#i don't like sharing 'negatives' opinions but I feel that this is important and should be pointed out

[crownedwille]

.

[tiffanylamps]

Fic writer interview

thank you for the tag, @katierosefun and @l-tyrell 💛💛💛

name/nicknames: bo is one of my r/l nicknames that I've had since I was born. It's actually a nickname of a nickname. It comes from my dad calling me bobo baggins and I hated it until about 5 years ago. I'm also called lamps (thanks to the wonderful @b1uetrees) by a few people here. Overall, I don't really mind what I'm called (as long as it's not tiffany as that can cause confusion due to the fact that it's an actual name, but not my name)

fandoms: beyond evil... what else?? lol 🤭 I used to write for other fandoms years ago but those works have long been deleted. I stopped writing/reading fanfiction altogether many years ago but then beyond evil came into my life and now lives rent-free in my brain

two shots?: Uhhhh yeah, I have an unsuccessful one 😂 My fic Your Love's Whore currently remains as an incomplete two-shot, due to the fact that I really don't like it and feel no desire to complete it (not going to tag it cause it's ew)

most popular multi-chapter fic: for sure it's Indoctrination, which comes as no surprise because it's the first fic I wrote for BE. So, it's had the most time to get traction. But also, it's the only multi-chapter fic I've completed 🙃

actual worst part of writing: having dyslexia and being perpetually insecure. I constantly get in my way, I'm my biggest critic and worst non-fan. I rarely like what I write and only tend to see the mistakes/negatives, instead of the positives. So.... me. I'm the worst part. Also, my concentration. I have so many abandoned wips/ideas because I lose interest in them far too quickly

how you choose your titles: The name of the Baptism trilogy (Indoctrination, By Desire, Martyrdom) was taken from religious jargon and the rest were either taken from song titles/lyrics, or from quotes/poetry/literature that I feel supports the themes of the story

do you outline?: yeah. Either I know point A and point B and let myself work out the journey one to the other as I write (my favourite way of working), or I write down loads of notes (before I forget them forever)... and there was that one time I wrote an 8K outline for a story I didn't end up writing 😩😂 Examples:

(Cay, I stole your trick of naming individual chapters with funny summaries. thank you xoxo 🤭🤭)

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: i have sooo many! I'm very good at coming up fic ideas but pretty terrible at actually writing them to completion. I'm going to ignore my current published wips and instead share 3 ideas I WISH I could write: my jwds workplace au (13 chapters of just the cutest flirting. I love it, I still hope to complete it one day) a jwkh fic that explores their relationships with a big dollop of Han Toxicity (and lots of feelings) (i love them so much) jw/ds/jy based on the song Girl Crush 👀 (it's a jwds love story, really... but with extra steps and a bunch of Repressed Sexualities... a "what if?" fic)

callouts @ me: 1) interaction is not the purpose of writing. you're writing for yourself, not for numbers 2) stop comparing yourself to others 3) give it time. you don't have to be productive constantly

best writing traits: oooooffff... Uhm, I would say that when I have a good grasp of a character's personality, I am able to paint a vivid picture of their emotions and motivations. I feel like I'm also good at creating a sweet spot (of sorts) between melancholy and happiness when exploring love (my love stories are often underlined with sadness and angst)

spicy tangential opinion: STOP GATEKEEPING CHARACTERS. you don't own them. they cannot be owned, so therefore, you don't get to dictate to other creatives how they should interpret that character. You're not any better because you see a character in one way and some people see them in another. It's fiction. It's meant to be fun. Stop making people uncomfortable with how they explore their passions just because it doesn't meet your standards. That's just- ugh. Stop. Plus, like, with all my love and sincerity... who the fuck are you? Y'know? We're all just some guy on a website sharing pixels and opinions, so... let's just have fun and give each other the space to feel welcome 💛

tag, you’re it (if you'd like to! no pressure!): @loisroo @ettelwenailinon @unrememberedskies

thanks for including me, this was fun! 💛

[screamsilas]

@ii-neg-confessions is really stupid

@ii-neg-confessions is kind of what it sounds like, a blog about inanimate insanity to spread hate and negativity and I feel like people shouldn't be so open to absorbing hate all the time

I wrote a better worded version on my phone but the drafts thing apparently doesn't work so take this kind of lazy one instead cause I don't really wanna spend any more of my time on this earth trashing an admin on a confessions blog who most should know is just a negative nancy hater who needs to get off they damn phone

time to "see through the bullshit" and "simply call out this bullshit" instead of "mindlessly consuming slop and following the herd"! /quoting their blog

also if you are gonna say "ohh don't give them them attention that's what they want" hold that thought cause this post isn't FOR them, its to educate ABOUT them and show people they're stupid. Its your choice if you wanna block them. Also, this is my space to criticize whatever I want, block whoever I want, etc. so I'm gonna post this rant here and let people act under their discretion.

anyways more under the cut

update on 12/09/24; rephrased/added context to some stuff in the Adam Katz segment.

update on 12/09/24; added a funny thing at the very end of the post.

update on 12/10/24; removed Adam Katz segment for correcting and editing.

