#i don't think scott even intends to link them in any way

[juxtafruition]

some of u guys just really want (movie) mike schmidt to be an afton huh

[maverick-werewolf]

Daily Werewolf Thoughts - Days 1-9

I've been writing some daily werewolf thoughts in various places, and now, at last, here's a collection of them for Werewolf Wednesday! I'll be posting collections on my Patreon and Tumblr, since I don't want to spam those every day for such short posts. Here's the first set from days one through nine.

The formatting on these isn't the prettiest, but it'll do! They're not big blog posts, just thoughts for fun and stuff.

Day 1- I'm obligated to open with the undeniable importance of The Wolf Man (1941). Werewolves never had a definitive book that shaped the popular perception of werewolves. The Wolf Man, although a film, is to werewolves what Bram Stoker's Dracula is to vampires. When you think of "a werewolf," it was influenced at least in some way by The Wolf Man.

Influenced by folklore but taking elements from various sources (not just werewolf legends), Curt Siodmak created the werewolf that currently lives in our perceptions as THE werewolf. The Halloween werewolf, the classic horror werewolf... and still the coolest kind of werewolf.

Great film, by the way. You should watch it. It's free on the Internet Archive, so you have no excuse. It's still one of the best werewolf stories ever told. Classic. There's a reason everyone ripped off the formula.

Also, there's a Werewolf Fact for this: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-fact-68-the-importance-of-the-wolf-man-1941/

Day 2- There's great variety in werewolf designs out there, but I've noticed the most classic werewolf look has a body hair pattern and lacks fur on the face. Everything from Halloween masks to films to cutesy plush use this as the most immediately recognizable werewolf look, no doubt inspired by classic wolf-men like Werewolf of London (1935), The Wolf Man (1941), and Curse of the Werewolf (1961).

I went through a phase of being adamant about preferring werewolf completely covered in fur, but I realized that, even when I was a contrarian child and then teenager, my favorites never actually looked like that. Then again, I like an insane variety, to be honest, so I'm not that picky... as long as it looks like both a human and a wolf instead of neither of those things or something completely different.

Day 3- Something many modern werewolves lack, or did for a while (I think the phase is ending, puns intended), was the howl. A wolf howl is a unique and chilling sound that has haunted the psyche of man for time immemorial. It's an obvious element of werewolf horror and werewolves in general.

But sometime in the early 2010s or so, a lot of people decided that howls were "corny" and too expected because that was around the time anything classic/traditional became just terrible and everyone wanted to disassociate werewolves from... wolves. So werewolves started exclusively roaring or, at best, weirdly bellowing instead. This can be found in everything from Underworld (undoubtedly a huge influence on this) to Skyrim* to the MTV Teen Wolf series and many others. I'll never forget a pivotal scene in a late Teen Wolf season where Scott was told to howl and he just... roars. Wtf? Everything did this at the time.

Sidebar: The MTV Teen Wolf series absolutely shocked me when it first released. I watched it fully expecting it to be teen werewolf tripe, but Season 1 really is fantastic werewolf horror. Just do NOT watch any season beyond the first one. Everything past Season 1 is total garbage with only a few cool moments in like one of the season 4's (I forget all the numbers) and is much more what I expected from the series. Note that the linked clip is not from season 1.

*: just another reason why Morrowind: Bloodmoon is superior

Underworld: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-JtvyLvSlo&abchannel=Movieclips

Skyrim: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXwkSA2_02o&ab_channel=Servilius

Teen Wolf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWjJME4Vl3A&ab_channel=coolghighi

Day 4- Silver. The idea of a "silver bullet" has become all but ubiquitous for something's only weakness, like saying "Achilles' heel." Obviously, this originated with werewolves... and again it actually originated only with The Wolf Man (1941). Silver was never a werewolf weakness in legend.

Curt Siodmak, when dictating to the world what werewolf concepts would be like forever after, created the idea that only silver can slay a werewolf. In legend, werewolves had no particular weaknesses, unlike vampires. They could walk holy ground, holy artifacts had no effect on them, wolfsbane and belladonna did nothing in particular, some were immune to all forms of injury (except in human form) and had to be cured, silver certainly was never mentioned, and some were slain through ordinary means.

It's possible that Siodmak got the idea of silver harming werewolves from "witch-creatures," shapeshifted witches. In some tales, witches were harmed specifically by silver. This had no relation to werewolves whatsoever. Other speculate Siodmak did this because silver is related to the moon in ancient alchemy. Regardless of why he did it, werewolves being slain by silver specifically begins with The Wolf Man in 1941.

I should note that some dispute this, citing the Beast of Gevaudan legend (which in itself I don't even really consider a werewolf legend) and claiming that silver was used to slay it, as told in Henri Pourrat’s Historie fidèle de la bête en Gévaudan. But this book is not from the time period of the Beast of Gevaudan - it's a novel published in 1946, well after The Wolf Man was released and established.

Curt Siodmak is the reason we associate werewolves with "silver bullets" (although it was a silver-headed cane that slew the werewolf in the movie), so you can thank him again for his massive influence on our culture abroad and certainly our now classic conception of the werewolf.

There's also a werewolf fact for this: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/silver/

Day 5- I love etymology. My favorite word is "werewolf." Today, it's common to see people shunning the word "werewolf," thinking it corny, or else they do so in favor of shorthand or other general word butchery or kreatyvity. Before I get into that, I'm going to go over what "werewolf" actually means.

“Werewolf” comes from late Old English, a combination of “were,” meaning “man,” and of course “wolf.” Werewolves have had countless names over the centuries, but this is the one that stuck, after its first use (that we know of, at least) by the English King Cnut, who reigned 1016-1035; he used it in his Ecclesiastical Ordinances XXVI. By the way, please ignore any modern scholars who like to claim now that "werewolf" means "wolfwolf," because that is so preposterous it makes me want to cast myself into the sea with stones on my feet.

Unfortunately, a lot of people like to avoid even using the word "werewolf" as if their success depends on it. They have what is obviously a werewolf in a story, but it's very carefully never referred to as such, because then - in their minds - audiences wouldn't take it seriously. Thus, we end up with things like "lycan," a butchery of "lycanthrope" that takes the "lykos" (meaning wolf) and only the beginning of the "anthropos" (meaning man). You end up with a nothing word that sounds like something green growing on a log. Many people also use only the "were" prefix, which means "man," and thus you have things like "weretouched" (Mantouched? How does it even imply shapeshifting?) to mean a variety of beast-people*. Still others use a word they made up just so they never have to say "werewolf," like "worgen" or "blutbad/blutbaden" or even just "wolfblood/wolfbloods," among others. These may or may not be used in a world that otherwise uses normal terms; if it does use other ordinary monster names, it makes the kreatyv werewolf name all the sillier-sounding.

Anyway, "werewolf" is a great word. More people should use it. A rose by any other name...

*: I won't get into how I feel about "werecreatures" being a bunch of werewolf spinoffs, although I may end up ranting about that sometime this month.

Day 6- Werewolves and the full moon always go together. A werewolf without a full moon just doesn't have quite the same ring to it. This is, you guessed it, yet another thing you can thank Curt Siodmak for - but it actually didn't originate with The Wolf Man (1941), and it also has some basis in legend. Or, at least, I would argue it does.

Firstly, The Wolf Man (1941) actually didn't start the idea of a werewolf transforming at the full moon. In the original film, we have this werewolf rhyme (written by Siodmak)...

"Even a man who is pure at heart

And says his prayers by night

May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms

And the autumn moon is bright"

Hence, the werewolf turns in autumn when the wolfsbane blooms.

