#i dont CARE just fucking PICK SOMETHING. stop asking if i want to message ppl i know 3 people and none of them are nearby/

[possum-tooth]

kmsing

[sscoutregimentss]

I was gonna make a request based on your Eren x Gamer Reader post but then I saw you take poly requests... Erejean x Gamer Reader? (She/her pronouns btw ^_^)

sure thing anon! your brain is huge. i started a one shot which is now sitting in my drafts bc i literally dont know how to finish it. maybe i'll post it later but for now here you go headcanons woohoo

eren and jeans dynamic makes it look like its impossible for them to share a girlfriend but it actually? works surprisingly well?

arguing is kinda their love language in a very strange weird way. if theyre not fighting somethings wrong but their like constant bickering actually is rlly important to you three's relationship lmfaooo a lot of communicating is just eren and jean fighting and then you pick up on something they say and you three talk it out. plus its gets all their energy out at the end of the day... like when puppies run around in circles bc they didnt go on long enough walks

jean is the planner of the couple, always making sure you guys get tickets to see this that and whatever, always figures out how ur gonna get places and when everyone will be picked up, makes sure everyones schedules are free and that theres no big game release that you'll miss and eren doesnt have work and jean isnt volunteering

in terms of nerdiness jean is a decent middle ground between you (who says "ummm actually..." unironically) and eren (who thought dungeons and dragons was a kinky thing) because he lives with connie so he gets roped into playing stuff like rainbow six seige and watching battlestar galactica into late hours of the night. also he's an only child who was prone to boredom as a kid so he played video games like any other only child. that being said he has a more extroverted personality and aptitude for sports so he just never got as absorbed in it as you did

this kind of makes eren jealous tbh because he thinks jean has more to relate with you then him. but jealousy is like a natural feeling and despite his feigned reluctance jean is happy to share his knowledge with him.

plus eren realizes that what he lacks in video game and movie knowledge he makes up in anime bc jean is clueless on that front. once you went on this huge rant about how sailor moon would decimate goku in a fight and jean just goes "gokus the pirate with the fox spirit, right? hes trying to become number one pro hero right?"

speaking of eren eren and jean are on the same volleyball team (i hc they play volleyball bc theyre tall but i think theyd be cute on any sports team because im weak hearted) and you become their fave cheerleader <3 they look for you in the stands before each game and have their own little ritual for good luck. when he spots you jean jumps really high (despite the team captain, levi screams at him to save it for when the game starts) and makes a heart with his arms and blows you a kiss when he gets in the air and its so embarrassing so eren just dogpiles the embarassment but giving you an over exaggerated wink its the worst theyre gross

jean gets you into connie's discord server after you complain that people are really rude to you in online games and eren is quick to demand an invite too even though he literally plays nothing and has no idea how discord works. he will log in and ping you to show you a meme and even though connie's server is really chill with rules (like 10 ppl max, just some friends hanging out) he has always wanted to say "no memes in general" so he does it every time. you have to show eren how to use private messages once connie jokes abt eren being his discord kitten.

cuddle pile while watching movies... jean is a film buff so you three have movie nights rlly often. its usually you sandwiched in between them with jean behind you and eren in front of you so you can play with his hair. jean's movie taste is actually really broad and you and eren both find a ton of new favorites through him.

they both really like listening to you ramble. you can explain soooo much lore abt your fave series and theyre both really invested. eren is more invested in the characters while jean is more focused on what happens next, but theyre both listening rlly well and making sure you know they care. they kinda care in different ways though? while eren is just passionate and because he's so passionate he must know about all things you like, jean is either interested or just likes hearing your voice. of the two jean is more likely to give you short answers and he'll be more dozed off so he's good to go to when you just want to rant. eren is going to ask you more questions and get wayyy more confused so he's good to go to when you want to explain or flesh out your points.

jean finds eren's jealousy of fictional characters sooooo ridiculous. whenever eren is pouting about some new video game guy youre in love with jean is rolling his eyes because of course its eren jaeger he's just looking for things to get angry at. "what are they gonna do idiot, come out of the tv?" but then one day there's a character that looks a lot like eren and suddenly he understands everything. but he realizes you have a thing for guys with long hair. he'll keep the mullet around for a while

they both really like having you sat in their laps and (unbeknownst to you) in order to avoid conflict they created a system. cozy game? eren. reading? jean. watching anime? eren. watching something live action? jean. playing a game on your phone? eren. watching an analysis video for your favorite franchise? jean. just messing around on your computer? rock paper scissors, best of three. eren likes to hug you tight and rest his head on your shoulder while talking to you. when it gets quiet he'll nuzzle his face in your neck and give you small kisses there. while jean likes to put his hands under your shirt and rest it on your stomach while you two chat. he's puts his head on your head or throws it back depending on your height and kinda just likes letting his hands wander, like rubbing up and down your arms or tickling you lightly.

you: i hate this stupid game

eren: yeah babe that game fucking sucks (has never played it in his life)

jean: then stop playing it?

you and eren, at the same time: what? no.

all in all they are good boyfriends 10/10 would recommend.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[fairycosmos]

hey, i have a sister who struggles with addiction. she moved out from our parents to my place when she turned 18, so that she could have some space and that her highs and lows wouldnt affect our younger siblings that much. but shes been going through a hard time for quite long now, which causes her to treat us around her like complete shit. her behaviour led into a pretty bad argument, which led to me driving her to our parents in the middle of the night cause i couldnt mentally or physically handle the shit she was giving me anymore. after that night, she never returned to mine and told our parents to pick her stuff and move it into a new apartment that she got for herself (which locates in the same building as her friends who she uses substances with). she hasnt reached out to me at all, even though we have been around each other and i cant bare to approach her either, cause im still upset and hurt. my mom said that shes already prepared to lose her. i heard from her friends that shes told them that if she goes unconscious, theyre not allowed to call the ambulance or try to help her. i am worried sick to my stomach everytime i think about her and i feel so powerless. my parents just say that theres nothing more we can do, she goes to psychotherapy and shes under the social services but still i feel like we should do something more to help her or to stop her from destroying herself. im so sorry if this message makes you feel uncomfortable, but since ive followed you for quite awhile and i know your experiences with these things, i would appreciate if you could help me with this situation or at least try to give me some advice, how to cope with these feelings that come from loving your sister that struggles. i dont want to lose her.

hey, i am so sorry to hear this. there's a lot i could say and a lot i want to say but can't really articulate. i don't think there's any one size fits all advice for such a complex and heartbreaking situation. i guess i'll begin with what i'm sure of, and that is that your boundaries and feelings are justified. addiction literally rewires your brain and perception of the world beyond recognition, to the point where the only thing the person cares about is their vice. it's just total tunnel vision, selfishness denial and violence on top of selfishness denial and violence. being around ppl like that, especially a loved one, is beyond exhausting, it's its own special kind of hell. like screaming at a brick wall. it's totally understandable that you had to take a step back after falling victim to her erratic, manipulative and abusive behaviour. the drug use explains it but it absolutely does not excuse it. you're really brave for putting your foot down and prioritizing your own mental stability when it all got to be too much. know you never have to regret that. having said that, it's possible for two conflicting feelings to coexist and for them both to be (for lack of a better word) valid. she's your sister - of course you're worried, of course you're terrified for her. of course you love her even while feeling like you hate her, at times. it's alright to let your emotions be illogical, to just weather the storm and let them pass through you. write it down, talk to your loved ones, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or hotline over it. it's perfectly normal to need that support and talking through your circumstances may be illuminating/lead to some personal revelations regarding how you want to approach this. ultimately, you're angry because you care. after a while i was like that too, with my sister. although i tried to let her know that i was more worried than frustrated during our conversations, sometimes i still couldn't help the internal rage. all because i wanted her to wake up to reality and for her to be okay - i didn't get her thought process at all, didn't get her version of the world. and i felt so fucking powerless because she just strayed so quickly from her path, despite what she was telling me, despite her being relatively fine mere months prior. despite us being best friends and on good terms. it's a headfuck, and you don't have to know what to do, you don't have to have anything figured out. just try to focus on what you need, today.

the hardest thing to accept is the fundamental truth of the situation, and that is that you can't fix this for her. can't love her out of it, can't enable her out of it, can't fight her out of it. all you can do is be there for her emotionally while still maintaining the appropriate boundaries necessary to preserve ur own mental wellbeing. it's completely okay if you need more time - i know you said you cant bear to reach out to her at the moment, which makes total sense. but since you sent this message and i can still see that you're beyond concerned and it's only getting worse, maybe you could consider calling her or sending her a text or meeting her for coffee when you're ready. just to let her know you haven't stopped thinking of her. and that you care about her so much, that when/if she's ready to get help you will be with her every step of the way. even if shes battling addiction for the rest of her life. if she screams at you, if she breaks down, if she ignores you for what you say - fine. but at least she'll know on some level that she is not alone, and at least you'll know you did what you could with what was in your control. also about her being under social services - is there any way you could get in touch with them, maybe explain that youre still worried about her and that you think she needs a higher level of care, maybe ask them if theres anything proactive you can do in collaboration with them to maximize the help shes getting? i dont know how it works where you are, that might be a no go, but i just thought i'd mention it. i'm sorry, i know it's a disappointing answer, but i really don't realistically think there's any other. there's only so much of this that is in your hands and so far it sounds like you've done and are doing everything possible to stay sane while looking out for her. i really really hope something clicks for her and that she starts to listen to you and her loved ones soon, that she begins to approach recovery out of the genuine need to get better. but it really does have to come from within her, all you can do is encourage it. im sending you both so much love. i know more than anyone how fucking stressful it is to have to wake up to this every day, and i'm so sorry. if you need someone to talk to, my inbox will always be open. you deserve peace in your own life, too. take care x

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[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S2 E12

quarantine: may 31 2020

season 2 episode 12: “Rubicon”

the guy is running. watch he just die and no one gets clarkes message. i would love it if clarkes plane just backfired but of course they save him. 

ok but wait why was cage just random carrying a oxygen tank when he himself doesnt even need one.

tsing out here with her own personal army. then just plucking these kids one by one. damn 

these grounders really be listening to clarke just because lexa said so?? damn these grounders be loyal minus gustus and that one guy that tried to kill clarke but then got eaten by king kong

is raven really the only person out here doing all this crap?? like does clarke not realize how big of an ask shes asking of raven? raven is magic and shit but she has some limitations just to be somewhat realistic. just chill the fuck out clarke raven is doing the best out here arguably more than clarke.

i love how bellamy is still wearing that hat still looking like sean malto. but also how has someone not noticed him? but i guess bellamy like joe from you as in if he wears a hat he magically blends in.

