#i dont know how to categorize him but
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"LIGHTS! CAMERA! ACTION!"
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Actor, Performer, Singer, and Visionary, Johnny Stardust is the most famous of the actors in Desert's Edge. Known for his lead roles in stageplays and dramatic shows, Johnny sports a different mask for each one. Having an interest with technology and mask making, Stardust brings nothing but the best to his works. Without the charisma and charm, he is arrogant, smug and short tempered.
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(Side note: this character in particular also serves as a fan rendition for IEYTD John Juniper ((in an IEYTD AU)) But they are STILL an oc)
#benny's art#oc: johnny stardust#my art#ieytd#ieytd2#john juniper#i dont know how to categorize him but#he's like simultaneously both an oc and interpretation of a canon character
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oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it
as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)
first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))
a few fav scenes
emotional support cwab
they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.
papery critter.
even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)
and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3
i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.
so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and
[
several hours later ...
]
oh
oh man
it's a little bigger than i expected
<next>
#--/ art#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#Minecraft bed#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#me when the project that obviously wasn't going to be done in one night isn't done in one night: D: !?!?!?!?#kudos to whoever routed the Speedrun actual short because that one is so fun and clean and savvy#clever made up time-savers? includes orange's TNT shield-jump?? nonlethal dragon dispatch??? sweet#ithink you can see where i tried to head with this#turns out that turning up the complexity 98 notches higher makes things trickier to parse hmmmmmm?#in fact i might need some help with this one ;>v>' like a lot.#i had a bit of a story and route set up already i just... wanted to make sure everything was at least kinda there...................#we'll see#the pie joke. i was trying to categorize which foodstuffs chosen should be able to make on the fly. with their flame hands.#ex. cooking meats makes sense because flint and steel works for the same purpose (you can kill a burning animal to get cooked meats)#but baking bread or drying kelp seems way more involved or whatever -> needs a proper furnace environment#HOWEVER... i noticed that Steve can just summon pumpkin pies from his bare hands if he wants to without even a workbench. so. sure! lol.#this is scraping the surface of the minutiae i want to consider#(ALSO KUDOS to everyone who RUNS/works on all-advancements. of course. riding on your shoulders here)#final joke is that chosen didn't know how crazy this undertaking would be to learn#but dark is very literally programmable. so you could maybe just plug some TAS instructions into him and off he goes#or even more open-ended than that just give him the list of advancements + stipulations + the wiki and similar result#it'd get done but. i dont think he'd find that fun at all. prefers to write his own instructions if you see what i mean#i might be forgetting some context. it is rather late you see. please ask me questions about this! ;P#tco aa
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A himbo, as promised
This look is what happens when you try to be Y2K but youve only ever seen Earth in vintage tourism brochures
#i thought that one CAS challenge with harajuku fashion was hard...#girl i do not understand y2k at ALL i am looking at all these refs trying to connect the dots and not finding a single fucking dot#some of its grunge. some of its techwear. some of its just random shit#HOW are people categorizing this stuff how does it all fit together i dont understand...#so anyway all that to say i leaned hard on some staples and then felt self conscious and tacked accessories on#which i KNOW makes it further from the Look but it covers up the insecurity 👍#i might go back and re-style him one day bc he looked good in a LOT of stuff#and id love to explore what i mightve put him in if not doing a challenge.#hes lovely!#and his eyes are grey i PROMISE hes just got those swag shades on so you cant really tell :/#simoleon#my kiddos
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Danny isn't a twink or a bear or otter or anything he's a secret nth thing (goat)
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if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then 😭 one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me 😭😭😭😭😭 what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
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guys i genuinely don't know what to do. my quirky little destiel fic which was already far too long to begin with now has a second smaller fic nested inside of it and somehow the second smaller fic is the absolute crackfest of this supernatural/tazamnesty crossover where dean lowkey hooks up with barclay the bigfoot and i don't KNOW what to DO. do i cut the scene. do i post it separately. do i post it separately but ALSO leave it in the fic. do i just pretend like barclay is an OC i made up and all the references to the fictional town of kepler west virginia are incidental. WHAT IS THE MOVE HERE
#stuff#THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT THIS IS NOT WHAT I PLANNED#i think that i have no choice but to post the dean/barclay section separately as its own thing#because i don't want to tag the destiel fic as a whole as being a taz crossover when it's relaly just the one scene#but i don't want the very small niche audience of spn/tazamnesty crossover enjoyers to miss out on this goofy little thing#mostly for categorization purposes. they need to be separate#BUT THEN WHAT DO I DO ABOUT THAT SCENE IN THE ORIGINAL FIC#it was supposed to be like a 'oh dean's a repressed bisexual how can we unrepress him I Know let's give him a hot stranger man'#'and see what he does'#but then i had too mjuch fun and the hot stranger became bigfoot and i can't go back but i dont want to have to write this shit AGAIN#i get very bored writing sexuality crisis/internal sexuality realization scenes#like ughhhh just be cool with it who cares#this one was only fun because it was dean and BARCLAY TAZAMNESTY#and i cant do that shit again#you know what would be even fucking FUNNIER but would never happen#god. i can't do this. but dean/duck newton would be so funny just sosososo funny#the strong desire to write a legitimate tazamnesty/spn crossover case fic type deal is slowly taking over me#i need to be free#of my MIND PRISON#i'm going to watch jane the virgin. DON'T text.
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s4 zam + 5, 7, and 15? :D
ask game!
HE;LO YES YES OK!!
5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?
this is TIED i think of two songs right away when i think of s4 zam
( The Haunting Presence by Giles Corey ; im giving a WARNING with this one the ending is. a lot. especially with the context of it [that being it's basically a recording of the song artist's attempted suicide] anything beyond the six minute mark be aware! it's very jarring and loud but this song immediately comes to mind when i think of s4 zam and. i think this says a lot about my perception of him. 👍 consider this my warning i love this album & song in particular but it is NOT for everyone )
( Hierophant by King Woman ; you'll notice both of these songs are LONG [both around 7 minutes if my memory is right] and that's something that just. it's the thing i associate with s4 zam. it's long and drawn out until it collapses. )
7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?
honestly i cant really think of specific things, i love the imagery they've tied to him? i love whoever it was that started moth zam because i am never returning from learning about that he is intertwined with moths forever in my head.
15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)
i will be so honest i dont have a favorite? i mean ive established im a poly eclipse federation enjoyer but i think he just needs more reasons to be torn apart 👍 ships for s4 zam are with the sole purpose of being sunk for more angst to me PVDFDHNJK
#ask a ghost#asker: clingyduofan#SORRY ABT HOW LONG THE NOTES ABT THE SONGS ARE#i wanted to give a fair warning because i know that the first time i listened to the first song in particular i was unaware what i was#getting into and it was a really bad experience 👍 i love the song a lot and i think abt it a lot in reference to zam in particular#the lyrics are really fitting for s4 zam? especially given everything that happens.#ALSO s4 zam has such weird relationships with people that i dont categorize anything as real ships with him its just. bizarre.#i know canon is there but i live in my little world where there is no distinguishing between devotion to death and romance
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juli is a much more hard character to think in terms of relationships because, if you ask me personally, contrary to kazeki in which the gilbert and serge interact transform each other, their judgements of the other, their presence in the story etc in more or less equal proportions are for themselves the main motor of the narrative, while juli's arc alone overtakes so much of TnS'. like juli's and eric's *relationship* serves in function of juli's arc, but they very well resolved separate from the other.
#txt#like eric's interactions w juli dont change in almost any way his relationship with god so much as in *thomas* did *through*#eric. as an example. yeah juli and eric do grow closer and eric gets to understand and empathize w juli's conditions#but the opposite is not true all that much (may be misremembering) like oscar may have been more important relative#to eric's conflict than juli was. eric is to juli's narrative a vehicle or a physical medium through which to process his grief#his feelings of affection to thomas. the emotional implication of being observed (the judgement of god. expectations of correctness form#family and by extention society. 'being known' and thus being despised or in change worthy of love and all that)#but like all that has less to do with how people or god by that means *actually* percieve him but how he himself does#like him feeling unworthy of gods love or to love is not bc god said it to him in a dream or anyone saying he is bc of being SA'd#by the fact he told practically nobody. and you can argue the weight of homosexuality and how it permeates in all of this.#thomas stance on juli even is categorically loving and unconditional. but as long as it's not juli that allows to be understood#ie engage w the mutal and vulnerating dinamics that *any* sort of relationship entails then he doesnt progress in his arc.#so *allowing* forming genuine relationships to reach self acceptance > the specific character of the person in the relationship#or something like that.#so in those ways is that i say his conflict and not so much like. the origin or manifestation bc their personalities change them#fundamentally. to gilbert's but gilbert and serge's relationship WITH EACHOTHER has as much if not more relevance as their individual#characters. while juli's more introverted (not shy) and well thomas is dead and god has a not-presence so that's. a lively social circle#i guess. oscar and him know not to interfere seriously with the other and so on and so forth.#and it's not like that wildly changed even after his arc lol.
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Hey there ^_^ This idea has been eating away my brain for a good while now and you're the only male writer I know, UGH I LOVE YOU
May I please have your headcanons on how Daryl would be like with a metalhead bf who's really intimidating and looks like he came straight outta hell but is actually super sensitive and sweet? Such as first impressions, how Daryl feels about his kindness, etc.
