#i drew this thing two months ago so it's kinda old ig

[gspot-rocks-the-gspot]

it's something childhood besties would do, right?

[safiburrito]

Okay so here’s a bunch of Goosebumps doodles like I promised, some (like two) of them are recent but most of them are one or two months old bc I never post in time so yeah, and warning, a lot of yapping below all of the images, sorry, I couldn’t control it

Zach and Champ :D yeah i was lazy to color it fully so I only colored them. Idk if there is anyone who cares about them unironically cuz I do, honestly I like Champ the most because he’s really fun, but Zach is cool too. Didn’t mention Hannah bc *I think* everyone loves Hannah, as it should be. And, about the second one, I wanted to draw Kris with Mr. Wood, but something went wrong so I only drew Kris. I drew both of these late at night, so they’re kinda messy

Random Slappys I drew in school like almost one month ago, I also drew Snappy in the first one, but I didn’t like how he turned out soooo….yes…and idek what’s happening in the second one, really, that thing is supposed to be a desk or a table

Random oldddddd doodles

And this is…..TV Slappy as Winter King and Movie Slappy as Simon Petrikov (Fionna and Cake), I had a small weird crossover with them in mind that actually kinda made sense so I immediately drew this but there is more, ig I’ll draw it later, so have this for now lol. And the second one…family time, it’s pretty old and I don’t like it but it’s kinda cute so I’ll include it too (as you see only Hannah is enjoying this)

Now….a shit ton of tags to include everyone, damn (it’s almost 3 AM, why am I not sleeping)

[dgdraws]

Artfight Postmortem

as you may know, i am prone to reflection on my art and process and progress. herein, i'm gonna navel gaze a bit about artfight 2024.

top line: really enjoyed myself, did a bunch of new things and this was "The Year of Artist Friends" which is spectacular.

i completed 20 attacks this year, including my first ever mass attacks! altogether I drew 28 different characters (incl 4 of my own).

for the first time, I had *users* i wanted to attack, rather than just characters i'd gathered via search or discord. honestly, three years ago when i picked up the stylus i was just excited at the prospect of drawing for other people, period. artfight was a cool way to be in community without prerequisites. i didn't quite dare to dream i might make some real connections and make proper friends. and yet :) here we are! i went in with three 'art friends' and i'm leaving with at least three more

in addition to being the year of artist friends, this could be "the year of clip studio paint was on megasale a week before artfight" because i knocked out like 2 practice pieces before July 1st so i wouldn't be starting with completely unfamiliar tools, but i used/learned csp for the vast majority of my attacks. one i finished in krita (lonnie), and my final attack i only used krita.

definitely trial-by-fired myself! but it motivated me to explore csp, and most important, gave me a reason to practice practice practice. last year i drew almost exclusively humans, lots of full bodys, because i wanted to get a better grip on anatomy and drawing a variety of faces. it worked then, and, well, i think i learned more of csp in one month of artfight than i would have if i was just plodding through my personal projects for 33 days :) *looks at my wip folder with months old files* pretty sure.

ok i'm gonna look at a few faves/standouts now:

came in hot with 0tt0 here! the main brush for this one (froggy pencil) was a mainstay for the whole month. so versatile!!! and lovely texture. this isn't quiiite brat green but this was what made me go, hmm, what if i... did a few pieces inspired by this album i can't stop listening to?

and then i took a huge turn and just used a soft round brush for Desa and Iryna for my dear friend @bobomcfoe bc i really wanted to turn these out in something approaching my "usual style" of late and i feared getting too deep into the temptations of csp if i put them off. and, um, yeah i love them. i got sooo close to matching that angle but ahh i can see the tilt now! nonetheless, love these two, not least bc brookie has some of the most pleasing color palettes to work w :)

then on to Rosé and baby's first vector lines! you can RESIZE lines in csp. did you know that? i didn't know that. i did forget to use it as much as i could have in later ones though, so i still only kinda know it ig. and halftone shading! bc why not? another thing i really only did this once, but want to experiment with more

Rook here, for my new friend @gender-premium-tm, was me realizing how to use filters/filter layers in csp. now THAT is something i used a lot this month! also something i use often in krita. i must say, though the csp options are slightly more limited (afaik), they have oomph!

okay these two are my "explicitly brat pieces"! artfight keeps you moving, which i find really valuable, bc i could have dithered foreverrr over Lonnie's gif here. like, do i add his arm? maybe he should be wearing a shirt? or, what if i just draw him twice, instead of splitting the expressi--see it just never ends. and as i am always going on about, art is so precious bc it is a reflection of us when we make it. maybe for some future artfight i'll redraw this (as Lonnie's artist @wenmistry did for me with Ebon this year), but for july 2024, i'm amazed at how well i executed this for just 2.5 days of work! (i did forget his glasses, which realization gave me a different take on the composition, so this is high on my list of potential redraws)

and then Aagatha. this is in my top 3 for this year. the pink just works so well with the green and her artist added the song to her character playlist AND added the necklace to her actual dnd inventory. like. omg. the impact your art can have!!! how freaking cool is that???

