#i dont wanna put a lable on myself and intrude on peoples spaces

[not-5-rats]

I've been feeling things, many things

[This is just me rambling abt my feels again, been feeling bit lost inside myself recently, just wanna yap abt it for a while]

I don't know who I am, like I know who I am but there feels like there more than me here

In my head

In my body

There isn't just me, there's others.

From what I hear there aren't many others, only 3 or 4 more, but that's way more than anyone I know has up in their brains

They have names, they have colours and styles they enjoy...one even has an age...but I'm not that age, this body isn't that age. They enjoy different types of music, different foods and it's so confusing trying to organise how this room should look because everyone has a different opinion

Sometimes they're quiet and sometimes they're loud, they never really do anything, like they commentate my life never personally taking action...but recently one did do something

I lost my cool with a friend, I sent him lots or angry/ hateful messages but I didn't want to be saying that. I held my phone and refused to read what I was writing..but I didn't have to because someone else was, they felt angry, I could understand that, but I wasn't. Jet wasn't angry, but somebody was, and I don't know who else it could be

I never felt so out of myself before, like yeah I've disassociated, I've felt out of control, out of touch, but I've never felt like my body was getting mixed signals, not like this

I'm scared, I don't know what's going on

I'm feeling all these emotions but they're not mine, I'm having all these dream like memories that aren't mine and I just feel so lost

I don't know who I am

But I know who Jet is

I am Jet, but I feel like there are others who respond to my name as though it's their own