#i drafted three comics in the span of 2 hours

[lil-vibes]

duality of 🐑

[becomethevoidstuff]

Commissions

I’m starting to freelance as a second job to help others with their work as well as improve my skills for the future. You can also DM me or email at jasmlove01@gmail.com if you would like more details or have any questions.

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Services and Descriptions

Proofreader: review content for the client in order to correct spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation with suggestions for improvement of the text

Developmental Editor: work alongside the client to assist in the development of the project until completion (i.e. a webcomic)

Fact-Checker: cross-reference factual assertions in nonfiction texts and checking the correctness of said facts for the client 

Researcher: a systematic investigation on a provided subject(s) for the client

Transcriber: listen to a provided audio clip and write down what is heard with feedback attached for the client

English Language Assistance: review content and provide feedback on the client’s usage of the English language (open to both native and nonnative English speakers)

Spanish-English Translation: translate a text from English to Spanish AND/OR Spanish to English for the client

Spanish-English Transcription: listen to a provided audio clip and translate it from English to Spanish AND/OR Spanish to English with feedback attached for the client 

Education

Bachelor of Arts, May 2019

Major: English

Minor: Criminal Justice

Experience

Understanding of the Spanish language

Spanish learning during my undergraduate degree program (2014-2019)

Elementary Spanish I (Span 101 - Fall 2015) - Final Grade: A

Elementary Spanish II (Span 102 - Spring 2016) - Final Grade: A

Intermediate Spanish (Span 201 - Fall 2016) - Final Grade: B

Spanish Phonetics and Conversation (Span 301 - Spring 2017) - Final Grade: B

Tutoring (January - May 2017)

assisted three upperclassmen to increase their understanding and memorization of Spanish for this semester

Customer Translation Assistance (Since Fall 2015)

With my primary job as an assistant manager in the fast-food industry, I have helped my co-workers and customers alike better communicate with Spanish-English assistance in order to improve their dining experience at our location.

Research analysis and methods 

Since Fall 2014, my degree program has trained me to accurately examine large amounts of information while also analyzing the contents of said information for accuracy and relevance to the subject matter.

Editor and Research Assistance For Long-Term Projects

Webcomic Script Editor (Since July 2017)

I assist Jesse Adams with her multiple web-comics by analyzing rough drafts of the written script and sketched panels. I then offer critique, suggestions, and improve the works via editing and proofreading.

Notes on Prices

I go by 250 words per page in my calculations, so please keep that in mind for your request!

Discuss with me the details with your request and we can figure out the final costs before I start the project.

My prices use the unit USD (United States Dollars) for currency.

Prices

Proofreader ($20 - $25/hr)

Or 8 cents per word

Developmental Editor ($20 - $25/hr)

Or 8 cents per word

$5 research fee if applicable

Fact-Checker ($10 - $15/hr)

$5 research fee is NOT included in the hourly pay

Final Price Includes . . .

Research fee + hourly pay

Researcher ($20 - $25/hr)

$5 research fee is NOT included in the hourly pay

Final Price Includes . . . 

Research fee + hourly pay

Transcriber ($10 - $20/hr)

$2/audio minute is NOT included in the hourly pay

Final Price Includes . . .

Audio minutes + hourly pay

English Language Assistance ($10 - $15/hr)

Can include audio AND/OR written word

Will be charged accordingly

Spanish-English Translation ($10 - $15/hr)

Or 10 cents per word

Spanish-English Transcription ($20 - $30/hr)

$2.50/audio minute is NOT included in the hourly pay

Final Price Includes . . .

Audio minutes + hourly pay

Additional Fees To Pay Attention To!

NSFW (Not Safe for Work) Content = $8 added to the final price

5% overall tax for time and labor

Pay per audio minute for Transcribing!

$5 research fee to cover research expenses!

$3 document transfer fee if documents are NOT Microsoft Word!

Required Materials To Begin

Contact Information

Can include Tumblr, Twitter or Instagram for quick contact between all parties involved

But email must still the primary way of contact for the document transfers

Project Information

Details for your commission

Document Programs

Microsoft Word is preferable

With said document attached to your email as needed

I will still work with you if the document is NOT Microsoft Word. Please be aware of the document transfer fee that will be included.

How It All Works

You contact me with your proposition.

Then, I receive every detail necessary for your commission

Can include (but not limited to): Deadlines, problem areas, questions.

Send the document my way via email.