“...all of this is for nothing” way to put pressure on prettyboy bellamy like he didnt already know that. chill clarke everyone is trying their best out here. ngl i would hate to have clarke as a manager cuz i think she would micromanage the shit out of people. 

remember in the last episode when clarke asked what her job was well i think that i figured it out:

i also wanna mention that finn literally died idk less than a week ago but clarkes in charge being out and about commanding people years her senior. i get that we had that whole episode dedicated to how finns death affects clarke but still she got over that pretty quick. a little too quick. but i guess that if youre a sky person your emotional metabolism is just through the fucking roof...

ooo clarke still be salty toward her mom. but yeah kane is kinda an enabler

but why do these people have clear paper. the art department is feeling themselves on that one. like is it because they wanted to be edgy and futuristic or is it from an actual realistic viewpoint that the space people dont have trees to create paper................does this also mean that the space people didnt have toilet paper???????? but also back to the paper thing did these kids never learn how to write in cursive??? since i would imagine actual writing utensils are limited so idk if they waste it on teaching kids cursive. actually tho does anyone have an answer to these questions??? 

where did jaha get that antler stick. i kinda want one. i like to imagine that he just saw it lying somewhere on their way to the desert and said to himself i would look epic holding that stick and then went to pick up and started using it even tho he doesnt actually need a walking stick....any hunter x hunter fans?

jaha’s mask at 8:29 is an example of what not to wear during corona season

“thanks for the water?”...while looking down a bit flustered ”its, uh..it was no problem” emori and murphy? ship?

bellamy crawling through air vents to save the day...magenta from sky high who??

also bellamy’s ear piece is giving me everything. *i know that the following meme is just a tiny phone but i just really like it so idgaf

again with the inaccuracy of bone marrow extraction.

but what really gets me is clarke recognizing what procedure is going o just by the sound of a drill. ok who is she? she be like the boy that can identify a vacuum just by the sound. For those that don’t know what I’m talking about:

https://youtu.be/Ar5nLNku0CM

A missile?? where did these people get a missile

But also imagine if clarke was like actually i didn’t catch any of that conversation and bellamy just had to recap it like Luis in ant-man. I would die

thats a lot to ask of raven clarke. Like i could never get that shit done no matter how long you gave me. Yeah ppl be screwed if i was part of the 100

That hug btw Clarke and raven...ship? Jk i know it was just a friendship hug but yah can never know with these writers. Like i honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the writers said enemies (being part of that love triangle with finn) to friends to lovers

murphy and emori are definitly a ship. walking together behind with everyone else. Murphy said “i killed two people. I had my reasons but nobody cared.” Fuck you murphy you killed them cuz you a salty bitch. I also hate how he says this so blasé. Like dude want?? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Murphy also said im the bad guy. Murphy is a billie elish fan?? Duh.

woah when that girl pulled out her claw????? I fell out of my seat. its actually huge. she could grab a whole basket all. They did a great job concealing/ not drawing attention to her hand before like i was so fucking surprised.

“Its pretty badass” and murphy looking at that claw tho...murphy is into kinky shit. But also that look he gave her while she walked away that was the most genuine look I’ve ever seen out of murphy.

Bellamy shoving jasper into a wall and whispering...bellamy and jasper? ship?

this secret talk between bellamy and Dante....bellamy and president Dante? ship?

But i also like to imagine that during this meeting that bellamy has the song dont be suspious. Dont be suspious playing in his head

woah. Mountain man said inconito mode activated. Reminds me of one of those green soldiers in toy story especially during the opening scene of i think the first movie

This character development in clarke is something else like remember when she talked about the grounders wanting finn out in the open and not in private causing a huge public uproar. Look at her now talking in private with Lexa about the missile. Phenomenal character growth if you ask me.

they really put all their eggs in one basket with bellamy. But bellamy be a really good basket tho. Trust Lexa trust.

where tf did this guy get an RPG??

Woah Emori be the real bad guy. But honestly she could slit Murphy’s throat and he would still live because cockroaches can still live without their head.

raven you should have just shut up. You really dropped the ball there.

lincoln???? What are the chances??? Isn’t he still a druggie?? Honestly octavias little speech would not motivate me at all. If anything it would make me want to take more drugs. At this point i would just say to Lincoln “dont fight it”

i like how they took everything but they let jaha keep his stick.

caspian is reall dressed like a hipster that sells artisanal kombucha

Jaha really has some faith in murphy...jaha and murphy? ship?

Also that was a really good shot of them murphy, jaha, and their crew climbing up the hill with a giant moon in the background

Lexa is giving me padme vibez wearing that head scarf like that

they were going to let kane and indra die

yeah sorry to break it to you abby but your child is a killer but then again so are you sooo..you really cant be out here to judge your kid like that. Like mother like daughter. But you really cant lecture clarke on this. you literally gave your husband up and you let your daughter blame her best friend for it. And on top of this you were part of the council that sent 100 kid down to earth without even knowing if earth was survivable. ma’m get the fuck outta here.

but all those lives for bellamy. i think its worth it. Because bellamy is worth everything.

theyre linking arms they got monty no!! absolutely not. they took jasper but i gotta say better he than monty bc Monty is king. Yeah jasper really fumbled with that gun. Really not smart. jasper should have just shot tsing instead

Oof a containment breach. wow what an epic door stop. Sooo loong tsing. That was such a cruel death tho but yeah she kinda deserved it.

Does Dante play the cello?? A real renaissance man isn’t he?

wow this makes octaiva and lincoln like an epic couple that conquered the world. power couple. Goals *gag* but ok does that mean that Lincoln just stopped cold turkey just like that?? Hes just automatically better? No this is not how drug addiction works. But ok sure Jan.

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.

[horansqueen]

BabyGirl 7.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts ♥ 3.4k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ idk how i feel about this chapter? only his POV btw, was easier this way. please tell me if youre still interested in this story? i feel like its dying slowly lol ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1  // PART 2 // PART 3  // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6

              7.0  NEW MUSIC AND IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

HIM

Maybe It's time you go home.

Her words resonated in my head over and over as I drove back to my house and I couldn't help but wonder if I was really going to kiss her out of pity. I've been flooded with so many intense feelings in the past days that it was sometimes hard to unscramble. I barely understood myself, so I couldn't expect her to understand me at all.

The only thing I was sure of, is that I loved Chelsea. If I could have created the perfect child for me, I wouldn't even have came close to that perfection. She was turning me into a different man, a better one I believed, and I was so proud to be her dad it almost hurt. Still, if I wanted to be honest with myself, I shat my pants just thinking about her reaction to finding out I was her father. I could live easily with what the rest of the world would think, but if Chelsea didn't want me as a dad, I had no idea how I would take it.

I threw my keys on the counter and locked the door behind me, taking my coat off and leaving it on the couch, along with my beanie and my scarf. I walked slowly to the kitchen and opened my fridge, staring way too long at the inside of it. I was not exactly sure of what I wanted, and it made me think of her. I also was not really sure what I wanted when it came to my ex girlfriend. Did I want her to be my ex ex girlfriend? Or was I attracted to her simply because of the vestige of feelings that were once really fucking strong?

I couldn't blame her for moving away when I decided to kiss her but when I brushed my thumb on her bottom lip, I realized that even if I was not sure of the feelings we truly had for each other, I was well aware of how my body vibrated when she was near and it brought an other question in my head. Was it simply lust? Would we finally succumb to the temptation in weeks from now only to find out that it was only physical attraction? That thought made me grimace and I bent down to quickly grab a beer.

The last thing she told me was to leave and I felt like it ended things very badly. I didn't want to hurt her, and my instinct really told me to kiss her. My head, however, kept reminding me of all the wrongs she did me and it made me sigh.

I grabbed my phone and turned it on again. I had only brought it in case of an emergency but I was not going to let myself be distracted by it when I was spending time with my daughter. It turned on slowly and I sighed for the second time when all the notifications popped up. One made me frown though and I opened it, only to see an amazing picture of Chelsea on my shoulders with fireworks in the background. It was a great photo, and even if I knew it was her job as a photographer, I was still impressed by the quality of the picture. She hadn't written anything but the date and I quickly changed the background of my phone for this photo.

'Thank you for the picture Xx' i typed quickly before hitting 'send'.

I stared at the words I sent, my thumb still hovering over the keyboard of my phone, wondering if I should type anything else.

'I didn't want to hurt you. I'm happy we spent the day together,'

I debated whether or not I should try to comfort her, but no matter what I would send her couldn't be the completely truth. I couldn't tell her it wasn't a pity kiss I wanted to give her because I had no idea if it was. I couldn't tell her I wanted to try again with her since I was not even sure of my feelings. All I could do was tell her what I knew and was a hundred percent sure of.

I waited way too long for her answer, standing motionless in the middle of my kitchen, and finally gave up. I sighed, closing my eyes and sliding my phone on the isle next to me, and finally walked to my room, deciding that I needed a shower.

She hadn't texted me in a few days and although I was well aware that I had to wait for her to show signs of life, I was getting impatient. It's only on the morning of the third day without any news from her or my daughter that I got a text message from her.

'Niall I need you.'

I felt my heart jump in my chest, questioning the signification of her words but a few seconds later, I got an other text from her, clearing my doubts.

'I have to work today and I have no one to babysit Chelsea."

Her first text was not declaring her love for me in a short text message, she just needed someone to take care of our daughter while she was at work. I thought I would feel relieved but what invaded my whole body seemed more like disappointment. I shook my head slightly and finally, a smile appeared on my lips. Not only was I going to spend the whole day with my daughter but now I knew that my ex girlfriend trusted me enough to let me stay with Chelsea by myself.

'I'm on my way."

It only took me a few seconds to grab a coat and jump in my car and when she opened the door to let me in, she quickly left it open and continued getting ready.

"Thank you so much, Niall!" she expressed from an other room before coming back. "They called me last minute."

She had traded her sweatpants for a skirt and did all she could not to look into my eyes. I could understand that the last time we saw each other was awkward and emotional but I felt awful thinking things would be cold between us from now on.

"A photoshoot?" I asked, closing the door behind me and taking my shoes off.

"Oh, I wish, no." she admitted with a sigh, rolling her eyes as she ran around, trying to put her earrings on at the same time. "Being a photographer is not what I would call 'profitable', especially when you're a freelancer. I had to take a second job to pay the bills, you know how it is."

I kept quiet because I had no idea what it was. I did work my ass off all the time, doing something I adored, but not knowing if i'll have enough money to eat next week isn't something that ever happened to me.

I couldn't pretend it didn't break my heart to find out she was struggling so much and i was tempted to propose her a few solutions that I thought about. I decided against it, remembering we weren't on the best terms at the moment, but took a mental note to have a discussion with her later.

"I work in a hotel, at the restaurant during the day, and at the bar in the evening." she told me, raising her nose in a grimace. "I know, not really glamorous, but some clients pay very well."

I pressed my lips together, keeping my comments to myself, and let my eyes roam around.

"Where's Chelsea?"

"She's getting ready. She's very excited to spend the day with you. Be prepared, your day is going to be extremely long."

With a chuckle, she looked up and our eyes met, making her smile falter but mine grow. She breathed in and sighed as I took a step closer, keeping my eyes into hers.

"I'm sorry for the other day." i apologized in a very low tone. "I didn't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you."

Without thinking, I brought my hand to her cheek and she held her breath as my fingertips brushed against her skin.  I could feel my heart throb all over my body until she took a step back and looked away, bending down to grab a toy and throw it in the hall.

"It's okay Niall." she let out, grabbing her purse and opening it to look for something in it, once again not looking at me. "We both made mistakes and now it's over, let's move on."

I didn't know if she wanted to move on from this uncomfortable situation between us, or if she wanted us to give up on the feelings we weren't sure we had, but I didn't like it. I didn't really have time to ask her to elaborate.

"Okay so I'm gonna leave you a key of the apartment, but I thought you'd want to babysit her at your place. Either way I don't mind. Don't turn off you phone, leave the sound on, and if you have any problem, just call Louis, he will know what to do."

I nodded as she kept talking, grabbing her coat and putting it on. I couldn't help but think it was too cold outside for the outfit she wore but I kept quiet.

"Chelsea! Baby! I'm leaving!" she yelled loud enough for our daughter to hear before lowering her tone. "No junk food, no chocolate or trust me she'll make you regret it. Fruits, yogurt, ice cream, it's all good. She hates fish, too, and don't let her boss you around."

I had no idea how I was supposed to remember all of this but I just nodded, trying to engrave her recommendations in my brain, although I was pretty sure I was going to forget half of them.

