#i don't want to feel invisible anymore
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hellpupp · 1 year ago
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Big Sad
#kicks dirt#idk how many times i can openly ask for what i need & just. not get it. before i've just gotta Stop bc it starts feeling pathetic#and potentially even bordering on emotionally manipulative.#debating the Morality of even tag-venting on my own blog bc i don't want anyone to assume this is targeted#i just feel Deeply Lonely and like i have absolutely nothing going on in my life except work#and just lowkey like.... Unseen.#sometimes i try So Fucking Hard to have a conversation with people only to have 100% of what i say completely ignored me#* in favor of a random meme.#it starts to fuck with you after a while! makes you feel Uninteresting and Foolish and Annoying#idk.#i mean i also ran out of my (Extremely Rough Withdrawal) SNRI last week so like. that isn't helping.#but it's more than that. i've been feeling like this for a while.#it just. really sucks when you move & have no irl friends. no energy to make any new ones.#and all of your long distance friends have A Lot of shit on their plates so you feel shitty and inconsiderate for even thinking of asking#for. well Anything really. let alone some of their extremely limited time & energy & attention.#like who tf am i to ask anyone#let alone people who are all Very busy and struggling w/ their own shit#for their undivided attention for a chunk of time they could be using to take care of themselves#i don't want to feel invisible anymore#but i also don't want to be a drain on the people i care about#i hate Needing things#i wish the depth of my love and devotion to the people i've chosen to care for was fulfilling enough on its own#so i'd never need to ask for things#having emotional needs is like. sooo gross & selfish of me tbh. :/' go the fuck to therapy holy shit u would Never say this abt Anyone else#anyway. watch me delete this in 5 seconds bc the need to be seen & the mortification of being Perceived can & do coexist#χ.txt
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mako-island-moon-pool · 1 year ago
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barkingangelbaby · 6 months ago
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venting so much i ran out of tags lmao
#i think im hallucinating ?????#i have my headphones on (listening to boyfeel on repeat n choppin up some paper)#and keep feeling / seeing shadows in my peripheral vision#im probably just dehydrated and having bad floaters but i dont like it :)#today has also been bad dramatically awful#life isn't serious there's no reason to feel this heavy#oop very emo thoughts incoming#life can't be meaningful or ill miss my parents too much but can't be meaningless or im living without them for nothing#im just. struggling very hard this year. idk#i had so much health bullshit going on for months that i put off going to a psych n now im so busy that it feels bad taking time off for it#and im also scared of getting on meds bc the idea of being dependent on something that i might not have access to is.. auuughhh#idk dude my adhd has been debilitating lately and i feel so stuck and sometimes i think i have ocd bc my compulsions are so fucking bad and#all my mental bullshit with my breathing has slowly been driving me wild and peaks my anxiety#and sometimes i worry abt being bipolar bc my mom's mom is and my mom's best friend told me she thought my mom might have been#bc the way my moods are so low or so high is exhausting it feels like i haven't had a “normal” day in so long#but also atp when im happy i feel manic bc idk how to healthily experience happiness anymore#idfk y'all !!!! im also very nonverbal these days#ugh and still going back n forth on telling my therapist ive been suicidal again bc i dont want him to have to report me or anything idk#a few months ago i made a joke about offing myself and he got rly serious n said he'd have to take action if im serious so im leaning no#like. i wouldnt actually kill myself. i just don't want to exist sometimes in this life#its just been very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard lately without my parents or grandma#and even after all these years it's still heartwrenching to think about continuing to live this life without them#like. i just want to make them laugh. i just want to feel their arms around me in a warm hug. i just want to dance to their favorite songs.#i don't want to think of them and see their dead bodies anymore. i want to remember them healthy and smiling.#i would take care of them again in every lifetime but fuck dude. i just want to remember their good days instead of the end. can i please#please fucking invision them at their best. i want to remember the dad that played baseball and video games and whose laugh filled the room#i want to remember my grandma who was so sassy but kind. whose button nose crinkled when she smiled. who taught me to happily be dramatic#i don't want to remember them being frail. i want to forget the frustration i saw in their eyes. i want to forget seeing them struggle#(insert sadness about not remembering my mom at all)#just. fuck dude. my life is simple and i am safe so i shouldn't complain. but things feel so fucking hard sometimes. i feel so heartbroken
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rosesandthorns44 · 1 year ago
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I have shit I have to do today, and I'm not doing it. I don't have the mental or physical energy for it. .
My car has been showing 15% oil life for like a week. It's almost out of gas too.
My car also needs a smog check.
I need to go pick up prescriptions.
I need to get more cat litter.
My laundry pile is almost as tall as me.
I get so angry with myself for not running errands on my days off in recent months. I wish I had someone who could help me with this stuff, but I don't. I don't have anyone who I feel comfortable asking for help with these kinds of tasks.
I'm not going to call my mom or my friends and ask them to get my car maintenanced for me or take me to the store. None of us even live in the same towns as each other nowadays.
My roommate has too much on her plate already without me piling more on.
I just feel stuck. Like I'm drowning.
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catcatb0y · 2 years ago
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Is it so bad?
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alexis-royce · 1 year ago
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I can see some folks in the notes going "Oh no, I don't recognize this or that genre, I guess I'm not sicko enough to call myself a horror fan yet 😔"
And no no no! Kill this fan culture that demands you have a doctorate in your favorite subject before you're allowed to call yourself a fan! As you can see here, Horror is an exceptionally varied genre, and that's due in large part to how accessible it is! Anyone with a camera, a few free weekends, and the imagination to say "Hey, wouldn't it be fucked up if [blank]" can make a Z-Budget romp!
Whether you've seen a handful of classics, or hyperfixate on one franchise, or enjoy a scattershot clutch of films, you're a fan of the stuff that YOU enjoy, and that is the only prerequisite to calling yourself a fan.
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beachgoth1997 · 1 year ago
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...
i'm having like little flashbacks to pretty much anything that has icked me this past year and idk what my brain is trying to tell me or accomplish other than making me kind of sad
like i guess i need to make some changes ???? or maybe change is on the horizon and i need to remember what to avoid
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singmyaubade · 2 months ago
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Good Luck Babe
poly!marauders x nerd!female!reader
summary: after being a wallflower throughout your first five years at hogwarts, you always thought that you could be invisible. but when you hear the marauders talking cruelly about you and proceeding to ask for your forgiveness after, well good luck babe.
warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing, reader wants to kill the marauders , swearing, unprotected sex, praise, oral (male receiving), jealousy
a/n: oh hey... this is kinda based on those cliche 2000's movies where the girl is ugly but not really and she has that glow up or whatever. this was written so quick and not proofread, don't kill me. i hope you enjoy and as always, i apologize if you hate this!
STARTING off your sixth year at Hogwarts being an entirely new person wasn't something that you had planned or expected.
On the inside, you felt exactly the same, the same girl who was bold and could ferociously win a fight when it came to her character.
The same girl who was witty and sarcastic, surprising half of the people around you when you made a joke once in a lifetime.
But on the outside, you didn't have an awkward mis-shaped bob and you no longer wore baggy jackets that didn't do a thing for your figure.
And you didn't hide your face anymore, trying your best to be invisible.
It wasn't that you were shy or that you felt like a loser but you thought social hierarchy was bullshit and the only thing you wanted to focus on was your studies.
You may have been a brave Gryffindor on the inside but on the outside, you had to play the part of a shy mouse as corny as that sounds.
Unfortunately for you, invisibility only tends to last for so long until one moment, you are a nobody and then all eyes are upon you.
And maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't heard the Marauders discussing you the previous year, you would have stayed the same.
You had passed by the boys dormitory to give Remus his textbooks back as you always did when you let you borrow when you heard them speaking of the very person behind the door,
"I still have yet to understand why Lily and the rest of them act like she's some charity case," James huffed, "I mean, she's not some sick patient, they only feel the need to pity her because of how she looks."
You always knew that James had a foul mouth but to be speaking about someone like this, it was cruel.
Remus hissed, "That's not nice Prongs,"
"I'm not even saying it to be a dick!" James groaned, "I just mean, I pity her more for the fact that they don't even invite her to anything outside of breakfast and dinner," He explained, causing Remus to go silent.
Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "That's absolutely horrid."
James reclined on his bed, a smirk playing on his lips. "I’m just saying, if I were Y/N, I’d be mortified."
Your eyes widened as they began to water, they were speaking about you.
Remus leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Maybe she just doesn’t want to hang out with Lily and the others."
"Moony, seriously," James shot back, sitting up. "Where is Y/N right now, and where are the other girls?" His eyebrow cocked, trying to make his point as Remus silenced.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Why don’t we investigate for ourselves?" He unfolded the Marauder's Map with a flourish. "Alright, we’ve got Lily, Dorcas, Mary, and Marlene all at Hogsmeade, but Y/N is..." His voice trailed off, eyes narrowing.
James leaned closer, annoyance creeping into his tone as he grabbed the map, "She's-" He stopped, the color fading from his face.
"Fucking spit it out!" Remus said next as he snatched the map finally and saw that the map had shown that you were right outside their door.
"Shit!" You heard Remus say as he started making his way to the door.
Hearing his footsteps approaching, you quickly moved away from the door, bolting for your room.
Once you made it back to your dorm, you had sinked the floor. You put your hand on your mouth, muffling yourself as you cried silently.
You honestly hated to even say it but you did consider Lily and the rest of them your friends. You had never really thought about how they didn't invite you to places.
And if you were being truthful, they had never asked you to have breakfast or dinner with them.
You had always just assumed that you could join but they never told you to leave or swooshed you off. Another part of you hated how stupid you were, trying to intrude on their private time.
You didn't want to let it get to you what a bunch of seventeen year old boys were saying but it did sting horribly.
But in a way, it also motivated you to be who you were on the inside. You already had the top marks in your entire year and your plan to work in the Ministry after Hogwarts had already been set.
And now your chance to be something at Hogwarts was right in front of you, an opportunity that you couldn't miss.
You had to do it for yourself.
The Marauders had no idea who you truly were or even cared to know. And although Remus was kind to you, you could always see that he never made any effort to be your friend.
Not that you expected him to but it only taught you that they truly thought you were some hopeless case.
And an assignment to make the Marauders bite their tongues was one that you couldn't bare to fail.
After hearing that, you decided to avoid the Marauders for the next month, especially with summer break approaching. To your surprise, you barely saw them outside of classes, never giving them a chance to reach out—even Remus.
And then that summer, everything changed. You let your hair grow past your shoulders, embracing your natural curls instead of straightening them. You started wearing clothes that were trendy and form-fitting, a huge contrast to your old style.
You discovered a newfound love for self-care, enjoying the process far more than you expected. Each day felt like a transformation, and by the end of summer, your mother couldn’t help but notice. “Finally listening to me about your style, huh?” she teased.
You only laughed as you embraced her,
If only she knew what had caused it in the first place.
As you said goodbye to your family, anticipation mingled with dread. You knew the train ride would be the least of your worries, but the welcome dinner and the ceremony ahead felt like they might just be hell reincarnate.
As you entered Hogwarts, you admired it as much as you did when you were a first year. The castle was something you considered a second home and everything about it was magical, there was no doubting that.
A crowd of students, including yourself, moved toward the Great Hall, and you settled into your usual seat at the Gryffindor table.
You spotted the Marauders and the usual group of girls approaching, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. They took their usual spots in front of you, with the girls on one side and the boys on the other. James sat beside you, and Lily was directly in front of him.
You never quite understood why they arranged themselves like that, but it hardly mattered in the moment.
They were busy in conversation before James had noticed someone next to him, his eyes widening. You couldn't quite read his face but it seemed like a mix of confusion and flustered.
You stared at him back but he still had yet to mutter a word. You cleared your throat, "Uh hello," You practically whispered.
He snapped back into reality, "Oh sorry, hi," He muttered back.
Silence took over you both as James couldn't find the words of what to say to you.
On one hand, he wanted to call you beautiful, to tell you that you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. On the other, he just wanted to stare at you for a few more minutes like a creep.
Lily noticed his gaze and leaned in, smirking. "Excuse my friend; we’re still trying to figure out if he has a brain."
"I thought we solved that decades ago," Marlene chimed in, stifling a laugh.
Lily turned to you with a curious smile. "I don’t believe I’ve seen you before. What’s your name?"
Are you actually fucking kidding me?
You scoffed, "I'm Y/N,"
The entire group looked at you in awe, even the ones who weren't chimed in on the conversation.
"Y/N L/N?" Sirius asked, mouth gaping.
"Yep, that one," You snorted.
They all looked like they had seen a ghost, "You look different," Marlene said as Mary shoved her.
"She means in a good way!" Mary added.
"Uh thanks," You said, awkwardly.
They all continued to stare at you like you were an exhibit in a museum, their eyes scanning you up and down.
"Do you all mind not staring at me?" you asked, trying to break the tension. They all looked away, feigning innocence as they muttered apologies.
"How have you been?" Lily asked, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness.
"Fine," you replied, your tone clipped.
You caught the pained expressions on the Marauders' faces, realizing they were the reason for your dismissive attitude.
"That's great," Lily said, forcing a smile.
You felt a wave of frustration at the awkwardness surrouding you and decided it was time to escape. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you announced, heading toward the exit before they could respond.
As you walked away, you could already here the mutters and whispers emerging from the table, the fascinating topic being you.
You paced as you heard footsteps trailing behind you, but you ignored them, letting your gaze wander around the castle.
"Y/N!" someone called out, startling you.
You turned to see Sirius, James, and Remus hurrying after you. You only let out a snort before continuing your same way.
A hand suddenly reached around your forearm as you turned to see Remus. You quickly snatched your hand away, finally stopping to look at the group of boys who you despised.
Crossing your arms, you shot them a hostile look. "What?"
"We just wanna—"
"We're so—"
"Listen, we just—"
They all spoke at once, but you scoffed and turned back toward the bathroom, starting to walk away.
You were hoping that they would realize you wanted nothing to do with them but instead, it only made them want to chase you more.
They quickened their pace, and you spun around sharply. "For fuck's sake, what do you want?" you snapped.
James took a breath, his expression earnest. "I'm sorry for what I said. I've been thinking about it since you left. I was an awful twat, and you didn't deserve a thing of what I said."
You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Are you serious?" You asked as your expression changed to furious, "You basically called me a loser and said that Lily and the rest of them were only hanging out with me out of pity,"
James hissed as your statement, feeling the razor in your voice.
"-And now you all want to act as if I should just forgive you since I don't look the same anymore," You got closer to James's face, "Fuck off."
You turned your heel again and this time, the boys didn't follow you.
You finally entered the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you struggled to read the expression on your face. You were furious at the Marauders, and the idea of forgiving them felt impossible.
Yet, there was a flicker of gratitude that you felt for the change you’d undergone. You’d gained a new confidence that felt good, but the sting of their cruel words still lingered in your mind.
And you knew that you couldn't let it get to you but knowing they thought that of you, even Remus. It still did things to you that you would never admit out loud.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you realized it was almost time to head to the dormitory.
The rest of the night had flown by, with first years being introduced to their new home for the next six years while everyone else relaxed in the common room. Despite curfews, fifth years and above knew they could hang out longer—the curfew was mostly for the first years anyway.
"Caput Draconis," you muttered, and the Fat Lady nodded, granting you entrance.
Stepping into the common room, your heart sank as you spotted the last group you wanted to see. They noticed you just as quickly, encouraging you to pick up your pace toward the dorm.
"Hey, Y/N!" Dorcas called out, making you wince as you turned to see her waving.
The Marauders looked down, shame etched on their faces, avoiding your gaze as if you were Medusa.
You approached them slowly, dread settling in your stomach as they eyed you like a science project.
"We were just about to play a fun little game," Dorcas said enticingly, while Marlene snorted beside her.
"I don’t know if Spin the Bottle is a great idea for the first night back," Marlene added, taking a sip of her beer.
"A little peck never hurt anyone," Lily chimed in, clapping her hands together.
Of all people, you’d never expect Lily Evans to approve such a thing. This was the same girl who nearly fainted when she heard about Marlene and Dorcas kissing the previous year.
"I don’t know if this is the game for me," you replied, eyeing the group warily.
"Of course it is!" Lily insisted, but you raised an eyebrow. "Oh my gosh! Not like that, I just mean it's a fun game for us all to play," she quickly added, looking flustered.
Part of you wanted to say no and retreat to your bed, but that was the old you, and you knew it wouldn’t help. This was a new year, and you were determined to embrace new experiences.
Besides, you’d never participated in any scandalous games for all of the years you've been at Hogwarts—it felt like a crime in itself.
So, after a moment’s hesitation, you said, "Okay, sure." The girls erupted in cheers, while the Marauders exchanged worried glances.
What if you had to kiss one of them? Would you refuse and create a scene? Would you want to strangle them for even suggesting it?
The possibilities raced through their mind, but there was no turning back as everyone began to form a circle.
As you sat in the circle, a shiver of nervousness enveloped you. You had never kissed anyone before and the whole thought made you nervous within itself.
Don't get it wrong, you've had chances but they never seemed right and you certainly weren't kissing Matthew Trunchbull underneath the bleachers of the Quidditch field.
So when you got offered a shot of firewhiskey to cool your nerves by Marlene, you took it happily as it burned down your throat.
You brushed off all the negative thoughts entering your mind,
What really is the worst thing that could happen?
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sneakygreenbean · 1 year ago
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personal observations made by a new cane user:
you do not need to be in constant pain to own a cane.
folding canes have a clasp or band to keep them folded. losing the band is a pain in the ass.
you will get dirty looks
it does not matter what age you are. you will get dirty looks.
you have to hold it in the opposite hand as the disabled leg. this is fortunate, as I am right handed, so i hold it in my left hand to support my right leg.
people will try to steal your cane from you.
when standing still, I hold it in my right hand unless i need to do something right handedly. this does not work as well as i thought it would.
being visibly physically disabled is difficult. having a mobility aid will help with pain and movement, but some people don't get them because visible disability is treated with disgust.
if someone meets you for the first time, and you don't have your cane, then they will like you more, but they will not believe you are actually disabled.
if someone meets you for the first time, and you have your cane, they will not treat you the same.
the majority of other cane and mobility aid users I have met are homeless. I live close to a big city.
