#i don't usually talk about serious serious stuff like this but. it makes me think sometimes
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stars4noah · 2 days ago
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HALLEY'S COMET- two.
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{WARNINGS}: swearing, arguments, drinking, smoking weed, a soft noah moment, self-depreciating thoughts, cheating, abuse
w.c- 3,536
a.n- chapter 2 is out!! i'm slowly getting more ideas for this story and learning how to make it last longer and stuff like that. feedback is welcome of course! enjoy :)
if you would like to be added to the taglist, please comment.
{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard
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"what the hell happened?" a voice spoke, snatching away my attention. i looked up from my spot on the ground, being met with a worried and confused noah.
"this idiot-" the stage tech began, but noah cut him off. "first of all, lower your volume. and don't call her an idiot. [y/n], what happened?"
i bit my lip, nervous for his reaction. "i was walking to my place at the stage in ran into them. he spilled his coffee all over me, now my camera is fried and the lens is broken. which means no pictures tonight."
noah seemed to tense at my words. no pictures? he never just had no pictures. he sighed, running a hand over his face.
"you don't have a spare?"
i rolled my eyes. "not everyone is a millionaire like you, noah."
"drop the attitude." he said, and i tried to ignore the way arousal shot through my body with his stern tone.
"right, well, no pictures for you tonight."
"what, you can't take them on your phone or something?"
i looked at him like he was insane. "you can't be serious. the camera quality of a phone does not even begin to compare to that of an actual camera. i can't just waltz out there with my phone in my hand-"
"yeah, yeah, i get it. stop your rambling." he interrupted. "i guess we just won't have pictures tonight. you can sit in the green room until the show starts, just don't get in the way."
i furrowed my brows. "you're not upset?"
"of course i'm upset, but i've got other shit to worry about right now. you're not at the top of my priority list. we'll talk about it later."
i nodded, and without another word i walked out to the green room with some ruined clothes and a broken camera.
"woah, what happened to you?" nicholas asked as i walked in. "don't wanna talk about it." i said, throwing the camera on the couch and grabbing a drink from the fridge. white claw, of course. it seemed that's all noah ever drank.
"dude, you need some new clothes." he said.
"they're all back at the hotel." i countered.
"i'll get you some from the merch stand."
i turned around to look at him. "nick, it's really not that big of a deal."
he raised an eyebrow. "it's the middle of december, [y/n]. i'm not gonna let you freeze to death with coffee all over your clothes. stay here, i'll be right back."
i sighed, sitting down and placing my head in my hands. how could so much go so wrong in such a short span of time? it seemed impossible. and so incredibly frustrating.
nick came back with a change of clothes for me. a hoodie and some sweatpants. the rest of the show went by well. a lot better than usual, for some reason. but who was i to ask? just the photographer. just the photographer who fucked up the one thing-
"earth to [y/n]." folio said, waving his hand in front of my face.
"hmm?" i looked at him.
"i said we're heading to a bar soon. you gonna join us?" he asked. "oh, i dunno. i'm pretty tired, i might just head back to the tour bus."
"come onnnn! it'll be fun!" he said, throwing an arm over my shoulder. "please?"
i sighed, running a hand over my face. "fine, whatever. but you're buying my drinks. i think i lost my wallet."
we soon arrived at the bar, heading straight for the vip section. i sat down in a booth far away from the others, staring at the wall and sipping on my drink until someone sat down in front of me.
"what's on your mind?" noah asked, crossing his arms over his chest, and i tried my best not to stare at them for too long before looking back up at his face. "nothing." i lied.
"you suck at lying. talk to me." he said.
"why would i talk to you about my problems?" i asked, a little more attitude in my voice than what i meant to let out.
noah furrowed his brows. "i'm just trying to help you. put some effort in. come see me when you got your head out of your ass." he said, and then walked off.
i groaned, laying my head on the table. today has got to be the worst day ever.
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i drank a little more than what i meant to, stumbling and laughing as we walked back to the tour bus, nicholas having to hold my arms so i didn't fall flat on my face.
"damn, princess. you're shit faced." noah laughed.
"fuck you." i spat.
"still being a brat, i see." he said, and i rolled my eyes. "don't have to point out the obvious."
"c'mon, lets sit down before you fall." nicholas said, and i reluctantly sat down with a huff.
"so, what were you thinking about earlier?" noah asked. "you first." i replied, he furrowed his brows.
"earlier today. you declined a smoke. you never do that."
he made an 'o' shape with his mouth, trying to decide if he wanted to tell the truth or not.
"don't lie to me." i said, noticing his hesitance.
"i've just got some personal problems going on. nothing big."
i snorted. "what, your girlfriend break up with you or something? wouldn't be surprised." noah clenched his jaw. "i said it's nothing."
"oh, shit. she did!" i laughed. "damn, how's it feel to be humbled?"
noah groaned, throwing his head back. "can you drop it? i don't want to talk about it."
"nah, i'd rather make fun of you instead. give you a taste of your own medicine."
noah was starting to become increasingly frustrated, his fists clenching at his sides. that should've been my first sign to stop, but i was relentless.
"[y/n], give the guy a break." nicholas said.
"no, he needs to know how it feels to be nitpicked at and made fun of over every small thing." i said.
"can you not be a bitch for five minutes? i dunno, show some empathy and compassion for others for once?" noah snapped.
"i dunno how you expect me to be nice to you when all you've ever shown me from day one is disrespect and anger!" i said.
noah laughed bitterly. "are you fucking blind? i try to be nice to you all the time. i try to show you that i'm trying to change and all you do is push me away!"
"and you expect me to believe that you're 'trying to change'? really? i'm not stupid, noah." i slurred.
"obviously you are. drinking that much. you ruined the fucking show tonight, you know that? you screw up everything all the time. no pictures, no media announcements, nothing. it's a wonder i haven't fired you." he spat.
he was a little drunk too, not completely understanding of the words that he just spoke to me. the words that nearly brought me to tears. but i wouldn't allow him to see them.
"good thing you don't have to. i quit." i said, storming out of the bus.
"[y/n], wait-" nick began.
"save it." i spat, drunkenly walking off down the sidewalk to only god knows where.
i ended up taking an uber back to the hotel, hastily packing my things while the others tried to talk me out of it. all of them except for noah. he was probably in his room or something, hooking up with some girl from the bar. why did i care?
"come on, just think about it. you're both drunk. it'll blow over by morning. please don't leave, [y/n], bad omens isn't bad omens without their photographer." jolly said.
i rolled my eyes, zipping up my suitcase. "i've dealt with this shit for ten years, jolly. tonight was the final straw. i'm fucking done. i quit. find a new damn photographer."
and with that, i stormed out.
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weeks after the incident, my phone was blowing up non stop with messages from all four members. i was back home in LA, searching for other jobs.
i saw on instagram that they had replaced me with some 'temporary' guy named bryan, which i'm sure he would end up taking my place entirely. he did his job, and better than i did. his editing skills were immaculate, and the angles he could get were insane.
i would never be like him.
photography never was for me, anyways. i wasn't creative enough. every time i couldn't get a shot or edit a photo correctly, i would break down. i needed to perfect, and i was never even close to achieving that goal. nicholas always assured me that practice made perfect, but couldn't nearly 10 years of practicing be enough?
i shut off my laptop, giving up on my job search for the day, and checked my phone. more messages from the group. great. one message had caught my eye, though. from noah.
'[y/n], please come back. i didn't mean any of the shit i said, i was shit faced and talking out of my ass. you're incredibly talented, you shouldn't need someone to tell you that. you should be able to see it for yourself. i know you've seen that we got a new photographer, but he doesn't even compare to you and your skills. we need you, princess.'
i rolled my eyes, shutting off my phone and ignoring the message, just like i had with all the others. with a bottle of hennessy next to me, i lit up a joint, taking a few hits as i turned on the tv.
since i left, i'd been drowning myself in weed and alcohol. not really a good mix, but i wasn't in the right mindset to even care at this point. the only thoughts in my mind were self-depreciating ones. the ones telling me that i would never be good enough. that he was right to say all those things to me. i felt tears well up in my eyes again, and then there was a knock at my door.
figuring it was just a package or something, i ignored it. until it came again.
i groaned, putting out the joint and shuffling over to the front door before pulling it open.
"christ, [y/n], you look like shit." noah said, looking at me and grimacing at the faint scent of alcohol and weed.
"oh, gee, thanks." i said, moving to shut the door again, but he blocked it with his foot.
"wait." he said. "i want to talk to you."
for a brief moment, i considered letting him in. i wondered if the others had knocked some sense into him over the past two weeks. yeah, he was going through a lot himself, but that didn't give him any right to treat me like that. i huffed, remaining stubborn on keeping him out.
"i don't want to talk to you. go away." i said. "give me five minutes. if i can't change your mind, i'll leave. forever."
the thought of him leaving made my heart clench. i didn't want him to leave. i needed him to stay. for some reason, my life felt emptier without him. so i sighed, opening the door again and moving to let him in.
why was i feeling this way?
we sat on the couch, and i prayed he didn't say anything about the countless empty alcohol bottles and joint butts.
"first, i want to apologize. i know me being drunk isn't a proper excuse. hell, there's no excuse for the way i treated you, that night and over the years in general. you don't deserve that, [y/n]. and you were right to want to quit. but that doesn't mean you should. you are the most talented photographer i have ever met in my life. you're- you're beautiful, and funny, and its like you can make photos come to life. i know i said a lot of shit, but you have to believe me. i didn't mean it. any of it."
i finally looked at him. "you're such a liar."
he shook his head. "i'm not lying. you don't have to trust me. you can hate me all you want. yell, scream, cry and hit me. whatever makes you feel better."
i really was gonna take him up on that offer, but decided against it. "what do you want?"
"i want you to come back. you're like family, [y/n]. tour isn't the same without you."
i clenched my jaw. "and what, you think a half assed apology is gonna fix it? everything you said, everything you did? you broke me down all these years, noah, and now i have to pick up the pieces myself. fuck you."
