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meaningofaeons · 2 years ago

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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ unbearable

⊹ character(s) - sampo koski ⊹ word count - 1.7k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, angsty, hurt/comfort?? possibly slightly ooc sampo sorry </3, unedited

ugh I rlly couldn't help myself making my first work on this account sampo (tho I really did consider svarog LMAO he's grown on me a lot) but I hope you all like!! this is like. my redebut onto tumblr writing hehe ^w^

Surely, there couldn't be a more unbearable man on this planet — no, maybe in the entire universe — than Sampo Koski.

Perhaps he had his good sides, though, you would find yourself musing every once in a while.

Sure, he was a filthy conman, always tunnel-visioned on his next profit. Not much consideration for strangers aside from their pockets, not to mention that terrible habit of his to spam anyone whose contact he could get his hands on with scam ads and malware links he was paid a pretty sum to spread. Even his own 'friends' wouldn't be spared from his constant phishing attempts.

Maybe he did get a bit too reckless if the job was especially large, especially profitable, and maybe he did sometimes ditch just before the bill at a restaurant would arrive, and maybe he did piss off a group of automatons, causing them to chase you two to the edge of town until —

You sighed irritably, pinching your temple as you tried to refocus your thoughts.

In spite of all that, Sampo did have his benefits, you surmised.

He had ended up dropping in at just the right time during that automaton chase, even though you'd assumed mere moments earlier that his disappearance from your side meant he had run for the hills and left you behind. You avoided a lot worse injuries thanks to him that day.

And yeah, he did stop that miner from scamming you out of a good chunk of your paycheck that one time — albeit at the cost of another group of naïve victims who he led the man directly to. 'The only one who can swindle you out of all your pocket money is me!' he had claimed, and promptly received a beating over the head.

But once you opened your eyes again, beholding the sight of Sampo Koski sat on his knees before you in shame, twiddling his thumbs as he glanced to the side with a guilty smile...

You weren't quite sure his positive aspects could completely abate your wrath.

On this very day, the man before you had asked you to come with him to Rivet Town to assist with a 'very important business discussion'. You, foolishly, decided to trust him again.

'Give him the benefit of the doubt,' you'd thought. 'Maybe this time it's actually something honest. Maybe this'll really help him.'

Rather than a discussion, though, the foxlike man had instead led you right to a large group of automatons.

'It'll be fine,' he'd said, shrugging. 'Just need some scrap metal for a client! It's technically still a business discussion, we're just discussing with our weapons rather than our mouths!'

So he'd left you to dismantle the automaton pile, until another group of very much active robots had spotted you two and barreled towards you for vengeance.

The man hadn't even noticed in your collective fleeing that one of the bots had managed a sizable gash on your leg, hindering your escape until the two of you finally stumbled back into town.

Of course, the filthy scammer escaped unscathed himself.

Just recalling the incident sent you into further distress as the pain ached in your leg — you hadn't bothered to get it treated by Natasha yet, too focused on giving your 'business partner' a piece of your mind as soon as possible.

Sampo didn't dare speak a word himself. Your stormy expression was enough for him to keep his trap shut tight, too afraid of your mood to risk worsening it.

He had really done it with his latest stunt — a little 'prank gone wrong', as he put it, until he saw just how upset you were — and he knew it, too.

"I just..." Green eyes immediately shot over towards you as you began to speak, but your words only cut off into a heavy sigh, leading you to slump into a chair in the corner of your dingy apartment. Seeing you kneading your forehead with a look of exhaustion more so than anything else, the sly man took his chances with a conversation.

"L-Like I said, Y/N, it was all in good fun!" he laughed anxiously, feeling his palms begin to sweat. "I wasn't actually going to leave you to get all the parts by yourself, or ditch you when the bots came running, or anything —"

"Quiet."

Your voice shut him up once again.

Sampo was exceedingly nervous today. Usually, you'd just get angry with him, expression twisting into that cute, flushed pout that he'd gotten so fond of.

You'd hit him over the head, scold him loudly, drag him by the ear... but you were never silently angry. Not like this.

"Does it really make you happy?" your voice echoed through the room at last, your face still hidden beneath your exasperated hands. "Is it really that fun? Are you getting a good laugh at my expense?"

Sampo's smile, though nervous, fell.

"You know, Sampo Koski," His spine straightened at his full name being used, rare shame filling his cheeks. He felt like he was being scolded like a toddler. "You always pull something or other over me. Usually, it's bearable. But it's gotten to be too much."

"Y-Y/N —"

"I choose to offer you my trust in so many ways, and you just...!" Your hands clutched onto your hair in complete vexation. "You always take advantage of it! Always! Even when I try to help you, or give you the benefit of the doubt, try to convince myself you're being honest for once!"

You peered through your fingers at him with one eye.

"I can count on two hands the amount of times you've shockingly come through for me, and yet, I don't even have enough hairs on my head to equal the amount of times you've swindled or betrayed me! This is the last straw, Sampo Koski!"

"Y/N, l-listen —"

"I'm going to Nat's."

His mouth fell agape as you just got up and began walking towards the door as you'd said.

"Wait!"

"What?" you sneered as the man half-rose to his feet, frozen by your glare. "Worried that I'll tattle to her and you'll get another earful to ignore? Don't worry. She knows that every injury I get is your doing, so she's going to find out one way or another."

"...Injury?" Sampo asked, dumbfounded. You raised a brow, thoroughly ticked as you turned and walked away again.

It was then that he noticed the blood soaking your pants, the torn material of your clothes sticking uncomfortably to the gnashed skin. Your limp was more pronounced than he'd like to admit, considering he clearly hadn't noticed it prior to now.

The door slamming brought the man back to his senses, and he immediately pursued you, grabbing onto your wrist before you could make it ten steps away from your home.

"Let go, Sampo! While I'm still being nice!"

"I'm sorry!"

"I don't want to hear it! I —" Upon processing his words, you turned, a look of mild horror washing over your features as you raised a brow again. "...Eh?"

Sure enough, the Sampo Koski had just said the words 'I'm sorry' in a tone that sounded more genuine than anything he'd ever pushed past his lips — that is, if his souring expression was anything to go by.

He'd never said that to you before, not in the several incidents before this, so you certainly hadn't expected it now.

He looked gutted.

"I should've — I shouldn't've — Urgh..." Sampo scratched the back of his neck. You narrowed your eyes.

"Don't tell me this is just you being too afraid of Nat to let me get treated by her."

"No, no, listen," he waved his hands around wildly. "I'm... sure, I'm afraid of Miss Natasha, plenty afraid, in fact! But... being real honest, I'm way more afraid of you walking out on me for good."

His head bowed, and he looked completely downtrodden at this point.

"Y-You've been better to me than most, and I guess... I don't know. I just thought you'd always be there, sorta... Which was wrong of me to assume!" Sampo's speech was jumping all over the place as he hastily attempted to keep your attention, worried a single wrong word would send you walking away again. "Very wrong! I took advantage of ya a lot, and... Well, I'm sorry."

You stood there in silence for a good, long while.

It was plenty of time to make even Sampo nervous. You couldn't deny reveling in the way his fingers twitched anxiously, his eyes darting to you and back to the floor as he awaited your response — or lack of one — to his apology.

Finally, you sighed again. A very long, drawn-out, wrongdoing-emphasizing sigh.

"Well, I assume you can't promise that this will never happen again."

"Heheh... Well, if we're being really, really honest..." he simpered, not meeting your eye. "I can at least promise that I'll never let you get hurt on my watch again, though! Not ever! Koski's honor!"

The comical way he put a fist to his chest, as though mimicking a Silvermane Guard, put a reluctant smile on your face. Finally, you snorted out a laugh, bringing his infamous smile back again as well. This time, however, it was more relieved than mischievous.

"I really hate you sometimes," you murmured, pulling him into a hug as you buried your face in his shoulder. "But I'll let it slide. Last time, Sampo Koski. Don't you mess up again."

"I won't!" he shouted, perhaps a bit too eager. Still-shaky hands found your figure as he gently returned your embrace, something a bit more tender in his eyes when you pulled away. "I won't."

"Fine."

"Now, then, why don't we mosey back on into your house and get that leg patched up, eh?"

"Sorry, Mr. Koski," you teased, folding your hands behind your back as you continued your trek towards Natasha's clinic. "As much as we just shared a heartfelt moment of emotional growth, I don't trust your shoddy patchwork first-aid, not for something that hurts this bad. You'll just have to deal."

Sampo trailed after you like a puppy, rubbing his hands together like the shady businessman he was, familiar swindling smirk back already — though it grew more anxious by the minute as you neared Natasha's.

"Ah, come on! Can't we work out a deal? A bargain?! I said I won't let you get hurt again! We're both reasonable people, right...?"

"Y/N...? Y/N, come on!"

#hsr #honkai star rail #sampo #sampo koski #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #sampo x reader #sampo koski x reader #hsr fanfic

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excessive-vampires · 7 months ago

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Dealing With Demons Chapter 12: Not Even Scary Monsters Part 2: Cee

Masterlist with CW

Taglist: @demyxdancer @softvampirewhump @d-cs

Avi took us to a large park we often went to when the weather was nice. Specifically, they took us to the spot in the park furthest away from anyone that could hear them as they screamed in frustration.

Birds fled their nests and squirrels ran for more peaceful perches. Avi dropped to their knees and wiped tears from their eyes with the long sleeves of their undershirt. The cold night air whipped around us, bringing with it a refreshing calm and clarity. After a few moments they breathed in deep, held the smell of dirt and grass and trees in their lungs for a minute, and then exhaled as they climbed to their feet.

I'm sorry.

"Don't." They cut off my spiralling guilt. "Don't blame yourself. Our deal is way more important to me than anything else."

But—

"Even more important than having help with the Cliff thing," they reassured me.

Okay.

Satisfied that I was no longer irrationally blaming myself for the argument, they let their frustration come back.

"If I could have just explained the situation better!"

They didn't seem very willing to listen, and I doubt they'd fully believe that I chose this life. Maybe with time...

"Not likely. We need to keep the Bureau as far away from us as we can from this point on."

But what about your deal with Coleman?

"I'm pretty sure that deal's gonna be called off soon enough."

They were probably right.

It was weird, Riley was the one I was mad at, but I kept thinking about Mike. Looking back on the conversation Avi'd had with him as he rebandaged their arm.

......

"This'll sting some," Mike said.

"I know that peroxide hurts," Avi responded with an eye-roll.

"How? Have you ever been hurt enough to need it before?"

"Uh, no. No. I saw it on tv."

Mike shrugged and wiped the soaked cotton ball across the scratch. They hissed in pain.

"Told you."

Avi thought about making a snarky or rude retort, but there was a question pressing on their mind. Mine too.

"Why are you doing this?"

"So it doesn't get infected."

"No, I mean, why help me at all? I'm a highly dangerous scary monster that eats human souls."

"Well, you needed help. And I don't like to see anyone in pain, not even scary monsters."

We looked at Mike, processing this.

"You're a good person, Mike."

Mike laughed. "Not sure that means much coming from a demon. Or maybe it means more, I don't know. Ha! I just realized that if my parents knew that I was helping a demon right now it'd be all the evidence they'd need that they were right about me. Not that they need evidence."

I know what that's like.

"I almost want to tell them just to see how they'd react," Mike continued as he got out a long strip of gauze. "But I can't."

"Why not?"

"They don't know about magic or monsters or anything. I didn't either until about a decade ago and by then we were already no longer speaking."

Avi you have to ask him how he found out about magic! I'm begging you!

"What happened? Not with your parents, that's personal, I get it. I mean how'd you find out about magic?"

"Well I was on vacation in a national park with a friend of mine, and we got drunk and decided to go night-hiking because the night was so beautiful, what with the full moon and all."

"Ah."

"Yeah. We wandered off the trail and ran into what was, at the time, the scariest thing I'd ever seen. At first I thought 'Aw shit a grizzly bear' but my friend turned his flashlight on it and nope, werewolf. A werewolf that felt very threatened when I threw a beer bottle at him."

When he what!

Avi raised an eyebrow.

"I was drunk! And scared! Anyway, he decided to make sure we weren't going to tell anyone about this by turning one of us. I ran faster than my friend did. He was okay though, mostly."

Where is he now?

"Where is he now?"

"At home waiting for me to be done investigating this weird cabin. We got married a couple years after 'the incident' as we call it. Around that time I found out the Bureau existed and I decided to join to make sure everything was legit and Ian wasn't in danger."

Aw, that's sweet.

"I'm glad the Bureau turned out to be the good guys."

"Yeah, I am too." He taped the gauze down onto Avi's arm. "I honestly don't know what I would have done if they had been corrupt."

Avi laughed. My emotional state was a bit more mixed.

On the one hand, this was exactly the sort of story I was interested in hearing. On the other, it made me think of how I found out about the supernatural, and it made me want to share that story with Mike. To talk and laugh and compare experiences. But I couldn't. And Avi couldn't for me, because Mike didn't know I was here.

.....

Well, he knew I was here now, but I didn't think I was going to get to share my story.

Let's go home.

"It's not safe there."

No, but it's not safe anywhere and it's warm at home and we have chocolate.

Avi chuckled, but without any real joy behind it. "Okay. Yeah. Let's go home."

Then they teleported. We were supposed to end up back in our apartment, but we didn't.

It took us a moment to recognize where we were in the dark, and when we did Avi tried to run. But then there was a sickening cracking sound as something made of silver struck us, a stabbing pain in their head, and the feeling of the world falling away.