Thank you!! Xx
daryl & his metalhead.
note: honestly had to do a lil research beforehand bc i dont wanna do any metalheads wrong😭 AND HOPEFULLY I DIDNT!! 😕 lmk (n ilyt)
daryl sees you and automatically assumes youre the quiet type- a lone wolf even. you dressed in dark colors and occasionally band tees(which he had no clue of), towered over almost everyone, wore your dark hair long, and didnt warm up to many people. he doesnt go out of his way to talk to you, until youve come up to him.
"y'wanna go on a run with me?" hes staring up at you in disbelief, turning his head left and right in search of backup. youve practically cornered him on the streets of alexandria, big pleading eyes staring at him.
"yeah!" youre nodding a bit too enthusiastically for his liking, "its just... im looking for some parts. my guitars broken, so. but i wont be in the way, i promise!"
he scoffs, and doesnt believe you for a second. but the next morning, hes taken you and one car.
he realizes that every assumption hes made about you is 100% wrong. hes always categorized you as emo in his head, but you were quick to inform him the differences between being emo and being a metalhead. hes quiet for most of the ride, but surprisingly asks you a few questions here and there. his second assumption is that you were quiet. jesus, you could talk his ear off. but in a good way he thinks.
the run is unsuccessful, but daryl gifts you a little pin with a guitar on it. youre enveloping him in a hug, and hes reluctant to return it.
back at home, he pays more attention to you. he gets defensive whenever someone makes a judgmental remark about you, claiming that you're different than what everyone thinks. carol teases him about it: "didnt realize you knew him so well." and yeah. maybe he did. maybe he wanted to. "so what?"
he finds himself coming around to your house more often, letting you teach him how to make dinner and listen to you play(he found your missing part on a run with rick). he enjoys it more than he thought he would, and you joke around and say hes halfway to being a metalhead like you.
"youve already got the hair down." hes sat down at the couch, and youre coming around to sit next to him, a hand reaching out to feel his hair. "we're basically twins."
he huffs, turning away to hide his blush. "it aint like that. just grew out over time."
"well good. i like it."
hes grown attached to you, always spending his free time with you. that also means hes grown protective of you. he constantly lectures you on how you shouldnt just let people say whatever they wanted about you- and that if you wouldnt step up, he will.
you take in a stray cat, and daryl practically has a heart attack seeing how gentle you are with it, pampering it and laying it against daryls chest.
he lets you do stupid shit to him all the time, like dress him up in your clothes or do some light makeup on him. to show your appreciation, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. he freaks the fuck out and has to get carols advice.
your first kiss is all thanks to your lighter: its just you two outside the walls, and hes forgotten his own. youre leaning in close, the fire right underneath the cigarette. your hand is quick to steal it from his mouth, fingers brushing against his mouth. before you can blow the smoke out, hes on his tippy toes and leaning in. the way the smoke blows into his own mouth is the hottest thing youve ever seen.
hopefully didnt butcher this🤞🤞 btw this is such a cute idea im in love
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x male reader#darylxmalereader#kissesfordaryl#the walking dead#daryl dixon imagines#the walking dead daryl#twd daryl#daryl dixon drabbles#bottom daryl dixon
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you write for so many characters that I absolutely adore oml.
Could you write some kind of Alastor x new-to-hell reader? (I feel like this would be really interesting :3)
Also since I'm likely gonna be putting in a lot of reqs I'm claiming an Emoji (🖋 <- this one) so you know which anon this is teehee
-🖋
♡A/N: RAAAAAAA HELLO I KNOW YOU GFYFGG im glad you found my blog!!! I also made sure to make this on this specific day for you,,, ♡
Masterlist
Rules
Alastor x New Sinner Reader!
Tw: mentions of death and murder, and of stalking
• okay, the fact you manage to catch the eye of NONE OTHER than the famous and feared Radio Demon is beyond believable
• your new, you must have done something to become his intrest. I dont think he will just pluck you out of the streets as soon as you spawned because he wanted to
• maybe you found yourself in the middle of a turf war or spawned while he and some other demon were in a battle. Maybe you killed another demon on pure accident. And maybe, due to him working with Charlie, maybe he decided not to kill you instantly and offered you the hotel. Since you are new, perhapse you wanted redemption? Hell knows that charlie would be ecstatic to have a new member!
• so, you go with Alastor to the hotel! Meeting an overjoyed Charlie and the rest of the crew!
• though, Alastor kept his eyes on you. Your new, he couldnt have a new member of the hotel accidently step into a war of some sorts and have yourself killed the moment he looks away.
• so, you being as clueless as you are, Alastor reluctantly decided he was going to teach you what to do and not to do in hell! Charlie thought it was a wonderful idea, finding it unbelievable that Alastor was the one to come up with the idea AND go along with it
• so, Alastor would take you out of the hotel and teach you certain things, like how to categorize lower level demons and higher ranking demons, how to protect yourself while walking the street from others who want to harm you
• "no no, you go for the heart, thats the liver"
• after you manage to learn alot from Alastor! Suprisingly, he is quiet a good teacher! But, instead of leaving you to yourself, he would be found occasionally hanging around you
• others would take notice how they always were able to find Alastor wherever you are, and when confronted about it, he would completely shoot down their question and change the subject
• Alastor thought you needed more protection. Though he did teach yoi how to take care of yourself, he still found a need to watch over you, to protect you. A worm of worry that wiggled in his chest when he cant spot you in the hotel.
• Alastor dosnt bring you along to his meetings, to keep his reputation and to protect you from certain eyes. If you are with the Radio Demon, then you have a bigger target on your head
• though, he does sometimes take you to his visits with Rosie!
• she adores you, finding you the cutest little thing. She sure was suprise to find a new sinner with Alastor, and one Alastor was so protective over, but she left it be, finding you precious and telling you stores from her time while sharing tea.
• though, a few of the staff of the hotel were,,, concerned for you. Husk especially. Having the Radio Demon on your back was certainly something new and worrying to him. Maybe he got you under contract, too. When he asked you about it, you shrugged it off and smiled like you hadnt even noticed! It baffled him, and how your mood didnt seem to dim when Alastor came around to check up on you.
• Vox, well, lets just say he may or may not have been the first overlord to actually notice you and your presence with Alastor. He has camaras everywhere, especially hidden outside of the hotel, he dosnt miss anything. So when he realized that the Radio demon was being friendly with a someone new he was not a happy camper
• he ended up confronting Alastor about it during their next meeting. And the way he quickly shut up apon noticing Alastors mood shift when you were mentioned had him traumatized. Velvet had to help him fix his screen after that
• Alastor is quite protective over you, even if you dont realize it, he has one of his little weird minions keeping an eye on you at all times when he isnt there, just to make sure you dont do something stupid.
-EXTRA-
• if you, instead of being a weak newcomer, started making a name for yourself withoit wasting any time, maybe killing off demons left and right or taking down a few overlords, you definitely have his attention
• you remind him of his old new sinner self, so he happily makes his presence known to you, and openly offers to guide you to make a name for yourself like he did
• he would show you how to take down even the most powerful overlords, collect souls to feed your power, and even how to keep your clothes from getting messy after killing so many!
• you are much like his apprentice. Following him wherever he goes and listening to him teach you about something.
• if you become powerful like him, you two become a quick and good duo! Both pf you being feared!
• though, he still makes sure you dont hurt yourself. No matter how powerful you have become, he makes sure you dont slip up and hurt yourself, or let someone hurt you. <3
#reader insert#x reader#gender neutral reader#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin x reader#hazbin alastor#i tried i promise#he is new for me GIVE ME A BREAK#Hazbin Hotel Zone
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hmmm let me make it clear, since i HAVE said some things in the past i dont agree with anymore (nothing brought this up btw just me brain)
THESE ARE ALL MY OWN OPINIONS !!!! NOT CANON OR FACT OR CONFIRMED TRUTHS
i dont think astarion is inherently evil. i said this before i really delved into the game and its options myself but now i think hes. just my lil bug. like he literally had his empathy tortured out of him lol
i think astarion falls in love well before act iii, at least halfway into act ii. i think he feels a Lot of New feelings he doesnt know how to categorize and so it takes him a hot minute to realize. he literally says that his partner is the one who made him learn how to love again. also he craves attention but now he’s receiving a type of attention that is much more genuine and not something hes had
i think astarion is kinder than most think. however, if being cruel/lying is funnier, he’s gotta commit to the bit.
i think aa feels empty, but he still holds some sort of affection for his beloved. but i think it becomes a relationship based on a power dynamic that i think emphasizes his deepest fears
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if i ever were going to write a 'member of kimcom travels back in time to meet pre-scenarios kim dokja' i would do it with han sooyoung (1864th han sooyoung specifically, 1863rd already did that) because her dynamic with kim dokja mainly involves them being fucking bitches to each other and i dont know if pre-scenarios kim dokja has that bite to him yet.
he doesn't have the confidence that comes from his twsa knowledge finally being useful, and his main response to any kind of opposition seems to be fantasizing about being yoo joonghyuk inwardly while completely shutting down outwardly. maybe if han sooyoung revealed she was that plagarist he always argued online with it would be different, but i really do think his instinctive reactions to han sooyoung's affectionate bullying, as well as the difference in their (percieved) power dynamic would change how they interact at least intially
i also think it would be really fun to try and see how kim dokja would categorize her as a 'character' like he does with all the other people in his life - he doesn't really get the chance to in the apocalypse, given he instead thinks of her as 'the only real one', but what role would pre-scenarios kim dokja give this strange, rich woman who's crashed into his life insisting that they're best friends?
