#i dont think any tw's are needed but let me know if theres anything that makes u uncomfortable and ill add it <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[phagodyke]

.

[talkorsomething]

Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

[luffyvace]

HIIII hru !!! may i please ask for some feitan fluffs hcs 😩 i love this tiny man with all my soul

IM DOING GOOD!! YES YOU MAY!!! I ACTUALLY HAVE SUCH A DEEP ROOTED LOVE FOR HIM I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM OFTEN ENOUGH💥💥

(omg this reminds me i’m supposed to be doing the whole troupe and chuuya x male reader- i’m so all over the place but the point is another dabble of feitan hcs will be here in the future! 😋)

also ooc/fanon him since this is fluff :)

tw: death…and torture (i use “unalive” instead of d!e/k!ll)

alrighty so you said fluff headcanons and it’s highly likely you’ll get fluffy feitan if you’ve known each other for a long time (since meteor)

i’m going to dabble in reader that is both in and outside of the troupe because i can :)

so for reader that’s in the troupe first of all no pda

hardly any weakness was displayed besides sadness/anger or mourning (and some funny moments)

theres no need for cuddles during business

unless your like uvo and simply don’t care

then it annoys the crap out of him <3

it’s not like he doesn’t want your affection—just not in public

will cuddle you in private tho

y’all usually sit there in silence or read together

he can be a little spoon or big spoon it doesn’t bother him

he tries his best but he’s never let anyone else so close to him before

if you introduce something to him and he likes it he’ll do it back

because why would you do it to him if you wouldn’t want it done to you right?

im gonna assume you have either a apartment which you unalived the owner of or y’all live in meteor still

he’ll let you choose really he doesn’t care where you stay

he’d even unalive a high status person to steal their mansion if that’s what you want

your obviously strong and have some sort of nen if your in the troupe so he doesn’t bother worrying

although if your like kortopi he’ll stay vigilant for you

even though you can use nen to defend yourself as well

btw if your not a pda person the troupe is grateful

aint no body wanna see allat-

he doesn’t know how to cook or clean and since your both from meteor so i hope you learn or already know how

otherwise y’all eat what y’all can when y’all can

whether you steal a five star gourmet meal or just wait for the next opportunity like a vending machine

i don’t advise you ask for a pet by the way

he’ll tortu£ it and i’m not talking about strapping it down or anything

just purely scarring them 😭

if you be firm about him stopping he will

unless it’s a big scary dog or smth

then he’s more likely to take em under his wing and train them to be vicious

will scare people with said animal

for stay at home reader…. (most of these also apply for troupe reader<3)

i say stay at home bc with his portion of money you could buy anything you want

if you tell him what you want u can get it for free cuz he steals it

but

if you want to take a bath together it would take more than a god to convince him

seriously he sees no reason in it

once you do tho

at first he is on one end of the tub and your on the other

as time goes on he’ll let you lean back into his chest as he scrubs your hair

he lets you play in his hair

don’t tell ANYONE

he don’t like vulnerability so if you tell someone he won’t do it for like 2 weeks

you think he’s never gonna do it again until you crawl into his lap while he’s reading on the bed and ask really sweetly

he’s all yours after that

HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY!!

and yes he lets you play with it :)

you get to put it into all types of styles!!

especially since it’s a decent length!

not really interested in playing in your hair

he tries but the rubber band always ends up tangled in your hair

if you kiss him goodnight he will start to initiate it as well

thats one thing he will forever reciprocate

loves your humor

no matter the type

but he especially loves when you laugh at his dark jokes

youve seen him smile before 💖

warms your heart knowing no one else gets this side of him

not judgmental of your looks for obvious reasons

yall got bigger problems

dismisses anytime you degrade yourself

he be speaking facts

”the way your hair looks gonna unalive you?”

”your pimples will st^b you while sleeping?”

no? you goofy goober so why does it matter

don’t argue him on this

genuinely doesn’t like the idea of you being hurt

by him or someone else

dont expect anyone who does harm to you to see the tomorrow sun

even if you plead for them don’t waste your breath pleading you need to be saying goodbye

real loyal partner

as loyal to you as he is the troupe

you and the troupe are his forever commitments

no matter what he could never stop loving you

you guys practically never argue

hes not necessarily hotheaded but will say what’s on his mind and if someone disagrees he does it anyway

thing is he compensates with you💗

if he knows your nitpicking he ignores it but if it’s genuinely something you don’t like he won’t fight it

also he cleans up well if you don’t like to see blood/gore in your place after he’s done t•rturing someone

he respects and listens to your opinions and feelings

would love if your a sadistic person as well but he understands if your not

also if your not in the troupe he teaches you nen

only the troupe knows your together and where you stay for your safety

your safety is definitely on his priority list

truly cares about and loves you

enjoy!!!! i’ll prob come back and read my own hcs bc I LOVE HIM

thank you for this request i loved writing every letter of it♡

[rentheknightgale]

Thoughts on an ana/mia discord server?

If one already exists hmu. But I am also willing to make my own.

heres what my main rules would look like:

If you don't already have an 3d then don't join looking to get one. This isnt a place to get/start an ed but a place for people who already have it to talk. No coaches. This is for safety. Its okay to motivate people but no ana coaches as they are always no good. No fatphobia. I understand that fatphobia is woven into the fabric of 3ds but its still very harmful to decide that other people should change because of your opinions. This also means no f4tsp0, as it is inherently fatphobic. Keep your 3d to yourself, dont force it on anyone else. (this rule will be STRICT) Body checks are okay as long as they are in the dedicated channel and tw are put for si/sh. Also very little clothing is okay but no s3xualizing clothes or things that are meant to make you look s3xy. Also no br3ast or groin. Obviously. No substance talk. No no, nope. Talking about what meds you take is fine or whatever, but no promotion of alcohol, illegal dr-gs, vaping, grass or tobacco. Also no other forms of substance abuse, no matter how obscure. I am well versed enough to know the slick things and I know just how dangerous and horrible these kinds of things can get and while I can't stop you from doing it, I refuse to allow its influence to be spread. No homophobia, transphobia, ableism, racism, ect. I am also VERY well versed in minorities of all kinds and for these kinds of things its a one strike and you're out. If you say something and it comes off wrong then it will be a warning, but ignorance or hate will be immediately deleted. This would be a 17+ server strictly. oh, you're 16 and your birthday is in two months, nope. Got to wait. I wont ask for any personal info to prove age or anything of the sort, but If in some way I find out you are underage then you will be banned. NO CREEPS!!! I know redflags for gr00mers, and creeps. I will be on the look out. I have had other discord servers in the past where I had to put close friends on blast for creepy shit. I do not care if someone in the server is my best friend, if they are being a creep to you, you can tell me and I will take care of it. I wont shame you, or tell anyone who said something. I have been a victim too and had to go to court. I didn't get justice, I will not cause that kind of pain on even the smallest level to go without justice.

The last one is not even just for my discord server, but in general. If you are going through something my dms are open. Idc what the situation is, if you think you deserved it, if you are a boy, if they were a girl, if they were younger to you, if it was your partner. It doesnt matter to me. I'm here to listen, or to back you up if you want.

There would be other smaller rules, but these are the main ones. If theres some sort of issue with discord and why theres a reason people dont do this then also let me know pls. Also, if there are any other rules I should add, or questions put it in the notes or in my ask box and I'll answer!