"I'll text you when I'm done so you can tell me where you are and I'll just pick Chelsea up, okay?" she didn't wait for my answer and handed me a key. "There, lock behind you will you?"

Without thinking, she moved closer and I held my breath but she quickly stopped herself and turned around just as Chelsea entered the room. The dynamic they had together and that intense connection was something that fascinated me, especially since it seemed like they didn't even see it. She bent down and Chelsea let herself fall in her arms. They hugged for a while, and I noticed she was whispering something in her ear. My daughter nodded a few times and pulled away as they smiled to each other before moving closer again and brushing their noses against each other's. it made me chuckle low and my ex girlfriend finally got up, caressing her face gently.

"I really need to go, good luck, Niall."

She pressed her hand gently on my shoulder and it took me by surprise, accelerating my heartbeats for a few seconds but when I heard the door close behind her, I turned to Chelsea and sent her a smile, raising my eyebrows.

"Happy to spend the day with me?"

"Are you gonna show me where you live?" she asked with a frown, ignoring my question.

"Mmhm, if you want to!"

She clapped her hands a few times, a large smile on her lips, and grabbed her pink backpack, throwing it over her shoulders

"I'm ready!"

"Woa, Chels, you may need a coat and something to put on your head too, don't you think?"

She giggled but nodded as I started searching for her stuff but when I looked back at her, she was already dressing up. She struggled a bit but I bent down to help her with the sleeves of her coat before grabbing the beanie and pulling it on her head, over her eyes. She laughed more but stayed that way until I moved the beanie up slightly, allowing her to see. I took the scarf and put it around her neck and finally, I tilted my head, asking her if she was ready. She nodded frenetically and I laughed, getting back up and grabbing the bag her mother prepared.

I locked and we walked to my car. I was nervous and excited but I didn't know if I was going to succeed this test, because that's exactly how it felt like : a test. One that I was making myself try to pass, at least.

I made sure her seat belt was tied correctly and couldn't help but glance back at her through the mirror as we drove in silence. When we walked in my house, I turned the lights on and her eyes roamed all over the living room. Her lips parted and after a few seconds, she turned to me and grinned.

"This is where you live?" I nodded and she turned again to look at my Christmas tree. "Why don't you use lights of all colors?"

She quickly turned to me and frowned as I chuckled.

"I don't know, do you prefer multicolored lights?" I asked, glancing at the soft white lights in my tree.

Without even thinking, she nodded firmly and I bent down again, unzipping her coat and helping her getting undressed.

"I'll remember that, then."

I put our coats away and we both sat on the couch. She put her backpack between her legs and quickly opened it, placing books, movies and a few toys between us.

"What do you want to do today, Chelsea?"

"You're gonna read me stories, and we will watch movies, and we will play with my favorite barbies, and we will eat, too."

"Are you hungry?"

She nodded and I told her to leave her stuff on the couch and to follow me to the kitchen. I ended up making grilled cheese for both of us and we ate quickly in silence until she just looked up at me to stare. I sent her a smile and raised my eyebrows, watching her take a sip of her glass of milk before putting it back on the table, now looking at me with a milk mustache. I tried to keep my laughter inside and just licked my lips.

"Is everything okay, Chelsea?"

Without answering my question, she tilted her head. I grabbed my water bottle and she waited until I was literally drinking from it to talk again.

"Are you my new daddy?"

I choked on my water, trying not to spill it everywhere, and coughed a few time.

"What?"

"I saw you and mommy kissing the other day after the fireworks."

She was probably half asleep and had imagined it but who could blame her? I remembered holding her mom's face so close to mine that our lips brushed. I remembered being so close to kiss her that my heartbeats were erratic. I remembered feeling her warm breath against my lips. These thoughts made me shiver and I cleared my throat, trying to find a good answer. We hadn't kissed, but my daughter couldn't understand the complexity of the relationship her mother and I were in.

"Would you want me to be your new daddy, Chelsea?"

The answer was important for me, but she just shrugged and looked down at her plate. I waited a few seconds and she finally looked up.

"I want my daddy to come back."

I felt my heart jump so high in my chest that I had to swallow, as if it went close to escape by my throat. I could read sadness in her eyes and I felt extremely bad. She was only four and was already suffering from not having a father in her life.

"Where do you think your dad is, Chels?"

She tilted her head and squinted, lost in her thoughts.

"I think he's busy being a princess."

This time, I was glad I wasn't drinking water because I would have definitely choked on it for good.

"A princess?"

"Yes." she nodded. "He can't be here with me because he has to take care of a whooooole kingdom."

"That makes sense, but why a princess? Why not a king or a prince?"

"Princesses have more fun, and they can wear nice dresses like the ones mommy buys for me." she explained, making my lips curl. "I'm sure my daddy prefers to be a princess."

Her mind was intriguing but also incredible, and that made me realize I had never really been close to a little girl. No one close to me had a daughter I really interacted with, and the fact that Chelsea was my daughter suddenly made me extremely proud.

"No matter where your father is, Chelsea, he loves you, he cares for you, and he's thinking about you. And I know he would give anything to be with you, if he could."

She nodded and sent me a warm smile that made me hold my breath. I desperately wanted to tell her it was me, that there was nothing I wanted more than to be her father, but I kept it inside and brought our plates to the counter.

"You remember that shirt you wear to bed?" I asked her as we walked back to the living room. "Would you like to hear some of their songs?"

Her eyes opened wide and she looked up at me, her chin raised up.

"Do you think my daddy likes that band?"

"No doubt."

I put my spotify on the television to make sure the music would invade the room and when I turned around, Chelsea was sitting on the couch. She looked extremely tiny on my gigantic couch and it made me chuckle. She leaned her head on it to look at the ceiling as I started the first song.

I started with "Can't get you outta my mind" and sat next to her, leaning my head exactly the way she was. She waited about a minute after the song was over and I turned my head to look at her.

"What did you think?"

She stared at me and frowned slightly.

"I want to hear an other one."

Her attitude made me laugh and I started "She's a sensation". I closed my eyes and when the song was over, I let the next one play on random and felt my heart twist when "I won't let it happen" started. For some reason, the lyrics really hit me and I tried to keep my feelings in, turning to Chelsea again.

"So?"

"I like them." she just expressed, nodding slowly.

"Yea, me too."

My phone beeped and I grabbed it, to check the notifications.

'I heard you were babysitting. Freddie and I are coming over!'

I grimaced at Louis' message but decided to ask Chelsea what she wanted. I was not against seeing Louis, but at the same time, it was going on so well and easily with my daughter that I was not sure I really needed him.

"Louis and Freddie want to come over, what do you say?"

"YESSSSS!!!"

I watched her throw her tiny arms in the air and it made me laugh as I answered Louis' message. I was ready to give her anything she wanted, and although I knew it could be dangerous, seeing Chelsea happy was pretty much my only motivation for... everything.

"Maybe we could order a pizza for dinner?" I proposed. "What do you prefer on yours?"

"Cheese and mushrooms!"

"Mushrooms?" I asked with a chuckle. "Really?"

She nodded quickly and I decided to put on a movie she had brought while I would order. She sat better on the couch to watch what I thought was 'Open Season" and I walked to my room, sitting on it as I ordered pizza with my phone. As soon as I hung up, my phone beeped again.

'Order pizza, Neil. We're hungry!'

His message made me laugh and I shook my head, only sending him the emoji of a thumb up. For the first time since I found out Chelsea was my daughter, I felt at peace. I knew I would have to tell her who I really was at some point, but I didn't want to focus on that. I wanted to focus on spending time with her, getting to know her, and allowing her to get to know me too. I wanted to be a part of her life and it seemed like we got off to a good start, and I didn't want it to end.

[meggannn]

LOL YOUR ROOMMATE?? I can't stop laughing omg

god did i ever share the full story of what happened with my housemate last year? i think i bitched about her a little bit but here’s the full write-up of my six months with that housemate. unedited and probably full of errors and discrepancies sorry cause im going off entirely from memory

i’ve now moved out of this apartment, but i was there for a year with three other girls. two of them i got along with fine, and we introduced ourselves to each other before we moved in because that’s common courtesy to see if we get along right? but basically before any of us could talk or interview candidates for the last spot in the apartment, this girl, i’m making up a name and calling her emily, this random girl named emily basically came in and signed on for the spot on the lease without talking to any of us. uh, okay? so we eventually all get in a group chat and talk and introduce ourselves and plan to move in. day one:  emily moved in before me and i moved in a few hours later. i walk in and see the kitchen and she’s already covered the fridge with magnets and pictures and paper clippings featuring…. herself. like, a few of them had her friends, but most of the pictures were of her. basically. am i crazy or is that fucking weird? so from the get-go she just seemed……. if not privileged (which i also knew she was later), then definitely some sort of weird type of entitled but i couldn’t tell if it was maybe just cultural differences? (she was russian but had grown up in the states. idk)

anyway. she had this boyfriend who would come over occasionally, it was no problem since we didn’t talk and just waved hi to each other occasionally. but from the first week she and another housemate who lived on the far end of the apartment were both having trouble sleeping because someone else on the floor was blaring their tv loudly all hours of the night in the room next door. after several weeks of not being able to sleep through the night, they’d pretty much had enough and managed to track down whose apartment it was, and it turned out to be this elderly black woman’s apartment. i don’t really know if the woman understood why they were so upset because i think she might have been going slightly senile as well, so i think maybe the tv, or the volume, was something she wasn’t entirely aware she was doing? but the other housemate, i’ll call her veronica (who is more chill but was still upset) understood that this was probably not a fight they wanted to pick. veronica noticed that the elderly woman had a middle-aged male visitor, who looked like family, come visit the woman a few times a week and take care of her/take out the trash etc, so veronica decided to wait until she saw the visitor again to talk to him about lowering the volume or turning the tv off, or maybe getting his relative headphones or something. but emily, like….. kept pushing it every single night. every single night for the first month or so she’d stomp across the floor and rap on the door loud enough to wake up the entire floor (the walls were thin and it wasn’t a big building). and most of the time the woman didn’t respond, but there was one notable time someone else got fed up enough to wake up at 2am and yell at emily (deservedly so) for waking up the whole hall. all of which i heard very clearly because my room was next to the main door to out apt.

things escalated when i overheard emily talking to her friend on the phone about the situation and then she mentioned that in retaliation, she went over in the middle of the night and put vaseline on the woman’s door handle. i was kind of stunned and disgusted that a grown ass adult (she’s at least a few years older than me, i’d guess late 20′s/early 30′s?) would do something like that???? but anyway a few nights later iirc, once again in the middle of the night, i was woken up by a shouting match down the hall because apparently the male relative had come back to check in on who he said was his mother, and HE WAS PISSED, UNDERSTANDABLY SO, AT FINDING MY ROOMMATE IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING VASELINE ON THE FLOOR CREVICE UNDER THE DOOR. LIKE. THAT’S NOT JUST PETTY BUT REAL FUCKING DANGEROUS TO DO TO AN ELDERLY WOMAN. he basically shouted at her and she kept talking about how she can’t sleep for months because of the noise, and whatever, but she stomped back to our apartment and they had this argument loudly at the door (remember, my room was right next to the front door). i listened to it for a couple minutes wondering if she would like, acknowledge what she did was wrong? and it became clear that she was so focused on the noise she wasn’t listening to this dude, so i came out and i tried to be a voice of reason. the guy was understandably really pissed that she would do something like that and i apologized for her and said she was wrong to do that (she had stomped off back to her room meanwhile) and he seemed grateful to talk to someone who wasn’t batshit crazy in the meantime so he mentioned that he had grown up in this building all his life before moving out so it hurt to see someone treat his mother this way who had lived here for 50 years or something. and after that i was just thinking like, jesus, this is so not the kind of fight you want to have with a family like this as a white woman in a gentrified apartment complex. like at some point you need to realize this is not your fucking place and if you must settle things, do it civilly or just dip out entirely.

