#i dont know man!! i need someone 2 bounce ideas off lmao

[watery-melon-baller]

good god trying to figure out how to do this survey is so difficult. wording questions in a specific way so I actually am getting the info I want but I don't wanna be TOO pushy. don't know which ones to keep multiple choice or short answer because one is a lot easier to collect datawise but doesn't allow for nuance. i don't know what I am DOINGGGGGGGG

[misterbitches]

what i like abt muren and li chen

i’m sorta burned out and my vagina is bleeding so lemme see if i can type this. probably can lmao. my brain is going ten miles a minute.

1. the fact that they were friends first.

 someone on here said this and idk who but i don’t want to seem like it was my idea. 

the fact that they are friends and didn’t have like a connection previously and it developed. most times friends-to-lovers has a basis of some sort of romantic interest from another person so they were not truly ever friends, you know? and many relationships people aren’t friends first but that’s the best kind. and they are the truest form in that (i wouldnt say truest means good but just i think a representation of) they were truly friends, no attraction at least consciously, and were lead into it. 

2. bc they know each other well and are friends they know each other and LAUGH and if you can’t laugh with your love then there is no point. 0. lmao. i love it

idk they fell easily in2 the luvy duvy part and u can actually believe they are into each other like outside of kissing. gee. also hello! when lichen like threw the heart in the office and muren caught it? bitch! i woulda been like ew!!!!! and blushed but muren was like that’s right that’s my bitch

3. bouncing off 2 um uhhhhh the way they interact so i guess this is 2 but whatver i like lists now

muren is >:O but super sweet and receptive to others. so he responds to people and it isn’t just stoic for stoic sake or with not much substance. idk how to say this but oftentimes sometimes i feel like characters will be too oppositional to offset their partner and it can be extremely annoying to watch because it’s part of the dynamic but sometimes there’s a lack of reciprocation. i like that even if muren is quiet he smiles a lot and lets people know through his actions and shit. esp his mans. and when he needs to talk, he will. 

lichen is perfect for this because of reasons. what do you even say about this dude holy shit. first of all he really is a fucking himbo. he’s not even dumb he’s just a fucking himbo. it’s great to say the way they express their excitement and the best thing to hear, “i can be myself around you”

4. u cannnot tell me that this top/bottom discourse is actually not ridiculous esp for them bc there is no way that my eyes are seeing what i see yet there’s some struggle when they’re trying to constantly grapple with the masculine/feminine aspects (this is a good thing)

with the way that they hang off each other. esp bc lichen is shorter than him and stockier and he can attach himself like a barnacle. the way he expresses glee and love is very “feminine” at times IE reliance, support, putting your head on his etc but then there are times when he is the one to hold muren too. so it’s like they are clearly on the same  level in how they exchange love and stuff and exploring the dynamics but it clearly isnt as structured as the usual ones and it shouldnt be so they should just stop talking about this shit cos ur both getting fucked god shut up

lichen squeals like a girl and is obsessed with him. he is clingy and also says “what do you want to do to me.” if this show is gonna sit us through the agony of this stupid discourse and they tell me they arent gonna sw*tch or whatever (not that they cant have other forms of sex bc that is not that difficultand as adults w eknow this but anywaaay) then they simply are wrong

5. the ~gay 4 u~ thing is dumb and i cannot believe it tbqh cos it’s like sir....but i am glad that lichen like expresses attraction to his physique and personhood as a man and acknowledging that that is something and a part of the attraction.

 it was probably a happy accident but it’s still a good one. there’s sometimes an idea of like sexual attraction being sorta nebulous when someone is like getting into a rship with the same gender but not being sure about their sexuality or whatever or still liking another gender explicitly where they cant admit they find things attractive or enticing even when they are in a same sex relationship and it is so fucking confusing and doesn’t make sense. i wish instead of trying to make it cut and dry they just went honestly mabye they dont know but theyre both men and thats a factor. ok lets move on now. :) 

6. they make u feel nice

especially in comparison to the show being messy and also there’s some crazy stalker man running around you know they temper that 

they’re just really fun to watch. it’s an interesting dynamic and particularly with xing si in their lives it’s nice and i’m so glad there’s no one else to ruin it like say a brother who is a waste of space. but it’s mostly good feelings for them and you can see why they like each other, that they can stay together, and how helpful a relationship can be as you grow as an individual

7. while i am sure there will be further misunderstandings...comm...unic...ation?

literally boys are dumb as hell but idk if my reading is correct on this one but SO FAR TO MOI im like wow u guys like actually talk. woah. and i think that’s nice. yest i had a breakdown in front of my fam bc i am sometimes emotionally stunted when faced with distress so it’s nice to see people talking that out in particularly with like jealousy and stuff

AND their interactions in public and the understanding. knowing it takes time and stuff for them to adjust and allowing them the time. they are extremely different to other people and they want to be distinct and they can be and arre to each other they dont need to follow anyone else’s rules (except the costume department sometimes needs to get better pants for muren like that’s my rule tbh but that’s neither here nor there)

did some1 call them emotional support himbos? i think so cos word. 

oh one more thing idk the name of the actor playing li chen and im too tired to look it up but i like him a lot i think he does a good job of going seamlessly between like a jubilant person and an actual human being. he plays well at being oblivious but not outright stupid and emotionally stunted or not picking up certain signals. i think at times it seems like he doesn’t always have a sense of self  like trying to be something else for other people but then he realizes like he can’t do that so all he can do is be himself which leads him 2 his mans but yea. the actor does a decent job! it’s a fun character to wathc

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

What are ur tilda hcs?

