#i dont even remember whats in these posts

[puppywilliams]

just to ruin things.

summary: you and ellie’s cant run from your past forever.

warnings: toxic!ellie, mentions of drugs (cocaine), mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of relapsing, angst, implied bi reader

a/n: hi! ive been sooo very busy but heres a little smth i wrote! this might be boring but i need to post </3 also listened to memories by conan gray while writing this if you care

────────୨ৎ────────

some stupid party got you exactly where you always ended up. in ellies truck. it made you so fucking angry the way she always swooped in to save that day like she was some superhero, like she was doing you a favor. you couldn’t blame her too much, you always gave in like a lost dog finding its owner.

part of you Needed her to save you, the unfortunate truth you weren’t ready to unfold, its one you couldn’t face in fear of what it might do to the wall you’ve spent Too long already rebuilding, 7 months and 13 days of rebuilding to be exact. you tell yourself you’re not counting, its just an estimate. like this, its just friendly, this is what friends do. they drive you home. you’re not even that drunk, you knew you were getting into her car, you knew you were letting her right back into the place you needed to keep her out of the most.

her eyes were straight on the road with her knuckles around the steering wheel. you looked at her, freckles splatted across her face like god himself hand picked each one. “youre a fucking idiot you know that? all over that guy? you dont even know him. he couldve slipped something in your drink, youre gonna get yourself killed.” she spat venom through the atmosphere, turning everything sour like she managed to do every damn time.

“fuck you.” you spat back. it wasnt worth it, never was nor ever had been. but ellie argued either way.

“what? you still cant handle the truth?” she piled on, it was like a never ending mound of what you did that she didn’t like or approved of, it pushed your buttons in a way ellie knew it would. when you spend enough time together, the memories you’ve engraved into your head don’t expire. ellie knew you like she practiced your coding. every nook, every cranny, every corner, every place she knew and altered as she pleased. ruining you every time without so much as an apology. it angered you so much, for someone who swore she didnt care, it hurt.

you looked down and fiddled with the hem of your dress, hyper focusing in on one thing so you didnt burst like a can of shaken soda, youd been on the edge of your breaking point since you had broken up. so many words you didn’t say, so many words you wish you didn’t say.

“cant speak now? what? have too much to drink? bet you remember that guy you were all over. probably remember him more than you remember anything about me.” she pierced daggers right into your pressure points, only fueling the fire that endorsed your temper.

you took a breath before turning your head to look at her. “you dont have the right ellie. youre a fucking loser. you know that?” you looked right at her. the way you knew she despised when she couldn’t meet your gaze. “i dont Need you to save me, we’re long past that. what i do and who i do is none of your god damn business!” you threw your hands into the air finally letting yourself lose your calm facade, not missing a beat in fear she might cut in and ruin what you know you Need to say, for yourself and maybe its a plead. you dont think, only spoke.

“youre acting like when we were together you didnt drink your ass off every fucking night. sitting on My couch, watching My tv, crawling into My bed pissed out of your mind, you dont have any idea do you? none?” you breathed heavily with tears in your eyes looking Right at her before moving your gaze again to meet the hem of you dress. knowing the battle you say is with ellie, is actually with yourself. its one you always lose. “im so fucking m-mad at you still..i dont need this, or to see you at all…id listen to silence and see nothing but black just to know id never get confirmation you still existed..i cant stand you..” ellie stayed silent, the way she always did. white knuckles gripped over the steering wheel, her jaw clenched, but you see the gloss over her eyes. you see the way she breathes like shes making sure its the perfect rhythm.

you closed your eyes, the silence was so deafening you thought you got your wish, but she opened her mouth proving you wrong and teaching you once again to not get your hopes up.

