#i don't think soulmate is completely apt

[ch3rry-v0dka]

Kind of stupid how much hard work goes into having a soulmate alas

[tanukitsuneko-suki]

ex-aid episode 34 thoughts:

- EMU HASN'T SMILED FOR MONTHS OH GOD . IM TAKING HIM AWAY. WIFE WAIT FOR ME . JAPAN NOT TOO FAR FROM HERE

- also emu's actor does amazing bitch faces i love him so much

- girl i said i wanted a villain arc but not like this...not like this.....

- he's SERIOUS????? GET OUTTA HERE OMFGGGGG

- deleting hiiro from top 3 i really should've just drawn taiga instead. this is what i get for trying to take it slow

- ...ugh whatever i still like you hiiro

- it's not even an angsty delicious betrayal i'm just here thinking "what the fuck are you doing"

- IJBOL WHY IS HE HERE

- SORRY I DONT THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO LAUGH BUT IT'S KILLING ME. PARAD. DUDE. PARAD. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HEREEEEEEE

- guy pausing his existential crisis because babe is fighting with the girlies and he wants to support him

- i'm dead on the floor YOU WERE JUST CRUMPLING UP IN FEAR EARLIER??? ex-aid's humor remains at peak. bro really thinks he's part of the team

- i like that. they're just vibing. why is he all peppy all of a sudden. man who knows

- hiiemu break up arc. please end my suffering

- somehow i don't think he is. hiiro's the smartest out of all of them idt he'd be this shallow. it's just too obvious that it feels off

- nvm maybe this is genuine

- i can't fucking guess lmao

- i'm inclined to believe that hiiro's purpose is something else because that's what would have most narrative impact. if his betrayal is discovered by the ministry, he would be "stripped of his kr qualifications, and removed from the cr. they might even revoke [his] medical license" and the option that would align most with how hiiro's definition of a doctor shifted into one that cares for his patients regardless of circumstances (which he got from emu), it would only be apt for his characterization if it's revealed that he's planning a more definitive way to end kronos. it would be really good

- i'm choosing to believe he's faking it. so now i'm just muttering "aww hiiro" as he says shit he doesn't mean towards his friends

- actually ignore what i just said. i'm not trusting men anymore

- i can't even hate him because he looks so vulnerable. i guess i understand why he did things this way

- he started fucking crying I'M SORRY FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU BABY IT'S OKAY YOU CAN BETRAY US ALL YOU WANT IT'S FINE😭😭

- BABY

- i'm rethinking about it and i can't believe i called myself his fan while completely ignoring all his deeply seated guilt and self-blame. i... oh hiiro...

- i understand now. i really misunderstood you a bunch of times before

- i was just thinking "oh i kinda get paragraph now" because of that convo between them but why did parad shake his head a little after graphite just stabbed the virus in himself it's so funny. HE'S DOING IT FOR YOU?!?!

- *scratches head* boy that's your friend you can maybe stop smiling for 5 seconds as he burns in agony

- "i hold memories of his girlfriend" he mentioned this thrice now he must be so proud

- oh my god

- it's like 2am and parad is staring like that at emu i can't handle this rn

- dan kuroto's story really is inspirational because no matter how much you hated his ass he proves that you can make a comeback if you hold your head high and never gave any fucks in the first place

- why are you, as a man, hoping that another man would hate you forever in atonement for having killed his girlfriend

- he's so good at crying on the spot bro

- i believe hiiro's betrayal is genuine now but i'm also vibing with it because i love his emotions being pushed to the extreme

- KIRIYA?? THAT'S KIRIYA RIGHT?????? WE ARE SO BACK

- ENOUGHHHHHHH BRING BACK THE HAPPY DAYS I'M SICK OF THEM FIGHTINGGGGG

- i wasn't able to note it down but i did spy that emu started adopting hiiro's catchphrase a while back. i should've screenshotted. fuck. hiiro saying "i want to see saki smile" and emu saying "i'll excise you" OUGH

- if only parad didn't exist i would have called them soulmates

- k...kiriya?

- i don't even blame emu. if my teammates ditched me at the critical moment i'd go over the bugster's side too

- i feel like emu (too jaded for ex-aid)

- mootie how is this your favorite arc.....

- hiiro AND kiriya on masamune's side?? bro do you want emu to khs damn!!

- GUYS DON'T LOOK AT THE MIDDLE THERE'S AN UGLY BITCH STANDING NEXT TO YALL!!!!!

[bookishjules]

A Blackstairs Lens on "Don't Blame Me" by Taylor Swift

Don't blame me, love made me crazy

this is a theme we're gonna see a lot through this song (obviously, since this is a repeating line lol), and which I think is so apt for Emma and Julian. Love DID make them crazy in a way, since it was tainted? exaggerated? both? by their parabatai bond, and it was never something they intended. They can't be blamed for falling in love and thereby amplifying the powers of the parabatai bond and turning into literal angels. Also Julian's room full of paintings of Emma ALONE

If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right

not only does this feel like a realization Emma had when comparing Julian to Cameron, but it also feels like something Emma and Jules came to terms with after denying their feelings for each other to such great extents

Lord, save me, my drug is my baby

I'll be usin' for the rest of my life

the fact that the more time these two spend together, the curse thing got worse.. also I don't think there is another ship in tsc that's as addicted to eachother (physically or otherwise) as these two, which could in itself be an influence of the parabatai curse that lingers

I've been breakin' hearts a long time, and

the hearts they're breaking are each other's and their own. We see this in the decisions they make: deciding to become parabatai even though romantic feelings had already begun to blossom, choosing to date Mark, choosing to have Magnus take away your emotions.

Toyin' with them older guys

Just playthings for me to use

not only does this continue the relevance to Emma pretending to be with Mark, but I think it could also relate to how Julian is constantly playing with the big leagues. He's fooling everyone and using carefully placed moves and deceit to ensure that things come out the way he wants, that his family is safe.

Something happened for the first time,

In the darkest little paradise

Shakin, pacin', I just need you

This is Lady Midnight in summation--Emma realizing her feelings for Jules, their first time in the cave--and then later, the anxiety and mess of emotions that came with the discovery of the true consequences of falling in love as parabatai

For you, I would cross the line

the line between best friends and parabatai? between parabatai and lovers? the line that says don't date the brother of the guy you just had sex with? the line of having your emotions stripped by magic? or perhaps simply the proverbial line between morally right and wrong? let's face it these two would do anything for each other (especially Jules).

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

I think its a big thing for Julian to waste time. He's responsible for so much, and yet he will waste his time for Emma, he'll let himself get caught up in whatever she wants. I don't think I need to reiterate about how they pretty much did lose their minds for eachother lol

My name is whatever you decide

it's the way Emma didn't feel like she could call Julian Jules anymore after they slept together

And I'm just gonna call you mine

because really is there any better word when you don't know where one facet of your relationship stops and the other begins? Plus, back when trying to hide that they were together together.. well saying you're eachother's soulmate could be interpretated as completely platonic when you have a parabatai

I'm insane, but I'm your baby (your baby)

Echoes of your name inside my mind

Halo, hiding my obsession

When the most Julian had of Emma was the way he could say her name in his mind, how he couldn't fill it with all the love that had been bound to it for years.. And the way he literally hid his obsession behind closed doors

I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy

They really were poison ivy to eachother, a growing obsession, dangerous to touch but crawling closer and closer all the time. Also I just love imagining Emma as a daisy (funny that she's related to Daisy to hehe). I think @lifeofbrybooks put it so well, how Emma is like a wildflower to Jules: "beautiful and strong, able to grow and flourish in even the harshest conditions"

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

them every time they give in to their feelings for each other while parabatai

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

This makes me so sad to think about, especially considering we've seen insecurities along these lines rear their head even after they've been together for a while

I get so high, oh

Every time, yeah every time you're lovin' me

You're lovin' me

Trip of my life, oh

Every time, yeah every time you're touchin' me

You're touchin' me

these horny bitches