two mass attacks! i was in a silly goofy mood. i feel like i really got a handle on vectors w the anthro mass attack, i adjusted every single point on that one by hand. weird what hyperfocus makes you do sometimes, but i learned a lot from that. mainly that i will probably never user vectors as my main linework tool. there are circumstances it is perfect for, and outside of that i'm good w my raster lines lol

which is exactly what i used for this other mass attack, featuring mostly my ocs. hey, sometimes you need to shake things up! i can see here the style starting to hew back to my "usual style", though i'm thinking that might have a lot to do with drawing 5 people very quickly. falling back on practiced techniques. and by this time i apparently knew csp well enough to reproduce them pretty closely! ooh, one thing this made me miss was the transform tool in krita. that floor was ROUGH to wrestle into place in csp.

purple and green turned up a lot this year!

Echo is my crowning achievement with the froggy pencil, most of the shading here is just layers w that. and one last nod to brat green :)

i've worked in the paper cut style before (both my pfp's use it) but i really exploited csp's clipping layers to make Scraps here. they did make me briefly forget how they work in krita when i switched back, so well done w that

i played with gradient maps a little earlier in the month but for Okanar i actually made my own gradient! really a useful tool for ref'ing real human skin tones to make non-human ones, without muddying them up too much.

finally, Chaos. this actually might be my favorite! ironically this is the one that i made in krita. it was like, ahh, yes my old friend. wait where is the scroll bar. ah, okay, yes my old friend... the line layer is set to burn which just makes the whole thing so warm (and the cause of the red outlines on the earrings). used my old sable brush, a pattern fill set to overlay... my old stomping grounds! but plus a rendering technique i picked up this month and some other random habits i picked up in csp (like copying a detail to a new layer, moving it where i want a copy, and drawing/tracing it back onto the original layer in the new position. nothing i couldn't have been doing in krita all along, but made easier by the tool layout in csp, and therefore now discovered by me. amazing how one integrates new knowledge. it's like magic sometimes!!!)

that was a good roundup! if you actually read this to the end, wow! and thank you! i hope it was interesting... and inspiring! bc i want to read about your process and reflections too! yes you! and plz tag me, i'm always down to gush about art XD

[zoekrystall]

On a different note I made a retrospring bc only tumblr got asks and drew an icon for it at the end of last month. I really need to draw more I barely do it nowadays while child me went wild. Prob bc doodling in school just felt different jsk.

Ig meet the oc, prior insert, that I got since forever where my username everywhere comes from. Zoe's design never changed really and no thoughts behind it tbh. Ibis paint x says it took ~4 ½ hours and yes I drew it w my finger bc I don't got a drawing tablet (had one that I never used ages ago and now can't find parts of it rip). I'm really glad I finally found outhow the fuck I wanna draw eyes. I saw such shapes a lot lately and oughh I love em.

Originally a sonic oc (right one from a drawfee santa exchange ages ago, sadly the links don't work anymore idk if the artist is still called eirress who made it bc mine dipped). Love her and reg in that universe do I put the most thought in reg backstory and whatnot. As human pretty much just a representative of my accounts. She had so many fucking redesign in this universe. V much evil adjacent. Wolf even tho looks more like a fox but I didn't want to draw the snout like the official ones and puffy tail superiority so here we are. Still obsessed w how huge the tail is on the right like yes.

Literally the only thing that changed reg the human design is the hair palette and me not being sure if I really want those pink lines so that was always a yes/no thing. Plus eyes more now like by sonic w being more magenta than purple (drawing from ages ago when I doodled a lot in school). Tbh hair is still kinda "whatever I dig rn" esp when I recreate her in picrews.

Made one for iz once ages ago too

Came a long way for sure look at these old ass drawings. The amy hung in our school class (like what first or second grade) which was v sweet from our teacher 🥺. Istfg I got accused of tracing as a child a fuck ton when I didn't even knew how to do that on paper and by some like here am I just like you can't be serious sjksk. Most I did is have a pic next to me and trying to recreate it like those two (a lot w fanart which I will never share bc duh) which I can imagine a lot did.