Okay im finally gonna answer this!! Thank you so much for asking!!! I love receiving asks and I love sharing my headcanons. Sorry again it's so late ❤❤❤

This isn't gonna be nearly as well worded and eloquent as I originally planned. The first time I wrote it it basically became a drabble about her life. And then I lost that whole draft. Lmao

I just don't have it in me to recreate that whole thing again but I still wanna share my headcanons about her because I do have a lot!

I also wanna say this is in no way to like... excuse her behavior or try and redeem her. She was a terrible person. But people aren't born terrible. And I like taking 2 dimensional fictional women and making them make sense. So this isn't to excuse but instead to explain? I guess?

cw for all the shit you expect with the minyards by now, but specifically drug addiction and statutory rape. Also this is LONG so its going under a cut.

So first of all, I imagine her and Luther as being half siblings. Their father was a preacher or something- someone with a big role in their church's community and a big reputation of being a reliable, wise, holy man.

When Luther was maybe around 3 years old, there was this teenage girl in the congregation who would often come to Mr. Hemmick for advice, guidance, comfort, etc. She didn't quite fit in in school, wasn't great at academics and struggled to keep up with her siblings achievements, and was overall going through a lot of the turmoil thats unfortunately common for teenagers.

So she, like many people in the congregation, went to Mr Hemmick for guidance and ended up seeing a lot of him. She felt listened to and believed in with him. She felt like he treated her as more mature than the way her family treated her. She trusted him. He abused that.

If you asked her at the time, she would have said it was consensual between them. But she was 16. And when she became pregnant, he turned on her REAL fast lemme tell you. He made her promise not to tell anyone that he was the father, and he only told his wife. And of course, when he told his wife, he talked at length about how this 16 year old girl tempted him to sin; how he regretted it and only hoped she could learn to truly find God.

So he took the child in upon being born as a way to "attone" for what he'd done, but the whole community (not knowing he was the father) just saw it as an act of good will. And of course he'd tout off a lot in his sermons about how he'd be able to give the baby a much better, holier lifestyle than a teenager who turned her back on god by having sex.

So he and his wife end up raising Tilda from birth, but they make sure she knows from the beginning the circumstances of her birth. They drill it into her that her mother was a dirty sinner and that she herself is tainted as a result. She is raised always feeling like she needs to be twice as good to even be considered half as good as her brother in her parents eyes.

Naturally, she stops trying pretty early. In middle school, I imaging her being one of those bullies. The really nasty ones who get violent at their victims for even looking at them wrong. Idk about anyone else, but in my schools growing up the fights between the girls were always way bloodier than the ones between the guys. And I imagine those as the types of fights she got in- especially when one of her victims decides to stand up for themselves by throwing her own baggage back in her face.

By high school, she was thoroughly committed to the role of problem child. She would do everything she could to upset her family and get herself into shit. She'd do drugs, skip classes, show up to school drunk, stay out late, etc. In addition to all this, she would purposefully find whatever guy seemed like the most trouble and take him home. Whether this was the school drug dealer, a boy who got expelled for some rough shit, or college boys who caught her eye at parties.

So she's basically dug this hole for herself where she's committed to actually being the child of sin that her family has always seen her as anyway. The few people who tried to reach out to her wouldn't get far. She would push and push at them to see how far she could stretch their patience (to see how long it took them to give up on her like everyone else).

She even had one teacher who never did give up on her. But she outright told Tilda that she can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Those words would ring in Tildas ears for years to come, even if she never found it in herself to put the concept into action.

So eventually she'd graduate- just barely because she rarely put in effort in school- and she'd be left to suddenly have to find a place in the world when she previously never even thought she'd have a future. She started batting heads with her family even more (which no one thought was possible at that point) but it became less antagonistic on her end. She was still a shit stirrer, don't get me wrong. But she was getting tired. The fights were less about her being intentionally aggrevating and aggressive and more about her continuously being unable to live up to their expectations.

Luther already had a promising job as a cop at this point, meanwhile she was still living at home and bouncing between jobs that barely kept her afloat and boyfriends that barely made her feel worth something. She'd gotten into drugs in high school, and the habit only got worse now that she was out. It was the only thing that made her feel something other than misery or numbness. She could lose herself in the drugs and the boyfriends and the late nights out. She would come home to see her parents less and less and would speak to them only when absolutely necessary.

