#i don't mind seeing a few wedding things like i like the romance and the dresses can be prettt

[jakeperalta]

the instagram algorithm has somehow decided I want to see endless wedding related content and it has become inescapable but on the plus side if I ever get married I will have already learned every wedding hack and unique wedding idea and style of wedding dress known to man

[echantedtoon]

YANDERE DEMONS AND BRIDES

Been thinking about this for a while now and I don't know if it counts as yandere but it is how the demons take a bride (or husband for the lady demons unless you also want to imagine that it's a lady.)Yeah. I know old trope but I really like this trope and I wanted to make headcannons for the Upper Moons. I think they'd all have a certain main element fueling that desire for their specific Bride(or Groom for the ladies).

When it comes to the lady demons like Nakime I'll leave Y/n's gender up in the air for anyone to interpret if the ladies also get a wife or if you prefer them to get a husband.

Warnings for yandere-ish (???) themes, kidnapping mentions, possibly death mentioned, mentioned wounds and scars, mentioned illness, mentioned bad vision, etc.

If any of these warnings upset you pls don't read. I will be including Daki/Ume in the line up as part of Gyutaro's part but she will be strictly PLATONIC yandere!! Absolutely NO romance between her and reader!! And her parts will be minor.

KOKUSHIBO:

HARBORMENT

-You have to be a very specific kind of person to attract this man's attention. I think it'd most likely be one of two things that guarantee his bold interest. 1. you are a reincarnation of his wife or 2. you remind him of someone he used to love long ago but never could have especially if you were close to/was with Yoriichi. But whatever the case he finds himself taken by your familiar being.

-He doesn't even know why he bothers with it. But he can't help but watch you from afar. The old feelings resurfacing. He tells himself that it doesn't matter anymore. Most likely you wouldn't remember him even if you were a past lover, and even if you did you'd most likely believe him dead by now or want nothing to do with him.

-He is perfectly content with just watching you live out your life. He's learnt so much about you through just secretly watching. He learns your favorite tea, you love long walks at morning, you work just around the corner at a tailor shop.

-He's content until it no longer becomes enough. He starts to wonder. Do you still smile the way you used to? Do you still wear the same sweet perfume you did back then? He walks into your work one day in disguise. You weren't there being so late, but he ends up buying a Jacket you personally tailored.

-Muzan definitely knows about you. He knew the exact moment Kokushibo saw you. He just doesn't care and sorta lets Kokushibo get away with it being his most loyal demon. He doesn't allow his obsession to interfere with his missions and in turn Muzan is idgaf.

-He is a very traditional man and believes in courting a woman before marriage. In his mind you both are still married/together, he just needs to make you aware of it again. So he starts leaving small gifts for you when you're not around.

-At first you're confused but you think it's just a harmlessly sweet gesture from a secret crush. A few flowers on your doorstep every other night, maybe a small gift of a necklace or hair pin, however your quickly get freaked out when the gifts get TOO personal.

-You came to work one day and was freaked out when your boss handed you a decorative vase an 'admirer' left you for you after he overheard you mentioning it. (You only ever mentioned it once to you boss in private with no one else around.) Your boss is also slightly confused since they also hadn't mentioned that to anyone.

-You freak out more than ever when you come home and find a pair of wedding rings and a shiromuku(wedding kimono) laid out perfectly on your bed.

-Kokushibo sees nothing wrong with his behavior. As in his mind you both are still together, you are still his woman, and he's going to reclaim what is his own. This is just letting you know what he expects. He can't comprehend you'd be against this.

-He's not allowing you to go, especially after he lost you last time to his brother's affections. Whether these affections were platonic friendship or romantic lovers is up to you, but his internalized inferiority, jealousy, obsession, and greed won't allow him to let you go.

-You shriek when you first see him reveal himself. He doesn't understand why you're reacting like this. Don't you recognize your husband? You can't get away. He's holding you to him in an embrace as you freak out.

"Death may have stolen you from me..but I will deny the reaper of his claim to you once again."

DOUMA:

EMOTIONS

-Again you have to be very specific for these men to even consider taking you as a bride. For Douma, it'd be because of the way you make him actually feel things.

-However this ends up happening or when it does is entirely a thing all of its own but for the sake of not making this a mountain of a post, we'll leave that part up to whatever you interpret for now.

-The problem is that he has legit NO idea of what he's even feeling. He's never felt adoration, anger, happiness, etc so how is he supposed to know what this fluttery strange feeling in his chest is?

-So for a long while even he's not aware of his growing obsession with you. He just knows these feelings are not bad. He knows these feelings are coming from you. So somehow he deduced that you are the problem for his new predicaments.

-For this reason he has you looked over by the cults resident healer in case you're using some kind of sickness or chemistry stuff on him. Gets more confused when you are perfectly fine. Nevermind that demons couldn't get sick.

-You become weirded out by how clingy and stalkerish he's suddenly become overnight. He's not even aware he's doing it and if he is he doesn't care really. He just knows you're the cause of the fuzzy warmth in his chest and he's starting to like it.

-The only chance for you to escape is now while he's still confused on what he's feeling. Afterwards it's too late.

-EVERYONE notices his behavior and there's a mixed reaction to it all. Some congratulate you which you're so confused on and some express their happiness to their founder. Douma is just even more confused at it all. Eventually someone notices his confusion and asks him about it, then proceeds to explain what's he's feeling because he's not so sure himself.

-This revolution is mind blowing to him. He's literally the shocked Pikachu meme.

-In his mind as he thinks about it, technically he's been already courting you for nearly a year now. Showering you in affection and gifts and treating you like the goddess you were. So the next logical step would be marriage and that thought actually has him giddy at the thought of you in a shiromuku.

-You've been giving him subtle hints that you're uncomfortable the entire time but he either flat out ignores it or it just flies over his head.

-He randomly wakes you up in the middle of the night and asks if you're not busy the next day.

You blink at the shadowy creepily happy smiling figure too tired to comprehend the gravity of the situation. "I think?"

"Alright." He's silent for a moment. "I made us an appointment with a local priest."

You mumble a nothing response, still on the brink of sleep.

"Just remember to take the day off," he presses. "Hello? Are you there?"

"Uh huh." Your eyes won't even stay open.

"It's settled then. We'll get married tomorrow." He claps happily as he makes his leave. "Go back to sleep now, Lotus blossom."

He leaves and you breathe a sigh of relief as you snuggle into your bed again-

You jolt up. Did he say married?

AKAZA:

FAMILIARITY

-Akaza has never, has not, and never will harm a woman. He himself is unsure of his past where this stems from but he feels a familiarity to something deep but distant when he first meets you.

-You either are dealing with a similar illness Koyuki experienced, or you're a demon slayer whom had to retire due to injuries. Let's go with the second option for this one.

-Akaza had randomly heard recently that a demon slayer had to retire and was currently in the area he was in. He's always looking for a good fight so it's not a no brainer he'd seek you out. What he doesn't know was that this particular retired slayer was a woman. He doesn't realize this even when he first sees you until you horrified and scared seeing a demon in your home confirms that you are indeed the person he's looking for.

-Akaza is shocked. Not at the fact that there's a lady slayer (he's seen plenty of strong lady slayers) but at how you look. He's never seen a woman covered in so many wounds and scars even amongst other slayers. He's so stunned he asks you about it. You're more confused on why he doesn't outright end you, but you answer his question to avoid provoking him. An entire gang of demons has ganged up on you and if it weren't for a Haishira you'd be dead. However your current state left you unable to continue.

-He's angry. About a lot of things. How dare those lowlifes! HE'S obviously not gonna be getting a fight here. There's no way to release this anger- You're stunned as the angry demon just leaves without another word, but he takes it out on some rocks some miles away.

-Akaza ends up swinging by much to your growing horror and worry. He never comes close or makes threatening actions towards you, but you've seen him multiple times staring into your window or you'd see him in the distance barely visible through the darkness. It always freaks you out.

-Akaza doesn't mean to scare you, he just can't help but be curious about you. He finds himself thinking about you and your poor condition a lot. For some reason it pangs his heart seeing you limp about knowing it's permanent to your walking pattern or get angry when he sees people stare at you funny. He even ended a man who insulted your beauty by calling your battle scars unattractive not that you had any idea. He just..feels an odd need to give you care. It feels so... familiar. Second nature.

-He's just so entranced by you. Your smile, your gently nature, your kindness- Despite your losses and bad treatment you still treat everyone so gently. It makes his heart race with something so familiar yet so foreign.

-Reality shatters for him when he hears of your arranged marriage. After returning you had to move back with family who were all horrified to your condition. Their logic was that you needed to get married like a sensible woman and you should be grateful someone was willing to put up with you as a wife.

-In Akaza's view no one would ever treat you like you deserved. He knew he could care for you like he did for-... Someone that makes his head fog. HE CAN'T LET HIM TAINT HER SMILE. If you needed a husband to provide for you then he's happy to step in. Don't be surprised when you wake up to him carrying you out the window.

"Anything that is gold is often buried beneath where everyone's minds skim over without a second thought. You won't have your gold tainted to rust by another."

GYUTARO(+PLATONIC UME/DAKI):

EQUALITY

-Let's be fair. Gyutaro (and Ume/Daki) were never treated as an equal. He was always treated like a piece of garbage (and Ume a pretty doll) so he's gotten used to the fact that he's just destined for that.

-So he's surprised when his sister just starts yapping about another girl in her workplace. It's not out of the ordinary for her to talk about other girls mostly complaining about them or demanding he do something about it. But he's surprised that she's not complaining but gushing about how she made a friend....What?

-Gyutaro.wav is confused af

-She proceeds to proudly gush to her brother about how this girl 'actually knows her place' and 'knows how beautiful Daki is without even needing to know her.'

-Gyutaro.exe is VERY confused af

-She notices his blank stare and scoffs in annoyance. "She's visually impaired you dolt! Honestly it wouldn't be much of a difference if she was actually blind." Oh. Well now he's less confused. Turns out you're new to the house Daki is currently working in and she had originally planned on eating you outta jealousy, however changed her mind when you complimented her voice.

-Daki.wav is now confused. She was used to being complimented on everything from her beauty to her hair to her walking even but her voice? It was then she learnt you weren't blind but you might as well be with how bad your vision actually was seeing everything in colorful blurs. This confuses her. Confused her enough to spare you that night and instead you both just sorta awkwardly talked casually. You politely asked her what it was like to be a famous oiran and if she had any tips for make up as you couldn't see well enough to tell if yours was good.

-You had spoken to her without fear, or condensending, or even any flat out adoration. It was just as if she was another person on the street and not a cannibalistic monster. Honestly it was ..nice. Hella confusing but actually nice for once being treated like another. She decides she will not eat you. After all it wouldn't harm anyone if you couldn't see the red flags in front of you, and you believe her anyways when she said she's beautiful.

-She decides you are her default friend and you now listen to all her problems and tantrums whenever she wants. You gently listen awkwardly sometimes with a frown after you hear she had punished another worker. However there's very little people here nice to you and her reputation alone has kept troublemakers away from you so you decide her friendship is worth more than the cons of not having it.

-She's very territorial over her one friendship. Almost toxically so. If you want something you had BETTER get it within the day or there's hell to pay! If there's a customer you don't particularly like he had BETTER find another girl. No is not an option. Even the house master is scared of her so all complies.

-Gyutaro has legit no idea of what to think of this but his logic is whatever his precious baby sister wants she gets so if you make her happy being her friend then he'll leave you alone and leave her too it. He hasn't met you yet tho. Most of the time he's either out hunting or asleep dormant in Daki's body. Sometimes he heard you two talking but tuned it out as it was mostly boring or his sister complaining to you again. You two completely meet by accident.

-One day he came back from hunting, the two had to split as it'd look suspicious if she suddenly disappeared, so as usual he went to go clean up the mess. The two were just talking when the door suddenly opens and they both freeze as you stand there smiling. Turns out you had just come to say good night to Daki and didn't even see the demon in front of you. However you are barely able to make out a second blurry figure in the darkness. It prompts you to apologize for interrupting her and her customer to which both relax from their tense posture remembering you couldn't actually tell there was a six foot something demon in front of you.

-Daki is prompted to scoff and explain that it wasn't a customer but her brother visiting. In turn Gyutaro is stunned as you genuinely smile his way and greet him like he was another friend. It quickly becomes awkward as he just stares. His brain can't compute a girl(a pretty girl at that) was smiling and talking to him normally. He answers in grunts and quickly leaves the awkward scene.

-Is later shocked weeks later when his sister informs him that you sometimes ask her how her brother is doing. He's not used to having anyone think of him so nicely even as a second thought. The way he reacts gives Daki the idea of making her brother come out to again meet you. (She forces him out and doesn't let him merge until he meets you again.) He's shocked at how you still genuinely are kind to him offering him tea and asking if he'd like to hear you play the shamisen.

-Man becomes fastly smitten by you. With so much touch starvation and affection denial he has it was inevitable. You suspect he might like you by the stutters of his floundering voice but out of respect to your friend you remain casual and never bring it up to either of them when they visit you.

-You've got two demons utterly obsessed with you for both two different reasons. Daki is unwilling to lose her only friend. In her mind NO ONE is allowed to be friends with you! She's the best! So she's your best and only friend! She's very possessive over things she sees as hers and you're no exception. She even was jealous of Gyutaro's affections for you at first but quickly realized it would be easier to share her big brother with you. They share practically everything else anyways. She still gets annoyed when he takes your attention for too long tho. You were her friend first!

-Gyutaro is obsessed with the way you treat him. The way you don't back away from him when he gets close. The way you smile at him. The way you don't treat him like the scum of the earth. He's a very possessive man, even more than his sister. Any visiting customers you have are never seen again. Any present or past he finds out about are quickly taken as his dinner for daring to touch what's his.

-If he doesn't get them then Daki will. She eliminates any threat within the house. Any servant who stares at you with disdain or someone who gets too friendly is swiftly delt with.

-You're hella confused when the house master says he is cursed with many runaway workers.

-Both absolutely FREAK when they return to the house and You're not there anymore. Daki realizes this first when she goes to see you and finds you GONE! All of your belongings are gone and your room is empty. Practically tears the house apart looking for you and calling your name. Her panic wakes up her brother concerned she's in danger but also freaks out when she informs him you're GONE! She goes to the house master after not finding you anywhere else and DEMANDS they tell her where you are with murder in her eyes.

-Turns out a man had bought your marriage contract after watching a show of yours playing the shamisen and singing. You were relieved to be leaving and had left with him after waiting for an hour to say goodbye but your friend never showed up.

-Both are HORRIFIED and ENRAGED!

-Daki ends the house master in a rage as her brother appears. It's not too hard to find you being lead by your soon-to-be husband leading you towards the train station. Had they been ten minutes late then you would've been completely out of the E-District.

-Instead you're quickly absorbed into Daki's belt as her brother violently rips the man apart in a blind rage. You aren't going to leave your best friend behind and he wasn't going to let another man have your hand.

"I'm your friend! Don't you get that?!"

"I'll cut down anyone who tries to hurt my precious sister or take you from me. You're mine."

KAIGAKU:

GREED

-This man and Kokushibo are similar. Both have inferiority issues against younger brothers(Ik technically Zenitsu n him aren't brothers but bare with me) being better than them in swordsmanship one way or another. With Yoriichi and Kokushibo it was more complicated. Between Kaigaku and Zenitsu it was that ONE Thunder Breathing technique he never conquered.

-His inferiority and greed has caused him to make so many bad decisions (if you've read the manga or read his wiki then you know what I mean). He's not one to want to be out done even if he has to resort to underhanded tactics.