"[y/n]-" "get out."
"what?"
i looked at him. "get. out. i don't want you here."
he sat stubbornly. "i'm not leaving. you're not in the right mindset, i know, but you can't just quit. we need you. we miss you."
i crossed my arms. "prove it."
he furrowed his brows. "what? how am i supposed to prove it?"
"prove that you're sorry. that you're willing to change for me to come back. because i won't be coming back to deal with your sour attitude for longer than i have to. i'm tired of it." i said, and he nodded.
"okay. i'll prove it."
noah canceled the next few shows, which i repeatedly told him was not necessary, but he refused. he was going to show me he cared.
he started off by helping me clean my house. at first, he started by himself, but i refused to let him do it himself. plus, there were some things that needed to be done a certain way or else it wasn't right and i'd have to do it all over again.
"jesus christ, how much did you drink? it's been like, two weeks." noah said.
"too much. i've had the world's worst hangover for the past three days." i said, and noah threw me a water bottle and a bottle of painkillers. "take those and sit down. you'll feel better soon."
"but-" "don't argue."
i sighed, taking the painkillers and washing it down with water before going to the couch and sitting down.
noah continued to clean, throwing away the takeout boxes and empty bottles and even going as far as to mop the floors for me.
maybe he really is trying to change.
i shook away the thought. he could be trying to manipulate me or something. make me think he's nicer and then immediately go back to being mean.
even though there was that nagging worry in the back of my mind, i fell asleep in the couch with the thought of maybe he really had changed. maybe there was a chance at actually being happy.
maybe i had a chance with him after all.
i woke up what i can only assume was hours later, only to find noah no longer in my home. no note, not text, nothing. i should've known better.
a thought crossed my mind. my house was already so clean. there was no use in dirtying it up even more. maybe i could try a different outlet.
so i grabbed a paper and pen, scrambling off random words onto the paper. just random things that came to my mind.
I don't want it. And I don't want to want you. But in my dreams I seem to be more honest. And I must admit, you've been in quite a few.
it wasn't a lie. often times, he would show up in my dreams. i couldn't remember what was happening, but i knew he was there.
silly me to fall in love with you.
falling in love with a man who wasn't available. how stupid could i be? it wasn't going to happen, anyways. even though he was single now, he was a prick. he hated me. i can't believe i ever thought i had a chance.
NOAH'S POV.
i knew it was wrong to leave her there like that. but i couldn't stop myself. when i recieved the message i had oh so desperately been waiting for from alyssa, my feet seemed to move on it's own. my thoughts drifted back to conversation i previously had with nick as i drive to her place. the place we used to share.
"she what?!" nick yelled.
"calm down, dude." i said, my eyes red with previously shed tears.
i'd just recieved a picture from a good friend of mine, keaton, of my girlfriend and some random dude kissing in the mall while i was out on tour. part of me felt relieved. i knew it was wrong, but over the past couple years, i'd been growing feelings for another woman. [y/n], to be exact. why did i feel this way?
"god, dude, i wish she was a man so i could beat her ass."
"i know. just.. stay. i don't want to be alone."
i met alyssa when i was on tour at the very beginning of my career. i bumped into her when i was on a coffee run for everybody, and the way she carried herself, her voice, and generally just everything about her had me to my knees immediately. she didn't know who i was. and frankly, it was a relief. i didn't want to date some crazy fan, so i asked for her number.
we hit it off almost instantly. the first date i kissed her. everything was going fine for the first couple months, and then she started disappearing more. leaving the house more and staying out later. she always assured me that she was just going out with friends, but deep down i knew it was something more.
and really, everyone could see it but me. she was borderline abusive. sometimes physically, but i would play it off as jokes and fun. it was obvious it wasn't when she started leaving bruises. mentally and physically. telling me i would never be enough. that i wouldn't be anything without her. when we argued, she would put me down so far that sometimes, it was hard to get back up. but i managed. i always did.
it might sound absurd. a large, 6'3 and well built man being abused by a woman. and though i looked like that on the outside, it was all just a front. i never wanted to hurt anyone. i never wanted to be mean. i just wanted to be held. to be loved. i wanted her to love me. i wanted her acceptance, because that was all that mattered to me.
that soon proved to be a mistake.
i sighed, pulling into the driveway and sitting for a moment. this was wrong. so horribly wrong. but i couldn't find it in me to leave. i needed to know why she did this. why she left me. was i not good enough? what did the other guy have that i didn't?
i walked into the house and she greeted me with tears, shocking me.
"noah, please. i'm so sorry. i-i didn't mean to, please. i need you, you're the only man i love, i swear!"
my heart jumped at her words, though i knew they weren't true. over the years i'd been with alyssa, i knew she was cheating. lying. but i hated change. and i couldn't bring myself to leave. but keaton giving me the cold hard proof was all i needed to make the final choice.
"you cheated, alyssa. you did that. not me. you have no one to blame but yourself."
"so what, you came back to rub it in my face? tell me it's over for good?" she scoffed, the tears almost immediately disappearing and being replaced with a scowl.
"yes." i said simply.
"fine. he's better than you, anyways. richer, hotter, and he's bigger."
"whatever, alyssa." i sighed, grabbing my keys. i knew this was a mistake. "you walk out that door, and don't you ever call me again!" she shouted.
so i did.
i debated on whether or not i should go back to [y/n]'s apartment. after a few missed calls, i decided against it. she must still be sleeping. so i wen't to nick's house to crash. i'd go back to her house tomorrow, but for now, i just needed sleep.
READER'S POV
i found myself laying in bed, staring at the wall. once again, that void was in my chest. the void that could only be filled by him.
he called me numerous times, but i declined them all. he really had the guts to call me after he left? just left. without a single word. why would he do that?
tears flowed freely from my eyes as i remembered all the past experiences with the band. i missed them. i missed my friends. but i couldn't afford to get hurt again. i couldn't go through that again. so once again, i drifted off to sleep with the thoughts that lingered in my mind, despite my efforts to push them away.
halley's comet comes around more than i do. but you're all it takes for me to break a promise. silly me to fall in love with you.
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secondbeatsongs · 17 days ago
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going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.
genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.
you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.
I'm really normal about this, actually
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ace-and-the-rpg-horrors · 11 months ago
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i've been thinking about it for a while, but it is really quite... interesting how people will try to "correct" South Asian people when they refer to themselves as "Asian." and it is especially interesting that i have only seen white people "call them out" - not the "actual" Asians they are defending or whatever it is they're trying (and failing) to do.
i've experienced it personally, back in school a couple years ago, i was just having a chat with my Chinese classmate and we were just talking about "The Strict Asian Parents" struggles, relating to each other and such. but a girl behind me was like "errmm. actually, Aden. you're not Asian, you're like, Indian."
girl, first of all, not every brown person is Indian, i'm Pakistani, thank you very much. secondly- if these people are under the impression that people from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan and others are not Asian- which bloody continent do they think they're in and from??
of course, it's kind of obvious what it is. it's really just ignorance. because when certain people hear the word "Asian" only about three countries come to their minds. Japan, China and South Korea. only East Asian countries. maybe if they're a bit more clever they might think up of a couple of Southeast Asian countries too, like Malaysia and Vietnam.
but- hint, hint, East Asia. that implies that it's not the whole continent, right??
and i can't lie, i do get a bit of an uneasy feeling that there's at least a little colourism underlying that mindset, whether they're aware of it or not. because, especially in recent years, East Asian culture has definitely been popularised, romanticised and all that, notably through anime and East Asian idol groups. i do imagine that does create its own issues and expectations for people from those countries, but i don't think i can really have a say on that.
it does make me wonder, now that some people from the West associate "Asia" simply with their precious, fair idols and anime characters and nothing else, they might have some sort of subconscious aversion against accepting people who don't fit those specific looks and mannerisms within that category- despite it being an incredibly broad one??
Asia is a massive continent with tons and tons of different cultures in it. you can't just expect to get away with erasing and ignoring at least half of the whole thing.
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icewindandboringhorror · 18 days ago
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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multishipper-baby · 29 days ago
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Not publishing the ask yet because I want to reply with the playlist but I have to comment on it because
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Anon. You just gave the biggest neuron activation.
IT'S 2 AM. BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WHEN I'M THINKING ABOUT THEM.
#I have so many thoughts and none of them are coherent#srmthfg#it's just- they make me a little insane sometimes#especially after ghost in the machine (was that what that episode was called. I think it was that)#what if you had a crush on the second in command for ages but never had the guts to actually confess#because he's always focused on the bigger picture and the job and all the things that are More Important#AND THEN HE FUCKING DIES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES. WITHOUT YOU BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT#listen to me. I don't usually have many problems with the show. but I do think the semi comedic tone of savage lands part 1#was kind of weird sandwiched between all the serious stuff. I understand wanting some levity but everything is in the shit#so. allow me to make it angsty in a gay way. let me indulge for two seconds#WHAT IF YOU SO DESPERATELY WISHED HE SAW YOU AS HIS THIRD IN COMMAND#even if it doesn't matter now that he's gone. you want to think he'd give you that. that he saw you that way#and then he comes back... and you find out that he didn't#but also- he came back a robot. so is it really him? can you trust this illusion just because it talks and walks like him?#even if he isn't... could you ever leave him behind?#WHAT IF HE HELD YOU SO TENDERLY AFTER YOU SAVED HIM AND CARRIED YOU BACK TO SAFETY. WHAT THEN#(blatantly ignores all the spove in ghost in the machind)#WHAT IF YOU GOT TRAPPED IN A MUSEUM AND BECAME COWBOYS. I LOVE COWBOYS#I'm sorry. I'm still kind of sick and thus not fully sane#I promise I'm normal about the monkeys
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.
