#i dont have the correct cake pans but it should be fine?

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Tag rambling ignore me

[kcrossvine-art]

whats crackling? whats snackling? in the near future, possibly YOU! This next one might be good for those of yall who dont have big kitchens. Today on our cooking review revue is Golden Hill pears from the Redwall Cookbook- 

(for crackling and snackling purposes you can find the original recipe at the bottom to follow along)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to Golden Hill Pears?” YOU MIGHT ASK

sugar

water

4 medium pears (peeled, halved, cored)

ground allspice

As you can guess by the ingredients, golden hill pears are just caramelized pears. Am a huge fuckin fan of caramelized stone fruits- peaches, pears, plums,- but contrary to my normal method of using an oven to achieve the desired syrupy goodness, this recipe calls only for a little sauce-pot and lid! 

AND, “what does Golden Hill Pears taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

If you've had caramelized fruit before you'll get the gist, however, these are on the higher end in terms of taste 100%

The allspice is such a brush of warmth and comfort

Tastes like cuddling the person you love in front of the fire

Caramel taste is even throughout

Would be so so so good paired with a nice pulled pork stew

And warm apple cider would be perfectionx2

A fulfilling end to a fall season that passed too fast

. Where pear halves called for, strained and used canned pear slices (0% added juice) . Where sugar called for, used fine granulated sugar . Tripled cooking time for initial caramelization

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Go fucking hogwild with the allspice honestly, i used about 2 soup-spoonfuls of it and couldve still probably done more. its up to personal preference but its damn good.

Also; cooked way more evenly than youd think. Once the initial caramelization was done each 'batch' of pears cooked pretty quick.

SO, it took me about 3 tries to get this right as the book describes itself. My first mistake was letting it get to a golden brown color, as the book says you should, because by the time the sugar and water is that color alone in the pan, it is already way too late and is going to burn by the time you add the pears in. You need to add the pears in a bit earlier than whats going to feel right- when the mixture becomes a strong yellow-ish color id say?

The second time, because the first try had burnt, i tried lowering the heat/going against the books advice and stirring throughout. In all previous times ive caramelized something it was good to get some motion in there, so i figured if it burnt before maybe the issue was too much heat and no movement. This didnt work. This instead somehow created massive sugar crystals which over the period of about 30 seconds (once reaching temp and adding to the pan) quickly hardened and had to be chipped away until it broke off the spoon and the pot. Im not a scientist i have no fucking idea.

It mightve tasted good and been a cool cake topper but at this point we were 40 minutes in with no delicious pears so we werent wasting time with tasters.

Third attempt; corrected from previous mistakes. Watched the saucepot like a fuckin HAWK, didnt stir or disturb the pan, had it on medium heat for about 21 minutes until it started turning yellow, added the pears and allspice in immediately, covered and simmered it. I had 2 cans of pears that i strained and patted dry of excess fluid, so with 2 seperate batches for the one pot. I think the second batch came out richer but there wasnt too much a difference. Both came out lovely to eat with the syrup drizzled over top.

All in all, from deciding to make them to having them in my belly, and subtracting failed attempts, id estimate it took about 30 minutes? It would be longer if you prepared the pears yourselves, along with the cooktime for them probably, but its not neccesary for this recipe.

It tastes fuckin good and would be excellent in living situation where all you have available is a portable hot-top. I could see myself making it again now that i know what visual cues to look for.

I give this recipe a solid 8/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.)

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons sugar

4 medium pears, peeled, halved lengthwise and cored

Generous pinch ground allspice

Method:

Put the sugar in the bottom of a heavy saucepan and sprinkle 2 tablespoons of water over it. Cook over medium heat without stirring until the mixture reaches a golden brown caramel, about 7 minutes. (Swirl the pan if the caramel colors unevenly).

Standing back, pour in 1/4 cup of water, taking care as it will spit.

Add the pears and allspice to the pan, cover and simmer until the pears are tender, 10 to 15 minutes.

Use a slotted spoon to transfer the pears to a serving dish. Raise the heat and boil the syrup vigourously for 1 minute.

Pour the syrup over the pears and serve immediately, or let cool and then chill before serving.

[brelione]

First Date With Pope Headcanons

You and Pope’s first date was at Walmart

Well, kind of.You guys were planning on just stopping in really quickly to grab snacks to watch a movie but it ended up as a full on journey across the store.

He was trying so hard not to act too weird but you laughing because you found a vibrator in an abandoned cart wasnt helping

“We should make tacos.”He suggested, noticing a sale on tortillas.You shrugged, tossing some into the cart. “We should make cup cakes but make them look like flowers.”You replied, already on your way to the baking isle.

“Can we get this?”He asked, holding up a bag of sour skittles.You nodded,sitting in the cart on your phone as he pushed it through the isles, secretly taking a  video of him. “Can we get this?”He asked, holding up a bag of caramel m and ms.You nodded again, trying your best not to laugh at him as he pushed the cart with a grin that resembled that of a child at a toys r us. “Can we get this?”He asked, holding up a bag of cool ranch doritos. “Yep.”You replied.