-You both met when he was still human and training under Master Jigoro. You were a simple healer often just helping patch him and Zenitsu up after training. He's annoyed and often doesn't give you a second thought that is until Zenitsu starts running his mouth obviously. He asks you to marry him ten minutes after you both just met.

-Kaigaku has known you for a few years longer than Zenitsu because he's older and came to train here before Zenitsu but you both have never been close before. He's short with you when you talk otherwise he's usually quiet. You talk to him anyways even if he never answers back. You're used to it.

-He hates how you just patiently laugh off any and all attempts Zenitsu makes to you. Why are you tolerating that idiot?!(Nevermind you also tolerate him and his stupid attitude.) He gets jealous of your interactions and how Zenitsu is just finding over you before he meets Nezuko. He barely sees you after his final selection and becoming a slayer but his furious mind boils over at the thought of you spending more time ALONE with Zenitsu before he too goes to his Final selection.

-With both Zenitsu and Kaigaku gone, and Jigoro insisting he can take care of himself, you're reassigned to a different residence where multiple slayers pass through. Ironically it's where Kaigaku is. All good and bad feelings punch him at once seeing your smiling face again as you stitch up his most recent wound.

-He likes you so much and how you treat him, but he's internally enraged when you share that kindness with anyone outside of him. Hearing you speaking to him about Zenitsu and your other patients only enrages that boiling point. However it only reaches that point when you inform the ever silent man about your own slayer fiance you met through your patients.

-You're sad when one day Kaigaku stops showing up for a long while. News of his betrayal and Jigoro's death really hadn't reached a lot of people with all the Haishira and slayers training for the final fight in the Infinity Castle. Your slayer fiance included.

-You do however receive news of your fiance's mysterious gruesome death at the hands of a demon. You're more heartbroken when you also hear of Jigoro's death. Devastated and crying your heart out over your loss. However those sobs turn to screams when you're face to face with blackened eyes of death as a sinister smile.

"What are you crying for? It's his own fault."

NAKIME:

SHARED INTEREST

-(Ok. Bare with me. Ive never written for her before and even researching her backstory this is probably not going to be very long and ooc. Take as platonic or romantic.) Let me start by saying that she does not get out much. Like at all. So you two really don't meet face to face.

-She discovers you by accident when she opened a door in a busy street and happened to see you sitting on the side of the road also playing a biwa for money.

-She hasn't seen another fellow biwa player for a while and decided to keep the doorway open for a while to listen.

-You are not very good with the biwa. Your playing isn't bad it's just not the best. Nakime knows this but considering she's never met another person or heard another instrument for a long time she can't help but get interested. Learns quickly that you are a lot better playing the shamisen than the biwa and always opens a small window or doorway on nights she knows you're gonna be sitting on your corner playing.

-She starts to think about teaching you how to play the biwa and doing a duet as you play your shamisen next to her biwa. Starts to really like the idea of permanently having your company in the castle.

-She doesn't really abduct you until after a show a drunk patron steals your instrument and smashes it on the ground laughing at your crying face.

-A loud strum of a biwa is heard as both you AND the drunk man is teleported. You're shocked to suddenly find yourself on a platform with a woman sitting right across from you. The drunk man was also teleported. She teleported him to where she knew a gang of newly turned hungry demons were.

"Apologies for the sudden introductions however it seems you need a change of residence."

GYOKKO:

CREATIVITY

-(I don't like him too much but ik there's a lot of people who do and can't find content for him same as those who like Nakime so I'll include him too for all you Gyokko fans.) Mans is a baby. Very sensitive to his projects being insulted even if they deserve to be called that, most either are 'too dumb to notice his great skills' or always insult him. When in reality his art is so gruesome that people can't help but he horrified by it or insult him. The only one who seems to get him is Douma which is why he gifted him the pot but they aren't really friends.

-He meets you by complete accident. He was out too late and ended up deciding to hide in a pottery worker's shop. He likes to sneak around and spy on other artists anyways. His pot was sun proof and all he had to do was duck inside and wait until night again. However he wasn't counting on being bought.

-You had come in looking for a new vase to decorate your table after your old one accidentally broke. You happened to spot Gyokko's and completely fell in love with how pretty it was! The purest white you've ever seen with beautifully perfectly painted flowers and leafy vines. The pottery worker doesn't even remember making this piece but a paying customer was a paying customer so he sold you Gyokko's vase.

-Gyokko is absolutely offended by the pottery worker claiming his vase as his own and plans to end him later...But he also is very intrigued by the bold compliments you gave so he decides not to end you yet.

-When night comes he sneaks out to find quite a sight. Turns out you are also an artist sorta. You make custom jewelry and clothing for people, and baskets on the side. He's intrigued and extends his body around to look closely at all of the fabrics laid about, and written patterns, and little pieces of jewels ready to be put together for a simple but pretty piece to wear.

-He ends up going from the back of your shop to the front finding a lot of finished pieces of yours displayed and ready for sale. He's very intrigued by the kimonos. All of the patterns are individually sewn on. Cherry blossoms, storks, flowers- All are sewn on thread after thread by hand. It's like a canvas but made of fabric with thread as the paint. He's seen a LOT of kimonos but the attention to detail and precision to the likeness of the real thing was truly remarkable. For a woman.

-He decides since you really hadn't been a nuisance and complimented his work then he'll not end you for taking his pot. Instead of taking his pot with him, he leaves it and teleports to a different pot that way he can still sneak into your home without a problem.

-This goes on for two years. He'll pop in every so while when you sleep and look around for an hour or two before leaving. There was always different dresses displayed with different beautiful scenes sewed into them or he'd see one you were working on on your workshop bench. The needle paused in sewing the stripes of a tiger or the veins of a leaf.

-One day he comes back but hides in the pot because you're working late and tending to a customer who needed a dress for a ceremony. As you both talk the customer compliments 'your pot' and asks why you never put flowers in it. You answer- "I don't want to damage it by filling it with water or having rose thorns scratch it's inside. Besides it's beautiful enough by itself."

-As if this man didn't have enough of a big ego- This happens around the start of the second year and he ends up fond of this fellow artist. He gets the idea of gifting you another case to gage your reaction. This time you find a deep blue pot with waves painted onto it. You're unsure of where it came from but you might up moving it by the first vase mumbling to yourself about how pretty it was! Man's ego skyrockets.

-You are confused when you thank your friends for the pretty gifts only to be told they didn't make any of the ones you have. You get more confused when you start finding pots left on your doorstep two or three times a month. You never see who leaves them but you're so taken by how each one is so pretty that you never complain. Just assuming it was a secret admirer. Gyokko's ego boosts higher when he sees you had gotten two big shelves and placed them up to be displayed. He loves seeing you light up when you look at them excited for when the next one arrives.

-You're happiness seems to be improving your work too as Gyokko ends up find you making full on landscapes on your dresses. He notices you've suddenly become happier and giddier lately and blushing even but he doesn't think it's anything other than your adoration for his craft.

-Confused when one day he finds no new dresses being made except for an absolutely beautiful shiromuku in the process of being made. He assumes you've been paid to make a bride her ceremonial dress. He has absolutely no idea of the real reason behind this behavior until he comes back earlier one night and is shocked to find YOU wearing the dress to try it out as another friend of yours does your makeup testing out what colors would look best with you in the dress.

-Seeing you in your own homemade bridal piece and your face dolled up is like he's looking upon living artwork. He's in awe as you both giddily talk about your wedding-..Wait. Wot? You're telling your friend all about how the pottery maker you had originally bought your first vase from had fallen for you and came forward to be your secret admirer leaving all of the vases as gifts.

W H A T?!

-Gyokko is ENRAGED!! How dare that lowlife claim his precious skills as his own!? More so how dare he use it to trick this beloved artist into letting him marry you?! He was claiming all his hard work!! He's becomes more enraged when you mentioned that your fiance wanted you to retire from your craft and be a stay at home wife after you marry. A mantra of "Oh over his dead body" is repeated over in his head as he temporarily disappears to take care of a problem.

-Soon after your friend leaves you're smiling at yourself in a mirror only to freeze in horror and shriek out as something monstrous comes clawing out of the first ever face you've ever gotten. People are horrified and shocked when they find your fiance dead and you no where to be found.

"Art is a beauty in of itself. However there are few people who can truly appreciate you as such."

Hoo boy that was a lot. I'm gonna do a part 2 with Hantengu since that guy needs to be tackled along with clones on his own post and a part 3 with the lower moons. Hope you all enjoyed this.

[2uuno]

like the thing is ever since i was a kid i wanted to have a fairy tale wedding. this wasn't really a societal pressure, my parents made it very clear i didn't have to, and i never felt like anyone was getting this excited about it, but i literally always wanted to get married.

i dated ten people in six years and every single one of them were perfect for my wedding. every single one of them, i could see myself holding in bed, or getting a candle lit dinner with, or fixing them coffee. but only for a few weeks. then their face would be replaced with a stranger's at the altar in my mind.

i thought there was something really wrong with me for a long time.

a few people suggested i may be aromantic, but when i looked into it, i saw everyone talking about how romance never made sense to them, how they felt like they didn't fit into the romance quite right. i never experienced this. romance always clicked in my mind, always seemed like the most important thing in the world. i wasn't aromantic, i was just broken.

it took me a long long time to come to terms with being aromantic. it felt like a huge loss, like i would never be happy again. because romance made me happier than anything, and if i didn't have that, what was the point?

and then i figured out that i could still have that. i found someone i cared about, someone who was so endlessly kind and patient and absolutely beautiful, someone i could imagine in my wedding photos, and i told him i wouldn't love him back, probably ever. he said it was okay.

i think the issue had never been that i didn't really want a wedding with people who i didn't love. i don't think that matters to me. i think that i just wanted someone who knew me, knew i wouldn't love them back immediately, or maybe ever. i think i just wanted that reassurance, that "i love you, and you don't have to say it back."

i've been dating my current partner over a year.

their face is still in my mental wedding pictures. i don't think it's ever going away.

[rinadragomir]

My thoughts on the couples included in Better in Black for those who care

I expect you to write down yours so work work

📍Wessa

You know, as a dedicated Jessa stan I wanna say that it's okay~ Because these two were together for 50 years or sth, there's still some things to add. We might watch them in their 30s, 50s, 60s. I guess at this point both camps have around the same amount of content. Plus I'll have Jessa in twp so I'm in peace 🌱

📍Clace

All my first thoughts are over here. I'm a Clace defender, I'm their oldest stan, I'm a veteran👩‍🦳 So I feel like I have a right to say that...it was kinda unnecessary. We've witnessed every step in their relationship so far, beginning of it in TMI, gentle transition to adulthood in TDA and Tales of Shadowhunter Academy, adulthood in SOBH and proposal. So if the story isn't about their wedding then WHAT THE HELL IS IT ABOUT REALLY? And we know that they won't get married until twp.

📍Anna & Ari (Arianna!)

Hey🥺that is nice, we've seen so little of them in chain of thorns and I've loved them since their debut in 2018 in that short story. I'm very biased when it comes to TLH, cause I'm their mother. So YAY🌱they have a long way to go, Anna still needs to change a tiny little bit for them to be healthy, so I'd love to witness it

📍Jordelia

We all have known about it, because Cassie kinda promised us their story a while ago. Wedding runes scene, honeymoon, kids, mortgage etc. Go kids, slay, serve, eat and so on, I'm excited for u!

📍Sebastian & Seelie Queen

🤨🧐🤔👁👁

Yeah... That famous Sebastian &Fanbase. Like... I'm conflicted, because it's useless and doesn't make any sense even tho it might slay. Listen up, I'll show you.

Lots of people defend it by saying that it might be important for Ash's background in TWP. But... No it's not. Because this is exclusive book made for few people who were lucky and financially stable enough to get it. It won't be posted online. So most people won't read it unless someone leaks it. So there's no point for that story to be important for the plot, therefore it has nothing to do with it.

And it's definitely not "one of the most beloved" couples. BUT LIKE... WHAT IF IT SLAYS? Toxic, unhinged romance, what if I'll love it? 🤡

📍Jemma

So you see the problem? Because it's the same as Clace. What else might she add, because there's nothing. SoBH ended like yesterday. We know exactly where they live rn, their daily routine, their plans. So there's nothing to add between SOBH and twp. What will it be about? Hard to say, but I hope Cassie will come up with sth interesting for them.

📍Thomastair (why did Cassie say Alistair instead of Alastair, I'm lost help me)

Yay🥺slay, serve, eat and leave no crumbs, go, kill it idk you're doing great boys, there's so much to add and explore because they've just started dating. I'm so excited ^-^

📍Kierartkina

That is fine. No matter what I think about their relationship, because in my point of view Cristina and Kieran fell in love because Cassie said so apparently, I still don't mind them being there. Because there's also lots of things to discuss and explore. I hope the story will be soft and warm☀they've just started their advantage so it definitely makes sense

📍Sizzy

Even though we've had lots of them in TMI and Shadowhunters Academy I still think they deserve to be here. They are famous (I guess? 👁👁) and I'd like to know more about their plans for future. Simon was still a teenager in the stories collection and now I'd love to see him as a grown man being in relationship with the woman he loves.

📍Luke & Jocelyn

👁👁🤨🧐🤔👀

Well... That was... Unexpected. I guess... I've just never met their fandom but I hope it's huge af, because I don't know why else would they be here. Sophideon, Gabrily and Charlotte with Henry were supposed to be here, let's be honest. But since they're here, I do think Cassie is able to make a decent story. I expect it to be bittersweet, angsty and somehow heartwarming. I think there's nothing to say except let's wait and find out.

OVERALL I think it's pretty fine. Maximum 7/10 from me. I was ready to face the worst, but it turned out to be... Fine. So it's fine☺🌱

[kimberbohwrites]

IT'S HERE -- SPECIAL TWO CHAPTER RELASE Hope for the Gate Chapters One and Two Word Count: 6,089 Rated: Explicit -- MDNI! READ ON AO3 (or continued below)

CHAPTER THREE> Please don't forget to kudos/comment/like/reblog <3 Rolan x Tav art by @ ORANGEKITTYENERGY on tumblr

Summary: Eight months after the events of 'All I Wanted' (my first Rolan x Tav fic [see series]), Tav and Rolan’s relationship is tested by tragedy and turmoil. There will be drama, romance, political intrigue, action, and of course — smut. Is our favorite tiefling strong enough to handle it all and hold on to the girl? Tags/Warnings: Rolan (Baldur's Gate), Tav (Baldur's Gate). Post-Canon, Fluff and Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Porn with Feelings. Porn With Plot, Tiefling Biology (Dungeons & Dragons), Tieflings (Dungeons & Dragons), Rolan in Rut, Anti-Tiefling Racism (Dungeons & Dragons), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Eventual Smut

A cool breeze drifted in through the opened window in his study, and Rolan steadied the scrolls on his desk before him with a groan. On the wind came the sweet smell of flowers that now grew in the boxes outside his office windows. Tav had installed them here and outside the bedroom and kitchen windows. He’d designed garden beds for the large terraces around the tower for her to work in as well.

She called them “Sylvanus’ Blessings” the flowers, fruits, vegetables, herbs, and other plant life that she thrived on sustaining. He wasn’t sure about all of that — but what he did know was that Tav loved them and he loved Tav. The breath still caught in his chest most mornings when he awoke and saw her face still asleep in the bed they shared. He still couldn’t believe she was his. Nearly each night when they slept in the same bed it would be at Ramazith Tower where they both had obligations and responsibilities. Some nights they watched the stars go down in the solemn little clearing in the woods where Tav’s homestead blossomed. The nights he hated were the ones where they slept apart. Luckily, they were few and far between now that he’d improved a more permanent portal between the Tower and her home in the woods outside the city. For that, Rolan was grateful. 

