#i don't want your pity. your sympathy. i want to feel like what i told you fucking STUCK

[ghostsessioned]

found myself talking to my wife about curly and anya's strained friendship and found myself having the Most emotionally fueled word - vomit i think i've ever had since my dad passed.

[mangosrar]

let the light in.

matt sturniolo x fem reader.

an: i lowk hate this 🤓 also not proof read and the ending is ass.

warnings: none really just sad matt but it’s a happy ending 🤍

matt was prone to shutting you out due to his mental health. he had done it multiple times before, usually you gave him a few days to cool off and things went back to normal, but this time it was different. your boyfriend had blew up on you about a week ago and told you to leave him the fuck alone. so following normal procedure, you left his house and didn't bother him until 2 days later. under normal circumstances he would invite you over, talk it out with you and things would go back to normal but this time wasn't like that. you had reached out to him multiple times with no response, you even spoke to his brothers who told you they didn't know what to do. they advise you just let him figure it out, but you couldn't just sit around while matt was suffering, so you went over to his place, upon nicks request after agreeing with you.

"hey y/n" Chris said as he engulfed you in a hug after letting you in the house. you hugged him back and made your way upstairs to be greeted with nick.

"im so glad you're here, he hasn't came out of his room in like 3 days, he hasn't eaten or talked to either of us" he hugged you.

"Jesus, i mean i can try and get through to him but i don't know how much help ill be" you frowned.

"its worth a shot" Chris said before you sighed and made your way to matts bedroom door.

you took a deep breath and closed your eyes before knocking.

"hey matt, its me. can i come in?" no reply.

you looked over to Chris and nick, watching you from the living room and they motioned for you to walk in with their hands. you nodded before opening the door and going in.

his room was a mess, laundry all over the floor, his desk covered in paperwork that hadn't been done and his dresser looked like it had seen better days.

matt lay in bed, wrapped in his sheets with his back to you. you started walking round his bed towards him before he spoke, stopping you in your tracks.

"i don't want to hear it y/n. i don't want you here so leave" his voice sounded raspy and tired. you couldn't help but feel a sting from his words. usually matt never wanted to be away from you, hell, he would attach himself to you if he could.

"matt come on, lets just talk" you didn't move from your standing position at the end of his bed. matt let out a heavy sigh before aggressively throwing the covers off of himself and standing up and walking towards you.

"talk about what? how you fucking pity me huh? how im being selfish and im hurting people around me? no, fuck you and your fucking sympathy i don't want it" his voice was raised and he was slightly leaning down, yelling in your face. his eyes were drooped and the bags under them were deep and dark, his face looked sunken in and pale. you were taken back by his words. never once had your boyfriend spoken to you like this.

you opened your mouth to speak but before you could even get a word in, he barged past you, flinging his bedroom door open before making his way into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it shut. you took a moment to take a deep breath, looking down at your feet, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill. after re-collecting yourself you made your way to his bathroom door trying to open it.

"matt open the door please" silence.

"matt open the fucking door" no reply.

"matt open the fucking door or i swear to god im going to walk out of this house and were over. you cannot keep doing this to me" nothing but the snap of the door unlocking was heard. you immediately walked in to find matt on the floor, slumped against the cabinet, elbows resting on his bent knees, with his head in his hands. you closed the door and sat down next to him on the floor.

"oh matt" you whispered as the tears started to roll down your face too. every ounce of anger that had occurred in you from him walking away, had dispersed instantly. you placed a small hand on the back of his head and gently pulled him to lean on you. he immediately wrapped his arms around your middle and put all of his weight on you, so terrified that you would disappear if he didn't hold you close enough.

"im sorry. i don't know what's wrong with me y/n, i cant make it stop" his voice was broken and slightly muffled.

"you don't need to be sorry matt because there's nothing wrong with you, nothing at all. you just have to talk to us" you pursed your lips together and looked up to the ceiling, while running your hand over his hair soothingly, desperately trying to stop the tears that were cascading down your cheeks.

"i cant because i-... i don't want to scare you away and i don't want to have to burden you with all this shit, you don't deserve that. this is my problem and i have to deal with it myself" he cried harder than before, tightening his grip around you. you immediately put your hands on both sides of his face, pulling his head up so he was eye level with you.

"don't ever say that, you're not going to scare me away. i love you and you're not a burden honey, i promise, you're my life line matt. you don't deserve this either okay? no one does, but its better to deal with it together than alone, this is what im here for, you're supposed to lean on me when you cant handle it. always okay?" at this point you were both full on sobbing. you couldn't understand how he could ever think that, he was your everything. every sun and moon you saw belonged to him. every single living breath you took was his. every single story you ever told had him disguised in it somehow. there was not a single day that passed that wasn't all about him.

"okay" his voice was quiet as he nodded. you followed his movements and nodded with him, searching his eyes for any sort of doubt in your words, you found nothing.

"i love you" he rested his forehead on yours as you spoke, breathing deeply, trying to silence his cries.

"i love you too, always".

taglist: @christinarowie332 @urmyslxt @azkabanstar @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @biimpanicking @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @flowerxbunnie @sssturniolofart @freshlovehacker

[libby-for-life]

So, can you do a sick one-shot with Adam and Lucifer? Maybe Adam has a fever and Lucifer reluctantly takes care of him. But then he starts to hallucinate things. Stuff that makes Lucifer question things about what he believes.

Oh? A challenge, hu? Since you didn't specify if this was my version of Adamsapple, I'm just going to assume that this is more traditional Adamsapple and go from there.

Sinner!Adam under contract with Lucifer.

Lucifer stood before Charlie with a sigh, feeling irritated. "Are you telling me that there isn't anyone else who can take care of him? I don't have time to deal with a whiney brat who is probably faking all this just to get attention," he grumbled. The devil was not convinced that Adam was genuinely sick. He wouldn't put it past him to fake it to receive special treatment.

Charlie replied, "Normally, I would take care of it, but I have a lot of paperwork to deal with." She gestured towards her desk, which was piled high with papers, making Lucifer wince. "Vaggie is busy with Niffty, Angel Dust and Husk are working, and Alastor is not an... option."

Lucifer shivered at the thought of Alastor taking care of Adam. The devil was under contract to protect the idiot from harm, but it would end badly for Adam if Alastor was involved. "Alright, I'll do it," he said, resigned.

"Thank you, Dad!" Charlie beamed at him, making him feel a little better. Teleporting to Adam's room, Lucifer hoped to catch him in the act of faking it but found himself in a dark room with the curtains drawn. The only thing he could see was a lump on Adam's bed.

Frustrated, the devil snapped his fingers, and the lights turned on. Adam let out a whimper, making Lucifer roll his eyes. "Oh, stop it. Nobody is buying this pity act," he said sternly.

When he got no reply, he growled again, "The hard way it is then." He stomped over to the sinner's bed and ripped the blankets off him. "Get up now!" Lucifer was done playing games. If Adam was going to continue acting this way, he didn't mind using force to beat some sense into him.

However, to his surprise, Adam didn't yell, swear, or even glare at him. Instead, he let out another whimper. This time, Lucifer actually looked at Adam and saw just how different he looked. His gray skin had an ashy color, his breath was labored, and his shirt was missing, revealing how sweaty he was. It was clear that Adam was genuinely sick.

Lucifer felt slightly guilty for making Adam uncomfortable when it was clear he was miserable with a fever.

Placing a hand on the sinner's forehead, he hissed at the heat. "Oh, you are sick, aren't you?" He murmured. "Alright, let's sit you up."

Soon, Adam was propped up on pillows, wrapped up in comfortable blankets, and looking at Lucifer with dazed eyes. The devil knew that the demon wasn't truly seeing him due to his sickness.

Gently draping a cool cloth onto Adam's forehead, he noticed how the sinner's eyes followed his every move.

"You're so beautiful...." Adam slurred.

Lucifer froze and looked at him confused. "Hu?" He must've been really out of it if he was complimenting him.

"Beautiful...so beautiful. I can see why she left me...I didn't stand a chance."

Lucifer grimaced when he realized that Adam must've been talking about Eden. Whether it was Eve or Lilith he was referring to was still being questioned in Lucifer's mind.

"Let's not waste your energy." Lucifer finally said.

Adam whimpered again but he continued talking. "Lilith was beautiful too...but she didn't like me...why did she not like me?"

"Maybe because you were a narcissistic dick who wanted to control her?" Lucifer said with a glare. Any kind of sympathy he had for the sinner was gone. How could Adam even ask that?!

Adam shook his head, clearly too out of it to understand that the devil was insulting him. "That's not what she said..." He slurred out. A look of sadness came over Adam and, to Lucifer's growing discomfort, looked like he was going to cry.

"She told me I was disgusting...that she didn't want to stand next to someone so ugly." Lucifer was too stunned to speak. What?

"She didn't like me talking. I talk too much. She liked to gag me when she couldn't stand the noise. It hurt...." Adam was now crying, big tears rolling down his chubby cheeks.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Lucifer immediately asked. If he hated how Lilith treated him, especially if it hurt, then why didn't he make her stop? Adam certainly never backed down from a fight. In fact, he was usually starting them.

"I wanted her to like me..." Adam replied with a groan. His breathing seemed labored. "If I did what she wanted...then she'll like me....even if it hurt. Even if it made me cry." Adam furrowed his eyebrows, his hazy eyes looking into the distance. "No...she didn't like me crying. She said it was annoying and ugly so I don't do it anymore." It was ironic with the tears streaming down his face.

Adam turned his golden eyes to the devil who flinched at the devastating but resigned look on his face. "I guess I didn't do it good enough...she found someone better...someone smarter...."

A large hand cupped Lucifer's cheek. "Who can compete with angels?" And then he passed out. Lucifer didn't know that he was holding his breath until he started gasping. What the fuck?