[removed temporarily]

This is one of those things that when I read it I audibly said " are you fucking serious" cause truthfully I don't think they are being serious here.

To make fun of people that are POSITIVE? you actually must be absolutely MISERABLE to make a whole word to try and describe people who are positive in a negative light. I don't have much else to say here other than they must be genuinely sad with their life to do this.

small bomb break just to preface something

death threats (I'm gonna talk about that)

I'm not gonna go into their blog and criticize every word they have ever said, because I simply don't want to, but feel free to add onto this in the comments or re-blogs, cause I think its important to acknowledge this person and see them for who they are... and act accordingly of course.

anywayyy...

I've seen a lot of the OSC unanimously say that Mil has sent death threats to the II crew which I believe is true considering their overwhelmingly negative behavior and opinions towards most people who like ii/the crew themselves. I wanna of course start by saying that (as obvious as it should be) DEATH THREATS ARE NEVER OKAY! In some places in the world, even online they can be ILLEGAL!!! Its never okay to tell someone that you are gonna kill them, or that they should kill themselves, no matter how bad you think their YouTube show is, or how true you think your preconceived notions about peoples life or political stances are, death threats of any sort? NEVER OKAY! The fact that they went out of their way and spent that time (and most of their time) blatantly hating on this thing that was never about or for them is really disgusting.

I never will say that I don't think its okay to have negative opinions or state said opinions, but from what I can see from this entire blog, its more than that. Its more than sharing criticism, its spreading hate about something a lot of people hold dear to them for no other reason then the fact that you hold hate in your heart

Some more stuff I wanna say (in bullet point form!)

I'm pretty aware that Mil has some issues, whether that be relationship, familial... its none of my business. If she's reading this, just know there are people who can help, help is always available to you.

for a blog that's all for "seeing the truth" you really love to delete everything you don't agree with (even if its negative)

using art and not taking it down even after asked to is really rude, everyone should know that.. well except for Mil, who still has the post up

people calling everything that is appealing to the audience "fanservice" is so stupid is that the only word you know? do you only know how to use buzzer words to catch your audience instead of giving genuine points?

I was gonna say some more but I got distracted, and also I'm already sick of their shit so

okay bye bye!

p.s. ; a hefty handful of screenshots I didn't wanna write a whole paragraph saying they're shit to

this one is just sad to read like who hurt you

blatantly threatening a hack against AE's channel (also illegal)

shit like this makes me believe that this account is ragebait

more "posies" talk (makes me giggle)

looking pretty defensive to me (definitely a dream stan)

self indulgent insert but uh maybe its cause cobs is in the show hmm idk maybe though

death threats arent okay even if mil sent them to others (it will only repeat the cycle)

this is just funny to me, the ii crew has gone back and deleted scenes that aren't good, they have said they were young at the time and they are growing and changing people and apologized for what they did, what else do you want? do you want them to beg for forgiveness at your shoes?? you're fucking weird.

""digital footprint" isn't real" says a lot

what do you mean?? they're hating WITH YOU!!!! just because they can see good in the show doesn't mean they're corny! full post here

maybe because the songs are... musical inspired... maybe you just hate fun... (they literally say they do what am I talking about)

hating for no reason again (and ignoring everything anon said except for the thing that caught their eye; hatred)

okay I'm done, Mil is exhausting, @ii-neg-confessions is exhausting, I'm forever a "posie" I guess

if you read this far also... hi! thank you for reading all of this and educating yourself! remember that despite their hatred, there's still lots of love and care in this world and you deserve the most of it! please get some water and a snack, and have a wonderful day!! <3

okay that's my rant bye

p.s.

stop following me, mil

[emeryhiro]

Hello!

I am new here and is feeling very overwhelmed right now with that is happening in the caryl fandom. I appreciate your insight into these characters. I am someone who has not seen Daryl Dixon season 1 and is seriously considering if I should even watch it with all that is being said about s2.

Reading all the early reviews that has dropped - I get a lot of mixed reactions to Isabelle's character. Some ppl say she was the best part about season 1 while others don't even mention here in their reviews. The caryl fandom is largely, understandably, biased against her.

I do not know anything about Isabelle and was wondering what your thoughts about her are - how she holds up as a character?

Hi Anon!!

Thank you for your question. I'm really glad you asked this question, and thank you for the kind words🥰 I'm going to do my best to properly answer and share my thoughts on all the points you've mentioned.

Firstly, welcome to the fandom!! 💖 I'm sorry you've joined at a time of so much uncertainty, but I promise that at its core, this community is a beautiful place to be. But like all communities, there is always positivity and negativity, and it's important to be careful with what's surrounding you, ensuring it's a healthy balance that works for you.

I've divided my response into several sections, as I find that to be the best way to convey my thoughts. I also wanted to be as clear as possible since this is a sensitive topic for some, and I want to try to alleviate at least some of the worries.

A mild spoiler warning for a mention of something that happens in episode 1 of season 2.