We calculate the prices and come to an agreement.

After the initial payment, I work on the assignment.

I will then need the rest of the payment once I complete the assignment.

After the final payment, I will send the completed commission back to you!

Payment

Only PayPal OR Ko-fi payments accepted

No full refunds

If you pay in full the first time, you have nothing to worry about!

Tips are not included in your invoice but are highly appreciated!

The initial payment is after the final price calculations are agreed upon.

Any commissions (+$25) are to be paid in full OR in 2 or more payments.

Fees are to be paid before the final work is returned to the client.

Final payment must be paid before the final work is sent back! 

The first payment must be between 24-120 hours (1-5 days) after the final prices are agreed upon. 

The final payment must be paid between 24-72 hours (1-3 days) or no final work returned.

Disclaimer: All types of written works are open to my services. However, when I receive your request, I reserve the right to decline your request. My professional critique of your submission is not indicative of any form of discrimination towards you or your submission.

[buzzdixonwriter]

The Rise Of Skywalker Review [SPOILERICIOUS]

=0=

I’m going to post all the SPOILER stuff way below in section 3, so as not to ruin anything for anybody who hasn’t seen the movie yet.

You’ll get plenty of warnings.

=1=

In my old age I’m starting to divide creative works into three groups:  Good, bad, and not-so-good.

A good creative work is any where the strengths overwhelmingly outweigh the weaknesses; a bad one is the obverse.

A not-so-good work is one where the strengths and weaknesses balance each other out.

It’s the kind of a work that will doubtless please those audience members who really enjoy the strengths in it, and equally irritate those annoyed by the weaknesses.

In my estimation, a not-so-good work is one done with straight forward intent and as often as not, a fair degree of technical and aesthetic competency, but fails to jell as a cohesive whole.  

No one need feel ashamed for enjoying a not-so-good work, and no one involved in the making of a not-so-good work should feel bad about their contribution (unless, of course, their contribution turns out to be one of the weaknesses that should have been avoided).

Theodore Sturgeon famously observed “90% of everything is crap.”

I think that’s a little harsh.

I agree with him that only 10% of anything is good, but think only 40% falls into the crap bin.

Most stuff falls in the 50% I call not-so-good.

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise Of Skywalker is in that 50%.

. . .

The good stuff is really good.

Elsewhere I’ve posted my enthusiasm for Star Wars Episode VII:  The Force Awakens and Star Wars Episode VIII:  The Last Jedi hinge in no small part on just how emo Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) could get, and holy cow, does he ever deliver in The Rise Of Skywalker.

Easily my favorite parts of the picture.

Doesn’t really mesh with anything else in the movie but, hey, ya can’t have everything, right?  (I’ll discuss his performance in a little more detail in section =3=.)

Other performances range from adequate to doing-the-best-they-can-with-the-material to okay-smartass-you-try-recreating-a-dead-actress-via-CGI.

The dialog in The Rise Of Skywalker is the worst of any film in the series, with the possible exception Star Wars Episode III:  The Revenge Of The Sith, which I haven’t seen and have no intention of seeing (but more on that below…).

It’s not an attempt to depict characters talking, it’s a series of shouted declarative sentences.

Elsewhere I’ve referred to The Rise Of Skywalker as the best Jason Of Star Command episode ever made.

For those who don’t get the reference, Jason Of Star Command was a low budget albeit imaginative Saturday morning kid-vid Star Wars rip off by Filmation Studios.

To make sure the youngest kids in the audience understood what was going on, they tended to hammer home plot points repeatedly.

  DRAGOS Jason!  In just sixteen hours my space fleet will destroy Star Command!

  STAR COMMAND Jason!  Dragos is going to destroy us with his space fleet in just sixteen hours!

  JASON Don’t worry, Star Command!  I’ll stop Dragos from destroying you with his space fleet in sixteen hours.

  NARRATOR (i.e., Norm Prescott) Jason has only sixteen hours to stop Dragos from destroying Star Command with his space fleet!

  There is far too much of that in The Rise Of Skywalker.

Ten minutes into the movie, and there was already far too much of that…

The opening credit crawl reveals an off camera plot development that literally deserved an entire film of its own to fully explore.

There is no sustained coherent plot to The Rise Of Skywalker:  

Well, we gotta do this,

now we gotta do that,

first we gotta find this thing,

then we gotta find that thing,

now I’m feeling blue,

now I’m gonna get encouraged,

etc., etc., and of course, etc.