People do not want to see you being disabled.
you will not hear of the benefits of using a cane from anyone who does not use a cane.
no one will prepare you for the world of being visibly physically disabled. however bad you think we have it is usually not from the disability at all. I can deal with pain and I can deal with an indisposed left hand.
the hardest part of being disabled is the fact that no one will care until you make them care.
the disabled seats on trains are a suggestion
the disabled seats on buses are a suggestion.
you will have a different experience with using a cane than I have had.
your hand will become tired. you are using it as a leg.
your cane is legally a part of your body. this will not stop some people.
you are not your disability. but it will affect you.
i love you
theres always an invisible someone who has it worse. that person will not be affected or offended by your use of a cane. take the damn ibuprofen. put the folded cane in your bag. ask your friends for help. gd knows they need help sometimes too.
you will have to learn that things will be impossible to you. you may not run as fast anymore. you may not become a skater, like you always wanted to be. you may be left behind when everyone else runs ahead.
you deserve better.
your cane handle gets dirty. wash it.
some days pain is worse. some days you will feel it the moment you wake up.
no one deserves pain. the human condition is not to suffer. we deserve better. we deserve to be loved and not tolerated. we deserve to be seen better than from the corners of eyes. we deserve to be heard better than an afterthought at a meeting.
be quick to care for yourself. I love you.
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queenpiranhadon · 3 months ago
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Can I request bkg and reader getting in a fight so they still share the bed but sleep while facing away from each other. But then reader gets nightmare about him dying and clutches to him. How do you think he would react??
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A/N: Sobbing because the manga has me in shambles TY ANON FOR THE REQUESTTT <33 Here's the masterlist!
Warning(s): Mild cursing, you and Katsuki get into a fight, he's a little hot headed but he means well, you both love each other so much, you both are dating, mentions of an anxiety attack, nightmares, angst to comfort, mentions of blood and death, slight spoilers, reader is called princess and baby, f!reader.
Pairing(s): Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
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•─────•°•❀•°•──── ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ────•°•☁︎•°•────•
"Katsuki you can't keep doing this to yourself!"
"Jesus baby, ya know that this is my job, I don't have a choice! I can't just stop savin' people 'cause my girlfriend wants me to."
It went on like that for a while, back and forth, between "You can't just keep coming home like this, it's not healthy!" and "It's my fuckin' job - what the fuck do ya want me to do about it?!" as well as every single variation of the two.
It was exhausting.
You were understandably worried sick about your pro hero boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugou, you always had been. You loved him to death, you always would, but your heart simply couldn't take the sight of him coming home bruised and bloodied and on the brink of death.
You believed in him, you really did, but the little voice in the back of your head never seemed to stop asking the one question you wish never had to be asked in the first place.
What if it finally became too much? What if one day, he didn't come home back to you?
The scenarios that voice would create were almost as bad as having to experience it in real life, and Katsuki's blatant disregard for your feelings only made it worse.
To him, you didn't believe in him. Your worries made him feel weak - your worries made it seem like his skills were incompetent, as if he wasn't enough. After all, when you see a hero like All Might on the screen, no one is simply worried for his wellbeing, because they know he'll win.
Why don't you think he can win?
The two of you don't speak to each other for the rest of the night, still sleeping in the same bed but turned away from each other.
And it was hard, trying to fall asleep without the other, so accustomed to falling asleep in each other's arms, but you finally managed to do so.
However, without Katsuki's presence to soothe you in the night, the voice in your head decided to take the reins on your dreams.
Except it was much more worse than that.
You were on a battle field, there was so much happening except there was nothing happening at the same time.
You can't see your hands, or the rest of your body, eerily making you a spectator to the chilling scene around you.
The ground was slate grey, and then it wasn't, crimson blood staining the ground until all you could see was red.
You try to scream, but you can't because you have no body, and consequently, no mouth.
Still you persist, opening an invisible mouth to let out soundless screams in the hope that someone, anyone, can get you out of this soulless empty hellhole.
And then you see him.
It's Katsuki.
He looks fine, unharmed except for the hollow look in his eyes.
Your heart aches and you reach out an invisible hand to do something, to apologize for losing your temper, anything to have him back.
But the moment you blink, Katsuki isn't fine, or unharmed anymore.
Now, there was a gaping hole in his chest, and half of his face was stained the same crimson that was splattered across the ground.
You could only watch in horror as Katsuki's life was sucked out of him, seeping out through the blood that dripped out of his body, staining the ground even further, pooling at his feet.
You scream even more, but nothing comes out. You can't do anything, and the love of your life is bleeding out and you're just standing there.
Shit!
You didn't realize you were crying until you feel two strong hands gently shaking you awake, finding yourself buried in Katsuki's chest, clutching onto his shirt like it was your lifeline. Or in this case, his.
"Princess? I'm here, baby I'm here...everything's okay..." he murmurs, his gruff voice soothing you as he strokes your hair, allowing you to soak his shirt with your tears, not minding it at all.
You look at him, and his heart breaks at the broken look in your eyes.
"Katsuki...?" you whisper, and he looks at your with those piercing vermillion eyes, ridden with guilt.
"Baby, m'so sorry I talked to ya like that.... I'm so stupid, damnit." he whispers angrily, not to you, but to himself.
How had he not realized how bad your anxiety was?
He sighs - he wasn't the focus right now, you were.
He brings a large and gentle hand around, cupping the back of your head and tenderly pressing it against his chest.
"Feel that princess? That my heart, beating for ya. And only for ya, ya hear me?"
You giggle softly, feeling your heart warm. The two of you fall asleep together like that, and the little voice in your head finally gives you a few words of assurance.
Katsuki's okay.
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drewsbraziliangf · 27 days ago
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nothing to say when heaven falls | Drew Starkey x black!reader
summary: what can you do when the person that’s supposed to understand and be on your side chooses to doubt your fears?
Word count: 1388
a/n: not edited, we die like soldiers!!!!! pls let me know if you wish to be added to my taglist
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"How can't you see how disrespectful this is to me, Drew?" You ask with a strained voice and teary eyes. "Everywhere you go she's looming like a shadow."
"She's my friend, what do you want me to do?" Exasperated, he asks.
"I don't know. Maybe tell her that your fiancé doesn't feel comfortable with her following you around, traveling abroad to see you or fuck, being all fucking touchy and handsy with you in public."
My throat was burning as the words slipped my mouth but I simply couldn't avoid it any longer. I am so tired of this whole situation and it has been going on for far too long. I just can't hold it back anymore.
"Can't exactly tell her what to do," he rolled his eyes this time.
"Really? Am I really asking for that much?" I look at the man in front of me with disbelief, "I just want to feel like I'm not invisible in my own goddamn relationship. She sees you more than I do and I am the one with a ring on my finger. How is this fair?" 
"Babe, listen, there's nothing going on between me and her. You have to believe me," he pleads as he runs his hands through his hair.
"You don't think I'm trying to believe you? I'm in the trenches everyday telling myself this over and over again, but how can I turn a blind eye to it when the first thing I see whenever I'm online is that you're both coincidently in the same city. For the millionth time."
I know that pulling this out in the open this way isn't the best option. But how could I keep bottling all of this up when it's causing such a heavy pain in my chest every time I see their names together?
It was always clear the perks of dating a public figure and I never backed out on it. Now seeing the man who asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and have his babies walking around with the woman everyone swears he was romantically involved with is messed up.
“I don’t know what you want me to do,” he admits as he walks away from me.
That felt like a punch. Because how could I make it anymore obvious? Do I have to draw it to a thirty year old why he should respect the woman he chose to propose to? 
“Are you for real right now?” I asked as I follow him into the kitchen of our shared apartment. “Did you really just said that to me, Joseph?”
At this point it felt like there was no going back anymore, either this was going to be totally fixed here or it wouldn’t at all. The bandaid was ripped and the wound was open and burning.
“How can you be so dull? You really can’t see what the problem here is?” 
I watch as he fills a glass with water and turns his back to me. He did it twice already. The off white walls of the kitchen lacked the warm they always brought when we were in it together. It felt claustrophobic and like the roof was going to fall over our heads at any given minute.
“You’re acting like I’m cheating on you. Like this is some major fuck up. It isn’t, you’re turning it into something it isn’t.” His tone was cold but looking at his posture it was clear that he was trying to maintain his calm.
The condescending tone in his voice made me want to shrink into myself and hide away from the world.
“Oh, right. Yeah, blame it on me for thinking that my fiancé going out of his way to be with his ex fuck buddy isn’t normal.”
“Careful,” he warns once finally looks at me.
“Or what, Drew? What else could you possibly do that will make me feel worse than I already do?” I challenge, my gaze locked on him as I wait.
After a few minutes of us staring down at each other, he shakes his head and sighs. 
“I’m not doing whatever this is. I’m done entertaining this,” he declares and he leans against the countertop.
Drew and I met around two years ago through a mutual friend. We instantly hit off and after a few dates, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend - which I obviously accepted. We had this instant connection that isn’t common. At first I was terrified of it, I knew who he was and the fact that his life was always being scrutinized by thousands of people. I knew what people said online about him and as we got closer and closer I couldn’t help but lose myself in the speculations about him even more.
Our relationship was great and we always made sure that each others boundaries were respected, so color me stoked to be in this situation right now. I am not dumb and every single day there is a needle pinching me making me think of stuff and situations like the one we find ourselves right now just indulge those thoughts.
In the early days of our relationship we made sure there were no secrets between us and past relationships. I knew I was his first black girlfriend, I knew he was born and raised in the South too. So joining that and the fact that I am an immigrant did make me scared of a lot of things, the main of them being the fact that it isn’t uncommon at all for men to always find their way back to that they are used to. 
So seeing her upon him all the time while people online barely know about our relationship feels like hell. Because even though I’m in family pictures that his sisters post online, and the very visible ring on my finger I am never considered the option of being his significant other. She is. Every single time. And he never did anything about it - hell, he never even set boundaries with her and she knows that we’re together. Am I really reading too much into things? 
Being three months away from our wedding day, this isn’t the kind of thought or conversations I would like to be having. I should be fucking excited and dress hunting, but lately the only thing that I feel like doing is swallowing lumps and holding back tears, faking smiles and pretending I’m fine. I’m not, I’m fucking falling apart and I’m so tired of begging to be seen. 
“I don’t know how else to tell you that I am not comfortable with this and that you shouldn’t be either,” I point out as the first tear cross the edges of my cheeks. “I don’t know how else to ask you to respect our relationship.”
“I respect our relationship, I always did. I just don’t think that what you’re saying right now makes any sense. Whatever I had with her in the past is over.” He says as he runs one of his hands through his face.
“Drew, honey, you’re not seeing things from my point of view. Imagine if it was me catching planes every other day to be with someone that I was involved in with in the past. And all of our friends know that you and I are together. How would that make you feel?”
At that he says nothing but silence can mean many things, and in this case it means consent. 
Tired of this back in forth conversation, I reach for my phone that was besides his on the counter and as if the timing couldn’t be more right, the screen of his phone lights up with an incoming call. No surprise flashes through my features as I see the picture on the caller id, both of them in a mirror picture as they brush their teeth.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I confess watching as he reaches for his phone quickly declining the call. “Not when you’re up to your eyeballs into whatever this is. I’ll make the calls tomorrow and cancel the dates with the venue.”
I grab my phone and my purse and I walk towards the front door before he can say anything else, I’m closing it behind me. 
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reidmarieprentiss · 4 months ago
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Tummy
Summary: Spencer doesn't like the tummy he gained, you love it.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: fluff, angst
Warnings/Includes: insecurities, body image issues, weight gain
Word count: 770
a/n: i already want to eat spencer and then the tummy?? im starvinggg
main masterlist
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You're completely obsessed with Spencer's tummy, and it's impossible to resist the urge to touch it. Whether it's squeezing it gently, planting soft kisses across it, or even playfully biting and pinching, you can't help but be drawn to that spot. Every chance you get, your hands find their way to his stomach, reveling in the warmth and softness beneath your fingers. It's an obsession that leaves Spencer both amused and endlessly flustered as you indulge in your favorite pastime—giving his tummy all the affection it deserves.
However, once Spencer's tummy starts getting a little bigger, particularly after his time in prison, he begins to find your loving obsession a bit upsetting. The weight he's gained, combined with the emotional scars of his imprisonment, leaves him feeling insecure and vulnerable. Despite all the affection you shower on him, Spencer can't shake the doubts creeping into his mind. 
As you reach out to Spencer, your fingers itching to make contact with his soft, warm tummy, he recoils slightly, his body tensing beneath your touch. It's a subtle reaction at first, almost imperceptible, but as the days go by, it becomes more pronounced. He begins to pull away entirely, turning his body to the side or gently pushing your hand away, offering you a tight smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
The rejection stings, even when it's cloaked in sweetness, even when he tries to play it off as nothing. You start to notice the pattern—how he avoids letting you get too close to that one spot, how his usual playfulness seems forced, as if he's battling something inside that he can't quite put into words. The distance between you grows, and the intimacy that once felt so natural now feels strained, as if there's an invisible barrier between you and the person you love.
Finally, one evening, after another attempt to touch him is met with a gentle but firm refusal, he can't take it anymore.
"Please stop touching me there!" Spencer's voice breaks, his frustration and discomfort spilling out in a way that surprises even him.
The tension that's been building inside you spills over, and you find yourself asking the question that's been gnawing at your heart. "Spencer, do you hate my tummy? Do you think I'm repulsive since I put on weight?" Your voice trembles slightly, the vulnerability in your question laid bare, as you search his eyes for an answer.
His eyes widen in shock, and he shakes his head vehemently, his own emotions bubbling to the surface. "God no! I would never think that about you," he says, his voice filled with sincerity, almost as if the mere suggestion pains him.
"Then why do you assume I would ever feel that way about you?" The question hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken fears and insecurities.
Spencer looks away, his gaze dropping to the floor as he struggles to find the words. "I... I just feel like I'm not the same as I used to be. I've put on weight, and it... it makes me feel self-conscious. I don't want you to see me like that, to think less of me because of it."
Your heart aches at his confession, and without hesitation, you step closer, cupping his face in your hands so that he has no choice but to look at you. "Spencer," you say softly, your thumbs brushing against his cheeks, "I love every part of you, every inch. I don't care if you've put on weight or not. What I love is you—your mind, your heart, and yes, your body too, exactly as it is."
You take his hands and guide them to your own stomach, pressing them gently against your skin. "Do you hate this?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "Do you think I'm repulsive?"
He shakes his head again, this time more slowly, as if he's beginning to understand. "No," he whispers back, his fingers trembling slightly against you.
"Then believe me when I say I would never think that about you," you reply, your voice firm but tender. "Your body is beautiful to me, Spencer. Every part of you is beautiful to me."
Spencer's eyes meet yours, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you see the walls he's built around himself start to crumble. He leans into your touch, and as you pull him close, you feel the tension in his body slowly melt away. In that moment, you know that while the journey to accepting himself fully might take time, you're both willing to walk that path together.
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tag list <333 @spencerreidsreads @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @reggieswriter @loumouse @mentallyunwellsposts @time-himself @chaneladdicted @kathrynlakestone @furrybouquettrash @hearts4spensco @gilwm @khxna @charismatic-writer @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg
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darlingdaisyfarm · 2 months ago
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. 𖥔 but you belong to me (Bill x Ford x fem!reader) ˖
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tags: nsfw (mdni), rough sex, triangle bill, mind fuck, p in v, oral sex, fingering, dirty talk, overstim, can this be considered as threesome?, billford, bill x reader too, because bill is obsessed with ford and reader
Ford's fingers slide your panties to the side, his thumb teasing your clit. And that’s when you feel it. His presence, slipping into your mind, into your reality. Bill, his voice fills the entire room, he’s watching everything, his creepy laugh echoing in your skull. But then there’s more, what feels like phantom fingers, Bill’s will, twisting reality, adding another layer to the sensation. 
You feel the weight of Bill's presence even before he starts talking. You gasp, feeling both Ford’s physical touch and Bill’s mental invasion. “Awww, baby, I see you squirming, so cute, so innocent, acting like you’re not dying to be fucked right now.”
You swear you feel something like ghostly fingers tracing the inside of your thighs. “You feel that, doll? That’s all me. That little pussy is practically begging for it, isn’t it?” his words curl around your mind, suffocating. “I could make you scream without even laying a single finger on you, doll. Or I could let Sixer here think he’s doing all the work. What do you want, hm? To beg? To cry?” his voice teases you from inside. “come on, you want this, don't you? How about I help make it a little more fun?”
Meanwhile Ford pulls your thighs apart, running his fingers over your skin, “Don’t listen to him, keep your eyes on me.” he whispers, leaning closer to your core.
You can’t. You physically can’t, because Bill’sthere, not touching but everywhere. His voice enters your thoughts, making every brush of Ford’s lips against your skin send electric sparks throughout your whole body. “Touch her more, Sixer, don’t hold back now, you know I don’t like when you do.”
Ford doesn’t stop, as if obeying. His hands are shaking why, Sixer? as they hold your hips, his breath against your soaking pussy, lips dragging down your inner thighs, closer. “Focus on me. Please, I’m right here.”
Your legs tremble and the second his tongue presses against your swollen clit, Bill sends a pulse through your head, flipping the world upside down. The bed disappears, replaced with something dark, flickering lights, shadows, but you still feel Ford’s mouth on you, licking, sucking, groaning into you.
Phantom touches everywhere. Invisible fingers tracing up your inner thighs, circling your wrists, grabbing at your ankles. You cry out, body arching into Ford’s mouth, but there’s something more, something that feels like Bill as you hear his voice in your head, mocking, amused. “Yeah, yeah, good girl, keep whining like that.”
You squirm under Ford’s touch, but your mind’s caught between his soft movements and Bill’s invasion into your senses. He’s twisting reality around you, making you feel as if hands holding you down are Ford’s, maybe, or maybe Bill’s invisible force, pressing down on you while Ford’s tongue fucks you deeper. 
You gasp, hips jerking against Ford’s face, his wet, eager tongue running all over your slit. But it’s Bill who makes these sensations stronger. He pounds your mind with dirty thoughts, makes every flick of Ford’s tongue feel like it’s not just Ford anymore, but something darker, more chaotic, controlling you from the inside. 
“Can he make you scream like I can, doll? you look pathetic like this, so fucking adorable.”