[yoonsdoll]

a love worth waiting for - chs

content : bsf!vernon x f!reader ; a lil angsty but fluff & happy ending ; 1.5k words warnings : vernon curses like 2ce lol - you are the most important person to vernon, but is it requited? an : i keep going on random writing hiatuses for no reason even tho i have so many ideas idek someone sos!!

vernon has loved you ever since he met you. as cheesy as it sounds, its something he cant deny whenever his friends ask him about, something he rants for hours about to his sister, something he finds himself thinking about more often than not. 

he remembers it like it was yesterday, even if its been years. it was an unusual meeting; seeing a pretty girl on a walk in the middle of summer would usually be normal, if only he didn't trip on a rock and land awkwardly conveniently on your path… and then make a comment on how his sister has the same shoes as you as if you’d care.

but you did. you made sure he was okay and laughed at his comment, then blabbered something about how your boyfriend has a similar hat to him. and, oh. he should've seen that coming.

of course he should have. such a put together, sweet girl would obviously have lines of guys lining up at her feet (or falling, in hansols case). but that didn’t matter - you only just met, you’d probably become friends if he asked for your number, that would be enough for him.

and for the first few months it was enough. you hit it off great, messaging each other often and even hanging out occasionally… well, when your jackass boyfriend let you. he hated your boyfriend - no, despised him. it wasn't even a case of jealousy; more of a genuine worry, at least for a while. he made it vocal on how he doesn’t like how your boyfriend controlled your life, but obviously supported your choices anyway. who wouldn't? you became his best friend, he would do anything to see you happy.

behind the worry he presented, vernon was stuck.

“i don't get it, why would she be with him if he's so.. controlling and mean?” everyday he called his friends.

“she literally looks unhappy, i feel bad and.. i dunno, angry... is that stupid?” everyday he talked about it, about how he wants to help you and, well, about you. “shes so… nice and pretty and forgiving. dude, he really doesn’t deserve her.”

until one day, “i could treat her better.”

he accepted it. he knew it wasn’t fair, for him or for you. everything leading up to that moment that he did, he thought it was simply sympathy. he put on this friendly act to not hurt your feelings, but maybe it was to not hurt his own. you wore your heart on your sleeve. it was obvious you were in love with your boyfriend, not him. and no matter what he did, that wouldn’t change.

soon you noticed the same things that vernon begged you to see in your boyfriend for a very long time. the gaslighting, restrictiveness, the bored attitude, and when you drifted apart it was only a waiting game till you broke it off.

vernon was surprised that the way his eyes sparkled when you came to cry to him didn’t give him away. truthfully, he couldn’t care less about the way it all went down or what he told you while you broke up with him. what mattered was that you were out of the situation you were blinded in. 

“he was a fucking dick,” no brainer, “its unfair - y'know, someone you love being out of reach.” those words sounded awfully familiar.

actually, maybe to him what mattered more is that he finally could reach you.

“i still love him,” you mumbled between your tears as vernon cooed at you.

he should've seen that coming too, and he couldn’t blame you at all - ever. but why did it sting so much more than the first time?

when he searched for your laugh after making a joke, you were laughing out of pity. when he comforted you, you weren’t thinking about him and how he was always there for you, instead you were thinking about yourself. when home to him was wherever you were, home to you was wherever your ex boyfriend was.

you just lost someone so dear to you and he was being so selfish. 

you two breaking up should've been the greatest thing he has heard in months, but instead he suddenly couldn’t help but feel like there was a bigger wall between you both than ever. 

of course, you never had feelings for him in the first place. vernon knew that. but something in him always held onto the possibility of you ending up together. not anymore, not after those four words left your mouth. he felt stupid for ever even having hope.

he paused to think before he spoke - something he rarely ever did when he was with you. “i know you do.” shaking his head gently, he added, “your heart just got broken, its a fresh wound, of course you still love him.” did everything he say have to apply to him too? it was almost humiliating in a way.

“its embarrassing… im the one who broke it off, i shouldn’t like him.” right, you felt it too.

at the end of the day, no matter who he was to you, you recognised him as someone you could trust. you spoke your thoughts freely, you were always by his side, you were his best friend; thats something vernon failed to see. he understood now to expect nothing but appreciate everything. because after all, being your friend would always be enough for him.

vernon promised himself he wouldn’t do or say anything stupid for your sake. he knew breakups are tough, and he knew that feelings don’t change in a day. he loved you, so he never would blame you for anything negative you made him feel. he wouldn’t blame you because you didn’t know.

or so he thought.

because months later when you arrived at his door looking more nervous than usual with a small smile on your face, vernon couldn’t be more confused.

“its almost 11pm.. what’re you doing here…?”

you let yourself in, setting your shoes aside and placing your coat on the hanger before grabbing his hand and dragging him to the couch to sit down.

“is it true?” 

“...is what true?”

“is it true that you have feelings for me?”

was that a trick question? “i mean..” he cleared his throat with a harsh cough, leaving the room silent for a few moments that felt like hours. “is that really what you’re doing at my house at 11 in the evening?”

“stop it. stop avoiding the question. just answer me.” 

“where’d you even get that idea from? dude i mean, you’re my best friend so if you’re asking -”

“you know what im asking..” your hands felt clammy, suddenly regretting knocking on the door after debating if you should for a solid 5 minutes. “i’m.. not mad or anything.” you added.

this was the million dollar question. he felt scared. “ha..” he couldn’t help but scoff to himself, “yeah.” though his tone tried being confident, the lack of eye contact and leg jittering was enough to see how nervous he truly was.

“im… so sorry,” you stared at him with your nose slightly scrunched - a detail he noticed whenever you were upset. “what? sorry? pfft.. theres nothing to be sorry for.” you figured he’d say that.

“im sorry for not noticing it earlier. i feel like an idiot.”

“no.. i feel like the idiot.” he quickly butted in, trying to take the blame, “you shouldn’t have to ‘notice’ anything. i should have told you ages ago so we could get past… whatever this is. i was just being a pussy and i -”

you admired his dedication to try explain but decided to stop him. “no vernon, im sorry for making you wait.” 

making him wait? “what are you even talking about? you didn’t do anything i swear…”

“maybe you really are the idiot..” you suddenly smiled a little wider, catching him off guard, “i meant i'm sorry for not noticing my feelings.. for you.. earlier.”

if he was confused before, he was now completely dumbfounded. the frown on his face wiped into a completely new expression. one of certain shock and hope, but with an equal amount of doubt. 

“agh..” you groaned in fake annoyance, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, “i’m telling you that i like you too.”

oh. for once, he didn’t see that coming.

“are you serious?” he mumbled out, struggling to process the consumed information, a million things going through his mind.

“no im lying.” you tilted your head, “obviously im serious, why else would i be here?”

“you’re right.. i don’t know why i said that.” he nodded, a smile forming on his own face, “im just… at a loss of words dude.”

he let go of a breath he didn’t notice he was holding, sighing from relief as he looked at you. no more words were exchanged before he moved closer to hug you. a hug of love, ease and joy.

“so.. can i be your boyfriend?” he whispered in a happier tone than before, the previous fear moulded into delight.

“yeah. i’d like that a lot.”

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

Knight and Rat

Posted this on my idv server but then my brain was like lol MORE so here we are lol

Rated Mature | Warning: Heat cycles

A feral little street urchin, the cards were never in your favor until he found you. You were stealing food from the supply wagons with the other street urchins, a rather organized hit from what he read of the reports.

You the leader had been willing to take the fall and ordered that anyone who gets captured to rat only you out. There is loyalty, fierce, and he could see the way you do not falter or flinch at the threats of imprisonment or even death.

“Welcome to the White King’s Army, rats!”

For your crimes of thievery of goods from the Royal White Army, you will serve in the military. Your training is overseen by the fearsome White Knight Ithaqua.

The others who were caught with you were also given the same sentence.

Ithaqua expects you all to break, you told them, they want spare bodies to toss into the battlefield to die— You will not let them die.

“Watch each others’ backs. We will show them!”

The training is vicious and merciless, and many nights the others would wish they were back on the streets rather than here.

“I want to fight Lord Ithaqua.” A full six months in and things were getting worse as White Kingdom started preparing for war with the Crimson Kingdom.

The final test is to put the rookies into their ranks.

The last group is yours with others nervous but ready.

“You dare challenge the White Knight?!” The person who made the selection shouted. You are looking at the bastard who gave you all hell for six months, who forced your found family into a service none of them can truly handle.

“Alright.” Getting up from his seat and grabbing his glaive, “What are your terms, rat?”

“If I make you bend the knee then you let my brothers and sisters go.”

“What about you?”

“I will remain in their place to fulfill the rest of their sentences.”

“Hmm.”

“If you win then my sentence gets extended.” You grab the training lance, two of them. “Do you agree to these terms?”

“Either way I keep you caged, rat.” Though without his full regalia, he is still a force to be reckoned with.

You go into a battle stance, he stands casually as he expects you to go strange at him. Two minutes and he becomes impatient enough to go after you.

The fight lasted longer than he expected as you used two lances, a combination of some of his skills and ones you picked up from other knights. Speed and agility to wear him down is a good idea but many have tried that before on him.

The last attack took a lot out of you as you threw everything you had to push him in at least one knee, but in the end, you were defeated and on the ground struggling to get up.

You were so angry, the rage on your face as you were forced to gaze upon the unaffected knight.

“Your siblings are free to go,” He crouches down in front of you, “But you belong to me from now on.”

Ithaqua was terrifying before to train with another teacher but training completely only under him is worse. Every day you go to bed sore and often barely unable to eat because of how painful it feels to chew and swallow.

But you do eat out of spite, to prove you will not break! To be able to beat him!

Tonight, he allows a break, a moment of rest for your wounds to heal properly. Though you antagonize him, you think this is out of pity and you will have none of it.

“I don't want your sympathy!” Attacking him with a training stick, “Fuck you!”

Ithaqua stands there holding the stick with one hand then smells the air before his eyes narrow, “Explains the hostility lately.” You can be stubborn but not violent. You usually are level-headed.

The dynamic between you both is not a mentor to the student, you both are soldiers in his eyes and equals in that sense. You do belong to him, you carry his crest marking a part of his house, nothing more.

“I hate you! Put me down right now! Don't touch me.”

Half breeds are always a mess to deal with, he does not know how his adopted mother handled him, especially during this time.

Late bloomers are rare but given you were not around your kin it makes sense being around Ithaqua would set you off. 

Heat. He takes an herbal mixture to keep him in check thus why he is so calm about this.

“Take off your clothes.” Best to do this outside to not have your room smell of sex.

“Make me, Ithaqua!” You are just being combative.

He sighs as he does exactly that.

“We are not fighting, (Name).”

You are giggling in a feral way as you run away, shit, his instincts calling to him to chase after you. And he does rough house with you in the garden behind his abode.

Clothing was stripped off and some were ripped off.

It takes a bit of work and he is grateful at least you are more than wet enough to help with the preparation.

There are a couple of times you are on top of him, mocking him, scratching and biting him. Feral thing!

But it does not last and when he is finally inside of you…

You are a perfect fit, too perfect, he hates he might have to savor this.