Everything feel frenetic, not fast paced.

There are far too many scenes that exist just to sell action figures and toy vehicles.

There was a desire to tie off loose ends and say good-bye to favorite characters and that was a mistake.

It undercuts the urgency of the story (or rather, the desired urgency; the fact the film is called The Rise Of Skywalker means everybody in the freakin’ audience ALREADY KNOWS HOW THE DAMN THING IS GONNA END!

(This is not a problem unique to Star Wars.  Gene Siskell famously upbraided Roger Ebert for spoiling the ending to the third Star Trek movie, to which Ebert retorted, “Oh, come on!  They’re going to call a forty million dollar movie The Search For Spock and not find him?!?!?”)

There is one nice little breather scene (“little” only in screen time; visually it’s pretty big and impressive):  The Festival of the Ancestors on the desert world Pasaana that gives a nice touch of exotic space opera flavor to the proceedings.

All of the Star Wars movies offer really great art direction and visual design, and The Rise Of Skywalker certainly delivers in that category.

Which makes the occasional mediocre special effects shots all the more obvious.

The Rise Of Skywalker has a few painfully obvious matte shots, a few shots obviously composed in post-production, and a few shots where the audience becomes aware the actors are performing in front of a greenscreen. 

You can get away with mediocre visuals so long as there is consistency in their mediocrity.  

If everything else consistently looks great, a so-so shot spoils the illusion; if everything consistently looks so-so, it’s simply part of the work’s look.

Indeed, you’re better off with consistently mediocre work highlighted by a few great shots than consistently great stuff undercut by a few mediocre ones.

Best thing about the movie is the complete lack of Jar Jar Binks.

=2=

Before diving deeper in The Rise Of Skywalker, let’s look at the series as a whole (just the numbered theatrical episodes, not standalone films, TV series, video games, comics, novels, etc.).

I’ve said the original Star Wars was the movie an entire generation had been waiting all their lives to see.

George Lucas wanted to do Flash Gordon but when Universal turned him down, created his own space opera.

Lucas, it needs be noted, is not a good writer.

Whatever visual talents he has, they don’t extend to telling a good story.

One can easily find early drafts of Star Wars online, and while they all share certain elements, they’re all pretty bad.

The development of Star Wars the movie grew organically with storyboard and production art, characters and incidents changing and evolving along the way.

It’s long been rumored that a more skilled writer than Lucas came in to do the final draft; one thing’s for sure, the shooting script is head and shoulders above the earlier drafts.

Star Wars the original Han-shoots-first-dammit theatrical release is very much a product of the 1970s.

20th Century Fox thought they had a good enough kiddee matinee movie for summer release; they expected their big sci-fi blockbuster of the year to be Damnation Alley.

Instead, they hit a nerve and found themselves with a blockbuster on their hands.

Lucas did show one great example of foresight:  He trademarked all the names / characters / vehicles and held the licenses on them, not 20th Century Fox.

This gave him the war chest he needed to build the Lucasfilm empire.

And let’s give Lucas and his crew their due:  They added immeasurably to the technical art of film making, as well as making several entertaining films.

What Lucas did not fully envision was how to mold his Star Wars material into a coherent and thematically cohesive saga.

He started out with grandiose plans -- four trilogies with a standalone film connecting each for a total of 15 movies -- but that gradually got whittled down to 12, then 9.

After Star Wars Episode VI:  The Return Of The Jedi, Lucas put the Star Wars movie series on hold, waiting for film making technology to develop to the point where he could tell the stories the way he wanted to tell them.

Okay, fair enough.

But the problem is that while the film making technology improved, the technology of the Star Wars universe didn’t.

As I said, the original Star Wars is very much a 70s movie in taste / tone / style / sensibility.

While the designs look sufficiently sci-fi, they reflect robots and spacecraft designs of the 1970s -- in fact, even earlier in many cases.

That fit in with Lucas’ “used universe” look and the tag line “A long ago in a galaxy far, far away...”

But compare the original Star Wars with Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Kubrick spent a lot of time researching where technology was heading.

Long before visual displays and vector graphics became commonplace in real world aircraft, he showed them being used in the future.

The first example of what we refer to today as a computer tablet appeared in 2001 as a throwaway background detail.

Kubrick’s next film was A Clockwork Orange and he successfully predicted punk culture a decade ahead of reality (his only mistake being the assumption white, not black, would be the base color).