Ford growls in frustration what happened, Fordsy? not getting enough attention?, he drags his tongue up your clit again, sucking it into his mouth while his fingers finally slide inside you, curling, stretching, fucking into you. Your eyes widening, you swear you’re loosing your mind and your fingers clutch at the sheets. You can barely get the words out, because it feels like Bill’s fingers are already inside you too, teasing where Ford can’t reach. It’s like your body is betraying you and you can’t even tell what’s real anymore.
“M-more, please—! so good. . .” moans falls from your lips.
“She’s so wet, Sixer, she’s fucking drenched for you,” Cipher’s sick voice hums inside Ford’s head too.
“Fuck off.” Ford wants to say, but instead he talks to you: “Ignore him. I’m right here, don’t listen to him.” he mutters, pulling away from you for a second before starting to devour you again, tongue swirling around your clit while his fingers drive into you, pressing against that gummy spot and you’re falling apart. But Bill’s mocking laughter fills your ears.
Your body jerks away because it’s just too much, too much sensations they overwhelm you, but Ford’s rough hands pull you back, grabbing your hips as he yanks you closer to his mouth, fingers pumping into you faster, deeper, his tongue pressing against your throbbing clit, sucking. You can’t control the way your legs shake, the way your pussy clenches around his fingers. Ford’s groans are muffled, vibrating through your cunt and it makes your body twitch, thighs squeezing around his head, but he’s not giving in. You taste too damn good.
And Bill’s there. Watching. You scream as Ford's tongue makes you see stars, but it’s Bill who twists your mind to make it feel like there are more hands, more mouths, fingers digging into your skin, phantom lips brushing your neck, your thighs, everything. 
“That’s it, whimper like that. Ford’s doing all the hard work, but we both know who’s really in control, right?” Bill laughs and your vision blurry with how fast Ford’s moving his fingers, shoving them deep into your dripping pussy, creating these filthy squelching sounds, but Bill is flooding your mind, until you’re whimpering, shuddering, begging for more.
Ford's mouth is still working you over, he swirls his tongue on your tortured clit as his fingers curling inside, knuckle deep, drawing you closer to orgasm because you feel oh so fucking good your toes curl. But Bill’s voice is right there, crawling through your head like an infection.
Your body shakes, every nerve alive as Ford’s groan vibrates against your pussy. “I said, focus on me,” he whispers in a serious tone, plunging his fingers a little bit rougher into your wet cunt, reaching deeper. "Just me."
“Aww, isn’t that cute? you really think she’s with you, Fordsy? she’s already halfway gone, look at her, all fucked out.”
Stanford isn’t letting Bill win this. Not tonight.
Without a word, Ford grabs your thighs, pulling you closer to his body. His gaze lingers on you, on your face, your eyes stare into his, confused. Ford rarely feels this emotion, but right now he's angry, not at you. He's angry at himself for letting this happen, for messing with this demon and dragging you, the most precious thing he have, into this fucked up mess. Although he promised himself that there wouldn’t even be a hint of Bill in your life. Then how did he let such shit happen. . .?
“You're so thoughtful, Sixer. That's why I like you, even when she's lying all wet and needy under you, you still think about me. Isn't it true love?”
“F-fuck you,” Ford mutters under his breath and you give him a bleary look, your eyelashes fluttering. 
“Look at you two— pathetic. . . so desperate to feel me, aren’t you just two sick weirdos?” Bill mocks.
You don’t get time to say something as Ford slides his cock between your folds, slapping his leaking tip against your clit couple of times and then he slams into you in one swift move. You cry out, head tilting back. “You’re so tight, honey, even after I prepared you, mmhm, fucking perfect,” Ford groans, poor man can’t get enough of your wetness and tightness, as he punctuates each thrust with a hungry moan. His cock hitting so deep you can’t help but cry out, a mix of pleasure and shock. 
“Fordfordfordford—“ you repeat over and over again, mind too dumb to form anything else than just his name, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him close to the kiss.
Bill’s laugh cuts through the air like static, he’s everywhere, inside your head, inside your body, like he’s fucking you from the inside out, dragging every ounce of pleasure from your soul without even needing to touch you. “That’s right, doll. Let him fuck you, such a good little toy.”
Ford's face turns serious as he watches you become boneless, when you look at him through these beautiful tears of pleasure, but he doesn’t let you time to adjust, driving into you without mercy.
“Ouch, Fordsy, so rough. What made you that mad?” 
Ford is trying to drown out Bill’s voice, trying to lose himself in you. “Shut up,” he pants, his forehead presses to yours, eyes squeezed shut. “Just shut up.” but you can hear the way his voice trembles, his mind isn’t entirely here either. Bill got him, too.
“You really think you’re the one making her feel good?”
Ford leans down, pressing you into the mattress, his weight crushing into you, hands grabbing at your thighs to spread you open wider, forcing you to take him deeper. He buries himself as far as he can, because he wants, needs, to make sure only he can fuck you like that, only he can reach that deep inside your body till his tip rubs against your cervix. He groans into your neck. “You’re mine— not his. Mine.” 
There’s Bill again. “Does this cunt feel good, Sixer?” 
“Goddammit, Bill—” Ford hisses, but even as he protests, his movements quicken, his cock drilling into you repeatedly, so needy, he’s just as lost in it as you are. His thumb circles your clit to bring his lovely girl more pleasure, but it’s like Bill’s controlling the pace, dragging it out, making it impossible for you to think straight.
Ford grits his teeth, thrusting harder, making the bed shake beneath you. His hands are on your thighs, his cock driving into you with desperate, determined thrusts. “Ignore him, he’s nothing,” he whispers into your ear, but it sounds like he’s telling that to himself more than all. Ford kisses the side of your neck, groaning your name, his hips never stopping, pounding into you in deep, relentless thrusts while you hold onto him, feeling how hot his body is.
But how can you ignore Bill, when he’s slipping into your thoughts like he belongs there, his influence wrapping around your mind like an invisible hand on your throat?
Your legs tremble, body arching under him, Ford moves even deeper, rearranging your insides and you scream. “Ahh—! ahhn, damn— Ford, Ford! sl-slow down”
His cock throbs inside you, kissing your cervix, he hates being that rough, but he can’t help himself, trying to claim you, mark you, keep you away from Bill. 
Ford kisses you, hungrily, so damn messy, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth and all you can do is cling to him, your body shaking as he pounds into you, his cock pulses, grinding into that spot inside you that makes you claw at his back, nails dragging down his skin as your mind goes hazy from the pleasure.
But Bill’s not backing down. “Fucking pathetic, Sixer. Look at her, she’s still thinking about me while you’re fucking her. Can’t even keep her focused, can you?” that makes Ford’s grip on you only tighten, fingers digging into your skin as he slams into you harder, trying to get you back to reality when he sees your eyes rolling, you’re whining pathetically, your mind nothing but a fog. Ford wishes he can fuck you so deep and good that there’s no room for Bill in your head. And his too.
Ford presses closer as if he could block Bill out just by being inside you. His hands gripping so hard you know there’ll be bruises tomorrow, but right now, you’re too lost in the way Ford’s cock feels deliciously good inside you, filling you just in the way you always wished. “He can’t have you, you’re mine, honey, mine—” Ford stutters. “fucking look at me, sweetheart.” his hand wraps around your throat, not tight, but enough to pin you down, keep you in place as he slams into you, hips snapping forward with punishing thrusts that make tears roll down your cheeks.
But Bill’s presence won’t leave. His voice is like a knife in the back of your mind and Ford feels it too, but before you know it, he’s flipping you over, pulling you onto all fours. He slams into you from behind, his cock stretching you wide, what has you gasping, barely able to hold yourself up. He continues to fuck you into oblivion, thrusting into you so hard, desperate to claim you, to own you in the way only he can and all you do is moan into the sheets, your body trembling beneath him, your body so damn hot you feel you gonna explode. 
Ford grips your waist, pulling you back against him and you hear him moaning, “Fuck. . . haahhn, you feel so g-good, please, baby, pleasee,” Ford doesn’t know what he’s begging for, but he’s grinding into you, hitting that spot again and again, what feels like he’s splitting you apart, but Bill just laughs at that. Sixer, you’re always so needy
“Oh, you should see yourself right now, doll! bent over like a perfect little toy, drooling all over Sixer’s cock, what a show!”
You’re panting like a dog, barely able to breathe with how fast Ford’s fucking you, euphoria overwhelming your brain, the slap of skin against skin loud in the room. 
“C’mon, baby, don’t you wish it was me fucking you? my energy pulsing through that tight little cunt of yours, id fill you up so fucking full, you’d be shaking, just begging for more, i can feel how much you want it. All that innocence in your pretty little head? Gone, fucking ruined.”
Ford hears it too and grabs your shoulders, pulling you up against his chest, one arm wrapping around you like he’s trying to shield you from Bill’s gaze, keeping you close, possessive. Your pleasure building higher with every dirty word Bill throws at you, the way he mocks you and Ford. . . it’s so fucked up, you shouldn't get that damn wet from it.
“She’s all yours, huh? Funny, she’s about to cum and it won’t be because of you, IQ.”
“Fuck, no!” Ford snaps. “You’re mine, he’s not touching you, honey, focus on me, baby, dammit—“ he grunts loudly nearly into your face as he’s trying to make you look at him.
But Bill only gets crueler. “Aww, you hear that? he thinks he owns you, thinks he’s in control. But look at her, Sixer, she’s soaking your cock just from the sound of my voice. You can feel it, her cunt squeezing every time I talk, pathetic, isn’t it? she’s fucking pathetic.”
“Fo-Ford—! ahhnnn, I’m so close!” hearing your voice, Ford slips his hand down to rub your clit, while pressing sweet kisses on your neck, whispering what a good girl you are and begging you to cum on his cock, trying to get your mind onto something else than this demon.
But Bill isn’t done. Not even close.
“Ohhhh, you like that, baby? like when he fucks you hard like that? i bet you’re imagining what it would feel like if I were the one splitting you open instead. God, I’d tear that sweet cunt apart, fill you up so full, you’d be dripping all over the floor. You’d be fucking ruined, doll.”
Ford’s fingers digs into your skin, he’s trying so hard to pretend Bill isn’t here. “That's it, there’s my good girl, i love you s-so, fuck, so much, sweetheart,” he groans into your ear in such needy tone as if it’s the only thing keeping him from losing it completely.
If not Ford holding you, you’d surely fall because your body shaking so hard you can’t control yourself, these absolutely pornographic moans you make because your brain just melts as Ford’s cock keeps slamming into you. Your pussy clenches tight around him, you’re so wet, so fucking soaked, that the sound of him fucking you hard is so obscene, filling the room with the wet slap of his cock driving deep inside you, again and again. 
“Close, baby? Let go. Cum for him. Show him how fucking easy it is to break you.”
As if obeying Bill's words, Ford’s finger moves faster on your clit, cock pounding into you relentlessly.
“Good fucking girl. Cum for me.” now you have no idea who says that, but your orgasm crashes over you, your body shaking in Ford’s embrace, your cunt tightens hard around his cock and you cry out, mind spinning and empty, nothing fills it except Ford’s groans and Bill’s degradation. However Ford doesn’t stop moving even now as he pulls you deeper onto his cock and that’s when pleasure becomes painfully too much to handle. “Mine. . .” Ford tries to block out Bill’s voice with his own. 
But Cipher’s words sounds in both your heads. “Look at him, baby, he can’t get enough of you, can’t blame him, I’d fuck you too, but this, this is better, isn’t it?“ Bill is so caring he doesn’t forget about his lovely Sixer. “Is that all you’ve got, Fordsy?”
“Get out of my head, you b-bastard,” Ford growls, but the way his voice sounds, he’s losing it. His thrusts are so sloppy and desperate, as he tries to reclaim control, but Bill’s grip is stronger.
“Not until I’ve had my fun.” Bill whispers.
Ford’s lips hover against your ear. “Tell me. . . hngh, tell me he’s not in your head right now.” but there’s a tremor in his voice, because he knows it’s useless to fight it. Bill’s everywhere, in your thoughts, in your body, pulling every thread and Ford’s just as tangled in it as you are.
Ford tries to fuck image of Bill out of your head, out of your body, but it’s impossible, because now, that’s where he belongs. You feel both of them, in your mind, in your body, you’re both mess of moans and whines, so damn loud, but Bill adores it, it's been so long since he's heard his beloved Sixer whine like a bitch.
Ford’s hands on your your waist, fingers digging into your skin as he drives himself deep inside you from behind, your body arching into the sheets with each powerful thrust, you’re so lost in it, the overwhelming sensation, but then you feel Ford falter for a second. 
He thinks. “Fuck, he’s watching, isn’t he. . . Bill’s— he’s seeing this through me.“ Ford knows Bill like the back of his six-fingered hand, which is why he ends up being right. Cipher’s gaze burning through Ford’s perspective, he’s seeing every fucking inch of you, the way you arch for him. There's not much Ford can do about it, only trying to cover you from the all-seeing eye. But Ford is fucked up, just like Bill. He can’t help himself because the thought of Bill watching only drives him into you deeper. The way you’re taking him, yeah, Bill is getting a front-row seat. This angle, this view, Bill is seeing you like this, watching your ass bounce, watching your pussy swallow Ford’s cock. That’s why Bill got so quiet now?
"He’s— fuckk, he’s probably loving every second of it. You look so beautiful, darling." Ford’s voice breaks into a moan. "but he’s not the one fucking you, he can’t feel this— nghn, can’t feel how tight you are, how wet you are for me, oh god—!”
Pleasure tightening in your belly again, your legs shaking and suddenly you feel like you can’t breathe anymore, can’t focus on anything, your heart beats so hard. You’re close, so fucking close and it’s like Bill knows. “Go on, doll, cum,” his voice a hypnotic command. “let me hear you scream again.”
"F-Ford, I'm—"
“Yes, yes, cum for me, be a good girl and finish on my cock again, please,” Ford’s cock twitching at the feeling of your little hole squeezing him.
The pressure in your core snaps as you cum, muscles clenching hard around Ford's length, you’re shaking and trembling again, the sensation too much, too overwhelming and you’re such a damn mess, all sheets are covered in your juices, saliva and tears. Your vision goes white as you cry out, pulsing around him and Ford's name falls from your lips in broken gasps.
Ford’s thrusts stutter and you feel him start to pull out, he’s about to spill himself on your back, just like always, but then Bill's voice is heard again. “Oh, no, no, no! That’s not how this ends, Sixer.”
You hear Ford’s sharp gasp and then his hips slam forward one last time, burying his cock deep inside you again, Bill’s controlling him. You barely have time to process it before Ford groans, his dick twitching, filling you up with his cum, hot and thick. “Ohhh, fuck—! fuck, I— I didn’t— Shit, Bill, you—“ it’s like his body doesn’t belong him, Ford still moving inside you, much slower as he pumps you full of cum, until some of it starts leaking out.
Bill’s laugh fills the room. “Oh, look at that. Isn’t this just fucking perfect? Look how deep I’ve got him in you, doll. Can you feel it? Feel him throbbing inside you? That’s all me. Bet you love it! You’d let me do it again, wouldn’t you?”
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lee-laurent · 2 months ago
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A Love Like No Other - Quinn Hughes
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Summary: faye's whole life gets turned upside down
content: angst, pregnancy, making out, refrences to sex, dirty jokes, fluff, panic attacks, body image issues
wc: 17.8k
notes: i'll make a part 2 if you guys want! this took me ages
"I told you I'm fine, Mom," Faye sighed down the phone, continuing to highlight vocabulary words in her textbook.
"Are you sure? Your dad and I could make a trip to help out. Make sure things are-"
"Mom, you guys don't need to do that," Faye sat back in her chair, pressing her palm against the small but growing bump underneath her very oversized hoodie. It was always like this when her mom called--concern that bordered on suffocation.
"Well that Hughes boy isn't, so we just feel--"
"Quinn is busy, Mom. He's working," Faye gritted her teeth, trying to maintain her composure. It wasn't like Quinn could drop everything and come running every time she needed something. He had his own life...that was over 2,000 miles away.
"You and you're health should be his priority, Faye. It's not just about him anymore." Her mom's voice took on that disappointed edge, the one that always made Faye feel small. "You're carrying his baby and he's playing hockey like nothing has changed."
Faye squeezed her eyes shut, a wave of nausea washing over her and it wasn't entirely from the pregnancy. "I told you, he's helping in his own way. We talk. He's... trying." The words felt flimsy leaving her mouth. Like she was defending him way more than she needed to. Or maybe she was defending herself.
Her mom sighed. "I just want what's best for you, sweepea. Your senior year should be about school, not... this."
And there it was. The disappointment. The subtle reminder of everything Faye was now balancing. Projects, assignments, a baby growing inside her, and parents who could barely look at her the same way since she'd told them. It wasn't how things were supposed to go.
"I know, Mom," Faye sounded exhausted. "I've got it under control. I'm handling it." Even if some days it felt like she was hanging on by a thread.
"Okay. But remember, your dad and I are just a phone call away. If you need anything. Anything at all."
"I know." Faye swallowed back the lump in her throat. "I'll talk to you later, okay? I've got class in a bit."
"Alright, honey. Take care of yourself."
As Faye ended the call, she stared at the phone for a long moment, her thumb hovering over Quinn's name in her contact list. They hadn't talked much lately... not really. It was like there was an invisible wall between them, something neither of them knew how to address. Or maybe they just didn't want to.
She dropped the phone onto her desk and stood up, pushing away the overwhelming feelings of fear and isolation that were creeping in. She had class, a paper due, and a prenatal appointment next week. No time to fall apart.
Now how did Faye get into her current position? Well... it was quite the story.
~~
The early summer air had a way of making everything feel lighter. All anxieties faded into the background as the music thumped through the backyard. Faye hadn't planned on going to the party, but Ethan had insisted, dragging her away for one night relaxation.
She stepped into the crowded house, the smell of cheap beer and sweat hitting her like a wall. She scanned the room for familiar faces, relieved when she spotted a few of the hockey boys gathered around the kitchen table, laughing about something she couldn't hear over the noise.
"Faye!" Luca waved her over, a large smile on his face. "We're playing pong. You in?"
She smiled back, shaking her head. "Maybe later. I'm gonna grab something to drink first." She was already regretting not staying home.