#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.#but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point#is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice#and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that.#but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd#because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh#will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up.#that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that#but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff#either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit.#but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having#to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I#don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it#because my brain is bad and all of that.#maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca#and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and#it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just.#just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting#and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right.#and if I could the bad things would stop#I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and#doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard?#but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're#better at being human.#idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough#I'm tired of it#and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the#guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that#have to feel bad about now.#doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it
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inazuma-fulgur · 2 months ago
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I will also defend trans men here, I see vitriol about both just by different people.
Men, and women keeping proximity to men in media/political circles, target trans women for being predators and for mutilating themselves
Same for trans men actually, just by women and men keeping a proximity to those women. This one is a little weird though, because trans men post transition are predators and trans men pre transition are always victims who are tricked into mutilating themselves.
This isn't just on tv, this is stuff my neighbors and coworkers tell me. Austensibly, in my experience, cis women are negative towards trans men and largely neutral or positive towards trans women, whereass cis men are negative towards both
Non binary people don't even exist because they don't touch on the framework people use to understand themselves, so they can just be denied and don't require any arguments beyond "lmao silly"
#I had written this as a response to someones post. not a reblog a comment#but I decided it's worth getting misunderstood and/or starting a fight.#so instead I think it works better as a standalone post. I don't like how most every trans inclusive discussion on tumblr seems to be#about differences between us. y'all#being trans is about the fact that our differences aren't real. even the superficial ones are up for debate.#cuz your voice can do amazing things and generally men and women look mostly quite alike#why split us again. why play the oppression i#olympics instead of working on understanding each other and making ourselves understandable?#if you keep pointing at the differences you perceive - especially if you actively blame them on the other - you'll exacerbate the difference#someone will question whether this is theirs. and if they reject they will reject you for speaking ill of them and others in a broad#generalized sense and not take you seriously#if they do accept it but they can't find a way to work on themselves - either because it isn't given or because it's not a real issue - they#will reject you and be hostile for your perceived hostility. do you see how you're hurting yourself?#and yeah biggest exist already that will fall into one of those two camps and you feel like you're talking to them. okay yeah that's true#but does it matter? you make people that don't belong to the bigots find solace in the bigots argument because you aligned yourself against#them in a way that can be weaponized. you said dumb shit and someone will take advantage of that.#whoever is wrongly affected by what you said doesn't realize they're siding with bigots. bigots don't always make radical ridiculous#which is why they're so dangerous. they say something quite reasonable looking given a certain context and then moon logic.#don't give them the set up for the moon logic. make them self destruct right from the start#and don't turn allies into foes just because you don't want to accept their allyship#anyways I don't take tumblr discourse serious. but I say this because aggressively unfollowing people with stupid rhetoric hasn't fixed me#seeing this. i still see it get reblogged by accounts that have zero connection towards this kind of rhetoric or usually even oppose it#I see it blazed too. generally I only see garbage from blaze but I also see quite untrue claims about what can and can't be blazed.#everything can be blazed regardless of staffs transphobia. even if it may be harder. the stuff that does successfully pass and gets blazed#may just not be the pro trans statement you perceived it as when you tried to get it blazed... think about it
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prettyboykatsuki · 28 days ago
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slow down | n. seishiro
✮ tags ; gn + afab!reader, fwb to lovers, implied dom reader, switching for the first time (kinda), unprotected sex, backshots, explicit smut, love confessions in the middle of sex, 18+
✮ wc ; 2.8k
✮ a/n ; im not taking questions at this time don't ask me anything. title from chase atlantic. dont say a word to me.
✮ synopsis ; when you ask him to fuck the sad out of you, nagi mostly does it because it's you.
but maybe it's worth doing again, if it makes you whine so pretty.
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Something clicks.
It's weird. Nagi doesn't totally get why it happens now of all times. Figuring out he loves you mid-thrust seems silly, even for him.
It's not like this is the first time Nagi has ever had sex with you. He decided to fulfill your request of asking him to put in a little work while you hung out on shared day off.
He's used to the routine of you coming over to use him, more or less. He doesn't mind it at least. He doesn't think too deeply about it in general. Once you propositioned him to be your regular hook-up, Nagi couldn't find it in himself to voice a complaint.
Sex with you feels good, probably because being around you has always felt nice. You pamper him a little like Reo does, but you're... different, somehow. Nagi can't completely explain it. You have a different feeling to you like all of the ways you spoil him to you sort of come easy.
You said once that you like that you know what to expect with Nagi. It was easy not to hope or want for anything other than what you got.
He isn't sure why he's remembering all of this now. It's not the time. You're holding onto his pillow, muffling moans into it while you fuck yourself back on his dick and there are at least five things he should probably be more concerned with than what he's thinking about right now.
Maybe it's the same, really. He's still thinking of you. On the other hand that's all he ever does.
Nagi watches you, suddenly mesmerized by the view. He's not usually fucking you from this angle, but he can tell he's feeling you a lot deeper. The sex he's used to having is lazy and 'intimate' as you put it, too much for a hook-up. You're usually under his weight, or in his lap, or on your belly while he curls over you. You're usually the one controlling the pace, and if he is thrusting at all - he's usually doing it with his head totally empty. Chasing the pleasure with a mindlessness that feels comfortable. Cock heavy with need, thrusting into you - warm and wet, perfect around him.
The sex you have with Nagi is good, but above all it's comfortable. You come expecting him to get hard and do what you ask - which is easy.
This is not that.
But it's good. Maybe better. At the very least, new in a way he wants to explore.
You weren't even supposed to be having sex. Though that's usually the case - you'd told him before coming over that you weren't feeling quite up to it. You asked if it'd be okay if all you did was cuddle and of course it was.
Not wanting to have sex is one thing, but it was the abrupt difference in your mood that prompted his concern. You're usually upbeat and chatty - like to talk to his ear off even if he's not totally listening.
So it's weird when you crawl into his bed silent and almost moody, it's so obvious even Nagi can tell. And it worries him as is, but it worries him most when you get worked up enough to cry in front of him after he asks you what's wrong.
He's not usually good with stuff like that, so he uses the advice so he falls back on what he's used to. Asking if there's anything he can do.
You made a joke, between a sniffle. You could fuck the sadness out of me, I guess.
You weren't serious. But Nagi thought, well he could do that much. It doesn't bother him, since it's you and he has a day off. And it feels off to see you cry, so if he can get you stop - that'd be good.
Sex is different when Nagi is the one putting the work in. This is the delayed realization. He's never really thought about doing it - since the sex you have already is really good. He doesn't see the point in fixing what's not broken.
He likes it like this, he thinks. Even kissing you. It's fun, somehow. He's never seen you act like this before. Whining, sighing - something almost pitiful to you. You're expecting him to give up from what he can tell, at least from all the times you pull away from him—glassy eyed and giggly, asking if he's had his fun yet.
And honestly, Nagi is expecting it of himself too. He's done his job in making you feel better.
He's sort of surprised at how much he wants to keep going.
It feels good though. Euphoric. A sense of ego, he supposes. It feels good to know what he can do to you if he wants too, at any time.
He looks down at the evidence it and almost feels content.
You fuck yourself back onto him the second he moves and it makes him click his teeth just a bit. It bothers him somehow, in this specific instance. His hands find the soft flesh pudge of your hips and he thinks about how good you feel between his fingers as he holds you in place hard.
You wiggle yourself back against him desperately and in unconscious retaliation he pulls out completely. Your pussy gapes open at his absence - the first time he's ever seen inside. Swollen and sticky, fluttering as his thick cock lays against your cunt. Crystalline threads of pre-cum and arousal stick and cling to you both. Your pussy is glistening pretty under the low-lights, viscous threads of his own pre sticking against the hair of your pussy. Cocky red, tip ruddy and throbbing.
Nagi rubs against you tentatively. Pleasure guides him, his hips finding the right angle to thrust against you but not quite inside. He can hear the moan you bite into the pillow and feels a strange sense of contentment mix with vague annoyance. It'd be better if he heard you loud and clear.
"Nagi-kun," You breathe out. It's the first time he's heard you say his name like that.
Something inside him jolts. It's the same realization he had before. He should tell you before it slips away.
"Again."
A pause. Nagi ruts his hips, forcing it out of you. "Nagi-kun."
"That's it," He mumbles, to himself. "I like that."
You make another garbled noise - force your hips back up and Nagi pulls away again, not on purpose. Somehow, he doesn't feel like giving you what you want quite yet. You do this, back and forth until you whimper, head turned over your shoulders.
"Why aren't you fucking me?" You whine, words filtered through thick tears, voice riddled with frustration. "Fuck me, already."
"Mm,"
Nagi doesn't want to make you beg. But he likes this feeling - whatever it is. How you act when he holds you in his palm. Doesn't want to make you small. Rather, you are like this. Cute. Makes him want to see everything else you could do in reply to him. Even if it means you might nip at him, somehow - if it's you, it wouldn't be bad. He rubs his cock again against your swollen cunt, sliding it between your thighs too for good measure. Gripping your hips even harder he fucks inbetween them with a sigh - head of his cock catching on your clit.
You keep moaning his name when he makes you feel good. The harder he goes, the more he smacks his his hips against your ass - not quite relieving the pressure in your gut you just keep crying out for him. It's nice to hear. That's all it is, really.
"Not my thighs," You whine. Nagi takes a breath, pushing a hand through his hair.
"Where?"
You make a noise, looking over at him from your shoulder - scandalized. "Are you serious?"
He doesn't reply or react, just keeps still. You groan.
"Fuck my pussy," You say, wincing at your own voice. "Want your dick inside me."
"Call me Seishiro,"
You blink absently, another desperate cry "Seishiro-kun," You breathe, soft and gentle and sincere. Cute. "Fuck me. Please?"
He nods. Doesn't say anything in reply - just grabs your hips and leans forward - a hand next to your head. Keep himself steady, and keep you upright.
Raw dick slick from sliding against your sex, tip heavy with pre-cum - Nagi stuffs his cock inside you in one go. Your pussy stretches around him with ease, accommodates his ridiculous length like it's done it time and again. He's felt it before, felt you before - but it's the first time he's really noticing just how much effort it must put in to do it. Somehow, he finds that endearing too.