"Ithaqua," He hums at the sound of your voice. "Ithaqua!" That's better just the right pitch as you claw at the fabric of his coat under you. He needed it off and you do not like how grass feels on your naked sweaty skin. "More, ah, please."

"So polite," He gives more as he grabs a handful of your hair and pulls it back. "Louder." Growling as he feels you get tight around him.

"Ithaqua!" Crying out his name as cum from both the sharp pain of hair pull and his cock. He keeps going until he pulls out and cums all over your back. Then you drop to the ground completely spent and in a daze.

The White Knight leans back on his calves, hands slicking back his messy wet hair, this went on longer than you both expected.

He laughs when you complain about being sticky.

[beamtori]

the sink™ imagine

fwb!ji changmin x afab!reader

0.9k words, no plot, fwb!au but obvi he's fond of u, swearing, skirt things, unprotected sex (wrap it before u fckn tap it), piv sex, bathroom sex, he grabs your neck once, creampie, multiple orgasms, one clit slap, pet names, he's kinda possessive?, he's wearing glasses? *bites lip*, lmk if i forgot anything yo

a/n: okay,, you guys can have my precious 💔 i went delusional for three days because of the thought of getting railed against a sink tbh (i also just really wanted to post something on this acct after so long lol)

You desperately grabbed onto the sink in front of you as he drove his cock into you, hips slamming against your ass with enough force to send you careening forward. His fingers dug into your sides as he pulled himself out and shoved forward again.

“Think you can just get away with walking this pretty ass around in a skirt—” His teeth sank into his bottom lip as he watched his cock sink into you. “—after what I told you last night? Hm?”

You met his eyes in the mirror, trying to keep your head on straight before your eyes rolled all the way back from the pleasure. “Fuck—I’m—” you stammered as he rearranged your fucking organs with his cock, “—please, just wanted your attention—”

He lifted one hand off your body to nudge his glasses up when they began slipping down his nose. His lips pulled into a smirk, and that alone nearly sent you over the edge. He hissed, hands pinning you against the counter so he could properly fuck you. “Well, pretty girl, you got it. Shit—squeezing me so good, baby. You like this, don't you?”

“Feels so good,” you moaned, your hardened nipples rubbing against the cold stone beneath you.

“I should spank this ass.” He palmed the flesh there as it jiggled with every snap of his hips. “You'd like that, wouldn't you? So you're reminded of who fucks you this good every time you sit down.”

You whimpered at his words, walls clenching down on him.

He laughed sharply. “Oh god, you're so naughty—ugh, fuck, taking my cock so well, baby. Look at you.”

You were scrambling to get a grip on something in a desperate attempt at grounding yourself. The only reason you hadn't yet crumpled to the ground was because he had your hips pinned between his and the countertop. “Please, I'm so close,” you cried.

He grunted, reaching around to drill his fingers into your clit. You nearly screamed at the added stimulation, your teeth driving down into your lip hard enough to draw blood.

“How many times d'you think I can make you cum, hm?” He teased with a wild glint in his eyes. He leaned over to press a kiss to your spine. “You think if you walked outta here like a baby deer, they'd know who this pussy belongs to?”

He slapped your clit and it wrenched a choked out moan from your throat.

Your head made pitiful nodding motions. “Changmin, please,” you whimpered, pushing your hips back against him. It was addicting—the wanton sounds of wet squelching echoing in the bathroom, the sharp slaps of his balls hitting your ass.

“What about my cum dripping down your thighs? These gorgeous thighs—” He could feel himself drooling like your pussy. There was a milky ring around the base of his cock driving him insane. He could be here all fucking day.

You tightened around him as your orgasm hit you like a bus. Your entire body shuddered as you bit down onto your arm to muffle your screaming. All the while, he didn't even slow his pace down for a second. His strokes kept steady as he fucked you through it.

Goddamn, you wouldn't mind if the shape of his cock was outlined on the inside of you at this point.

You squirmed at the overstimulation as he continued drilling into you, his breathing heavy, muscle in his jaw feathering. “Oh my god, Changmin,” you babbled. Your brain was going foggy.

“Shit baby, you fucked out? But I'm not done yet,” he pouted in fake sympathy. He leaned forward again and grabbed the front of your throat with his hand, tilting your head back slightly. “Need you to cum for me again.”

He was still chasing his own climax, his strokes getting faster and messier. You could feel your next orgasm coming fast and your knees buckled. His fingers returned to your clit; you saw fucking white.

You braced your palms up against the mirror as you came crashing down. Changmin's hips slowed and his forehead hit your shoulder as he painted your insides with his cum. The sensation had you mewling again, your cunt clenching down on him.

“Fuck, there's no way I can go to class after this,” he murmured against you, pressing a tender kiss to the side of your head. “How you feeling, pretty? You did so well for me.”

You laughed as you held your face in your hands. “Oh god… I'm fine. I just need a second.”

His warm chuckle sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. “Take as long as you need.” The back of his knuckles danced down your back fondly from over your shirt. “Crap, my cum's drippin’ outta you.”

Changmin straightened slightly and carefully pulled out of you. A mixture of yours and his cum began seeping out of your cunt, and your lower lips fluttered at the sudden emptiness. He started looking around the bathroom for spare paper towels to help clean you up with.

When you were all wiped down, he held your panties for you to step into, and your knees wobbled an embarrassing amount of times. There was a smugness to his expression as you grappled onto his shoulders while he pulled your panties up to snap against your ass.

“What?” He grinned, nudging his glasses up.

You scowled lightly at him. “If I fall down in front of someone today, it's gonna be your fault.”

He patted your butt affectionately. “I'll take the blame,” he mused. Then he leaned over next to your ear to murmur, “And I'd do it all again.”

Your pussy clenched around nothing. “No more impromptu fucking sessions unless you're gonna buy me food after,” you said, wrinkling your nose at him.

Changmin beamed boyishly and flicked your nose. “Sure thing, pretty.”

tbz m.list

[kairiscorner]

he survived your grumpiness in the morning, now you survive his <33

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

grumpy noir x sunshine reader

peter came home from a long day. he was late to work, coffee spilled all over his cleanest and only button-down of the week because he forgot to do the laundry and would have to get right to it the minute he came home, his boss barked orders at him like he was some errand boy, which he pretty much was, given how little he was respected there--and all his photos for the paper were either blurry, uninteresting, or just flat out crappy.

it really was not peter's day today, not in the slightest. and to top it all off, on his commute home, he missed the last train for the day because his boss kept him at work, berating him for his poor performance, and of course, laughing in his face about it when he noticed his eyes were welling up with tears at the amount of horrible things shaping up his equally horrible day. oh, and it rained cats and dogs on the way home, what luck.

the time peter came home, he was about as sullen as the gray, monochrome rainy sky. he wrung out his sopping wet coat out from the veranda and threw it on the coat hanger, which toppled and fell over to its side. frustrated, peter grumbled to put it back in place. he slumped down on his sofa, trying to light his cigarette. "please, for my sake universe, give me this one good thing and let me light my damn cig." he muttered to himself angrily as he kept clicking on the mechanism of the lighter. it absolutely refused to light, only giving tiny sparks as peter kept pushing down on the mechanism.

he inevitably gave up and sank further into his sofa, angry at... everything, really. he hardly got this way, but seeing as how nothing went his way today at all, could he really be blamed? he closed his eyes as he leaned against the sofa's back, trying to sleep it off, but that simple pleasure couldn't even be granted to him.

the doorbell rang, and peter swore under his breath as he stumbled up to go get it. he opened the door, and, to his surprise... you were there. you grinned at him, all sweetly and brightly, your eyes looking up into his own, which reflected the murkiness of today's weather--sullen and melancholic as nothing, not a single thing, was right about today.

"good evening, pete." you greeted him in a chipper voice. peter looked at you nonchalantly. "oh, um, yeah. good evening." he greeted back, with emphasis on the "good" part, which that day was everything but that very word.

"how're you... oh." you began, but soon trailed off when you noticed how he was dripping wet, completely drenched in rain water from top to bottom as he opened the door a little more. "peter, you're soaking wet!" you pointed out, to which peter placed a hand on his forehead and nodded. "i couldn't catch the train, missed the last one, so had to walk home. and... yeah, the rain caught me as i was heading home, and..." he narrated his horrid day.

you looked at him with a concerned expression, feeling extremely bad for him. "oh, pete, i'm real sorry to hear that." you told him as you sympathized with the poor man. "as much as i'd like to say i appreciate that sympathy, i can't really put with void apologies when it isn't even your fault, now." he said in a rather cold tone, signifying he didn't want to talk about it nor have you pity his situation right then and there.

you nodded. "i understand." you tell him as you gaze into his frustrated eyes. "i don't need you to, but thanks anyway." he said as he was about to close the door on you, but you held it open by putting yourself in between, your hand holding the door open. "pete... can i come in?" you ask him, which perplexed him a little. why would you want to enter his home after he made it perfectly clear he just wanted to be alone for the time being.

you sympathetically grinned up at him. "please?" you gave him those irresistible doe eyes he found so endearing, those eyes that always worked on him whenever you needed him to do something for you.

he sighed in frustration and nodded slowly. "fine, just... don't cause too much of a mess while you're here." he said as he slumped back down on the couch.

you sighed as peter didn't change out of his sopping wet clothes. you took off your coat and handed it to peter. "it's your own house, so... i suppose you wouldn't be too embarrassed to change out of those wet clothes for something warm and dry?" you asked him in a concerned voice as he looked up at you and the coat in your hands.

you chuckled. "don't worry, it's quite porous, it'll keep you warm and stay dry." you beamed as your lips curved into a small smile for him. "i... okay. thank you." he said as he gently took the coat from you and began to change when you walked off.

"have you eaten yet, pete?" you asked him as you looked around his place. he shook his head. "can't bring myself to cook right now, let alone enter the kitchen. might burn down the house without aunt may here." he muttered, to which you found yourself giggling at. "what's so funny?" he asked, confused, as he turned his head to look at you.

you shook your head as you kept smiling. "nothing, that is true, though. ms. parker did say to keep you out of the kitchen, you're lucky i'm always here to look after you, peter." you beamed as you headed into the kitchen as you rolled up your sleeves. "you hungry?" you asked him.

he took a few seconds to respond, until he finally spoke up. "yeah, um, i'm kinda hungry, now that i think about it." he sounded like he calmed down after his frustration overtook him earlier. "alright, just wait right there pete, i'm on the way." you declared as you readied ingredients to whip him up something nice.

soon after, peter was presented with a steaming hot dinner, prepared by you. you smiled as you readied up the table for him, as well. he felt a little embarrassed at how a guest, who he initially refused and showed him nothing but sympathy for his frustration, no matter how much he didn't want to talk about it, readied his table and fed him food in his own home.

