#i dont think the others would have consistent tattoos (though i could be persuaded to give sanji a drunken tramp stamp)

[mangokabuto]

New tablet finally came! To break it in I decided to make myself some HC references. I really struggle with consistent faces and ESPECIALLY with profile faces, so i made myself a guide lol

I was originally going to do everyone but i got tired <3 and I don't struggle with the others as much lmfao

[leeknowsintrusivethots]

Take a Deeper Look - PT 4

{Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4}

Pairing: Jay Park/You, Simon D/You

Summary: AOMG’s newest producer has a lot to deal with including a flighty CEO who doesn’t understand the concept of “personal space” and feelings for yet another CEO who is so far beyond her reach she doesn’t even think she has a chance.

Content: ANGST FOR DAYS & Some fluffy bits.

Word Count: 3,114

Notes: I feel productive. 

Weird.

Life is weird.

Everything is weird.

It was the only word you could think of. How else could you describe the mess that had taken form around you? You had slept with Jay Park - your boss of all people - and now you were in the AOMG break room watching coffee brew like it was more interesting than the Dos Equis guy. For every drip of the dark liquid and every errant thought about Jay, a piece of what little mental stability you had left wavered. He had been on your mind consistently since you had given him every inch you had to offer.

It was unnerving and almost as annoying as the group that sat at the tables behind you gossiping. They had all showed up while you watched your coffee brew and had proceeded to prattle on and on about mindless drivel that didn’t matter. It was beyond you how people could care so much about their coworkers’ personal lives. You weren’t really listening, until two certain names caught your attention.

"Kiseok and Soori are official now." With the simple gossip, your heart clenched and you entire body stilled. Despite having brushed them off earlier, you were now listening raptly.

"Yeah, she confirmed it with a couples picture on Instagram", a staffer scoffed with a hint of disgust. Apparently you weren’t the only one with less than fuzzy feelings for Norma Bates. You assumed it was the fruity smell. Enjoying the company of someone who smelled like strawberries and acted like the world was rainbows and sunshine all the time would have to be difficult for anyone.

"It was a cute photo of them though," someone else chimed in. You immediately didn’t like whoever it was. They would be lucky if they made it out of the break room not drenched in piping hot coffee.

"Rappers and their model girlfriends," another staffer sighed. "When will I ever be so lucky." Laughter and aimless chatter followed as chairs scrapped against the floor. As their footsteps receded you were left alone with your greatest enemy - yourself.

You supposed you should be comforted that they were so busy talking about Kiseok and Soori that no one seemed none the wiser about you and Jay, but of course you weren't. The news had your stomach rolling and your heart pounding a painful symphony. You had waited too long - to fearful of inevitable rejection - to tell Kiseok that you loved him in a completely different way than you knew he did you. It boggled your mind and made you sick to your stomach to know that you had never had the courage to do something so simple but you sure as hell had enough cojones to have sex with Park Jaebum.

I have royally fucked everything up, you thought to yourself as the last of the coffee dripped into the waiting pot just as your self-pity reached an all time high. You willed yourself into action and reached for one of the Styrofoam cups next to the coffee pot but instead your hand landed on a larger one. You knew that hand, the tattoos were a dead giveaway alone but the feeling of them was burnt into your memory. It wasn’t long ago at all that you had learned those very same hands were capable of magic.

"You're always so distracted," Park Jaebum stated as your hand fell away from the cups. He was standing right behind you - almost touching but not quite. Your face flushed at the proximity with the memories of the night before taunting you. It was surreal in a way. It generally took a lot for you to become comfortable enough for casual skinship but what you had done with Jay was way beyond casual.

You cleared your throat as you racked your brain for a witty comeback. It was hard to think straight in the position he had put you in. You were trapped between the counter and him with no way or will to escape. He was pouring coffee, you managed to note as your brain stuttered for something even remotely normal to grasp onto. Soon the cup was prepared and sitting in front of you as he braced himself against the counter. His chest pressed into your back with the movement. You could feel the now familiar hard panes and ridges through the layers of clothing. You could have sworn your toes were already curling in your shoes as your eyes fluttered close when his lips made a trail along the curve of your neck. Fire was left in his wake.

"Make sure you keep your hair down, babygirl." The only thing that registered was the pet name. It had your knees nearly buckling out from under you. You steadied yourself by gripping the edge of the counter. Someone could see the two of you at any moment, but it was hard to care when even the close proximity of Jay set your nerves aflame. His teeth grazed your skin, eliciting a small gasp from you that was met by a chuckle from him.

"Not so shy anymore, are you?" he asked as he pulled away to lean against the counter next to you. You stared at him dumbfounded. How could he act so nonchalant about the situation? Why the hell did he think it was a good idea to tease you in the break-room of all places.