“you want me to got care anymore? you fucking got it.” she put it simple, you should be grateful but you cant seem to be. its your weakness, and its one you’ll never strengthen, her weight always dragging you back down like a purgatory, but your shackles will never be lifted, so potentially its a sugarcoated way of calling it hell.

you turn to look out the window. “thank god.” you utter under your breath, a chunk of your soul hopes she doesn’t hear, of course she does. “dont ask me to pick you up at 11pm anymore. im not coming.”

she makes a good point, a great one even. one that not even you could manage to figure out if you tried.

“then stop picking up.” its all you say, its all you Needed to say. you glance at the way shes losing internal fight in the torn up seat of her truck.

“you know i cant do that..” she whispers as a single tear falls from her eye. she tries to wipe it away with the knuckle bound to her thumb before you see. “i know.”

“then why? why pull me in to push me away? why?! why do you do it?” you fall silent, its a conversation you hadn’t prepared for, but its a hole you dug so long ago it feels like centuries, but like every past, it catches up to you. its something so long overdue it churns your stomach like a knot in a rope you cant seem to unravel. “what am i meant to do ellie? come crawling back to your doorstep and repeat everything i spent so long trying to mend myself back together over? seeing your face is the worst kind of relapse. its a reminder of what i worked for, to self sooth for months and act like kissing someone else doesn’t still feel like cheating. i do what i Have to do ellie, i cant plead with you, not when youre not mine and im not yours, because just like you. i have no fucking right..” your voice shook with emotions you didn’t know you we’re still capable of feeling.

ellie doesn’t try to hide her tears anymore, its pointless. its something rare, something you so selfishly cherish. its like feeding a sweet tooth that cant be settled unless you have empathy, you crave it every day knowing you never got it. you tell yourself shes crying for You and not yourself, its the fix of what will get you through this conversation, through tonight, and through next week.

“you think thats what i want?” she dryly chuckles before scoffing, using her pointer and thumb to wipe at her tear ducts. you fucking hate it. “you think thats what i want? i want you to be happy believe it or not, even if its not me. but god damn, it kills me seeing you with someone else and you dont even Care.”

you take her words as something thats malicious, but deep down somewhere in your heart you know its just the truth, maybe you’re not ready for this, you might never be. “you made that decision a long time ago. its out of my control now.”

her face hardened and her eyes stayed put on the road ahead. “you gave up on me. you put everyone else and everything else before me, was i supposed to stay?” she breathes out through her nostrils. you looked at her like she had said something outrageous, like it was a life altering claim.

“thats what you think huh?” you scoffed rolling your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest looking back out the window.

she raised her voice, her temper always did run thin. something you didn’t miss. “yeah, it is!” she bit the inside of her cheek and took a deep inhale.

“no ellie. i tried, and thats what you never give me credit for. i tried to help you get sober, i payed for your rehab bill so you could come back home to me, but the first thing you did when you got home was snort a line before you even looked my way. we’re not dogs, i cant lick your wounds and tell you they’ll heal, i had myself to worry for. you put drugs above me, so i stopped trying. i stopped begging you.” she fell silent for what you hoped would be the last time tonight, you watched the way she went to speak but shut herself up.

her voice still appeared a few seconds later. “i know i was an addict, i know i fucked up but you gave up on me regardless.” you looked at the tense expression she had as she drove, not even sure if she was driving in the right direction anymore. as much as you

wanted this to all be over you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“you gave up on yourself. i didn’t even get a sorry.” you said dryly, looking back at your feet. everything seemed to consume you. “well im saying sorry now. and for the record i still love you.”

you wanted to recoil, to scream at her and tell her to fuck off, but you softened. you wiped your eyes, sniffling. “i still love you too, it drives me crazy.”

it was the truth, one you ran from. something you denied to your friends and family, knowing if you said anything remotely to the truth you’d see the way their face morph into an disapproving expression.

“i know ill never have you again, but for what its worth i’m thankful you were mine.” its something ellie never intended to say out loud but she used every resource she could.

you gave in to something she wasn’t even asking for, just something you needed to ruin you.

“for what its worth if you asked me to be yours again i don’t think i could say no.”

“then dont say no.”

