shame. She watched him carefully and when she glanced at herself she noticed the marks, she hadn't even seen them before now. Her heart ached seeing him so upset, despite the fact he should have been since he had been the one to leave those marks on her. But she could see how it was eating him alive. She just wanted her happy Murphy back. She watched him, trying to figure out the next move, what she should do and she saw his chest heaving a little as he tried to calm himself down. He looked so broken and defeated.

Despite her better judgment, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle. His hands hung limply at his sides, he didn't deserve her hugs, he didn't deserve anything but a fucking punch from her. He looked at the sky and squeezed his eyes shut as his heart hurt more and more by the second. Tears streaming down his face. Lila felt his body start to shake with silent sobs and she squeezed him tighter, her own tears falling down her cheeks. She would never excuse his behaviour, neither would he, that much was clear. But she couldn't stand to see him hurting like this. It was a bad day and she wanted to move on from it and try to rebuild the friendship they had formed. Because as much as they had hurt her, Murphy in particular, she needed these boys. They meant more to her than she could even vocalize and losing them wasn't an option. She’d told Murphy it couldn't happen again and what would happen if it did, but something told her he would never do it again anyway, it seemed to have traumatised him enough to realise what he had done.

When he felt her squeeze harder, his arms came around her, holding her tightly as one hand went into her hair as usual. His fingers tangled in her wild mane of red hair and he buried his nose in it, the scent soothing him as he broke down. His sobs were pitiful and he sounded like a pained child. Lilas' heart broke into pieces and she fisted the back of his shirt as she cried along with him. They stayed that way until both of their sobs eased off and she moved away just a fraction. She looked up at him with her glassy eyes and tear-stained face and his bottom lip quivered. He lowered his head again unable to look at her and closed his eyes, Lila cupped his cheeks and wiped away his tears. Murphy rested his forehead on hers and reveled in her soothing touch, feeling blessed that she was even showing him this kindness. It was one of the things he loved most about her, how sweet and caring she was, always putting others first even if they didn't deserve it, like him.

“I forgive you Murph. Just make sure it doesn't happen again.” She whispered through her tears. His heart squeezed and he shook his head, he didn't deserve her forgiveness and he'd surely confess after mass on Sunday and do any penances he had to, to atone for his sins. He swallowed thickly, unable to open his eyes and look at the woman that had captured both his and his brother's hearts, a woman who deserved so much fucking better. She hated how he wouldn't look at her, how he didn't want her forgiveness.

“I want my sweet happy Murphy back. Please?” She pleaded softly, her heart aching terribly. His eyes fluttered open, looking so fucking pained and she blinked at him, her thumbs stroking his cheeks softly. He sniffed a little and nodded, the movement making her head move too since his head was on hers, and she gave him a weak smile. He tried to give her one back but it was so small it was almost nonexistent.

She moved away and took his hand to lead him back inside. She wanted to talk to Connor too now, to clear the air. It was the only way they could move past everything and she just wanted to get it over and done with, like ripping off a bandaid.

“Can you wake Connor for me please?” She asked softly, making him nod and walk over to the mattress as he wiped his eyes. She could hear Rocco still snoring away and she found herself going to walk to the table to sit down. She stopped and looked at it forlornly in pieces and she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. The reminders of the night before still hurt and she tried to calm herself, she wanted to move on, she wanted things back to how they were.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28

[rask-the-rogue]

Acquainted with Rask

► Name ➔   “Rask!   Really, jus’ call me Rask.” ► Are you single ➔ “Nope, I’ve got three boyfriends an’ a girlfriend.  Wait-- or is it four...” ► Are you happy ➔   "Aye!  Things are goin’ real well, at present.” ► Are you angry ➔  “Naw.  Well-- dependin’ on what comes of tha stirrin’s of a new faction war, I might soon be right pissed.” ► Are your parents still married ➔   “Hah!  Ha... they never was, first off, an’ my ma’s been gone fer over thirty years.”

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Old Town, in Stormwind.” ► Hair Color ➔ “Brown.” ► Eye Color ➔ “Also brown.” ► Birthday ➔ “June tenth.” ► Mood ➔ “Content, a lil’ anxious, an’ just a dash of mischevious.” ► Gender ➔ “Male.” ► Summer or winter ➔ “Feck, tha’s a hard one!  I’ll go with summer, though.  More folk walkin’ around in revealin’ clothin’!” ► Morning or afternoon ➔ “Can I say both?”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ “Ayup!” ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ "Bein’ struck by someone, sure-- pfft, happens ta me all tha time.  But love?  Naw.  Love takes time, an’ effort, an’ commitment, in my book.” ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ “Hm... well, I ended things with Archelaos first, then he ended things when he decided ta settle down, so-- hah!  Not me.” ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔  “Oh, I’m sure I have.  Not on purpose, though.” ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Afraid, no.  Wary, mebbe.” ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Of course!  Shit, within tha last five minutes.” ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “Oh, aye, but good fortune happened that I admired them, too.” ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “I reckon we all do, once or twice.”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ “Love, though lust ‘s certainly got its uses.” ► Cats or Dogs ➔ “I like both, but I’ve always been fond ‘a mistsabers.  Years ago I was lucky enough ta get Arkady, from the druids in Teldrassil; recently Mav gifted me onna her felsabers, Felpaw.  Felpaw’s great with tha kids; Arkady was great with everyone.” ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “Tha more friends, tha better; I dunno that I’ve really ever had ‘best’ friends.  Well, I have, but I’d say I have at least five at a time, and I dunno if that counts!” ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Why choose?  Love me them wild night outs, though.” ► Day or night ➔ “Depends on what I’m doin’, if ya catch my meanin’.”

