complicit-hypocrisy

[complicit-hypocrisy]

crazy ass rambling under cut, my bad

tw: talk of abuse & manipulation

i want to hurt someone so much, i dont even know whats wrong with me and i dont know if i care enough to fix it, or even find out what it is.

the thought of changing someone over time, breaking them down, and absolutely fucking frying their brain with as much pain as possible.. its fun. kinda.

i dont have any specific wishes as to what id want to mold someone into, really, as long as they love me enough to not leave me, or they think they love me or need me, then i think im fine with anywhere my abuse might take them

i feel like ive manipulated people into liking me, not intentionally, but more like theres something about my core that ive kept hidden and now im letting it slip bit by bit, ramping it up and no one is noticing, they say "you wont be an abuser, stop worrying about it" but they could never read my thoughts, and id never let them

anyway, someone said they loved me, and they said it so honestly, so innocently, and i shouldve been happy, and i was, of course, but i couldnt stop thinking of how easy it would be to hurt them. i mean, yeah im not some genius manipulator mastermind, which is why im probably not really gonna do anything, id hate to look stupid and make my friends turn their backs on me if i fail to manipulate them well enough

but the thought that i made someone love me, and if i wanted to hurt them theyd probably take it... it's sickeningly good. they already take the weird fucked up shit i say with no problem, it doesnt make them feel anything, and theyre so vulnerable right now too.. whatever.

now, im not gonna actually go on and abuse someone, because thats fucking stupid and its too much effort for something that might ruin my life, but its just something i like thinking about, i guess

[complicit-hypocrisy]

I found titties without even looking for them.

Wow