Reviews on Season 2:

I wasn't planning on reading any of the reviews for season 2, but since you asked for my thoughts, I read all the articles that I could find so that I could give you an informed response. And one thing I advise is to always take reviews with a grain of salt (this includes my thoughts as well) because, ultimately, they're all based on the writers' opinions.

What I've found with all previous seasons of TWD, especially season 1 of Daryl Dixon, was that no single review I read aligned perfectly with what I thought of the show once I watched it myself. And I know I'll say the same about season 2.

Regarding what I read in the season 2 reviews, I don't think I've actually read a single concerning line in any of the ones I've come across, and I'm pretty sure I've read every single one that has been released. There are, however, a lot of people who, out of fear or concern, focus on single lines from a review that may sound negative or worrisome when taken out of context, and ignore everything else in the review that's purely positive.

I can see many people have shared their specific thoughts on different segments of several reviews, but I won't go into my thoughts here for the sake of keeping this response reasonable short. If you're interested in a detailed post about my thoughts on the reviews in general or any in particular, let me know, and I'll share it as soon as I get a chance.

My thoughts on Isabelle:

I found Isabelle to be a fascinating character with many layers. She is unquestionably flawed and has a great mix of both positive and negative characteristics, which I think is what gives her character so much potential. She's intelligent, driven, brave, headstrong, and very protective, but she's also undeniably manipulative, which makes sense when you think of it as a self-defence mechanism that she developed during her rocky life before the apocalypse. I'm also a fan of Clémence as an actress, and I think she's a great fit for this character.

This next bit might sound a bit contrevoursial but bare with me. I've seen Isabelle get a lot of hate for being manipulative towards Daryl, even I personally hated seeing Daryl be treated that way, but it's important to remember that we've also seen Carol behave manipulatively when she's had to in the past in order to protect the people that she loves. This is something you'll see Carol do once again in episode 1 of TBOC, and when I watched it, it made me uncomfortable, but ultimetly, I could see that it made Carol uncomfortable as well; she doesn't feel any satisfaction out of what she does and is willing to carry the weight of that lie and guilt to achieve her ultimate goal of saving Daryl, the person she loves.

Even though, on the surface, it's not an admirable thing to do, we appreciate Carol so much more because of the lengths she's willing to go to for the ones she loves, and we've also seen her journey to this point, which naturally makes us love her and empathise with her.

So my point here is that I can't judge Isabelle for the same behaviour I admire in my favourite character. Just like Carol may act that way to protect Daryl (her loved one), Isabelle was doing it because she believed (to the best of her knowledge) that it was what was best for Laurent (her loved one).

However, what doesn't sit right with me about Isabelle's character is that what the showrunners and writers have been saying about her doesn't align with what I've seen on screen (this is a great example of why I try to avoid looking at unnecessary publicity). I want to love her character for who she is, flaws and all, but the inconsistency in her publicity makes me feel like there's some discrepancy behind the scenes, and that has stopped me from investing in her character and gives me slight concern for the trajectory of her arc, which has so much potential that would be incredibly tragic if wasted.

The only other thing that I would disagree with (IF the show ends up going down that path) is the negative messaging that would be given out about nuns if every surviving nun on the show is portrayed as willing to forget her vows the minute there's a man in front of them that they find interesting. I'm not catholic, but I think that it would be incredibly disrespectful towards actual nuns and the sacrifices that they make for their faith. But please don't take this as fact because I don't think this will actually ever happen. I honestly don't believe that AMC or anyone involved with the show would knowingly do something like that. I'd be happy to explain this a little further, but I don't think it's relevant if you haven't seen the first seasons.

Watching TWD: Daryl Dixon S1 & 2

My question to you would be, what draws you to TWD/TBOC? Is it Caryl itself and potential canon? And if so, do you feel that you'd be left disappointed and/or unsatisfied with the potential lack of romance between the characters in season 2? Or, do you enjoy the show for a combination of things, like the character development, world-building, cinematography, etc.?

I want to emphasise that there is no wrong answer to the above. Everyone is unique, and it's 1000% understandable and fair for each person to have unique reasons for being drawn to and loving, hating, or even being indifferent about a show.

I personally fall in the latter category; I love TWD for its rich story, action sequences, cinematography, multitude of interesting characters, and the mind-blowing ways in which they have developed over the years (the whole package of the show is exactly my cup of tea), and of course, it's no secret if anyone looks at my blog that my favourite character (BY FAR) are Carol and Daryl. I absolutely adore them for everything they are, both as individuals and what they bring out in each other and mean to each other. And if Caryl is ever canon (which I expect would happen in season 3), then that would be the cherry on top of a show I already love.

My very short review of season 1 would be that I really enjoyed it and would rank it at the top between all the other spinoff seasons we've gotten so far. However, in all honesty, I still felt and noticed the hole that was left behind in the story with the absence of Carol, but knowing that she will be returning in season 2 kind of made up for that lack in season 1. All up, I really enjoyed season 1 and have watched it several times in the last year. I'm actually currently in the middle of watching it again in preparation for season 2.