However, in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943), Siodmak changed the rhyme and the timing of the werewolf's transformation...

"Even a man who is pure at heart

And says his prayers by night

May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms

And the moon is full and bright"

So, now it's every full moon.

I've seen some scholars argue there is no basis in folklore for the full moon werewolf myth, but I dispute that. Sabine Baring-Gould specifically mentions in The Book of Werewolves (you can buy a fully edited, translated, formatted, and footnoted copy of that by yours truly, btw) that many southern regions of France believed werewolf turned on the full moon even well into the 1800s. He mentions that "men transformed into wolves at the full moon. The desire to run comes upon them at night."

Likewise, there's a potential moon connection as far back as Niceros's tale, as retold by Petronius in The Satyricon, though it exists in other and older forms told by other writers. It's an oft-cited werewolf story that mentions "the Moon shone brought as day" when a man turns into a wolf, though there's no obvious description of the moonlight itself being some kind of trigger or necessity for the magic. It did, however, let Niceros witness the transformation and become mentally scarred by it.

That was lengthy. Anyway, I love the full moon and werewolves. I also love werewolves and silver, even if that wasn't in folklore, but Baring-Gould alone does tell me that I think there was indeed basis in folklore for the connection between werewolves and the full moon.

Also, there's a Werewolf Fact for this, if old and not the best written: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/full-moon/

Day 7- What do you think of as the "typical werewolf color?" It might not necessarily be your favorite, but it's the one that stands out in your mind as the werewolf color - although I love them all, so obviously this doesn't apply to me.

I think brown. Sometimes grey.

Throughout my childhood, wolf-man style werewolves were usually brown and the wolf-headed ones were more likely to be grey. There were and are exceptions, of course. But even today, you're still most likely to see brown or grey, including in Halloween decorations, even if there's more variance in designs today (and you're more likely to find wolf-headed ones than you were in the past).

Day 8- One of the weirdest misconceptions I’ve run across in my life of werewolf obsession is this idea that “we need woman werewolves in media, we’ve never had many and they weren’t in the legends.” That couldn’t be less true. There have always been female werewolves in both. It's much safer today to assume the werewolf of a murder mystery will be the woman, as that's the new "twist." I'm much more shocked if it's ever the man anymore (it isn't). Werewolf women have been common even in early film, though the most popular examples begin around the 2000's. In fact, you could easily argue the first werewolf film (though it was about a witch turning into a werewolf) ever recorded in 1913 was about a female werewolf. It's lost to time now, though.

There were plenty of werewolf women in legend, too. I have a werewolf fact for that: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/werewolf-women/ (my personal favorite has always been the 1615 treatise by Jean de Nynauld, for some reason)

There's a lot more to say, but short post today since I have a lot of work to do. See you again tomorrow!

(in the original version of this post, I had 4 images, all of female werewolves from film, including Cursed, Ginger Snaps, The Howling, and Skinwalkers, though I could pull plenty more examples)

Day 9- Something I discuss a lot in The Werewolf: Past and Future is the point when werewolves "went mad," essentially. In pop culture, all the best werewolves are mad/uncontrollable at least for the most part, as inspired by The Wolf Man. It's a much better story and what makes a werewolf a werewolf in modern perceptions (including mine; those are the best werewolves). But it wasn't always the case in the legends.

Sure, there are several legends in previous time periods of mad werewolves (such as Sigmund and Sinfjotli, among others), but you'll remarkably find the majority had full control of the bestial form. This was especially common in older Christian works, such as about werewolf knights, in which being a werewolf was a test of the judgment of others or a test of one's own will. This also wasn't uncommon in ancient Greece and even Rome, such as the Arcadians taking the form of a wolf and returning to human form as long as they didn't devour any human flesh.

It was only in the Renaissance and/or Early Modern Period, with the rise of science and the popularity of slaughtering wolves (real ones), that werewolves became seen as these uncontrollable, evil, insane killers who were "diseased." In the past, being a werewolf was a magic curse. Then, it became a madness and an illness - called "lycanthropy." Some say Christianity caused this, when in actuality, it was secular divisions and the rise of scientific thought, as proven by older Christian werewolf works.

I have several werewolf facts on this subject, and I discuss it a lot in my book, too.

Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1949227022

Post 1: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/curse-not-disease/

Post 2: https://maverickwerewolf.com/werewolf-facts/when-werewolves-went-mad/

[starshipsofstarlord]

It Was Always Her

Summary: Lydia is used to being everyone's first choice, and although she doesn't quite remember all of Stiles, she knows who his priority is - y/n Hale

Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x Hale reader, Scott McCall x Hale reader

Warnings: angst, pining, ghost riders taking memories, doesn't follow the season much, written in the spring of the moment, slight mention of death, unreciprocated love, flashbacks, one swear word

Word Count: 1731

Masterlist Link

Bitterness exerted into Lydia’s mouth as she thought of Stiles; she loved whoever he was, but every time she looked at y/n a pang shot straight to her chest. None of them remembered Stiles, they just knew that he meant something to each of them, and the strawberry blonde had a feeling that the Hale girl was the key. She had been vaguely distant, perhaps it was the fear of being taken, or something that she wasn’t letting her pack know, however the banshee took it upon herself to find out. And thus when she reached the she wolf at her locker, there was confusion struck upon her agile face. "What is it y/n?" Lydia warily enquired, uncertain if this shift in her behaviour had anything to do with the boy that was missing. She was frowning, almost scowling as she was enraptured by searching through her own memories and coming upon various blank spots, unable to conclude any answer to those strange disappearances other than one word. Mischief.

"Someone saved me. Back at the start of this mess, when Scott had just been bitten by... the alpha whoever that was..." It was sad really, y/n didn't even recount the image of whom was behind the initial red eyes that had wreaked murderous havoc upon Beacon Hills and some of its supernaturally versed residents. "The Argents were going to kill me, and then there was an interruption, as though someone was pretending to know me to get me out of that situation. I knew them through Derek I think, and I'm not sure but it may have been Stiles. All I know is it was someone that I have no recollection of, I can't even picture their face, nor their voice, I can just about put the pieces together." Another wave burned at Lydia's chest, but she gulped down the sensation and sadly smiled at her now domesticated friend, rubbing her lightly upon her shoulder. "I cared deeply about this person. I don't know how I feel though, it's like there is this hole in my being that is missing, I'm confused, I wake up angry, I look at the second toothbrush in my apartment every night. I want answers, and I think the only way that I can get them is if I let the ghost riders get to me; I could be the bait."

"That's crazy." Lydia informed her, but it was a very Hale trait to go headfirst into the danger without thinking much about it. "You can't just let them get you, we have no idea what happens, if Stiles was here right now he'd tell you that all he cares is what happens to you, he loved you y/n, and I think I loved him!" Both of them paused upon Lydia's little outburst that she had not considered before, her voice reducing all speech as she grew confused how she knew such a thing. "I don't know how I knew that, but I may know a way we could get your memory back, but you're not going to like it." Y/n still seemed estranged by the stringing of evidence that had rushed from Lydia's mouth, and even she had to admit that she felt a little guilty if that was how her friend felt deep down. Stiles was a mystery, one which they both intended to uncover and only one of them could receive his affection, and it appeared that the wolf had won without so much as a battle.