"you... didn't have to do this, really." he said in a low voice, which came out as a sort of grumble, but you knew he meant to thank you. "come on now, peter. i could tell you weren't feeling at your best right now. i just want you to enjoy at least one small thing from today, even if it won't last forever." you told him as you sat across him from the table and gave him a small chuckle as he blew on his food, looking up at you, too.

"you made my favorites?" he asked in subtle disbelief. you nodded with a grin. "nothing beats having your favorites after a not-so good day. if you want, i'd make you your favorites forever, if you'd like, and offer you my coat when you're stuck in the rain. i'd even listen to you grumble and gripe about all the crappy stuff that's happened to you, even if you're... going to be angry at me for wanting to sympathize." you said with a small laugh as peter hung his head.

"sorry i've been so cranky and out of it today, really, i just... nothing went my way today." he admitted, very ashamed of his own behavior, he knew better than to treat you that way, but he did what he did. you reached for his hand from across the table. "peter, i understand. really, i do. your emotions are valid, never let anyone, not even yourself, tell you not to feel what you're feeling. i'd love you even if you perpetually had a storm cloud over your head and a unibrow from frowning all day and night." you said earnestly as peter blushed slightly at your words.

he adjusted his glasses on his face as he cleared his throat. "um... thank you. again. i really, really appreciate it. i... i appreciate you." he said as you giggled at his flustered self. "don't mention it, pete. i can come by tomorrow and tend to you, even if you'll be doubly cranky then!" you joked, but were serious about wanting to come by tomorrow.

"ah... yes, please. i'll try to keep my crankiness to a minimum. but i doubt it'll linger any longer if you're here." he said with a smile, the first smile that ever cracked on his face ever since the day started. it ended with you and him, smiling and laughing, forgetting the horrible day he had at the beginning, only to relish this lovely evening you two shared.

a/n: I'M SORRY IF IT SUCKS BTW, I'M MAKING THIS WHILE TIRED BECDBEIBCIUEBCIFRBIVBR

[fl3shm4id3n]

ₐ ᵥₐₘₚᵢᵣₑ'ₛ ₕₑₐᵣₜ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐧'𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧, 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐨. 𝐈𝐟 𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴀꜱᴛᴀʀɪᴏɴ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ᴛᴀᴠ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ꜱᴏɴɢ: ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ɢᴜɴᴅʀʏ- ᴀ ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ'ꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ

Tw: Manipulation, a bit of toxicity, love confessions, hugging, fluffy ending.

Masterlist

You knew alright, it was obvious what Astarion was doing with you. This 'relationship' was all ponies and rainbows. It was lust and manipulation, same with some blood drinking here and there. Bad thing was that you had fallen for him, but did he fall for you? Possibly not. You could of ended it, but you didn't. You wanted to at least see any change in him, you knew he could be a better person. You also understood why he was the way that he was. It was all because of his master Cazador. He was the one responsible for making Astarion how he was. So it wasn't all his fault, he too was manipulated and morphed into who he was.

Despite all that, you saw good in him, he only needed a little push and kindness, since you heard that no one has ever been nice to him or showed any kind of sympathy towards him. You could see why he also lacked sympathy, empathy and pity. You knew you couldn't 'fix' him completely, but you at least wanted to help him in a way. He didn't have to change for you, but himself, this was more about him than you.

You were about to go to sleep, but then you were approached by Astarion, who seemed to have a look of worry, that was new. You got up from the floor to face him. "Do you have a moment?.. I-I think we need to talk.." he said, nervously. Making you tilt your head a bit. "Are you all right?" you asked, now a bit worried for him, you've never seen him in this kind of state. "Oh yes, I'm fine. I just... feel awful." He seemed to confess something he had been feeling for a while. "Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so that you'd never turn on me." He finished with a nervous chuckle. You gave him your full attention, trying to see where this was going. "It was easy! instinctive, Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it." He added. And You did, you've fallen for him, hard. "And all I had to do is... not fall for you.." He said a little more calmly. As if he finally had told you something he had been keeping in.

"Which is where my, nice simple plan.. fell apart." He said defeated, this was a new kind of emotion he was feeling, you could tell. He was struggling to understand that new feeling, was it some kind of sympathy? "You're...you're incredible... you deserve something real..." he said, sadly. Was he going to leave you? You thought. "I want us... to be something real." He added to the mix. Your eyes slightly widen, he wanted to remain with you, except, he wants your relationship, to be an actual relationship. "So the night we spent together didn't mean anything?" you asked this time, wanting to know more. "Of course they did! That's the problem.." that sounded wrong, but he continued. "Well part of it." He said while taking a deep breath of air, air he didn't really need.

"Being... close to someone, in any kind of intimacy was something I performed. To lure people back for... him." He said bitterly. Just the thought and mentions of his master had a sour test in his mouth. "Even though things between us are different, being with someone still feels.... tainted. It stills brings up those feelings of disgust and loathing. I don't know how else to be with someone..." He said, still a bit conflicted on how to put his words in. "No matter how much I'd like to." He finished, looking a bit more calm, but nervously. "I care about you, deeply." You confessed to him.

You saw how his eyes widen by your confession. In surprise. "Really?" He asked, still a bit surprised by your words. "Yes, part of your plan did work. I fell for you, those nights we were together, they were something special to me. I've never really been with anyone like I have been with you. Sure, I had my lovers in the past, but... you've meant a lot to me since the first night we did anything together." You explained to him. "That night, I remember your touches as if they were yesterday." You added, making your face heat up by the sudden confession. Astarion was frozen on the spot, by your sudden confession, you fell for him, but not in the way that he'd expect. Your words sounded genuine and true, he could hear it in your voice.

Instead of saying a word, you went up to him, giving him a hug around his waist. He remained frozen, not knowing where to place his arms around at first, but then he wrapped them around your back and placing his chin on your shoulder. It was quiet, except for the sounds of the cackling fire and the crickets. You both remained like that for a couple of minutes, it felt as if it was only you and him in the camp. Your heart beat could also be heard, it was beating fast, but it was also calming. Then you finally pulled away and looked at each other.

"You...you're full of surprises... Aren't you?" He asked with a cheeky smile, "Honestly I have no idea what we're doing." He admitted with a chuckle. "Or what comes next." He said, then he stuck his hand out to you, which you gladly took. He then placed his free hand on top of yours as a way to protect it. You felt his cold hands cupping your own, despite his skin being cold, it felt warm in a strange way. "But I knew that this... this is nice." He said with a small smile to you. A genuine smile, a happy smile. Just by looking at him in the eyes, you saw how happy he was.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I just saw your aro video and in it you said you would like to be spared sympathy because it alienates aromatic people.

But when you described that in your video that's exactly the reaction I had and so I just needed to ask what's a way to process in solidarity when someone says they cannot feel that way?

(this is the video in question)

That's not... quite correct. What I was talking about there is the tendency of alloromantic people (i.e. people who do feel romantic attraction) to approach the aromantic experience from a place of pity.

So, I say "yeah I don't feel romantic attraction," and they respond with something along the lines of "oh that's such a sad thing, I'm so sorry you are missing out on this."

And that's... rather grating, because it treats me as though I am defective in some way, or as though I live through a human experience which is lesser, rather than simply different.

People respond to the idea of not feeling romantic attraction with confusion, disbelief, and incredulity, because culture teaches us that to live without romantic love is to be embittered, lonely, deprived, sad and miserable. And so people pity us, and express their sympathy in the same way you might express sympathy for a bereavement.

Now, the truth of course is that I do feel some longing, some sadness, and an internalized desire to be "normal," to have the same experience everyone else does. I absolutely do feel that I am missing out, that a part of what it means to be human is closed off to me.

But the source of those feelings is self-pity, the source of those feelings is self-hate and insecurity and a rejection of my own experience. When I feel those things, it's because I have internalized the idea that my experience is not normal, that there's something wrong with me which ought to be fixed.

It is miserable to feel that way. I hate feeling that way. Because the rational truth is that I am not broken, I am not abnormal, I am not deprived, I am simply living a different version of the human experience, and I get to have emotional connections and relationships that alloromantic people will never have access to, too.

It has taken me a lot of long, hard work to get to a point where I feel my aromantic nature in neutral terms, where it is not a good thing or a bad thing, but simply a thing. And every time people respond to me with pity, they cut at the foundations of all that work, and invalidate it.

But in answer to your question: All aromantic people are different, we all feel different ways about what it is like to be us. But when it comes to me at least, if you want to express your solidarity with my aromantic experience, treat it as though it is normal. If I tell you I am aromantic, react as though I've just commented on the weather, or told you what my favourite color is. Just accept it, and don't make a thing out of it.

You're more than welcome to ask questions, or be confused, and you have the right not to instantly understand things, but approach it from the presumption that even if you don't understand it, this is just a normal part of what it means to be human. Because it is.

[liquidorcard]

You know, while we're on this topic, to the people who dismiss the idea that media is important in a very tangible way that deeply effects people's lives, let me tell you about the song Saint Veronika by Billy Talent.

Tw again: Discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation.

I'm fully aware Billy Talent is considered one of those 3edgy5me bands to people today. Tbh, I think a lot of people who dismiss entire musicians' bodies of work/genres are often fucking wrong and just irony poisoned when you dig a little deeper but that's besides the point-- for the sake of this point I'll just say, I don't give a fuck.

If this isn't your taste in music, if you don't connect with this because of how aggressively 2010s it is, I got no bones to pick with you. This was the shit I grew up listening to though, and I still love it even if my music tastes have expanded.

Now, to the point:

Picture this, it's 2010. You are a 13 year old deeply closeted AFAB trans kid attracted to women. You're three years any of privately coming out as a lesbian, five years away from openly identifying as one, and a full 12ish years away from transitioning. You live in a conservative hick town and you have good reason to believe if your parents found out, you would be disowned so you do everything to suppress those feelings. You have had a very traumatizing childhood, you live in a very unstable home. You're beginning to develop a chronic illness that will go untreated for 10 years, which causes you a LOT of pain. You have been an insomniac since you can remember, and have had concerningly few good night sleeps your whole life. You have had limited medical and no mental health treatment, to the point where you know asking for any is already off the table. However, have been told all your life by your formerly poor parents because of your upper-middle-class upbringing, any negative feelings you have are invalid and a sign of your laziness, and how spoiled you are. You have been told so often you must be faking your chronic pain, your fatigue, vomiting and migraines you've begun to wonder if you're just a big baby. They haven't even clued in yet that the reason why you're struggling with the switch to English from French schooling is because you're dyslexic and need glasses. In about a year's time you're going to begin developing an eating disorder. You've been bullied at school by students AND teachers since you were in grade 1. It's a good week if you've only cried once. You are ALREADY a year and a half roughly into stealing your parent's booze as quite literally the only resource you have access to to cope-- no fear that you'll be caught since they have such an absurd amount of it.