Also, this would have a pretty thick authentication system. I hope I can figure it out. But I'm thinking some sort of level system where the more you are active the more access to the server you get. This will help with any raids or creeps. You would need to have quite a few days of talking in the main chat to get access to more and more channels. And the more sensitive ones (like body checking and vent) would be the kinds where you need to be talking daily for a week to get type thing. It sucks but I really need to weed out the minors, creeps, people who dont have 3ds and the like.

[withonly-sweetheart]

The Sound of Us

You've always wondered about the peculiar sounds that come from your neighbor's apartment, right next to yours. One day, after a breakup, he shows you.

a/n: for the lovely anon who requested it! i hope you like it 🥰🥰🥰 also its not even proofread so if i need to come back to it bc ur not satisfied lmk 🥰

tw: i mean theres suggestive content but i dont really write nsfw... do with that what you will 🤨

wc: 3k

Sometimes you wonder just what goes on in your neighbor’s life. After yet another series of thumping, creaking and other assorted sounds, concern isn’t the only thing on your mind. When Leon first moved in and you knocked on his door to introduce yourself, he cocked his head to the side, a small smirk on his face, and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re straightforward, aren’t you?” he had mused. “Not many girls have the confidence to come up to me like this.”

“That- what?” Leon closed the door gently and left you there, flushed in the flurrying air. You think the only time you interacted with him after that was at the washroom down the street, collectively housing all the bathrooms and showers for the entire complex.

But these sounds have been a repeating occurrence. And you felt pity for him. He was rarely home, you knew that from the sounds. His car would pull up once every two weeks, you would hear the noises, but they eventually stopped. And the door opens and someone walks out, probably Leon leaving again.

Safe to say, you didn’t bother yourself with his personal business. You barely knew him, and what you did know you didn’t like. So you both resigned to your respective lives, shifting back to two separate corners of the world.

<><><>

Any ounce of sympathy you felt towards Leon immediately disappears once the noises shift to a later time, one night, long after the sun’s lost beneath the horizon. And they’re louder. You stuff your head under your pillow, pressing down on your head until you feel dizzy, but you can’t block the sound of his voice.

It’s muffled and you can’t hear what he’s saying, but someone’s responding. If he’s going to have a conversation when everyone’s sleeping, he could at least have the courtesy of being quiet.

Wanting to spare everyone’s comfort, you tug the blanket tight around you and waddle over to his room. The golden number glints mischievously at you, as if amused that you’re standing outside Leon’s door, knocking vigorously, wondering when the hell it’ll open-

A slow creak signals the room door opening, and you open your mouth, still half asleep and wanting to get back to the warmth of your bed.

“Man, if you’re going to yap this loud, take your conversation to a bar,” you grumble, dragging your eyes up from Leon’s bare feet. You expect him to be dressed in a loose t-shirt and baggy jeans, like always.

Not that you watch him. You just know this from the rare instances you see him.

But it’s different this time. And with rapid clarity, you realize that your concern was misguided. Leon stands in front of you, breath coming in soft pants, no shirt, no pants, and you suppose you should thank those above you for the fact he’s at least wearing boxers, but that doesn’t conceal anything.

Your hand flies to your eyes, automatically. You hear Leon let out a raspy chuckle before asking, “Need something, sweet pea?”

“Uh, well, keep it down!” you say exasperatedly, taking a step back and pressing your fingers harder against your face. “I can’t sleep!”

“Why’re you listening to us?” he replies calmly, a lazy smile audible in his voice. “You want in?”

“Ew!” You shake your head, turning away to face the railing, removing your hand and blinking rapidly. “All this time, I thought you were…”

“You were thinking about me?”

Does the air around you feel colder? September’s a mild month, isn’t it? You long for warmth, for the feeling of arms tangled around you, wet lips whispering sweet praise in your ears.

Right. Anyways. Is that what you heard? What you mistook for arguing?

“Yes,” you admit, hoping you don’t sound apologetic, because that’s the last thing he needs; something to fuel his ego. “I was worried.”

A dry chuckle. “Well, I’m flattered, but you don’t need to worry about me, honey. I’m just fine.”

“I can see that,” you say flatly. “I’ll get going now.”

“I think you should,” he says, voice strained as if he’s looking over his shoulder. You struggle to hear the background of his apartment, shadowed by the occasional car racing past, but you can hear the whines of another woman.

Without another word, you turn and march double time to your apartment. The door opens without protest. You wish it did, wish it willed you to turn around.

When you’re huddled in your bed, you catch the way everything seems a bit duller, a bit lonelier, as if you’re missing something you didn’t know you were missing.

<><><><>

The shower hums as you toss your head back, lathering shampoo in your hands. You know that it probably isn’t healthy to wash your hair three times in a single week, but this morning you woke up and ran a hand over your scalp and immediately recoiled.

You think someone on the internet said it best - “Enough grease on my hair to make french fries.” It’s not funny, but it made you giggle when it came up on your page.

Steaming water stings your eyes, so you can’t see who’s walking inside as the door clicks open. You pray it’s someone with conditioner, because you forgot yours back at the apartment.

Cheap rent comes with its drawbacks, you knew that. But you took the room anyway, desperate, and so far, after three months, the bathroom situation wasn’t too bad. Most of the guys respected the stalls, keeping their eyes down, only exchanging pleasantries.

Faintly, you register that this shouldn’t really be legal, but since you haven’t had any problems, you suppose that this would suffice for another few weeks, just until you moved back in with your old roommates.

You scrub your eyes, then blink hard, stepping out of the range of the water. The stalls only come up to your neck and reach down to your ankles, which you thought wasn’t too bad compared to other washrooms in the area.

“Hey, would you happen to have conditioner?” You ask your question while keeping your eyes ahead, wanting to be courteous of their privacy.

“Why?” The voice that responds isn’t one you want to hear. Immediately, involuntarily, you snap your head towards Leon, hair whipping to the other side, all thoughts of respect out of the window.

“Why do you think, genius?” you retort sarcastically. “I’m going to drink it, obviously.”

“Knock yourself out,” he replies with a soft chuckle, eyes cutting sideways to look at you. They dip down before he winks, handing you the bottle.

Despite the heat of the water, you flush, praying you can just play it off as the water being too hot. You rub some of the easily foaming conditioner into your roots, running your fingers through the slick strands, the sickly sweet floral scent overwhelming your senses.

You’re just finishing a prayer that he doesn’t start any small talk when he says, “You know, when you showed up yesterday, I didn’t expect it to be you.”

You don’t respond, hoping he takes it as a sign you don’t want to continue the conversation, but he assumes the exact opposite and continues.

“My girlfriend wouldn’t stop asking me questions about you. She thought I was cheating on her.” He lets out a sigh, one far too troubled for his character. “She broke up with me this morning. Hear any of that?”

“Nope,” you respond triumphantly, but quickly realize it’s the wrong tone for the subject at his dejected, frustrated expression.

“And you know what’s bothering me?” he asks quietly, voice hard to hear over the steady streams of water dripping from both your bodies to the slightly moldy tiles.

“Mhm?” You think, through the haze of steam slowly clouding your thoughts, that the least you can do for this poor, heartbroken boy, is to at least listen to him.

“What she said… she’s right,” he says, turning his head so your gazes lock. His eyes are cloudy, the most dreamy blue-gray you’ve ever seen, like the sky after a rainstorm. You wonder if you stare hard enough, you can see a rainbow reflected in them. “She wasn’t the right one.”