'I'd go out of my mind if anything happened to you. You don't care if anything happens to you, but I'd go out of my fricking mind.' Y/n shook her head at the sound of the voice that passed through her brain; it was strangely comforting, but nevertheless she followed behind Lydia as she dragged her through the halls to the one person that could help and was probably feeling as empty as her. Scott. It didn't seem right to see that he was walking by himself after having spoken to coach, and a calm smile appeared on his face as he saw Lydia and y/n approaching him. 'Remember that I love you.' Y/n continued walking to Scott, smiling as she reached him, wrapping her arms around his neck as Lydia admittedly felt unsettled by the sight. No matter how she thought that she felt about Stiles, it was wrong, Scott and y/n weren't supposed to be together, there was definitely supposed to be someone else in the picture.

Scott pecked her lips, humming as the Hale elongated it a little longer than necessary, and the pair did not stop until Lydia cleared her throat, breaking apart her friends from their amorous greeting. "Hi, how's your day been?" He asked her, brushing her hair out of her face so that he could stroke along her cheek with the pad of his thumb, causing a smile to break out upon her face. A shrug berated her shoulders as she swayed a little, uncertain of how she was to answer that question, more so since Lydia's earlier words seemed to resonate with her a little. "I've missed you, how come you weren't at lacrosse practice, watching me from the bleachers."

"Because coach hates Bilinski, you know that, I know that, we all know that. He riles him; it’s like that time he unscrewed every last piece of his desk for mischief night, and everything else in his office. Though I can’t remember his face, but I’m sure it was a cocky one as anyone should have if they do that to Finstock.” Y/n ranted slightly, eventually stopping when she realised that all eyes were directed to her, which was normal in the partake of a conversation however both Scott and Lydia appeared rather confused of whom she was speaking of, the memories having been supernaturally condemned out from their minds. It was strange that y/n remembered any of the instances at all, the truth was she shouldn’t have.

"Don't you mean Greenberg, there's no Bilinski on the team babe?" Scott corrected her as her brows squirmed from her own swatch of confusion. “Are you feeling okay?” He felt her forehead with the back of his hand only to feel that her temperature was perfectly fine. “I could’ve sworn…” she began to speak, shaking her head as she felt the rush of many emotions over take her. “Never mind, I just need a second.” She rushed away and down the hall, Scott prepared to go after her but Lydia held him back, restricting him from following her. She needed to be alone, and Lydia didn’t. Y/n ran through the halls, not caring for the looks that she got when she came to the boys locker room, somewhere she wasn’t mean to go, but she felt like she had been there before.

As she walked in she heard voices inside her head. “So this is the alpha’s new bitch? And what is he supposed to be, his chew toy?” It was her voice she realised! And as her vision became corrupt by the past, she saw her brother Derek beside the image of her founder self, along with Scott and another boy. Thank god the locker room was realistically empty otherwise someone would have no doubt have kicked her out and ruined her imagination. “Ha, and you expect him to beat the alpha, this boy that wants to be an omega. That’s just plain stupid!” She’d never speak to Scott like that, would she? She liked him for Christ’s sake, of course she wouldn’t.

“I’m more like his owner, and am the one that keeps this werewolf on a short leash. I’d say you could use a muzzle if you weren’t so pretty.” Who was that? Seemingly it was someone that Derek was not impressed by because he growled at the boy with buzzcut, frowning harshly at the human. “This is my sister, y/n.” Derek spoke for you, watching as you rolled your eyes at the boys that were your age physically though you doubted them to be so mentally, and walked closer to the buzzcut boy, holding your hand out. “As my brother said for me, I’m y/n.”

“A veil is broke Stiles!” Peter yelled at him, understanding why people had began to break out of their routines. “And it’s because you’re here, there’s someone else that is thinking of you, remembering you! Think of who that could be, say their name!” Stiles fidgeted with his hands as he looked at the exit that they wouldn’t survive if they were to walk through it. Any moment the ghost riders could return and stamp him down with their horses, or worse, they could wrap their whips around him and drag him back to the ranks of the forgotten. “Say their name Stiles! Say it!” Peter was getting disgruntled by the lack of speech that Stiles was vocalising, he had never been patient, but he froze as a name slipped from the boy’s lips.

“Y/n.”

“I’m Stiles.” The boy had said to you and your eyes went wide. This was Stiles! You had found a memory to recognise him by, and now it was up to you to get everyone else to remember him. “Stiles…” you whispered in amazement. As Lydia had said, he loved you, and there was a rope around your heart which pulled you closer and as you stepped closer to the image it became distorted and green smoke surrounded you, making you disappear too. Scott stood as Lydia checked the time, tutting lightly but respecting your space. “Y/n’s been a while.”

“Who’s y/n?” Scott asked, and that was when Lydia realised that she shouldn’t have been so selfish for needing her own peace from hearing about Stiles through you, and instead should have stopped you from leaving in such a hurry. You had remembered, and now your own boyfriend couldn’t even remember you. Peter grabbed Stiles, dragging him past a barrier to hide behind the oncoming ghost riders, the veil had been intercepted, and as they watched from their hiding spot, Peter tilted his head as Stiles gasped. “Is that…?” He didn’t get to finish his question as the alpha that had turned his best friend did instead. “Y/n.”

[swampgallows]

Does Thrall ever express discomfort or contempt at being called Go'el by uh. (oh my god i've forgotten her name) Aggra. I don't think anyone else really calls him by that name

absofruitly dude. aggra straight up calls it a “filthy name” (which, yeah, literally it does mean slave, but holy shit) and that it’s “unfit”, despite him outright saying he prefers it.

The text is as follows:

“You are Thrall, son of Durotan,” she said without preamble. “I am,” he replied. “A filthy name. Here you will be called Go’el.”

The bluntness of her statement took him aback slightly. He had not been ordered around for many a year, not since he had proved his worth to the Frostwolf clan and to Orgrim Doomhammer one night long ago. 

“Go’el might be the name my parents intended for me, but fate chose otherwise. I prefer Thrall.”

She turned her head and spat. “A human word that means ‘slave’. It is not fit for any orc to bear, least of all one who claims to lead us—even the ones who don’t live in his world.”

Thrall’s nostrils flared at the insulting gesture, and his words had a sharp edge to them. “I am warchief of the Horde, shaman, and I have made the Alliance fear the name that once meant ‘slave’. To them, it now means the glory and power of the Horde. I would ask you to use the name I have chosen to keep.”

She shrugged. “You can keep it, but we won’t use it. Unless I am mistaken, you come not as warchief of the Horde to order us about, but as a shaman seeking wisdom.”

“This is true.” Thrall forced down the righteous anger that bubbled up inside him. He had chided Garrosh for giving in to such things; he would follow his own advice and remain calm. “I have come to learn from my grandmother, Greatmother Geyah. Will you take me to her, please?”

His voice was courteous, but not subservient, and the orc girl seemed slightly—ever so slightly—mollified.

“I will,” she said. “And without a doubt you will learn much from her. But she has instructed that you will have another teacher for most of your lessons, as she tires easily.” “Anyone Geyah thinks is fit to teach me, I will humbly learn from,” Thrall said with utter sincerity. “What is his name?” “Her name is Aggra,” said the girl, turning away and striding off briskly, clearly expecting him to follow. “I look forward to meeting this Aggra.” She shot him a quick glance over shoulder and smiled archly around her tusks. “You already have.”

— The Shattering: Prelude to Cataclysm by Christie Golden, pg. 199-200

This is why a lot of us WoW meta folks sometimes refer to Go’el as Thrall’s deadname and generally dislike Aggra as a character for forcing him to use it. He is clearly uncomfortable with being called Go’el but he accepts it as part of his coping process in stepping down as warchief. I mean I get it, he had to kinda detach from everything that made him feel beholden to the title of warchief, and he cares about the Horde (HIS Horde, honestly) so much that it made it difficult. It probably came off as corny or even cowardly to newer folks, but it is such an act of defiance to those who have seen Thrall’s story progression for him to tell Saurfang “I will NOT lead the Horde” in Safe Haven.

