#i don't think ppl read this but tell me if you want tl see the wips

[nart-is-a-monster]

I'm doing more animations bc I decided to practice more how to read frame thingys and time chard's

They are beating up my ass 100% but

Basically one is varian getting a sailor moon transformation

And the other one Hugo smoking a cigarette

[sternbilder]

ok so today I had one of the most fascinating and enlightening discussions maybe of my life and I need to share bc it blew my MIND (warning: long)

here's the context. there is a friend I have. they are a pretty good friend of mine that I've known for many years now and I appreciate them as a person very much. lately I have noticed that they've been texting me fairly frequently. which, from my point of view, is once every couple of days. not because they had something specific to say, but just saying hello or asking how my day was.

I'm sure this was well-intentioned, but this was starting to get a tiny bit grating for me. we just met up in person literally two days ago! and you had texted me not long before that, too! nothing new has happened since then! my day has been quite boring, actually! I thought, in my mind, as I swiped away the notification—and immediately felt like an awful friend.

I knew from past experience that responding to the message would invite an immediate and not easily escapable conversation that, due to my poor multitasking skills, would distract me from work or require me to context switch away from whatever else it was I was doing at the moment—cooking, doing chores, watching TV—and worse, amount to little more than idle chit-chat about the same boring quotidian complaints as usual. I am not one of those people who thinks they're above small talk or don't see its social value, but I found myself thinking, am I the one who is being not normal here in not enjoying having this specific kind of interaction MULTIPLE times a week with the SAME person?

so recently, I've been finding myself routinely avoiding opening this particular friend's messages for fear of hurting their feelings if they saw that I had left them on read for a prolonged period of time. I had even gone so far as to avoid posting in a group chat in which we're both participants so that they don't realize that I have, in fact, been online, just not responding to them, specifically. my hope was that after enough slow responses, this friend would eventually get the hint and give up on trying to maintain a steady steam of conversation, but somehow this has not worked so far.

this was starting to weigh on my conscience. I realized that I will have to eventually fight my conflict-avoidant tendencies and just confront this friend directly, for the sake of both my sanity and our friendship. but how to do this gently? tactfully? without implying that I don't value their friendship or that I perceive them as needy or annoying? that was the tricky question. because I know that my friend isn't doing anything wrong! if anything it is probably me that is weird and antisocial and I probably just need to work on my social skills!

but not wanting to feel like a total asshole and hoping to go in with an informed and reasonable mindset (knowing full well that my understanding of social norms isn't always the keenest), I asked a different group chat for their opinion, hoping to gain some perspective on what boundaries they generally considered normal and acceptable to exercise. I phrased my question thusly:

how many friends* would you say you have where you text on a regular basis (say, multiple times a week) 1:1 just to say hi, about nothing in particular *explicitly a friend, not a family member or SO

y'all. the responses were eye-opening.

there were four people who participated in this discussion, all four of whom were in different camps and had wildly different experiences:

0, and assumed most others were the same

0, but assumed most others were not the same

multiple, and assumed most others were the same

multiple, but assumed most others were not the same

1 was me; in retrospect, I am realizing that because I had assumed that these kinds of interactions were not typical, I had interpreted my friend's gesture as something much more significant than it probably was in their mind, which is to say something that they just happen to do with everyone they know and like—which created a sort of pressure in my mind not to let them down and caused a sense of intense anxiety when I found myself struggling to reciprocate. I am absolutely floored at the revelation that it is apparently normal and common for people to have MULTIPLE friends (not even partners!!! or family!!!) that they are talking to on a constant ongoing basis at any given time, and at the possibility that I was treating my friend's feelings with kid gloves when it REALLY wasn't that hashtag deep for them.

2 clarified that they never initiate these kinds of chats, but when others initiate with them, they're fairly comfortable with simply letting these kinds of pings go unanswered, assuming the other person will just move on to someone else without taking it personally.

3 confessed to me that they once tried to do something similar with me, and eventually gave up, but had felt a bit hurt and rejected at my lack of enthusiasm, because they assumed that I was doing this with other people, just not them specifically. they sympathized very strongly with my friend.

4 also recalled that they had at one point tried something similar with me, but sort of got that I wasn't one of those people who would be receptive to this style of communication and wasn't particularly bothered by this, agreeing with 2 that the expectation is not that the recipient HAS to respond, and that my friend should probably pay closer attention to the face-saving social cues I was sending by not responding or responding slowly.

but yeah, the takeaway from this conversation is that people's preferences and experiences and expectations when it comes to digital communication are WILDLY varied, and because both communication technology and the social conventions surrounding them are changing CONSTANTLY (just a few examples: are read receipts good or bad? what about typing indicators? online status? are emoji reacts or gifs/stickers an acceptable substitute for an actual reply? group chats vs. 1:1 DMs? synchronicity and formality of various communication methods like email and chat and video? are phone calls are still socially acceptable?) there are either no agreed-on norms or different camps of people have vastly different understandings of what the norms are

among the other highlights/a-ha moments of this discussion:

Friend 4 asked another friend who is even MORE extraverted than they are what their # was and they reported somewhere in the ballpark of 20-40 people in any given week which is absolutely buckwild to me (importantly, all four of us in the original group happen to be software engineers, a class of people notorious for their lack of sociability, so I have no confidence that I have captured a representative sample size even within this particular group—the numbers both 3 and 4 gave were still both in the single digits, though they are definitely the warmest and friendliest of the bunch)

I realized that one difference between me and 3/4 was that we fulfill our social needs quite differently? specifically, I mostly connect with friends over group chats, of which I have a handful that are quite chatty and at least one or two that I'm actively posting in on any given day. I also typically have at least one, often multiple, real-life social plans every week! I am, in fact, very satisfied with my social life, to the point where it is almost maxing out my social quota (especially recently now that I've started dating someone)! but anyway—I find group chats to be my ideal form of day-to-day communication because there's less urgency and pressure for any individual person to contribute if they're not feeling up for it, and ALSO in the case of group chats where at least one member is a straight man (which is the majority of them for me, and I call out straight men only because they are the only demographic I have historically had this issue with) there is less room for platonic interactions to be undesirably misinterpreted as romantic

3/4 expressed that they prefer 1:1 conversations because they feel more personal and they can be more vulnerable about sensitive topics, which I would generally agree with—though in several of my group chats, I personally do feel comfortable enough with all the members to share things about myself with the entire group just by virtue of having known everyone for a long time and having built group camaraderie, but they seemed to not be comfortable with this without having previously established a consistent 1:1 pattern of day-to-day communication (or maybe they meant they were uncomfortable with the group forum itself, even if they were cool with sharing with everyone individually)?

they also expressed that for them, frequent unsolicited checkins and 1:1 attention from a friend would feel exciting/flattering/validating for them, whereas for me it would feel overwhelming, especially if we weren't THAT close

I do use 1:1 DMs also, but for a very different set of use cases: 1) if I haven't caught up with someone in a while (read: weeks or months), in which case we'll often just not text super long and make plans to call or meet in person instead, or 2) if I have something specific to say, like "here's this meme/song/piece of news I think you'd like to see" or "I need advice on X" or "guess what happened that made me think of you" or "I heard X happened, are you OK?"

