#i dont know if ill get it cause its just sun darts and its $$$ BUT...BUT...

[andyridgeley]

letterkenny vinyl of my dreams was released

[valdederon]

FLAMES JOURNEY CHAPTER #25

after math raykores reveal and evils gaze and dire revalations.

later that night after nova and valdederon lay down in a warm volcanic and fall asleep a dak presance enters valdederons mind cakiling in the shaddows of his darker memories. valdederon steps up walking around in his own mind.

{mysteryious evil entity}-- your memories are interesting outsider youve irked me with your willful interference of my plans.. the goblins in the dungeon with the 2 demons.. that damenable magmar and that riolu. that little brat is a threat to me and my plans.. and so are you. but if you.

valdederon looks around in the dream scape only seeing a pair of deep bright and blood red eyes darting around and a deep evil presence radiating from its direction like radiation from a nuclear blast site.

valdederon-- i dont know who or what you are but i can garuntee ill continue beeing a thorn in your side. your not a demon id sense it if you were but your evil perhaps even more evil then most demons hell makes me regret my rampage back in my previous life. ive got blood on my hands possibly even innocent blood. but ill be damed if i let my family suffer, give your worst creature if you are the cause of novas kidnapping youve probably seen first hand the depths of my rage and my power.

{mysteryious evil entity}-- indeed. your strong willed but ill break you just as ive broken the legend…

[soft female voice]---- i havent much time young valdederon. human turned pokemon listen carefuly. that darkness you spoke with was a verry evil mew from another realm paralell to this one his name is ibirumyuu . he has poisened the legendaries this world is in ruines due to that the dungeons and the disasters and even magic its self have fallen to his influence there are 4 ancient nexus points of power., one of witch lay near you re open them and your magic from your realm will be bosted100 fold over. secondly the poisin can be cured . you must find LEEGAHN BERRYS at least 2 tons, NIRN ROOT OIL 50 gallons, 1 TON of HEXAVEX LEAVES , and lastly30 dark pecha berries for each legendary.

valdederon stares out into the now blank white dream scape as a evrry ill looking cresellia appears infront of him kisseing his fore head to bestow a blessing before he wakes up panting the morning sun just barely inching its way above the mountains in the distance. while collecting him self he looks up at the sky and puts his right hand paw on his face with a heavy sigh.

valdederon--- i need some god dam coffee. atleast little nova is still asleep. shes going to hate training probably. im sorry hun but ill have to work you hard.

valdederon rubs her back softly and sets a pile of berries on the floor and heads out side and begins violently attacking the side of a large rock formation for hours nova soon yelping to the sound of a deafening explosion followed by falling rubble and valdederon coming in from a dust cloud furr soaked with sweat and he sits down nova peaking out to see the once large rock formation solid granite and difficult to break even for most stealix a pile of rubble and puddle of bubbling glowing orange molten goop.

nova---…..should i even ask what that was for….

valdederon--- just blowing off steam

nova---??????

valdederon sighs --- venting my rage

nova---- oh ok.. why do you look worried

valdederon--- theres a darkness out there thats pissed off at me .. and the direct cause of the worlds cahotic messes .. and we… have to save the legdendaries. theyve all been poisined and are dying. ugghghghghg for the love of all that is holly . un holly and evrything in between. i swear this world owes me when i save it.

nova looks at valdederon the obvious stress in his face showing and she curls up in his lap and leans her chin on his belly like a puppy trying to comfort thier friend witch visably eases valdederons stress abit.

valdederon--- your training is alos going to get tougher as time goes on nova. after what happened and whats going on.

she whines but doesnt protest much as valdederon gently rubs her back calming down.

2 HOURS LATER

valdederon--- lets eat and get going mom and dad are probably pissed

nova---why..

valdederon chuckles---- i may have possibly incinerated my room..in a fit of rage i unleashed a spell called flames of rage.. and they are pretty destructive.. thankfuly the guild is mostly stone .

nova face palms and groans.

nova--- for the love of mother mew seriously..

valdederon and nova burst out laughing before they start eating berries toegther and then begin to head out after the sun is high up in the sky smoke rising from the once beutiful ancient ruins in the distance.

nova--- i…i love you val…i..im glad you treat me like a sister.

she yelps as valdederon flicks her nose.

valdederon--- i dont treat you like a sister .. you are my sister. you and i may be different species of pokemon but were still family never forget that

she whines but wags her tail walking along side him as they venture on home.