"I'm sorry, Cee," they managed to get out before the blackness took us.

I know.

#dwd #cee pov

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iammistressofmyfate · 2 years ago

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What if I wrote Adam teaching Ronan how to ride a motorcycle? 🤔

Adam teaches Ronan how to ride his motorcycle. Ridiculousness ensues, with some fluff, hurt/comfort, and sweetness tossed in. Maybe flirting? If you squint. I just needed to write something silly or else I might cry.

Based on this post

No warnings, just Ronan swearing

Adam had his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was one of skepticism. His fine mouth turned down in a bit of a frown, fair brows furrowed.

It didn't make him look any less handsome as he stared at Ronan, who was straddling the elegant, rough-and-ready motorcycle he'd dreamt for Adam what felt like ages ago. The expression looked at home on Adam's face.

While Ronan preferred Adam smiling, his concentrated expression was just as appealing.

"You're sure you're ready?" Adam asked, dubious.

He'd been showing Ronan how to operate and ride the bike nearly all afternoon. It was the first nice spring day and after waking up late and fooling around, Ronan had dragged Adam out of the house for lessons.

Adam had said he'd teach Ronan, returning the favor from when Ronan had taught him how to drive stick. Ronan was going to make sure that Adam made good on his word. Not to mention the added benefits to all of this.

Ronan got to watch Adam ride the motorcycle, which was a beautiful sight to behold, and then he got the chance to ride said motorcycle.

Adam was an excellent teacher. He was thorough and surprisingly patient. He gave as good as he got when Ronan teased him but kept them on track.

He showed Ronan the breaks and throttle, the clutch, shifting. He explained that the bike wasn't as complicated as real world bikes because Ronan had dreamt it and since Ronan wasn't completely familiar with how real world bikes worked because he'd never ridden one, the dreamt one was Ronan's best approximation.

Ronan had only been paying half a mind to what Adam was saying though because he kept getting distracted.

Adam's hands resting over Ronan's, showing him how much pressure to apply to the throttle, elegant and lovely. The closeness of him, how warm he was as he leaned against Ronan a little, the scent of his hair as he leaned close, instructing Ronan. The instructions themselves (Ronan liked when Adam told him what to do).

Their eyes met more than once. Adam's eyebrow arching at Ronan, a knowing smile on his face.

"Are you paying attention, Ronan?"

"Sure."

And Adam would blush a little, shake his head, and go back to his instruction.

It couldn't be that hard though, right? Ronan had gotten at least the gist of things. It would be fine.

"Yeah. This'll be easy," Ronan replied and Adam's brows furrowed deeper.

"Keep telling yourself that, Lynch."

Ronan waved Adam off, calling him a 'Doubting Thomas', and Adam raised his arms in surrender.

Ronan concentrated, summoning up what he'd heard of what Adam had told him. He eased up on the brakes, engaged the clutch into first, worked the throttle, and rolled forward on the bike.

"See!" Ronan called to Adam, looking at him. Adam looked alarmed.

"Watch where you're going, shithead!" he called back and Ronan snapped his head forward because Adam was right.

He was doing it. He was riding the bike. He was mostly balanced, his hands gripping to the bars. Now how to stop...

Ronan squeezed the brake on the handlebar for the front tire, forgetting about the back tire. The bike stopped and Ronan was lurched forward.

He didn't fly over the handlebars but he hit them pretty hard, right in the solar plexus.

"Ronan!"

"I'm fine!" he replied and then promptly dumped the bike. "Fuck. Ow."

He heard Adam's hurried footsteps in the gravel and then the motorcycle was pulled off of him.

"Are you okay?" Adam asked, his accent thicker in his concern.

"Shit. Yeah. Jesus."

Adam kicked down the kickstand of the bike and offered his hands to help Ronan to his feet.

"Don't say it," Ronan growled. Adam's lips twitched briefly.

"Say what?" Adam's eyebrows raised, his face looking surprisingly innocent and boyish but Ronan wasn't falling for it.

"I'm going again."

This continued for several minutes, Ronan trying to remember balancing and clutching and the gears and braking for both front and back tires.

He knew he was going to be as bruised and banged up as Adam had been when he'd first ridden the bike from Massachusetts to Virginia. He was determined and stubborn, he was going to nail this.

And he did. Eventually. Just as the sun was lowering in the sky, Adam pulling on Ronan's Carhartt jacket to keep warm as the temperature dropped.

Ronan guided the bike down the driveway, whooping despite himself, and he could hear Adam's surprised laugh over the sound of the motorcycle's engine.

Ronan managed to turn around before the tree line, a little wobbly, but he kept himself upright. He drove the bike all the way back to Adam, stopping a little jerkily, right next to him.

Adam was smiling and shaking his head and Ronan grinned at him.

"Hey, doll," he purred and Adam laughed, curving his fingers around Ronan's chin, squeezing his cheek just a little, and kissed him.

"That wasn't half bad. The bike suits you," Adam murmured against Ronan's mouth, kissing him again. "But you need a lot more practice."

#pynch #adam parrish #ronan lynch #motorcycle riding lessons #mild flirting #ficlet

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tma-entity-song-poll · 9 months ago

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Battle of the Fear Bands B3R4: The Flesh

Body:

“literally about someone letting their body parts get stolen because they're 'tired' of 'this cumbersome and heavy body'”

youtube

The Dismemberment Song:

“It has everything, the casual treatment of people’s bodies as objects for a goal, trying to almost sound sweet while chopping someone to bits, the fact that what will be left is unrecognizable, the turning the knife on someone else as opposed to yourself. It’s just very flesh.”

youtube

Lyrics below the line!

Body:

Take my eyes, take them aside Take my face, and desecrate My arms and legs, they get in the way And take my hands, they'll understand Take my heart, pull it apart And take my brain, or what remains And throw it all away 'Cause I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body Take my lungs, take them and run Take my tongue, go have some fun And take the ears, take them and disappear Take my joints, take them for points Take my teeth, tear through my cheeks And take the nose, go and dispose Oh, would you go dispose, just go dispose 'Cause I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body I've grown tired of this body Fall apart without me body Take my eyes, take them aside Take my face and desecrate Arms and legs get in the way Bodies break I've grown tired of this body A cumbersome and heavy body I've grown tired of this body Fall apart without me, body I've grown tired of this body Cumbersome and heavy Tired of this body Fall apart without me I'm tired of this body Cumbersome and heavy (take my eyes) I'm tired of this body (take them aside, take my face) Fall apart without me (and desecrate, arms and legs) I'm tired of this body (get in the way, take my lungs) I'm tired of this body (take them and run, take my tongue) I'm tired of this body (go have some fun, and take the ears) Cumbersome and heavy body (take them and disappear) Heavy body, heavy body Thanks so much, thanks again It's nice here, I mean we're elevated See out this big window, it's a nice day It's a bit of a bummer we're sort of passing through Montreal tonight, and I mean, we come here and we just wanna stay here And this particular event is so brief But on the one hand, y'know, we've never done anything like this before And we haven't played in Montreal in a while, so it's nice to, nice to reunite And it's nice to see ya, y'know where things are standing And this is a really good feeling in the room And uh, on the other hand, we're going to New York this evening So, that's always a good time, that uh, that big apple And uh, we're doing a residency in Brooklyn So, if you guys know people out there, I'm sure you do, some of you It's close by, right? And uh, every Monday night for the next three Mondays We're gonna be in Brooklyn, playing some music But it is not about them, nor is it about the past It is about this moment, so on that note We will Segway into a song A song about striving for a more simplistic path, I suppose It's off our new record Here we go

The Dismemberment Song:

Hold still, my sweet I'm trying to measure the space between Your molar and your jaw This caliper No cause for fear, no, it, it doesn't hurt It only helps me measure How much skin you have Oh, and the topmost layer of fat But I won't make an incision 'Til you're nice and numb Oh, and laughing gas can be so much fun Please don't doubt my decision This'll be, ooh, this'll be, aah This'll be absolutely, whee This'll be nice, this'll be neat And bring you closer to me So, don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me Refreshing for me, yeah No, don't you cry And don't call Miriam, she's my alibi Oh, let me check your toes out Aren't your toenails cute? And red is such a lovely color on you But you won't be needing those When you've got no knees Or shins, or pinky fingers, or arteries So, hold still while I remove them Oh, and don't fight back I think you'll find you're missing the point with that That's enough out of you And this'll be, ooh, this'll be, aah This'll be absolutely, whee This'll be nice, this'll be neat And bring you closer to me So, don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me, yeah Refreshing for me, yeah Well, once upon a time, that's where the plot begins And right after the end, well, that's where the plot thins, and I've got no angel to keep me in line So, I'm taking your narrative, and I'm making it mine 'Cause I'm all out of hurt, you've used up all I've got So, I'm chopping you up and still coming up squat If I wanted to bleed, I'd just roll up my sleeve And saw, and saw, and saw And saw, and saw, and saw And saw, and saw, and saw Oh, yeah This'll be, ooh, this'll be, aah This'll be absolutely, whee This'll be nice, this'll be neat And bring you closer to me So, don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you No, no, no, not yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But there's one thing you're forgetting There's nothing like the thrill of a shredding And this is no orthodox beheading And cutting you up Cutting you up Cutting you up is gonna be so refreshing for me Refreshing for me, yeah Refreshing for me Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

#the magnus archives #tma #poll #the flesh #mother mother #blue kid #Youtube

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semi-sketchy · 1 year ago

Note

I was the anon who sent the question about asking about your OCs and rest assured! I definitely meant the latter—as a fellow creative, I totally understand lacking the energy to draw out every ask or rping as them lmao. (I would die!)

My question is about Tara who is definitely my favorite of your characters so far. I remember you mentioning that Tara was very upset when she found out when she was pregnant and even was mad with Rocky for a bit. This may be a vague question so my apologies if it's tricky to answer, but can you give us some more insight on Tara's relationship with motherhood? Was there a point in her pregnancy where she accepted that she was going to be a mom and even begin to love her children, or did that come more so after their birth? Did she love them instantly or did it take time?

How did Tara’s experience with her family effect how she saw having children? Will her parents and siblings ever meet her kids? What would her parents think of Rocky and their offspring?

SORRY THIS IS SO MUCH FIEKCJKA. I just love exploring family dynamics and you put so much thought into them.

HO BOY DO I HAVE NOTES SO BUCKLE UP THIS'LL BE A LONG ONE

So Tara has a really bad relationship with her family, some trauma that lingers from their constant belittlement still causes her some problems (I wrote a lot about that in her family's bios which you can read here if you haven't already). She is very prideful and confident in her abilities, but it's her character traits that she suffers insecurities about. She's very closed off and avoids showing vulnerability, even to those she's closest with, which masks as a bad attitude. This makes little moments where she shows compassion towards others (mostly kids she sees parts of her past self in) a little shocking.

(Just a snippet that came to mind, nothing else exists but this here. Context is just Cali went missing while Rita was alone so everyone's helping to find her, except they don't want to bring Rita into possible danger.) Rita: Wait! I wanna come, too. Nami: Sorry, kiddo, this isn't an adventure for you. You'll be better off here where it's safe. Rita: But--! Byte: Nami's right. We don't know what we're going to get into. We can't risk putting you in danger. Tara: Oh, let the kid tag along. Byte: Tara? Tara: Come on, you can ride with me. Rita: Thanks, Miss Tara! *leaves* Byte: Tara....why? Tara: It's not like you two were getting anywhere with her. Besides, she just wants to help. Nami: I didn’t expect from you, Tara. What's gotten into you? Tara: Just get in the car.

Even though Rocky is very kind to her, she knows she's jaded. She fears that she's mistreating him and he'd be better off alone. Being aro/ace plays into this as well because Rocky loves her and while she cares very deeply about him, she physically can't reciprocate those feelings. This is why she was so hesitant to marry him and even pushed him away when he wanted to start a relationship. You can imagine, but being the mother of his children is quite the big step to take when you have these doubts and it happened so early in their marriage.

“Tara, you okay?” Ryder asked. She nodded with a yawn. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” “She’s been complaining about being tired for days,” Skye added. Tara looked over and shot a death glare at Skye. “Really, I’m fine.” “I think you better sit this one out, Tara, you’re not well,” Ryder said. She stood up in protest. “But--” “We can handle it,” Byte interrupted, “you can watch the pups.” She stomped her foot and growled. “I’m a rescue dog, not a babysitter! Look, I just haven’t been sleeping well, that’s no reason to take me out of action!” “Tara, we sometimes handle dangerous situations, we can’t afford not to be at our best during it,” Ryder responded. “Go and rest, we’ll see to you once the mission is over.” Hanging her head, she stalked over to the door, grumbling with each step. “Now pups, we have reports of an underwater volcano becoming active--” Tara quickly walked backwards and sat herself back in her spot. “Ready for deployment.” Ryder sighed, having trouble reasoning with his stubborn dog. “Marshall, see that she gets some rest and a wellness check.” “Yes sir!” Marshall stood up and went over to Tara, nudging her to move it. “H-hey!” she protested. “You’re dealing with a volcano, you need me!” “Don’t worry, I can cover for you,” Nami piped up. “After all, I deal with natural disasters, so I have some knowledge of volcanoes. You take it easy.” Her brows furrowed, she let Marshall lead her outside.

She was upset because she wasn't ready for that step, she wasn't ready to put aside her duties, the one thing she had confidence in, to start a family, which is why she lashed out and blamed Rocky at first. She couldn't cope with the reality and took it out on him.