Star Wars Eps I - III take place a generation before the original Star Wars movie.

Star Wars Eps VII - IX take place a generation after.

Name a two generation span since the start of the industrial age that is not marked by radical technological change that produces an ensuing change in the social order.

Now I grant you, the Star Wars universe isn’t trying to tell that kind of story, but the story it is telling is static.

Characters in The Rise Of Skywalker talk about cloning as if it were A Really Big Deal.

Cloning today is cutting edge bio-tech, to be sure, but it’s already common place.

It’s as if the Star Wars characters were getting worked up over steam engines.

One can intercut scenes from the movies and, unless one is a familiar with each movie, it’s impossible to tell one film from another.

Lucas’ financial success enabled him to issue edicts re Star Wars (and other Lucasfilm projects) that undercut the strengths of his projects.

Lucas is a technological guru and a savvy businessman, but he really struggles to tell a story.

Frankly, I think he would have been a better film maker if he’d spent a decade or so making American Graffiti scale movies, not space operas and epic fantasies and adventure movies.

His decision to make the original Star Wars the fourth episode in his saga and going back to start his story with his villain was fatally flawed.

I grant following the Skywalker saga from Anakin to Luke to Rey could work if it started with Anakin.

But what he did was the equivalent of the James Bond movies jumping back in time to follow the pre-Bond career of Ernst Stavo Blofeld.

(And the Bond movies, at least up until the Daniel Craig era, are all standalone films insofar as one does not have to see any of the previous films to understand and enjoy the one being watched, not does the sequence they’re viewed in matter.  And the Craig films were conceived from the beginning as having a coherent overall arc, so in that case they are the exception to the rule.)

The joyous whiz-bang space opera of the original Star Wars got bogged down in a lot of meaningless politics and talks of trade treaties, none of which explained why anyone would want to conquer the universe in order to rule it as a decrepit, diseased dictator in a dark hole.

Look at Hitler and Stalin and Castro and Mao and the Kim family in North Korea.

These guys enjoyed themselves (well, Hitler did until things went south for him).  They loved the attention and went around preening themselves in public.

The off screen Empire (and implied Emperor) of the original Star Wars served that film well:  It was a story about a tactical conflict, not a treatise on the philosophy of governance.

Lucas’ universe does not make sense even in its own context.

And because of that, it becomes harder and harder to fully engage with it.

A sci-fi movie doesn’t have to explain everything, but it has to at least imply there is an underlying order that links up.

Lucas began subverting his own universe almost immediately.

The Force was originally presented as a spiritual discipline that any sufficiently dedicated intelligent being could gain access to.  (Robots seem to be specifically excluded from The Force, implying it needs a biological connection.  But that would seem to exclude intelligences that may not be organic in the commonly accepted sense of the word, which means such beings cannot appear in the Star Wars universe, which means…well, I digress…)

That was a big hunk of the original Star Wars’ appeal, the thought that literally anybody could become a Jedi if they so desired.

It speaks to a religious bent in audiences from many different cultures around the world, and it offers up an egalitarian hope that allows everyone access to the Star Wars fantasy (“fantasy” in this context meaning the shared ideal).

But already in Star Wars Episode V:  The Empire Strikes Back Lucas began betraying his original concept, sowing the seeds for self-serving deception and innate superiority as endemic in The Force.

By the time he got around to Star Wars Episode I:  The Phantom Menace, Lucas abandoned the hope established in the original Star Wars movie.

Now one has to be a special somebody, not just dedicated.

Mind you, that sort of story has its adherents, too.

Way back in the 1940s sci-fi fans were saying “Fans are slans” in order to claim superiority over “mundanes”.  Today many Harry Potter fans like to think of themselves as inherently superior to “Muggles”. 

It’s a very appealing idea, so appealing that the United States of America is based on it, the assumption being that white people are endowed with more blessings -- and therefore more rights -- than non-white people (add force multipliers such as “rich” / “male” / “Christian” / “straight” and you get to lord it over everybody).

Lucas with his stupid midichlorians robbed audiences of their healthy egalitarian fantasy and replaced it with a far more toxic elitism.

It appeals to the narcissistic stain in the human soul, and encourages dominance and bullying and cruelty and harm as a result.

It’s an elitism that requires a technologically and sociologically stagnant society, one where clones and robots and slaves can all co-exist and nobody points out they are all essentially the same thing.