Tav’s presence in his life is a blessing and one he is still fighting to fully understand. How the most beautiful woman he had ever known could actually love him was still a question that nagged at the back of his mind. Despite his lingering fears, he’d managed not to mess up things with Tav since they’d made things official. It had been nearly 8 months since the night of Astarion and Gale’s wedding, since they’d confessed their love and agreed to work through their challenges and be together.

The bracelet he’d given her which could portal two people between the two locations was no longer necessary. He noted that she still wore it everyday and he barely managed to hide his moon-eyed smile every time he saw it on her wrist. While the red stones had originally been picked to match the dress she’d worn the night of that fateful wedding, he’d come to think of it differently over time. Deep down, he now felt a sense of possessive pride that the red bracelet against her wrist so closely resembled those moments when his tail coiled around the same spot. Something he took great pleasure in doing as he kissed her and as he took her desperately on the nights where he felt that possessiveness arise in him once more. When his self doubt was the loudest.

It’s almost strange how well she fit into his life and the lives of his siblings — Cal and Lia. They’d always been content as a trio and he’d often worried about how difficult things might be when that dynamic changed. But Tav’s closeness with them had eased his fears and only served to make him love her even more. Tav had already been close with Lia,  they were truly the best of friends and often co-conspirators in various schemes and plans. To Cal, Tav had become something of another big sister. Only partially to Rolan’s chagrin as Cal already seemed to hold Tav’s opinion in higher regard than his own.

It has always made him uneasy, the idea of introducing a new dynamic into their lives. He had been responsible for Cal and Lia since their mother’s passing and while he’d done his best by them, he understood that he couldn’t be their only family forever. He’d always believed it would be Cal or Lia adding someone to their group that he would inevitably hate. He’d been partially right in that regard, Lia had started seeing Dammon just before Tav and him had gotten together. But Dammon had always been a part of their lives, since they’d grown up in Elturel. The blacksmith had gone by a different name then, one they’d all long since forgotten.

Sure, having Dammon now dating his sister was new territory but even Rolan had to admit that Dammon was a good man. Bringing Tav into the fold had been something new entirely. Not because Tav wasn’t good, in fact Tav was almost too good. It was an undeniable truth that the three of them would most likely be dead if not for her. Hells, Dammon too. It was her who convinced them to stay with the rest of the refugees on the road, who had rescued his siblings from Moonrise Towers and him from himself, and Tav who had helped overthrow the former master of Ramazith Tower after she discovered his many transgressions and abuses of power.

Of course any time he had attempted to point out her many contributions, she waved it off or pointed out how Rolan was also the hero in their story. He’d actually caught her once, telling a group of children all about how he’d been a hero when the refugees had been cornered by the absolute. She’d caught them, having snuck into the shop to see some magic with their own eyes. Instead of tossing out what most people would see as street urchins, Tav had sat them down and spun a tale of heroism about the Master of Ramazith Tower. That was just who she was.

He’d happened upon it, toward the end of the story when she told the kids how the brave man who had rescued refugee children, then helped overthrow the cruel former Master of the tower.

“But — but I thought the new Master of the tower was grouchy!” One child had interrupted.

“I heard he’s like me!” A little tiefling girl had added with excitement and a swish of her little tail.

Her statement had been met with boos and groans from the other kids and Rolan had almost made a hasty retreat before Tav spotted him. With her radiant smile and an outstretched hand, she had summoned him to her side.

“He is” Tav had said to the Tiefling girl as she put an arm around him warmly and placed a light kiss on his cheek.

The children had scattered away with peals of laughter and other sounds of glee, disgust, and excitement that came from seeing two adults express affection for one another. Even though he had helped raise his siblings, Rolan had never been great with small children and was always nervous in their presence. Meanwhile, Tav seemed to exude a natural warmth and light that children found magnetic.

He snapped back to attention as he noticed himself daydreaming and worrying again instead of focusing on the pile of scrolls in front of him on his desk. Dragging a clawed hand over his face with a groan, he shifted to a more comfortable position in his chair. While things with Tav were great, the pile of responsibilities and anxieties in front of him was ever-growing. Tav had her own troubles as well and his heart was still weighed heavy for her.

Wyll had returned to back to Baldur’s Gate a few tendays after Astarion and Gale’s wedding with the darkest tidings. His fiancé, Karlach had perished in Avernus leaving him in a dark pit of grief. In a stroke of cruelty, the archdevil Zariel had destroyed the plans and the architect behind Karlach’s infernal engine, eliminating their hopes of being able to permanently stabilize the device. Tired of fighting off the inevitable, she’d chosen to return to the mortal plane to allow her engine to combust and her along with it. Wyll had even apologized to them through bleary eyes for not telling them sooner, explaining that she didn’t want anyone else to see her at the end. 

Rolan really only knew Wyll from their brief time at the Druid Grove, but it was clear the man he saw delivering the devastating news to Tav was a shadow of himself at the loss. He couldn’t blame the young noble — at the thought of losing Cal and Lia he’d come undone and tried to drink himself to death. The thought of losing Tav, well, he couldn’t even bear to consider that.

Rolan wasn’t known for his emotional depth, but he’d tried to be there for Tav as she grieved the loss of her dear friend while attempting to also support Wyll. It was just like her to stretch herself so thinly to support everyone around her. She’d done her best to stay strong in the tendays that followed the news of Karlach’s passing. He knew that he couldn’t force her to start the grieving process, but it worried him to see her so eerily okay. After about a dozen days she’d broken down sobbing over the sight of a child with a stuffed bear.

Rolan had held her close as the tears began to fall, whisking her back to the Tower so she might have some privacy. 

He was honored to be the one supporting her, it was a duty he took seriously, trying to remember to place her always above his other responsibilities. It was hard. As Archmage of Ramazith Tower he has his work cut out for him. But he wants to be more than just a great wizard. He wants to be a great brother to his siblings and a great partner to Tav.

And Tav — well she’s already impacted him more than he would like to admit it. He had never found himself caring much about the things and people outside of his immediate circle, until Tav. The world had been a largely cruel place in his repeated experiences. But there was something about the way she cared so profoundly for the world around her that warmed parts of him he thought were long dead. Thus, he found himself listening to Tav’s stories of the refugee’s needs and reading the paper more to stay informed about the city he now called home. Hells, he’d even went with her quite often to deliver the produce she grew into the hands of the Gate’s most vulnerable citizens.

Both he and Tav had thought that with the defeat of the absolute, the death of Archduke Enver Gortash and the reinstalment of Grand Duke Ulder Ravengard to leadership of the city, things just might improve. The opposite had proven true. Rolan didn’t understand the politics at play within the city and neither did Tav, but to them it seemed like every one of Duke Ravengard’s best intentions was being undone behind the scenes.

Neither Rolan nor Tav were quite sure how to help. It had only been about 7 months now since Karlach’s passing and Wyll was understandably still grieving. Neither of them wanted to approach him about political matters. Tav had a hard time ignoring the growing signs of what she called “a rot” within the City. Intent to leave Wyll out of things, she had confided her suspicions with Rolan. He’d begged her not act rashly, to include him. In truth, he’d have asked her just to leave it alone but he knew she wouldn’t. 

If that wasn’t enough, things with Cal and Lia were also heavy on his mind. Lia and Dammon had been together for some time now and she was now over at the Forge of the Nine more often than he saw her around the Tower. He was happy for her, he was sure of it — but the change was hard. It made him uneasy as he often found himself anxious about what would happen if she moved out, they’d never lived apart before.

Cal on the other hand was a different stressor completely. While Lia was essentially the General Manager of Sorcerous Sundries, Cal hadn’t been interested in working in the Tower with his siblings. It had been a hard conversation to have, Rolan had been angry at first but in the end he’d understood. Cal’s interest seemed to lie out in nature lately, he’d begun taking the stable portal that Rolan had made for Tav out to her homestead. While Tav was around Tower more, Cal helped to keep up around the farm and he actually seemed to enjoy coming home at the end of the day covered in dirt.

Tav went on about what a natural he was and before long, she paid him to maintain the crops and orchards while she saw more patients at the Tower. When the harvest came, there had been a notably higher crop yield that Tav attributed solely to Cal. He’d had an idea about what to do with the extras and so Lia and Dammon had built him a handsome rolling cart that he pushed around the upper city. With Tav’s blessing, Cal planned to sell the extra fruits, vegetables, and flowers from her farm.

Admittedly, Rolan hadn’t been thrilled about this idea when he’d first heard it. It’s not that he didn’t support Cal in his endeavors— he just worried. Baldur’s Gate had just barely allowed the Tiefling refugees within its walls and there was still a lot of small minded people who called the city home. He wasn’t sure how well a Tiefling selling produce would go over in the upper city.

Worse, it turned out his worries weren’t completely unfounded, for the very first week Cal wasn’t able to sell anything despite his best attempts. Before Rolan could get upset and storm off to the upper city to curse out the first posh person he found, Tav had volunteered to go with Cal the next time he went out. He was sure that having the “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” might help and if it didn’t, it didn’t hurt that Tav was prone to bursting into the form of a massive owlbear when provoked.

He smiled to himself as he thought about the only time he’d ever seen her in that form. He’d assumed the lovely Druid was simply a powerful spellcaster like himself. The unassuming human had always seemed so calm and patient, almost gentle. That was until she pieced together where the bruises and cuts all over his face had come from when they reunited in Baldur’s Gate after surviving Moonrise Towers and Last Light Inn.

Lorroakan had called him “boy” as he shouted his orders and threats to Rolan, during his former master’s fatal attempt at caging the Nightsong and gaining immortality. That had been the very last time the sham of a wizard had used that word. A howling screech had pierced the air and where the mild-mannered Druid had stood just a moment before, there was a full grown and very angry owlbear. Rolan had found himself staring, mouth agape as Tav took a vicious swipe at Lorroakan that had sent the sham of a wizard sprawling across his study.

Yes, Rolan was well aware she could handle herself but he still worried for her. Maybe that’s why he found himself so wistfully lost in thought today. He had felt a little under the weather as of late. Combined with waiting for Cal and Tav to return, it’s left him more distracted than he’d like to admit. But he hadn’t seen anyone running terrified through the streets of the city, so he assumed his beloved had gone unprovoked.

Snapping him out of his thoughts for good, Dammon strolled through the doors of the shop, his eyes searching the familiar space.

“Ah, Dammon! Lia is off at the market, you just missed her!”

“I know, actually, I was hoping to catch you and Tav for a chat, actually.”

“Oh? Well Tav should be back shortly — is everything okay? Is Lia okay?”

Rolan couldn’t help the edge of panic that laced his last question. He also noted how flustered Dammon appeared.

“What? No I mean, yes! Lia’s okay, she’s great”

“Then what’s this about, Dammon?”

Dammon sheepishly looked down, as if the answer to Rolan’s question were written on the floor of the Sundries.

“Well I —“

The laughter and excitement approaching the opened shop doors were the only warning the two men got before Cal excitedly dashed in and up to Rolan. Dammon’s sentence left unfinished, blessedly saved by the interruption.

“It went so well, Rolan! We sold everything for the day!” Cal blurted out with glee.

“And someone met a girl.”

He raised his head from Cal at the sound of his Tav’s sweet voice, she was just walking in the door and coming to stand beside Dammon.

“She’s not a girl! She’s a woman!”

Rolan shook his head at Cal as he walked around him to put his arm around Tav. His tail coiling around her ankle before he was even aware. Lately he couldn’t seem to be close enough to her, like no amount of skin contact would satisfy. It’s not that he wasn’t usually affectionate with her, but in public his affection was careful and calculated whereas lately it seemed almost impulsive, desperate, regardless of the location.

“Although technically, she’s a monk!” Tav laughed as she leaned into Rolan’s touch.

“One thing at a time, please!” Rolan said holding a hand up in defeat.

“Well Dammon was here first,” Tav laughed.

“Alright, I can be patient! Like a monk! I’ll go upstairs and wash up” Cal said as he retreated for the stairs.

Tav moved to leave as well but found his tail still coiled around her leg, with him unaware.

“Would you mind staying? Dammon wanted to talk to you as well,”

“Is that a request or a demand?”

“What? Oh! Sorry!”

It was his turn to blush as she spotted his tail where it was currently latched to her thigh and released his grip. He felt a sweat rise on his brow at the lack of contact with her.

“It’s fine, love, I’m just messing with you. What can we help you with Dammon?”

Tav turned back to the blacksmith who had used the time Cal had unconsciously bought him to steady his heart rate and steel his nerve.

“I was wondering, if we might talk in private? Please?”

Rolan lead them a private office off the main floor of the Sundries and shut the door behind them, trying to shake off the fluttering feeling in his stomach and the heat rising on his face.

Rolan and Tav sat together on a couch while Dammon leaned nervously against the desk. Silence permeated the air.

“What’s this about, Dammon?” Tav said sweetly, clearly sensing the man’s nervous energy.

His answer came out all as one word, blurted in a near-shout to the surprise of everyone in the room, Dammon included.

“IWantToMarryLia!!!”

CHAPTER TWO

“I… I want to marry Lia.” Dammon tried again, calmer and more collected.

When the blacksmith finally got the nerve to check the reactions to his news he found Rolan staring at him, jaw dropped. Tav watched Rolan closely, her eyes anxiously looking between the two men. Silence hung in the air like the smothering heat from an opened oven. Rolan felt the start of sweat forming on his brow and noticed his tail had once again wrapped around Tav’s ankle as if it had a mind of its own. Tav finally broke the silence.

“Dammon that’s great news! Isn’t it Rolan?”

“Why are you telling us!?”

Rolan’s question cut through the air with a sharp edge to it that was unmistakable. Not an angry tone, but certainly an irritable one. He felt Tav’s hand on his shoulder, both a gesture of support and a warning of his temper. He took a deep breath and reached up to touch her hand in acknowledgment.

“Well, I know we’re not in Elturel anymore and there’s not much left of home, but I wanted to be old-fashioned about this. I wanted to talk to her family first.”

Dammon blushed but he held Rolan’s gaze steady as he answered. Tav couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s so sweet! But wait, why am I here?” She asked.

“Well, Rolan is the oldest and you two live together so I thought it made sense to talk to both of—“

“We don’t live together” Tav interrupted.

��We don’t?!”

“You don’t?”

Dammon and Rolan’s responses came at the same time. The former’s was laced with anxiety and confusion and the latter with anger and confusion.

“You think we live together? You never even asked!” Tav snapped at Rolan, momentarily forgetting Dammon.

“I just assumed…”

“Oh Rolan, no.” It was Dammon who groaned the words and reminded them of his presence, wilting a little as both sets of their eyes fixed on him.

“Right, we’ll talk about this later… Dammon that is exciting news!”

Tav’s tone and smile seemed happy but both Dammon and Rolan noted the look of frustration in her eyes.

“Thank you for talking to us Dammon,” Rolan cleared his throat and awkwardly refocused the conversation back to the original topic, “I can hardly believe you’re being old fashioned now, you basically live together and you, erm, bit each other ages ago — could have gone without having to know that by the way but Lia had to put the mark so high on your neck, Gods, I can’t believe this is happening—“

“You’re rambling, Rolan”

Tav’s reminder was both loving and angry sounding at the same time.