Now like, I'm not trying to throw myself a pity party here. Honestly, people expressing sympathy when I talk about what my life is like makes me uncomfortable. I understand people mostly genuinely feel bad and don't know what else to say, but like, I'm not telling people about this so they feel bad, lol. No offense, but like, it happened to me not you, and I'm spent plenty of my own time feeling bad for me-- I'm kinda over it, mostly.

No, I'm saying all this to make a point: I feel wanting to die is a pretty reasonable response for a 13 year old to have in those circumstances. Like, what else am I going to do? I had be told all my life the issues I was having were me problems, I couldn't figure out how to overcome them. If I'm the problem, like. You know, that's the obvious solution, right? Obviously as an adult I recognize that's not the case, but. I was barely a teenager.

To give context to the time period, I went to Catholic school. They had JUST stopped teachers from casually saying that people who commit suicide go to hell-- to fucking children. Stay classy, Alberta Catholic School Board. Oh, while we're here by the way, not too long ago they forced all the teachers to take any pride or LGBTQ+ related iconography down and started implementing policies like teachers being forced to out kids to their parents or risk being fired. Policies that would have put MY well-being in danger if they were implemented when I was a kid.

Here's their publically available email and phone number. No reason, just, if you're looking for a place to express your feelings on adults using their positions of authority to endanger children, or for a place to spam your dankest memes. I'm sure they'd love that:

E: http://acsta.ab.ca

T: (780) 484-6209

But, anyway, the new """progressive""" approach was to basically say just, "killing yourself is never the answer. Think of everything you have to live for." Literally, "Aha, don't kill yourself, your so sexy," before it was cool. 10/10 counciling. We had two suicides when I was in high-school, and countless other attempts.

What we have now isn't even that much better. What the fuck IS a teenager supposed to do with, "mental health is important, let's talk about it" but find out a lot of people are just as miserable as them? Which, finally, brings us back to this song . . .

"She was sick and tired of being invisible, Hard to see in color when you’re miserable,"

What is this I see!? Actual validation of negative emotions, articulated shockingly efficiently in a fucking song lyric?

"Veronika, Saint Veronika, You can't leave this world behind, So be strong enough to hold onto us, We're still right here by your side,

I know people kind of reflexively cringe when people say this or that piece of media saved their life. And, if it must be said, it's kind of fucked up that ANYONE has to get therapy from something like an emo-agacent rock band-- that's not supposed to be their fucking job. However, I can't articulate how much this meant to me when this song came out. "This IS as shit as it feels, but find the strength to hold on," managed to be just enough for me to survive until adulthood and get real mental health help. For me to tell my parents and be taken to the hospital after my first attempt at 16. Reframing it from "your life is precious" even though all perceived evidence was to the contrary for me and many other kids especially, to "find the resolve to keep going, you aren't as alone as you think."

"Always said her life was never meant to be, Stuck here living someone else's dream, Well beyond your window there is so much more, Even every prison has a open door,"

Though I'm a little jaded to some extent to the "it gets better" narrative, that was a more fresh idea at the time, and it is good to try and inspire hope in people going through suicidal ideation. It just can't be the be all, end all of the discussion.

Regardless, this verse articulates the emotional displacement of suicidal ideation really well. Especially for a kid stuck in a bad environment like I was.

"And while the angels sleep, All of the devils are awake, Waiting to steal your love, Right outside of Heaven's gate, And all the sacred hearts, Can't numb the feeling from the pain, Cause when the drugs don't work, You're gonna curse his holy name,"

To this day, nothing has captured my personal experience with suffering with suicidal ideation more than this bridge. Especially as someone raised Catholic. The metaphor of devils stealing your fundamental ability to love and be loved, to have meaningful bonds, just agapnizingly out of reach of safety and comfort. Because the systems supposedly there to protect your very "soul" aren't paying attention.

The Sacred Heart is the concept of God's divine love for humanity in the Catholic faith. The thing that is supposed to make you feel whole, complete and fulfilled. But, it's nothing. It's a sugar pill. It's symbolic of all the non-solutions presented to you to hand-wave away the problem without dealing with it. So you curse life itself, you reject the divinity of your own existence.

The music video is notably, pretty impressively tasteful too. Especially for the time. Yes it's visuals are also a little 2010s, but compared to trash fires like 13 Reasons Why that came out five or six years later. It threads the needle of using visual metaphor to communicate the pain, validate it, without glorifying suicide-- in my opinion.

Simple but effective: Doll girl unravels the more isolated she becomes, until it takes her life. It accurately depicts the act of suicide as a desperate attempt at ESCAPING from agony, not the solution. It manages to get the idea across while not showing any real life method itself. Genuinely, an extremely thoughtful exploration of the topic.

I don't know for sure if I'd be here today to write this post without this song but . . . There's 100% a chance. Real, accessible mental health care is what we really need, but in the mean time this is all some of us have. Especially minors.

Media matters.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Would love for there to be some nuance with the HP thing. "Every HP fan is an antisemitic terf" are you for real? I, and a lot of other people, grew up with Harry Potter. It was the first time that reading really sucked me in. I got a story of an "other" that found a place to belong, and in the same way, I got a community of fans that felt the same way. Now everyone who was a fan is being told to throw away that history. You can't even pretend that you liked it once.

And now I struggle. JKR is an abhorrent human being. She constantly doubles down on her bigotry, and is proud of it. I don't read any of her shitty detective novels, I'm not on Pottermore, I never got Hogwarts Legacy, even though all I wanted for years was an open world game in that universe. JKR will not see a dime of my money, nor will I involve myself in any way with anything new she does.

This whole thing has tainted so much of my childhood. I remember staying up late reading. Going to school, talking about the books with my friends who also stayed up late reading. Those were great times in my life. Now, whenever I reminisce, Tumblr is there in the back of my mind telling me how bigoted I am. How much of a TERF that I am. It's depressing.

Oh cry me an ocean about how you feel guilty that people don’t like you indulging in a piece of media that is actively used as a means to harm marginalized people in the real world. Are you actually going to come here and act as though you having social pressure to not put your Hogwarts house in your bio is anything compared to what trans people have to deal with from the author? Especially trans women in the UK. What’s depressing is you drowning in self pity about woe is you because people aren’t super stoked that you knowingly engage in something written by someone who is even now harming vulnerable people?

The thing about growing up is sometimes you have to actually grow up and stop taking things as a personal attack. If you grew up playing a video game and loving it and then it turned out the mind behind it and primary profiteer as such was actively a grand wizard of the KKK and you look back to the games and see ominous parallels between that deep hatred for marginalized people in the games themselves, I would not respect you for continuing to enjoy those games. If your favorite book was written by a serial child predator and you were bemoaning about people reacting coldly to the idea you still greatly enjoy that book, I would not feel sympathy for you. And I will not feel any level of pity for you if you are still in current year finding justifications and excuses to be a Harry Potter fan.

The implication you consider it tainted, not because you were able to reflect on how deep rooted the antisemitic and racist and pro-authoritarian themes are in the story and how easily we all just failed to notice it at the time, but because you are criticized on tumblr for still being a fan is not lost on me here.

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N One-Shot Series PRT 26

Tagging:@roryculkinluvr@thatsthewrongwallcraig@icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06@shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver@ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999 @x-prettyboy-x @rorylover71 @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27

Jack had woken up the next day feeling like absolute shit. Dr. Carty had told him that he needed to be checked in for a short stay just to get him back on track and Jack reluctantly agreed. He wasn't sure how he could fall so far with all the progress he had made. He knew bits and pieces of what happened last night but it was Dr. Carty who explained to him that Y/n had been with him and left in a hurry not wanting anything to do with him once the doctor had gotten there.

"Do you think I have time to stop by Y/n's and let her know I'll be gone for a bit?" Jack asked standing on the front porch.

"I suppose you could but if she isn't ready to forgive you Jack, don't push her." Dr. Carty pressed as he nodded his head. He walked across the street and knocked on the door, pulling his sleeves down to hide the bandages. Y/n opened the door and stared at him, unmoving.

"Hi." Jack croaked unable to really look at her.

"Um I just wanted to let you know that I'm going in for treatment for a little while. Carty thinks is best to get me back on track since I let some stupid shit take me out-"

"Don't make excuses. You stopped taking your meds because you wanted to punish yourself. Then instead of just taking it out on yourself, you took it out on me." Y/n had no sympathy for him.

"I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just trying to let you know what's happening. I told you I was a lot to handle." Jack reminded her.

"Yeah you did and I still wanted to be apart of your life but you aren't going to use your mental health as an excuse to be a shit person. You don't get to say horrible things to me and just get away with it. You damn sure don't get to put your hands on me and get away with it either." Y/n stepped towards Jack and he stepped down off the porch.

"Did...did I hurt you? I don't remember putting my hands on you." Jack looked her body over and she shook her head.

"Shanda said you didn't remember hitting her either. She called me after talking to your doctor. She loves you a lot." Y/n cleared her throat.

"I would understand if you never want to speak to me again-"

"Oh fuck off Jack. Don't pull that poor pitiful shit with me. You know I'm not going to fall for it." She spat.

"You fucked up because you decided to hurt yourself. Now you need to go and get your shit together. I'm not going to be anyone's punching bag ever." Jack heard those words and feared he had actually struck her.

"Have I ruined this? Be honest with me Y/n. Will I have something to come back here for with you?" Jack finally looked up at Y/n and she sighed.

"I shouldn't be what you're worried about right now. You need to go and get your shit together, maybe work on a real apology instead of the abundance of excuses you just showed up with. But most importantly, I want you to get better for you." Y/n seemed sincere and Jack nodded his head.

"I want you to know that I would have never hurt you if I was in my right state of mind. I would have never wanted to make you scared of me." Jack confessed and she nodded.

"I'm not scared of you Jack. I'm scared for you. I want you to control your mental illness, not let it control you." Y/n stepped down into his space.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

"Tell me that again when you've had time to sit with all of it." Y/n looked at his eyes and could see such an overwhelming sadness. He looked lost like he had just woken up for the first time in years. She rubbed her thumb on his forehead and sniffled, like she was trying not to make herself upset.