------mean while in the guild after novas rescue----

taiga the guild master looking in on valdederons room wrecked fire long since doused sighs and heads to the training arenas the guilds halls empty quiet.almost lifeless the guilds usual noiseyness no were to be heard driving home just how much more life one little feniken. now delphox had brought to the once sleepy guild.

taiga---its to quiet..

raykore---- well from the storries ive heard before my student arived not much ever happened before he arived. you realy dont have to worry about that kid.. and nova will come home to he will make dam sure of that i saw that look in his eyes when he dissapeared. not even an army would stop him i dont envey who ever angred him.

taiga--- yea when he arived he was a tiny little menace. powerful tiny angry.

evergreen chuckling.

evergreen--- yea i got my scar from that little brat though he did get a nice little vine whip back witch seemed to settle him. i dont hold it against him though riped from your home droped into a strange world your body changed your age changed your species changed. his emotions were all over for awhile.

raykore----well i think im going to make a permenant arival into this realm i think it would be wonderful to experiance this world in its fullest oh and taiga try not to be to hard on val for the room . that fire wasnt intentional hes done that a few times in his life..when his rage boils over it manifests in a spell like that blood red fire.

her ghostly visage vanishes before he can respond and he sights looking at old repairs in the training room before heading to the mess hall. while in the cold silence contiues emphasizing just how much valdederons presence changed the guild.

taiga--- come home soon val its far to quiet

the next day arives when valdederon walks in with a verry tired and cranky nova and the guild explodes into celebration startling the cranky aura doggo.

valdederon--- ha ha ha ha.. lets get you in for a nap hun .. guys thanks for the welcoming party but.. the pup needs her sleep.

nova--- HEY IM NOT A PUPPY DONT

valdederon plops a berry in her maw mid sentance and she growls and bites into it her stomach growling face blushing red as she sits next to him . making evryone say aww all at once making her blush even more and whine

draggo--- welcome back… you know your moms like mega pissed off about the room. the guild has been a ghost town with out you .. it was scary how wquiet its been.

valdederon--- thats odd well i have to get nova in bed after a quick snack. come on nova lets head to the mess hall and then get some rest ok

nova nods and goes to stand up but promptly falls on her tail with a yelp and a yawn before curling up and falling asleep in seconds making valdederon face palm hard.

draggo--- want some help ha ha glad your both home safe

they all head up to the living quarters and get nova set in a small nest and valdederon grabs some coffee and sits next to her. eventualy falling asleep and not budging while kleo bursts in and sees him and nova asleep then sighs softly.

kleo---well i think we should set up a party for them..seeing them now i dont have the heart to get angry.. welcom home kids.

she heads out and draggo chuckles following behind to help with the prep.

-----6 hours later-----

nova wakes up and weaklt stands up falling onto valdederons lap startling him awake spilling his cold coffee ervywere.

valdederon--- ha ha ha ha ha .. morning clumbsy.

nova---mmmppp im hungry and i wana bath.. my furr feels stiff.

valdederon--- ha ha ha noted.. well after drenching uss in coffee weatehr you wanted it or not it was a bath house trip any way… goa head and grab a towl and ill get some special soap ready to make your furr nice and soft.

she excitedly scrambles to her feet and looks around for a towl while valdederon gets up and stretches ignoring the worry at the back of his mind and uses his magic to open the item box searching through the portal for any useful shampoo. soon a golden ninetails walks in and chuckles when valdederon looks at her..

furr goldden shining fluffy no signs of scars or any damage but a sense of familiarity washes over him as he stares.