She made her way over to a cooler, but a light tap on her shoulder made her turn around. She was met with a slightly familiar face. Quinn Hughes. She knew him from being friend's with Luke's friends. They'd met once before... maybe twice. She wasn't really sure. But he looked relaxed, a grin tugging at his lips, a beer in his hand.
"Hey, funny seeing you here," he said, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the music.
"Yeah, well, Luke and his friends can be persuasive," Faye replied with a light laugh.
Quinn raised an eyebrow, taking a sip of his drink. "You look like you could use something stronger than whatever's in that cooler."
Faye glanced at him, the casual way he leaned against the counter, his presence somehow more noticeable than the dozens of the other people crammed into the house. She bit her lip, weighing her options. It was just a drink at a party. "Maybe you're right," she smiled.
Quinn took her to take a shot with him. Then he went he passed her a cold beer from the fridge, a smile on his face. "They keep the good shit in the fridge."
She hestitated a second, but took it, their fingers brushing briefly in the exchange. "Thanks."
Quinn grabbed himself another beer, popping it open with ease. "So," he said, leaning back against the counter again, eyes on her, "what's a girl like you doing hanging out with a bunch of hockey degenerates?"
Faye laughed, taking a sip of her drink. "Oh, I've got connections," she said, nodding toward the group of guys still crowded around the table. "I'm friend's with your brother's old teammates. You know, the up-and-comers. Met them all first year."
"Up-and-comers, huh?" Quinn smirked. "That makes me feel old."
She raised an eyebrow, her lips turning up into a teasing smile. "You are old. What are you, like 23 now? And still hanging around college parties?"
Quinn let out a low laugh. "I've still got friends here, you know," he said, lifting his beer to his lips. "Besides, I'm not that old."
"Right, you're ancient," she teased. "At least for a college party."
"I'm not out of place. I mean, I can still outdrink everyone here," he leaned in slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. "Think you can keep up?"
"I think I can handle you, Hughes."
"Yeah? I like that."
She chuckled, feeling the lightness in the air between them, the chatter of the party fading into the background as they stood in their own little party. "So, does Vancouver know they've got an alcoholic captain, or is that a secret?"
Quinn put a hand on his chest in mock offence. "Alcoholic? You're really going for it tonight, huh?" He stepped closer, his voice dropping. "Maybe I can prove you wrong."
"Maybe," Faye challenged. She wasn't sure if it was the beer or the way his gaze lingered on hers, but she felt like the whole moment could turn any second. Her usual defences of casual flirting and trying to play it cool, felt harder to maintain with Quinn standing so close.
"You're bold. I like that."
"I try."
"Guess I'll have to step up my game," Quinn said, his eyes flicking down to her lips for just a second. She would've missed it if she blinked. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Faye's pulse raced as Quinn leaned in just enough for their faces to be meer inches apart.
"So," his voice was low and teasing, "are you always this hard to impress, or is just me?"
"Maybe I'm just waiting for you to do something impressive," she tilted her head.
"Alright," he said softly like it was a dare. "Let's see if I can impress you."
Before Faye could respond, Quinn's lips were on hers. The kiss started slow and tentative, but quickly deepened as the spark between them came to life. Faye's heart was racing, her hand reaching out instinctively to steady herself, fingers brushing against his chest. All she could focus on was the heat of Quinn's mouth on hers and the way his hand gently gripped her waist, pulling her closer.
When they broke apart, her breath was short, her pulse still sky-high. Quinn's forehead leaned softly against hers. "Impressed yet?"
"Not bad, Hughes. Not bad."
She glanced around the crowded kitchen, suddenly aware of the fact that they were still in the middle of a party, surrounded by people. Feeling a rush of adrenaline, she looked back at Quinn, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"You know," she started, her tone casual but with an unmistakable undertone of suggestion, "my place is just a couple blocks from here."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Faye replied, stepping back. "If you want to... get out of here."
Quinn didn't hesitate, his eyes still locked on her. "Lead the way."
With a smile, Faye took him by the hand, pulling him gently out the back door, the party fading away as they made their way down the street.
Faye walked alongside Quinn, her hand still loosely intertwined with his as they made their way down the quiet street to her apartment. The silence between them wasn't awkward. It was comfortable, a shared anticipation hanging in the air.
Faye fumbled with her keys for a second before getting the door unlocked. She held it open for Quinn, watching as he took in the cozy studio.
"Nice place."
"Thanks," Faye replied, her casual confidence from the party now felt a bit more fragile in her apartment.
He smiled at her, the same easy grin he'd worn all night, and for a second, she wondered if he was feeling just as unsure as she was.
"So... what now?"
Faye smirked, stepping closer. "I think we left off somewhere around here."
She reached up, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into another kiss. This was one deeper, hungrier, messier than the one they shared at the party. Neither of them was holding back anymore.
Quinn's hands found a place on her waist, tugging her flush against his body. The soft sounds of their breaths and the rustle of their clothes were the only sound filling the apartment. As the kiss intensified, Faye's hands slid into his hair as he pressed her against the wall. For a moment, she broke the kiss, breathing heavily with her forehead pressed against his.
"You good?" his voice carrying a hint of concern.
She nodded as she leaned in to kiss him again. This time softer and slower, savoring the moment. "I'm good," she whispered against his lips. Quinn smiled into the kiss, and they continued to her bed, the outside world disappearing completely.
~~
Faye lay back against her pillows, the sheets pulled loosely over her chest, her body still warm and buzzing. She glanced at Quinn, who was lying beside her, one arm slung over his eyes, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he caught his breath, his body covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
There was an unspoken understanding between them. It wasn't love. It wasn't anything serious. Just two people enjoying a night that neither of them had planned.
Quinn shifted, lowering his arm and turning his head to look at her, a lazy smile on his face. "So, you impressed yet?"
Faye couldn't help but laugh. "You're really fishing for compliments, huh?" she teased, nudging him with her foot under the blankets.
"Can't blame a guy for trying." He stretched, then slowly sat up, running a hand through his messy hair.
Faye propped herself up on her elbow, watching as he reached down for his jeans. "So... what's the plan now?"
Quinn shrugged, slipping on his jeans and glancing back at her. "I should probably get going," he said, pulling his t-shirt back over his head. "Got some stuff to take care of tomorrow." He looked at her as if he was deciding to say something else or not. But he decided against it.
Faye nodded, not feeling any kind of disappointment. It was exactly what she'd expected. "Yeah, makes sense," she pulled the sheets tighter around herself. "I've got summer class work to do anyway."
There was no need for goodbyes or long explanations. It had been fun, casual, uncomplicated. Just how it was supposed to be.
Quinn finished lacing his shoes and glanced back at her. "This was... cool."
"Yeah, it was. No strings, right?"
"No strings," he echoed, moving toward the door, hesitating just for a second before opening it. "Take care of yourself, Faye."
"You too, Hughes." The door softly clicked shut behind him.
Faye lay back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling, her mind clear. It had been a fun night--nothing more, nothing less.
~~
Faye sat at the edge of her bed, staring blankly at the white stick in her hands. Two pink lines.
She blinked, her mind desperately trying to catch up with what her eyes were seeing. Two lines. Not one. Two. Her stomach churned as the realization slowly set in, sending her world into a spin.
It couldn't be real.
She stood up suddenly, dropping the test on the floor like it had burned her hands. Her hands shook, and she pressed them to her face, trying to breathe, to calm the panic that was rising in her chest. It wasn't possible. She'd been careful. Mostly.
The memory of the night with Quinn flashed through her mind, quick and very much uninvited. The way they had laughed, kissed, fallen into bed with that easy, casual energy, no strings attached. And no condom either.
That night had been something she was supposed to leave behind. But now she couldn't.
Her phone buzzed on her nightstand, filling the silence of her room. Faye glanced at it, her heart skipping a beat when she saw her mom's name on the screen.
"Hey, Mom."
"Faye, sweetie! Just checking in. How's everything going? Classes good?" Her mom's voice was warm and cheerful, completely oblivious to what was storming in her daughter's head.
"Yeah, uh, everything's fine," Faye replied, her voice cracking slightly. She cleared her throat, trying to steady herself. "Just... busy, you know. Summer classes and all that."
"Well, I'm sure you're managing fine, like always." Her mom's voice was full of pride, but it only made Faye feel worse. If she knew... if she knew about this...
"Yeah." Her eyes darted back to the test lying on her bed. Those two pink lines taunting her, screaming at her that nothing was fine. "I'm managing."
She had to tell someone. Eventually. But not now. Not yet. Not when she had barely processed it herself. How could she explain it to her parents? To her friends? Hell, how was she going to tell Quinn?
Quinn.
Her heart dropped into her stomach at the thought of telling him. She barely knew him.
Her mom's voice broke through her spiraling thoughts. "Faye? Sweetie, are you sure you're okay? You sound... off."
"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied. "Just tired. I'll call you later, okay?"
There was a brief pause, but thankfully, her mom didn't press further. "Okay, honey. Just take care of youself. And remember if you need anything--"
"I know. Thanks, Mom. I'll talk to you later."
She dropped the phone on the bed and buried her face in her hands. She felt like she was suffocating. Her breath came in shallow gasps, and she fought to calm down, to push away the fear that was eating her whole.
Why was this happening? What was she going to do? How could she do senior year with a baby on the way? How was she going to tell her parents? And Quinn... what would she even say?
She had to think clearly. Step by step. She wasn't ready to tell anyone yet--not her parents, not her friends, not Quinn. But she had to talk to him. He deserved to know. No matter what she decided, he needed to be a part of this conversation.
But how?
They hadn't exactly exchanged numbers that night. Faye knew she could probably get his contact info from Luke's friends--Ethan or Luca--but how was she supposed to ask for his question without raising questions? She didn't want anyone knowing the reason why. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Her eyes flickered to the pregnancy test on the floor, the two lines staring back at her, a reminder of the secret she was now carrying alone.
~~
Faye tapped her fingers against her phone screen, staring at the group chat she had with some of the hockey guys she'd gotten close to over the years. She had to figure out how to word her request without making it obvious.
Hey, can I get Quinn's number? Totally normal, right?
She sighed, locking her phone and tossing it beside her. No matter how she phrased it, they'd ask questions. They'd want to know why she needed Quinn's number when she barely knew him. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to guess what was going on before she ahad the chance to figure it out herself.
There was no avoiding it. She had to talk to Quinn.
Her fingers flew over her keyboard before she could second-guess herself.
Faye: hey, does anyone have quinn's number? need to ask him something abt the canucks for a summer class project
Her heart raced as soon as she hit send, the lie hanging in the air. It wasn't a complete stretch--she was in communications, after all--but she felt a pang of guilt lying to her friends. Hopefully, they'd just let it go. No questions. No suspicion.
A few seconds later, her phone buzzed. It was Ethan.
Ethan: You need it for a project? That's kinda random, Faye. You good?
Of course he'd ask questions.
Faye: yeah, it's for a case study thing about sports teams. i figured since i knew some of you guys, i could reach out to a player i've actually met instead of just cold-calling some rando
Ethan: Makes sense, I guess. Hang on, I'll ask Lukey boy for it
At least he seemed to be buying her story now. She stared at her phone, her nerves making it feel like ages before he responded.
Ethan: Here you go. Don't tell Quinn I gave it to you for a project tho. He'll probs think it's weird lol
Followed by Quinn's number.
She copied his number and created a new contact. Staring at his name on her screen felt like she was a step closer to the edge of something terrifying and unknown. She couldn't just sit on it. She had to text him.
But what could she say? "Hey remember me? We hooked up, and oh, by the way, I'm pregnant"? It was ridiculous, but she had to start somewhere.
Faye: hey, it's faye. we met at the hockey house like a month and a half ago. can we talk?
Her heart pounded in her chest as she stared at the screen, waiting for the three little dots to appear. But they didn't. A few minutes passed. Nothing.
Maybe he was busy. Or maybe he didn't even remember her. Either way, she'd have to figure out something soon. She couldn't just not think about this. She had to handle it.
But all she could do for the time being was wait.
~~
Quinn had just gotten back from training with Jack and Luke at a gym near their home in Michigan. All he wanted to do was crash on the couch, maybe play a round of 'chel with his brothers or scroll through his phone before taking a long nap. The grind was constant during the offseason, but he liked to be busy.
He slumped onto the couch, grabbing his phone to check if he'd missed anything during his practice session. That's when he noticed a text from a number he didn't have saved.
Faye? He had to think about it for a second before it clicked. She was an acquaintance of Luke's, someone he'd hooked up with at that party he went to at Umich. He hadn't really thought about it much since then--it had been a one-night stand. Just one night of fun.
But the way her message was phrased didn't seem like a casual "what's up" kinda text. Something about it felt off. So, he replied quickly.
Quinn: Yeah, I remember. What's up?
Faye: can we talk? it's kinda important
Important? His heart raced. She hadn't been weird that night. They'd both agreed it was just a one and done kinda deal. Maybe she needed something. Maybe it was something about Luke, or-- No, it was probably nothing.
Quinn: Sure, what's going on?
Faye: i don't really wanna do this over text. can i call you?
He sat up the straighter on the couch, his heart beating faster. This wasn't normal. Faye didn't sound like she was asking for a favour. His fingers hovered over the screen, before he typed back his response, thinking of the best wording.
Quinn: Yeah, I can talk. Gimme a sec. I'll call you
He headed up to his room, closing the door. He assumed it wasn't a conversation he wanted to have in the living room where his brothers and parents could hear. His gut told him that whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good. Maybe she had crabs or something. He tapped the call button, and after a few rings, Faye picked up.
"Hey."
"Hey." Her voice sounded different. Shaky, like she was trying to keep herself together.
"So... what's going on?" he asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, waiting for her to speak.
There was a long pause on the other end, and he was considering checking to see if the line had dropped.
"I... I don't really know how to say this," Faye said finally, her voice faltering. "But I'm just going to say it."
He could practically hear her breathing heavily on the other end. He waited, his nerves eating him alive.
"I'm pregnant."
For a second, he didn't move, didn't say anything. His brain was still trying to process what he'd just heard. Pregnant? Did she just say she was... no, surely he just heard wrong.
"What?" his mind was struggling to keep up. "What did you say?"
"I'm pregnant, Quinn." Her voice was steadier, though she still sounded just as scared as he felt. "And it's yours."
Quinn's thoughts raced, spinning out of control. He plus thundered in his ear, drowning out anything else she was saying. How? How could this be happening? They'd only hooked up once. They'd been... no they hadn't. Shit. Once was all it took.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Quinn? Are you still there?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here." His voice sounded far away, even to himself.
Pregnant?
"Are you sure?" The question slipped out before he could stop himself, and he winced as soon as the words left his mouth. Of course, she's sure.
"I took two tests, but I, uh, I'll schedule an appointment with the campus clinic. I... I just found out today."
"Holy shit," he muttered under his breath. This was... a lot. He ran his hand through his hair again, pulling at the roots. He hadn't spoken to Faye since that night. And she was pregnant? With his baby?
"Yeah."
Neither of them really knew what to say. Quinn's brain was flipping through every possible scenario. His hockey career, his family, his entire future. Everything was crashing down on him at once.
"So what now?" he finally asked.
"I don't know," Faye admitted. "I'm still processing it, honestly. I haven't told anyone yet... you're the first."
The thought of being the first person she had told, hit him harder than he could have expected. He swallowed hard, a sense of responsibility creeping in even through the shock. He might not know Faye well, but it wasn't just about him anymore.
She's pregnant with his baby. His.
"I'm keeping it... I think. Like I know this is a lot, but I'm going to keep the baby."
He knew what he had to say next, even if he didn't fully understand it yet.
"I'll be there," he said suddenly, even catching himself off guard. "I mean... I'll help however I can. I'll be there for you. For the baby."
Faye was quiet for a moment, and Quinn was worried that he'd said the wrong thing.He barely knew her. How could he promise something like that? But the thought of leaving her all alone to deal with this felt wrong. Even if they weren't together, it was his responsibility too.
"You don't have to say that. I'm not asking for anything."
"No, I mean it. I'll be there. I don't know how, but... I'll, uh, figure it out." He rubbed the back of his neck, the weight of the situation settling on his shoulders.
"I appreciate that," she replied softly. "I know this is... a lot. I didn't mean to just spring it on you like this, but I didn't really know what else to do."
"It's okay," Quinn lied. "I'm glad you told me."
There was another long pause, the air between them feeling more and more awkward. This was just the beginning of a conversation that was going to change everything for them.
"So, I guess... we'll figure this out?" Quinn said, trying to make it sound like he had some clue of what came next.
"Yeah. We figure this out."
He stared at his phone long after the call ended, his thumb still hovering over the screen like he might call her back, as if there was more he could say.
I'm pregnant. And it's yours.
He leaned back against his headboard, eyes unfocused, staring at nothing in particular. How had his life changed so quickly? One minute he was gearing up for summer training, focusing on hockey, and the next... he was going to be a father.
Father. The word made his stomach churn. He wasn't ready for that. Hell, he could barely manage taking care of himself, let alone another tiny human. How was he supposed to do this?
Nothing made sense. They hadn't spoken since that night. Just some stupid drunken hookup. He believed her when she said it was. But there was a part of him, a part of him that felt like a dick to say it, but what if it was another guy's. Was she 100% sure it was his? What if she asked for paternity test? No, that was too far. Way too far.
His phone buzzed. But it was a group text from Jack, something about dinner in a bit. He couldn't deal with that right now. He wasn't ready to face his brothers, or anyone for that matter. What would he even say. What could he even say?
Hey, guys, by the way, I just found out I'm going to be a dad.
He stood up abruptly, pacing his bedroom. What would his parents say? What would Luke say when he found out it was Faye? What about his team? Could this mess up his career? It was only his second season of captaincy. He couldn't take a break to look after a pregnant college student.
He stopped, standing in front of his dresser, his hands gripping the edge of the wood. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and he barely recognized himself. His face was pale, his hair a mess, his eyes wide with panic.
I'm going to be a dad. The thought sent a new wave of anxiety crashing over him. He didn't know the first thing about babies or fatherhood. He hadn't planned for this. He wasn't ready for this. But it didn't matter anymore. Faye was already pregnant.