"Take care of yourself Jack." She turned on her heel and walked back inside. Jack kept his gaze on the door for a few moments before leaving and seeing Dr. Carty standing by his car.

"How did it go?" He asked curiously.

"She told me to go get my shit together and when I get back, we can talk then." Jack rubbed the back of his neck and Dr. Carty shook his head.

"Then we have some work to do. You can't just go to treatment, get your meds right and then come back, you know that right? You have to go through assessment again and see where you're at before we can release you. We have to know you won't hurt yourself or come off your meds again." Dr. Carty explained. Jack knew he fucked up but he didn't realize how badly he fucked up.

The last time he was sent for assessment, they held him for a year. What if they kept him for another year? What if Y/n moved on with her life and he never gets the chance to really apologize to her? What if he just fucked his whole life up for no reason?

"Don't let yourself get overwhelmed by the prospect of having to stay longer than you want Jack. You know you need the treatment, the time and the hands on care. You are no good to come out sooner than what you should if you plan to get back to this life you've created with people you care about." Dr. Carty squeezed his shoulder.

"I know...I just don't want to lose her trying to find myself again. It took me too long to get back to who I was before." Jack looked at his doctor who gave him a sad smile.

"I don't think you are back to that shell Jack. I think you just had a weak moment and we need to take care of that to avoid bigger issues in the future."Jack looked at Y/n's front door again and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Alright Doc...let's get to work." Jack got into the car with his doctor and kept his head down as they drove towards the hospital. Y/n watched the car pull out of the driveway and she finally let herself cry. The last 24 hours was so heavy and she hated that she let herself get so caught up in her feelings for Jack, she forgot that he had struggles just like her.

Later that night, she got a call from Dr. Carty she wasn't expecting.

"I know it's late but we just got Jack settled in for the night and I wanted to get your permission before I fulfilled his request." Dr. Carty said.

"What request would that be?" She asked concerned.

"Jack would like to add you to his emergency contacts. It means I can share his medical updates with you. He has no living family so it would only be you and Shanda. I personally think it would be a good idea since you're so much closer than she is." He explained. Y/n stayed silent for a moment.

"Would you be comfortable with that?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm fine with that...just don't tell him I said I agreed okay?" She didn't want him thinking he was in the clear just because she cared about his health.

"He's going to be okay Y/n. So will you. You're a very strong young lady. I hope you do what's best for your life and I hope that includes Jack." Dr. Carty was so far off book and he knew that but Y/n could hear how much he cared about Jack as more than just a patient.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Pairing(s):Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Jacob Black x Witch!OC

Warnings: none

Words: 2764

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7 Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23   Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28 Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 39 Part 40(series finale)

Leah looks at the screen of her phone. Even after all this time, seeing Sam's name lit up on her phone makes her stomach drop. Her finger hovering over the green answer button. She didn't want to talk to him, especially when Dieufel was still over at his house. But in the end, Sam was her alpha.

Jacob leans over to snoop. They'd been hanging out a lot more, bonding through the fact that both of them imprinted on witches. "He's gonna keep calling if you don't answer."

Groaning, she pinches the bridge of her nose and leans back against the raggedy couch that was in the Black garage. "I know. But the moment I switch to my wolf, everyone will know. Ugh, I just don't want to hear anymore of their pity. I got enough of it with the whole Sam and Emily ordeal. Even more when my dad died."

"I don't think it's pity. More like sympathy because we can feel your pain through the pack telepathy." He tries to explain. Then his own phone started to ring. He raises an eyebrow and turns from Leah for a moment. "It's (y/n)." They hadn't spoken to one another since she told Bella about him imprinting on Evita. In retrospect maybe he should have told Bella. They were friends after all, right? She should be happy for him that he'd found his destined mate.

He decides to answer, knowing that there could only be two reasons why you were calling: to apologize or something bad has happened. But the voice on the other end wasn't that of his friend's. It was Edward who started talking. His speech broken up by the sound of rushing wind. Jacob presses the phone closer to his ear. "What's going on?"

Edward raises the volume of his voice. "Irina is heading your way!"

"What?" Jacob still didn't understand what Edward meant. Irina? The issue with the Denali clan had been taken care of. Or, at least that's what Jacob surmised when (y/n) came back alive. Uncertainly he looks to Leah. "He's saying something about Irina coming here."

The call cuts off.

Leah's on her feet and pulling her tank top over her head. "It's a warning idiot."

Her skin ripples, breaking apart into fur and pure muscle. Limbs elongate and form into ginormous paws with bayonets for claws.

Jacob didn't have the opportunity to shift into his wolf. Standing in the opening of his garage was a woman with pitch black eyes staring at them. Her long, platinum blonde hair tumbled down over her shoulders. By the paleness of her complexion, she could only be Irina.

Leah bares her fangs, the gray fur that ran along her back was raised in agitation. Irina glances at Leah, eyes unblinking. "Such an unsightly creature you are. This is what killed Laurent. . .What the Cullens are protecting. I have all rights to kill you."

He notices the slight flair of her nostrils taking in their scent. Also to see if they were afraid of her presence. Jacob takes trained, slow breaths to lower the increasing beating of his heart. His tongue sticks to the roof of his dry mouth.

Irina's lips curls in a distasteful snarl. "Filthy animals." The hatred she has toward them reeks. Leah's snout crinkles at the scent.

Time moves fast. The moment Irina leaps for Jacob has Leah simultaneously leaping over Jacob's car to get to the vampire. They take a tumble, causing a massive hole in the weak, old wood of the garage. Jacob takes the distraction to shift and there's a fury of snapping jaws when (y/n)'s wolf breaks past the lining of trees, Evita, Dieufel and Edward on her back.

"Irina! Stop!" Edward shouts from atop of (y/n)'s back. He launches himself easily off and into the bramble of vampire fangs and wolf snouts. He grabs Leah by the scruff to stop her and tries to peel Irina away. Irina may as well have been another animal as she gnashed her teeth, trying to get a bite of Leah. Jacob and (y/n) stood on the outside, hesitant to intervene lest you risk harming any of them.

Evita digs out from the bag hanging from her hip something that fell like sand through her fingers as she thrust it into the ball of tangled limbs and teeth. After she mutters a few words, the reaction is near instantaneous, a sudden volt of energy that expel the vampires away from Leah. Leah manages to stay on her feet through the sheer will of her claws in the earth. Irina and Edward slide off to the other side. Finally Edward had an opening to fully get ahold of her.

In her craze, Irina launches her upper body forward as Edward maneuvers her into a secure leg lock. "Now Dieufel!"

Both he and Evita speed over to where Irina and Edward struggle on the ground, eyes focused and hands gracefully weaving intricate patterns in the air while Evita is making a large circle around Edward and Irina. His lips move without any sound coming from them. Citrus smell accompanies his use of magic, like with Evita. Everyone could smell the spell swirling in the air. Irina glares daggers at him the entire time all while trying to free herself from Edward's hold. Around the two vampires, the atmosphere seems to crackle. Leah's ears press flat against her skull at the sensation of each strand of fur is standing at attention. Everyone misses the trickling presence of the others in the pack. They remain at the border of trees and open space but ready to pounce if aid was required.

Dieufel continues his chanting and once Evita has made symbols in the dirt with her finger, the circle glows faintly.

"Edward, let go of Irina as fast as you can and grab my hand." Evita instructs him. His bronze head nods in understanding. In a blink of an eye, he unlatches himself from Irina and is being pulled out of the ring by Evita.

Irina surges to follow but appears to slam face first into an invisible wall. Spinning on her heel and near frothing at the mouth, she moves in Dieufel's direction but is met by the same forcefield. They simply have a stare down. Dieufel is unimpressed by her. He actually looks a bit bored with Irina as he spits out the simple command "Sleep."

Her defiance wavered as an unexpected weariness washed over her. She staggers back a few steps before her eyes droop closed and her body crumples to the ground.

"She didn't get you with her teeth, did she?"Jacob sniffs Leah, (y/n) right beside him casting anxious glances between Leah and Irina. With the threat being neutralized, the others of the pack begin to take steps forward. All are hesitant to believe that Irina is actually unconscious. Her platinum blonde hair spills all around her head. Eyes closed.

"I'm fine."She cedes with a partial snarl. She wasn't concerned about herself. Not in a moment like this where everyone had access to her thoughts and memories now. Even though Irina is down, her adrenaline is still spiked. Instead she finds herself backing away from everyone. Doing her best to put a lockdown on her mind. But there was only so much she could do in retaliation.

Seth's gold eyes were rounded once the information from Leah's psyche seeps in. In the pack, nothing was private or sacred. "Leah, why didn't you tell me you imprinted?"He was hurt. He'd always proven to be his sister's number one advocate.

An issue to be addressed later. Sam circles around Irina, mentally snapping at Seth "Save it. We have bigger things."That couldn't be argued.

Edward reaches under Irina and easily lifts her up and addresses Sam "Your's or mine?"

"Your's. I don't want her anywhere near Emily."He resists the urge to growl toward the comatose vampire. His guard would not be lowered. Not if it potentially meant risking Emily's safety.

"I can't believe she's still asleep." Kate murmurs while sadly gazing down at her sister. With a loving hand, she smoothes down stray strands of her sleek and silky mane of hair, so pale and reflective that it almost appears to have a metallic sheen. It was only a matter of hours before the Denali coven showed up at the home. They gave the wolves a wide berth when they first arrived. Quite different from when they'd met you. Uncomfortable probably due to the fact that they were outnumbered and the members of the pack present preferred to stay in their fur around the Denalis.

Keeping a strict vigil on her was Dieufel. Making sure that Irina did not awaken before they deemed it appropriate. Tanya casts nervous eyes at him. Unnerved by his scent and presence. An oddity to the hermit-like vampires. He needed to monitor the spell that was cast on her at all times. Never before had it been used against an immortal. "She will only awaken when I give the command." Dark eyes clash against gold. While Dieufel could be a charmer, you noticed he had the ability to appear just as fierce. His accent seemed to come out more too.

He wanted the Denalis to know that he was not one to be messed with. The message was clear as Tanya flicks her gaze back to her sister frozen in place on the couch. "Thank you. She is. . . unpredictable right now and can't be trusted. This is for the best." Her throat constricts, choking her words with emotion. "I'm sorry we failed to keep her contained."