(the nine tails is raykore )

{mysterious nine tails} --- so how do i look. ha ha ha do you even recognise me.

valdederon---you seem fammilliar bot no i dont.

she chuckles revealing who she is making valdederon drop the bottle of shampoo in shock and hugs her firmly startling her but making her smile as she gently hugs him back after awhile all 3 of them head to the bath house were valdederon starts lathering the shampoo into novas furr witch is stiff and prickly from the stress of what she went through and sleeping outside for several days..

nova--- what is this stuff …b,big brother

she blushes smiling having said that.

valdederon--- its called shampoo and you dont have to call me big brother yea you are my baby sister but your also an adult so you can call me val or valdederon.

nova--- it still felt good to say.. thanks val.. are you sure this will help my furr we riolu and lucario are verry prideful about our furr.

valdederon--- yes it will no close your eyes cause it will burn if it gets in them

nova whines and closes her eyes then after a short 45 minutes he rinses her furr out and begins drying out her furr. nova purring loudly as he does.

nova--- oh my god its so soft…how how how how how…yipe…

she holds her nose as valdederon chuckles having just flicked her nose.

valdederon--- ill tell you later lets go get some food and please settle your excitement…

she nods and chuckles then they head to the mess hall were the lights are all off and the room dead silent at first. then the light burst to life followe by a chourous of welcom home startling both valdederon and nova and raykore chuckling before they all get swarmed by the guild happy to have thire firey tempred fox back after a long day of party shenanigains valdederon takes nova and raykore to go find taiga and kleo to discuse his bomb shell of a discovery. eventualy after telling about his dream scape encounter nova tears up raykore sighes putting her paw to her face kleo and taiga both sit speachless.

valdederon--- so yea..turns out i have to save the world….

kleo---out of the fire and into the lava huh…ahghhg well atleast take some time to research those engrediants..

valdederon--- already planed on hitting the archives soon.

( this marks the end of chapter 25 chapter 26 will start a new ark of the story )

[justselfloathingthings-blog]

for the mini fic meme - Yuu and Touko 14 :D

“Hey Touko-senpai, what are you reading?” 

Touko suddenly jerked back, her arms swinging wildly while trying to hide something behind her back; though, rather comedically Yuu thought, the rapid motions of her legs almost caused her to be knocked off the chair she was sitting in entirely, and leave her sprawled across the floor of the Student Council room.

The two were together well after student council had disbanded for the day, a habit that was becoming rather common for the two of them. Sayaka had said something about things at home she needed to take care of, and overall ended the rather strange stalemate between the three of them, as though Sayaka was engaging in some kind of strange competition with Yuu that only she understood.

Well, obviously, Yuu would be lying if she said that she didn’t understand it at least a little. Just a little, though, of course. 

However, what had caught Yuu’s attention was a tan-colored book that Nanami had been breezing through, her fingers rapidly flicking through pages, the setting sun bounding off her jet black hair. Yuu wasn’t going to pretend that it wasn’t a rather dynamic and beautiful image. Objectively speaking. 

Regardless, Touko had seemed rather absorbed in the book, which had piqued Yuu’s curiosity since something about the book’s size and coloration was tweaking something in the girl’s memory, but she wasn’t quite she what it was exactly. And she was hardly going to let this mystery go unsolved. Not dissuaded by Touko’s attempts at secrecy, she merely maneuvered herself to the back of Touko’s chair and softly snatched the book out of Touko’s hands, taking a good look at the cover. 

“Garden… of Lillies.” Yuu repeated the title softly, trying to figure out why the title rang a bell. And then it clicked. “This was the book you bought at the bookstore, wasn’t it?”

Though Touko was hardly an infrequent customer to Yuu’s family’s shop (especially recently),, she didn’t miss a bit, her back still to Yuu, but the slight quiver in her voice allowing Yuu to imagine how her face was like flushed (adorably) red. “Yes.” She said softly. She then immediately tried to grab the book back, her arms gesticulating wildly, Yuu quickly side-stepped however, glancing back at the cover for a moment, seemingly in thought. “I thought… you didn’t particularly want this in the first place.” She said thoughtfully.

“Well…” Touko’s speech began to rapidly increase in pace, though it was still possible to parse. “I mean, there’s that movie about it coming out about it, right? So I thought maybe… I could go see it, and it would be good to read the book first, to know if the story was any good…”

Yuu didn’t miss a beat. “And by ‘I’ you mean ‘we’ I assume.” She said dryly. Touko stiffened softly, though if she’d seen the soft smile on Yuu’s face, the barb would have almost certainly been taken out of her words. Honestly, it probably wouldn’t be the worst way to spend a free weekend. She then, book in hand, went and returned to her seat facing Touko, and quickly began skimming the book, her eyes flickering over the words. It seemed competently written, all told. And she couldn’t deny her curiosity at this point. “So, what’s it like?”