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ “I been caught sneakin’, but sneakin’ out?  Ain’t ever had a home ta sneak outta before.” ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Oh sure, though usually it’s thanks to a fight that happens ta be happenin’ on tha stairs.” ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Aye-- of course.  Shit-- when I was younger, it literally hurt, not havin’ my ma.  I’d still give about anythin’ ta get her back, but-- ‘m fine, now, an’ thankfully not hurtin’ after no one.” ► Wanted to disappear ➔ “Shit, I basically did that a few years back.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ “Again with tha hard choices.  I’m gonna go with eyes-- you can learn a lot about a person through their eyes.” ► Shorter or Taller ➔ “Hah... anyone what knows me an’ sees tha people I like will know tha answer to this one.  Taller!  Not that that’s a hard thing ta accomplish.” ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔  “This question don’t make much sense, but if I don’t say intelligence I’ll look like a shallow asshole, so let’s go with that one.” ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ “Hook-ups that turn inta relationships are sorta my bag.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ “We do-- one advantage ta everyone in yer family bein’ adopted by you.  Took me a while ta warm up ta my brother-in-law an’ his spiders, but he an’ I have an understandin’ now.” ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “I think a lot of it’s been messed up, aye.  It certainly hasn’t been a life I’d wish fer anyone, especially when I was younger.  But it’s worked out, an’ now I’m doin’ wut I can ta be sure someone else don’t go through tha same shit I did.” ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ “Never had a home, but-- I did run away from tha Old Town Orphanage, when I was placed there.  Tha head priest there at tha time was one mean sonovabitch.” ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “I’m lovin’ how vague this question is.  Out of wut?  A lover’s bed: not a chance.  A guild: no, but I did plenty of kickin’.  Bars: gods, so many.”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “Naw.   Takes a lot ta make me hate a man.” ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “They’re good people, but I dunno if all of ‘em qualify as good friends.” ► Who is your best friend ➔ “Aminas, without question.” ► Who knows everything about you ➔ “That’s a tie between my sister Celune an’ Aminas.”

TAGGED BY: @high-inquisitor

TAGGING: @sconesandsorcery, @fortherisingsun, @inquisitive-baker

[voidwizerd-archive]

[[ “What the hell is a Kankri?” Wiz Lalonde, prior to realizing a Mista k e

part one of Wiz/Kankri logs from yesterday and today ]]

valorousimperial Mm........ I don't understand.

wiz-texts um im sorry i think u have th wrong account who r u??? u seem confused bout somethin i hope u get in contact w th person ur tryin to reach they prolly got th answers ur lookin fr

valorousimperial I don't think anyone has the answers I'm looking for. They died with your memory of me. Enjoy that unmarked body.

wiz-texts wait. what??? im sorry i dont kno who u r also i havent posted *nothin* bout an unmarked body how th fuck do u kno bout that????

valorousimperial Well, up to last light, we WERE quadranted. I've seen you naked a few times.

wiz-texts okay..... that is bullshit, n u r confused. i may have bad memory but not *that* bad

valorousimperial Wiz Lalonde you cannot possibly have forgotten the stipulations of the deal you made.

valorousimperial ...I'm Kankri.

wiz-texts ...i forgot you i. how could i have im so sorry i dont understand whats happenin

valorousimperial Makes two of us.

wiz-texts im so sorry no that. that prolly dont mean shit. fuck.

valorousimperial ... Not really. No.

wiz-texts Lilac n Red are tellin me not to run away, n i wont, but this is your home im in, apparently

valorousimperial A couple of nights ago, it was your home, too.

wiz-texts i wont stay here if you dont want me to. after what i jus did... fuck, i wouldnt blame you one second for tellin me to leave

wiz-texts ...it still feels like it is

wiz-texts i, im sorry. ill keep my thoughts to myself do.... do you want me to go?

valorousimperial No I'm glad this is still your home

valorousimperial Everyone keeps telling me this will... Get better. I don't know how. But it won't happen if I make you leave.

wiz-texts theyre tellin me that too i dont see how

wiz-texts im so sorry. im so sorry for hurtin you. im so sorry for all of this i wish i could give you th answers and i wish i could make everythin better im sorry

valorousimperial It hurts

[[ Hours In The Future, But Not Many... ]]

valorousimperial Anyway, I thought you should know that those are my teeth.