My recommendations:

If you personally fall into the former category and, as mentioned above, feel that you'd be left disappointed and/or unsatisfied with the potential lack of romance between the characters in season 2, then perhaps it's better to wait till all the episodes are released to then decide if it's something that you'd like to watch.

If you're willing to accept and are okay with the potential lack of romance between Caryl in season 2 but are concerned about and would rather not watch any potential romantic relationship develop between Daryl and Isabelle, then I'd say that you should watch the season as it releases because I honestly don't believe that something like that is a real possibility. At most, there may be hints towards one-sided feelings from Isabelle's side and maybe some confusion from Daryl's side, but untimely, it would not mean or go anywhere. I'm personally not even bothered with this worst-case scenario because it doesn't matter how many people have feelings for Daryl or how confused Daryl is because I know that once he's reunited with Carol, there won't be any more uncertainty about where his heart and loyalties truly lie. There's honestly not a single ounce of me that's concerned about this.

If you're more like me and enjoy the show as a whole, even though you may be slightly disappointed with a few accepts, then I'd highly recommend that you watch season 1 before the release of season 2 (if you have the time), because it genuinely was a good season and will give you a lot of backstory and context that would make season 2 feel so much more enjoyable and immersive.

~~~~

Thanks again for your questions!! I hope this all makes sense and that it answers your questions. As I mentioned earlier, if you'd like me to expand on my thoughts on anything in particular, please let me know, and I'd be happy to do so.

My last bit of advice is this: I know it's easier said than done, but I urge you, especially as someone who's new to the fandom, to not allow a lot of different voices and opinions to shape how you naturally feel or invalidate what you take away from watching the show (not that I think that's what you're doing but this is the general advice I wanted to give just in case🩵). It's really easy for anyone to be influenced by negativity and positivity when they find that that's all they can see from the people around them.

I personally try to focus on what I see on screen and what I hear directly from Norman and Melissa because, at the end of the day, showrunners and writers come and go, but Norman and Melissa have embodied these characters from day one and understand them more than anyone else ever could.

♡♡♡

[lady-raziel]

Hi! I've read your document on The Strategy and it's really good! I think it's so cool that you've put all this research in and presented all the info so clearly!

I'm torn because I think the biggest thing I have to contribute to the discussion essentially boils down to a "the book was better" breakdown of the two versions of the story, and I want to stress that I don't hate the show or anyone who worked on it and I still want it to succeed.

But I'm REALLY passionate about all these thoughts I have about it. In your opinion, would it hurt The Plan if I was quite a bit negative in something I post about the show or does it still help because "any publicity counts" or whatever?

Thank you ovo

Hey! I'm so glad you liked the document! And my (long, big-picture) take is: I don't think you should be afraid at all to share your opinion on what you really thought of the show or if you believed the book (or for some people out there, the podcast) was a better experience. Any environment where people are made to feel like there is only ONE way to feel about a piece of media and that they can't express any differing opinion because there might be backlash (or criticism might harm the media's viability in some way) is not a healthy or productive one in my opinion.

If you have things you didn't like about the show's interpretation of the story or even anything else, I think it's IMPORTANT to say that! Echo chambers, even for things we like and want to succeed, are not going to help anyone in the long run. Unless there's the freedom and agency to be able to say, "yeah, I don't think this was great" or "this could have been better," and people don't feel pressure to always say "this thing was absolutely perfect and there were no flaws"... what starts to happen is that we lose the ability to be able to critically discern the GENUINELY good things from the merely satisfactory.

Like if fans of a band insist that EVERY ALBUM and EVERY SONG are all masterpieces, it starts to become a disservice since the actually better bits aren't able be recognized as genuinely being the best. If fans of a tv show insist that every episode is equally good, then the truly well-crafted ones can't stand on their own. It can be an understandable instinct for many fans not to want to criticize something you did really like or that comes from a creator you enjoy--after all, for some people that can feel like a self-criticism.

Or in the case of what you wrote this ask about-- there can also be discomfort in leveraging criticisms because it might feel that saying something has flaws or didn't really appeal to what you were hoping for can hurt that thing's ability to succeed (and cause some other fans to get up in arms because anything other than positive energy is taken as an attack). That can also lead to problems, since when it comes down to it, success doesn't always come because all the talk around it was only in approval. Plenty of objectively bad, controversial, or poorly crafted things do well all the time even when people say as much.

I wouldn't be afraid to speak your mind out of worries that you might be hindering "the Plan" or anything. Media rarely gets better and creators rarely have a chance to learn from their experiences if no one ever gives them honest feedback, good or bad. It's a healthy thing to do for making future projects better, helping fan communities from echo-chambering themselves, and there's always the off chance that criticism of something prompts someone to go check out the thing for themselves to see if they agree. People who did like the show's version might not like what you have to say, but I don't think you should let that stop you either.

That was a very long answer, but I hope it helps!

[silvermoon424]