Esme speaks to Carmen in the corner along with Eleazar. It's Edward who poses the question to Tanya and a quiet Sam "Any ideas what to do with her?"

"We can't awaken her. That much is sure." Tanya admits.

You hear their conversation from the front foyer, waiting outside of the living room with Evita, Jacob and Leah. No one said a thing, especially Jacob and Leah who merely focus on their bare feet. At least the Cullens had offered them robes while they were there. How many other times have the Cullens lent clothes to your naked pack members? Your own was so soft that you kept pinching the fabric of the sleeve.

The matter of Irina didn't involve any of you. There'd be no point to stay but to listen in on the jurisdiction. Your feet refused to move despite your brain sending your leg muscles signals. Adrenaline still spiked in your veins. Even worse were the nerves that wracked through you from being with Jacob and Leah. Another wolf imprinting on a witch. The elders said that one of the theories of imprinting was that it chose the best mate for you that would give one strong offspring. This was starting to appear to be true from what you've noticed. You imprinted on Edward, a vampire gifted with a special ability; Jacob with Evita who had magic in her blood as did Dieufel. Any child from Evita or Dieufel would prove to be strong and have an advantage over anyone else. Whatever child you have with Edward-

You stop yourself right there when you realize the blush that was heating your face just from thinking about it. Too young to be thinking about having kids with someone you just started dating. There hadn't even been an actual date yet, not with all the chaos that was going on.

A warm hands beckons you. Evita is regarding you, worry plain on her face. "Are you tired? We should go back to Sam's. I'm sure they have everything handled in there. Dieufel doesn't require my assistance."

Catching Jacob's reaction to her voice in your peripheral, you bite the inside of your mouth. Leah imprinted on Dieufel, the young man in the next door room. Evita's friend. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"We can steal some of Dieufel's herbal smokes." She whispers to you in a conspiring manner, a devious grin to follow.

"Sure, I can hack up my other lung." Laughing in unison, you and Evita discreetly enter the sitting room causing eyes to descend on you. "Evita I are heading back. Unless you guys need anything else?"

Sam pulls away from the huddled group around the couch. "No, you guys can go. But before that, I need a quick word with (y/n)."

You nod, aware that it might have something to do with the imprinting mess that still awaited to be acknowledged. Sam leads you to the farthest wall of the living room though it would do little help with preventing the vampires from listening in. Thankfully Dieufel's attention is focused on Irina.

Your pack alpha leans closer to your ear "Can you keep an eye on Jacob and Leah? I feel bad asking this of you but I need to stay here." He sounds pained that he has to be present in case anything happened with Irina. "Dieufel will probably stay here with us just to monitor. That should make things easier for Leah, but Jake-"

Not wanting him to finish that thought, you touch his beefy bicep. "I know. If he wasn't privy to telling Bella though I doubt he'll be blurting it out to Evita." Jacob hadn't said a word to you since apprehending Irina. He was still mad at you which would make keeping him in line a bit tricky. He hadn't even so much as looked at you the entire time all four of you were waiting out in the hall. Did he really think you may blurt it out to Evita herself like you did with Bella? Sam instructed that it was best for the witches not to know about imprinting right now. There was too much to do. Too much at stake. A good outcome heavily relied on the witches.

Back out in the hallway, Evita was waiting patiently. You turn to the other two. "Sam wants you guys to go back with us. We're not really needed here."

Jacob and Leah exchange a glance. They would rather stay in the house of the bloodsuckers than return to La Push. Leah shifts against the wall. "Is that leech really out cold?"

"So far so good. Dieufel's spell seems to be working." You regret saying his name in front of Leah as you notice the slight flinch in her eyes. Immediately you see Leah's fortified wall of isolation go up. This must have been so hard for her to deal with. You didn't want to push for details, not from Leah. She wouldn't give them to you anyway. "Even if something happens with the spell, there's eight vampires in there alongside him. They won't let her get out."

"That's what we thought the first time." Ruefully hisses Leah. "Her own coven wasn't even able to stop her from escaping."

Evita bristles. "Dieufel's spell will not let you down. As long as he wills it, she will remain asleep." You hadn't seen this fiery expression on your new friend before. "His magic is strong."

Subtly, Jacob nudges Leah in the side with his elbow. They share another look of a silent argument being waged. Acceding, Leah takes a step back both physically and mentally as she murmurs out an apology which was enough to settle down Evita. She must have seen Dieufel as family considering how close the older boy had been to her sister Leti. The way Leah phrased her words must have come out as an insult in Evita's ears. Sometimes Leah didn't filter what she said. Doesn't think of the consequences that could from what she says. Her bluntness could be off putting but you and the pack were used to it by now. Evita was not. **

Atop of Washington's many ridged mountains stood Demetri and Felix.

While Jane may have been happing about the outcome of the newborn army uprising, Felix was not. He'd smelled something. . . off about the area they'd been standing in. Jane hadn't picked up on anything, excited as she was by the carnage of the destroyed newborns.

What the others in the small town of Forks and La Push didn't know was that Irina had already passed information onto the Volturi about something concerning that they should investigate. They'd come across Irina just as they entered the Washington state border.

"Do you think these are the same wolves that Caius ordered destroyed centuries ago?" Felix asks his companion.

"We'll find out soon enough."

TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch​  , @dangerouslittlefairy​ , @burn-crash-rqmance​ , @casedoina , @avadakadabra93 , @daryldixonstorm , @blue-aconite​ , @xanniestired666 , @esposadomd​, @godinho11​ , @alexizodd​ , @melaninsugarbaby​ , @lyeatoalinatoheaven , @ronwownsme​ , @itsmytimetoodream​ , @afro-hispwriter​ , @mutandis-extremis993 , @hxgemxscles​ , @nightly-polaris​ , @corrodedcoffins-slut , @ellesalazar​ , @itgetzweird08​ , @crybabyatthediscooffandoms​ , @sassyandclassyx​ , @scarlet2007​ , @theroyalbrownbarbie​ , @jennyamanda8​ , @stevenandmarcslove​ , @biancaindaeyo​ , @loversjoy​ , @turningtoclown​ , @vixorell​ , @xxthackerybinxxx , @daredevilonmyheels​ , @dumbbitch-juicee​ , @southern-bell-give-hell , @nat-the-gemini , @imdoingathingmom​ , @emmettcullenswife , @yoong1c0re , @daddykylokenobi​ , @minjix​ , @magical-spit​ , @krismdavis​ , @arin-swear-rose

[connorswhisk]

Here’s your excuse to write anything to do with Desmond 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

THANK YOUUUUU FOR THE ENABLING🫡🫡💍

as the grave (desmond hume x gender neutral reader)

gif by oitime

also on my ao3!

You caught him hard by the arch of his wrist, effectively stopping him in his tracks. You had meant to be more gentle, and he looked at you, disgruntled, your fingertips pressing hard into the skin of his forearm. "Y/N? What is it?"

"You can't leave yet," you told him, and then you weren't sure what to say next.

Desmond shook his head, dark brows drawn together. "Sayid's waiting for me. The helicopter's waiting for me. I have to go."

"I know," you said quickly, even though the reminder pierced straight through the thick walls of your fragile breastbone. "I know you have to find out who's on that boat. I know you have to - to go back to Penny." You swallowed, hard, not meeting his eyes. "But I - I just need to tell you something first."

Somewhere in a nearby tree, a songbird tittered. "What is it?" Desmond asked, as if it were that simple a question.

"I'm in love with you," you answered anyway, and you forced yourself to match his widened gaze. "It's stupid, I know. But it's the truth." You felt the crest of the bridge of your nose begin to burn, blotchy, bashful. "I love you, Des. I'm sorry."

The horrible silence that followed probably only lasted all of ten seconds, but they felt as if they stretched out as far as ten years. "Why?" he managed after a moment, voice sounding slightly strangled, slightly precarious, on an edge. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I can't shake the feeling we'll never see each other again." You tried your best to keep the bitterness out of your tone. "And once you find her again, you'll be happy. And you won't need me anymore."

"That's not fair," he said sharply. He finally wrenched his wrist free from your loose hold, only to bring his hand up to rest heavily on your shoulder. "You're my closest friend, Y/N, I wouldn't just forget about you like that. I wouldn't do that to you."

You squeezed your eyelids closed, hoping to will away the mounting tidal wave of tears that soon seemed imminent. "But she's your soulmate," you said, and it croaked out in a sort of hoarse little whisper. "And I'm so sorry, Des, but I don't think I could watch the two of you love one another and not have it break my heart."

His fingers twitched against your shoulder, a motion that appeared both knee-jerk and interrupted. "I don't know what it is you want me to say here," he said, and you loathed the pitiful sympathy that crept into his voice. "You can't ask me to leave Penny. I won't do that."

And the tears did break then, and you tore yourself away from him, backing out of his touch. "I'm not," you sobbed. "I would never ask you to - I don't expect anything from you, all right, Desmond?!" Quite suddenly you were more furious than you were dejected, and you knew you couldn't rein your emotions in even if you wanted to. "I don't need you to love me back. I don't need you to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of mine." You shook your head, the lump in your throat nearly obstructing your airway completely. "I just needed you to know," you muttered, running your fingers throughout your hair. "I just, I just needed to tell you the truth."

That horrible silence returned, but maybe it was really more sad this time around. "It's not that I don't feel the same," he said, soft as the grave, and you felt your world tilt violently on its axis.

"What?" The word sounded like you had spoken it underwater - fuzzy, distant. Dreamlike.

He took a few careful steps toward you again, and you didn't move away. "It's been killing me," said Desmond, and you could tell he entirely meant it. "Killing me knowing she's waiting for me and still wanting you here. When I met Penny, I thought - I knew - there would never be anyone else." Another step in your direction, another careful beat. "And then you - the first time I ever saw you it was like someone had flipped a switch in my brain. Someone pushed a bloody doomsday button - " He scoffed out a single, scornful self-deprecating laugh. " - and the more I got to know you, the more apparent it became that I - that there was something between us too, something real."

"Did you know how I felt for you?" you demanded - you needed to hear it. "Did you - Did you know - "

"...Yes," he admitted. "Did you know about me?"

You shook your head, your eyes like glass, nostrils stuffed. "No. I had no idea."

You really hadn't. Because how would he ever - how could he ever - 

"I love you," Desmond said, his voice breaking on the word. "Y/N. I don't know why, but I love you too."