wiz-texts *fuck* im im sorry i kept holdin it because it felt nice should i not..?????? im sorry

valorousimperial No it

valorousimperial Actually Really comforts me to hear that You did that before. When you were stressed.

wiz-texts i did...? it does feel nice. anchorin but what i did, i shouldnt......

valorousimperial It's fine.

wiz-texts doesnt seem that way fuck, i. am i supposed to talk to you? not talk to you???? i dont know

wiz-texts i dont want to keep hurtin you more than i have...

valorousimperial I I don't know what's fine and not fine

valorousimperial I know I'm selfish and awful and if there's one scar left on you and I made it, if you keep holding it because it makes you feel better, if you don't recoil from it just for existing, then Then they can't have taken everything about me from you.

wiz-texts i..... i think i like it, actually

valorousimperial ??

wiz-texts i like how it looks, n feels. it's got these sorta... ridges?? th dents from th teeth are fun to trace my fingers over is..... is that okay for me to say??? is *any* of this okay gosh i dunno....

valorousimperial Yes.

wiz-texts yes??

valorousimperial I think a lot of things aren't okay. But this is. This is This is them failing. This is them not taking us away from each other. This is good.

valorousimperial I guess that we have to meet one another again.

valorousimperial [[ oh shit it’s dat beautiful boi.jpg aka mun sent an actual picture but i’m being a dork ]] This is me, I'm a troll. Which you had probably figured out.

wiz-texts yea no offense but im in your palace, id be a little concerned if you werent a troll ha youre..... youre really pretty n i have a confession, ive already seen this picture

valorousimperial This is the whole picture!! And it's not tiny!! I like to think that I'm pretty, I'm glad you do, too.

wiz-texts because i went through all the tags and message history like..... five or six times already nothin came back. im sorry

valorousimperial ... Oh, I Didn't figure it would But I'm glad you tried.

wiz-texts i wanted to try. wanted to see if i could feel..... *somethin* like memory

valorousimperial I assume there's not even a sense of deja vu.

wiz-texts it feels different. ive forgotten a lot of things n those are all fuzzy, its like..... like my brain is swamped in a fog

wiz-texts this, though, it dont feel fuzzy it feels like its just been..... scooped right outta my brain. cant remember what isnt there anymore, right

valorousimperial Right I don't begrudge you that. I begrudge you WHY it's gone. But not that it is.

wiz-texts there is some kinda feelin but i dont know if thats because of my guilt or nah. great mystery right there.....

wiz-texts not deja vu. somethin else

valorousimperial ?

wiz-texts like..... shucks, i dunno how to word it

wiz-texts .....

wiz-texts heck

valorousimperial The best you can do works for me.

wiz-texts i. i dont know, i.... feel like maybe its out of line?? too soon???? im just... lookin at things and thinkin n searchin until things go blurry

valorousimperial It's never too soon for you to take comfort in things. You and I, We'll just Play it by ear, right? And maybe things can work again. Do you maybe want to play a questions game?

wiz-texts i aint.... exactly takin comfort in it i dont think???

valorousimperial ?

wiz-texts it. mm. th thing i keep feelin goin through th tags ......because im a stubborn fuck n starin at everythin for. i think this is my fourteenth time through th whole thing

wiz-texts it aint deja vu but its like......... somethin of me *does* know you???? not a memory but. somethin .........

valorousimperial Well This is the part where you intimately relearn my penchant for dirty jokes, I guess But I bet I can guess what part of you remembers me...

wiz-texts ....you actually got me to laugh there sounded more like this wheezin sorta thing but thats what it was

valorousimperial Pfft.

wiz-texts but no its like... ppl talk bout butterflies in their stomachs, when they like someone, right???? its like that i guess

valorousimperial !!!!

wiz-texts except its more in my chest n it feels like..... a knot??? a knot gettin pulled tighter n tighter n then i get overwhelmed n i cry but i dont. know if thats good or bad it feels good AND bad if that makes any sense i dunno....... i dunno

valorousimperial Less !!!! Butt still at least !

wiz-texts why????

valorousimperial I just I want you to feel things about me.

wiz-texts i do too i want to feel *all* th things bout you, i want to feel everythin i did before n like add a whole bunch more on top to. to make up for this if you want me to if you dont thats... thats okay. rly its your decision

valorousimperial I don't know

valorousimperial I'm

wiz-texts .....obviously i already made mine. ha....

valorousimperial I'm really fucked up about this.

wiz-texts i know. im sorry i shouldnt have said that

valorousimperial ...yes. You did make your decision. But you had to have had a reason. Because all this... Getting rid of the hated scars, and leaving mine behind The fluttering and the tightness in you when you look at who we were together

wiz-texts im blurtin out everythin that comes into my head, ill....... ill stop. i shouldnt be doin this to you. i shouldnt its gotta be hurtin you n i dont want that

valorousimperial WANTING to have what we did again You clearly don't hate me, or my memory. So you You had to have had a reason.

wiz-texts ..... yea but i... i cant begin to understand it. i remember how much i hated th scars but...... it doesnt make sense. ive been tryin all night n it doesnt make sense

valorousimperial ?

