#i don't like the school shootings either that shit isn't funny

[percussiveadventure]

The gun does go on the left but the toast goes under the bacon and the egg goes on top of the bacon who is washing all them dishes the dishwasher broke 4 years ago and it's a fortune for a new one that'll break down about 45 minutes after the warranty expires

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time

[breezybangtanbebe]

Bad: Kihyun❤️‍🔥

A/N: KihyunxOC, jealousy, angry sex, oral, shit-talking, mild degrading, "who's is it?".

🥴

4.2k words

Relentless.

Insufferable.

Stubborn.

An animal..

Those were the words running through Kihyun's mind as he listened to you rant beside him in the passenger seat.

It was like any other night out together. Where it begins on a high note, with flirting and teasing. Liquor and lingering glances. Grinding against each other on the crowded dance floors while you whispered in his ear, telling him how much you wanted him and how good his body felt against yours. Alcohol had a tendency to loosen you up in more ways than one and Kihyun was always mindful enough to pace himself and not drink too much so that he could be ready to handle you and your...personalities.

But he could only do so much when soon after your tipsy giddiness, came the drunk and mildy belligerent side.

So predictable...

Typical...

"..and theeen that bitch had the nerve to stare at you when we passed her...you better be glad you got me out of there when you did...I would have made a scene, Kihyun. Don't play with me..." You remark agitatedly, glancing out the window and shrugging off your boyfriend's leather jacket.

".....better be glad you got me out of there when you did..ptthhhht" Kihyun mocked you silently from the drivers side, checking his mirrors distractedly.

You glanced over at him sharply and he stealthily schooled his features, which were just contorted comically in the way he felt you looked when you were nagging.

"You say something?" You seethe and Kihyun shoots you a quick oblivious glance as he drove.

"Hmm? Me? Nope...not a word your majesty..." he shrugs and you scoff.

"Your majesty...cute...funny how you're snarky now but didn't have shit to say when that bitch bumped into me."

"What?" Kihyun furrows his brow with his eyes ahead and you turned fully in the passenger seat to face him.

"You heard me. Always so cool and so passive...you had nothing to say when your ex was eye fucking you from the bar. Then nothing when she bumped into me...I bet you if she had of grabbed a handful of your ass you wouldn't have said shit then either.."

"You know damn well thats a lie. If anyone touched me or you, they'd be flat on their ass by the time they figured out what hand they used.." he scoffs and though you knew that to be true, something about poking with Kihyun while he was driving and couldn't properly poke back intrigued you.

"Yeah..maybe. Maybe the old and fun Kihyun would have. But now youre just...bleh.." you respond and the side of Kihyun's mouth twitches into a darkly amused smirk.

"Bleh?...So what, Im boring to you now?" He lifts his brow and you hum thoughtfully as your eyes scanned over him as he drove in his white v-neck tee and dark washed jeans that fit his body so attractively.

"Lori.." Kihyun calls to you and your drunkenly lustful and distracted gaze is pulled up from his crotch to his face.

"Hmm?" You respond. Kihyun glances over at you in spurts expectantly.

"You heard me."

You sigh dramatically as you rolled your eyes, rolling over in your seat in turn to face the window again.

"Do I think youre boring? No....Not at all baby. Youre just so....I dont know. Good..." you exhale. Kihyun frowns at your word choice.

"Good? As opposed to what? Bad?" He asks. You pause before nodding in a agreement arrogantly.

"Yep. Precisely...you used to be so good at being..bad. So quick at the tongue. Ready for whatever...but now you're just...good. Which isn't bad. I guess...." Your drunken mumbles were making less and less sense and Kihyun was barely sober enough for it.

"You guess....ok..." he chuckles as he lets out a measured exhale through his nose, massaging his temple with his forefingers as the car came to a red light.

You said a few things here and there for the remainder of the ride and Kihyun tuned out the majority of it because you weren't saying anything spectacular and it was always the same.

Not to mention slurred as hell.

Complaining. Criticizing. Reminiscing on the Kihyun you met several years ago who would brawl it out with any man who took as much as a look at him or you funny. Who would get excited about seeing you so jealous and territorial and would mock any woman of his past to their face with you in his hands.

Coming home late with locked lips, liquored tongues, red and raw bruised knuckles, and scattered cuts on his face and lip.

There was something so enticing and exciting about him then and that was what pulled you.

Your lust for chaos and his edginess.

But eventually, everyone grows up.

To be fair, the change was welcomed and needed. The fights were often volatile. You were always a spitfire and not one to allow any man to shake you up. At least until you met Kihyun and he completely wrecked you in ways you couldn't explain.

And while you two were compatible and loving, you also pushed each-others buttons.

ALOT.

Thus infusing the constant power struggle between the two of you that ultimately ended with one of you on your backs.

Metaphorically and literally.

Good times.

Thankfully, You found some silence as Kihyun was pulling into the parking garage of your apartment complex. But your attitude was still on 10. Maybe it was the buzz that was quickly fading. Maybe it was the fact that your feet were killing you in those heels.

Or maybe it was Kihyun's lack of engagement in your attempts to get a rise out of him.

You didn't bother waiting for him to open your door for you and you slammed it shut with excessive force. You staggered for a few steps, wobbling on your heels, and you huff out of frustration before cursing under your breath. Kihyun is just now exiting the car and walking around it to spot you bending down to snatch the heels from your feet.

"Ugh...stupid...fucking..shoes..." you mumble and Kihyun snickers from behind. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes appreciatively at the way your short skirt rides up your legs. Then he rolls his eyes at the fact that you were probably ass'd out the entire evening. He sighs.

"Is it the shoes that are the issue? Or that tiny ass skirt.." he sneers as he strolled passed you with his leather jacket hanging over his shoulder. You felt his eyes on your backside as you straightened up.

"Im surprised you noticed either one..." you snapped at his back as he left you to approach the elevator.

"Please...me and half the city noticed that ass hanging out all night. You'd be pleased to know..." he mutters and you step briskly  to catch up to him on bare feet just as he pushed the call button.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" you grumble beside him and Kihyun barely responds, sparing you a low scoff and smirk as the doors opened.

In the elevator, you made sure Kihyun felt your annoyance by standing in the corner opposite of him.

Your arms are crossed over your tummy, heels dangling from your fingers as your bare foot taps against the floor impatiently.

Kihyun leans casually against his side of the elevator, his head leaning against the wall and his eyes upon the changing floor numbers.

If someone were watching them on the security cameras, one would think they were strangers.

Sometimes it felt like you were.  The things you said to him earlier weren't just born in your mind tonight. There was a major shift in his behavior and the way he wasn't as passionate as he used to be.

He was working a steady job now and putting in lots of hours. Paying bills and taking care of business had its tendency to dull the brightest of people. Even you had a tendency to feel like the routine life you two adopted was taking a toll on you.

But at least you were still you...

At least you still cared enough to react or to pick a fight...

Unlike...

Your attitude persisted as the two of you entered your apartment. Kihyun was quiet per usual, dropping his keys against the counter and stepping out of his shoes. You bumped him on your way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you dramatically. Kihyun chuckles in amusement at your antics, knowing that the true root of your tude was beyond the minor events of the night. Beyond the tame turn he'd taken and your struggle with adapting to it. He knew exactly what was going on and the thought of it had him tensing in excitement and anticipation when he heard your heavy footsteps traveling up the hallway towards your bedroom.

You were too consumed by the task of removing your jewelry and tossing your heels in the closet to notice that you weren't alone.

As you were turning around to begin peeling off your club attire, Kihyun was suddenly behind you and yanking you towards him by the arm. He pushes you against the wall roughly and blocks your view of anything beyond him with his jaw clenched.

Your eyes flutter at the sudden aggressiveness but you have no time to respond verbally when his lips were suddenly against yours. A strained moan vibrates between your mouths and the heat of Kihyun's hard body is on you, pinning you against the wall. His tongue dominates yours and his hands rove all over your body, from wrapping around your neck to squeezing one of your breasts through your thin top.

He groans softly as he pressed himself into you more, letting you feel every muscle in his chest and torso through his shirt, as well as the sizable bulge forming in his pants. You wanted to touch it and him, but you were too distracted by the skill and passion of his lips moving against you.

"You know...you've got...a lot...of fucking...mouth..." Kihyun practically growls to you between kisses. The hand at your neck grips you unsubtly and he pulls back to watch your pupils expand as he applied some pressure. Something in him ignited and the fact that he was much soberer than you were made you squirm.

He was irritated and focused and sexy as fuck.

A deadly cocktail.

"I think We've heard enough of the shit talk from you for tonight...What do you think?" He whispers. As he did, the hand on your chest moves down and slides beneath the waistband of your skirt. He resumes kissing you to keep you from uttering another word, tilting his head to deepen the kiss as he slipped his hand beneath the stretchy material and lace. It's like electricity charged his touch when his fingers make contact with your wetness and Kihyun smiles against your lips again wickedly.

As shocked as you were by his sudden shift, you were elated at the sense of familiarity you felt. It was taking you back to when the two of you first met and he fucked you in the back of his car after your first date.

Don't judge...

"I guess being so aggravating really gets you going huh? " He teases, rubbing over your clit slowly with the pads of his fingers. The sweet friction feels like heaven and hell, pleasurable and torturous at the same damn time.

Kihyun's lips linger against yours, barely touching but parted as you shared a breath. His eyes are low and off focus, his other senses keying in on the way you were responding to his touch. Your staggering breath was still laced with the scent of alcohol. Your skin was flushed and warm from your inebriation and arousal. Your searching hands holding him at his shoulders, digging your nails into his shirt as he upped his pace. Rubbing you faster and harder, licking over the front of his teeth as he smiled at your soft moans.

He abruptly pulls his hand out from your heat and lifts his glistening fingers between your lips and his.

The scent of your slick is heady and more intoxicating to him than the liquor in your system and in an act that makes your insides quake, Kihyun presses his tongue between his wet and slippery fingers. He tastes you and feeds you a sample in one pass of his tongue. You lick at them thirstily, chasing his mouth and fingers as he pulled them both away with a smirk.

A soft whimper passes through your pouted lips and your lust drunken eyes drag up to meet Kihyun's.

"What? You want more? " he arches his brow. You bite your lip and bat your hooded gaze up at him, letting your head fall back against the wall as he loomed over you. He hums deep in his throat at how fucked out you already looked for him, seeing as how he had barely done anything yet.

You were so gorgeous. Everything about you was perfectly placed and designed. Except for your attitude. If only you would shut up sometimes...

If only there was a way to keep you quiet-ish for an extended period so that he could enjoy his most favorite parts of you.

If only...

Sexy swanky time skip

Relentless.

Insufferable.

Stubborn.

An animal...

Just three words you would use to describe your man's overall personality. Though you would use many more to describe him if given the opportunity, those three, in particular, are the only ones that came to mind at the moment. The haze of the alcohol still buzzed in your veins as you lifted your head weakly with your kiss burned lips parted and agape.

Kihyun had been tucked between your legs for what felt like forever, licking you to the brink of insanity for God knows how long. You were trembling and spent from cumming so intensely back to back, but that wasn't stopping him from trying for your fourth orgasm. Your walls clenched and pulsed around his fingers, completely coated with slick that dripped down his wrist.

His tongue had to be battery charged from the way it flicked and swirled over your clit tirelessly. You were surprised it hadn't gone numb on you yet from the overstimulation.

But no.

You were too aroused at this point. Especially with how Kihyun was looking up at you periodically with those beautifully seductive eyes and groaning appreciatively at your taste.

"Baby...please..." you whimpered, lifting your head weakly to gaze down at him. Kihyun closes his lips around your clit to give it a few hard sucks as he finger fucked you, completely ignoring your desperate plea for mercy as he pulled your fourth orgasm out of you.

This time you squirted for him, gushing all over his bottom lip and chin as you cried out in a string of curses before gasping.

His fingers rub vigorously inside of you, making the sounds of your wet release most dramatic.

"Please what?" He pulls his mouth away from your clit to ask. When you were able to find him through the blur of your tears, Kihyun was looking up at you from between your trembling legs with that glint of darkness in his eyes.

Shit.

He was still annoyed.

"Please what?" He repeats, his fingers finally slowing to a soothing rhythm. Which you were thankful for with how sore he had you with his hand alone. You were almost afraid of how you'd feel after he fucked you.

If he fucked you...

Kihyun stares up at you expectantly, seeming a little annoyed at you interrupting him. Your mouth gapes a bit with hesitance. You weren't sure of what to say or what it was exactly that you wanted.

To stop?

Well...no.

To keep going?

Eh....yes and no...

To stop being a jealous,bratty cunt who felt the need to take her frustration out on her moody boyfriend instead of just using her words like a normal adult?

Abso-fucking- lutely.

"Can you just....talk to me?" You mutter and Kihyun lets out a short laugh.

"Talk? That's what you want?" He lifts his brow.

Mind you, three of his fingers were still nestled deep inside of you.

"Yes, baby...please. Can we talk?" you half moaned when Kihyun suddenly pulls his fingers from inside of you. There's a dull ache at his fullness vanishing and you sigh in relief as he stood at the edge of the bed. You gazed up at him desperately as he begin undressing. You were already ass naked and sprawled across your shared mattress, panting and exhausted already.  Kihyun regards you with zero pity as he pulled his shirt over his head and tosses it aside. Then he begins undoing his button and fly, pulling the zipper down with a sinister glare.

"All of that shit you've been talking all night and now you wanna have a conversation? Funny.." He mutters. You were too mesmerized by the body in front of you to respond. His smooth and even complexion and his rippled abdominal muscles. Though Kihyun wasn't considered by most to be a large man, Everything about the way he carried himself screamed big and confident. His body was just as perfectly made as the symmetry of his facial features, which were screwed into a sexy scowl right now as he pushed his pants and underwear down in one swoop.

Now that he was naked, a small rush of fear and excitement fell over you.

He was clearly irritated by you and your shenanigans from earlier tonight.

But his dick was HARD. Thick and twitching, every vein in his shaft bulged and prominent. Kihyun smirks at your expression and he reaches for your ankles.

"What was that? I thought you wanted to talk...you're pretty quiet now.." he mutters as he tugged you towards him, spreading your legs in preparation to fuck you.

The sight of his hard dick aimed and ready at your entrance makes your mouth water admittedly but you blink away the daze so that you could address him. 

"I mean...I don't have to be..." you stammer and Kihyun let out a soft chuckle.

"I'm betting on it. Open your legs..." he demands, despite already having you spread.  Kihyun dips down and grasps you by your thighs, yanking you even closer to him so that his dick grazes over your folds, rubbing your aching clit along the way. You moan pitifully at how good it felt and Kihyun bites his lip when he pulled back to drag his dick back to press the tip of him at your tight entrance.

"I'm not in a talking mood. So if you're not gonna be quiet...." he trails off as he sinks into you.

He eases into you quickly and pulls back only for his dick to be forced back into you again.

Then again. And again.

Snapping his hips into sharp hard thrusts that have you jolting up on the bed. Your eyes are already rolling back at the fullness and you put zero effort into containing your moans. For once, the sound of your voice doesn't make him want to roll his eyes tonight and he leans over your body to pull you into his hard gaze.

"What was that? Can't hear you.." he grunts as he fucked you deeper.

Kihyun places his hand over your throat to hold you still so that he was sure you were making eye contact. Which you were, barely.

You were doing your best.

He applies pressure and you moan out a gasp that has him groaning in satisfaction.

"Ooooh fuck, I love that sound." he grits, squeezing your throat tighter and upping his pace. He smacks into you hard as fuck for a few strokes that begin rotating his hips to stretch you further for him. All while choking you and relishing in all the noises you were making.

"mmhmm...that's what I wanna hear from you. That's all I wanna fucking hear from now on. You understand me?" His tone goes cold and you knew he expected you to respond. So you nod and whimper affirmatively the best you could under your current circumstances and thankful, Kihyun accepts it.

"Good."

Suddenly he's pulling out of you, his dick glistening with your juices. He gives your thigh a light tap that makes it jiggle and tuts his chin.

"Now get up and turn around. Right now..." he commands in a gruff tone.

You didn't move as graceful or as coordinated as you normally would have but you didn't hesitate to do as you were told. Now that you were on all fours and arched for him, Kihyun climbed up on the bed and lodged his legs between your thighs. This forced you to spread for him even more and he quickly resumed his delicious torture.

Kihyun fucked you hard and fast with his hands gripping the meat of your hips. He drills into you over and over with his fingers tangled in your hair, tugging your head back with every thrust. Snapping his hips and grunting with each thrust that has you nearly sobbing from how good it felt.

You loved this. Every fucking bit of it.

As he pounded you into the mattress relentlessly, you called out his name between moans.

"Ki.....Kihyun...baby..." you mewled desperately. Your eyes were rolling back and your body rocked back against his hurried and deep strokes.

"Look at you...finally using your words..." he snarks from behind you. His stamina is unmatched and it's a wonder that he can speak so evenly while digging into you so deeply.

"Kihyun ...Kihyun please..." you cry out.

"Please what, Lori?" he barks, your name on his tongue stinging bitterly in your ears. It makes you crazy and even needier, the burn of your impending explosion sizzling down your spine. He never lets up his powerful pace as he tugs your head back in expectancy of your response. You cry out at the pain and whimper. "Gonna...gonna cum..gonna cum..oh my god..."

"Yeah? You done being a brat? " he grits and you moan something along the lines of a yes. He groans in satisfaction at the sound, biting his lip.

"Oh fuck...fuck..You know you're mine, right?" He tugs at your hair again with emphasis.

"Yes!" you yelp. Just then, Kihyun lets goof your hair to push your head down into the pillows. He rises higher over you with one of his legs up and foot planted by your waist to give him a better angle and he goes into overdrive.

From that point, if he asked you anything else you wouldn't have known, heard, or fucking cared. You were all tears, sweat, drool, and muffled moans from here. Taking the delicious consequences of your actions from the entire night like a champ. Somewhat.

When you came, you saw stars.

When he came, it was with his dick pressed as deep inside of you as it could go. Painfully so, but he didn't care. He wanted you to feel every drop and inch of him so that you knew that the man you fell for in beginning was still there and had been there all along. It was a matter of whether or not you could handle him once you woke him that he needed you to keep in mind.

After a while, the two of you ended up spooning beneath the newly changed comforter and sheets on his bed. Kihyun is behind you with his bare chest against your back, his arm draped possessively over your waist to keep you close. You were both still awake surprisingly and there was still a thin layer of earlier tension still hanging over you.

"Did I hurt you?" Kihyun rasps in your ear, an edge of uncertainty in his tired voice. You were sore all over and felt as if you had been in a fight and lost, but you weren't going to tell him that.

Because you loved the feeling.

"No"

You could a slight sigh of relief lift at his chest from behind you.

"Still wanna talk?" he asks after a beat and you smiled. A few seconds passed as you considered your response and everything you'd been on about all night. Suddenly, all of it seemed microscopic now. You squirmed back against Kihyun's naked frame and nuzzles your neck, squeezing your waist beneath his arm.

"No."

"Good." he deadpans, earning a sharp elbow in the ribs from you. He huffs out a surprised and pained chuckle, knowing your fiery personality wasn't far away despite him fucking you into submission for hours. And he was relieved at the fact.

There wasn't a thing he would change about, even if you bugged the fuck out of him, being with you felt too good.

And bad.

Something you both were oh so good at being.

[snickerdoodlles]

Macau&Chay you got mail AU? Please tell us more!

lil late to answering but!! YES!! time for some good ol' AU nostalgia, which is really funny to me because what I know about that movie I learned exclusively through this being a really popular fandom AU like 10 years ago or whatever. anywho!!! the fic:

Macau and Chay know each other vaguely as "that guy (derogatory) from my school"

they don't actually dislike each other. there's no reason for it. this isn't even a rivalry, just that somehow, somewhere in their years of overlapping schooling, they rubbed some shoulders somewhere and went "ugh nope, wrong vibes."

'fuktong1' and 'free waifuuu'* meet on videogame chat boards. it started as a need for an extra player to round out a team, but they like each other best out of the group and soon start coordinating to play together regularly.

its a solid friendship!! neither has any particular desire to bring their friendship out of the videogame/chatroom context yet, but Macau does once send Chay a bundle of games for his old system that Chay wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.

this changes after Yok's bar.

Chay is…not so fond of shooting games now. being slapped in the face with his lack of awareness is a large part of it, but learning Porsche was literally in a shoot-out while he was tucked away ignorant and oblivious is similarly bad for him. it's a rough time to be Chay basically :(

luckily for him, fuktong1 has never been overly fond of shooting games and has so many recommendations that are much more palatable for Chay's current tastes. they play together more and more, and naturally chat more and more, and overall get much closer.

Macau and Chay's relationship also change. for the worse specifically.

Chay's really going through shit right now -- loansharks and low grade mafia thugs have been beating down his door all his life, and now Porsche is running a mafia branch. (the branch that specifically deals with shaking down people and cleaning up the main family's mess, no less.) he's isolated in the family compound and cut off from everything he's known. somehow his mother's back from the dead (kind of). he's still barely seeing Porsche. Kim's giving him mixed messages. he's really fucking pissed at everything, and Vegas (Macau's brother) was also responsible for (or at least tied to) his kidnapping, second attempted kidnapping, and Porsche's new injuries. Chay has zero sympathy to spare for ANY mafia-related people, and Macau is part of mafia-related people.

Macau is ALSO going through shit right now -- Vegas was shot up and is now bedridden in the hospital. the father who never cared for them is dead. the uncle who cared even less took away their men and home to give to Porsche. the same uncle may or may not being looking after him and Vegas to either kill or use them later. Macau, who was also iced out of the mafia business by a protective brother, has absolutely no idea what's happening as everything spirals out of control. his only support is his (bedridden!) brother's maybe boyfriend, who was previously only known to Macau as his eldest cousin's head bodyguard. he probably has finals to deal with too. it's a rough fucking time to be Macau, ex-fucking-cuse him if he doesn't give a shit about Chay suddenly getting what was previously his and Vegas's wealth and security.

someone more well versed in videogames will have to give me suggestions for what games they play, idk enough about those because ultimately this whole situation is just to force Chay and Macau to see each other in a new light. because they don't have any reason to like each other in or after canon! Vegas and Porsche have their weird friend-enemy dance, because they're bros and like each other, and Porsche can't hold a grudge to save his life and Vegas's relationships are so fucked up that anyone who genuinely likes him bypasses any other complications, but their relationship doesn't translate to Macau or Chay. at all. Macau and Chay both have only ever had their older brother as their support their entire lives and absolutely hold grudges against intruders (for themselves and their brothers).

Chay figures out who fuktong1 is first. (how? no clue! maybe they planned to meet up and it went bust, maybe one of Macau's usernames gives a clue? idk.) initially, Chay's outraged, because he keeps dealing with his life suddenly going "and it's mafia!" for fucking everything, and Chay's so, so angry about it all. but he also can't help but put the puzzle pieces together. suddenly realizing his friend fuktong1 has also had to dance around the mafia issues every time they talk and the general recontextualizing of everything his friend ever told him with what Chay now knows about the Theerapanyakul family takes almost all the heat out of Chay's anger towards everything and all he can feel is sad. sad about the circumstances forced on him and Porsche and Macau (and Kim and Khun and Kinn and even Vegas), sad about their loneliness, sad about the trials and burdens the mafia (Korn, Korn and Gun) have put all of them through. it's…a lot to deal with.

(whether this realization happens before his reconciliation with Kim and facilitates it, or happens after it and he has Kim's shoulder to cry on is tbd. depends on which one is the more emotional spin cycle really, it could go either way.)

on Macau's end, he has a brief spike of anxiety and self-pity when his friend free waifuuu abruptly disappeared on him, but he doesn't think anything more on it after he pops up again (he doesn't). their friendship grows deeper as they both open up to each other about more of their personal lives and they're both very sympathetic to each other without ever falling into pity. idk how Macau and Chay's relationship progresses after Chay's discovery or how the 'free waifuuu is Chay' revelation comes about yet, except that there are a lot of tears, a lot of yelling, and ultimately they become proper friends both on and off the chat boards, weird mafia family relationships and that time Chay called Macau 'daddy' for a week after he gave him a bunch of turnips in Animal Crossing aside.

*usernames are a work-in-progress, as usernames are NOT my specialty, esp not in a different language. Macau is playing with 'fuk'--he actually learned 'fuck' from Vegas before he learned the thai 'fuk' (gourd), and he's been having fun with it since. Chay's is a play off the phrase "sleep with me, free wifi" which i am told is slang more or less equivalent to 'netflix and chill' (i think? someone might be playing with me, idk). anyways, Chay greets Macau with "hey pumpkin~" when he's feeling flirty. they have so many husband/wife in-jokes.

[aethershroud]

A More Articulate Response to Big Betrayal

So uh...yeah anyone know of this?

This sort of blew up for a small Tumblr account that's barely a year old. And it’s fair to say I...overreacted. A lot. I get it, even in universe it's all pretend drama. They're just being shitty to him for the clout and cameras. Otherwise, why would they make the song? This is all for the Splatfest.

...And I STILL hate it. But now I can properly articulate WHY.

So let's start in-universe...who on Deep Cut could possibly think this was a good idea? Shiver probably wouldn't give a toss if Big Man went solo for a bit, Frye was probably SUPER jealous he got to collab with the Squid Sisters, and imagine how THEY would feel if their silly little collab would lead to Big Man getting ABUSED by them. I imagine Marie is already raking those three idiots over the coals for having an idol Splatfest to begin with ("Do you want to shoot your friend in the face? DO YOU WANT TO SHOOT YOUR [redacted] HYPNOTISED FRIEND IN THE [redacted] FACE?!"), but pretending to insult and belittle him in a SONG? This is reminding them all too well of the nuclear fallout of THEIR Splatfest...and this is being done intentionally. They had to know this was going to backfire.

As for out of universe...I'm sorry, it's too mean spirited. Splatoon has some nasty qualities in it, but none of that applies to the tone. Even the more crass and evil characters still have a laughable side to them. Even Mr Grizz has his moments of levity by filtering his plans for Inkling extinction through corporate buzzword talk. But Big Betrayal is just unpleasant. It's not funny, it's not even that good a song. And this is AFTER the ongoing issues with Shiver's character; winning Splatfests repeatedly, having that blamed on Simps who vote for her and not for her topic, her intentionally smug demeanour, issues and arguments over gender identity, upsetting the Wealth vs Love themes...and now you have her say truly AWFUL things like "Oh you wanted to see some friends? Why not spend ALL your time with them if they're that important" and "GIVE ME MONEY PLZ"? People genuinely want her removed from the game. They want her to die IN the game. They've probably sent her VA death threats. Do you really want to do this now?

I get it, it's satire. It's forced, scripted, it's not real. But this is a social community where you basically have to put /j on the end of even the most obvious jokes because some people either don't get it or just want the excuse to get pissy. If it went over OUR heads, you bet your ass it went over the heads of most of Splatsville in-universe. In or out of such, the fallout's going to be massive. And if it's all for that stupid Splatfest...well, that's one way to kill my interest in it. Most people already gave up on them 'cause they weren't fun and this shit isn't helping.

Almost makes me want to pick Big Man out of spite.

But I won't.

'Cause I know Shiver will just win, again.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Brigitte Empire is on her way out of the UK, hopefully on to a better place with bluer skies and less genocidal rhetoric, but good real estate is hard to find! If you'd like to support her with a click, or some money, or some other form of social currency, that would certainly be appreciated right now!

And while I have your attention, how 'bout a brief, Vicky Day dive on how scared people are prone to shooting themselves in the foot?

You know, if life is a zero-sum game and you may have what little you need to live and be happy snatched away from you at any time, you're not wrong to feel a bit nervous. Like this good boy here:

But, uh, I don't know if you can tell... There seems to have been a bit of a miscommunication between the front end of the doggo and the back end of the doggo. The back paw seems to be doing nothing more sus than straining to scratch an itch, but the eyes detect something stalking them from the peripheral vision, so the dog snarls, bites, grabs the bone, and twists away. It happens so fast, he has no idea he's being menaced by his own ass, and he's all set to bite again when the GIF resets.

So watch the doggy, and picture the front end with King Charlie's head on it, and the back end with the face of that poor, dumb monarchist who got arrested for attending the coronation. Or with Nintendo's logo on the front end, and "video game streamers providing free advertising" on the back. Or "Christian University" and "cis, het Christians willing to work for a Christian university." Ha-ha, sometimes a metaphor is worth a thousand words!

Yeah. Ha-ha. Dry your eyes, blow your nose, and unfreeze your schadenfreude, because you're not immune to biting your own ass, my fellow progressives.

This cat knows about chasing your own tail, I guarantee it. All kidding aside, getting you so scared that you'll do anything to feel a little bit safer is the essence of propaganda.

Is someone else being used as a wedge issue, getting killed, and getting hit with legislation designed to make it as hard as possible for them to live? Someone who doesn't look like you, or belong to what you consider your family? What are you and your finite amount of human empathy doing for them? Beyond that, do you kinda resent them for taking up the oxygen in the room and talking about their thing when you need people to focus and direct their attention to your thing?

This is just among the trans community, let alone the queer community in general! And what about Black folks, immigrants, poor folks, mentally-ill folks, or any other type of marginalization?

You do not have enough attention, energy, or empathy for everyone who is being murdered by the State right now. The transitive property is true, and they don't always have enough attention, empathy, or energy for you either. So do we kinda wave hi from across the street and go, "Hope you win! But I can't help you myself!" "That's okay! Hope you win too!"? Nope!

Somehow, we find the strength to reach out and harm a perceived threat that we can reach. Even if actually catching it and biting it would hurt like hell. It's just so damn temping, and it's right there.

We are not operating from a position of power like Nintendo, a King, or even a jerk HR department at a podunk religious school. It isn't cute or funny when we do it, it's just a waste.

But it's super hard to comply with a negative, so let me give you some magic words to hold in your head when you see your back end creeping up on you: "You are valid. You have value. You deserve to live and be safe as much as I do. Harming you will use up energy I need to protect myself. As long as you are not trying to harm me or others, your struggle is my struggle. I'm sorry there's so little I can do, but I hope you'll be okay." If you have the energy, say it or type it out. If you don't, just walk on by and focus on your own shit for a while. Y'all need a stable place to stand before you can help lift anything, that's just how gravity works.

We are all out there making trolley problem decisions in realtime. Most of us are not willing to hip-check a stranger onto the tracks to save our friends. But if we can pull a lever...

...or just sit back and allow it to happen, a lot more of us are willing to be complicit in a few murders. As long as it's not the folks who really matter.

It's not my right to demand you get out there and throw a brick at a cop. It's not my right to demand you risk your life trying to fix something that was broken before you were even born. It's also not my right to demand you hand a mandate to a politician who says, "Maaaybe you can have abortion rights or healthcare, but you have to let us kill a few more Black and brown folks. It's a zero-sum game! Somebody has to die!"

...But you can't stop me from vomiting text on the internet in vague hope that you'll wake up, realize how bad it is, and put your nervous energy towards getting safe.

Leave your back foot alone. It's just trying to scratch where it itches.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi✌🏻

This is dissociation anon once again after a very long time. How've you been? I hope your life has treated you nicely!

So, I've been living alone for more than a year and, well... It's great! I have close friends to spend my days with & meaningful relashionships that make me feel supported and seen and part of the community, do great in school (I had the coolest practicals out of my entire group!! At 19 yo, I was already assisting with surgery, if in the smallest role!! I saw so much stuff and by the end the main nurse trusted me enough she sent me as the only tech in an emergency operating room!!), generally cleaned up most of the main issues to the point they affect me much less than before (the only like,,, big big triggers left are suicide and weapons, but like, as a person who both was suicidal and had a brother who wanted to kill himself by shooting his brains out with the gun we had, I don't think those two will go away, well, ever), and if I do get more trauma, it's because of either general geopolitical stuff and/or other fucked up stuff happening in my life that doesn't involve the abusers.

To sum it up, I'm living that university experience you see in ads and movies that everyone says is impossible, complete with my own apartment and a walkable community with a shitton of public transport.

Also, my family is rotting apart. Everything got so much worse since I left it's not even funny. A part of the family had to emigrate, and I'm pretty sure my 13 yo cousin is now depressed and bullied in school; they seem to only be finding bigger problems and all of them are miserable. Relatives are dying left and right. My father shut himself off completely, preferring to stare into meaningless entertainment all day instead of doing... Literally anything. My brother, while not actively suicidal now (thank god), is 10 seconds away from going on a murderous rampage and killing them all, despite also somehow developing his own dysfunctional second life. My mother is heavily burnt out and depressed, preferring to also shut herself off with meaningless entertainment instead of trying to do anything to make herself feel better.

They are tearing each other apart with horrible fights which are now happening daily, and People's "such a shame you had to move" talk turned into "you shouldn't return" talk.

And it just,,,, it hurts my soul, man. Like, boy, I sure have my empathy and ability to sympathise with them turned down to 0,005%, but like,,,, they're so full of misery that it follows around them like a cloud and seeps to surfaces.

And things are like, bad bad. Like, triple the level of dysfunction you are thinking about from that initial paragraph. Like, my mother is contemplating divorce bad.

And when I look at all of this I just,,, want to help them, because oh fuck this isn't something anybody deserves.

So I'm just sort of stuck with a double life and a shitty secret identity of being a 100% normal & we'll adjusted person and also severely abused victim who's family is rotting apart and like,,, how do I manage both of that? What do I even do? Do I help? Do I don't? Do I say "you deserve this?" And leave them?

They're still the people who tortured me, abused me, despised me, pulled a gun on me, threatened to kill me, starved me, refused to give me proper medical treatment, turned me into what was practically a child slave, and more. And when you spell it out like that, it seems clear cut - no, I shouldn't help them.

But the idea of leaving,,, all that to be in my happy bubble of optimism and positivity and turning a blind eye while they rot makes me, the person I made myself outside of their influence, who has morals now, wholy shit, when did that happen, shrivel up in guilt and shame.

So like.. thoughts? Opinions? Help? Is this some sort of delayed Stockholm syndrome?

(Also, I think they know I did my whole year long manipulation plan to get out of the house intentionally, but by this point, what can they do? I won. I'm out, and I only come back for vacations and weekends, occasionally.)

(Also also, yeah, I still dissociate, either due to flashbacks or exhaustion, but it's better now)

Warm regards, and Thanks for your answer in advance!!

Hi again! I'm very glad to hear from you again!

It's so good to hear that university life is treating you well. Such amazing news!!! And that the trauma recovery isn't taking up all your mental space. That's amazing ❤️

Regarding your struggle of not knowing whether to help them, I'm here to reinforce what you already know when you spell out exactly what they put you through: you are not responsible for helping them overcome their struggles. You were an abuse victim under that roof, and every step you have taken toward your own safety and well-being is a good one, including distancing yourself as much as possible from their lives in every possible way.

It's completely understandable to struggle with guilt when you know exactly the kind of hell someone is going through, especially when those people have made you feel responsible for their pain. You're not alone in these feelings. I personally also felt like this when I left my mother behind, knowing how mentally unstable she was. I'm sure many other abuse victims have felt like this after leaving behind their abusers as well. Manu abusers have a way to make you feel like abusing you is the only thing keeping them from hurting themselves instead, and it can feel so selfish to save yourself when it feels like you're dooming them even more in the process.

But the truth is it was never your responsibility to save your family members from themselves at the expense of your own safety and well-being, and it will never be. Your responsibility is to take care of yourself and put yourself first so you can heal and lead a regular, fulfilling life, outside of survival mode. A life where you don't have to worry that something you say or do (or something you don't say or do) will make others escalate into life-threatening violence. And, let me tell you, I'm really proud of you for everything you've already done to save yourself. (Also, super proud of you too for all your achievements in your practicals! Assisting with surgery is such a huge step!)

And, nonnie, you're not living in a bubble. What you have done is exit their bubble to enter the world. That's a great thing! Your family is the one living in a bubble of emotional anguish that they either created for themselves, or didn't know how (or want) to escape. As far as I'm aware, they are all adults (at least in your former household) and have the ability to make their own decisions, just like you do. And while it can be extremely difficult to escape a situation where you're living in survival mode, warped in a damaging and terrifying worldview where everything is a life or death situation (I would never want to downplay how impossible it can feel to exit a cycle of abuse), it is possible to at least want to fight to lead a different kind of life that is adjusted, and calm, and feels worth living. You did it. Why is it that you can fight for yourself on your own, with no one to support you and your whole family actively against you, but it feels like they can't do it without your help? Why should you have to sacrifice everything you've fought for just because they can't find it in themselves to fight for a better life they way you did?

I think it will be easier to believe they're the ones in a bubble the more time you spend away from them. Up until very recently, their bubble has been your whole life, everything you've ever known. That's why it can feel like you're in a bubble now, because your newer experiences can feel small and more isolated than your whole lifetime up until this point. But as you spend time in the outside world and experience new interactions and relationships, your perception will change, and, hopefully, your guilt and shame will be alleviated and it'll be easier to understand that you never deserved what you went through, you didn't choose to live in that bubble of abuse, and it's not your responsibility to remove anyone else from it.

It can be really painful to feel like you're leading a double life when no one around you knows you come from an abusive household. I still struggle with this sometimes. It's helped me to be open about my past with my friends, at least. I don't know if this is something you want to share with any of the new people you've met, but I just want you to know that whatever you choose is okay. You don't owe anyone this information about your past, but you also don't owe anyone keeping quiet about it to make other people comfortable. Do what feels right for you, and if you're scared of oversharing when it isn't welcome, you can always ask for consent beforehand. There are lots of people out there who will appreciate you being honest and open, and even relate to your struggles.

Good luck with everything! Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

[wtftarot]

The Magician PAC reading

The Magician card is awesome. This card is all about creation, learning, skill, willpower, and obviously magic. So, this reading is all about where/how you can embrace more of the Magician card's energy. What tools do you have at your disposal that you're not seeing? Where do you need to utilize your full willpower? Etc.

*none of the photos are mine*

**tarot readings are for entertainment only and are not a substitute for professional help at any capacity**

Pick either the As Above Hand, the Table and Tools, or the So Below Hand and head to your reading.

As Above

It's funny, y'all chose the hand with the wand, because y'all have more wands than any other suit. Something is taking its fucking time getting here isn't it? Holy shit, HAHA. Time by Pink Floyd just started playing on the radio. Fucking seriously. That was just perfect. Guides have a sense of humor today, I love it. Anyway, the reading. There's something you're working on that's just going so fucking slow, right? That song with the cards, you think you're running out of time. Ok, another song playing is referencing not having the time. Y'all are really stressed about time. I am getting so many messages and each one is pushing to go first and it's all jumbled. Babe, let's just stop a second ok? Breath. Slowly in. Slowly out. Slowly in, and out. Hey, I know you just read past that and didn't do it. Please, just take a second to breathe, the reading will still be here. (i know a few of you are still skipping it, but I'll let it go) Y'all are overwhelming yourselves here, like a shit ton. I'm getting a lot of different situations. Some of you are trying to manifest something, other something with school, some it's building a whole ass career (damn). The picture I'm getting is of this Awesome Idea that you've worked and worked toward but it still hasn't come about and now you're doubting it entirely. You feel like you have to be on the defense with others, constantly proving that this Awesome Idea is worth it. At the same time, you're doubting that it is worth it.

How you can embrace the Magician's energy in this situation is to be patient. (i know, I know fuck me) You have the tools, the idea, the willpower, none of that's the problem. The Awesome Idea really is awesome and it is possible. The thing is though you're approaching this with Wands energy when you need to use Pentacles energy. Which makes it so much fuckin funnier that you picked the picture with the wand. The Wands are all about quick, fiery bursts of energy and inspiration. Which is great, we love the Wands energy, it's just not what will help you in this situation. You need the Pentacles energy. Solid, consistent, diligent work. You don't plant a seed and then expect it to be a rose bush by the end of the day. You have to go out and water it, pull the weeds and get rid of pests. You also don't get pissed at it for not producing flowers after a week. You would understand that good things take time to grow. If you want a seed to grow to don't dig it up to see if it's growing, you nurture it and trust the prosses. You see what I'm getting at? You are going to be a beautiful fucking rose bush, but right now you are a seed or a lil sprig. Give yourself time. It's interesting because you're stuck in the past and pushing yourself to already be in the future but you're avoiding the present. Honey, cycles are a part of life. The moon goes through phases and so do we. You can't be a full moon if you've not been a waxing crescent. All of nature goes through them, and babe, you are nature. It's easy to forget in this world we live in but we are all natural creatures. We need time to grow and that's okay. You've got this. Trust yourself. Trust the universe and the cycles of life.

Random ass vibes: shooting stars, fate, Pink Floyd, manifestation, rabbits, roses, welcome to night vale, k-pop bands, purple, 'im hungry', rubber bands?, earth.

The Table and Tools

First I wanna say the cards are syncing up soo well with the group images, group one got mostly wands and y'all got a near-perfect balance of suits, with one less sword card than the rest. So y'all may need more focus, objectivity, and clear communication in your life. I love this energy, y'all have a good idea of the life you want but you have no fuckin clue how to get there. You're very determined to get there though. I'm hearing 'shot in the dark'. Hmm, you seem to have trouble grounding your ideas. Don't get me wrong, the ideas you have are absolutely awesome. Just that you may have a tendency to fantasize about doing them, more than working on them. Babe, I'm a Pisces moon, I do the same thing. I keep getting hung up on your ideas and not the situation or advice because the ideas are just sooo good. Holy shit. You can see this future where you've got all your needs met, where you are super generous and abundant. I think one problem you may be having is that you have too many awesome ideas for the future and maybe have trouble picking a direction to go. Because they're all so fun. These things though, seem very private. Almost like you're hiding them. You want this absolutely beautiful life but you can't let others know you want it. Or you may only be sharing it with a few people. Maybe the life you want is hugely different than the life you have now and you're worried about others judging you. This dream of yours is very close to your heart.

Y'all have a shit ton of the Magician's energy already, like damn. BUT, you need to utilize more of the tools you have. It's funny, the last pile needed more Pentacles energy and you need more of the Swords. The Swords are all about decisive, focused action. Cutting through the bullshit and making a plan. You have a lot of ideas for your life, but you can't pursue them all at the same time. So, maybe try picking one to work on for now, if you end up not liking it you can switch. Or even if you do like it and later in life, you want to go a different direction, you can. Your life is your life. It's supposed to make you happy, not your father or your mother or your brother. You. If you can't do some of it right now, do what you can. Life isn't all or nothing. Ok, I got a specific message for someone: It's okay to be a partial fan, your not a fake fan for only liking some of it or not knowing everything about it. To expand on that a lil bit for everyone, it's okay to just do something as a hobby. It's okay to be a beginner. To start something and change your mind. To just not want the life that everyone else wants. To not go to college. To not want to aim higher. It's okay to want what you want. What do you want? Find it. Plan for it. What can you do now, to get there later? Pursue it. Fight for it. Cut out the bullshit. You've got the passion, the creativity, and the materials. Now you just need the plan.

Random ass vibes: wind, are y'all eating something while reading this?? (not judging, just a vibe), archery, arrows, nighttime, 4 (four), poetry, books, astronomy, bicycles or motorcycles, psychic abilities.

So Below

Ok, my back started hurting as soon as I started this reading? Y'all okay? I thought the last group was stuck in their heads, but damn y'all got them beat. Because this is a reading about the Magician's energy and it uses the tools of the suits of tarot. The suits that come out have been very telling and y'all got mostly Swords and Wands. With only one of each, Cups and Pentacles. That tells me that y'all are VERY much in your heads. You seem to be pretty smart and creative but have trouble grounding your ideas or connecting with emotions. You seem to be kinda lost in your own world. Ok, don't take this the wrong way, but it's like you feel the need to lie about how well you're doing in certain areas of your life? I don't actually it's lying so much, as making things seem better than they are? You may feel the need to put on a brave face around certain people. Keep up appearances, so to speak. You feel like you need to suppress your emotions for the good of others. Oh my god, guides are funny today. Sweet Emotion by Aerosmith just started playing on the radio. That song doesn't have any real meaning to add to the reading, it's just a lil joke or confirmation. You may be the type to avoid problems by escaping into fantasy or fiction. Some may be doing that by using alcohol or drugs. Not judging but it may be getting to the point that it's costing you? You may not be taking a real role in your own life. Avoiding major life choices and letting life choose for you. The thing is you have super strong intuition. That you seem to be suppressing and confusing because you're out of touch with the world around you. A few of you know about your intuitive abilities but are downplaying them to seem more logical to the people around you.

This is so funny, each group has needed to work more with the energy of a different tool or tarot suit. Y'all though need two. Cups and Pentacles. The Cups are all about emotions, relationships, and nurturing. The Pentacles are about grounding, practicality, and the material world. So, what y'all need to do to embrace the Magician's energy is to connect more with the world around you. I know it sounds counter-intuitive if you're wanting to strengthen your spirituality but balance is the key. You can and should do both the spiritual and the material. I'm getting a message for some of those that resonated with the bit about avoiding reality with fiction: you could try to find a hobby that you can still take a break from your problems with but that is more grounded. Working with clay is one that popped into my head. Go out and do something with your friends (safely). Or even by yourself. You can go read in the park. Embrace the world and people around you. You need things with more structure, more tangibility. Cooking is another good one. If you're the type to use alcohol, pot or other drugs may be slow down a bit. (not judging at all, this message is for anyone who uses it excessively). It's okay to enjoy things you like but you don't want to miss out on your life. You can't let life make the choices for you and then wonder why you don't have the life you want. I just heard 'that's harsh'. I know and I'm sorry. I'm trying to be gentle but the cards are pushing the need for a wake-up call and there's only so much softening I can do without losing the message entirely. I get the feeling that you keep doing tarot readings and asking for messages and then ignoring what you're told? Now, guides are yelling like 'HEY, LISTEN'. They want you to enjoy the world around you and not hide from it. They want you to be happy and you can't do that by letting your life pass you by.

Random ass vibe: abandoned buildings? 11, sailing, boats, turtles, aliens, music, books, water, earth, 44, lightning, marvel, social media.

[askmalal]

M: I believe we have a new question to consider, siblings.

Hashut: Shit.

Tzeentch: And that would be?

M: Sister Calliope would very much like to know who gave Sanguinius his wings, apparently. A post on her... Tumbler.. blog... thing.

Hashut: Hell!

Nuffle: Wasn’t that Steve-Dave?

M: Whom?

Khorne: NUFFLE IS ON A KICK. HE HAS RECENTLY BEGUN TO REFER TO THE EMPEROR AS STEVE-DAVE.

Slaanesh: Aww. Our little man has finally seen ‘Mall Rats’

Nuffle: What’s that?

M: Ahem. The wings. Who gave them. Fess up. *stares daggers at Tzeentch*

Tzeentch: Why are you looking at me? I’ve got nothing to say about angel boy.

Nurgle: You had motive. And opportunity.

Tzeentch: Nonsense.

Slaanesh: Opportunity: everything interesting on Baal is mutated.

Nuffle: Points to conjured image of a teenage Tzeentch with braces, wearing a “Baal High School” sweatshirt.

Tzeentch: Go Death Worms!

Slaanesh: *points to photo of Magnus' fluffy wings*

Tzeentch: Correlation is not causation.

M: Motive: You are a well documented bird fucker.

Tzeentch: Easy there, you three eyed, faceless twat....

Nurgle: That was overly harsh.

Tzeentch: Tired of him making fun of my aesthetic, grandfather.

Nurgle: And I'm tired of people thinking they are witches in the Fall, but we don't always get what we want.

Nuffle: You tell them, Grandpa Steve-Dave!

Khorne: NO. NO, THAT'S ENOUGH. IT WAS FUNNY IN 1996. NOW, NOT SO MUCH.

Tzeentch: Why does it have to be me? Any of you could have done it.

Slaanesh: Turned me down at Cygnus. I know how consent works. And time isn't linear for us, given we exist outside time. As such, I refute your argument.... bird fucker.

M: *snickers*

Tzeentch: Then Khorne!

Khorne: BITCH, PLEASE. MY WINGS ARE LEATHERY AND HELP TO KEEP AFLOAT ON WARM UPDRAFTS.

Tzeentch: Bitch?

Khorne: I APOLOGIZE, LITTLE BROTHER. I AM DEVELOPING A NEW APPROACH TO GETTING THE YOUNG, HIP, KIDS TO FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

Hashut: Is that why you're having Nuffle watch 1990s Kevin Smith movies?

Khorne: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. NUFFLE DOES AS NUFFLE WILLS IT.

Nuffle: *snickers* Hey, Mal. Want a chocolate pretzel? *snickers*

M: *growls* I realize that you, little thing, cannot die. But you will wish that you could if you come anywhere near me with that poorly veiled attempt at 'stink palming' me.

Nurgle: Then who else could have done it?

Hashut: Don't look at me. I don't mess with Primarchs.

M: Shoots a look.

Hashut: ...that anybody is still allowed to talk about.

M: *nods* Now, Nurgle?

Nurgle: He'd have insect wings. We've established this as my niche, and I'm happy to produce a quality product.

M: Which leaves Nuffle, or one of the other lesser gods.

Nuffle: Say what now?

Tzeentch: Why not -you-, Malal?

M: Look at the color of the wings, and get back to me.

Tzeentch: *grumbles* Well, either way, I didn't do it.

M: I'm afraid we'll have no answer for Calliope then.

Khorne: SORRY. WISH I HAD MORE INFORMATION FOR YOU. SORT OF BUSY BURNING DOWN SEVERAL CIVILIZATIONS.

M: And yet you are still playing "Old School Runescape."

Khorne: I CAN MAKE MILLIONS IN BAKED POTATOES, MALAL. MILLIONS.

M: Oh well. Guess we'll never know.

Nuffle: Why the hell can't I see this fucking sailboat?!!!

***

(In a dark corner, watching)

Neocho: *steeples fingers* I don't believe in angels.

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

CURSED: CHAPTER FIVE

"Had I known how to save a life"

Kai Parker x OC!Mack Grace

Series synopsis: "We're both cursed, in a way."

We all know the story of Kai Parker, but he once lived in a very different life. Do you ever wonder what that life looked like?

Chapter summary: there’s a party

Warnings: ben is a douche, Kai is kinda sweet

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

It had been about 20 minutes since they realised Nicole was alive and a lot had happened, Mack had broken into more tears and an ambulance had arrived. The fire engine had retrieved Nicole and she was on her way to the hospital, everyone else either stood around awkwardly in shock or heading home. Mack leant against a tree and sunk to her knees covering her face with her hands. She sat there for god knows how long. She hadn't seen Kai or Ben since the almost fight and she didn't particularly want to either. She looked up a someone cleared their throat.

"Need a hand?" Kai said - almost shyly - holding his hand towards her. Mack stared into his eyes but didn't move, before Kai sighed and extended his hand further. "C'mon Kenz, I don't bite." She carefully put her hand in his and Kai yanked Mack to her feet, pulling her close to him and whispering in her ear. "At least not unless you want me to." His hot breath fanned across her face and Mack looked away turning red. Kai stepped back and winked, backing away.

No matter the situation, Kai always managed to make Mack so flustered and it annoyed the shut out of her. Why? Why him of all people? Mack sighed, annoyed and walked towards Ben's car, before noticing it was gone.

"Need a ride?" Kai's cocky voice sounded from behind her. Mack threw her head back before looking back up and putting on a fake smile and turning to face him.

"No- yes. Please." She said quickly, a smirk breaking into Kai's face and he gestured for Mack to follow him. His unlocked his jeep and let Mack inside before going to his side of the car and climbing in.

Mack rested her head back against the seat and the tears suddenly fell. She was so close today, too close. Kai froze.

"You okay, Kenz?" You could slightly heat the concern in his voice. She clenched her eyes shut and pressed her lips together before turning to Kai and shaking her head. "Hey, hey. It's fine. She didn't die, it's not your fault, Kenz. It's that jackass you call a boyfriend." She nodded and he placed a tentative hand on her shoulder, not sure what to do.

"It's not fine, Kai." She spat through the tears, breaking down into even more.

"Shhhh, okay it's not fine. But it's still not your fault." He reassured her, before pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her. The embrace was awkward at first, but they both melted into it soon enough. Kai's hand ran through Mack's messy hair and he rubbed her back soothingly, trying to make her calm again.

As the tears subsided Mack pulled away and wiped her now wet eyes before sitting back into her seat. Kai's Starr was still on her.

"You need anything?" His voice was unsure.

"Just take me home, please."

~

The sun leaking through the slight gap in the curtains made Mack's eyes fluttered open. She groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers back over her head. But they were yanked back down straight away.

"Ah ah ah sweetheart, you don't want to miss breakfast do you?" The sound of Kai's voice from beside her made Mack shoot up and instantly look under the covers. Clothes were on. But they were not what she was wearing last night. She was in one of Kai's AC/DC T-shirts and her underwear. Shit. She looked to the side to see a grinning Kai laying over the covers with his hands folded behind his head and his ankles casually crossed. Her eyebrows pulled together as she spoke.

"Why am I-" Kai cut her off before she could get any further.

"In completely different clothes to last night? I thought you'd be uncomfortable in a wet suit." Kai's smirk was evident through the insistent grin.

"You saw me naked?!" Mack almost screeched with wide eyes, holding the covers over her chest.

"Maybe." His grin was now a full-blown smirk. Mack made a noise of disbelief before slapping his arm and scrambling out of the bed, trying to hold the covers over her half-naked body but failing. Her feet twisted with the dark blue sheets and her shoulder collided with the wall.

"Ouch." Kai mused through his hysterical laughter and Mack stumbled into the adjoined bathroom and kicked the door shut with her foot, shouting a muffled 'fuck off!' as she did so.

Once getting into the bathroom Mack instantly spotted her wet suit and bikini top on the floor. Mack double checked the door was locked before tugging the t-shirt over her head and putting her cloths from yesterday back on. A sudden knock on the door made her jump.

"You know, wet suits are uncomfortable. I could always lend you some clothes." Kai shouts from the other side of the door. Mack sighed and unlocked it.

"Really?" She asked hopefully, popping her head round the side. Kai thrust an armful of clothes towards her and Mack backed into the bathroom to get changed. "Thanks."

"No problem, you look sexy in my clothes anyway." Kai winked and Mack scoffed before rolling her eyes and closing the door.

A minute later she walked out clad in light grey sweats and another one of Kai's t-shirts, this was a black Nirvana one.

"Kai?"

"Yes, Kenz."

"Why am I not home?" For some reason Mack hadn't asked that question yet.

"You fell asleep in the car and I felt too bad to wake you so I took you back to mine." Kai said with a fake pout.

"You felt bad? Wow. Funny." Mack scoffed. "Wait. I slept in your bed, which means-" Kai cut her off again.

"I slept on the couch." He finished for her, flashing a smile of innocence. Mack's mouth was still open. She closed it after a second and frowned.

"Oh."

"You want a ride home?"

"I thought you said breakfast was ready."

"I did, and I lied. I just didn't know how you'd react to being woken up and I was bored." Mack rolled her eyes at Kai's words and picked up her stuff.

"Sure. Take me home." Kai stayed on the bed. "Please." He jumped up and brushed past her and out the door.

"Whatever you say babe." Mack stopped in her tracks.

"Babe? That's what you've resorted to now?" The disbelief her her voice clear.

"Well, you told me you didn't like princess, so..." Kai trailed off and grinned before continuing his was down the stairs.

"Where's Jo? And your parents?" Mack wondered as Kai locked the door.

"They're away for the week." He said simply.

"The whole week? Without you?" Mack pushed.

"I didn't want to go. It's some family thing - there's always something happening." He shrugged, getting into his car.

"Oh." Mack could've think of anything else to say.

"So I'm having a bunch of people round mine tonight, wanna come?" Kai asked with a smirk. Mack shook her head and tried to hide her laugh.

"I'll pass. Hanging out with you're lot never works out well for me." Mack snorted.

"'My lot'? What's that, Kenz?" Kai tilted his head questioningly.

"You know, the popular kids. The jocks and self-obsessed bitches that gossip and call themselves pretty." Kai raised a brow.

"Self-obsessed bitches who think they're pretty? What'd they do to you?" Kai laughed. Mack crossed her arms and scoffed. "That bad?!" He continued laughing.

"I meant what I said. I used to be part of that crowd, realised they were awful and graduating school was more important so I left." Mack defeated. All Kai did in response was nod.

"Here we are, babe." Kai pulled into Mack's drive and brought the car to a stop. She rolled her eyes but said nothing.

"Thanks." Mack said before getting out the car and walking into the house.

"Think about tonight! It's starts at 8!" Kai shouted before driving off.

~

"Mack!" Kim shouted. Mack groaned and padded over to her door, flinging it open and shouting back.

"What?!" Mack answered with a bored voice.

"Ben's here! He's coming up!" Kim replied and sauntered off, letting Ben make his way up the stairs.

"Hey babe." Ben greeted as he walked through her door, placing a chaste kiss on Mack's lips. She cringed internally and turned away, plopping back down onto her bed. "Get changed. We're going to Kai's." Ben spoke.

"W-What? I already told him I wasn't going." Mack defended.

"Since when are you hanging out with Kai? And hurry up, we need to be there in 20 minutes." Ben's tone was demanding.

"He took me home last night after you disappeared." Ben rolled his eyes and folded his arms over his chest. "And I'm not just gonna up and leave because you tell me too." Ben's expression was over taken with rage.

"Yes. You. Are. You never go out with me and people are starting to think you're not into me. You're coming." With that Mack gave up, scared to anger her boyfriend further. She pulled some cloths out her drawer and put them on, discarding her pyjamas on her unmade bed and walking over to Ben. He pulled her into him, making Mack gasp, and brushed his hand over her cheekbone before trailing it over her curves and grabbing her ass. "Mmmm, you look sexy. I can't wait to tear this off you later." Ben whispered in her ear before intertwining their hands and pulling her out of the room with him.

As they pulled into Kai's drive Mack slipped out the car and waited for Ben, who wrapped his arm around her waist and led Mack to the front door. He knocked loudly and the door soon swung open, revealing Kai, who's head was facing away from them.

"Sure, just don't go in Jo's room - she gets cranky if everything isn't perfect." Kai shouted down the hall to someone in the house. Mack soon spotted the couple rush up the stairs and she put two-and-two together. "Hey guys." Kai greatest with a smile as he turned back to them, shooting Mack a subtle wink when he saw her and making her cheeks flush. "Come on in. Mi Casa es su Casa." He said, stepping to the side and holding his arm out as an invitation.

The couple ventured into the house, walking their way to the living room where around 10 of Ben's friends were sat with red solo cups in their hands all laughing at something someone had said.

"Ben! My man!" A guy called Mitchell shouted as he clapped Ben on the back, who was already smiling and greeting all his friends. The two found a place on the sofa, where Ben pulled Mack into himself further. Kai sat down on Mack's other side - not before handing both of them a drink and sending her a smirk as she looked his way. She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the girl sat on a bean bag on the opposite side of the coffee table that occupied the centre of the room.

"Who wants to play truth or dare?" She slurred slightly. Cheers hollered through the room and eventually everyone had agreed. "Okay, Matthew. Who's the sexiest girl in this room?" The girl started. Matthew surveyed the room, before his eyes landed on a girl Mack new as Sophia. He bit his lip, giving her a once over and winking.

"It's gotta be Sophia, baby." He called back and the boys laugh, Sophia giggling and blushing slightly. "Right, my turn." Matthew looked over everyone until he saw Kai. "Okay, new guy. Best sex you've ever had?" Kai shook his head.

"For-fit, give me the dare, dude." His ever-present smirk was still there but he looked sheepish, almost. Lots of 'ooooo's and 'that bad?'s came from the crown of teens.

"Okay, I dare you to take off an item of clothing." Matthew orders. Kai grins and pulls his t-shirt over his head, leaving it on the floor and sitting back into the couch. Mack felt herself keep giving his toned, bare chest glances and had to stop herself, instead focusing on the next dare. She missed the first part but caught the end of it.

"Courtney, I dare you to take off your panties and give them to the guy in this room you'd be most likely to smash." Kai said with an evil smirk, looking in the direction of a blonde girl who was wearing a short black skirt and crop top. Her cheeks flushed red and she stood up, removing her underwear and shyly walking over to a guy Mack didn't know the name off. Courtney placed the fabric in his hand before sitting back down, crossing her legs awkwardly.

Mack zoned out for a while, only snapping back to reality when she heard Ben's name.

"Ben, what's the dirtiest thing you've ever done with Mack?" One of the guys asked with a sly expression. Mack looked down at her hands and twiddled her thumbs, feeling everyone's gaze on her. She drowned out Ben's response the second she heard him start.

"Well Mack does this thing with..." she didn't listen to the rest. There was a chorus of cheers and 'no way!'s before Ben settles back into the seat. "Okay babe, what's your dirtiest secret?" Ben asked, nudging her side playfully. That I want to see Kai Parker over me, she thought instantly. She shook herself out of it quickly.

"Um, pass. D-dare please." She said sheepishly.

"Okay, I dare you to take off your bra." Ben said, kissing her cheek and winking at her. Mack leant forward, reaching around her back and unclasping her bra. She pulled the material from under her shirt and threw it on the floor. She heard someone shout 'the old Mack is back!' and everyone laughed, even her. Mack felt herself grow a bit more comfortable, like she used to be. She turned to the girl that started and asked:

"Okay, Tracy, what's your biggest fear?" Tracy refuses to answer. "Fine. Down 5 shots of the strongest alcohol Kai has in the house." Kai shook his head, grinning, beside her and pushed himself up, soon returning with some shot glasses and a bottle of whiskey. He set them out on the table and poured the shots.

Mack's attention was drawn to Ben who started kissing her neck, moving his hand to her inner thigh.

"Let's go somewhere a little more private." He whispered in her ear, pulling the girl up to standing. He held her hand in his, dragging her away from the living room and towards the stairs. As they turned the corner Mack caught Kai's eye, who looked almost disappointed to see her leaving with her boyfriend. His look soon turned to one of sympathy and Mack gulped, turning back to look at her boyfriend who wore a dark expression.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[mama-ghostie-61542]

A Thousand Lifetimes

Rated M++ for language and themes

If you recognize it--IT AIN'T MINE

Sorry for the OOC-ness

Chapter 7

Kihyun

The next day, after two fittings with costumes, two phone interviews, a shoot for an ad, and a tv spot; I finally got back to the dorms, and back to that story.

Bryn PoV--

As if today wasn't bad enough, I walked into the house to find it completely empty. The kids wandered around and I tried to field a million questions about where they were gonna sleep and what we were gonna eat. That and the meltdowns every five minutes led me to try to call my little brother. I really just needed to talk to another grown-up. As soon as I had supper figured out, I called Joey.

"Hello," said a voice on the other end of the phone.

"Ummm. Hi?"

"Oh. Hello," The voice was familiar, but it wasn't Joey.

"Is Joey close?"

"Sorry. Who?"

"Sorry. Jooheon. Kids call him 'Uncle Joey'. Guess it stuck."

"Hmm. No. You just missed him."

"Dern. Can you pass on a message?"

"Sure."

"Can you tell him to call Bryn when he gets back?"

"Oh! I didn't recognize your voice, Bryn. How are you? It's Kihyun. Joey is in the shower. Can I help you with whatever you need," I asked, biting my lip and praying she would say yes. Just the sound of her voice was both soothing and somehow able to tie me up in knots.

"Actually, I was calling to vent. I've had a particularly terrible day today. Joey is my sobriety sponsor."

"He is? Wow," I said before Honey came charging at me, his hair still wet. "I would still LOVE to talk to YOU," I shouted.

"Gimmie my phone, Kihyun."

I handed him back the phone and heard him say

"What's up, Sis?"

Though I couldn't hear exactly what was said, I could tell by the look on his face, it wasn't good.

"Really?"

Then, Honey sighed. "Lemme see what I can do from here."

"Please, let me help."

If it were possible for him to get any more pissed off, he did. "HE WHAT," he yelled. Then, he pulled the phone from his ear and said, "I need a one way ticket to Peoria International!! I'm gonna kill him. I am gonna fuckin' kill him." Next, he put the phone back to his ear, "Lemme see what I can do here, Sis," he growled as he demanded numbers and wrote them down, and then hung up.

As he started digging on the internet to find the cheapest fare, HyunWoo said, "Hold it, Hot Shot. What happened?"

"That douchbag finally left. He took everything! Even the kids stuff. He left them with NOTHING! That is why Sis was calling. He cleaned out their account and took everything. Damn lucky he couldn't touch the shop accounts or he would have cleaned them out too. Literally everything. She needs a little cash to feed the kids til Friday."

"Thank God it is Wednesday," said CK. from the far side of the room. If anyone had bothered to look, the reflection on his glasses was an Amazon cart with 37 things in it. The only time ANYONE has that many things in an Amazon cart is when they are buying groceries. However, most of those were chips or snack cakes.

Honey, Min, and HyungWon all sat down to iron out how much and what they were gonna contribute.

Silently, I picked up my bank book and palmed the slip of paper with her info on it. Only HyunWoo saw me slip out the door. He stopped me as I waited for the elevator and handed me a few bills from his own wallet before turning back towards the room.

"What," was all I could get out before he interrupted, cutting me off mid-question.

"We look out for our own," He answered before he opened the door to the dorm.

After heading to the nearest Western Union, I called the number on the slip from Honey. When she picked up, I smiled.

"Hey, Bryn, it's Kihyun. I wired you some money. Should be about $100, if everything gets exchanged right."

"Kihyun, you guys didn't have to do that. My dad was already gonna feed the kids. I just needed to talk to someone. This has got me so shaken up, I want a drink really bad. Guess I wasn't too clear with Joey."

"Really? Then why was he," I stopped as a shadow fell over me. "Well, shit. Guess who is now standing right behind me."

"Tell him to calm down."

"Bryn says to calm down. She told me to sit on you if I have to."

"Kihyun! I did not."

"I paraphrased," I laughed. "Besides, Sweets, if looks could kill, I'd be dead right about now."

"Really," she chuckled.

"Oh yeah. He is probably gonna follow me all the way to the dorm. I guess I am not allowed out on my own," I laughed.

"Why," She asked.

"I tend to do dumb things, according to others. Though they may be a little impulsive, they always work out in the end. So don't look the horse in the mouth."

"I won't."

"Good girl," I laughed, "So why did you call him, anyway?"

"I needed someone I could yell at that would not take it personal."

"I am always here. Though, I may occasionally yell back."

She laughed. "Thank you."

"For?"

"Making me laugh. I needed that. "

"Damn. I was looking forward to the screaming match. C'mon, get it started, Angelface," I said as I stopped at the stoplight and waited for the crosswalk. "Do you want me to start," I asked, then pulled the phone away and yelled.

Bringing the phone back to my face, I asked as the crosswalk lit up and I crossed the street, "How was that," I grinned.

"A 10. A fuckin' 10. Have you thought of being a Rockstar," she laughed.

I could almost hear the smile on her face, which made me laugh. Even if my throat killed me in the morning it was worth it.

"Hey, hang on a second. I want to send you something," I said as I put my phone on speaker and started the camera.

"Oh dear God, what now," she asked.

I took a short video of me sending her a kiss and sent it off. "Nothing bad."

"Ok, if you say so. Just not cool with unsolicited dick pics from strange men."

"I would not send you unsolicited dick pics, nor am I a stranger. Now, if you asked for them...Like a good girl," I started and looked over at Honey, who was looking at me with the 'better never do that' face. "Uh-oh."

"What?"

"I'm getting side eye."

She laughed and said, "I know just the look. It screams, 'You'd better not be sending photos of ANY part of your anatomy to my sister'."

"Yes," I laughed. "So how are you feeling? Better?"

"Much. Thank you."

"No problem. I'm here all week. Try the veal," I laughed. "Still want a drink," I asked.

"No. The laughs did it for me. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Darling. So did you get the video I sent?"

"I did. That was very sweet. Thanks."

"You are very welcome, Pretty Lady. Well, we are back at the dorms."

"I should probably go then," she sighed.

"Just remember I am also available for Mitzvahs," I chuckled, which made her laugh. "Seriously, Sweetie, anytime you need a sounding board or a laugh fest, a screaming match or some naughty-Ow, Mother fucker!-I got smacked on my arm for that last bit. I am always here,"

"Thanks again. Until next time."

I paused and came VERY close to telling her how I felt but said, instead, "Again, you are welcome."

"Bye, Kihyun."

"Bye, Bryn," I breathed, then hung up.

Honey looked at me as he crossed his arms over his chest, "It took everything you had to not tell her 'I love you' didn't it?"

All I could do was nod and hope that my dreams tonight would be better than they had been.

As we got into the elevator, He said, "It was good hearing that you made her laugh."

"I love the sound of her laughter. Once I got her started, I didn't want her to stop. I think that she is just as funny as she is sweet."

"You do know that she will do one of two things, right?"

"What two things?"

"Either immediately send the money right back, or hang on to it and physically give you back every bit. She hates asking for help...of any kind," he said as he opened the door to our dorm.

"Yeah? Wonder why."

He just laughed, "Her ex-fiancée, ex-husband, and her father."

"What happened," I asked as I made us a pot of coffee.

"They all held every penny over her head. Her dad decided he wanted her out the minute she turned 18 and to do it, he threw her out the boat, so to speak. Said if she floated, she never needed help anyway; and if she sank, well, it was her own fault."

"That's abuse. Financial abuse."

"Yep. He was the kind to tell her everything she had was his, that she owned nothing; not even the clothes on her back. He comes from the 'I Own You' school of parenting. Her ex-fiancée would demand she work, then make her late, so she would lose any job she got. Then, he'd take any money she got paid and use it for crap he wanted rather than the bills she had it ear-marked for."

"Oh, tell me he didn't."

"Oh he did. Spent it on girls at the local under 21."

"Shit. He screwed around on her, didn't he?"

"Yep. Which is why if you ever think about cheating, I will castrate you myself," he growled.

Somehow I knew he would do it, and I would let him. "Don't have to worry about that. Can you tell me about her ex-husband?"

"That asshole was a piece of work. Emotionally, Mentally, and Fiscally abusive. The entire time they were together, he would pinch a penny until it died if it was something she needed, but she was expected to turn over her things and cash to him. She worked second shift in a factory; out of the house from half 1 to almost 1 am. He was in semi driver school at the time, racked up a HUGE amount of debt; I'm talking almost 40K. Constantly accused her of cheating when he had a different lot lizard every night. It's a miracle he never gave her anything."

I was disgusted by this guys behavior. To have a woman like her waiting at home and trying his best to break her.

"And that isn't even the worst of his offenses. He screamed at her one night while he was over the road, on training. She was at work, and he called her on her lunch break. The entire time, he screamed at her for having a cold sore and yelled about her cheating loud enough for her co-workers to hear. Her boss to tell her to turn off her phone; that he was tired of hearing that jerk yell at her. The guy he was learning with, told him that 'If I were her, I would be calling the lawyer first thing in the morning, after that shit.' He 'apologized' pretty quickly after that."

"Icky. I hope she ended it there."

"No. That girl has a ton of stay and No show. He ended up deployed to Egypt and told his brother about the girls there. Never thought his brother would run and tell her. She still didn't leave. You left a blister on her cheek one night and he threw her out in the snow."

"Stay and no show? I'm not sure I understand."

"Horse terms," came a voice from the doorway. I had forgotten Hoseok was staying with us while his apartment was getting the pipes fixed. "When a filly is learning to ride, it's said she is full of Show and no Stay. Meaning she looks good, but is too skittish to stand still. Sis--Well Sis may not look like much, but she has tons of loyalty to those who show her the same. She has the patience to play a 30 year long game, and the courage to weather ANY storm. But she has a problem knowing when to leave, and so she gets hurt."

"Hold up! He threw her out in the snow?!"

As Hoseok filled his own mug, he answered, "Yeah, he threw her out of the apartment in the middle of a snowstorm. Lucky her parents were in town. So if you start this with her, and you ever want out; you are gonna have to straight up tell her to go. She won't understand otherwise. She doesn't play games and has a tough time with subtly. So always be direct and honest with her."

I nodded taking it in. There was something I thought I wanted, so I asked, "How is her aegyo"

"If you are looking for overt aegyo, don't. Hers is subtle but she has got it in spades, and she doesn't even know it. It's in the way she plays, either with her guy or her kids," he said as he leaned against the counter, "It's in the subtle blush when you say or do something for her without her asking. It's in a compliment and the smiling eyes that comes with it. She has never had some of the things other girls take for granted, like a stolen kiss or flowers on her birthday. Other things, like those romantic gestures, she has only had once or twice. If I remember right, the last guy to 'play' was an FWB years and years ago, and that guy only stole one kiss, once," Honey replied.

"Don't expect her to run with girls. Most girls find her too harsh, too rough. She doesn't appreciate girls and their whiney, gossipy ways. She never wears makeup, and I have never once seen her with her nails painted. She is a guys-girl, a tom-boy through and through; wasn't made delicate. She is stronger than most people will ever know. However, her heart is extremely delicate, it's been broken and bruised so bad, even I wonder how she is still alive. So, let me tell you, right now," Hoseok said as he sat down his mug and leaned over the counter in my direction, "She may not be blood, but she is my sister."

"Hmm," I nodded. "You really don't have to worry about that," I replied. "How are you related to her again," I asked.

"Distant cousin. Her auntie married my mothers little brother, for all of five minutes. I am only gonna tell you this once, if you hurt that filly in ANY way; you wont walk again."

"Got it," I replied, cringing.

"You know that she won't ask for what she wants or needs. You are gonna need to be damned good at reading between the lines, cause she is so afraid that if she tells you what she needs, what she wants, you will do the same thing every one else has done," Honey said after a minute.

"Run," I answered nodding.

"Yep. Most men can't handle her intensity so they either run or try to turn her down to levels that they can handle without realizing that her fire isn't meant to be dimmed, but fed. She is gonna need you to be just as emotional as her, to show her that it is ok to feel again. She is very touch oriented, very tactile. So a lot of her feelings are touch related."

"I understand, Joey."

"You had better. The only reason I didn't beat the shit out of the other assholes, is that I wasn't there. If I had been, I would have had no problems with a few months in the county lock-up. And if Clark had tried that shit while I was there..."

"Really?"

"Yeah. See, the shit of it is, she fades into the background. She doesn't want all those things that other girls want. She isn't the kind to run or chase. She doesn't play games. She is also emotional. Ease into it. Don't try to love bomb her, she went through that shit with Clark and won't put up with it from you," Hoseok said, then turned to Joey, "Speaking of, did you hear what Lone Elm called him?"

Joey shook his head.

Hoseok grinned. "Elm called him a fuckin fishstick."

Joey started laughing, "Elm called him 'Fishstick'."

I looked back and forth between the two men who were holding themselves up on the counter while they laughed. "I don't get it. What-What's a fishstick?"

A hand landed on my shoulder from behind. I turned to see Changkhyun standing there, an amused look on his face.

"Fishsticks are only available in the States. They are mashed-up fish paste, about an inch wide by around six inches long, which is then breaded. Then, they are to be baked in an oven. Either they turn out soggy or they are hard as a rock; inedible either way. Which is good, because they are fuckin' gross. Nasty little things."

"Are they like the fish at Mickey's?"

"No," CK stated. "The fish there is actually decent. Fishsticks are generally served in school hot lunches on Fridays due either to religious reasons, or because they are cheap and can be purchased by the gross. At any rate, they are still inedible."

"Icky. How in the hell can people do that to their kids?"

"Not a clue. That was why I always took my lunch on Friday. Every Friday, the hot lunch was always the same thing; rock hard fishsticks, soggy tater tots, dehydrated-rehydrated mixed vegetables, and golden glow salad with mayonnaise on the top. It was the grossest meal I have ever seen in my entire life."

I shuddered to think of those poor kids. Forced to eat that nasty stuff.

After reading that, I was glad her kids never had to eat that. She fixed boxes for them. School lunches in the States sounded gross.

'Some things were ok.'

'I thought you took your lunch, Mami?'

'I did. My dad said cold lunch was cheaper. But, there was one day, once or twice a month, that I would get school lunch. They called it pork pattie day, but it was a breaded pork tenderloin on a bun. It was pretty decent. It was pretty gross the rest of the time, but that day wasn't too bad.'

'Have I watched you fix those before?'

'Not sure.'

'Are those the sandwiches where you beat the pork chops to nothing and then bread and fry them?'

'Yes.'

'Those do look pretty tasty,' I said as I dug around for what to fix the next day, so I could write it on the board. 'Hmm. Help, please. Can't figure out supper.'

'Whatcha got?'

'Hmmm. Some sausages, some tiny shrimp, and a package of chicken,' I said as I dug around in the freezer.

"You can use the shrimp and chicken in Gumbo.'

'It has been quite a while since I've had Gumbo. I've never made it before though.'

'Look it up. There are a million Gumbo recipes out there.'

'I think I will do that. Thanks, Baby. Have I told you, today, how awesome you are??'

'Yes, but I can always stand to hear it again,' she laughed.

A/N)--The above abuses......actually happened. First hand experience.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jude & Jac

Jude: [post rave] Jude: you can stop your 1 woman campaign now, freshers looks fun, I admit it Jac: That's why they give out free shit and throw these things Jac: convince people like you, good to know you've fallen for it 🎣😏 Jude: I'm convinced enough to crash Trinity's 😜✌ Jude: here on out Jac: good luck, jailbait Jac: the two years you've got left in school show 👶 Jac: you can't even grow unconvincing facial hair like the boys in my year Jude: nah they don't, why ma & da get so stressed every time I leave the house 💋👗👠 Jac: Predators enjoying the fact you think so is another issue entirely Jude: 🙄😏 Jude: can never just have a nice chat with you Jac: What do you need to chat about? Jude: what do YOU need to chat about? Jac: That was an...attempt, I'll give you that Jude: alright, here's the nudge, her name starts with S & last time she was ranked she was at like a 4 Jude: but I'm willing to bump her up in light of recent events Jac: You've reconnected and + 1 up, have you? Jac: That's nice Jude: taking a decent 📷 is good for a few points Jude: probs should lose 'em again when it's dad 👍 but whatever Jac: Very generous Jac: do appreciate you keeping your 👍 to yourself Jac: what do you wanna ask then? Jude: ikr I'm in a generous mood Jude: I'm not forcing you into a q & a Jude: I just think it's good you're mates again Jude: be a bit weird having her there & not Jude: some girl isn't gonna be there 📷 to turn her into a headless 👻 whenever shit gets awkward Jac: That your professional opinion, captain obvious? Jac: well, cheers for your blessing, like Jude: I could tell you were waiting for it so Jac: Clearly Jac: the little you think about has always been my GREATEST concern 😏 Jac: and she'll be up and over the 🌙 at her new score, of course Jude: all I REALLY wanna know is if she has a 🌾🐄 accent now, like? be honest Jude: it's still silver 🥄 yeah? Jac: Err, come on, it was NEVER Southside Jac: and even if it was, that'd count for NOTHING here Jac: so posh some of 'em it's a speech impediment Jude: so you're saying she don't fit right in with the 👸🤴 & qualifies as a bit of rough instead Jude: gutted for her Jude: her ma'd be even more 💔 wonder how she is Jac: That isn't funny, Jude Jude: not about her mum, that was well sad Jude: posh boys not thinking Sav is, is a bit though Jac: Have you ever tried engaging your brain before you speak Jac: not being completely insensitive should not be this hard for you Jude: ?? Jac: Don't ?? at me Jac: you say it's 'well sad' but you're the one that cracked a joke in the first place Jude: I didn't Jude: not about that Jac: I'm not pulling it from nowhere, it's still on my screen Jac: I don't think you realize how badly you come across half the time Jude: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come across like a massive dickhead Jude: I think Sav's alright, I'm not trying to take the piss out of her Jac: Well it's alright this time 'cos you only said it in front of me Jude: be going a bit far to check in with her Jude: not weird at all Jac: you're saying I SHOULD put it past you? Jac: you are weird Jude: I'm saying I'm not about to say it front of her as I don't talk to her, am I Jac: doesn't mean getting into the habit of saying every 'hilarious' thought that enters your head out loud is a plan Jude: yeah alright Jude: fair enough Jac: Anyway, Sav isn't interested in any boys that look like they came from 🐴s not 🐒s Jude: 🤣 Jude: you wanna be careful saying 👦🏽👦🏾👦🏿 look like 🐒 but I get you Jac: She hasn't got a boyfriend of any colour so I weren't saying that Jude: I didn't reckon so, not unless she got a lad to follow her to uni Jude: but who wants that? Jac: Her ex was holding her back hardcore but he's given that up, thankfully Jude: he sounds like a right laugh & not at all like a prick Jac: That's boys for you Jude: 😜 Jude: when do they grow up? 40s or what? Jac: Have you met our father? Jac: never Jude: oh great Jac: 🤷 Jude: it's alright for you, you can get all the 🤓 lads when you're done studying or whatever Jude: least they'll be smart Jac: smart boys are worse Jac: they want to explain everything to you Jude: really? Jude: fuck that then Jac: dumb but kind are the lofty heights you can shoot for Jude: like a 🐶 Jac: yep Jac: loyalty too, forgo the collar Jude: yeah you're right that is lofty heights Jude: maybe when I'm 40, I can find a lad that don't need one Jude: stop him going over the road & 💔 me Jac: shitting where you eat is gross but convenient, that's boys Jude: 👍 Jude: Jess is so lucky he can pick a lad or a girl Jac: Most people are undesirable Jac: gay lads will only touch him if they think he's straight and that's their type Jac: and girls are a whole different beast altogether Jude: that'll be why he's so 😒 Jac: as a rule or more than usual right now? Jude: we all know why he's 😒 right now Jude: you pissed off somewhere more fun without him Jac: I think he's just fine Jac: and he did it first, every weekend, like Jude: speaking of, his latest gig was not the one Jude: so he's probably 😒 about that Jac: like, he was shit, the crowd weren't the right one or the equipment weren't? Jude: he needs a better 🎸 but that ain't news Jude: seemed like he didn't wanna be there to me Jac: Hm, a fight with one of his girlfriend or boyfriends then Jac: meant to make him better so he's fucked up there Jude: relatable Jac: 🙄 Jac: alright Jude: don't be 🙄 @ me Jude: your dating history ain't spotless Jac: I've never dated anyone so it is Jac: 📑 definition Jude: your hook up history then, you know what I mean cos me either Jac: I don't fall in love with them like an idiot, it's entirely different Jude: I fell in love with the one, who I was dating for a bit Jude: I'm not going about falling for 'em all Jac: Still did, didn't you Jac: I can't even remember any of mine Jac: nothing came into play but proximity and timing Jude: 🏆🥇 if you want Jac: take it over your 💔 obviously Jude: yeah Jac: 🙄 I repeat Jude: whatever Jude: I was stupid, it was ages ago Jac: you brought it up Jude: it was my mistake, I can Jac: not a sounding board for your whining Jude: alright, my bad Jac: used to you Jude: you've got your own room now, get over it, like Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jac: unfortunuately, that doesn't stop us sharing a family so I don't think I will, thanks Jude: it's a part time one for you now, don't have to see this face til 🎄🎅☃️🎁 Jac: Unfortunately, can stay over Spring though, but there's no catering in the Xmas hol 💔 Jude: 👎 - 1 point to St Andy's Jude: is Sav going to her mum or dad for the hols? Jac: better than home, get all my meals and room cleaned for me every week so Jac: literally only just got here, who's thinking about leaving Jac: some other halls you can stay, so maybe she'll find someone there, so she only has to do actual Xmas day or whatever Jude: me now, maybe I should bother going to uni if they're gonna clean for me Jac: only if you get into a good one Jac: and pay extra, hence most people are self-cater, but what else do I need my grant, loan and scholarship for, may as well Jude: 🤔 I hear you, that's unlikely Jac: you have time Jac: two years can change everything Jude: not my 🧠 it can't Jude: my concentration ain't there unless I'm doing 🎨 Jac: you could try harder, and you know it Jude: at what? Jac: concentrating on enough subjects to get you into a decent Uni Jac: you don't need every one, just enough to boost your points Jude: sounds easy that 😤😏 Jude: if I'm only in it for the 🧹🧺 🧼🧽 & I ain't 🤓 enough for one of 'em, ain't much point Jac: It's not about being nerdy or naturally intelligent, it's about being smart with the system Jude: yeah but it's probably also about going cos you wanna learn stuff & be there not just cos you wanna leave home for a bit Jac: most people never use their degrees, so you tell me Jude: that's true Jude: what subjects then? Jac: Depends what you want to do, Art in some form, assumedly? Jac: Fuck Irish and Spanish and PE, duh, knuckle down with your rest to up your points as much as you can then absolutely ace Art Jude: Alright, I'm decent at PE anyway Jude: that'll be easy points Jac: Exactly, no need to purposely fuck them up, but focus harder on the rest, especially the ones you are less decent at without trying Jude: please tell me you've left your notes here Jac: Of course Jac: under my bed, if you haven't lit it on 🔥 Jude: it's only been a week, gimme chance Jac: well, don't reckon they'll let you get a double yet Jac: I still need a place to crash in the holidays and it certainly won't be beside you snoring your head off Jude: might do if I steer clear of lads for a bit Jude: not that I've done half as much with 'em as everyone reckons I have Jac: People find shit to chat regardless, not worth paying no mind to, no more mind to stupid lads either Jude: I don't care if people don't reckon I'm a virgin still even though I am Jude: it's not like it matters Jac: Yeah, those people will all be irrelevant before you know it Jude: loads of people are well jealous of your uni btw Jude: reckoned you'd wanna hear that Jac: Of course Jac: x2 Jude: 😏 Jac: It's more of a flex than Trinity even, and only a handful of people got in there Jude: when did you work out what you wanted? it feels like you've been going on about it forever Jude: but like actually Jac: 🤔 Jac: I can't remember a point where it wasn't my plan, honestly Jac: more abstract when I was little and didn't have the titles and disciplines to put to it but Jac: I always liked murder mysteries and shit, what makes us tick Jude: right Jude: you love a true crime podcast Jac: 😏 Jac: but I'd rather deal with the living murderers than the corpses of their victims so Jude: well yeah Jude: 🦴🦷 bit gross Jac: 🧠 are much better Jude: long as you're not cutting into it Jac: I won't be Jac: if I'd combined biology, and gone that route Jude: I won't be either, tah Jude: science is proper hard Jac: Psychology has a shit load of it involved anyway, but I can blag it Jude: you're SO excited, I can tell Jude: 🤓💕 Jac: Of course I am Jac: it's everything I've ever wanted Jude: it's weird you're so far away though, it don't feel like you are Jac: Glad my prescence and now abscence had/have such a huge impact on you Jac: we both know why though so Jude: yeah Jac: it's different now Jude: good Jac: alright then Jude: give my love to Savannah, I know she'll have missed me Jude: that's the impact I have Jac: 👌👌 Jude: 😝 Jac: Do you really have a problem with Savannah? Jude: course not, I told you I think she's alright, it's just bants Jude: why does she have a problem with me? Jac: yeah, it's a massive grudge she took all the way to Sligo and back Jac: 🙄 Jude: you know what I mean Jude: has she said that I come across as a massive dickhead too or something? Jude: I don't wanna upset her, like Jac: you haven't come up a load in conversation, like Jac: oddly enough Jac: it's that Jac: she's like my girlfriend alright so you can't be a dick about her anymore, alright Jude: alright then Jac: is that all you're gonna say Jude: I won't take the piss out of her no more, like I said, I didn't mean it anyways Jac: you can react, you know Jac: it's big news on multiple counts Jude: it makes sense Jude: I get it now, why you were like that after she left Jac: Good Jac: I want you to know that Jac: don't change how it was, but still Jude: you could've just told me you rated her 10/10 Jude: is that why she left? like her family always seemed a bit off but I didn't think they were that bad Jac: I couldn't, though Jac: no, her mum wasn't coping Jac: as we all know now, and then the Isabelle stuff went down, so their dad stepped in Jude: yeah, but I mean, that's not part of why she slit her wrists, is it? Cos Sav doesn't need that to carry Jac: it was because the dad left and then took them, to put it as bluntly and without nuance as possible Jac: but that's all on him, not the girls, her mum isn't like blaming them, their relationship is getting better Jude: at least she was alright with you too dating then, nobody needs that dark ages mentality shit Jude: she's got enough going on Jac: well, she doesn't know about that yet Jude: but you were together back then, yeah? Jac: no, it's a new development Jac: as in, like, the other night new, no one really knows, I barely do Jac: things were complicated before Jude: oh okay, soz for backtracking so hard, I just thought Jac: yeah, that was the problem Jac: shit was assumed or it wasn't Jude: what a headfuck Jude: you're okay now though, right? Like the other night went alright Jac: I guess for context, before she left, I did kiss her and it went horribly Jac: I loved her then but she didn't and then she was gone Jac: I see how it sounded like pining there but no Jac: it's good now though, things have changed, we both have Jude: I knew something happened that night when you came back early, you were like a 👻 or like you'd seen one Jac: Yeah, that was what it was Jude: it won't happen again if things are different so Jac: not as bad Jude: I'm glad Jude: that this is the ending you get, cos it's not one, it's more like a beginning or whatever Jude: you don't have to be just excited for uni Jac: I know Jac: not that there's anything wrong with just being excited for Uni, tah very much Jac: whatever happens, I think we'll be able to stay friends this time so Jude: or you'll just marry her & have all the kids she obviously wants Jac: let's not get carried away, shall we Jude: 1. you never said I couldn't have bants with you still Jude: 2. there's nowt I don't know about her life plan, she talks LOADS Jac: You only have a problem with that because you want to be the one talking Jude: course I do Jac: it cannot be overstated how much I'd rather listen to her, is the point ❤ Jude: it'd be a bit rude if you were already like nah tah 🤐 it, babe Jude: probably don't do that Jac: That's your top tip and people really think you're not a virgin? Jac: Interesting Jude: it don't work out well for the lads who TRY it with me 😏 Jude: people reckon I'm not cos I'm that 🥇 yeah Jude: & cos lads have loads to say for themselves, most of which is bollocks Jude: but you're not a sounding board for my whinging, I remember Jac: 'Bants', dear sister, 'bants' Jude: 👍 Jac: anyway, I've got to go Jac: there's this variety show that is apparently hilarious, either actually or in how bad it is so Jude: & I've got loads of 📝📚📖📏📐to do if I'm gonna have my own freshers Jude: top quality entertainment like that, literally how could I not? Jac: sure you'll want to be in it yourself 😏 Jude: you're correct Jude: 👋 then

[somelazyassartist]

I hate this. I wish I could just talk to them without crying every time I try to. I want to be able to say hello without breaking down in tears. I want to stay friends because I don't know what I'd do without him and all I know is that I need him to be okay. I don't understand why I'm like this. Why do I have to take this so hard!? It's a stupid breakup! Why can't I just be happy for him!? He said he just fell out of love with me but I don't understand how! I've never fallen out of love with somebody before, I literally don't know how that happens! I don't know, I don't understand, I'm so stupid, I should know how things work but I don't! Why did I have to give everything to him, why did I invest all of my happiness in him, why do I have to be so pathetic, why am I unable to let this shit go, why why why!? I'm so fucking sick of myself at this point! And with Tumblr going to shit I'm going to lose the few friends I have left! Not that I deserve them anyways, but still! I'm so fucking broken! My grades are dropping, I'm constantly sick, every day my sleep schedule gets worse, my depression only grows, and I keep posting shit like this and burdening everyone! I'm so sorry, I'm so goddamn sorry I'm like this! And I've had three school shooting threats this week now, so that's just great! Maybe I'll actually get put out of my misery! That's just fucking perfect! Hooray, everything's going to shit! And the few friends I do have are either extremely worried about all the vent art I draw or make fun of my breakup and depression! Hardee har har, my suffering is soooooo funny, isn't it? I'm glad I get made fun of though! It's the least I deserve! I'm sorry I'm venting again, but things are just going downhill from here, baby!

[dianelikestotestmypatience]

"Pick Me!" - Diane, 2021

So you know how they say there are very distinguishing traits that lets you identify a pick me girl? Yeah well, go back to pick me girl school buddy, Diane will have you rip up your certificate and eat it.

She's a sneaky one, that Diane. A real life pick me girl that gives people a headache before they realize she is one. She may not do the typical pick me girl things nor say the typical pick me girl lines, but every action she does around guys truly scream, in bold bloody letters: PICK ME.

Let's list it down shall we? I love a list.

Everytime our guy friends are talking about something else entirely with our other girl friends, Diane dearest would swoop in and interrupt. She'd switch the subject to something so irrelevant, with a segway so jarring and obvious, everyone needs a second to think about how to continue. Oh and of course the subject would usually be something about her or her interest. Also she ever only does this when the guys are talking to other girls that isn't her. She never changed the topic if the guys are talking to each other. Nor change it when girls are talking to each other.

Whenever there's a conversation that is dominated by the guys, and they're talking about things that are not necessarily something the others know about, we DON'T pretend to know. We just ask about this new topic and show genuine interest in it. But oh no, not Diane. Something she cannot relate to with the boys? Unacceptable! No. Dear Diane would google that topic she doesn't know about. Then, almost say, word for word, whatever info she finds, to the boys. To show that yes, Diane, out of all the other stooopid girls, knows this topic. And of course the boys react positively to this and well, dear Diane did not anticipate them talking about it more and with deeper context. Uh oh, you can't exactly google that huh. So dear Diane, does what she does best and fake laughs at everything. Because nothing says "I find you genuinely funny" than typing "HAHAHAHAH" a dozen times after anything a guy says.

Which leads me to the third thing. Dear Diane loves laughing. But what's that? Why does she not laugh as much at our jokes when its just us girls, in comparison to when the guys are around. Oh did Jacob just say he thinks Bobba tea was Boobs tea? HAHAHAH. Oh goodness, Adam just told us about the time he fell...just a random normal fall...HAHAHAHAHA. Okay ...Oh Ian just said he forgot to log out of his game HAHAHAHAHA...wait how is that funny?...HUH DIANE?! HOW IS THAT FUNNY TOO???

You remember those pick me girl lines like "I'm so short you can pick me up lols" "I'm not like other girls omg" "girls are too much drama, that's why I only hang out with boys" ...well...Diane has her own lines that still very much are in the context of PICK ME I'm not like other girls! They are "I don't drink coffee" yeah no shit Diane, you mention that like every few hours. That's not a special personality trait. "I'm so short, people need to help me grab stuff" I'm literally 0.5 cm taller than you, why are you acting like that's so unique . "I'd rather study to get into Uni than go partying." So do so many other people Diane, humans have malleable priorities. It's nothing to shame on. "I'm in choir." Okay that's good for you, but why are you mentioning that when we were talking about a whole different topic ma'am? We KNOW you're in choir, you remind us everyday. Other people can sing just as good, they just don't brag about it as much as you do.

And lastly, the thing that boils my blood. Is how Diane dearest, when she sees any of the guys even compliment or show appreciation for one of the girl's talents or abilities or actions, Diane and her insecure little heart would swoop in. Either firing off backhanded compliments, shooting out criticism for whatever the girl was being complimented about, or throwing in a one-upping bomb of a statement that shows how desperate she is to be better than the girl receiving positive attention. And sometimes, when a girl was realllly lucky, Diane dearest would do all three. (Lucky girl was me, I am her.)

So, in conclusion, Diane is a Pick Me girl. Just a very covert one. And sadly, when I tried communicating to her about her behavior, Diane did the other thing she did best, play the victim and ignore her own faults.

I ...am...this...close...to...losing...it!

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Diego

Edie: Aygo! I got a pitch, you buying? Diego: give me more to go on Edie: oh yea, you too young to know how it usually goes on casting couches, my bad lil homie Edie: you got any super 8 atm? Diego: Can get some Diego: a day or two? Edie: what u gotta clear ur schedule big man Edie: u on ur business boi respect Edie: well, i think we could do most of it in a day buuuuuuut i gotta secure a car to trash and i haven't convinced iggy he don't need that fuckin' hippie van so that'll be another day as and when, ye? Diego: I can give you that Diego: on your own with the car situ Edie: ye ye ye i won't get u in the shit Edie: what kinda big sister would i be?! Edie: but, similar vein, don't tell mum and dad where we shooting okay Edie: you'll be safe with me but they'd never sign off on it ya feel Diego: understood Diego: where we going? Edie: don't u like surprises? 😜 Diego: hard no Diego: get a car that goes so we can store the equipment before killing it I'd like that Edie: What about ones you can't hear, better or worse? cos I've got some fireworks that might be cool Edie: you don't like surprises but you wanna DIE Edie: boi i can't drive! Edie: I'll see if I can get someone to take us but if not, hitch ur wagon to my pushbike Edie: just like old times n'awwh Diego: I'll steer you do the pedals Diego: fireworks smell bad but I won't do fart jokes if you want the colours Edie: if we find a motor that runs Edie: know there's one that the O'Dwyer lads left under that dodgy underpass Edie: but I say we got only so long 'fore that's completely fucked/burned out Edie: time's a wasting boyo Diego: Can be ready day after tomorrow if you are Edie: not a cult classic but how you rate it? jake's usually a fittie but he's pretty dorky in that Diego: the special effects were bomb for the era Diego: I can give you the same commercial success with my skills Edie: dope 💎 Edie: i'll storyboard lowkey for u but i'm happy for it to be mostly in the moment real shit Edie: u can use editing magic after if ur so inclined lil dude Diego: send me the song Diego: I'll get a feel Edie: hoe u best hop on my soundcloud rn Edie: gimme them listens Edie: EDieM as you clearly forgot 😤 Edie: newest track on there Diego: I remembered how to sign it, giving you that promo to my friends, but yeah Diego: confusion Diego: you're you're name sign to me Edie: 🙌 ayo, jokes aside about being a musician with a load of deaf fans Edie: always amping that bass up so should be feeling it literal Diego: capitalise Diego: nobody else is Diego: take the silent disco concept and make it fresh Edie: 💸💸💸 Edie: i'm into it Edie: fuck the mainstream, making music for the kids at places like ur school n mine n all the other's who a lil fucked up Diego: Put that into your storyboard Edie: 😏 Edie: mightbebreakingintomyschool Edie: itseasyandriskfreedoneitbefore Edie: hey, d'ya reckon we could get our hands on some hearing aids and shit Edie: not about to suggest we break into your school, more to nick=not worth it Diego: Old people's home? Edie: yassss Edie: shame our grandparents are young as shit and we love 'em enough not to do it to 'em Edie: i'll give 'em a free performance, they'd LOVE that Diego: ma has my baby stuff kept cos she loves me real deeply Diego: won't be enough but its a start Edie: 🙄 lowkey a hoarder Edie: imma make billie n her go round all the antique shops, keep an eye out for those real old school ear trumpets Edie: that'd be sick Diego: my teacher has one of those! ill ask if we can borrow it Diego: he loves showing it around Edie: 👏 i've got a vision so hard now Edie: u can ask if any of ur friends wanna be in it but we'll have to do that 'round here Edie: look like pied piper paedo taking too many of yous away on a jolly Edie: esp. with a 🎥 in tow Edie: lord help me Diego: I'll do seamless cuts Diego: there's a girl that NEEDS to be in it Edie: I see how it is Edie: ur REAL muse Edie: better not be too cute, stealing my shine Edie: i'm the ⭐ remember Diego: Understood Diego: She's a good singer if you do need backup Diego: [Sends her soundcloud] Edie: oooooookuuurrr lil mama Edie: i see u Edie: if she's down then we can make it happen sure Edie: get you your boo thang 😍 Diego: I'll ask Diego: don't out me Edie: gon' get all shy? Edie: use your director swag Edie: just don't get #metoo wid it, Tarantino, alright? Diego: She's shy Diego: and with that voice Edie: or playing it Edie: best be chill then lil one Diego: You think she's faking coy? Edie: meh, might be too young to know how Edie: but that's what girls do Diego: do you? Edie: i'm not telling u all my signature moves! Edie: depends Edie: lots of lads don't like it if a girl is funnier, more mouthy and opinionated than they are, if that's what you're after, then sure Edie: some boys want that at the start, so they can 'tame' you and have that on their ego, so you end up pretending later Edie: but you'll get it as you grow Diego: Everyone's thinking too hard Diego: I just like her, she's nice and funny and talented Edie: you sweet sweet child Edie: don't ever grow up k Edie: once u hit 10, 11, you'll be a right dickhead Edie: always happens, the girls usually a bit before 'cos we're always ahead of yous Diego: Are not! Diego: and I'll be sick when I'm older you mean Edie: are so! Edie: we'll see Edie: not in my experience but prove me wrong Diego: I'll be the first Diego: Be ready Edie: 😂 believe it when i see it Edie: guess Junie isn't so bad but that's 'cos he's gay Edie: its different Diego: He's not? Edie: oh yeah shh Edie: keep that under your hat Edie: deal with that one later Diego: more importantly Diego: half the school want to be in this Diego: they're telling me Edie: ✋ hahaha yes brotha Edie: can do so much more with a full cast Edie: i'll make sure its fun, even if they can't come for the illegal bits Edie: love these kids, so hype 😂 Diego: im loving the song Diego: Feeling it Edie: forreal? Edie: u can be brutal, my ego can take it 😉 Diego: don't need Diego: it's bomb Edie: knew u was my fave Edie: feel free to rub it in w the others Diego: They'll state me a liar Diego: but you're on to something with these beats and you need to be told Edie: i got ya back Edie: i'll start bein a real cunt to 'em sharpish, like Edie: no room for doubt lmao Edie: gotta when u gassin' me up so hard Diego: ulterior motives Diego: can I use some of the footage for school Diego: If it turns out it's one less essay Edie: 'course you can Edie: its probably not all gon' be sfw, don't need the 'rents saying i got u in shit as prev. mentioned, but the salvageable shots, go for your life Diego: I'll do extra editing don't want you in the same trouble Diego: I'm trying to film what we do much as the whole fam'll stand it Diego: personal project Edie: Fair 'nuff, fill your boots Edie: I ain't camera shy Edie: And Rio and Gracie can't pretend they are either Edie: always pouting looking like braindead fish 😂 Diego: Got a mountain of footage of them already Diego: Only been doing a few days sly Diego: I want Billie's vibe but I can't catch her Diego: Iggy same Edie: Shoulda known 😂 Edie: yeah good luck with the rest, either too busy for the fam or moody lil fuckers Edie: take ya pick Edie: self included usually obvs but you know, wanna do this music thing proper so Edie: got 🍀 kid Diego: arrgh Diego: facts Diego: I'll keep at it Diego: maybe I'll strike it with them Edie: get gus to round 'em up Edie: hard to say no to Diego: Now that's an idea Diego: Bound to work Edie: i'd pay for that energy Edie: i do 😂 Diego: hahahah Diego: put a price on it Edie: if i could bottle what he has i'd be laughing Edie: don't give a shit what nobody thinks man, what a cool kid Diego: his piss bottles itself some of the time Diego: you're there Edie: ya nastys Edie: secured a ride Edie: ur equip is welcome Edie: but i gotta go now, favour fo' favour Diego: I'm in too then Diego: don't do anything I wouldn't Edie: 👌 Edie: like i said, don't grow up Edie: need that childlike wonder for my vision Edie: catch you on the flipside mofo Diego: not in my plans Diego: enjoy yours

[alertarchitect]

It's always annoying when I talk to someone who isn't from the US, and they make a decent joke about the US, so I make a joke about their country in return as a fun little back-and-forth, and their immediate response is the whole "WeLl At LeAsT oUr ScHoOlS aReN't ShOoTiNg GaLlErIeS!!!" Like yes that is a horrific problem the US has but it's not a goddamn joke. If your response to us telling you "hey don't joke about these 2 horrible things because it isn't funny" is to either act like we're overly sensitive about it and/or to make jokes about them anyway, maybe you should go have some introspection about why you find horrific, institutionalized racism and/or the horrifying, preventable mass murder of children "funny," as well as why you're borrowing lines from our literal fascist right-wingers when you try to justify your disgusting "jokes."

This isn't to say you can't make jokes abiut the US! Make fun of our shitty transit systems, our "just add another highway lane" mentality, our grease-filled diets, our healthcare system, or our accent! Just leave the horrible shit out of it because not only is it just shitty, it's also just not a joke. School shootings are not props for jokes. Racism is not a prop for jokes. Stop using them like they are.

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time