“Well…” Touko began, her voice picking up in enthusiasm. “You know the basic premise, right? It starts out as your typical “Boy meets girl in a small town” story, but then, roughly a third into the book, she meets a tall beauty…” 

Yuu interjects. “She wouldn’t happen to be part of the Student Council, would she?” Though her tone injected enough levity into the reply that Touko merely shook her head, a soft smile on her face. “Just a normal classmate, actually. Anyway, there is some buildup to their relationship, until she eventually has to choose between the boy and the girl she loves. She… chooses the girl, of course.” Touko’s voice nearly falters at the end (for rather obvious reasons, in Yuu’s opinion, but she knows nothing.) 

“And you want to go see the movie so you can hold my hand during the romantic bits.” Yuu essentially reiterated, softly shaking her head. “A pervert to the end, Touko-senpai.” Touko had the decently to softly blush, her eyes quickly darting away for a moment, as she made murmured denials. Yuu let out a soft sigh, then continued. “So… how far are you in it?” She asked. Touko’s blush (unfortunately) quickly subsided, and she marched on with her explanation, her voice slowly regaining some of its passion. “Well, I was near the end actually! It’s not a hard read, so I was about to get through it rather quickly. I think this is the climax of the whole work, actually.” 

For reasons Yuu herself didn’t quiet understand, she scooted slightly closer to Touko, though the other girl didn’t notice. “And?”

Touko seemed to get slightly fidgety, but softly continued. “Well, the protagonist admits to the girl she loves that she has feelings for her, but… the other girl is skeptical. I’d have to explain a lot of the book to really explain that part.” She quickly added at the end. Yuu simply nodded- it didn’t sound like a terrible read, she might check it out when she had the time. Touko then continued, her voice a little awkward. “And well, the protagonist decides to…” she full stops for a moment, and Yuu feels the need to prompt her on, while again slowly closing the gap between the two to the point that their distance could be measured in inches. Touko finally noticed their close proximity, though she didn’t back away. 

“To?” Yuu’s voice was soft now, containing some emotion she couldn’t profess to begin to understand. Touko’s voice was equally soft, if slightly off kilter. “S-So, she kisses her.” She finishes. Rather anti-climatically Yuu thought; she had to admit she missed the (precious) enthusiasm Touko had had at the beginning of her synopsis. Regardless, some sort of foreign impulse caused her to blurt out what she said next. “Do you think… how do you think that I feel about you, Touko-senpai?”

Touko seemed to be caught completely off-balance by the question, and searched for words. “I… we’re… we’re…” she couldn’t seem to find the right words; something Yuu found rather understandable. Their relationship was a constantly moving target that Yuu had found rather hard to pin down for a long time, after all. But she began to close the final gap between the two of them, quickly locking lips with Touko.

It was the first real kiss Yuu had ever really initiated with her… crush, she supposed? Maybe she could just up and admit that at this point. Given the newfound feelings of electric coursing through her as their lips locked and Touko paused for a moment, seemingly frozen in time. It took her a moment to reciprocate, though she rather enthusiastically did so. It was rather odd, Yuu mused, but despite all the rather foreign and strange feelings rushing through her, all that she could really think at the moment was ‘Saeki-senpai is going to be so mad about this when she finds out.’

After a couple minutes (though it felt so so much shorter) the two parted, both quickly gasping for breath. Yuu was the first to speak.

“I guess… there’s a word for this, isn’t there?” She said carefully. There was no question as to what Yuu was referring to.

Touko simply nodded, her smile utterly radiant, brighter than any smile Yuu had seen before. Yuu thought she could get used to seeing it, to be honest. 

(Sorry this took so long to get done, hopefully the length makes up for it! I’ll get the other two done.. tomorrow, hopefully. Tonight if I get inspired.)

(Don’t ask me where this fits chronologically, because I had no idea.)