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our young nation
wilbur soot x gn! reader (note: pronouns are gn but reader is afab)
TWs: WAR, DEPICTIONS OF WOUNDS, BIRTH, PREGNANCY, ONE LINE ABT PERIODS, TALKS OF ILLNESS, MENTIONS OF DYING, SEMI-REALISTIC APPROACH TO WAR
word count: 10.7k
note: this has not been edited at all. i dont know a lot about war, but i do know hamilton and mockingjay, so. theres that. there's a playlist for this fic as well if you want to listen to what i listened to (also if this formats weirdly lmk and ill post it on ao3). have fun reading :) title is taken from dear theodosia from hamilton fic playlist
taglist: @l0veb0mb1ng / @core-queen / @zooone / @melunnek
Doing new things was never easy. There were always some hiccups, some strifes, some things that just kept new things from working out just as perfectly as you’d hoped. Not all these hiccups were bad per se, but they were there. Occam’s razor be damned, sometimes things are harder than they are easier.
Those hiccups might be the death of one Wilbur Soot. Mostly because, in this case, the things occurring lean far more toward the “strife” category than the “hiccup” category.
Literally.
The newness of his formed country was refreshing, L’Manburg was already growing to become a beautiful nation, just from the camaraderie seen within its walls. But the beauty of their forming country was contrasted by the growing issues of war and hardships afflicting his citizens.
So yes, war was hard. New things were hard, but they were often necessary and they often brought new, better things.
And then, of course, there was the flickering candle light in the middle of the destitute tunnel that categorized war: Love.
You weren’t originally planning to be involved in the war at all. When Wilbur had come to your door, asking about volunteering for the war, you’d politely turned him down. You made it very clear how much you supported the war efforts, and how, though you couldn’t fight, you’d be willing to help out the war efforts in any way you could.
Wilbur gave you a charming smile and let you know that your support was greatly appreciated.
Which was how you became his aid. For the leader of the rebellion, he was rather disorganized, in a literal sense, seen in the numerous papers and half-finished rations littering his desk, as well as a figurative sense, with the desk becoming a mirror image of his own mind. You helped clear the scatter, in both senses. When he’d pass out writing his pages and pages on new injustices committed by the Greater SMP, you’d be there to save his place and clear the desk.
Eventually, you were able to do far more than just clear the desk; you were able to clear his mind.
It started in conversations, when he’d ask questions aloud to himself without realizing you were in the room.
“… and the infractions pushed upon us by the members of the Greater SMP have found my people destitute, destroyed, and… deprived? No, not deprived-“
“Disregarded?” You spoke up from your place standing next to him, where you’d been carefully sorting through old unfinished drafts of his own works.
“Disregarded?” He looked up at you, giving you a flash of a smile, “Do you feel disregarded by the Greater SMP, Y/N?”
You flushed a bit under his gaze. You hadn’t actually meant to offer the word, but it had slipped out before you could stop it, “Yes.”
His smile underwent a simple change, one you’d noticed after observing his speeches and public appearances. His smile went from congressional — purely political and for show — to harboring a sense of community. It was the smile he used when he asked for volunteers. It was the smile he used when he asked people for their grievances. It was the smile he used when he listened to his citizens. It was a smile that could make you feel safe, make you feel heard. “How so? In what ways do you feel disregarded by the Greater SMP, Y/N?” He asked. It was subtle, the way he tried to say people’s names as often as possible when he spoke to them. There was something in it you recognized; a urge to get the person on your good side and the need to be liked.
You honestly couldn’t place the words that escaped you next. You had never been particularly political, but there was something about Wilbur Soot that demanded elegance and intelligence, and you felt yourself falling into line with easy compliance.
“Well, I feel disregarded in the way they command us. They have hurt our people numerous times without giving a second thought, yet they praise kindness and claim to want a peaceful end to this fighting. I feel disregarded in the fact that they claim to understand us, yet they have never spoken to me, let alone the majority of our citizens. I feel disregarded because they don’t even know my name, yet they have burned down my land. I feel disregarded because they refuse to listen to our grievances,” you took a breath as you continued, setting down the pages you’d been shuffling through. “I feel disregarded because even before the war, they did not respect us. I feel disregarded in the ways that they would bring us into their conflicts while they sat there. And most of all, I feel disregarded in the ways they have hurt my people without a care in the world, as if our lives do not matter.”
There was a moment of silence when you’d finished, and you looked back to see the leader of the rebellion giving you a look that you had never seen before upon his face: adoration. His smile fell into something softer, one that you’d seen only in short bursts, reserved for quiet moments Wilbur shared with himself in dark nights alone when he’d finished a piece he was proud of.
“Well, then,” he smiled at you genuinely, and it was the most gorgeous thing you’d ever seen. “Disregarded, it is.”
From there, you went from being his aid to his advisor, helping him hone his perfectly crafted speeches. You helped clear his mind. His air of regality as leader of the rebellion kept people from feeling comfortable reaching him, yet you shared none of that sense of bravado. You didn’t want to. People came to you, told you about how they felt as citizens, and it was the biggest help to Wilbur, who no longer felt like he was grasping at straws to make sure his citizens were being heard.
Throughout it all, the best thing you offered Wilbur was not your mind, but rather your company.
There were a lot of long nights that Wilbur was used to braving alone, and yet now, you were there to provide him companionship and cure the thoughts that plagued his mind about the future of the war. Wilbur loved watching your mind work on these nights. He would throw up a question into the air, something simple and philosophical, and he would watch as you’d chip away at the question and his subsequent arguments to your own positions. In any other case, it’d have been annoying, but for the both of you, it was akin to mental exercises, a game the two of you shared to keep sharp. It made for a kind distraction over the sounds of silence that plagued empty battlefields still wet with blood.
These nights were also some of the only nights you’d be able to get Wilbur to take care of himself. Usually, it was after a glass of wine softened him up enough for you to convince him to finish his rations. He had a habit of leaving half, just in case someone else needed something, and he’d been hungrier before so he was sure he could brave it. These were the nights when he’d finally let his wounds show.
Every battle, regardless of how bad off he was, he would hide any wounds that he couldn’t personally classify as fatal. And he would continue hiding them until they faded, though they never fully did. He always cared so much about appearances, how he needed to look pristine and confident to keep morales high.
But he didn’t care about that with you. With you, he cared about wit and vulnerability, despite the two having always fallen on opposite doorsteps in his persona. So he’d take off his uniform, leaving him in a simple white undershirt and the slightly baggy black pants he wore underneath. It was the biggest form of physical vulnerability he’d allowed himself in years, and you never overstepped. You’d ignore the bruises and scars littering his arms and faintly poking out from the collar of his undershirt.
But veiled ignorance could only last so long, and your own care for the man overtook any sense of social conventions.
“Wilbur,” you looked at him abruptly. You’d been sharing a bottle of wine like you often ended up doing these nights that neither of you could sleep. With each sip, you feel your mind grow anxious at what you’d noticed. Right when he’d taken this uniform shirt off, you quickly noticed the slash in his bicep, crusted with blood and dirt. And while you planned to ignore it like usual, usually he’d at least have cleaned the wound before, and you couldn’t ignore how clearly unattended this wound was. “Did you visit the medic after today’s battle?”
Wilbur snorted into his glass of wine as he took another sip, “No. No, I did not.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he started simply, “they had far more pressing matters.”
You didn’t see the battles. You’d be on the sidelines, with prepared speeches for Wilbur to give in case of any major developments. You always had to be ready, but it came at the consequence of never knowing what truly happened on the battlefield. Wilbur never liked to recount it either, only sharing essential information to save you from hearing about the ways your people were injured.
But tonight, you wanted to know. His safety was something that concerned you, and if it was so bad that he would threaten his safety, you needed to know. “What was it like today?” You asked quietly, standing as you spoke.
He watched you as you flitted around the room, pacing the floorboards languidly. “I told you. We lost, but we were able to leave a-“
“No, I know what you told me. ‘The battle was lost, but there were effects put into motion that will be able to help us in the long run.’ I know that. I meant- the- the other stuff, those ‘more pressing matters’ that the nurses had. Stuff like that.” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the word ‘casualties’ so casually, as if it was not one of your neighbor’s lives your were pushing into a single word.
He frowned, “I don’t- I really don’t think-“
“Tell me, Wilbur. I need to know.”
Wilbur sighed slowly, nodding, “Everyone was injured. Some of us less so than others. It… it was Eret. Eret betrayed us, so they knew where we were, they knew we’d be unprepared. It’s better that it’s now, so early in the war, that the traitor is gone now, but… it was at a heavy expense. All of my friends, the ones I dragged into this, they- some of them are still there, in the infirmary. Tubbo nearly died. He-“ Wilbur took in a breath, shuddering, “They said he’ll be okay, but if he was hit any higher, they would’ve punctured his rib, and we would’ve lost him. And- I- We almost lost my brother. Tommy, he-“ there were tears in Wilbur’s eyes as he recounted it, “he took a knife straight to the shoulder. For me. He pushed me out of the way. And it was so close, if he’d been a second earlier, it would’ve gone through his heart.” Wilbur was crying now. It was the first time you’d seen him this vulnerable, this affected by what he’d seen. The horrors that plagued his vision every time he’d close his eyes, yet he closes his eyes now, as he speaks, as if he would find some epiphany lying behind them and not the images of his brother and his brother’s best friend clinging to life.
“I- I couldn’t visit the medic after that. For this?” He gestured to the slash on his arm, “It felt unworthy of their attention when so many had nearly lost it all.”
He was still crying, his eyes pressed tightly together as if doing so would click some button to erase the memories of what he’d seen on the battlefield. You moved forward, pressing his head into your stomach and wrapping your arms around him gently. He cried against you, soft and shuddering as if his body was still afraid to acknowledge or speak about what he’d seen.