Eventually Mr. Hemmick died fairly young (heart attack or something equally as tragic. Whatever I dont care about him enough to pick the details) and his wife followed soon after by suicide. The house was left to Luther, who moved back in immediately and said there'd be changes in the household. He basically told Tilda to quit the drugs and go back to church if she wanted to stay in the house. He also had other rules like keeping a job, dumping her current boyfriend, giving her a curfew, etc.

So she left. She took her shitty beat up car an ex had fixed up for her and headed to California. A friend from high school lived out that way, so that's where she headed.

During this period in her life the drugs got a lot worse. This is also when she realized that she had become addicted. Mainly this is because, even after being away from her family and having freedom, she was still miserable. She didn't know how to get through a day sober. The constant variation between numbness and misery was too much to bare, but she wasn't ready to help herself. She wasn't ready to commit to her own healing and health.

She was in and out of therapy and rehab as quickly as she'd change jobs and partners. She wouldn't commit, and as soon as she had an out she'd take it. Had to miss an appointment for scheduling? Didn't make it back to the shelter in time to claim her bed for the night? Forgot to call back one of the few people who tried to reach out? No going back.

This is my main thing with Tilda. She was a shitty person who had a shitty life. But she never found the strength and commitment in herself to put in the work to be better. She instead let herself fall further and further down the hole because it was easier than pulling herself out. Because part of her still believed deep down that she had succeeded in living up to her birthright- that she wasn't deserving of ever healing or being better.

It was in one of these rehab facilities that she met the twins' father (and this part is absolutely inspired by Luke and Joey from the haunting of hill house). He was a guy with a similar past to hers- always sure he was meant to be bad so he committed to the role and never learned to commit to anything else. The difference between them, though, was that he was ready to get better.

They became fast friends and leaned on one another a bit while in rehab. She didn't see him as anything other than a friend, but he unfortunately became set on this idea that they would heal and move forward together. She knew he had feelings for her and enabled him (she didn't love him back but had never actually felt cared for like this before). He believed in her even when she didn't believe in herself, which was a lot. Unfortunately for him, he also ended up being more committed to her healing than she was. When she eventually started spiraling again, all other feelings for him were overshadowed by the part of her that just saw an opportunity.

She took advantage of him. She slept with him, took his money while he was sleeping, and bailed to get high and never see him again. Now I'm not gonna say she was just a devil who entered this poor man's life. He saw her more as a potential for an ideal life than a person. He was more in love with the dream he had of them getting better and starting a life together than he was actually in love with her and who she was as a person. Bad match all around.

So she never saw or heard from him again. When she found out she was pregnant, she went home to Luther and his wife and son. She didn't tell him right away that she was pregnant. Instead, she pretended she was just finally ready to commit to God and turn her life around. She played the part alright for a while, went to church with them and got sober and everything, but tried to leave and move into a women's shelter when she started showing. Luther found out and brought her home.

At first he was actually super supportive- mainly because he just genuinely thought she wanted to find God and stop "living in sin". But when she finally told him she didn't plan to keep the child, he turned on her.

We know the story from there. Personally I think the night that she stole the money and ran as her point of no return. Years down the line, when she knew she was being a terrible mother and person, she'd remember that night. And she'd think to herself how this is who she was always meant to be. How she doesnt deserve to be any better than how she is. And she'd dig the hole deeper.

-----

So yeah thats my take on Tilda Minyard. Sorry it was so long. I like the idea of giving depth and complexity to female characters- even the bad guys and the ones I don't like. I have a similar lengthy life concept for Mary Hatford as well, but it isn’t nearly as long. If anyone is curious lol

Thanks again for asking!

[foryouthegays]

Nothing bad ever happens at a festival. [Dream SMP] liveblog w/ timestamps

yes im still a techno apologist i love him too much [edit after he ‘betrayed’ tommy: yallre still tommy apologists after this???? lmao cringe /hj i think that theyre both right, but techno should be angry about it]

good technolaughs: 00:14:15, 00:50:50

other: (00:01:31 techno calls phil his friend,,,,,i love them) (00:16:55 tommy calls phil ‘dadza’ aww) (00:20:30 do do doo) (00:47:20 HEHH????) (00:56:15 SELLOUT TIMER POGGGG with dream! and then again at 01:06:55 and 01:25:20) (01:20:20 fundy is dead pog blood for the blood god)

posted the summary right before this :D

ik i say this every time but his startin’ the streammmm is so good i love it

a;ldkjfa 00:00:25 ‘whY IS A BOTTLE CONSIDERED A FRIENDLY CREATURE-’

also techno calling his audience ‘boys’ gives me so much gender serotonin ty mr blade ily

00:01:30 PHILZA MINECRAFT!!!!!