[speci-society]

Hey I had to reference my list of low energy/sick day activities today actually! Sometimes i just wake up with a headache that doesn't go away for a whole day regardless of hydration, nutrition or like. Asprin. And i just kinda have to rest the whole day until i can sleep it off. Which happened today and i highly suggest figuring out your own personal list of go-to things! Heres my own examples, which are pretty specific to me but hopefully i explained what would be specific to You well-

- off the bat, generally my list is just doing things i know very well- whether its rewatching movies that i know every scene from or replaying games i know like the back of my hand. If you're having trouble thinking of smth to do for a low energy/sick day, think of something youre familiar with enough to where its still enjoyable, but doesn't take as much physical or mental energy. Most of my other examples are specific to me but maybe itll get ya thinking

- i have some go-to shows and movies that i know by heart, but crucially, i know where to find them. The 2004 spongebob movie I have on dvd and i've been watching like, at least once a year basically since i was a toddler, and there's a full high quality upload of the 1996 hunchback of notre dame that i watch like a video essay when im bored. Both things i can access easily that i don't have to get like, devote all my mental energy into watching and listening bc i know what happens in them, but are still satisfying bc they're also just my 2 favorite movies of all time and just happen to usually hold up on Very frequent rewatch

- similarly, my go-to games are just games i know front to back, which looks different for everyone. I don't think most people would consider Terraria or The Binding of Isaac to be relaxing, but i know like, the routine of what to do in them so well bc i've played them so, so much. But again, theyre still enjoyable bc well. Terraria is a massive sandbox game where a lot of the fun comes from what you wanna make of it, and TBoI is a roguelike that is really quick to start up a run, everything's randomized but in a familiar way (ie if you play long enough, you know what items do what and what strategies to use), most of the gameplay is just Move and Shoot Tears at Monsters, and a run ends in usually under an hour (except ig if ur going for like. Ending of Repentance but i havent gotten there yet lmfao) bc either you win or you die and boom thats that short run

- this is again, not a super wide appeal strategy I Guess bc not everyone has dolls but lately i've found that if i need an off screen sick day thing to do is to just dress my dolls up. I've got a few rainbow high dolls and a couple monster high ooaks, and if you dont know much abt rh, most dolls come with a 2nd complete outfit, so if you have a few dolls you end up with twice as many clothes and if i need to be away from a screen, sometimes i just dress up and pose my gals w their excess of clothes

- heres an art one i do sometimes!! I draw pretty often, usually at least once a day just bc i have a lot of Thoughts amd drawing is my main way to get them out. So sometimes a day comes where im feeling sick and i want to draw but can't think of smth, i'll just find smth i drew anywhere from a few months ago to several years ago and redraw it with my current skills and style. Not only does it not take energy to try and come up with something for a subject or idea, but i also really like comparing the two and seeing how ive changed! Hell i made it a bit of a tradition to redraw one sketch i made in like january 2020 just bc i did it twice already, why not like 4 more times every few months when ive got nothing else to draw? Its not for everyone, ik a lot of ppl dont like looking through their old art but if you do heres smth ig

- also, journaling! Versatile, can be on screen (if you dont have the energy to write on paper it might be easier to type) or on paper (if you have the energy to write by hand and don't wanna be at a screen). Doesn’t have to be deep. Can be if you want, if yoh have the mental energy to reflect or go think abt some Deep Shit and thats what you wanna journal abt then go for it. You can also just journal your stream of consciousness which is what i tend to do. Again, its versatile bc 1. It helps my adhd brain remember things by writing them down, 2. It gets more Thoughts outta my Head, 3. Just writing down my stream of consciousness does not take a lot of effort from me personally and is fun for me, and as a bonus, 4. Sometimes its funny to read back over later

- also wanna mention that if youve got prior plans, if you don't think you can get through them you can let ppl know. My mom and i were gonna get some things together for my grandma today and spend the morning with her, but i let hwr know i might not be able to and it worked out that doing it tomorrow worked better anyway. And i had a dnd session in the afternoon that i still wanted to be present for and thought i could (it was also online so), but i told everyone and made the compromise that i could type out all my actions and whatever id say out loud, since i knew trying to speak it for 4 hours would make me way more sick. And the session was super great!

Find things that you enjoy that require as little mental and physical energy as possible, so that when you’re drained and need a day to recover, your “recovery” isn’t just sitting in bed on TikTok for eight hours.

[nerddface]

Never Trust the Elevators

Characters: Bucky, female!reader, Tony's virtually present too

Warnings: nothing that I'm aware of

Word Count: 1930

Notes: Civil War never happened. Nope. Never. Forget about it entirely. Bucky’s brain is perfect and healthy and no combination of words will turn him into a crazy punching machine.

I apologize if Buck sounds a little OOC, Seb is nothing like his character and it’s a little harder to work out a feel from what little we’ve actually experienced of MCU Bucky (specifically non/post-Winter-Soldier-Bucky). I am trying, and I hope this suffices in some sense, although I did get a little lazy around the end of hour 2 it’s 1am as I’m editing this.