“Right. Well, Congratulations are in order I guess.”

Rolan stood and exchanged an uncomfortable handshake with Dammon.

“Be good to her, please.”

Dammon smiled in response, his eyes a little misty. Tav stood next and gave Dammon a tight hug, tears were in both their eyes.

“And yes, do be good to her please. I’ve defeated the avatars of the Dead Three and I know where you live.”

Tav smiled sweetly when she pulled away and issued her threat. The Blacksmith gulped as the Druid made for the door and exited the office without acknowledgement of the other man, leaving the two alone in the cold wake of her exit.

A pain throbbed in Rolan’s side suddenly and he sat back down on the couch, wiping at the sweat on his brow.

“Getting to be that time, brutal,” Dammon said after taking stock of his appearance.

“What?”

“Oh, um, never mind.” Dammon pushed off the desk and made for the door.

“I was going to wait a little longer to ask, I wanted everything to be perfect. So, if both of you could keep a secret — Cal is such a blabbermouth,” He continued as he reached the door, turning back to look at Rolan on the couch he added, “I’ll wait a few weeks, you might need it”

Before Rolan could ask what he’d meant the blacksmith was out of the office with the door shut behind him. By that point a layer of sweat covered his entire body, causing his clothes and hair to cling to him uncomfortably. Another stab of pain throbbed in his gut.

“Fuck” He muttered to himself as the answer materialized before him. What Dammon’s cryptic words had meant and why he’d felt so off lately. It had almost been a year since his last and he and Tav had never talked about his ‘cycles’. He wasn’t even sure she knew about Tiefling mating cycles and he’d been too nervous to ask.

The timing couldn’t have been worse. There was so much to take care of and so little time before he’d be forced to take time off. By the feel of it he had a day at best. Standing with a groan he crossed the room to sit at his desk and pulled leaves of parchment from within the drawer with a well-practiced motion. He began writing notes to each employee of the Sundries with instructions for what to do while he was indisposed. Thanks to his hard work in the just over a year’s time since he’d taken over the Tower and his own instruction, he’d grown much stronger at magic than even he could have anticipated. What used to be complicated was now just a simple spell he would use to deliver the missives at the correct time and place.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- A few hours later, it is Tav who wakes him after drifted off into a feverish sleep at his desk. With the letters and spells completed, he’d begun getting ahead of the higher-level matters that required his attention. The first thing he’d noticed upon waking was her delicious smell. She’d always smelled amazing to him, like cedar and cinnamon, but this was something more. Her eyes are bleary with sadness.

“I’m sorry for just storming off and leaving earlier, I didn’t want to fight.”

“Me either”

“Rolan, you can’t just decide things without telling me. We have to have a conversation about these things”

“I didn’t just decide I simply thought we were living together, we’re always together and I just thought…”

Rolan trailed off with a frustrated sigh. Even as terrible as he was feeling he could see now where he’d missed the important step of asking Tav.

“Zurgan”

He ran his hands down his face, the gesture is one of both frustration and self-soothing.

“Tav I - I’m sorry”

His apology must have come too easy because she is immediately suspicious. Moving to take a closer look at him and bringing her intoxicating scent so close it was nearly unbearable.  His tail swished behind him with agitation.

“You’re sorry?! Are you feeling well? You look terrible, my love. Can I make you a cup of tea?”

He groaned. Zurgan, she smells amazing, she’s so beautiful, focus on her words you dolt. He could actually feel himself salivating in her presence and not over the thought of tea.

“Tea isn’t going to help this, my dear”

She sits down on his desk, next to where he’s working and glances at the discarded drafts of his notes and back to him. Does she know how beautiful she looks? Gods. It’s all he can do not to lunge at her and take her right on his desk.

“Rolan, are you…” She sighs, “Are you in rut?”

His mind is sent reeling in surprise and he makes an audible choking sound. How could she possible know about that?

“What?! How do you even know about that… Lia”

Rolan answers his own question before Tav could even open her mouth. Cursing his sister in silent frustration.

“Yes! But I’m also a healer, remember? Plus, you can hardly blame her. Awhile back, Cal literally vanished for two weeks after coming down quite ill and you acted like he’d gone on vacation. Honestly, I would have been angrier at you for never talking about it with me— but I guess I understand how talking about what your brother might be going through with me would be weird.”

Rolan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. Not sure what to say next and grateful when Tav pressed on.

“We should probably finish this whole debate on where I live once you feel better. It’s like getting really sick, right? Who will take care of the store? I need to help you”

“Lia’s more than ready to handle things without me, plus just in case I’ve left detailed letters with instructions and suggestions on how they might conduct themselves while I am away.”

Tav threw her head back and laughed at him. He used to hate it when she laughed at him. Before he’d ever worked up the nerve to kiss her all those months ago. After that moment he’d begun to love the sound of her laugh. But now, the sound of her laugh reached out and grabbed him by the heartstrings and tugged. The feeling reaching from his chest down to the deepest reaches in his gut where a fire was already smoldering.

He groaned at the sound of her laugh, biting his lip and tasting copper as he restrained himself in her presence. She studied his face from where she sat on the desk just above him in his chair, a look of concern on her beautiful face. Ever so softly, she reached out her hand to stroke his jaw and he groans in response. His tail immediately whipped out to wrap around her wrist to hold her close. She gasped in response.

“So, you know… everything?” He gritted out as his eyes searched hers with a desperate hunger. He rubbed his cheek into her hand, so needy for the contact. A blush had formed on her cheeks and stretched down to her chest where her breast heaved unconsciously at the charged question.

“I wouldn’t say everything… I know it’s a mating thing and that for some it’s rut and for others it’s heat, and that’s its really kind of painful and can be really disruptive to day-to-day life.”

“Is… Is that it?” He panted out, never taking his eyes off her.

“That’s not everything, it’s easier, less painful if you have a… partner to satisfy your… urges.”

Rolan could feel the heat rising to his cheeks as she explained. He needed her so badly it was already driving him crazy, and his rut hadn’t even fully started yet. Her thumb traced a gentle pattern on his cheek that felt as if she were working the very Weave with fingertips.

“And there are some… anatomical changes as well,” she added awkwardly while glancing away.

His tail had lowered her arm to her side and moved to coil around her waist to pull her closer. Her eyes widened as he drew her face to his.

“I hate to say this, but you should probably go back to your place until I can think straight again.”

Tav laughed right in his face. That beautiful devastating laugh reaching down into him once more and fanning the flames within.

“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. I’m not leaving you, my love”

“But…”

“That is unless you don’t want me… I don’t wish to intrude.”

Gods, she’s so good right down to her core. She is honey and sunshine, and I am the miserable wretch who craves her sweetness.  Her kindness only served to fuel the fire within him. He feels delirious with need, but he tries to steel himself. This isn’t true desperation; he knows desperation is what will happen once his rut has fully begun.

“It’s not that… I don’t want to hurt you”

“Hurt me?”

Her eyes widen in surprise, her breath is cool on his face relative to the heat that pours from his skin.

“You don’t understand, it might be dangerous for a human — I don’t know if I can be gentle with you under those conditions.”

She considers his words for a few moments before she responds. His mind is left to wander. All he can think about is fucking her, filling her over and over until one of them can take no more. Then he sees a light as if she’s realized something and he fills with dread — the Druid has always been abnormally astute in her observations of him.

“Have you ever gone through a rut with someone, Rolan?”

She says it nervously and glances away like she knows the truth and is giving him a moment of privacy. He can’t help but let out a sigh.

“No, I haven’t”

She looks back at him when he answers. The truth doesn’t cool the atmosphere like he thought it would, if anything she looks more interested, almost turned on by that thought.

“I trust you Rolan”

He’s on her in a second, closing the gap between their mouths with a hungry kiss. Using his tail around her waist, he draws her near so she is straddling him in his chair. It’s like bathing himself in her scent and it pushes him closer to the threshold of madness. His hands reach up to grab the sides of her face roughly, dominating the kiss. Their tongues meet with a savage energy and moans fill the once quiet room. Using the last reserves of sanity in his mind he wills himself to pull away.

“Tav…”

“Rolan if you want me, I’m staying”

She doesn’t even let him finish before she pants out her argument.

“Gods, I love you”

“I love you too”

She leaves a sweet kiss on his forehead, right between his horns — a place she knows will melt him every single time. How can he resist her?

“What if we head to your cottage? It can be just the two of us”

He suggests it as he mouths kisses on her neck, trailing up to her ear. A rush thrills through him when he hears her gasp of joy, and his tail tightens around her at the sound.

“Really?”

He nodded. Tav had wanted to take a long stay away from this city for some time and had talked about it many times. There had been a few opportunities where it looked like they might be able to — but between tragedy and obligations every attempt had failed. This would be his first rut he experienced with a partner — a special occasion in the life of any Tiefling and he wanted to make it special for her too.

“Of course, just give me a few more hours to finish up here and pack some things. You might want to give Cal the week off too, I’m sure Lia could use him around the store and…”

He trailed off when Tav winced as his point was well made. They wouldn’t want Cal around to hear or gods forbid see what they would be doing for the next week.

“Of course,”

The next forehead kiss she leaves made him wince, but the reaction is not one of pain or discomfort. As her lips connected with his skin it feels as if a jolt of pure energy radiates across his body from that very point. A near euphoria washes over his body unlike anything he’s ever experienced before. Hells, it feels good.

“Zurgan, Tav”

Rolan filled his lungs with a deep breath of air. Making one last desperate attempt to master himself, so he might have a shred of a chance of accomplishing what needed to be done before their “impromptu vacation.” It’s a mistake. The scent of her overpowers him and something primal is released as a result. “Mate, my mate” His mind screams it, but he refuses to give in, not yet. When he continues its forced sounding - through gritted teeth. 

“I need you to stay away from me until we leave. I can’t— “

Mate, my mate, so beautiful, need her, fuck her, fill her. He closes his eyes and struggles to continue.

“— I can’t think clearly when you’re around right now. I’m sorry.”

She dismounted his lap slowly. Peeling his tail away from where it was wrapped around her waist was a struggle -- he is reluctant to let go even if he needed it. Only after he heard her carefully cross the room, did he open his eyes once more. To find her by the door looking shy. A sense of emptiness filled him, her touch had eased some of the symptoms even in that short time and her absence was felt keenly.

“I’m sorry Rolan,”

“No need, love.”

Before she departed, they agreed to meet again at dusk ready to depart for their stay at her home outside the city. Awakened once more, Rolan still found himself struggling to focus. The sweet scent of his beloved is left behind on the desk where she had sat. As he works getting ahead on accounts, he caught repeated wafts which seemed to keep him in a constant state of arousal. Mate, my mate, fuck, fill, mate. His hardened cock strained against his pants as he worked. An uncomfortable and constantly nagging presence to deal with as he calculated costs and revenue projections in the ledgers before him.

When the accounts were finally finished, he sat back shakily still willing himself to ignore the constant presence of his arousal. After consideration, he had added a note in the book for Lia to double check his figures before they were finalized. Though he’d always prided himself on his brilliance in a way that some thought bordered on arrogance, he wouldn’t risk his responsibilities for any reason. Usually, he hardly required (and would sooner die before asking) anyone to check on his accounting. But there was a first time for everything. Humiliatingly, he was certain Lia would discover upon double-checking that most of the math he’d done today was in fact, wrong.

[unreliablesnake]

Goodbye (Vincent de Gramont x reader)

Note: A follow-up drabble for this.

For all you knew, Vincent hadn’t signed the papers before you left him for good. You could only hope he would come to his senses and do it before your lawyer arrived the next day, but either way, you knew he would do it once he accepted you weren't coming back.

You were heading to your seat in first class, already sipping a glass of champagne like you always did during these flights. But today you truly needed some alcohol. Yes, it was you who left him, but it still hurt to know it was over. You wanted to make it work, you truly did your best to accept him with every flaw of his, but you reached a dead end with him.

While the other passengers began to arrive, you pulled out your ebook reader and dived into the book you had begun to read a few days ago. It was a romance novel, although there were comedic elements that made it truly entertaining. It was nice to get lost in a world where a relationship was working and everyone was happy.

One of the flight attendants suddenly began to explain that there will be an unexpected delay, but you didn't make much of it until it was announced that the flight was cancelled and everybody had to get off of the plane. A mechanical issue, they said. But you had a bad feeling, that maybe it wasn't entirely true.

A man your age you had met on the plane kept you company as you made your way back, but you choked on your carefree laughter when your eyes landed on Vincent. You should have known, the whole last minute mechanical failure was so fake in retrospect. They would have known sooner, not two minutes before take off.

“Who is he?” he demanded, his eyes fixed on the poor guy on your side. “I thought you said you weren't seeing anyone.”

“I'm not seeing anyone, we only met on the plane.”

The man next to you shifted uncomfortably before saying, “I'll leave you two alone.”

“Thanks. Good luck with the wedding,” you told him with a warm smile, even waving as he walked away.

Your back was to your dear husband, and you were thinking about leaving him there. You didn't want to talk to him. There was absolutely nothing to talk about. Well, except for two things–the cancelled flight and the divorce papers.

With a sigh, you turned around and gave him a tired look. “Did you have anything to do with the cancellation of my flight?” you asked as you stepped a little closer.

“I can't just let you go like this, I had to do something,” was all he said, as if it was perfectly normal. “I won't sign those papers either. I love you. I don't want you to leave me.”

“Vincent, it's over. I don't want anything from you anymore.”

He bit on his lower lip before putting his hands on his hips and turning away for a moment. You could tell it truly hurt him. That wasn't your intention, you always hoped he would take it well. But he clearly didn't. All of a sudden you felt guilty for doing this to him.

But no, you couldn't give in. You couldn't let him manipulate you and make you stay somehow. The only direction you were willing to go from this airport was New York. Or hell, any other city in the States as long as you could leave. Paris was beautiful, but it wasn't your home anymore.

“Just one more night,” he suddenly said. “Stay for one more night and think it through.”

With a sigh, you put your hand on his arm as you stepped closer. “I'm not going anywhere with you. I loved you, I truly did, but it's over. Sign the papers. Please,” you asked him.

Silence fell between you, but you could tell he was about to say something. He probably wanted to object, but he didn't speak up because he now knew you wouldn't stay. But then he took a deep breath and said, “If you ever change your mind, if you want to come back, I'm here. I'll be waiting.”

Smiling at the thought, you stood on your toes and softly kissed him. “You deserve someone who loves you. I'm not that person anymore.”

“I'll miss you, love” he told you as he pulled you into a tight hug.