Quinn's phone buzzed again, this time with a message from Faye.
thanks for taking my call. i know it was a lot. but we will figure this out
Figure it out. Easier said than done. His first instinct was to respond, to say something reassuring. But what? The words just didn't come. He didn't want to lie to her. He wasn't even sure he knew how to be the person that she needed.
He didn't respond. Unable to deal with it then. He needed time. Time to think. Time to process. Time to figure out how he was gonna make this work.
He sat back on his bed, his legs bouncing. He thought about his parents. How disappointed they'd be, how they'd probably give him the "we're here for you, but you messed up" speech. He thought about Faye, about how scared she must be, and how, despite everything, she'd told him first. Not her friends. Not her family. Him.
That alone felt like some sort of strange responsibility. She could ever kept it to herself, could have avoided telling him until much later, but she hadn't. Now he was all in. Whether he was ready or not.
Saying that he'd be there for her and the baby was easy in the moment. But now he wasn't so sure. Could he be a dad while balancing everything else in his life?
He needed to talk to someone. Jack? Luke? No, not yet. He wasn't ready for that conversation. He couldn't handle their reactions, not while he was still freaking out. His phone buzzed again, a call this time. From Jack. He didn't answer, instead placing his phone under his pillow. He let out a few long, shaky breaths.
For now, all he could do was wrap his head around it. He had made a promise to Faye, and no matter how scared he was, he couldn't back out of it now. But what came next? He had no idea.
~~
Faye stared at the stack of textbooks on her desk, the words blurring together as she rubbed her eyes. It had only been a couple weeks since the semester had started, but she already felt like she was drowning. Her professors had no idea what she was going through, and she wasn't exactly in a rush to tell them. The fewer people that knew, the better.
She rested her hand lightly on her stomach, feeling the slight curve under her shirt. If anything it looked like she was very, slightly bloated. It wasn't very obvious. Three months. It was still early, but she could feel the changes. The nausea, the exhaustion, how she felt like napping after walking 15 minutes to class. How was she supposed to handle this? Classes, assignments, the baby? It was all too much.
Her phone buzzed on her desk with a message from Quinn.
How're you feeling? Everything good?
Quinn had been checking in regularly since she'd told him, but their conversations were brief. Surface-level. He was busy with training camp and preseason stuff in Vancouver, and she was busy trying to keep her head above water in Michigan. They lived in two differernt worlds, and no matter how many times he texted, the distance between them felt impossible to bridge.
Faye: tired. got a ton of work. but i'm good
She typed the words quickly, not wanting to burden him with how she was actually feeling. What was the point? He had his own life, his own career to focus on. Besides, she had immediate problems... like how she was going to tell her parents. They knew something was off. They'd been calling more often, asking questions, but she kept brushing them off, making excuses. She wasn't ready to face their disappointment. Not yet.
There was a knock at her door. Her friend and neighbour, Casey, peeked her head in. "Hey, you okay? You've been quiet lately."
"Yeah, just tired. I have a ton of work to do."
"You sure? You've been looking... kinda pale lately."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just stressed, Cas."
"Okay, well, I'm just down the hall if you need anything."
Faye exhaled slowly as her friend left, her fingers brushing her stomach. Soon, more people would start asking questions, and she wasn't ready with answers.
~~
Quinn scrolled through his phone, staring at Faye's message. "tired. got a ton of work. but i'm good." He frowned, feeling the distance betwen them more and more everyday. He'd been checking in, but their conversations were always short. It wasn't enough. But how could it be when he was over 2,000 miles away?
Training camp had just started, and the pressure was already mounting. It was his second year as captain, and everyone had expectations--his coaches, his teammates, his friends, his family. There was barely time to breathe, let along figure out fatherhood.
He didn't know how to be there for Faye. Every time he texted, he just felt like he was checking off a box. He really did want to do more, but how? He was stuck there and there wasn't room for distractions.
But Faye wasn't a distraction. She was... something else.
His phone buzzed again. This time with a message from Petey.
Dinner in 10?
Quinn sighed, pushing himself off the couch. He didn't feel like going out, but avoiding his friends wasn't going to solve anything. He needed to keep his head straight. Focus. But even as he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door, his mind stayed on Faye.
~~
The phone call from her mom came earlier than expected.
"Faye," her mom's voice was laced with concern. "Honey, are you okay? You've been so distant lately. Your dad and I are worried."
She'd been dodging this conversation for weeks, but there was no avoiding it now. Her parents knew something was wrong, and she couldn't keep hiding.
"I'm fine, Mom." Her voice cracked, and she knew her mom had picked up on it.
"You don't sound fine, sweetpea. Is something going on? School? Your health? Please talk to me."
Faye closed her eyes, there was no easy way to do this. "Mom, there's something I need to tell you."
"Okay. Go ahead."
"I'm... I'm pregnant."
The silence on the other end was deafening. Her mom didn't say anything for what felt like forever, and when she finally spoke, her voice was tight. "What? Faye, what are you talking about?"
"I'm pregnant," Faye repeated. "I just... I didn't know how to tell you."
"With who, Faye? Who's the father?"
Faye hesitated, her heart racing. "Quinn."
"Your friend Luke's brother? The hockey player?" She sounded shocked.
"Yes."
Her mom's voice hardened. "Faye, how could let this happen? How could you throw your future away like this?"
"I didn't mean for it to happen. It just... did."
"But now you're stuck," her mom snapped. "This boy has completely derailed your life. Your senior year, your future--all of it, gone! Poof! What is he going to do about it, huh? Keep playing hockey like nothing happened?"
Faye bit her lip, holding back her tears. "He's trying to help. He's... he's going to be there."
"Be there?" her mom scoffed. "How? He's in Vancouver, Faye? You think he's going to stop everything and come running every time you need him? You're fooling yourself."
"I'm handling it, Mom. I'm figuring it out."
"You shouldn't have to figure this out. He should be stepping up, Faye. You deserve better than this."
Faye couldn't say anything. Her mom was angry, but more than that, she was disappointed. And that was the worst part. No matter how much Faye wanted to believe she could handle this on her own, the reality of it was that she knew she couldn't.
The call came late that night, after Quinn had had dinner with Brock and Petey. He'd just gotten home when his phone buzzed with a call from Faye.
"I told my parents."
Quinn sat down, his heart racing. "How'd they take it?"
"They're pissed. They think you've ruined my life. My mom... she think I'm throwing my future away."
Guilt settled in Quinn's stomach. "Faye, I'm sorry. I didn't--"
"I know you didn't mean for this to happen. But I'm the one who has to deal with them. You're not here."
The words stung, even though he knew they weren't meant to hurt. Faye was right. He was in Vancouver, while she was stuck dealing with things on her own.
"I'm trying, Faye. I want to help. I just... don't know how."
"I know. But it's hard. And I'm scared."
Her voice cracked at the end and Quinn felt his heart break. He hated that she going through it all alone, but he didn't know what to do to help.
"We'll figure it out, okay?"
"Yeah."
But the words felt hollow. Like she'd given up on him being there. And Quinn knew that "figuring it out" was going to be a lot harder than either of them realized.
~~
It was mid-term season and campus somehow seemed quieter. The October air had settled, bringing out heavier coats and the crunch of fall leaves. Faye at her desk, trying to focus on her computer, but all she could think about was how tight her jeans felt that morning.
She had switched to only wearing oversized sweaters and hoodies to hide her growing bump. The baby had started to feel more real over the last few days. Her morning sickness had faded for the most part, but now her back had a constant ache. She was falling behind on assignments, skipping study sessions, and avoiding her friends. She couldn't keep pretending everything was normal. Her mom had been encouraging her to go to student services and tell them about her situation. Apparently the school was supposed to help pregnant students and students with children.
Quinn: You okay? Haven't heard from you in four days
It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Quinn--it was just that every time they texted, she felt like she was letting him down by not being stronger, by not being more put together. He was busy with hockey and she was trying not to let her life fall apart all the time.
Faye: yeah, just busy with school. midterms
It was mostly the truth, she was drowning in schoolwork but most of it was that her body was changing faster than she could keep up with. She'd gone up two entire bra cup sizes in a month and new ones were not cheap. But she felt like that was a weird detail to drop on Quinn. Her mom said it wasn't, since he was the father of her child, but Faye disagreed.
She felt more isolated than ever, and she felt that that feeling would just get worse the further along she was. She needed to tell her friends still and it was just a matter of time until someone noticed something was up.
~~
Faye had been invited to the hockey house for a movie night. If she said no they'd definitely know something was up, because she never missed a movie night with the guys. Bowls of popcorn and beers were spread out across the coffee table, and the TV blasted with some shit horror movie they'd found.
Faye had a watter bottle in her hand, keeping it close to her chest, hoping nobody would notice she wasn't drinking. But she could feel their eyes on her already. It wasn't the first time she'd skipped drinking during their hangouts, but the guys didn't want her to think they were peer pressuring her.
"Hey, Faye," Dylan called out. "What's with the water? You've been off booze for weeks."
She glanced at him, then quickly at the others, who were all staring and waiting for an explanation.
"I just... haven't felt like drinking."
But Ethan shook his head, setting down his beer. "Come on, Faye. You haven't felt like drinking since the summer. That's not the Faye we know and love."
"You've been distant. Is something going on?" Mark added.
Time to come clean. She took a deep breath, setting her water bottle down on the table. "I... I need to tell you guys something."
"What is it, Faye?"
She looked down at her hands, lifting up the bottom of her sweater. Her heart pounded in her chest. "I'm pregnant."
"Wait... what?" Dylan asked, blinking in shock. "You're pregnant."
"Yeah. I'm almost four months."
"Four months? Did you get with someone at the party? Last person I saw you talking with was..."
"It's Quinn's?"
"Yeah. It's Quinn's."
"Holy shit, Faye. That's... wow."
"I know," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I didn't know how to tell you guys. I didn't want you to look at me differently."
"Faye, we're your friends. We're here to help you, support you. Not to judge you. You don't need to go through this alone."
"Thanks, guys. I, uh, I'm not fully alone. My parents know. And Quinn. He's... trying to be supportive."
"Does Luke know?"
"Not if Quinn didn't tell him. Luke and I don't really talk that much."
The looks of concern on their faces, the way they were all pitying her made her stomach hurt. She hated it. She didn't want people to be sorry for her. She just wanted everyone to act like things were normal, even thought things would never be the same.
"I need some air," she sighed, grabbing her jacket.
~~
Luke was laying on the couch, scrolling through his phone when he saw a text from Ethan come through.
Ethan: Hey man, Faye just told the group she's pregnant. It's Quinn's apparently. Didn't know they were seeing each other ngl
Luke blinked, rereading the text a few times to make sure he read it correctly. Faye was pregnant? And Quinn was the dad? Quinn hadn't told him he was going to be a dad, let alone that he was seeing Faye.
Luke: You serious? Quinn never said anything???
Ethan: Yeah, dude. She's almost four months along. She showed us the bump. Seemed legit
Without thinking he pulled up Quinn's contact, shooting him a message.
Luke: What the hell man? Why didn't you tell me that you're seeing Faye and that she's pregnant???
Quinn’s stomach dropped as he stared at Luke’s text. His chest tightened with guilt--a guilt he had been pushing to the side for weeks. He hadn’t told Luke, hadn’t told his parents. Hell, he hadn’t even processed it himself. But the truth was out now, and the window to figure things out on his own was gone. He decided to call Luke, instead of texting about it.
"Hey."
"Hey? That's all you have to say after I just found out you're dating one of my college friends and she's pregnant?"
"We... we're not dating. We hooked up at that party the hockey guys threw. Look, I know I should've told you. I just... yeah."
"How about starting with the fucking truth?" Luke scoffed. "You haven't told you family? You can't keep that kinda shit from us."
"I know. I'm going to tell everyone. I just... had to figure shit out with Faye first."
"Next family FaceTime. You should tell everyone. Mom and Dad will help out... probably."
Luke was right. Secret was out and if he didn't tell the family soon, someone else would. He had to tell them sooner rather than later.
~~
Quinn sat in front of his laptop, staring blankly at the screen. His family's faces were staring back at him through the familiar layout of their family FaceTime session. Jim and Ellen in one square, Jack and Luke in another. He hadn't added much to the conversation yet, just letting out a couple half-hearted laughs when someone cracked a joke.
Luke had been on his case all week. Ever since the news had been handed to Luke through his friends, Quinn had felt like his walls were closing in on him. He wondered if that's how Faye felt too.
Ellen was in the middle of asking Jack and Luke about their latest game when Quinn cleared his throat. "Hey, guys," his voice was much more strained than he'd planned. "There's something I need to tell you guys."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "What's up, Quinn?"
He had rehearsed this a hundred times in his head, but the words were stuck in his throat now that he had to say it out loud. He glanced at Luke, who just gave me a slight nod.
"I, um... I'm going to be a dad."
Ellen blinked, her smile faltering. "Wait... what?"
"I... Faye, one of Luke's friends from Umich, she's pregnant. I'm the dad."
Jack was the first to react, his eyes wide. "Holy shit, Quinn. You serious?"
"Yeah. She's almost four months."
Ellen pressed a hand to her chest. "Oh my god, Quinn. Why didn't you tell us sooner?"
"I didn't know how. I've been trying to figure things out with Faye, but... it's been really hard."
"Quinn, this is big. Have you thought about how you're going to handle this and your career?" Jim asked.
"Yeah, I'm still working through it all. Faye's in Michigan and I'm here, so... I'm just trying to be supportive."
"Oh, sweetheart. We'll help however we can. I wish you would've come to us sooner. You don't have to go through this alone. And neither does Faye. We'd be more than happy to help her out."
Quinn nodded, appreciating his mom's comforting words. He hadn't figured out how he was going to balance everything--hockey, the pregnancy, his future with Faye and the baby--but at least his family knew now.
"You did the right thing, Quinn," Luke nodded.
~~
Faye stood in front of the mirror, smoothering her hands over her flowly tank top. She had agreed to a girls' night out after they'd all finished their midterms, and she was really planning on making it through the night without raising any suspicions. Her friends, Casey and Sarah, were already getting ready, throwing clothes around her apartment and laughing.
Faye had told them she wasn't going to drink because alcohol made her stomach hurt--which wasn't technically a lie. But it also wasn't the whole truth. She was trying to pull her favourite pair of jeans on, only realizing that they didn't button up.
She stared down at the small gap between the button and the buttonhole, her hands trembling. That was it. None of her jeans fit anymore.
"Faye, you almost ready?" Sarah called from the bathroom, sticking her head out as she did her hair. "We're running late!"
"Yeah. Just... gimme a minute."
She stood there, her hands still on the waistband of her jeans. Casey walked over, her eyes scanning Faye's reflection in the mirror. "Did you like... get a boob job or something?" she asked, half-joking. "You look different."
Faye wanted to brush it off with a laugh and make up a lie, but when she glanced at her reflection all she wanted to do was cry. Her body was changing too much, everyone would notice soon.
"I, um..." she bit her lip, her hands falling from her jeans. "No, I didn't get a boob job."
Casey frowned, picking up on Faye's seriousness. "What's going on? You've been acting so weird recently."
Faye exhaled slowly, her eyes stinging with tears she'd been holding back for weeks. She turned to face Casey, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm pregnant."
Casey's eyes went wide, and Sarah, who had just stepped out of the bathroom, froze, her mouth falling open.
"You're... pregnant?"
"Yeah. Four months."
Sarah walked closer, the initial shock wearing off. "Faye, why didn't you tell us? You've been dealing with this all by yourself?"
"I'm just really tired of people seeing my differently. I wanted some normalcy."
"We're not going to look at you differently. You're our friend."
Sarah nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Faye. You're not going through this alone."
"Thank you," she whispered. "I didn't know what to say. Everything's been... changing so fast."
Sarah smiled, giving her a hug. "We're here, okay? Whatever you need."
Casey grinned, her usual humour shining through. "Besides, you look pretty damn good for a mom-to-be. I mean, your tits look fucking amazing."
Faye laughed through the tears. "Thanks, I guess. But they hurt like hell all the time."
"Now, come on. Let's go out! Even if you're not drinking, you deserve a night out."
Faye nodded, digging through her drawers to find a pair of pants that fit and went with her outfit. At least she wasn't hiding from her friends anymore.
~~
The ticking of the clock and the rerun episode of something on HGTV filled the waiting room as Faye sat in an uncomfortable, plastic chair. Her 16-week appointment. She had been dreading this one for some reason, even though she knew it was supposed to be one of the more exciting ones.
It wasn't that she wasn't excited to hear the baby's heartbeat--she was. But there was something about all the changes she was facing that made her uneasy. She had been feeling more emotional lately, the hormones sending her on a rollercoaster ride. And her body? That was a whole other issue.
None of her pants, except for stretch-band waisted ones, fit. Her skin was breaking out like she was in high school again, and the weight gain was starting to show in more than just her belly. It was making her self-conscious in a way she'd never been before. She knew it was all part of journey, but it didn't make it any easier.
"Faye Brooks?"
The nurse's voice pulled her out of her head, and Faye stood up, wiping her sweaty palms on her leggings as she followed the woman into the exam room.
"Let's get you weighed," the nurse said cheerfully, like it was no big deal.
Faye stepped on the scale, trying to avoid looking at the number that popped up, but the nurse read it out anyway. "Looks like you've gained about eight pounds since your last appointment. That's good--right on track."
Eight pounds. Her stomach churned. She knew that gaining weight was inevitable, but hearing the actual number sucked ass. She stepped down, forcing a smile. "Right."
The nurse led her to a small room, where she lay back on the table, her shirt pulled up over her belly. The bump was more prominent, although she could probably still get away with saying she was extremely bloated. The nurse prepared the ultrasound equipment and Faye tried to calm her nerves. This was supposed to be a happy moment. She was going to hear her baby's heartbeat for the first time.
The gel toucher her skin, and she shivered. She closed her eyes, waiting for the sound, the moment that would make things even more real... if that was possible.
And then it happened.
The steady, rhythmic thump, thump, thump filled the room, and she swore her heart stopped. The baby. Her baby. It was real. She blinked back tears, unable to stop the happiness that surged through her.
"That's your baby's heartbeat. Nice and strong."
Faye smiled through the tears. For the first time in weeks, the stress of school faded away. The pimples, the weight gain, the cravings--they didn't matter. All that mattered was that her baby was healthy.
"Would you like some ultrasound photos to take home?" the nurse asked.