A progressive society -- and here I use “progressive” strictly in a scientific and technological sense (though as stated above, advances in scientific fields invariably lead to changes elsewhere) -- does not let such conditions exist unchanged for generations.

As technology changes and improves, the culture/s around it change (and hopefully improve, too).

As I mentioned above, I’ve never seen Star Wars Episode III:  Revenge Of The Sith.

My reason for not seeing it?  Star Wars Episode II:  Attack Of The Clones.

Little Anakin Skywalker and his mom are slaves in The Phantom Menace.

He saves the Jedis and Princess Padame’s collective asses in that movie.

Okay, you’d think at the end of the movie that Padame would hand Qui-gon her ATM card and say, “Here, go back to Tatooine and bail the kid’s mom out.  He did a solid for us, it’s the least we can do for him.”

No, they leave her there because there is no desire to change the underlying social order of their universe.

There can be no changes in Lucas’ bleak, barren moral universe.

There can be no help, no hope, no improvement.

When an edict is issue -- be it Jedi council or Emperor (or president of Lucasfilm) -- it is to be obeyed without question or pause.

Daring to say one can change their status -- change their destiny -- results in tragedy (and ironically, proof that is their destiny).

It’s dismaying enough that a large number of people enjoy cosplaying Star Wars villains, especially storm troopers, as that seems to indicate they’re missing the whole point of why the rebels were striving against the Empire in the first place.

Originally that could be written off as (at best) just enjoying the cool costumes and props or (at worst) finding an excuse for bad behavior (i.e., “I vuz only followink orders”).

But Lucas’ tacitly endorsing a sense of innate superiority pretty much destroys everything about The Force that the original Star Wars audience found enlightening and ennobling.

The Star Wars universe has become at its core a very ugly thing, and The Rise Of Skywalker doesn’t really clean it up.

SPOILERS ahead.

=3= 

Seriously, SPOILERS follow.

Holy crap, The Rise Of Skywalker is a damn mess.

Nice eye candy, but a mess.

It pretty much undoes everything good in the previous two episodes.

I’m glad it’s the “official” end of the original saga because now I never need to see another Star Wars movie ever again.

(Oh, I’ll keep my DVD of the original Star Wars and if I find Solo in a bargain bin somewhere I might pick that up, but as far as the rest of Star Wars goes, I am D.O.N.E.)

The series stopped making sense long ago, so I’m really in no mood to analyze why nothing links up or really works.

It’s full of absurd, stupid ideas, such as space barbarians galloping across the deck of a star destroyed on their space horsies.

The whole back and forth between among Palpatine / Kylo / Rey goes on for two long.  If hating somebody is bad because it sucks you over to the Dark Side, then why doesn’t somebody start building Terminators that can track down beings with midichlorians and kill them?  (They’ve got the technology to detect midichlorians, that’s canon.)

It’s not anywhere near a good movie.  It’s not as bad as George Lucas’ Star Wars Episodes I - III, but it’s clearly the worst of the last trilogy.

The scene where Rey gets off camera encouragement from all the dead Jedi?  It seemed awfully familiar to me, as if the writers consciously or unconsciously remembered the John Wilkes Booth / Lee Harvey Oswald scene in Stephen Sondheim’s Assassins where all the presidential assassins and would-be assassins past and future encourage him to plug Kennedy.

Not what I want in a Star Wars movie.

I think we may be seeing the end of Star Wars.  It’s been crammed down our throats for too long.  I’m aware of The Mandalorian series and how insanely popular it is, but y’know, sooner or later every pop culture craze dies out.

Star Wars has nowhere to go.  Star Trek is hemmed in, too, but nowhere nearly as bad as Star Wars.

We’re about to enter a generational shift in America, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a badly dated 1970s sci-fi concept fails to make the cut.

It ends on a frustrating note, taking much too long to come to a close, far too much self-congratulatory bullshit, and the deliberate planting of clues for a future set of sequels should the Mouse start jonesin’ for that sweet, sweet Star Wars franchise money fix.

It’s a really bad script, and dragging Carrie Fisher’s digitally reanimated corpse into it and then killing her off by suicide is a damned stupid / offensive idea.

Mark Hamill’s ghost walking out of the flames of Jedi hell (thank you for that analogy, David Brin)?  Wow, who didn’t see that one marching down the avenue?