[askpet-archive]

PET ep 5

Ari made the we i r de s t noise waking up. i feel bad for anyone who might've heard it as she rolled over. Only to fall on the floor with a 'thump'. She opened her eyes a bit and looked up at the seeing, seeing the clock she had installed up there. 7:30 am. She got to her feet and shook her mouse to her computer, only to see V-Tale had shut off. Seems her entire computer had restarted..woops. She got to her feet and brushed herself off slightly, looking over at the bed, hoping her best friend hadnt woken up by her fall. Era blinks, snapping out of her thoughts when hearing a quiet thump. She proceeds to quickly get out of bed after hearing the noise- What if there's a intruder in the house?? Oh no that'd be bad. She opens her door before walking over to Ari's room and proceeding to knock on it "Heyyy are you okay?" Well Ari, you.. technically woke her up? She was awake anyways, she was just going back to sleep Ari walked over to the door and opened it quietly, giving a yawn first thing "oh- uh. Yea. sorry if i woke you." she mumbled "just fell off my chair-" she paused "-again.." that was some guilt. She chuckled to laugh it off and gave a tiny smile "did you get any, or well..enough sleep?" she asked, lightly patting her friend on the head "No you didn't wake me up it's okay- I was already awake." She blinks, staring at Ari "Uhm,, I think I did? Did you?" "I have no idea when i fell asleep. I walked into my room, watched VT for awhile and woop there i went." she muttered, rubbing her eyes slightly, "so..im not sure. but i mean.. i dont feel tired? like, more tired then normal. i feel normal, i guess." "Well that's good- If you feel normal, I mean- I dunno I'm still terrible with words." She pauses, taking a step backwards "M gunna go downstairs uhm, join me if you want to." She turns around, heading downstairs quietly Ari blinked, was Era okay? Was that normal? She tried recounting the times this had happened before, not remembering any.. She darted downstairs quickly and went and sat on the couch (not ontop of Max luckily), looking outside the window. The sun was up already, darn. Era looked over to Ari "Well that was fast." She blinks, looking over to where Max was sleeping on the couch "How was the talk with the newcomer yesterday?" Era questions, before sitting down on the couch herself "Max? Or Vincent?" she turned to look at her friend, then shrugged "Vincent, im p sure you heard that whole thing. i was kinda shook when i heard gunshots though. And Max seems cool. She watches VT and apparently didnt seem to know we lived right under north carolina. which is interesting. considering we're in south carolina. And she seems really eager about this job." she paused "..Era, you werent like, jealous or anythin were you? You sure acted like it. or was that just salt?" "Oh, well I mean, it's a good thing if she's eager about the job?" Era blinks, "Just my usual salt. I'm always salty over everything." Haha,, Max shifted on the couch, opening her eyes for a second before closing them again, determined to stay asleep. She knew she wasnt gonna stay asleep though. Ari blinked, that was the most obvious lie shes ever heard. "...oh my god you fuckin dork" she snickered slightly "Era your my best friend. aint nobody replacin you. got that?" she poked her friends nose and smiled softly, "besides, i just met this person. you know how my meetings can vary. Pissed, to shy, to overly happy. You had this same reaction with Angy, and me and Ang are just friends. not the bestest friends in all the multiverse." Era sighs "Ahhh, I know- sorry just. Uhm. Weird anxiety things?? But thanks hah." Ari nodded "i understand that..now, um, i do have something not as bright to ask. When are we going up a state to go meet Billy, because like..we kinda need to know our lives. considering our weird 'come back from the dead' issue." Era pauses, looking out towards the window for a moment "Uhm.. We should.. I don't know an exact time but like, we should do it pretty soon considering we don't know how many lives we even have. So, like, around today or tomorrow I guess? It kind of depends." "...Hey lil eavesdropper! we're goin to meet the Acachallas!" she called over to Max, havin known she was awake, before lookin back at her friend "We could do it today but i don't think Vincent wants to go somewhere, Arthur will hit me, Angy will say 'nope' and take a sip of sprite. and i dont want only two of us going, thats hella dangerous. they've got nukes." "..It sounds stupid but, maaaayyybe we could bring Max along? As like.. a test mission? Are you okay with doing that Max?" Max groaned. She felt slightly excited by hearing any of this, but sleep felt like a much better option. She just slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. "I'll do it, sure...." Ari made a snorting noise "that was a lovely noise. Alright" she clapped her hands together "What do you both want for breakfast" if anyone says Macaroni your going to have a very angry mom on your hands "I want ... wwaannntt.. cereal." "Ill eat whatever you got that isnt sausage, honestly.." Ari nodded "got it." off she goes into the kitchen Era blinks, looking over to Max "....." Klondike ears perked up "Thank you for not eating