“And who is?” you say, slightly amused, because now his eyes have shifted to deep pools of regret and determination, and the slant of his hair across his forehead, strands blooming across his cheeks, rosy and full, gracing the corner of his too-quick mouth.

“You are.” His eyes don’t leave yours, rendering you breathless. “God, I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that. It took her to realize I want you.”

“That sounds extremely creepy,” is your first reaction. What else can you say? It’s not you don’t see what he’s saying, you understand fully, and it’s not like you didn’t think about him, especially when you saw him working out at the same gym you went too, and his shirt had ridden up, exposing smooth skin that kept your eyes on him, trailing down until you realized exactly where you were and what you were doing.

Safe to say, you haven’t been to the gym since that day.

“I know,” is all he says back, huffing a sigh. It doesn’t sound quite like relief, but it doesn’t sound like disappointment either. More like hope, hope that you might feel the same way.

“How do I know you’re not kidding?”

Leon arches an eyebrow. “You need… proof?”

You mirror his movement. “You’re confessing to me in the washroom?”

He scoffs. “Oh, is that your problem?”

“Expected a little more romance,” you reply.

“What, fuck you on a bed of rose petals?” he jests. “Your standards are crazy.”

“They sure are if my standards are you,” you seethe. “Honestly, you’re such a dick, I don’t know why I even bother.”

“I can be nice,” he insists. “If you deserve it.”

“What have I ever done not to deserve it?”

“Good question.” Leon goes quiet after that, and you finish rinsing out the conditioner, having let it lay on your back for a few minutes while you wash the rest of your body. Satisfied, you wrap yourself in a tower and gingerly tap the floor in front of you with your toe.

“What are you doing?” he queries, snickering as you yelp when your foot slides away from you. You regain your composure and cross your arms.

“I don’t want a concussion,” you explain, gesturing to the slippery floor. “The last thing I need is medical attention.”

Leon lets out a fragmented laugh. “Alright then, princess.” He holds out a hand, fingers curling around yours as you accept the help gratefully, stepping over to the bench.

You note his eyes don’t leave you as you unlock the small lockers that were offered to hold your belongings. He stands besides you, seemingly fumbling with the key to his own.

“Hello?” You wave a hand in front of his face and he startles, coming back to reality. You tug on a loose t-shirt, some underwear and a pair of snug shorts. You unravel the towel around you, feeling the loss of friction against your skin.

Do you miss it? Yes.

But it doesn’t feel quite as empty when you know that Leon’s eyes are drinking up every part of your exposed body. Every time you pack for a shower, you never bring a bra because what’s the point? You never wore one around the apartment anyways, and you never encountered anyone on the short walk across the road.

Even if you did, you could just slouch forward and blow out your shirt. Nonchalant was not a very good word to describe you, and you knew that. Maybe some part of you enjoyed slamming the locker door in his face, watching as his eyes trail downward.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips and you better believe you don’t miss that. The rush of power is intoxicating, the feeling of knowing that he wants you and he can’t have you unless you want him to.

And you do.

<><><>

“Should’ve come in that day,” Leon whispers, breath fanning across your cheek. “I would've kicked her out.”

Your response is delayed as Leon's mouth finds the pulse point on your neck, talented enough to grace only his teeth over it. “You didn't even know me.”

“We weren't strangers,” he murmurs.

“We’re not friends, either.”

“That’s right,” he replies, the broadest grin you've ever seen usurping his glorious, beaming face. “We’re boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“When did that happen?” You chuckle, voice hoarse as his fingers trail up, up, up to caress the side of your face.

Leon raises an eyebrow. “Right now.”

“When did I agree to that?”

Leon's hips stutter, as if moving in response to your words. You don't miss the tremor in his voice, the trembling in his hands, but his face is set in grim lines of determination as his hips snap forward, all thoughts of even doubting him gone at his touch.

“When you let me do this to you.”

<><><><>

Afterwards, Leon shifts away from you, and you lose the warmth you so desperately longed for.

You think he's going to kick you out, leave you back where you started, with soft, shy glances and flirty looks.

But looking past the golden blinds that frame his face, still wet, plastered to his full, rosy cheeks and into the open windows that are his eyes, you don't see a rainbow anymore.

You see guilt, deep and true and pooling in the center of his wide, inky eyes. He takes a deep breath, exhaling as if to steady his voice.

“Am I a bad person?” he whispers, half to himself. “For missing her?”

Missing her? “Did you just use me to get over your girlfriend?” You put it blankly, because the hurt hasn't set in yet, so you tilt your head to the side, knowing that if this is how it ends, you won't be the one begging.

“I didn't… no,” he mutters, shaking his head, sounding more confused than before. “I couldn't stop-”

“Thinking about her?” You scoff. “Seriously? You're seriously going to sit here and tell me that you were thinking about her this whole time?”

“Fuck, no!” His fingers twist in his hair, clamping the strands together tightly. “It was only you. I saw nothing but you, god, you're so pretty it hurts.”

“Hurts how, Leon?” you ask, hushed.

“Goddamn it! You know what I mean!”

You place a gentle, tentative hand on his, pressing as if you could absorb some of the tension displayed on his face. “Tell me.”

“What if I never get over her?” His eyes mingle with the pain and anxiety that's all too familiar to you.

You know that the pain of losing someone you love never leaves. And you know that Leon acted on impulse.

Hell, you did the same thing last time your boyfriend broke up with you. You assume it means two bad souls come together to do good, to repent for what they've done.

You know it takes time to weed them out of your heart. You also know something else.

“I can help. I know it's not easy, but if you're willing to let me be there for you,” you say, “I'll do my best to help you let someone new into your heart.”

Leon watches you. “Someone like you?”

You smile. “I hope so.”

His face mirrors yours. “Sounds like a plan.” His expression softens. “Thank you.”

You nudge his shoulder playfully. “Don't get too emotional on me, Kennedy.”

His grin is what convinces you. “Wouldn't dream of it.”

Just when you get him to move closer, getting comfortable, head resting in the crook of his neck as he murmurs sweet nothings to you, the redundant sound of knocking elicits a frustrated groan from Leon as he lazily pulls on a shirt and tugs his shorts on, leaving them hanging low around his hips.

You watch him walk to the door, admiring the man you can now call yours, realizing that the irritation you felt wasn’t really irritation, just jealousy.

When he walks back after a few minutes, he peers at a piece of paper, squinting his eyes as if he can’t believe what he’s reading. He lets out an exasperated sigh and throws the paper onto his desk, sliding back into bed with you.

“Who was it?” you ask, curious.

“The landlord,” he replies vaguely.

“You forget to pay rent or something?” You giggle.

He sighs again. “You won’t believe it.”

“What?”

“The neighbors filed a noise complaint.”

“For… today?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before bursting into laughter. Leon, on the other hand, is mostly unamused, but the sight of you lying bare in his bed, in his apartment, face alight with happiness, he can't smother a smile of his own.

“It wasn’t even music,’” you wheeze, nearly choking, calming down before snickering at you. “You good?”

So with that, he shrugs.

“Hm. I'd rather it be the sound of us anyways.”

[prestonmonterey]

intro

!! plz dont send me chain asks !!