His cock, thick and heavy and wanting - aches as he bottoms out. Sticky heat swallows him whole, his waist melting against your own and making him weak. It always feels good, but it never feels this good. Never feels good enough that he makes a noise any louder than a breath.
But he moans this time - shivers as his fingers sink into the plush of your hips and he grinds the tip of your cock against the very edge of your cervix. Your knees go weak underneath him, you'd buckle if he wasn't there to hold you upright.
Another wave of arousal spills around the girth of his cock, and you squeeze down on him tight. Oh. You like that. He does it again, mindlessly. You grow wetter, more desperate. All pulsing waves of heat and desire, Nagi can feel your legs tense as you get stimulated from the inside.
"Keep your hips up," Is all he says as he lets go, moving his hand around your waist until his fingers brush your clit. You gasp.
"Seishi—hicc,"
Words lost, Nagi rubs a circle into the throbbing bundle of nerves. Twitchy, restless under his fingers - he's practiced in this. Good with his hands, he starts slow until he finds a place it gets easy for him to do without putting any tension on the rest of him.
You're shaking before him. Nagi places an absent kiss on your shoulder blade. You keep half-way saying his name, stumbling on the syllables and sounds when he makes you feel good.
"Fuck," You're falling apart. He can hear it. "Quit touchin' me like that. I'll cum."
"Then cum,"
"I don't want to cum like this,"
"Then how?" He says. A delayed sense of understanding. "Oh, you want to cum on my cock?"
You clench down on him hard. Huh.
"That's it? Is that why you won't cum?"
"Sei-kun," You're so whiny like this. "You're being extremely unfair today."
"Am I? Sorry." He isn't sure if he means that. "Is that what you meant? You want to cum while I fuck you,"
You frown, voice barely above a whisper. "...Yeah. So quit it already,"
Nagi pulls out and you breathe a sigh of relief before he slams right back in. You almost scream, mouth fallen open. "Just tell me next time. It's fine."
Again. Your words die as soon as he moves. This was the right pace. The right everything. He can tell because your pussy keeps fluttering around him, slick walls trembling so violently each time he slides in and out. Gripping onto the hard length of his cock like you don't want him to pull out completely. Each time he gets close to doing so, you suck him in further. Milk his cock for all it's worth, his balls feeling suddenly heavy and tight. He moans in pre-emptive, at the thought of how good it's gonna feel unloading it in you.
"You feel so good." He says, appreciative. You whimper again. "Ah, see? It's so tight. Does it feel good for you?"
"Feels so good. Love when you fuck me Sei,"
Love. His thoughts loop back around again to what he was thinking about at the start.
"You feel good to me. Really good." And then, not thinking about it at all. "I love you,"
You tense, looking over your shoulder - looking out of it, dazed. Unsure. "W-what?"
"Huh? I said I love you,"
"S-Seishiro?"
Your pussy grinds down on him again. You liked hearing that, huh?
"I love you," He says, and you whimper - audible. "I wanted to tell you before."
"Sei—"
...!
He stops again before picking back upon a brutal pace almost instantly. It feels right. No mercy as he pounds his cock in and out of you - suddenly feeling like something's possessed.
Your hands reach back to try and push him out but they're so weak it's almost ticklish.
"Sorry. Later," He says, fucking you with every ounce of effort he can finds - rubbing your clit with nasty precision. Each moan sounds punched out of you, breathy and high. "You're so cute."
And you are, Nagi thinks. He's starting to understand. You're cute in a different way that everything else cute is. That's special to you. It's all so cute to him.
You repeat his name again and again. Nagi never gets sick of hearing you say it somehow. He wonders why it only just clicked that this is something he can have. He wishes he would've figured it out sooner.
"Sei," You say, mindless - unthinking. He can feel your whole body tighten, tension making your limbs wind back. Fingers clawing in the sheets, toes curled up, spine curving into a 'C' as the pressure in your gut slowly unravels and throbs around him.
Nagi keeps pace - multitasking well enough that you don't falter. Laser-focused, he wants to know what it's like to make you cum from his own hands. His own ego. He wants to know how you feel underneath when your body gives out from pleasure - in the same way he wants other things. Completely selfishly, a hunger gnawing in his gut as you get close to the edge. He doesn't stop, doesn't slow, doesn't falter. He pounds into you as you gasp and tremble without a sense of mercy.
Raw desire burrows itself into his chest and blooms inside the space between his bones. His eyes almost hurt from how hard he focuses.
Finally, you call his name once more - your cunt spasming relentlessly around him. Hot, so hot - his dick almost hurts from how hard he wants to cum before you.
"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck—cumming, I'm cumming!"
Nagi groans as you cum. His cock nearly slips out from how hard you pulse around him, waves of your own cum and arousal frothing around the base of his cock from how hard he fucks you. A wet liquid sprays against his thighs as he bottoms out while you ride your high. His own body gives up on holding back as soon as he feels you cumming.
Two thrusts more and he's spilling his seed into you full. Hot, thick ropes of cum paint your insides white as he pants. He almost collapses over you, the both of you breathing hard from exhaustion as the high starts to cum down. He can barely think.
It's annoying he's still hard, but he's not quite tired. He hasn't gone soft.
"Nagi-kun,"
"Seishiro," He corrects. You look over your shoulder at him in surprise. Nagi looks back plainly.
"Uhm. Right. Seishiro-kun. Did you...did you mean to say that?"
"What? That I love you?"
"Yeah. Or was it a heat of the moment thing?"
"Huh? Why would it be that?" He says, earnestly confused. For someone reason this makes you giggle. "I meant it. I just figured it out."
You pause. "...While we were having sex?"
"Huh? Yeah. You were really cute like that."
"What the—did you call me cute?"
"Yeah. Do you not like that?"
"I didn't—It's not that I didn't like it but it's... I would've never imagined you saying it to me,"
He wonders why. You're plenty cute. It's just that Nagi only recently really figured out what the word was. He shrugs. You chuckle.
"What were you going to do if I didn't like you?"
He pauses. "I didn't think about it. Do you not like me?"
You laugh harder this time. "That's so like you. I do like you, Sei-kun. I love you too,"
"Then it's fine," He hums., noncommittally. You giggle.
"I guess so."
A pause. Nagi loves the warmth of your body under him. He wants to keep cuddling but something bugs him.
"Can we go again like this? It won't go down."
...
"... Seriously? Normally it takes you a minute."
"I think it's cause you said you love me." Nagi adds.
"Oh my god. Did I just unleash something in you? You've never acted like this before, like ever."
Nagi shrugs. It'd be good to get use to it now, he thinks.
"Maybe. Can't we?"
You squirm underneath him and Nagi feels himself twitch. Your face warms. See? You're plenty cute, he thinks.
"...I guess it's fine."
He nods. "I wanna do it while looking at you this time. Okay?"
"God. Sure. Okay."
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syluslnd · 3 months ago
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Hi! Sorry if this is a long request but I remember very early on Sylus saying that he gets easily bored when things aren't exciting and it's mentioned in 1 of his character notes. I was wondering if I can please request a HC were the reader and Sylus are in a relationship but the reader thinks they are just fwb because they remember Sylus saying he gets bored easily, meanwhile Sylus thinks they're in a committed relationship and gets confused when he over hears the reader (maybe talking to her friend?) Saying how she wishes she sometimes had a boyfriend so they could do all the "normal couple things" and he confronts her about it? Thank you!
Sylus claiming you as his
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You sat on the edge of the bed, your phone pressed to your ear, your voice soft as you talked to your friend. Sylus was across the room, looking relaxed as he read something on his datapad, seemingly disinterested in your conversation. But that couldn't be further from the truth.
"I just wish I had a boyfriend" you said, a sigh escaping your lips. "Someone to do, you know, couple stuff with. Like dates, going out... all those normal things."
You didn't notice the way Sylus's fingers tightened around the edge of the datapad or the way his sharp gaze flicked toward you at that exact moment. But in the next heartbeat before you could react he was beside you ripping the phone from your grasp with a speed that left you breathless.
"What the hell did you just say sweetie?" His voice was low but there was an edge to it-one that sent a shiver down your spine.
"Sylus, what-" you began but he cut you off, pressing the phone to his chest as he glared down at you, eyes darkening.
"You wish you had a boyfriend?" He repeated your words with a scoff, his brow furrowed. "What do you think this is? Some kind of joke?"
You blinked up at him, heart stuttering. "I thought we weren't... I mean, I didn't think we were actually-"
"Not actually what kitten?" he interrupted, voice rising just slightly. His usual calm, teasing demeanor was gone, replaced by something hard, intense and almost... hurt. "You thought this was some casual thing? Some fling?"
Your mouth opened, but nothing came out.
In truth, you had no idea how to answer that.
You'd convinced yourself that Sylus would get bored, that this was all temporary and that treating it like anything more would only end in heartbreak.
His lips curled into a tight, humorless smile.
"Sweetie” he said, voice dripping with disbelief “I don't know what kind of 'fling' you think this is but I sure as hell didn't sign up for that."
The tension in the room was suffocating, the air thick with unspoken emotions. You bit your lip, trying to gather your thoughts. "You said... you get bored easily” you murmured, your voice barely audible. "I thought... maybe you'd get bored of me too."
For a moment, Sylus said nothing, just stared at you like he was trying to process what you'd just confessed. Then, without warning, a low, incredulous laugh bubbled up from his throat.
"Bored? Kitten, are you serious right now?"
Before you could respond, Sylus closed the distance between you, his hands finding your waist as he yanked you closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. "You think I'd be spending all my time with you, putting up with all your little antics, if I wasn't serious?"
Your breath hitched as his fingers dug into your skin just enough to make you squirm.
He was mad, no doubt about it but there was something else underneath that anger-something possessive, something that sent heat coursing through your veins.
"You don't need a boyfriend" he murmured, his lips trailing down the side of your neck, his breath warm against your skin. "You already have one."