valorousimperial All night? Like, all of all night? Did you get a nap? Did you focus on something else?

wiz-texts not...... really......

valorousimperial !! Are you very tired?

wiz-texts dunno? dunno ???????? um

valorousimperial You used to get really very exhausted Easily.

wiz-texts i have been picked up by a judgin troll lady

valorousimperial ?????

wiz-texts Lilac keeps. voodooin ppl in here i kinda barricaded th door n hid away for a little so i could think

valorousimperial He's a good clown.

wiz-texts um. it seems that was a while ago. breakfast time????? what time is it now i dont think im exhausted but its hard to tell so. oh well

valorousimperial You haven't eaten AT ALL? Oh, Wiz, no No, don't do that.

wiz-texts i forgot. didnt feel hungry or much of anything else tbh scold Keeune too he's been awake since his shift last light wtf

valorousimperial Keeune is attached to you and doing much what I would if I found out you were mysteriously sick.

wiz-texts im not? sick?????

valorousimperial In a way.

wiz-texts ....oh

wiz-texts um

wiz-texts you should go to sleep. i wouldnt wanna keep you when your moirail is waitin

valorousimperial No, I'm okay.

wiz-texts mm......

valorousimperial Let's play the questions game. What's your favorite color?

valorousimperial Oh, I didn't see his post

wiz-texts ha. yea thats what i meant

valorousimperial He's so drowsy. He'll fall asleep any minute.

wiz-texts u should go to him though!!

valorousimperial I'm with him.

wiz-texts then like.... go to sleep???

wiz-texts [[ wiz, internally: give attention to your real quad..... ]]

valorousimperial What’s your favorite color?

[lpdwillwrite4coffee]

BLOODY SUNRISE CHAPTER TEN

“C’mon now,” Booker laughed, holding his hands up. “Put your weight into it.”

Caitlin balled up her fists, keeping them at her chin like he taught her.

Booker tapped the center of his left palm. “Right there. C’mon, like ya mean it.”

She jabbed, knuckles making contact with his hand. It barely stung and he didn’t even flinch.

“Really, Meadows?”

She sighed and dropped her arms. “I’m trying.”

“No you’re not, you’re pussyfootin’,” he said, lowering his hands. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of hurtin’ me.”

She bit the tip of her tongue to keep quiet.

Every day for at least an hour Booker had been teaching her self-defense. He started with blocking and how to disarm someone, and then moved on to more offensive tactics—proper punching form, sparring, and how to escape certain holds.

She was getting better, but her punch needed some work.

“Maybe I’m just not annoyed with you enough,” she said, smirking and lifting an eyebrow.

“If our fight this mornin’ about the last of the peanut butter wasn’t enough to piss you off for a day, I dunno what is.”

She scowled at him. “I told you not to bring it up again.”

Booker grinned and held his hands up. “That’s it. G’head, throw that punch out.”

She jabbed and skin to skin snapped like a rubber band.

“There ya go, that’s it,” he said, voice low.

The deep rumble of words sent goosebumps up her arms, completely out of place in the Mississippi summer heat.

“C’mon, Cae,” he urged.

It was too similar to her dream.

The first time in over a month she didn’t have a nightmare or empty void of unconsciousness and it turned into… that.

“Hey, where’d ya go?” He asked, brow furrowing.

“Huh?”

“Disappearin’ in your head again.”

She blinked. “Sorry.”

Readjusting her stance, she gave a couple fierce punches, and tried to ignore the tiny thrill skipping through her as Booker grunted.

He was going to figure it out. He read her too well, always telling her she thought too loud.

Not that he was the Sphinx riddle to her either.

She knew. She saw the hints of pink high on his cheekbones and the tips of his ears when she moaned into a good stretch. How he’d practically snap his neck to avoid watching her clean off in a creek or pond. He’d give in eventually, and she knew the moment exactly—Her pulse would always quicken, and the hair would raise at the back of her neck. Like being watched by a wolf in the forest.

Not that she’d mind being devoured.

“What?”

Booker’s voice brought her back to the present so fast she could’ve gotten whiplash.

“Lost steam, Meadows,” he commented. “You need a break?”

She bit the inside of her lip.

She needed something else entirely.

“Yeah, sure.” Dropping her fists, she wandered over to the Jeep and sat on the bumper.

Sweat dripped down her neck from her hairline, and she wiped at it. She was perpetually damp from the heat and humidity, never able to fully cool off.

Glancing up, she caught Booker staring at where her hand was against her collarbone. Quickly he ducked and turned away, suddenly very interested in the tree they’d parked under.

Oh yeah, he was an open book.

Standing, she opened up the back and took a small amount of toilet paper off the roll they had at the ready.

“I’m gonna…” She trailed off, flashing the Charmin.

“Stay close,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.

Over protective, as always.

She’d just finished and was about to yank her underwear back up when she noticed.

“Shit.” It was louder than intended.

“Y’alright?”

“Uh… yeah.”

Boots crunched closer. “Meadows?”

She sighed and glared up at the branches over her head. “Can you toss me my pack?”