This doesn't cover all 8-12 hours, but I'm an undergrad psych major and I like to think I know how your brain works kinda sorta, so this time frame seemed a little more plausible to me in terms of sexual tension and Tony's impatience.

Based off of this (or these) (x)

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Hour 1

Elevator rides were supposed to be short. They’d always been short. They’d been no more than a couple rapid seconds when she was on the ride up to her interview a couple months ago, it was short every morning when she came up to work. It was (thank her lucky stars) short that one night Clint had too much to drink and was being helped up to his room by a slightly tipsy Natasha, and the morning that Tony had clearly not gotten adequate sleep and had quite nearly fallen over on her.

It was this knowledge that Y/N armed herself with when Bucky slid into the elevator that morning. She could survive standing in an enclosed space with her crush for sixty seconds.

She could.

Could, gould, good— good?

“Anyone awake in there?”

She jerked her head back and fluttered her lashes in surprise at the hand waving before her face. The amused smile on Bucky’s lips made her heart skip a beat.

“There you are. Good morning.”

“Oh, um, yeah, good- good morning,” she squeaked, shifting the thick strap of the bag on her shoulder. Inside her head, she was stomping a foot and throwing her head back in exasperation like a petulant child. Come on, Y/N! She could replace the teres minor flawlessly without shaking, but she couldn’t exchange causal salutations with Bucky Barnes.

Just a few more seconds…

Suddenly, the elevator shook and shrieked. Y/N braced herself against the tall handrail, hoping the audible whine from her chest would be blamed on the sudden jerking and not because Bucky’s solid arm had flashed out across her torso to steady her.

In a (pounding) heartbeat, a gentle voice spoke through the intercom—F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“It appears the elevator is experiencing a slight malfunction. You are in no danger, but it may take some time to identify and alleviate the problem.”

“Oh, God,” Y/N breathed. Bucky pulled his arm back, but it seemed hesitant.

“How much time?” he asked, settling into his own space again, with something that she dared say might have been a blush across his cheeks.

“That has yet to be determined, sergeant. When a diagnostic has been formed, I will be sure to alert you.”

F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s cool voice smoothed Y/N’s taunted fight or flight response, but spiked her heart rate up in nervous fear. They were stuck? For how long? Would she die in here? Why, oh, why did it have to be her? With him? Why couldn’t she get stuck in here with the other nurse? She was nice, and she didn’t freak her out this much.

“You seem to get lost in your thoughts often,” Bucky said, pulling her out of her head for the second time that morning.

“I’m sorry, I’m not—“she drew in a breath “—not usually like this…” she excused half-heartedly, looking away from his face to study the metal floor.

It was quiet for a moment before she heard the shuffling of cloth. Bucky slid to the floor beside her, looking up almost expectantly.

“Well, we’re stuck here for who knows how long,” he reasoned. “May as well settle in.”

She took his advice somewhat tentatively, setting her bag down beside her and smoothing her blouse across her front.

“Do you have your phone on you?” Bucky asked. Y/N furrowed her brow and nodded.

“Yeah?”

“Try calling someone. I doubt anyone knows we’re stuck here yet.”

He had a point. She shifted and tugged her phone from the front pocket of her bag. She tried Tony first—it was his building, after all—but to no avail. Clint was out for the day with Natasha, Sam was across town, and Thor didn’t have a phone at the moment (he accidentally smashed the delicate glass screen of his last one). Steve picked up and told her he’d see if there was something he could do, but he seemed strangely lax about it after she mentioned she was with Bucky and not in immediate danger.

Somewhat sated, and sitting in still awkward air, Y/N locked her phone and drew a deep breath. Looks like she was in for the long haul with this one.

Hour 2

“Can’t you just pry the door open?”

Bucky looked over at her, one brow quirked. “Sure, I guess. But we’re halfway between two floors. Best we’d open up to is a solid wall.”

Y/N pursed her lips and huffed, pulling up her knees and crossing her arms over them, letting her chin fall to her forearm.

Bucky sighed deeply. Y/N wanted to start some kind of conversation, but oh, Jesus, I can’t do that. I’m going to say something stupid.

“So, you’re a medic?”

Y/N had to unfreeze herself. “Um, yeah.”

“What made you want to do that?”

“Well… I guess I wanted to… help people? I grew up on the property next to Mr. Barton—Uh, Hawkeye—and I would help, um, remove stitches or change bandages. I was interested in how the body worked and how well it worked to heal itself, you know? Mr. B—Hawkeye mentioned working with Doctor Cho, and I’d read one of her papers, and I just couldn’t let the opportunity pass up. So… here I am.”

Bucky nodded thoughtfully. “Interesting.”