(pronouns page is linked on there but also here if you dont wanna look for it:)

ok so uhh basically the gist of it

hi

im preston

uhh for names call me preston or pres or squid or orion or jaxon or actually just whatever you want i dont mind (more on my prounouns page) (if we're friends/moots feel free to gimme a nickname if ya want)

pronouns are it/he/they (the order of preference changes from time to time also neos are alright just anything other than she/her)

fandoms im most active in: varian and the seven kingdoms/tangled the series, camp here and there (will wood too!!), adamandi, the art of pleasing princes, starkid, spies are forever and percy jackson (mostly the musical bc im in a production of it :)

you can always interact with me! apparently im intimidating but i swear im really nice (i think) and id be really happy if you sent an ask at any time :3 i promise i wont get annoyed even if you think youre being annoying i just really like interacting with cool people :3

you can tag me in anything and everything! i promise ill look at it :3 and i try my best to do tag games and stuff (lmk if you dont want me to tag ya) but if i dont uhh, just assume i was like, really tired that day, or ive been tagged by another moot in that game before and im too lazy to dig it up :P sry

uhh im a minor too so like nsfw/18+ blogs dni

i try my best to use tone tags but if i forget and you need them please let me know!! (i also find tone tags helpful for myself) :3

theres more info on my card about like other stuff too

tag key:

#marble musings = original posts

#marble monologues = long posts/reblogs usually about chnt or just like existentialism idk

#marble draws = art/fanart/crafts/cosplay type thing

#marble games = i make games on google forms! hoping to learn to code or get an actual game engine to make full games past like choose your own adventures

#marble music = song covers :3 (yes i have all the filtered instrumentals i used for adamandi, lmk if you want them i can send em over discord or something)

#marble asks = answering stuff in my ask box

i think thats all of them :3 might add more eventually, and sometimes i forget to tag properly so sorry about that :(

i have some sideblogs if you wanna check em out (not super active on them but ill still try to respond if you shoot me an ask)

hatchetfield rp sideblogs: @thelilcloverpatch @fading-angelic-starlight @marble-man @honey-sparrow @ivy-wreathed-arches

and @hatchetfield-bone-thief

theyre all dead and uhh tw for spookies and violence and blood and sh and ritualistic sacrifice

i have a couple other blogs but those are secret :D

[d10nsaint]

“I WAS FEELING INSECURE—SO INSECURE THAT YOU MIGHT NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE.”

ft. Aki Hayakawa

tw: insecurities, personal comfort, slight self insert , h!m€n0

On some days— your worst, your insecurities skyrocketed. You’d stand before the mirror, wishing for everything to go away.Your insecurities had such a far range, from yourself and your body and habits, to your boyfriend and those who surrounded him.

To you, it just was that everyone around Aki was perfect—beautiful, strong, assertive—and you were, well, you. You weren’t a beautiful boss, or a strong devil hunter with a team to lead. You were a normal person with a normal job.

Aki never understood your insecurities. You were his world, his safe space, where he went for advice. He knew about your ‘days’, and just couldn’t understand. You’re so perfect— whats there to be sad about?

He knows to—sometimes—leave you alone during times like this. Things like these are personal battles and you cant overcome them with help—its a battle of your own mind and how you see yourself. He can only help you in the aftermath.

Sometimes, during these ‘episodes, you’d just listen to music on an outdated music player, with an old play going on in the background.

He knocked on the bedroom door, just coming back from work.

“..[name]? are you in there?” He noticed that Denji and Power weren’t home yet—it was so quiet. ‘I wonder what they’re fucking up now,’ he thought as he twisted the door handle open.

He slowly opened the door to find you sitting on the bed, head on a pillow, with your eyes at the cealing.

“..[name]?” He looked at you oddly. “Are you awake?”

Your gaze slowly shifted from the ceiling to his tall frame, peeking through the door. He looked so handsome, so effortlessly. He was also just so caring, so sweet. An amazing boyfriend. Multiple times, you’d ‘joke’ and say that he was too good for you.

“Aki,” you sighed, happy that it was him and not Power or Denji—you loved them, sure, but they were both insanely loud and ignorant, and at the moment, you couldn’t take the noise. You covered up the sigh with a light laugh, “Im sorry, I didnt hear you come through the door- come, sit.” You patted the sheets near you so he could sit next to you, exactly where he liked to be. But something was off.

He slowly shuffled over to sit next to you, as you propped yourself up again to lie down. He bent over to give you a quick kiss that seemed to put you deep in thought.

“ [Name], what’re you thinking about?” He seemed so confused and concerned—He was so genuine.

“I was just feeling so insecure,” you started, taking a deep breath before finishing, “so insecure that you might not love me anymore.”

A moment of silence filled the room before he let out a fake cough. “..why is that?” He was perplexed. Hasn’t he been taking care of you? Showing you affection?

You took a deep breath—what you were about to say was going to take a whole lot of guts, but it’ll also get so much off of your chest. You knew it was better to talk about your problems and come to a helpful agreement.

“Himeno.” Her name came out like a cracked whisper, maybe even a sob. “Himeno,..shes a reason that I feel like that.Shes always so close to you, so touchy. To any outsider, it looks like you both are dating.”

You turned over to the wall so you wouldn’t face him. You sounded so stupid. But you tried so hard for him, and he knew. At this point, you didn’t even know if he was being oblivious on purpose. How could a man not notice how close she was?

“ [Name], you know I dont like Himeno, we’re just co-workers. Sometimes, I even find her antics annoying.” He rubbed your back as he spoke, then leaned down to plant a kiss to the side of your neck.

“I dont know what i have to do to prove it to you, but I really dont like Himeno like how I like you.” He moved his body so he’d be getting off the bed.

“I’ll leave you in here. Tell me if theres anything you need,alright?” He walked to the door and almost finished closing it when you turned over a bit.

“Hey Aki?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

[toadboatt]

Okay okay okay, i know ive been posting a lot today, but bare with me. I need to let the demons out.... again.

[Tw for mental health, self harm mentions and suicidal talk]

But how do you know when you need help? Like genuinely? Im good right now and whenever im good i feel like there was never anything to worry about. But when im bad?? I feel like my entire world is crashing down and nothing can be fixed or made better and i feel like my life has always been that way.. i know thats probably a symptom of one of my mental illnesses, but how do i live like this without being afraid of myself?

I dont have the resources for the help i need either, so maybe me asking this question is kinda pointless.. but when is the line crossed? When am i a danger to myself? When do i need to start taking this seriously? When my off days are spent crying and having a meltdown? When i start cutting myself again? When i cant even work 5 days in a row without becoming very suicidal??? When do i take the time i need to get help? Fuck, can i even afford to take it seriously?

Im missing work for the nth time this YEAR, especially this month, and my boss is getting fed up with it because technically im not officially diagnosed with anything so he doesnt have "proof" that i need time off.. what if he thinks im a slacker? What if i am? I dont know..

My job isnt even hard?!?! Im doing what i love! Im an artist!! Why am i so upset with my life?? Why does my brain fight me to be so fucking sad all the time?? And why was i born in a country and state that doesnt give a shit about me or my problems?? Fucking christ.

Im not even mad or upset or anything right now. Im just.... numbly curious. Im laying in bed because i called out of work to get some break time in between my meltdown and working.. but this happens every week. Every week. Every. Single. Week. For the past year. And its like my fuse only gets shorter... i dont even know what this post is for. I just feel weirdly lost.