And he cupped your face between his strong, rough hands, and kissed the salt from off your lips. You kissed him back, the terrible and betraying excitement of lust stirring within your gut - you couldn't go too far, because if you went too far, you knew you would never be able to stop. So you did stop and you forced yourself to bury your face in the sweaty hollow of Desmond's throat instead, nosing at his jugular and panting hard with your palms flattened to his chest, wanting and wanting to pull yourself ever the more impossibly closer.

His arms wrapped themselves firmly 'round your body. He tucked you further into him, his nose pressing into the top of your hair as he brushed his lips across your forehead, inhaling deep.

He held you. It felt like forever. It felt like a handful of sparse seconds. He held you, and it felt like the very end of the entire world.

Until it didn't. "I have to go," he said, reluctantly leaning away. "I have to go..."

You nodded. Swallowed for what felt like the millionth time in the past hour. "I know. I know you do."

He looked at you, helpless. Maybe even pleading. "Can I kiss you?" he asked hesitantly. "One last time, I mean?"

It'd be easy. It'd be lovely for both of you. It'd probably kill you once and for all.

"No," you said, closing your eyes tight a second go around. "No, Des. Just leave."

On the backs of your lids, you saw all the times you loved him - every moment shared, every smile returned, every sentence uttered. You felt his hand in yours. You smelled the whiskey and the wistfulness on his breath.

When you opened your eyes next, he was gone.

[itsscromp]

Team initiation

Hey again everyone, Like I said in the previous post. This story will indicate a soft reboot of the first rocket story I have done. I really want to focus on the bond between the reader and Rocket. so without further ado, let's dive in :D. Word count:1.4K

It was hell right from the start, One simple bike ride home when you were 10 years old resulted you in getting kidnapped into space. Sold onto the black market and just tossed into a massively unknown world. Nevertheless, for 13 years you adapted and escaped for a life of your own on the colony of Knowhere. But apart of you yearned for a since of belonging, Friendship, family...

But all that changed one day when you were running away from Nova Corp, You stole some food and tech to feed on and sell for credits. But as you were running, you bumped into someone making you trip.

"Woah woah easy, you ok bud ??" The man then helped you up, He was... Human ??

"Spread out, they haven't got far" One Nova Corps officer called out.

The man then brought you away from the nova corps into a part of knowhere they wouldn't usually poke around.

"Wanna explain what that was all about ??" The man asked you as he fixed his jacket.

"It's not much its just food... and some stuff to sell..."

"Look theirs's more to this story pal, so I suggest you best start talking."

You rubbed your hands on your face sheepishly as you began to tell your story to the man. As he listened on, he couldn't help but feel pity and sympathy for you.

"I'm so sorry. I know this all too well, I was kidnapped from earth when I was 8 years old, If theirs anyone who knows this better than you it's me."

"Thank you... Sorry I didn't get your name"

"Oh sorry, Name's Peter Quill or you may know me as star lord ??" He puffed his chest out slightly.

"No... Sorry"

"Oh man, not even one mention ??"

You shook your head slightly. He said disappointedly, this always happens to him. "What's your name kid ??"

"Y/n, Y/n L/n"

"Nice to meet you y/n..." Peter than got a brilliant idea.

"Say y/n, how would you like to be a member of the guardians of the galaxy ??"

Your eyes went wide at the proposal.

"Oh, peter... I don't know..." You seemed a little unsure.

"What ??, It's gonna be awesome. We're a tight-knit family, even though we aren't blood-related. we always have each other's backs and I know you will make an amazing guardian." He smiled as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

You couldn't help but smile back. A new life, with amazing people. Maybe he was right, It could be worth while.

"Ok, I'll give it a shot"

"Oh y/n your gonna love it !!"

Peter then brought you back to the Milano, It was a pretty cool ship, You could hear music playing from the speakers of the ship.

"Redbone ??"

"Yeah, Surprise you have music taste dude." He smirked playfully ruffling your hair.

You chuckled as you then pulled out a device. Your dad's ipod.

"This was all from my dad..., this is pretty much all I have of him"

Peter's expression softened as he gently rubbed your back.

"I'm really and truly sorry y/n" He gently wrapped his arms around you into a hug, warm and comforting. Making you feel safe.

"Uh, quill who's the stowaway ??" A voice spoke up, almost in a Brooklyn accent.

"Oh right, y/n this is rocket"

You looked over and saw a walking talking raccoon.

"Your... a raccoon ??"

"Hey, I ain't no flarking raccoon !!!, Ain't no thing like me 'cept me !!" He sort of angrily yelled.

"Don't worry about him, But I would say I would advise calling him that again in the future."

"Noted"

"Alright, well rocket. y/n is our newest member of the guardians."

"Oh great another humie" Rocket rolled his eyes.

You wondered if he didn't like you, but Quill told you that he just had a bit of a snappy attitude. Upon letting you meet Groot, Drax and Gamora, he showed you your room.

"Well, here we have your room. It may not look like much right now but you make it yours alright ??"

You nodded as you looked around, sitting down on the bed.

He smiled and left you alone, this felt good. A new home and potential new friends. It was gonna be awesome.

Over the next few weeks, you continued to get to know everyone, Groot and Peter were the best ones of the lot. But you noticed Rocket was closed off and still a bit of a dick to you. It made you a bit sad as like he didn't want to know you at all.

But one day, all of that changed, Peter noticed how distant Rocket was from you and decided to change that. He knew you two would be best buds, He just knew it. So one day, he set up a mission for the two of you.

"Ok Rocket, y/n. I need you two to head out to Pazar and protect and stop abilisks from getting into their power supply. They said they'll pay us good if we stop the deal."

"Got it" You confidently smiled.

Meanwhile, Rocket grumbled and rolled his eyes. It looked like he wasn't too pleased with the idea. But never the less he pulled through, The two of you arrived at Pazar and prepared for the ongoing attack.

"What's our game plan here dude ??"

"We lay these traps out for when they arrive, and once they trip on them we go in for the kill to stop them." Rocket smirked as he then began to set up the traps.

"Maybe this could help too ??" You then pulled out a few devices.

"What are these ??"

"Wireless electric tripwires." You confidently said as you showed him.

Rocket inspected your device, No manufacturer numbers, no serial numbers. Was this custom-made??

"You make these humie ??"

"Yeah, I've been making a fair bit of those when I was 14."

"This ain't that bad. Could work"

The two then heard roaring and readied up as 3 abilisks showed up and then readied up, Gearing your weapons as you two then fought the monsters from eating the power supply. It was a long tough battle. But then rocket's aero rig malfunctioned and left him wide open to be eaten. But as he was backing away. He was pushed out of the way and saw you get eaten.

"Y/N !!!"

He continued blasting it until he killed it. But you... All those things he said to you. He didn't mean any of them, he wished he could say sorry.

But before he left he heard a noise, coming from the beast's belly. It blasted open as you then crawled out. Covered in yellow gunk.

"Oh, that was so gross..." You said in disgust.

"Y/n..." Rocket was relieved to see you alive. "Don't go doing anything stupid like that !!!" He said more in a fearful voice than an angry one.

"Rocket you were going to die, I wasn't going to let you."

At that moment, Rocket realised how deep your loyalty was to all the guardians. It made him realise that you were willing to sacrifice your life for his. This made him regret shutting you out.

"Y/n... I... I'm sorry for what I said to you, For everything... The thing is... I was scared"

"Why were you scared ??"

"I had a lot of bad things happen in my life, It makes me scared of people."

It took a little bit but you clicked everything once you figured it out, You gently went over and kneeled to his height, His ears drooped and his eyes showing so much guilt for hurting you.

"Rocket... I promise you in my life. With my life, I will never hurt you. I would hate myself If I ever did something like that, You're my friend. Family to be exact."

Rocket looked down for a bit and then wrapped his arms around your neck, hugging you. Not caring you were covered in the monster's insides. "Can we start over ??"

"Of course" You smiled

Rocket softly smiled as he then let go of the hug. Then smirking.

"Come on, let's head back. We need a shower, you mainly." He snickered

"Yeah, Let's go" You chuckled as you got up and headed back to the ship.

It was a rocky start from the beginning, But what happened then was now going to be the start of an amazing friendship.

Taglist: @callofdudes @raccoonfallsharder @mybelovedraccoon @rogertaylorswift @rocketenjoyer

[topazadine]

Hair loss creates greater emotional distress and self-esteem issues in women than men, yet you'd never know it from looking at media.

We're constantly blasted with ads for Rogaine, Keeps, Hims, all these messages about how men don't need to lose their hair. Get hair plugs! Look at this former football player with a full head of hair now. It's for self-care!

Yet, there's also the same reassuring messages to men (and men only) that if they choose to go completely bald, that's okay! They'll still be manly and tough! We have so many cool guys who are bald!

And ... what about women? Yes, Rogaine and Keeps make products for women (which are the exact same formulation btw, just Pink), but when do you see advertisements for it? When do you hear people discussing female alopecia other than in a pitying "aww that's so sad" way without offering real advice?

Women's hair is more tightly regulated than men's. Healthy, thick hair is a point of pride; we're advertised all sorts of things to keep it that way, told all sorts of things about what it means to trim your hair by even an inch. Hair, whether on your head, face, or body, is a signal of how well you're performing feminity (or if you're refusing to play).

No one gives a shit if a man plucks his eyebrows; no one would even notice. If a woman plucks her eyebrows, it must mean something. No one cares if a man chooses to shave his leg hair or keeps a furry pelt; either choice is valid. Women have one choice and one only if they want to play the game.

Too much body hair? No man would want you.

No body hair? You're pandering to men.

Hair too short? No man would want you.

Hair too long? You must be high maintenance!

Hair brightly colored? Liberal snowflake freak!

Hair a natural color? Blondes are dumb sluts, everyone knows that.

Hair too thick? What are you, a cave woman?

Hair too thin? Eww, take care of yourself, what's wrong with you?

God forbid you shave it all off to help stimulate hair growth, or because you have no choice. You're either a cancer patient or crazy. The pitying "there-there" looks I've gotten since buzzing my hair are driving me to madness. No one would do that to a man.

Or it's assumed that this is some political statement, that I'm advertising an identity. No, I'm removing my damaged hair so I stop looking like a shedding animal.

It's so frustrating that women are left behind and ignored in every single way, for every single condition, whether benign or serious. Yes, hair loss isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's frustrating. It's depressing. It's embarrassing.

I don't want to wear a hat or a wig! I want my condition to be treated with the same respect and sympathy as it would be for men. I want the same support, the same options, the same discussions of how to live with thinning hair.

But of course that's too much to ask. I'm a silly little lady woman girl and maybe I'd feel better if I went back in the kitchen and made some sandwiches.