#i don't want to remember
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did.. he wear a suit for stan's birthday?
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#i'm prolly like the last person on earth to notice this#south park#butters stotch#stan marsh#if it was mentioned in the episode i wouldnt remember#i don't want to remember#this episode makes me horribly sad and i will be inconsolable for days on end#the irrevocable despair that episode bestows me could make frankenstein weep
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what does it mean when you remember things about a person more and more as time goes on
#normally the more time passes the more i tend to forget#and this gives me an uncomfortable feeling#i don't want to remember
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Untitled
Often times I wish to be comatose, left lost in the realm of unconsciousness exploring fantastical dreams.
So that one day when I wake it won't be to a world of violence and unnecessary pain but to warmth and the soft calling of my name.
No more lingering touches or a cacophony of screams,
No more hearts on crutches or long sleeves,
No more crying myself to sleep or faking a smile so that no one sees;
The moments where I'm not all there, when I feel disgusting, where it's hard to breathe, the sudden breakdowns with silent pleas.
But, dreams are far better than reality so once again I'll drift off to sleep.
-Danniella
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it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.
i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.
the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.
they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?
but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.
so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.
the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.
the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."
the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.
#i bring up tsarnev only bc i feel like people DID want blood. i lived in boston. people wanted to rip him apart.#i do not personally remember a moment where he was paraded around like that. and the fact we gave more dignity to him#than luigi .... is startling.#and i just realized last night i was like - i don't really remember a perp walk like that. maybe im misremembering#but i went to google and i was like. wait why the fuck was it so fucking big.#it WASNT a random act of terror. it WASNT to injure/kill as many as possible.#even if we consider it to be premeditated murder: when have we ever done this.#so brandy's life didnt deserve “a show of force?”#the mayor doesn't say ''our city wont stand for this'' when it's a planned murder for insurance money????#anyway . ur not immune etc etc etc#but i also wanted the comparisons in here in case ppl aren't from amercia etc#this ISNT normal or usual. this was overkill by like a million#on the other hand they gotta do this bc they're scared :)#i kept this bc i had ppl ask me not to delete this but i just felt like#it wasn't really poetry just talkin
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>Join a union
>Hear people constantly complaining that the current union leadership is super corrupt, it's all just the same ten guys making all the decisions in secret and nobody else in the union ever gets to know what's going on
>Go to the monthly union meetings that are completely open to all 1200 union members
>The only attendees are the same ten guys every month, giving detailed reports about everything that's going on
#anyway this is why i'm the way i am about politics and people who advocate against 'participating in the system'#i am on my way to becoming one of the ten guys and frankly? it's fucking exhausting#i chatted with the union president afterwards and he got this haunted look in his eye#and was like 'i'm glad to see you getting involved but remember you can say no. you can always say no.#don't let anyone bully you into doing more than you want to. make time for yourself. YOU CAN SAY NO.'#which was good and much appreciated advice! but also. ominous
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I miss the era of the internet where everyone had an evil alter ego/character that would show up on their channel, just to be silly, that eventually got a lot of lore from the fandom for no reason. It was a simpler time.
#it was NOT cringe it was FUN and SILLY#like off the top of my head#markiplier#darkiplier#wilford warfstache#jacksepticeye#antisepticeye#stampylongnose#hit the target#(not an alter ego but still fills the role. I was obsessed with spotting him in lovely world as a child)#uuuh I remember a bunch of the old mlp youtubers I watched as a child did this but I DON'T want to see what they're up to now lmao#does like. early sandersides count for this?#back when anxiety/virgil was a meanie?#xisuma#evil xisuma#evil x#i can't forget him for sure. I may not watch xisuma but i know of evil x#I know there were definitely more and i would love to see what people tag#but it was so fun!#they had fun with it!!#I'm just feeling nostalgic#welsknight#helsknight#ill add ones as people tag em lol
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My parents were super right-wing long before 9/11 so not a lot changed for us, but man, I remember how for literal years the attacks became our entire national personality and were used to justify all kinds of horseshit. If you want to know what the "Again" in MAGA refers to, it's referring to the period from 9/11/2001 to probably around 2015 2005 or so, when you could get anything through Congress by branding it as a security measure. Republicans and other nationalists used the trauma and panic to give their agendas complete immunity and they're just dying to get another taste of that power.
Post 9/11 Trivia
Most folks on this site were either children on September 11, 2001, or weren’t even born yet. But America went crazy for about a year afterwards. Here’s some highlights that I remember that might not be in your history books:
There was national discussion on whether or not Halloween should be canceled because…fuck if I know why. After planes crashed into buildings in NYC it follows that 6-year-olds in Iowa shouldn’t be allowed to dress up like Batman and ask their neighbors for candy, I guess. (Halloween wasn’t canceled, by the way.)
On a similar note, people asked if comedy - any sort of comedy - was appropriate anymore, ever.
People sold shitty parachutes to suckers “in case your building gets attacked and you have to jump out the window.” There were honest-to-God news reports warning people not to jump out of the window with shitty mail-order parachutes because they wouldn't work.
As a follow-up to the attacks, someone mailed anthrax to some prominent politicians and news anchors - you know, famous people - along with some badly-written notes about “you cannot stop us, death to America, Allah is good” and after that every time some random dumbass found a package in the mail they didn’t recognize they thought that the terrorists were targeting them, too.
Everyone was similarly convinced that their town was going to be the next target, even if they were a little town in the middle of nowhere. "Our town of Bumblefuck, South Dakota (population 690) has the largest styrofoam pig statue west of the Mississippi! Terrorists might fly planes into that too! It's a prime target!"
People started taping up their windows and trying to make their houses or apartments airtight out of fear of chemical and biological attacks. There were news reports warning people that turning your house into an airtight box was a bad idea because, y'know, you need air to breathe.