“I- I watched someone die. Someone on our side, I-“ he sobbed softly, “I held him as his breathing faded. His last words, he-“ Wilbur buried his face further against you, “He told me ‘Wilbur, make it worth it. If this is it for me, do not let it be in vain. Free our country and win.’” Wilbur panted quietly as he let the final words of a fellow solider fade into the quiet of the night. “I just- I can’t let him down. I let a man die for my cause. His blood is on my hands. And Y/N… it doesn’t look good right now. I know I said Eret’s betrayal is good for the future since the traitor is gone, but I- I don’t know what he knows. He could guide them back here tomorrow and slaughter us all in our sleep. So I- I don’t know what to do. I can’t let our people down, they- they didn’t ask for this. I keep- I keep wondering if I just should’ve kept quiet. If we could’ve been happy just living under SMP’s rule.” His admission did not escape him easily, echos of gasping sobs filling the room as he clung onto the fabric of your shirt. Neither of you spoke at first, letting his tears slow to a near stop in order to help him preserve the fragility of his mind.
“Wilbur,” you spoke softly once you felt the moment was right, “No one was happy before. You cannot fault yourself for giving us a chance. I know you feel responsible for the bloodshed, and I know how it makes you feel like you’re clinging onto some shadow of death that follows you. But if you were the only one who wanted freedom for our country, there would be no rebellion. You’d just be another man standing on the end of a street, searching for someone to listen to you. We support this cause because we not only believe in the importance of our freedom, but because we believe in you, Wilbur. We cannot have our leader be made a martyr because where would that leave us? This cause would fall apart without you. And I know you are afraid, but we are all afraid. You are allowed to be afraid of uncertainty. Your people are putting their lives on the line’s because the believe the end, even their ends, will justify the means. You cannot consider falling back onto your fears now. I’m so sorry for what you saw. I know how horrifying it must’ve been. But that man let you hold him as he died, you brought him comfort in those final moments because you promised a better future for his family, his people. You have inspired people, Wilbur. You inspired me. You took a single thought, an idea, and you turned it into something real, something tangible, a cause that we not only believe in, but one that we fight for, and we will continue to fight for.” You let out a soft sigh, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the crown of his head, “Wilbur, I know you feel like the world is crumbling around you because of how scary everything is right now. But you are not alone. If your world is crumbling, it is crumbling for me too?” you sighed once more, “this is all just a long winded way for me to ask, Wilbur, please, will you let me patch your wound?”
He didn’t reply to any specific part of your response, just giving a curt nod and lowering his arms. You both knew that you didn’t just mean the wound on his arm, but that you were attempting to reach out and help him patch the rifts in his mind.
You grabbed the spare first aid kit, returning to your place in front of him as you set down the kit.
“It’s really not that bad,” he sighed, and you rolled your eyes.
“Wilbur, I have always trusted your judgement for everything, but I think we have finally found the exception,” you chuckled softly, gently taking his arm in your hands to inspect the wound. It definitely wasn’t a pretty sight, but it could certainly be worse.
“Really? This marks the exception? Not the hundreds of times I’ve asked you if something sounds right or if people would agree with something I’ve said?”
You nodded, taking a cotton ball and soaking it in alcohol, “Yep, this is it. Uncertainty is not having bad judgement, it’s just the acknowledgement that you can’t do things alone. Which is true, none of us can.” You smiled lightly, pressing the cotton to his arm to clean the wound.
He hissed softly in pain as you cleaned the wound, speaking only once you’d finished, “I can’t,” he spoke quietly. “I can’t do things alone. I’m very grateful to have you.”
You felt a flush rise to your cheeks as you reached for a salve to spread onto his wound. “I’m grateful as well. You keep me stable with all this craziness going on.”
He watched as you opened the salve, getting a generous amount onto your fingers to lightly spread over the slash, “I can say the same. I would’ve fallen into disarray by now without you.”
Your flush darkened, and you started to wrap his arm quietly. You didn’t speak until you’d finished wrapping his arm completely.
“There,” you spoke softly, tying off the bandage, “Now, you won’t get an infection and fall ill. Goodness knows we don’t have the medicine for preventable illness anyways,” you chuckled, trying to make light of things.
Wilbur smiled as well, but he seemed a bit further in thought. You grabbed the kit once more and went to return it to its place, but Wilbur’s hand wrapped lightly around your wrist and kept you from turning.
“Wilbur?” you asked softly.
“I-” he had a flush on his cheek, and there was a beat of waiting before he finally looked up at you. He had a look filled with adoration and appreciation. But there was something else in his gaze, something softer. More warm. Something you would come to know as love.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked softly, his thumb lightly caressing where it rested on your wrist.
You had to refrain from gaping at him as you processed his question. You had always found the rebel attractive, but you’d never considered the legitimacy of pursuing a relationship with a man who seemed far out of your league. With bated breath you nodded, and he leaned up to pull you into him.
The kiss felt far more gentle than it should have. For all the desperation and wanting that lived within it, the kiss was soft and slow, familiarizing one another with each crack in our lips. It didn’t develop further, there was no rapid increasing of intensity, the kiss remained as gentle as the glow from the candles around the room until you pulled away slowly.
You both stared at one another for a long moment, attempting to memorize each freckle and blemish that adored war-torn faces. He was the one to speak up first.
“Y/N? Would you stay with me? Just for tonight?”
You nodded your agreement, and you both shared a mutual understanding in the lie he allowed spill from his lips.
As the war continued, you found yourself making a permanent residence in Wilbur’s bed and home. The war was taking longer than anyone expected, a double-edged sword in the how our troops still lived, yet so did Greater SMP’s. Morale was low for everyone, but you kept your spirits high in fire-warmed rooms in Wilbur’s arms.
“Do you think our people need something to boost their spirits?” He’d asked one day, your head resting on his chest and a hand loosely playing with your hair.
“Hm,” you thought, looking up at him, “I think it would be good, yeah. What are you thinking? A festival?”
He hummed, and as you inspected his face, you noticed the nerves lining his expression. It wasn’t an uncommon sight these days, his worries about the war leeching into every moment of the day. But usually, the anxiousness was far more faded by this time of night, even if it never fully left his gaze.
“Not a festival,” he spoke, shifting and reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small black box, speaking softer, “I was thinking a wedding.”
You sat up, gasping softly, “Will-”
“I was going to wait until after the war,” he spoke, sitting up across from you. “But I’m terrified that I won’t get to. I’d rather die knowing you were mine than knowing I never got to at least ask you.”
“Wilbur,” you grabbed onto both of his cheeks, pulling him into a deep and loving kiss. You understood where his fears came from, and you would be lying if you didn’t admit that you shared in the same sentiment. Every day that the troops returned, your heart waited to beat in fear until you saw his face. You didn’t want to wait either.
You pulled away, wrapping arms tightly around his neck as you rested your forehead against his.
“Is that a yes, then?” He asked, a grin ghosting over his lips.
You laughed, holding onto him tighter, “Yes, Wilbur, absolutely.”
He laughed as well, his arms coming to wrap tightly around you. He kissed the side of your head as he spoke, “We- it probably won’t get to be a big wedding because we’re so low on resources, but if you want something big, we can absolutely have a second ceremony after, and-”
“Wilbur, our wedding could be in a mud field in our pajamas with a chicken, and I would still be satisfied. All that matters to me is being able to call you mine forever.”
He gave you a grin like you hung the stars in the sky before pulling you in for a loving kiss and putting a small ring onto your finger.
The wedding planning went over quickly. You weren’t planning anything fancy whatsoever, but it still needed to be enough of an event for your people to have time to relax. Everyone wanted to help out as well. Once you woke up the next morning after Wilbur’s proposal, it seemed as if the whole country knew already, with people coming to congratulate you and Wilbur as you both walked through town. Just the sense of community in everyone’s offering to help out with the wedding seemed to brighten everyone throughout the country.
You and Wilbur actually had two ceremonies. The first one was for the two of you and your families, a small dinner and ceremony to allow you to have an intimate and private wedding. It was gorgeous, and so incredibly worth it. The second one was the ceremony for the people. It wasn’t a lavish affair, though your wedding attire was some of the most beautiful things either of you had seen in months. It was a subdued wedding, but it was making the most out of what you had. Lots of fresh cut flowers from the countryside, Niki baked a cake, and a real, full meal made for everyone.
You felt tense in your fancy wedding outfit. Even if it wasn’t the height of luxury, it felt more stiff than anything else you’d worn in months. But there was a point to all of it. It was an event, something for people to care about. Something to get on their minds instead of residual fear about the next battle. You were glad for private affair you’d been able to have the night before, because this felt more like playing the role of the Leader’s Partner rather than actually being his partner.
“Hey,” you heard softly from behind you, turning as you watched Wilbur sneak in. He paused when he saw you, staring in awe. “You look so lovely,” he smiled, walking over to you and taking your hands in his.
“I could say the same about you,” you smiled, pulling him forward for a short kiss. “You ready to get betrothed a second time?”
He laughed, holding you a bit closer, “I am. I’d marry you every day if I could.”
You smiled shyly up at him, moving to wrap your arms around him and hug him tightly, “I love you so much.”
He kissed the top of your head, smiling, “I love you too, darling.”
You sighed and relaxed into the hug, letting your eyes slip shut. You moved your hands down to his sides, frowning when you felt a small box in his pocket.
“Wilbur,” you started, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the small box of cigarettes, “What are you doing with these?”