Harrison Ford coming back as a memory / hallucination to tell Kylo to do the right thing?  Skrue dat noiz.

(Though I have to say Kylo Ren is the best thing about the movie and his character turn parallels both Luke’s and Vader’s in The Return Of The Jedi only his is much more believable and poignant so dammit, Disney, you could have done a much better job with this movie than you did.)

The plot and pacing is straight out of a video game.  First do this, then do that, now ya gotta do another thing -- feh!

And unless I misheard the dialog, this whole film supposedly takes place over a span of sixteen hours!!! 

They visit a half dozen worlds, crash and repair spaceships, go undercover, get captured and escape, fight duels to the deal -- all in sixteen hours?!?!?

Yeesh.

And I’ll say this, the last line is wrong wrong WRONG.

If the Star Wars saga has taught us anything, it’s that Force users are a threat to everything.

They should be eliminated for the good of the universe.

Rey shouldn’t have buried the Skywalker lightsabers.

She should have destroyed them -- and the one she made, and any others she found lying around.

And when she’s asked at the very end what her name is, the answer should have been:  “Rey…just Rey.”

I know I put The Rise Of Skywalker in the not-so-good bin, but truth be told, that’s the nostalgia talking; it’s only a eyelash away from being bad.

The whole epic saga is a failure as far as I’m concerned.  One and done is the way to go; the moment it started making money as a toy franchise it went south.

  © Buzz Dixon

[tghjuxqtf07-blog]

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[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[recentanimenews]

The Life and Death of Dragonball Evolution

  In the fall of 1998, just a few months before Kids' WB gained a record-breaking hit with Pokemon, Cartoon Network made their own landmark anime acquisition: Dragon Ball Z. For a series that would soon become synonymous with the medium of anime itself in America, Dragon Ball Z hadn't exactly had a smooth time making a name for itself in the states. Its first dub had run for two seasons and then been canceled as broadcast syndication companies just didn't seem too thrilled about it and others wanted to focus their attention elsewhere, leaving Goku homeless — a Saiyan without a channel.

  Cartoon Network began to air reruns on weekdays and ordered more episodes to be dubbed due to their success. Soon Dragon Ball Z began to make a splash in the home video market, breaking the Top 10 in video sales at times. In the span of a few years, Dragon Ball Z went from seemingly being a lost cause to a household name, as for many, Dragon Ball Z wasn't just another anime series. It WAS anime. And this, like with anything that becomes popular in the entertainment world, attracted some outside attention.

  $100 million worth of attention, to be exact.

  What followed would lead to one of the most infamous anime adaptations ever: Dragonball Evolution, a movie that remains decried by anime fans and its own filmmakers to this day. Its story is not a simple one, but one that deserves to be told.

  Part 1: Big Screen Dreams

  In March 2002, Twentieth Century Fox announced that they'd gathered the rights to make a live-action version of Dragon Ball Z, one that they planned to spend $100 million on. Now, Fox was no stranger to big action blockbusters based on comics. In 2000, they'd released X-Men, which gathered solid reviews and made nearly $300 million worldwide. Along with Blade, this signaled a comeback tour for superhero films, a genre that seemed in dire need of a reboot after the immense critical failure of 1997's Batman & Robin.

  Fox had big franchise plans for X-Men and began formulating the same for Dragonball — along with plans for other Shonen Jump series. And to show that they intended on making something that lived up to the grandeur of the work it was based on, they enlisted Dragonball creator Akira Toriyama as creative consultant, with Toriyama saying, "I have always drawn my manga with the desire to create something unique to comics ... But recent movies have surprised us by entering such territory that used to belong only to comics with wonderful technology and wisdom."

    But while a promise of a $100 million smash would seem to indicate a quick push forward, it wasn't to be. In fact, over two years went by before a screenwriter was announced. Ben Ramsey, who had written The Big Hit for Sony and was now working on adapting Luke Cage for them (this film would never end up being made), signed on to write Dragon Ball Z.

  This was long before Disney and Marvel began to gather all of their heroes under one Mickey Mouse shaped umbrella, by the way. Just a few years earlier, Marvel had declared bankruptcy and then offered EVERY property they had to Sony for only $25 million (To put that in perspective, Robert Downey Jr. would be paid $50 million just to be in the first Avengers.) Sony wasn't interested, of course. They usually only have eyes for Spider-Man.