“Y’get bit by somethin’ or—”

“No, Booker, geez,” she snapped. “Just throw me my bag, please?”

He muttered something incomprehensible and strode away. The Jeep door opened and shut and then he was returning.

“Where you at?”

“No, don’t come over,” she called. “Just toss it…” She held her hand up so he knew where to aim.

Her pack landed a foot away and she snatched it up.

Booker was leaning against the Jeep when she returned, sipping on a water bottle.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

Shoving her pack behind the passenger seat, she shook her head. “Nope. You ready to head out?”

He looked like he was trying too hard not to grin. “Sure.”

They were on the road less than two minutes before he was cocking his head at her.

“Got your period, huh?”

Caitlin nearly choked on her Gatorade.

Booker laughed at her reaction, shifting his hold on the wheel—back to that alpha male wrist driving she hated so goddamn much.

“The fuck, Booker.”

“It’s not like you were subtle.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Sure it is.”

“Excuse me?”

He laughed again. “I mean, in terms of a supply run. We gotta make sure you have what y’need.”

“I’m good. I have plenty.”

“Besides, I ain’t a caveman,” he said, eyeing her like he was waiting for her to counter that statement. “I understand biology.”

“Bully for you, you’re a 21st century man.” She pointedly stared out the window, wind tangling her hair.

There was a beat before he said, “Why’d you think ya had hide it?”

“I wasn’t—”

“You were.”

She sighed. “I don’t know, Booker, maybe I’m just not used to living with a man.”

He nodded, making an affirmative noise at the back of this throat. “Makes sense.” He glanced over at her, adding, “Y’mean, uh… Nathaniel ain’t the Tampax run in the middle of the night, kinda guy?”

Caitlin’s eyes widened. She hadn’t thought of Nathaniel in days.

“We never lived together.” She stared at Booker’s profile. “I’m sure he would’ve if I’d asked.”

“Usin’ past tense,” Booker commented. “That mean you think he’s gone?”

She considered it a moment. “It means… I don’t know where we stand if I do find him again.”

Everything in her screamed at the vulnerability of her statement. She’d left herself wide open for a barrage of questions that would all lead to the same conclusion.

Her feelings had shifted.

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out the rest.

By the grace of a god she didn’t believe in, Booker only hummed and nodded in understanding.

                                                               ***

Since acquiring the Jeep, their routine had changed significantly. Off roading wasn’t much of an issue as long as the trees weren’t too thick. They made infinitely better time and now that they were further from Atlanta, odds of running across military goon squads were slim. Highways were still packed with abandoned cars, but Caitlin enjoyed the scavenging. It was something she was good at, and she had an eye for people’s patterns and habits, which meant she could always tell who had the better stuff.

She’d taken to collecting CDs along with essentials. It kept her sane, gathering such small tokens of optimism. Not to mention it was helpful in drowning out Booker’s bickering from time to time.

After several days of zig-zagging across Alabama and into Mississippi, they decided to make camp near a freshwater pond to rest and clean up.

Booker kept watch, just like always, as she rinsed off.

Like a wolf in the woods…

Glancing over her shoulder, she spotted him crouched on the grassy hill, rifle in hand. He was staring off into the distance, but she knew he was only focused on her.

Knew it as well as her own heartbeat.

Viscerally interdependent.

Innocent and primitive.

We run together.

That night they slept with the canvas off the Jeep, desperate for even the faintest breeze.

“Booker, why don’t you let me take first watch?” She offered.

He hid it well, but his exhaustion was starting to show beneath his eyes. She knew Booker didn’t sleep much—never had, since the day they met—but he was still human. And she was steadier with a weapon, had better instincts when night came now than she did.

“I’m alright, songbird,” he told her as he settled back against the door. “You sleep.”

Songbird. He’d never called her that before.

She wanted to tease him about it, but something desperate and hungry inside her was afraid he’d never say it again if she did.

She loved the pet name too much to lose it.

Her dream that night was of a house in the country. A buttercup yellow kitchen. Coffee brewing, the scent filling the whole room. A ring on her left finger, a big smile just for her, and kisses that didn’t end.

It was still dark when she stirred awake.

“Dreamin’?”

She stretched and looked up at him. “Mhm-hm.”

“Good one?”

Caitlin stilled. “Yeah. Yeah it was.”

“’Bout time,” Booker murmured.

She knew what he wasn’t saying.

Breaks my heart when you wake up frightened.

I hate that I can’t protect you from it.

Sleep still fogged her thoughts, made her loopy like she’d taken cold meds.

At least that was what she told herself, how she excused what she did next.

Pushing up onto her right hand, Caitlin reached for him. It was tentative, a graze of her fingers over his chest, up to the side of his neck.

Booker froze like a startled animal.

A wolf caught off guard.

He stared down at her, eyes locked on her in the dark. Sitting up as best as she could, Caitlin leaned close, nose brushing over his cheek before tilting up and pressing her lips to his.

Time became elastic, stretching in infinite directions.