i think emily eventually apologized and he accepted and they found out that the tv wasn’t even coming from the woman’s room at all, but from someone on the floor above who THEY also had had problems with for months.

veronica was away on a trip i think during this climax, but before, while it was still escalating, i was talking with veronica and veronica mentioned she and emily had bitched about the noise to each other often, but veronica said she drew the line when emily basically started making her complaints race-themed ever since she found out the elderly woman was black. etc the complaints turned from “it’s too loud” to “this neighborhood is so ghetto” and “that’s what black ppl are like” and stuff like that. veronica wasn’t cool with that, so she planned on handling any other complaints herself directly so she could resolve things like a normal person, but ever since veronica mentioned that i knew emily was a pos

emily also complained about people partying/drinking on the street outside till ~11pm, which imo isn’t too unreasonable, like normal people do, and basically being too loud or whatever. on some level i get it cause she had to go to sleep early to go to work early, but also at some point i was just wondering how she functioned as a human being in the real world

ANYWAY THE STORY I TELL AT PARTIES IS THIS ONE, THE ONE IN WHICH SHE LEAVES (i will try to keep this as short as possible while still giving you all the details you need to understand just how fucking weird it was):

in early november, emily group messaged everyone asking if her boyfriend could come live with us. to her credit she said she wouldn’t do it unless everyone was ok, and she waited to hear back from all of us. i was out of town at the time but i remember being really put off by this idea and i was going to say no, when i noticed that my two other housemates had ALREADY said yes in the chat. just like that. i was stunned. what? like, no follow-up questions or “we dont even really know him” or “how is this gonna work”? were they fucking insane?

i messaged her privately saying i really wasn’t comfortable with it, for xyz reasons. among those being 1) rent, because nowhere did she offer to split the rent five ways instead of four (they were basically going to split her room between them, which, no). 2) fridge/living space, which was small enough with four people to one apartment as it is, and 3) just overall “i dont fucking know him” atmosphere. she messaged back saying she understood, and i got to asking why this was so important to her to do now, because she mentioned she wanted to do it “asap” if we’d said yes.

and this is where my “no” turned into “hell fucking no.” she told me this:

in response to my question of if she’d want to put him on the lease, she said no, she wouldn’t want her boyfriend on the lease in case “something happens so she could just tell him to leave” (raising my question: what, exactly, do you expect to happen? maybe the landlord, who lives in the building, finding out someone’s living here illegally? bc THAT WOULD DO IT FOR ME)

she was marrying him in december which is why she wanted it to happen “soon” so they wouldnt be living apart. i asked why she couldnt just wait until the lease was up to do all this, to which she said:

her boyfriend’s green card (he was russian) had expired so he was now paying month to month and that’s when i realized, oh. bitch he’s using you for a green card marriage and you’re trying to inconvenience all of us instead of owning your life like an adult, or something

at some point during the conversation she like tried to bribe me with a couple hundred extra dollars per month “to cover the cost of the extra utlities/wifi/inconvenience,” which i politely declined. this was when i said basically “look i never got the sense you particularly liked living here (massive understatement) and i think that it’d work out best if you moved out, which you’re clearly already planning to do”

and she did start looking immediately. at some point while she was looking i overheard her talking to veronica mentioning that he was a huge fan of putin and she’d asked him to like, politely, stop?, lmao because she didn’t like his entire yknow politics, and he basically said “i’m sorry, i can’t betray my personal/national identity, i just really believe in putin” or whatever the fuck and i thought to myself, this bitch is marrying him anyway for some godforsaken reason

i don’t know why i hoped that she would be any more considerate moving out than when she moved in, but somehow i was still surprised when the sublet she picked out was someone she never introduced us to or mentioned before, she literally just said “hey here’s your new housemate and when she’s moving in” and dropped us a phone number and facebook page.

one last thing: while emily was moving out, veronica mentioned to me that she was really pleased i stood up to her because she felt massively uncomfortable with the situation too. i asked why she didn’t say something, and she said she talked to emily privately airing out her problems, and emily had managed to talk her into accepting that sort-of bribe privately off message, and emily told her ‘just say yes’ in the chat, so she did and was kind of kicking herself for it after. (our other housemate was off doing fuck knows what at this point; she was gone for weeks on end leaving us to take care of her guinea pigs for her with little to no warning.)

but then, veronica says, the big thing that astounds her is that this wasn’t even the same boyfriend who she’d had when she’d moved in. six months had passed by this point. SHE HAD BEEN DATING GREEN CARD GUY FOR LIKE, THREE MONTHS WHEN SHE DROPPED THIS ON US

and then she moved to fucking harlem, one of the yknow most diverse neighborhoods in the city known particularly for its black heritage, so i guess have fun honey

(her replacement somehow turned out to be just as bad as she was, so you can imagine why i was eager for my lease to end in may)

[simkjrs]

msa asks (chap. 4  & onwards)

masterpost of msa asks that have been piling up, starting from when chapter 4 was published. thanks for your patience everyone...

answered in chronological order (first sent to most recently sent). i might have missed a couple, sorry about that

Anonymous said: IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT IT'S OUT

Anonymous said: *INCOHERENT SCREECHING AND FLAILING*

ah, the halcyon days of innocence, before everyone finished reading the chapter

Anonymous said: *just finished chp4* uh Yeah about that what the fuck? simk whAT THE HELL DID YOU POUR GUNPOWDER ON YOUR PC? LOAD 14 BULLETS ON EVERY KEY ON YOUR KEYBOARD? SEND KILLER ZAPS TO ANYONE WHO SCROLLS UNTIL THE END OF THE CHAPTER? I WAS SO EXCITED ABT THE UPDATE THAT I COMPLETELY FORGOT THAT U WERE ACTUALLY A MURDERER IN DISGUISE? ANOTHER BEGINNERS MISTAKE, BECAUSE EVERYTHING U WRITE FUCKS ME UP ON EVERY FUCKING LEVEL? SO YEah what i wanted to say is that i love you

to date this is still one of the funniest asks i’ve ever gotten and it’s going in my testimonials

Anonymous said: me @ the new msa chapter:👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

thank you, i do my best

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD! YOU REALLY PUT THE SNAKE FASHION THING!! :DDD :OOO

it was too good to pass up!! if you want to message me w/ ur name or url so i can credit you for inspo/the prompt, feel free :p

Anonymous said: I actually thought in the middle of the chapter that temple-dog would help Izuku escape so he would get captured by the other side of the coin and now i'm just crying

fjdlfkjsldf im sorry im like this. i do this 

Anonymous said: in just a few hours the comments went from 5 to flipping 23 25

yeah im very lucky to have so many people follow & support my writing!! im grateful to everyone who comments.

Anonymous said: I wonder how being sick works for MSA Izuku. In that odd state of not being as aware as usual and your mind being foggy, would he hear that star song easier or any other odd spirit shenanigans?

he’d just be kind of out of it and more susceptible to... things 

Anonymous said: SCREAMS?? I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH AND THIS CHAPTER WAS ABSOLUTELY STELLAR, THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY BRIGHTENING MY NIGHT! I HOPE YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC TIME!!

ahh im really glad you enjoyed chapter four that much!! thank you!!!

Anonymous said: IM HOLLERIN THE NEW CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD WTF??

fjldkfsldf thank you.... 

Anonymous said: When I first commented on Ao3 I felt like looking at the other comments and I noticed all of them (at the time) had a line along the lines of "he needs a break" so I ended up imagining him just sunbathing on some tropical beach (read deserted island) sipping coconut Juice and sighing happily with noone to bother him.

that would be ideal. i think izuku also would not know what to do with himself

Anonymous said: MSA Izuku ch.4 summary: Kirishima: Hey are you ok? Izuku, literally on fire: Why, what's wrong?

GHFLKDFJLSDF IM LAUGHING!!! YOURE NOT WRONG

Anonymous said: I just finished msa ch4 and im?? Its 0 dark 00 and I have a 7 hour shift later Toda but I had to put it down and gnash my teeth over how GORGEOUS and HEARTBREAKING this chapter was before picking it up and finishing it. God im so stoked that it came out. Alright my pal, I hope you have a good time period of indeterminate length; take care of yourself yo!!

thank you im so glad you enjoyed it!! and i hope things have been good for you!

Anonymous said: ffuuuUUUUCK THAT TEMPLE-DOG YO WHAT AN AWFUL ICKY THING TO DO

correct, although in its defense, if izuku had just been another spirit, their connection would not have had that kind of effect 

Anonymous said: Uh, sorry if this bothering you, this has something to do with Msa Izuku, but not the new chapter (love it BTW, poor Izuku got captured by Overhaul. The cat is a new bar.).So, I would like to ask, just for fun, what would Izuku sees if he meets C/astiel face to face and how would the spirits react?

i think my worldbuilding and spn worldbuilding would conflict in so many terrible ways, but... izuku would prob be able to see c/astiel’s wings and true form? only for a bit before his eyes started getting itchy, and then started bleeding... dont think the spirits would like angels very much. spirits are a very prideful and arrogant bunch who don’t like to be intruded upon or interfered with

Anonymous said: who is Senshajou other than an amazing creature which I love already

senshajou is plato’s ideal cat. they are not exactly a spirit. they just are

Anonymous said: I'm suuuper curious about what the One for All spirit looks like in MSA, because my first thought is that it'd have to be this massive chimeric mutant due to the nature of it's creation and the fact it's been bonded to eight separate people.

coming back and reading this is incredibly funny because like. yeah. ofa is a chimera. not quite for the reasons you think, but yeah

Anonymous said: You know what I'm thinking right now? What of kiri and deku met in public after The Arrest™. The sheer chaos it would bring. The Confusion ™. I'm sure deku would just take one look at kiri and just. Book it. Also ch4 helped inspire me in my endavour to write about my etheral starlight dragon god for a original story i've been thinking up. You're really good at describing creatures beyond Imagination, you know.

you have correctly predicted this scenario. 

also im glad ch4 was able to help you in your writing endeavors!! best of luck!!

Anonymous said: whenever i read msa i always picture izuku wearing like, some kind of grey cloak, with the hood always up and shadowing his eyes no matter the context/location/surrounding temperature. It doesn't make any sense given the general fashion in bnha but I can't help it- msa!izuku is a cloak kinda guy imo

you’re right but msa izuku would also hate the attention that would come with wearing a cloak. he is definitely a hood-up kind of guy

Anonymous said: msa au in which Deku escapes the villain alliance, breaks into Kirishima's home, and just, fucking collapses on the couch. Kirishima gets up the next morning to see the fucking cryptid he'd hunted for days just, sleeping on his couch like a giant cat. What the fuck. What the fuck.

hold that thought

Anonymous said: So I'm reading ch 4 and listening to "I appear missing" by queens of the stone age and it works ridiculously well ngl (also like gd this chapter is so good the hype is real👍👍)

thank you!! this is a p cool song

Anonymous said: In MSA does everyone have a spirit? Have people always had spirits? Do you know how quirks started? Do even quirkless people have spirits? Why don't they have quirks? Could Izuku open their channel, or is the quirk canceling bullets different from quirkless people? So many questions!

most everyone has a spirit but not everyone, people have not always had guardian spirits, i do know how quirks started, quirkless people have spirits, they don’t have quirks because their bodies have not adapted to channel their spirit’s energy adequately, and izuku can try something with unlocking quirks, but it depends on what there is to work with already. quirk cancelling bullets rewind the bond between spirit and human but they don’t erase the adaptations to the body. quirkless people dont have that adaptation in the first place... hope that makes sense 

Anonymous said: dunno if this's been mentioned/acknowledged or asked about before, but wheres izuku's guardian spirit?

he ain’t got one. but why... 