  Ramsey was paid half a million for the script — of which the original version seems to attempt to flesh out the world of Dragonball. Krillin was there (for a little bit), and so was Pilaf, the Ox King, Oolong, and many others. In fact, a bunch of the more fantastical elements from the original Dragonball series at least made cameo appearances, even if their roles and designs seemed to be drastically altered for a live-action film.

  Ramsey seemed like a good fit for a Dragonball film. He's a big fan of martial arts movies like Enter the Dragon and actors like Bruce Lee and Sonny Chiba. He'd also eventually direct martial artist/actor Michael Jai White in the supremely underrated underground fight flick Blood and Bone. And a few years later, Dragonball would gain a man with plenty of credentials in the world of martial arts cinema: Stephen Chow.

    Most people know Chow from the martial arts parody films he directed like Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer, films that, while funny, also display a deep love for and knowledge of martial arts flicks. It had all come after starring in copious Hong Kong action and comedy films in the '90s, and considering the tone of Dragonball, Chow seemed uniquely suited to oversee such a project. But Chow would not be directing it, as he preferred to only direct things that he had created.

  Chow would sit in the producer's role and instead, 20th Century Fox would hand the directing duties to James Wong, who was fresh off of Final Destination 3. He'd also directed the first Final Destination and the Jet Li sci-fi/action film The One, but admitted that he wasn't very familiar with Dragonball at the start. He dug the script, but only became truly enthusiastic about the prospect of the movie after being sent some of Toriyama's manga, which he considered "amazing." In fact, before reading the manga, he revealed that he didn't know "what to do with this thing."

  He also wanted to "incorporate some hip hop or dance moves" into the fight scenes of the film, finding that they made things more fun. That claim remains questionable.

  The actors were also set around this time, with 25-year-old Justin Chatwin playing the 18-year-old Goku, James Marsters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame playing Goku's enemy/rival Piccolo, and the legendary Chow Yun-Fat playing Master Roshi. And then finally, in November 2007, five-and-a-half years after Fox's original statement, the beginning of Dragonball's filming was announced. Immediately, something seemed off.

  Part 2: The Hero's Journey

  In the Variety announcement article, it explained that while Ben Ramsey wrote an earlier draft, James Wong would be directing a script that he wrote. Now, this is not uncommon in Hollywood. Plenty of directors take a sort of editing stab at their screenwriter's material. What makes it odd, though, is that in the end, Wong would not be credited for the script that he "penned." Instead, the credit would go entirely back to Ramsey when the film was released, a film that was not yet called "Dragonball Evolution," just simply "Dragonball."

    And where would they shoot Dragonball? Durango, Mexico, with Durango meeting the crew's needs in terms of resources while the film's production provided many jobs for the city. This might seem odd, but Durango was no stranger to Hollywood productions. John Wayne's The Sons of Katie Elder had been shot there, and so had Clark Gable's The Tall Men. It was also known for the filming of Buck and the Preacher, the debut directing job of Sydney Poitier, the first African American man to win the Academy Award for Best Actor. But those highlights had been decades ago and Durango was looking to reinvent itself as a prominent hub for cinema.

  The Durango Film Commission was also extremely generous with presenting itself as a location option, stating that it would pick up important members of the production in a Lear Jet and offer them a helicopter for production at "no cost." While a backlot would be built for exterior scenes, most of the film would be shot in an abandoned Jeans Trousers factory, turned into a 1,000-foot long filmmaking facility for Dragonball.

  The process of actually filming Dragonball was rough, though. Marsters required a four-hour make-up job for Piccolo and if he didn't cool off between takes, he'd sweat the make-up and prosthetics off. The harsh desert winds damaged multiple set-pieces and Wong would tell Newsarama, "It didn't seem like we had an easy day on this movie at all," and that he wasn't sure what certain special effects-heavy sequences would end up looking like.

    Regardless, the actors would remain optimistic. A few months after filming began, Marsters told TVGuide that Dragonball was "the coolest television cartoon of the last 50,000 years," had a "Shakespearean sense of good and evil," and that he was told that the film would cost "about $100 million." He lamented that the female characters in the original series "aren't drawn well," but "we're going to fix that in the movie."

  Chatwin, who'd appeared a few years earlier in Stephen Spielberg's War of the Worlds remake (where Dragon Ball toys can be seen in his character's bedroom) would compare Goku to Luke Skywalker. Chow Yun-Fat would say that he enjoyed working on the film, as did many of the other actors. Late in 2008, with the release of its first trailer, Dragonball was quietly renamed Dragonball Evolution, hinting that we wouldn't quite be getting the full Dragonball story, but rather a chunk of it. And in a few months, this hint would turn into a promise.