Eventually you decided to switch places, you pushing the cart while POpe sat inside, grabbing anything he wanted off the shelves as you passed.

Playing pass with a bouncy ball only to throw it across the store wheen you hear a worker on their way to kick you guys out

“Go,go,go!”You exclaimed, running down the isles to hide in the toy section.

“Wait- can we get this?”Pope asked, pointing to a nerf gun.You laughed, trying to figure out what he could possibly want with it. “Yeah, sure.Grab me one too.”You told him.

Somehow you guys ended up in the book section

“Trash!they literally dont have any classics all they have is-oh wait.Wait, they have Percy Jackson.Can I please get this?”He asked, holding up one of the books.

You assumed he had never been able to get whatever he wanted at a store before so you just let him go wild

“What is this?”He asked, looking at a case of La Croix.You shrugged, telling him to just put it in the cart.

“Thay have birthday cake oreos!”He exclaimed, tossing them into the cart.

“Do you need any clothes?”You asked, approaching the mens section.He shrugged, not really expecting you to buy him clothes. 

“We’re getting this.”You didnt even show him the shirt before it ended up in the cart.When he tried to turn it over to see why you liked it som much you simply smacked his hand away and told him it was a surprise.

Him buying like eight different DVD’s because “THERE WAS A SALE!”

 “Do you think its weird that you’re lik...you know, a kook in  a walmart.”He muttered, trying not to sound rude.You raised an eyebrow, not really getting his point. “No, like, i mean because other kooks dont go to-nevermind.”He trailed off, kissing your forehead.

He was literally shaking when the cashier was ringing in all the items because you guys bought so much

He held your hand while he drove, rolling his eyes when you started playing LIttle Einsteins

“Why is this happening?”He asked, clearly referring to the song.You just laughed, knowing how annoyed he was.

Once you guys got back to your house you just sat in the driveway for a good twenty minutes when the realization hit you that you’d have to bring all the bags inside

Baking cake was a mess

“It says to get  two round eight inch-”You paused to laugh, finding it really funny. “Shush the hell your mouth.”He replied,finding the baking pans.

“How many eggs did you put in there?”He asked, noticing that the mixture was kind of dry. “I didnt put in the eggs yet, dumb dumb.”You replied,digging deep in your fridge to find the carton of eggs only to drop one on the floor. “Yeah, okay, fair enough.”You stared at the egg.He frowned,grabbing a paper towel. “Youre a murderer.”He mumbled,scooping the shells and the yol onto the towel. “You’re the one who smashed a moth to death last week.”You retaliated, earning a dramatic gasp from him. “It was trying to attack you!”He defended himself.

So you guys didnt even end up watching a  movie because you guys were too busy baking and eating

“So whats the shirt?”He asked, noticing that you were holding the bag that contained the black cloth.You grinned,pulling it out and throwing it to him.

“OH MY GOD!IS THE GOLDEN GIRLS!”he exclaimed, peeling off the shirt he was currently wearing and into his new one.

“Oh shit- we forgot to get frosting!”You exclaimed, realizing that you had only bought cake mix.

“Its fine, you have peanut butter somewhere in here.”He raided your kitchen cabinets,hoping for the best.

The night ended with the two of you on the couch with a batch of cupcakes covered in peanut butter and powdered sugar, falling asleep in eachothers arms before you could even put a movie on.

When you woke up he was still asleep with his head resting on your thighs, trapping you on the couch.

“Pope….Pope wake up.”You whispered, shaking him back and forth. “No….”He grumbled, half asleep as his arms tightened around you. “Pope!Up, now.”You repeated,trying to get him off of you before your legs would go numb.He yawned, saying something under his breath before rolling onto the floor, not even caring.He grabbed a pillow from off the couch and held it to his chest, going back to sleep.

You laughed, getting up and going into your kitchen to make two cups of coffee, feeling his arms around you. 

“Morning.”You grinned, kissing his cheek lightly. “Afternoon.”He corrected after glancing over at the clock in your kitchen.You shrugged, deciding that it was basically the same thing.

You ate what was left of the cupcakes with your coffee before realizing you guys hadnt made tacos last night, deciding to make some for lunch

“We couldve just got taco bell.”He realized,stirring the meat in the pan.You sighed, opening a soda. “It was your idea to make tacos.”You reminded him, taking a sip of the soda before grabbing cheese, lettuce,guacamole,salsa and sour cream from the fridge.

Sitting down on the couch you guys decided to do a redo, putting on a movie as you ate the tacos

“shhh-stop crunching so loud!”You exclaimed, turning up the volume so you could hear the dialogue over the chewing of taco shells. “sorry.” he whispered.

“That bitch just shot her husband!If you ever do that to me im gonna be so mad.”He shook his head, leaning back against the pillow.You raised an eyebrow, a small grin forming on your face. “Are you saying that we’re gonna get married?”You teased,watching his eyes widen. “Maybe.”He replied.

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