Your heart stuttered at his words and you felt him smirk against your throat as he started to press slow, deliberate kisses there. "But if you really need proof.."
He bit down gently on your skin, pulling a gasp from your lips as he sucked hard enough to leave a mark—a claim. "I'll remind you."
Your pulse quickened, your hands instinctively gripping his shoulders as he worked his way along your neck, leaving a trail of hickies in his wake. "S-Sylus..." you breathed but the word came out shaky, almost desperate.
"What?" he teased, lips brushing against your collarbone now. "Isn't this what couples do? A normal boyfriend would mark what's his, wouldn't he?"
He tugged at the collar of your blouse, undoing the buttons one by one, his hands moving with practiced ease. Your heart raced, anticipation building as your skin was exposed to the cool air. Sylus's fingers skimmed over the bare skin of your chest, making you shiver, his touch sending a wave of heat through your entire body.
"Sylus" you tried again, your voice coming out in a mix of breathlessness and embarrassment. "This���this isn't..."
"Not couple enough for you?" he finished for you, voice teasing now, the anger from earlier fading into something playful, dangerous. "Because I can keep going, kitten. I can show you just how committed I am."
He kissed you again, harder this time, his tongue tracing the marks he'd left behind and you whimpered softly, your body arching into him as his hands slipped under your blouse. He grinned against your skin, his fingers tracing patterns down your spine as he leaned into you.
"You don't need to look anywhere else” he whispered, voice dark and possessive.
"Because you're already mine. Understand?"
His lips met yours then a kiss that was rough and consuming, filled with all the emotions he hadn't spoken aloud and in that moment, with his body pressing you into the bed and his hands exploring every inch of your skin, you knew one thing for certain:
You'd never been more his than you were right now.
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maskedbyghost · 4 months ago
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Heyyy, it's me again, but this time we're talking situationship!Simon—aka the biggest fuckboy you'll ever meet. Honestly, girl, I have no idea why you're still putting up with him!
you can’t even define what you two have, but one thing’s for sure—he knows how to use his dick, and you're both free to mess around with whoever you want. but of course, you had to fall for him, for that stupid smile he swore only you were special enough to see, for the gentle touch that lingered on your skin during those rare nights when he stayed longer than usual. you fell for the way he made you feel like you were the exception, even though deep down, you knew better.
you fell for how he made you feel like you were everything, even though he’d always leave just as quickly. he knew exactly how to keep you hooked—giving just enough to make you believe in him, but never enough to make it real. you wanted more, but every time he left, you remembered that his promises were as short-lived as his visits. still, you couldn’t stop going back, hoping that maybe this time, he’d actually mean it.
but he never did. you’d have fun for a few hours, but then he’d leave, acting like you didn’t exist around everyone else. he’d flirt with other girls right in front of you, not even bothering to hide it when he left with them, almost like he wanted you to see.
and every time, it hurt a little more, but you couldn’t bring yourself to end it. you told yourself you didn’t care, that it was just fun, but deep down, you wanted to be the one he stayed with. yet, no matter how much it hurt to watch him with someone else, the moment he came back, all that anger faded, and you let him in again, caught in the hope that maybe someday he’d truly see you as more than just a temporary fix.
one night, you tried to have a serious conversation with him, hoping that if you laid out your feelings, he might finally understand. but he dismissed your emotions with a shrug, listing reasons why he didn’t want a relationship: he was too focused on his career, he wasn’t ready for commitment, and he just didn’t want to deal with the complications. simon insisted that keeping things as they were was the best option for both of you.
afterward, as you lay together, a clear realization hit you. even though you were physically close, you couldn’t ignore the emptiness you felt. that night you made a silent promise to yourself: this would be the last time you let him in, and the last time you let yourself be trapped in this cycle.
and, being the dumb man he was, simon only came to realize what he had lost after you were gone. a few weeks after your last conversation, he saw you a few times out with other guys, laughing and flirting as if you were moving on. it hit him hard—a painful mix of jealousy and regret. he realized that he missed you, but at the same time, he knew he had no right to these feelings. not after treating you the way he did.  
he managed to keep his calm for a few more days, but the weight of his regret grew unbearable. finally, he snapped and called you into his office late one night, claiming he needed to discuss the upcoming mission with you.
as soon as you walked in, simon felt his heart tighten in his chest. seeing your face calm, confident, like you had already moved on, stirred something deeper than he expected. there was no trace of the vulnerability you used to show around him, no lingering affection. he realized, in that moment, just how much he had pushed you away. regret surged through him, sharper than he imagined, and he knew this conversation wouldn’t be easy.
after talking about unimportant stuff for a few minutes, simon took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “i know i messed up, and i’m sorry for how i treated you. i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened, and i realize now how much i regret it. i was wrong to push you away.”
you looked at him, your expression guarded. “it’s a little too late for apologies, simon, don't you think? you had plenty of chances to get it right, and now you’re just trying to fix things because you see me with someone else.”
he tried to reach out, his voice softening. “i know it’s not enough, but i want to make things right. i can’t stop thinking about what we had.”
you shook your head, stepping back. “you had your chance, and you threw it away. i’m not going to be your second choice or your backup plan.”
"y/n-"
"no, simon!" you sighed, closing your eyes briefly to gather your thoughts. when you spoke again, your voice was steady, "you know, some people never fade from memory. they leave a mark that lingers just beneath the surface, no matter how hard you try to move on. but to be honest, i’m not in the mood for any more humiliation or heartbreak. so, this is my final goodbye to you."
you could sense that he wanted to say something, but you couldn’t let him speak before you had your say. “go ahead and fill your life with new faces, as if i were nothing but a distant memory. enjoy your freedom and let others wear you out as they please. i’m done being part of that. keep moving forward, and if you ever try to reach out, know that i’ll let your calls go unanswered. for now, i’m celebrating the end of our chapter.”
even as he heard you declare the end, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he still wanted you in his life. he was stuck between guilt and the lingering hope that maybe he could still fix things. despite your rejection, part of him struggled to accept that he had truly lost you, and he felt powerless to change the situation or let you go.
simon’s face twisted with a mix of desperation and anger. “you think you can just walk away and erase everything we had? you think you can move on and leave me behind like I’m nothing?” he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but his voice was filled with raw intensity. “don’t fool yourself, i still want you, and i won’t just let you go. you’re mine, whether you like it or not. i know i’ve made mistakes, but i’m not done fighting for what we had. if you think you can find someone better, go ahead. but know this: i’ll keep groveling and doing whatever it takes until you take me back. i’m not going anywhere, and i’ll make sure you remember what we had.” he took a step back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.
you just smirked, turning on your heel to leave. as you reached the door, you glanced back over your shoulder with a cold, confident look. “i can’t wait to see you on your knees,” you said, your voice sharp. then, you walked out, leaving him alone with his mess.
game on.
(I WANT HIM TO GROVEL FOR MONTHSSSS)
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@daydreamerwoah
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muxshwriting · 2 months ago
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alone together
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Seth Clearwater x reader
summary: your boyfriend doesn't realise his own strength. it doesn't usually bother you until you realise that he's leaving something more permanent with his hugs || warnings: bruises, being loved to death, mentions of insecurity (like one sentence), characters aged up to like 18ish || word count: 921 || masterlist
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The moment Seth imprinted on you, he knew the rest of his life would be perfect. He'd heard from the others how amazing it felt to find your imprint but no one truly prepared him for when he first saw you. You'd been friends before he shifted but when he saw you again months after that, when he truly saw you, it was like nothing else in the world.
You spent almost every evening at the Clearwater's, your own parents understanding how much Seth meant to you. He quickly became your everything, your day was never good unless you saw him. And your day was never perfect until you were wrapped up in one of his hugs.
"Better?" His arms wrapped around you until they were pressing into your skin. Sometimes you needed to feel like your body wasn't yours, that you and him were one and the same so that his perfectness might rub off on you.
You hum in response, burrowing further into his neck and relishing in his warmth. The pair of you are sitting on the sofa at his house, simply taking time to be with each together without needing to do anything else. "Just a rough day."
His touch sooths you as his comforting weight around your midsection deepens and calms the feeling crawling through your chest. "You wanna talk about it?" His voice is muffled against you but the concern in it has your heart melting.
"No. It's getting better."
"Happy to help."
Almost a week later you're helping Leah bake some cookies for the pack at her house. Seth's out on patrol with a few of the other boys. You lean against the counter before going back to upright with a hiss of pain.
"You okay?"
Your eyes widen as you turn to Leah. "Yeah. It's fine."
"It doesn't sound fine."
"It's just a bruise."
Leah seems to relax that it's not serious. "Oh. How did you bruise your side? Fell off the bike or what?"
You laugh at her suggestion but don't answer the question.
"How'd you do it?"
"Um... It's from Seth."
"From my brother Seth? Your imprint? My little brother Seth?" Leah's face turned cold as her mind ran to the worst possibility.
"Not on purpose!" You're trying to reassure her but it only makes her more suspicious. "I had a rough day at work and stuff ad I just needed him to hold me. But with his wolf strength I guess he hugs a little too tight. I didn't even notice until a couple days ago."
Leah ran her hands through her hair, pulling at it slightly as she processed what she heard. "Does he know?"
"I don't want him to worry. Or not hug me because of it."
"Show me."
Slowly, you pull up the hem of your shirt, revealing the bruised and inflamed skin of your side and bottom of your ribs.
Leah has a sharp intake of breath as she sees the extent on your injury. "We might need to tell my mom about this."
You pull your shirt back down, gently wrapping your arms around you as if to shield yourself. "It's fine." You dismiss.
"It's really not." Leah argues. "Just let her check."
She's not giving in anytime soo so you concede. "Okay. But I don't think she can do anything about it. She's just gonna tell me to put a heat pack on it, which is why I have Seth."
Seth, at that very moment, comes back from patrol and waltzes in. "What do you have me for?" He presses a kiss to your forehead, wrapping an arm around your waist. It takes everything in you to not hiss as he rests his hand on the bruise as Leah raises an eyebrow at you.