sausage" "??" "Uh, hi...." "Okay before you get confused Max, that's Klondike, a demon we have because of Spop." "Uh, okay...then..." mmm demons, woo, cause thats not gonna keep her up at night "They're friendly enough so don't worry." "I guess.." Sliiiides back into the room. she put eggs and Toast on Max's lap, and set down what looked to be juice on the side table, going over to Era and giving her some frosted flakes cereal™. She glanced at Klondike and rose an eyebrow "do you know what Spop likes to eat because i wanna get somethin ready for when she gets up." Era immediately starts eating her cereal, giving a quiet "Thanks" to Ari Max looked slightly more awake, especially with the food sitting in front of her. "Thanks dude." Piggy shrug "Spop is a strange girl. She likes worms" "...We dont..have worms but. i can make do." she grinned and ran into the kitchen, coming out with a packet of gummy worms, showing them to Klondike "will these do?" she looked back at Max and Era "no problem btw. I make breakfast for everyone alot." "You lied about not having worms" "These arent worms but okay." she went and put the gummy worms on the side table to a chair and then went back into the kitchen, coming out a few seconds later with eggs, toast, and bacon, hiding the bacon from Klondike's view. there she goes, sitting next to Era again. nom nom time "kay, wait. how are we going to explain to the group why we're disappearing. We cant just. poof. We're the leader and co-leader, and Max is a new member." she hummed "We tell them we're going to get a book on how many lives we have and put whoever we trust as leader and co-leader for the time being." "Arthur-" that was immediate, no thought there "Hes been here as long as me, and hes ore responsible then Angy...or. god forbid, Vincent." "Okay well, Arthur is the leader, Angy is kind of co-leader I guess while we leave." Up from Spop's room a frantic scream is heard "WHERE IS MY BEANIE?!!!!" "Alright then. i doubt any of em are gonna get up anytime soon and." she checked the time again, humming "its currently like 2 pm for North Carolins-" she snickered when hering the scream, bursting into uncontrollable laughter, A r i n o Klondike leapt from his place and ran upstairs to help the Spop Ari got up and ran to the closet, opening the door to take out her quiver, and taking a cat earred beanie out of it. Up the stairs she went to go into Spops room "Spop heyy, i still,, uh. had your beanie. oops. Uh. Worms are downstairs on a table if you want to eat" she smiled and lightly tossed the beanie to Spop Spop looked at Ari and caught the beanie "Thank you" ;u; beanie is hugged Ari gave a thumbs up and ran back downstairs "oooh kay. as i was saying. its now 3 pm for the north fucks. So if we wanna get up there it'd be a good idea to get outta the house asap. So.." she shrugged "we'd only be gone for like a day unless we decide to hang out there for awhile. but i doubt we will." "Well uhm. Guess we should pack then. Right now." Era stands up, walking over to where she placed her catbag near the front door, picking it up and putting on her high-heel boots "Okay I'm ready." Max just grabbed her over-stuffed laptop bag and put on her sandals. She literally never had anything more than that. Ari snickered, running upstairs, she came back down with two papers, simply having their deaths and causes written down. "welll, im ready too. Maxi?" she glanced at the other nerdo, putting one of the papers on the table and quickly writing a note for the other PET members "I'm ready, bro." Spop looked at the people about to leave. "You are gonna come back right??" Era walks over to the front door, proceeding to open it "Yep! We'll be gone for around a few hours or so. Maybe a day. Now lets goooo!" Ari nodded "kay, got it. The note just tells them where we're goin, what we're doing, and whos in charge.- Oh, Spop! i almost forgot- uh.." she paused, then blinked "Era, im not leaving my daughter alone with the maniac.s" "There's only one maniac though, shouldn't Spop be safe with Arthur and Angy?" Narrows eyes "Do you really trust Arthur and Angy with Spop?" "Nope." "Spop, you're comin along. Grab Klondike, your worms, and lets go" she muttered, out the door she goes to get the car started "Ok!" She runs off to get what she needs Era proceeds to walk outside too, heading over to the car but not going inside of it yet, waiting for Spop and Max to come out too Spop runs back out with Klondike and her gummy worms Max walked slowly out behind Spop, picking through her bag for something. Era grabs the handle of the car door, flinging it open "Well- lets get in the car, since that's a thing you need to do." She slides into the shotgun seat Max sat on the back right, closing the door and already staring out the window. Spop sat in the backseat next to Max Ari sliiides herself into the drivers seat, putting the papers in the side thing and starting the car. Woop woop roadtrip Era smiles, "Roadtrip start! Ari don't crash the car." Ari chuckled "i wooont" looks abck at Max and Spop "i dont have a drivers license." she warned, looking into the side mirror. Out of the driveway they go Spop looked out the window, fixated on the outside world

[lifewasntmadeforeveryone-blog]

To the man that was my forever,

Beauty.

