#i dont even like this i wish i had more time RARGHHH 👹👹👹

[doodlebloo]

I tried so so hard to write a Halloween fic this year but I got so busy, this was all I got done. It's around 1k words, enjoy!

(Or you can read Last Year's Fic which is much longer and much better <3)

"You look stupid."

Ranboo grins. "Yeah, I know. My outfit is just- Really, it's just awful."

Tubbo rolls his eyes, smiling. "Fuck you."

Ranboo has half a mind to tell Tubbo to stop moving so much, lest his face paint smudge before it's dry. If the black and the white muddle together, he's going to look less like Ranboo and more like a bath bomb.

"This wig is itchy," Ranboo says instead. "I hate it."

"Well, I offered to bleach your hair blond and you said no," Tubbo shrugs as he begins to lace up his dress shoes. "I guess you'll just have to deal."

"I still can't believe you dyed your hair like mine for this costume."

"I didn't. Mine's split brown and blond, not black and white."

"Still," Ranboo shrugs.

They wander over to the arm of the couch that Tubbo is seated on, snaking an arm around Tubbo's waist.

Tubbo squints at them. "What?"

Ranboo smiles. "Your hair looks good like that."

Tubbo's cheeks flush as he grins. "Narcissist."

"Yup," Ranboo agrees, fiddling with Tubbo's tie. "You know me, always just- Just totally in love with myself. Can't get me away from the mirror these days."

"I know, I know. It's become a problem. You really- Hey, what the fuck."

Ranboo stumbles back as Tubbo shoves at his shoulders. "What?"

Tubbo begins unbuttoning Ranboo's shirt from the bottom. "This is wrong."

"I- What?"

"The buttons. I never button my shirt right. Yours looks way too neat to be me."

"O- Okay, I- Alright," Ranboo agrees, gently prying Tubbo's hands away. "I'll- I'll re-do it, then."

As much as it pains them, Ranboo re-buttons the shirt all wrong, leaving gaps and holes and crumpling the edges.

"There," Ranboo sticks out his arms as he spins. "Better?"

"Mm," Tubbo replies. "I'm pissed that it looks better on you."

Before Ranboo is forced to come up with a reply, he hears the familiar pitter-patter of Michael sprinting across their hardwood floors.

Tubbo runs to meet Michael at the living room's entryway. "Michael!"

Michael bounds into the room, jumping into Tubbo's arms in a burst of soft downy feathers. "Bee! Lookit!"

Michael flaps his arms up and down, sending another flurry of feathers into the air. Ranboo coughs as one gets stuck in their throat.

Tubbo gently guides Michael's arms back into a resting position. "Hey, how about we save the flapping for later tonight, yeah?"

"Okay," Michael agrees. He squirms to get out of Tubbo's arms.

Michael's chicken costume is round and fluffy, shedding feathers every time he takes a step. Ranboo knows he'll be the one cleaning up the mess later, but he can't bring himself to be upset about it when Michael is so obviously thrilled.

"Boo, you shirt," Michael points out as he toddles over. "Buttons all messy."

"That's true, that's true," Ranboo nods, stooping to Michael's level. "I'm dressed like Bee tonight, and he's dressed like me!"

"And we're gonna act like each other all night," Tubbo adds as he packs their to-go bag.

Ranboo raises a brow. "Are we really doing that?"

Immediately, Tubbo's posture changes. He hunches in on himself, wringing his hands. "Um, I mean, yeah, we- We can do that, if- if you, uh, want."

Michael giggles.

Ranboo stands up straight, putting his hands on his hips and adopting the squeakiest voice he's able. "Alright, I'll do this for you just this once. But when we get back, I expect fifteen stacks of diamonds in exchange!"

"What, no accent?" Tubbo teases. "Weak."

"You weren't doing an accent either."

"Yeah, well, that's 'cause I can't do one."

"...What- But you just-"

"I do an axe net!" Michael chimes in. "See? Bawk bawk!"

Michael begins clucking like a chicken, flapping his arms and strutting around the room.

Ranboo applauds politely. "Good job, Michael. You sound just like a real chicken, and you look like one too."

"Um, a chicken looks- it- uh!" Michael exclaims, scrambling over to Ranboo's side.

"Chick- Um, a chicken sees-es more... More colors than even people does!"

"Wow," Ranboo widens his eyes in awe, despite having been told this fact dozens of times already. "Is that true?"

"Mhm! And they- they take a bath by, uh, rolling around in the dirt." Michael giggles at the thought.

"Wow, that does sound like you," Tubbo hoists Michael up into his shoulder. "Maybe you're part chicken, Michael."

"Mm-mm," Michael shakes his head. "I'm a piggy!"

"So true," Tubbo replies, and Ranboo nods in agreement.

Ranboo ruffles Michael's hair. "Ready to go, little chicken?"

"Yeah!" Michael cheers, squirming on Tubbo's shoulder. "Tricky treat!"

"What about you, Ranboo?" Ranboo asks Tubbo, crossing his arms and grinning. "You'd better be ready to go, or I'm gonna divorce the hell out of you."

Making for the door, Tubbo flutters his eyes. "Oh, Tubbo, my dearest Tubbo, anything for you. Shall I count the ways thou-st enchanteth me? Shalt I-"

"When- when have I ever said 'thou'?" Ranboo wheezes, shutting the door behind them.

Tubbo shrugs, jostling Michael enough to make him giggle. "I mean, when haven't you?"

Ranboo rolls their eyes. Michael and Tubbo head off while Ranboo locks up, sticking their spare key under the potted plant by the door, just in case.

There was a time when that would be an unsafe practice on this server, when it'd be asking for someone to hurt them.

But tonight, spooky as it may be, Ranboo is able to take his family out to celebrate Halloween with no fear in his heart.

Ranboo slips the key under the pumpkin and checks his comm, which has been flooded with messages from loved ones. Up ahead, he hears Michael babbling about how chickens are descendants of dinosaurs, sees Tubbo taking the stairs two at a time to excite him.

Ranboo takes a deep breath, and sets out on Halloween night, running to catch up with their husband and son under the light of a pale crescent moon.