I was born a guy, and I really don't think it's a good thing to blame men for the current dating/marriage rift or to join into polarization points over it, because, just in my opinion, it creates a negative trend. Like, I just want someone to share my pokemon and neopets with, and all the beautiful things and quiet moments, but I may never get there because of this message that dating, men, and marriage are bad. I platonically love you and all my soul sisters, Katy, so this is not an attack on you or your beliefs, but please think about the message before agreeing with it or reposting it.

I totally respect where you’re coming from anon, but I also think it’s very important to address and critique the way men (particularly cishet men) are brought up in our capitalistic, patriarchal society. Men are not inherently bad, not by a long shot; if they were, the patriarchy would not need to work so hard to reinforce itself and convince people that it’s “natural.”

I also think it’s important to address why women (particularly heterosexual women) are increasingly deciding to give up on dating/marriage/motherhood; a lot of it is because we have a choice to do other things now, yes, but I also think it’s because women have historically been given the shit end of the stick when it comes to those things compared to men (in fact, studies have shown that married women with children are more unhappy than single women, whereas single men fare worse than their married counterparts).

I’m trying to put this in a gentle way, but honestly it’s good that men (not talking or insinuating anything about you btw, just talking generally) feel uncomfortable when women bring up how patriarchy has hurt us and has caused us to abandon things like dating. It’s like when I, a white person, feel uncomfortable when POC bring up the ways white supremacy has hurt them and how white people perpetuate it. I SHOULD feel uncomfortable. But I should also do my best to work through my discomfort and try to empathize with POC; I should take note of ways I can make things more bearable for them. I expect men to do the same when they hear about women’s issues.

Again, I’m really not trying to be critical of you or say that your feelings are invalid! It’s just that misogyny has been a rot in basically every culture since the dawn of civilization and it’s not going to go away if we just ignore it. The rise of the manosphere has proven that misogyny is as strong as ever, and if men don’t want to be lonely they need to show us that they respect us as equals.

[blackbirdffxiv]

A lengthy ass-post about poly-shipping no one asked for

So I'm gonna go ahead and choose passive aggressive violence, in the form of an informative, lengthy as fuck post I think some folks need to read.

I won't be adding the post here, as I don't wish to direct potential harassment to the original poster (no matter how heinous I found a majority of the list), but if you're on twitter/"X", I'm sure you've seen a lengthy notepad list of RP "hot takes".

While I agreed with some of the points made, I feel it necessary to clarify some things, particularly about the points regarding polyamorous shipping.

If you don't want to read the blurb between here and the actual point list, just scroll down until you see green font.

Most know that I myself play a polyamorous character; I ship my character with other characters belonging to different players. I've been poly-ship for YEARS, so I feel I have some experience and can say some things about it.

Some points made in the "hot takes" list alluded to people using polyamorous shipping/multi-shipping as an excuse to just ERP and mess around with multiple people without consequence.

Sadly, yes, this does happen. It's unfortunate that selfish people only looking for specific things use it as an excuse for their behavior, but the only thing people can do is be aware of what to look out for when it comes to polyamorous shipping.

So rather than allow a negative light be painted on a valid means of shipping and roleplaying your characters in relationships, I think a quick lesson is needed.

Disclaimer: these are just my personal opinion on how I feel polyships should be handled, and some red flags I have seen during my time being a polyamorous OC player. By no means is this a rulebook, more like a guide so new and veteran roleplayers alike can be aware.

What a responsible poly-shipper will do:

Introduce you to their other partners - Communication is key in any relationship, this is not just for monogomous ships, but even moreso for polyamorous. A poly OC player will be open to introducing you to their other partners; while no one expects you to be best friends, it's good to be aware of just who else you'll possibly be regularly seeing around.

Share time and effort among your partners equally - A polycule relationship should be even across the board; one partner should not be treated better than the other. Treating one or more partners better than the other(s) is just a recipe for people getting hurt, both IC and OOC.

Be open and up front at the very beginning of IC interactions - A poly OC player will be up front and honest about the nature of their character if they have an interest in possibly shipping with you, or in case the possibility of it happening is there.

Encourage communication and prioritize problem-solving - This isn't just for poly ships, but ships in general. A good writing partner will encourage and WANT you to tell them about how you feel with the ship, especially if it's a problem with an easy solution.

Always make it known if they wish to bring another partner into the polycule & pose an introduction OOC - This is the most important part of being in a poly ship, making sure EVERYONE knows if there is someone new who will be joining the ship, and making introductions before a ship is made.

What a responsible poly ship player wouldn't/shouldn't do:

Hide the status of their ships - If your partner is hiding who they are shipping with from you, in my experience, this just means a person is going behind their partner's back (and is possibly cheating on them).

Brush off any possible issues you may be having with one of the partners in the ship - A responsible partner would aim to mediate the situation, and listen to all sides.

Discourage their poly partners from seeking other partners - Not every poly OC is monogomous with their poly partner, sometimes one poly OC will be shipped with another poly OC. Your partner would not expect you to drop your other ships to be with them while they continue their own, they should respect your decision to ship with your other partners.