00:02:00 ‘im going to be headed to a festival today :D’ ‘oh you got an invite?’ ‘...im gonna be headed to a festival- [laughs]’ a;lkdsjfa love techno

phil is such a horrible person i love him. ‘dont kill too many people!’ 

phil n techno bullying tommys house,,,;alksdfjas

ALJDFAFDK 00:05:55 ‘the economic consequences of murder’ 

HI TOMMY

i love all the ‘inventor of minecraft, philza minecraft!’ jokes theyre so funny jhfdskla

ALS;DKJFA AT 00:07:30 TOMMY ASKS WHAT ENIGMA MEANS I LOVE HIM A;LDKFJA

i love tommy bc he just. he just says things. ex, 00:08:30, ‘it is likely, everything is likely when I am me, and I am always me, until the day I die. when I die, this world will be stupid.’ like how does he THINK of that???? what is his brain like???? i love him

‘technoblade, I only jump on poor people.’ 00:09:05

techno n phil have such similar vibes. like theyre both sarcastic n bounce off each other so easily,,,,,i want a full stream of them again, turtle time n a new home were AMAZIN

techno is literally tommys dad hes like, ‘do u have everything you need? do you have the potions?’ its hilarious

00:12:00 PHIL LOOK OUT ITS A BABY ZOMBIE <- another one of my favorite phil jokes

00:12:15 TOMMY AXE OF PEACE????

00:14:10 ‘wait a minute, its raining!!! see ya, looser!!!! HAAAA!!!!!!! OH NO ITS SNOWIN’ IM GONNA DIE- thats fine, its fine, AAAHHAHAH” sky/bed wars energy 

00:15:45 what do u MEAN u arent against dream. i mean it makes sense, bc tommy isnt ur brother in canon nd hes just a kid u found nd helped but SIR?????

00:16:55 DADZA ALDSKJFAF

AL;DKFJA 00:17:15 ‘i dont think we’re in l’manburg anymore, tommy’ 

technos such a nerd abt directions i love him

ALKDSFJAFA 00:19:45 ‘hey, hey, notice that cool guy who used to live in lmanburg, that always built massive cobblestone towers?’ ‘uhhh yeah, that idiot’ ghjkfdsl techno ur so mean to tommy

tecnos yellin voice is so pretty

A;LSDKFJAS OPERATION INFILTRATION THATS A GOOD NAME 00:23:00

00:25:35 ‘you guys have fortnite?’ techno,,,

00:27:50 [about dream] ‘i think we’re quite a long way past making an enemy, technoblade.’ tommy has some good lines sometimes

aldkaf ‘i dont even see stars,,,’ ‘thats depressin’ ‘..yeah’ i love techno n ranboos mini conversations 

DREAM JOINED THE SERVER OH GOD. 

00:30:40 :CRAB: DREAM IS HERE :CRAB:

gjfsdfk tommy is so bad at directions is great

i love technos ‘????’ in chat when he has to be quiet its so funny. like he could easily mute and say things but its for the Immersion jhfgsdk 

also yall look at how much technos stuttering in his typing he has to go back at like, every other letter to retype it 00:36:15

A;SDLFKJAS HE LITERALLY TYPES ‘WHY CAN I NOT TYPE’ GHKDFJ

00:37:15 50V2 50V2 50V2 also dream sounds so mad

00:40:40 “HE WOULDN’T LIE TO ME, DREAM, HE’D LIE TO YOU, BUT HE WOULDN’T LIE TO ME.” OH MY GOSH

00:41:10 “i mean, you’re out here, accusing him of crimes, and you’re saying just because he’s defendin’ himself, that makes him guilty?” HELL YEAH TECHNO also oh, yeah, whatever, laws, cringeee

HFGJKSD TECNO RANBOO FRIENDSHIP STRIKES AGAIN!!!!! LOVE THEM

ASLDKJFASL AND THE FACT THAT TECHNO CHOOSES RANBOO TO MESSAGE,,,,LOVE THEM

[presidential alert, the boys are FIGHTINGGGGGG] a;lsdfja 00:43:30

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

HOLY SHIT TOMMY

00:45:05 ‘THE DISCS WERE WORTH MORE THAN YOU EVER WERE’  OH MY GOD

technos right, silent pvp is awkward as well

oh boy dream has alllll the discs

00:46:40 

“Techno...this isn’t me... this isn’t...I mean, I look around, and I’m not the person I want to be. I- I mean... I’m so sorry. Techno, if this is who I am, then I don’t want to be me anymore, man. I- I’m sorry. I’m with Tubbo.”