“What about you?” she asked tentatively. “Like, with the Avengers, how did you—I mean, I heard about the whole Winter Soldier thing, and there was this one time you—“ her eyes teared up a bit in embarrassment. “Oh, no, that came out all wrong, I’m sorry—“

“No, no.” he waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s alright. It’s a long story, and it’s complicated. An old friend never gave up on me, really. Not sure you’d like to hear it.”

“I’d love to hear you talk,” she murmured, before she realized what she’d said. “A-about your—um, your arm! Your arm, how does that work?”

“You want to know?” Somehow, he seemed surprised. Y/N nodded enthusiastically.

“Well..”

Hour 3

“Okay, guys, I’m getting seriously bored.”

Y/N flinched. “Tony?!”

The billionaire on the other end of the elevator intercom snorted. “Yeah, kiddo, did you think my building would actually just, kind of, malfunction like that?”

Bucky spoke up. “So you trapped us in here for what reason?”

“Ooh, you make it sound so harsh. You needed a gentle nudge, so to speak, and since the both of you could probably strangle me with two fingers or remove my beating heart from my body while I watch, I figured a metaphorical nudge from a safe distance was a better bet.”  

“Who’s to say we won’t do it anyway once we’re out of here?”

Tony chuckled. “You won’t. You know, tell you what—you two kiss, and I’ll let you go on your merry way, no strings attached. Or, maybe only a couple, like those invisible strings they use in magic shows. But! The point is, make me happy and admit that you’re in love with each other and everything will go smoothly.”

Y/N watched, almost slack-jawed, as Bucky adjusted his beautiful arms over his knees. “If we don’t?”

“Oh, please, grandpa, like either of you can hold out much longer. Or, I mean, maybe you can, in which case you wouldn’t mind staying in here for the foreseeable future, because you’re both tough, emotionally constipated, stubborn adults.”

“I-I’m not—in love with him,” Y/N protested. Tony laughed.

“Would you like me to prove it to you? Not sure if you’re both aware, but I have security cameras in every public space, I’d be happy to play back some stuff, you know, I’ve got it right over here—“

“No!”

Y/N was pretty sure it came from both of them.

Tony cackled over the intercom. Not a second later, a dreadfully familiar saxophone was siphoned through the speakers.

The noise from Y/N’s throat was something between a groan and a whine of pain. The back of her head hit the elevator wall and she brought the heels of her palms to rest over her eyes. She could be having a quiet coffee with Doctor Cho right now over some new study material, wow, did that sound nice.

“Hey, man, you’re stressing her out!” Bucky barked.

“Oh, what? What’s that? There’s been a malfunction?” the music increased in volume more, so Tony had to shout over it. “I knew F.R.I.D.A.Y. was a bust, man, if J.A.R.V.I.S. were here none of this would have—oh, dear, looks like I’m breaking up on you—!”

And then he was gone, as Careless Whisper blared over her head.

Shit.

Bucky didn’t know for sure, right? Tony could just be spouting nonsense, for all he knew. There was no way that both of them felt the same way about each other, really, just look at—

He was smiling. Why was he smiling? It was soft, gentle, almost knowing. His head was tilted just the slightest bit to the side, eyes warm, nearly smug. She blinked at him, hoping her face wasn’t as flushed as it felt. He could hear her steadily increasing heart rate, she was sure of it.

He said something, but Y/N shook her head hopelessly, resting her hands on her knees. She couldn’t hear him. He shifted closer and her head floated up to somewhere up the elevator shaft. She swallowed and tried to listen to him instead of ogling at how damn nice his face was, and how close it was to hers. She couldn’t turn towards him completely, but watched him from the corner of her eye.

“I’ve learned,” he breathed to her, “that it doesn’t do any good to just wait for something to happen.”

“What do you mean?” She wasn’t sure she wanted an answer.

His warm, gentle fingers turned her jaw to face him. He was so close she could see a tiny fleck of brown in the speared blue of his right eye.

“I think you understand.” His face got close enough that she couldn’t focus on anything anymore. She could feel his breath on her mouth, but as much as her brain might deny her feelings, it seemed as though her body couldn’t, as she found she neither could nor wanted to stop him.

“I don’t—it really—I mean—”

Bucky’s mouth stopped her rambling, and she let it. He hadn’t shaved that morning as he usually did, but his sandpapery chin was somehow incredibly pleasant. Her legs fell into a crisscross position as she relaxed into the sweet, lengthy gesture.

She didn’t realize her hands had come up to brace his chin until he pulled away. Her eyes fluttered open to see his just in focus, sparkling and contented. His hand had moved from her chin to cup her cheek, and the cold metal of his other fingers was brushing her knee.

“That was nice,” she breathed, before she could stop herself or even become aware she was saying something.

She leaned forward for another kiss before her nervousness could catch up to her sudden confidence and smother it.