Theres just so much.. im standing in a room while everything is breaking and crashing around me and i cant do anything but go numb and stare into the abyss so i dont have to pay attention to any of it... but then i wake up for a second and my skin is on fire and my head is pounding, my neck feels like its going to give up and snap and i can't. stop. crying. and it all keeps going. Forever.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw for suicide

im unsure about a lot of my life and myself. it feels like my identity keeps changing, or aspects of it. i dont know what makes me me. i crave things but once i have them it makes me doubt myself. i doubt that im really me. i dont feel like theres a me. i know at one point there was, but its hard to remember. i know the facts but i cant recall my thoughts or feelings. i look at myself and its like im looking at someone else. i imagine its what looking at an imaginary friend you've grown up with feels like. familiar and constant but ultimately fiction. i feel as though ive made myself up. everytime i think ive finally found myself, the real one thats been buried inside me all along, the doubt and confusion and falseness starts to creep in again. i dont know what to do.

my outside life has been dull and stagnant. i wake up everyday fated to the same mindless motions that come with being out of school and out of work. i do nothing. i have two friends, but one mightve moved along already. i briefly entertained the possibility of a relationship with my remaining friend. i dont think it would go over very well since i tend to destroy all my relationships in one way or another. i dont know how i would handle my identity crises with a partner, anyway.

i dont know if i want to be here for much longer. im curious about death, and afraid. what keeps me here most days is the deluded hope that someone will save me. i know that no one can save me. im my own responsibility. i dont take well to large responsibilities.

if you have any advice its very much welcome. i just needed a place to get this out.

Hi anon,

I am not a professional and my purpose in this explanation is not to armchair diagnose. Based on my extensive knowledge of dissociative disorders, several things you've described here are experiences that many people with dissociative disorders share, and I strongly encourage you to speak to a professional (ideally one who is specialized in dissociative disorders) if possible so they can give you a much more accurate opinion. If anyone has any additional comments or suggestions feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[karoochui]

Hello there Mika!! Your art is huge inspiration to me and I love it so much words can't explain it, I absolutely love your sketches, doodles, full art pieces, whatever you make I absolutely adore. Sorry for blabbing but just wanted to ask about things you really hate about sskk, like what the fandom does with the ship that you dislike?😭 Take care of yourself drink some water!💜💫

TW for sa mention!! Sorry but i ramble a bit here so im gonna add a cut!! (Plus the tw) Take care of yourself too and ill get some water right now actually😋

Okay firstly!! Hello!! Thank you so much!! And no worries no need to apologize its very sweet of you im so glad you like my art i really do appreciate it!! Thank you!

And its hard for me to say exactly? Im still very much into bsd but ive been distant with the fandom for a little while now BUT!! From what i remember what i usually didnt like was when people would make them so..two dimensional kinda?? BSD has pretty morally complicated characters and it was really weird when people would flatten sskk's personalities down to just some ship dynamic bc they are SOOO much more complicated than that. And thats just as INDIVIDUALS!! Even when considering them together theres a lot to think about when it comes down to their functionality, whether or not its viewed as romantic or platonic. And of course youre always gonna have those people who just water down any mlm ship into some weird dynamic that doesn't even fit the character's relationship which is just obviously Not Great.

And then as far as the characters individually i feel like a lot of people baby atsushi its really odd. Like that man has gone through some shit he is GROWNNN. I think its because hes the "softer" one out if the two or whatever. Which yeah he's nicer, its made clear akutagawa isn't a great person but atsushi isnt the exact opposite of akutagawa or the "softer" one. They're narrative foils of eachother, they mirror many of the other's character traits and atsushi has also done some Not Super Stellar shit. Do i think most of it was within reason? A little, considering what hes been through and exactly what he did. I do think he is the better person between the both of them - and i feel like thats also proven - but he is by NO means "innocent" or anything weird like that.

Then for akutagawa its really only that weird sa headcannon that originated from something he said in Beast (i can't remember exactly what, but i remember thinking it was NOT enough to warrant a hc like that. I remember that much). And as someone who's been through that a couple times i think its one thing if its some way to help someone cope or feel more seen (more specifically it isnt my business to cast judgement -unless it hurts them or someone else- and im no therapist), but i have seen people apply the headcannon simply because they say its "implied" or it "makes sense". Which, once again, as someone who's gone through that i think thats just. Weird. I dont like it. I personally try to stay away from any talk about it at all from anyone.

I also don't like when people make it seems like Atsushi has to save Akutagawa or something like hes some knight in shining moral armor. Its much more complicated than that and I could go further into this but it would be a whole rant about their characters and dynamic and itd go on FOREVER. So im just gonna say that akutagawa is also a grown man and knows well enough what hes doing with himself, even if its unhealthy (not that Atsushi is any better but lets be real no one is this show really is) and he wouldn't listen to atsushi if he didnt want to anyway. This part is really just personal opinion though, and i don't cast hard judgement on people who see them that way. Im not the type to care enough.

So yeah i guess it wasn't really hard to say at all LMFAO but otherwise i dont think ive had any other issues abt it?? I dont pay much attention to things i don't like anyway so im not easily bothered lol

But i hope this answered your question!! Plz lmk if i missed or misinterpreted something!! It was nice to talk about BSD again anyway though, ive missed it.

[i-eatdirt]

vent time!

(TW for s/h, transphobia, biphobia, panic attacks)

So I have this friend, lets call her A. I met A in September 2021,and at the time I was a bit tentative to be friends with her because she was saying some things that were kinda red flags, but I didnt have any friends at that time so i was a bit desperate.

Fast foreward to October 2022, We're friends now. There's also 2 more friends, C and E. At this point A has said a few more things and im getting a bit worried. We have a project to do, and i had an amazing idea. we had to make a camping menu for 3 days and make it fancy (it was nutrition/health class). I make my menu and A tells me she hasnt started it yet and it was due the next day. She then asks if she can copy some of my ideas, and okay. I'm kinda famous in my friend group for letting people copy off me. So yeah, i told her she can copy as long as its only a few things , cause im really proud of this project. She then takes it from me and goes to do her work, but when i ask for it back she refuses to give my work back to me. Now im upset so I ask again, but then i see her work and she copied LITERALLY EVERYTHING, right down to the drawings.

Then I get really mad, so i start yelling at her. Then A gets mad and we start arguing. E finds out and starts getting upset at A, and I can feel a panic attack coming on, so i leave and go for a bit of a walk. When i get back, C has found out, and i can hear them talking about me. I use varying pronouns woth my friends, and i think i was they/them at that time. (Im afab)

Anyways, A goes "I dont know why she's so upset! She let me copy her work!" And E corrects her on my pronouns (like the amazing friend he is), then A says "so what if I get her pronouns wrong? Its not the end of the world!"

that really triggers me, so i leave again. This goes on for a few days, and ive calmed down, so E, C, and I decide to confront A. C takes the lead, since they're our resident therapist friend. We ask her why shes such a crappy friend this year, and turns out theres some stuff going on with her family, her parents are probabaly getting a divorce, her moms boyfriend is abusive. I mean, okay, most bullies do what they do because they're being bullies, but she still has no right being so mean.

We had a LONG discussion and decide were not gonna assosciate with her anymore. So we havent really talked in a while.

But about a week ago, she comes up to us and comes out as bi. Then she explains that her friend is being rude to her because of it, and wants to talk about it because all of us are queer. So we talk a bit and then she asked if there was any chance we could be friends again. We talk about it and decide that yeah, okay, we'll give it a try. There was also a part in November where we all thought she was gonna die because she had some lung problem and she needed to be 'put down' (I don't know what its called for people), but thats not really important.