[willowser]

i received this lovely lovely lil thought from a lovely lovely anon in response to this question, and i think we ALL should get to enjoy it 🥹🩷

(Tw:Abuse / Manipulation (kind of; it's not overly gratuitous, but better safe than sorry))

Will! !! So I was thinking about your "would Bakugou chase after you, even after you're engaged" post (loved it! spinning it around in my head), and while I do think he'd probably let you go if you were truely happy with this other person, y'know what might change that? If this other person wasn't making you happy. (I’M SO SORRY FOR THE INCOMING WALL OF TEXT – please just delete if I’m being annoying!!) To explain; I think in this scenario, maybe you're still getting over a long-time unrequited crush (👀), and you're looking for something with a normal, sweet guy to help get over it. He's not the type you would usually go for, but he's nice enough (idk, maybe he has blonde hair, or red eyes, and maybe that makes it easier). And while you initially thought this would just be a short fling, it just kind of... gets away from you? A few dates turn into a few more, and then lots more and before you know it things are getting Serious. He's talking about moving in together, and you're taken aback by it (weren't you just starting to go out together? Isn't this too soon?). But it's not like you have anything real to complain about! He's not horrible to you or anything! He treats you well enough! It's just that you don't seem to feel anything... deep? for him. You don't daydream about a future together, you don't go out and wish he was there with you; Honestly, if he's not there with you, you don't think much about him at all (not the way you used to with him 👀). And hey, maybe sometimes (frequently) you end up doing things you didn't want to do, maybe he knows what to say to get you to acquiesce to his wants and needs, without coming across as manipulative. Or maybe you're just nervous! He isn't "rushing you long term commitments, which would dissuade you from leaving", the two of you are just caught up in a Whirlwind Romance! /Sarcastic. Being honest, that kind of thing grinds a person down after a while; you bend much more easily to his whims. He is, after all, so Normal and so Sweet - and how often do guys like that turn up? You'd be a fool to dump him now, now he knows you so well, and really. What are you expecting? Some Prince Charming(👀) to come and sweep you off your feet? Get real. So you get the flat together, and later on (though sooner than you'd like), you accept his proposal.

1 / 7 (I'm so sorry)

2/7 To my mind, this is the kind of diverging path for Bakugou. I think, if this was a genuine whirlwind romance, and it was recognised by the people around you, he'd probably back off. For all his brashness, he wouldn't want to hurt you by ruining your wedding day to the person you actually love. TBH I can kind of see him pining for you for the rest of his life, and hoping you become a widow/er so he get another shot to confess his feelings lmao. In that situation he could write off his own negative feelings towards your fiance as his own jealousy, right? If the fiance were actually bad for you, at least one other person from your respective friend group would notice. But!! I think that would change if his opinions were backed up by his friends (because it would demonstrate that it isn’t just his jealousy tarnishing his opinion of your boyfriend) Let's imagine that maybe he isn't the only one to think something Weird is going on. Maybe he's hanging out with Denki and Sero, because he's so obviously miserable about not confessing in time, and they're trying to cheer him up (it's been a month and he's mouldering. He is suffering). In walk Eijiro and Mina, who - while they were out getting snacks that Bakugou would never even consider eating if he wasn't in the depths of despair - just so happened to run into you and your new... boyfriend? Kind of? You seemed kind of reluctant to say the two of you were dating, but he seemed nice. Eijiro thinks he's kind of bland, and Mina knows you can do better (which she says both for Bakugou's ego, and because it's true), but nice enough. And you know, maybe, for the first time in a month, Bakugou stops sitting so rigidly. He doesn't slouch per se, no. He relaxes in the same way that tiger might relax before pouncing, in the way that a hunter might breathe out before pulling the trigger. A month of dating, and you still won't call the guy your boyfriend? When you'd introduced them to each-other (after your third date), Bakugou assumed it was his jealousy that made him hate the guy. Kind of boring, kind of pushy (a/n: no, he wouldn't clock the fact that he looks like off-brand Bakugou). He didn't think it would last too long, but it still felt bitter that that was the guy who beat him to the punch.

But seriously; a month of dating, and you still won't call the guy your boyfriend? That's... interesting >:)

3/7 So months roll by, and Bakugou keeps his eye on you. He flipflops between anguishing over his jealousy, and making sure that your “boyfriend” is treating you right. Of course, it’s made harder by the fact that he doesn’t see you that much any more. Your other friends notice it too; You’re not being kept inside your (shared) flat, but you always seem busy, and a bit tired. Ochako and Iida can usually grab you for lunch, Momo swings by your flat pretty often, but your social calendar seems so full now. Full of dates and outings with your new boyfriend. Apparently, you barely have a minute for someone you’ve been friends with since childhood.

It pisses Bakugou off to no end, but he’s keeping his distance (for now). Because the thing is, Bakugou – above anything else – respects you. If you want to waste your time on some loser, he’s not going to presume that he knows better for you! Bakugou’s many things but he’s not “fuckin’ presumptuous”. Besides, if you really were in dire straights, or needed help, you’d reach out. It’s not like you don’t still send him little messages every other day; memes you think he’ll like, little scenic photographs of your dates (conspicuously, your boyfriend is missing from every single one👀). He’s Fine. He can Be Patient. (Reader, he’s been seething for months).

4/7 HOWEVER. Flashing forward to The Proposal. I think it shakes him; firstly because the person he loves is getting married to another man, and he somehow thought you’d have ended it by now. But secondly because everyone else seems to agree that it’s weird! It’s way too soon for marriage to a guy that you don’t even seem to like all that much, and while everyone gently float their concerns to you that maybe it’s just a teeny tiny smidge too soon to get married (which you rebuff half-heartedly), the group-chat is popping the fuck off. It’s definitely too soon, this guy is Too Normal in a very weird way, they barely know him, the wedding is taking place really soon, they should stage in intervention (Eijiro&Tsuyu&Sero), they should kidnap you until you realise what a mistake it would be (Mina&Denki), they should kill him (Deku&Ochako&Iida), etc. It’s pretty weird, then, that Bakugou comes in as the voice of reason; you’re a grown up, and you can make your own decisions. If you really, genuinely want to marry him, that’s up to you; After all the freedom to make your own decisions comes with the responsibility to accept the consequences. (a/n: obvs it would be phrased in a far more Bakugou-esque fashion, but you get my point). So they relent, although they’re still concerned.

So maybe a few days before the wedding he sends you a message (because it’s tricky to get a hold of you in person); he just wants to know what you see in your fiance. He wants to know if you’re really serious about him, or if you’re just settling. It’s not phrased cruelly, but it’s blunt. The message he sends isn’t nice and sweet, but it’s honest, and it comes from a place of concern.

You read it and you don’t reply.

Flash forward again, and it’s the night before the wedding. Wedding Eve, if you will. Bakugou’s in a sour mood and tries to ease his pain by heading to a bar, but it doesn’t really get any better throughout the night. He’s conflicted now more than ever; Is this guy actually awful and bad for you, or is he just jealous? Is he not stepping in because he wants to be respectful of your wishes, or because he’s afraid that by doing so he’ll reveal his own feelings, and suffer the consequent (possible) rejection? Why didn’t he just tell you how he felt before this mess started? He has a few drinks to many, and falls into a dreamless sleep.

5/7 MERRY WEDDINGMAS. It’s the day of the wedding, and because of he hit the bottle too hard last night, Bakugou’s overslept (for the first time in his life, probably). He goes to check his phone – maybe he can still make it to the wedding the venue on time?-

TWO MISSED MESSAGES.

He didn’t realise, but last night you finally replied to his message: You don’t know if you want to get married to this guy.

It’s a long, winding message, but what it boils down to is this- You threw yourself into a relationship with someone you know you don’t really love (you like him well enough, but there’s no spark), because you’ve been spending years muddling your way through a hopeless crush on someone you think will never like you back. So you’ve let yourself go along with this guy, but now you’re on Wedding Eve, and you’ve never been so uncertain of yourself! Your fiance’s a sensible choice (He’s Bland, and he’s Pushy, but he’s Nice, and he’s Normal, but maybe you’re losing yourself in your relationship with him, but maybe you just have cold feet), but you’re not sure that you care any more, and it’s now or never, and it’s ‘You, Bakugou, It’s always been you’, and you’ve been too afraid to tell him, because when does real life play out like the films? When does the years long pining, the roller-coaster of emotions, the ‘I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you’, have a happily-ever-after in the real world?

The next message was sent a few hours later. Evidently, you’d calmed down somewhat, because you tell him that you’re sorry for sending him all of that on Wedding Eve, that you’ve had feelings for him for a long time, but if he doesn’t feel the same it would be the kind of closure you’d need to move on. If he doesn’t want to attend the ceremony, you’ll understand and leave him alone. But if he wants to “talk” (👀!!!), then you’ll be waiting for him.

Bakugou feels raw after reading your confession; All this time, and the two of you – despite sharing the same feelings – were so afraid, and for what? The relief, the fear, the hope, all spur him into action.

He’s hungover, he’s in his pyjamas, but all the same he’s rushing towards his expensive, fuel-efficient car as fast as he can, because he has a fuckin’ wedding to stop.

6/7 Meanwhile, you’re stressed, mentally twisting into knots. Bakugou didn’t even read the messages you sent last night, which is both a relief (now you can just get married and move on) and a heart wrenching disappointment (because if you’re being honest with yourself, you were hoping he’d stop you).

You’re wearing an outfit you don’t really like, and your fiance’s family are beaming at you, although you don’t really know them so well. The venue is pleasant but not what you would’ve chosen for yourself. As you walk down the aisle, the band sounds kind of off. Your family and friends are… what? Grimacing? Smiling? Both Smimacing? You aren’t sure.

The ceremony passes in a kind of blur, and you go through the all motions. Mostly, you think of the messages you’d sent to Bakugou. You’d felt so courageous when you finally – finally! - confessed your feelings to him, so hopeful that maybe instead of replying, you’d hear a knock at your door, and he’d sweep you off your feet and- then hours had passed without a word, and you’d been left wondering. Conflicted, and unsure.

As you wait for your fiance to finish his vows (that he wrote himself, but sound like he stole them from a Pinterest board), however, you have a mild epiphany. Did it really matter so much if Bakugou loved you back? Sure, it’d break your heart, but one day you’d heal from it. Besides, he wouldn’t want to settle for some nobody! Bakugou was loyal to his friends, and he wanted the best for them, and that was one of the things you loved most about him! Surely, you owed it to both him, and more importantly, yourself, to put an end to this madness!!

You steel yourself as it gets to That Part of the wedding. The officiant turns to you, and asks if you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband. You face your fiance, and open your mouth to say “Actually…. I DON’T” when-

The doors slam open, and who’s standing there in a matching pair of pyjamas, still holding his car keys? It’s Bakugou, and you only have to lock eyes with him for him to shout – in true romcom fashion – ‘I FUCKIN’ OBJECT’.

7/7 Everyone’s stunned, although the guests on your side of the venue look more thrilled than scandalised.

In truth, I wouldn’t normally peg Bakugou as the “Objecting at a wedding” type, but in this scenario – when the two of you have been pining for so long, when he knows you’d appreciate the spectacle, when he gets to show up that nobody who wasted your time for so long – I think maybe he’d make an exception. Maybe he wouldn’t make some long, protracted speech about how much he loves you, but he MIGHT run to the alter full tilt, and tell you that you’re making a mistake. I do think MAYBE he’d hold out his hand to you, a silent question in his eyes, all while your fiance sputters and rants.

Idk, maybe you say something to the effect of “Looks like he beat me to the punch – I object, too :)”, tell your ex-fiance you’re sorry, but you can’t do this. PERHAPS – after all of the years of wondering, and stressing about whether Bakugou would reject you – you’d just quietly take his hand. And maybe to two of you would scamper off down the aisle to the raucous applause of your friends and family, get into his hatchback or w/e, and drive off into the sunset, certain in the knowledge that – yes, there would be ramifications to running off together like this, but that whatever might come your way you’d face it together! MAYBE.

Idk, I just feel like if he was going to confess his feelings for you after you’d already been engaged, it might be in the form of kissing the back of your hand, pulling off your cheap, shitty engagement ring, throwing it out of the car window, and going for a long drive so you two can finally Talk.

Listen, this really got away from me, and I’m so sorry for flooding your inbox like this. I was just really caught up in the scenario, and wanted to share it with you. Much love 💖

[alj4890]

Processing and Developing

(Ethan x F!MC) (Tobias Carrick x F!MC) in a Choices Open Heart one shot.

Taken from Book 3, Ines's wedding reception.

This one's for you, @jerzwriter 😉 I haven't forgotten our need for more Tobias. It's not good, but I finally broke the writer's block, LOL!

Masterlist

A/N I finally wrote something! 🤣 This idea came about last night when replaying Book 3. I always opt to have my MC, Chris, take a photo of just her and Tobias at Ines's wedding reception. Originally, I hoped this scene would open up a romance option with Tobias. Sadly, PB didn't give it to me, LOL, so this is how I wish things had gone down canon wise.

"You look like you could use this."

Chris turned around at the familiar voice. Her eyes darted over how handsome the man before her looked dressed to the nines in his blue suit. Humor lurked in the hazel depths of his eyes as he in turn noticed her taking every inch of him in.

Tobias exaggerated clearing his throat. He held up the two fruity cocktails in his hands and playfully shook one.

Chris smiled in response while reaching for the glass that had cherries and a pineapple spear sitting on the rim.

Tobias lifted it out of her reach.

He clucked his tongue in mock disapproval. "Hold on. You know what you have to do to earn this."

Chris's smile dimmed. She wasn't certain if it was the fact they were guests at Ines's romantic Hawaiian wedding or that her hopeful imagination was getting the better of her again. Something though was different between Tobias and herself. The pair had always bantered back and forth and enjoyed the sharp wit of the other. Somehow along the way, the teasing took on a slight sexual edge.

She couldn't help but think he was attractive. Even when she first deemed him the enemy the year before, she found him incredibly sexy. Now that she was coming to know the type of man he truly was, she knew she was falling hard for Tobias.

She wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Tobias had been playing the long game with Chris. He'd thought her cute the first time he'd seen her at Leland Bloom's home. Going head to head with her and Ethan had been one of more enjoyable aspects of his job. Each time he saw her after that, though she glared at him, made him want to know her even more.

After the attack, her attitude changed towards him. He found himself the recipient of her warm smiles and good natured teasing. Even while fighting for her life, she never lost her sense of humor.

He admired her spirit, her mind, and to no one who knew him's surprise, her body.

The moment he joined Edenbrook's diagnostic team, he was finally able to see if his brief impressions of Chris were accurate. The more time he spent with her, the more he saw why there were a few at Edenbrook with feelings for her. She made it easy to fall head over heels.

Normally, he'd have already made his move. Given their close work relationship and the fact he suspected Ethan and Chris had an interesting past, he held back. When it came to Chris, he didn't want any competition, whether it be a literal person or one of secret pining for said person.

If things were to work out like he thought, he'd want Chris's heart and mind for himself. There would be no other way he could be with her.

It's odd, he thought to himself. Normally I'd be all for having her without any expectations or even caring if she wanted someone else.

But now...

"What do I have to do?" Chris interrupted his thoughts.

A slight blush graced her cheeks from the way he was looking at her.

Tobias pointed towards the photo booth.

One look at his suspicious smile made Chris double over with laughter.

"You found the box of props, didn't you?" She asked between giggles.

"You bet I did." He chuckled. "What do you say we drag Ethan and Harper in there and get a team photo."

"You really think you can get Ethan to don a wig and clown nose?" She asked.

"Nope." He grinned at her. "Even I'm not that persuasive."

"I don't know," she teased. "From my experience, you have quite a way about you."

Her smile grew the longer she looked at him.

"You've already got me agreeing to not only get in that photo booth, but also help you convince our more serious team members to join us."

"Then my charm is finally being used for good." He handed her a cocktail with a wink. "Let's take a dose of liquid courage and make our attack."

*************

"No." Ethan told them. "I prefer to keep my dignity intact."

"Dignity is overrated." Tobias teased.

Harper shook her head over that statement. "I'm all for a team photo, but I would like it to represent us in a more positive, respectful light."

Chris rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I think having such a picture would show our patients we're people too, ones with an excellent sense of humor."

"Our patients don't care about whether or not we have a sense of humor." Ethan argued. "They only want us to make them feel better. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Spoil sports." Tobias muttered. "Well Chris, it's up to me and you to show these two how to have fun."