HOLY SHIT TOMMY JUST BETRAYED TECHNO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM OH MY GOD PHILZA RLLY IS THE ONLY PERSON TECHNO CAN TRUST

oh holy FUCK technos change in tone from “TOMMY WHEN I SAID- Tommy, perhaps I wasn’t clear yesterday. When I said that I’m going to destroy L’Manburg, and that you don’t have to help me, when I said yOU DON’T HAVE TO HELP ME TOMMY, I MEANT THAT YOU COULD SIT IT OUT, NOT SWITCH SIDES, AND FIGHT AGAINST ME!”

also “youRE BETRAYING ME, IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING, TOMMY” god i love technos yelling voice,,,

hoLY SHIT TOMMY ‘im worse than everyone i didnt want to be...’ DUDE CHILL ITS TECHNOS THING TO HAVE GOOD LINES 00:47:55

the contrast between tommy saying the whole ‘‘it is likely, everything is likely when I am me, and I am always me, until the day I die. when I die, this world will be stupid” and “i know what ive done, and I hate me for it” is just,,,,that HAD to be planned, right???????? theres no way he thought of that on the spot 

“thank you, for giving me the disc, but I just want to say that you’re an idiot” gfkhjsld DREAM you homeless fool 00:48:30

AL;SKDFJAS TECHNO TALKIN TO US VIA CHAT IS SO FUNNY ‘THIS HOMELESS MAN IS SPITTING BARS’ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH GJFKDS 

“you just gave me the ONE THING I needed to destroy L’manburg.” 00:49:05 ohhhh thats why techno ‘betrayed’ tommy jkghsfd because someone directly lined up with his ideals??? because he was just betrayed, and hes hurt, and he saw someone standing up for his ideas and future actions? every single one of u anti c!techno people r fuckin idiots i stg /hj /nm /lh

i love techno yelling at tubbo its so funny to me. like sir u are bullying a small child aldkfjalja

00:50:30 YOU CAN HEAR TECHNOS SMILE WHEN HE SAYS ‘OH IM LIKING WHERE THIS IS GOING’ AHHH I LOVE HIM!!!!!!

LASDKJFALSFJ I LOVE HOW DREAMS LIKE NAH I AM N O T CALLIN IN THAT FAVOR FOR THIS, UR GONNA DESTROY LMANBURG NO MATTER W H A T

GOOD TECHNOLAUGH AHH  YES LISTEN TO THAT JOY!!!!! THAT WAS A SOLID FIVE SECONDS OF TECHNOLAUGH!!!!!

ALDSKFJASF TOMMY KILLS TUBBOS DOG 

00:52:30.

“Tommy. Give me back my axe. You’re not worthy, I was wrong.”

“...no. No! You know what, Technoblade? I am worthy. And you’re not- you’re not gonna side with Dream to take down L’Manburg, are you.”

“I- I’ve been so transparent about how I’m going to destroy the government, I’ve explained my reasons, like, I’m destroying it because of a, b, c, they executed me, they betrayed me, you betrayed me... you know what, Tommy? You’ve made a decision today that can’t be undone, and you know what? I respect you, Tommy. You’re free to make your own choices, wrong as they are, that’s what anarchy is about. It’s about freedom, to do what you want. But all I have to say, Tommy, is that I hope you don’t come to regret it. “ OH MY GOD

also he just LEAVES :LDFJSLDKFJSF AND GOES BACK HOME IGHALSDFJALKF

A;LDKJSFAS DREAM TECHNO SELLOUT POG

a;ldkfja 00:57:10 ‘i’ve always said, you know, if you’re a viewer, the only support I need is your viewership. UNLESS YOU’RE A MILLIONAIRE IN WHICH CASE, RUN THOSE SUPERCHATS LETS GO” i love techno 

also dream :handshake: phil

green

 ALSDKFJALSF HE ALREADY FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED HES SUCH A NERD 00:58:00

AND THAT ‘I HAVE CONFIDENCE’ AN HOUR IN,,,,IM SO GAY

01:01:20 have yall noticed how much techno says ‘i hate this so bad’? its p often. i think he says it in his recent vid w skeppy as well

ok at 01:02:20 techno says to dream ‘this seems like the beginning of a beautiful partnership’ 

and at 01:34:10 of ‘nothing goes wrong’ techno tells tommy ‘this seems like the beginning of a beautiful friendship’ and i just,,,,,the PARALLELS they had both just found out abt the wither room but with one techno was showing him the whole truth and was vulnerable, kinda asking for friendship but the other is unstable and based off of....i want to say fear? mutual gain? 

i love it

01:08:40 techno doesnt trust dream pog

nother speech pog 01:09:10

“you know what I’ve learned, Phil? It’s that common interests are what bind people together, more than trust or anything, because I trust Tommy, I brought him in, I gave him food, the armor on his back, I made him weapons when everyone else ditched him, and what does he do?? He just goes crawlin’ back to the guys that exiled him. I can’t trust people on friendship alone, alright? Just common interest is the only thing I can trust, and we [Techno and Dream] have a common interest, we are going to destroy L’Manburg tomorrow, Phil, it’s gonna be gone, it’s gonna be a chunk error.”

01:14:48 all men do is betray technoblade, eat hot chip, and lie ALSDFJALDSFKAJSF IM LAUGHING SO HARD also why does techno casually use words like ‘exodus’ i love him but why

Run.