It was okay for a week, until today. Everything was fine, her friend Z (the biphobic one) had made up with her, our friend groups decide to merge a bit.

For a bit of context, while we were taking a bit of a break from A, E came out to C and i as trans. He uses he/they pronouns.

So anyways, E decides to tell A, which goes about as well as you'd expect. (This is all by notes btw). basically, E tells A, A writes 'youve got to be kidding me' but scratches it out, E shows me, E says somthing, A says he's been influenced because me and C are both trans and that trying things isn't always good, E shows me again, I immediately validate him and tell him she can go fuck herself, E and A pass some more notes I don't read.

Then A says something like 'i dont see how thats rude, i didnt say anything bad' and I make the mistake of saying 'no, literally everything you said is extrememly rude'. Then A gets mad at E for showing me, and everyone starts shouting at eachother.

After, C and A talk for a long time (again, therapist friend), then C comes to me and E to ask what happened, but they don't know anything we havent already told them.

A also made me self-harm back in november, and was being really rude about religions, gay men, and black people/POC.

Anyways um thanks for reading if you got all the way down here.

[sickiebabytae]

hi!! if ur still talking drabbles and things could u so something with jimin and migraines 🥺🥺 maybe from overworking himself, and tae helps :(( or jungkook (or both hehe)

thank you sm for the request, anon! here you go :) enjoy it!

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jimin isn't unused to pain. he's experienced it many times, in many ways. though it doesn't make it any easier when said pain catches up to him.

the members had warned him to take it easy, his muscles already having been crying out for a break since a few days ago. jimin had done his best to abide by their requests, but it hadn't been easy. he's never been one to sit back a lot. he always wants to push himself further and harder and improve to the best of his abilities like he knows he can do. it's a much more positive mindset than the one before, though the general premise still stands: keep going. it frustrates jimin to no end having to take breaks when all the others are working hard, so he rarely does. it always bites him in the back.

like how its biting him in the back now. he wakes up to his head stabbing with a sharp pain in the side of his head as he sits up. it ebbs away before he can fully register it, though it still makes the dancer groan and put his face in his hands, exhaustion clinging to his limbs as he moves. he really hopes he can make it through the day. it's a busy one, and he'd just promised Namjoon the night before he'd be able to handle it.

he trudges out of bed, face pinched and arms loosely around himself. he isn't paying attention, so its inevitable when he bumps into one of the others as he makes his way to the living room. he grunts, "sorry."

"jiminie-hyung?" jungkook's quiet voice still feels like pin pricks in his brain. "woah- you look pale, what's wrong?" 

jimin suppresses a sigh. "nothing, jungkook-ah, I'm okay. hyung woke up with a headache, is all."

jungkook doesn't look convinced, though he knows better than to press. "okay… well, go get a drink of water." 

jimin smiles and nods. "I will, thank you koo." the maknae gives him a smile in return before heading off to the bathroom.

jimin continues to the kitchen to follow jungkook's advice and sees taehyung sat at the kitchen island with his tablet open in front of him and scrolling through a webtoon as he holds a toast spread with jam. the younger looks up and nods at jimin in greeting, though does a double take upon noticing jimin's unhealthy complexion and instantly registers that something is wrong. "what hurts?"

jimin startles. "what?"

"what hurts," taehyung asked again. "you're doing that brow-crease thing whenever you're in pain."

jimin smiles, unable to help the amusement that lightens his chest. "aish, taehyungie, it's just a headache. you can calm down."

"it's never 'just anything' with you, jimin, come on." taehyung stands, making his way around the kitchen island to feel jimin's forehead. the action elicits a laugh from the dancer as he swats taehyung's hand away. "I know you're worried, tete, but I'm fine. we've got a long day today anyways and then our schedule clears up a bit. I'll rest when we get home." he promises.

taehyung doesn't hide how unsatisfied he is. he even scoffs. "if you're lying to me…"

"I'm not." jimin pats taehyung's chest. "now come on, finish your breakfast so we can leave."

-------------------------------------------------------

jimin does end up lying. though, in his defense, it's not because he wanted to. he really had thought his headache would stay that way - just a headache. but as the hours of the day trickle by at a snail's pace, jimin wishes he had stayed home and saved himself the misery of the blinding migraine he has now. 

they're still in the throws of a grueling dance practice, but the motions dont come as easily for jimin as they normally do, the song blasting in his ears and making his vision dot with black and his stomach churn. the members usually tease him for always being a beat behind, though no one can find it in themselves today watching the dancer strain to get the moves right. he's panting and sweating the tremble that had started with just his hands has travelled all along his tense muscles. though they don't say anything, or pressure jimin into saying anything either, knowing how he can get. 

they regret their decision, though, when jimin stops in the middle of the song to cradle his head with a whimper. 

taehyung is the first to snap his head over, pausing as well. he makes a signal for one of the others to turn the music off. "jiminie..?"

jimin doesn't reply, just swaying and swaying until his knees buckle.

"shit-" jungkook hisses as he rushes forward and pulls jimin into his chest, picking him up in a bridal carry. "hyung??"

jimin says nothing, burying his face into jungkook's shoulder. the maknae looks up at the others in panic.

seokjin is the first to speak up and break the silence. "jungkook, tae, you two take jimin home. us four will deal with the rest here."

the two youngest don't need to be told twice. they rush jimin out to the front after calling for a van and drive him home.

-------------------------------------------------------

"that was hands down one of the stupidest things you've ever done." taehyung tells jimin, standing above the bed with his arms crossed and a worried pout on his face.

jungkook snorts from where he lays next to jimin, hand gently petting his hair back off his forehead where they've placed a cool compress. "I wouldn't say the stupidest." he glances at jimin. "it was pretty stupid though."

jimin sighs tiredly, eyes drooping shut. after getting a painkiller into him and forcing him to lay down, he does admittedly feel a little better. though the exhaustion from before has multiplied tenfold, and there's still a dull throbbing behind his eyes, ears ringing quietly. "I know, I'm sorry… I thought I could just push through it.."

"clearly not." taehyung grumbles bitterly, biting his lip.

jimin opens his eyes to smile at Taehyung softly. "tete, I'm fine-"

"you said that this morning!"

"I know, but I'm in bed now. and you and jungkookie are here, yeah?" jimin gently takes taehyung's hand into his own and tugs him to lay down in the empty space on his other side. "I'll be okay after some sleep."

"a lot of sleep." jungkook corrects with a pout. "you almost passed out on us."

"okay okay, a lot of sleep." jimin pokes jungkook's cheek. "but I will be okay."

taehyung gives such a long sigh, jimin worries he's going to run out of breath. but then he nods and smiles at his best friend. "okay. on one condition."

"yeah?"

"you don't let yourself out of our sight." taehyung points between him and jungkook, the maknae nodding instantly.

jimin laughs. "fine by me."

he falls asleep not long after, and even though jungkook and taehyung are sweaty and cling to him tightly, jimin wouldn't have it any other way.

-------------------------------------------------------

a/n: aaa I'm back- I know it's been a crazy long time but hiii

I decided the best way to return was just with a quick drabble just to get myself back in the swing of things, but hopefully I'll put out something longer that I'm working on soon :))

and again, thank u to the anon that requested this! I had a lot of fun writing this <3

[politely-haunting]

What haunts you?

