#i dont know how intentional theyre being in this narrative but it is ripping me up. it is shredding me like tissue paper

[omegalomania]

dont mind ME im just calmly dealing with the tragic one-two punch of bishops knife trick and from now on we are enemies being played during the same show. i'm just a man on the balcony singing no one will ever remember me vs this is my pity party. i only want what i can't have vs. i'm struggling to exist with you and without you. i just want to be better than your head's only medicine vs. i just want to let you break my brain. singing symphonies of the overdosed and the last blues we're ever gonna have (i sing the blues and swallow them too, remember?) and getting worse until there's nothing left and the internal collapse you're trying to gird yourself against even though you know nothing will soften its impact.

something about songs that ache with a hopelessness so desolate that it threaded its way through fan circles in a very palpable way. something about songs that feel like they could be goodbyes or endings or the closing of a book. something about the way fans thought both those songs were farewells and that this was the band singing its own swansong, signalling its end. something about how neither of them were.