Fixed in place, neither of them eased into the kiss for what felt like eternity. Both too shocked, too overwhelmed, too scared of it all being an elaborate hallucination.

And then his lips moved against hers gently, and time snapped back.

Caitlin lunged forward, clutching his face in her hands. She was starved, frantic… A wolf in her own right.

Booker wrapped his arm around her waist, dragging her closer. Blindly, he discarded his rifle to the side a safe distance away, right as she crawled into his lap. Knees on either side of his thighs, she kissed him like she was dying.

Maybe she had been. Maybe they both were.

Snaking his hands under the hem of her shirt, he lit sparks all over her skin. Her hips, her back, her ribs—everywhere he touched came alive.

Meanwhile she couldn’t get enough of his mouth.

That smart mouth that had pushed her to the edge so many times, driven her crazy, bickered with her for hours… Now she wanted nothing else but to taste every inch, to memorize each curve, to lose herself when his teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

A moan escaped her, and Booker’s grip tightened on her hips. She answered by grinding down against the growing bulge in his jeans and his breath stuttered.

Ducking down, she dragged her teeth over the tendon in his neck, and the full body shudder he had made her giddy.

His left hand came up under her chin, forcing her mouth back to his. This time he kissed her like he was branding her, and she turned to liquid beneath his touch.

They fumbled with each other’s shirts, yanking at fabric with little finesse. As soon as Booker cupped her breasts over the cotton of her bra, she arched forward like she’d been shocked.

Everything. She wanted everything, all at once.

She didn’t wait for him to attempt to unhook her—she reached back and undid her bra, sliding it off her arms and tossing it somewhere in the Jeep.

“How’s a man supposed to go slow when y’do somethin’ like that, huh?” He mumbled against the corner of her mouth.

Caitlin grinned and brought his hands up to her breasts again. Calloused palms were deliciously rough against sensitive flesh, skilled fingers pinching and tugging. Then his lips were gone from hers, only to find a new home latched on her left nipple, and she gasped sharply.

“Fuck,” she breathed, clutching the back of his head. He groaned against her, making her shiver, and she pulled his hair. He seemed to enjoy that if his tongue was any indicator.

Booker switched sides, making her head swim with how perfect it all was. He knew her, inside and out, could feel her signals even before she did.

Viscerally interconnected.

Without letting her go, Booker started undoing the fly of her jeans, popping the button one handed and tugging the zipper.

His fingers had just brushed the skin below her navel when a spike of something worrisome shot through her. She recoiled slightly, and he stopped everything.

“Too much?” He looked up at her. “We can stop, if—”

“No, no.” She clutched his hand. “I just… The last time I did this was before…”

Before the world ended.

“When I had a shower of my own, access to a razor…” She laughed softly.

Booker’s hand tangled in her hair as he dragged his nose between her breasts, over her collarbone, and up her neck.

“Smell like heaven to me,” he murmured, kissing her pulse point. “As for the razor…” His knuckles skimmed over her lower abdomen, stopping at the elastic of her underwear. “Never did care much for the shaved look.”

He nipped at her ear and she jerked, moaning quietly.

That settled it then.

In a flurry, she slid off him to yank her jeans down her thighs. Booker helped, chuckling at her enthusiasm. When they were off and tossed away, he bent down to kiss up her leg, from knee to hip, licking and teasing her as he went.

He moved along the length of her body, peppering her with kisses and kitten licks, driving her mad with lust.

Pushing at his thick shoulders, she forced him up, much to his confusion until he caught her meaning.

On your back.

He did so without hesitation, hauling her with him as he shifted.

She straddled him with fierce determination, planting her hands on his chest and leaning down to kiss him until he was groaning into her mouth.

Caitlin rocked her hips, egging him on with sweet torture. Booker’s fingertips dug into the meat of her ass and she whimpered as pleasure rolled through her.

“Cae…” His voice was gravel. “C’mere.”

She frowned, unsure of how much closer she could get. And then it clicked.

“Are you… I mean…”

Booker tugged at her hips, guiding her. “God, yes.”

It took a little maneuvering, careful not to knee him in the face, but then he was holding her still with those broad hands on either side of her hip bones.

He nuzzled the inside of her thighs, alternating between kissing and biting until she was choking on each gasp and moan. Sliding his thumb under the elastic, he yanked the center fabric to the side and—

“Oh, fuck,” she cried out, covering her mouth.

He slid his tongue between her folds, tasting thoroughly and groaning against her.

“Jack… Jack,” she panted, scrambling for purchase on the interior of the Jeep.

His moans were almost as desperate as hers. Sucking her clit between his lips, he hummed, and Caitlin saw stars.

“Jack!” She grabbed his hair, fingers twisting, and he nodded against her.

Do what you want.

Take what you need.

Fuck me.

Thrusting her hips, she worked against his tongue, finding a rhythm that left her almost breathless.

Barreling towards climax, she knew she couldn’t be quiet, knew she’d scream like a demon if given half the chance.

Grabbing his wrist, she yanked his hand to her mouth, taking his first three fingers down to the knuckle. Booker groaned, hips twitching involuntarily.