Keep attempts to ship with other characters a secret - A responsible poly partner will make it known when they are attempting to or want to ship their OC with another as soon as intentions and wants are known. Not after a ship is already established.

Discourage those in the polycule ship from associating with each other - A partner in a healthy polycule would never discourage their partners from associating with each other; intentional separation more than likely is a means of hiding something, such as blatant favoritism, or even to keep ships a secret (in my experience).

Anyways I'll get off my soap box. I apologize for the lengthy post, but some things I've been seeing regarding this hot takes list were so blatantly heinous, I just felt like something should be said.

Have a good evening y'all; hug your pets, tell your friends you love them, and don't let jaded people online project their problems onto you.

Stay golden

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

you're trans, right? how did you come out to your parents? how did it go? how would you recommend someone go about doing it if they aren't sure how their parents are going to react? (positive to other people's kids being trans, dislike trans women in sports, generally vote democratic). i'm ftm.

sorry if this is too personal or already been answered or something

-- aar

Lee says:

As a matter of fact, I am indeed trans! I specifically identify as genderqueer, non-binary, transmasculine, transgender, and transsexual, although that's neither here nor there.

I actually didn't come out to my parents-- I came out to my friends, and then more publicly to my classmates at school. Then one of my classmates told her parents about me being trans, and that parent met my parents at a party and mentioned that I was trans. Unfortunately it just so happened that while they were at the party and out of the house, I took the opportunity to cut my hair short at home. Yikes!

Anyway, I would fully recommend actually coming out over being outed, if you have the choice, because then you have some control over the start of the conversation and can initially let them know whatever you want them to know.

As always, safety comes first. Do not come out if you do not think you will be safe. If there's any risk of harm or severe negative consequences, you should wait to come out until you're in a more secure position, like being 18 or older, financially independent, not living at home, or at the very least, having a support system in place like a trusted therapist who can help you deal with the repercussions of coming out.

There's a difference between being genuinely unsafe and feeling uncomfortable. Most people will feel their fight-or-flight anxiety response kick in when they have a really scary and stressful conversation, especially when they're talking with someone who means a lot to them and has a lot of authority in their life. But being anxious about their reaction might make something feel unsafe, emotionally, even if you logically know that you are safe and they will not kick you out, abuse you, etc.

That doesn't mean that your feelings aren't real feelings though. If you think that you would not be able to cope if your parents don't immediately and fully accept and support you, then maybe it isn't the right time to come out either. Your emotional well being is important, and if you would be unsafe as a result of mental illness/extreme distress after coming out (if your parent's reaction isn't what you had hoped it would be) then you should consider that to be just as important as if you were physically in danger from an external source. After you've had some time and therapy and got re-stabilized then you can reconsider coming out.

Let's say that you've decided to proceed with coming out. The next step is to continue to gauge their attitudes. You've already observed some of their views. This can be a good starting point to understand how they might react. Remember, though, that parents' reactions to their own child can sometimes be different from their general opinions. So they might be fine with your trans friends, but not be fine with you being trans yourself.

You can't fully predict what will happen, but making sure you have a sense of what they currently think might help a little-- if the topic hasn't come up in over a year and you're working off of what you remember them saying far in the past, it's possible their views have changed by now.

But either way, you'll never really know what will happen after you come out, so if you want to do it, you just gotta go for it.

Now it's time to prepare. You may want to have resources ready for your parents, so looking to find those resources should be your next step. Are there local support groups for parents of trans kids and do you know of any peers whose parents have attended? They might have questions or misconceptions about being a trans man, so be ready to share some basic 101 information with them and don't assume they understand what it really means to be trans. Websites, books, or even contact information for a knowledgeable counselor can be helpful.

Think about what you want to say beforehand. What's the point of coming out? Do you want something to change, like having them call you a different name, use different pronouns, buy you different clothes? Do you want them to understand the nuances of your identity and know the right terms and words to use and what terms and words are offensive? Think about all of your goals, and then write down the key points you want to get down.

This is the time to consider your answers to the questions they might ask you, like "how long have you felt this way," "do you plan on medically transitioning," "what does this mean for your sexual orientation," etc. Even if you don't know all the answers yet and are still figuring yourself out, you want to have an idea of what you'll tell them, even if it's just "I don't know yet, I'm still figuring it out".

I'm personally not a fan of gimmicky/"cute" ways of coming out when you aren't sure whether your family will be accepting. So I would recommend just using a letter to initially come out if you're worried about getting overwhelmed or forgetting important details, and being prepared to follow that up by having a sit-down conversation.

Have a support system in place. This could be friends, other family members, teachers, counselors, or online communities who understand and support your identity. I always recommend scheduling an event with friends either for directly after you come out so you have an excuse to leave the conversation and go, or at least for the next day so you can decompress and discuss it with people who support you.