She already had fears about being a bad partner, but now she also had to deal with the fear of following in her parents footsteps and hurting her children the way she was hurt. She may seem snarky and uncaring most the time, but she also works to try and make sure no one goes through what she did. If that means a confrontation, she'll step in without a second thought. She doesn't care what someone does to her, she's already been damaged, but she can't sit idly by and let that happen to someone else.

The weight of her children's happiness falls on her and she doesn't trust herself with it. She knows she's rough, she knows she's grumpy and blunt, she knows she won't be what they need or deserve.

She goes through this alone because while she has made progress, she still has trouble expressing her feelings and wants nothing more than to isolate herself. Rocky knows she's afraid and wants to help her, but all the reassurance in the world can't undo the programming from her childhood, especially in such a short timeframe.

Though when the time finally comes...she's left with wonder and amazement. She still carries these fears, but she learns to love her children in spite of them.

Tara slowly blinked open her eyes, feeling rather warm with Rocky snuggled up beside her back. She stirred slightly as she lifted her head, looking out the door to see the dawn breaking over Adventure Bay. “Y-you’re awake…” Rocky’s voice caused her to jump slightly in surprise as she turned to him, a confused look on her face. He looked at her with hope gleaming across his face, but he slowly lost the expression as Tara continued to stare at him blankly. “…You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?” She slowly shook her head. “It’s…okay. It’s for the better. You had a rough time, Marshall wasn’t sure you could pull it off, but you did.” He licked her cheek and drove his gaze down to the two pups pressed up against her. She watched the newborns as their chests slowly rose and fell next to her flank, her expression easing in the silence. “They’re…beautiful…” “A boy and a girl, one of each,” Rocky stated as he got up and walked over to his little pups. “I was thinking of names… So the boy will be Rocky jr. and the girl will be Tara jr.” She furrowed her brows, shooting an annoyed glare at him. “No.”

She makes mistakes, she's not perfect, but she is not her parents.

Her family relations weren't good and they don't get better now. Even though not all of her siblings were outright cruel, the fact is none ever came to help her or stop the cruelty, which only enabled the behavior. They're the reason she was afraid of the water for a while and never learned how to swim.

Since joining the PAW Patrol, she's basically been able to avoid her family, not even inviting them to her wedding. She has no interest in subjecting her kids to the environment she had to endure, so she's purposefully sheltered them from that. Although, she can't always protect them and family events happen.

Telsa pup: "My mom says all purebred dogs should be with other purebreds. That way we all turn out normal. You two mutts? You’re disgusting." Roxy: "But I took bath today!" Brevon: "Are you really that stupid?" Roxy: "Huh? Why would you say something like that...?" Brevon: "I’m talking to that asshole, not you." Roxy: "Oh, in that case carry on."

It's a situation beyond her control, one she can't shelter her loved ones from.

A female Bernese Mountain Dog turned to him, wearing a white collar and bows on her ears. “How do you know Terra?” she asked in a posh accent. “O-oh, I’m Rocky, Tara’s wife-- I MEAN HUSBAND. Husband.” He felt kind of foolish for messing up on his own introduction like that. The female looked him up and down. “You mean you’re the loser she married?” “Ah, hahah,” he faked a small laugh, trying his best to make a good impression. “Yup, that’s me. W-who might you be?” “Telsa.” He paused, waiting for her to say something more about herself as few moments of awkward silence slipped by. “Hi!” Telsa turned away, going to mingle with her family and leaving Rocky alone. One of her siblings piped up, talking amongst his other brothers and sisters. “How did she ever land a guy?” “I kind of thought she was into girls…” The other male commented.

Her family is never gonna approve of her or her choices and she knows this. They'll be critical and pick at every aspect they can, including her family. They don't respect her, even after all she's accomplished, and they never will.

Telsa sat and watched as Tara struggled to get free from the horde of children. “My, you look...different.” “Wish I could say the same about you,” she said as she finally got on her feet, shaking her coat. “You’re still as ugly as ever.” “Come on, now, there’s no need to be rude. It’s Family Day, after all,” Telsa smiled. Tara rolled her eyes, sitting down and watching as the puppies dispersed. “Yeah, gotta love Family Day.” “Oh please, Terra,” she huffed, moving to sit next to Tara, “you hate every moment of this because these pups are better than yours.” “No, I hate them because they’re little shits.” “Well, they’re more well behaved than your two kids,” Telsa remarked. “Well at least I have only two and not twenty.” “I have nine, Terra,” she corrected. “You know, I have always wondered why you only had two unlike the rest of us.” She shrugged, turning her attention to her kids playing with their cousins. “Just blessed, I guess.” “I suppose it’s all for the better, though,” Telsa sighed. Tara cocked her brow. “What do you mean?” She sat up straight, wrapping her tail around her paws as she turned her attention to her sister. “Terra, you fell in love with a mutt.” “And?” she pressed. Her gaze shifted down, her tail nervously twitching. “Well, your pups…they aren’t…purebred…” “And...?” “They’re…mutteneses!” she blurted out. “And?” Tara pressed further. Her chest puffed out as she snapped her gaze back at Tara. “Well, at least my mate is a purebred!” “You mean inbred, you self-righteous cock,” she remarked. Telsa gasped as she stepped back. “How...dare you!” “What? It’s the truth,” she replied. “And don’t discount Rocky like that. He’s a very kind and smart father.” “Oh please, he can’t even spell your name correctly,” Telsa jeered.

Even though a few have grown up and want good relations with her, she can't forget what they allowed to happen and she can't forgive. She won't give them that leverage to walk back into her life or the chance to hurt those she's now closest to.

For the first time in a long while, Tara has something she deeply cares about, which just marks them as an easy sensitivity to exploit.

And no one does this better than her mother. Heidi puts on a mask of wanting the best for her children, but it always comes out in being highly critical of everything with her husband always backing her.

Tara: “Yeah, well I have other things to do.” Rocky: “Tara!” Tara: “Oh great.” Rocky: “Are these your parents?” Tara: “Yes. Meet Heidi and Alpine. Mom, Dad, this is my husband, Rocky.” Heidi: “…You never did have good taste in men.”

Tara thinks so highly of Rocky, she knows how good he is and how hard he tries to be the best father he can, but all her family chooses to see is a trash mutt.

Brevon and Roxy are somewhat accepted, them being kids it's easier not to blame them for who their parents are. Heidi loves her grandbabies, but they aren't immune to the bias that follows Tara and this is evident by how indifferent Alpine is towards them, often refusing to acknowledge their existence.

Tara's family views her as a disappointment, a scorn on the family name, and her husband and kids are nothing more than an extension of that.

WHEW okay I warned you that was a lot. I didn't feel the need to go super into the family dynamics since I already wrote about that and some of this was taken from a WIP fanfic I plan to eventually finish, so it'll be further explored then.

Thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to ramble though because I genuinely love these characters and sharing them so much.

#ask #paw patrol oc #tara

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hyperfixation-tangentopia · 1 year ago

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Wrote some Peng Chikao shenanigans, inspired by uh...an incorrect quote I think it was, of Chikao sleeping taped to the ceiling. She's not sleeping, but I doubt this'll be the last time it happens lol.

Enjoy some shenanigans. Imma post another Peng Chikao shenanigans thing tomorrow :3

Peng walked into the room they were staying in for the night, looked up, and immediately turned around and walked out the door.

“Peng, wait!“ Chikao's voice called after them. Peng sighed as annoyance settled in their chest. Chikao in their room never meant good things. Actually, Chikao in general never meant good things. Chikao felt like an eternal warning sign she was about to screw with something, usually to Peng's detriment.

Peng slowly turned around and opened the dark brown door with a soft squeak. They poked their gold beak in slowly and squinted at the strawberry red monkey taped to the ceiling.

”Do I even want to know how you got up there?“ Peng questioned.

Chikao laughed with the full-toothed grin Peng was eternally tempted to wipe off her face. ”I challenged Wukong to a bet and lost.“

”And...these, were your losing terms?“ Peng raised an eyebrow.

”Nah, I just gave him a roll of tape and told him to have at.“ Chikao said. Her tail dangled down, free from the tape, but the rest of her was taped tightly to the ceiling. The clear tape allowed for a perfect view to how flattened some of her fur was, and how matted it would probably be when she was down.

Peng sighed and shook their head. ”I should've known this would happen one day...“ They muttered under their breath as their annoyance grew.

”What'd you say?“ Chikao asked.

Peng rolled their eyes. ”Won't you ever stop making bets with that chimp?“ They walked across the light brown flooring to the metal-and-glass container that held the candle giving the room warm orange light. They sat down on the thin white cloth that covered the firm bed mattress and inspected the curved carving of an ear of corn in the headboard.

”Nope!“ Chikao chirped. ”So? Help me down?“ She asked.

Peng sighed. ”And why exactly should I let you down, little lightning bolt?“ Peng raised an eyebrow and looked across the room at the open window that allowed soft evening light through. “It sounds like you got what was coming to you.”

Chikao narrowed her eyes into a mild glare and her ear twitched. ”Don't call me that.“ She grumbled. Peng turned their violet gaze toward her. ”Besides, do you really want me singing in here all night?“ Chikao's mouth curled into a mischievous grin.

”You are the worst.” Peng narrowed their eyes at her and slid his claws to the ground to stand up and walk for the door again.

”Hey, where are you going? I'll do it, you know.“ Chikao dramatically hushed her voice. ”Not even the walls will save you.”

“To get someone else to do it.” Peng said in an annoyed tone. “I'm not going to waste my time on this.”

“Oh, yeah, because we all know you have soooo much else to be doing.” Chikao said, and Peng could practically feel her grin burning their back.

“Goodnight.” Peng said flatly as their claws curled around the cool bronze metal of the door handle.

“SO YOU WANNA LEARN -” A spike of surprise pain shot through Peng's ears and straight into their skull at Chikao's sheer volume, and they immediately covered their ears. ” - HOW TO PLAY LIKE A PRO -“

”Won't you stop?“ Peng snapped, barely able to hear themself over the noise of Chikao's voice. They couldn't hear themself think. ”Fine, fine, I'll get you down!“

Chikao stopped abruptly, and for a moment Peng let themself sink into the near silence. Their ears rang sharply but slowly dulled to a passive, yet still annoying, sound.

Peng sighed as the edge of their vision flashed gold and they unfolded their metal wings. ”You're lucky we're on the same side.“ They grumbled as they stalked to the center of the room and very, very carefully, lifted themself into the air.

It was very complicated, very confusing, and involved a lot of shouting back and forth, but by the end of it, Chikao was on the ground (mostly) tape-free.

And Peng would've agreed to help in an instant if they'd known just how satisfying it would be to give Chikao the smuggest smile they could muster while she tried to pick the last pieces of tape off of her matted and torn fur.

”And what have we learned today?“ Peng asked in a condescending tone as they sat on the bed and raised their eyebrows, their mouth curled up into a smug smile. Being the one to annoy Chikao for once instead of the other way around was refreshing.

Chikao glared at them from her spot on the ground and took a piece of stray tape off their tail to reach to place on Peng's beak. ”That you're a smug -“

Peng leaned back out of the way and Chikao tipped over and face-planted into the wood with the piece of tape still in her hand. Peng smirked and leaned down toward her. ”Short.“ They said as they plucked the tape from Chikao's fingers and put it on the top of Chikao's matted and rough head.

Chikao glared up at them and pulled the tape off with a barely noticeable wince, then ran her hand over the spot a couple times to smooth out the spot. She shoved herself back into a sit and stuck the tape on the ground behind her beside at least a couple dozen other strips and pieces.

Peng studied the section of ground that had been littered with strips of tape, then glanced over at the corner they'd designated for the bigger chunks of tape that had stuck Chikao to the ceiling. They raised their eyebrows. ”Remind me to never let that monkey wrap a gift.“

Chikao chuckled softly and a bit of motion caught the corner of Peng's eye. They glanced back to see Chikao furiously trying to throw a little strip of tape at them, but it stubbornly held onto her fingers. Peng rolled their eyes. ”Finish your fur...whatever it is you call this, somewhere else. I have sleep to catch.“ They said.

Chikao smirked at them, then shrugged and stood up. She shook herself, which only made the mess of her fur even worse, and walked toward the door. She stuck the piece of tape on the footboard of the bed and opened the door, which squeaked softly. ”Thanks, Peng. G'dnight.“ Chikao grinned and shut the door behind her as she left.

Peng sighed as they glanced around the room, tape scattered about, then shook their head and fell back on their bed with the golden flash of their wings withdrawing. They sighed and relaxed as the pressure on their sore back released. A light crash down the hall and a few shouting voices informed them of what was almost guaranteed to be one of the monkeys of the ground getting into trouble, but their body had already sunk into the bed and felt like it was being weighed there by tired stones, so they shut their eyes and decided to deal with it in the morning.

#tealstars #hehehe shenanigans #enjoy

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afniel · 1 year ago

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I can read in Japanese.

Yeah, I mean, I need a dictionary, but that's just the second language experience. I'm not very fast usually but I can get through almost anything with effort.

Except...I kinda can't read in Japanese?

See, I found this out when I was teaching English in Japan and all my assistant language teacher friends were reading novels. One of them handed me the first Slayers light novel and said, look, you speak at a late grade school level, this is written at that level. This'll be easy for you!