The first wave hit, and Caitlin arched back, cries muffled by his hand.

Her orgasm crashed over her, unrelenting. Booker took delight in eating her through it, burying his face between her thighs.

Releasing his fingers from between her lips, she gasped and tried to pull back.

“Booker, ah, oh God,” she moaned. “I… Can’t…”

Except he was still circling her clit with the tip of his tongue, and before she could try to climb down, she was shattering apart again.

“Jesus Christ, Jack,” she panted, pitching forward.

By the way he wasn’t slowing, he was gunning to give her a third, and she wasn’t sure if her body was aching from need or overstimulation.

He knew though. Knew she could take it, could have it, knew he’d die to feel her come on his tongue again.

Her palm smacked the driver’s seat headrest as she held on for dear life.

Wolf devouring wolf.

Consumed and made whole, all at once.

Caitlin’s voice cracked in half when she came again, nails gouging the upholstery.

Finally, Booker eased back, groaning like he’d been given a straight shot of dopamine.

He held her safely as she moved off him, catching her breath.

“Fuck me.”

Booker chuckled, running his fingers up his chin, collecting what was left dripping down him.

“No, Jack,” she said, waiting for him to look at her. “Fuck me.”

He stared, wide eyed for a split second, before he was rolling on top of her.

Caitlin clutched his face, kissing him deeply. He tasted like her, and it sent a thrill coursing through her.

Booker manhandled her onto her back, gripping her thighs as he slid her where he needed. Hitching her leg around his waist, he ground against her sensitive core, making her moan into his shoulder.

“I’ll try t’go easy,” he murmured into her neck.

She didn’t want easy. Didn’t want gentle.

She wanted to feel brutally alive with him inside her.

And she let him know just as much by digging her nails into his muscled back, scratching hard enough to leave welts.

“Ah, Cae,” he hissed, dropping his head to her sternum.

Placing a kiss there, he sat back just far enough to undo his belt and fly. The second he freed himself, Caitlin’s mouth watered.

Booker groaned, and she glanced up.

“Can’t look at me like that,” he said. “Killin’ me, darlin’.”

She grinned and trailed her hand over the ridgelines of his stomach to the course line of hair leading down from his navel.

“Have to show you what this mouth can do another time,” she said, fingers circling his length. He twitched in her hand and she bloomed with pride.

Leaning forward, Booker kissed her fiercely and grabbed her hips. In an instant he stripped her panties off, tossing them towards the front. Forcing her ass off the Jeep floor, he pulled her closer until she was resting on his thighs, legs spread wide around him.

She was already flushed and shaking with anticipation, and then he nudged at her entrance and she arched her back like a bow.

He took his time opening her up, sliding in inch by inch. When he bottomed out, she gasped and clutched his forearm, nails leaving red crescents deep in his skin.

“Yes, God yes,” she breathed, nodding.

Through half-shut eyes she watched him withdraw only to slam back inside her. His left hand kept her hips where he wanted, while his right reached up, squeezing her breast with just enough pressure to make her moan.

“Cae… Shit,” he grunted as he thrust.

He shook from all his restraint, but she needed more. Dragging her nails over his chest, she silently begged for him to let go.

He obliged.

Hips snapping forward, he picked up the pace until the Jeep was rocking from the force of it.

Alive. They were alive. With all the messy, complicated parts that entailed… They still had air in their lungs, still had heartbeats.

Still had each other.

Caitlin’s walls fluttered, clenching around him as she came with a broken cry.

Booker gripped her thighs hard enough to leave small bruises, and she wanted them all. He fucked her harder, growling as his climax hit, tipping him forward.

Gulping for air, face buried in her hair, Booker slowly came back to himself.

He kissed the hinge of her jaw, nosing her ear and cheek until she giggled.

“Well that’s the best car sex I’ve ever had,” she said, stroking his back.

Booker chuckled, sucking a mark into her neck. “Foldin’ seats are a miracle.”

She laughed again, and he groaned, feeling it from where he was still inside her. After a moment, he withdrew and haphazardly tucked himself back into his jeans, before laying down next to her.

Caitlin rolled to face him, and he offered himself as a pillow.

“Y’cold?” He asked, threading his fingers through her hair.

“You’re kidding right?” She kissed his chest. “Summer in Mississippi. I’ll never be cold again.”

He chuckled again, and she felt the reverberation in her own ribcage.

They laid in silence, listening to the crickets and each other’s breathing.

“Jack…”

He pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“Yeah.”

This meant something.

This really meant something.

Holding him tight, Caitlin drifted off to sleep with Booker’s heartbeat in her ear.

                                                               ***

She thought it was a dream. A vivid, intense dream concocted from the potent mix of loneliness, survival, and hormones.

And then she opened her eyes.

She was covered by one of Booker’s plaid shirts, naked underneath, and aching in every way that would indicate she had in fact fucked him in the back of the Jeep.

Booker wasn’t with her though.

Early morning light stung her sensitive eyes as she looked around. She spotted her jeans, shirt; her bra had landed on the dashboard.