THE CAT SEES US. ITS MCGONAGALL A;LKDFJALF 01:22:45

‘we should make a parody of YMCA. dddd m c a’ blitz 2??? cmon techno u know u want to 01:23:25

technos glasses break at 01:26:50 a;ldskfjaf

awww techno got phil like 300 primes bc of the sellout nd techno gained 11,000 subs a;ldkfjaf w o w

[shaddy-bee]

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 3:

HOH: EVE

EVICTED: TAWNI 13-0

KORI:

Honestly, after recording this, it kinda shocks me how much was happening in House Chat... did they not have friends and family to spend the New Year's with instead of being drunk on Discord?

JESS:

If I have to hear Chris say "And I ooop" ONE MORE FUCKING TIME. I SWEAR.

WILLIAM:

I can't say I am not nervous about Eve winning HoH for two reasons.... First off I know that there are no more major house targets so now alliances might start forming, and I just hope that I am a part of them, and secondly I don't think many people know where Eve's head is at and whoever she puts up will absolutely be a blindside 

KRISTINE:

Oh my goodnessss Im so glad that Eve kept me safe this week. It really really sucks that I’m playing veto though... especially since Austin is up there as a nominee. I really think I should throw this Veto because I really need to keep my middle ground. I want to work with Eve for sure but Chris is just like pulling me into all this craziness with a big alliance and everything it’s really too much sometimes. I’m throwing this veto hard asf and this one BETTER not bounce back lmao. Anyways I hope this works out for me. 

JESS:

The relationships in this game are definitely becoming super evident and transparent right now. From the top of my head I can name at least 4 sets of duos, budding friendships, and alliances. This what I think so far.... Gwen, Silence, and Austin are an alleged thing. How do I know: Will told me because Madison spilled it to him. (Brien hasn't told me yet and I'm sure Madison has told me so that is SUSSSSSSS) As a result of that... I know: Will and Madison are close which means Brien/Madison/Will should be close just by association through Madison. Madison has come to life so it wouldn't surprise me if she was friends with a majority of these boys because apparently that is her thing. Brien also seems to be spreading his social seed around so those two are kind of scary to me but as soon as I expose they are dating I think there will at least be some paranoia there and people will target them. Will was an idiot and shared his screen so my ass took a screenshot to see his alliances and I do know he has one called "Rws League" so I know he's at least withholding that info from me. SO SUSSSSS but also can't blame him for not sharing alliances with me? We will work on that though. Next up we have: Kristine, Chris, Brien, Emma, Emma How do I know: Brien spilled the beans last round. Do I think it's 100% a thing not really but I do think there is a chance it is a thing. The idea of this being a thing is soooo scary to me because this group has sooo many other outside connections. Brien has Madison because well they are dating. Kristine and Chris are close I think? Emma and Def have that Galore thing but who knows? (I honestly don't think the Galore thing is an actual factor in this game) Kristine has Eve and that whole duo thing fucking scares me because I think they could both run this game if they wanted to do so. Where do I fit into all of this? I have no idea. I don't have anything outside of my day 1 alliance of Kori/Emma/Eve/Mackenzie/Myself and the weird Brien and Madison one. I know I need to make more connections so people won't nominate me or if they do I'll have the votes and the connections to stay. I know Brien has hinted at wanting to make an alliance of 5 with myself, Eve, him, and Madison but he's really pushing for William as a fifth. Which I would be fine with IF I didn't know that he was already close with Madison. I don't like power imbalances not in my favour in alliances so...  yikes. I feel a bit better about my position in the game right now. I do think I've at least gained some ground on people like William and Andrew. I want to trust Kori and work with him going forward but I'd be dumb to think he's not doing the same thing and planning for the future where the alliance implodes. I just feel like with Kori it is so hard for me right now to get him to give me info. I feel like I'm the one who constantly has to talk to him first, give him info first, and try to basically encourage him to TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS GAME and it is driving me insane. I'm trying not to be paranoid but that just scares me and shows me that just because I think I can trust someone it does not necessarily mean the feeling is mutual or at least it isn't at the same level of trust I have in them. This is probably paranoia all talking so don't mind me future episode reader.

CHRIS:

All right so I survived Potentially eve putting me up. I only assume that she would because her and Andrew seem very close. I know that I am on thin ice with some people however hopefully the nominations will stay the same and I won’t be back doored. If anyone in my alliance wins and they want to take down Austin, I might convince them to not and just shove all the votes on silence. If all the vote go on silence then Austin will still be here no matter what, which would then still have power trap, Jason’s book club, and underwood slongs are still intact. Soon this game will take off, and there will be no easy targets. When that happens I am hopeful all my appliances and the relationships I made or help me walk towards the end

KORI:

So, this kindof sucks? Like on one hand I'm glad Eve won HoH because I want her to raise her target so that she'll eventually take the fall, and because I know we're good and she won't be looking to nominate me or backdoor me for a solid while yet. Still not exactly a fan of how it went down since she did LITERALLY nothing in the challenge until the last hour. Mackenzie did all the work in my mind she should've probably won the challenge. The part that sucks is that she nominated Austin AND Silence, two of my Mandela Moncoles Alliance members, which means I can't actually win POV even if I'm capable of doing so. (Granted I'd have thrown even if she nominated one of them.) Because then I'd have to choose, that could expose things, yadda, yadda, yadda. I might come to regret throwing POV because it could lead to myself being backdoored. But I also am hoping the game I'm playing is like I don't know, not complete shit that I won't be in that kind of situation this early on. There's still some people where my relationship is pretty lacking and balancing that last challenge when I'm in 2 alliances was just a complete cluster-fuck, and here's hoping that if it IS Silence and Austin, that Silence is the one that goes. I feel like Austin is easier to manage, even if he's a little less active. Like Silence is ok, but we don't need more drunkeness and shit. Hopefully whoever goes my relation to Gwen and whoever stays remains UTR. Though the nomination situation might change post-veto. I'm also currently debating snagging the Utilities when I have enough money... I dunno, it just seems like it could be a good purchase for me, since I don't predict I'll be in a situation where I'll actually be able to get Boardwalk and Park Place. We'll see what my options are closer to the time.

ANDREW:

episode 3 why tf would chris come for me, he asked me to be his ally the other day like thats annoying af. he pissed me off "i see that william billed me. i now give myself permission to destroy him without feeling bad" mission accomplished i want to win this HoH so far im doing pretty good and im confident i can win if i keep it up the only thnig im worried about is i told my bf id hang out with him at like 7:30 but. might have to blow him off jk not ruining a relationship 4 this game but i hope i can win lmfao Chris pming mackenzie to get me out Ur ass is going up if i win mf Ur an idiot. I hate every man in this competition except brian and dem i like actually dont wanna try anymore these bitches are so fucking annoying like i will try but i dont fucking want to i hate kori and chris i hate chris so fucking much Eve is in first place and she hasnt done shit which is lowkey annoying af but its whatever For some reason i feel like Eve is going to do me dirty this week, I don’t know why i feel this way but I just do I see her as big af competition like probs my biggest, i hope she doesn’t see me in the same light because i don’t want her gunning for me@ Daily reminder I hate Chris I know it’s going to be a bitch to take him out of this game But i will go down trying Omg! Austin winning veto is fucking dope cuz i completely expected him to go home this week lmfao And i think he likes me still despite the whole chris thingy (i informed him what happened and how we will no longer be working together) EVE has informed me that there are sides slowly forming in this game, I tell her I'm scared bc I don't get much info, she tells me to stick with her and she'll have my back, so tht's what im going to do :heart: I trust her, the bitch is smart and people like her. her word seems genuine, she doesn't need to be making a deal with me, i have no power and she has all of it, so thats why im trusting her word rn 

JESS:

Well time for a tipsy confessional. Guess what? People aka: Kristine think me, Gwen, and Tawni are close? That's fucking news to me. That kind of really bothers me because I don't get how she'd come to that conclusion.... which means someone on a call spread that to Kristine. Somehow. The only people on call with the 3 of us were Brien/William/Madison I think so rip,

AUSTIN:

So... I was nominated this week. But guess what? I won the mother fuckin’ power of veto and saved myself. Now Tawni is on the block next to Silence as Eve’s replacement nominee. I’m in an alliance with Silence so it would make sense to vote out Tawni. Most of the house wants Tawni out I believe so I’m pretty sure she is going home.

TAWNI:

I’m probably gone TAWNIToday at 5:11 AM Part of me wants to quit because I’m annoyed But I’m not a quitter At least physically leave the game quit I’ve just given up I physically feel sick TAWNIToday at 5:18 AM I wouldn’t be in this position If this was the time o was going to bed and not waking up everyday Or if I could be more active at work And this happening right after I’ve had to deal with the add contacts shit Like and everyone is mad at me because I have a bad taste for cheatham in my mouth when I have a valid reason to be mad at him but everyone sees it as I’m mad he voted me out But when have they heard me talk about the others that did Everyone in the community believes what they want to believe And right now I feel like I’m seen as the bad guy TAWNIToday at 5:29 AM But someone is saying I have connections in this game And I don’t I talk to Jess and brien Two votes won’t save me My fucking connections are in here And no one here can help me The worst part is the fact if anyone drafted me I like let them down. And like people have said before no one really cares about the draft like that but it’s like people had faith in me or at least hoped I’d win and I came up short. And on a comp I’m able to get a 12 on and I just couldn’t do it TAWNIToday at 6:23 AM I just don’t understand what I did Because eve saying it’s not personal doesn’t make sense. I’m not a physical threat. I haven’t come close to winning anything. I’m not a social threat clearly because no one wants to keep me where. And she said I was always going to be the renom???? And now I’m the target? And she’s mad at me for being upset?? I’m I just that big of an idiot that I don’t see her logic? And yes I’m still crying TAWNIToday at 6:34 AM It’s seriously taking everything in me to not go off in the house chat. I have so much anger and hurt built up inside of me right now. From getting out on TS and having everyone hate me to getting put on the list and not being able to defend myself not being able to defend someone I consider a friend after I got them put in that Situation and now because I don’t even know who started this thing about me having connections. I