Anonymous said: CHOO CHOO IT'S THE UNRESOLVED EMOTIONAL ISSUES TRAIN COMING IN AT 242379 MILES AN HOUR THERE ARE NO STOPS THERE ARE NO BRAKES WE DIE LIKE MEN ON THE HELL EXPRESS ~bakugous spirit

this is a joke but actually, yes. actually, this is very applicable to msa izuku himself, and so many characters i write, actually. this is an icnredibly funny ask and i love the phrases you use  and i would not be surprised if i subconsciously absorb this phrase and accidentally use it in the future. thank you for this

Anonymous said: question: if msa izuku and kirishima were in a dangerous situation and izuku almost got hurt very badly/died but he managed to escape. BUT kirishima didnt see him escape and didnt know he was okay. how would kirishima react

in typical kirishima fashion he would be very worried about izuku and would probably try to figure out a way to rescue him

Anonymous said: im ppl have been talkig abt izu's guardian spirit lately, but wht abt allm's? i like to imagine that when shimura died, she became toshi's guardian spirit

shes not allm’s guardian spirit but shes Around

Anonymous said: ok but the part where msa izuku says release it rly reminded me of cardcaptor sakura just sayin

never watched cardcaptor sakura but thats p cool 

Anonymous said: I'd like to think if MSA. Izu/ku got hit with a quirk erasing bullet it wouldn't kill him, just like knock him out for a good day or so until he wakes back up through spite and the universe just hating him and being like "man thanks for the nap gun guys gotta get me one of those"

Anonymous said: I had a dream that msa!izu/ku was standing in his cell and staring at a nearby guard and the guard is wondering wtf why is he staring like that but actually he was just really tired and fell asleep. Standing up. W/eyes open.

HEY THIS IS INCREDIBLE AND INCREDIBLY FUNNY AND IF SOMEONE WROTE A SNIPPET WITH IZUKU DOING THIS I WOULD ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE IT

Anonymous said: I'm sorry but I have to tell you “Would you like to sit?” “No.” is the funniest interaction I have ever experienced in my life I woke up my grandmother at 3 am cause I was laughing so hard and she's doesn't even live on the same floor as me

im so glad that izuku being a bullheaded and troubled teenager can bring some amusement and laughter to your day

Anonymous said: i guess you could say that in the lastest chapter, msa izuku is kicking ass... /and taking names/ BA DUM TSHHHHHHH

HGJDFKJSDLGSDF IM LAUGHING!!!! STOP THIS

Anonymous said: In the MSA verse when someone doesn't like their quirk for example like your OC Mitoki and they don't use their quirk how does that affect their spirit?

doesn’t really affect their spirit except like, psychologically or emotionally, because they would Like for their charge to be able to use their powers in order to defend themselves, but their charge Is Not

Anonymous said: What would Mitoki think of MSA Izuku?

msa izuku: says Anything msa izuku: pulls Those Stunts msa izuku: does stuff of gray legality without bothering to explain himself, ever msa izuku: also is grudgingly a good person mitoki: this guy is hilarious and a fucking RIOT, i have to adopt him immediately

Anonymous said: i imagine after hearing the music of the universe msa izuku doesn't like human music anymore, huh?

i think he isn’t very fond of any music that reminds him of that experience, and how he nearly lost sight of his sense of self. normal, mundane music with absolutely nothing out of the ordinary is probably a relief

Anonymous said: Just wanted to drop in and say that I really love MSA!!! It's a super refreshing read, and I LOVE how you write everyone. I'm so hooked, you have no idea. Thank you so much for all the work you put into it!!

thank you for dropping in and letting me know!! i love feedback like this, makes me happy to keep writing and sharing stuff. i hope you enjoy the next chapter!

Anonymous said: someone: *gives izuku positive attention* izuku: you come into MY HOUSE

yeah that’s pretty much exactly it

Anonymous said: This might be a little weird and specific, but how would MSA Izuku react to someone who does similar stuff to him? Meaning, constantly does weird eldritch shit while sassing away any attempts to figure it out. And also assuming that they keep crossing paths no matter how either party feels about it.

probably kind of uncomfortable, but if this person is reacting to said eldritch stuff the way msa izuku reacts to spirit stuff, i think he’d just recognize this person as someone else who’s going through a lot of stuff and just wants to be left alone, and then msa izuku would proceed to leave them alone. maybe quietly give them a coffee if they look like they need it, then leave.

if this person was enjoying eldritch stuff, i think msa izuku would be kind of envious of them, and resentful, because hey, this person gets a way better deal than me in terms of eldritch mysteries, why do i get stuck with all the bad stuff? 

either way i don’t think msa izuku would spend a lot of time with them, he has a lot of his own stuff to deal with.

Anonymous said: Holy hell. Did Izuku, like, frickin ABSORB afo or some shit??

Anonymous said: Did izu/ku discover afo's spirit's name? And then proceed to destroy afo

Anonymous said: If I was Aizawa, or any other clever member of the hero crew, my assumption would probably be that Izuku is the product of a quirk that makes physical manifestations of other people's quirks. The person with said quirk probably used it on themselves, thus Izuku. It would reasonably explain why he's so dodgy about his identity, can fix/alter quirks, talks strangely to nothing, and is so effected by the eraser quirk. (It's fun manufacturing wrong but reasonable theories!)

oh thats a really interesting theory!! hmm yeah... it could work, but if i was aizawa i would wonder why izuku didn’t just disappear if he was just a temporary manifestation of a quirk. i’ll deffo consider this though and if it proves useful to the story i hope you won’t mind if i use it? 

thank you for writing in!

Anonymous said: Goodness, I love your work. A part of me silently lives for the day when MSA!Izu and All Might spend time together and AM's just?? Immune to all of Izu's snark, while still being such a dad. Like "Deku my boy, where's the hoodie I gave you? It's getting cold out."/"Based on the trajectory of the moon and sun, in a garbage bin somewhere."/"Oh! Well it *was* my old highschool hoodie. It was probably getting too old to wear anyway"/*Cue frustrated-mortified screams of the little cryptid child*

frankly i don’t think msa izuku would be able to handle someone knowing About Him and genuinely looking after him at the same time, he’s only ever had one or the other at a time, if all might did this msa izuku would short circuit and have a minor crisis because he doesn’t know how to accept affection from someone who accepts him for who he is. this thought hurts me and i regret thinking about this. really good ask, thanks for sending it in

Anonymous said: Your fic ‘know what i’ve made by the marks on my hands’ is a power move in of itself.

fndlfksldkf THANKS, im putting this in my testimonials

Anonymous said: Ever since the beggining of MSA I can't get rid of a certain though. Bakugou's Quirk something horibly adorable and comepletely enamored with Izuku. Like, the moment it sees him, it just jumps at him with hugs and kisses, possibly some purrs. Izuku avoiding the duo because he's so done and tired of the vilent love and explosive heatred mixture.

izuku hates it because both of them are giving him some form of attention and he just wants them to forget about him and be done with it

Anonymous said: Idk whether this was asked but how do names come across in the second intonation?? Like if izuku was saying senshajou (?) would the name come out in japanese or does the second intonation have a way of saying names without actually saying them? Basically would listening in on their conversation reveal a bunch of static and then just "carwash" in the middle of the sentence??

intonations aren’t a new language, just a manner of speaking, where the fourth intonation takes the most energy and the first intonation (normal speech) takes the least. effectively, izuku and all the spirits are speaking japanese, but the intonation they speak in will take their words to a different energy level. if that makes sense. so, no, ‘carwash’ would not show up in the middle of a sentence

Anonymous said: SIMK IM CHOKING!!!!!! YOUR ART LEFT ME SPEECHLESS ITS SO GOOOOD!!!!

thank you so much!!! this is very flattering, and makes me very happy as well

Anonymous said: Hey have you ever played OFF?? Idk the first pic you drew for MSA rly reminds me of it

i have not! but i love the art i’ve seen for it

Anonymous said: so are the guardian spirits in msa bound to their humans in a distance sense? like can they just wander off to somewhere far away from their human or would they hit a boundary somewhere?

yes, spirits are basically bound by proximity! they can leave their charges behind and go gallivanting to another continent but it’s Not A Good Idea for a few reasons and becomes very unpractical. they can travel pretty far from their charges if the necessity arises, though.

Anonymous said: there is a lot of things i could say about your my spirit academia art but the first thing that i thought of was "wow izuku looks good with nail polish"

fjdlkfjsldf

everyone looks great with nail polish!

Anonymous said: msa!izuku's flirting: you're slightly less terrible than everything else happening in this situation right now

izuku says this stiffly and without looking at the other person because expressing emotion and vulnerability is difficult for him

Anonymous said: Honestly msa!izuku is the most relatable au Izuku. I too wish I could just fade from everyone’s collective knowledge and become the local ghost story middle schoolers dare each other to test. *izuku gets ding-dong-ditched but only because local children are too terrified to stay to see the beast that lives in that apartment*

Wait what does Izuku do for halloween anyways?

i accidentally deleted the second half of your question so that’s just a paraphrase sorry!! but yeah, i’ve infused msa izuku with some of my more cryptid-longing tendencies, i find it hilarious that this has carried through. i love the proposed scenario. it’s incredibly funny and absolutely something that would happen to izuku 

i dont think halloween is very widely celebrated in japan? but if it was, izuku would probably just shut himself in his room for the night because he doesn’t want to deal with any aspect of the holiday

Anonymous said: heya!! i just read your msa fic and i absolutely adore it! the whole idea is just awesome in the every sense of the word and ive found myself already completely immersed in it! your writing of izu/ku is very relatable for me and it only makes me love the fic more?? ahh im just head over heels for it!!!!

ahhh im really glad to hear that!!! i hope you continue to enjoy future chapters, as we explore more of izuku’s character, and possibly, his past :^)

Anonymous said: u have probs already gotten this question before, but was msa izuku (or his soul) merged with his guardian spirit at birth? Cause izuku basically says that something went terribly wrong at his birth... so I'm thinking he somehow merged with his spirit????

something like that! there was spirit fuckery involved.

Anonymous said: I cant help but think prototype!izu/ku's hair would match msa izu/ku v well

im laughing because ive actually drawn msa izuku with a hairstyle DISTRESSINGLY similar to prototype izuku’s hair. msa izuku has got that unhappy, emo vibe about him that just naturally attracts the kinds of vibes that prototype izuku’s hair gives off

Anonymous said: is izu/ku's guardian spirit like nessie or bigfoot or something? cause i swear to fuck he's such a cryptid omg

HRNGLDFLKSDF IM LAUGHING

nah, izuku doesn’t have a guardian spirit. only... himself

Anonymous said: Did All Might give Mirio One For All in MSA?

no idea, haven’t thought about it, won’t figure it out until i actually need to address it

Anonymous said: I just wanna say that I love msa and kirishima is trying

kirishima *is* trying and we are all loving and supporting him for the amazing work he does

Anonymous said: Say, would Shinsou’s quirk work on MSA!Izuku?

you will find that out in, sports festival msa au, wherein msa izuku accidentally takes his canon counterpart’s place right after he’s finished the obstacle course event in the sports festival. i need to get through the end of the sports festival before im satisfied with publishing it... but i’ve finished the shinsou fight. so! you’ll see :p

Anonymous said: Hey I sent you an ask a while ago but idk if you saw it or not, but I just wanted to say that I really liked your latest chapter of msa! The music that you described in the chapter was really amazing and it made me think of this song called “the heaven’s flock” sang by the Texas all state choir. Obviously it won’t be anything close to the ethereal other-worldly music that you describe in the chapter, but it’s what came to mind while I was reading it. You can find it on YouTube, hope you like it!

hey im super glad!! i spent a lot of time editing those paragraphs for Maximum Spiritness, it’s always gratifying to know someone enjoyed them. and yes, i checked out the song on youtube, and it’s pretty cool! choral pieces usually don’t interest me a lot but this one was fun. thanks for telling me about it!