And it's true that I could understand it just fine...but also I couldn't make any sense of it, because every time I parsed a new sentence, I forgot what the previous one said. I couldn't keep enough of it in my mind at once to track the story. I'd have had to go through it one line at a time, completely translating it into a notebook, to have any chance of following it. That's just too much.

I can manage songs, no big deal, but music as a memory cue is a well-known trick that can even work around memory issues. I can maybe do a short article about a familiar subject. Anything else just slides off my brain like water off a Teflon duck.

So, yeah...I can read Japanese. But I can't read Japanese, because my working memory is very poor, and it sucks. That's just how it is for me. It's not fixable, though ADHD meds help, but then I've still got fibro fog, sleep disorder, and dissociative bullshit, all of which can cause memory loss any time they feel like.

Even in dreams, a major source of stress for me is frequently that I can't remember something staggeringly important. Just last night I dreamt that I had signed up for a postgrad university course, but I couldn't remember where, and then I started doubting if I'd even signed up at all. We're not going to talk about how long I had to carry my course list in real life during any school year, from junior high through college graduation, so that I didn't get lost and miss classes...I usually had it down by midterms. ...Usually. Didn't save me from missing a final once due to remembering the time slot for it wrong, even though I triple-checked it. I'm just lucky that the prof was lenient and liked me a lot.

Memory loss blows ass, guys. It's frustrating, it's horrible to live with, and it's so scary. How do you even begin to remember what you forgot if you know you can forget that you forgot to begin with? How can you ever be sure of anything in your mind? How do you know people around you aren't just manipulating you because they know if they tell you that you must have forgotten something, you'll trust them because you aren't reliable? What do you do when major facts just disappear out of your grasp while you're staring right at them?

...if I ever figure out any answers, I'll let you know, but the interim solution is post-it notes, checklists, and a lot of phone alarms. Does it work? ...eh. Marginally better than nothing. Part of why I like personal blogging is that it's a prosthetic memory. I will not remember even things that were greatly important to me unless I keep records, and having those records be fun to add to keeps me from forgetting that I'm adding to them. It's stop-gap at best, but it's something, so...yeah. I don't even have advice other than if you don't have memory problems, be kind to people who do. I swear to you, nobody forgets things just to make problems. The problems are almost always ten times worse for them than anyone else.

i feel like we dont talk enough about how distressing and disturbing memory loss issues are. forgetting what you were talking about halfway through a sentence, putting something down and instantly forgetting where you put it. having to reread one paragraph over and over again because by the time youve moved onto the next sentence you dont remember what the one before it said. always doubting if your memories of things are real, not being able to remember important life events.

its so incredibly scary, it feels like your mind is constantly playing tricks on you and you start to doubt whats real and what isnt.

“i forgot” is treated like a lazy excuse when it’s genuinely such a big issue for so many people.

#chronic illness #memory #memory loss #disability

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ohthehypocrisy · 9 months ago

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Tatsugiri & Dondozo for Pokemon Unite!

Season 1

Season 2

Prev: Cradily - Hatterene - Tropius - Cacturne - Ditto - Weavile - Ogerpon - Coalossal - Gogoat - Galarian Slowbro - Luxray - Breloom - Uxie, Mesprit, & Azelf - Wobbuffet - Obstagoon - Lanturn - Castform - Dusknoir - Persian

Pokemon Unite lets you control only one pokemon at a time due to how synchronization works. The mental strain of controlling additional pokemon at once is too much for trainers, so it's just you and your pal versus the world, oh, and your teammates too, sometimes.

There are a few workarounds to this, though. Some pokemon are capable of controlling others, like Vespiquen or Salazzle, but those are through pheromones. In the case of Tatsugiri, it seems like Dondozo are very partial to its suggestions and will obey its orders without question. If we were to make a Unite License for Tatsugiri, there's no doubt that you'd also have control over Dondozo as well.

Like a proxy chain of command.

First off, these are the stats for Tatsugiri, which is described by the PokeDex as being small and weak. Now, I understand that you can't help being short, but I find it hard to believe that Tatsugiri is considered weak with a high Sp. Attack stat. I mean, yeah, the low HP and Defense make it easy to knock out, but it has a powerful friend to help cover for this shortcoming.

In contrast, these are the stats for Dondozo, sporting a magnificently high HP, Attack, and Defense stat, but lacking in everything else. It's big for a fish creature, but it's not very smart either, relying on Tatsugiri's instructions to bait and catch prey. Being able to command a powerful brute like Dondozo means that Tatsugiri has an easy time dealing huge amounts of damage with its help. For that reason, I designate these two with the role of an...

Attacker

Basic Attack - Ranged/Sp. Attack

Becomes a boosted attack after two hits. The boosted attack deals increased damage and decreases the cooldown of Commander.

The boosted basic attack reduces the cooldown of Commander by 3 seconds.

This'll be quick, as Tatsugiri's basic attack is meant to supplement its Ability. Yes, due to its unique two-for-one nature, Tatsugiri & Dondozo's Unite License has some stipulations revolving around how to play as both pokemon.

More specifically, you switch control between the two by using its Ability, Commander.

Ability: Commander

When the pokemon faints, it will shift into Bait Mode instead of returning to its PokeBall. Dondozo can be summoned by activating this ability while Tatsugiri is in Bait Mode. Upon activation, Dondozo appears and takes the user into its mouth. The user will be in control of Dondozo for a short while afterwards. This ability goes on cooldown afterward. If Dondozo is summoned while the user has fainted, it will begin restoring HP over time, ending when Dondozo leaves the battlefield and returns control to Tatsugiri.

The Tatsugiri you control is known as Curly Form, and will resemble a piece of shrimp sushi when in Bait Mode. If you faint, you will not return to your PokeBall until your respawn timer hits 0, at which point, you'll be transported back to base.

When Dondozo is summoned, Tatsugiri will be taken into its mouth and put you in control of Dondozo for a while. A huge splash of water is made at the location, dealing major piercing damage and Shoving enemies away on hit.

The duration of control depends on Dondozo's HP. More specifically, Dondozo has its own base stats that scale with Tatsugiri. The higher your Level, the better Dondozo's stats are.

Dondozo's HP scales very high naturally, and also increases by adding your HP stat to its own. However, Dondozo cannot actually be damaged by enemy attacks. Its HP stat becomes more like a timer, decreasing in duration by percentage and continues to decrease when it gets hit by opposing pokemon. Damaging enemies while in control of Dondozo stalls the timer going down by 1 second.

Tatsugiri deals Sp. Attack damage while not using Commander. Dondozo deals Attack damage, combining its own Attack with Tatsugiri's Sp. Attack stat. In this way, Tatsugiri can boost its Sp. Attack freely without having to accommodate Dondozo.

Dondozo is immune to damage and hindrances while in control. Dondozo cannot also be affected by moves and buffs used by allies.

Dondozo's basic attack is a wide sweeping tail attack that Shoves enemies away on hit. The attack is slow on recovery.

If Tatsugiri was KO'd when Dondozo is summoned, its HP restores by 5% each second. When Dondozo disappears, Tatsugiri will respawn at its current location with whatever HP it managed to restore.

Commander goes on cooldown for 60 seconds when Dondozo disappears.

This here is the crux of Tatsugiri & Dondozo and how you're supposed to play as the two. By activating Commander, you'll dive into Dondozo's mouth and switch from controlling a small dragon that looks like lunch to a writhing giant catfish that can split a boat in half with a tail swing.

We're getting ahead of ourselves, though. Firstly, Tatsugiri doesn't have a traditional 'fainting' animation like other pokemon. When it goes down, it'll switch to 'Bait Mode' and curl up like a piece of shrimp tail sushi. It's mostly for show, though this trap will remain on the battlefield for a while until your respawn timer actually ends.

The point of Bait Mode is to lull your enemies into a false sense of security. See, Tatsugiri likes to play dead to lure in prey looking for a cheap meal, but in Pokemon Unite, it makes them think that the area is clear of enemies. There is a reason it's called 'Bait Mode' as there are other ways to trigger this effect to fool your enemies into thinking that the coast is clear.

The application potential is there, but for the most part, you can only summon Dondozo while you're in Bait Mode. The enemy won't know for sure when Commander is active, so it's likely that they'll steer clear of Bait Mode until you respawn. Even so, it might be worth it to bring Dondozo out anyway, as your HP is slowly refilled from 0 while you're fighting as Dondozo. I would advise against this in the early game though, as Dondozo doesn't have a lot of longevity starting out. You'll see what I mean.

If enemies are around when Commander ends, that puts you in grave danger, as Commander has a whopping 60 seconds of cooldown before you can summon the big guy again. Not only is that a full minute of waiting for Dondozo to come back, your opponents know they have a whole minute to do whatever they want to you. See, a KO'd Tatsugiri can defend a Goal Zone, which is hilarious to think about, but only if Commander is online. If you get gutted like a fish defending a Goal Zone after failing to defend with Dondozo, they'll basically own that zone and score all the points they want.

That's why the basic attack has a basic effect of reducing the cooldown of Commander for you. It takes 20 boosted basic attacks to fully restore the cooldown of Commander, though it'll be a lot less than that considering how much time it'll take to build up those boosted attacks.

Because of how reliant Tatsugiri is on Dondozo, it's no surprise that the rest of its moves are centered around reducing the cooldown of Commander. The more often you play as Dondozo, the better your odds of winning.

At the start of the game, you can choose between Water Gun and Taunt as your first move. By Level 3, you'll have learned both.

Move 1: Water Gun (Ranged)

The user shoots an explosive shot of water that bursts on hit. The cooldown of Commander is drastically reduced if this move KO's an opposing pokemon. 6s cooldown.

Water Gun creates an explosion in a small area of effect when it hits an enemy or reaches the maximum distance. The cooldown of Commander decreases by 10 seconds if this move KO'd a pokemon on the opposing team.

Tatsugiri may be small and weak, but it has a very high Sp. Attack stat, and it's not afraid to use it. Water Gun is a simple starting move like any other, but it's volatile nature of going for kills when the opportunity presents itself make it risky to be around. If you're vulnerable, Tatsugiri has no problems making a jump for prey if it can do so by itself.

If Water Gun nabs a KO for you, you'll be rewarded with not just EXP and Aeos Orbs, but also a lot of time shaved off of Commander. With 10 whole seconds reduced, Water Gun would only need to score another 5 KO's to completely free up Commander. You'll need even less than that considering the additional wait time of Water Gun's cooldown, which is a ridiculously fast 6 seconds. The blast effect makes it possible to hit multiple enemies at once, so imagine how quickly you can bring out Dondozo with a double or triple KO.

Of course, Water Gun behaves like most projectiles in that it is a solid shot that explodes on contact with an enemy or after reaching the maximum distance. It passes through walls easily enough, thankfully, but it may be frustrating to see that Water Gun gets blocked by a healthy enemy, saving their weakened ally and depriving you of all of that cooldown reduction.

At least the cooldown for Water Gun is pretty low. Your Sp. Attack is also fairly high, meaning you can get the KO with Water Gun at decent HP thresholds without having to weaken the enemy a lot.

It won't be much use to you if the enemy doesn't hold still. Luckily, with a bit of dramatic deception, you can fool them into dropping their guard with a timely Taunt.

Move 2: Taunt (Buff)

The user enters Bait Mode and reduces the cooldown of Commander by a little bit. The cooldown of Commander decreases for each hit of damage received by the opposing team. Afterwards, the user's Sp. Attack, basic attack speed, and Movement Speed increase for each hit of damage received. 9s cooldown.

Taunt reduces the cooldown of Commander by 5 seconds. The cooldown of Commander decreases by another 5 seconds for each hit of damage Tatsugiri receives while in Bait Mode.

When Taunt is used, your HP will 'drop to 0' before disappearing and activating Bait Mode. Your HP bar remains hidden until Bait Mode ends.

Bait Mode lasts for 4 seconds, after which your Sp. Attack, Movement Speed, and basic attack speed increase by 10% for each attack you receive, capping at 150%.

Frail pokemon with bluffing moves and effects are some of my favorite designs, as a successful bluff requires a lot of skill on the player's part. That's why I'm never upset when enemy Zoroark get me good with their Illusion ability, as it's not easy to fool perceptive people like me tongue-in-cheek.

Tatsugiri is also a frail pokemon that has to rely on making a smart bluff to get the most out of its effects. Firstly, when you use Taunt, your HP bar will appear to drop to 0 without warning before you shift into Bait Mode. This deceptive ploy is meant to trick the enemy into thinking you've been defeated, as your HP bar goes into hiding until the bluff ends. While you could summon Dondozo at this point, it might be wiser to hold the bluff long enough until the nearby enemy drops their guard and Water Gun comes back off of cooldown. I'd imagine a weakened enemy might go for a manual recall in order to rotate lanes, not realizing that you're still in the fight, playing dead, waiting out the microseconds for Water Gun to be ready to use.

The best time to use Taunt is when you're at low HP or when an enemy with high damage potential is nearby, like a Sobble or an Absol. Pokemon like these guys are no stranger to dealing surprising amounts of damage out of nowhere, so they won't be all that suspicious if you used Taunt and suddenly dropped dead right in front of them. It's all for the best that these two are squishy pokemon, prone to getting easily KO'd themselves. Playing dead gives you just enough time to wait for Water Gun to come back online.