I found that whereas I have a very clear distinction between communication preferences with a friend (someone I talk to on a regular basis but don't have a constant line of individual communication with) vs. a significant other (more or less willing to do this, unless they preferred not to), such a boundary between a platonic and romantic relationship does NOT exist for all people which boggled my mind

but yes anyway. I am learning so much about the way people view socializing in the digital age and I am so curious to know more and I kind of wish more people talked about this more openly (specifically among friends! because in my experience this is something that is fairly common to sort out explicitly in a romantic context) because I think this is probably the kind of thing that no one talks about because people are either afraid of potentially hurting feelings or everyone is just kind of assuming by default that their takes are universal without realizing that no actually, many people have strong opinions on this that are the polar opposite of theirs

but my gut feeling is that there is a lot of completely unnecessary friction that could just be resolved if only we could agree that it's cool to be more upfront about what our communication preferences are without worrying about that being taken extremely personally by the other party? bc idk, every single person I talked to about this today was like holy shit this was a whole fucking revelation actually, I can't believe I hadn't thought about this before thank you for bringing this up

[loreartisan]

Okay, I've had some time to let my thoughts settle about the River Cartwright/Louisa Guy snippet we saw in the S5 preview and (while I've kind of begrudgingly accepted it) I've come to a conclusion about why I was opposed to it.

For the most part, I've gotten the impression that River is a very very single guy who doesn't really 'go' for women/romantic situations. And to me, this makes sense. I'll elaborate below, if you're curious to see my thought process. If you're one of the ppl who think he really deserves to be with someone, then... idk this is just my own justification. Get ready, I'm going full analytical essay mode here.

Reason 1: He respects boundaries too much. In season 1, when Sid tries telling him the reason she's at Slough House, he tells her that he doesn't want to know since it's likely for personal reasons which is "none of his business". In season 2, when Lamb says that River should 'get' with Kelly if she offers, River is very opposed to this and finds it (rightfully) unethical. In season 3, River tells Louisa that her private life is not Lamb's business and that he shouldn't bring up her "way of processing her trauma". In season 4, he hesitates to share his personal problems with Louisa, emphasizing that he is considerate of "keeping things work related". There are a lot of instances where River shows how he doesn't want to take things beyond what is needed, which to me translates to: friends are all I need.

Reason 2: It's very anti-Bond of him. James Bond is this slick, suave guy who manages to charm every lady he comes across in literally every iteration he's in. One of Bond's most recognizable aspects is how he is always seducing women to get his job done. River is this awkward guy who bumbles most of his social interactions through misunderstandings and sarcasm. Most of River's characterization is on the basis that he thinks he's Bond, but continually proves in many ways how he is the opposite of him. River's relationships with women is another way to telling the audience that he is very far from being the 'perfect' spy that James Bond is.

Reason 3: He's got too much drama around him that renders romance unnecessary. River is likely one of Slow Horse's most intriguing characters, solely based on his family background. The grandson of a legendary spook, the son of an ex-CIA mercenary, the son of a bitter and neglected daughter, the brother to trained assassins who got in trouble with lots of people... There are so many points of interest around River's family alone that I just don't think a romantic plot would benefit his character. It's nice to have rounded, three-dimensional characters, but if a character has too many conflicts and side plots, it can get difficult to keep up with. If I had to choose between the themes of River coming to terms with his family legacy or allowing him to find romance with someone, I'd pick the first option because it seems far more intriguing and has more setup/depth.

There are more subtle reasons here and there, and I know that the book version of River contradicts some of my points, but these are the major aspects behind my pitch for "River should stay single and not be shipped with anyone." I see why he might be shipped with some ppl, but ultimately that is my stance on River's romantic life. His women friends should just stay friends, and I am glad Spider died because that man was TOXIC and i dont know why ppl ship them.

uhhhhh thanks for reading my essay? Hopefully yall see the way I'm thinking (maybe i convinced you to see my side of things too???). Crazy how i did all this based on 0.5 seconds of footage that is likely (in true River fashion) a misunderstanding. Yay for overthinking!

Let me know if my essay was good (was it engaging? was my writing good? did i bring up some dogwater points?), i spent more time on this than I expected but it feels good to air my thoughts out.

TL;DR I am ✨ delusional ✨

[commaclear]

Hi comma

I'm not a minor, but I know there's a lot of minors in tntblr and I've been on the internet long enough to realize way farther down the line that I've been in very unsafe online environments before.

I guess I'm saying this because of the new information that came out about that cc called kwite. I just keep on thinking about how uncomfortable it sometimes makes me to be in the fandom of such a homoerotic ship and know so many fans are probably only 15 years old. It seems to be really safe so far despite that, and the soap opera you have going on in your inbox is hilarious, but I guess I'm just worried that this could change.

I absolutely wouldn't be surprised if you delete this ask, it's pretty uncalled for. I'm sorry. But I guess I'm sending this ask because I'm still a bit younger than you, and wanted to know if you had advice for staying safe in online communities.

Only if you're okay with answering, of course. I really hope this wasn't too upsetting to read. I love your work, and I really hope you get that surgery you've been waiting on soon. Get well <3

I really do worry abt younger ppl in this fandom bc the internet safety things that were common when I was fifteen are becoming less and less common, so I would actually love to list a few

Do not share personal info, especially in your bio or pinned post and especially if it could be used to track you down irl (e.g. which city you live in, where you go to school, pictures of a local library/coffee shop/restaurant, your birthday, pictures of your face)

Tumblr is different from places like Facebook or Instagram because you are under no obligation to tell anyone your real name or show anyone your real face, you can and should embrace internet anonymity here because it's one of the last major websites where you can do so

Just saying you are a minor is enough (and you don't even have to do that, no one is entitled to know how old you are), you don't have to go out and tell everyone exactly how old you are because that opens the door for weirdos

You will know if something makes you uncomfortable, trust yourself and listen to that instinct. Even if you can't explain why a certain person/fic/art made you feel uncomfortable, listen to that feeling. Trust your gut feelings because they will figure out something is bad long before you figure out if goes against your boundaries in some way. Children are taught to ignore gut feelings like that, "Oh, it's not a big deal, go give your creepy uncle a hug or you're gonna hurt his feelings". But especially on the internet, where you can end up in dangerous or traumatizing territory without even realizing it until it's too late, you need to listen to your first instinct.

Just to harp on the above point a bit, if talking to someone makes you feel anxious, if you ever have to hype yourself up before you go to message a certain friend because sometimes the things they say make you feel weird, if talking to someone ever makes you feel weird about yourself or second guess things, if they ever ask you to do something you're not comfortable with (even if it's not at all sexual!! If you're talking to a mutual, and you mention you broke your foot and they ask to see the cast, if that makes you uncomfortable this still applies) If any of that happens, take a step back. Distance yourself from the person who made you uncomfortable for about a week and reassess how you feel. If there have been other times they've made you feel weird or uncomfortable, block them. It is totally okay and even expected to block people on Tumblr for literally any reason. It is always better safe than sorry. If this is the first time they've made you feel weird, explain the situation to them and establish a boundary. If they break that boundary, then it's blocking time. It might seem harsh, but to cultivate a safe online experience, you have to have safe people around you, and safe people respect boundaries 100% of the time.

tl;dr don't share unnecessary personal information with strangers on the internet, and if anyone makes you uncomfortable for any reason, do not hesitate to block them. You don't owe anyone anything.

