#i don't usually do turn stuff but
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Made a full compilation with every scene. Timestamps below 😘
00:00 (1x03) Whomst? 00:15 (1x03) One who loves the Stars 02:34 (1x04) Just a Petty Lord Actually™ 02:49 (1x04) White leaves 04:06 (1x05) Tactics/Faith 05:21 (1x05) [majestic parade music, Bear McCreary you're a blessing] 05:53 (1x06) Ship's cabin 06:16 (1x07) THE QUEEN!!!! 06:36 (1x07) "I see." "Do you?" 08:33 (1x07) Cliffside chat 10:21 (1x08) "I have you." 14:30 (2x03) Mourning 16:33 (2x03) Coronation 19:04 (2x05) Night discussion in Miriel's quarters 21:27 (2x06) "What of my heart? 🥺" 23:11 (2x06) The parts of the trial where they're behaving like THAT in front of everyone's salad 25:49 (2x08) "My place is here" Then where is mine if not with you?", AKA Narsil 27:37 (2x08) In the ending montage
#trop#mirendil#Elendil#the rings of power#Miriel#I had this ready the day of the premiere but I had to keep recutting and trimming it to not infringe anything#(and didn't want to step on toes) and it takes ages because the video takes like an hour to reupload but YAY! IT LET ME!#only thing not present is Elendil refusing to declare Pharazon the rightful king I had to cut it but it's on official channels anyway#🥺🥺 enjoy fellow Mirendil enjoyers I wanted to compile everything we've got a long wait until season 3#I don't usually do shippy stuff but the slow burn chivalric/courtly/knight and lady/devotion tropes + a mature subtle romance got me lol#editing the coronation was the worst part of this but it turned into a compilation of Elendil reacting to Miriel doing stuff lol#ALSO I captioned the eagle lol it's at 19:02#tar miriel#rop#miriel x elendil#elendil x miriel#Queen Miriel#rings of power#lotr trop#lloyd owen#cynthia addai robinson#trop 2x08#trop season 2#trop spoilers#I guess? it's only been like 2 weeks I want to be safe#Youtube#video
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a lot of people, when they start learning how to sew, will see instructions about pressing carefully and staystitching and basting and grainline and machine tension and such, and will go "ehh, I can ignore that and save some time" and then later they'll go "why do my seams look so bad? :(" and. well.. that's why.
#and that was me to some degree for a good long while#mainly with basting. god I hated basting for so so long#but now it's my beloved way to the nicest neatest flat felled seams. basting is good!#I also stubbornly refused to learn to use a thimble until I was forced to for work#and it turns out thimbles are great!#sewing#I never skimped out on ironing at least! you NEED to press your seams dammit!#I also don't usually do staytstitching because it's not necessary on my 18th century tailored & square cut things#but for stuff like rayon summer nightgowns with curved necklines and armholes? IMPERATIVE!
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happy bisexual day to those who celebrate
#dragalia lost#dragalia#orion#orion dragalia#I don't usually cross reference JP translations for Dragalia stuff but I was curious if some of the Really Gay Lines in English were#the same in the original text. Turns out some of them weren't#which just makes the localization funnier#Like. Grain of salt because I don't speak Japanese and rely on machine translations and friends who speak the language#But the really sus “receiving end” line was originally just. “Haha it'd be nice to be the one getting escorted for once :)”#I'm sure it's not an entirely indulgent translation but. Phrasing!!!#then there's the infamous(?) “I seek to have a relationship with everyone here!” where in JP it's clearer that by “everyone”#Orion means “every woman” and not literally “everyone”#bc JP Elly says “In your case won't just any woman do?” while in EN she just calls him shameless LOL#there's a few more#like the scene where Orion says “You're the first man I've ever wanted to protect” and Euden says “damn bro I thought you weren't gay?”#and he responds calmly like “You really are slow when it comes to these matters! I'm just saying you're more charming than you know.”#it's a letdown but it's kinda coy#meanwhile since JP has some extra animations#namely Orion jumping in shock and making a cringing face before responding#the No Homo vibe is off the charts 😭😭😭#and then theres that xmas seasonal line that's about picking up women ...when voices are set to JP.#The EN line is about being broke. For some reason.#But even with all that it's not like there's no gay subtext in JP Orion's dialogue. It's just deeply funny how the EN localizers went#Yup. This one. Bisexual. We gotta make it more obvious.