When you're as ready as you can be, choose the right moment. Find a time when your parents are likely to be calm and not preoccupied with other stressors (so not on their birthday, a major holiday, etc) and either leave the letter for them or ask them if they are available to have an important conversation.

This might not always be possible, but a peaceful environment can facilitate a better conversation. Choose a time and place where you feel safe and where you won't be interrupted. This could be at home during a quiet weekend afternoon, an evening after dinner, or during a walk together, depending on your family dynamics.

Finally, it's time to have the conversation. You should be clear and direct. Tell them "I'm transgender and that means I feel I am a man," or whatever language you feel comfortable with. Don't hint at it because they might not know what you're trying to tell them, just tell them exactly what you want to say.

It’s okay to admit if you don’t have all the answers yet. Transitioning is a journey, and it's fine to be figuring things out as you go.

But if that isn't the case for you, and you are sure, then you should be ready to stand up for yourself and tell them that. They might react positively, negatively, or be unsure, but their feelings are not your fault/your responsibility because you're living true to yourself. It's okay if they need time to process the information, but don't back down and let them railroad you into saying that you're not sure or didn't mean it if you are sure and do mean it.

Finally, be prepared for the long haul. Understand that your parents might need time to fully grasp and accept your identity. Patience can be challenging but is often necessary since it can take several months to years before they come around and truly support you. That means that one conversation is usually not enough. Be open to ongoing discussions and expect them to be sometimes awkward.

We have a coming out page with more info, although some of the links are old and broke (I promise I'll get to fixing it some day!)

Followers, any advice for anon?

[fromkyahseyes]

What I’ve learned & wish I knew before entering my 20’s.

Never mix these four (4) things or discuss them with each other.

Family

Never discuss family matters outside of the family. We don’t get to choose the family we are born into, and every family faces its own challenges. Many of us choose a different path from the generational cycles within our family, but we are still connected to them by blood, as they reflect who we are. Throughout life, we encounter various events that may affect our personal lives. It is crucial to keep the details of family matters to ourselves. I understand that at times, you may feel pressured and think it's okay to confide in friends, colleagues, or your partner, without realizing the potential harm this may cause in the long run. Seeking comfort from your loved ones when you lose a family member, or when your family is going through a tough time, is okay. However, it's important to differentiate between matters that are best kept within the family.

Friends

Never discuss your friends outside of your friendships. Some friends are with you for a lifetime, while others are only around for a season. Regardless, you shouldn't speak negatively about them to others. Whether they are troubled or not, if the friendship is not healthy, it's best to let it go. You don't need to criticize them. How you talk about others reflects more on you as a person than it does on them. Often, friendships fail because of disagreements. For example, someone might share personal information, and if the other person doesn't like the opinion given, the friendship suffers. Alternatively, the relationship might lack depth, where you rely on your friends only for advice or in times of trouble. Your friends aren't a replacement for a therapist.

Relationship

Never discuss your relationship with anyone except the individuals involved. Whether it's good or bad, it's generally not a good idea to talk about your partner with anyone other than your partner. You might think it's harmless to share cute things, but it's essential to be aware that every relationship is unique, and others may not have what yours has. Even your closest friends may become envious. Friends, family, and colleagues can often influence you to take actions in your relationship that might not be beneficial. If things are going well, keep a journal and have conversations with your partner. If things are difficult, consider couples counseling or seek advice from trustworthy, experienced couples who have been through similar situations.

Work

Never discuss your work-life outside of work. You may have heard the saying, “Never take the stress from work home” and vice versa, and it's true. What happens at work should stay at work, and what happens at home should stay at home. Keeping these two aspects of your life separate is essential because the stress from one can negatively impact the other. Money also plays a role in this. You don't want your loved ones affecting your work attitude, especially when you need to focus on earning a living or because you enjoy what you do. It's okay to express if you've had a stressful day or not, but that's about it for me.

Your life is about YOU. Yes, these things are a part of your life, but allow them the space to merely observe and experience you. Talk about your interests and hobbies, not your drama and personal information. I understand that things can be tough, and if you truly need to discuss them, I recommend journaling or consulting a therapist. In the past, I didn't realize that intertwining these four things was detrimental to my relationships rather than beneficial.

I hope these tips helps :)

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi there! I am a recent follower of yours. So I have a question. I have grown up in a very dysfunctional household. My mother is a saint, but I can't say the same about my father. I don't want to spread anything negative here. My mother's colleague is a good friend of mine. My "daddy issues" got so extreme that I would say to him I wish he could be my father. He's married by the way, but it's not a happy one. Oh and he deliberately tries to convince himself otherwise. He tells me that he regards me no less than his own child. But you know how it feels ...he wants to come to us (mum and I). But cannot. He couldn't muster enough courage. What do you think I should treat this man ? He can't leave his own family, and he doesn't wish to leave us because he does truly love us. Nobody in his family, respects or loves him the way we do. He's afraid of the society. Please tell me your opinion on this.