And as tntblr's appa, I've gotta put this out there. If you feel unsafe in our online space or you're not sure what to do about something making you uncomfortable, then my dms are an open, judgement-free zone. I will do my best to help you out, and at the very least, I'm a pretty good listener. Sometimes all you need is a sanity sounding board.

[cubedmango]

hello idk if you remember but i came to you w my guardian angelsawa AU a few weeks ago!! i Honestly didn't know toyota-sensei had thought of different AU's other than the no magic one, literally until Right after i sent the ask! a lot of them were largely untranslated or just Unknown to me but ppl like you did god's work and made them accessible to english speakers so thank you so much!! with that said i am in love with All of Them (devil adachi goes crazy insane i think. I Am Not Normal About That), and im excited for the fantasy au she's cooking!!

for my guardiansawa au, i still don't have a Comprehensive beginning, middle and end but a fun idea i thought of is kurosawa being able to take on a human appearance? like there are stories of people having flat tires and getting them replaced by strangers who disappear or they never see again, or suddenly being saved by something they never see, etc etc. some people might call it an act of god, but some people will also say "it's like my guardian angel was protecting me/helping me" so i thought it'd be funny if kurosawa takes on a coworker position at the office (not unlike his main canon self) when he goes to work? so adachi could "see" him even though adachi sees him All the Time anyway. though i wonder if this part of the au concept is too like. corny or easy?? LMAO i know i still want some angst in it for sure and i can feel it brewing...i will cook.....

hi again anon!! im glad u could find senseis other aus too theyre so so good, and yeah the devil adachi one is Wild shes a genius w that 😭 im actually tl-ing all the halloween aus rn so hopefully u can read that one properly soon (unless someone else already did it which idk abt so fgjkgj)

also i love that concept omg kjgkjgfkj kurosawa being like the office's urban legend/cryptid who shows up randomly to help ppl (or mostly adachi im assuming) and no one questions why he only shows up sometimes or why they dont recognize him bc theyre too blinded by his dazliness or something.....but adachi seeing him all the time has a lot of potential for funnies like imagine moments where kurosawa intentionally shows up to help and hes all cool and suave and then he disappears and has his typical loser moments not knowing adachi can still see him help kjdkjkfsgd,, the angst tho i am Intrigued pls... tell me more.......

[jenoutof10]

Bro i feel you so much and then they try to deny they used ai art when someone sent them an ask 💀💀 Like… you can just tell when something’s ai generated kinda embarrassing to try to deny it 💀 Also yes 100% the only reason they wanted to be mutuals with me and others is to get more popular 😭 i got weird vibes from them like… u like my blog but… you’ve never read a single work of mine 💀💀💀 math ain’t mathing

right something abt them immediately unfollowing as soon as they don't get what they want is rubbing me the wrong way. U NOT A REAL ONE... be moots with someone bcs u actually enjoy their work or their energy not bcs of their following 🙏

the use of uncredited art and AI art is slightly more annoying when you think about how they're also an aspiring creator. truly not that hard to insert credits or just not use it at all, it's the least u can do when you're reposting other people's works.

the thing about them reblogging smut + making uhm. indecent comments. despite being a minor and stuff? ahem... like... i know you're a teenager but do you really have to put that for the world to see... do you really expect ppl to want to be moots and see that on the TL? LOL

at the end of the day, they're still just a person behind a blog on tumblr that's trying to get their work out so i'm not trying to actively hate on them or anything, i just hope they fix some stuff 🙏

[haleigh-sloth]

What do you think of ppl saying MHA recently 'fell off' and the story's going in a 'less interesting direction'? I seen some say Hori is either rushing the story or reiterating story points that have already been established, when those exact same people want to dehumanize the LOV and relegate the villains to 'psychopaths who can't be saved so they need to be put down'. It's just funny to me that people say the story fell off when this was ALWAYS the direction the manga was going like??

Sigh

Well I'm gonna be very very general here and completely ignore the reality of the fandom and only explain what I've seen myself, and divide the fandom into three broad categories:

People who just read for fun and are just along for the ride, taking whatever comes as it may, and don't particularly care about what happens

People who read the story and analyze the fuck out of it trying to deep dive into the art and dialogue and figure out what's going to happen next and what certain things mean, AND care very deeply about the direction the story is taking

And then people who read the story and follow it closely, AND care very deeply about the direction the story takes, BUT don't bother to think very hard about what they're reading because they expect it to be spoon fed to them

You can probably tell which category I'm about to talk shit about lol

The only people I have seen say that the writing has taken a downturn or "fell off" are people who either are finding out that their takes and predictions are wildly wrong and canon has not upheld their theories, opinions of the characters, and the themes, OR people who focused on certain parts of the story and are upset that those parts aren't getting focus here in the final stretch.

I included that last sentence because I've seen some blogs that I used to typically agree with on many fronts (and some not, but still have decent takes on occasion) be very upset with the story as of late. And to each their own! Everyone is of course entitled to their opinion! But based on the people I'm referring to who are saying these things, I'm honestly not sure what their reasons could be for saying that about the story aside from.....they just aren't getting focus where they want it. Idk.

But the obvious group of readers that I think are saying this shit are the people who were so hellbent on having a basic bitch story (which btw, BNHA is kind of basic as it entails every typical shounen trope in existence almost) that doesn't explore complicated, complex, morally grey areas and just focused on fights, badass moves and action scenes, and having a power fantasy character lead the way to the ending. I don't have a presence on twitter (for a reason) but the people I see say this crap are primarily the people on twitter who say some of the most outlandish things that I wonder if they're actually even looking at the same manga panels that I am lol.

Basically, TL;DR: People who were so sure that the story would take a certain direction are now finding that their takes were wrong and are mad about it, so they have to defend their past opinions by saying that the "writing is bad". When in actuality, many many people called the current state of the story from a million miles away (I literally.....thought ALL of this shit would happen the second I saw the mall scene, literally), and therefore I'd say it's hard to call it bad writing when everything necessary in the story for the current chapters has BEEN THERE the whole time. And many, many people called it.

Yeah that's my salty rant lol

[writingissues]

🌞💖🧠 for the fic ask game? I hope you have a wonderful day!

Thank you!! I hope you have a wonderful day as well!!

🌞Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

At night usually when I know im not gonna be bothered.

💖What made you start writing?

Attention. I remember seeing my sister show my mom her poetry when I was like 12 or 13? And got jealous bc ah....I was kinda forgotten bc of family issues and was left to myself a lot so I thought if I wrote I would get attention. (I wasn't neglected but my sister was super rebellious and my younger brother is special needs so they just took priority I understand that now.)

And it ended up becoming a release for emotions during my teenage years when my depression and anxiety began showing itself. Which did get me the attention I craved at first but didn't want since my poems were very edgy and emo and made ppl worry to which my mom said "I don't wanna read your writing anymore." Which I get now bc it was depressing but that kinda lead to me hiding my writing. So the only ppl that see it now is internet ppl lol and I don't write poetry anymore anyway.

Which again started writing fanfic around 17 bc it looked fun and again I wanted attention.

Tl;Dr I crave attention and validation.

🧠Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon of them.

My mind is going blank lmao so imma just list various ones

I enjoy the demi/ace hc for Byleth

I like the hc that Edelgard has scars all over her body from the experimentations.

I also like the HC that saints (sans Flayn) are directly born from Sothis like Rhea is confirmed to be. instead of born from her other children. So basically Rhea has 4 older brothers. I think it makes the dynamic interesting especially with how Macuile and Indeach checked out and Seteth was isolated with sleeping!Flayn until pretty recently. Which left Rhea to her own devices for a long time.

I read a theory about Sothis being an alien? And that was pretty interesting.

Idk if it's a HC but I like the idea that Seteth has always been kinda overprotective its just the ramped up to a million after the war and losing his wife and almost Flayn.

I also HC that Flayn is pretty protective of Seteth also despite being annoyed with his protectiveness lol. Like she pretty much saw her mother die. She's just better at keeping it in control.

I also like the HC that probably outside CF that Byleth is able to collect all the relics and put them in the holy tomb.

I also hc in CF that Byleth experiences a lot of mixed emotions after losing her divinity, since it was her last connection to Sothis, she mourns even if none of her students are able to sympathize or understand.

That's all I can think of rn lol.

Writing emotions ask prompt

[dangerous-disposition]

my mag172 #thots i will not be swayed from

The tl;dr version:

Fuck the web

Fuck Web!Martin theories (like i cannot even properly articulate why i hate this theory so much now, and I used to subscribe to it)

And fuck Annabelle Cane, I literally hate her with my entire being.

As a recovering addict, I would say... this is the best episode of the show, and I will also never, ever listen to it again.

Now the long version below the cut.

So I hate the Web, and I hate Annabelle Cane. To me, the other fears make sense on a primal human level. The Web is just...pure evil. It was born from the choices of evil people, and is only used for evil. Plain and simple. It is, at it’s core the worst fear and I hate it. There is nothing anyone can say that will make me not hate it.

Because of point number one, I refuse to believe in or subscribe to literally any Web!Martin theory. At all. Listen, MAG170 killed Web!Martin theories completely, imho, and any amount of theorizing in favour of Web!Martin is grasping at straws. But I refuse to believe that my perfect boy, who spent the entire time in the Lonely defending his abuser, who busted his own ass out of the Lonely bc he was in love would be part of something as evil as the Web. Like I just....I feel like there was no way to have had an episode, completely from the POV of Martin, and not gotten any spoken hint at him being even remotely connected to the Web. Just. No.

The argument at the beginning, if you could call that an argument: I have noticed, especially in recent episodes, that Jon seems influenced by the domain and especially the “statement giver” before he even begins his monologue. Like...kinda showing how the forced Knowing creeps up on him? This theory of mine has been in the back of my mind since MAG168 but I don’t know how to fully explain it because it just fully formed in my head after this episode. Something changed after Oliver’s statement, just like it did in Season 1, and again at the beginning of Season 4. In MAG170, Jon got separated from Martin, and I feel like...Jon wouldn’t have just....left Martin behind, even by accident, even during a monologue and I just...I feel like, to some degree, Jon had been at least a little bit influenced by the Lonely and got separated that way. And then in the Flesh, approaching Jared, Jon was confused that Martin didn’t find the flesh flowers beautiful, and the way he said it...it struck me as a very Jared thing to say. And then the way Jon talked in this episode, the way Jon got defensive and sniped at Martin just....it was very similar in feeling to Francis’ own words being mirrored back to them by the spider. Just....i’m not sure where I’m going with this, or even if it has sound basis in canon. It’s just been a pattern I’ve noticed but it was made clearer to me now.

I refuse to see that final interaction with Martin and Jon as anything other than two frustrated and exhausted men trudging through the apocalypse, and whatnot. Like I can just hear the absolutely lukewarm takes ppl will have and just. Nah, leave me out of it.

Loved the explanation about Knowing vs. Understanding.

Also loving Jon and Martin still discussing boundaries, and Martin has a right to said boundaries, and I’m getting where he’s coming from in now wanting to know, or for Jon to Know. I think I would be the same, not wanting to know if my feelings for someone or choices were my own or made for me, especially if I had gone through as much as Martin has. I rly did not see this as an omen of any kind, especially with them having that conversation in the middle of the Web’s domain.

This episode was hard. I’m recovering from alcoholism, I’ve recovered from cigarette addiction repeatedly, and also struggle with binge eating disorder which is often treated the same way as an addiction would in therapy. I relate to Francis as a recovering addict, and I thought this episode did an amazing job in illustrating addiction, and relapse, and the little ways addicts get undermined and undermine themselves in the recovery process. I don’t think this episode compared addiction to being a monster, nor do I think it downplayed the mental illness aspect of addiction. I made a post earlier about how these statements are mad with heavy bias, especially during the apocalypse, and they’re about fear. Recognizing that addiction is a mental illness and showing it as such does not translate fear, and if it did, I feel like that would be more the Corruption’s domain than any others. The Web is about not being in control, it’s about not having a choice or free will, it’s about feeling trapped by the choices you once made and are unable to make choices that contradict those. With addiction, that is a very real feeling. You can tell me all day that it’s mental illness, it’s rooted in depression or anxiety or whatever, and all you have to do is treat that cause and address it blah blah blah. I know. We know. But when you’re struggling with a relapse, or a near-relapse, it does not feel like you’re in control, it does not feel like you are driving your own body. It feels like someone else is behind the wheel, and you hate that person, and you are terrified of that person. That person is ruining your life and you feel like you cannot fucking stop them. But then you do! You can do it. And a lot of us succeed, and I feel like if the world hadn’t ended, Francis would be doing okay. Just like I’m doing okay. And the countless other recovering addicts I know. But in a fictional world, where our fears are actual entities, with physical avatars doing their bidding everywhere, in an apocalyptic hellscape where the fears EXIST ON OUR PLANE of reality, where people are forced to live through their greatest fears forever.

Idk, i just thought this was a really good episode and I’m debating blacklisting TMA until next week lmao.

I just wanted to add this bc I rly don't want ppl to eventually come at me about their personal experiences w addiction and just... Jonny confirmed that he wrote this episode from his own experiences as an addict and his fears regarding addiction, plus that season 5 is about fear not truth so.

Read the following tweets before trying to push your experiences as the "truer" experience or whatevs I've already been seeing.

[bioethicists]

I wanted to share with you an annoying post, but its probably better to not link it. I don't want anybody to take this personally. But anyway,

Why is everything a "symptom of depression"?! Why do so many people accept whatever any randon psychiatrist/psychiatric nurse tells them as a fact?!

These beliefs ('doing this regular thing, that many people do, is a symptom of a """mental illness"""') are so popular it's terrifying. Once you notice how popular those silly psychiatric/psychological theories are, it's hard look past it but there's also nothing you can do about it. not only are those theories popular, they are presented as facts. you don't have to post this, have a great day.

yes i definitely agree! i think, as someone who comes from a lineage of trauma where really horrifying beliefs were normalized to the point where nobody in my family has any clarity, that there's a lot of value to learning what is "normal"- not "normal" as in "you should be like everyone else" but "normal" as in "you were taught this because someone was hurting you but it's not something you need to believe in order to move safely through the world and many many many ppl move safely through the world without this belief or behavior" so i definitely relate to having the experience of learning online that something i thought was universal was actually a cause or sign of suffering

but it is so frustrating to see people either a) learning they have a belief or habit that isn't common (altho they may have been taught it was) and could be causing or caused by suffering or b) being told that a normal variation in human experience is a sign of pathology. because i don't actually see it HELPING people- i see it continuously swelling the ranks of people who assign every quirk, behavior, and thought they have to a designated illness and even experience distress when they behave outside of how they believe they SHOULD for that illness (this is a powerful force- as a teenager, the themes and intensity of my abuse-induced hallucinations shifted DRAMATICALLY as a result of what i read online about psychosis and my eating disorder slowly morphed into the picture perfect dsm dx of anorexia in response to repeated failed treatment attempts).

i see a lot of value in encouraging ppl to question the reasons WHY they do things or believe certain things, and i also believe that little gestures can be mirrors of suffering on a PERSONAL level- there are many small, inconsequential things which i do in part because i am a control freak and constantly anxious, and those have significance for me despite not being "diseased" behaviors in and of themselves, like not eating bfast or feeling compelled to fill an entire page of my journal each time i write + writing only on the right side. but the medicalization of suffering has escalated to a degree where i can't just say "i personally feel the need to fill this journal page because i am worried otherwise it will be 'wrong', but other ppl might do it for different reasons", i HAVE to have a clinical reason for why i do this because otherwise i don't have an "reason" for my abnormality, so it becomes "i have to fill this journal page because i have PTSD/ADHD and that means this is a symptom of those things which is universal because all mental illnesses, being diseases, are roughly the same" also like... it weirdly switches the order of operations? i am diagnosed with ADHD because of the ways i think and behave- i do not think and behave a certain way BECAUSE of the ADHD- I have generated this dx through my experience, the dx has not generated my self, if that makes sense?

ugh i wish i could answer asks without going on tangents but yes, this frustrates me a lot because i think it is ultimately harmful for everyone but also i think there's this weird attitude of "you aren't SICK ENOUGH to have what i have you stupid posers... thinking you're depressed just because you can't finish your homework" which is still just validating the exact line of thinking which has caused this phenomenon. nothing has to be a "symptom" of anything to be worth appreciating and assigning significance to! you don't have to shove all of your behaviors and thoughts and memories in between the lines of dsm criterion! there is no need to universalize your experiences of suffering in order for them to matter!

tl;dr psychiatric diagnoses are labels placed on groups of experiences (this is why anti psychiatry is not about questioning the experiences, but the reasoning, utility, and power behind how they are labeled), not symptom machines which CAUSE all of your thoughts and behavior. it's very frustrating to see people attempt to recast any deviation in human behavior or frankly, even just standard, normal shit as CAUSED by objective, locatable illnesses, reinforcing the idea that no abnormality or suffering can exist outside of a disease state.

[lesbiancarat]

Oohh true, true! Plus we do have the comeback soon so that also means it won't be very soon? It has gotten very confusing very fast thats for sure lol but your post did confirm and clear things up. I'm curious to see how it will play out, we have the new series which is not related to the new comeback but its own thing. Maybe it will tell a story? That would be interesting to see! As for the solos, we all thought side by side would be apart of it so it seems to be more random per se? We can only wait and see!

Lol I'm not alone with tbe app buying then haha but oohh yeah I also noticed that! I think Amazon used to not have the choice of picking which version for some albums so to see other stores give that option is nice! Im guessing the ones from western stores are cou ted to billboard more than Korean charts based on when bts and nct sold their albums in the states so that is good! You are helping them chart in some way (also a daily reminder to fans to please don't stress about streaming! I know we're not at the comeback just yet but please have fun with the comeback!)

*hugs you* thank you! I am going tl try to power up the game tonight and play a lil bit (wish me luck. Game can be tricky lol) I feel like once I complete the game, it will be my proper goodbye to her in a way. Indeedy, sadly what happened did happen. As much as I would like to turn back time, we have to move on. Of course healing however we can, keeping yourself positive and just keep swimming as it was said in finding Nemo lol (ignore the cheese) she was a happy bunny, a rascal as well like oh my gosh hdjabxjs she LOVED causing chaos but it made things fun! That's what's important! Remember all the happy times not the sad ones. I wheezed xD rip the papers in the house. My bunny was the same though she preferred to chew on cables, specifically headphones like I lost 4 pairs from her and she always was able to find them even if I hid them away from her on my bed lol. I swore she had some gps for headphones haha. Thats a sweet frame your mom made! Also your new meow meow, sending good vibes your way! Looks like a very cuddly cat to me in that pic

Ps happy 6 years with the 13 beans!! :D here's to amazing more memories! Hopefully we can be fans for as old as Gandalf haha. Also I read other asks about enlistment and my oh my, I never thought it was THAT quick for the boys!! Like it never clicked to me until now

yeah, we probably won't see another TTT solo until after Your Choice promotions have died down ;-; in regard to Power of Love my prediction is that it's more theme based rather than one story, bc that's how SVT tend to do things like how heng:garae, semicolon, and hitorijanai were all a part of Svt's "youth" theme, but this time the "love" theme is more official? or maybe not more official but just marketed more obviously dhfj but who knows! maybe SVT will switch it up and have a storyline for this project ^^ and i think the TTT solos aren't necessarily random, it's more just with jun and minghaos things are a bit different since they already release solos marketed toward the Chinese market (even though side by side had a kr version). like i think it's possible that jun and minghao had their solos in the works before they came up w the concept of TTT and the release just happened to line up with spider/the start of TTT. so i guess what I'm saying is china line are the only ones that might get confusing, i think if solos get announced for other members they'll likely be part of TTT

and yeah it looks like sales from most if not all of the US retailers are gonna count toward the billboard charts! i think i also saw there was one place that would count toward billboard and one of the kr charts too but i can't remember specifics. if you/anyone wants me to look into what retailers count for which charts just let me know and I'll look into it ^^

good luck with your game! i know you sent this yesterday so you probably already played some of it but i hope it went well!! but omg a GPS for headphones DHFKGJ your bunny sounds really cute even if she was a bit mischievous :')

yes happy 6th anniversary!! i haven't been around the whole time but it's still so hard it's been so long. and yes hopefully we'll all be together with SVT for a long time, here's to hoping that one caratland skit of SVT as old men will come true DHFKFJ

and yeah not a lot of ppl have started talking about Svt's enlistment yet djfkfj tbf it is still somewhat early, i think carats are right to focus on the present for the time being rather than counting down the days. i just randomly thought of it :')

[istheresomebodywhocanimagine]

Hey, I don't know if it's too late for any ships; if it is I'm extremely sorry for bothering you. I was just wondering if you could see me shipped with any of the BohRap guys. I'm an 18 year old Indian girl, currently stuck in college. I have medium length dark brown hair and I wear spectacles. I absolutely love Queen, football (not the American one) 80s teen movies and reading Agatha Christie. Your posts are something I always look forward to. 💕

absolutely! i’ll put your ship below the cut even tho its just one - dont want to spam everyones tl hehe

I ship you with Gwilym Lee! (whew these new gifs of him from the robin hood thing..... could i be turning into a gwilym girl??? also, i make heart eyes whenever i see a gif is from @mazzelloplots​ - as someone wise on the tl said, the devil works hard but ppl who create gifs work harder)

I think you two would work so well together, even with the age difference. Gwilym is such a softy, and he’d definitely worry about your age difference at first, but I don’t think he could stay away from you after long - your intellect paired with your knowledge about Agatha Christie and 80′s movies would be too enticing to pass up.

And although Gwil is more of a rugby guy, he still likes to watch football with you, and even goes to matches with you and Ben, who was your go-to for all things football-related.

Actually, Ben was the reason you met Gwilym in the first place. You’d been friends with Ben for years because of your families, and you were watching a football match at Ben’s house when Gwilym Facetimed him. Ben’s phone was on the counter in the kitchen with you, while he was out in the living room, eyes glued to the TV.

You recognized the face as someone he was working with on BoRhap, and raised an eyebrow as Ben gave a noncommittal grunt from the couch. “Who is it?”

“That Welsh Wanker?” you read out his contact name, Ben snorting and not taking his eyes off the game before waving dismissively.

“You can answer it. Tell him I’ll be there in a moment.”

Taking a deep breath, you hit the green button and answered the call, smiling a bit uncomfortably as the Welsh Wanker’s face filled up the screen, clearly not recognizing you either.

“Er, hello,” he greeted awkwardly, giving you a small smile and glancing between his phone and what seemed to be the road. It looked like he was driving and using a car mount to Facetime Ben. “Is Ben around? Did I call the wrong number? Don’t remember having your number in my phone, think I’d remember your face.”

“No, right number,” you laughed at the muted flirtation from him, walking out to the living room with the phone before plopping down on the couch next to Ben. You showed Gwilym the screen of the TV before panning to Ben, whose eyes were glazed over with focus.

“Ah,” Gwilym laughed, recognizing the football match and shaking his head. “Well, will you please tell him he promised we’d go out for drinks tonight? I’m a couple blocks from his flat and he’d better be ready.”

“Fat chance of that, mate,” Ben snorted, half-listening to Gwilym while he kept his eyes on the screen. “We can have drinks here, on me.”

“How very thoughtful,” you teased, getting a laugh out of the man on the phone. It was a heart laugh, one that was contagious, and you laughed with him as you handed the phone to Ben, who took it reluctantly.

“Well, I’ll be in after a few moments, then,” the Welsh man assented, hanging up with a quick goodbye. When there was finally a knock on the door, Ben groaned as he realized you weren’t going to answer his door too. When he returned from the door, a tall, moderately toned and unbelievably handsome man was in tow, smiling in recognition when he saw you and reaching out his hand when he took up residency in the seat adjacent to the couch. “Sorry I didn’t catch your name on the phone, I’m Gwilym, and you are?”

Taking his hand, you smiled in response and only rolled your eyes a bit when Ben made noises of teasing mockery at the unwavering way Gwilym stared at you. “I’m Y/N, sorry about all of this. I kind of stole Ben for the night, our team’s playing.”

“Oh, you follow football?” Gwilym asked, retracting his hand and forcing himself to tear his eyes away from you.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s a bigger fan than me,” Ben interjected, and you had to agree with that, shrugging and grinning sheepishly. 

The rest of the night, Gwilym chatted back and forth with you, and he was delighted to find out you were a big 80′s movies fan. Although he couldn’t say they were his absolute favorites, he did grow up on quite a few of them, so for someone your age to express interest in them was quite intriguing to him. 

So intriguing, that you ended up planning a movie night together. Following that, you had a plethora of movie nights, Gwilym showing you all kinds of 80′s teen movies you hadn’t even heard of, as well as ones you dearly loved already. And when a nearby theater was briefly showing Say Anything, he took that perfect opportunity to ask you to be his girlfriend in his terribly rambling, convoluted way of saying it.

In fact, he sounded like he was about to have a panic attack.

“Look, I’m just as concerned about the age thing as anyone else, I mean, the tabloids are going to go nuts for this, but as long as you don’t care, I don’t care. And I don’t want you to feel pressured int-”

“Gwilym?” you cut him off, raising an eyebrow as the credits started to roll, people exiting the theater in the dim light and giving no particular attention to the two of you. Gwilym’s arm was around your shoulder, holding you protectively, and your hand was on his knee - to the untrained eye, you looked like any other couple in the theater. “What are you trying to say?”

After a deep sigh, he laughed a bit at himself and scratched his head for a moment, then gave you a charming, bashful smile. “Will you be my girlfriend? Please?”

Grinning widely, you just stared at him for a moment before nodding, and his body visibly deflated in relief as he leaned in for a quick, chaste kiss that still made you momentarily dizzy. When he pulled away, you gazed up at him almost dreamily, and his eyes reflected the same look, although there was still a hint of worry.

“You’re sure you don’t mind the age difference?”

“Gwilym, stop it with the age thing!” you laughed, giving his leg a gentle pat before you stood up, stretching a bit as you waited for him to join you. “The only thing I’d mind is if this turned into some sort of Our Love Is God/Jason Dean type thing, which I seriously don’t see you pulling. I think you’d crumble into pieces before you could even try to lie to me about German bullets.”

“Hey! Give me some credit, I’m an actor!”

“You’re not helping your case, Gwil. The point is that you shouldn’t be Jason.”

[kewltie]

Hello! I stumbled across your short stories recently on ao3. And I have to say, you are a gifted storyteller. I don't mean to be rude here, and forgive me if I am overstepping my boundaries, but have you ever thought of getting someone to beta your work? Although your stories themselves are well thought out and creative, I think if you had a beta they could catch little mistakes (grammar, spelling) to make your works more polished and even more amazing!

hi anon!!!

i thought a lot about how i can formulate a reply to this ask so it doesn’t sound 1) unappreciative 2) rude af 3) or that i don’t care bc i can see you were very careful and concern about upsetting me and i really do appreciate you going out of your way to give me advice!!! that’s very kind of you, thank you!!!! but honestly getting a beta is not a priority to me. it’s actually something i rarely or at all consider and not bc i dont recognized my own weakness (grammar is my BIGGEST WEAKNESS IN MY WRITING) but mainly it’s bc i dont have time and patience to have a beta reader. 

my work schedule is hectic and sporadic at best plus i have school so i find time in the weirdest hours to write. this mean writing into the late morning at 3-5am and occasionally pulling an all nighter to finish a fic or im writing just before work (like literally i HAVE been tardy so many times to work BC IM POSTING A FIC RIGHT THE FUCK NOW). when i finish something i immediately do a quick read through for errors but when you read something a hundred times before it’s hard to see it with fresh eyes before it go live. and i always post it right away just after i finished it bc i want to get it out of my life (lmao). SO yea i can’t imagine having a beta reader at all when im pretty much writing and pushing it out live as i go. also bc writing is a solo grind for me bc any problem i run into and anything i can’t figure out i just grind the fuck out of it until i solve it bc of my inability to ask for help and i am just socially awkward and terribly shy with ppl to ya know approach them about it. 

and my whole history with the english language is uh terrible (i get really sensitive when ppl point out im not a native speaker) bc it’s my fav subject (next to history!!) but during school i moved from esl classes to english honors and then back to els again constantly bc i love talking about theme, nuance, and breaking down the books we were assigned but IM SO TERRIBLE at getting my thought across in essay format and my grammar was so atrocious that i get c/d often bc i never care about writing or learn how to do it. IT’S THE STORY that matter to me more which is why i read a ton of shit and when you said im a gifted storyteller that made my day bc i loooooooooooooove telling stories the most (it’s the core of who i am) and writing is the consequence of that not bc i uh actually love writing from the beginning (i may love writing but not THEN). i had so many stories to tell but how do i tell it??? YOU WRITE IT ofc. so yea, i write only bc i have stories i want to put down and i spent years and years running away from it bc i always been weak at the most basic grammar and syntax that make up the bare bones of the english language and my fear kept me from writing, from telling the stories i want to tell. 

in the end it took kpop fandom and A DUDE NAME LEE DONGHAE to finally kicked that fear in the ass and i started to write. and i told myself back six (??) years ago that i would only write for myself and not for anything/anyone else so yea im aware of my weakness but im not looking to like impress anyone or stand out with my writing bc in the end if that’s not what i want than i dont really want to pursue it. writing is a hobby and it’s hobby that uh constantly stress me out (lol) so i really dont want add anything else to on top of that. like i understand having a beta reader would be nice to catch my mistakes and make it more readable for everyone (though i do try to do my best with proofreading but IM SO BAD AT IT) but im not really looking for self improvement on that front and my self-esteem is too fragile for me to trust anyone with it (i get hurt really, REALLY easily so i try not to put myself out there as possible) lol /o\. since 99% of my writing is just a hobby so i dont really care what other ppl think unless i really FUCKED up on something content wise but if im writing for a fest/exchange/fandom event thing im more careful about it and i think i would get a beta reader just bc im writing for someone else or for the fandom to consume like this writing bkdk fest i signed up for. i think im going to get a beta reader for it… but we’lll see if i chicken out or not lol. 

ANYWAY tl;dr i really do appreciate your advice!!!!! but i can’t commit to a beta reader right now bc of time, energy, self-esteem issue, and weird af schedule but i’ll keep that in mind for more serious future projects. thank you!!!!!

[mooosicaldreamz]

(1) help! i don't know if i'm gay or not!! i don't have anyone to talk about this so im so sorry to dump it on you. you might not even answer this and that's ok bc i can't expect you to feel comfortable in answering. i won't be offended. i just need someone to read this. i read so much wlw fanfiction. i feel so comfortable being in fandoms that support wlw. when i masturbate i see myself as the guy pleasuring the girl.

(2) that line in your latest fic “animal” really stuck out to me, the one where lena was in the club and she goes “there was no disgust, only wonder.” that line is how i feel towards the lgbtq community. i have a few gay friends but i feel like im supposed to have more to be considered a “true member.” i feel like im a fraud bc i don’t dress like a gay person bc i don’t even know what that means. but i love being around women. i want to be around women for the rest of my life.

(3) i feel more comfortable around women than i do men. i’ve had a boyfriend in the past and that was not a good experience and ive been told i can’t jump to conclusions just because of one boy. i always want to kiss a girl and be with a girl but i feel like my attraction isn’t valid bc i haven’t been with a girl ever before. im so fucking shy. it sounds strange to say but i feel so goddamn ugly. too ugly for any girl to want to be with me. i just want to know that im not crazy.

(4) sorry for the spam! tl;dr, i feel in my heart of hearts that women have a special priority in my life that i just can’t put into words. i just don’t know how i fit in with the lgbtq community or if they’ll accept me, because i don’t “look” gay and i don’t have a lot of gay friends. if i want women to be my priority in life, does that make me a lesbian? gay? i like men bc sometimes they’re pretty, but that’s it. what the fuck does this mean? i’m terrified of being wrong about myself.

(5) for now i have no label for myself. i’m not straight. but i don’t even know if i’m allowed to be gay. thanks for reading. i know this was a lot. i don’t want to feel so confused anymore. i reached out to you bc i love the way you wrote lena’s journey in the “animal” fic. i feel like i have a lot of wonder for the lgbtq community as of now, but i’m dying to know if i have a place there or not.

i’m going to break down my response into little digestible numbered chunks which are hopefully somewhat helpful/reassuring

1) okay first i think i’d probably like to say that i am by no means an authority on what it means to be gay or bi or in general of the community~ so you know. don’t take me as word of god or anything.

2) you don’t have to know if you’re gay or not. when i was about 16 i started reading wlw fanfiction and realized i was like……super into it and it spiralled out from there for me. i’ve known ppl who have known they were for certain gay or bi since they were 10 and i’ve known ppl who’ve figured it out in their 20s and 30s. you don’t HAVE to know a damn thing. and it’s okay if you’re not gay too. people grow and change throughout the entirety of their lifetime and you have time to figure yourself out always and forever.

3) there are no rules to being gay (there are also no rules to being straight), so you don’t have to be a certain way ever and if anyone tells u you have to be then they’re stupid. you don’t have to dress a certain way or act a certain way to be anything. you can be you. you don’t have to fit into an exact category to be gay. you don’t have to have gay friends to be gay either. when i was working thru my major identity issues while i was a teenager, i didn’t know anyone who was gay either. there’s no rules in this way.

4) you don’t have to have been with a girl, either - theoretically, at some point, every gay woman has never been with a girl, but that doesn’t mean that who they are and how their attractions work aren’t valid. the very existence of your feelings mean that they exist and are valid. if anyone tells you you can’t be gay because you’ve never been with a girl tell me their address and i will punch them.

5) people who say that you shouldn’t base your opinion on dating dudes on one experience are stupid and are misunderstanding the root issue. if you want to date dudes, date dudes, and if you don’t, then don’t. that’s how simple it is. if you want to date women, then date them. you don’t have to have an exact label. just do you.

6) on a similar note, i can’t label you for you because that would be dickish! it sounds to me like you’re struggling with your identity and i support you exploring and understanding yourself. idk if you wanting women to be a priority in life means that you’re gay because only you can define that for yourself. ftr, i also think dudes are pretty. i would maybe date one 1 out of 10 times, but i still pretty much define myself as gay. and that’s cool. 

7) i want to address specifically your sentence "i’m terrified of being wrong about myself” because i really truly believe that no one can be wrong about themselves. you are yourself, you are the one who gets to make the rules about you and what you are and who you are going to be. you literally cannot be wrong. there are stupid ppl in this world who might tell you you have to be a certain way to be any one thing, but that is false. you can be what you are. that’s that. for real. i know i sound like a fuckin self-help book but i don’t care, it’s the facts. i understand about societal pressures and shit but when it comes to your mind and body, you are the owner of you. so you can’t be wrong about it.

8) you are super allowed to be gay. there’s no test. no one checks you at the door at pride and makes sure you fit in.

9) it’s okay to be confused. i, a person who has been pretty aware of my interests since i was 15, am still confused. you don’t have to know everything about yourself before you let yourself try something. in fact, there’s a likelihood you won’t know a damn thing until you try. i recently learned that i like red peppers! i thought for YEARS that i hated red peppers. i thought for a long time that dating a girl would be weird and uncomfortable because i thought - stupidly - that dating a girl would just be different than what love or dating was supposed to be. and it’s not. i tried it and i like it and i’m happy. but you also don’t have to like it once you try it.

10) the tldr version of my response to your questions is this: you can be you, whatever that is. you don’t have to fit a label or pass a test. it’s okay to be uncertain and anxious and confused; there are tons of people who have gone through things like what you’re going through. i’m one of them. so don’t be afraid. there is a place for you in the lgbtq community if you want a place. 

i have NO idea if that was helpful. but for real, i’m with you and support you, okay? you are valid whatever way you are. 

[moiraineswife]

so i really wanna start writing this nessian long fic but i'm so afraid bc there's so many talented writers in this fandom like you and i just don't know if anyone will like it or even read it idek any advice for people like me who are hesitant to start writing fic for this fandom (or any fandom really)??

Okay okay okay (I suck at advice but I will try okay okay trying:) 

So first things first if you have a thing inside your head that you want to write write it. Get it out of your head. It is doing you no good in there (well okay it kinda is because story ideas are fun to sit and imagine and that’s nice) but it’s even better putting it down on paper!!! Set the idea freeee. Seriously. If you have that itch to write give in to it. It’s a rare enough thing that it should be cherished and indulged in when it deigns to appear. In short: JUST WRITE THE THING!!!! 

The second part of that is posting the thing. Which you do not have to do. You can just write things for you, you know? In fact I think that’s the better way (and it’s Hard, dude, I know it is, because sometimes you’re just like....could ppl pls shower me with love it makes me want to keep writing (one nice comment will power my scribbling for days I know how it goes)) but these ideas are yours and you should own them and enjoy them just for you. Just because it feels good to have written this thing and put your ideas out there whether other people respond to them or not. 

Posting fic is scary af I still don’t like it (I scuttle off to bed...pretty much as soon as I’ve posted whatever it is I’m posting I GET IT DUDE) but it’s also a lot of fun? Most of the awesome people I’ve met through fandom I’ve met through fic too; it gets people talking and that’s good. This fandom is actually pretty responsive towards fic in that...I think a solid 70-80% of them actually read it/go looking for it/interact with it in some way and that’s really cool? So if this is your starting point it’s good!!! 

Also okay, I’m blatantly ripping this off from some post or other I have seen floating around this website but it’s like. Fic authors and fic readers see their fic in very different ways. Fic authors look at their fic and then they look at someone else’s fic and they do this: :( because that person’s writing is so much better than mine, their fics are so much better, I will never be as good as them I should just not even try. Fic readers look at other people’s fic and they go: :O Fic readers look at your fic and they go: :O Fic readers look at fics and are like omg a giant juicy chocolate cake and a glorious cheesecake. Different cake is still cake and all cake is good (the original post explained this so much better than me I’m just like...pointing that out in case it needed to be said) 

The point is that no fic reader in the universe reads one fic and really likes it then goes and reads another fic and likes it a little bit better and then right, well, that last one was obviously garbage. I’m not bothering with them anymore what’s the point. I have found it. This is the one. This is the ultimate fic. We have found The One And Only fic author in this fandom we are ever going to read we don’t need any others, we don’t want any other fic ever because we have this one and it is perfect and what is the point of any of the other ones? Fic readers are like omg someone has written a fic of my otp! Omg someone else has written a fic of my otp! omg they’re both amazing I’m going to read them both 16 times and drown in them. 

Fandom isn’t a competition, producing fanworks isn’t a competition either (listen I am aware this shit is difficult to actually take in okay I’M AWARE BELIEVE ME)  But I think if you love something enough that you have all these ideas for it and you want to write them you should write them. and then if you want to post them and share them with people you should do that too? 

I mean...Maybe you will post it and...maybe no-one will read it or like but....I mean atm you just don’t know? At the moment no-one can read it or like it or love it because it hasn’t been written yet?? So I can’t tell you that people will love it but I can tell you that no-one will while it’s stuck inside your head, you know? 

But, I don’t know, I suppose, if you can drag anything out of this quagmire of wiffle it’s that...If you care about something enough that you want to write it you should do that. At least try. Stick your pen on a piece of paper and see what happens. Maybe it goes nowhere and you can’t get through it. Maybe you write 10k in a night and fall in love. But just sort of hovering here in limbo all that’s going to happen is eventually that idea will fade away and maybe one day you’ll be sad that you didn’t just...try to see what might come of it? 

TL;DR: Write the thing. You have enough of a passion to want to write, don’t ignore that. Post the thing if you feel able to once you’ve written the thing. What’s the worst thing that can happen if you try?? 

[ubercharge]

hey dave. don't answer this if you don't want to bc this might start discourse but I know you're Chinese so I wanted to ask you. do you find the new overwatch update offensive at all? I'm white so I know jack shit about it. I saw a post calling it offensive (I took it lightly bc I know how ppl on this website can be) but then a Chinese person reblogged the post and said they totally disagreed about the event being offensive and they were proud of the update. i was just wondering what you think?

hoo boy firstly thanks for understanding i care exactly Zero for discourse. but i’ll answer because i can see why a post like that can make non-chinese ppl wary or whatever. so allow me to preface this with: if you’re chinese and you have a differing opinion, that’s cool. this is me responding to this ask that has been sent to me specifically. i will, of course, be answering with my own opinion.

anyway i don’t think this is offensive at all like i don’t see what the heck about it is offensive nothing strikes me as upsetting or anything.. what

in fact i think it’s fucking awesome! if you were to ask me during summer games, do i think a future event could be for the year of the rooster? hell no. i’d be like, nah, they’ll probably do something for halloween, for xmas/new year’s, for valentine’s day. major western holidays. even with the racially diverse cast there is no fucking way i would’ve given blizz the benefit of the doubt and thought, ‘well maybe they’ll do an event based on CNY’

and it’s a neat event, too. there are some really cool skins and you can tell a lot of work and care was put into them. like. are people complaining about how they made the journey to the west characters rein, hog, zen, and winston? i have not read the story myself, but it is to my assumption that they picked characters that would fit? which just seems like the logical thing to do. and the epic skins are very pretty. ok i admit ana’s kind of scares me but that’s beside the point.

the voice lines are neat, the highlight intros are neat, and i fucking ADORE the dragon dance sprays. oh my god. they’re all so fucking great. i mean, look at them. they all have the dragon tail things with different colours and they’re all so good!! and looking at stuff like hog’s intro with all the food that reminds me of past celebrations, it’s great stuff.

tl;dr i think this event is a fantastic homage to the actual holiday and i fucking love it. it makes me very happy. i do not find it offensive. i can tell they’ve done their work on this shit and i look forward to the rest of it.