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book reader i have a copy of dream of the red chamber (volume 1) that ive been trying to get through for over a year how do i motivate myself to finish it
I'm recently coming out of a half a year ish period of not reading very much so trust me when I say the lack of motivation comes for us all. I think I have some tips for how to motivate reading in general+ some for DOTRC specifically :)
(Real quick, I assume because you mentioned a volume 1 you're talking about the Hawkes-David translation published by Penguin in five volumes under the name 'The Story of The Stone'. This is the translation I read through, and it's the one I see recommended most to english speakers looking for an enjoyable reading experience, so to any other prospective readers of this novel I HIGHLY recommend reading this translation as opposed to any other ones. I don't know if I need to say this or if it's well-known to seek out that version, but because Hong Lu's canto is coming up I want to make sure anyone interested in reading through the source material can have the best experience possible with it👍)
It's important to remember that reading is a hobby, and the best way to keep going with it is to make it a habit. Unfortunately, this means forcing yourself to read sometimes, but it comes easier the more you do it. The trick is: it doesn't have to be a lot of reading.
The hard part for me is really just picking up the book and starting to read. Normally with books I like to set a goal of a chapter or so per day, but because this book has longer chapters that wasn't always feasible for me, especially if I had stuff to do. But once I had the book in my hands and started reading I would usually go above my goal I had set :)
Last year a lot of my DOTRC reading was done while I was waiting in line for things, getting/eating food, waiting on the bus, or killing time between classes/during boring lectures (I don't know if I'd advise that last one). This is moreso once you get in the rhythm of things, though.
Another tip is sometimes the format is the thing to stop me. I don't know if you're reading from a physical book or an ipad/kindle/etc or a computer or what, but sometimes I read better on my laptop than other things because it's Always Around. Sometimes I don't feel like grabbing a book or I don't have it with me, but my laptop's already open and I'm bored so maybe I'll do a little bit of reading instead of scrolling social medias. Lately, i've been jumping between my laptop and kindle for reading (laptop for convenience, kindle for portability and reading before bed at night) but I've gone between physical books and digital devices before. (If you want the epub versions of dotrc, I'd be willing to share them as well. The only difficulty is page numbers change between reading formats so I can only really switch at the start of chapters or if I skim to where I last was.
Something that saved me while reading DOTRC specifically (as well as other sinner books) was having a place I could discuss/"liveblog" the book. These books can get LONG and the reading experience varies from "really interesting and compelling" to "oh my godddd I do not need 20 pages of Outdated Whale Facts right now". (no offense to Moby Dick. I'm only slandering that one because I read the whole thing and in spite of enjoying it I understand why there are SO many abridged versions around.) It's kind of just the classic lit experience to deal with these types of things, but it's a lot more tolerable to me if you can talk to other people about it.
When I read DOTRC I didn't have anyone else reading with me, but just having a place to tell people about all the things that happen in this book helped me to keep track of events and characters. It also motivated me to keep reading so I could tell The People what happened next. Having someone else read with me would probably have helped as well, but it's hard to sell people on reading a 5-volume behemoth of a novel with so much stuff in it it has it's own field of study dedicated to it.
You can really yap anywhere. I have a channel in my Limbus Discord dedicated to the books so I don't drive everyone insane with my rambling and it seems to have helped some of my friends get through some of the other books as well so I think this method is a pretty solid success? You could also pretty easily do it just in someone's DMs if they're already familiar with the book (this has the bonus of them potentially being able to clarify things for you and help you get a deeper understanding of the book) or even yapping on a tumblr sideblog or empty notes doc or something.