Harper snorted in amusement. "I'll take my fun with getting another drink."

She waved goodbye on her way to the open bar.

Before he could engage the pair in a conversation, Ethan watched as Tobias grabbed Chris's hand and dragged her into the booth. His brow furrowed when he noticed they'd forgotten to grab props for their fun photo.

Curious about what they were doing behind the closed curtain, he went to watch the line of photos start to appear.

The first photo was of the two of them laughing. The second one had a more normal smile. The third one made him pause. The pair were looking at each other in a way he didn't want to contemplate. In fact, the image showed that Tobias was looking at the young lady beside him as if seeing her for the very first time.

Ethan's feelings for Chris had never died. If anything, they'd gotten stronger over time. He worked hard to keep things professional and continued to keep her at arm's length. It was difficult given how often they were together at work, but he knew it was for the best.

The fourth picture made his heart sink. The two in the booth were closer than before with heads tilted as if they were about to--

"Ethan?"

He spun away from his worst fears developing in the fifth picture. Harper eyed him for a few seconds before moving to see what held his attention.

Her eyes widened over the photograph of Tobias and Chris sharing a passionate kiss.

"Oh!" She exclaimed. "I had no idea they were together."

A muscle spasmed in Ethan's jaw.

"Excuse me." He bit out.

He left the reception with quick strides. The sound of the waves hitting the shore nor the warm breeze blowing did little to calm the emotions roiling within. He wished his curiosity had not gotten the better of him. Tonight could have ended with him simply dreaming about all the things he would have liked to have done with Chris if they'd been a couple.

Ethan briefly closed his eyes. He knew exactly how their night would have gone.

He would have been her date to the wedding. There would have been hints that one day they might like to have a destination wedding like Ines and Angie. They'd have spent the reception basking in the romantic atmosphere. Slow dances would have been shared. Flirting would have led to them slipping away shortly before the cake was cut.

Chris would have teased him that he better make it up to her for missing out on wedding cake. Ethan would have done so with a moon lit walk on the beach followed by retiring to their shared suite. He'd then have spent the entire night making love to her, proving that his heart was fully hers.

Ethan shook himself out of his pointless thoughts. He'd made his choice two years earlier. He could have had everything he wanted if he'd only considered that Chris was different from any other woman he'd known. Now he was left with longing for what might have been.

He eased into the shadows when he heard footsteps combined with Chris's laughter approaching.

"And just where are you taking me, Dr. Carrick?" Chris asked with a flirty lilt to her voice.

"Someplace where we can't be interrupted." Tobias paused to pull her back into his arms.

The two shared a deep kiss.

A moan, Ethan recalled all too well having once in his life caused, slipped out of Chris. That sound was embedded in his mind. He never imagined hearing another man cause it. It hurt worse than he could have imagined, knowing it wasn't because of his own lips touching hers.

"I think I know what's going to happen when we get behind a locked door." She said softly, all teasing gone. "But what happens when the sun rises?"

Ethan winced at the memory of Chris asking him that very question years ago. After a night proving how perfectly they fit together in every single fashion, he responded that they would go back to their lives as if nothing had happened between them.

He couldn't see his former best friend and roommate wanting anything more than a one night stand. Perhaps, Ethan could still hold on to what he longed for most in this world.

Tobias shocked him with his response.

"I will take you out for breakfast." He pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "That way we can talk about our new relationship."

Chris stilled.

"Relationship?" She asked hesitantly.

"I want more than tonight with you." Tobias held her close. "I want you to be mine, no one else's."

Ethan watched Chris's face fill with joy. With a slight gasp, she kissed Tobias with all the love she'd kept for the one who could give her what she wanted.

The new couple hurried into the hotel.

Ethan moved out of the shadows. He couldn't quite wrap his head around all that had occurred within the last hour.

Why didn't I ask Chris to dance earlier? Why didn't I agree to do the asinine picture? Would it have stopped her getting with Tobias?

He knew that Bryce had gone after Chris. Seeing them together hadn't hurt. Bryce was completely different from Ethan. Though they were both doctors, their studies didn't line up. He knew he'd never have Bryce's fun loving swagger. In his eyes, he knew it wasn't a competition between them for Chris's affection.

With Tobias, it was a huge blow to Ethan's ego. The two were too similar. Both were highly intelligent, loved the mystery diagnostics allowed them to pursue, and they had similar temperaments.

"Not anymore." Ethan muttered to himself.

Tobias had changed these last ten years. He still was driven with his love of a good mystery, but he no longer lost his temper as quickly as he once had. There was no need to one-up Ethan over every single thing.

Ethan realized that Tobias had become a man he would actually enjoy being close to again.

How could he now? The man was with the woman he desperately loved.

"There you are!" Harper jogged up the path.

"Looking for me?" Ethan asked.

"I was worried about you." She admitted.

"I'm fine." He replied.

"Ethan." She gently touched his cheek. "It's me. You know you can talk to me. I can see you're upset."

He blinked, stepping away from her.

"I'm not upset." He snapped.

Her eyes narrowed. "I saw you and I saw what happened in that photo booth."

Ethan stiffened after shoving his hands in his pockets. He tried to walk away from someone else confirming his heartache. Harper was having none of it.

She placed a hand on his chest and stepped directly into his path.

"I saw, Ethan." She repeated. "I've seen how you look at Chris. Does she know you're in love with her?"

Ethan averted his eyes. Shaking his head, he heaved a deep sigh.

Harper softened her tone. "Why didn't you tell her?"

"There were many reasons." He muttered. "Though, none of them seem important now."

"You could still tell her." Harper argued. "What we saw was probably nothing more than just two people giving in to the romance of the evening. Tomorrow you can--"

He shook his head, silencing her halfhearted attempt to cheer him up.

"It's too late." He swallowed. "I've uh, I've burned a lot of bridges between me and Chris."

He glanced up at the hotel, wondering which room she was in.

"Someone else came along and gave her what she wanted."

Harper wrapped her arms around him in a comforting hug.

He didn't return it. After a few seconds, he untangled himself from her embrace.

"Ethan? It will get easier."

"Perhaps." He conceded. "For right now, I need to be alone."

He began to walk inside of the hotel. He knew it would be a torturous night in his lonely suite. He anticipated having many miserable nights the next few months since he now possessed front row seats for Chris and Tobias's new relationship. He knew deep down that no matter how much time passed, his heart would never fully heal.

When it came to Chris, it would always hurt.

[possumcollege]

CW: Twitter 😑

It's only "different" because it's been pathologized by a culture that wants it to be so that something very specific can be enshrined as "normal."

That isn't inseparable. It's an imposition.

There's nothing queer people do or experience in relationships that cis/het people don't as well. We just got saddled with the baggage of not passing muster in the eyes of a culture that prefers to transmit generational wealth and power via birthrates, bloodlines, racial purity, laws of inheritance, and commodifying its marriageable children.

Straight people are just as kinky, promiscuous, slutty, or flamboyant as queer people are said to be. They get relationship anxiety, jealousy, confusion,  have crises of identity, indecision, and trust. Queer people can be just as reserved, religious, driven to settle down, become parents, nest as conservatives pretend all straight people are. We all age and change, connect and drift apart.

Are some of those things "more prevalent" among queer people specifically, or is that also true of members of marginalized groups? That doesn't make it OK. Or are straight people just better at passing? Is the normal normal because it reduces your profile, attracts less attention, because it makes an exceptional camouflage?

Queer families are just families too. Only about 15% of US families fit the nuclear, man+woman on their first marriage w/ 2.whatev kids. Most American families rely on relatives, friends, neighbors to care for their kids. Found family is not actually, objectively, functionally different than biological family. Children of divorced people often end up with 2 moms and/or dads. Sometimes more with multiple divorces. Why is a polyamorous family so different?

Love is kindness and generosity and care and community. Sometimes it's attraction, romance, sex, or platonic friendship. People date, marry, pal around, collaborate, support, protect, encourage, comfort, and mourn eachother because humans are loving social animals. Love is vague.

Love isn't math. There's no specific order of operations if yer doin' a queer one

The difference is wedding vs birthday cake. They're both cake. A wedding cake can be huge and extravagant as all hell, or small and informal. A birthday cake can be a bespoke work of art, or cost $4. All are cake. Nothing to debate.

'Cept I seen a few made of donuts.

That's cake too though. The "difference" is that people get to treat you like shit with more or less impunity in some places because of it. It's like kicking a party out of a venue because the owner thinks their donut cake is disrespectful, perverted, or wrong.

Donut cake ain't hurting anyone in a way that matters. Its "difference" is that it makes some people angry or uncomfortable. That discomfort builds a sense of solidarity, community, and discrete subcultures among "traditional" cake purists. It also builds solidarity, community, and subcultures among donut cake consumers, providers, and allies. It's different but it isn't. It's a cake. Made of donuts. If that angers you, your anger is not the donut cake's fault.

I see and acknowledge that OP almost tried to clarify stunting about cultural acceptability but then it became, "that's just being a minority! 🤷‍♂️"

Minorities in America are still supposed to be people.

What matters is how that difference gets used against people who are only very technically doing something wrong in the minds of others. That outrage isn't harm. It isn't even a threat of harm because the average donut cake supporter does not give a damn if others don't want one at their own party. Queer people don't want to criminalize cis/het people. There are however, straight people who sincerely want to forcibly convert or execute all queer people, and think we should have done it yesterday. They'd be happy to start tomorrow.

The reality of queer love being the same but fucked-with is worth debating. It's something more people support than don't. That's why the debate has led to us having any status as real people. We advocate for ourselves because there aren't enough of us willing to kill/die to force the state to knock it off. Living takes priory over revenge and punishment.

The problem is that sincere conversation with the possibility of conservative representatives actually lending material support to validating the lived experience of millions of people feels impossible right now. Part of what makes that such a generations-long struggle is the persistence that queer people are inherently different and serving their interests diverts resources from "normal" people.

It's the entrenched idea of difference that isn't my fault that allows employers, corporations, schools, doctors, insurers, representatives, government to say, "I don't have to do anything for you," or "I'll do it, but it'll cost you more because it's more work than only serving normal people."

It's all just love, but the way we experience and practice love renders us ineligible for rights and protections that are only really conferred to legally married people, and those rights and protections are effectively social safety nets, serving functions our state otherwise refuses to provide. It's the Nationalist myth of the homogenous ethnostate where the right kind of citizens are rewarded for making more of the right kind of citizens with the treat of maybe not being sick and poor and ignored beyond your value as labor forever.

Love is love. Expanding our understanding of it doesn't dilute or contaminate it, it just de-stigmatizes a lot of ultimately harmless behavior, and deprives behavior that is demonstrably harmful and predatory of its "normal" camouflage.

[rosystardust]

I don't know what to write, so here's all my current Good omens ideas. Please suggest which one I should write in the comments. You guys can take the summaries and write a fic based on my ideas, I don't mind. Just please share it with me, I would love to read it.

I've started writing most of these, I just can't decide what I want to write first. If you want me to write more than one, please put them in the order of what you want me to write first.

Title: My favorite Starman

Summary: Aziraphale realizes that Crowley can't see the stars, as a special punishment when he fell. So Aziraphale visits Anathema and asks her to help because she's a witch. They eventually make a magic pair of glasses that allow Crowley to see normally. Aziraphale is excited to give it to him, and Crowley tells Aziraphale all about the stars he made.

Title: You're human, more than anything

Summary: When the Gabriel amnesia thing was over, and in this au Aziraphale stays, Heaven and Hell decide on what Crowley and Aziraphale's punishment will be. They eventually decide to take both their memories and keep them from leaving Earth, with only a vague idea that they know each other (cause that's part of their subconscious and they can't find out how to remove it). Unfortunately it backfires and they get together and rebel even more. Gabriel and Beelzebub end up going to Earth, and have to take care of the situation that heaven and hell made before the two gain their memories back and get pissed off and probably start a war.

Or: Aziraphale and Crowley have always been human more than anything else. Now they have to live as humans as punishment for what they did with Armageddon after killing them didn't work. Like everything Heaven and Hell do with the two of them, it backfires.

Title: God actually does play dice with the universe, just not in the way you'd think

Summary: God finally decides to talk to Aziraphale and Crowley and invites them to a game night, to play her Ineffable game of her own design, with Her, Mary, and Jesus. Aziraphale agrees automatically, but Crowley agrees on the condition that he can ask however many questions he wants. God agrees and they play. Turns out the game god plays with the universe is DND. And Crowley gets an apology and Aziraphale gets to hear that he made his mom proud. Aziraphale and Crowley learn that God ships them, and then they play DND. Chaos ensues and family bonding time happens. And the Ineffable husbands get married with God officiating the wedding.

Title: The angel fucking Gabriel

(This is very much a crack fic)

Summary: Every few hundred years, Gabriel asks Aziraphale to fuck him. The first time was him questioning why humans like sex so much, and going to Aziraphale because Aziraphale knew more about humans, and, presumably, about sex. And Aziraphale told Gabriel “If you want to know about sex, why not just have it with me? We're both Angels so it's not like it'd be a sin.” (Because Gabriel was annoying him and if he agreed he could hold it over could hold it over his head, but he never thought he'd agree) Gabriel, surprisingly, took him up on it, and ended up finding it extremely enjoyable, and since Gabriel had no idea what to do, he was the bottom. Aziraphale obviously told Crowley afterwards and he thought it was hilarious. Gabriel, embarrassed about it, asked Aziraphale to do it a few more times, till they just went into a routine, where whenever Gabriel is extremely stressed out, Aziraphale would fuck him senseless. Aziraphale and Gabriel have an agreement of no romance or romantic feelings, and Aziraphale has made it clear to Gabriel that he's in love with and dating Crowley. Gabriel doesn't care. And occasionally Crowley asks Aziraphale to fuck him as hard as he fucks Gabriel.

Or: Aziraphale fucks the morality into Gabriel. And occasionally, Crowley.

Title: Ineffable divorce gone wrong

Notes: Based on this Tumblr post:

Summary: So what if this was true and the bookshop was semi sentient and didn't want Aziraphale to leave, so it ends up locking the two in, and shuts all the curtains (for privacy). Eventually the Metatron gets annoyed enough from waiting and just goes to his plan B, and ends up leaving the two in the bookshop, thinking Aziraphale is staying there willingly. However, inside, the two have been busy arguing and fighting, and eventually they feel that the Metatron’s presence has left, so Aziraphale breaks down in tears but still won't admit to Crowley what happened in fear of retaliation (even though at this point the Metatron gave up on the two of them, but they don't know that yet) They keep fighting, and eventually end up stop talking to each other, as they're both angry. It stays like that for a few days, till the bookshop decides that just locking them in the entire shop isn't enough, and waits till they're in the upstairs flat’s bedroom together, and locks them there. They end up still refusing to talk for a while but then end up hate fucking and confessing their love before fucking again with both times having enthusiastic consent while not being safe or sane in the slightest. After they wake up the next day, everything is unlocked again, and they go out on a date. Both Bentley and Bookshop are extremely happy that their parents are finally together. Bookshop’s nickname is Az and Bentley's nickname is Bee.

Name: Aziraphale's diary

Summary: What Aziraphale would write in his diary, specifically about the times he spent with Crowley. This is an au where Aziraphale is just slightly less oblivious and pays attention to his love sensitivity thing to know that Crowley loves him. He loves Crowley back but he's scared of heaven's reaction so he doesn't say anything outright and they're both terrible at giving and picking up on social cues. Beginning will be either when Crowley comes back to the bookshop post season 2, and remembers Aziraphale has a diary and reads it, or just Aziraphale's diary entries throughout the years. Not going to be all journal entries, but most of it will be. If I choose the Crowley angst side, Aziraphale will have agreed to let Crowley read his diary only if he went to heaven for a prolonged period of time and he missed him. I will write interactions not from the show in the diary of what I think would have happened in those eras or just things I want to include.