  Part 3: Ya' Gotta Wait Until The Next Episode For It To Get Good

  With the American release date just weeks away, a new round of press would center on one specific theme: Don't worry, it gets better in the next movie.

  Marsters had signed for three movies but wanted to make five, or even seven since "my character only really gets interesting in the second film." Chatwin said "there's so much we haven't shown yet," and seemed to describe the first film as mostly exposition, but still worth watching. Chatwin also noted that the sequel would dive more into Dragon Ball Z territory and that there was a script for a second film already written, but he'd only heard about it and hadn't read it yet.

    On April 9, 2009, one day before the United States release, an interview with director Wong on Telecinco news gave an even more sobering look at the film. He talked about working on "three or four" drafts, though there was already a script by Ramsey, and that "In the world of 'Dragon Ball' anything is possible and there were many fantastic elements that I wanted to include in the film, but we couldn't really afford it." This quote would come after the reveal that, despite the multiple claims of a $100 million budget beforehand, the budget actually came in at half that, totaling $50 million.

  Wong seemed interested in making sure the film was grounded enough to get non-fans into the series, fearing that fantastical elements would confuse or drive them away. He mentioned getting rid of a "talking animal" character (probably Oolong or the shapeshifting squirrel-esque creature Puar) from an earlier script draft, and that while the manga had unlimited freedom, the movie had to be limited due to "the time we had and for the budget." He also said that he didn't really pay attention to any internet criticism and that he'd be happy to do another Dragonball film if it was the sequel "that we all want."

  The film had premiered in Japan the previous month, with Chatwin describing a plan to have him explode out of a giant ball at the Japanese premiere as silly at first, but eventually pretty cool. He also recalled being confused by the Japanese audience's silent reception of it, eventually rectifying it as the response of a "more respectful" culture. His take on the budget? "Dragonball was a $120 million film."

  But despite efforts like a tie-in PSP video game and a Shonen Jump Dragonball Evolution posterzine released by VIZ Media, nothing could stop the tide that was about to hit the film. It made less than $10 million in the United States (the 2018 anime film Dragon Ball Super: Broly would make over twice as much) and the reviews were overwhelmingly negative. Critics called it "uninspired," "cliche-ridden" and a "surreal mess," among many, many other things.

  So what happened? Well, to answer that, we have to look at what didn't happen ...

  Part 4: "A Strange Confidence"

"I was told it was a $100 million picture, and Stephen Chow would be producing. I get down to Mexico, it's a $30 million picture. No one's met Stephen Chow, he's only on paper. Aaaand I got no stuntman."

  That was James Marsters' response to a question about Dragonball Evolution at Monster Mania 2009, just four months after the release of the film. Nine years later, he'd say that he was told the film had a $120 million budget at first and that both he and Chow Yun-Fat had gone to Mexico excited to work with Stephen Chow. But Stephen Chow wasn't there, leaving Marsters and Chow Yun-Fat "fooled" and "cursing in the desert."

  So where was Stephen Chow? Well, a few days after the American release, the reason for Chow's disappearance from anything to do with Dragonball Evolution, from the production to the promotion, was revealed: No one had let him do his job. "Except for giving a few suggestions, I did not have an actual role," he told a reporter during a phone interview. "It's true that they did not accept my decisions," he added.

    And what of Akira Toriyama's role as a "creative consultant?" He'd found that the script didn't make the best use of the characters and their world, "so I cautioned them, and suggested changes; but in spite of that, they seemed to have a strange confidence, and didn't really listen to me." He'd also claim to be "upset" about it.

  Ben Ramsey, who'd taken a lot of flack for being credited with the screenplay, initially said in a 2010 interview "Go talk to the director about that one! That's his vision, not mine" However, in 2016, he'd issue an apology for the film's script, calling the experience of writing for such a reviled film "gut-wrenching," and receiving the hate mail "heartbreaking." He admitted to writing the project for the money, rather than as a fan, and didn't blame "anyone for Dragonball but myself."

  And when it comes to creating films that he's actually passionate about? "That's the only work I do now."

  For more of my Crunchyroll Deep Dives, click here to read Licensing of the Monsters: How Pokemon Ignited An Anime Arms Race

  Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com