"Don't worry about it." You kiss him back, letting you senses be surrounded by him for a moment before Leah clears her throat.
"It's not nothing. Tell him."
Seth, ever oblivious, asks "Tell me what?"
You sigh, reaching for the hem of your shirt but not lifting it yet. "You know how I had a rough day last week?"
"Yeah..."
"And you hugged me really tight cos I asked you to?"
"Yeah."
"It kinda left a bruise. But it's fine! Leah's making it out to be a much bigger deal than it is and all I need is my personal hot water bottle and it'll be healed in no time." You lift the hem of your shirt to show him and Seth immediately starts fussing.
"Babe, this is a big bruise."
"It doesn't hurt that bad." Just at that moment Seth rests his hand on top and you can't stop the groan you let out. "...Only when I touch it."
"I want my mom to look at it."
"That's what I said!" Leah cried.
The two siblings started talking over one another about the best thing to do, whether they should go right now, whether you should even move or if it's best for you to go to bed. Their voices grew louder than just talking and you felt yourself shrinking back from them.
"I'm sorry."
Seth's mood immediately charges as he cups your face. "You don't need to be sorry for anything, okay? I'm sorry I did this to you."
"I don't want you to be sorry."
"Why don't we just go upstairs and cuddle, yeah? More gently this time."
You nod in response.
"Mom can have a look later. Let's just do nothing."
"Do nothing together?"
"Of course."
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secretlovezz · 1 year ago
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Simon with an s/o who has a cat
Prt.2 here! <-
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He hates your cat 😭
Their literally mortal enemies it's ridiculous
The cat glares at Simon 24/7 and he stares right back
You finally make it home after a stressful day at work ready to shower and relax. You open the front door and call out, "I'm home!" You get no response. It makes your brows furrow in confusion, having been used to a little furry friend lying on your unused shoes waiting for you to get home or hearing the heavy steps of your boyfriend making his way toward you. But today there was no welcome wagon for you.
Your heart immediately racks in worry the once steady beat of it moving to an unnaturally quick pace. Your hands move faster to remove your shoes and jacket wanting to look for the person and cat that once populated your apartment.
You call out again, "Simon? My Baby?"
"In here, dove." At the sound of your lover's voice, you're on the move heading to where his voice had been most prominent.
When you get to Simon- in the bathroom -he's clad in only a towel water still dripping from his hair and body and condensation on the mirror signifying he's just gotten out of the shower. Then your gaze goes to his face and his eyes aren't on you they're focused on something on the counter.
Your cat.
They're staring at each other both of them refusing to look away from one another. They were barely blinking. Then you realize why Simon's having a glaring contest with your pet, it's because the cat was on his clothes refusing to move out of pure stubbornness.
Suddenly you're glaring at the both of them too, "Are you guys being serious right now? This is getting ridiculous," you tell them and with Simon's response you roll your eyes and walk away.
"Oh, this is deadly serious, love"
Sometimes when Simon walks by your cat it latches onto Simon's leg kicking and biting the shit out of him (your poor boyfriend is just about ready to chuck the cat into outer space)
Your little fur baby definitely steals or tries to steal food from Simon's plates. Simon swears the cat gets stronger when determined to get into his stuff
Simon's cups have been knocked off of tables more often then not being left to clean up a mess that isn't his
Your looking up from your plate of food as soon as you hear grumbles and silverware clanking roughly against a porcelain plate. You smile a little at the sight in front of you. Simon's pushing your cats head back away from his food, while the cat uses all of his strength. Simon's scowl at the animal only gets deeper when he sees you smile at his unfortunate situation.
"You better not be smilin'," He says annoyance clear in his tone.
Now your laughing, a sound simon usually adores, one that makes his body relax, one that makes him feel safe, but now it has him clenching his jaw and has his eyebrows furrowed.
"Make 'im stop," He growls.
You pretent to think about it for a moment, pointer finger tapping your chin in faux thought, "I don't know si... this is thoroughly entertaining. What's in it for me if I help you?" The vein on his arm looked like it might burst at your question.
"If you don't get this dammed cat away from me it's gonna go missin'," you roll your eyes at his dramatics but called your cat to you regardless.
When you cuddle with one of them the other gets sooooo jealous
Simon will literally toss your little baby off the bed
The cat hits and claws for simon to get away from you
(Your constantly having to scold them its like having two children)
These two will argue with each other Simon's voice is stern its how you imagine he talks to new recruits and your cat is meowing loudly at him clearing cussing him tf out
Groggily peeling open your crused eyes open but quickly closing them as the bright morning sun peeked through your bedroom window you start to awaken. You rubbed into your eyes with the back of your fist before opening them again moving to look at the clock on the bedside table.
11:23
You slept in, or really someone let you sleep in because to your right your boyfriend seemed to have long since left the bed leaving the side he usually accompanied empty and cold.
You stretched and groaned the sheets and blankets moved with you weird groans and grunts leaving your yawning mouth as your joints crackled and popped. You sat up in bed still drowsy with sleep barley aware of your surroundings but still you gripped the enormous blanket and wrapped it around yourself as an act to shield the breezy-ness of the winter weather that leaked into your apartment.
Mreeeooow!
Your head whips to the door at the loud sound. Your cat was talkative but he was never very loud about him. This time the usual cute sound was replaced with an almost screech that made you cringe.
You take a deep breath before standing up and making your way to your room door. Once you open it the sounds of your cat get louder and now you can hear Simon too. His voice is booming but isn't loud it's stern and serious but filled with frustration and anger.
As you walk down the hall to the living area your duvet drag behind you on the floor. The floor creaks and groans under your feet alerting the two others in your home. Both their heads snap towards you. Your little baby's ears are pinned back in airplane mode and his pupils are dilated. Your big baby has his nose scrunched and lips downturned into a frown.
Your voice is laced with tiredness and a little deeper than it normally is, "What are you two arguing about this time?" The back of your hand is rubbing one of your eyes again as you speak.
"The little fucker is bein' disrespectful, he's not listenin' to me."
The cat meows loudly in response to Simon seeming trying to say he was lying.
You sigh and move to pick your cat up, he turns to putty in your arms and nuzzles his head against your chin. You walk towards Simon now. Leaning into him and humming contently when he wrapped his arms around you and the little one in your arms pretending to be annoyed but fully relaxing against your body.
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strawberrygyuuuu · 9 months ago
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𝐓𝐗𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒
Genre —> Fluff
—> what it's like being in a relationship with them.
ˎˊ₊˚﹕﹒₊‧ ﹒₊˚𓂃・୨୧・ˎˊ₊˚﹕﹒₊‧ ﹒₊˚𓂃
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YEONJUN
• He's so cutie
• loves having at least a hand on your thigh or around your waist bc it makes him feel at ease
• it's also js a natural reflex to just swing his arm around you or sum
• I can see him liking physical affection; or just any affection at that tbh
• he's just so opening loving especially to you so even if your love language isn't physically affectionate it's not a problem to him at all
• I believe his love language is a little bit of everything but more heavy on gift giving, quality time and physical affection.
• he loves gifting you stuff, he has the money and he may not always have the time so gifting you something he knows you'll like or heard you said you wanted is a way to show you that he still cares
• quality time because he knows y'all can't always be together because of his schedules and stuff but he tries
• anytime he can he'll send you a quick text to check up on you or a quick I love you text, maybe call for a few minutes or a quick visit on his lunch break to you
• physical affection because idk I feel like he's so cuddly, esp when he's sleepy or it's been a long day, a long time since he's seen you (like after tour for example).
• he lets you glam him up
• like...full on you can dress him how you like, makeup, heels, cute hair clips, babe have fun he's just happy to be there and that you're happy
• happy you = happy Junnie
• he's also a guy who would stare at you in such a lovesick way just in full adoration staring at you
SOOBIN
• soft giant
• yeah, he's tall asf but he's so gentle and sweet
• he was shy in the first month or two in the relationship before getting more comfortable with initiating things first n stuff
• if y'all were good friends before dating I think he'll be a little less shy, but not by much. Just a little more confidence
• he gives you piggyback rides, sometimes you don't have to ask like, if your feet hurt from walk or sum he'll gladly put you on his back or tell you to get in his bsck
• I think his love language is quality time and gift giving
• just being in the sa room as him doing your own thing, vibing
• or clinging to each other and talking, or just clinging to each other doing your own thing
• gift giving because I think he wants you to remember he loves you even if he can't always verbally tell you
• he's shy leave him alone😭
• he's trying to get better at words of affirmation tho so it's ok
• tucks you into bed and kisses your forehead, tell me I'm wrong you can't.
BEOMGYU
• It's definitely never boring
• the dates? Always spontaneous
• like..it can be a random afternoon on Tuesday and he'll just start getting ready and you have no choice but to follow him lol
• it could js be a walk, walking to nowhere in specific and if y'all find a cafe or a store you guys haven't seen before best believe you guys are going to explore that shit lol
• not all dates ofc, some are planned and romantic
• teases you a lot and is very playful but knows when to stop
• he doesn't over do it, usually just to get your attention tbh
• and this boy almost always wants your attention but it's okay bc you love him
• loves putting your hair in little ponytails on the top of your head on each side and literally pouts so much if you try and take it out or complain about it
• he giggles and is happy tho so ig it's worth it
• I think he sometimes try and wake up a little earlier just to spoil you; gifts, food, ur fav snacks and drinks and some new clothes or orders lots of stuff from online websites just to surprise you
• ofc there are moments where he knows to be serious or to calm down and enjoy the moment together w you
• he's the sweetest and is just v playful, pls be kind to him.
TAEHYUN
• he may seem cold or mean ig but he's so gentle and nice like he is the dream
• he's okay with physical affection but it's not his favorite, doesn't mean he'll complain or try and get you off if you initiate some from time to time though
• when sleeping, he will cuddle you because that's how he gets good sleep at night so enjoy it babes
• words of affirmation and quality time
• hes good at telling you words of affirmation, compliments and even tho he says I love you in special moments, he still tells you things to let you know he does love you, so much.
