#i dont wanna ruin my sleeping schedule that i worked so hard for this week...

[gureshinlover]

Born to draw forced to sleep

[imsorry4whatwebecame]

whenever you see this, idk why im like this but i overthink a lot and ik we’re just friends but still i overthink and i overreact, and since ur going to be away for this week imma do both a lot and imma try to leave you alone but im gunna constantly think about what she’s doing, and shit. my mind is constantly thinking she’s doing shit behind ur back to hurt u on purpose (ik ur not, but thats just how my mind works) n there’s some like ill vibes between us and i want to b on good terms again, lately you been awaking up at 5pm and i haven’t had the time with u cus you wake up and you disappear for an hour, i miss when we were clingy, ig this is change cus we’re not what we used to be, n since you’re gunna b in a different state this week im going to b worrying n worrying and idk why i would b i shouldnt cus ur arent mine and im not yours, but ill try not too ill try not let my mind cloud my judgment and bother u with texts over texts ruining ur time, but ik u wont see this soon, id just like texts now n then this week lol idk why well ik why cus when ur out ur out n since ur going to be out this whole week i prolly wont get a text at all, and i understand snapping pictures is hard but idk, u always like why u wait for me, why you can let me be, im addicted to you i wish i wasnt but i am and ik i shouldn’t, its never been this hard to get over someone, i kinda struck gold when i u came back into my life, idk why idk how, ik this year has been rough for you but n ik i dont help but im here for the whole ride, i texted u, to text me when u get there n i didnt want to cus i know u we’re driving but i had to say it. there was so many other posts to like but you like that one n idk if u liked it cus u want me to do that to u or u wanna do that to me. ///i know this prolly a cheap move telling u this over tumblr but i dont wanna tell u this over text n ruin ur week with bad vibes. so im doing it over this cus ull see it whenever/// my friend keeps going why i still fuck with her, he keeps going block her but i can never block you, n ik the day will come when u find someone else n ill have no control over that ill just have to let it be, n i dont want this to make u feel bad cus you did what you had to do to be what you wanna be, i respect ur choice, n i might be sick in the head for writing all this but i had to let you know how i felt through a rant at the moment i was feeling them, it stupid of me but i feel like everyone is out to get me, n ik maybe its wrong for me to b in the know but like i feel like we’re not opened enough like i wanna tell u everything but whats stopping me is i want u to be present when i tell u it but i honestly just might be annoying n not waiting for u to b there n just start spilling everything as i possibly could. i wanna tell u how my whole week went, i wanna tell u it over facetime cus itd be easier, i wanna facetime u cus i never see u anymore, i bought all this crystal i wanna show u irl, n ik u said “itll be awkward if you make it awkward” n imma try my best to not make it awkward, i had a dream last night where we were in this schoollike place and you said do you wanna get lunch together as n id love too, but i know im saying all this and youve got you going on and im srry if i bother you with that it prolly makes me look like tje bad guy cus im not respecting, (even tho i am in a way) like i know u dont wanna go out n it have that date vibe n you dont feel well enough to go out , i hope this doesn’t come out like im blaming or anything cus im not im honestly just rambling now cus ive had all these emotions built up this morning since i woke up at 9 and i hate this new sleeping schedule im on cus i go to bed hella early n i wake up early n i wait n ur prolly like this is self sabotage or like ur not good for me, i feel like u hate ik u prolly dont, n u say ill finds someone better but better isnt want i want i want u cus noones like u n ik i shouldn’t say that cus i dont want u to feel bad for not being with me, ill get over this but dont think that from what all i said that its better for

[casixtonpetsites]

im makin a lil present for somebody + im RLY RLY HAPPY with how its turning out but i dont wanna ruin all the surprise so. heres this.