[stinkyallegations]

cw TKaTB spoilers, theory, mention of guillotine, amnesia memories spoilers

TKATB and its characters belong to @fantasia-kitt !!

TKATB IS RATED +18. MINORS DONT INTERACT

Was about to post a theory about how sol could have been reincarnated to meet pumpkin again in a different timeline bc they werent allowed to be together in their own timeline, the bruise on his neck being an indication of being guillotined AND him giving purple tullips (sign of royalty and elegance) to pumpkin on valentine's, feeling insecure about his lunch (saying it isnt "extravagant" enough for pumpkin) and somehow using pardon me instead of excuse me (he doesnt usually use this type of elegant language i think. could be just me) kinda seems like we were royalty before? I mean, crowe mentioning marie antoinette and the game giving us many options for the question seems sussy to me. Why does MY opinion on the queen matter this much to both crowe and sol since their love meters go crazy with the answers? speaking of historical figures, i cant be the only one thinking sol WAS the "executioner". maybe that could be it. he was "the executioner" and we were a part of the royalty: swimming in money, expensive alcohol and the sweat of the peasants; and sol being one of them. Maybe we didnt even know who he was but him being a delusional yandere, he thought we were inseperable lovers. maybe that was why he was drawing someone in peasant clothes. He was just drawing his past life, could be the day he first saw us or the day he lost us. anything to support my theory? what inspired the game, ofc :D i was stalking fantasia's socials when i saw the game was was inspired by 3 gamea, one being Amnesia Memories (IM A HUGE FAN OF THAT SHIT). if you didnt know, amnesia memories is about a girl waking up with lost memories, trying to remember things. but bc it is an otome, she has a partner in every world she wakes up in. so if she fails to recollect her memories, she ends up in a different universe with a different partner. the relevance between tkatb and amnesia? in amnesia the final LI can also switch between different universes. he loses the mc in a fire and cant live without her. So a god helps him go to a different universe to be with her again. But everytime he goes to a universe, the world either kills the mc or him somehow. Following with pumpkin being royalty and sol not being able to live with us, what if after our death; he went to a different universe where we are classmates (equal parties!!) and now the entire purpose of his existence being, well, being with us forever?

But yknow. I decided not to post it since pretty much everyone already thinks this way! its probably what fantasia WANTS us to think to bamboozle us in the end, right? :3

P.S. not to mention his hatred for the rich. the rich and their stupid rules were the things that stopped him from being with us! but what if hyugo ALSO has switched universes along with him for his own reasons? Could this be the deal between the two, and the reason why hyugo wont allow sol to just die like that?

[ezisregrettinglifedecisions]

I saw a post by @bellenotthebeast about the hate drivers are getting at the moment and this is a written version of what I put in the tags of my reblog because I didn't realise I was going to go on a rant when I tapped on the reblog button.

734 words just in case you were wondering.

All of the hate that drivers get for making mistakes is getting absolutely out of hand. It's frankly ridiculous how many people will jump at the chance to nitpick and be rude about another driver and whatever mistake they made minor or not. (This is specifically in relation to comments taken severly out of a very important bit of context and actual driving moments, if there is something serious then yes I think they should be held accountable for their actions, just because they're rich and in a very elite sport should not make them immune from accountability even though it does appear to sometimes.)

The stuff with Lando is actually sickening with how far its gotten. None of them should have to see that. In fact, no one, f1 driver or not, should ever see or hear such horrible things that people are saying to or about them. The death threats???? Hello??? What the actual fuck were people thinking. The drivers are people too the fans of those drivers are people. Get a grip and don't fucking send death threats???? Is that really that hard to have basic human respect for other people???

I see hate so much. Be it in the comments of an edit on tiktok or on a fan page on Instagram. Even the drivers own comment section and the official F1 account. People. What the fuck. Be supportive of people, for goodness sake. Don't be dicks??? Is it so difficult to be nice to people? I can tell that, unfortunately, I'm going to be using that phrase a lot.