Faye nodded quickly. "Yes, please."
She couldn't wait to send the little black-and-white photos to Quinn. He wasn't there, and that still made her heart ache, but at least he could see the baby in the photos. She grabbed her phone as soon as the nurse handed the pictures to her.
Faye: just heard the heartbeat for the first time. sending you the photos :)
~~
Quinn was in the middle of a film session with the team when his phone buzzed. He normally ignored texts during meetings, but when he saw it was Faye, he felt that he had to answer. He quickly checked the message, his breath catching when he saw the words: just heard the heartbeat for the first time
Attached were three ultrasound photos. His baby. He stared at them for a couple minutes, barely listening to the meeting anymore. He hadn't been there with her, but seeing the phots made everything feel a bit better.
Quinn: Wow. That's amazing, Faye! Wish I could've been there
God, he wished he could be there.
~~
Faye left the clinic with the photos tucked in her backpack. She felt so much joy hearing her baby's heartbeat, relief that everything was going well, but also frustration with everything happening to her body.
Her cravings had gotten stranger--pickles with vanilla ice cream, enough strawberries to feed a small town, peanut butter on everything--and her emotions were all over the place. Some days, she felt like crying over nothing. Other days, she was just restless. Her sex drive had skyrocketed, which was great since she wasn't seeing anyone and Quinn was in fucking Vancouver.
It sucked. She wasn't about to start dating while pregnant, but the hormones had her feeling much more needy than she was comfortable with. She tried to push those kind of thoughts aside, but when she was laying in bed at night, she couldn't help but wish Quinn was there with her.
That night, she stood in front of her bathroom mirror, staring at herself. She tugged at her shirt, trying to flatten it over her belly, sucking in as much as she could. But even when she sucked in, she wasn't as thin as she was pre-pregnancy. Her skin was breaking out, a cluster of pimples along her hairline and on her chin. Her hips were wider, her thighs thicker, and her favourite clothes didn't fit the way they used to.
She felt... ugly.
Her phone buzzed on the counter. It was a reply from Quinn. He'd asked for a 'bump-date.'
Quinn: You look beautiful. I know this is hard, but you're amazing. Can't wait to meet our baby
Quinn always knew how to say the right thing, but it didn't make the insecurities go away. She was grateful for his support, but it wasn't enough to make her feel better about the changes happening to her body. She was supposed to feel strong and capable, but she felt was out of control.
She sighed, placing a hand on her bump. "We've got a long way to go," she whispered to the baby. "But I'm doing this for you."
~~
Faye sat at the back of the lecture hall, her arms folded over her stomach. It was the same spot she always sat in, tucked away in the corner where fewer people could see her. But even when she tried to disappear, she couldn't shake the feeling that everyone was staring at her.
With her belly starting to show more and more, and her face breaking out into what felt like a million pimples, she felt like a different person. She no longer looked like herself. Every time she caught her reflection in a window or glanced down at her swollen feet, she wondered where the old Faye had gone. The Faye that felt comfortable wearing the shortest mini skirt and tank top to a party.
She tugged at the hem of her Wolverines hoodie, trying to cover her stomach more. People were definitely noticing. She could feel their eyes on her when she walked through campus, feel their whispers following her as she sat down in class or waited in line at the coffee shop.
It wasn't just that she was pregnant. It was that she was pregnant, in college, and very much not in a relationship. Every time she passed a group of students, she imagined what they were thinking. Is she a single mom? Did the dad ditch her? What's her story? She hated it.
By the time class ended, Faye felt like she was suffocating. She gathered her things quickly, keeping her head down as she hurried out of the lecture hall. She was halfway home when her phone buzzed.
Sarah: girls night at my place tonight! you in?
Normally, she loved hanging out with her girlfriends, but lately, she'd been so tired, so emotional, that the idea of socializing just felt exhausting. But she also didn't want to push her friends away. They were one of the few things keeping her grounded.
Faye: yeah, i'll come by
At least she had friends. They didn't look at her with pity or judgement--at least, not in the way that she imagined other people did. They just supported her. And that's all she needed.
~~
Sarah's apartment was warm and inviting, the smell of freshly baked cookies filling the air as Faye stepped inside. She shrugged off her coat, glancing at her friends already lounging on the couch with wine glasses in hand.
"Hey, girl!" Casey waved her over. "We saved you a seat!"
Faye smiled, making her way to the couch. She was grateful for the normalcy her friends provided. She sat down, tucking her legs under herself, and reached for the glass of water Sarah had already set out for her. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to her.
"So," Sarah smiled. "Tell us what's new. How're you feeling?"
She wasn't sure how honest she wanted to be? How was she feeling? She felt like shit. Her body wasn't her own anymore between all her side effects, but she didn't want to bring the mood down.
"I'm... okay. Tired. Hungry all the time. You know, the usual."
Casey raised an eyebrow. "Girl, you've been looking tired. No offence, but your skin's been freaking out lately. Did you change your skincare routine or something?"
Faye bit her lip, trying to push her self-conscious thoughts aside. "Yeah, it's the hormones. I can't seem to keep up."
"That sucks, but you still look amazing."
She was trying to stay positive, but the truth was, she'd never felt more disconnected from herself. This wasn't her. The Faye she knew wasn't tired, overly emotional, or super uncomfortable in her own body. And the worst part? She had no idea when--or if--she's ever feel like herself again.
~~
Quinn stared at the ultrasound photos on his phone again, a grin tugging at his lips. He had saved the images Faye had sent him and found himself looking at them whenever he had a quiet moment.
The baby. His baby. It still felt surreal at times, but whenever he looked at the black-and-white photos, a wave of excitement washed over him. This was real. The tiny little being in those pictures was growing inside Faye, and even thousands of miles away, he felt connected to it.
He scrolled through the photos one more time before pulling up the family group chat. He hesitated for a second, then decided it was time. His family had been asking about the baby since he told them, and now he actually had something to share.
Quinn: Hey guys, just got some ultrasound pics from Faye. Meet baby Hughes :)
He attached the photos and leaned back on the couch, waiting for the answers to come through. And it didn't take long.
Jack: Holy shit! That's so cool!
Mom: Oh, Quinn, that's amazing! Look at that little face! I can't wait to meet them
Dad: Proud of you, Quinn. Keep us updated
Warmth spread through Quinn's chest as he read their responses. Even though he wasn't physically with Faye, sharing those moments with his parents made him feel like he was more of a part of the journey. It made him feel less alone.
He sent Faye a quick text.
Quinn: Shared the ultrasounds pics with the fam. They're all super excited. How're you feeling?
He knew she was struggling, but every time he asked, she shrugged him off. He was trying his best. He was falling more in love with the idea of being a dad every day. He still had to figure out how to be there for Faye though.
Faye: i'm... okay. just feeling kind of off ngl. don't really feel like myself anymore
Quinn: I get it. But you're doing amazing, Faye. You're strong, even if you don't feel like it. Wish I could be there
She appreciated the support, but right now, no amount of reassurance was going to make her feel like herself again.
~~
It was late, and Faye was curled up on the couch, flipping absentmindedly though a textbook she wasn't really planning on reading. She felt like she hadn't had a moment to relax recently. She sighed, shifting uncomfortably. He back had been aching all day, and felt an unfamiliar tightness in her lower belly.
She placed a hand on her stomach, furrowing her brow. The sensation wasn't painful exactly, but it felt... strange. A dull pressure that came in waves. She tried to brush it off, assuming it was just another pregnancy symptom she wasn't familiar with. But the tightness came again, stronger this time, making her sit up straight.
Something didn't feel right.
The pressure intensified again, her belly growing hard under her hand. Panic surged through her. This wasn't normal. It couldn't be normal. Was she going into labour? The baby wasn't due for months--she was only 20 weeks along.
Another wave of tightness hit her, and this time it was even more painful. She grabbed her phone, hands trembling as she dialed Quinn's number.
Quinn was getting ready for bed when his phone rang. When he glanced down and saw Faye's name, his heart skipped a beat. It was late where she was, and they hadn't planned on talking that night.
"Faye? What's going on?"
"I- I don't know," her voice was shaky and strained. "Something's wrong. I keep feeling this pressure in my stomach... I don't know what's happening, Quinn. What if the baby's coming too early?"
"What? Are you sure? How bad is it?"
"I don't know!" she cried, her panic rising. "I've never been pregnant before. What if something's wrong?"
Quinn's mind immediately went into overdrive. He wanted to be calm for her, but the fear that something was wrong with the baby made his pulse pound in his head. He needed to be there. He needed to help.
"Okay, okay, listen. You need to get to the hosptial. I'll book the next flight out."
"But Quinn, it's so far away--"
"I'm coming. I'll be there as soon as I can. Go to the hospital and let them check you out. Everything's going to be okay." He hoped his words sounded more confident than he felt.
"Okay. I'll call you when I get there."
"Text me as soon as you're on your way. I'll be there as soon as I can."
He hung up and immediately pulled up flight options on his phone. He mind was racing, fear settling deep in his gut. What if something was wrong with the baby? What if Faye was going into premature labour?
He fired off a text to his coach, explaining the situation. Within minutes he had a response telling him to go to Michigan. That they'd be fine if he missed two days of practice for his baby.
~~
The hospital smelled sterile, and Faye felt her nerves buzzing as she sat on the exam table. Her hands were clenched in her lap and every slight tightening of her belly made her wince.
She had texted Quinn when she had arrived and he was already on his way to the airport. Finally, the door opened, and the doctor entered the room, offering her a calm smile.
"Faye, hi. I hear you've been experiencing some discomfort," the doctor said as she sat down beside her, pulling on a pair of gloves.
"Yeah. I've been having these weird contractions or something. I don't know. I'm only 20 weeks..."
"Let's take a look."
As the doctor examined her, her breath came in short, shallow bursts, her nerves eating her alive. But after a few moments, the doctor straightened up, her smile reassuring.
"It looks like you're experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions. They're often called 'practice contractions.' They're not harmful, and it doesn't mean you're going into labour."
"So... I'm okay? The baby's okay?"
"Yes! Everything looks normal. It's common to experience these at some point in your pregnancy. It can be uncomfortable, but it's nothing to worry about."
Faye let out a shaky laugh. "Oh my god... I thought I was going into labour."
The doctor chuckled. "No, not at all. Just keep an eye on things, but everything's perfectly fine."
As soon as the doctor left, Faye texted Quinn.
Faye: false alarm. it's just braxton hicks. baby's okay. everything's okay
~~
Quinn's flight landed early the next morning, and as soon as he stepped off, he checked to see if Faye had texted. Relief flooded his chest, but even knowing things were okay, he still needed to see her. When she opened the door, she looked exhausted. Her eyes were puffy from lack of sleep, and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. Quinn didn't care. He pulled her into a hug, feeling the tension leave his body the second he held her.
"I was so scared," he admitted.
"Me too," Faye whispered, clinging to him. "I thought something was really wrong."
Quinn pulled back slightly, looking down at her. "I'm glad everything's okay. I'm staying for a couple days, just to make sure you're good."
Faye hesitated, then nodded, too tired to argue. "Okay. That... that would be nice."
~~
Quinn sat on Faye's couch, a cup of coffee in his hand, while Faye lay stretched out beside him, her head resting on a pillow. She still looked exhausted, her body worn out from stress and the Braxton Hicks scare.
"How are you feeling now?"
Faye shrugged, resting a hand on her belly. "Better, I guess. I still feel... off. But the doctor said it was normal. It just freaked me out."
Quinn nodded, then hesitated before reaching out. "Can I...?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
Quinn placed his hand gently on her stomach. It was the first time he'd touched her bump, and the feeling of life growing beneath his hand hit him like a ton of bricks. He swallowed hard, his throat tightening with emotion.
"That's... our baby."
Faye smiled weakly, "Yeah, our baby."
Quinn's phone buzzed with a text from his mom.
Mom: Heard what happened. We're so relieved everything's okay. If Faye needs anything, let her know I'm here, okay? She's family now.
Quinn smiled, showing the message to Faye. "Mom wants to help you out. She's pretty excited to be a grandma."
"I appreciate that. Your mom's always been so nice."
"She means it," Quinn said. "And so do I. You're not doing this alone."
"I know."
~~
It had been two days since the scare, and while Faye had physically recovered, the emotional exhaustion hadn't lifted. Having Quinn around helped, though. It was strange at first, seeing him so much more than usual, but also comfortable. He wasn't hovering, like a helicopter parent, but he was there, offering a helping hand
She wasn't sleeping well, though. Not anymore.
At 20 weeks, she'd finally hit the point where it was becoming increasingly difficult to sleep. It didn't help that her back constantly ached and her hips throbbed with every moment. Lying flat on her back made the pain worse, but when she shifted onto her side, it was like her belly was pulling her down, straining her already sore muscles.
Late at night, Faye lay awake in bed, shifting restlessly. Her body screamed for relief, but no matter how she positioned herself, the ache in her body wouldn't go away. She tried hugging a pillow like she'd seen online, but it didn't help. She was surprised she hadn't woken up Quinn with her constant tossing and turning, the rustling of her bedding.
Quinn had insisted on sleeping on the couch to give her space, but when the pain became unbearable, Faye found herself padding softly to the couch. She stood there a moment, watching him sleep, unsure whether she should wake him. But the dull ache made her decision for her.
"Quinn?" she whispered, nudging his shoulder. "I... I can't sleep."
Quinn blinked awake, his face full of concern as he sat up. "What's wrong?"
"I just... I can't get comfortable," she admitted, her hand resting protectively on her belly. "My back is killing me."
"How can I help?" his voice was deep with sleep.
"Come lay in bed with me?"
"Okay," he pushed himself up, following her over to the bed. Faye lay down beside him, curling onto her side, and after a second Quinn's arm came over her stomach. She closed her eyes, letting out a soft sigh of relief as his hand helped her prop her stomach in a more comfortable position. His touch grounded her in a way that felt... right. She shifted slightly, nestling deeper into the curve of his body, and for the first time that night, she felt like she could sleep.
"That better?" he murmured.
Faye nodded slightly. "Yeah. Thank you."
As she drifted to sleep, she realized how much she needed this--needed him. She wasn't used to relying on people, but with Quinn, it didn't make her feel weak. It just felt... safe.
~~
In the morning, Quinn was already awake when she opened her eyes. His arm was casually draped over her, and Faye's cheeks flushed as she remembered how she practically crawled onto him in the middle of the night.
"Morning. How're you feeling?"
"Better," she replied. Her back still ached, but he pain wasn't as intense as it had been when she was trying to sleep. "I think you might've saved me last night."
"Glad to be of service."
She sat up slowly, stretching her sore muscles as she glanced to the textbooks scattered around the place. Finals were creeping up on her, and while she'd tried to keep up with classes, the pregnancy was making it hard. Her professors and the school were understanding, but she still felt the pressure to stay on top of things.
"Do you need help studying? I've got time," he suggested, following her gaze.
"You? Studying?"
"Hey," he shot back playfully. "I wasn't a complete slacker in school, you know."
"I wouldn't mind the company."
They spent the next few hours at her small dining table, Quinn helping her go over some notes for upcoming exams. It felt strangely normal, having Quinn sitting beside her, scribbling down notes on things she missed, cracking jokes to lighten the mood.
Faye let herself imagine what it would be like if things were different. If Quinn lived closer, if they were a couple, if they were navigating this together in a real, committed way. But she quickly pushed the thought aside. It was too much to think about.
"Do you ever think about the future?" she asked suddenly.
"Yeah. I think about it a lot."
"And?"
"And..." Quinn's gaze dropped to her stomach before meeting her eyes again. "I think about how I want to be there. For you. For the baby. I know it's complicated, but... I'm in this with you, Faye."
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
~~
That night, Faye lay in bed, Quinn next to her already this time. She needed rest, but her body was only sort of cooperating. Quinn groaned slightly, having trouble falling asleep with all her tossing and turning.
"You okay?"
"No. I can't fall asleep."
He pulled her closer to his chest, nuzzling his face in her neck. "Better?"
"A bit."
She turned over, resting her head on his chest, closing her eyes.
"Better?"
"Thanks," she whispered, her breath warmth against his skin.
Faye could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her mind spinning from the physical relief but also the chemistry she was sure was between them.
And then, in the heat of the moment, their lips met. Faye's heart raced as his tongue swiped across her bottom lip, her body responding to the need she'd been ignoring for weeks. She pulled back, her breathing uneven.
"It's the hormones."
But Quinn just smiled, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I know. But if you need me... I'm here."
She blushed but still laughed at his flirting. Then tension between them was electric, and she leaned up for another kiss. Quinn rested his hand on her belly, pulling away when he felt something.
"It moved."
"What?" she whispered, not liking that he'd ended their make out session.
"The baby, I felt it. It was like a little flutter. Did you feel it?"
"I wasn't really paying atten--"
Then she felt it, the strangest feeling yet. Just like Quinn had said, like a little flutter.
"Oh my god. It's moving!" she laughed, cupping Quinn's face. "Our baby is moving!"
Quinn leaned in, pressing a bruising kiss to her lips. Resting his forehead on hers as they pulled away.
"That's... that's so fucking cool, Faye! That's our baby!"
"I know, Quinn," she giggled, but as excited as she was, exhaustion was starting to take over.
"Do you want me to move my hand?" Quinn asked.
"No. It's fine there," she mumbled, falling asleep while Quinn sat there and waited for the baby to move again. He was even more in love with the baby and it wasn't even there yet.
~~
It was Quinn's last day in Michigan, and Faye didn't like the heaviness that settled in her chest at the idea. She knew he had to go back to Vancouver. It was his job after all, but after everything that had happened, having him around felt comforting. He made everything seem a little less overwhelming.
To make the most of their last day, they decided to keep things light, indulging in Faye's latest pregnancy cravings. Currently, they were at her small dining table, staring at an odd combination of food.
"Are you seriously going to eat that?" Quinn asked, eyeing Faye as she spread peanut butter over a pickle.
"Trust me, it's so good," she insisted, though she had to admit it seemed strange. "It's the pregnancy."
"Well, I'm in. I promised I'd try all your cravings today, so let's see what this tastes like."
Faye handed him half the pickle, watching with amusement as he hesitated before taking a bite. His face twisted in confusion, then something more like... surprise.
"Okay... that's not as bad as I thought."