• I feel like quality time is obvious; I think he's more kept to himself but can be very fun and expressive at times
• spending time with you in the same room is something he likes doing
• it's comfort to him just by you being near him or beside him
• loves going places with you even if you've been there multiple times before. He just wants to be with you even if it's walking for ten minutes
• he writes cute & short notes to you before leaving for work usually because he leaves and wakes up earlier then you
• he DEF has a memory box of the things you've gifted him to cherish
• he adores you and loves you so so much, he trusts you and you're his first priority; over his work too.
• idk guys he's a keeper
HUENINGKAI
• soft giant pt.2
• memory box of things you've given him pt.2
• you guys gift each other plushies and stuffed animals bc it's like a cute little thing y'all do
• def keeps the stuffed animals/plushies you give him somewhere special separate from his plushies
• physical affection, words of affirmation
• he loves to cuddle, hold hands, kisses, hugs, literally anything he adores you
• he's so sweet and kind and gentle and soft ARUGH OTL
• he is the golden retriever bf
• really likes telling you how pretty you are or how he thinks your hair looks cute that day and expects you to also give him compliments
• actually, you better give him compliments and love him with all your heart bc he worships the ground you walk on so pls take good care of this big baby he's a sweet thang
• never had a bad word towards you or raises his voice at you
• I can see him sometimes trying to wrestle you a little but it's so gently it's just cute and y'all are a giggling mess
• JS LOVE THIS BOY PLS HE DESERVES THE WORLD
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tyunni · 10 months ago
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┈➤ I LIKE YOU SO MUCH!!! (when ENHYPEN like you...)
enhypen masterlist | library
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genre: fluff, fluff, fluff! warnings: i'm not sure if any specific gender is mentioned but keep in mind i do tend to usually write fem!reader, enha r kinda losers, mentions of being drunk in jakes part, isnt proofread so if you see any mistakes.... oh well! wc: 2.6k+
a/n: good lord, i haven't written anything in MONTHS so i'm a bit rusty 😭 i started writing maknae line first im p sure you can tell i put more effort in them and then i started getting tired, sorry😭😭😭
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☆ — LEE HEESEUNG
who would've thought the cool, the chill, the awesome lee heeseung would end up being such a loser. a lovestruck, foolishly in love loser.
your fingers lightly grazed his hand when you walked past him in the hallway today, a touch that lasted a mere second, yet heeseung's heart exploded, and so did his friends' group chat when he boasted about your interaction like you had just asked his hand in marriage. he knows being lovesick is lame, but so what?! he can't help that he melts into a pink puddle of adoration whenever you make small talk, or when he closes his eyes an image of you pops into his head and makes his palms feel sweaty. yes, he feels his knees go weak at the mere mention of your name, and he's willing to endure his younger friends teasing him every time they spot you hanging out with your own group of friends.
so what if you're the only thing on his mind every second of his day. it's completely normal to make playlists for your crush, giggle, and roll around in your bed when you let the lyrics sink in and fill your head with the thoughts of the one you desire.
it's also totally normal of him to write down little compliments on a piece of paper and put them on your desk when you're not looking. he giggles like a little girl when you open the note and read not even a third fraction of what heeseung truly thinks of you and wishes to tell you one day. his smile grows wider when you finally read the initials written on the note, LHS, and you look over to his desk with your cheeks dusted pink, widened eyes looking into heeseung's.
(rest of the members under the cut!!)
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☆ — PARK JONGSEONG
jay is very fond of you, he accepted that quite quickly. you're cute. he likes cute stuff, that's something new he has discovered since he started to fancy you.
"jay, are you serious?" - riki turned towards the older with a blank face, tired of his friends new shopping addiction, - "you have like 4 hello kitty stuffed toys in your bedroom, you don't need another one."
ah, innocent, naive riki. he doesn't know having a crush makes one forget about any form of rationality and make every decision without giving it another thought. jay is the number one victim of the 'everything reminds me of them' disease, he feels every wrinkle of his brain smoothen whenever he thinks of you, so it's not a surprise that he can't control his hand as he swipes his credit card and buys himself another plushie with a lovestruck grin on his face.
"are you even listening to me?" - the younger complains, jabbing jay's arm with his elbow to get at least a little reaction out of him. if anything else but you were on jay's mind this would've worked and he would've scolded riki by now, talking his ear off about how annoying he is, clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes at his childishness. but it doesn't work.
"you're such a cheeseball, y/n has made you soft, jay, she's ruining you!"
but riki's words fall on deaf ears the second jay's eyes land on another cute stuffed animal that had reminded him of you as he grabs his friend's arm roughly and drags him into yet another store.
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☆ — SIM JAEYUN
oh, he's down bad. jake would do anything for you. yes, even walking all the way from his house to the party you were at just to pick you up and walk you home, making sure you reach your house safely.
you called him in the middle of the night, the buzzing of his phone waking jake up. he groaned at the brightness of his screen flashing his newly opened eyes, yet at the sight of your name he rubbed the sleepiness off them, quickly picking up your call.
"jake, i'm drunk!"
and that's all it took for him to jump out of his bed and run towards his destination. surely enough you were waiting outside for him, a big smile growing on your face at the sight of him.
sure, he was extremely tired and out of breath, his voice was still groggy from waking up around 10 minutes ago, the cold, chilly night yet to have its effect on him and wake him up completely, yet he still let you ride on his back when you started complaining about how your heels hurt your feet.
you had been talking to him about something, even though you had no idea what you were saying with the way your words were slurred, your voice muffled by his jacket. jake was nodding his head, humming after a few sentences to make sure you knew he was listening, even though he didn't know what he was listening to. you started off by talking about the party, and somewhere along the way you got lost in your own words and so did jake. his soft hums and the steady rhythm of his feet lulled you to sleep, and when he felt your eyelashes close against the nape of his neck, your breath falling onto his skin as your cheek rested further upon his shoulder is when he finally let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head, stopping in his tracks to close his eyes and think to himself:
"fuck, i love her, don't i?"
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☆ — PARK SUNGHOON
sunghoon is desperately in love with you. he can't help it, butterflies swarm his stomach when he thinks about you, a sheepish grin makes its way onto his features when you talk to him, his eyes dart across your face every chance he gets so he can burn every second spent with you right into his memory.
"sunghoon, do you think this looks good or should i try on the blue sweater?"
to be completely honest, even if you wore a trash bag he'd think you looked gorgeous, and he hadn't been paying attention to any outfit you had shown him so far, your smile which grew wider with each compliment he gave you the only thing on his mind.
"you look beautiful, y/n."
"oh, come on, sunghoon! you've been telling me this about every outfit!" - you groan, yet a grin is still plastered on your face at his sweet words, "you have to help me!"
sunghoon tries, he really tries to hold himself back. his teeth sink into his tongue in hopes of biting back the words that were about to slip out, yet they still do. and so does his little secret.
"it's not my fault i'm in love with you!"
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☆ — KIM SUNOO
sunoo is a sweet guy. everyone likes him: the teachers, the students, his friends, and complete strangers. his smile is contagious, his face is soft and beautiful, his eyes crinkle up when he smiles, and he's kind, helpful, friendly. who wouldn't like him? well, you, apparently.
it's not that he's intrigued by your cold attitude towards him, he's simply determined to make you like him just like everyone else. it's quite difficult to get to know you though, you don't speak to anyone except a select few. if your friends don't come to school you usually sit alone, either mindlessly scribbling in your notebook, or sleeping. you always have that look on your face. one of pure boredom, uninterest, that "why are you even talking to me" face.
sunoo thinks it's stupid. how could you not be thrilled to talk to the people around you? how is it even possible to not want to get to know everyone, to grow your circle, have new people to talk to and share experiences with.
you know who sunoo is. everyone knows who sunoo is. when he walks past you down the hallway he's always waving at someone, stopping in his tracks a few times to have a little small talk, then quickly picking up his pace once the bell rings so he gets to make it in time for class. it doesn't matter if he's late though, the teachers adore him like he's their own son, and he hasn't gotten a single second of detention. sunoo has the sunshine privilege. that's unfair. you don't like when things are unfair. you don't like the sunshine privilege. you don't like sunoo.
so you avoid him.
but he somehow still finds his way back to you.
"she totally hates you, dude, get over it," - sunghoon groans, shoving another loaf of bread into his mouth, and threatening to shove some into sunoo's mouth so he stops talking about you for the fifth time today.
"but why?! i didn't even do anything to her, i tried talking to her every single day since she moved here, i'm nice, i'm helpful, i'm a great guy, what am i doing wrong?!" - the younger boy whines into his palms, head buried in his hands, trying to come up with a way to win you over.
one of his other friends chimes into the conversation, taking a seat in between his friends and playfully wrapping his arm around sunoo, - "it's okay, man, there must be a way to get your little crush to like you!"
sunoo whips his head towards the boy, eyebrows furrowed so deeply that you'd think they'd merge into one another any second. - "heeseung, it's not a crush!"
sunghoon chuckles at his oblivious friend, - "is too!"
"... is it?"
you are kinda cute. your attitude, although not sunoo's style, makes you look even more adorable. you have pretty lips too, although you're always frowning. he thinks you'd look better with the corners of your lips turned upwards though. he wants to see you smile. he wants to make you smile. he wants to make you his.
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☆ — YANG JUNGWON
jungwon thinks he's a pretty chill guy. he's always been levelheaded. most of the time he's the only levelheaded person in the room, to be completely honest. he knows what to say and when to say it. although he resembles a cat, the saying "cat got your tongue" had never applied to him. so why is he standing in front of you, his crush, ready to have his very first conversation with you, without a single word coming out of his mouth?
"oh, hey! jungwon, right?" - you ask, sending a soft smile his way.
you know his name. you know his name. you know his name.