I want to see the positives in this sport too. I think with all of the hate, all the good things have been buried under the swathes of hate and pain ignorance in some cases. I want to read or watch a video on how driver A did something so well, even if it's small and insignificant in the overall. I really want to hear about the amazing defending, even if they did get overtaken eventually. I want to hear about them being so fucking happy with their Quali position. I want to hear them screaming down the radio when they get in the points. I want to hear the feedback on the drive, where things may have gone wrong, and even where people think things could have improved. I want to hear about the track and the conditions and how well everyone did and how the people and the fans and their teams are so proud of their achievements during the weekend.

The thing I do not want to see is - ew i hate driver B. EEK no driver C ruined everything. Driver D should crash into the barriers. DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHEN THERE WERE COMMENTS HOPING DRIVERS WOULD DIE IN A CRASH. What the fuck is wrong with the people saying that???? That is NOT okay. EVER. Have you not seen how outraged Max Fewtrell was when someone said that they hoped Max V crashed and got hurt in his twitch chat room. He was furious. Saying how that wasn't okay and how fucked up it was to say something like that. Listen to Max for fucks sake please.

WE👏 DONT 👏KNOW 👏THEM👏.

They're public figures, and we only know the public side of them, not the side they reserve for behind closed doors. And for the fifth hundred time, we aren't entitled to know anything about them behind closed doors either. We dont have any ground to stand on to demand anything like that. Because who the fuck do you think you are to demand something like that. Seriously, some people need to understand that this ISN'T okay and the way these people are acting will NEVER be okay.

So just enjoy the sport.

Enjoy the drivers.

Enjoy watching their skills on the track.

Enjoy their interviews and their relationships together on and off the track.

Enjoy the side of them that we are allowed to see.

And stop hating unnecessarily.

Please, for the sake of the sport.

For the sake of the newer fans.

And for the sake of the drivers and their physical and mental health. You really need to think before you post. Think about the impacts it could have if something happens. Know that if your words are seen, that could be detrimental and how YOU played a part in something so horrible.

Thank you,

Ez

[littleeyesofpallas]

Okay im just gonna roll thru these issues, I guess like a liveblog, and ramble about this shit aa it comes, as i have given up trying to wrangle my adhd ass brain into actually forming cohesive thoughts...

For starters, cover art is fucking rad. Evan Cagle has just been consistently knocking these things out of the park every issue. Really sets the mood, maybe even sets expectations a little too high. On the inside though Rafael Albuquerque is no slouch. Really the aesthetics for this run has just been stellar all around. Even love the new title logo.

Anyway scene opens on an opera house, inside is a very on the nose production in which a grieving masked figure bent over the body of a collapsed woman is haunted by a bat-like demon. The dark haired boy(man?) demands to know where this unseen demon is as we got a shot of an empty seat, reserved for one Bruce Wayne. Theres a line about pearls around a neck, just in case we somehow werent picking up on the parallels.

The textography implies this is sung, and again pointing to this being an opera rather than just a spoke word stage play. The aesthetic is all very deliberately reminiscent of Phantom of the Opera. Also of passing note: the production is titled "L'Auriga" as in Italian for The Auriga, as in the constellation Auriga, "The Charioteer." He is depicted most often with a goat or kids in his arms, which given the cliche associations with satanism seem poignant here.

Elsewhere Batman beats up some gangsters doing generic crime at the docks, one of the Maroni capos is there and a sound over a loud speaker causes him to hulk out in grody dark magic fashion. Batman is a little off his game, Talia show up to finish the thing off, and she says Bruce isnt ready for the shit about to hit the fan, its older than either of them, its not human, and he's off his game... She elaborates no further and scoots off into the night.

Bruce tries to figure out why he's old and Dick pokes fun at him. He needs to see a man about a cube. (Oh the cube was being smuggled by the Maroni crew, which is where he got it and why its tied to the monster, I hadn't really made that clear... I'm not doing a very good job summarizing...)