"And just where do you think you're going?" The indignant, low voice of the false Grandracmon above her would ask, as his huge paw sat atop Goldies back. His cutlass sharp claws flexed out, threatening to slice whatever lay underneath them with a single, slow squeeze.

The Blairmon lay on her belly, completely winded as her assailant had slammed down in one fell, fast motion, like a cat playing with its mouse.

"I kill the snake of a harlot that stole your rightful place, and I'm left with a flighty little doe that wont even utter a thank you?" The black bodied centaur would scowl, slowly dragging his quarry on the floor towards him. The slobbering, hungry looking heads on either side of his hips would let a low, impatient growl at the Blairmon as they came within reach, only to be scooped tightly between his leg and body.

The Grandracmons upper half would lean down to take a very intense look at the other Digimon struck frozen in his grip before grabbing Goldie by the collar then dangling her above one of the now wide open maws, the other snapping and barking jealously.

"Here's how things are going to work. You behave and stay, and I won't make you the dogs chew toy the next time you try to scurry away. Acceptable?"

The false Grandrac would lick his own lips as his grip tightened to force any kind of response from the ultimate. Nothing about his demeanour kind or relenting to coax the answer he wanted.

Eventually, Goldie would muster up two quick, desperate nods of her head as she'd stare down horrified at the mess of teeth threatening to tear her to pieces the moment they were given the yes.

But... her nod seemed adequate as she was pulled back and slowly lowered in to the crook of the canine like centaurs forelegs, and the shadow of the humanoid torso would lean forward and loom over her with a no less predatory smile seen on the visible half of his face. Masses of rich, thick black hair spilled over his shoulders as he reached and placed another hand on her shoulder, gripping the fabric of her cloak and tearing it away as if it were paper, then homing in to nestle his face in the divet of the Blairmons exposed shoulders.

Goldie could only wince in pure disgust as she felt the tyrant smell at her skin... then her hair as he pulled her closer.

"It is you... the feel of your core... yes...." He'd hiss in her ear with an ever wider growing, twisted smile. His search was finally over, and he could only quake in a delighted laugh as he eyed over his promised prize.

"Ah... my sweet Aye. It's been too long." He'd purr, lolloping his forked tongue over the skin of the Blairmons neck with contrastingly soft, clumsy affection.

Through the entire tyrade, Goldie had been more or less doing her best to mentally disassociate out of the reality of what was happening, but nothing could block the primal terror of being in this beasts hands. The black hearted tyrant that had killed her own brethren acting so overfamilliar and intimate with her was something she wasnt expecting nor escaping, and the horror of the reality had sunk in as she choked out a whimper.

But nothing compared to the sound she made, when she felt those two huge, sharp fangs plunge themselves in to her skin without warning. Mercifully, the world faded very quickly into darkness shortly after the pain took hold.

The first part of her coerced 'thanks' would be paid with a portion of her blood... from there, if help didnt arrive, it would only get worse.

For the first time in this lifetime, she felt completely helpless.

[thithesandofferings]

Yandere FFXV Crew

FFXV being Yandere- Gladiolus/Noctis/Prompto/Ignis/Ardyn/Regis

*Covers eyes* I am not here. But you are. You might as well read. 

:readmore:

TW:  MINORS DNI  Dark Content. Yandere themes. Stalking. Dubious Dubious Consent. Slight Daddy kink. Masochism. Sadism. Slight exhibitionism. Fear play. 

Gladiolus - Geeezzz he's so in love with you. Has been for so long. Just watching you through the castle. He just knows you'd look good in his bed. With a ring on your finger (and neck) crying out his name. He sees the other knights in the castle chatting you up, but he may or may not be standing behind you giving them the death glare. Its only accidental that a couple of knights disappear. Only happenstance that these were the same men that gave you a hard time. When you look at him with needy eyes asking him for help, he has to have you. Wont let you out of his room. Look hes trying to make you feel safe and secure. You may think he's not the kindest when he buckles you in your collar connected to a brick wall and gives you the deepest of kisses. Grips your chin to open your mouth so he has more access- every day before he goes to work. He knows you hate when he leaves and hes gonna make it up to you. He even promised you a baby if youre good. Your eyes are misting, but theres no reason for it. you know he's gonna fuck you into that very same wall when he gets home. Give you all the attention that you've been whining for. "Awww sorry princess, Daddy didnt mean it. Im not letting you go unitl you forgive me".

Noctis- Two words. Cage Beds. Always. He loves you, but he cant trust you as far as he can throw. He was even nice enough to pick the bed with you in the room.  Keeps one leg shackeled at all times when he doesnt have sights on you. Why would you want to get out anyways? Your sole purpose is to serve him. He would never feel bad for taking your life. Its his anyways. He might use the guards to spy on you, and so what? You like to run. And not that he doesnt like to chase you, no, it becomes a hassle when he has duties to fulfill for the kingdom. Playtime is not 24/7 pet and you know this. He has to roll his eyes because it seems that no one understands that not a single soul is allowed to talk to you in any capacity. At this point he's going to have to pay his public executioner more, he's been working overtime. Probably gonna have to fuck your little mouth shut again just to give everyone a break.  He would hope you'll get used to being his possession. Its hardly sexual at this point, especially when he can use you like a malleable toy. You're cute,  but he's really been thinking about...experimentation during his down time. Wonders what you'd do if he held a syringe of anything next to that cute face.  

Prompto - He doesnt mean to be angry. He doesnt. But you just make him so hot, its hard to cipher his feelings out of something so strong. You were so nice and thats why he took you in the first place; but now youre so hurtful. How is he supposed to deal with that- especially when youre saying mean things to him. How could you say something about his humanity! He has it! He definitely doesnt mean to bruise you, gripping your waist so tight that bruises form, its an honest mistake. But he has to prove it to you somehow that he is deserving of you. He adores it when he fucks you so good that you pass out. Pleas and gasp making an abrupt choked noise when your head hits the pillow. Doesnt mean he's gonna stop his hips from moving. He needs to prove to you that you are it. So he'll fuck you awake so he can remind you. No matter how much it takes.

Ignis- Wants to get inside your head first. To be the only thing you think about. Walks by you and sometimes bumps into you. Says he's sorry and touches you. makes sure that your mind drifts to him. He knows exactly where you're going to be at the exact time. Of course he's input cameras into every point in your house and office. He cant keep an eye off you for a second. What if that "partner" from the other cubicle comes by and hassles you again? He sees the way that man looks at you. Distractingly similar to how Ignis himself looks at you. But that guy doesnt care about you. Doesnt know what you like to eat or what flowers you like first thing in the morning. Or that you even prefer to be bent over the desk rather than pressed against the window. Probably doesnt know that your hole squeezes just a little tighter when someone walks pass. Has to press his hand against your mouth when you get a little too loud. Frown deepens when he thrust into you as hard as he can when your "partner" knocks on the door.

Ardyn- He's so giddy when you wake up and his lips are already on yours before your eyes open. He picked up the change of breathing and wanted to be ready for you. He can mark what belongs to him right? Gods he cant wait until he puts bruises on that pretty skin. He wants to hear you whine for him. You may be a resistant now, but you'll come around. They always do. He's seen the way your eyes flutter just slightly when he grasps your throat when youre being just a little too bratty. The way you beg gets him so hard- he wants to fuck you where you stand, but he's trying to be patient. Knows that one day you'll come to him crawling on your hands and knees with that cute little collar, leash in mouth, begging for him to fuck you. He can wait. He's waited this long hasnt he?