"Hyukwoo!" you suddenly exclaimed - the heat dissipating from your body as you remembered how he had caught two of you. Everyone seemed oblivious so far, but surely he would say something eventually. When he did the entire world would be set on it’s head.

"Ah I took care of him," Jay waved it off. He picked a granola bar from the basket on the counter and began munching away - his usual carefree self.

"Um? Did you put a hit out on him or...?" you questioned absently.

"I bribed him," Jay stated simply. "I deleted  all the videos I have of him being a drunken idiot."

You couldnt help but to crack a smile at that. Loco tended to live up to his name when he had one to many to drink. Everyone in AOMG - especially Jay - teased him relentlessly about it. Having some of the evidence erased was most likely more than enough of a bribe for Hyukwoo.

"You know YN," Jay started. He suddenly seemed more serious than you had ever seen him. It had you turning your full body toward him as you studied the sincerity in his eyes curiously. "I don't want things to be weird between us."

There was that word again. It had your stomach churning in nervousness and your head spinning. How could things not be weird? You were two polar opposites with an antagonistic relationship that slept together. That was nothing but complicated and weird.

"But I don’t want last night to be a one time thing." His bottom lip was briefly held hostage by his teeth as he contemplated his next words carefully. "So... Coworkers... With benefits?"

It was a question. He was giving you a way out if it made you uncomfortable, and it did. You had never been in a purely physical relationship - that just wasn’t you. With your brand of awkward the idea alone had always seemed impossible, but as you looked into his persuading brown eyes you knew you wouldn't refuse. How could you?

"Okay", you muttered. You voice was barely audible and it cracked with nerves, but his face lit up instantly. He smiled - the one that made your heart race and his eyes crinkle - before leaving you standing in the break-room by yourself with a tension headache forming and so many unsaid words on the tip of your tongue.

Jay Park had opened you up to the world of intimacy more within in the past few days than you had ever experienced in your life. It was awkward and scary for you, of course, but it was also exciting. Never did you think that it would come so natural for someone like you - someone who avoided simple skinship at all cost - but it did and for once in your life you felt a bubbling confidence welling up in your psyche. You felt strong in something other than your profession. It was overwhelming to say the least.

You grabbed the coffee he had made from the counter in autopilot. The coffee was lightly sweetened with no creamer, exactly how you liked it. You didn't even question how Jay Park had known how you took your coffee - you just accepted it.

The rest of the day followed in smooth fashion. Jay had been oddly well behaved as the two of you finished up recording for the last single. He didn't utter a single appropriate word. You wondered if you had simply imagined the whole thing until he found his way into your text messages as you packed up in your studio for the day.

Come over tonight. I dont think I ever showed you the bedroom.

You scoffed at his cheesiness. This was supposed to be the man who could make women swoon with his mere words. Despite yourself, you found it cute. You would never admit it to him though.

The hallways were deserted as they usually were when you finished packing. You had spent the last few hours in your studio going over the raw recordings you had gotten with Jay earlier. You had the rest of the week to put everything together, which was comparatively better than the last time you had worked with him. Everything that had happened with Jay had ironically seemed to make him more productive.

You found yourself staring at the message as you walked. Of course you were over thinking it. You weren’t used to the flirting in general so suggestive texting was way out of your limits.  You were so lost in thought that you didn’t noticed your pace had picked up with your nerves, nor did you notice Kiseok until you ran right into in. Strong arms wrapped around you to steady you before leaving you just as quickly. You glanced up to find him staring at you with humor in his eyes and that deep rumble of a laugh that you loved so much tumbling from his lips. "In a hurry?" he questioned lightly as he bent down to pick something up off the floor.

My phone! Immediately you grabbed for it snatching it out of his hands quickly and adverting your gaze from his guiltily. No one needed to know what you did with Jay in your spare time, but especially not Kiseok.

"Sorry," he mumbled out with uncertainty. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and you hated it. Things with Kiseok had never been awkward, and you sure as hell didn’t want them to be. "You dropped it and-"

"It’s okay!" you interjected quickly. It came off rather abrupt and rude without you meaning for it to. Things couldn't be like this. It was weird, and dammit you sure were beginning to hate that word. The following silence could be described as nothing but though.

"Um, Jay behaving himself now?" You tensed at his name before forcing yourself to relax. Kiseok knew nothing: he was simply talking about the two tracks that were still in progress. You had to stop being so on edge about it, or people would start putting two and two together.  

"Yeah," you replied as casually as you could. You had to make things normal again, somehow.  

"Good", he replied. If you didn’t know better you would think his own demeanor was the same forced casualness that you were doing your best to maintain. "Drinks tonight?"

The question had your hopes for normalcy soaring. A night in with drinks and a shitty drama had once been a tradition with you and Kiseok. Before Soori had come into the picture and shaken things up, it had been a regular occurence whenever the two of you just needed a break from reality.