To the man i thought was my forever,

I don't know where to begin ,alls i know is this is my millionth letter i've attempted to write.

I don't even know what i think because everytime i go to write no words seem to suffice what i want to say. I dont think ill ever have the words. Because this isn't how it was supposed to end, this wasn't supposed to end. I wish i had a do over that court day, i couldn't think, i couldn't breathe, but mainly, i couldn't feel. Or maybe i could but it was too much at once. Guilt resides in me and i didnt realize it until i noticed i kept having nightmares. I feel guilty because i didn't get closure didn't get to say my goodbye, explain to you my side of that day on may 5th. SO i guess this is it, My final goodbye. Hopefully you've read it by this far and not thrown it away.

When you first went to jail i didn't know how to feel, i remember when DeDe showed up to your house that night on may 5th. I remember looking out that little corner of the front window that ugly yellowed curtain didn't cover and watching your face. I couldn't tell what was being said. Alls i know is you didn't look happy and any time DeDe came around i got beat after, and after the beating i just took my body couldn't take another slap. Even as i am writing this right now i can feel my heart begin to race rapidly and my hands become clammy as my hands begin to tremble.

I remember my heart climbing up my throat as every second grazed by. I stood there, whole body trembling, i limped to the back door and slowly with my unsteady hand i reach out for the back door screen door and push it opened, i remember hearing the loud click as the hardened plastic on the handle clicked opened, my heart stopped. I closed it and limped back to the front window to see what was going on and you were looking at DeDE i rummaged in the dark for clothes and all i could find was my pink velvet zipper hoodie and your shorts, couldn't find socks couldn't find shoes, no bra and no panties. I took one last glance at what you were doing and limped to the back door.

Demon started whimpering and i tried to calm him. I remember saying goodbye and kissed his head and took one step outside on the cold wet cement steps, i remember slowly walking and took my second step onto the dead grass and landed on a decaying leaf.  I swore it the crunch under my foot was as loud as a buckshot. After that i knew if i didn't run i would be noticed. So i sprinted like my life depended on it, darted through the small brush that i swore was gonna make me collapse, and i furiously searched for houses to knock on . I was on my third house when i looked back and noticed the second one i had knocked on someone emerged from, so i bolted and yelled as loud as my whisper could go undetected and she saved me. She called 911 and assessed me the best she could.

I stayed on the floor rocking back and forth, made her turn off all the lights because i knew you were looking for me. I heard a knock at the door and my heart slammed down my feet i swore it was you. But it was the EMS men. I shed a tear of relief because i was finally safe. They assessed me, took photos, i remember walking to the ambulance and as they pulled off i watched the yellow house get smaller and smaller until i couldn't see it anymore. I spent 5 days in the hospital and was unconscious for 3 of them, doctors said because of how much trauma i undergo that it was too much stress on my body to remain awake. Mom said only time id wake up is when she rotate her head when she rested her head at the foot of my bed and that my body would jolt and id look around.

I saw over 50 different  types of doctors, they moved me out multiple rooms, every time i was wheelchaired, everytime they wheeled me down a hall the halls got silent people started but tried to act as if they weren't. Everyone expressed their apologies and how they are glad you're in jail, i even had a nurse that drove from canada every day to here. Her son was a developer of Roblox, a more childlike version of minecraft. The last day was the hardest for me. I remember putting a hat and the blackest sunglasses i could find to hide my face.