Before we move on, Taunt is classified as a Buff move because of the boons it grants to you for each hit of damage received. Because you're playing dead, you cannot be targeted by basic attacks and Sure-Hits because you are technically respawning. That said, in the middle of a team fight, the enemy might still throw out some moves at your allies, and these effects might hit you while you're in Bait Mode. It's risky, but every little hit adds a 10% boost to your Sp. Attack, Movement Speed, and basic attack speed for a short while afterwards. There is a limit to these boosts, but it's very unlikely to hit the cap before you are KO'd, so take your hits on the cheek in moderation. Oh, and each hit reduces the cooldown of Commander by 5 seconds, meaning you only have to get hit 11 times to fully reset the cooldown of your Ability.

Also, you're banking on the enemy team not paying attention to the KO notification on the top screen, as Taunt is very good at tricking the enemy, but not the game itself. No fake credit for KO's or anything, so don't hold your bluff for too long.

At Level 5, Water Gun becomes either Muddy Water or Dragon Pulse.

Move 1a: Muddy Water (Area)

The user splashes filthy water directly forward, obscuring the vision of enemies on hit. The cooldown of Commander decreases dramatically if this move KO's an opposing pokemon. 8s cooldown.

At Level 11, Muddy Water becomes Muddy Water+.

Expands the area of effect.

Muddy Water obscures the vision of enemies for 2 seconds on hit. Opposing pokemon will be covered in mud while their vision is obscured as a visual aid for the duration of the hindrance.

Commander has its cooldown decreased by 15 seconds if you KO an opposing pokemon with this move.

Muddy Water splashes in a small area in front of Tatsugiri when used. Muddy Water+ increases the size of this attack by 50%.

In addition to Tatsugiri's bag of dirty tricks, it also likes to put some mud in the eyes of the enemy. Muddy Water splashes this filth everywhere in order to blind the enemy for a short while, giving it enough time to enact its plan.

The cooldown is longer than Water Gun, but the range is considerably larger and easier to use. This range increases further with Muddy Water+, as it becomes much more likely to KO weakened opponents at its current power level. Speaking of KO's, it also decreases the cooldown of Commander by 15 seconds off of a successful KO, compared to Water Gun's 10 seconds.

Now, as to how to use the blinding effect of Muddy Water, it wholly depends on how you use Bait Mode and Dondozo. If the enemy is blinded but still throwing out attacks, you can go for Taunt and pretend to play dead to lull the enemy into a false sense of security. Or you could reposition yourself to a better spot to summon Dondozo, as cutting off their escape route is one way to secure a KO against a tough opponent like Mewtwo.

There are other ways of abusing the blinding effect. A classic example is to ambush an entire platoon of enemies with Muddy Water, obscuring their vision and giving an opening to your teammates to unload their own burst damage. It's also useful to retreat, as 2 seconds is just enough time to hide in a nearby plot of Tall Grass, and if the enemy comes looking for you, you can surprise them with Dondozo appearing out of nowhere.

Compared to Dragon Pulse, Muddy Water is a lot more tactical.

Move 1b: Dragon Pulse (Ranged)

The user jumps forward in the direction they're facing, then launches a condensed shot of dragon energy in the designated direction. The dragon energy explodes on hit with an enemy. The cooldown of Commander decreases dramatically if this move KO's an opposing pokemon. Up to 3 uses can be held in reserve. 3s cooldown.

At Level 11, Dragon Pulse becomes Dragon Pulse+.

Up to 4 uses can be held in reserve.

Tatsugiri will jump in the direction it is facing before firing Dragon Pulse where you are aiming at. Dragon Pulse pushes you back a little bit when launched.

Dragon Pulse reduces the cooldown of Commander by 10 seconds when this move KO's an opposing pokemon.

A more aggressive version of Water Gun, Dragon Pulse trades in the utility of Muddy Water for direct damage through explosive energy blasts.

Dragon Pulse can be aimed with both control sticks, as Tatsugiri will jump in the direction it is facing before firing the attack in whatever direction you're going for. It keeps Tatsugiri mobile while attacking, which is good for a frail Attacker, and it also can use this move repeatedly through multiple uses.

The move hits much harder than Water Gun and continues to increase in damage the more Levels you gain, but at this Level, the opposing team will have started fleshing out their moves for the game, so be careful about how you approach fights.

Not much more to say about this move. It hits hard and can be used repeatedly, making it a direct upgrade to Water Gun in every way. The multiple uses make it easier to secure a KO, though you're still only likely to get one or two KO's through persistent attacking. Each shot has a potential to reduce the cooldown of Commander by 10 seconds, so the best case scenario is to score multiple KO's in a team fight. That does put you at risk of getting KO'd yourself, so don't get too crazy with Dragon Pulse.

Playing dead will only get you so far. You have to increase your schemes to nefarious levels. Preferably Level 8.

At Level 8, Taunt becomes either Nasty Plot or Mirror Coat.

Move 2a: Nasty Plot (Buff)

The user comes up with a nasty scheme, increasing its Sp. Attack, basic attack speed, and Movement Speed greatly for a short while. The cooldown of Commander is decreased a bit. During the buff, the user's HP bar is replaced with a fake one, decreasing the user's HP more than usual when receiving attacks. If the fake HP bar reaches 0, the user enters Bait Mode for a while and the cooldown of Commander decreases again. 10.5s cooldown.

At Level 13, Nasty Plot becomes Nasty Plot+.

Increases the buffs gained.

Nasty Plot increases your Sp. Attack, basic attack speed, and Movement Speed by 100% for 5 seconds. Nasty Plot+ increases these boosts by 125%.

The cooldown of Commander is decreased by 7.5 seconds when Nasty Plot is used. It is decreased by another 7.5 seconds if the user enters Bait Mode during the buff.

Nasty Plot replaces your HP meter with a fake one for 5 seconds. The fake HP bar shows your current HP but will appear to take more damage than usual to opposing pokemon when hit by attacks. If this fake HP bar reaches 0 before the move ends, Tatsugiri will enter Bait Mode for 5 seconds.

Taunt requires precision and perception to utilize correctly, as it requires you to anticipate what you and the enemy think will be lethal damage. With correct timing, you can fool an enemy into thinking you've been KO'd, only to suddenly bring out the big guy after having reduced the cooldown of Commander to 0. It's an intellectually demanding move, and it's hard to utilize the buffs you get afterwards, considering all the damage you'll have taken.

Nasty Plot continues this nasty scheme without having to put yourself at risk, kind of. You still need to get hit for the plan to work, but your power to deceive has greatly increased. First of all, you get a huge boost to your Sp. Attack, Movement Speed, and basic attack speed for a short while, filling you with gusto and chum to take on the entire enemy team. You're not invincible, even with the big boost to your stats, but you don't need to be, especially with a fake HP bar hiding your vitality.

This is a unique effect similar to Zoroark's Illusion ability. Your HP bar is copied and replaced with a fake one, taking more damage than usual from opposing attacks while your real HP is decreasing normally. Now, the enemy won't suspect a thing because of how squishy Attackers like Tatsugiri are, but they'll know something is up if you don't show up in the KO feed. Just like with Taunt, you can fool the enemy but not the game, so take advantage of the confusion of excess notifications during heated bouts.

Now, when the fake HP bar reaches 0, Tatsugiri will play dead and enter Bait Mode. You only have 5 seconds to decide what to do next before Bait Mode ends. Do you summon Dondozo if it's available to you, or do you wait for your moves to come off of cooldown? The cooldown of Commander decreases by a total of 15 seconds when Nasty Plot is used and shifts you into Bait Mode, so there's a good chance you can bring out the big fish to finish the fight for you.

Whatever you're planning, be mindful that most enemies won't fall for the ploy twice, at least not in quick succession. Then again, there's not a whole lot they can do about triggering Nasty Plot, as in addition to the scheming thought bubbles that pop up when Tatsugiri uses the move, the only thing that gives away the moves effects is a suspiciously weaker HP bar and a suspiciously high damage output coming from the little fish. At least Nasty Plot has a very high cooldown to deal with.

A different scheme you can play is to trick the enemy with a mirror.

Move 2b: Mirror Coat (Buff)

The user gains a huge shield that shines brightly. The shield casts a mirage that shows you standing in place while you are in Bait Mode. Every time you are damaged, the shield will reflect a portion of the damage dealt back to the attacker, along with some of your own Sp. Attack stat. The mirage will appear to counterattack with basic attacks. The cooldown of Commander will decrease for each shot reflected. When the shield fades away, the mirage ends and the user will remain in Bait Mode for a short while afterwards. 9s cooldown.

At Level 13, Mirror Coat becomes Mirror Coat+.

Increases the amount of cooldown decreased from Commander.

Mirror Coat gives you a 20% shield when used. At the same time, you enter Bait Mode for the duration of the shield plus an extra 1 second.

Mirror Coat casts a reflective illusion to deceive the enemy. Opposing pokemon will not see that you are in Bait Mode. They will instead see you standing still.

Mirror Coat reflects 120% of the damage received from attacks along with some of your Sp. Attack stat. When Mirror Coat reflects damage, you will appear to be using your basic attack to enemies.

Each time you are damaged during Mirror Coat, the cooldown of Commander decreases by 2.5 seconds. Mirror Coat+ increases this to 4 seconds.

There's a scientific test called the Mirror Theory where animals can be tested for their intelligence by reading how they respond to their own reflections. Some recognize their sense of self while others think it's a rival animal and start attacking it. Tatsugiri is the scientist in this scenario, but instead of testing for intelligence, it wants the idiots to fall for its trap.

Mirror Coat is another ploy just like Nasty Plot where you get a pretty big shield but then shift right into Bait Mode. Instead of playing dead, you're playing alive while playing dead all the while your enemies think you aren't playing dead. You following me so far? Good.

The shield casts a mirage that makes enemies think you're just standing in place without a care in the world. Any attack received will be countered by what appears to be your basic attack. In actuality, this is Mirror Coat reflecting the damage back at them, turning the lost shield into counterattack damage. In addition to that, any hit the mirror receives reduces the cooldown of Commander by 2.5 seconds, increasing to 4.5 seconds with Mirror Coat+. This is way less time than Taunt, but since the enemy can't see that you are in Bait Mode, they're more than willing to hit you with all they've got, plus more thanks to the huge shield given to you by Mirror Coat.

Now, because it is a shield, it doesn't last forever. When the shield is broken or fades away, the mirage disappears and you'll stay in Bait Mode for an extra second. You won't be fooling anybody with this cheap trick, since there's no fake HP to play dead with, but you don't need it. You'll be banking on all the cooldown of Commander being reduced through Mirror Coat to bring Dondozo back online and onto the battlefield.

Also, keep in mind that you are in Bait Mode the entire time Mirror Coat is active. The enemy won't know the danger they are in while the shield is up, and you can even activate Commander before Mirror Coat fades away. This is important because Mirror Coat is the only way you can summon Dondozo without appearing to be in Bait Mode to the enemy team. It's also the quickest way to manually summon Dondozo without waiting for Bait Mode to happen at 0 HP.

The downside to Mirror Coat is the reliance on your shield, since a huge percentage of a small HP bar doesn't amount to much. There's also the fact that you can't move or use your other attacks while in Bait Mode and Mirror Coat has you pretend to not be in Bait Mode while it is active. Lame as it is, it's not a good idea to use Mirror Coat in the middle of a team fight and expect to achieve much from the ensuing scuffle.

Although, if the enemy knows you are running Mirror Coat, you can bluff Mirror Coat by standing still all of a sudden. This won't work unless you have a shield to add to your deception, but it'll be worth a shot.

Before we get to the Unite Move, it's time to cover the big guy himself. What makes Dondozo so powerful that Tatsugiri's entire moveset is dedicated to fishing it out?

When Commander is used, Dondozo takes Tatsugiri into its mouth. You'll be able to control Dondozo for a short while.

Dondozo Ability: Unaware

Dondozo deals damage to opposing pokemon ignoring their shields and buffs. The pokemon's moves gain additional uses based on the Level of Tatsugiri. The duration in which Dondozo remains in control is lengthened slightly when the user deals damage to an opposing pokemon.

While Dondozo is in control, it deals piercing damage to all enemies, ignoring shields and buffs.

Every 3 Levels, Dondozo's Moves gain an additional use. At Level 12, this maxes out to 5 uses. Its moves share this use counter.

As stated before, the duration of control of Dondozo stalls for 1 second when damage is dealt to the enemy team.

Now, remember the stats for Dondozo at the beginning of the post? In addition to an extremely high HP stat, Dondozo also sports average Attack and Defense that help it out in head-to-head combat, something that Tatsugiri struggles with. It has very low Sp. Defense and Speed, which gives it trouble dealing with ranged attacks, but that isn't a problem since Dondozo doesn't have a traditional HP Bar.

Instead of HP, Dondozo operates on a timer. Its HP ticks down by a percentage each second, giving you at most 10 seconds to deal as much damage as possible when Dondozo is summoned. Since the HP bar is also your timer, getting hit by attacks will decrease the duration of control even further, though given Dondozo's high defensive stature, it'll only decrease the time by a microsecond or two. Opposing Sp. Attacks will decrease your timer by a lot, though, so before you bring Dondozo out, prioritize neutralizing Sp. Attackers with Tatsugiri, since it has better range and Sp. Defense to deal with them.

As for Dondozo's actual impact on the battlefield, its Unaware abiltiy kicks in as soon as it is summoned. It makes a huge splash on the field when it shows up, dealing big damage to nearby enemies. Oh, and the Unaware Ability makes all of Dondozo's attacks deal piercing damage, ignoring shields and Defense buffs.