“I think,” Bucky said between kisses, “that this time—Tony may escape— consequences.”

“I’m personally going to thank him,” Y/N hummed, her eyes still closed. “Who would’ve thought…?”

Before either could say anything more, Tony’s voice piped up from the intercom once more.

“Hey, newly-discovered lovebirds, so, remember when I said if you kissed I’d cut you loose? Actually… there’s an actual problem.”

“I don’t think that’s a problem anymore,” Bucky grinned as he pulled her close again.

People should get stuck in elevators with each other more often.

[dreamin-of-somewhere-else]

Happy Birthday, Sam!

Characters: Sam, Little sister!reader, Dean, Jess, John [mentioned]

Words: 2600+

A/N: So I started writing this today, without any idea in mind at all, because I completely forgot it was May 2nd today (yes it’s been a lot lately haha. In my head it’s like a month left to May, but apparently not). I just finished writing this and it’s getting kinda late, so I apologize if there’s any errors and stuff. Also, the first two parts are flashbacks, kind of. Hopefully it’ll make sense.

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You love birthdays. Always had, ever since you were a kid. And although it was fun to have your own birthday, you mostly meant other people’s birthdays. You just loved seeing smiles on their faces as you tried your best to make their special day, just that, special. It surely was something magical about that.

”(Y/N)?” Dean whispered, as his hands gently shook your narrow shoulders to awake you.

You tiredly rubbed your eyes with your fists, blinking hard to regain your vision, wanting to return to the dreamland with blue skies, funny-shaped cotton candy-like clouds and all kinds of pretty, colorful animals including unicorns with rainbow mane and tails.

”Come on,” Dean whispered again, helping you sit up in the bed. ”We gotta surprise Sammy!”

You remembered, and instantly you were wide awake and alert. Sammy’s birthday.

A small grin spread on your face as you glanced over at the other side of the bed, where you spotted Sam’s messy brown curls sticking up from underneath the covers.

You looked over at Dean, excitement written across your young features. Dean wore a similar expression, his green eyes gleaming.

You tried to get out of the bed you shared with Sam, but you were all tangled up in those same covers and almost face planted on the floor, if it hadn’t been for Dean, who caught you.

”Woah, easy there, tiger. We don’t want no nosebleeds here. Not today.” He teased you and you huffed, but not loud enough to wake Sam, who both you and Dean knew could be a light sleeper.

However, Dean took your hand in his bigger one, and led you to the table where he had placed the wrapped present, the one that you and he had bought yesterday after getting some cash from Dad.  It wasn’t a whole lot — it wasn’t like you could buy the nicest thing out there, but it was enough to get Sam something at least, so you were happy.

Now, Dean handed you the present. ”Here.”

”You want me to give it to him?” You asked, eyes round as you looked up at Dean.

Dean nodded, gently turning you around by grabbing your shoulders. ”Now, let’s go.”

You did as you were told, and waddled over to the bed, careful not to wake Sam. The present was clutched in your hands, because, you didn’t want to mess this up by dropping it or something like that.

Once you reached the bed, you crawled on top of it, inching closer to Sam. Dean did the same. You looked at each other through the dim lightning of the motel room and solemnly nodded at each other. And then you started poking at Sam, waking him up.

”Happy birthday Sammy!” You exclaimed happily, as your second to oldest brother tiredly opened his eyes, looking confused for a second.

Sam began sitting up in the bed, resting against the headboard, and meanwhile Dean reached over to turn on the light on the bedside table, enabling in you all to see each other better.  

You threw your arms around Sam’s neck, startling him with the hug. He laughed and you giggled, as he wrapped his arms around your back in response. Once you finished hugging, Dean reached over to ruffle his hair.

”Seven years, huh? How does it feel, little brother?” Dean grinned.

”Good. But maybe I’m a bit too old to be called little brother now, don’t you think?” Sam responded, looking at his freckled-faced older brother expectantly.

Dean only snickered. ”You’re always going to be my little brother, Sammy.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

Now, you took the opportunity and placed the present in Sam’s hands.

”This is for you Sammy. From me and Deanie.” You stated proudly, and watched how Sam’s eyes lit up as he laid eyes on the wrapped object in front of him.

”Open it!” Dean urged him, breaking Sam’s trance.

Sam ripped open the wrapping paper — that happened to be newspaper — and it revealed a notebook alongside with a pen. Both of them were the nicest of their kind as you and Dean could afford with Dad’s money. You were very happy with the present, since both of you knew how Sam liked to write, take notes or just scribble.

Sam looked up at you, stunned. ”Thank you, Dean. Thank you (Y/N). This is great!”

”You’re welcome!” You smiled at him.