Anonymous said: i just found your ff and I love them! Tired(tm) Midoriya is great and I love him.

thank you!! izuku who is tired of this bullshit and calls it out when he sees it is definitely very fun. 

Anonymous said: where is msa!izuku's physique in comparison to the cannon timeline? is he closer to how he was at the very start of series, or while he was training with All Might before he got One for All?

he’s pretty lean and wiry with plenty of stamina, so i’d say he’s about on par with canon izuku after training with all might pre-yuuei. he probably doesn’t have as much raw strength but i think he has more stamina

Anonymous said: Msa izu/ku escapes from the Precepts' clutches and starts booking it around the tunnels and just. Stumbles upon Eri. Stops and takes the time to fuckin wrangle her spirit to stop it from unexisting him and just books it with her "I'm taking her now bye"

this is hilariously close

Anonymous said: you used a lyric from meet me in the woods for the 4th chapter of msa and god thinking about it that song fits the au?? at least as much as i've seen about it.

thank you!! and yeah, i’ve actually got that song on my msa playlist. specifically, my msa kiri/deku playlist, because it fits so well. [sips that heart hurting juice] im happy someone caught the reference!

Anonymous said: just read the quote from Morrison 'she utilised violence in a purely feminine way' by chucking hot pokers at people and all I can think of is msa!izu/ku being so done with everything and being violent 'in a purely deadpan way', chucking his collection of spray paint cans/ art supplies/ occasional chair at the spirits because he's just so done and LET HIM SLEEP OR AT LEAST TURN UP WITH COFFEE GODDAMIT.

you are not, wrong 

thats what his scripts are for!

Anonymous said: Msa! Izu/ku's laugh sounding like a dead rustling/ raspy monotone that is simultaneously eerie and extremely concerning to the point you want to wrap him in marshmallows.

msa izuku’s laugh sounds very, very tired, which is arguably the same thing

@iamlikecain​ said: Hi ! I juste wanted to say that I love your fic My spirit academia and sassy Izuku is what I now live for. Btw, he doesn’t deserve to suffer omg that poor baby and uuugg I hope he’ll be happy ;—-;

haha thank you!! i’m glad you like msa izuku’s shenanigans!! and yeah. he really doesn’t deserve any of this. things will, hopefully, look up for him soon! i am not setting out to write a pessimistic story, eventually things will get better

Anonymous said: Your my hero academia spirit AU is super frigging interesting??? Im dying to read more :DDD

thank you! im super glad you enjoyed it

Anonymous said: What are your favorite msu!izuku headcannons?

just the fact of him existing in this unrestrained, unintentionally chaotic state of being wherein he does what he needs to and may even do what you want him to, but in a way that makes him and you and everyone else involved feel like you’re all just a bunch of clowns. heres a couple more facts about him though

his goal in life is to become a famous reclusive calligrapher who has retired to the isolated countryside to do calligraphy, where no one can bother him

secretly still really passionate about heroics but kind of embarrassed about it so if you find out or bring it up he WILL try to kill you

messy and not very good at cooking, but doing his best

knows some kind of weird trivia that you wouldn’t really expect

Anonymous said: b r u h what would inko's quirk spirit creature look like?? soft and playful and curious about all sorts of smol trinkets/objects??? would they be combative w izuku too??? ;-; or reach some sort of grudging acceptance of their presence??? smol green abomination belongs to my beloved human, so no fighting little abomination

honestly i haven’t given a lot of thought to inko’s guardian spirit, other than that it’s probably pretty small and not one of the most powerful spirits out there. it’s kind of distant from izuku, bc izuku makes it uneasy, but it cares about izuku in its own way. 

[strawberryspeachy]

So. I orders clothes off this app where people resell the clothes they dont want. (And stuff)

I bought my tv from there and a skirt at the exact same time as the oufit im waiting on (from a different seller)

My name and address becomes available to ppl once i order from them

Both other ppl sent it to my real name

Sometimes my aparement building doesnt come up on google. Both sellers this time said they had an issue

So i sent them the number of the house next door which sometimes works and i told them that

So it was #building name #room number

#street address - 3 numbers (first two the same, the third 24 instead of 27)

City, municipality, zip

The other seller saif it corrected itself for her and clarified the correct number

The second one was like GOT IT but didnt reiterate

But because she said the same exact thing as the other i figured it was fine

The others package got here in two days

I waited 5 for the other and asked for the tracking number

She doesnt have it and said shell ask for it after the holiday

She asked if my address was correct then sent me THE MOST BS THING I HAVE EVER

So. She took out my building name....then added my room number onto the end of the WRONG street address

ANDDDD she used my ACCOUNT NAME instesd of my real FuCKinG NAME ——- she didnt tell me that till today after i went to the post office

She sent me a message today saying she talked to the post office. They said they tried to mail it to me but i wasnt home so they left a paper to pick it up and only (screen name) could recieve it

K. So this is all in a japanese and my japanese is not good.

So even though she said that - i read it as “you can pick it up” not as “only (name) can pick it up”

So i went. I asked the staff about it and showed them out messages. Everything is written out there in japnese for them to understand

BUT HERE COMES THE JAPANESE PEOPLE REFUSE TO TRY AND HELP

i said a little and showed them the message she sent me today. Which had the name of the manager who was called and told about the situation by the seller

Then said. But theres been some mistakes.

And scrolled up to the address that she sent it to

So. I had to ask them to please read it. I showed it to them. They glanced at it. Then looked up and started asking me questions. I told them to read. She they just scrolled around and PRETENDED to read. Instesd of actually reading.

I didnt realize that it literally says (name) must pick it up. BUT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND THAT and my NAME WAS THERE IN THE CONVERSTION. CAUSE ITS ME

So they told me oh we cant look. We need the tracking number. What day it was sent. And where it was sent from

And as usual. The dude goes off on a tangent in jaapnese and im like

I cant understand. And offered him my phone to type in japanese to translate. He doesnt. They ALWAYS look at it like its a complicated confusing device theyve never seem ITS AN IPHONE. He goes in the back and gets a translater. And translates what i just said above.

K yeah no. I understood the simple shit.

Fuck dude. I cant stand having convos with japanese ppl where i respond to and understand their simple shit - then when they get complicated i say i cant understand. So they fucking translate the shit THAT I RESPONDED BACK TO THEM IN JAPANESE ABOUT OBVIOUSLY PROVING I UNDERSTOOD THAT PART

k so i message the seller

The post office is confused. They need blah blah

She then FINALLY CLARIFYS LIKE WHY DID YOU WAIT

oh i sent it by regular mail so there is no tracking. And I explained the situation to that manager (she just wrote the name in the last email - not that that manager understood the situation) and i sent it to your screen name

And then all the info that the post office asked for

UNFORTUNATELY. i got there late and the post office was closed before i got her response

But now im pissed at thr post office too. Cause like you fucking assholes can read and understand japanese. She wrote in a way i assume japnese people would understand - not needing to specify every individual thing for me - who can’t understand their vague speech.

AND the name of their MANAGER Was there. So of course they didnt go -hey. I know that person - lets ask her if she knows anything.

Nope. Just your regular run of the mill ‘im gonna tilt my head back and forth and laugh for 30 minutes’ cause god forbid they tell you what they have to say ONCE when youre confused and let you go try to figure it out CAUSE YOU MIGHT FIGURE IT OUT AND MAKE THEM DO THEIR JOB NOOOOOO so theyll just repeat the same thing like 20 times you use - following you every time you try to walk away. Stopping you from typing - and telling you to come over here. Come over there. Sit here. Stop there.

Welp thats not all. I live in a sharehouse. One of the housing ppl were here when i left. This house is a mess and the shoebox is a couple feet from the door despite us not being allowed to wear shoes in the house (and its really FUCKING DIRTY) and the shoe thing in japan is just tradition - its not cause they care about.... anything. Japanese people step into places with their shoes on and take their shoes off there all the time. Ppl looked at me weird and told me it was fine when i first moved here and took the shoe thing seriously

But. Pretty sure the housing hate me (cause i complain to have them fix the stuff THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO FIX AND DO - back to that japanese ppl hating to actually have to do their job instead of pretend work thing)

So of course. At the EXACT same time as i walked in the door - the housing dude was leaving and was in the lowered spot with the shoes

I should have just walked back outside and waited a few seconds. But i didnt. I walked in. Took the two steps in and changed my shoes.

He turned to watch me before continuing to put his shoes on and leave.

Thats the same dude who said nothing when he saw my housemates girlfriend here - but did walk over to his room to confirm he saw what he did. And then sent an email about it like a week later

So now im stressed that im gonna get in trouble for - doing something everyone in this house and out do

And im tired

And miserable

And why do i always manage have everything happen at THE EXACT WRONG MOMENT - why havent i ever experienced the exact RIGHT moment. Always the exact wrong one

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she��s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

[kxlebcross]

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

[britishb3atlemania]

ive been stressed tf out since last night bc my friend invited me to a new years eve party downtown and my ma would gaslight the shit outta me so i wouldnt b able to go (im super easily manipulated even as an adult and bc my younger brother has been a complete asshole to the whole fam recently i dont wanna ~add~ to that and theres just a bigger expectation for me to b perfect) but my dad talked to her and last min let me leave after dinner to catch a train downtown (40min away) but it was like... a lil late notice basically i spent midnight at the subway lmfao but thats whatever like i got the the party fine and friend was already sloshed

which was nice to see her have a good time and i started drinking but keeping in mind not to b too fucked just to make sure she ok bc i love her right

but she gets so disastrous (drunk and high on weed AND two bums of coke) and calls this shit white guy she had a crush on 3 yrs ago who ghosted her and she now HATES and basically drunkenly tries to convince him to let her come over to have sex

and like her friend (lets say Doug) and I are here hearing this and know she caNNOT go out is in NO condition to let alone go fuck someone atm bc its hella fukin yikes...

we keep pipping over the phone (she was on speaker) to this white dude named Asswipe that she is too intoxicated on a lot of stuff to go out, and this is a terrible idea and as the sober one on this he should give her a definite “no” so she can leave it be. 

He doesnt (bc men are scum lmaooo)

Basically makes me extra anxious for many reasons, from less to most important:

-My ma/grandparents are pissed at me for ditching new years for the first time and my abuelita has depression and when shes rlly upset will call me crying and manipulate me so i was terrified of that lmao

-I have terrible social anxiety and I begged fam to let me come to be with my best friend for a special night, even though its at her friend’s house with so many ppl i dont know. Also bc the plan was i was allowed to crash the night there with her but now shes trying to run away ALONE to this dudes house and leave me. And im selfish and felt rude and anxious to spend the night at a strangers house w/o her.