Going on the offensive is your best bet, as dealing damage prolongs your control of Dondozo by a second each time. It won't increase the timer by 1 second for each enemy hit, just one second when an attack connects. That's all well and good, but your basic attack is very slow, and the windup and wind down takes more than a second, so a successful hit won't add much to your control timer.

What about your moves though? Well, Dondozo can use two moves while it's out and they don't use cooldowns, since Dondozo is operating on limited time anyway. But instead of cooldown, it uses a shared use meter, just like Blissey's Egg Bomb and Softboiled moves when used together. You get an extra use every 3 Levels, maxing out to 5 uses at Level 12. It's easy to reach this Level, but you still have to be careful with how you spend your time and resources while playing as Dondozo.

Hitting enemies extends your play time as Dondozo by 1 second each time a move connects. You can only play as Dondozo for 10 seconds uninterrupted, after which you switch back to Tatsugiri and you'll have to wait 60 seconds for Commander to come back online. If you want to make the most of Dondozo's power, you better not miss your attacks.

Dondozo Move 1: Wave Crash (Dash)

Dondozo charges forward cloaked in rushing water, Throwing enemies on hit. If this is the last move used, Dondozo launches Tatsugiri from its mouth directly forward.

Enemies are Thrown for 1 second on hit.

Tatsugiri is launched forward at the end of the dash if Wave Crash is the last move used.

The sheer size of Dondozo turns this charging water attack into the naval equivalent of vehicular homicide. Wave Crash hits so hard and is extremely hard to avoid, as even a glancing blow will send enemies flying in the air for a solid second.

I did forget to touch on one extra thing, though. Dondozo can be controlled for 10 seconds, after which you'll switch control back to Tatsugiri. However, if your moves run out of uses before then, Dondozo will tire and spit Tatsugiri out, depending on the last move used. At the beginning of the game, this means that you won't really be able to utilize Dondozo much if Wave Crash or Order Up is your first move, as it'll send Tatsugiri flying immediately. This is what I was talking about earlier, how Dondozo won't have a lot of time to play if you bring him out early in the match.

If you are forced to bring out Dondozo before the 8 minute mark, you're better off using basic attacks until time is up, at which point you have to decide which finishing move to use. At higher Levels, you can be a lot more wanton with what moves you use, as you'll be able to use these attacks repeatedly. Maybe with Wave Crash you can dash 5 times to Stun the enemy into submission for a cheap KO, but then you lose out on the the damage boost Order Up can give you.

When Dondozo comes out, it comes with both moves learned and ready to use. And believe me, Order Up is worth the grind.

Dondozo Move 2: Order Up (Ranged)

Dondozo drops a platter of fresh sushi at the designated area. Your Sp. Attack, Defense, Sp. Defense, and Movement Speed increase for each Order Up that damages an enemy. If this is the last move used, Dondozo launches Tatsugiri from its mouth along with the attack.

A platter of nigirizushi is dropped at the designated area. If an enemy is hit by this move, your Sp. Attack, Defense, Sp. Defense, and Movement Speed increase by 25% for the duration you are in control of Dondozo.

Each use of Order Up stockpiles the buffs, maxing out to 125%.

If Order Up is the last move used, Tatsugiri is thrown along with the sushi platter. Any buffs gained from Order Up will linger for 7 seconds afterwards.

The Sp. Attack buff also boosts Dondozo since Tatsugiri's Sp. Attack stat is added to Dondozo's Attack stat for its attacks.

The ironic thing about shrimp sushi is that it is the most cooked version of the food you can order. I mean, not regarding crunchy rolls, but it's a decent choice for those conscious about eating raw fish. Although, if you have a shellfish allergy and hate raw fish, then you simply are unable to enjoy Japanese cuisine like the rest of us.

As for the opposing team, you don't know for sure which ones are allergic to shellfish, but they are allergic to huge platters of wood being dropped on them. Order Up throws a big platter of nigirizushi at the designated area, damaging all enemies within the area of effect. In the games, this move boosts one of your stats depending on which form of Tatsugiri Dondozo has in its mouth, but in Pokemon Unite, it powers up all of your relevant stats.

Tatsugiri adds its Sp. Attack stat to Dondozo's Attack, so any boosts received from items and emblems benefit the both of them equally. That's why Dondozo seems to power up with the Sp. Attack boost from Order Up, since the two are working together. Order Up only boosts your stats by a little bit, but these boosts stack with each use, so you really want to level up enough to get multiple uses out of Dondozo's moves.

Unfortunately, since Wave Crash and Order Up share uses, you cannot use Order Up 5 times without sacrificing Wave Crash. It's a shame too, because the boosts are permanent while controlling Dondozo, and they continue to linger for a while when Tatsugiri is spat out. It might be tempting to stick to the ranged effect of Order Up, but it doesn't hinder enemies the way Wave Crash does, nor does it share the same impact of a giant fish charging and splashing water everywhere.

Just focus on Leveling up. It increases the uses of your moves and also Dondozo's stats, not to mention that your Unite Move unleashes the combined might of both Dondozo and Tatsugiri.

Unite Move: Commanding Connoisseur (Buff)

Tatsugiri and Dondozo unite to fight together on the battlefield. While Tatsugiri sits on top of Dondozo's head, Dondozo can be directed and controlled by the player. Wave Crash and Order Up will launch different Tatsugiri when used, and each one will use either Muddy Water or Dragon Pulse at the nearest enemy. Tatsugiri will have its HP fully restored if this Unite Move was used while in Bait Mode.

Commanding Connoisseur has Tatsugiri and Dondozo join up as normal, but with Tatsugiri standing on top of Dondozo's head.

Different Tatsugiri are launched with Wave Crash and Order Up, keeping their effects. These Tatsugiri can be either Curly Form, Droopy Form, or Stretchy Form. This is purely aesthetic and doesn't affect how the moves are used.

The launched Tatsugiri will use either Dragon Pulse or Muddy Water once at the nearest enemy, depending on which move you learned. They will prioritize opposing pokemon on the enemy team.

Commanding Connoisseur lasts for 12 seconds and you are completely invincible during this time. However, the duration of Commanding Connoisseur decreases when the pokemon receives attacks from the opposing team.

Tatsugiri relies on ambush strategies to get its food, and Dondozo is more than willing to wait for lunchtime. However, put these two in a contest of power, and they become capable of unleashing their combined might unrestricted. Now, Tatsugiri leads the charge with its faithful steed Dondozo, forgoing all pretense of strategy and planning, choosing to go all out and attack.

For 12 seconds, Tatsugiri and Dondozo fight together as one, as the little fish stands tall on the head of a big fish like a captain of a mighty vessel. And just like a ship, Dondozo is teeming with more Tatsugiri in its mouth than normal. The power of Commanding Connoisseur allows you to use Wave Crash and Order Up repeatedly while the Unite Move is in effect, and each one will spit out one of these Tatsugiri stowaways when the move is used. These feisty fishes will land with an attack, either Muddy Water or Dragon Pulse, depending on which one you've chosen, and target the nearest enemy on the opposing team. You spread a lot of damage this way, and it's uncontested as you are invincible.

Well, not completely. Getting hit reduces the timer of Commanding Connoisseur, as it is normally when controlling Dondozo with Commander. The upside is that you can use your moves repeatedly without being forcefully spat out by Dondozo, it just spits out different Tatsugiri. But other than that, if the enemy team aren't afraid of a rampaging giant catfish, they'll brave the storm and fight back, reducing your play time by a bit, especially if they're keeping their distance with ranged attacks.

For the most part, though, Commanding Connoisseur gives you quite a defensive buffer when engaging in a team fight. You can directly challenge the entire enemy team fighting for an objective like Regieleki and potentially steal the KO from them. If you used the Unite Move while in Bait Mode, you'll return to the battlefield with full HP, letting you enact your revenge on those who wronged you. Of course, you're still a squishy Attacker, so do your due diligence before tactfully retreating.

Never underestimate the power of teamwork.

Achievements

Reduce the cooldown of Commander by a total of 150 seconds in one match.

Dondozo is necessary to Tatsugiri's survival, so an achievement based around bringing it out as often as possible is the key to success when playing as Tatsugiri. 150 seconds is pretty demanding though, as that equates to 15 KO's with Water Gun or Dragon Pulse, or 10 KO's with Muddy Water.

You can bring it down even further if you use Nasty Plot or Mirror Coat to their full effect. Use these moves to trick the enemy, and then bring out the big fish as soon as the cooldown of Commander is reset.

You do need to use Commander whenever it is available in order to make progress with this Achievement. Reducing the cooldown of Commander isn't possible when the ability is online. Of course, you shouldn't bring out Dondozo for no reason. The big fish performs best when fighting 2 or 3 opposing pokemon, using Wave Crash to Stun the enemy and Order Up to boost itself.

It's in your best interest to master reducing the cooldown of Commander, as the more often you play as Dondozo, the more value you add to your team. It's better to be a big fish in a small pond, after all.

Holowear

Now, since the license does specify that you can play as both Dondozo & Tatsugiri, you might think that both of them like to dress as a pair. Well, remember when I said that Dondozo is partial to the orders of Tatsugiri? Yeah, that only applies to battles, not standing still to get your measurements taken by the holowear tailor. No big suits for the big fish, just the little sushi dragon.

Not to worry, though, as Tatsugiri gets some top quality holowear to purchase. First off, the fairly obvious Cook Style Holowear gives it a tiny little chef's hat and apron. Then there's Sailor Style Holowear which dresses it up like a naval officer, complete with white hat with the blue stripes, white shirt, and blue ascot. For a bit of humor, Space Explorer Style Holowear gives it what could be a space helmet, but it's just a fish bowl turned upside down and worn as a helmet by Tatsugiri. It's got the fake plants peeking out from the rim and everything. Well, at least it has Captain Style Holowear to make it more dignified, what with the pirate hat, pirate coat, and even an eye patch to complete the look. Finally, Dondozo Style Holowear fits the little fish into a sock refurbished to resemble its big ol' friend, with cute buttons for eyes and pipe cleaners for fins.

Serving up looks while serving up lunch, that's what fashionable Tatsugiri do.

Strategy

Playing as Tatsugiri boils down to two distinct modes of battle. Mode one should be playing as Dondozo, whereas Mode two is reducing the cooldown of Commander in order to summon Dondozo. Tatsugiri is small and frail, so it's important to have Dondozo ready to join the battle when you need it.

To that end, you must master Tatsugiri's moves. Muddy Water and Dragon Pulse are useful in their own right, but their main purpose is to KO the enemy. I mean, the same can be said for just about every move in the game, but for Tatsugiri moreso, since a successful KO reduces the cooldown of Commander dramatically. How you use these moves is up to you, but they both have different applications.

Muddy Water has a blinding effect when it hits an enemy, and I've already gone over in-depth at how to use this effect in the move's description. I was a lot more curt with Dragon Pulse, since a mobility based projectile attack is valuable for a frail Attacker to have. It has a bit of recoil to it, so it's useful to attack the enemy while retreating. Both moves are powerful, but you should avoid trading KO's with the other team just because an opportunity for multiple KO's presents itself. It'd be terrible to have Commander come back online while you're 10 seconds away from respawning.

As for Nasty Plot and Mirror Coat, both of these moves are tricky but effective at reducing the cooldown of Commander, though they require a steady hand. Like I've said before, Nasty Plot is pretty good at tricking the enemy into thinking you've been KO'd, but if it doesn't get acknowledged by the game's KO notifications, the jig is up and the ploy will fail. Ironically, this makes Nasty Plot better suited for team fights, where pokemon are getting KO'd left and right, you just have to watch out for the inevitable Burst damage. As for Mirror Coat, the ploy is a lot less obvious, though the move is used more for damage and quicker summoning of Dondozo than it is for actually fishing the big guy out.

Actually playing as Dondozo is where all of your damage for the game will come from, as it is the safest way to spread thousands of points of damage without any risk to the little sushi dragon. By jumping into Dondozo's mouth, Tatsugiri is safe from any and all attacks. Dondozo is also immune to damage, though its HP continues to tick down as a timer. This sheltering effect does mean that it cannot be boosted or healed by allies, so for the brief amount of time you are playing as Dondozo, it'll just be you against the enemy team by yourself.

Luckily Dondozo is ridiculously strong, especially with its Unaware Ability granting it piercing damage with every attack. Defending against Dondozo will be difficult for the enemy team, as the only way to reliably shorten its playtime is to attack it directly without getting hit in return. That said, because its moves gain uses as Tatsugiri levels up, it is extremely limited in what it can accomplish at the beginning of the game. It can never open with a Wave Crash or Order Up when it shows up for the first time since that will immediately end Dondozo's control and spit Tatsugiri out along with the attack. This means that, until the Tatsugiri has leveled up considerably, the opposing Dondozo is safer to play around than it may seem.

It still shouldn't be underestimated, as Dondozo can still uses its massive size and hard hitting basic attack to hinder the opposing team's ability to counterattack during team fights. The tail swipe covers a large area, but it's very slow and it doesn't add much control time to Dondozo when it hits. But if it does hit, hoo boy, you'll be sent flying like a jet ski spinning out. This can severely hamper the opposing team's efforts to control the battlefield around Regieleki or Rayquaza, so if you see an opposing Tatsugiri strutting up to the fight as if they don't have the wet paper defenses of an Attacker, be prepared for a storm of fish. That's fish, singular.