Sitting up, she held the shirt to her chest and finger combed her hair. It was the first morning she’d ever woken up without Booker at her side, and it left her with a shaky feeling in her stomach.

“Jack?”

Nothing.

Caitlin pulled the shirt on, buttoning it, and slid out of the Jeep.

His rifle was gone, but everything else was where it should be. Even the few clothes they’d rinsed and left to dry on tree branches were there.

Taking stock of her surroundings, she made a list of things Booker would do, places he’d go, without waking her to tell her he was leaving.

It was a short list.

If he’d been relieving himself in the bushes, he’d have heard her and responded. So that left the pond.

Through the trees and over the slope of grassy hillside, she spotted the water glittering in the sun. The splashes gave him away.

Ducking beneath the surface, he popped back up, flinging his wet hair and scrubbing his face. He was waist deep, and from what she could tell, totally nude.

Being barefoot gave her a silent advantage, and she used it, sneaking closer to the bank and sitting down next to his clothes and rifle.

She didn’t get many opportunities to see him just… be. Not planning their route, watching for roaming Geeks, scavenging for supplies. Just being.

It felt vulnerable to her in a way she’d long thought couldn’t exist in a broken world.

She’d never been happier to be wrong.

Hugging her knees to her chest, she smiled as she waited for him to notice her.

She knew the second he did—Hand stilling as he washed his arm, head tilting just enough to spot her on the grass.

“You peepin’ on me now?” He asked, grinning.

“Maybe a little.”

Turning slowly in the water, his gaze raked over her bare legs. “How ‘bout you get in here and join me?”

“Somebody’s gotta keep watch.”

He always looked after her. Always put her safety ahead of his own. She would have done anything to return that favor, if only for a morning.

“Sayin’ I can’t multitask?”

She rolled her eyes, smile still playing at her lips. “We both know you struggle with that one.”

Wading over, his stare was predatory, but she’d never felt safer.

Gently grabbing her ankles, he pulled until her legs stretched out. She was considerably fairer skinned than he was, especially since her legs hadn’t seen daylight in two months. Wet fingers trailed over her, playing a subtle game of connect the dots with her freckles and the love bites and stubble burn he’d left on the inside of her thighs.

Rubbing his thumb over the darkest of the bruises, he glanced up at her face.

“Y’alright?”

Does it hurt?

Do you regret it?

Are we…

She cupped his jaw, brushing the corner of his mouth with her thumb, and smiled.

“Yeah.” In the sun she could see the red lines her nails had left on his shoulders and over his left pectoral. They’d marked each other.

She locked eyes with him. “You weren’t in the Jeep when I woke up.”

“You were out like a light,” he said, arching into her touch. “Didn’t have the heart to wake you.”

“You should’ve.” Her fingers toyed with the wet hair by his ear. “I was worried.”

His calloused palm skimmed up her thigh, disappearing beneath the hem of her borrowed shirt.

“’M sorry, songbird,” he murmured, kissing her wrist. “Y’gonna let me make it up to ya?”

She grinned and started undoing the few buttons she’d fastened.

Gripping her calves, he tugged her closer until her feet were in the water. “Knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“My shirt looks damn fine on you, darlin’.”

Her giggle was muffled by him leaning up to kiss her.

They had to go slow, as she was still sore, but she didn’t care. Especially when Booker was finally in her, drawing in and out languidly, making her moan each time he hit that perfect spot.

And then he pulled her leg up over his shoulder, and she was choking on a gasp.

“Beautiful, Cae,” he murmured, pressing his lips to the inside of her knee. “So beautiful.”

��Jack…” She clawed at the grass, at his bicep, desperate to hold onto something. “I’m…”

“That’s it.”

“Oh God.” She came with blinding intensity, arching her back and tossing her head against the bank of the pond.

He followed moments later, groaning her name.

Those few seconds of stillness were the closest to peace either of them had felt in months.

Dwelling in satisfaction, Caitlin stretched her legs, letting her feet submerge in the cool water. Letting her eyes close, she sighed, only to get yanked even closer to the edge of the pond by a grinning Booker. He caught her before she slid in the mud, hoisting her up and gently settling her into the water waist-deep.

Booker helped her get cleaned up, washing her hair for her and trailing kisses over the back of her neck. When he cupped her breast as she rinsed, she playfully splashed water in his face, making him laugh. They chased each other around the pond like it was their own Eden.

They’d already begun to feel like the only people on earth.

When they dried off and started back towards the Jeep, Booker handed her his plaid shirt back.

“Looks better on you,” he said, kissing her.

She waited until he wasn’t looking to bring it to her nose, breathing in his scent.

They planned as they ate.

Head to one of the highways they’d seen packed with abandoned cars, siphon as much gas as they could, scavenge food, clothes, and supplies, and start north. They’d mapped out several alternate routes in their days after leaving Alabama. If one was blocked, they had other ways to get around.

If they stuck to a strict schedule, rationed their food, and were able to find fuel along the way, they could be in New York by the end of the week.

Caitlin started to tremble. Hope… They had hope.

She might see her friends again.