Regis- In the name of the throne, it has to be done. You have to be his. Does not matter your standing whether high status or low born. You were supposed to be his. The Gods told him so. Its a shame you were taken from your home by his very guards, but he knew you would have a better life with him. He would treat you right. Give you all the little toys your heart desired. He's wanted you for so long. How dare you ignore him? A king? He'd make sure you never step foot out of the castle again. For your own good. You deserved the best. And you would get the best too wouldnt you? His fingers, his mouth, even his time. He wants those beautiful face writhing in pleasure not pain, but if you dont behave, he'll take either.

[fwkei]

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy 

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

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You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?  

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing 

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own. 

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more. 

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes 

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head 

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up 

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down 

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.  

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat. 

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid. 

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything. 

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face. 

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you 

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails 

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head 

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair 

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness 

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously 

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling 

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema 

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked 

“Oh good!” they both said 

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi 

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited 

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema 

“A brothel..” you said under your breath 

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration. 

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor. 

You thought to yourself 

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement. 

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands 

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk 

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name 

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin 

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand 

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly 

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head 

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel 

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being. 

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.   

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour 

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling 

“I’m sure..!” you smiled 

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set 

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again 

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling 

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex. 

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.  

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest. 

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile 

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed 

“Hi!” you said frantically 

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema 

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes 

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready 

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’ 

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side. 

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling 

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand 

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said 

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing 

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling 

“Right!” you said getting up 

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling 

“Okay.” you said doing as he said 

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you. 

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers 

“Yeah that's right.” you said 

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes 

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said 

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving   

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve 

That went pretty well.

You thought 

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open. 

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head 

Is this Ken? 

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are. 

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit 

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks 

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables 

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles 

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant 

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly. 

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you 

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing 

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly 

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him. 

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit 

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food 

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table 

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something. 

“Are you okay?” you asked 

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought 

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit 

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something. 

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already. 

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him. 

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted 

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt 

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave. 

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you. 

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work. 

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember? 

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before. 

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling 

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed 

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen 

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up  

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head. 

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying 

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi 

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity. 

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that. 

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face 

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out 

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper 

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out 

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock 

���Come in.” he said 

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’ 

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop 

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot. 

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave 

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you 

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry. 

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said 

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated 

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch 

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes 

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist 

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him 

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence 

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled 

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene 

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone 

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face 

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man 

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight 

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh 

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle 

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry 

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two 

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men 

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face 

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both 

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then. 

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops 

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks 

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same 

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot 

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store 

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.  

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter 

“..Thanks” he said 

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling 

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him 

“Yeah..” he said smiling 

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink 

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said 

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff 

“Why’d you do it?” he asked 

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him 

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face 

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously 

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered 

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand 

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing 

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up 

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction 

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back 

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled. 

“Likewise.” 

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down. 

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop 

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement 

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars 

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face. 

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile 

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face 

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows 

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him 

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said 

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked 

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him 

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen 

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part 

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes 

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock. 

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear 

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly  

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

[oni-tengu]

DONT REBLOG

ive basically had my ask box open for months so feel free to send requests but i got a booster today & my shit hurted (arm is sore) so im gonna chill tonight maybe. idk.

aaaaanyway, status aside, i just. man. those asks this morning LMAO ive had to just say shit before (ie getting inc*st shippers in my notifs) & clarify im not down with this shit, so.

i just need to talk, and if you disagree with the following, have any issues at all, question the legitimacy of things listed below, just do me a favor & block. i wont be responding to any potential distaste for anything i talk about, but here's some shit i am against and feel vital to clarify. so you know where i lie and that this blog has no space for awful things, its become unfortunately very important to state certain....things. long post

cw / tw for mature topics in mention (AGAINST the following) : p*dophilia inc*st gr**ming

firstly, the topic of inc*st. hard no, this ALSO goes for anything involving minors in any sexual context, minors with adults in an unreasonable age gap (lets just say the limit is 18 y/o with a 20 y/o as acceptable and i generally avoid thinking about people under 20 anyhow bc im 23 and ive lost relatability with people that much younger than me)

why? the idea that fiction does not affect reality is just something i dont agree with. fiction needs criticism, yes, but having things portraying p*do and inc*st in a sexually gratifying light contributes to brainwashing & grooming, and ive seen it firsthand because i was on homestuck tumblr in 2012 when i was 13 years old and it was NORMALIZED. it was a case of community grooming and it FUCKING WORKED. i feel grateful that i was able to see past it when i got older but it was DANGEROUS and theres a plethora of horror stories of kids at cons & meetups being actively groomed and put into harmful situations in real life. this is just a fact, this all happened, i witnessed it firsthand, and i have friends that were right there with me.

placing the blame on minors and victims is not the response anyone should have. saying to "think critically" about the media a person consumes when someone is being actively harmed by the topics above, is harmful in itself. it is not on the victims to "know better" when they are being groomed, just because it seems easy for others, when this is an active, real life issue. and honestly, fuck you so hard if you disagree with that, or that its not even "real"

i truly have such a hard time believing that people honestly defend literal fucking p*dophilia online under the guise of "its harmless fiction". i think people who agree with that are perpetrating this propaganda, brainwashing, and the minors who think its okay HAVE been brainwashed and they dont even know it. they vehemently defend it, and most people in the REAL WORLD would be horrified and disgusted by this, even afraid for these teens and preteens. i certainly am!

moving on to the next point of discussion, i think sexualities and genders should be respected! youd think this is an obvious one, but hey look, last night someone wanted me to draw dirk strider in a romantic ship with a woman. this goes for fiction and real life, sexuality and gender matter & should be respected. ill be honest, theres some microlabels and identities i dont always understand, but people finding comfort in things, figuring stuff out, its usually just something you should let be, and i try to. i dont believe harassment is the answer & i'd go out of my way to defend someone with an identity i dont understand, if theyre being bullied! as long as youre not being offensive or harmful, this is a safe area for yall

i.e. trans men are men, trans women are women. i've had my own identity questioned since i identify with being nonbinary/agender and a lesbian at the same time, and to me and many others in the community, this makes sense, but to others it clearly does not. as long as youre not encroaching on communities that are not for you, your identity should be respected, and i am determined to reflect that in my creations as well.

to wrap this up, hoping i got the more "controversial" things out of the way, i want to point out that there are nuances to every social topic. i was not born with knowledge of all things, and every year im learning about stereotypes ive never heard of, history that belongs to communities im not a part of! so, i want to say that if im unconsciously adding to or portraying some offensive thing, itd be important to me to be made aware. morals & empathy are two things i care about very deeply and if theres something i should know, then i'd at least LIKE to know.

if theres another social topic that matters to you enough that you want to know where i stand so you can feel comfortable in who you follow, i'd be open to questions. but to reiterate: any bullshit about disagreeing with me, any hate, etc will not be responded to & will be met with a VERY adorable block (: so cute when that block button is utilized. feel free to use it tbh

so. there we are. showing my whole ass here. morality matters and im sticking to my guns

TL:DR

i hate inc*st and p*dophilia, fiction affects reality, non harmful identities should be respected, tell me if i fuck up.