"Yes! Absolutely yes!" you didn’t care how eager you sounded. The only thing you cared about was making sure things between you and Kiseok weren't the dreaded "w" word.  

It wasn't even thirty minutes later that you were huddled up under a throw blanket on your couch with a glass of wine in your hand and Kiseok at the other end. He sipped on his own drink and stared at the tv screen with halfhearted interest. You knew he had no interest in the drama, but he had let you choose in normal Kiseok fashion. It was a familiar evening, and long overdue.

"Characters in dramas are never honest with each other," Kiseok tsked as the drama played. The hero was obviously in denial of his feelings, and the heroine was stupidly oblivious  as well. Of course as per usual they were all keeping secrets from each other.

"If they all told the truth though an entire drama would be one episode", you reasoned. Your words came out slightly slurred. Apparently you had more wine than you thought. It was good though, some fancy ‘deep red’ that Kiseok had brought along. You usually stuck with soju, but the end result of both was the same.

"True", Kiseok conceded. Something about the tone of his voice had you glancing his way. His grip on his own wine glass was loose, but he traced the rim around it in thought with a long lithe finger.

"What's wrong, Kiseok?" The question had his shoulders slumping as if in relief you asked. Clearly he had something to get off chest, and you were always more than happy to listen to him even if it was for your own selfish reasons.

"Soori is..." he trailed off in thought and slumped further into the couch. "Do you ever just do things out of responsibility? Like not because you want to but because you feel like you have to?"

"Kiseok!?" you exclaimed sitting up straight as a board and suddenly very tense. He couldn't have, but what else could he be getting at? "Did you get her pregnant?!"

Your question was met with raucous laughter that had Kiseok doubling over at the waist. Your eyes narrowed as you watched him calm down; you didn't think it was funny at all. When his laughter died and his breathing settled, he finally returned your annoyed stare.

"No. It's just..." he trailed off yet again as his leftover humor faltered. His hair was a mess, tousled in every direction and hanging just above his eyes in messy strands. For a moment, Kiseok didn't looks his years. He looked young - boyish even - and uncertain. It was a side of him you didn't see often. It only lasted for a second before he shook his head to clear his thoughts and Kiseok the handsome CEO - tipsy and handsome as ever - was back. "Forget it."

"You know you can tell me anything," you informed gently. You didn’t want to push him, but you wanted him to know that you were there for him no matter what. After all before you loved him as a man, he had been your friend.

All you got in response was a nod as he turned his attention back to the tv. Half way through the second episode, the wine had somehow turned into soju. You didn't question it even as empty bottles began to collect on your coffee table. Kiseok was out to forget his problems, and so were you.

"Why didn't he just tell her!?" You yelled as the third episode of the night wrapped up. "How hard is it to say I love you?" In your alcohol fueled brain, the irony of your statement was lost. Kiseok tsked next to you. Somehow during the drinking and drama marathoning, the two of you had ended up side by side with your thighs touching. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was Kiseok himself, either way the close contact was comfortable for you.

"It's not nearly as easy as you think", he almost whispered next to you. Sober you would have dissected that comment to the bone, but drunk you simply brushed it off.

"Ah Kiseok," you giggled to yourself. "I think we drank too much."

"Yes we did", he concurred. Being drunk made the gravelly tone of his voice magnify. The effect it was having on you was enough to make anyone into an addict. You found yourself leaning into him with a satisfied smile playing on your lips.

"Kiseok", you sang sweetly. "Talk to me."

"About what?"

"Anything. Everything."

Your request was met with silence as he returned your gaze with his own. The fear of rejection - no matter how small on a grand scale - made itself ever present until he reached up to brush the loose hair hanging over your shoulder back. It was unlike Kiseok. He was always so careful and respectful of your boundaries with skinship. The brief contact had your heart doing somersaults and your stomach fluttering.

"Where did those come from?" As he mumbled the question, you noticed a dark flash in his eyes. His fingers trailed lightly against your neck.

Your face immediately heated. You had forgotten all about the trail of marks along your neck that Jay had so stubbornly left. You had done your best to cover them up with makeup, and when that had all but failed you had decided to hide them with your hair. You didn't want Kiseok to know. He couldn't know.

You raked your brain for some semblance of an excuse, but came up short. Instead you simply sat there, staring back into his dark gaze in embarrassed silence. You almost felt like his eyes alone were scolding you.

When Kiseok didn't get an answer, he fell back against the armrest of the couch reaching out to pull you with him. You went willingly and ended up laying face first on his chest with his arms wrapped securely around you.

"Let's talk, then." Apparently his usual reservations were out the window for the night, and so were yours. You snuggled your face into him, taking in his familiar scent and relishing in the vibrations of in his chest as he spoke. You stayed that way well on into the morning ; Kiseok talking, you listening, and both of you relishing in the close contact.

It was natural.

It was normal and not anywhere close to weird.

It was how things were supposed to be, right?