He frowned, a shameful look on his face, “I haven’t smoked any, don’t worry. I’m just- I’m anxious, so I got them in case.”
You nodded, biting your lip with a frown, “If you’re anxious, you know you can come to me.”
“I know, I know, I just-” he sighed, “I’m anxious about you, is the thing.”
You frowned, setting the cigarettes down on the table behind you, “What do you mean?”
He sighed, sitting down on a small stool across from you, “I’m nervous that when word travels about the marriage, they’ll look down on the legitimacy of our country. I think it’s good, I think they’ll think we’re less concerned than we really are, however… I’m worried I’m placing a target on your back.”
You nodded softly, “Wilbur, I’ve had a target on my back since I chose to stand with our country,” you moved forward, giving him a gentle kiss, “I understand the concern, and I know the risks. But I’m not letting those risks outweigh the joy of being married to you. If they go for me, I can handle it. I know I’m not much of a fighter, but I can hold my own. Plus, they won’t kill me. If I’m valuable to you, they wouldn’t dare.”
He took your hand in his again, squeezing it gently, “thank you, darling,” he sighed, holding you close. “I won’t let them take you anyways. You’re too precious to me.”
You chuckled softly, lightly pressing your forehead against his. “Let’s go get married, then. The best fuck you we can give them is our love.”
He grinned and chuckled, nodding softly, “Let’s go get married.”
The wedding was a bright affair. The actual marriage part was quick and sweet, vows that you had both prepared together, nothing as genuine as the words spoken the night before. It was sweet regardless, promises of loving each other in the darkest of times that rang true in an audience of war-stricken dreamers. The best part of the wedding was the reception. Everyone was up, dancing and singing along to the music being shared, and the entire tarp over the field was covered in the most beautiful lights and flowers. You had a proper first dance with Wilbur before the dancing became more lively. You spent most of the night sitting with Wilbur and watching your people dance and laugh and drink.
“It’s gorgeous, don’t you think?” You smiled, looking over at him.
He nodded, “It is. I’m glad to see everyone smiling and happy.” “And drunk.”
He laughed, leaning his head on your shoulder, “Yeah, that too.”
You smiled, holding his hand quietly. You stared at the ring on your finger. It was simple, but it was absolutely gorgeous. A simple gold band with a small chiselled diamond in the centre. The diamond was crafted from a piece that had chipped off of Wilbur’s sword when he taught you the basics of parrying hits. The engagement ring lay below it, a thinner silver ring with a small emerald that you recognized as coming from one of Wilbur’s ventures to a further village. The rings weren’t lavish, but you preferred them more like this. They were far more meaningful like this. Symbols of your love both in their meaning and their crafting.
“Can I ask you something?” You asked him softly.
“Of course, darling.”
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself. “In our vows, we both mentioned honesty, so I want you to be honest with me right now. I know this isn’t the place to ask, but… what do you think our chances of winning are?”
He was quiet for a long moment, his thumb caressing the back of your hand, “I don’t think it matters how big or small our chances are. I think what matters is that we have a chance. If we didn’t, we would’ve failed a long time ago.”
You nodded softly, “You see it, though? The future where we win?”
He looked over at you, a wide smile on his face, “I see it as clearly as I see you now. I see our fields free from the blood they currently harbor. Instead, they’re filled with flowers that grew up from the bloodshed. Crimson turned crimson. The kids run around, free of fear of an incoming bomb. My brother runs with them, and he no longer acts so grown up; he’s allowed to be a kid again. I see a memorial for those we lost, for all that was sacrificed. I see our citizens in parades, every year for our independence, they sing and dance, just like this. It’s like… the war is the night, the cold and harsh conditions that brutalize us and break us down into nothing more than human. But independence? It’s warm. It’s laying in the sun in a field with you. It’s our flag waving high on a summer day. It’s the laughter of children, it’s the joy of the future. It’s us. Our future. A memory garden adorned with flowers and the knowledge that we will never return to the Great War because we not only survived, but we persisted.”
“It’s daylight,” you smiled, and he gave you a grin so bright it felt like basking in it.
“It’s daylight.”
The weeks after the wedding remained lively for the most part. The morale boost helped the troops improve, and the battles didn’t seem as tough. There was an underlying fear that the SMP troops were holding back for some reason, but for the most part, everything seemed to be going good.
Until one morning.
Winter had begun, and with it, hardships improved. Illness was rampant, and while no one had fallen fatally ill yet, everyone was afraid.
Wilbur didn’t expect you to be next on the list of ill.
He was in the living room when you woke up that day. You stood slowly, but as you stood, you were hit with a wave of nausea and vertigo. You nearly collapsed before making it to the trash to throw up the contents of your empty stomach. You leaned over the trash and within moments, Wilbur was at your side, keeping your hair out of your face and rubbing your back.
“Darling? Are you alright?”
You coughed weakly, spitting into the trash, “Do I seem okay, Wilbur?” You huffed, before sighing. “Sorry, I just- I hate throwing up.”
He nodded softly, “It’s alright, I get it, here,” he carefully helped you up back into bed before rushing to grab some water. He handed you the glass, and you drank it quickly, sighing softly.
“Did something happen?” He asked, moving to your side to wrap an arm around you.
“No, I just stood up and- yeah,” you sighed, leaning your head against him, “You shouldn’t be close, I may be sick.”
He frowned, kissing the top of your head, “I’ll be alright. I’m going to call for the doctor, okay?”
You nodded softly, and he was rushing to get the doctor within seconds. They came back a few minutes later, and the doctor was quick to check over you.
“Your temperature is a bit high,” they hummed, “But other than that and the throwing up, I’m not seeing any other major symptoms. It could be stress. I would take it easy for the next few days, see if it improves. If nothing’s changed in a week, we can check for more, alright?”
You nodded softly, sighing quietly. Wilbur grabbed your hand gently before walking the doctor out, sharing hushed words.
When he returned, he got back into bed next to you, “They don’t think it’s anything serious. They said it’s likely just a mild fever, not like the flu going around out there.”
You leaned your head on his shoulder, “I’ll be alright.”
“You will be,” he nodded, kissing the top of your head. “I can’t stay to watch you too much this week, but I can get Niki, if you want.”
“Wilbur, I don’t think I need to be watched,” you chuckled.
“I know you don’t need it,” he hummed, “but I want someone to be here with you. I don’t want you to collapse and have no one be here for you.”
You sighed softly, nodding, “Okay. If you don’t need her for anything this week, then I don’t mind. I like spending time with Niki.”
He smiled, squeezing your hand gently, “Alright. I’ll let her know.”
The same thing happened throughout the week. Wilbur would help you in the morning when the nausea hit, and then Niki would swap out with him when he had to go help out his people. The nausea usually lasted the whole day, but the vertigo and lightheadedness only seemed to last in the morning. You managed to eat small meals, and with Niki’s baking, she brought you a lot of small snacks.
It was one of these days that you had a theory. The final day of the week, there was a major battle, so Niki would spend the whole day with you while Wilbur went out to fight. It was nerve wracking knowing that he would be out there and you were stuck in your bedroom, but you figured it wasn’t that much different from the other days, you supposed.
“Niki,” you spoke up from your place on the bed. She was sat across from you, working on a small knitting project. The troops had just head out for the battle.
“Yeah, Y/N?” she asked, looking up at you.
“Did a doctor stay behind? Or did all of them head out?”
She thought for a moment, “There’s two here with us. One for the ill, and one preparing things for when the others return.”
You nodded, staying quiet for a moment, “Could you call one of them here for a moment?”
She frowned, concern lacing her brow, “Yeah, of course, but, why? Are you not feeling well again?”
“It’s not that,” you bit your lip quietly, looking away for a moment, “Can you keep a secret, Niki?”
She nodded, “Of course.”
You fiddled with your fingers for a moment, trying to think of the best way to phrase your next statement, “I… skipped this month.”
She gave you a look of confusion, before her eyes widened as realization hit, “Oh. Oh! Do you think-?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t want to get my hopes up yet. And I don’t want to get Wilbur’s hopes up either, just in case. But… I think so.”
She gave you a grin, nodding quickly as she stood, “I’ll go grab one of the doctors, I’ll be right back!”
She rushed out, leaving you alone with your thoughts for a moment. You were nervous about the implications. You wanted to start a family with Wilbur, of course, but neither of you were planning for it to happen yet. You’d agreed to wait until after the war. War is no place to raise a child.
The doctor came in, and she gave you a gentle smile. Niki waited outside as you spoke with the doctor, and you did a quick exam.
“Well,” the doctor gave you a soft smile, “I think your theory may be correct, Y/N.”
“You think?”
“Well, I know. You’re correct. You’re pregnant.”
She had a soft grin on her face as she confirmed your theory, as if it was not news that changed the entire trajectory of your future.
“Thank you, Doctor,” you gave her a soft smile right back, trying to let your worries ease into the back of your mind until Wilbur returned.
“Of course. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. For the next few months, just try to relax. I know it’ll be tough given our circumstances, but you have the support of the entire country holding you up, alright?”
You nodded silently.
“I’ll do another exam in a month to make sure everything is going well, and we can arrange for monthly visits. If you have any questions just let me know, and so other than that, congratulations.”
“Thank you,” you smiled softly, and she left soon after.
Niki returned, a subdued smile on her face, “So?”
You bit your lip and nodded.
She grinned, rushing to your side and taking your hand in hers, “Oh, that’s lovely! Wilbur’s going to be so excited, are you going to tell him tonight?”
“I think so,” you smiled softly, “I imagine it’d be hard to keep it from him.”