They spent the next hour going through her line up of food combinations--pickles in vanilla ice cream, hot sauce on a piece of white toast, avocado and chocolate, babybel cheese with whipped cream, lots and lots of orange soda. Each bite brought laughter and more jokes from Quinn, and Faye feeling better about her stupidity.
After, they sprawled out on the couch, stuffed from their culinary adventure. Quinn pulled out his phone, opening an app he'd downloaded to track the baby's development. "So, I was reading about what's going on with the baby at 20 weeks," he said, scrolling through the information.
"What does it say?" she rested her head on his shoulder.
"Apparently the baby's about the size of a banana now. That's... actually kinda big."
"A banana?" She placed her hand on her stomach. "Wow."
Quinn grinned, scrolling further down on the app. "It can hear things now too. Like they can hear your voice when you talk or when music is playing."
Faye smiled, imagining the little banana-sized baby growing inside her. She felt more connected with the baby every time she learned a new fact, but also much more anxious about the future.
As if reading her mind, Quinn set down his phone and said, "I ordered you something, by the way. It should be here tomorrow."
"You ordered something for me?"
"Yeah, I've been reading about pregnancy pillows. I figured it might help with the sleeping problems you've been having."
"You didn't have to do that."
"I know," he smiled softly. "But I want to help however I can. Even when I'm not here. I hate that you've been struggling with getting to sleep."
Quinn had been supportive than she ever imagined, and while they hadn't had a serious conversation about the future, moments together like that made her feel like things would be okay.
They decided to end the day with a movie, cuddled up on the sofa. Faye was wrapped in a blanket, her head resting on Quinn's chest. It was peaceful, but just as she was getting comfortable, her phone rang.
"It's my mom," she murmured, sitting up.
"You want to answer it?"
Faye nodded, then slid off the couch and headed to the bathroom for some privacy. "Hey, Mom."
"Faye, sweetpea! How're you feeling? You've been awfully quiet lately."
"I'm okay. Just... busy with school and stuff."
"Well, your dad and I were talking, and we think you should move back home once the baby's born," her mom said. "It'll be better for you to have support--proper support."
She knew what her mom was getting at. "Mom, I'm fine. I can manage on my own."
"Faye, be realistic," she snapped. "You're going to be a single mother. It's hard enough raising a baby when you have help, but you'll be alone most of the time. And if you think Quinn's going to be around for the sleepless night and dirty diapers, then you're being delusional."
"That's not fair. Quinn wants to help."
"He might think he does now, but once the baby is here, he's going to be focused on his career, on hockey. You'll be left doing everything on your own. You should come home, where we can help you."
"I'm not moving back home, Mom! I've got everything under control."
"You're not thinking clearly, Faye! You're being stubborn, and it's going to cost you. You need to think about what's best for the baby."
"I am thinking about the baby," Faye fought back her tears.
"Then why won't you listen to us?"
"Because I don't want to move back home! I can handle this on my own! And Quinn's not going to just disappear, okay? He's been helping me, and he's going to be there."
Her mom sighed heavily. "I hope you're right. I don't want you getting your hopes up, Faye."
Faye ended the call abruptly, feeling her entire body tremble as she leaned against the counter, sobbing quietly.
Quinn had heard bits and pieces of the conversation from the couch, but when he saw Faye's face, he immediately stood up and rushed over to her.
"Hey, hey," he murmured, pulling her into his arms. "What happened?"
Faye sobbed into his chest, her words coming out in gasps. "My mom... She thinks I should move back home. She thinks... She thinks you're not going... to be around."
"What? Why would she think that?"
"She... she thinks you're just going to focus on hockey, and I'll be stuck all alone. She doesn't believe you'll actually be here."
Quinn felt a surge of anger rise in his chest, not at Faye's mom, but at anyone who would think he wouldn't be involved. He cupped her face, wiping away her tears. "Faye, listen to me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this with you. We're going to figure this out together."
Faye sniffed, "What if... What if my mom's right? What if this gets too hard, and you--"
"It won't. Yeah, it's going to be hard, but I'm not going to walk away. I care about you, and I care about our baby. I'm going to be here for you both of you. No matter what. Okay?"
"I'm scared."
"I know. But we'll figure it out. We're a team, Faye."
Maybe, just maybe, they'd figure this out together.
~~
The snow was falling softly outside the Hughes' house, making everything look like a scene out of a Christmas movie. Faye stood by the window, watching the flakes settle on the ground, her hands on her ever growing stomach. It was strange being there surrounded by Quinn's family. Strange but... comforting.
She was 24 weeks along, her belly undeniably visible, and the baby had started kicking more regularly, constantly reminding her it was there. Her back ached 24/7 now and she slept most of the day, but she was still trying to enjoy her holiday break.
"Everything okay?" Quinn's voice came from behind her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Yeah. It's just... nice here. Your family is so kind. I still can't believe they invited me to stay for a few days."
Quinn chuckled, "Of course they did. You're part of the family now, Faye. Besides, my mom's been looking forward to spoiling you and the baby for weeks."
Ellen Hughes had gone out of her way to make her feel welcome, treating like she was already part of the family. And was overwhelmed as she felt, the whole thing made her feel less alone.
Later that evening, Faye sat on Hughes' couch, enjoying the warmth of the fire place, when Ellen came in and placed a large, beautifully wrapped, present in front of her.
"These are just a few things we thought might help," Ellen said, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "I know you've probably already started planning, but every little bit helps, right?"
Faye blinked, holding back her tears as she unwrapped the box. Inside was a collection of things she hadn't even thought about yet. There was a breast pump, a coupld sets of baby clothes, a few board books, and even a set of parenting books. One for her and one for Quinn.
"Oh my god, Ellen," her voice wavered as she ran her fingers over the small onesie. "This is so thoughtful. Thank you."
"It was mostly my mom," Quin grinned. "But I helped."
Ellen waved a hand dismissively. "Quinn picked out a few things. The parenting books were his idea."
The fact that he had been thinking about this--about them, about the baby--made her feel even more connected to him. Quinn was clearly committed to figuring things out.
"Thank you, Quinn. I mean it," she whispered.
Quinn reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "We're in this together, Faye. You and me."
~~
Faye was exhausted from socializing, so she and Quinn retreated to his childhood bedroom. It felt cozy and nostalgic, with posters of old hockey heroes still hanging on the walls and a few trophies lined his dresser.
"So this is where the great Quinn Hughes spent his teenage years, huh?" she teased.
"Yeah, it's nothing fancy. But it's home."
Faye lay on her back, immediately feeling the stretch of her belly above her. "It's nice. Being here with you. I wasn't sure how'd I feel, but... I like it."
Quinn lay down beside her, propping himself up on his elbow. "I'm glad you're here. It feels right."
They spent an hour talking about the baby, about names they hadn't settled on yet, and how crazy it was that in just a few more months, they would be parents. As the conversation quieted down, Quinn placed his hand gently on her stomach, his face lighting up when he felt a kick under it.
"Hey, there's my little buddy," he whispered, voice full of wonder. "You're getting strong in there."
Faye smiled, her heart swelling at the way Quinn talked to the baby. She placed her hands over his, enjoying the warmth. "The baby likes you."
Quinn leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her belly. "I like the baby too."
It was late by the time they finally turned off the lights, but Faye found herself still wide awake. She shifted slightly, trying to find a comfortable position without her pregnancy pillow. Sighing softly, she turned to face Quinn, who was lying beside her, his eyes closed but not quite asleep. "I can't get comfortable."
"How can I help?"
"Pillows and cuddles?"
"I can do that," he handed her an extra pillow from the floor, allowing her to stick it under her stomach. "Better?"
"A lot," she sighed.
Quinn gripped her jaw, turning her face towards him. He pressed his lips to her, a strong, quiet kiss. They'd shared kisses before, but this one felt more intimate, more real.
"I'm glad I'm here."
"Me too."
~~
It was nearing the end of January, and Michigan was wrapped in a thick blanket of snow. Faye sat cross-legged on the couch under a heavy knit blanket. The baby's kicks were getting stronger, whenever she placed her hand on her stomach she could feel it responding to her touch.
She was 28 weeks, officially in her third trimester. The reality of everything was hitting hard. It wasn't just the growing bump, the constant back pain, or the shortness of breath. Now, the emotional weight of it all was settling in, and the need to start planning for the birth was unavoidable.
Faye glanced down at the notebook in her lap, where she'd started to write out ideas for her birth plan. It felt weird, putting pen to paper and trying to map out how it would all go. Of course, she couldn't fully predict how things would play out, but the idea of having a plan eased her worries,
Her phone beside her buzzed, and she smiled when she noticed it was Quinn texting her. They talked almost every day now, and she felt like a school girl with a crush every time he texted or called.
Quinn: You free for a FaceTime? Been thinking about some stuff we should figure out
Faye: yeah, call me!
Seconds later, her phone rang and Quinn's face filled her screen. His hair was damp, probably from a post-practice shower, and he was smiling brightly.
"Hey, how're you feeling?"
"Tired. The baby's getting bigger and I swear I feel every, single kick these days."
Quinn laughed. "Strong kid. Probably gonna play hockey."
"We'll see about that," she rolled her eyes, looking back at her notebook.
"So, I was thinking... We should probably start to make some real decisions here. Like about the birth and everything that comes after."
Faye nodded, "Yeah, I've been thinking about that too. I kinda started writing out my birth plan, but it's a rough, rough draft."
"Yeah? What kinda things are you drafting?"
"Well, I want to have the baby here in Michigan. I've already talked to my doctor about it, and she's amazing. I don't want to risk flying anywhere when I'm that close to my due date."
"Good call. I'll come as soon as I can. Make sure I'm there for baby's due date."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about that too. I know you'll have to travel for games, but I want you here as much as possible."
"I will be. I'll talk to the team, make sure I'm there whenever you need."
"Okay, so after the baby's born..." Faye trailed off, trying to put her thoughts into words. "I don't think I should fly to Vancouver right away. I'll need time to recover and moving across the country with a newborn... it just seems like too much."
Quinn nodded, "Makes sense. I don't want you to have to deal with that stress right after giving birth."
"So, I'm thinking I'll stay here in Michigan for the first few months. Maybe two or three? My parents will stop by and help, and you can come visit when you can."
Quinn's face dropped at the mention of her staying in Michigan. "I hate that we won't be in the same place right after the baby's born. But... I get it. It's the best plan for now."
"I know," she mumbled, her heartbreaking. She also hated the idea of being apart from Quinn for those couple months, but she knew it was necessary. "I just want to give the baby a stable place before we have to move all our shit to Vancouver."
"Absolutely. And I'll come to Michigan as much as I can. And then, when you're ready, you'll move to Vancouver. You... you can move in here with me or... we can get you your own place."
It wasn't something they'd discussed in detail yet, but Faye's heart fluttered at the thought of sharing a place with Quinn. The thought of building a life together with their baby, filled her with a lot of hope for the future.
"Okay, sounds like a plan."
"I've been looking into baby gear. Cribs, strollers, cars seats, all the works. We'll need to figure out what we need in Michigan and what we need in Vancouver."
"Yeah, I've been looking into childcare options for when we move to Vancouver. I still want to finish my degree online. It'll be a lot."
"It will be, but we're in this together. You're not doing it alone, Faye."
"Thanks, Quinn."
"Also, I think we should make a list of names. It'll help."
She giggled, "You've really been thinking about this, huh?"
"Yeah. This baby's gonna need the best name ever. No pressure."
"Alright, let's do it. Let's make a list."
~~
Faye groaned, rolling over to look at the clock for the thousandth time that night. 2:47 AM. She was exhausted, but her body refused to cooperate. The baby liked to be active as soon as she was ready to rest. Which made it impossible to get comfortable and sleep.
Not that comfortable really existed anymore. She felt huge, like she had an oversized balloon under her shirt at all times. The baby had officially taken over. Every breath she took was shallow, and her bladder felt like it was the size of a peanut. She had to pee all the time. Every time she'd get settled, she'd have to get right back and waddle back to the bathroom.
With a groan, she pulled herself out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom yet again. She'd lost count of how many times she'd made that trip in the last hour alone. The baby pressed on every single one of her organs.
"I swear, if you keep pushing on my bladder, you're grounded for life."
The baby gave a strong kick in response, making her wince and laugh at the same time. It was like they already had the same sense of humour.
After what felt like an eternity of pissing, Faye made it back to bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. She drifted in and out of fitful sleep, and then the dreams started.
Faye's dreams had always been weird, but lately, her pregnancy was putting them on a whole new level. Vivid and bizzare, often leaving her very confused when she woke up. This dream, though, took the fucking cake.
In her dream, she was in the hospital, ready to give birth. Everything seemed fine at first--the doctors were calm, Quinn was there, holding her hand. But when the baby finally arrived, Faye's eyes widened in horror.
It had tentacles.
It wasn't a normal, chubby-cheeked newborn. No, this baby was some kind of squid creature, with wriggling, slimy tentacles where it should have had arms and legs. And instead of crying, it made this weird gurgling sound like it was trying to communicate to aliens.
Faye had stared at it in utter shock, unable to process what she was seeing. Meanwhile, Quinn was completely unfazed. He smiled down at the baby-squid hybrid like it was the most normal thing in the world.
"Isn't it cute?" Quinn had said, his voice filled with pride. "Look at all those tentacles."
Faye woke up, her heart racing. She blinked in the darkness, trying to shake off the unease from the dream. 3:30 AM. No way she was getting back to sleep after that. She grabbed her phone, texting Quinn.
Faye: u awake?
Quinn: Yeah, what's up?
Faye: had the weirdest fucking dream. call me
"Hey? You okay? What happened?"
Faye bit her lip, trying to keep from laughing as she thought about the dream. "I had a dream that the baby came out... but it had tentacles instead of arms and legs."
Quinn was silent for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Wait, seriously?"
"Yeah! It was like the baby was a squid or something. And you were completely fine with it. You were holding it like 'Look how cute it is!'"
"Well, I mean, if our baby has tentacles, we'll figure it out, right? It'll be the cutest squid baby, ever."
"I'm blaming pregnancy hormones for that one. These dreams have been getting weirddd."
"I've read about that. Strange dreams are super common in the third trimester. So... get ready for more squid babies."
"Great. Just what I needed. As if peeing every five minutes and feeling like a human punching bag wasn't enough."
"How are you feel otherwise?" Quinn asked. "I know this trimester has been harder."
"Honestly? I didn't think it could get worse, and then... it did. I can't breathe half the time because the baby is squishing my lungs, and I'm always tired but I can't sleep. The baby decides to have a fucking dance party every time I lie down."
"Sorry, Faye. Wish I could help."
"I know. It's not your fault, Quinn. Every week I feel like something new pops up to remind me how massive I am."
"Baby's gonna be here soon. And the sleepless nights will be for a different reason," he offered.
"Great," Faye said sarcastically. "Something to look forward to."
~~
31-weeks. 9 more weeks until their baby would be there. The days were flying by, and with each passing week, she got more and more anxious. Quinn wanted to be at the appointment with her, but he was busy doing hockey stuff. They were doing their best to navigate long-distance pregnancy, something she never thought she'd have to do.
Her OB entered the room with a smile. "How're you feelin' today, Faye?"
"I'm always tired, but good. Baby's active, which is probably a good sign."
"That's great to hear. We're mainly looking for the baby's position, measuring your uterus, and making sure everything is progressing as it should."
Faye nodded, trying to relax as the doctor took her measurements. She watched the doctor gently press along her stomach, feeling for the baby's position. The cold jelly made her shiver slightly, but she was more focused on the doctor's facial expressions.
"Looks like your little one is head down, which is exactly what we want to see. No signs of breech, which is good news."
"That's a relief."
"Things are looking good, Faye! And just to double-check you still want to keep the gender a surprise?"
"Yeah, Quinn and I talked about it, we both want to wait until the birth to find out."
"That takes some serious patience. But it'll be a great surprise when the time comes."
After the checkup, Faye called Quinn. He always wanted to be filled in on what was going on after appointments.
"Hey, Faye! How'd it go?"
"It went well! Baby's head down, which means no breech. Everything is looking good."
"That's awesome. I was worried about that."
"I know you were. But they're in the right position. Doctor said everything is on track, and we're still in good shape for a natural delivery."
"And the gender? They didn't slip up?"
Faye shook her head with a laugh. "Nope, still a mystery. Doctor asked, but I said we're stickin' with our plan."
"As much as I want to know, I think the wait will be worth it."
"Same. But it's getting harder to wait," she admitted, climbing into her car. "I keep imaging what they'll look like. If they'll have your eyes or my nose."
"Well, if they come out with tentacles, we're prepared."
"Let's hope not," she groaned.
"You're doing amazing, Faye. We're almost there."
"Almost there."
~~
The day had finally come and Quinn was back in Michigan, standing in Faye's apartment, helping her settle down for the final countdown. 1 week until her due date. Faye had been anticipating this moment for months, but now that it was there, all she could think about were the things they needed to get done before the baby arrived.
It didn't matter that she'd already gone through every room, tidied the apartment, and organized all the baby gear. The urge to keep preparing, making sure everything was perfect, was strong.
"Hey, how's everything going?" Quinn asked, dropping his bags on the ground.
Faye barely heard him. "We need to get the crib set up today," she blurted out. "And I need to reorganize the dresser-- I don't think I folded all the clothes properly. Oh, and we need to clear space in the freezer for breast milk."
Quinn looked at her with an amused smirk. "You know the baby isn't coming today, right? We've got time."
"Time?" Faye repeated, staring at him like he'd grown a second head. "We have less than a week, Quinn. What if the baby comes early and something isn't ready?"
He laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Okay, okay. Let's do whatever you need. Where do we start?"
Faye was in nesting mode. She had Quinn building the crib, while she sorted through the baby clothes for the tenth time. Everything needed to be perfect.
"Do you think I should organize them by size or typer?" she asked from the floor, surrounded by baby clothes. "Or maybe I should put the newborn ones on top. But then again, I don't know how fast the baby is going to grow."
Quinn glanced over from where he was screwing the last part of the crib on. "I think whatever you decide will be great."
Faye huffed. "You're just saying that. What if I mess this up? What if we're totally unprepared for when the baby gets here?"
"Faye, we're ready. The baby's not going to care if it's socks are in the wrong drawer. You've done so much already."
"I want everything to be perfect, Quinn."