”Now, Dad should be home soon, and we were thinking that we could go out and eat lunch when he gets back. Sounds good?” Dean asked, looking at Sam with raised eyebrows and a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

Sam grinned back, showing his pearly teeth, before pulling you both into a hug. ”Perfect.”

It was almost midnight, about to be the 2nd of May; Sam’s birthday. His 20th. The only problem — and the reason that you were up and in your car right now — was that Sam was currently in Palo Alto because he was going to Stanford. A place that currently felt like thousands upon thousands of miles away.

You sighed and gripped the steering wheel of your car tightly. You had just gotten it from Dad and Dean, and it was kind of crappy and kind of old. And not old enough to be cool, like the Impala, but it was your first car and that meant something to you. And the impending drive you were about to make actually had you a bit nervous. Firstly, because this is the furthest you had ever driven on your own, considering that your driver’s license was fairly new. You also knew that Dad was going to be angry with you.

But, last year was still fresh in your mind. The year when you for the first time weren’t there to celebrate with Sam, and you had never felt more guilty. Truth be told, you had really tried to get Dad to drive to Stanford. Asked, argued, begged, whined, reasoned, bribed and even threatened. Dean tried to help you as well. But despite that, it didn’t work.

And that happy birthday voicemail you left him from a forgotten payphone in some small town made you feel so sad.

This year it would be different though, you promised yourself, as you started the car. This year you would be there, no matter if Dad, Dean or even Sam wanted you too. Family traditions were important to you, this was one of them and no one was standing in your way — no, Dad was nowhere to be seen.

And maybe you were a little bit thrilled as well, doing something you weren’t supposed to do. Maybe breaking Dad’s rules sparked a bit of excitement in your chest. Must’ve gotten that from Sammy, you concluded before stepping on the gas.

After a long night’s drive you made it to Palo Alto. Soon you found Sam’s apartment, and after a quick shaking off the nerves-dance and a deep breath, you rung the bell. Opened the door did a tall blonde, who looked at you with confused blue eyes. You must have worn about the same look as well, but soon enough it clicked for you. This must be Jess. Sam talked about her the last time you spoke on the phone, but that was a while ago. By the time you had realized, she was smiling at you.

”You’re Sam’s little sister, aren’t you?”

You nodded and grinned back at her, and before you knew it she had dragged you inside. She informed you that Sam wasn’t home but would be soon, that she had a cake prepared, and that she was planning on hiding and then surprising him when he entered the apartment. You excitedly agreed although you still felt a sting in your chest. You never had been able to do so much for Sam’s (or Dean’s) birthdays, with your limited resources all throughout your childhood, and well, now too. You shook the feeling off though.

Soon enough, the door opened and you and Jess jumped out of your hiding spots. Sam let out a yelp that made you laugh. And it was that laugh that got Sam’s attention and his eyes drew to you, and you alone. When your eyes met your heart clutched in longing since it’s been so long you actually met, and bliss to finally reunite. Your eyes almost watered and you almost cursed (because why are you so dang emotional?) but then you realized that his did too. It was okay.

”(Y/N)?” He asked in disbelief, hazel eyes wide. ”You’re here…”

Before you even could answer, he was making his way over to you, and soon his arms were wrapped around you, his chin on top of your head. The hug was almost suffocating, but it felt amazing. Finally, you were able to hug Sam, your big brother and role model that you were so proud of, again. You only wished that the rest of your family were here.

Soon, Sam released his grip ever so slightly, just enough so that he could look at you.

”Hey, have you gotten taller?” He questioned, one eyebrow raised as a grin played on his face.

”Oh, come on Sam, that’s such a grandma question.” You responded, playfully giving him a shove in the side. He just laughed.

”Okay, but, seriously. How did you get here?” Sam then wondered, sincerely looking confused, as he acknowledge the absence of Dean and Dad.

You almost didn’t noticed that slightly disappointed look when he definitely saw that his older brother and his father weren’t hiding behind the couch or curtain like you and Jess had, they just weren’t here at all.

”I drove.” You answered rather quickly, with a lighthearted tone, to bring Sam back from his thoughts.

”You drove?”

”I drove.”

When Sam only stared at you, you reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out your wallet, in which you had your fresh license.

”Wow,” Sam blurted out once you had shown it to him. ”You’re getting old.”

”Says the guy that’s more than 3 years older than me,” you retorted smugly.

Sam gave you the bitch-face and you laughed. It always had, and always would crack you up.

”So, how long was the drive? Don’t tell me you were driving all night.”

So, you remained quiet. Sam quickly caught on.

”Aw, (Y/N)!” He exclaimed in a disagreeing tone, his eyebrows curling upwards. ”You shouldn’t have done that. It’s hard driving that far, for such a long time, and you’ve just gotten you license, and what if you had, ah, gotten into an accident…”

”Sam—” you interrupted, a small smile on your lips, as you grabbed his hand. ”I’m here and I’m fine. Quit worrying. I wanted to be here. It was my choice.”