One last thing to cover, and that's the Unite Move, Commanding Connoisseur. It basically removes all of the limitations of Commander and unleashes the full power of both Dondozo and Tatsugiri combined. It allows Dondozo to use its moves freely without having to give up its turn in battle and it lets Tatsugiri's friends join in the fight. The little sushi dragons are excitable and will throw out Muddy Water or Dragon Pulse when they pop out of Dondozo, though these moves aren't as effective as when Tatsugiri itself uses these moves. I mean, you'd hate to be permanently blinded by Muddy Water, or hit by 3 shots of Dragon Pulse by each Tatsugiri, right?

While you can use Commanding Connoisseur at any time, your HP will be fully restored if you activate the Unite Move while in Bait Mode, especially while you have fainted. This makes Tatsugiri unique in that it technically has a self-revive move, which would be even more broken if it wasn't a squishy Attacker. It just means that KO'ing a Tatsugiri is anything but a done deal, as it can choose to summon Dondozo through either Commander or Commanding Connoisseur, and it'll come back at full strength if it does so through the latter option.

The duration of Commanding Connoisseur ticks down normally when Dondozo receives damage, just like normal with Commander, so bold opposing players may choose to reduce your impact by attacking you from afar. If you know the enemy knows this, then you should prioritize taking out these ranged Attackers, for your team's benefit as well as your own. Otherwise, the Unite Move will end and you'll have to endure the volley of attacks aimed right at you without the protection of the big fish, and it's not an endeavor you're likely to endure.

Fishing is made up of 3 parts, the bait, the rod, and the fisherman. Bait the fishes with an easy KO, and then use the rod to take them down. You're the fisherman in this scenario, so hold steady and reel in the next big catch. There's a sushi platter with your name on it at the end of the day.

And this has been Tatsugiri & Dondozo for Pokemon Unite! I really love the idea of two pokemon occupying a Unite License together and working really well because of it, and quite frankly, I can't imagine Tatsugiri joining Unite without Dondozo in tow. As such, a two for one special, by one sushi boy, get a big catfish friend for free!

Phew, this has been quite the journey, but I'm not done yet. Stay tuned next week for the home stretch of Season 3! Until then, see ya!

#Tatsugiri #Dondozo #Pokemon Unite

0 notes

radicheart-a · 1 year ago

Note

"🎤"

Send "🎤" to catch my muse singing. Add “+” for the reverse.

"♪ Hold still, my sweet, I'm trying to measure the space between your molar and your jaw. This caliper. No cause for fear, no, it, it doesn't hurt. It only helps me measure how much skin you have.

Oh, and the topmost layer of fat. But I won't make an incision 'till you're nice and numb.Oh, and laughing gas can be so much fun. Please don't doubt my decision!

This'll be ooh, this'll be aah, this'll be absolutely whee! This'll be nice, this'll be neat and bring you closer to me! So don't you squirm, don't you fret! I'm not gonna hurt you...yet! I just feel the need to be gettin' a little of you, a lot of blood-lettin'! I know the sensation you're probably dreadin', but cutting you up will be so refreshin' for me!

Refreshing for me-e-e, yeah! ♫"

(song)

#davidthepyro #( ask )#(( Yeah ofc he gets that one ))

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liopleurodean · 1 year ago

Text

Season 10, Episode 9: The Things We Left Behind

I can already tell the parallels are gonna be strong with this one

Oh. I know this episode.

...Dean?

I'm sorry. Transition center?

I like her already

Yikes

That can't be humane

Nice

I can't tell if she doesn't actually know how to throw a punch, or if she knows that's not productive

Claire Novak!

Looks like fun

Oh boy

Hi, Cas

Yeah, no kidding

This is gonna end so well

Yeah...

Poor Claire

Unfortunately not

By God, presumably

He wants to help you

Because he felt bad

That's a sucky thing to do

Something like that

This is why I hate the American childcare system

Anyone who says that is most certainly not living the dream

There's a lot that she needs

Cas.

This is great

It wouldn't go that quickly

The voice crack 😂

That's a long story

Exactly

Oh boy

That's actually a great way to put it

I'm sorry

Cas.

Actually, that works, because it sounds like a dad joke

Eh...

There's a whole lot more to it than that

Yeah, I figured

Yeah...

I love him. So very much. He's so ridiculous. Nobody laughs that hard at the 3 Stooges

Also the fact that, of all the things he could be watching/doing, he chose this

True

The beginning of the grilled cheese saga

Yes

Uh oh

...Cas?

The fun way!

Hello, Rowena

Like a dog

Yeah...

He won't believe you

Why would she do that?

And fries!

Thank Dean for that

Eh...

It's the truth

Free Will!

Aw.

But you shouldn't have to

He's got a point

She's gonna ditch

Yup, that was on purpose

Really, Cas?

This is great

Dang it, Claire

By, Claire

It definitely qualifies

Or a missing person?

Ouch

Come on, Dean

Let the Dad Mode™ kick in

In Dean's world

Something like that

That's fair

Claire is not one of them

But he can save Claire

I doubt that

Not great™

Hah! Liar

Yup

I'm not sure if he can

Oh, Dean...

Yikes

Better than silence

That's rough

She's his mother

Yeah...

Oh, Crowley

That's... that's really horrible

Is there a fun kind?

She has information

We know, Gerald

Dude.

That's interesting

This is suspicious

Awesome

Not really

Oh boy

That's not a crime

And here it is

I'm sorry, I just have to say--when I worked fast food, I could not WAIT to get my uniform off. There's no way I'd be having family dinner in a Weiner Hut costume

...what?

Oh boy

Cas.

Kinda hard to talk when you're choking

Claire, no...

Oh, thank goodness

And so it begins

She remembers

Yeah, well...

You won't do that

Claire...

She's... not exactly wrong

Oh, Claire...

Maybe

But he provides a home, and that confuses her

He's been there

Here we go

Battle of wills

I don't really believe that

That's arguably the funniest line in the entire series, I love Rowena

Not on purpose

Eh...

He's got a point

There's that 'blood' line again

I don't believe her

Yeah

But she's still got a point

Oh, Cas

Yeah, that's Chuck for you

Dean has... a complicated relationship with John

And Sam is having Thoughts™

Not a chance

That's not even remotely true. Don't gaslight yourself

Not as bad as the coasts

Weird

I forget that Metatron ruined Cas' pop culture experience :/

Oh, this'll be good

This is gonna be REALLY good

He got roofied

Oh please, you're predictable

That's because he's scary

That sounds about right

Yeah.

Oh, Dean

I guess...

Surprisingly

Yeah, that sounds like trouble

Uh oh

Claire. Don't do it

Wow

That's a lot

That's horrifying

Come on, man

Figures

Interesting

I'd believe it

That just proves it

Right

Yeah, figures

Hah! We know what that means

I need the soundtrack for this season

This won't end well

That's disgusting

Go Claire!

Hi, Cas

Rip that guy

Let her have this

Alright, time to go

Oh boy.

They will

Yeah, I know this scene.

You really don't

Dramatic slo-mo

Oh, Dean

Why did they bring her back inside?

Sam...

Oh, Dean...

#ashla chick flick moments #supernatural #season 10 episode 9 #the things we left behind

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chezzywezzy · 3 years ago

Text

Yandere Jasper Hale (1/10)

Word count ; 3.9k

*Dedicated to @plumes-de-nuit. This'll definitely be the longest series yet. I... didn't realize I loved him so much.

*Also : R & Jacob & other love interests are 18. Jasper… y’all already know he ain’t a teenager.

*Edited:3

I stared out of the car window, watching as the trees passed by. Bella was beside me, and we were currently riding in dad’s police car. He’d picked us up from the airport, as we were moving here for our last few years - or, for me, a year - of high school. While Bella pitched the idea, I jumped in on it. I was eager to see the world, even if it was just Forks, after all these years. I had grown bored of Phoenix. Not just the weather, but the boys. There were no cute boys that I hadn’t already gotten or attempted to get with.

I also really wanted - no, needed to catch a break from mom’s strict rules. She thought I was a troublemaker just because I went out a lot and occasionally got detention.

Oh, and I’d literally follow my dearest sister to the ends of the earth. But I’d never tell her that.

It was already raining. I knew that Bella hated the rain, but I loved the new scenery.

Charlie pulled into the front lawn of a pretty standard house. It was white and green and is a two-story. I knew that it probably had a basement, though. In Phoenix, we had a flat one-story home surrounded by cactuses. I hated the weather, but I’d developed a darker tan for my s/c.

I stepped out of the back and raised my hands up the air. “Woohoo! Glad to be home.”

Charlie sent me a smile, appreciating the enthusiasm. Other people would see this scene as awkward, but that’s just how the family was. Bella was like dad, demure and introverted. And I was like mom, outgoing and extroverted.

Charlie insisted that he'd get our bags for us. I enjoyed the help, since I had a pretty hefty suitcase. Not to mention, I had a large backpack already strapped to my chest. Dad led us inside, allowing us to kick our shoes off, before showing us our rooms.

He must’ve been going off what he knew of us when we were younger, because I knew without a doubt that Bella’s favorite color was green. However, her room was themed purple. Mine, though, was perfect. I loved pink as a kid, and I loved pink now. Was just about to get settled in when Bella hovered in the doorway.

“Hey, some people are out front. Charlie’s calling us.”

I blinked in confusion, but trailed behind her. I was already starting to get comfy, throwing my clothes all over the room. However, I knew dad was a straight-to-the-point kind of guy. As Bella commented on the plane, 'One of the best things about Charlie - he doesn’t hover.’ It was odd wording, but I knew exactly what she meant.

As we exited through the front door, I threw an arm around Bella’s shoulders. Sitting by the side of the road was a rustic red truck. I could already tell Bella was eyeing it enviously. Yet, my attention was more fixated on an older man in a wheelchair and a former childhood friend who I recognized instantly. Jacob.

We made eye contact, and I immediately sent him a smile. He smiled back. I noticed how he’d grown his hair out and he was a lot more mature than he was a few years ago.

Charlie waved us closer. “Bella, Y/n, you two remember Billy Black.”

“Yeah!” I exclaimed, dashing forward to shake his hand. Bella seconded my statement, although in a much chill-er way.

“Wow, you’re looking good,” Bella commented.

“Well, I’m still dancing,” Billy replied with a chuckle. “I’m glad you’re both finally here. Charlie, here, hasn’t shut up about it since you told him you were coming.”

“All right, keep exaggerating. I’ll roll you into the mud,” Charlie muttered playfully.

Charlie took a few steps away, but Billy began wheeling after him. “After I ram you in the ankles!”

“You want to go?” Charlie bickered, and as they eased around, it left Bella and I with a chance to greet Jake.

“Jake! It’s been forever,” I cheered, pumping my fist into the air. His grin widened even further, and I opened my arms to welcome into a hug. He took it, quickly hugging, while Bella watched in amusement.

“Glad to see you’re just as energetic as ever,” Jake laughed. “How do you do it?”

“Lots and lots of coffee. And, of course, Bella’s here, too. Bella, you remember Jake, right? Or were you too tiny?”

Bella slapped my arm playfully. “You’re only a year older than me, geez. Yeah, I remember you, Jake. It’s great to see you again.”

Jake nodded to her. “Yeah, uh, we used to make mud pies when we were little.”

“Gross,” I commented.

Bella shook her head. “You weren’t as cool as Jake and I were. Eating mud is, uh, definitely a healthy past time.”

I crossed my arms, pouting playfully. “I just have etiquette. I am the eldest out of you two, after all.”

Jacob looked at me incredulously. “By a few months.”

Bella tilted her head over to Charlie and Billy’s antics. “Are they, uh, always like this?”

Jake bared his teeth while nodding. “It’s getting worse with old age.”

Billy and Charlie finally joined us again. Charlie patted the truck. “So, what do you think?”

“Of what?” Bella asked in confusion. I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulder, peering at Charlie with equal bafflement.

“Your homecoming present.”

Bella’s jaw dropped. “This?”

Charlie shrugged. “Just bought it off Billy here.”

“Yep!” Billy seconded.

Bella detached to me, and we both went to hug the car. “Oh, my god!” I exclaimed.

“I totally rebuilt the engine for you,” Jake spoke up.

Bella was gasping for breath, and she hopped into the truck. “Come on, seriously? This - this is so cool! Oh my gosh!”

“This so-o-o perfect —“

“Actually,” Charlie interrupted, "your mom gave me a head’s up that you’re a reckless driver. This is Bella’s homecoming gift. Your’s is still inside.”

My jaw dropped. “Wh a-a-at? You’re kidding me! I’m the best driver in the world!” I huffed leaning against the car.

Charlie shook his head, chuckling. “Your mom informed me of how you had to retake your driver’s test more than two times. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your present inside a lot more. Besides, I’m sure Bella can drive you where you need to go.”

Jacob weaved around the front, laughing at my repugnance, and hopped in beside Bella to show her the works. I was left pouting while Billy and Charlie talked. I was only a little insulted that I wasn’t trustworthy enough to sit behind the wheel, but fair enough. I’d be satisfied as long as my gift was just as cool.

“I told you they’d love it,” Billy joked.

To be fair, though, I knew that Bella really loved cars. She’s loved them ever since we were kids. While I wanted to be a princess, she wanted to be a race car driver. Of course, both of our ambitions had changed, and now she planned on being a mechanic.

“I’m down with the kids!” Billy added, motioning ‘coolly.’

“Oh yeah, dude. You’re the bomb.” I snickered quietly at dad’s sarcasm.