So TL;DR:
Picking up the book is the hardest part. Reading a little is better than not reading at all.
Subjecting your friends to this book will make it easier to keep going :)
Also: for Dream of the Red Chamber specifically: the book starts slow. I don't know how far in you are, but so many people drop it early. I started reading it during a 12-ish hour car ride and that might've been the play because i can see people getting bored during the first few chapters. It definitely picks up though, so trust me when I say it gets a lot easier to read as you keep going. Chapter 5 is an incredibly interesting chapter, and from there I find things pick up and start going faster. (It helps that chapter 5 is pretty relevant for the direction I think Limbus is going to take canto 8 in!) The later volumes were able to go by a lot faster for me than the earlier ones as well.
This is a long ass book, but it's gonna be a while before Hong Lu's canto drops and we get to Witness that Surrender. Or Surrender that Witness. I'm not actually sure. But regardless, you've got plenty of time to get through it, even if you're a slower reader or don't have much time to dedicate to reading. Steady progress is the name of the game for stuff like this.
Worst case, you've killed a bunch of time during the wait for Hong Lu's canto (because oh boy, I have a feeling this one's gonna be a wait) and you are able to gain a better appreciation for canto 8 by understanding some of the nicher bits of how it adapts stuff from the source.
Best case, you really enjoy reading it and end up like a bunch of the Hong Lu fans I know who were permanently changed by reading this book and started reading scholarly analysis of it for fun (or start seeking out every adaptation of it you can find, or read the book 5 times over... I am coming to realize this book does something to people.)
This book is legitimately incredibly good, even outside the context of me reading it because I was very invested in that beautiful cyan freak from a game I like. I might not have been able to get through it without Limbus providing me the push to keep going on days where I really didn't want to read, but it's a legitimate interest of mine now I will seek out information on regardless of its connection to Limbus! Trust me when I say it's worth getting through even if it feels hard or tedious.
(and if it helps- a solid amount of the stuff I feel is most likely to be Limbus relevant happens near the end of the book. There's so much in this book so things that could be relevant are scattered throughout almost all of it, but I've been picking up so many end of the book vibes from stuff we've seen lately. so you've got to get there!!)
#pachiposting#asks#citysootyowl#i don't know how to tag this one actually?#because it's not really about limbus#it is important though. i did like writing this answer :)#even if i have. checks notes. Several finals projects I have to work on#Shilling 18th century chinese classic novels is more important.#thank you for the ask. i yapped more than I thought#but like. i kinda just do that here every time i go to answer an ask#i have an old one from before c7 part 3 i still havent gotten around to yet just because the gears were not turning at the correct rate#i promise if thats you ive seen it. i have some stuff typed#i dont know when you'll see it though. i have a lot going on and half my brainpower right now is dedicated to spinning a png of hong lu#anyway byebyeee i hope this can help you!!#this book seems hard to get through but the style isn't hard to read because the translation's relatively recent#and it's long but a lot of the time I find it goes quick because interesting things are usually happening#you've got plany of time! its moreso abt building a habit than anything else
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A little style experiment for the summer, featuring Himeka and Usami by @tomohirosibuyahappyanimals 🌞
🐑🍉🐇
#robot art#digital art#fan art#tomohirosibuyahappyanimals#himeka#usami#style experiment#colored pencil#i don't usually do stuff like this but it was fun and i like how it turned out!
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my grandma gave me €50 so i thought hey ima treat myself. opened my fave goth online shop and saw that they use ai instead of models now
then i browsed 8 different online shops and they all sucked to varying degrees. like killstar was the best one they even have one (1) thing i'd consider buying (lace gloves) but everything else is just..... if i wanted bad quality items i'd go on shein and at least the price would bu appropriate
#anyway i think what im gonna do is im gonna go to secondhand stores and try to find the perfect jumper.#ideally a jacket but i can turn a pullover into a jacket at home its not that difficult#and then im gonna paint a skeleton on it and its gonna be awesome#the hardest part is finding a black jumper that's good enough for me. i want some real high quality thick fabric#that gives a nice shape and such#longterm project ig#idek what to use the €50 for now. i wanna treat myself to something special i don't usually get but#sometimes there's a reason why i don't buy now clothes ig!!!#my stuff
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nightwatch 2 was a great episode! and it really built on all the good stuff that came from nightwatch 1: a look at the teams' personal lives, a killer fight scene, and good emotional storytelling. it's definitely meant to be a happier episode, though, and it does it well by showing positive progression for the characters (kai finally opening up to someone, chase helping ernie learn to stay still and being a friend) and in particular, lucy and of course kacy. as lucy sums up in the beginning of the episode, nightwatch 2 celebrates kacy's awesomeness as a couple (and as individuals) and how far they've come.
nightwatch 2 is filled with a lot of great parallels that help the episode come together as a fitting full circle moment:
lucy being called in during a date and being forced to go fetch whistler because she's the only one who knows whistler's routine vs. whistler already being there because she knows lucy's routine and taking care of lucy's a big part of whistler's routine now, and she immediately jumps to help lucy. whistler being asked to help in s1 on her off day because they needed her vs. whistler not being needed but staying on her off day anyway because she wants to be there to support the team and lucy
whistler outright asking about the cupcake and the anniversary message (in our fridge! bc they live together!), the open dialogue between them this episode compared to s1 nightwatch when they were walking on eggshells around each other because of confusing relationship status (are we friends or just exes) and things left unsaid (whistler's promotion and lucy's loved confession)
kate and lucy finishing each other's jokes, proudly showing off their chemistry in front of ernie, kate openly showing her worry and outrage in front of tennant when she could barely acknowledge lucy in front of their colleagues before (whistler even going as far as basically telling tennant she didn't agree with the decision to leave lucy alone with joe and keep hpd out of it).
their strong chemistry and banter is still there in 1x20, but it dies a quick death when the conversation, naturally, gets more personal and crashes into the gigantic wall erected between them after the breakup. throughout s2 (and especially in 2x19 and 2x20), it's allowed to flourish and develop, it's so apparent and obvious it ends up constantly on the receiving end of Ernie's teasing comments ('heart-eyes' and 'so now you're a comedy team')
lucy getting to show off how she's matured and grown since her time afloat, properly reading the situation with joe, talking him down, not panicking even with a gun trained on her and him getting violent with her, and handling the situation almost singlehandedly
kate showing her growth and experience as an agent, coming in with the timely rescue to save both lucy and joe (taking out the guy who hurt/tried to kill lucy ala lucy taking out andrea medina, whistler being able to prevent Lucy from looking like the bloody mess she was in 1x20)
1x20 parallel with the tables turning on lucy, she's the one getting scolded this time for going off on her own, whistler's the one getting upset at her for almost getting killed and fussing over lucy using the compress (an elbow to the face eliciting the same frustrated reaction as blood, head trauma, and a cracked rib makes me feel something). funny enough, both times their arguing is interrupted by their bosses arriving. while lucy talks up kate to curtis even tho she's mad at her, kate doesn't even attempt to hide her offense from tennant at lucy waltzing back into danger and leaving her ice pack. (also Whistler being so annoyed and concerned for lucy's safety she gets involved as backup on a case she and fbi have absolutely no role in Lol)
whistler hugging a crying lucy at the crime scene in front of their colleagues, whistler in nightwatch 1 having to stand there helplessly, watching lucy cry because lucy doesn't want her to talk or come closer, while whistler in nightwatch 2 is allowed to do exactly that to comfort lucy after her emotionally grueling day.
in 1x20, they end the episode separated with lucy walking away while 2x20 ends with lucy moving closer to kate at the crime scene and at the bar
kate spends the latter half of s1 chasing after lucy, trying to win her back. kate can't go after lucy at the end of 1x20 because of injury and lucy telling her not to say anymore, obviously asking for space and distance so kate's left there alone. after they finally talk in a roundabout interrogation (lol) in 1x21, they're friends again, and they're supposed to move on, kate finally stops chasing.
then we get to 2x20 and kate spends the episode trailing after lucy (she's still going): she heads to pearl to see lucy on nightwatch, goes after lucy after she walks out of the conference room to make sure she has backup, goes after lucy when she's in trouble on the boat, and walks up behind her after joe leaves. lucy handles a lot of the case on her own, but kate is always right around the corner in case she needs her.
lucy being on unsteady footing all of nightwatch 1 because she just came from a date and is now suddenly thrust into a case with her ex, had to see her looking hot at the beach, had to see the aftermath of said ex getting beaten up by a trained assassin knowing how close she was to dying, had to hear about a promotion her ex turned down to stay close to her and throwing everything she knew and assumed about their relationship for a loop, had to somehow pull herself together after finding out her ex did in fact care and was serious about them and still broke her heart anyway. lucy is hit with nonstop emotional blow after emotional blow and can't trust her feelings or her judgement. being around whistler just makes it worse so she puts some distance between them, moving back when she steps closer, leaving when she tries to talk.
lucy in nightwatch 2 is steady and sure the entire episode. she starts the case off in 1x20 rattled, but she starts off 2x20 happy and excited, she's in a good stable relationship that leaves no room for doubts, is able to trust her feelings and intuition about joe, is able to appeal emotionally to him and when she finally does let herself cry at the end, she can lean on whistler, wants nothing more than to be around whistler. whistler's a steady pillar for her in nw2 vs. the unsteady, emotional minefield she was in nw1
both cases in 1x20 and 2x20 leave lucy feeling terrible for different reasons. in the former, kate is the cause, the lingering pain from the breakup + seeing kate hurt + finding out about the promotion are a deadly mix for lucy. in the latter, kate isn't the problem, she's the support. she's there physically and emotionally for lucy, doesn't hesitate to tell her she was right and how proud she is of her while in 1x20 its more implied when she mentions medina's takedown, like kate is afraid she might say too much, push too far. the ending of 1x20 leaves both lucy and kate emotionally devastated, lucy finally letting all her emotions out and then steeling herself to go on a date to try to move on and forcing herself to have fun. at the end of 2x20, she goes on a date with whistler, nothing's forced (except whistler wanting them to diligently follow the script LMAO) lets herself be silly and do things like steal whistlers fries, breaking character, both of them laughing at themselves, being free and easy and comfortable
zero stakes because we're two strangers in a bar and youre only here visiting from dc so this'll be a fun hookup vs. zero stakes because this literally a zero stakes non-anniversary, we're just having fun on a date, reliving a moment neither of us knew would change our lives forever, in a comfortable, committed relationship we never thought we would have, sharing an intimacy we couldn't have before. zero stakes because ill never see you again vs. zero stakes because I love you and us and nothings going to change that
whistler being all touchy feely at the bar, leaning in super close and touching her hand, relaxed and comfortable vs. whistler in 1x10 still visibly trying to let her guard down even in an exclusive pop-up restaurant with almost no chance of seeing anyone from work, and still surprising lucy by reaching out across the table to hold her hand, being so hush-hush about their relationship that even something as simple as that in public was a big milestone for them. a whistler who's in love and not shy to show it vs. a whistler still trying to come to terms with everything and make the leap
whistler being hesitant about most of lucy's date ideas in s1 to now being super excited to recreate their first meeting, being on board with lucy's unconventional non-anniversary celebration, being able to let go and have fun with her unabashedly
lucy meeting whistler the first time at the bar she'd go to compartmentalize and be seen as a regular person outside of her job, whistler who was so remarkable she helped lucy forget for an entire weekend vs. lucy going back to that bar with whistler, winding down after a tough case and having someone shoulder that weight with her, someone who's ready to comfort her and stand with her (whether it's reassuring that lucy did the right thing or reassuring her that this date idea isn't silly and is actually super romantic), who also knows how to take her mind off it, whos helping her through it with love and compassion because she knows the job, understands the struggle she's going through, was there for her during the final confrontation and wants to be there for her now. lucy doesnt have to hide or swerve around her job, she can be open about it and share it with whistler, whistler who met lucy tara retail worker or lucy tara finance broker first, whistler who wanted things to be professional, but ended up falling for lucy anyway, whistler who's always seen and known lucy the person underneath it all. recreating their first meeting is a cute non-anniversary date idea, but it also helps separate them from the case and the day they've had, let's lucy be lucy from hawaii and whistler be kate from dc and lets them live in a happy moment from the past with all the perks of their present day relationship
I think Yasmine sums it up perfectly in the interview she gave about the episode: “That was fun to play in this scene especially because since it is a recreation, it’s the trying to be how we used to be and playing all of that out. But then clearly obviously we have a relationship now and just seeing the transformation from where I know Kate was to where Kate is and the fact that she even wants to do this is, I just think it’s so adorable and it’s so cute and Lucy loves that.”
how far they've come indeed
also kai trying to eat his spam musubi and lucy trying to eat her junk food and getting interrupted by a person (johnson and whistler) and then the case is the best parallel of all time
#ncis hawaii#kacy#lucy tara#kate whistler#it took me a few days but the ep finally hit me LMAO#og nightwatch is still my queen but nightwatch 2 is a very close second#nightwatch 2 electric boogaloo was so fun i owe amy my life#i was kinda neutral about the 2n3d backstory before but now youll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands#also lucy being worried that kate was upset about the non-anniversary thing turning into kate being so excited to celebrate it ill scream#I don't usually readmore these but jesus this got long I feel like i said the same thing 10 times LMAO#its funny bc nw1 kate cant do anything right and in nw2 kate checks every box perfectly#some of this isnt even parallels some of this is just me obsessing over stuff#like the whistler following lucy thing might be a stretch but come on LOL its cute#2x19 whistlers glued to lucys side 2x20 shes following behind her when is she gonna be in front of her kissing her again-
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
#N posts stuff#one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety#now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body#but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself#like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao#bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with#is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again#and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than#'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it#which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that#so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively#like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered#like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#tula#d20lb
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#like i have So Many Thoughts about this stuff rotating in my head pretty much constantly#(i tried to write the post. i did. i get stuck after a sentence or two every time i do)#the things i want to say are right there! the will to write them is right there!#it's just. this is not my language. it takes a lot of mental processing power to get Any words onto a screen#and i think i'm fairly fluent! i still get caught up in turns of phrases and spelling words and picking the right prepositions and whatnot#do you have any idea how scathingly smart i am in finnish#how good of a writer#and all of that gets muddled up by using a wrong language#all the Actual Thoughts i want to convey get buried under anxiety about word choices#usually i don't mind at all. usually the things i write here are light and short enough that it doesn't matter#with light and short things you can either choose to ignore any dumb language mistakes Or you can very quickly check them#but when you want to take a closer look at an entire culture and talk about its impact on people?#and sprinkle in some very vulnerable personal ideas too?#it's not a light and quick and easy thing to write. and constantly stopping to check things Will destroy the flow#i just. i have thoughts and no satisfactory way to share them and that sucks!!!#eughhhh#sussitalk
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If I see another goddamn LukeJamie thing where Luke is portrayed as the stoic grumpy yet caring seme prince being bothered by silly prankster uke Jamie I'm going to start committing murder and arson
When will shippers stop trying to fit characters into narrow lil cliche personality trait boxes just so it makes sense for them to be acting out these insipid little tropey scenarios, I am so close to turning into a shitty gatekeeper that complains about tourists I swear to god
#terminal talks#turning into Joseph Joestar#*shaking fist* I'll never forgive the Japanese!!#why am I seeing Luke quibbling about not wanting to hit girls when he literally says men and women fight on equal footing#why are people trying to chivalry him up when Metro City doesn't give a shit like you can beat up grannies and everyone's like cool#that's not Luke that's Lucas#and you westerners aren't off the hook either#I see y'all making Luke out to be a complete brainless himbo when he's very clearly a jock#which is a different genre of brainless#Like man#I don't usually get heated over fandom stuff cause it's not worth it like 110% of the time#live and let live#etc etc#but constantly seeing this weird not-Luke is incredibly annoying and it's ALWAYS the shippers doing it
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side effect of regularly digging in the dirt for assignment and research purposes is "why are your nails so dirty" well i don't wear gloves and even if i did the ones provided are way too big for my dainty waif hands so im putting dirt in a bag with my bare hands, chief. ive washed them three times. i still do this on the daily
#we were back inside doing stuff and prof kept thanking us for cleaning up the messes we were making like#literal dirt all over the microbio lab tables. king we are not animals you're not cleaning it urself. we r adults we got it#'my students usually don't' i think it should be part of the grade to be honest. you are one guy. this is five bags o dirt.#he usually does the digging and log turning too. WATCH THIS *me and the spindliest guy in the group flip a log*
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Honestly a lot of the time, it's not even about people having to agree with me, it's about needing to know that they actually heard and listened to what I had to say even if it didn't persuade them
Just... some basic indication that there's enough respect to give a shit about what I said, and also to make sure that they disagree because they actually disagree and not cause they just didn't bother listening
It's all I really ask
#I forgot what this was about part way through writing about it; but then I remembered it's about Ukraine#like I just need to know that you actually understand what's happening there and what people are going through#you want me to care about your thing? show me you have any any any grasp of what's going on in Ukraine#it's uh... it's too many friends where if I'm just honest... this is about them#people I adore but people where... I don't know if they ever even once listen to what I have to say#...though maybe it's better this way... at least if they just ignore me I can say they just don't understand what's going on#that they're just being fed lines by other people or don't care#...if... they... knew the shit Ukrainians go through and still didn't care... would be a lot harder to respect them#would take a certain level of callous to do that and... these are people I care about very much so#...but I don't know; eats at me... you know#...and even on less serious topics... boy I wish you'd ever listen to me#if it weren't for the fact you say you like me... I'd be pretty damn sure you can't fucking stand me and I do nothing but annoy you#...I don't know if you've... ever... listened to anything I've said on any subject#when you do; you usually correct me... even though; brilliant as you are... you're erm... not always right#I don't get it... I don't get you... every word I say seems to be wrong... I'm so stupid and you're so smart#and yet you get real upset when I want to die... so you must actually like me and our communication styles don't match up#thank god you never seem to read my tags... or... much of anything else I say#truthfully I'd follow you anywhere; and you can treat me any way you want#but man I don't think my thoughts or opinions matter to you even a little... I think I just exist to be your rubber duck#...that's how it feels anyway#but all that aside... just wish you'd listen to me on Ukraine cause it actually matters#this post started out about some other people too... and sure... I like them well enough; and they're maddeningly wrong#like sputnik levels or wrong#drives me nuts; like you're not stupid and you're not cruel so why do you act so stupid and cruel?... turn you brain on#but uh... I actually just don't care about them that much#where as you... I could put it into words... but I won't#it's just a shame... like forget any of the stuff about me; it's just you're so kind... wish you'd care about what's going on in Ukraine#...I gotta stop or I'll go on all night; and I'm already too tired#mm tag so i can find things later
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i bet you think about me is so regulily fr
#like.. specifically thinking about a famous singer!lily au where her and regulus used to date#but he broke up with her as she got more popular as his family found out about it and he was too scared about getting disowned and stuff#so he listened to his parents and broke up with her and mentally tried to make himself distanced so he would actually be able to do it#and then lily writes the song about him#i mean tbh it also works with just. usual them. like them dating in school but his parents make him bw a deatheater#so he breaks up with her before even telling her about it because he knows she'd break up with him as soon as he does#like. “you grew up in a silver spoon gated community.. i was raised on a farm. no it wasn't a mansion.”#“reality crept it. you said we're too different”#“i don't have to be a shrink to know you'll never be happy. and i bet you think about me.”#“oh block it all out. the voices so loud saying why did you let her go?”#“chasing make believe status. last time you felt free was when none of that shit mattered cause you were with me.”#“it turns out im harder to forget than i was to leave. yeah i bet you think about me.”#SO THEM FR FR#I PROMISE YOU ALL!!!#marauders era#marauders#regulily#lily evans#regulus black
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hm hm hm !!
#just me hi#it's always the little things ghfhshvh#i wanna a thing and#/hang on lemme put on some tunes lol#thank goodness for osts.. anyway hfhs#//there is consistently some tiny thing that i get caught up in that makes stops me from doing something altogether#like for example when i want to work on one of my main projects i'll get pretty well into it and then suddenly drop it like it's on fire#halfway through gfsvh#because i couldn't get the line right or i forgot which font i used or the characters positions just bother me but i'm 8 panels into this#scene dang it ! !#or i get a fresher idea for the whole thing and don't get around to it for months because i need to recharge after u-turn like that. can yo#tell i'm going in circles hfhshv#i really do have around 15-20+ versions of the first chapter of pi.e.. it may almost be described as 'not a good thing' hghhfhsvh#Is it perfectionism? maybeeeeee loll - i've got a vision (and another and another and another) and very short patience#and also my ideas do Not have a good shelf life lmao ; they're like badly sealed pickled fruits <3#that's part of the reason i make stuff so fast tho. because the Ideas Are Running Away From Me ljfvsfhj#i have hardly any stand-alone pieces that are unfinished. but the Moment i tryta work on a longform thing it just does not work..#and i Could try to do everything in very small pieces but when i try to go small on purpose i usually end up doing my usual 7-9 step 1-4#hour process anyway and i not even catch it until it's too late fgshfbvh#yea though. i'm back at it again lmfshv :3👍#this may suck So hard but i'm gonna get it one of these days ! ! roman 3 roman 3#so let me try to stay on track again lol :> i will maybe return.. mayhaps hfhsv#//i've still got some stuff from during and before artfight (unrelated to it) that i still wanna post so maybe i'll do that later too lol :#toooooodles ~+~!~+~
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uh oh i think my laptop's officially dead
#i really hope not. but. the keyboard stopped working suddenly 😭#idk maybe i turned smth off accidentally?? idk if that's even possible#I'm trying to restart it now but it's going. very slowly. which is also worrying#even holding the off button isn't doing anything. shit#it was so sudden too??? it was actually still working like i could use the mouse and it was playing music#this is so weird I'm so scared 😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's like 5 years old man don't do this to me 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐#update: well it's not turning off so i took the charger out and hope it dies from a lack of battery power soon#and then I'll plug it back in and see if it helps 😔#i THINK it happened before?? like that it didn't turn off and i had to wait for the battery to drain first#I'm so worried i really hope it doesn't die 😔 it'll break me mentally i fear.#(yes it's an object but like. i need it man. and it has a lot of my stuff there. and a lot of distractions from the fact I'm alive)#bro why is this taking so long#usually when i use my laptop and it's not actively being charged it dies within 5 minutes#it's been over 10 now and it's still going?? now?? when i actually WANT it to die??#:/ think I'm gonna leave it alone for now hhhhh whatever. I'm very anxious but there's not much i can do besides waiting anyway
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might make a tag for all the fucking insane sponsored ads I see on tumblr. totally speechless
#genuinely can't think of a simple tag name though idk.#absurd ads? maybe#usually i don't see ads because i have them... uh... 'turned off'...#but when i do take a glimpse it's always stuff like this. is it just me? idk#absurd ads
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