”Fine.” He nodded, bangs falling into his eyes. ”But, let me guess, Dean and Dad don’t know you’re here.”

”No,” you admitted. Sam sighed. ”They’re hunting.”

”And why aren’t you with them?” He then asked, knowingly.

He really could read you like a book, couldn’t he?

”(Y/N)?” Sam pressed.

You rolled your eyes, and lifted your shirt, just enough to reveal the white gauze pads taped onto your stomach.

”Wait, no…” Sam’s eyes went wide.

”Sam!” You caught his attention. ”It’s almost healed, promise. I’m supposed to join them on their next hunt.”

Sam stared at you with round eyes, still. ”You’re crazy.”

”So are you.” You smiled.

Sam rolled his eyes, just like you had done a moment before. But then he cracked and ruffled your hair, your smile rubbing of on him.

Click!

Both of you turned your heads to where the sound had come from, and there was Jess, polaroid camera at the ready in one hand, and a developing picture in the other. You hadn’t even noticed her leaving and coming back with the camera.

”Got you!” She grinned contently at you and Sam.

Sam looked at you and laughed. You did too.

”Hey,” you said, removing Sam’s arm from your shoulders, ”do you want me to take a picture of you two?”

”Yeah,” Jess nodded and smiled as she handed over the camera to you. ”That would be nice.”

As Jess walked over to Sam, you adjusted the camera, looking through the viewfinder at the happy couple. You smiled at the sight, they were so cute and seeing your brother so content was the best thing ever, you were so happy for them.

”Okay, ready?” You called out to them.

”Yes!” Both of them beamed.

”One, two, three, cheese!”

Three tired Winchester siblings walked down the stairs to the bunker. You all had been beaten up pretty badly this hunt, and moved rather slowly, muscles aching, wounds pounding in pain. You all were beyond tired. That didn't change the fact that it was Sam’s birthday, though.

Most of it had been spent in the car. And no matter how old you were, that kind of sucked. You knew, because a few of yours had ended up looked like that as well.

You felt bad. Because you had planned something else than this. You had been thinking about taking him to a beach to just relax, or to the mountains to hike, or even to some museum if that’s what he wanted, as Sam always seemed to thirst for knowledge. Or, a movie night at the bunker didn’t sound too wrong either.

But no, always, always something came up. You three had devoted your lives to hunting and sometimes it just felt it took every last good moment away from you. You couldn’t just have one calm day to yourselves.

So, here you were back in the bunker, with another birthday lost to the hunt. You sighed inwardly.

Sam sat down at the table of the large hall of the bunker. Meanwhile, you gestured to Dean to follow you into the kitchen. Once reaching the room, you searched the cabinets and cupboards for anything remotely festive, but there really wasn’t anything besides a few beers, that Dean picked up.

”Seems like this is it.” He looked at the bottles in his hands, and then at you.

You nodded disappointedly. ”Yeah, seems like it.”

Then you both made your way back to the hall and Sam, who despite everything smiled when Dean handed him the glass bottle.

”Happy birthday, man.”

”Thanks,” Sam looked up at Dean from where he was sitting, taking off the cap with his bare hands.

Dean did the same to his bottle before he sat down next to where you had. Then he grabbed your bottle and did the same, knowing that you weren’t too good at that trick.

You briefly smiled at him as a thanks, before turning back to Sam.

”Happy birthday, Sammy. I’m sorry it turned out this way.”

”Firstly, it’s okay, but it’s also not either of you guys’ fault.” Sam objected, his hazel gaze meeting first Dean’s and then yours as he reassured you of his words.

”But—” you stared, never getting further.

”Really, it’s okay. Because, we are alive. We are here. You guys are here, by my side. We’re about as happy as our kind of people gets. At least, I’m happy with this. Right now, this is all I want. Us together, alive.”

You didn’t even realize that Sam’s words had you tearing up until you felt something rolling down your face, tickling your cheeks.

Trying not to wince, hiding the pain from your expression, your rose to your feet, and walked over to where Sam was seated. From behind you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving him a warm, loving hug.

”Sam, you’re amazing. I don’t say that enough. You one of the absolute best to ever walk this planet, I’m telling you.”

You couldn’t see Sam from straight ahead, but the dimples shoving on his cheeks, revealed that he was smiling.

You looked over at Dean, who smiled at you and Sam, before nodding at you, once.

”We, Dean and I, are proud of you. And we love you. Happy birthday, Sam. You’re the best. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Tags: @winchesters-favorite-girl​, @27bmm​, @jensen-jarpad​, @straightasdeanwinchester​ 

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