"[X] supports terrorism!" and “if we do [X], the terrorists win!” were used as arguments for everything. "Some rich Arab you never heard of donated to his organization that backs Hamas which backs al-Queda, and also owns stock in a holding company that has partial ownership of the Pringles company, so if you eat Pringles you're supporting terrorism!" "The terrorists want to tear down our freedoms and our way of life and rule us through fear! Eating what you want is one of our freedoms as Americans! If you're afraid to eat Pringles, the terrorists win!" (I promise you that this sort of argument is in no way hyperbole.) (This argument is how Halloween was saved, by the way. “If we cancel Halloween, the terrorists win!”)
People worked 9/11 into everything, and I mean everything, whether it was appropriate or not. If you went to the grocery store the tortilla chips would remind you to support the troops on the packaging. Used car sales would be dedicated to our brave first responders. You couldn't wipe your ass without the toilet paper rolls reminding you to never forget the fallen of 9/11, and again, this is not hyperbole. My uncle, who lived in Ohio and had never been to New York except to visit once in the 70′s, died of a stroke about 8 months after 9/11, and the priest brought up the attacks at the eulogy.
On a similar local note, on the day of 9/11, after the towers went down, gas stations in my home town immediately jacked up gas prices. The mayor had the cops go around and force them to take them back down. I doubt any of that was legal.
Before 9/11, Christianity in America - and religion in general - was on a downward swing, with reddit-tier atheism on the upswing. Religion was outdated superstition from a bygone age. The day after 9/11? Every single church was PACKED.
Besides dumb shit like that…it’s really hard to overstate how completely the national mood and character changed in the span of a day, or how much of the current culture war is a result of the aftermath. (9/11 was the impetus for the sharp rise in power of the Evangelical Right, who made themselves utterly odious and the following backlash helped the rise of the current Progressive Left, for instance.)
#im so relieved i forgot about 9/11 thos year#'patriot day' its so goddam stupid#i saw the news reports in real time#it sucked#i don't want to remember#what the hell kind of country builds its self image out of martyrdom anyway
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Write what you know?
Putting myself back in the headspace of being an eight-year-old girl is giving me mild nausea
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bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word
I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.
(I'm sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?)#(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay)#long post#tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then#anyway once again i'm sorry#i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone#i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks.#hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper#because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.
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I'm no good at doing things I like, or things that benefit me.
And when I do them, I don't feel all that great.
Maybe I can try again tomorrow
Tomorrow won't have the same opportunities as today.
It disappoints me.
#cheeseburgerboy#when can i relax. when i do feel safe or comfortable#i just want that moment#i don't want to remember#i just want to feel calm
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ah up late replacing violent memories with violent fantasies
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I dreamt I had what I've always wanted. Which was incredible in the moment. It was a joyful dream filled with something I've desired my entire life. But then I awoke and there was nothing. I was back to the world where it is nothing but a lifelong unfulfilled desire. Those are the toughest dreams to come back from; I'd much rather stay there with a hollow fantasy than return to a solid emptiness.
#it felt like a movie#I used to write my dreams down to help me remember them#because they're incredibly vivid and lifelike#but I don't write these ones down#because as amazing as it was#i don't want to remember#because it wasn't real
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kinda sketchy
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Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan xichen#lan wangji#madam lan#This normally would have been two separate comics but I felt like it was a far better joke to have them together.#Enjoy the rare double feature comic!#I was listening to this episode - scripting out and preparing for a longer and heartfelt comic on this scene.#And then Lan Xichen pulled out his flute and started playing unprompted.#I could not contain my laughter. I know it is trying to be emotionally resonate and the flute is pretty but...#It really does have the energy of “Okay thanks for listening to my tragedies and traumas. I don't know how to segue out of this.”#This madam lan design is inspired by Qourmet's design! Really good stuff that I was not able to do more with in this one panel.#Speaking of...I know it is ambiguous on purpose and we are only told what happened through LXC's POV but...#I always interpreted madam lan's passing as a suicide. I think LXC was told it was illness to soften the blow.#She was stuck in a house with maybe a servant coming by to give her food. One day a month she saw her children.#Of course she was warm and loving in their memories-#She was trying to give them a version of her that would be remembered as such. She wanted to protect them from the truth.#She did her best but she was already dead a long time ago. She must have felt like a ghost haunting a house.#Love to her was waiting. And both her boys inherited that view of love.
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drawings from paleo expedition to dagestan, done right on the trip. sometimes messy when it was cold and rainy, but i won't correct it. i think it's cool to leave it just the way it was done, and not retouch it after. there will be more drawings later, but those will be done from home
#i need to draw for 2 museums at least to then send it to them as a gift cuz people there were so nice???? AAAA#and yeah im definitely doing back#maybe in autumn... who knows#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#and#paleoart#???#in a way it is i guess#also i usually don't share things from my sketchbook. but these drawings hold so many nice memories#of clouds that hide top of the mountains#of sitting on a rock#drawing and seeing a scorpion vibing next to u (tiny friend!)#of leaning on a big cow and almost falling asleep on a field with her after the rain#of... forgetting the pain too#of not wanting to even talk about the wonderful time i've had. because it was only for me to remember#so much happened up in the mountains that i'll never forget#thank u big rocks and soil and grass and apricot trees i love you#...#paleoland#fieldbook_barghest_land
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old sedusas :3
#sedusa#ppg#powerpuff girls#ima goodlady#i actually don't even remember if it was her or if it was angewomon who was my first cartoon crush#i wanted to be her so bad LOL#anyway i hope she's in the upcoming re-reboot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if that's still a thing???? :((((#my art
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