Title: Crowley's dream about what he likes best (Aziraphale)

Summary: After Aziraphale leaves, Crowley decides to sleep for a while, and Aziraphale notices and does the whole thing of “You will wake having had a lovely dream about whatever you like best”, and has a very long dream about if Aziraphale was actually in a relationship with him. When Aziraphale wakes him up, all he wants to do is go back to sleep and go back to his dream world. He knows it's not real, but he doesn't care because he knows damn well that it's the closest thing he'll get to actually having Aziraphale. Or so he thinks.

Title: I'm telling mom

Summary: After the failed Armageddon, Gabriel (or another archangel) reports directly to God and tells her that it was Aziraphale and Crowley's fault and that they're both traitors. So God decides to check in on them and sees Aziraphale having a PTSD esc panicked attack caused by a nightmare of memories of him being hurt by heaven. Crowley is doing his best to comfort Aziraphale, and lets him sob about it before he gently fucks Aziraphale and gives him a shit ton of praise, affirmations, and shows him just how much he matters to him. He tells Aziraphale how he deserves to be happy and how he'll protect him from heaven and make sure they never so much as touch him again. After that, and Crowley's magnificent aftercare, Aziraphale is calmer, and since it's like five in the morning now, Crowley makes Aziraphale breakfast. God sees all of this and visits them after their breakfast to talk. Aziraphale is terrified, Crowley is protective, and God sees how much they truly love each other and the Earth and thinks it's adorable, so she gives them a pass. She also officially marries them out of nowhere, and offers to make Crowley an angel again, but he declines, and God leaves. Aziraphale and Crowley, having no idea what to do now, spend the day finding wedding rings and going on a date, and at night Crowley fucks him again, much rougher, but just as loving and with just as much praise. Aziraphale, in his blissful post orgasmic state, tells Crowley he can't wait to be his husband (they're engaged), and Crowley's heart melts, and then they go to sleep in each other's arms.

Title: It's time for the show

Summary: Based on this post I made: https://www.tumblr.com/rosystardust/764188315220049920/why-can-i-imagine-an-au-where-terry-pratchett-just?source=share

Aziraphale finds the good omens show, watches it, then finds the fandom, and sees that everyone ships ineffable husbands and starts flirting with Crowley. Crowley is going insane, thinking he's reading too much into it, and Aziraphale is laughing in the background, waiting for him to find out. This could be the other way around or both do it at the same time. (I think I'm gonna go with Aziraphale finding it, because Crowley is already head over heels in love with Aziraphale and knows it in this story, he's just waiting for a sign from Aziraphale that he feels the same.)

Title: Lessons on love

Summary: When Gabriel and Beelzebub start dating, Gabriel suggests that they ask Aziraphale and Crowley to help them figure stuff out. And then they promptly realize that Aziraphale and Crowley fucking hate them, but they realize it when they get to Aziraphale's shop. And since it's too late to back out now, they just stalk them. After a few months, the catch them and Aziraphale bitches at Gabriel while Crowley looks on with hearts in his eyes. They do eventually agree. Or, they see that Aziraphale and Crowley aren't dating and are idiots so now they plot to get the two together and then ask for relationship advice.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello! I hope you don’t mind writing this scenario of Illumi protecting his lover from his family. Let’s say Illumi is going to marry reader, but his family doesn’t approve and decide to kill her. Illumi then betrays/ fights his family to protect his lover with his life.

If this is unacceptable, I can send another one. Thank you!!

Hm, while i don't see him fighting his parents, his brothers are a different question. I actually have a really twisted idea but I'll just leave that to the side, here's one of the ideas I had!

Illumi x fem!reader: Family fight

You were formally in a relationship with the eldest son of the Zoldyck family. This fact alone placed you on a high pedestal but also an extremely shaky one. One moment you could be given anything you wished, whether that was an expensive car or a wonderful dress, but you could have all of that taken away (and your life too) if you couldn't live up to their expectations. Illumi had picked you, out of all of the other women he could have chosen - you had to live up to it.

The training was brutal. Though you were a skilled nen user (one who used to work as a bounty hunter), the constant waterboarding and poisoning you went through made you sick. On some occasions, you wondered if it was better to attempt an escape and just get killed off by Mike or a butler. But Illumi made sure you wouldn't, he was constantly around you and "making sure" you were being treated well.

He gave you a twisted form of romance; hugs that were too tight, words of affection that came across as condescending, kisses that made your lips bleed. It was confusing, but you knew he was trying his best. You had agreed to be in a relationship with him, so you had to accept it somehow. It's just that you missed seeing the outside world, something that wasn't accessible to you until you completed your training.

"You know you're going to get married, it's better to just accept your life for what it is instead of trying to run away," Illumi told you one night. How did he read your mind? Who knows, he was always staring as if he could see your soul anyways.

Things got better after a few months, and Illumi was starting to open up to you. You two were able to visit cafes when he had the chance, and you got better at ingesting poison in your dinner. Things seemed to be going well, even Kikyo was delighted she would become a mother in-law. Everyone seemed to approve of your place in the Zoldyck household.

Everyone but Milluki.

He was a regular kid, at least in your eyes. Sure he had weird interests but he was fairly normal. He didn't seem to have issues with you at first, but after a while he started to resent you. The reasoning was unclear, but you assumed it had to do with how you were treated like family when you weren't married yet. He might've been a bit jealous at the fact that Illumi had a wife too.

You didn't know there would be a fight in the house until you heard a loud bang from upstairs. You were sitting with Silva, going over what you had to do for the wedding when the ceiling shook.

"...I'll go check," you bowed at your soon-to-be-father-in-law and ran up the stairs. You were sure Killua wasn't back yet from his walk outside, and Kalluto was with Kikyo. Zeno, Illumi, or Milluki was the culprit behind this loud noise.

"Illumi? Are you there?" You asked when you reached the top floor. That was when an explosive landed right next to your head and latched itself onto the wall. You turned around and quickly jumped back as the bomb activated. The pressure from the attack thankfully didn't reach you.

"Milluki, are you really that dense?" you heard a familiar voice from the darkness in the hallway. It was hard to tell, but you were sure Illumi was holding a few needles.

"I told you, she's not even a Zoldyck yet, she barely passed the flame test last week. I don't see why mama and papa wouldn't dispose of her!"

You bit your lower lip, knowing you weren't in the position to argue. There was a hierarchy you had to follow and he wasn't wrong: you had yet to become a real family member.

"Hold your tongue and I might spare your limbs," Illumi walked out of the shadows, he didn't have a single scratch on him. Though you had to note a slight burn on his arm, likely from an explosion. Milluki was shockingly good at explosives.

"Like hell I would!" Milluki responded. He looked as if he was going to lunge at his older brother, a death wish in your opinion. As you braced yourself for some blood, you felt a woosh of air and someone was running down the stairs.

"He...ran off," you looked at Milluki fleeing the scene. Glancing back at your fiance, you asked if he was alright.

"Hm? Oh, this isn't anything to worry about," Illumi said, pointing at the burns. He also flicked a piece of wood lodged in his shoulder away. "Are you alright?"

It was the first time he had asked that, which made you feel a little uneasy. For some reason, a Zoldyck asking about your well-being felt like a threat.

"Ah, yeah I'm alright," you avoided eye contact and looked at the burnt wall next to you. "I was talking with Silva earlier when I heard an explosion."

"Yeah that was us, Milluki was just acting childish," Illumi said. He moved passed you and told you to get back to your planned schedule, which meant he wanted you to check up on Kikyo. Without a word, you followed his order and left the upper floor.

That incident wasn't really big, in fact the parents laughed it over when you explained what happened. While it was nice to see Illumi defend you, see how the parents accepted you into the family, there was a panic that never left your mind. You place in Zoldyck family could be erased at any given point, so all you had to do was follow their orders. Even as a member of the family, you felt like an outsider.

[melrosing]

Ok speaking of changes GOT made… is there any changes you like? I struggle to find big moments, but there are small additions I love. Like Ned praying before he dies, Robb hitting the tree when he finds out, the chemistry that Kit Harrington and Rose Leslie have…. But there are very few structural changes I think improve the story.

hmmm so I can't lie there is a LOT I just don't remember anymore about the show, so wringing my mind a little to come up with something.....

I won't mention things that I think were adapted well (like Ned's execution) as those aren't adaptational changes. and I also won't mention things that I like the idea of (e.g. Jaime's dyslexia) but not the execution (they made out it was part of the longrunning 'stupidest Lannister' joke).

and like.... well I'm stuck already lmao?? I'm not even trying to shit on the show I just feel like it was a consistent exercise in either understating GRRM's work or butchering it entirely. so I can think of only a few things:

I can't find the link to where I talked about this at length but the scene in which Jaime and Ned duel in the streets of KL was a good one imo. I think it was more in character for Jaime to just recklessly fight Ned himself, and a neat parallel to what I suspect will happen between Ned, Arthur and Howland - in that when Ned is attacked from behind by one of Jaime's men in the midst of their fight, Jaime angrily ends the duel bc his man has essentially dishonoured it. I think Ned's fight with Arthur will end as it did in the show (with Howland stabbing Arthur from behind and Ned finishing the job, bc he needs to reach Lyanna), and this is like a parallel to show Jaime and Ned have the same principles, yet each have broken them in times of desperation. My personal theory is that this was a change GRRM recommended - the parallel seems notable to me, and not one that would've even occurred to D&D, esp. given they never gave any particular shit about Jaime's story. And this may sound spurious but I recall that GRRM remembers in an interview, saying the weather was different in the show version of the scene than in the books.... which makes me think he was maybe onset for this one, possibly because of the rewrite??

I'm v much in favour of ageing up the youngest characters. My ideal starting ages for the youngest characters in AGOT would've been Jon/Robb/Dany - 18, Joffrey/Sansa - 14, Arya - 12, Bran - 10. To me they all feel much too young for the roles they play in the story, and it occasionally kills my suspension of disbelief

I way prefer the book’s version of the Red Wedding but I do feel like Catelyn's single cry of despair works better than the book's manic laughter. maybe the laughter was a more vivid image for the books idk

I do actually like how we see Robb's grief onscreen it's very movingly played by Richard Madden. I also love Catelyn's expressions as Robb rides back from the Whispering Wood, like both these scenes are great reminders of their mother/son relationship in a setting where they aren't really allowed to be just that. and like just Michelle Fairley tbh I really like her work as Catelyn even though I don't like how the character was adapted more generally

Breaking the 'concept but not execution' rule just to say I think it was definitely a good idea to explore the High Sparrow as this weirdly charismatic figure so we can see how others might be taken in by him, even whilst we see the extremes of his faith. but that subplot was not executed well at all so fuck it

Yeah I agree that Jon and Ygritte having a slightly more charged romance also works. In the books Ygritte comes and goes quite quickly and I think there is something to be said for lending a bit more gravity to that relationship. I don't think they necessarily had to be the grand romance that the show makes them out to be but I didn't hate it

I might be forgetting other things that worked because some seasons I haven't seen since like 2015, but honestly it just doesn't work for me as an adaptation. things I liked in the show before reading the books feel completely naff in hindsight, knowing how they were supposed to play out, so..... eh

[duha54]

You got Akaashi keiji !

Match up for @isadollie !

Your perfect match is Akaashi Keiji !

Like you he wouldn't want anything extra for a date . Yours usual hangout spot are his house , a nearby cat café ( it suits his vibe soo much ) and the park nearby .

For your first date, he'll bring you to a bookshop . He chose it for three reasons : for noting your taste so he could surprise you later on ,getting to know you better for confirming if both of you would be a great match and the final one is just for seeing your pretty happy and exited face .

Don't you ever worry about the bill it's on him

It'll take him a lot of time to fall in love and to confesses . He was just so hesitant.What if you rejected him ? What if you just want to stay friend ? Or worst ,what if it ruins your friendship ?

Bokuto had to butts in for him to stop.Btw, he's his n°1 supporter .He just want his bestie to be happy ...

Will take things slowly with you .It's his first relationship so he still have to get used to it .

Will a 100% use romance novels and books with general advice ( thinks it is more reliable than using internet)

He doesn't mind you being hyperactive. ( he dealt with bokuto afterall )

In fact it is endearing to him

He'll quickly notice if you're feeling down .But before having a little talk with those who did this to you he'll make sure that you feel safe , loved and go back to your normal bubbly state .

Even though he've been through this kind of situation plenty of times ,with you he'll process differently .He'll be more attentive ,sweeter ,whispering everything he loves about you .Holding you gently in his warm embrace while placing from time to time kisses on a your forehead.

After you calmed down a bit he'll bring you to a cat café .

Low-key jealous about how much attention you give to the cats .

Will introduce you to Bokuto .Of course .

You both got along super quickly which made him happy

Had teased you quite a bit about how much you two are similarYour's (mood swings )

Called you the twins .

He's definitely the type to wait at least a couple of month before talking about the future he planned with you.

Bro already planned your entire wedding .

Beamed when you said you were okay with it .

Your personality balance his in a healthy way

He loves how you can cheer him up when needed, and how you're by his side when he feels down .

Sometimes after a long rough day at work he wants just one thing being next to you ,feeling your warmth and venting about all of his worries so he could finally take this weight off of his shoulders .

Not only he likes all the cat posts you send him but he'll send you some back .It's mostly very cute ones .One time he send you a video of two twin kitties acting the exact same way at the exact same time and tagged Blaire and bokuto.

He'll try to avoid crowded places as much as possible though if you have to get to one in order to arrive at a your next date , he'll hold your hands so he won't lose you .

If you go shopping or just get groceries ,as the gentleman that he is he would insist on carrying your bags for you .

Buy you a bouquet of flowers quite often . Before he'll be on his way to your home ,he'll keep one of the flowers for him so that he'll know when to buy you a new one .

Makes sure to bring you each time one of a different color to prevent this habit from becoming monotonous .

I strongly believe that he's amazing at any domestic cores, including cooking .

Before dating you he just knew a few recipes just for health purpose .But then you came along, and he found himself wanting to spoil you ...And this is how he became your personal cook .

He won't tell you directly however one of his favorite moment with you is in the kitchen .It feels just so natural ,staying in comfortable silence only broken by the sound of the kitchen utensils that you're both using . And he can't help himself but to imagine if it would be this way when you'll be married ...

He silently prays for these moments to never ends .

[mermaidsirennikita]

I started historical romance with the older books, they are so good or at least for me they are and I have trouble finding HR from thsi years that are actually as good as the older ones, I feel like the older romance heroes are more memorable and bolder

Imo, there are definitely historical romance authors currently writing in the subgenre who are doing it UP--S.M. LaViolette, Sarah MacLean, Joanna Shupe, Adriana Herrera, Cat Sebastian, KJ Charles-- come to mind, but a lot of those authors have been writing for a good while. So they have a brand, they don't need "break through" (though they have to fight against current tradpub trends, which is a formidable issue).

But for newer historical authors, there are very few being picked up, and I think that historicals are basically being left to apologize for the issues that are pervasive in the entire romance genre and always have been. And I don't know why this is, exactly--is it because there is a surface-level "reckoning" with history in tradpub?

(I say surface level because the vast majority of top execs are cis white men, so like, MMM? Are we reckoning when by and large women and people of color and most likely a lot of queer people can't get through the door to C-Suite, or at least can't get through as easily?)

Is it because a lot of people think of "old school" romance as bodice rippers (which are invariably historicals)? Which isn't true, by the way--there are tons of old school contemporaries. I own a good chunk. The big PNR boom of yore when authors like Kresley Cole and JR Ward were killing the game happened in the late 90s/early 2000s and into the late 2000s. Those books are like... getting on up there lol.

Personally, I don't think Bridgerton did historicals any favors--I think it did the opposite. Imo, many people were just minding their own business, not at all interested in reading historical romance, and then got into Bridgerton and got into fandom (in which everything is hyperbolic) and read the JQ books, and... yeah. I personally don't love a Julia Quinn book by and large; she's just not my style, though I do enjoy The Viscount Who Loved Me and When He Was Wicked.

BUT! Though I won't pretend that her older books are the most problematic books out in historical romance land... Yeah. A lot of the Bridgerton books haven't aged super well, and they're not necessarily what I'd recommend as baby's first historicals. If you have zero context and suddenly read these 20 year old books, which were written by someone who was, imo, not trying to like... push a lot of envelopes? At the time? Who did just want to write a sort of fluffy books about very cishet, very white people in pretty conservative relationships without a lot of thought towards things like gender, class...

I mean, look. I'm not particularly outraged by those books. I don't think they handled sensitive shit very well a lot of the time. The Duke and I just... is actually a pretty fun book until you get to the assault. And it's not even the existence of the assault for me, but just like--how it was written, the minute choices made, etc. So that's what the new Bton fans read first. Then they see Anthony bitch about Kate not wanting to have sex with him on the wedding night, they read about Benedict ignoring Sophie's resistance and pushing her even when she explains why she won't be his mistress, they read about Sir Philip having sex with Marina while she lays there crying, it's just... It's not the most shocking shit I've read by any means, but if you are someone who's never read HR and people tell you "this is what the gold standard is", then yeah. I can see why you'd assume the subgenre is trash. I don't think you SHOULD lol. I don't think anyone should dismiss an entire subgenre off of one thing. But that's the internet and that's fandom and it becomes a cult mentality where people are posting out of context screenshots and getting 30K likes or whatever.

So then you don't read historical romance, and you say "Books Bad", and EVERYTHING that the romance genre has grappled with a is still grappling with as a whole suddenly seems a lot bigger in historicals. Misogyny? Present in every subgenre. Consent issues? Oh, you bet. Racism or a lack of representation? Every subgenre. Homophobia and a lack of queer rep? Every subgenre. "But the dukes" okay but the billionaires.

And that is not to dismiss what is wrong with many historicals. But I say this to say that when I read a lot of older historicals... For one thing lol, there are many of them that honestly do age pretty well or were pretty progressive at the time, which is just the case for pretty much any subgenre. Not everything is going to be super problematic. But for another, even the ones that are imperfect and do need to be critiqued tend to have a fearlessness and vibrancy in just like... the plots. The writing. Everything is BIGGER.

I do kind of feel like there's a pressure on the current historical romanced space to make it like. Small scale. Not controversial. Contemporary but in ball gowns. Nothing offensive, but also nothing that seems intimidating to read--like these LaViolette books I've read that are super gothic (and indie pubbed lol) or these Gaelen Foley books where there's like a rebellion and a sea voyage and a swordfight and a kidnapping and relationship drama all in one book. That's too big, so let's put them in a ballroom, or let's have a plot where they recite second wave feminist treatise that are about and for white women, basically.

And it's a snake eating its own tail issue, because for all that a vocal online set may critique a subgenre for being Too Much, they won't read the books that are Too Little. And the people who aren't online go "that looks boring" and move on. A contemporary romance can exist with a small plot because it's supposed to be somewhat reflective of our lives, in a romanticized form. A historical becomes knockoff Jane Austen if it does that, and I don't think the audience for that is as big as tradpub thought, maybe?

So the subgenre conforms, and then people don't buy it, because some of them just dismiss these tamer books as bodice rippers because they think all historicals are. And some of them just aren't interested because they think it'll be boring.

So anyway, this was way too long a response, but that's some of why I think we are where we are with sort of milquetoast historicals. And there are authors doing the shit still, but I think it's harder for NEW people to do the shit.

In tradpub. That is.

[avelera]

Random warm-up thoughts as I dive into writing this weekend (ayooo!) but as much as I am a firm believer in bisexual Hob supremacy, the OG fan of it being absolutely inextricable from his essential identity, this man fucks and he fucks regardless of gender...

(And here's where we get into some lengthy Giving Sanctuary Behind-the-Scenes!)

... when I write him in a historical context like Giving Sanctuary I do write him as coming from a time when marriage was simply understood as being between men and women.

Let me explain! (And by doing so, let's also explore what marriage meant historically for much of Hob's life, what divorce meant, and why male friendships really were like that in such a way as to make it very hard for Dream and Hob to parse if the other is interested in them romantically as well.)

To clarify, I don't mean "marriage between a man and a woman" just in some conservative, reductive way. Throughout history, many het* couples didn't bother to get married formally, officially before a priest or whatever in Europe, particularly if they were peasants like Hob, because marriage was a formal affair, more of a business transaction, all about the sharing of property. Marriage wasn't necessarily even romantic or aligned with romance as we'd imagine today. This is a sweeping generalization that's not true across all the periods Hob has lived through, even by 1689, but I just want to make clear where I'm coming from for the next part.

Hob certainly had other life partners before Eleanor, in my mind, but Eleanor was the first person he married with the intention of founding a dynasty, so to speak, sharing property, and having official descendants, as part of his grand plan to sort of pin himself to this world and immortality by having his many times over great-grandchildren by Eleanor to look after over the years.

Hob in Giving Sanctuary still thinks of a relationship between a man and a woman as being... not more legitimate by any means, but as being more formal, having more privileges in terms of recognition by society, and this is not me trying to be a pedantic jerk or make Hob homophobic, far from it. He has had deep, abiding love affairs with men for long stretches of time (obviously for Hob, not a lifetime), relationships he'd see as just as emotionally legitimate as his marriage to Eleanor. Relationships he was probably even open about with his inner circle as being sworn to one another and exclusive. But that wasn't marriage in the historical sense of his time and place pre-1689. That's not the binding of two houses, that's not confirmed by wider society at large, which Hob so hungered to be a part of in the 1500s. Hob would never be against the idea of being married to a man, formally, but it's so far outside his context in the 1600s that the thought doesn't even occur to him as something that might be available to him, especially with regards to Dream, or occur to Hob that Dream might consider it as an option with Hob.

(For the record, Dream is part of a supernatural world that would absolutely see marriage between two men* as totally legitimate, but Hob does not know that and it would blow his mind to learn that Dream is metaphorically doodling the seating charts for their grand eldritch wedding as we speak.)

Which brings me, first, to Calliope and Hob's borderline masochistic insistence that she be the one to go to Dream when he's grieving, to patch things up and maybe get back together and forgive each other. Keep in mind, Hob also lives in an era where divorce was practically unheard of except for annulments due to lack of consummation or because of adultery, along with a few other very rare and very expensive exceptions. Divorces were quite hard to achieve. To Dream, when he says Calliope is his former wife he means it in the modern sense of they are divorced, something that was legal and regularly practiced in say, Ancient Rome, so Dream is very familiar with the concept. Hob, less so.

So one very subtle miscommunication happening when discussing Calliope is that when Dream says "former wife" he means it in a very final sense of "legally" divorced, separated, no longer a family unit. Hob, however is hearing something more along the lines of "separated" - they had a child together so non-consummation is clearly not present. She was a wife, not a partner, she was a goddess so it was a binding of houses, a contract. To Hob's ears, he's hearing that Calliope and Dream no longer live together but that doesn't preclude Calliope moving back in down the line and simply resuming the marriage where it left off, particularly since she does not mention having remarried or found another partner since then.

And furthermore, this woman/goddess is the mother of Dream's (deceased) son! She has precedent over Hob as Dream's lover. If she shows the least interest, or if Dream did, Hob would bow out in a heartbeat (a brokenhearted one, of course). Because that concept of man/woman* marriage being somehow more legitimate, more open, more accepted, more formal applies here. He could still, in theory, be Dream's lover on the side if that were to happen, not that he dares hope for that, but if Calliope returned, the agreement to tend one another might even be in jeopardy, because the whole "helpmate" thing is built into the concept of marriage.

One reason for Hob's obsessive insistence on being Dream's friend and being sworn to tend him is that it keeps the door open to staying by Dream's side, albeit in a more limited capacity than now, is if this estranged wife ever decided to return. He could still at least have a claim to some fraction of Dream's time as his friend if that were to happen. Calliope really did need to insist that she has zero interest in ever returning to Dream, yes, that many times over and then force the issue by refusing to go to Dream's side to comfort him before Hob really understood that this marriage has been truly over for the past 2000+ years and not just temporarily suspended.

Now, speaking of Hob's claim to being Dream's friend, another perhaps subtle, almost invisible element of this story that is hard to comment on within it because it would be as natural to Hob (our POV) character as breathing and therefore not something he'd mentally comment on, is historical male bonding.

Much of why it's not obvious to Hob (or Dream) how they feel romantically for one another is because both are from a context of a pre-Puritanical, pre-20th c. homophobia mindset as far as male closeness. Men historically embraced, held hands (yes, sometimes to show they were together so they wouldn't be seen as easy targets for mugging, a practice still common in parts of the world today!), shared a bed together, and spoke of one another in effusive, indeed quite romantic terms. Just look at some old epics where men swear themselves to their comrades in arms, the fact that Achilles/Patroclus was considered debatably platonic relationship at various points of history, not just because commentators were being dense but because loving your male friend so much that you wanted to die without him was just kind of something guys said in many warrior cultures. Many aggressively (by today's standards so * needed) heterosexual, macho, warrior type men thought it was effeminate to love their wives too much and not prefer their male friends and not as sexual or romantic partners necessarily.

My point is, when Hob says things like how wearing Dream's colors would just make the outer appearance match the inner heart, he's speaking in the way men talked about their close friends or even their superiors, a beloved liege lord, back then. He doesn't think he's saying anything particularly romantic, and indeed, for his context he isn't saying anything particularly romantic! Even sharing a bed or cuddling for warmth wouldn't necessarily be seen as explicitly romantic or sexual. Men were just more demonstrably close to one another in many eras he lived through.

Hob has not, to this point, outed himself as in love with Dream at all despite all the (by modern standards) romantic stuff he's said or all the times they've cuddled or touched one another. Everything they've done could be seen as just them being very close, but nothing has been romantic or sexual in any way that would necessarily be questionable for that time. And that assumption of Hob's, that all the affection they've shown to one another is plausibly platonic, is doing a lot of heavy lifting right now, combined with his own insecurities after 80 years of suffering and privation, for how and why he doesn't see anything that has happened between him and Dream as being the greenlight to make his also romantic and sexual interest known.

Dream is just bad at emotions and expressing himself, which is why he's been too dumb to use his words and ask for what he wants yet, lol. But! He is also aware of this effusive male friendship culture (Shakespeare's works are littered with it!) so he too has not seen any behavior that he would take as the greenlight to make overtures or declare his romantic interest clearly enough for Hob to not feel he's misinterpreting based on his own desires.

But we'll get there ;)

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update 02/11/2024

Nerdie! It's the middle of the month, how are you?

Good. Nothing to complain about. Mainly relaxed and then worked Thursday and Friday. My orientee made me laugh.

Oh? How so?

She said that now that she's had some different preceptors she enjoys my balances of being a bit hands off since I know she's experienced, but still checking in during the shift to see how things are going. (Puffs out chest and also wonders if that's a good or bad thing.)

I mean, if she said it's fine, it should be fine right? Now did you do anything writing this week?

I did a bit. Not as much as I normally do. I'm gearing up for projects I have either agreed to or planned for myself.

My two fics are quite different. One was silly and sweet and the other was filth. Nerdie in a nutshell really:

Is it for the wallet of the shoebox? (Tim Rockford x plus size female reader) Tim being silly in a bookstore leads to a serious conversation and a partial photoshoot at home. Comedy and domestic fluff with slight spice.

One Pass for the both of Us (Lucian Flores x female reader x Benny Miller) You and your boyfriend Lucian have the same hall pass. All smut with sweatpants and gold chains.

Working on two things I promised people. One requested fluff and the other action and smut.

I decided to start a new series (because clearly I don't have enough - Dieter, Frankie and Tim give Nerdie a death glare) 👀 because this Pedro character was in my WIPs way before the three of you! Might even help me brainstorm…

Two Hearts by the Ocean will feature Javier Gutierrez x Abigail (plus size OFC). The vibe is sweet summer romance. Mainly fluff every Wednesday, not sure how many parts, at least five. Let me know if you'd like to be tagged for it. I have a few people in mind but if you'd like to be added, let me know. 😆

Roc & Doc and Weddings 101 with Dieter are still ongoing, no worries. Tim and Dieter have calmed. Frankie is a bit pissed still but you have the longest masterlist Fish! You don’t care…well. Okay. 🫡

I might be trying to figure out how to write Ezra. I love reading fics with the man, but his speech patterns have so many nuances to it. I've been studying @morallyinept aka Jett's Pedro Pascal Character Database that she's been compiling and her entry on Ezra from Prospect has been invaluable. It's an excellent reference for Pedro character fic writers or if you just wanna know more. She also has one specifically on Ezra’s speech patterns that I swear I’ve read at least four times.

It's me, I'm the problem. 😭 I’m either overthinking or not focusing on the right parts. Ugh…

Fics I read this week: ( I took time off work and had plenty of time to read - still didn't get to everything. 🥸)

Movie Night by @munsonownsmyass (Zach Ellison x reader)

No game at all (but I can do this) by @for-a-longlongtime (Marcus Pike x Tim Rockford - Frankie Morales floating in thots)

Wouldn't It Be Nice - Chapter one by @lady-pug (Agent Whiskey x female reader)

02 x birds - Frankie Morales x reader by @trulybetty

Mon Amour by @saturn-rings-writes (Jake Lockley x black female reader)

The Stars by @youvebeenlivingfictional (Poe Dameron x reader)

Mutual by @morallyinept (Ezra x female reader)

Dinner Party by @lavendertales (Steven Grant x fem reader)

The Mercenary and the Whore by @absurdthirst and @storiesofthefandomlovers

Comedy of Errors (MK Spring Bingo #3) by @soft-girl-musings (Steven Grant x GN reader)

03 x snowfall - Marcus Pike x reader by @trulybetty

Ambrosial by @spacecowboyhotch (Din Djarin x fem. black reader)

Half of you - part 1 and part 2 by @foxilayde (Santiago Garcia x female reader)

God Speed by @magpiepills (Tim Rockford x female reader)

Not for nothing @magpiepills (Ezra x female reader)

Perfect Fit by @lowlights (Frankie Morales x plus size reader)

To the Flame - chapter 5 by @pedroshotwifey (Dark Javier Peña x female reader)

Come back to me by @reallyrallyauthor (Poe Dameron x female reader)

If you’re not looking at @immarocketman ‘s art, then I feel sad for you. It’s beautiful 🤗 They put out a sketch of Din/Cobb this week that’s apparently going to have a fanfic written about it by @theywhowriteandknowthings

There was also an excellent head cannon about Sarah’s younger years by @clickergossip that resonated with me on Black girlhood. ☺️

That's about it until next week! 🥰

Stay hydrated and safe!

Love Nerdie 💜