-I reminded her i came here for her and im anxious if she leaves and she just told me ~jokingly~ that she cant fuck me bc im taken and neither cant Doug bc he’s also taken so at least with Asswipe she can fuck someone. Which i think is like... a ginormous low but she was sloshed so i tried not to let that get me all upset

-I had a p similar experience of a ~friendly acquaintance~ taking advantage of me when i was drunk and it has fucked me up since and i told her abt this in confidence so she knows how bad that is and it was rlly getting to me thinking my friend could go through that tonight

-Additionally, if someone is so fucking intoxicated they CANNOT give consent in that state SORRY but idc how many times u say ur consenting “despite being high/drunk” if you keep stumbling over ur feet and about to vom all night and drop ur phone every 2 sec, etc, u ARE NOT in a condition to make such a heavy decision

She ends up tricking us and runs away ALONE to this guys house who I DO NOT KNOW the address of. Asswipe knows perfectly NO ONE approves of this, knows she is PLASTERED, and hes not, heard me say this is INCREDIBLY YIKES AND TAKING ADVTANGE OF SOMEONE

So 3 of us at the party rlly care for my friend and are super pissed/concerned/anxious, Doug, her friend who through the party, ie. Karla, and I. Doug has to go home, Karla and I take an uber with friends to a house party someone overheard her talking about going to. turns out she tricked them and didnt go there obvi

Karla has Asswipe on fb, messages him and demands him to call her an uber and send her home, even offering to pay it herself. He gave a bs answer of “idk if she wants to/// she’s fine”

My friend basically ignored all our calls/texts for 1.5 hrs, finally mssgs back Karla (bc even tho weve been friends forever i know and am self aware shes closer to Karla now and her uni friends which is an insecurity but i get it lol), then me. Mostly interacts with Karla but barely says much.

Wont call us when we ask, tells us not to blame Asswipe, thats shes fine, some happy new yr bs

Idk i was so worried and pissed and anxious so i just flat out told her that i love her but if she thinks she is sober enough to make that decision then she should be sober enough that it was a shitty move on her part to leave us like this when she knows we’re worried sick.

Hasnt replied to me since lmao. But she DID mssg back Karla in the morning to tell her shes fine. I leave Karla’s house early bc fam stuff, but she shows up later to pick up her stuff. I guess theyre fine now

But she hasnt replied to me all day, hasnt mssgd shit.

And i hate it bc i just hope she was fine (Karla says shes good) but i know my friend and she is more attached to her than me and it just kind of breaks my heart that they can make ammends but me who was worried sick and was with her the most to make sure she was ok and all the same jazz as Karla and Doug, she wont mssg me. I already caved and sent her a mssg asking if she was ok and she still hasnt replied and im just... not doing ok now lol i turned this into a selfish thing abt me but i am so worried for her and i just hate that im not allowed to be worried for her or be angry ever bc its like... any excuse for her to stop being my friend...

this was so long and if someone read it i love you ugh im just so... lost idk what to do. usually i apologize even when something is not my fault bc i dont want us to not b friends. But this fuked me up and i just sincerely hope it doesnt fuck her up wtvr the fuk went down with her and asswipe so i dont think its an ok situation to make myself into the one that is wrong... bc i dont think i am... but ugh idk second opinions gr8ly appreciated

[girlrry]

Anonymous said: genuinely god help me if i’m 40 and still care about what some 20 year olds say about me on tumblr or twitter

also the fact that i literally don’t care about there being 40yo ppl on here its just the creepy ones

Anonymous said: lmao one of narcissa followers went to your blog and told them your anon age shames older fans in the fandom and said you should do taxes and watch over children and its like that piss on the poor post where like they cant even comprehend what was said on the blog and nobody cares if your 40 and on this site or in the fandom its how you choose to engage in the fandom which most of these older harries spend time in petty drama or caring deeply about a 26 year old sex life which is…yikes

i saw lmao….. embarrassing 

Anonymous said: narcssiatramaine followers are taking bits of your blogs convo and then going to them saying your agesist and saying how you were discussing that women in their 30s need to cater to their husbands and be good housewives like?? are these people okay do they not know how to read

yeah i did not expect them to respond with anything even remotely logical since the only thing they took from my anons is that i’m ageist

Anonymous said: You just said it’s weird that older woman are OBSESSING over someones romantic/sexual life whos way younger than them and all of a sudden everyone acting like they were personally told they are old hags like damn take your insecurities back to school and learn how to read! IF YOU DON’T DO THAT, THEN IT WASN’T MEANT @ YOU

LITERALLY

me: old obsessive harries are creepy

the creepy harries: OKAY SO YOURE SAYING ANYONE OVER 30 SHOULD DIE AND YOU HATE US??

i  was only ever referring to the people everyone knows about i literally do not care what age you are as long as you’re respectful and not weird about it

Anonymous said: lmaoooo i cant with these 40 year olds coming into your inbox crying that a blog doesnt like them and also we were discussing gross 40 year old on this site and if you found offensive with that then maybe you just revaluate yourself

i blocked an anon that was camped out in my inbox going on and on about how i am young and stupid bc i called people out. they proceeded to say how they were not offended and they weren’t trying to insult me by calling me young and underdeveloped. like if you’re not bothered then why are you in my inbox??

Anonymous said: all offense to that anon but those older harries that were mentioned everyone knows who they are and most people find them annoying the fact that nobody has to specify them by name and yet everyone still knows who theyre talking about means it aint just one sided or something a blog came up with

right like i was talking about a very specific group of harries on here i wasn’t hating on every single 40 year old ever i don’t have problems with yall its just the people i mentioned specifically but they had to take that and twist it to discredit me calling them out

Anonymous said: dude where all these anons coming from and have they not been reading your messages like who the fuck is talking about 28 year olds on this site like its specifically people in their 40s on this site who are obsessed with harry’s sex life and are underlying homophobes but dont want to admit it

yeah apparently i think everyone here over 20 is old

Anonymous said: im just going to say it im 24 and i hope to god im not on this site past the age of 35 let alone 30 and going to blogs to yell about people in their 40s in a fandom even though aint nobody specifically talking about you just the type of behavior that is exhibited by some blogs

haven’t you heard that i hate anybody slightly older than me and i said they’re not allowed to like harry :-(

Anonymous said: some of these people are stoopid like honest to god. read it thoroughly digest the words then come up with a response not skim it over and pick few words then get mad

they don’t have enough time left in their life to completely read anything and formulate an opinion i guess. they just gotta read like three words, get offended, and send me hate anons

Anonymous said:why is there so much boomer behavior on this blog tonight ,,,, lit rally no one is saying that older woman cannot like younger musicians or whatever we r just saying it’s extremely weird when grown ass women sexualize Harry specifically when he was a teenager and obsess over his dating life. If it was a man doing this to a young female musician u would call it creepy and uncomfortable so why is it different for an older woman? also don’t say we r being ageist and then say we r stupid like girl,,

I KNOW like how are you gonna say you’re taking the high ground and then pull that shit eye-

Anonymous said: Full stop these anons need to go outside or get a hobby, half the asks they’re sending you don’t make any logical sense.

TRULY. like idc if you disagree with me and you want to voice that i think that’s fine but you have to come to me with a logical argument just sending an angry rant followed with an insult about how my brain is underdeveloped is just wasting my time tbh

Anonymous said: for people who are trying to insult you because you’re young and your brain is supposedly is underdeveloped these older harries sure lack reading comprehension

let us say a prayer for them. i guess we all have underdeveloped brains

Anonymous said: At least harry is 26. I’m also in the shawn side of tumblr & the amount of middle aged moms sexualizing him and writing smutty fanfics when he was UNDERAGE was 🤢 but it was always “fine & completely different because they would never actually act on it so it’s okay”. I’m so glad I wasn’t around back then with harry. Caroline was probably their queen

oh ew nasty. and yeah there’s people who still don’t think there was anything wrong with that (and we all know what age group they belong to)

Anonymous said:“You don’t get to 40 and suddenly love balding men” you’re saying this as if attractive men in their 40s don’t exist…

attractive men outside of harry actually do not exist

Anonymous said:some 40 year old is really coming into your inbox and making you feel bad about being young. like maam go to bed so you can take your kids to school tomorrow morning instead of worrying about what people say on tumblr. embarrassing

i don’t care if they have kids i just hope they have self respect this is genuinely embarrassing

Anonymous said:are these people okay like seriously are they okay

they have normally developed brains but apparently not

Anonymous said: Y'all being so rude on anon? Like I can tell op is super tired of your shit. So stop, take a sec and think “am I being a polite and caring person” before you send an ask. It’s significantly more wrong for a 50 year old to share sexual fantasies online about a 26 year old than it is for a 20 year old lmao. But neither are wrong entirely. In either case can we let this go now?

i don’t completely agree but i’m so tired of this subject i wanna Stop

[peachyhyvck]

…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…

tagged by @sunny-feeling-9 thanks babe (’:

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl…

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my brother called me and asked me to drop some stuff off at his friend’s house for him 3. Text message: I just pulled in! (to my mama) 4. Song you listened to: Young Dumb & Broke - Khalid

5. Time you cried: last night because I was watching a really sad youtube vid (Idk why???)

6. Dated someone twice: kinda? I mean we broke up for 3 hours then got back together... so idk if that counts or not.... 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: sadly, yeah //: 8. Been cheated on: nope (knock on wood......) 9. Lost someone special: my great grandma passed away when I was 9... that was fucking hard.... 10. Been depressed: when am I not 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah I don't drink 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: blue, black & grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yep! 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: pretty much every time I laugh 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah, my damn coworker !!! 19. Met someone who changed you: indeed (’: 20. Found out who your friends are: pretty much an ongoing thing for the past 3 years,,, 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: do my parents count ???

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them 23. Do you have any pets: I have a dog (a Boston Terrier) named Buddy!

24. Do you want to change your name: nah, i'm good. I like my name! 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: spent the day at softball practice and celebrated with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 12pm oops 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably scrolling through Tumblr and listening to music 28. Name something you can’t wait for: my anxiety to calm the fuck down and let me be at peace for like,, a second (’: 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: literally 10 mins ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: not being lazy/stop procrastinating 31. What are you listening right now: Summer 127 - NCT 127 !!!! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: omg yes and he’s the biggest fuckboy I've ever met.... 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: myself lmao 34. Most visited Website: tumblr and youtube 35. Elementary: finished 36. High School: gonna be a senior yo 37. College: jfc dont even talk about college to me rn 38. Haircolor: naturally dark brown but I've gotten blonde highlights and I think I'm gonna get more whoop whoop 39. Long or short hair: long (I look like an egg with short hair) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: does my bias count? 41. What do you like about yourself: my sense of humor, my ability to give good advice/make people feel better, and my caring/loving nature (’: 42. Piercings: my ears are pierced 43. Bloodtype: I'm actually not sure...?  44. Nickname: ali, al, aya, ayaboo, ayabee, aligal, aligirl, aligator, etc. 45. Relationship status: singleee 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: law & order: svu, king of queens, Chicago PD, golden girls, etc 49. Tattoos: none but I definitely want some in the future!

50. Right or left: right 51. Surgery: I got my tonsils and adenoids removed when I was in first grade 52. Piercing: didn't I just answer this ?? 53. Sport: softball/baseball 55. Vacation: South Korea or Italy 56. Pair of trainers: air jordans (I stole them from my brother lol)

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: W A T E R M E L O N !!!!!

58. Drinking: water, milk or apple snapple 59. I’m about to: try and get some of my damn requests done 61. Waiting for: me to stop stressing over every little thing in life and take a damn breath 62. Want: to be genuinely happy and stress-free 63. Get married: hopefully by mid to late twenties 64. Career: as of now I'm a hostess, but my dream job is to be a behavioral analyst (criminal profiler) for the FBI !!!