I remember pulling out of the hospital garage and turning onto the main street and feeling the warmth hit my face, mom had the top down and sun radiated of my cheeks. I remember going home and feeling sick to my stomach as i sat on my bed looking around. It didn't feel like home. I stood up and looked outside the window and my gaze was stuck on the Lansing capital, hatred pulsed through my veins and i felt a sudden urge to throw up so i ran to the bathroom but only gagged. I went to splash water on my face but my appearance caught my eye. For the last week anytime i went to the bathroom i kept the lights off because my face make me wanna puke. I gingerly caressed my cheeks making sure to apply no pressure. My eyes were the size of rice, could barely see, for the last 5 days i has lubricant caked between my eyelids because who knew when your eyes swelled shut it would cause them to get dry and irritant. They pumped the highest dosage of morphine in me but nothing relieved the pain. I didn't leave my house for few weeks when i got home. I barely slept because the nightmares made me insomnia. I had to explain to Amelia, my little 9 year old sister why livy's face and body was torn up, she bawled her eyes. Everyday may 5th was stuck on repeat in my mind like a broken record player. It repeats much it began to blur together, until i couldn't hear your voice anymore.

It was June 27th when i miscarried. Days prior i was in and out of the ER trying to get answers as to why i was bleeding so heavily. But i'll never forget the contractions. My water broke and i didnt know what it was, so i laid back down. But the cramps was horrible. I was exhausted when i felt a sudden rush and as i glanced down a darkskinned blood soaked baby was dangling from me, its little arms and fingers, its little head . That fucked me up i couldn't breathe alls i could do was scream. The EMS guys came up to the apt and blood was everywhere, they had me slowly get up and the baby descended from me. They flushed it down the toilet without even calling their supervisor. That tore me apart. You know they had me do 12 different x rays, told me its urgent but i have a high risk of losing the baby?

Firstly i wanna apologize for being boge in the beginning, i wasn't committed to you because in my eyes we were a real thing, looking back we were more real then than we were in our final weeks together. I didn't realize you were giving me a chance then. I didn't realize what i took for granted until you became violent. It's partly my fault you became violent. So this my tell all i guess.

Secondly i wanna start with your cousins, Mike, Eldred , i never met mike before, it was around february when you went to jail for that warrant that you blamed me for because had i been at your house you wouldn't have been driving, i added him along of other relatives because i wanted support, i wanted them to like me, little did i know how bitter your family was. Eldred i met through one of my plugs i we became smoking buddies, it wasn't until he saw my bloodshot eyes when i explained a relationship didn't go as planned and he asked well who and i explained you and he was shocked. We only hung out couple times never did much because he was busy helping people get their cards.

Now mike, i didn't meet him until he started using the gas station by the apartments i use to live at apparently he was apart of a biker group or whatever you call it. I guess it was located down the road from me. That's when i really stopped leaving my house. Transferred to online school because leaving my house isn't safe, not when i had people facebooking me death threats. I didn't officially meet him until prime fest, i was leaving the concert and i saw him with his club dudes i guess you can call them. I saw him and yes, i walked up to them, i had to. I got beat over someone i didn't sleep with i HAD to look them in the face, and his buddy talked to me, as questions, asked what my name was and i didnt want mike to realize it was me so the best fake name i could up with was Olive, i slapped myself inside my head for that. But i had to meet the guy who apparently you thought was better than you. Alls i can say is honestly, he is no way attractive nor a guy id wanna hang with the idea of him being a biker guy is too intimidating enough. Let alone he towers over me.

Lastly,I want to say i'm sorry. I'm sorry i wasn't what we were suppose to be, i'm sorry i could save you, save us, or even save the baby. I'm sorry i didn't stay motivated to finish school or get a job, i just gave up when i moved into your moms. I'm sorry i made decisions in the beginning that were selfish and made you go over the edge. But more importantly, i forgive you, i forgive you not for you but for myself because without forgiveness i'll never be able to spread my wings and grow, i'll never seize the moment because i'll be stuck in fear of what could happen. I hope you learn to forgive me so you can grow and become a better you for your future wife because everyone deserves love. I just pray you become more wise and learn to control yourself, to stop blaming other for your actions, i pray you stay medicated because you shouldn't hear 7 different voices in your head.

But dont think ill forget the love once had, the showers we had, you slipping and almost busting your ass, the Vons Market munchie run, I'll never forget our rooftop blunts and vents or how demon was there for me. But the main reason i'm writing this because i'm closing the door to our horrided story. Im done letting it cower over me, i'm closing every existence to what was us, im letting beauty die.

So this is it Vincent.

My goodbye.

It's better to have been loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Sincerely,