I leaned into the open window when the car started up. “…Do you want a ride to school or something?” Bella inquired. I also wanted to know the answer.

“Oh, I go to school on the reservation,” Jake answered.

I pouted while Bella sighed, "Right, right. That’s too bad. It would’ve been nice to know one person.”

“You’ll be fine, Bella. I bet you’ll be friends with half the school by the end of first period,” I spoke up.

Bella laughed. “I’m pretty sure that’s you you’re talking about.”

I tilted my head innocently. “Oh, is it? I must’ve forgot.”

~~~

Bella and I hopped out of our new car. Technically her’s, since dad bought me a cool gaming console, but we’re sisters so I’d undoubtedly steal it from time to time. Luckily, the school year was just starting, so we couldn’t have stood out too much. Well, except for the fact that our truck was bright red. And my clothes were equally flashy. I loved being the center of attention, although I knew Bella loathed it. Somehow I wondered how we came out of the same vagina.

Bella and I walked side by side into the school. The weather was dreary and dismal, just how I liked it. We pulled out our respective schedules. Bella had been responsible and circled her’s, while I was only vaguely aware of what classes I’d signed up for.

Suddenly, a black haired, Asian student who was well dressed saddled up beside Bella. I dropped the schedule to my side, waving eagerly. “Hello!”

Bella jumped, meeting the boy’s gaze. “You two are the Swan sisters. The new girls,” he greeted. “Hi, I’m Eric, the eyes and ears of this place. Which of you is Isabelle and Y/n?”

“Bella, actually,” Bella tittered. “This is Y/n.”

I waved again, and the guy grinned charismatically. “Nice to meet you, Eric.”

“Anything you guys need? Tour guide, lunch date, shoulder to cry on?”

I could tell Bella was petrified. She could barely release coherent words from her lips. However, she needed to learn how to be socially inept. “Uh, I’m really kind of the more suffer-in-silence type. Y/n’s the one you should be asking.”

His gaze flitted over to me, and I switched hands, wrapping an arm around Bella. “Don’t mind her. She’s shy. A lunch date sounds great. Right, Bella?”

Bella nodded anxiously. Eric continued, not noticing her discomfort. “Good new for your feature. I’m on the paper, and you’re news, babies, front page. The title can be something freaky, like ‘opposites attract in the womb.’”

Bella looked utterly mortified. She halted in her steps. “Uh, no we’re not. I’m not. You… Please don’t have any sort of…”

“Woah, woah, chillax.” Eric waved his arm dismissively. “No feature. Unless you, Y/n, want one.”

I shook my head. “Nah, I’ll pass. It would be rather difficult to write an article and not mention my other half.”

“Cool, cool. Anyways, I’ll be off. See you two at lunch!” Eric really was off. He disappeared into the flood of people immediately, leaving me to Bella.

She exhaled anxiously and I patted her back before looking at my schedule. “P.E. What a grand start to my week.”

“Oh, thank god,” she sighed. “Me too. At least we share one class.”

I chuckled, grabbing her arm. “Let’s get going, then. I can’t wait to meet new people. Eric’s cool, but we - more so, you - need some gal pals.”

Bella sighed, allowing me to drag her off to P.E. I knew I wasn’t the best at sports, but Bella - she was god awful. I knew she’d make a few friends from just being an athletic train wreck. As much as I loved her, she was way too perfect. Athletics was certainly her downfall.

We walked into the gym and changed quickly. The uniform was cute, a quaint tank top and shorts. Bella specifically brought sweat pants from home, as I knew she had some body insecurities. I, though, was more than glad to show some leg.

We walked out, still attached to each other’s side. I immediately waved to two girls who were playing volleyball. They waved back, motioning for us to join their team. Class hadn’t started, but the students were clearly basking in the new school year energy. The pair of girls had just been playing, but we separated into teams after a brief introduction. Needless to say, it was Bella and I against Sabrina and Jules.

“Bella, get it!” I called, too far away to get the ball. I was carrying the team, pretty much two against one, while Bella lingered behind me.

She punched the ball, sending it into the net. I sighed, going to pick it up, while Sabrina and Jules said they were going to use the bathroom. That was code for them waiting a different partner. We waved them off. I picked up the ball and started making my way to Bella. Suddenly, a volleyball came flying past me and collided with Bella’s face.

Out of instinct, I burst into laughter, dropping our ball.

“Whoa!” a boy with dirty blonde hair exclaimed, running over to us.

Bella recovered, having caught the ball after it hit her face. She sent me a glare and threw it back at me, but I caught it, sending her a coy grin.

We both turned to the boy. He was slightly taller than both of us, and from his garb, he was probably on the school’s basketball team. “I’m so sorry about that,” he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. “Basketball’s more of my forte, not volleyball.”

Bella stuttered, waving dismissively. I interrupted, "To translate, she means it’s fine. I’m Y/n, she’s Bella.”

“Yeah, hey, I’m Mike Newton.” He held out his hand for me to shake, which I accepted. I sent him a wink, mesmerizing him further. Bella clicked her tongue, coming up behind her and placing her forehead on my shoulder.

“More like Mike Haw —“

I was interrupted by a girl with light brown hair, hung in a pony tail. She skipped over to us, standing beside Mike. “He’s got a great spike, huh? I’m Jessica, by the way. Hey, you two are from Arizona, right?”

“Jessica, hi! You’re so pretty,” I answered, sending her a smile. “Yeah, we are.”

“Aren’t people from Arizona supposed to be, like, really tan?” She quickly corrected herself. “No offense, though, Bella.”

“None taken. Uh, yeah. Maybe that’s why they kicked me out. Y/n, uh, definitely got out more than I did.”

Both Mike and Jessica laughed, and I couldn’t help but snicker. Mike pointed while stating, "You’re good.”

“That’s so funny,” Jessica chimed in.

Bella held up her hands, waving, as she backed away. “Uh, nice to meet you. Y/n’s planning to teach my volleyball, now so…”

“Right. See you around, Arizona,” Mike directed, more so at me.

“Right back at you, Washington and Jessica!” I winked and let Bella drag me off the a more deserted area of the gym.

“They seemed nice,” I commented optimistically.

“…Sure. But boy, are people scary.”

“Girl, get used to it. I’ll indoctrinate you into my way of life whether you want to or not.”

~~~

“It’s my pleasure, madam,” Mike suavely eclair, having taken my tray for me. Bella trailed behind me, quiet and demure as always. Bell plopped down next to Jessica, while I situated myself between Mike and Eric due to unfortunate seating arrangements. Eric was previously droning on about some project, and our appearances interrupted the conversation.

“Hey, Mikey, you met my homegirl, Y/n, eh?”

I quirked a brow, while Bella waved to the girls.

“Oh, your girl, eh?” Mike hummed.

A laugh bubbled in my throat, but in that moment, a boy appeared beside me and planted a kiss on my cheek. I gasped as he declared, 'my girl,’ before dashing away. A blush rose to my cheeks, and Bella looked more than happy to not be in my situation.

Mike’s chair was pulled from under him and I covered my mouth in surprise. “Sorry I had to mess up your game, Mike!” he shouted as he disappeared amongst the other students. Mike took off after him, leaving me mentally exhausted.

“Oh-h-h my god,” Jessica gasped. “It’s like first grade all over again. You’re the shiny new toy.”

I clicked my tongue. “It’s shocking Bella isn’t getting the attention. I mean, just look at her! Absolutely stunning. Plus, she’s got brains.”

Bella laughed, waving dismissively. Suddenly, an Asian girl with glasses and her hair done up in a pony tail leaned across the table with a camera. “Smile!”

I was caught off guard, but grinned anyways and gave a peace sign. Bella shrank away instantly, making me lose focus since it made me laugh. The girl shrunk away, muttering out an apology. However, her gorgeous smile didn’t fade.

“I needed a candid for the feature,” she explained, plopping in her seat.

“The feature’s dead, Angelia,” Eric sneered, rather hardly. I quirked a brow. Eric rose to his feet and grabbed my shoulders, leaning over. “I got your back baby.”

I was glad that it was just us girls left and Eric went off to do whatever the hell he wanted. “It’s fine…? I’m starting to think all the guys at this school are crazy,” I chuckled.

Angela scoffed. “I guess we’ll just run another editorial on teen drinking.”

Bella spoke up, clearly feeling bad for causing drama. “You know, you can always go for… eating disorders. Or speedo padding on the swim team.”

“I vote the latter,” I eagerly remarked. I slid down the bench and took my rightful place beside Bella, now that the boys had disappeared.

“Yeah. Actually, that’s a good one,” Angela agreed.

“Kirk, right? That’s exactly what I thought,” Jessica gossiped. “We’re talking Olympic size.”

“There’s no way. He’s so skinny. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I mean, how big are his hands? You know what they say about big hands,” I teased.

The girls laughed, but I noticed that Bella’s attention was strewn elsewhere. I followed her gaze, seeing that a cliche of incredibly pale and insanely good-looking people walked into the cafeteria. I noticed that Bella was most focused on the latter, the one that wasn’t paired up. There was a blonde and black haired couple holding hands, an awkward guy and a hippy and slash or tomboy bickering, and the last was silent, seemingly just as fixated on Bella.

“Who are they?” Bella spoke up, nodding to them.

“The Cullens,” Angela answered.

“They’re Doctor and Missus Cullen’s foster kids,” Jessica continued in a hushed tone. “They moved down here from Alaska, like, a few years ago. They kind of keep to themselves.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’re all together. Like, together-together.”

“The blonde girl, that’s Rosalie, and the big dark-haired guy, Emmet, they’re, like, a thing. I’m not even sure that’s legal.”

“Jess! They’re not actually related.”

“Yeah, but they live together! It’s so weird. They’re legally family. And, okay. The little dark-haired girl is Alice. She and Jasper, the guy who looks like he’s in pain, aren’t actually together. Apparently, Jasper has some anxiety problem or something.” I glanced back at them, noticing that even with how stoic Jasper looked, he was quite attractive. “Um, Doctor Cullen’s like this foster dad slash matchmaker.”

“Maybe he’ll adopt me,” Angela sighed dreamily.

However, that information wasn’t enough to satiate Bella. Her eyes were glued to the final assumed family member. “Who’s he?” Bella asked.

“That’s Edward Cullen. He’s totally gorgeous, obviously, just like Jasper, but apparently, like Jasper, nobody in this school’s good enough for him.” Jessica snickered dryly. “Like I care, you know? So… yeah. Seriously, though, Bella, Y/n. Don’t waste your time.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Bella chided.

“Well, I might. That Jasper fella’s pretty cute for a, and I quote, 'guy who looks like he’s in pain.’” Angela snorted, and I followed Bella’s gaze. I peered over my shoulder, seeing that her and Edward were making intense eye contact.

I couldn’t help but stare, and Jasper glanced over at us. I sent a smile, holding up my hand and waving. I noticed his mouth twitch before Alice stole his attention away. I returned my attention to the table to see that Jessica and Angela were both looking at me.

“Don’t tell me you just waved at him,” Jessica gasped. “You’re seriously wasting your time. You know that, right? What, are the guys falling at your feet not good enough?”

Bella clicked her tongue, and Angela teasingly followed up, "You’re totally a player.”

“Wha-a-at? No. I’m just friendly,” I chimed. “Besides, I’m not interested in guys like that. I have no idea why I’m the ‘shiny new toy’ when Bella’s right here.”

“It’s because I don’t make a scene,” Bella noted.

“Well, Jessica, if you’re asking if I’m interested in Eric or Mike, definitely not. I’m not blind, girl. Mike’s for you, dearest girl, and Eric’s obviously into Angela.”

Angela gasped. “You really think so? But he’s never been that friendly or flirty with me.”

I shook my head. “Nonsense. He’s just trying to make you jealous.”

Jessica laughed. “And what about Tyler?”

“Who?”

“The guy who kissed you on the cheek earlier.”

I scrunched up my nose. “No-o-o way, José. I know a cute guy when I see one, and Tyler’s not it. Jasper, though… He’s definitely my type.”

“Well, good luck. They barely talk to anyone outside their clique,” Angela sighed. “Believe me, we’ve all tried to talk to them.”

“It’s because they’re all freaks.”

I frowned, but in that moment, an arm wrapped around my shoulder. I looked up, seeing that Eric and Mike decided to rejoin the group. Eric attempted to steal the seat beside me, but Mike shoved him aside, sliding beside me with ease. He threw his arm around my shoulder, shaking me excitedly.

“Not at all, actually. And give it up, guys,” Jessica groaned. “She already has her he’s on the prize. And before you chase Bella, she’s enamored by Edward Cullen.”

“We’ve returned. I’m sure you all were dying for us to bless you with our presence,” Mike announced.

“Dream on,” Eric sighed. “Ne-e-ever going to happen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them talk to anyone but each other or the teachers.”

Mike removed his arm and Eric sighed. “Damn, really? Oh, you’re breaking my heart, baby.”

“I’m not like my sister,” Bella tittered. “I just… think he’s interesting.”

Bella unsurely glanced over her shoulder. I did so as well, noticing that Alice and Jasper were chatting while looking at our table. Japer’s gaze flitted over to mine, and he raised his hand, giving me a curt wave and smile. My heart jumped in joy and I grinned.

Mike wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer. My expression immediately morphed into a displeased pout. I directed a glare him way, and he teasingly remarked, "Hey, I’m not going down without a fight.”

I shrugged off his shoulder. “Have fun with that, buddy.”

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