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: I'm a sucker for skinship so why not both (’: 66. Lips or eyes: well, I love a pretty smile, but if your eyes draw me in, I'm done for... so imma go with eyes 67. Shorter or taller: probs taller 68. Older or younger: hmmm older? tbh I don't really care about age. If I like ya, I like ya 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: honestly I could care less. I look at personality rather than appearance 71. Sensitive or loud: I'm gonna say both 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship, hands down 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: urrrr both, again?

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: Ive had champagne, but not hard liquor 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yeah... 77. Turned someone down: yeah... a few different times.... and it makes me feel so bad omg 78. Sex in the first date: woah no thank you 79. Broken someones heart: I sure hope not ?? 80. Had your heart broken: at the time I thought so... but no lmao 81. Been arrested: no, thank god 82. Cried when someone died: yeah )’: 83. Fallen for a friend: yes... AND I STRONGLY ADVISE AGAINST IT !!!!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: at times.... but it’s a work in progress 85. Miracles: yeah, sure? 86. Love at first sight: ehh no 87. Santa Claus: ho ho no see what I did there (; 88. Kiss in the first date: sure, go ahead and lay one on me 89. Angels: very much so, yes (’:

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Aubrey and Adriana

91. Eyecolor: get ready... they’re mostly green, a little brown, with a grey rim on the outside, and on some days theres even a little bit of yellow in there, as well !!! 92. Favorite movie: oh god I have too many... if I had to pick one, probably Bad Boys 2 YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT IT’S SO DAMN FUNNY 

I’m tagging: @houseofvmin @rook-10 @jae-yoonie @mystic-astro-trash @b00mingsystem @chittaporno @thereisnofuckingreason @secretlymadeoutofcups @nctreacting @markhyuck-is-real-af @smoltaek

if you've already done this, or just don't want to, then ignore this and sorry for bothering you !!!

[da1udr3amof-blog]

BlvntQueen & LadyTonii LadyTonii Hey wassup? a month ago LadyTonii https://prnt.sc/lcyehe me and him yes while you was send the first invite — a month ago LadyTonii number and picture don’t lie ppl do a month ago BlvntQueen well i know tht because yall have alot of pictures together but like i said it was him lien saying yall wasnt together and tht yur unborn babys was nott his and i have proof if you would like to see a month ago LadyTonii yes please send it because a month ago BlvntQueen Okay give me one sec hun cause it’s a lot a month ago LadyTonii tyt a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/4K8QFTuiU7f8LkVu7 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/MyM7Z4oahJXaf8RW9 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/WzXiAuegZzaJpfVV6 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/J3CPFenKoa4KwNLT8 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/LGHi7y8MoGvyQ3B99 a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/8VfXEuhGUPYsNKxXA a month ago BlvntQueen https://photos.app.goo.gl/SJWStrcTcDVoWFgu8 a month ago BlvntQueen Even back when you guys started talking he kept denying that you weren’t together which I knew was a lie a month ago BlvntQueen While you guys where together he was still trying to get with buying whole bunch of gifts saying he wanted to be my husband and wanted a Familia a month ago BlvntQueen Every time I basically shut him down cause I could see y’all had something going down even when he kept denying it a month ago BlvntQueen I contacted on no drama stuff I just wanted to see if I was or was he lien a month ago BlvntQueen Wrong * a month ago BlvntQueen Nd sorri for some of the stuff said in the inbox I was tryna get him to say the truth a month ago BlvntQueen Even tht whole knew look to his face I helped him pick it out while we we’re shopping together a month ago BlvntQueen He even has another look I helped him pick out just doesn’t wear it often a month ago BlvntQueen He was hanging with me in my family one day got mad cause I asked to meet you plus when I asked kept calling you his wifey he kept getting up set saying you wasn’t in wifey a month ago BlvntQueen Got booted out the room cause he was losing his temper a month ago LadyTonii Its okay thank you for contacting me and letting me know because this says a lot about his intention with all women on the game. And for him to try n start a relationship with you while still me tell me just hm he care for me. a month ago BlvntQueen I’m really sorry ma I been friends with him for bout 6-7 months Already knew his games Nd how he treated women Thts why things would never work between us cause I don’t like being played a month ago BlvntQueen Also the same reason I contacted yu just let yu Know plus to get the truth a month ago BlvntQueen But I am truly sorry 💯 a month ago LadyTonii This hurt so bad especially when u genuine love someone. So why know why tell me this now. Why have not warn me in the beginning? Why wait? @ 6-7 months ago. Why allow him to keep you quiet this long a month ago LadyTonii No worries, God bring the truth to the light for a reason a month ago LadyTonii I just wish it come sooner. a month ago BlvntQueen Well me in Darius was really friends cause I used to be married when I got divorced he had been tryna to get with me I met his family in everything we where public for a while but he flirted with to many women so I ended things and just stayed friends with him   He’s was always around he just turned his location off or waited for ppl to get online while we hung out he thought I didn’t notice💯 Nd the reason I’m telling you now cause I didn’t know for sure if y’all were together cause it seemed like y’all was off and on in a relationship a month ago BlvntQueen Plus he asked to go public a lot of times I just said no cause I knew he was a player and didn’t want him to make me look like I was getting played a month ago LadyTonii You speak a familiar story…i can most certain relate to the same things you exactly. a month ago LadyTonii Saying* a month ago BlvntQueen Soo yeah… but I am sorry for bothering you with this bs a month ago LadyTonii Its okay at lease now ik his truth and yes i was pregnant with his twins boys. It like a emotions roaster. We talk via phone. Almost all day until out the blue so now ik what was the blue he started changing on me a month ago BlvntQueen Oh wow its sad 💯 I’m sorry fr💯 he needs to grow up and act like a man a month ago LadyTonii So true👍 a month ago LadyTonii Oh Qu33n I forgot to tell you love😏 I neverrr….leave Darius alone….But thank for the ☕ anyway (you tired it). They always want to start telling when they get upset. But when they happy….They are so call  "Riders"….✌ next time tell me something I dont already know about 💋Darius💋 a month ago LadyTonii Follow me on tumblr da1udream0f a month ago LadyTonii http://da1udream0f.tumblr.com/ a month ago LadyTonii https://prnt.sc/lodeqo 44 minutes ago BlvntQueen Good for you Psycho 40 minutes ago BlvntQueen Sad thing is you texting me all these things when he still not claiming the baby’s your pregnant with 37 minutes ago BlvntQueen And unlike you I’m pregnant in real life and don’t have time to be dealing with your dumb drama 37 minutes ago LadyTonii https://prnt.sc/lodn9k —-> Yes daddy like to deny a lot things but we already been down this road before haven’t we. You have time for it “stop it” :)  Congratulations on the new baby in rl however “you tell me this because”?  #we a team sis except it :) 13 minutes ago BlvntQueen He’s right we aren’t together but he wants to get back together 😘 yeah we have been down this road before and me and him has a unbreakable bond 😉😬 I’m here to stay and I don’t have time for  it so please stop harassing me cause this is sad you have been stalking my page steady 😂😂😂😂 I don’t have to fake a reality pregnancy I have a real life one and is enjoying it to the fullest 😘 and I would like to keep my stress level down as much as possible so Please let go cause of now your dismissed with all this petty drama especially when your a wanna be and had to copy my style before just to try to keep a man that doesn’t want you😂😘😬☺️ 8 minutes ago LadyTonii yeah right, and santa clause is real ==> sound like a strong bond to me lol —https://prnt.sc/lodrj3> https://prnt.sc/lodrzf https://prnt.sc/lodsrq https://prnt.sc/lodt7j https://prnt.sc/lodup5 https://prnt.sc/lodvf3 It wasnt petty when “yo ass” was in my inbox and liking all my picture (now was it?) sending me friend request like you was crazy Worrying about my conception date. hmmmm Now you telling me you’ve grown up over the few weeks… I have not ill-wells towards you and never will 💋 a few seconds ago BlvntQueen https://prnt.sc/loe7o3 https://prnt.sc/loe7yk https://prnt.sc/loe89x Back Than Honey I was just trying to find the truth to see was he messing around with because he said he wasn’t and that you weren’t shit to him when I came to You adding you trying to find the truth which nothing is wrong with that if a women is trying to see if Her “MAN” is cheating on her with a wannabe chick who keeps stalking my page😂💯 me and you aren’t even friends and I’m not even on you stream so i know you have issues and that you are pressed about me cause you had to text him about a picture we took last night a few seconds ago BlvntQueen How pathetic of you to keep stalking my page bbg💯😂 a few seconds ago BlvntQueen You Should really Get a life and stop following mine cause once again you messaged me tonight and messaged him last night about me showing that you have no life what’s so ever 😂💯😘💋 a few seconds ago LadyTonii You always been a talker…i love that about you…💋 fail for the bait score!!!!that all but we still going to fuck around regardless. Damn see your bond is so deep he just know you were pregnant😊 shame on it all. a few seconds ago LadyTonii Girl wake up he don’t give af about none of this imvu lol a few seconds ago BlvntQueen Mhmm Sure Bbg Well You Have Fun Stalking My Stream And Page 😂💯❤️ While I Continue Not Worrying About You Like I Been Doing😂😌 😘 Fuck Around All You Want Cause Unlike You I Never Had To Give My Pussy Up To Him For Me And Him To Keep Talking💋😉 Says A lot About You Does it hunni😂😘😬 Your right it is imvu and you stalking me like you got some real issues😂💯 sad asf 😉😌😆 27 minutes ago BlvntQueen And he didn’t know I was pregnant in real life  one cause it wasn’t his business two cause I don’t mix a game with my real life😂💯😘 but trust and believe I can post evidence cause I don’t have to lie💯❤️ 25 minutes ago LadyTonii Im grown lol i can dirty talk to who i may. The lord aint tell you to keep track of hm pussy toni give to Darius...just like you wanted to know what was going on before, same here. I dont have do anything I choice too. Its my choice. Thats good for you at lease ik he not fucking you.😂 Your shade doesnt fade me. Once again I dont stalk your page. Girl, you care just like I do because if you didnt you wouldve blocked the first message in. I dont front or act like it dont bother me. I just came to accepting him for who he was nothing more. 5 minutes ago LadyTonii Now let that man sleep he has to work in the morning..you have a bless night love💋 3 minutes ago BlvntQueen No You We’re Very Bothered just Of The Fact That in screen shot you told him to leave you alone cause of a picture😂💯👌🏽😬 And I chose not to fuck him cause I ain’t no hoe and I don’t got to give up pussy just to be with a guy😂💯 Niggas chase me bbg cause I’m the real deal and don’t  have to try to be some one else😂👌🏽 and you do stalk my page for you to even see the picture that was posted 😂💯 how do yu sound bbg  and I don’t care what he do with you cause once again me and him not together 👌🏽 and I shouldn’t have to block you 👌🏽a hoe should know when to leave a queen alone😘👌🏽😬 and you so grown bbg that you steady inboxing me just like you had to inbox me a picture of y’all 😂💯😬 Damn you really are a pressed bitch😌  you  even messed me on nov 1 at 6am just to show a page of y’all cause You So Pressed About Me That You Want Me To be jealous 😬😆 but it’s hard to be jealous of a psycho. Person who stalks my page and what I posted  and try’s to look like just like me😂 Now You Have ABlessDay a few seconds ago BlvntQueen And I Will pray to god that you get your self together and get the help you need😂🙏🏽😘 a few seconds ago LadyTonii Right you know me personally a few seconds ago LadyTonii Why you keep on saying fuck him like theres really penetrating flesh. Im start to think something is serious wrong with the both of yall. And for you to act this way ik you lying about pc'ing with him. imma let you jack that one there. You don't have to pray for me. I'm blessed. I'm the one in denial. I know he fucking with the both of us. a few seconds ago