And it’s a little more meta I think to link it to Chris Metzen’s real life (who both voices and created the character of Thrall), but in his interviews with Scott Johnson about stepping down from Blizzard for his health, he describes his own inability to let go and his struggles with imposter syndrome, which played out almost simultaneously with Thrall’s storyline. Metzen does say this was unintentional however, as his issues with panic attacks and eventual departure from Blizzard came much later; he was unconsciously channeling a lot of his own struggles into the story development and had other people at Blizzard point it out to him. Metzen says he had to be “struck by lightning so hard that [his] hands would reflexively open” in order to let go, relinquish control, and allow himself to rest. It had to be all at once, immediate, and intense. 

I think Thrall, in the same way, had to make a full, complete, radical change to distance himself and begin healing. Perhaps returning to a name that he was “supposed” to have might have helped him center himself and envision what his life would be like without the Horde from the beginning. But yeah, other characters do struggle with it, and it seems post-Safe Haven/BFA all iterations of Thrall/Go’el are now Thrall, up to and including what I’ve seen in Shadowlands. Aggra did still refer to Thrall as “Go’el” in the Death’s Rising pre-patch scenario however. 

[understanding-media]

Is there a shift in how celebrities are viewed, and is it good?? would you agree??

BA (Hons) Media Production

Kane O’Brien (Student ID: s5314184)

My case study for this essay - "is there a shift in how celebrities are viewed by, and interact with fandoms, and is it for the better?"

This essay intends to delve into some new shifts in celebrity perception by a new form of fandom that celebrities are cultivating and how there's a change in how they present themselves and interact with these fandoms. Also looking briefly at the importance of this for society, how with more accessible celebrities there can be less of an invisible social wall between them and how "normal" people feel locked off on one side of it while celebrities know the secret to get over it. But also, with this wall crumbling, celebrities can become more in tune with the real world and less outcast, and seemingly ignorant to the real world and its issues.

I find this case study important to look into even though is still a fairly new shift but such a significant shift because with this change people goals become less impossible. From my experience with getting into music production and with finding a large music producer that casually streams on twitch himself giving advice and showing what he does but just like any other person and showing I can get where I want with effort and that they aren't so far away from normal people.

The two concepts I will use to analyse my case study are Fandoms and Participatory culture. Fandom being looking into the people who have these celebrities as a part of their life more so than just liking their content and participatory culture where the fandoms participate in the content and life of the celebrities. A prime example I will be using throughout this essay will be a music producer by the name 'Kenny Beats', he's a prime example of both a fandom where he's built a community he regularly interacts with and live streams with other celebrities that the fandom tunes into daily and bond over their common "idol". Participatory culture is his main allure to his fandom, he runs a discord community that he gives free royalty-free content, and also linked with his streams the community participates in 'beat battles' where he reviews, gives advice, and has even gotten people signed to labels. He contributes to his fandom and also has the fandom casually participate in his content with even offering salary paid jobs at his business "D.O.T.S"

To state the cores of my chosen concepts are "Fandom as a whole is a subculture that celebrates a mutual bond formed between people over a book series, TV show, movie, band, or other forms of pop culture" (Morrison, 2016), and "the idea that various peoples, societies, and cultures to interact with new media in a way that allows them both to add and take away information from this medium." (Jenkins, 2006) is the core of Participatory culture. These are the most important concepts for this case study as having a good fandom allows for a blossoming community that can feel connected to and understanding of the celebrity, having good participatory culture allows for that fandom and other participants to offer something to the media or industry they desire to be a part of and feel a connection rather than separated as people and the media and its celebrities. Of course, though with fandoms there's the risk of them becoming toxic with a higher feeling of entitlement and gatekeeping to others making the celebrities even more dejected from normal society and even less accessible.

although I do firmly believe that the integration of participatory culture it levels that out allowing the celebrity to intervene and shape their community. As with participatory culture being endorsed in new fandoms, it allows a level of self-governing where they can communicate with the celebrity in question to allow changes to be made that the people want and can solve issues of toxicity directly.

This is the basis of what I desire to focus on and evaluate to reach the answer of my case study with my research to bring this to light and create discussion on the topic.

is there currently a shift in how celebrities are viewed by, and interact with fandoms, and is it for the better? In the past and up till recently celebrities were viewed in a very specific way as idols and out of reach and touch with "normal people", they are regularly presented as beings above the rest of us and people obsess over their lives seeing them as "the best of the best" or remarkable idols, it's a strange obsession developed over years. (Levy, 2015) (for example, how people are obsessed when they date "normal" people rather than other celebrities)

with this presentation and obsession, celebrities are dejected from societal norms and the issues that go on around them. For example, "A-list" celebrities like Drake, Jamie Fox, and others don't interact commonly with "normal" people or have their fans/fandoms participate in their lives casually or in their work having suggestions or adding something to the content these huge celebrities create and fans love. But in recent years there's been a shift in a few of the "lower tier" celebrities where they develop a community that feels involved but not entitled to the lives of these people. The best example of this and who I will regularly refer to is music producer 'Kenny Beats' who has produced some of the biggest Hip-Hop songs in recent years and is extremely idolised and respected.

Kenny Beats started a YouTube show In March of 2019, in this show he casually met up with huge celebrities in Hip-Hop and it showed these people and himself joking around in a studio that seemed 3rd rate, it showed a human side to these people and started a fandom around him and these people that weren't obsessed in the common way celebrity fandoms are. Then at the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, he started a Discord community for his fans to talk to each other and communicate with him in, as well as a Twitch live stream where the new wave finally began for this shift in celebrity representation and community. He would casually talk to this community as a member rather than "the face" a sole reason for it, he would take fan advice and that would go into real songs, his fandom actively participated in his work and he actively participated in theirs. This wave of participatory culture developed his fandom into an organic and casual state where he would get people jobs and signed to a label but also where these "normal people" were a part of his content and art. His Fandom became something casual, and the people never saw him as some famous pariah they idolised and obsessed over, they don't pry or feel entitled to his or his celebrity guests/friend life like most fandoms act.

Although this sounds great and progressive on the surface, with this shift towards this new wave of fandom and fan interaction there comes risks. People are so set in their ways of idolising and believing in their right to know about their favourite celebrities. If the more "A-list" celebrities with these already obsessive fans and invasive swamping paparazzi culture around them take a step in this direction of cultivating a fandom with real participation between them and their community, without a smart and smooth transition and commitment they run the risk of cultivating and growing the toxic and entitled way of thinking further removing them from "normal society" and have a huge surge of gatekeeping and people feeling more entitled as they now have a community the celebrity is involved in. especially with cancel culture growing and growing where even then with a casual approach they run the risk of people not liking if their expectations aren't met. And this causes celebrities to become more detrimental to themselves and is what creates the commonly seen narcissism in celebrity culture, this toxic isolation and obsession with their lives creates many issues for celebrities and their fans (Brian H. Spitzberg, William R. Cupach, 2008)

But this is changing, slowly but surely. With a couple of celebrities that are much more high profile than 'Kenny Beats' but following in his footsteps with this shift in. fan interaction, these being 'Snoop Dogg' and 'T-Pain' now also doing regular streams on the platform Twitch and shows them doing pretty normal stuff and grounding them. Snoop Dogg now regularly streams games he plays and takes recommendations from his fans and just using twitch, in general, entices participatory culture on the fan side of actually having a part in this new venture of his into streaming.

T-Pain also streams and has a discord very similar to Kenny Beats, but T-Pain focuses more on a discussion about the music industry and helping his fandom to feel secure and capable but in a realistic way rather than the old "you can do anything" crap. He shows a side we don't get to see from most other huge celebrities and shows the truth of how he's just a guy that worked hard and slowly became famous and that it doesn't happen overnight. Showing that this shift so far is positive and has created very friendly and inclusive fandoms where participatory culture plays a huge role in its success and casual nature rather than the toxic obsession format we're used to.

The celebrities we see taking part in this shift are also far more involved in talking about the real-world problems which is a great thing as celebrities are a huge factor in what people care about and are exposed to, especially where fewer and fewer people watch/read news sources and its mostly through word of mouth and public figures addressing it, celebrities that have these more caring and social fandoms are detrimental these days for the awareness of distant suffering issues and it's improving from the old ignorant ways of celebrities and their narcissism due to their activity and participation with the fans who are caring of these issue's and contribute to the celebrities world education and vice versa (Scott, 2014)

Personally, for this topic, I do find it important. I'm very passionate about getting g into the media industry and more specifically into music production, but that sort of career was always a very far-off dream and so very inaccessible to some random kid from a small town in England where nothing ever happens. But finding 'Kenny Beats' who I spoke on in the main essay changed that way of thinking for me. I originally had a lot of disdain for the sort of celebrity culture and the fandoms that surround them as most are toxic, obsessive, and filled with gatekeeping. For example, used to be extremely into metal music but the fandoms in that are elitist and unwelcoming to anyone who doesn't know everything, but when I found Kenny Beats fandom and how he interacts with everyone and that they participated with him I was amazed and felt welcomed, and everyone is there teaching each other all the time about music and even just talking and helping people just with anything. It re-inspired me to do what I was passionate about as I saw him as just another guy that was good at what he does and that he cares and helps people, he even ended up getting a 16-year-old boy from Scotland signed to 'XL Records' (the label that does Adele and Radio head!) this new, completely different fandom to what I'd ever seen before inspired me and helped with my anxiety of wasting my time working for a "silly pipe dream of a career"

So, in conclusion to my case study. I feel the answer is yes, in my opinion, we are starting to see celebrities more and more as people rather than commodities and it's an incredibly good thing for society as these people are important to the public's decisions and what we are exposed to and care about. And with them being more grounded they can be more involved in the world rather than dismissed because they're "dumb celebrities". Although yes there are the risks of cultivating a more toxic and entitled community with higher-profile celebrities but with something as simple as starting with a good social presence on a platform like Twitter, especially like 'Lil Nas X' who is rather huge now but is seen as a rather normal person from his casual and human-like tweets that ground him and make him relatable. because that's all it is in the end, celebrities need to take this shift and become more grounded and relatable to the "normal" person, and this shift is that starting to happen, and it will help the world and its people be better. slowly but surely, at least in my opinion. what's yours??

(please use this link to see sources used, recommendations for future use are welcomed)

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Across Seven Seas

Chapter 12

Description: This fanfiction series is set in the year 2022, after the horrid COVID-19 has finally come to an end. In this fanfiction, Chris Evans holidays with his family in India and meets Meera Shankar. The story explores their rollercoaster journey and raises a question, whether two people, from two contrasting backgrounds and cultures, can build their future together?

Series Masterlist

Chapter 13

Main Masterlist

This series is Chris Evans x OFC with Chris Evans' family and friends having recurring appearances. Please find below a lot of Original Characters-

Meera Shankar - The female lead

Meera's Mother

Poppy - Meera's maternal grandmother

Rohan - Meera's elder brother who is 6 years older than her.

Ankur - Concierge of the Hotel Maple-Fawn in Mussoorie

Warning: Curse words, beginning of rape, alcohol consumption, angst

This is a work of fiction. The names of the hotels and companies have been changed to avoid copyright issues. Meera Shankar and her family is based on the author and her kin. No offense is intended.

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

...

Chapter 12

Meera rang the doorbell of the Evans suite. Situated on the top floor of the hotel, the passage way to the suite was lined with ornate arches, marble statues and impeccable sophisticated lighting. The entire decor screamed opulence in capital letters. It also made her feel uncomfortably out of place.

Scott opened the door and let her in. He welcomed her to take a seat in the living room of the suite, along with Lisa, Chris, Shanna and Carly. "Did all of you see the news?" Meera asked as she took a seat, wincing a little. "Yeah we did. We just wanted to ask a few questions. Thank you for coming up here even though you are exhausted. It means a lot," said Scott. 

Meera brushed him off, "It's okay. I will try my best to put your mind at ease." She looked around at their silent faces. They looked a little nervous and Meera soon realised why. She was sitting in her usual position, legs wide apart, back slightly bent, forearms resting on her knees with her palms meeting in the middle. While she felt comfortable in this position, her Mother had always reminded her that women sat with their legs closed and not like mobsters planning to threaten people.

"Umm... Yeah so… I mean…" Scott struggled, clearly hesitant.

Meera chuckled under her breath, "Why don't I start with the obvious questions. You can ask me later on if I miss out on anything." Scott nodded.

"So first of all, why did I not take any credit for the fight? Simple. I wanted to protect my family, especially my brother. He works with a cruise ship in the US and," she sighed, "stuff like this will make it harder for him to renew his visa."

Meera looked at Chris, "You gave your honest statement to the police officer. It was I who translated it and signed the false statement. So… So please be assured, you will not get into any legal trouble." She removed her phone from her bomber jacket, "I have a voice recording of your original statement. I can give it to you right now if you want. So that just in case, in the future, if this matter ever comes to light, you will have proof to back you up."

The 5 looked considerably relieved now. Scott gave her his email ID where she could send the recording. Once she did, she deleted the sent email and his email ID from her contact list in front of them.

"Now for the next question, how and when did I manage to plan all this? I spoke with Inspector Rima when she came to arrest those 3 gentlemen. I explained to her that since you were US citizens, you were planning to file a complaint with your embassy and would see to it that this matter received international coverage. She understood that her police force would be insulted and she would definitely get suspended. So," Meera sighed again, only this time pain visibly flashed across her face, "she agreed to take the credit and include you guys in the report as just tourists."

"From whatever little I know, there were 26 members in the gang and all of them have been caught. So you guys are all safe. Plus, the hotel is…," she groaned a little with pain, "is providing us with increased security. Nobody can enter our respective floors without avoiding the hotel guards. So yes, you can stay here for the remainder of your trip," she ended.

She looked around at them with a small smile, "Any questions?"

"I do," said Shanna slowly, "Why did you not use your knife to fight those guys? I mean they had knives too right? You were lucky only your sweater was torn."

Meera nodded, "I was incredibly lucky today. The fight could have gone sideways very fast. I didn't use the knife because…" she paused again, running fingers on her forehead, "Aah... because it would have further complicated the crime scene. See you can easily explain punches and kicks as self-defence to the police, but when a knife or any other weapon gets involved, it comes close to the murder-territory. I figured if… if I could distract them with my laughter and insults, I could take them on one-by-one." 

She looked at Chris again. He was still wearing her sweater and cap, "That reminds me, can I please have my sweater and skull cap back?"

Chris became tongue-tied. He could feel everyone's attention on him now. Quick! Say something smart! He kept looking at Meera. He knew her body must be paining, but he saw a greater pain in her eyes. Her pink lips were slightly quivering, as if she could cry in an instant. Her eyelids were heavy with sleep. He knew she needed rest, yet here she was, reassuring his family. He wanted to hold her, hug her tight and tell her everything would be okay. But would she let him? He should have protected her today, and instead, he was a coward. Would she ever forgive him for that?

"Umm Mr Evans?" Tell her why can't you return her belongings. SPEAK YOU FUCKING MEATBALL!! His breaths started coming in rapid successions as his eyes grew wider. You are a fucking 41-year-old man, TALK!!! But the more he thought about talking, the more he shut himself. 

"Oh God baby no it's okay," said Lisa, lightly rubbing his hands while Shanna and Carly started fanning him with the newspapers. "Hey do you want to sing the Little Mermaid song?" Scott suggested, kneeling in front of his brother. 

Meera got up, headed to the refrigerator and brought the ice cube tray in front of Chris. "Pop one in your mouth," she suggested in a commanding tone. Chris looked at her, a little confused but still panicking.

"What are you talking abo…" Before Scott could finish his sentence, she said, "Trust me. Pop one ice cube into your brother's mouth."

Raising his eyebrows and shaking his head in disbelief, Scott still did as she instructed. 

The confusion on Chris' face grew, then the cold hit him. "AFHASGHAHAGHHFA," he said with his mouth open, his panic attack now forgotten. He looked at Meera, dancing a little on his feet with the cold ice cube in his mouth. She just nodded, "Yes you can go and spit it out now."

She placed the ice tray back in the refrigerator. 

When Chris came back, she asked him, "Feeling better?" He nodded, managing to say "Thanks" quietly.

"Umm why… and how?" a stunned Carly managed to ask her.

She addressed them, "There are 3 reasons why putting an ice cube in your mouth works while having a panic attack. One," she raised a finger, and immediately winced in pain, "...the idea acts as a distraction. Two, the cold shocks your system and confuses it. And three, I figured... you might not be drinking enough water, which would have caused your mouth to produce more… ummm…," Meera shook her head as if thinking, "more saliva, which would calm you down."

She stood while they took a seat. "Mr Evans," she spoke gently, "I am sorry I caused you to have a panic attack. When I asked for my stuff, I didn't mean immediately right now. You can return it tomorrow," she closed her eyes and gripped the chair as she felt a little dizzy, "I didn't mean for you to shed your clothes in front of me if that's what you thought."

"Oh no no," Chris finally found his voice, "I didn't... I didn't think that. Please take a seat, you are clearly injured. Have you seen a doctor yet?" 

Meera smiled again, "No I haven't. I don't need to. I will be fine. I will take your leave now." 

As she was leaving, the family thanked her once again. Lisa asked her, "Are you sure you want your sweater back? It's been torn quite horribly." 

"Yes," Meera looked even more exhausted now, if that were possible. "I… I come from a family of… of…" she shook her head and again placed a few fingers on her forehead. "Ummm you know those people who… who do repair work… but of clothes… and they sew new clothes as well? What is the word? What are they called? I am sorry I am having a hard time translating things into English now."

"No don't be sorry. Did you mean a tailor?" 

"Yes! Yes a tailor. I come from a family of women tailors. Yes tailors. Thank you. I will stitch it back together," Meera bid goodbye to them, thinking about her bathtub and soft bed longingly.

…

Back in Meera's room, her phone chimed again. Vikranth: 20 missed calls flashed across the screen.

…

Meera collapsed on her bed. She closed her eyes, the pain in her arms and legs increasing with each second. She groaned as her mobile buzzed. Can't I have a minute of peace? Slowly reaching out for the phone, she saw it was Rohan. 

"Are you okay?" he asked on the call.

"Yes. Will order room service and go to sleep."

"What's your room number? Ma is freaking out here," Rohan sounded concerned, "Look she is worried. Don't do this to her."

"If I give her my room number then she will come down here. She will not give me an iota of space or freedom. Tell her I am in the hotel and I am safe. Explain to her all the security measures the hotel is taking. Even after that, if it doesn't help her paranoia then I cannot do anything about it. No, Rohan, YOU please understand," she interrupted her brother, "I am in pain right now. My hands and legs hurt like crazy and I cannot take any medicine. Right now, I just need my space and time to heal. I am in the hotel so she has nothing to worry about. If she still chooses to worry then I cannot help it. Good night," Meera disconnected the call.

…

2am

Meera was back on the road. 6 big, strong men headed towards her as she ran. She knew she couldn't fight all 6 at once. She tried to run fast but couldn't. Her foot got stuck in the uneven road and she fell face-first. She felt multiple hands on her, ripping her clothes apart. Rough hands turned her around, and she saw her rapists as they started devouring her body in front of her family.

She woke up trembling with shock. Her mouth was open in a silent scream as her body was covered with sweat. She felt breathless. It took her a solid minute to realise she was safe in her room. It was just a nightmare, it was just a nightmare, she tried to calm herself down. Switching on the lights, she headed towards the refrigerator, and popped an ice cube in her mouth. She was on her 3rd ice cube when she finally stopped trembling. 

Reaching for her phone, she decided to watch anything to divert her mind. That's when she noticed the multiple missed calls and messages. She clicked on the notifications and saw her Mother's messages first.

I gave you my life and this is how you repay me?

I have done everything for you! Cared for you, cleaned, cooked, drove you around, was with you every step of the way and you left me all alone? No mother deserves this.

You should be ashamed of what you have done. 

No parent should have a daughter like you. 

Look at how your brother is supporting us in these times of crisis. And you did nothing. You didn't even ask Vikranth for help because of your ego.

You don't deserve to have anybody in your life.

I am extremely disappointed in you.

Wow, Meera thought as she held her head in her hands. She tried to cry, but maybe her body was still in shock, because no tears came to her eyes. 

Nodding her head, she hugged herself and kept repeating, Okay, okay we will get through this. We are okay. We just need to freak out and cry right now. Okay, okay. Freak out and cry. We need to leave this room now. Okay.

…

Chris couldn't sleep. It was all just too much for him to process. The light snores of his brother filled the room. They had all decided to sleep in the suite after the day's events. He couldn't even think straight, let alone sleep. Deciding he needed a drink, he quietly crept out of his bed, taking the room key with him.

He headed towards the hotel's 24x7 bar, hoping to find it deserted. As soon as he entered, he saw the bar was empty, except for one chair in the corner. He couldn't see the person except for a corner of their shawl hanging from the side of the large armchair. The person was playing soft music on their phone. Chris approached the bartender, noticing the shocked and… almost repulsive look on his face as the bartender kept looking at the person in the corner. 3 bottles of different soft drinks were open in front of him but he only focused on the person, his mouth slightly open.

"Ahem," Chris slightly coughed, drawing the attention of the bartender towards him. As Chris asked for a whisky on the rocks, he swore he heard the bartender murmur "Thank God." 

He turned to look at the figure in the corner. While he still couldn't see them, he saw their reflection in the floor-to-ceiling glass window. He saw Meera.

He glanced at his drink on the counter debating whether to approach her or not. He couldn't afford to have another panic attack in front of her. He had to be strong. He took two large gulps of the strong whisky, immediately regretting his action. As he coughed and sputtered, he asked for a refill. 

He felt his throat and chest burn, somewhat fuelling his courage. Taking his drink, he approached her. 

As Chris neared Meera, he heard the melodious song more clearly. Even though it was in Hindi, he understood the sad tune. He saw her tear-stained cheeks and stopped. There wasn't another chair besides her where he could sit and comfort her.

Maybe she needs to feel the pain. I should just leave her alone. She might not like me interrupting her… Chris thought, but he couldn't help himself. Taking another step towards her, he gingerly asked, "Meera?"

She turned her head to look at him. Squinting her eyes, she was still unable to see the person. Putting on her glasses, she spoke through tears, "Mr Evans?" her red eyes registering slight surprise. 

"Do you want to talk about it? What can I do to help you?" 

Meera wiped her nose with a tissue, "Please leave me alone Mr Evans. I just want to be alone," she begged. 

Chris nodded, but still stood in his spot. He looked around and decided to bring another comfortable armchair near Meera's.

He dragged it and placed it right besides the sidetable where her phone and glasses were kept. 

Meera looked at him in disbelief, "Mr Evans I just want to be left alone. So please! Leave!" she said, her voice breaking.

He looked at her, feeling his own emotions overwhelming, "I am not asking you to talk to me. Just think of me as another guest in this bar. I will not interfere in any way. I promise you I will stay quiet. But if you think I will leave you alone, after everything that you have done for us, for me, after what you have gone through, then you are wrong Meera. I will not leave you."

"Why do you not understand," Meera broke down further, "I need to cry, I need to feel this. This is going to get ugly. You will feel uncomfortable! Please just leave."

Chris considered her for a moment, then nodded and left. He soon returned with a stack of paper napkins and placed them on the table besides her phone and glasses. "This should get you through the next hour," he said. 

She looked at him, helpless, then sunk her head in her hands, crying further. Chris settled back in his chair, his body angled towards her. He wished she would let him comfort her, but somewhere, he also understood the importance of going through this alone. God only knows how many nights he had cried himself to sleep, refusing help from his own family, all because he wanted to stay alone.

Slowly, her sobs lessened. She used the new tissue and wiped her face, discarding it in the nearby bin. As she reached for the phone, Chris placed his hand on her mobile before her. "Don't change the song." "But you don't understand the lyrics," she said, her voice still broken. "No, but I like it. Let it play on loop," Chris said kindly. She nodded and took a sip of her drink. It looked a lot like neat whisky. Chris wondered, Why was the bartender repulsed? Was it because she was crying? That asshole.

After a few more sips, she said in a quiet voice, "Our Night." 

"Hmm?" 

"Our Night. The name of the song is Our Night. It is about how our night is a friend of the moon, but after a long time, she has come alone. She is darkness." Meera took another deep breath, "In the song, the singer wants to switch off all the lights and talk to the darkness. She understands that the darkness is hurtful. It is crazy even, but it is still hers. She just wants to be alone with the darkness."

Meera looked ahead and started crying again. Chris just looked at her, his own eyes brimming with tears now. He knew something had happened after she had left their suite. She didn't look like the type of person who broke down easily. He would give anything to find out who or what had upset her. 

He looked at her reflection in the window, his own tears trickling down his cheeks. Finally, he allowed his emotions to take over. 

That night, the stars in the moonless sky smiled down at them, as two people, from two different walks of life, cried together over what had happened, completely unaware of what the future had in store for them.

(This is the song if you want to listen ⬇️)

[chris-evans-indian-fanfic]

Across Seven Seas

Chapter 4

Description: This fanfiction series is set in the year 2022, after the horrid COVID-19 has finally come to an end. In this fanfiction, Chris Evans holidays with his family in India and meets Meera Shankar. The story explores their rollercoaster journey and raises a question, whether two people, from two contrasting backgrounds and cultures, can build their future together?

WE FINALLY FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHRIS IN THIS CHAPTER!

This series is Chris Evans x OFC with Chris Evans' family and friends having recurring appearances. Please find below a lot of Original Characters-

Meera Shankar - The female lead

Meera's Mother

Poppy - Meera's maternal grandmother

Rohan - Meera's elder brother who is 6 years older than her.

Ankur - Concierge of the Hotel Maple-Fawn in Mussoorie

Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3

Chapter 5

FIND MORE CHAPTERS BY CLICKING ON MY BIO

P.S- India follows only one timezone.

P.P.S- All the photographs used in the chapters are of the real locations mentioned. I clicked these photographs on my vacation.

This is a work of fiction. The names of the hotels and companies have been changed to avoid copyright issues. Meera Shankar and her family is based on the author and her kin. No offense is intended.

I don’t consent to have any of my work published or featured on any third party app, website or translated. If you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but tumblr, it has been reposted without my permission. In that case, please do share the link and let me know.

...

Chapter 4

7th September, 1:50 pm - Dehradun-Mussoorie Road

Seated comfortably in 2 large SUVs, the Evans family was on its way to Maple-Fawn, where they were to spend the rest of their vacation in peace. While almost everyone was fast asleep, Chris was wide-awake, awestruck with the view as their cars drove on winding slopes of the mountain. His body was tired, but his eyes refused to shut, taking in every detail of the natural beauty.

When they finally reached the hotel, the cold air was cruelly nipping at them. Since Delhi had been extremely hot, they had decided to ditch the winter wear until after they reached Mussoorie. Basking in the warmth of their rooms, Chris couldn't help but marvel at the view from his room. The entire valley was sprawled beneath him, the hill-side dotted with lush green leaves.

There were mountains as far as his eyes could see, dark green set against the bright blue sky. This would be a good place to sketch, he thought, sitting on the chair in his bedroom balcony.

The rest of the day was uneventful for the family, with all of them tuckered out.

Same day, 5:30pm - Hotel Maple-Fawn

Bundled up in 2 sweaters, a jacket, skull cap and finally, a shawl to cover it all up, Meera finished her walk across the property. She now knew where the gym, yoga centre, gaming zone, library, swimming pool, dance club, spa and garden were located. She knew every exit, every corridor and passage. She was satisfied with the amount of fire extinguishers present and their ease of access. The hotel had various maps screwed into the walls, with clearly demarcated ways to the nearest exit and fire extinguishers.

Heading back to her room, she felt her phone vibrate. "Hey Ma, what happened?" she answered the call. "Where are you?" "Just taking a walk, coming back now." "YOU LEFT THE HOTEL?! ALONE?!" shouted her mother. "Ma, calm down, I did not leave the hotel. I was just taking a walk inside the hotel premises. I wanted to see their gym, swimming pool, gaming zone, spa..." "Oh okay okay, but you should have told me you are going na." "Have you checked your phone? I sent you a Whatsapp message when I left. You even received it," replied Meera. "Yes but that was a long time ago!" "It was only 20 minutes ago Ma!" said an indignant Meera, "It is not my fault that you panicked!" "I am your mother. I have every right to panic when I can't find my children." Reaching the lift to her portion of the hotel, Meera disconnected the call.

Conducting a thorough check of any premises had become somewhat of a habit for Meera. There had been too many instances where innocent people had been the victims of fires just because the building had not been upto code, or even if they were, then the people did not know where the exits were or how to use a fire extinguisher. She was not going to take any chances when it came to protecting her family.

Entering the shared bedroom, Meera's mother ran to hug her, "Where were you? Do you know how worried I was?" "Mom I had been gone for just 20 minutes. Can you please not be so clingy?" retorted Meera, dodging her mother. "I am a mother. Mothers are not clingy." "First of all," replied Meera, "A mother is a relation and being clingy is a personality trait, so yes, you can be both. And secondly, I told you where I am na, what is the need to be so hyper all the time?" "I worry Bala," her Mother said with concern, "Times are bad." "If the times are bad then..." "How is the rest of the hotel?" interrupted Poppy, ending their conversation. "It is great. They even have a small library here. Some of your favourite authors are available as well. There's Danielle Steel, Maeve Binchy and Babara Taylor Bradford." "Oo that's nice. Any books which we haven't read?" "I don't know which books you haven't read, but I will take you there whenever you want. I got this interesting book which talks about the history of Mussoorie and..." "Why is my phone hanging?" Poppy interrupted again, "Meera check and see what is wrong with my phone." Meera quietly sighed. Her grandmother had an annoying habit of interrupting people when they were talking about something she wasn't interested in. Clearing some of the junk from the phone, she handed it back to Poppy. "Aah now it's working properly," smiled Poppy.

Next day, 10am - Hotel Maple-Fawn

The restaurant where all the meals were served housed floor-to-ceiling windows which offered a beautiful view of the trees and overlooked the valley below.

The Evans family was already at the table next to the window, savoring the delicious breakfast. Scott suddenly stopped eating his omelette, his eyes squinting at something across the room. "Did you guys see that woman? She took a bowl of cornflakes and is eating them without milk! Why would she do that?" Carly and Lisa turned around while Shanna tried to crane her neck to look at the person. "Who are you talking about?" asked Shanna. "That woman in the skull cap! She's sitting at the table of 4, with 3 other people! The one who's wearing the bulky sweater and shawl!" "That's not a woman, that's a man," stated Carly, "I saw him walking around our wing yesterday. He was looking at all the fire extinguishers and the maps for some reason. I thought he worked with the hotel. What a weirdo." "I think that's a woman," contributed Lisa, "What do you think Chris?" "Not interested," came the reply.

Over the course of the next few days, members of the Evans family kept spotting the 'mystery person', either at the gaming zone, the library, restaurant or around the premises. Shanna swore she once heard the person and their voice sounded "Deep and gruff, just like a man's!" "Bullshit!" retorted Scott, "I saw her crouching on the gravel pathway yesterday. It's a she!" "Wait why was she crouching on the pathway for no reason? That is so weird!" commented Stella, Chris' 13-year-old niece. "Oh she was picking up some wrapper or plastic, I don't know I wasn't very close." "Then how are you sure it was she and not he?" argued Shanna.

The doorbell of their suite rang, putting a pause to the argument. The concierge, Ankur, was at the door. He informed them that the hotel was organising a horse-riding workshop for the next day and wanted to check if anyone would be interested to participate. "Sounds like fun," Scott wondered, "No! I cannot hear you complain about chafed thighs for the rest of the vacation," said Chris. After they politely refused, Ankur reminded Chris about the mediation program. "You have only visited one session sir, when we had you signed up for the entire duration of your stay. Did you not like the session?" "Oh no it was great. I... I just wanted to spend sometime with my family, you know?" "I understand sir. You can rejoin the program anytime you want. I will take your leave. Do let us know if there's anything we can do to serve you," and with that, Ankur left.

"I am sorry," apologized Carly, "I thought you might like the mediation program. Rishikesh is just a few hours away you know. We can go and spend the rest of our vacation there." "Please don't say that," replied Chris, "They have a nice teacher here. It's just that I have already heard and read everything that the guru was preaching. Plus it's so beautiful here. I want us to stay," Chris tried his best to sound convincing.

It wasn't that this vacation was a bad idea, the change of location and the absence of the hounding media had relieved some of the stress Chris had been facing. It was just that Chris felt like he didn't belong anywhere. Uptil now, for the better part of the vacation, he had stayed holed up in his room, either watching PicFlix or sitting in his balcony, with a blank notepad and pencil. There were days when his mind was flooded with thoughts and then there were times when he felt... numb. He sat in the cold, without a sweater or a jacket, just to feel the nip of the wind, which never really came. He felt like he was either running at top speed, or he had come to a full stop. When therapy had not worked for him, he had tried to speak to his family, but they were always supportive and just this once, just this once, he did not want them to be. He had fucked up, and he wanted a way to fix it. But how could he when he himself needed fixing?

Settling back in his room, with a glass of whisky, neat, he closed his eyes, to rewind everything that had happened, once again.

Post the COVID-19 nightmare, when the country had finally reopened and life had started to return to normalcy, Chris and his partners, Mark Kassen and Joe Kiani, had finally launched their civic engagement project A Starting Point (ASP). The launch had been successful, with Chris' devoted fans flocking to the website in the first few days. The concept had been quite simple, to get senators on one-minute videos to answer questions on topics related to education, trade policies, immigration and more. They had managed to get inputs and secure participation from politicians belonging to both the parties. It all worked fine for the first 2 months.

The third month came with its own set of issues. Many politicians started promoting their own agendas, instead of just explaining the existing policies. This led to a shortage of interview clips as Chris and his team refused to air such videos.

As time went on, politicians belonging to the same parties started giving different, contradicting information on the same topics. While some senators painted a pretty picture about a particular policy, others spoke against it. What added fuel to the fire was that the some of the news media had started reporting that Chris was causing friction in both the political parties through ASP, especially the Republican party. It also didn't help that Chris had been outspoken against the previous Republican President. Moreover, politicians who answered questions by ASP started changing their responses when they were asked the same questions by the media. They blamed Chris for somehow manipulating and changing their responses.

This had already started taking a toll on Chris' career. Award functions were reluctant to invite him to the ceremony, let alone nominate him for his roles. His box office collections had started seeing a decline. Even the media was increasingly writing negative stories about him, wondering whether America's blue-eyed hero is finally becoming the villian.

As months passed, an increased number of citizens were disgruntled by the lack of new videos and hence, lack of information on the site.

The final nail in ASP's coffin was Senator Yellowstone. One of the youngest senators to ever be elected, Senator Yellowstone was charming, intelligent and sharp. He understood the need for reforms in the governement and knew that change was inevitable in order for the country to progress. It was uncanny how Chris and Yellowstone agreed on multiple political issues. Both of them saw eye-to-eye when it came to the electoral college, voting and other issues. As a result, Yellowstone became one of the top contributors of ASP, always open to share a small video on the topics that mattered the most.

Chris would never forget the day when Yellowstone's rape scandal broke the news. He had been accused of rape and molestation by 43 teenagers. Apparently, as a part of his community outreach, Yellowstone ran a program wherein he would tutor and guide young females who would be interested to take part in politics in the near future. Chris had been impressed by the initiative and had supported Yellowstone. But, he did not know that Yellowstone was using the initiative as a front for his horrific crimes. That scandal destroyed Chris, professionally and personally. ASP finally shut down and all the studios cancelled their contracts with him. He was fired from his ongoing projects. While the court had acquitted Chris of all charges, the media still put him on trial everytime. He couldn't come to face the truth. He blamed himself for what happened to those poor girls. He could have been, should have been more careful in trusting people. But, Yellowstone's charm was such that he could charm the snake into shedding it's skin, and then sell it back to him.

Chris had publically apologized to all the victims and had discreetly offered to pay for their education. While some graciously accepted the offer, understanding that Chris had nothing to do with the scandal, a few others saw it as Chris' attempt to hide his 'alleged' involvement. They approached the media with this story and as expected, the next day his kind gesture was butchered, tainted as a 'cover-up fiasco' by the news outlets.

It had been a year since then. There were no new projects on Chris' desk. Most of the film industry was practising their distance, with only a few loyal friends sticking by his side. His social media accounts lay dormant. There were still a portion of his fans who stood by him, defending him on the internet, but there was a large number of people who even today thought he had to do something with the scandal and was to blame.

Everyday, his remorse ate him alive. Everyday, he felt himself slipping into the abyss and everyday, his motivation to try and reach out for help lessened. Everyday.

Chris' phone pulled him out of his reverie. He saw Scott's name on the screen, asking him to join the family for dinner. Chris looked at the untouched glass of whisky, deciding he was not hungry.

Not tonight.