It was hard to keep it from him. But not through your own admission, rather because news of the doctor visiting your home traveled quick among those who’d stayed behind. That night, Wilbur rushed in to see you.
“Y/N! Are you okay?” He called out, rushing up to see you and hold you in a tight hug. He looked worse for wear, his hair a ruffled mess and his cheeks stained with dirt.
“Yes, love, I’m alright, why?” You hugged him back tightly, nerves and knowledge filling your chest.
“I- I heard a doctor came in today,” he pulled away to inspect your face, holding your cheeks gently, “Did something happen?”
“No, no,” you smiled softly, “I’m okay, I’m good, actually. We figured everything out, and I’m going to be okay.”
He let out a breath of relief, pressing his forehead to yours gently, “Darling, you scared me.”
“I’m sorry,” you chuckled softly, “How was the fight?”
He tensed, and you frowned.
“It was… it wasn’t good,” he sighed, and your heart dropped, “We ambushed them like we planned, but they were stronger. We didn’t get to take out as many of them as we wanted to before they noticed us, so we were outnumbered.”
You nodded softly, “Were you successful in stealing supplies, though?”
He nodded, and the smile on his face didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Not as much as we wanted to, but enough to make it hurt.”
“That’s good,” you smiled back at him, “Are you injured? Did you see the medic?”
He shook his head, “a few scratches and a burn from a flaming arrow, but it’s not bad. It’s on my shoulder.”
You rolled your eyes fondly, “Go take a bath, and I’ll wrap it. And then, I have something important to talk to you about.”
He tilted his head, “What is it?”
“Nope, not yet. Go clean up first,” you chuckled softly, “That takes priority.”
He rolled his eyes, grin falling on his face easily, “Alright, alright. I’ll be right back.”
You nodded and watched as he went to go clean up. You could have told him then, but it was more for your sake than his that you wanted to wait. You had to get your mind together first, especially now knowing he was okay.
He returned not long after, face and hands scrubbed clean of dirt and soot. He was wearing a white tank top with his sleep pants, and he had the med kit in his hand as he sat down next to you.
You hissed softly as you saw the burn, gently taking his arm in your hand, “Wilbur, this is worse than you described.”
He waved it off, sighing, “It just got irritated from the water. It doesn’t hurt that bad.”
You gave him a look of disbelief as you stared at the burn. It was bright red and angry, skin slightly charred and bubbled. There was a slight cut in the middle of it from where the arrow must’ve passed through. You sighed sofly, grabbing the disinfectant.
“Hold onto my arm, this is going to sting,” you told him softly, and he did as you said. Once you passed the disinfectant over the burn, he hissed in pain, squeezing your shoulder. You continued cleaning the wound until it was satisfactory, You grabbed the burn cream and delicately spread it over the wound, and slowly, his pained noises lessened.
“I’m not going to wrap it just yet, it needs to breathe for a while, okay?”
He nodded, sighing and pulling his hand away, “Will I be able to cover it tomorrow?”
You frowned, “You shouldn’t. But I know you will, so I’ll wrap it tomorrow.”
He nodded again, grabbing the med kit and returning it to its space in your bathroom.
“So,” he said, sitting down in front of you, “You said you have something important to share?”
“Yeah, so,” you sighed softly, taking his hand gently, “It’s about the doctor visit. I had the doctor come over today because I wanted to talk to her about us starting a family.”
He nodded, eyebrows furrowing slightly, “Okay. I thought we were planning to wait, though?”
You nodded, “I know, but… would you… be upset if we didn’t?”
He chuckled, “Not at all, darling,” he smiled, “it wouldn’t be ideal, but that’s more due to my own selfishness. I want to be here for every second of it, and I don’t know if I can right now. But I wouldn’t be upset about it. Do you… want to?”
You bit your lip, taking his hand and placing it over your stomach. “Wilbur,” you looked up at him, “I don’t know if we have much of a choice anymore.”
He gave you a concerned look, frowning, “Why not? Did- did something happen? If you’re not able to, we could always look into adoption, or-”
“No, Will,” you chuckled softly, shaking your head, “It’s not like that. It’s, uh, it’s the opposite, actually.” You gave him a soft grin.
He looked confused for a moment longer before a wide grin crossed his face, “Wait. Do you- do you mean?”
You nodded, “Yeah. I had a theory with all the sickness in the morning. So, I talked to the doctor, and… I think our family will be coming a lot sooner than we’d planned for.”
He grinned, tears springing to his eyes, “You’re serious? You’re-”
“Pregnant. Yeah.” You were grinning as well, and finally getting to tell him felt like the first breath of air after diving into the deep end.
“Oh, darling,” he spoke, pulling you into a tight hug, “Oh, I- we’re going to have a kid.”
You nodded, chuckling through the tears of joy that hit your cheeks. “Yeah, we’re going to have a kid.”
He grinned, holding you tightly, “Fundy’s going to have a sibling! Darling, this is amazing. I know we wanted to wait, but I don’t care. I have so much more to fight for now. So much more to come home for.”
You kissed him, holding onto him like a lifeline, “The war’s not done. But this. This is why we fight. As long as you’re home at the end of the day, that’s all that matters to me.”
He grinned at you, “I love you so much. I am so lucky to have you. We’re so lucky, even if it’s just being alive right now. This is all we need.”
You smiled lovingly at him, “We are so fucking lucky. And I am so excited for this. They’re blessed to have you as their father.”
“They’re blessed to have you as well,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
That night, neither of you went to sleep concerned over a failed fight. Instead, you dreamt of the bright future you’d be bringing your child into.
Family and close friends were the first to know. You told them two days later, during an impromptu family meeting that Wilbur had called. Everyone was incredibly elated, though Tommy’s excitement probably took the cake, as he was practically screaming his congratulations.
The rest of country learned fairly soon after. About a month later, even though you’d only slightly began showing and could certain continue to hide it for a while, neither of you wanted to. It was a joy to share with the country, and the celebration that followed was bright and lively, a night-long glimpse into a wonderful future.
It wasn’t always easy, though. Wilbur hated how he couldn’t stay by your side, taking care of your every need. You hated how lonely some nights were, when the battles lasted longer than usual or they had to prepare for a midnight ambush. The worst part of those nights was the fear, overwhelming and keeping you stationary in Wilbur’s office or your bedroom. Not knowing if your husband would return hurt more than anything else in the world.
You were six months in when he came home exhausted in early morning light. He didn’t speak to you at first, giving you a kiss before going to wash up. You waited anxiously for him to return, and when he did, he returned shirtless with a med kit in hand. He sat down in front of you with a sigh, turning around so you could see the large gash running down his shoulder.
“Wilbur,” you gasped softly, “this is really long.”
“It’s not that deep. Didn’t even realize it was there until I went to wash up.” He sighed.
You frowned, starting to patch him up quickly.
He spoke to distract himself, “Do you think we’re going to have a girl or a boy?”
You shrugged softly, “I’m not sure. They could be nonbinary as well.”
“True,” he hummed, “if they do come out as nonbinary, we’ll let them choose their own name. But we do still need to choose a name.”
“That’s true,” you hummed, carefully disinfecting his wound, “We should prepare for both.”
“I agree,” he responded, though his words came out through a clenched jaw.
“So what are you thinking, then?”
“Hm, I’m not sure about for a boy. But I do have a name picked out for a girl.”
“Oh, yeah?” you smiled, starting to carefully apply the salve to the wound, “What is it?”
“Tallulah,” he smiled softly, “What do you think?”
“That’s gorgeous. I love it.” You set the rest of the salve down, picking up the bandages.
“I’ve always loved it. I’m really glad you like it as well.”
You directed him to hold his arm up so you could wrap his wound, “It’s beautiful. What about a boy?”
He hummed, “I’m not sure.”
“We could always do Wilbur Jr.”
He snorted, shaking his head, “God, no. I’d sooner name them after Tommy.”
You laughed, shaking your head, “I mean, Thomas would be a good middle name.”
“It would, actually,” he smiled softly. “For a boy, though… Julius could be nice. Or maybe Cornelius.”
You hummed, “Those have a good ring to it. Julius Thomas Soot. Cornelius Thomas Soot.”
“They do. We can think more about it, I suppose. We have time.”
“We do have time,” you hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of his shoulder as you finished the bandage.
He turned, wrapping his arms around you and laying his head on your chest, pressing a kiss to the baby bump. You moved a hand to gently play with his hair.
“It was bad today?” You asked softly.
He sighed, “Bad would be an understatement.”
You nodded softly, kissing the top of his head.
“Do you think we’re bad people? For bringing a kid into this?” He asked softly.
You frowned, “No. I don’t.”
He nodded, holding you a bit tighter. After a moment, he spoke softly, “I’m really scared for them.”
You brushed through his hair with your hand, “Why?”
“I’m going to be honest, it… it doesn’t look good right now. They keep getting stronger and smarter, and I don’t know how to fight them. I’m scared we’re bringing our child into a failing country, and I’m scared I can’t protect you or them if worse comes to worse.”
“I understand. I’m scared too. But, love… we can’t really do anything now. We just have to try to give this child the best life we can, no matter the circumstances. Even if they’re the worst case scenario.”
He sighed, nodding, “I know. I just… I feel like I fucked up with Fundy. I was too young at the time, and I don’t want to make the same mistakes. And if I’m focused on fighting a war, I won’t be able to be there for them, the same way I wasn’t there for Fundy. I’m scared of being a bad father again.”
“I don’t think you will be,” you spoke softly, “and you’re not alone this time. You have me. They won’t be alone if you’re not there. I’ll be here.”
He nodded softly, looking up at you, “Thank you. I’m sorry, I’m just…” He trailed off.
“I get it. I’m scared too. I’ve never done this before. I have no clue what I’m doing. Not to mention I’m terrified of giving birth. But I’m scared of making mistakes because I didn’t know until I met you if I would ever have a kid. I’m glad I am, don’t get me wrong, but I never expected to be ready for something like this. Honestly, I still don’t know if I’m ready. I’m terrified, Wilbur. But I have you. I’m not alone.”
He smiled, leaning up to kiss you gently, “I love you so much.”
“I love you too, darling,” you spoke softly, kissing him back gently, “Let’s get some rest, now, okay?”
“Okay,” he nodded softly. With how exhausted he was, it didn’t take long before he fell asleep, leaving you alone with thoughts of uncertainty until sleep took over.
As you entered the last month of the pregnancy, things were starting to look up.
Kind of.
While the recent battles had been lost, Wilbur had a plan.
“Darling, I think I’ve figured it out,” he grinned, standing from his desk and walking to the couch you sat on.
“What is it?” You smiled, looking up at him.
“I’ve figured out how we win. Tubbo’s been spying for us, as you know, and he brought me this document yesterday, and I couldn’t see the significance! I was being an idiot, but I knew it didn’t make sense for them to have an entire document detailing how they make their uniforms.” He grinned, and you tilted your head.
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s a cypher. Darling, it was a code! And I- I figured it out. I know their plans.” He had a manic look in his eye, and you couldn’t help but perk up at the excitement in his tone.
“Love, have you slept?”
“Barely, I couldn’t sleep much because I kept thinking about this stupid fucking document. But darling, we know everything now. We know exactly where they’re going to be and when. We can win, we- we can do this.”
You grinned, but the anxiety still filled your chest at the idea, “You’re sure about this?”
“I- I mean, I think. I figured out the code, and it all makes sense.”
You bit your lip. You didn’t want to think of the most likely possibility. That they knew. That this was a fake document.
“Darling, I thought you’d be more excited,” he frowned, catching onto your anxiety.
“No, no, I am, just… Wilbur, what if they did it on purpose? What if they let him get a document planted just to feed you incorrect information?”
He nodded, thinking quietly. “I trust in it. And I think it may be a risk we have to take.”
You gaped at him, “Wilbur, you could be marching our troops directly into a trap.”
“I know, I know, but,” he sighed, “I have a good feeling about this, I promise. Honestly, I don’t think we have any other choice. Without this, we have nothing.”
You nodded softly, “... you trust it? That- that this isn’t a plant?”
“Yes.”
“And how certain are you?”
He bit his lip, “Mostly certain. It’s the best chance we’ll have, and we have to move fast, their plans start tomorrow.”
You nodded, pulling him in for a tight hug, “Okay. If-if you’re sure. I trust you.”
He hugged you back tightly, and you tried not to think about the fact that he hugged you like it may be the last time, “I love you so much, darling. Don’t worry, okay? This time tomorrow, we’ll be free people.”
You nodded, closing your eyes to focus on the feeling of his arms around you, “I love you too.” You pulled him in for a loving kiss, sighing softly.
“Go rally your troops.”
Wilbur did just that. He left shortly and brought the plan to all the generals, all the soldiers, everyone he could. He was buzzing with excitement when he returned that night, holding you close as he lied with you in bed, one hand gently resting over your belly.
“We’re leaving before the sun is up,” he told you softly.
“Will you be back when I wake up?”
He shook his head, “No. But we’ll be back for dinner for sure.”
You smiled softly, holding him closer, “We’ll have a celebratory dinner. Extra special.”
“Oh?” He chuckled, “Extra special?”
“Absolutely. Because we won’t just be celebrating the win. We’ll be celebrating your new role as President.”
He flushed softly, “You think?”
You nodded, “I’ve heard the people speak. They trust you, Wilbur. And I know you’ll make a great president. You’ll create a great place for our child to grow up in.”
“Thank you,” he smiled softly, leaning down to press a kiss to your belly, then your cheek.
“Plus,” you hummed, “President Soot does have a good ring to it.”
He smirked, blushing once more, “Oh? You think so?”
“I know so, Mr. President,” you grinned as he leaned up, lips hovering above yours.
“That does sound nice. Though I may be biased,” he pecked your lips gently, a smirk still ghosting on his lips.
“How so?”
“Well, I think any words that escape your lips are just as gorgeous as the lips they escape from,” he spoke softly, pulling you into a languid and loving kiss. You kissed him back just as passionately, letting the intensity quell your fears about his return tomorrow.
Wilbur was gone when you woke up the next morning, which you expected. What you didn’t expect was for lunchtime to have been such a bleak affair. You expected much more liveliness from your people, especially given how much Wilbur believed in the plan. But the streets were quiet. There were only hushed words as you walked through town to find a meal, and it seemed as if many people were directing those hushed words towards you.
“Did something happen?” You asked the merchant after you finished your meal.
She gave you a frown, a tense look appearing on her brow, “You haven’t heard?” You felt your heart sinking as you shook your head.
She sighed, looking down for a moment before looking back up at you, “I’m sorry, uh…” she took a deep breath before speaking, “one of the generals was supposed to come back to check in at noon. They haven’t returned.”
Your eyes widened slightly, but you nodded quietly, “Well, that- that doesn’t mean anything specific yet. Have we heard anything at all from the battlefield?”
She shook her head solemnly, and you nodded once more.
“Alright, well, ah, thank- thank you,” you stuttered out, before rushing away to find the basecamp quarters. You started feeling a pain as you walked, but you didn’t allow yourself to focus on it as you ripped open the tarp to the camp, finding the entire place… empty. It felt like a ghosttown.
You swallowed down the bile that rose in your throat, rushing back home. The pain continued as you walked, and your legs shook stubbornly as you trekked home. You couldn’t tell if the pain was even real, or if it was a side effect of the desperation and doom that filled your heart. As you reached your home, you collapsed against the front door, holding onto the door frame as a groan of pain escaped you. Before you knew it, the ground was rushing up to meet you.
When you woke, you weren’t on the ground. You found yourself in an uncomfortable cot, pain wracking through your body as you failed to sit up.
“Hey, take it easy, it’s okay, you’re okay,” the doctor spoke, coming to help you sit up. You were sweating, and she carefully placed a cold wet cloth to the top of your forehead.
“What’s- what’s going on? Where’s Wilbur?” You stifled a groan as you spoke.
“He’s not back yet, none of the troops are. And you’re okay, you passed out when your water broke. You’re going into labor.”
“Fuck,” you hissed out, panting softly. You noticed now the dressing gown you wore, your original clothes laying folded in a pile in the corner.
“Take some deep breaths for me, you’re doing great, okay?” She instructed, and you nodded, taking a moment to just focus on your breathing.
“What- what time is it?” You asked in between breaths.
“It’s about to be seven.” She told you, turning as she sorted through medical supplies.
Wilbur should’ve been back by now. You didn’t know if you could do this without him.
“Your contractions are coming in about every five minutes, and they’re lasting about a minute. You’re not quite there yet, so you have time, alright?”
You bit your lip and nodded, placing a hand over your belly as you prayed to any god that would listen that your husband would be returning to you in one piece, in time for him to meet his child. You’d never felt so alone at such a worse time. You had no midwife, no friends, no husband, just your doctor to guide you through this.
It was another hour before it was time. You didn’t want it to be, you wanted Wilbur.
“You’re dilated,” the doctor informed you, grim as you shared a thought on the lack of troops returning, “I’m sorry, but you’re going to start pushing.”
You shook your head, “No, I- I need to wait, please.”
“I’m sorry, I know.” She took your hand in hers, “We still have time, but you need to start.”
As much as you wanted to argue, you knew you couldn’t.
The sound of you yelling in pain during the next contraction was masked with another sound.
Yelling, first.
Then, the singing.
And finally, cheering.
It was only a minute later when heard the sound grow, of your people, cheering and singing in the streets outside. It was two minutes later when a medic rushed in, a smile on their face.
“They’re back!” They announced, before rushing to tell whoever they could.
You fought through another contraction as your heart lifted, panic filling you.
“Wilbur,” you spoke weakly, “Wilbur, please, please, find- find Wilbur.”
The doctor looked at you in concern, biting her lip for a moment.
“Okay. Okay, yes, hold on, let me- I’ll go try to find him, just hold on.”
You nodded rapidly as the doctor rushed out, going to find Wilbur. You gripped the sides of the cot as you groaned in pain, trying desperately to focus on your breathing.
When she returned, she was alone, “I-I couldn’t find him, but they’re saying he’s alive, don’t worry, okay?”
You let out a breath of relief, head falling back for a moment as you relaxed just as much as you could. She guided you through a few more contractions before you heard the most beautiful sound.
“Darling?!” You heard Wilbur yell, and you heard his voice get closer with each word, “Excuse me, please, hold on, Y/N!” He ripped open the door, gasping in relief once he saw you.
“Darling, oh my god,” he rushed in, coming in quickly to hold your hand tightly and place his other hand on your cheek. You leaned into his touch as he turned to the doctor, “How far along are they?”
“Breached,” the doctor informed, “Should be any minute now.”
He nodded, and you looked at him, “Will, I was so- fuck- I was so worried.”
He cooed, brushing your hair back, “It’s okay, I’m alright, I’m here now. Darling,” he grinned, eyes filled with tears as you squeezed his hand and groaned in pain.
“Darling,” he spoke again once the moment had passed, “We- we did it. We won. We’re free.”
You gasped, pulling him into you, “Oh, my god,” you couldn’t fight the tears that fell from your cheeks, “We won?”
He nodded quickly, kissing the top of your head, “We won.”
You let out a sob of relief and joy, but it was quickly masked by another yell of pain.
“You’ve got this, darling, I’m here, we’re free, you can do this,” he told you, holding you close.
“It’s a girl,” the doctor spoke softly. Wilbur was with you on the cot now, and you both were exhausted for different reasons, but both with joyous outcomes. She brought your daughter over to you, the newborn swaddled carefully.
You gasped quietly when you saw her, taking her gently in your arms as you leaned against Wilbur. You looked up at him, tears in both of your eyes. He kissed you gently before looking back down at your daughter.
“Tallulah Soot,” he spoke softly, “Welcome to the free nation of L’Manburg.”
You chuckled, though it was slightly muffled from your tears. “The first citizen to be born under a free rule,” you spoke softly, a finger gently stroking her cheek, “Because we won.”
“We won,” Wilbur parroted, disbelief clouding his voice.
She woke both of you up early with her cries. You held her in your arms as the early morning light poured in slowly, and as you rocked her, Wilbur sat next to you, an arm around your shoulder.
Her cries softened, and as her big eyes stared up at you, you decided to tell her a story.
“Now, Ms. Lulah,” you spoke softly, “You won’t know this for a few years. But you were born during a very special time. Your father was amazing, he commanded a whole army of people.”
Wilbur chuckled softly, kissing your head, “You were born to two amazing people. One a commander, and one his political advisor who won his heart with their wit and brevity behind closed doors.”
You chuckled, smiling warmly, “Yes, even though he was a disorganized wreck when I met him. Every year, Ms. Lulah, there will be a parade on your birthday. Do you know why?”
Wilbur smiled fondly, “I don’t think she does.”
“Well, then I’ll tell her,” you hummed softly. You looked up, staring out in an empty field, filled with beautiful red flowers as the morning light softly reflected on dew drops that slept on grass. “Because, you, Ms. Lulah, were born on the day your father and our people fought to ensure your freedom. More importantly, you were born on the day they won.”
She let out a soft giggle – the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard – and you grinned lovingly, staring out at that field once more, that never again, would harbor the same bloodshed. As the sun poured in, you could see in your mind, her running in that field, picking those red flowers, and never once knowing of the same hardships that allowed crimson blood to pour on your land.
All she would know is the daylight.
#mar writes#wilbur soot x reader#mcyt x reader#lovejoy#dsmp x reader#wilbur x reader#wilbur soot#mcyt x you#wilbur soot x you#wilbur soot fanfiction#mcytumblr#mcyt wilbur#dsmp#dsmp fanfic#lmanbur#lmanbur x reader#lmanburg#our young nation#oyn au
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Just because I feel like this fandom needs some predaking fluff:
Tfp predaking x human reader where predaking for some reason has to seek refuge of just stay with the autobots for a little while and due to some accident while ratchet was working on holoform technology he accidentally becomes tiny in the size of a kitten. The reader has the tendency to categorize every lifeform to dog and not dog and loves cuddling,petting predaking even when he was huge.
His reaction when one day he gets all dirty and the reader decides to give him princess treatment,in their lap filled with warm towels, nice music or movie ,gently brushing every scale and polishing him while lovingly petting him and kissing his head.
Predaking is 100% held like a cat in a villains lap in one of those movies just because the reader likes the dramatic effect(they also stole a spinning chair from agent fowler's office)
If its cold outside he is definitely used as a replacement for an electric blanket.
The reader has such a great bond with predaking to the point where one day when they cant find a torch for a big project they just grab predaking like a flame trower and they go like "Eh,this will do".(Or using him for anything cooking related)
One day the reader was rambling to predaking about how school makes them depressed and anxious and how teachers make them feel awful about themeselves.Next day at school they open their bag and find predaking inside.The reader calls ratchet bcs they dont know what to do who also panicks bcs they have been trying so hard to keep a low profile only to be exposed like this.Eventually he will come by himself to pick him up but by then you have to keep a fat cat sized metal alien dragon from trying to burn half of your teachers to the ground for making you depressed.(the reader is anxious the whole time but deep down they have a warm feeling bcs someone is caring for them)
Predaking has been secretly messing with Ratchet's work so he will stay tiny.Ratchet just catches one day a cat sized predaking munching all his equipment and just hunting him with a wrench through the base to keep him away being like "Bad predaking,I needed that!!!"
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on the state of kholin haterism on tumblr
this is gonna be a long one, so bear with me.
one thing i think that has changed in the tumblr fandom in the three years that ive been in it is that the culture in 2021 was ALSO at a largely anti-Kholin sentiment, but there were two key differences.
the first is that most people making critiques of such characters would use the tag #kholin critical, which was useful either if you were sensitive to criticism of one of the kholins for whatever reason AND if you wanted to read analysis of some of their faults by many different users under one tag.
the second is that said kholin critical criticisms were... less stupid? like a lot of it was talking about reddit fandom hypocrisy where dalinar was held up as righteous and badass and could do no wrong even though he had tons of personal and political faults that other characters (largely people who WERENT extremely powerful nobles) were demonized for. also a lot of stuff like "adolin is kaladins friend now but i dont think just categorizing it as simple enemies to besties is fair because adolin WAS being overtly racist to kaladin at the beginning there". a lot of discussion about how the Kholins treat darkeyes and characters of lower dahns where the bigotry there was being downplayed by fans in favor of the characters being painted both by fandom and in the universe of the books as Always Right All The Time. stuff like that.
that's not to say the whole kholin crit tag was all, like, stuff that isnt bullshit. people have been dunking on elhokar for being a whiny failking since the beginning of time. but the vibes were a lot different.
kholin critical kind of fell out of favor as a hashtag because most of us realized hey on a doylist level either the things we're criticizing the kholins for are purposeful character flaws that make for richer, more realistic, more engaging characters; or they're oversights from the moderate liberal Sanderson, in which case, why are we complaining about Dalinar doing this, when we should be complaining about Sanderson doing this. so this whole thing is stupid. and also by then the atmosphere on tumblr was way different, this was by and large the Moash Website and while people were haters about characters they did not put the hate in character tags so people largely avoided each others haterism. and there was peace for like a year and a half, i guess.
things are way different now. for context. i track the #dalinar kholin tag. so whenever my dash is dead im checking my tracked tags, and thus i see every original post about dalinar that someone decided to tag #dalinar kholin. and boy howdy, things have devolved. this used to be a chill experience for me, i'd see first time readers go OH MY GOD HE DID WHAT?????? during oathbringer and "[some philosophical shit dalinar said]" -brandon sanderson. follow for more inspiring book quotes" about three times a day, fanart once every couple weeks or so, stuff like that. but now a solid 75% of the posts in dalinars tag are like. hate. not literary criticism, but hate. sometimes about justified things, sometimes about unjustified things, but still, extremely negative.
in a bubble, that's fine. god knows ive been a hater on my blog before and ill be a hater on my blog again. and its not even like im opposed to reading well thought out criticism of my faves on any level because, like, dalinar is kind of a rat bastard! but like. listen. you don't put character hate in that character's tag. you don't do that. the people who are checking a character's tag are fans of that character and fandom is for fun. being a hater directly reaching out to the lovers for comment is rude as hell.
also a lot of the things people dislike about dalinar tie back to his neglectful fatherhood and his alcoholism which is, like, a thing i understand people would have strong negative feelings towards him for having because Neglectful Alcoholic Dad is like one of the top 10 kinds of abusive dads out there so lots of people have very visceral very personal experiences related to that. but when posting about this in any form whatsoever it feels like im having to go back to Treating Addicts Like Human Beings 101. like i feel like ive made a billion posts to the tune of "okay kids, you can do bad things while drunk and you are still responsible and you can also get drunk at inopportune times and you are still responsible, but the act of being addicted to alcohol does not make a character ontologically evil". and like thats. um. a personal thing but also oh my goodness.
i dont really have a conclusion to this. im just thinking goddamn its bleak out here right now.
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hey! been watchin your blog for a while (a friend showed me one of your first (?) fran bow razzdazz drawings and i thought ut was So Cool and have been payin attention since lol), and ive been ponderin glisten in the asylum au for a bit? i saw someone else talk about givin him dysmorphophobia, and i think thats so fun and i would like to build on it a little bit? moreso in the direction of just giving him body dysmorphia in general.
body dysmorphic disorder is categorized as an obsessive compulsive disorder, and generally is confused as something that inherently comes with eating disorders? i think the main difference with them is body dysmorphia is centered around a specific part of the body and not a general weight thing. i think he probably would count for that with his face, honestly? his mirror part specifically? its what he seems to put the most effort into (aside from his bow but thats an accessory) and hes So Appearance Based.
also hes shown to be very insecure about how people perceive him in game with his dialogue and the toon rooms in roleplay mode, and. while his twisted form is shown to be more concerned with being alone, and monophobia, and its so fun to explore i honestly think thats something that should be left to be explored with his twisted form in this whoops, ^^;; its smthn we know is there but dont really see in his normal toon form
but ! yeah, theres my two cents. i dunno if my rambles make much sense lol but i love this stupid mirror and i love fran bow so <:33 buh bye
This is a lot more detailed and deep than I could have ever written it!!! This is actually a huge help in understanding dysmorphia so thank you as well!! I'm keep all these things in mind if I ever draw Glisten :3
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