(info abt my schedule recently to explain my severe absence below the cut)

i work two jobs and go to school and quite frankly im exhausted and i know i keep saying this and sometimes it changes and sometimes it doesnt but this is the first time ive gotten to draw in nearly two weeks and thats rly rly unhappymaking. ive been pulling like 25-35 hours at one job, 12-18 at the other, (the past three weeks have been the heavy end of the latter) and then school on tuesdays and thursdays for 3 hours basically, and the past week and a half ive been sick. i mean im pretty much over it now, just stuffy nose, but that was Hell because i had to work doubles open to close (open at a coffee shop for me is 8am, closing at a theatre is midnight at the earliest, do the math for sleep, yeah?? roughly 6 hours PLUS being sick to the point i shouldnt have been serving coffee to ppl lmfa o) almost every day bc nobody could cover any of my shifts bc theyre all FUCKING LAZY im still mad whatever ANYWAY

im just. trying to do this for somebody, i havent been able to rly log into aywas, i havent even been big on blogging in general on my main and thats rly easy with the app to just go through when i dont have customers, but like. not recently and i feel dead inside and out, its rly Not Great but im fucking poor so i cant not take the shifts im given. and like, yall dont know this but i live with my mom and i pay for a lot of things already (groceries, internet, both our phones, gas on occasion (i dont drive so i dont have a specific amount of gas money for budgeting), but shes got a job that only pays abt 150 a week (untaxed, so she has to pull out like 60$ of it for taxes later on) so i already have to worry about paying ofr more things like the water electric and heating (thankfully no mortgage bc we bought the house outright a few years ago) but like. the lil money my mom makes for working fuckin 8 hours a day is garbage and shes also started drinking again (i wouldnt say recovering alcoholic bc she never rly recovered and shes a pretty high functioning alcoholic,, but not recently,,,) so the money she DOES get to keep goes to eating out, and buying things she rly cant afford (cigarettes, alcohol, weed, etc.,) and im left struggling to make sure we have enough money to pay for everything........ and honestly I Cant Do This bc im like 5 yrs old i can barely handle not crying when a bug lands near me?? so im just constantly stressed and im sorry if ive just. stopped tlaking to anybody and everybody and ignoring ppl and not doing things but i literally a) do not have the time b) do not have the stress control and c) have the energy to even do anything and im sorry for that but life is hard and my 21st birthday is next month and im terrified to spend it near my home bc my momll use it as an excuse to go out to the bar or something sklhfkhegh

and honestly if im already saying all this garbage homelife stuff im still rly annoyed bc my ex boyfriend who broke up w/ me in november is STILL LIVING AT MY HOUSE and hes not contributing anything other than being my moms drug supplier basically?? originally he helped with fixing house things like redrywalling my moms room and painting my room and retiling my room and partially retiling the dining room, but he hasnt done anything in MONTHS and hes contributed NOTHING and hes not even TRYING to find somewhere else to live, after he said hed be gone by the end of january, and im rly frustrated bc im poor and hes poor and wont give me anything and he owes me 150$ that hes forgotten abt and i dont know how to bring that up properly?? as well as ITS BEEN FOUR MONTHS SINCE HE BROKE UP WITH ME PLEASE LEAVE MY LIFE STOP SITTING HERE AND STRESSING ME OUT MORE ugh but at least he has an adorable dog and i love her

also if u read this far im sorry im also just kinda. venting onto this blog by accident but w/e its under a cut (sorry to folks on mobile? i dont know if the cut works on mobile all the time) SCREAMS i have to work in a half hour ugh,, at least i got to sleep in a lil and draw a lil i guess

[sh-lan]

OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???

Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue

It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T

This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu

April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well

oop i just bought more rings goodbye money

my charger broke gg time to get another one

I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back

When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break

SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke

week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker

Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut

First attempt at 양념치킨~

been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T

went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL

currently craving anything strawberry

don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time

under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL

i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole

i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder

Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww

I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):

This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-

Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding

Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone

Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”

Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel

finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE

When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;

어떻게

Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3

highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh

You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol

Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):

i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know

most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA

Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA

Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend

Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop

Dammit i got called for jury duty

Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss

Week 5 i’m sick…

just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago

fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered

thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting

week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school

I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍

I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH

ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now

Really debating the 4th term

third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???

…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear

bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut

i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im

Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired

salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl

I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself

Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad

May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️

im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair

omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL

Just tryna level up here :<

Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning

Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips

watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED

Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me

Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL

i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???

lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever

LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run

Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i

When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh

i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o

Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL

Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed

Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life

May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????

Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH

Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL

Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened

nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL

Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography

Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING

Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”

I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake

Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼

First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list

I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL

i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird

i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL

ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure

omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh

Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;

after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*

okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY

i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-

hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?

burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary

week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home

NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa

“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings

Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol

that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg

dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now

Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit

My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE

Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit

Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….

saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I

put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T

ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM

JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot

i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me

so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts

omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*

Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too

lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home

finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL

and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL

and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅ��