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deanothecheynosaur · 5 years ago

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The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Part 3 (2020)

**SPOILERS**

Ok, I have already completed the season, but I'm still gonna break it down episode by episode and give my thoughts during in retrospect. If you have not seen Parts 1 or 2, I recommend you start there.

Chapter 21: The Hellbound Heart

So, Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka) is trying to get Nick Scratch (Gavin Leatherwood) back out of hell and separated from Lucifer (Luke Cook). If you had forgotten, during part 2 Sabrina found out that Lucifer Morningstar was her biological father, and they trapped Lucifer inside of Nick. She enlists Roz (Jaz Sinclair), Harvey (Ross Lynch), and Theo (Lachlan Watson) to help. Besides the fact that their all besties, I have no idea what help Harvey or Theo would be. Theo is at least loyal and listens to reason. Harvey just goes off all the time. Roz is the most useful with her "cunning." Anyway. Before they figure out how to get to Hell, Mrs. Wardwell (Michelle Gomez) comes back to Baxter High with a new obsession with Dante's Inferno. But she's not possessed by Lilith (Michelle Gomez) anymore; Lilith is too busy defending her title as Queen of Hell. Also, props to Michelle Gomez. She flawlessly played two very different characters this season. Meanwhile, Zelda (Miranda Otto) and Hilda (Lucy Davis) are trying to save the coven because their powers are all fading. They aren't sure what to do with the remaining students or what to tell them. All of their powers are a gift from Lucifer, but he's not really in the position (or the mood) to be giving them any powers. Down in New Orleans, Ambrose (Chance Perdomo) and Prudence (Tati Gabrielle) are on their mission to find her father. When they come up short, they turn to Voodoo Priestess Mambo Marie (Skye P. Marshall) to help them with a different kind of magic. Dorian Gray (Jedidiah Goodacre -that is quite a name-) helps Sabrina and friends to get into Hell as long as they bring him a magic flower. They go in without any real plan, as you do. Seriously. Not even a map. Wtf. Luckily, they walked into the Shores of Sorrow and met Caliban (Sam Corlett), who told them to follow the river of blood because "all blood leads to Pandemonium." That's the capitol city of Hell I guess? They have lots of fun on the way, and when they get there, Lilith says that Sabrina has to deal with the Kings of Hell for her, but Lucifer tells Sabrina that she has to take the throne for herself. It has to be a Morningstar. Well, she does, but the Kings aren't convinced. Then our friend Caliban shows up again, naming himself Prince of Hell, and challenging Sabrina for the throne. It is worth noting that Caliban is ridiculously hot. And generally shirtless. Sabrina accepts the throne to get Nick out of Hell. Which is problematic for a lot of reasons, but most of all that she decides to do this BEFORE separating him from Lucifer. So she's just gonna keep Nick/Lucifer tied up in the dungeon until she finds another flesh acheron to hold Lucifer. What could go wrong?

I really expected it to take longer for Sabrina to get to Nick, but considering the very twisted maze part 3 went down, getting to Pandemonium is pretty minor. Also, Sabrina's whole "I'ma do what I want and not tell my aunts so they don't stop me" is getting old.

Chapter 22: Drag Me to Hell

This one is a little less convoluted. Sabrina finds out that one of her duties as Queen is to drag souls to Hell. Specifically souls who have made a deal with the devil. We can infer from this that the only people who go to Hell are those who have sold their soul, so it would be far easier to not go there than some people in the real world would have me believe. The first soul, a cute old man who wanted to be chess Grand Champion, Sabrina decided to show mercy and sent him to heaven. Didn't go over super well with the Kings of Hell. Also, Sabrina is now a cheerleader at Baxter High. They call themselves the Ravenettes. There's a dance team from my high school called the Raiderettes, so that confused me for a sec. Lots more singing pop songs then actual cheers though. Reminds me of the Jailhouse Rock scene in Riverdale. I digress. Zelda has decided to reopen the academy and that she and Hilda were going to teach. Hilda was more voluntold. Agatha (Adeline Rudolph) doesn't really respond well. Prudence and Ambrose discover that Father Blackwood (Richard Coyle) is in Loch Ness, which is apparently super magical and can bend time and space? Idk, but I was highly disappointed that we didn't see Nessie. They see him at the very end of the episode looking like Mr. Bean at the end of the live action Scooby-Doo movie. They take him back to Greendale and use him to hold Lucifer so Nick can be free. Because what the world needs is Blackwood and Lucifer together. Back to Brina. Her second soul to collect (apparently this is a daily task for the ruler of Hell but she only does these two so there's a plot hole) is the ice cream man, Jimmy Platt (Matty Finochio). He tells her that he would like to extend his contract again by eating the heart of an innocent child. Sabrina confronts Lucifer about this later, apparently it didn't have to be a child, just an innocent soul. Adult virgins, beware. Sabrina tells Jimmy no (obvi) but Jimmy has already hidden the kid. So now she has to find this kid and collect his soul before the end of the day or there will be a coup in Hell. Sabrina wisely decides on just Roz to help her with this one. Roz is also the one who warns Sabrina against transporting herself into a freezer with no more information, but as per usual Sabrina goes anyway. Jimmy put warding sigils on the walls, so she's stuck and powerless. Luckily, Lilith knows what the fuck she's doing (as opposed to Sabrina who only thinks she does) and saves Sabrina. Sabrina takes Jimmy to Hell, but nobody is impressed. Caliban officially challenges her to find the unholy regalia- the three most powerful infernal objects, starting with Herod's crown.

This is a pretty typical Sabrina episode- she's way in over her head, but she either doesn't realize it or won't admit it. I'm never quite sure, but it seems like she genuinely doesn't know. I also don't remember if it's this episode or the next, but Harvey is suddenly feeling under a lot of pressure to have sex with Roz. But it never shows Roz being pushy about it, so idk wtf is going on in Harvey's head (besides convincing himself he's over Sabrina).

Chapter 23: Heavy is the Crown

For this one, Sabrina enlists Ambrose to help her find the crown because Ambrose is the most well read warlock ever due to his permanent house arrest. It's in Riverdale. They use a special compass to find it in a maple tree that the Blossom's use for syrup. If you've seen Riverdale, this probably has more significance and is less surprising. They steal the crown (somehow without realizing zombie King Herod is still in the tree). Sabrina wants to destroy it, but Ambrose wants to tap into its power to help the coven. Unsurprisingly, this does not work out well for them initially because Herod follows the crown and would very much like it back. Zelda is failing at getting respect from the students at the academy, and there's weird Lucifer beetles crawling in ears and controlling people. In other news, a carnival came to town! Obviously this has something to do with the larger plot because otherwise it would be a side note. Harvey, Roz, Sabrina, Nick, and Theo are all going together. Theo wants to invite the new guy, Robin (Jonathan Whitesell), because Theo is crushing hard. Robin is nerdy cute, I guess. I did think it was cliche to give the queer guy green streaks in his hair though. Harvey says tells Theo to invite him as part of the group, which Theo does, and Robin agrees. They all go to the carnival: Roz, Sabrina, and Theo ignorantly happy, Harvey struggling with his masculinity, Nick struggling with his ordeal, and Robin just happy to be there. Roz "sees" the carnival ringmaster as a satyr (or a faun depending on your preference for Greek or Roman deities, but they do tend to prefer Greek in this show), but she decides she was imagining things. Mrs. Wardwell talks to the fortune teller Circe (Lucie Guest) to try to find out what happened to her during the three months that Lilith was using her "skin suit." She doesn't get any concrete answers because that's not how fortune tellers work, Mary. Harvey stumbles across a snake charmer dancer woman in a tent full of pervy dudes and is almost entranced. Hilda goes to the carnival with her bf Dr. C, who proposes. Idk why she needed to throw her cotton candy on the ground during that, but I'm also on a sugar detox, so... Prudence and Ambrose are cleaning up Blackwood's mess by putting a living doll spell on Judas and Judith to hide them and putting his weird time warping monster fish egg thing in a fish tank. Yeah. No Nessie, but a weird egg. It's fine, I'm not bitter. Back at the carnival, Sabrina and Nick get attacked by Herod (who stole his crown back from Ambrose but knows it was Sabrina stealing it initially). Ambrose saves them, but Caliban pops in, steals the crown, and wins the first round of the challenge. At the very end, we find out why the carnies are important: they're pagans who worship the old gods and trying to resurrect The Green Man to rid the world of flesh since the Satanic witches have all but lost their powers. There is more than one voodoo practitioner, idk why they're not considered more of a threat because they're much more independently magical. They need a virgin to complete the rebirth, and that's why Robin (dun dun dun) was hanging out at the high school. Our potential virgins are Theo, Harvey, and Mrs. Wardwell.

I chose not to believe that Robin was actually bad because I want Theo to be happy. I chose to believe that even if he was using Theo, Robin was just trying to take his virginity to prevent him from being the sacrifice. Also, Sabrina is basically trying to force Nick to be normal even though she compared his symptoms to PTSD. Girl stop. He needs a sec.

Chapter 24: The Hare Moon

Zelda and Hilda have decided that the coven needs to celebrate the hare moon for the coming of spring to bolster good will. Sabrina isn't enthused (maybe because it requires her singing a song of summer into the forest to release a rabbit). Lilith tells Sabrina that they need celestial power to restore their strength, so she goes to Dorian, who has an angel trapped in one of his paintings (as all art collectors do). Sabrina drains some blood from the angel for her coven, but leaves in the process because she hears some screaming. Then she stumbles upon Nick and some sex demons doing BDSM. She's less than thrilled, especially since Nick low-key blames her for it. And Dorian has drank 90% of the angel blood, but they can't take anymore with killing him. So Hilda suggests using the little blood to make an oil mixture and take a moon bath under the hare moon (rub oils all over your skin and lie outside under the full moon) to absorb the celestial energy from the moon. During the daytime ceremony, they meet the pagans. Things don't go well. Zelda makes a bunch of petty insults, Hilda pisses off Circe, and Nick kills me the snake that bit Dorcas (Abigail Cowen). Circe puts a curse on Hilda to become a spider, and

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