"huh? yeah... i'm jungwon. um..." - his confident smile fades instantly when it really sinks in that he has no idea what to say to you. he always knows what to say, how could this happen to him?! this is ridiculous. if he weren't standing in front of you right now he'd slap himself in hopes of rattling his brain somehow.
your eyebrows furrow at the awkward silence taking over, - "do you need anything, jungwon?"
his name falls past your lips so gracefully that if hearing you say his name followed with the three words he wants to say to you the most means he must sell his every worldly possession, he will. but he can't tell you that. he can't tell you how pretty your eyes are either, he can't tell you that he wants to hold your hand, or wrap his arms around you and keep you in his warm embrace for a little while. or how he wants to bury his head in the crook of your neck and bask in your warmth, or that you're the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on and it'd be an honor to take you out on a date. yeah, he definitely can't say that.
"you're the most beautiful person i've ever laid my eyes on, it'd be an honor to take you out on a date..."
it's over. he's a goner.
the way you twiddle with your fingers at his confession goes completely unnoticed despite his big round eyes growing wider at his own words. he's too far gone to see how a warm smile had made its way onto your face.
"sure, i'd love to!"
it's not over. in fact, it's just getting started.
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☆ — NISHIMURA RIKI
riki is quite good at hiding his crush on you, considering how the overwhelming feelings have such a weight to them that he's sure his heart doubles at the mere mention of your name to make room for the intense emotions that'll start kicking in. you two aren't dating, although he wishes you were, and you're most definitely not best friends. he knows you, you know him, you think he's nice, he thinks about you every second of every day, y'know, the usual...
"riki, hey!" - you push through the crowd of students walking around a narrow hallway that could only be described as a jar filled to the brim with tiny little ants, very studious one's at that!
his friends' heads immediately turn your way. a girl, talking to riki?! although their eyes don't stay glued on you for too long, they quickly glance at riki. the sight was hilarious, his long fingers were brushing through his disheveled hair, free hand tugging at the hem of his hoodie to smoothen out any wrinkles. there's a soft tint of pink spread across his cheeks, nothing too noticeable, although the burning red glow of his ears was far from discreet.
"y/n, hey!" - he grins, the hand combing through his hair now scratching the nape of his neck to try and play it cool... very smooth! a muffled laugh escapes from one of his friend's shut lips as their orbs dart between the boy and you.
you reach into your pocket, rummaging through the various things you keep inside. crackling of your house keys and noises of crumpled-up paper can be heard before you take out something. riki's eyes try their best to tear away from your mesmerizing features so he can see what you're trying to show him with your arm stretched towards him and a big grin on your face. he notices a little something lying on your palm. it's a duck keychain. if you were any other person he'd look at the item in your hand with a disgusted look on his face, eyebrows knitted together, eyes squinting in pure horror. but you're you. you're the love of his life. that's probably why riki can feel his heart thumping against his ribcage, a stupid smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he tries his best to fight it off, yet the inevitable happens.
"take it, it's a gift! i saw it on the way to school and it reminded me of you!"
he quickly takes the keychain from your palm, ensuring his fingers stray as far away from yours as possible. even the slightest bit of physical contact and he feels his heart will explode for good. he mumbles out a thank you before you turn on your heels and walk away, completely oblivious that the butterflies in his stomach now make their way towards his throat, making him swallow dry.
"hey, riki, what's that?" - jungwon nudges him with his elbow, eyeing the item riki's holding between his fingers. a smile makes its way onto jungwon's lips as he glances up at his friend who's currently grinning from one red ear to another, rosy cheeks like pink buttons on a sweater made with love and care.
"i thought you hated ducks," - sunoo adds, sly hands reaching towards the keychain to try and pry it out of riki's hands, but instead the tall boy clutches harder onto the item, bringing it to his chest.
"well i like this one!" - he adds, furrowing his eyebrows and glaring at his nosy friend.
riki never knew he could like ducks this much.
©tyunni please don't copy, translate or repost any of my work!
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sans-enjoyer · 4 months ago
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Inanimate Insanity Episode 16 Spoilers!!!!
its been like, two days since episode 16, and people are already arguing about Mephone's age. He is a child, and this didnt come out of nowhere guys, he's always BEEN a child:
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^post from 2018!! 5 YEARS ago!
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^Brian reposting art (amazing art btw<3) where Mephone is described as a CHILD and drawing in a childish way.
^Brian saying that Mephone is so young he doesn't even know how to SPELL.
Now; heres some stuff ive been hearing in argument against him being a child.
"Cobs is infantilizing him." I agree with this to a certain extent, he is acting like Mephone is a child who cant comprehend anything like an abusive parent. but thats where it stops. Children can ALSO be infantlized! But aside from that, Cobs even says; "I forgot how young you are!" Parents don't say that to their adult children, because it makes no sense unless Mephone is a child.
Secondly, why would Brian and Justin be doing the same thing? They say he's young!
"He has an adult voice." Robots don't hit puberty! This means nothing. Unless youre saying that the creators implied hes an adult because hes voiced by an adult, well i'll have to refer you to the images above.
"He hosts an entire show." Arguably not very well, also again, he's a robot, and also, theyre on an island! its not like you need a permit to film on a random island in god knows where. Any child can "host" a show if they have enough determination, general knowledge of how they work, and equipment, and would you know it Mephone has all three! He knows how they work because he watched them in meeple, and he can generate any equipment he needs.
"He's a robot, he doesn't have an age." True..? sort of...? But the thing is, being legally defined as a child is based off your mental capacity. Children arent as mentally/emotionally intelligent as grown adults, because they don't have the life experience nor the capacity to be. Mephone barely has ANY life experience, he grew up in Meeple, and then started the show immediately after leaving. And obviously, in Inanimate Insanity (and all object shows), robots are almost always sentient beings, unlike real life.
"He's much more mature than a child, especially one that couldn't spell." Debatable! First of all, he thinks things like 'going to jail for one day' and 'the calm down corner' are terrible punishments, like children. If you tell a child to go sit on the stairs for 5 minutes and frame it as a punishment, they will take it as serious as anything else. Secondly, he literally decided to make a random species of bat.. things? fight to the death because they ate his four month old ice cream. No mature person would do that... Thirdly, abused children ACT more mature than others because they HAVE to be. Abused children are not ALLOWED to act like children. They have to be mature for themselves because who else is going to be? Who else is going to take care of you when your parent doesn't? But that doesn't mean they arent still a child.
So now we tread into questionable territory. Is it okay to deny the idea that he is a child at all costs, just so you can ship him or sexualize him? There is really no other reason why you would deny that he is a child.
Now obviously; lets not harass anyone who has drawn ship art of him or sexualized him in the past. This stuff was not commonly known, most people thought he was an adult. But if you look deeper, he isn't.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk, if anyone reads this far ( ̄^ ̄)ゞI know I usually only post art, but this is an important topic to me as i am very hyperfixated on Mephone4 i swear i can't control it guys!!
Feel free to make any counter points, im open to discussion, but i am also very set on this opinion. Have a good day everyone!!☆
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infamous-if · 1 year ago
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Spicy Snippet #1: Orion
As a thank you for 6k, I will write a variation of romantic/suggestive stuff for the ROs. I don't usually write in those contexts because I like sticking to canon in order not to spoil it when the the time comes in-story, but I think we are overdue for some! Starting with Orion!
"This is inappropriate."
Even though the words are said through a throaty hum you can feel against your lips, you don't stop nipping at Orion's throat. He sits with one arm propped, the other on your back as you straddle him on the edge of the bed. Orion, with all of his complaints, is hilariously compliant. He moves his head to give you more space for his neck, shuddering when your biting turns to salacious swipes of your tongue.
"Should I stop?" you ask through your kisses, your words muffled. The question has Orion's arm gliding over you to hold you tighter, the answer loud and clear.
"Are you trying to give me a hickey?" he asks. His voice trails off when you lick just the right spot, making a small squeak of a whimper leave his lips. You've learned that Orion is a vocal participant, his breathy reactions only encouraging you further. "You know..." His throat bobs when he swallows. "Cameras." He can't even form a coherent sentence, which is the most satisfying part. "I will be on my best behavior."
"I doubt that—" In one swift move, Orion grabs you and rolls you over until he's hovering over you. You're breathless from both surprise and excitement. He has you pinned with his hands on either side of your face, and his cheeks are flushed.
"Can you imagine?" He says, leaning down to brush his lips against yours, featherlight. It makes your body shudder. "Us doing this in a room of executives?" He brushes his nose against yours with endless delicacy, teasing you. So close and yet not quite there. "Forced to watch?" His mouth goes to the hollow of your throat, his teeth grazing your skin until you're swallowing. "Think of the scandal."
Another thing about Orion Quinn? He's a cheeky bastard.
You can hardly breathe, especially not when Orion sits up, towering over you as he begins unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes stay on you, his fingers deft and skilled, your gazes never breaking.
"You—" You swallow, propping yourself up on your elbows. "You would faint if that were to happen."
A low laugh escapes him, but his gaze turns hungry, heated at the thought. Almost as if fainting isn't what he would do at all. "You're right. HR would have me ruined."
"You are HR!" You lift your hand to put it on the last button that remains, fully intending to unbutton it for him. Orion puts his own hand over yours, directing it over the buckle of his belt. Your mouth waters. You know exactly what he wants, and he's not shy about telling you. "Knowing you," you swallow, using two fingers to remove the loop of the belt from the buckle, "you would punish yourself." "Saying that in this context is quite suggestive." He grins, taking the belt off and tossing it aside. Your fingers get to work on the button of his slacks.
"I'm being completely serious." You bite your lip, your body heating when he grabs your hand and plants a chaste, loving kiss to the inside of your palm, removing his pants with his other hand. "Get your mind out of the gutter, horndog."
"Sorry," he says, not sounding sorry at all.
He proceeds to bend down, nuzzling his nose into your neck until you're letting out a surprised laugh, failing to swat him away when he continues to tickle you. Eventually, he stops. And then Orion Quinn begins doing something else that has you forgetting exactly what you two were even talking about. Doesn't matter.
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