MACKENZIE:

hiiii currently trying to decide who i’m gonna vote to evict hzjjzjzjz ummm hoping me or jess wins hoh next round ummm also kristine still scares me

GWEN:

Tawni will be going home. So much has gone down in the last few days. I was on VC with Silence and he didn't realize that Madison was on and mentioned an alliance with us and Austin. And now people think we're in an alliance with Dem. How that happened? I have no idea. Also, people think that the "Old ladies" of Tawni, Jess, and I are in an alliance. Not true. Soooo that is a good reason for Tawni to go home. I DON'T TRUST BRIEN THAT SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH...LOVE YOU Brien, but you gotta goooo dude.

JESS:

So I'm just here eating a bagel kind of hoping I choke on it because maybe it'll put me out of the misery that is this GAME. So much has happened this fucking round. First of all Kristine trying to paint me, Gwen, and Tawni as a trio... super cute. She couldn't be more wrong.This is the second time Kristine has been shady towards me so she needs to fucking go. She won't go for a bit because Eve thinks 'she has Kristine" but I don't so she needs to BOUNCE. I don't trust Tawni one bit. She's too emotional, she literally admitted to hating me for A YEAR for a past game move I don't even remember or the game.. Gwen is also just... way.too.much. So that is a big yikes. So Tawni has to go. She was going to go regardless because of her comment she made towards me about being mad at me for a year. So that had to go for me before jury started because nope. not listening to that all game. I'll let Eve think she's protecting me from others but I would have pushed Tawni to go because she has the MOST dirt on my gameplay in this game. So this all works out. HOWEVER, MY BOO ANDREW IS KEEPING STUFF FROM ME. I'm heart broken. LITERALLY HEART BROKEN. I'm hearing he knew about the alliance of Gwen, Austin, Silence, Dem but he didn't tell me. Now he's trying to pretend like he's hearing this shit for the first time and I'm just overrrrrr it. This is strike one for him. I know he's close to Austin. So that's probably why everyone knows about this alliance. Austin probably told Andrew and Chris. I think Chris told Brien who in turn told me.. and everyone else because he's... Brien. I've also found out that Chris/Kristine/Emma have recently played a game together so THANKS JACOB for casting them together. That there is also an alliance with Brien/Chris/Gwen which is cute. Will use this info later on. I just think there's way tooo many unknowns for me in this fucking game but I don't want to win next HOH because I would want to nominate fucking Kristine. She doesn't trust me and I don't trust her. I'd be so tempted to nominate Kristine/Austin just to shake shit up. But one could only dream and that'd be dumb. I'm so happy Mackenzie is starting to see through Eve's shit. I really hope she starts playing as her own player because I'd make her my #1 so fucking fast. I obviously can't agree with her straight up because she might go back to Eve but... Eve does treat her and me like we are her bitches. We HAD to give Eve the advantage, we HAVE to take out Tawni for Eve. I can't wait until people start seeing through her shit and she goes but not only I've secured myself in this game..

KORI:

So like legit, Tawni has CRACKED. She got really emotional on call with Gwen and Eve, she's apparently HARDCORE throwing Gwen under the bus. I'm just sitting here drinking my tea like: https://media2.giphy.com/media/3o7btLQZrOU4ssEew8/giphy.gif It looks reasonably likely that Tawni is going to go home as a result. What's interesting is that this week I feel like revealed a dynamic to me of Madison-Brien-Tawni-William, that I think I wasn't aware of before. I also just did a clutch maneuver towards what I believed to be peak Chaos, Me and Gwen went and bought the utilities. Ideally I'll be the one in control of how we use the Utilities no idea what the power is yet because we're so BROKE we can't even trade them to a single person to hold... so that's fun. I'm excited though because I feel like it's the first thing I've like DONE. Granted this probably removes any Chance I have of getting Boardwalk/Park Place. But I'm totally fine with that, the odds of me getting that whole set was low anyway, this one is at least obtainable and there's a chance that I might get some more of the lower properties too. Brien is honestly probably a snake though based on the conversations we've been having lately. But I'm not gonna look to make some giant waves. Like if I win HoH next week I'll probably nominate some combination of William, Dem, Andrew, and Madison. Just gotta see how this week goes first. (And actually win HoH next week. Probs won't happen... we'll have to wait and see.) In other news I just launched my ORG series Survivor Zenith YAS! It's stressful hosting an ORG but like I'm excited too, so here's hoping that goes well and that I'm still in this game when I finish hosting it.

EMMA:

shit is gonna be wild next week cant wait to make a confs and not be boring yeehaw

BRIEN: