#i dont have time for this i dont have time to figure out how to write tbb parts I DO NOT

[miyakiwiii]

GUESS NO ONE EVER TAUGHT YOU HOW TO BE A REAL MAN...。o○ [2]

KANG DAE HO x FEM!READER

Wylcome back sigmas.. or idk.. help

TAGS

mmm red light green light,blood, a lot of blood, uh period ahh period uh, 'IVE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFORE' ahh gi hun, but has gore and a lot of death, spoilers, lots of hand holdinh between TWO players (guess who)

NOTE:

Heyy wassup my peeparoo's, i hope yer liking this series fic or whatevs you call it! Ilysm and ty for liking the last post! THAT WAS THE FASTEST LIKES IVE EVER RECEIVED( *・ω・)ノ TYSMM

WORD COUNT:3,560k

PREVIOUS... NEXT PART.. MASTERLIST

"That is correct." The square says. 'Hope this'll be fun, whatsoever.' I say in my thought's, focusing on the rushing things that came on my mind.

"...cool i guess, free money from playing kiddie games." I put yet again, both of my hands in my pocket's. But suddenly, a voice of an old woman was heard.

"Good heavens- excuse me." The voice echoed through the room.

A faint sound of a slap, a slap on a cloth was heard as it soon was followed by words. "You idiot-!" The old woman says.

"Mom! Wha- what are you doing here..?" The familliar voice that was heard earlier said.

"Thats what i wanted to ask you! What are you doing here!?" The old woman's voice said angrily.

"Embarassing? If you know what was embarassing, you wouldn't be here!" The old woman continued, i guess the son spoke in a whisper before that then.

"No- we wont, come on! Your leaving." The old woman said again, it appears to be that my calculations were correct, never mind im sounding like a nerd.

'Wow, family drama in such place like this is crazy, haha.' I say in my thoughts.

"Why would you bring a naive old woman here?! Will you take responsibilit if my mom collapses!? HAH?" The familliar male's voice earlier yelled out.

"yong sik- ill stay and do this, you go home.." the old woman said, now that you knew that player's name.

"Stop it! Im already here, i cant just leave!" Yong sik continues.

"But you promised me! You promised never to gamble again!" The old woman continues(i love this diva sm)

SKIPPING TO.. TAKE PICCIES.

As you were standing in line, looking at the players taking their pics as a woman on the speakers had announced something.

"Damn.. this is taking long, my feet are gonna be sore-" i sighed, but the speakers interrupt me.

"The first game will begin momentarily."

Now the line being done, you took a step as it said to you.. "smile." Yeah sure, smile for the picture or cheese?

(The picture is what i potray the reader as! But you can potray the reader however you like, or being yourself! The reader can be any race, weight, or bodyshape! As long as your enjoying it :). )

Music plays as you stood infront of the camera.

"Yeah i wont.. smile." You say, because your smile scared alot of children last time you approached them, yeesh.

You walked out of the photo booth or something ... i really dont know what its called.

The speaker spoke again.

"After having your picture taken, follow the staff's instructions and proceed to the game site." The speaker says as you slowly went up the stairs...

☆ ○o。..。o○ ☆

"Welcome to the first game, all players please wait a moment on the field." The speaker says as you stepped out, there was sand in the ground, the walls were painted like landscapes, and there was a huge hole above all of this.

But the strange thing you noticed is that..

There was a weird doll that represented a figure of a child, it wore yellow and had pigtails, "yeesh that give's me the chills." You said as the sun went to blind your eyes.

The door behind you closed, basically the door was shut behind you, automatically..

"The game is Red light, Green light." It announced.

I prepared myself as i stretched my arm's "first game, easy enough." You say with confidence as you looked at the front.

"Hey! Dont get too cocky missy." Someone said right behind you, ew.

"Nah, id win." You said, your back still facing the man that said you were too cocky, well it was a sheer boost of confidence.

"Cross the finish line in five minutes without getting caught. If you do you pass." The speaker says but suddenly- someone went upfront, it was the familliar voice that you heard earlier. "Everyone! Everyone! Pay attention!" The familliar figure waved and put his hand to deliver attention to him, wow main character energy that much.

"Listen carefully! This is not just a game! If you lose the game, you DIE!" He yelled out.

"Dying from a kid's game? Sounds awfully fake." You said, fixing your hair as strands went up to your face, looking at the.. crazy? You wouldnt call him that, Man.

"That sounds sketchy,"

"Fake"

"Hes crazy."

People spoke, as you laughed a little.

"Hey! What are you talking about?" A random woman says. "Were going to die playin' red light, green light?" The random woman questioned.

The familliar figure responded. "Of course! If they catch you moving, they will kill you! They will shoot from somewhere!" The man says.

"Sounds weird enough." You said, letting out a sigh as you moved your head again, looking at your left, you noticed... player 388 yet again. His head was tilted slightly as he listened to the man's words. Huh, cute- wait. Your only here for money not for love.

"Oh hey its you agai-" you spoke out, but the familliar figure that was in the front spoke again.

"Stay on your toes!" The familliar figure yelled out.

"Ehem, as i was saying, hello... player 388." You greeted him as he glanced at you, his lips were parted as he waved a little bit.

"Ah.. hello again uhm, player 238." He says flashing a small grin, but the familliar figure spoke again.

"If you get caught, YOU DIE! That doll's eyes are motion detectors!" The familliar figure says."Stay on your toes!"

"Well, no time for chatting i guess." I say as i spoke to player 288, he nods as we both stood silent, the tension was akward even if there were multiple people surrounding us.

"What the hell are you talking about???" A random man says. "I think he's trying to scare us so he can win the prize money!"

"Thats right!"

"I agree!"

Multiple people agreed on the man's words as we both still stood akwardly with each other.

"Dont pull any tricks, asshole!" Another guy says.

"You have to believe me!" The familliar figure says. The figure rotate's its head as the weird doll starts to move, its right hand started to raise and cover its eye. You took a deep breath and released it.

"Do not be alarmed or panic! No matter what happens, do not panic and start running!" The figure says.

"Let the game begin."

An alarm suddenly ticks as the doll finally spoke.

"Green light, red light."

You moved, and finally stop, looking at the man that did a gesture that made his arms go down.

"Freeze!" The man yelled, you focused on not moving as your feet began digging in the sand. The sun literally is interfering with this.

The doll rotated its head as its eyes began to weirdly move. 'Ew.... creppy ass doll.' You said, looking at the doll while you spoke in your thoughts.

"Well done! You just need to stay calm like this! We just have to move and stop at the same time!" The man yelled.

"Green light...." you moved fastly as you halted, the man speaking yet again.

"Freeze!" He yelled.

'Being in a jumper while being under the sun, too much coverage, but gotta handle it.' You say in your thoughts yet again.

"Dont move! Stay still! Just relax!" The man yelled.

"Green light.." you ran slowly.

"Red light." The doll chanted.

It repeated again as you took some steps, you really wished there was an AC inside this room, well.. you never experienced it anyway except when going to stores and such.

"Freeze!" The man repeatedly yelled again.

'This is getting boring not gonna lie..' you say in your thoughts again.

The doll moved its head again as you repeated it, repeat repeat repeat, even hid words were repeated.

You freezed yet again, the air hitting you lightly.

But suddenly, you heard a gunshot.

Shit.

A loud thud echoed through as you stood, now static as a heavy boulder. Then, there was a scream that followed now, people we're moving. Scarlet red coated the back of your jumper as you still stood. Not flinching from the sound at all.

Screams and gunshots continued, more blood soon dripped in the ground, wow you already got stained by someone's blood. Thats that for not knowing what will happen, also maybe consequences in the first round: getting stained by someones blood.

'Just dont move and we'll be good.' The gunshot's were still going as the man yelled again. "Freeze!" One more gunshot followed it.

"You can move forward while the tagger shouts, 'red light green light. If your movement is detected afterward, you will get eliminated."

The doll rotated its head again as you still stood.

It rotated its head for two times untill the familliar voice finally spoke again.

"You'll also die if you donr make it there in time! That doll is a motion detector! But it can't detect motion thats not visible to it!" The man signals its hand open and closed as he continues with his words. "Get behind someone bigger than you! Like your following the leader! Were running out of time! We've got to move!" You moved behind a.. familliar back with that signature small ponytail of their's.

Player 388. Huh this must be a coincidence that your almost being close to him and such.

You suddenly stumbled as you put your hand behind him.

"...sorry." you said, gripping his jumper a little to be a gesture of an apology, you noticed his hand slightly shaking, that made you feel slightly worried.

"No-nono.. its fine.. miss." He said, you can tell he was anxious suddenly.

Two gunshots were soon followed again as the doll moved its head again, getting your grip out of 388's jumper, he suddenly held your hand and ran, then stopped. His hand felt callused compared to yours, his was warm, yours was.. cold.

You were still behind him as you gulped some air.

Now, a line was now formed by individual players. Yet you still focused on.. the game and this feeling i guess.

"Do not move! Freeze!" The familliar man yelled out, but then suddenly, three thuds were heard as it was one gunshot, and the other two were shot at the same time.

The doll moved its head again and his grip on your hand tightened, running, and then stop.

One gunshot followed as he still kept you behind him, wow dude you guys arent even dating or in a relationship yet, get a grip🙏😭

As i was saying, it repeated again, the sound of the sand below crunching as there were another gunshot.

"Hey- 388, why are you holding my hand-" you questioned but he doesnt respond. He still kept holding it as you both halted again one gunshot. Two gunshot.

You two were almost near the finish line as you noticed someone stumble, now shot.

"It wasnt me. She pushed me i didnt move! It was her i didnt move!" The random man said.

A gunshot was soon followed as the familliar man cheered. "Your almost there! You can do it!"

You two were a step ahead on getting to the finish line.

You two both fell inside the finish line as you both grunted, now you were heaving, breathing for air.

"Im sorry uh- miss, i didnt mean to hold your hand." He said, holding a hand out for you to grab.

You held his hand and stood up, dusting the jumper.

"... thanks for shielding me though, i should be the one to apologize for-" he cut's you out.

"No, no its fine." He spoke. You noticed that there was three people running up to the finish line, the one in middle being injured.

The three of them ran, and now arrived at the finish line.

"By the way miss.. whats your name?" The man behind you spoke.

"I think you already heard it being announced but.. [nam-]" there was a gunshot followed as the man died inside the finish line.

You didnt speak after that, knowing it was a time to not speak.

"...[name]. It is.. im- im kang dae ho." He introduce's himself.

The sky suddenly darkens as you both look up, there was sound building up from the other players as it closed slowly.

"Players, its now time to go back to the quarters." The speaker had announced.

☆ ○o。..。o○ ☆

Now you and dae ho were facing each other even in opposite bunk beds, the silence filling both of your eardrums.

"That was..." you said.

"Not great." He said.

Both of you had said it in unison.

The door buzzed open as the pink guards showed up, walking a little bit.

You hid behind your bunk bed in instinct as they approached.

"Congratulations for making it through the first game. Here are the results of the first game." The square said.

The tv immedietly turned on, showing numbers that dropped down. "Out of 456 players, 91 players have been eliminated. 365 players have completed the first game." The square announces.

"Congratulations again for making it through the first game." The square announces.

"Sir please dont kill us!" The familliar old woman's voice begged. "Please dont kill ud im begging you! As for my son's debt, i will do whatever it takes to pay you back! Please forgive us!"

It followed other players begging for their lives, kneeling down, crying. Both you and dae ho didnt mind all of them but just exchanged eye glance's.

"We are not trying to harm you. We are presenting you an opportunity." The square says.

"Clause three of the consent forms!" The familliar man yelled out. " 'the games may be terminated upon a majority vote.' Correct?"

"That is correct." The square answered. Both you and dae ho's head were now turned into the direction of the familliar man, looking at him.

"Then let us vote right now." The man says.

"Of course. We respect your right and freedom of choice." The square continues. "But first, let me announce the prize amount thats been accumalated. "

The square clicks on the remote as the piggy bank slowly goes below along with music and sound effects.

I looked from the side of the bunk bed and stared at the won falling from a tube inside the piggy bank.

"The number of players that were eliminated were 91. Therefore,accumalates to 9.1 billion won." The square says. "If you quit the game now, the 365 of you can equally divide 9.1 billion won and leave with your share.

"How much is that?" The old bitc-man says.

"each person's share would be 24,931,500 won." The square says.

Voice's build up yet again as they all had different answers.

"Thats not enough.."

"We almost died for that.."

Well, it was true. You needed more won. Still too minimum.

"Million? You said 45.6 billion!" A purple haired guy said. Oh you definately could recognize the dude.

"The rule is that, a hundred million won will be accumalated for each eliminated player." The square says.

You perked up from his words that soon followed another. "If you play the next game and more players get eliminated, the prize amount will increase accordingly." The square spoke.

"How much will it be if you survive untill the end?" The annoying- i mean old man spoke.

"as i already told you, the total amount of prize money for all 456 players is 45.6 billion won. Those who make it through all six games, will equally divide the 45.6 billion won." The square answered.

"So if your the only one to survive, you get 45.6 billion?" A random man spoke.

"That is correct." The square answered.

Murmurs start building up again as you noticed dae ho fidgeting with his fingers, signalling him with your hand to ask if he was okay, he nods and gives you a thumbs up.

"So we can take a vote again and decide to leave after the next game?" A random man had spoke.

"As promised in the consent form, you can take a vote for each game and decide to leave with the prize money accumulated to that point. We alwaye prioritize your voluntary participation.. Now, lets begin the vote." The square spoke.

You gestured dae ho to stand up and he does so, walking down to go with the fewer people below.

Both of you were standing behind the several players as you sighed.

"If you wish to continue the game, press the O button, if you wish to end them, press the X button." The square has said as you looked at the ground. "The vote will be held in reverse order of your player numbers, player 456." The man had called out, everyone's attention went to him as you gulped, thinking about what to vote.

You needed the money because it wasnt enough.

"Its all pointless!" Your thoughts had been interrupted as a strange woman that was on the top bunks spoke. "Talk about getting creep's again.." you said.

"You didnt decide when to come into this world, and you cant decide when you leave it either. When and where you die, were already decided by the gods the moment you were born. No matter how hard you try, you CAN never escape it." The woman said.

a button was soon followed as you looked at the flat screen tv, one X. "Once you finish voting, put the patch you are given on the right side of your chest, put the patch you are given on the right side of your chest, and stand on the side you have chosen." The square announces.

A few votes followed as it called dae ho, looking at dae ho who was walking torwards the button, the O went up by one.

After few people again, it was finally your turn. "Player 238." It had announced. The X and O's side turns their face on you as you walked, thinking about the buttons that was plastered on the voting, you finally were infront of it.

You pressed.. O.

After you pressed it, they gave you a blue patch and went to the blue side, the counter went up by one yet again.

Several votes followed as the score is now 87 to 93. Looking at the screen above, someone had spoken up yet again.

"Wait a minute everyone! Wait! You cant do this." The familliar voice had spoken again, looking into the direction of that player, you already knew who it was.

"Come to your senses! Dont you see? These arent all games, we will die if we keep playing! We have to get out of here now." The man had interrupted the voting process.

"Who do you think you are?!"

"Im super man." I answered. It was that annoying old man again.

"Why do you keep egging people on like that? You scared us by saying they'd shoot us before the game even began!" Wow ferocious debate mister.

"Thats right! He was going one abour how we'd die, and i almost did because i got so nervous!" A woman had spoken up, it was followed by a man. "How did you know they were going to shoot us? Are you one of them?" The man had spoken, and that annoying voice came up again.

'Fucking hell this debate makes my head hurts..' i say in my mind, as i went to rub my temples.

"Are you conning us all by pretending to be a player? Who is this guy?!" The old man shoved the man. "Did you plant him to mess with our hands?!" The old man said.

"Thats uncalled for! We wouldn't won the game and survived if it weren't for him!" The guy who seemed to be his bestfriend defended him.

He was correct afterall, but you just needed more money to pay half of the debt.

"And you! I saw how scared you were, and your legs were shaking!" The bff man yelled.

"You should thank him, not treat him like a fraud!" The man yellled. "And who the hell are youuu? Are you conspiring with him?" Another guy said. "Older than you, what are you going to do? Huh? Huh?" It was followed by an old woman's voice gesturinh for them to stop.

"Please dont do this, listen- none of us would be alive if it weren't for this gentleman! So enough with the greed- lets put our live's first and get out of this place- okay?" The old woman cried out.

"Thats right!"

"Lets get all out of here!"

"No we have to keep playing!"

The arguments were cut off as it was followed by the familliar man's voice.

"I have played these games before! I have done this before! I know about the first game because i had played it before! I played the games three years ago! And everyone who was with me.. died here!" The man had said, as voices build up yet again, theyre so noisy...

"They all did?"

"All of them?"

"Really, no way. If they all did, how did you survive alone? Wait. Are you saying you were the sole winner?" A man had said. "Thats right. I was the final winner." The familliar man answered. They were gossiping again soon after. "If we continue the games, every single person here... just like all the people back then, will die in the end." You can hear pain in his last few words. You felt bad but, you still needed the money.

"Bullshit." The old man interrupted again."if you were the sole winner it means you eon 45.6 billion won. If you really did, why would you even come back here?"

"Thats right! Hes lying!"

"Cut the crap!"

"Hes a total nutcase!"

"If someone like you can win, so can i!"

"If you really won it actually works better for us. You can give us some tips, on how to beat these game's." The familliar purple haired dude said, now you do recognize him.

"Thats right! We have a previous winner with us, so what do we have to worry about? Come on lets do this!"

"Come on!"

"Yeah!"

"Lets make some money!"

"Lets do this!"

"Lets do it!"

"Lets try!"

You just stood there processing what happened as every word of them came to a blur, but the square spoke again.

"From here on, we will not tolerate actions that disrupt the voting process. Now, lets resume the vote."

Few votes afterward, it all led to a tie. People cheered for the tie.

"Lastly, player 001." They all looked into the direction of the man.

"Everyone say O!"

"O!"

"X!"

They all cheered as the man went to the voting podium.

All of them were now focused on the man, so were you.

The vote had clicked as the O... won.

Half of the people in O cheered as you covered your ears, now.. all the people retreated to their quarters. You noticed dae ho and ran up to him.

"Hey, dae ho!" You said, he noticed you as you followed him, going to your bunk bed as the opposite of him.

You sat down in the bunk bed and looked at hid patch, you werent alone anyways.

"Hey dae ho.. do you have a reason on why you voted O?" You asked, looking at him. "Yeah.. i do." He said quietly.

[giddyfatherchris]

A movie i've seen before III

pairing. bang chan x f!reader

type. not requested, a little fluff and a whole lot of angst

warnings. f!reader, crying, relationships issues, trust issues, angst angst ANGST

wc. 4k

a/n. here we go part 3!! this one will be rough LMAO it took me so long to write it and it made me so angsty when i did buuuuuut i kinda love it and ive been having a whole lot of fun writing sm angst even though im so nervous to post this since its not in my "usual" style… anyway i hope you’ll enjoy mwah xx oh and! i love to listen to music when im writing and reading so here’s a few song i had on repeat while writing this: guilty as sin - taylor swift, ceilings - lizzy mcalpine, i wish i hated you - ariana grande (in this order specifically!)

dont forget to tell me if you want to be added to the tag list for the next part x

part I part II

(pics are not mine! credit to the owners!)

The streets were softly illuminated. Restaurants and little bars were stuffed with people laughing and enjoying the gorgeous night. You looked around and felt a wave of glee wash over you. You loved people-watching, the freedom of the soft wind dancing through your hair, and most of all, you loved being here with him.

Rehearsals had been a flying success. The boys had been so excited to see some of their friends and the day flew by in a second. When you returned to the hotel, you should have been exhausted from such an intense and packed day. Still, all you felt was excitement and energy course through your blood at the prospect of the coming evening. Once you made sure the other boys were settled, they all encouraged you to go out, have some fun, and take advantage of being in the famous French city. Even Felix gave you an encouraging smile as you headed out, Chan by your side.

At first, he had been reluctant about your night out with his leader. He was scared for your heart. At the same time, he knew how hard you always worked and as he helped you decide on an outfit, he realized it had been a long time since he saw you this excited. So despite his reserves, he helped you figure out a cute outfit with a genuine smile. You deserved to enjoy the city and have fun after all your hard work. No matter what would come out of this night, he would be there for you and that's what mattered the most.

Even though you had spent the last few weeks making sure you kept a certain distance between you and the man at your side, you decided not to care about it tonight. You were tired, extenuated from trying to guard your heart. Chan's attitude in the past few weeks seemed different. Maybe Felix was wrong, perhaps he was ready for something more. So tonight you would be yourself, and enjoy whatever happened. You decided you deserved it. So you didn't refrain from doing anything you might have done before or wanted to do now. You let Chan hold your hand as you walked through the city. You let him hand-feed you a bite of his plate as you chatted in the restaurant. You let him take pictures of you as you walked near the Seine, an honest smile on your lips. You didn't hold back from replacing his curls once the wind had disheveled them. You didn't hold back from laying your head on his shoulder as you looked at the magical view.

You hadn't noticed, but every little touch or attention planted seeds of hope in your heart.

As for him, Chan seemed to beam at the returned normalcy of your relationship. He was more touchy than ever, a sparkle illuminating his eyes as he made jokes with the sole purpose of gorging himself on the sight of the adorable crinkles around your eyes. He shivered at the feather-light touch of your fingers on him when you made sure he looked perfect for some pictures he intended to post on Instagram for his dear STAYs. You gave a toothy grin as you pinched his cheeks before stepping away for more pictures. He didn't hesitate before asking a stranger with a broken French if they could snap one of you two. An amused light danced in your eyes, and you took a sharp breath when you felt his hand slide on your hips, bringing you closer to him for the picture. You lifted your eyes for a millisecond, a foreign but gentle expression on your face. He looked at you with the softest, most tender smile, before you gave him one in return, and rested your head and hand on his chest. You could swear you felt the thundering beat of his heart beneath his shirt. Or maybe you were mistaking it for your own, reverberating in your whole body.

"Vous êtes très mignons," complimented the stranger with a kind smile and a subtle wink.

You thanked him with rosy cheeks, not daring to comment. Chan came up behind you, asking what the stranger had said exactly, but you barely registered the words as you looked at the pictures on your phone. They were stunning. The lights, the view, but most strikingly, the way you looked together. Your heart skipped a beat as you swiped to see the picture the man had taken when you weren't posed yet. When you were still looking at Chan with that surprised and delighted expression and he was looking at you like you were the most precious thing on earth. He saw the picture and put his hand on your shoulders.

"They're beautiful," he said in a hushed voice as if the emotion currently gripping you had its claws dug deep in him too.

You looked back at him with a smile, trying to slow the fast pace of your beating heart. Ancient fears tried grabbing at your heart, but you pushed them away, holding on to your promise. He nodded towards the street, encouraging you to keep walking. His hand grabbed yours effortlessly and squeezed once before he started to walk. Soon, the Eiffel Tower appeared, and you couldn't hold a gasp from escaping your lips.

It was beautiful, stark on the starry night sky, illuminated like a beacon in the dark. Chan chuckled at your marvel and looked fondly at you as you ushered him to walk faster.

You settled on a park bench, his arm going around your shoulders as you cuddled into his side.

"This is perfect," you whispered after a moment of silent contemplation.

"It is," he answered, his lips so close that if he moved a little they would connect with your forehead.

"I'm really happy to be here with you. Thank you for everything."

The man's heart tightened at your words. "No, thank you," his words felt choked and you backed away enough to face him. "You are so amazing. You're the best at handling us and you’re you're so organized. I don't know how we would deal without you and I don't mean just at work. You're truly such a special person to us... to me." Stars danced in your eyes as you looked at him, so open, so inviting. "Thank you for being in my life. I don't know what I would do without you." Softly his lips touched your forehead in a tender kiss. You closed your eyes relishing in the warmth they spread on your skin. Never before had he been so honest about his feelings in your regard. The little declaration made your heart beat even faster. Seeds of hope were slowly blossoming into small, delicate flowers. Maybe, just maybe your proximity tonight meant more for him than you imagined.

Your eyes stayed closed even as he pulled away, even as he softly stroked the side of your face with his thumb. You were so scared to open them, terrified to know what would happen, what you would read on his angelic face. He brought you closer, so close you could feel his breath mingling with yours. You waited, incapable of opening your eyes.

"Y/n," he uttered softly. "Please, look at me."

You obeyed, softly batting your eyelashes, and felt electrified as the intensity contained in his eyes struck you. His gaze slowly tumbled to your soft lips, slightly opened, puffing each breath. His eyes came back up a second with a silent question. You knew he would not do anything before you said yes and it made your heart bloom as you nodded imperceptibly. And just like that, he linked his plush lips with yours. It was earth-shattering in a soft and shaking to the core way.

You backed away for a second to catch your breath and this time was the one to lift your hand, softly pulling at his shirt as you kissed him once more. This second kiss was still soft, but so deep, so full of emotions. It made your hands tremble. You moved in tandem, both the only people in the world who knew the rhythm of this foreign dance. The kiss made you feel tingly like nothing else maintained you to the earth except for his hands on your cheek and his lips on yours. It grew, both of you wanting, needing more. Your hands went up to his jaw, softly caressing the soft skin there, the skin you had wished to touch so many times. A low grumble echoed in his chest, the vibration almost making you purr back. You separated softly, slowly, stealing little kisses before resting your foreheads together, catching your breaths. His thumb fell on your bottom lip, softly plucking it apart from the top one. He was enthralled by the shallow breath you exhaled. Slowly, but surely you remembered where you were. You remembered you were sitting on a bench in France, and you realized you had just kissed. Panic slowly spread through your gaze, threatening to overpower the feeling of daze you had been previously bathed in. He noticed and a shadow seemed to pass in his eyes but before you could analyze it or say something he kissed your lips again. You had no idea what that little peck meant, and he didn't seem to know either but still, he smiled.

"You want to go back?" he whispered, his head still pressed to yours. You nodded quickly and took his hand as you walked back, your mind racing even as it clawed to stay in the daze it had been in for the whole night.

He held your hand on the way back until you felt its warmth leave yours to replace a few errant strands of his hair and didn't find it again. You tried not overthinking. He was allowed not to touch you at all times even after you had shared a kiss. And the fact that he had been all over you all night and suddenly wouldn't hold your hand didn't mean anything, right? You tried reasoning with yourself but couldn't deny that the sudden loss of his touch made an insidious cold creep into your bones.

As you approached the hotel and entered the lobby, Chan was so very polite and cordial. He kept his gaze straight forward and gave a polite smile to the few staff you encountered but didn't say a word to you. Long gone was the laid-back and giggly man you had spent the evening with. The ride in the elevator was silent, and not the kind of comfortable one you had experienced so many times. This one was heavy, full of meaning. You could feel regret emanating from his every gesture. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes but you held on, not wanting him to know how much this affected you.

Felix had warned you that Chan did not have the space in his life for a partner. You knew it, but still, you allowed yourself to let down your guard, and enjoy your time with him. What happened tonight could never happen again. The way this sole kiss had made you feel was to be used as a warning. If one night with him, carefree, had made you feel such a way... you had to keep your distance and be careful. If you let this go on, it would destroy you. You knew it now. Doing this tonight was a mistake because you didn't just like him. You were incontestably in love with Christopher Chan Bahng. And he wasn't and couldn't be because of everything he was.

He walked you to your room and stopped in front of the door. With your hand on the handle, you looked back at him, trying and failing to hide the pain in your eyes.

"Y/n, about tonight I-..." he started.

"Don't," you breathed out. "I know Chan. It won't happen again. I know it didn't mean anything." He shuffled in place, not even denying your claim. Your heart crumpled in pieces, nausea seizing you. "Don't worry about it," you finally whispered as you closed the door on him, on the possibility of him and everything he meant to you.

The little light of hope you felt earlier had been brutally put out. Delicate flowers ripped from their soil with an all-encompassing pain.

You got up the next day feeling like you had been ran over by a truck. Usually, you were a fast and heavy sleeper, but insomnia had seized you until the late hours of the night. But concert day would show you no pity. You had a job to do, and so you plastered a smile on your face and focused on the tasks at hand. You concentrated on compartmentalizing and acting like nothing happened, telling the boys about your amazing night, while omitting the kiss. The show went splendidly well, the boys gained many new supporters with this performance it was nothing short of a flying success. You struggled to feel anything as they smiled at you and spoke excitedly on the drive back to the airport. Once on the plane, you watched Chan sit down with a sour feeling in your chest. In the next row, Felix signaled for you to sit next to him but you couldn't. You hadn't told him the truth about your night, you weren't ready to face the possible 'I told you so' or worse, his tender compassion. Spotting an empty seat beside Minho, you stopped in front of him. "Can I sit here?" At his questioning look you allowed him to see an ounce of the sadness you carried. "Please, I just... don't want to be disturbed," you shared in a small voice.

Immediately his eyes took on a protective expression, he nodded and patted the window seat next to him. Relieved to know no one would get past your protector, you allowed sleep to swallow you and your pain, only waking up once you landed in Korea.

Cars sporadically zoomed by, their lights blinding you and making your eyes squeeze in pain, which actually wasn't that bad a thing considering how tired you were. The zaps of light were at least keeping you awake. The intense few days had taken a great toll on everyone, and the 12-hour flight on top did not help. Still, being the best one in shape you volunteered to drive. Chan in the passenger seat silently stared out the window while the boys were piled up in the back, sleeping peacefully.

You rubbed your eyes for the tenth time, hoping to finally get rid of the fatigue weighing on your bones that made your eyelids feel so damn heavy.

"If you're tired, I can drive."

You turned your head to find Chan staring at you. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are. You have been rubbing your eyes and puffing for 20 minutes now. I got plenty of rest, I can drive the rest of the way."

You tightened your grip on the wheel, "I told you I didn't need you to."

"It's dangerous to drive when you're tired."

"Are you done?!" you lashed out. Turning your head to look at him you swerved on the road. Luckily there hadn't been any other cars, but your heart was beating out of your chest and you suddenly felt wide awake.

Chan stared at you with wide eyes for a second. "Okay, that's it. Pull over."

"No-"

"Y/n. Right now you're putting yourself and my members in danger. I can't allow that."

The sternness of his tone and a look in the mirror at the boys made you pull begrudgingly. You slammed the door and avoided his eyes while you switched sides. He tried to get ahold of you to apologize, but you pulled back as if the contact of his hands on your skin burned you.

"Y/n what's going on?"

"What's going on is that I'm tired. I'm exhausted," you sarcastically chuckled.

He wiped his eyes and sighed. "Listen, I get that but we all are."

You tried to bite your tongue to stop the words from coming out of your mouth but in the end, you couldn't. Maybe it was the extreme fatigue or emotional turmoil you had been going through for the past few weeks but you simply couldn't. You heard yourself speak words you never thought you would. "No. I mean that being in love with you is exhausting."

His arms slackened at his sides as his eyes grew big as saucers.

"You heard me right. I am in love with you. I should have known before, but our night in Paris confirmed that."

"Y/n... I can't give you or anyone anything more, specifically because of that. Being with me is exhausting. I already know that."

Irritation lit a fire in your blood. You were so done with this stupid man and his stupid beliefs that made him act like some fucking martyr, like the center of his soul was the problem while it had never been.

"Can you please stop? I'm tired of hearing you whine about how exhausting you are. No. It's not the actual loving you that's exhausting. You are lovable Chris as much as anyone else and to me even more than others. What's been exhausting is those past few weeks, this night we spent together. It's officially knowing you will never be able to return my feelings but knowing you still acted like you could. Holding my hand, looking at me with that smile. Telling me those nice things. Kissing me like I'm the best thing in your life. It's you playing with me that's killing me."

Tears of rage started rolling down your cheeks and for once you didn't want to keep them in. You wanted him to see how much pain he caused you.

"I never played with you I promise. I really do like you and enjoy being with you. That was never fake."

You let out an icy, short laugh. "And you think that makes it better? That is the definition of playing with someone Chan. A minute ago you told me you couldn't give me anything more. Now you're saying you meant everything. You're admitting to doing all those things even though you knew you never wanted more. And don't try to lie and tell me you were doing this for me or to try and see if you could actually be with me. You only did it for yourself, with your interests in mind. You wanted what I can give you without actually committing."

He dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to keep eye contact with you. He seemed defeated and his silence was nothing short of a confirmation of everything you accused him of. For the first time a word you would have never used in a thousand years to describe him came to mind. You took a step closer, forcing him to look into your eyes.

"I'm pretty sure you enjoy being with me. Everyone wants to be loved, and feel they matter but you act like you don't because you're afraid of what it entails. You're a coward," you seethed. "You build this wall around you, pretending you don't want anyone to love you the way you love them because you want to protect them, because you are just so noble and kind." You paused and scoffed, allowing time for your words to sink in. "But the truth is you're just scared. You're scared shitless Christopher. Scared not to be enough. Scared to be rejected. Scared to experience pain and loss. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE is scared of those things. The difference is we still try."

You took another step, your hands floating up to his face. "I know it means more to love you than it would mean to experience pain and fear." His face contorted as he tried to keep in tears. Your rage softened for a second and you rested your hand on his broad chest. Immediately his hand covered up yours. He took a breath, on the edge of saying something but you wouldn't allow it.

"At least that's what I used to believe." You slipped your hands from his and backed away. "I don't think I can anymore. Not when I have been shown so clearly that my feelings are not respected and understood for what they truly are. I love you, Chris. All I want to do is support and be there for you. I thought you just needed me to prove the depth of my love and I did so for the past year. I thought it would reassure you and kill that fear in your heart. I always thought you were such a kind and loving soul, that you just needed to see I really did love you for all you are. Now I'm starting to think maybe you are as emotionless as you try to make it seem to everyone." His brows furrowed at the accusation. "And you know what? I could even forgive that. I could forgive you if this was how you felt and you were honest with me about it. But no. You keep acting like you can one day return my feelings. You keep stringing me along." Your voice broke on the last words. It was hard to admit the truth. He had broken you in ways you could never explain. You were vulnerable, pathetically screaming at him from the side of the road. But you wouldn't stop. Now that you allowed yourself to be honest, words kept tumbling out of your mouth uncontrollably. You felt a rush to your head, you felt dizzy, feverish. "And you know what's the worst about it? I know about all of this and still, I can't even get rid of those stupid feelings. I wish I could trust myself not to fall further in love with you but I can't. Every time I see you it all comes back. I can't forget your stupid smile and your stupid dimples and your stupid hugs and that stupid kiss we shared."

A deep breath escaped your tired body. "I wish I hated you."

Those tiny, hushed-out words felt like a direct punch to the gut. Physically incapable of speaking, your words echoed in his head eclipsing any other thoughts.

You drew a painful breath. It was over. You said what needed to be said. And even if it did feel good in the moment, you were left an empty shell. Silently, you both got back in the car. Chan took your place in the driver seat while you sat with your hood pulled up facing the window. In the back, seven boys acted as if they were still asleep even when they had heard everything.

🏷️ list: @httpdwaekki @omgsecretsecret @lovesunshinefelix @luvstaymin @jupire @nebugalaxy @drewsandsebastianswife @whyyougottadothatbro @parisanmorovati @greyyeti @chanssmiles @wildtokay @my-neurodivergent-world @xotinytinaxo @ramadiiiisme @potentialgay

[amoressb]

☆ LOWKEY

pairings : childhood bsf!riki x reader ; friends to lovers

synopsis : in which you and riki have been best friends since you guys were in kindergarten. youre both now in your last year of high school and with all that time together, people would think that you guys were bound to end up falling for each other, right? well, that seems to only be the case for riki. hes fallen in love with you after all this time, especially since you guys tend to flirt constantly, but he knows you dont feel the same. right? either way, he doesnt want to risk losing you so he tries to keep his love for you on the lowkey. will it work?

☆.。.：*。.：*・.：*・.。.：*。.：*・.：*・.。.：*。.：*・.☆

will you be mine?

small smau + written wc. 4.05k

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as the riki walked down the quiet street, his heart raced faster than his footsteps. the bouquet of daisies and soft pink roses he held in his trembling hands was a stark contrast to the biting winter air that turned his cheeks redder by the second. he kept glancing at his reflection in store windows, adjusting his scarf nervously.

today wasn’t just any day—it was the day. the day he’d finally confess his feelings to you. for years, you’d been his best friend, his confidante, the one who made him laugh even on his darkest days and now, here he was, walking toward your house, knowing this wasn’t just a casual outing. it was you guys first date.

the thought made his stomach twist in knots. what if you didn’t feel the same? what if he ruined everything? he shook the doubts away, taking a deep breath. you had agreed to this date after all and that had to mean something. he gripped the flowers tighter, his palms sweaty despite the chill.

as your house came into view, he paused, his heart pounding louder than ever. He took another deep breath and forced himself to smile. no turning back now. today was the day he’d tell you—tell you how much you mean to him, how you’d always been more than just a friend. whatever happened next, he was ready to take the leap.

riki stood at your doorstep, heart thudding in his chest as he stared at the polished wooden door. he adjusted his scarf one last time, took a deep breath, and raised a shaky hand to knock. before he could, the door swung open, and there you were, framed by the warm glow of the house behind you.

“hey!” you greeted, your smile wide and welcoming. your cheeks were a little flushed, whether from the cold or something else, he couldn’t tell. you looked effortlessly beautiful, your cozy sweater and scarf making you seem so at ease, while he felt like a bundle of nerves barely holding it together.

“hi,” he managed, his voice cracking slightly. he cleared his throat quickly and thrust the bouquet forward. “uh, these are for you.”

your eyes lit up as you looked at the flowers, and you let out a soft laugh. “they’re beautiful, thank you!” you reached out to take them, your fingers brushing his for a moment, and he swore his heart skipped a beat. “you didn’t have to, you know.”

“i—uh, i wanted to,” he said, fumbling over the words. “i mean, it’s a special day… i mean, not just because of the date—uh, i mean the calendar date, not our date—” he stopped himself, realizing he was rambling. “sorry i’m nervous.”

you laughed again, this time a little softer, your gaze meeting his. “you don’t need to be nervous, it’s just me,” you said, your tone reassuring.

“that’s exactly why i’m nervous,” he admitted before he could stop himself, his cheeks immediately heating up. “i just… i want today to be perfect.”

your expression softened and you stepped closer, your eyes searching his. “it already is,” you said quietly, holding the bouquet to your chest. “come on, let’s go. we’ll figure out the rest together.” he smiled then, feeling a bit of the tension melt away. together. maybe today would go just the way he’d hoped after all.

the crisp winter air nipped at you and rikis noses as you two arrived at the ice skating rink. string lights hung above, casting a warm glow over the sparkling ice. the sound of laughter and the scrape of skates against the rink filled the air. you looked around, your eyes wide with excitement.

“i haven’t been ice skating in ages!” you exclaimed, turning to him with a grin. “me neither,” he admitted, though he wasn’t sure if it was the truth. his focus wasn’t on skating—it was on making this day special for you.

you two picked up your skates and as you two sat on a nearby bench to put them on, he noticed you struggling with the laces. “here let me help” he said, kneeling down before you could protest.“you don’t have to-” you started, but he was already working on the first skate, his fingers deftly tying the laces with care.

“i want to,” he said, glancing up at you with a small, nervous smile. he couldn’t help but notice how close you two were, your face just inches from his. you smiled softly, your gaze lingering on him as he finished the second shoe. “there all set,” he said, standing and offering his hand to help you up.“thanks,” you said, slipping your hand into his. your touch was warm despite the chill, and he found himself reluctant to let go.

on the ice, it was clear you were both rusty. you wobbled almost immediately, letting out a squeal as your arms flailed for balance. “woah, careful!” he said, laughing as he reached out to steady you. you grabbed onto his arm, gripping it tightly.

“you said you were rusty too!” you accused playfully, though your grin gave you away. “i am!” he protested. “but i think i’m a little less… wobbly than you.”

you gave him a mock glare but clung to his arm as you glided—well, shuffled—across the ice together. every now and then, you’d laugh as you nearly lost your balance and he couldn’t help but join in, his nerves slowly melting away with every smile you gave him.

at one point, you tugged him toward the middle of the rink. “let’s try going faster!” you said, your eyes sparkling with mischief. “are you trying to make us both to fall?” he asked, but he couldn’t say no to you. now picking up speed, your hands clasped tightly together. when you stumbled, he caught you, pulling you close to steady you. “see? you’re getting the hang of it,” he said, his voice soft as he looked down at you.

“only because i have you to hold on to,” you replied, your cheeks pink—not just from the cold. you and rikis eyes met and for a moment, the rest of the world faded away.

as you two skated, you found herself stealing glances at him. there was something endearing about the way he focused so intently, like he was determined to make sure you didn’t fall. you felt your heart flutter every time he reached out to steady you or laughed with you.

he, on the other hand, couldn’t stop thinking about how effortlessly you lit up the entire rink. every laugh, every smile, made his chest feel warm despite the freezing air. he wanted this moment to last forever, wanted you to know how much you meant to him.

as you two reached the edge of the rink, both cheeks flushed from the cold and laughter, you slowed to a stop. you leaned on the barrier, brushing a strand of hair from your face, your breath visible in the chilly air.

“you’re not so bad at this after all,” you teased, glancing at him with a playful smile.“thanks,” he replied, grinning. “but i think you’re the one stealing the show out there.”

you laughed, shaking your head. “sure, if by ‘stealing the show,’ you mean almost falling on my face every five seconds.”

“you call it falling, i call it making a dramatic entrance,” he said, earning another laugh from you. the sound made his chest feel light, like he could float away.

standing there for a moment, catching your breath. riki hesitated, the words he wanted to say lingering on the tip of his tongue but instead of speaking, he shoved his hands into his coat pockets and glanced at you.

“you know,” he said, breaking the silence, “all this skating has me craving something sweet. want to go grab some ice cream?” your eyes lit up and you turned to him with an incredulous laugh. “ice cream? in this weather?”

he shrugged, trying to play it cool despite the slight tremor of nerves in his voice. “what can i say? ice cream is a year round thing.” you tilted your head, pretending to think it over. “hmm, i suppose i could be convinced. but only if you promise not to steal all the toppings.”

“deal,” he said, his grin widening. he offered his hand, and when you took it, your fingers fit perfectly in his.

as you two left the rink and walked toward the nearest ice cream shop, laughter echoed into the crisp evening air. neither of you said it out loud, but you both felt it—this was more than just a good day. this was the start of something you’d both remember for a long time.

the warmth of the ice cream shop was a welcome contrast to the crisp winter air outside. the smell of freshly made waffle cones filled the air and the glass display case showcased an array of brightly colored ice cream flavors. you pressed your face to the glass, scanning the options with wide eyes.

“okayyy,” she said, pointing dramatically. “strawberry cheesecake, always the winner.”

“solid choice,” he said, nodding. “but i think i’m going with cookie dough.”

“you’re so predictable,” you teased, shooting him a grin.

“and you’re not?” he countered with a laugh. “strawberry cheesecake every time?”

“hey, don’t knock it till you try it,” you replied as you two stepped up to the counter to place your orders.

minutes later, you and riki were sitting at a small table by the window, your cones in hand. outside, the world was still covered in a blanket of winter, but in here, the laughter and warmth felt like a bubble just for the two of you.

“so,” you said between bites of your ice cream, “do you always eat ice cream in freezing weather or is this just a special occasion?” riki shrugged, smirking. “ice cream’s good anytime but i guess today feels… special.” you paused, your ice cream hovering in the air and smiled softly at him. “yeah…it does.”

as you took another bite, a tiny smudge of ice cream clung to the corner of your mouth. he noticed it instantly, his heart skipping a beat.

“you’ve got a little…” he said, motioning to his own mouth. you frowned, confused. “what? where?”

“here,” he said softly, leaning in. before you could protest, he reached out with his thumb and gently wiped the ice cream away. his touch lingered for a moment, his hand close to your cheek.

your breath caught and you sat still, looking up at him. your eyes met and the playful banter faded into silence. the world around you two seemed to blur, the warmth of the shop and the soft hum of conversation fading into the background. all tiki could see was you—the way your eyes sparkled under the shop’s lights, the slight flush on your cheeks.

you felt your heart racing as his gaze held yours. his hand dropped slowly and for a moment, neither of you spoke.

“thanks,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper, your lips curving into a small, shy smile. “anytime,” he replied softly, his own cheeks a little pink now.

the moment lingered between you both, full of unspoken words and something new, something neither of you were ready to name just yet. then, as if on cue, you laughed lightly, breaking the tension.

“you’re lucky i didn’t get sprinkles,” you said, your tone teasing again. he chuckled, grateful for the ease in your voice. “true, that could’ve been a real disaster.”

you both laughed and just like that, the moment passed, leaving behind a warmth that neither of you could shake as you finished your cones and ventured back out into the winter air.

as you two stepped out of the ice cream shop, you and rikis laughter lingering in the frosty air, he glanced at you with a small, nervous smile. his hands were tucked into his coat pockets and his heart raced as he finally worked up the courage to say it.

“so, uh… i have one more surprise for you,” he said, his voice tentative.

you turned to him, your eyes lighting up with curiosity. “another surprise? you’re really pulling out all the stops today.”he chuckled, shrugging. “well, i just thought you deserved a day that’s… special. come on, you’ll see.”

intrigued, you followed him as you two walked through the softly illuminated streets. the quiet crunch of snow beneath you and his boots were accompanied by your soft hums of contentment. eventually, you two arrived at a gated entrance glowing with an otherworldly light. a sign read “the imaginarium”, and through the entrance, the entire area seemed to sparkle and shimmer like a dreamscape.

your breath hitched as you took it all in. “this… this is amazing,” you whispered. “come on,” he said, offering his hand. you didn’t hesitate, slipping your fingers into his. your touch sent a warmth coursing through him that no winter chill could touch.

inside, the Imaginarium was a wonderland of lights and color. twinkling displays of glowing flowers, cascading streams of light that looked like waterfalls, and luminous arches stretched across the pathways. ypu walked slowly, your eyes wide with wonder, marveling at each glowing creation.

“this is incredible,” she said, your voice filled with awe. you pointed at a field of tiny glowing mushrooms that pulsed gently with shifting hues. “look at that—it’s like a fairy tale come to life.”

riki barely heard you. his gaze wasn’t on the lights or the displays—it was on you. the way your eyes sparkled brighter than the lights themselves, the way your breath fogged in the cold as you spoke, the soft, genuine smile that hadn’t left your face since they’d entered.

you let out a delighted laugh when you spotted a tunnel of stars, their golden light shimmering above like a celestial canopy. as you walked ahead to admire it, your hand still in his, riki couldn’t take his eyes off you. the glow of the lights danced across your face, illuminating your soft features in a way that took his breath away.

you turned to him, catching him mid stare. “what?” you asked, tilting your head slightly, a playful smile on your lips. he blinked, caught off guard. “nothing,” he said quickly, his voice soft. but then, unable to stop himself, he added, “it’s just… you look so happy. i love seeing you like this.”

your cheeks turned pink, though whether it was from the cold or his words, he couldn’t tell. “well, this is kind of magical,” you admitted, your voice quieter now. “thank you for bringing me here.” “anytime,” he said, his tone sincere. “i mean it.”

you and riki continued walking, your hand still in his. every now and then, you’d stop to admire another display, gasping softly at the details, while he simply stood beside you, his gaze never leaving you. to him, the lights, the beauty of the imaginarium—they all paled in comparison to you. the way you lit up, the way your joy was so genuine, it made everything else feel like a backdrop to your presence.

at one point, you and him reached a small pond surrounded by glowing reeds and lily pads that seemed to float on the surface, their soft hues reflecting in the water. you leaned against the railing, taking it all in with a dreamy expression. riki stood beside you, his heart full, unable to stop himself from memorizing every detail of your face—the curve of your lips, the way your eyes shone, the gentle way your scarf framed your features.

you turned to him again, your smile soft this time. “you’ve been quiet, are you okay?” he nodded, his throat tight with emotion he wasn’t sure he could put into words. “yeah,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “i’m more than okay.” your gaze lingered on him for a moment before you squeezed his hand. “good,” you said, your voice just as soft.

as you two continued through the glowing wonderland, hand in hand, he knew one thing for certain : he could have spent the entire night in the imaginarium and never looked at a single light, as long as he was with you.

the path through the imaginarium led them to a grove bathed in soft, golden light. the trees were wrapped in strands of tiny, glimmering bulbs that cascaded down like waterfalls, swaying gently in the breeze. overhead, a canopy of suspended orbs glowed like floating moons, their light shifting from white to gold to the faintest pink. the snow beneath their feet sparkled faintly, reflecting the magic of the lights above.

you walked ahead of him, your hand still in his, your soft laughter carrying on the crisp night air. your eyes were alight with wonder, darting from one glowing creation to another. occasionally, you’d point something out, a strand of lights that mimicked shooting stars or a delicate sculpture made entirely of shimmering glass. your voice was filled with awe and your smile was brighter than any light around them.

but while you admired the world around you, riki admired you. the way the lights danced across your face, casting delicate patterns on your skin, made you look almost otherworldly. your hair caught the golden glow, framing you in a soft halo that seemed to pulse with every step you took. your cheeks were flushed from the cold, your breath visible in tiny clouds and your scarf was slightly askew, but to him, you had never looked more perfect.

you stopped beneath an archway of intertwining lights, the beams curving overhead like the ribs of a glowing cathedral. you turned back to him, your eyes wide with excitement. “look at this,” you said, gesturing upward. “it’s like standing inside a constellation.”

riki barely heard your words. his heart was pounding in his chest as he took you in. your face, so full of wonder, seemed to glow from within. every detail of you—your sparkling eyes, the gentle curve of your lips, the way your hand fit so perfectly in his—was etched into his mind. in that moment, the beauty of the lights around them seemed to fade, paling in comparison to you.

it hit him like a sudden wave..this is it. the feeling that had been growing inside him, simmering quietly for years, could no longer be ignored. seeing you like this, so radiant and full of life, made him realize that no moment would ever be more perfect. he couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“hey,” he said, his voice soft, yet steady. you turned to him fully, your head tilting slightly. “what is it?” you asked, your expression curious.

he took a deep breath, his fingers tightening around yours. the words felt heavy, like they carried every ounce of emotion he had been holding back. “i need to tell you something,” he began, his voice quieter now, almost trembling with vulnerability.

your expression shifted, your eyes searching his face. “you’re being serious,” you said softly, your tone laced with concern and curiosity.

“i am,” he said, nodding. he took a step closer, so close now that he could see the reflection of the lights in your eyes, the way they shimmered like liquid gold. “i’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and… i can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

your brows furrowed slightly but you didn’t say anything. you just waited, giving him your full attention, your hand still warm in his.

“you—” he paused, swallowing hard as he gathered his thoughts. “you mean so much to me, more than i think you realize. and today, seeing you like this, seeing you so happy, so… beautiful…” he trailed off for a moment, his chest tightening. “i realized that i can’t go another day without saying it.”

your lips parted slightly, your breath visible in the cold air as you stared at him, your expression unreadable. “saying what?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

he exhaled shakily, his gaze locked on yours. “that i care about you..not just as a friend, not just as someone i love spending time with… but as someone i’ve fallen for. completely.”

your eyes widened slightly, the lights above catching the faint shimmer of emotion in them. the world around you two seemed to pause, the sounds of distant laughter and soft music fading into silence. all he could hear was his own heartbeat, thundering in his chest as he waited for your to respond.

he took another breath, his voice growing steadier as the emotions poured out of him. “you’ve always been this… light in my life, you know? like no matter how hard things get or how much the world feels like it’s falling apart, you’re there and suddenly everything makes sense again. you make things better, just by being you.”

you were silent, your lips slightly parted as you listened, your hand still in his. the golden light above them danced across your face, illuminating the soft flush of your cheeks, the slight shimmer in your eyes.

“you’re the first person i want to talk to when something amazing happens,” he continued, his voice filled with quiet urgency. “and the only one i want to see when things feel impossible. i look at you, and it’s like..it’s like the world slows down. and today, seeing you here, like this..it’s made me realize something i’ve been trying to deny for too long.”

he took a small step closer, the space between them narrowing until he could feel the faint warmth radiating from you despite the winter chill. his gaze softened as he looked down at you, taking in every detail of your expression.

“i realized that i don’t just like being with you. i need to be with you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper now. “you make everything brighter, everything better. and i-” he paused, his throat tightening, but he pressed on. “i’ve fallen in love with you, completely. and i don’t know where this will go, or how you feel, but i had to tell you because you deserve to know just how much you mean to me.”

your eyes glistened as you stared at him, your breath hitching slightly. the silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken feelings, as the golden lights flickered softly above. he held his breath, waiting for your response, his heart pounding like a drum in his chest and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.

riki took another step closer, your hands still intertwined, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. his heart raced, the weight of the moment pressing against his chest. the lights around them seemed to blur into a soft golden haze, as if the universe itself was holding its breath, waiting for what would happen next.

“i know this might feel like a lot,” he said, his voice quieter now but no less earnest. “and i know this changes everything but i also know that i don’t want to keep wondering, or waiting, or pretending these feelings don’t exist.”

his gaze locked with yours, his eyes soft and full of vulnerability. “you mean so much to me, more than i can ever put into words and i want to be the one who makes you smile like this every day. i want to be by your side, not just as your friend, but as..something more.”

he let out a breath, the faintest mist forming in the cold air as he finally asked the question that had been building inside him for so long. “will you be my girlfriend?”

the words hung in the air between them, fragile yet powerful, carrying every ounce of hope, fear, and love he felt for you. your eyes widened slightly, your breath catching as you stared at him, the golden lights reflecting in your gaze.

you opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out at first. the world seemed to slow, every second stretching out endlessly as he waited, his heart pounding so loudly he was sure she could hear it. your lips parted again and you drew in a breath, your expression unreadable.

and then she gave him a response—

wouldn’t you like to know - (hobie brown from spiderman)

☆.。.：*。.：*・.：*・.。.：*。.：*・.：*・.。.：*。.：*・.☆

taglist - @notab1tchwho @minjicharm @heartheejake @heenzie @annoyingbitch83 @getoxo @sunooluuvr @moony-mari @luvgiselle @yjwxfxr @crimson-reaper576 @jungwonsjellies @ikeulove @inaisis @jiiyen @stvrriki @keylimejake @seungminsapuppy @who-tf-soddhi @wonziz @enhytan @reikaxslvr @i03jae @jkslvsnella @kamfaye @yangjungwonnie @babygirlskz98 @heirdollies @noiiny @brendz00 @sugarikiz @nctrawberries @aishigrey @h33seungz00 @en-ctzen @bananna-12 @rikidaze @nikistar @lilifiedeans @vixialuvs @strawberrieswithchocolateo3o @jenniferecand @jakeslvt @swanyvess @kittsnewera @rairaiblog @haerinheartss @hooneyz-luver @rikikiynikilcykiki @ribbioniki

[unriding]

a … a gift from the talented @kruinka 🥹 thank you so much!! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

[ignoringmyexams]

Imagine a jason that comes back to gotham, and establishes his criminal empire, all while (accidentally, hes still under the influence of the forbidden apple flavored kool-aid) helping the little guy. The bats are freaking out, trying to figure out who he is, but they cant, ots almost like he is a ghost (jason is competent, and knows how to go inder the radar). Then imagine him planning the attack on tim in the titans tower, but being informed by one of his goons about a deal black mask is doing. He shows up just in time to save tim, as he is being sold to the highest bidder. The sheer anger of seeing a kid like tim go through the same stuff he did while he was out on the streets breaks him out of the pits influence (the fact that tim is a rich kid, with no self preservation, hits jason even harder). He realises that putting tim permanently on the bench will help no one, and that sacrificing children in a crusade is not something that is unique to batman.

He saves tim from black mask, but simply drops him off by the manor. Tim is unconcious, and has no way of explaining to bruce that the red hood saved him, and so batman assumes the red hood was the one to hurt him. This makes him increasingly paranoid.

At the same time jason is realising how he can use his power to help the people of gotham (all while keeping up the crime lord front ofc), and jason makes the red hood a beacon of strength and hope for the gothamites, in a way that batman never could with his scare-tactics. The gothamites are helpful, and listens to him, and rallies aroumd the red hood if they need anyting done, from bullying a corrupt politician, to helping parents clean up a playground.

Jason finally has a support network and a community around him of gothamites and goons, and so he lets his guard down a little. Big mistake. Huge.

Batman catches a glance of his face in some random surveillance camera, and (as the paranoid, slightly mentally unstable individual he is), figures out who the red hood is, and automatically chooses to look past the good that hes done (yknow, significantly lowering crime rates, bringing a larger sense of unity to the city, cleaning up the streets, cleaning up after batmans big fights with his supervillains that destroy the city), and automaticalmy assumes he must be a bad guy, if hes not following his rules.

I can imagine batman telling the batkids to STAY AWAY, so ofc they do the opposite, and while batman assumes the red hood is evil incarnate, the rest of the batkids have a civil relationship with him. Nightwing goes on missions with the red hood, red robin trades intel with him, spoiler comes to him for advice on how to handle being a family disappointment (something the red hood gives suspiciously good advice for, almost like he knows how it is to be a batkid), robin keeps throwing jabs at him, that the other heroes dont know how he gets away with (damian and jason know eachother from the league, i will die on this hill, they love eachother), all the while bruce is growing increasingly worried for their safety (they dont understand why, after all, batman hasnt told them who the red hood is)

The thing is, batman is not the only one who has seen pictures of the red hoods face.

Joker wants to recreate jasons death, and make sure it sticks this time, with batman watching as extra entertainment. And so he plots.

Batman is constantly fighting the red hood, showing up to spoil his plans, and even going after his goons to send a message. He grows increasingly more violent and angry as jasons actions towards others dont reflect how batman thinks that they should be. He sees glimpses of his sons compassion in the way he helps others, and this doesn't mach up with how bruce assumes jason would act after coming out of the pit (because of course someone, probably tim, would figure out that was what happened to him), and even worse, jasons death did not make him violent and bitter (outside of the pits influence), as it did to bruce. And so he has to come to terms with the fact that his son has become better than him, without his guidance.

Jason doesnt even retaliate, just throws the batman off his scent, or fights him off. He is never overly violent, to bruce it just seems like batman is an annoyance to him. And he is right. Jason is simply tired of dealing with a father who obviously doesn't accept him, and has decided to end all hope of ever coming back to the family. Even the batkids notice how uninterested the red hood is towards batmans threats.

Although jason is no longer a regular human, he is still not infallible. He ends up getting so hurt that he has to stay off the streets for a while. And things get bad. People have simply gotten used to how safe the streets have become, and so the chaos that comes with a missing red hood comes as a shock. Batman is focused on fighting his self appointed nemesises, and going on missions to space with the league. The batkids and red hoods goons try to pick up the slack, but they dont have the knowledge, trust from the people, or the firepower to make up for the loss of the red hood. So jason has to return before he is fully healed. The pain hes in makes him slower (because he wont take any drugs for it), and so someone manages to get a hit on him.

He wakes up in a warehouse, tied up with batman.

The joker has the time of his life beating the shit put of jason infront of bruce. Harley quinn has even more fun using her competence as a psychologist to make these two emotionally stunted men actually realize how the other is feeling.

The joker finally has had his fill of demonstrating to batman how he hit jason with a crowbar, and leaves them to be blown up. Bruce is trying to alleviate some of his own guilt complex by giving jason a lecture, and blaming him for dying. Jason is simply fed up and bored.

The bomb goes off.

Jason is still alive. He forces himself out of his restraints. Apparently gotham wasnt finished with him yet, and so he could already see a way out of the now burning warehouse. He feels numb. His red helmet had come off at some point, and he shoves it back on. Jason then turnes to bruce. He too is okay, but unconcious.

The batkids arrive at the warehouse, scared shitless, because their dad, and the red hood who they now (because of damian) know is jason, are both in the raging inferno. Word of what has happened has also reached the citizens of gotham, who surround the warehouse in respect of their (assumed dead) red hood.

Everyone stares as a figure emerges from the fire, limping as they carry someone over their shoulders. The glowing eyes of the red helmet is a bright contrast to the soot and dried blood covering the red hood and batmans bodies. The red hood grunts in stoic pain as he lowers batmans body to the ground infront of nightwing and the batmobile.

Jason turns around and leaves. Either to murder the joker (and help a cat out of a tree), or to go home, treat his wounds and curl up on his lumpy sofa and finish his jane austen book. You decide.

The city no longer belongs to batman, its people have chosen the red hood as its protecter. It depends how mentally unstable bruce is, and how much the batman persona has taken over his life, but the control of the city being taken away from him either gives bruce the break to heal, and eventually reconnect with all of his sons, or it breaks him completely, and lead to an all out war against the red hood. Idk.

[theflopwonder]

Me, naively: Omg haha what if I wrote a fic abt the party at the fortress of solitude in superman/batman 26 as an excuse to do some Tim & Kon character study?

Me, after reading 4 separate comic runs from 4 different editorial teams who were OBVIOUSLY not talking to each other AT ALL to try and figure out the timeline & other logistics of this party: WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP THIS HOUSE LIKE THIS GOOD GOD??????????

[ihfmseatsoch]

Big bro Daisuke……

big bro daisuke....... 🤭 i dont think this was even a request but i threw together a fic anyway -3-

warning: incest, suggestive

word count: 1.5k

fem!reader

(yes the fact that youre both playing smash bros is a sneaky little joke. because. um. youre smashing your bro. 😁 okay now clap and double over in laughter for me)

—

Daisuke acts more like an annoying little brother, rather than the eldest.

Of course, that didn't hinder your relationship with him. In fact, being able to be immature and dumb with him brought you closer together. Whether it be attempting (and failing) a kickflip competition that got him sent to the ER for a broken arm, or baking brownies with a concerning lack of the required ingredients as quietly as you could at 2:00 AM, you were attached at the hip.

Sometimes quite literally, when you'd lay beside eachother on his bed, playing Super Smash Bros on your original Wii that shockingly hasn't killed itself from old age.

Daisuke snickered to himself as he glanced over at you, his hand clenched around the remote. He was sitting upright in his bed, a pillow propped up against his back. On the screen, his Kirby proceeded to kick your Peach’s ass.

"No fuckin' fair, Dai," You whine childishly, "You never even give me a pity win." You watch yourself die in-game for the fifth time. It wasn't his fault he was incredibly lucky at games of all kinds; video, board, whatever it may be. It pissed you off to no end sometimes.

Daisuke laughed obnoxiously, a self-satisfied smile on his face. He was gloating over your losses, as per usual. "Pity win?" he teased, "Maybe I would give you wins if you were actually, y'know, good at this."

"You cheat." You accuse him, as many other have time and time again. It was ridiculous how he won EVERYTHING. "You're a cheater and a liar and a fiend."

He let out an exaggerated gasp, feigning offense. He made a show of placing a hand over his chest. "I never cheat!" he lied through his teeth, "I just happen to be the most natural, talented gaming prodigy... ever."

"Whatever." You nudge your leg against his, roughly. You cross your arms and throw your own controller across the bed, turning your head away for even more dramatic effect. "You don't love me enough to let your sweet, cute, and exceptionally beautiful little sister win. For shame, Dai."

Daisuke chuckled at your display. He leaned in, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you into a tight embrace. "Awww, come on, you know I love 'ya." He giggled, ruffling your hair. "But sorry, not sorry. No easy wins for you. I gotta keep my winning streak going, y'know?"

You squirm in his grasp, kicking your legs and trying to shove him off, but he's surprisingly strong, given his lanky figure. "Nooo, cheaters don't get hugs!" You grunt and struggle to worm away, although you're not exactly putting much genuine effort into it. You secretly don't want him to let go at all.

Your complaints only cause him to squeeze you tighter, trapping you against his chest, restraining your flailing limbs and preventing your escape. He snickered at your fruitless attempts. "Sounds like someone's just a sore looosseerrr." Daisuke taunted.

He tried to ignore the way your ass keeps pressing against his crotch, grinding and writhing... on his life he tried, but he's only a man. A young one, at that, so he doesn't exactly possess the willpower to contain himself. "You're so mean. Just plain cruel." You pout, finally giving up as your body goes lax in his arms.

Daisuke tries to focus on anything but the way your body feels against his. It's hard to ignore, when he can feel his pants start to get just a teensy bit tighter. He tries to play it off cool, pretending like he doesn't feel it at all. "I'm just taking my role as the big brother seriously. Gotta show you who's in charge." he shifted a little, subtly moving you to a more... comfortable position. Away from his boner, which he popped embarrassingly quick. Damned hormones, always ruining his life.

The new position doesn't exactly help him, because you still feel something hard bump into your backside, and you curiously feel around for whatever it was. "Dude, I think the remote is literally under my ass right now." You comment, inconspicuously. Daisuke wants to melt, evaporate, rain down from the clouds, and evaporate again.

"N-No, it's just, uhhh- umm–" He failed miserably to come up with a decent lie, a deep blush rapidly spreading across his face. How does one get themselves out of a situation like this? Then again, not many brothers get hard from their own sister. Right? He doesn't want to dwell on the thought.

How does one get themselves out of a situation like this? Then again, not many brothers get hard from their own sister. Right? He doesn't want to dwell on the thought. Daisuke tenses when your hand finds it's way to his dick, and he mentally scolds himself for not wearing boxers under his sweatpants, but he didn't exactly think this would happen today.

You immediately notice it's unusual texture, shape, and size–

You whip your head around, and stop dead in your tracks at what you see.

Then, you promptly shriek and back away from your brother. And his hard-on.

All the blood left his face. He was horrified. Absolutely mortified. "W– Wait! Listen, I can explain–!" he frantically tried to fix this situation, his voice cracking a bit more than normal.

"Ewww, how did that even happen?" You cover your face so you don't have to make eye contact with the tent in his pants any longer. Although, you can't deny the hint of... morbid curiosity you feel. From what you felt, it wasn't small, but not too big, either. Maybe slightly above average. Jesus, you just grabbed your brother's cock on accident, and now you're mentally calculating it's exact width and circumference. What the fuck.

Daisuke's face was burning, humiliation settling over his entire being. "I-I don't know, it just happens sometimes! I can't control it, I swear!" He groaned, desperately tried to defend himself, although he could barely speak coherently. He was internally screaming how he's the worst brother, just the worst. He'd never live this down, even in death.

Suddenly, it all clicks together in your mind.

"Oh my god," You mouth gapes as you move your hands away from your face, "Was it because of me?"

What a detective you are.

"N-no! No! Absolutely not!" He exclaims, furiously shaking his head. He's a horrible liar. A very horrible liar. And he knew it. There was no point trying to deny it. He'd already dug his own grave.

You roll your eyes, unconvinced.

"Uh huh, okay." Seeing him so red and ashamed makes you feel a bit of pity towards him. He's barely out of his teens, of course he's not gonna be able to control the random increase in blood flow to his dick. With a sigh, you scoot back towards him, granting your brother some mercy. "Look, hey, it's fine. I'm not, like, never going to speak to you again."

Daisuke looked up at you with such a guilty and pitiful expression. He was silently praying and begging you to just, forget this whole experience happened. He looked just like a sad, kicked puppy. He sheepishly spoke up, his voice timid and quiet. "So... you're not... mad at me? Or grossed out?"

"Ehh... maybe a little grossed out. But no, I'm not mad." You shrug. To be honest, you're barely grossed out anymore. Maybe it's your own hormones talking, but you can't help but find yourself... intrigued. Like you want to question why exactly his body reacted the way it did. Was he into you? Boys don't get hard from girls they don't like.

And it's not like you haven't thought he's attractive once or twice. Or fifty times.

"O– Okay, a little grossed out is better than completely grossed out..." He murmured, rubbing the back of his neck. Noticing the look on your face, like you're deep in thought, he spoke up, still looking incredibly bashful. "Why... why are you looking at me like that?"

"...I could help you out." The words leave your mouth before you can think twice. You just pray you're not making this moment even worse. "If you wanted me to."

Your offer was like a complete surprise slap to the face. Daisuke looked like his brain has just short circuited and exploded. He blinked, dumbfounded. Had he heard you right? He looked flustered, and confused. All he could mutter out was, "W-what— what do you mean?"

"I mean... must be annoying to just... get hard out of nowhere, yeah? I'm just saying that... whenever it happens, you could maybe come to me, and..." You grow frustrated trying to explain yourself in a way that sounds PG-13. "Look, I'm just trying to be an ever so thoughtful and considerate sister, here."

Daisuke's mind was in a state of near paralysis. He was trying to process what you were suggesting to him, the most embarrassing, yet tempting idea that ever entered his mind. After a while of fumbling, he was finally able to meekly utter, "S-So... you're saying, I can ask you... y'know... to help me out? Whenever?"

It was absurd, the idea of doing things like that with his blood relative. Yet the thoughts racing through his dirty mind only served to make the tent in his pants that he's been trying so hard to conceal grow more uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Whenever." You lean in, gently moving his hands aside so you can get a good look at his... problem, a bead of precum already dampening the fabric.

"Including right now, if you're down."

[ailius-suffers-through-art]

did a redraw of an old piece from an au!

( below is the original. its in bad condition because its sorta been all over the place in the past few years )

but yeah ive been calling it Transcendental Anomalies in my notes so far.

The premise is that Dipper has been having strange dreams after his 19th birthday. Dreams where he finds himself exploring a weird world filled with bizarre rules and horrifying creatures. Oddly enough, he isn't all that scared by the world and takes to figuring out its secrets and enjoying the new experience.

It's constantly raining. Filled with dilapidated buildings. Stairways that crumble and shift under your feet. A 100 step pathway that leads to another dimension. Parts of the world that crumble into the void and are consumed by static. A ballroom dance with shadows.

An upside down clock tower above the void. Endless staircases into the sky and void alike.

Streets crawling with shadows. Black hair leaking out of crevices. Eyes that watch you from holes.

A bus that travels around, taking you god knows where. Tall buildings with elevators. A giant neon red cross always further in the distance. A heavy fog over collapsing buildings. Black torii gates leading to a dark forest. A woman carrying an umbrella whose gaze you must never meet. A parade of tall and lanky men and women twirling down the streets. Gigantic beasts that rise from the void. A library with no top or bottom extending endlessly where bodies fall from the top floors. Festivals of shadows where human flesh and other such things are sold. Red paper lanterns float down the festival lanes and hang from special buildings. A starless night sky that hangs over the world like a black void.

These are only a few of the sights Dipper sees there.

No humans are seen in the world because they are very quickly eaten by the creatures within or they're in hiding. Ghosts and spirits roam the streets. The smart people who visit make sure they dont stay long. The ones who survive dont stay long enough to get found.

At one point, Dipper tries dancing with the blind dancers. This is where we meet our second protagonist, Bill.

Bill decides to come visit the Middle Ground for a while for a vacation from being a menace. While there, he goes to the ballroom to have a hoot and starts talking with one of the blindfolded creatures (in human form since its not the easiest to work around his own triangular anatomy for square dancing).

They swap names and chat as they dance, Bill looking down on the dumb monster as a lower lifeform. Still, he gets curious about what the thing looks like under the blindfold and pulls it up. As one has already guessed, the dance partner was Dipper.

Bill is surprised to find his partner wasn't actually one of the creatures, but puts 2 and 2 together when he sees the birthmark. Unfortunately, he's not great at metaphorical math and just assumes its another demon on vacation. Thinks the guy is pretty dumb for following the rules of this world, but shrugs it off.

They meet several more times in the middle ground, exploring the more dangerous facets of it, until Dipper moves to gravity falls with his sister to take care of his great uncle, and finds he can no longer leave.

as you can probably tell, this au has a LOT and i mean a LOT of inspiration from internet urban legends. if you see something you think is a reference, it most definitely is. i have...... so many gravity falls aus. im still a bit stuck in 2014 gf fandom tumblr. if things dont hold up with the book of bill canon forgive me (I haven't read it yet sadly...) but yeah its a bit trope heavy but i love urban legends and horror stories so i wanted to make a world where all of them can fit together nicely. thats how this came about.

[chokingonchairs]

How to edit! Part 2… Tips and tutorial!

So for resources that you can find through ibispaint x, click the little image icon at the top right corner, and the ones I have circled are ones I have used or plan on using! The pixel one is usually only if you plan on making pixels/favicons !!

As far as filters go for me these are what I use and how to find them!

So for the basics of using ibispaint x.. you can figure out as you go and can probably find out the basics of the interface through their website and/or their in app tutorial as you click on buttons and such 🫶🏻 don’t be afraid to mess around with buttons, but just know if you exit out of ur canvas/project or ur app closes, you will not be able to double-tap/click to remove past mistakes or undo anything.. so like don’t mess around too much and keep that in mind while editing.. 😭 I’ve done it a few times while drawing on ibis (because I am also an artist) and editing ofc

Also DONT merge ur layers. If someone asks for proof you made ur graphic, even if you have 100 layers.. don’t merge them because all you’ll have is a speedpaint and if you don’t add ur watermark too on top of it.. they’re gonna think u stole it.. so just like keep it mind.. 😭

Here are some fonts that you can download for ibispaint x! If you plan on making a blog, watermark, or anything text related! Ibispaint x does have a lot of free fonts you can use through their app but having some fun downloaded fonts is also great! I used to have a massive collection but I’m on my iPad now 😭 so I have one.. it’s romance fatal goth LOL

I’ll have to make a thread for this because you can only add 10 images to ur posts so… if I have anything else to add that’s image related I’ll reblog some more things..

Pinterest is gonna be ur best-friend 😭 so is tumblr.. and rentry resources!

I’m gonna make a video on how I colour graphics and such probably tomorrow because it’s almost 2 a.m and probably will be past 2 a.m when I’m done making this..

Anyways.. HERES SOME RENTRIES FOR RESOURCESSS AND ALSO ON HOW TO GRADIENT YOUR TEXT ON TUMBLR!!

Rentry Rentry 2 Rentry 3 Gradient text tutorial!

[kroovv]

previous anon here: dorian's predatory business practices are a lot like wattpad's if you know anything about that—they pocket a huge portion of the proceeds for every VN they publish and only give very few pennies to the actual authors, essentially using other people's work to line their own pockets, while pretending to provide a great platform for artists. Last I heard they also have terms that say whatever you upload to them becomes their property IP. it's the kind of situation where they convince artists its the easiest option for publishing a VN, when in reality there are other ways that are just as or even more simple that allow u to keep full ownership of ur work. I also have a grudge against them specifically because they bought up an indie VN studio that I was a fan of, put previously free stuff behind a paywall and otherwise ran it into the ground, and their social media people were very unprofessional and sent threatening messages to fans for making fan content.

Renpy takes some learning, but it's really simple once you know how it works. And besides renpy there are other VN engines that are even simpler (Unity even has a VN library called Fungus thats very simple and straightforward to use) TyranoBuilder is also a popular one. As for chapters, there are absolutely people on itchio updating their VNs a chapter at a time, although i dont know if its in the way youd want; pushing each separate chapters as updates to the main game, or releasing each chapter as a separate game come to mind as options.

(i'd honestly even offer to convert the game to renpy for you since ive been working extensively with renpy for the past 2 years and am very familiar with it and how to work it, if it meant i could save one artist from the clutches of dorian, but that feels too much like overstepping 😅)

So i am not sure if maybe they have changed things, but with games self published to them they own 0% of that IP so I will own Gravehearts 100% only if they where to buy it from me then they’d own it but i personally do not see that happening lmao. From what i understand about it is it is like Webtoons but for VNs anyone can upload to it but they still own it like how i still own Horizon Walkers even though it’s on Webtoons and Tapas. They do take a % of what you make so that is why I would love to also have my own app or game on itch as well!

I have a decent following for my artwork but who knows what that vendiagram is for people who like VNs is, so if i where to publish the game somewhere by itself i don’t know how well it would do because I don’t know if i have the audience for it, also i don’t know if people would even see it when i post about it cause social media sucks. So like posting HW to webtoons so that people who read comics might see it that’s what I am kind of hoping for with posting Gravehearts to Dorian.

Again with Gravehearts i own it 100%, with publishing games there you can chose when and where people pay for things, and people do paywall love interests and main story stuff but i fully do not intend to do that because it is ✨shitty✨. So I will not be putting any main story or love interests behind paywalls the only thing I would do as paid stuff are optional scenes with a character where you can get a nice full art piece of them from it! (Im also trying to figure out if i could put some kind of code on the image so people can download high res versions of it as phone wallpapers! So you’re actually paying for something more tangible)

However like i said previously i would love to make my own app for it, or something like an app or on itch, but i could maybe try do it in tangent with Dorian, so people who don’t want to support them can still support the story somewhere else! But it might take a little while for me to be able to do something like that because it’d be learning a whole bunch of new stuff and it is just me but I will do my best 👍

[thedisablednaturalist]

I dont know if it’s something youve been asked before, and i dont know how to really phrase my thoughts. But whats it like working in like environmental things well disabled? Have you met many, or any, other disabled people in the field? I’m 16, and ever since I was little I’ve had so much passion for environmental education in particular, and it was a field I wanted to go into for a long time. Sadly it seems like my body has other plans, I’m currently at a point where I might have to drop out of highschool because managing class and disability is too much, and so college feels impossible. And when it was mostly mental stuff I had thought about maybe joining americorps or something because it looked like they’ll take people with a ged and then I could still do work I care about, but I’ve only ever met one physically disabled person doing anything related to the environment and stuff (there’s a person with leg braces and a service dog who works at the local aquarium) so I never really get a chance to ask about this stuff

so idk, sorry if I’m rambling a lot and hard to understand. If it makes you feel any better I’ve cornered every environmental educator I’ve met the last year or so (and I go to a project based environmental charter school thing, so I meet a lot) and asked them a lot of questions too. Especially since my school encourages us to think about future careers and what skills we need

so idk, I want to know. What’s it like? Is it hard? What did you have to do to get the job you have now? Do you regret it, would you choose something different if you could go back? Do you have any advice?

I hope you’re having an ok day, and that I’m not too annoying, and thank you if you even took the time to read this far. -🌱

no no don't apologize, this is exactly what this blog is for. When I started my journey I couldn't find any outspoken disabled environmentalists or any resources for people like us. So I started this blog to compile resources and share what I've learned as my career has progressed. I want everyone regardless of physical or mental state to be able to pursue their passions in environmental science and conservation.

Honestly, this field has a long way to go still. Even big institutions like the Smithsonian haven't quite figured it out yet. But there is definitely a shift happening. I've been seeing so many more disabled young people interested in this field and its amazing. I saw another physically disabled student at the Smithsonian conservation biology institute when I visited as an alum a few weeks ago, and I believe I was one of if not the first person to attend as a wheelchair user (yeah they didn't know what to do with me 😮‍💨) I had a professor who directly singled me out for being a wheelchair user so you will unfortunately run into some bigots in this field.

However the federal government (im assuming you are in the US so apologies if you're not) especially during the Biden administration has been ramping up its hiring of Schedule A employees. Schedule A allows you to circumvent the competitive process through the WRP (workplace recruitment program) once you've graduated college (or GED). Schedule A can be provided by a doctor or disability counselor (My DARS office did mine, love DARS: it's free and every state has one). My manager is HOH as well as one of my new coworkers and I was of course recently hired by the EPA as well. The EPA is probably the most disability friendly place to work in our field, if not anywhere. It has its issues but I've been pretty much over-accommodated instead of under (sad I consider the minimum accommodations to feel excessive).

Here's some of the things I've learned so far:

1. My biggest advice to anyone your age wanting to get into this field is to volunteer volunteer volunteer!! You are most likely at a time where you can afford to work for free. Most environmental internships are unpaid unless you have prior experience with the organization. Try out a bunch of different experiences to find out what you like the most. I never would have thought I'd be a bug person until I did my first invertebrate stream assessment. I got into environmental science late in my college career so it took me a lot longer to figure out what I wanted to do. Get as much experience as you can while you are still supported by your parents and don't have to worry about things like rent or bills. Some organizations are trying to change this so people from lower incomes can still have the same opportunities, but it still has a ways to go. Notably zookeepers have to work either for free or for dirt cheap for a couple years before they get hired full time.

2. Be prepared to lose out on your dream job due to your disability(s). I'm going to be frank and not spout any of that "you can do anything you put your mind to" bullshit. Yes, most things CAN be done by anyone with the right accommodations, but in a field where a large percentage of the work is done physically, you will be unable to do some types of jobs. I'm not saying it's impossible to get your dream job with disabilities, but it's a very common experience for us. For example, I looked into working on a boat. In a perfect world, I'd be given limitless accommodations and time to rest but on a boat that is extremely difficult. You can't take sick days whenever you need them. This was the same thing I had to realize when I was offered my dream job in my dream location: A stream specialist field technician for the USGS in Portland Oregon. I absolutely loved working in the field, and yes there are many of us who do/did fieldwork using mobility aids. I miss fieldwork everyday. But I had to turn it down. I knew deep down I couldn't handle it, having scheduled in advance field excursions that I couldn't postpone, having to hike in difficult terrain in remote locations, even moving across the entire country, at least at the time, was improbable. I was barely holding on at my field job where I did have safety nets. I just couldn't justify the financial and physical strain as well as the risk if I wasn't able to do the job and became unemployed. It broke my heart to give it up and I'm still grieving. But I do enjoy my current job and it lets me prioritize my health. No longer do I just work and sleep because work would take up all my spoons. I've been drawing and gaming and spending more time with loved ones. It is an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes what we want isn't what we need. Being disabled means that sometimes we have to make hard decisions that abled people don't ever have to think about. It's part of the grieving process for those of us who were abled at some point. I can't speak on what it's like for those with lifelong disabilities from birth, but I know its hard for them too.

3. Ok yeah 2 was a huge bummer, but here's where it gets better: When one door with stairs closes, a door with a ramp opens. There will be other opportunities. This field isn't just fieldwork despite what most people think. You don't have to be a super strong ranger that can hike 20 miles in a day without breaking a sweat to do environmental work. The field needs people who take what the guys outside collect and analyze it, research it, visualize it, present on it, take care of it, write about it, archive it, make art of it, etc etc etc. There are so many organizations that need people who can do data analysis and administration. Working at a desk doesn't make you less of an environmentalist. Plus that's not all, you can work in a lab or work with smaller creatures like bugs or herps or fish or you could do botany or geology! You don't need to be able to go out and get them yourself to work with them. Being able to save energy during my workday allows me to pursue my passions like collecting bugs and swimming. I can volunteer with citizen science projects or conservation orgs and still do fieldwork, but because its not a job I can do it when I feel up to it, I don't have to push myself to keep going because I'm worried about being fired. I currently work as a data analyst for the EPA and I work mostly from home so I can do my work without suffering. Yea data analysis isn't my favorite thing in the world but your job doesn't have to be. Sometimes a job is something that makes you money so you can do your passions outside of it. But I am happy the work I do supports something I am passionate about (supporting states so they can clean up more sites and thus have cleaner water).

4. You'll have to learn how to advocate for yourself. Push against boundaries. Explore your options. Especially with doctors. You know yourself best, don't let anyone else define your boundaries for you, even me. If someone says you can't do something because of your disability, but you know that you actually can, tell them and be assertive about it. Many of us are seen as abrasive and rude, but to be a disabled person in a very abled centered world you gotta be. Don't let anyone hold you back because THEY feel uncomfortable. My coworkers at my old job were worried for me when I showed up to work with my crutches for the first time. But it actually made me BETTER at stream assessments (having four legs means you don't slip as much). I could do it even if I needed to take breaks and use mobility aids. Nowadays it's too much for me to be doing that but at the time it was within my limits. And sometimes, you'll overestimate yourself and end up flaring or hurting yourself. It's okay to make mistakes, it doesn't make you a bad person. At first you'll push through too much but as you learn your body's limits you'll get better at managing your disability. And sometimes a great memory is worth a week-long flare up. Its for YOU to decide what you can do.

That's all I can think of for now, I should probably get ready for bed soon. But just remember, there are more of us than they think and we can be capable, productive, and a benefit to the environmental movement no matter our ability or skills.

If you have anymore specific questions, or just need to talk, I'm always available (even if I might take a while to reply).

[halitis]

I… need to know if you have more HalbarryOllie thoughts? Please and thank you!

HI OP. tysm for asking because i am actually Always filled with thoughts. they rotate in my mind like a microwave 24/7 :3

this is a mix of headcannons and observations, so i hope that's what you were looking for! sorry it's a billion long i got Invested...

hal and barry for some reason, love to carry each other. they will pick each other up just whenever, barry usually carrying hal in a bridal grasp or hal carrying barry either like a potato sack or creating s construct to carry him. ollie judges them heavily, what freaks. (the first and last time barry tries to carry ollie when it's not necessary, it ends with him taking a solid hit to the crotch. hal will not stop laughing.)

ollie and hal both have leftover habits and trauma from poverty. when one of them sees the other with negative food behaviour, or accidental hoarding they don't say anything because they know they behave the exact same way. another holdover they have, is the stubborn pride that you HAVE to do it yourself. a pipe bursts or something: cue hal and ollie covered in water, apartment flooded, water damage everywhere but Fuck if they aren't going to figure out how to do this! they are outraged when they realised barry called a plumber.

i don't think they will ever get married in anyway, gonna be honest. hal and his commitment issues go brrr and ollie i think just Doesn't like marriage (roy had to get this opinion from somewhere, see below). the only way i ever see them getting married, is because barry wants to (fucking midwesterner), but even then i don't think he actually would want it that badly. i think that paired with the fact that not all of 3 of them can be married, that they just dont bother. paper is not needed to make your love anymore real.

[continued beneath the read more]

ollie and barry at first, just get along for hal. like he is a child of divorce. i think they would start getting really close after a long mission. you know when you are just so bone tired you lose the will to fight? they are just lazing about, and someone says something that usually would start an argument and instead the other just laughs and it's history from there on. they still bicker and argue sure, but they both know it's playful.

another reason they might have to start getting along, is their kids! wally and roy are good friends and at the beginning, some of the only sidekicks. i think their initial dislike manifests in passive-agressive one upping each other. ollie buys the boys a full spread for dinner, barry takes them to europe to try authentic food. barry takes them out to a water park, ollie rents out a themepark for them. the boys probably encourage it, especially wally.

im not gonna start spewing roywally propaganda in this post, but just know that the parallels between them and ollie x barry have me in a deathgrip.

ollie is the Only cis person in this relationship. i hc barry as transmasc, and hal as either gnc or genderfluid. ollie's the diversity hire guys <3 (if you include dinah in this, she is also trans! its cannon dont @ me)

the first time there is ever a Proper Fight in the polycule, it's between hal and ollie. ollie's habit of calling people nazis and facists usually don't bother hal (he was in the army, he had to get over letting dumb insults bother him). but just at some point, he's having a Bad Day and he just loses it at ollie. logically he knows it's not targeted but calling the jewish guy a nazi just set him off. they are both too stubborn to break the silence after the fight, it takes barry dragging ollie like a misbehaving cat to hal's to apologise before they get over it. ollie is now very careful to censor himself like that around hal.

honestly if anyone wants me to expand on my thoughts on jewish hal, or transgender halbarryollie PLEASE ask. im a hairtrigger away at any given moment.

ollie and hal both LOVE boxing, they love going to matches and watching. at some point, they start trying to include barry and take him along to the fights. barry for the life of him Cannot enjoy this shit. somehow, at some point, they end up at a wwe match and they all become avid fans. date nights now include lazing on the couch with takeout and watching playbacks on tv.

barry runs so fucking hot, and ollie runs cold. leaving hal to fucking Despise sharing a bed with them. genuinely his worst nightmare. even the army was better than this. it is not uncommon to find hal on the floor asleep.

after hal's death, ollie doesn't cope with it very well. killing his bf fucks him up so greatly, he ends up really clinging to barry. barry also isn't handling well but he can't let himself fall apart, he needs to be there for ollie. they start living together basically full time, until one day barry's grief just builds up too much and he ends up saying something he regrets in the heat of an argument (probably something along the lines of blaming ollie for hal's death or he's only staying with ollie because of hal). ollie storms off and barry is just... Gutted. before they have time to reconcile, ollie dies. (if im getting my timelines wrong don't look at me, i will sob)

not a single one of these men have fashion taste. they all dress like the loser middle aged men they are. fucking fashion crimes against humanity! hal steals their clothes quite frequently, which is controversial considering he is the largest person out of the three of them and their shirts and stuff are definitely Too tight. (ollie and barry aren't complaining though, except for when they get their clothes back and they are so fucking stretched)

i love picturing them as cheerleaders. not like, in the actual getup, but just as them being the PROUDEST boyfriends. hal and barry bragging about how ollie is the best shot in the world (hes not but its fine :3), green arrow and lantern standing to the side on a mission and just watching flash adoringly because they know he doesn't need their help, ollie and barry smugly parading around hal like "yeah. this is my bf. hes so hot i know. he's so smart as well." none of them have any idea they are doing it though. they are gag worthy.

ollie's love language is gifts but not always monetary. more like making them food, taking them out places and stuff like that. its the thought and effort that goes into it, that's why does it. barry's is touch, this man LOVES hugs and draping himself over his bfs. hals is acts of service! he wants to help and just do whatever he can for them whenever possible. you could see that hal bases his selfworth off of how much he can do for others, which is so horrible and sad. so yknow. brainworms.

ollie's house accidentally becomes their usual meeting place, but only because he fucking HATES the zeta tubes. whenever he meets them anywhere, he will always whine about how they make him sick. barry does offer to pick him up, but it's a point of pride to him at this point, he can't just admit defeat to the zeta. barry and hal make a silent agreement to just meet him instead. (this was based off an actual comic panel, but i cannot for the Life of me remember which one).

none of them show up on time to dates. it actually becomes so incredibly common that when they miss them, no one takes offence anymore. cue one time where they all missed a date, and are sheepish around the others and keep trying to make it up to them. it takes 3 days before they realise that none of them were there.

and that's it for now! thanks for reading mwah maah

[donutfloats]

so about your AU! i had two questions i was scratching my head about some days ago which were:

1. why does shamura not only have the domain of war (hence peace as well), but also the domain of wisdom?

2. what happened to the bishops crowns after their defeat by the lamb?

i was scratching my head because if you can have multiple domains (that arent complementary), it would mean you can have multiple crowns. but then theres the question of why the lamb didnt absorb the bishops crowns powers upon their defeat.

then i figured you can only have one crowns abilities, so when you defeat another god, you get to choose which crown to keep. even though lamb wasnt a god, they did have the red crown on their brow, and they chose to keep the red crown—the other crowns got destroyed. which would also explain why no other gods have emerged since the hundreds were slain: once a crown is destroyed, its destroyed for good. the red crown is the last crown and so it shall remain. and i dont think it can be destroyed because like you said its a bit of a special crown. the world would probably collapse without it, which is why i think mystic seller (some higher god from another universe with the power to travel between them?) tells lamb to do their job right.

but then the question remains of why shamura has two domains irrelevant to each other. personally i think one of them, wisdom, is not actually a crowns domain, but has been treated as such because shamura is very wise, so their faithful started praying to them for wisdom as well as peace and protection.

ANYWAY. wall of text. your thoughts? how did you go about these things in your AU? id love to know what other people make of these two questions.

Thanks for asking!!!

1. Shamura doesn’t actually have the domain of knowledge. It’s a self proclaimed title. Shamura is, by all accounts, the most successful Purple Crowns bearer BECAUSE of their knowledge and wit, this is emphasised by their endless hoard of books that they have collected and read through their decades of godhood. It is a trait that they’re proud of and why losing their mind was a terrible toll

I mean, you gotta be pretty damn Knowledgable to come out as the victor in a giant War against EVERY SINGLE OTHER GOD in the land

2. The crowns are in Gabriel’s possession, but they don’t not control them, nor can they put said crowns on.

They’re already a crown bearer first off, so they can’t wear two, and secondly for a person to receive a crown they most go through a sort of “Coronation”

This was down originally by the Duck Siblings, but since The Great War there hasn’t been a new crown bearer since

“Wait how did Gabriel get the crown then if it can only be received through a coronation?” They didn’t! It was loaned to them originally by Narinder, and only officially became theirs when Narinder “died.” In a way, their fight was the perfect scenario to set a sort of “coronation” into motion that lead Gabriel into becoming the official new Crown Bearer

Don’t ask me exactly how that works lol

Anyway, with this in mind the other crowns are (in the game time line) dormant, they can be fussed with and even popped on someone’s head- but the crowns won’t attune unless a Coronation is held

Hope this helped explain how the crowns work!

[calware]

me

generally don't know what i'm doing

it is time to start my yearly summer job application process

the only offer i've ever gotten for a paying design job was one where i had to directly ask them to pay me. and i don't want to go back because they didn't have a lot for me to do (they liked me and apologized a lot but were like "she's not going to come back next year" because they knew how bad the work was. it was weird) i love and appreciate them sm but i don't want to go back

read on reddit that employers are more likely to hire designers with custom domain names

i use cargo collective to host my websites (free with my uni tuition yay) so i figure i will just buy a domain directly through them

ask my dad if its ok that i do this (would be paying with his money) (i dont have a job)

hes like yeah of course. but dont buy it from them directly get it from somewhere else it'll be cheaper

makes sense. again idk what i'm doing

someone on reddit mentioned cloudflare being good. it's cheaper ($10.44) so ok why not

again ask my dad if cloudflare is ok. he says "yeah i've heard of them go do that"

i try making a post on a subreddit confirming if this is a good decision (idk what im doing) but i cant make any posts because i apparently need a certain amount of karma to post (i have 2)

whatever

buy the thing

go to implement it in the cargo website

cargo tells me to edit the nameservers on the registrar settings

no idea what that means

i look it up and kind of figure it out

go to cloudflare registrar settings. it doesn't allow me to change it

go back to reddit to see if i can find a tutorial or something

find out that the cloudflare domain T&C states that you can't alter the nameservers

even if i read the T&C before making the purchase i wouldn't have even known that it wouldn't work on cargo collective (see: i don't know what those words mean and i had no reason to think it was this complicated. these are not things the average person knows about. and you don't know what you don't know)

ok i'll just transfer it to a registrar that allows you to alter the nameservers

find out that there's no ability to make a transfer within the first 60 days of purchase (no way i'm waiting that long)

ok. it's only been a few hours, maybe i can cancel and get a refund

find out that you can't get a refund

this wouldn't have been a problem if i had just stuck with my original plan (i do appreciate my dad trying to help me save money though)

it's less than $11. but i'm still sad

ohhhh i fucked it up

[umblrspectrum]

the Solver of the Absolute Fabric, the Void, the Exponential End acting like an entitled toddler is the funniest thing

[lowpolysonic]

boy best friends