"It will be perfect. You're not doing this on your own."
"I know. Thank you for being here."
"I'd rather be here than anywhere else," he leaned down and kissed her temple. "What's next on the list, boss?"
~~
Faye stood in the middle of the room, staring at the crib. It was freshly made, ready for the baby with nothing that cause any dangers while it slept. It should've given her a sense of peace, but instead she was still freaking out.
"We have the crib," she gnawed at her bottom lip. "But... we also have the bassinet."
Her eyes darted between the two pieces of furniture.
"Why do we need both?" she frantically ran her hands through her hair, pulling at the roots. "What if the baby hates the bassinet? What if they refuse to sleep in either? What if we've set everything up wrong and the baby doesn't sleep at all?"
Quinn came through the front door, just as she was doing another lap of the apartment.
"What's going on?"
"Do we really need the crib and the bassinet? Why do we have both?"
"The bassinet's for when the baby is super small. Easier to keep them close that way. Then we'll use the crib when they're older. That's what the book said, remember?"
Faye just let out a frustrated sigh. Of course she remembered. But nothing felt logical anymore. Everything could go wrong in a million different ways.
Quinn moved to the kitchen to make some tea while Faye continued to pace.
"What if the baby doesn't latch?" she stopped in her tracks. "What if breastfeeding doesn't work? What if we have to switch to formula and we're unprepared?"
"If breastfeeding doesn't work, we'll figure it out. Formula is fine, Faye. We'll handle it."
"But what if the formula we pick isn't right? What if the baby's allergic to it or something? And I've been reading about colic. What if the baby screams for hours every night and we don't know what to do?"
Quinn walked over, gently taking her hands in his. "Breathe. We'll figure it out if that happens. And if the baby doesn't latch, we'll get help. It's not all on you."
"But what about the bottles? Why do we need a warmer and a sanitizer? Can't we just use the microwave?"
Quinn stifled a laugh, realizing Faye wasn't in the mood for humour. "The bottle warmer is supposed to heat it more evenly than the microwave. And the sanitizer is for making sure things are really clean. Trust me, people do it all the time. We've got it covered."
"It just feels like there's so much to keep track of. I keep thinking I'm missing something important, and then I panic," she sighed, collapsing onto the couch.
"You're not missing anything," Quinn reassured. "You've done everything. The apartment is ready, the hospital bag is packed, the car seat is installed in your car, we've got all the gear we need. We are prepared."
"What if the baby gets cold at night? And the swaddle isn't enough?"
"They'll teach us about that at the hospital, Faye. And we have those sleep sacks, we'll make sure the baby is all nice and cozy."
"I-"
"Faye, no more. We're going to be fine. We don't have to be perfect. No first-time parents are perfect. Now, let's watch something and stop talking. You're giving me a headache."
"Hey!"
Quinn was right. They didn't need to be perfect, they just needed to work together.
~~
It was late in the evening, just two days before her due date, when Faye felt a strange twinge of pain. She had been lying on the couch, flipping through Netflix while Quinn did dishes. At first she thought it was just more Braxton Hicks, she got those a lot, but as the pain spread and deepened, her brain told her it wasn't.
She took a deep breath, trying to stay calm as another wave of pain gripped her lower back. She knew what was happening now. This wasn't a false alarm.
"Quinn?"
"What's up?"
"I think... I think I'm going into labour. The baby's coming."
Quinn froze for a moment, his eyes widening. "Are you sure?"
"I don't now," she admit, feeling the pain again. "But these feel different. Stronger."
Quinn was at her side in an instant, his hand resting on her lower back. "Okay, let's time them. Figure this out."
The next half hour was a blur of counting and breathing. Faye's contractions came steadily, each one closer than the last. She could feel the baby moving lower with each wave of pain, the pressure in her abdomen nothing like she'd ever experienced before.
"Four minutes. We should go."
~~
Once Faye actually got in a bed, doctors and nurses were hooking her up to things, checking her vitals, checking the baby's heartrate, seeing how dilated she was.
They told her she was about six centimetres. And that she and Quinn had some time to wait. Faye had to take her mind off the pain, wracking her brain for something to do.
"You know, Quinn, I really don't know the basics about you."
"What do you mean?"
"Like your favourite colour, favourite movie, that kind of stuff."
"You want to play 20 questions while you wait to push?" he laughed.
"Yes. I'll go first, what's your favourite colour?"
"Blue. I know it's basic. What's yours?"
"Green. But not just any green. Like forest green. Like deep in the woods of Vermont typa shit."
"You have quite the way with words, Faye."
"I know," she winked.
"If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?"
"Hmm, anywhere that I'm happy and with people I care about. But preferably close to a body of water. I find that calming."
"Vancouver, here we come," Quinn smiled, allowing her to squeeze his hand as another contraction hit.
"Are you scared to be a dad?"
"Wow, hard hitting question. I mean, a little. But isn't everyone? I think I'm mostly worried about being there for you guys. Are you scared to be a mom?"
"Fucking terrified. But I can't exactly shove it back in the oven for any longer," she joked, allowing him to brush some hair from her sweaty forehead. "Do I look hot?"
"Oh, amazing. Hotter than when I met you at that party."
"Don't even mention that party. That party's got me pushing a watermelon out of my--"
"Shut up," Quinn cackled.
~~
"One more big push and we've got the baby, Mama!" the doctor smiled.
"I hate you, Quinn Hughes. Ahh!" she gripped his hand, giving her one final push. And then cries filled the room.
"It's a boy!"
Faye collapsed, too tired to cry as they placed the baby on her chest. Quinn, however, wasn't too tired to cry. He wiped at his eyes, staring in wonder at the slime-covered baby on Faye's chest.
"We'll get him all cleaned up and then you can hold him, Dad."
He nodded, kissing Faye's forehead. "You did it, Faye. I'm so proud."
"Is he okay?" she mumbled, beyond exhausted.
"He's perfect. He has my nose, I think. You tell me what you think once he's all clean."
"He's really here."
"He's here," Quinn nodded. "Our baby boy."
A couple minutes later, the nurse brought the baby back, now clean and bundled up, only his face peeking out of the blanket. "Here he is, Mama."
Her little face was scrunched up, his eyes closed, and his lips puckered in the most adorable way possible. Faye stared at him in awe, lightly tracing his cheek with her knuckle.
"Quinn," she whispered. "He's perfect."
Quinn leaned over, wrapping his arm around her as they gazed down at their son. "Yeah. He's perfect."
His little nose did look like Quinn's, but she could see traces of herself in him too, in his chin and the curve of his lips.
"He has your mouth," Quinn said softly, noticing the same thing she did.
"And your nose."
Quinn reached out, gently loosening the blanket and brushing the baby's tiny hand with his finger. The baby stirred slightly, his little fingers curling around one of Quinn's. It was just the three of them, wrapped in their own little perfect bubble of love.
"What are we going to name him?" Faye continued to whisper, not taking her eyes off the bundle of joy in her arms.
"I think... he looks like a James. What do you think?"
Faye smiled. "James. I like it. James Hughes."
Quinn grinned, kissing the top of her head. "James Hughes it is."
Everything they had been through--the stress, the worry, the fear--had all led to that moment. It was all worth it. And as Faye held James close, she felt her heart swell in a way it never had before. She'd never held so much love for one thing.
She glanced at Quinn, who was still staring at James. She reached up, wiping away the last of Quinn's tears with her thumb.
"We're a family."
Quinn smiled, leaning down to give her a proper kiss. "Yeah, we're a family."
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etfrin · 1 year ago
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⤷❝Blood Red Roses | Coriolanus Snow❞ˎˊ-
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⇢☾Warning: NSFW | blood play, riding, pinv sex, crying during sex, dubcon if you squint, period sex, marking, biting, Snow is his own warning, creampie, belly bulge, unprotected sex (wrap it dumbfucks), breath play, dom sub undertones, fingering (f. receiving) | lmk if I forgot anything
⇢☾Pairing: young Coriolanus Snow x fem! Reader
⇢☾Summary: filthy porn <3
⇢☾A/N: read at your own damn risk, idc how filthy this is :D
< masterlist > < bc: @cafekitsune > < taglist >
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He's supposed to be disgusted, in a sense he is. Even as he pushed you to the bed, despite your protests, his mind was reeling but he was desperate. Desperate in the most pitiful way possible. Desperate in a sense that proved he was a man who easily succumbs to the greed of flesh. Desperate for you.
Nobody could blame him for his actions. His actions switched the position so that he was lying down on the bed. Your legs straddling him on either side. Both of you were exposed to each other's eyes. His dick was leaking pre-cum onto his abs. Your pussy is slick with your arousal and blood from your period. Your inner thighs are covered in the variant shades of blood red.
His eyes look down onto your skin, the shade of red contrasting with your color. His mind itched at him for this was beneath him, having someone like this, being so desperate that you don't worry about the mess it causes. A pearl of blood rolls down your skin, and Snow catches onto his fingertip. The bead of red liquid was interesting in a way he hadn't thought possible. His breath hitches as he spreads the blood onto your skin.
He can't take it anymore, he sits up, surprising you by putting his hand into your hair and pulling you down to catch your lips with his greedy mouth. His tongue ravishes your mouth, swiping over your teeth, stealing your taste and your soul as he bites your lower lip. His palm moved to cup your cunt, his hand getting coated in the mixture of your blood and juices. He groans into your mouth, your slick thicker because of different textures. He immediately knew it would feel different. His lips travel to your jaw to press wet kisses. Snow takes a moment of pause, preparing himself to cross his limits as his fingertip presses to your entrance.
“You don't have to,” you whispered, sensing his tense body, “I could blow you.” “You wish,” he scoffed, “It's your cunt I want, it's your cunt I will get, my bird.” His finger finally slides in, and your tight pussy is wetter than ever before. He easily slips another finger in making you whimper.
You let out soft moans as his fingers stretch you out for his cock, your walls more sensitive than usual. The smell of iron and sex filled the air, making him lightheaded. He looked down, his fingers connecting themselves to you, his hand bloody red. The sight makes him gasp, his mind flashing unpleasant memories but his cock getting incredibly hard that it hurts not to give it any attention.
His head was spinning, his mind disgusted by the filth and the mess but his body was hot. Whatever boundaries he had left for himself died when he took his bloody fingers out and cleaned it up by wiping his hands onto your skin. The red stains your skin in small strokes, underneath your breasts, and your tummy. The sight of it made him snap, his mouth latching onto your nipple sucking onto it like a vampire, a starved one. It makes you cry out, your hands on his shoulder for support.
His mouth sucks your supple breast as much as possible as one of his hands (the bloody one) kneads your other breast, marking you even further. The thought turned him insane, you bloody red, the similar shade to his usual outfit. His teeth sinks around your round flesh making you let out a small scream with how hard it was. “Coryo!” You cry out, your lips gasping from his more than-usual rough behavior.
He pulls back, his blue eyes blown wide into a feral black. His teeth marking your skin, dents into flesh as a small invisible bead of blood begins to form. He had bitten hard enough to break the skin. His tongue lavs around the wound he had caused, his hands now digging into your hip making you gasp, knowing that it will bruise. He lets the taste of blood bloom into his mouth, his mind accepting this as another extension of his sick self.
He repeated the process several times, around your breasts, neck, shoulder, and collarbone. Your skin was tainted with blood, tears falling from your eyes as he licked it all clean and pressed small kisses onto the wound as if to say sorry. Your nails dug into his shoulders as you continued to fall prey to his actions. Deeming himself satisfied as he sees your marked body, his twitching dick finally came to his mind. He drags his lips from your neck to your ear, and he whispers, “Ride me, my dove. Like your life depends on it.”
Knowing him, it might as well do. He leans back, his back onto the mattress. You couldn't enjoy the sight of his bare body because of the tears in your eyes. The pain was overwhelming your veins in the most delicious way possible. Your pussy pulsating with the need for his cock.
You start to sink on him, your cunt so much more wet it seemed impossible, it made the slide graciously smooth that you take him down to the hilt quickly enough despite the burn of the stretch. You both let out moans, his eyes rolling back because of your pussy, your lips letting out a gasp from how good he filled you up with his cock.
“Fuck, Coryo”, you whimper, “fuck.” This angle made his cockhead press into your spongy spot perfectly, making you see stars as you adjust to his length. “Come on, baby,” he whines, his hold on your hips getting harder, “Come on.”
Your eyes closed shut as you raised your hips before falling onto his cock. Moans begin to echo into the room as you get desperate, fucking yourself onto his cock, your blood gushing onto his skin, covering his cock red.
Meanwhile Snow had his brain shut off, his lips panting for dear life as your cunt sucked him in with each thrust your hips made. The glide of his cock so much smoother, your blood making a much better lube than your arousal ever could. He berated himself for his thoughts only for him to know he's right as more blood gushes out of your tight pussy and covers your skin.
You looked so beautiful to him right now, like a goddess trapped in mortal flesh. Not an inch of your upper body was free of marks, your skin perfected with various shades of red, purple and blue hues. Love bites that it would be impossible to cover. His balls tightened as he couldn't keep his eyes off you. Coriolanus never thought his self-control could be tested like this. It took every ounce of his restraint not to fuck you like an animal.
All it took for that mere man to break was a loud moan that escaped your lips when you took deeper him than expected, his cock bumping into your cervix. His eyes roll back, a groan of his mixed with your moans into the air. He snaps. Snow was never a fair man after all, he didn't have to play nice.
He switched positions, hooking your legs onto his shoulders so his cock would reach even deeper, impossibly deep, making you whine that you couldn't possibly take it. He didn't hear your pleas, his mind focused on your warm, wet pussy ruining him for anyone else. “You can,” he sneers, “and you will, my bird.”
And so you do. His dick throbbing inside of you as his thrusts get fast and needy. His self control is completely breaking. For the first time, Corios' actions weren't calculated. His thrusts get sloppier, as he pays you no mind, chasing his own relief like a dog in heat.
His palm pressed into your lower stomach, he feels his cock thrusting in and out of you and smirks, “See? You're taking it.” You couldn't even reply to his teasing, your oversensitive walls fluttering around his length. You were drooling, and never had Snow turned you into such a speechless mess.
His hand pressed harder, making you moan. “Yes, fuck, Coryo!” You scream, as your pussy begins to spasm around his cock. The sudden orgasm surprises you as much as him. His cunt continues to milk his cock and as you gasp much needed air. “Cum,” you begin to beg, “I can't- please Coryo!”
His free hand goes to your jaw, gripping it tightly as he leaned down and whispered against your lips, “You can, my dove. You can.” His sickly sweet tone makes your mind believe that you could do it only if your body agreed. You give him a meek nod, your mind filled with pleasure to disobey his words. His lips pressed against yours into a harsh kiss you had no control over. He groans into your mouth, as his pace gets sloppy but harder. His cock twitching inside of your cunt.
His hand that holds your jaw goes to your neck, pressing your throat to restrict your breathing, it makes your pussy clench perfectly around him causing his hips to stutter as he cums in you, filling your womb with his seed. He pulled out, laid beside you. Both of you are catching much needed breath.
Your eyes close, your body and mind exhausted. Coriolanus leans over you, his lips pressing a delicate kiss to your forehead.
“I'll buy you more red dresses, you look pretty in red.”
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tags : @stelleduarte @nowitsmissing @lifeonawhim @le-lena @maurdershavemyheart @motley-baby @champomiel @slytherinholland @justacaliforniandreamer
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whumptember · 4 months ago
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2024 Prompt List
ask box | rules | tags and posting
Main Prompts
1. "Don't leave me." chains | failed escape attempt | abandoned building
2. "I can't do this alone." dried blood | begging for help | caretaker's front door
3. "You're my last chance." rusted metal | enemies teaming up | returning home
4. "Don't make me go back." white knuckles | used as bait | ballroom
5. "You've hurt them for the last time." slamming door | rescue | whumper's basement
6. "I never want to see your face here again." torn mask | reluctant villain | hero's headquarters
7. "Let me take care of you!" damp rag | whumpee turned caretaker | bathroom
8. "You'll never see me again." packed bag | secrets revealed | doorway
9. "What did they do to you?" bloodied clothes | homecoming | hospital reunion
10. "I need your help." breaking voice | secret intentions | villain's base
11. "One last favor, then I"ll leave you alone." knife | sacrificing themself | sacred ground
12. "Why did you do it?" new gravestone | confronting whumper | cemetery
13. "I never looked back, and I regret it every day." cracked foundation | city in ruin | middle of the road
14. "You changed my life. not for the better. Now I get to return the favor." blindfold | payback | abandoned warehouse
15. "I'm never going to let you go." silk ribbon | intimate whumper | whumper's bed
16. "What happened to you?" new clothes | recapture | whumpee's old room
17. "This wasn't the deal!" torn contract | betrayed | in the middle of the woods
18. "You're never going to see them again." letter on whumpee's pillow | disappeared in the night | caretaker's apartment
19. "Take me instead!" cloth gag | caretaker turned whumpee | getaway car
20. "I'm always going to be with you." worn letter | mourning | caretaker's bed
21. "I'm not okay." bruised skin | begging for help | hero's doorstep
22. "We have to go back and save them! They'd do the same for us!" drag marks | taken hostage | battleground
23. "You're nothing without me." invisible restraints | hero whumper | basement
24. "Change my mind, tell me why I'm wrong and I'll turn back and undo everything I've done." split lip | hero in the wrong | edge of a roof
25. "Stop it! You're going to kill them!" blood spattered wall | ambush | villain's home
26. "Let them go." blindfold and gag | ransom demand | undisclosed location
27. "Don't forget about me, alright?" packed bag | leaving home | secret destination
28. "I was supposed to save the world." shackled ankles | accidental villain | jail cell
29. "You're a child, go home now and I won't come after you. But if you stay and fight, I won't hold back." hand-made mask | villain mentor | bank vault
30. "What did I say about breaking the rules?" ruler stick | young whumpee | on their knees
Alternate Prompts
1. "You lied to them." 2. Broken wrist 3. "I've done things I can't even think about anymore." 4. Whispered apology 5. "You're coming back, right?" 6. Curled into a ball 7. "You make me feel like I can forget all the bad things." 8. Chained to a car 9. "This is just the beginning." 10. Villain whumpee 11. "Oh, come on, you can take more than that!" 12. Begging 13. "Don't make me."
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