Cool transition tho, we see the cubes source, the Orgham palace in "Svatrstal" which is as far as i can tell a meaningless assemblage of generic slavic sounds. The castle itself however is called "Coronis" after the mythic greek princess and lover of Apollo. (The more direct associations with the sun will come into play later. By proxy it might be that The Charioteer allusion could also be a reference to Apollo, via his chariot that drives the sun across the sky, making the subject of the play, Erichtonius, king of Athens.)

(Incidentally Coronis is also the name of a Spanish zarzuela by Sebastian Duron. It is about the nymph Coronas, Triton, Neptune, and Apollo, so there's that....)

But in any case we meet Arzen Orgham and his mother, in thematically appropriate sun-like headdress. She tasks her son with going to Gotham with a confusingly styled land deed(its a scroll, like with full on umbilicus, but it's apparently a legally viable document written in english?) We also get name drops of what will be his main goons, Shavhod, Neang, and Gael.

In spite of a lot of Greek mythology being flung around(Coronis, Auriga, the labyrinth) and implicit Italian to the opera themes, the core influence seems to be more Eastern European, and given the Dracula derived aesthetics it's not unexpected, but it all feels very weirdly. Also that this is apparently fully active nobility??? Like they're still rich and have modernized finances and resources (as opposed to like, an ancient dragons hoard of nonliquid but clearly "valuable" riches) so like do they govern this country????? This weird gap in information will become more of an issue with later developments...

Anyway... Gael has been the Orgham's vangaurd in Gotham, so while the young heir and his entourage are enroute, Gael slaughters the rest of the Maroni contacts he'd arranges the botched hand off of the magic cube with. He is noticeably more, uh, "ethnic"(?) looking than the other goons. Given the overall gist of the Orghams, that would seem to suggest something vaguely Mongolian adjacent? I mean, I guess it might be more obvious to assume he's meant to look Romani, but given the rest of the themes at play shouldn't they all be Romani anyway?

Anyway then Bruce has a cool nightmare about Barbatos and then wakes up to the sound of the mystery cube, which as it turns out is a music box, and the issue ends. Other than a few little oddities, I loved this issue and thought it was a great start to the story. Love the gothic horror vibe, the Dracula and Phantom of the Opera notes, the use of Barbatos, the idea of the Arkham lineage being traced back to the old country, the idea of addressing the future of Arkham Asylum(even though I could have sworn we'd already been given a different hook for that at some point...), the idea of Bruce dealing with his age it all makes for a really solid pitch. It'll get.... I don't want to say "worse" honestly, but some of those set ups will get shakier as this goes on....

[basiltonpitch]

worst feeling ever is when i agree with 99% of a post but then there's that 1% that makes me want to set fire to op's blog

[dapper-lil-arts]

Happy pride from the changeling kingdom

[domwitch]

Genuinely so unfair that I wake up horny with no boy to satisfy me 😔😔 I wish whenever I woke up wet I could just roll over and grope a boy next to me and climb on top of him, slipping him inside me easily and riding him until I'm satisfied. I need a free use sub top 😭😭😭

[website-com]

its true he just comes to you in your moment of need

[yvtro]

i think in general sometimes when people interpret characters they give them too much credit in a sense that they forget that people are often very much contradictory in their beliefs and sometimes they believe one thing but do another like. sometimes people say they want to leave when they want to stay. sometimes they stay when they want to leave. sometimes they say they understand something when they don’t and sometimes they say they don’t need things that they’re desperately yearning for. and if you want to create an appropriately multi dimensional reading of a character you need to accommodate this.

[surfacage]

??????????

[obsob]

there he is......the man of the house

[inumbrapugnabimus-maybe]

I read Howl’s Moving Castle and it is officially a comfort book now so here is Sophie :D

[echotheghostyghost]

character A, battered, bruised, and bloody, going "you should see the other guy" with a proud look on their face

character B, completely unharmed but visibly shaken and traumatized

[cartarg]

various stream doodles

[vodid]

warmth