Thanks for sharing your situation 💗 It sounds like you’re navigating a lot of complicated feelings.

First, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel conflicted. The relationship you have with this man seems to hold a lot of weight for you & it’s clear he cares deeply about you and your mother. However, it also seems like he’s in a position where he can’t fully be the person he wants to be due to his own circumstances… choices… decisions.

I know feeling loved is important, but there are alot of other factors equally as important and probably even more to sustain that help sustain that love.

You deserve healthy, respectful relationships and while it’s natural to seek affection, it’s important to protect your emotional well being. Acknowledge the care he offers but also maintain some distance to avoid relying on a relationship that may not fully meet your needs. These situations are sticky and they make life more complicated, but we always have choices and it is unfair for you to settle for less.

In terms of how you should treat him, I would suggest acknowledging the affection and care he gives you but also maintaining a sense of emotional distance to avoid putting too much weight on a relationship that might not fully meet your needs. It may be helpful to think about what you need from this relationship and if it’s possible to find those needs met in other more balanced connections.

Ultimately, you deserve to have love and respect in all the relationships in your life. You can have it all, make sure you’re not neglecting one area and compensating with another.

[purpdrawsthings]

Never gonna give you up~

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊𖥸

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚✩ ⋆｡˚ ✩ ➳

┊ ┊ ┊ ✫ ➳

┊ ┊ ☪⋆ 𖥸

┊ ⊹ ➳

✯

Creative Control - SMG4

00:52 ━━━━●───── 01:56

⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻

ılıılıılıılıılıılı

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

______________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________

INTRODUCTION

Before we get started, I'd like to address some important before we get in the thing =3

WHAT I DO NOT ALLOW

Asks for donations

Yes I have answered some asks regarding this, but I seriously cannot donate.

I do feel sorry, I genuinely do. But, I should be honest that I can't donate, therefore, I ask for people to not spam my ask box with donations

NSFW

Obviously huge no-no sign for me. I want this place to be as clean possible.

Any mentions of controversies, etc

Keep this place happy for all of those stuff. I'll only talk of it if it's terrible, but I'd like to keep this place not walking with negativity.

I'd prefer to be quiet about it.

Okieeee that's about all =3 let's get along with the thing~

Hello hello! Welcome to my introduction post =]

It has seem that you have stumbled across my profile! Good job, =D

I'll get on with the intro, my name is Purp! Call me Purp! Don't try and confuse me with my oc called Purp hehe-

I am a Muslim that currently lives in a hot ass place called Malaysia 🇲🇾

My fav color is Purple is you can't tell 👁👄👁

I am artist, animator and overall, just a chill person who wants to make content that people would enjoy =3

I sometimes draw lore, and also stuff with blood! But not that often =]

Here's my sona ^^

I will mostly do SMG4 content but I'll try do other content for fandoms I'm also in!

Such as...

Among Us

Murder Drones

The Amazing Digital Circus

And etc =D

I have also written a couple of stories, like my book in Wattpad called "Purp's backstory"

Do go check it out! It delves into the story of my oc Purp's traumatizing past... That's fun =]

I have created a couple of aus such as...

The Seven Gods AU [ Among Us ]

The Unknown AU [ Among Us ]

Lost AU [ SMG4 ]

Brainwashed AU [ SMG4 ]

Circus Showman AU [ SMG4 ]

The Brainwashed AU is probably the most known here!

I tend to be on the neutral side of things like stating my opinions and mostly staying away from controversial topics.

I love drawing my fav artists! You can see them in follow section =]

Please do not share anything negative here! I want it all to be good.

Please do not speak anything negative about my own opinions, I am extremely sensitive and I get overwhelmed easily.

I have school! So I will not be as active from Monday to Friday.

I will go absolutely BONKERS if someone makes fanart. Please do please do please- /jk

OCS that belong to me will sometimes have a hashtag for themselves! Here's some.

Purp : #Purp's Purp

GSP : #SMG4 GSP

Here's are my socials! If you see a version of me, or any form of copy on any other social media, that ain't me.

Twitter : @Purp_IsSus

YouTube : @PurpIsSus

Amino : @PurpIsSus

Reddit : u/Purp_1456

Wattpad : @PurpIsSus

I do have Discord but thats private =]

I have a couple of tags that you can explore for specific stuff =3

For brainwashed au content, it's this hashtag =]

#SMG4BrainwashedAU

For asks specifically at the au, it's this one =3

#SMG4BrainwashedAUasks

For all asks that I've answered, look at this hashtag kayyyyyyy?

#Purps silly questions =]

For characters that are related to the au/have been featured/shown, this is the hashtag

#Brainwashedau!smg4

#Brainwashedau!smg3

#Brainwashedau!MrPuzzles

Anddddddddddddd that's about it for now. If you want to ask any questions, feel free to go and ask me on my ask box =D

And with that, I'm out =3

While you're on that, have some art heheheheheheheheheheheh

[enemywasp]

Hello, I am an anti but I'd like to share an opinion with you. Most other antis say that over exposure to problematic media makes others (minors) 'okay' with said media IRL. But they also expose themselves to said content as well while also usually being minors yet still carry their own moral beliefs. I find that hypocritical and it's a strange idea in general to believe that viewing labeled, warned, and hidden media as some kind of propaganda. I don't like proshippers but the anti community is mostly just pulling gut feelings to morally judge peoples right to live. Also most antis are around 14 and under. They should still be developing their own perspectives and beliefs rather than making everyone have theirs.

Minors inserting themselves in discussions about nsfw content and "problematic" media is probably the bigger issue here as whilst not all content is strictly 18+, a lot of these topics aren't designed or intended for 14 year olds who frankly don't know what they're talking about.

The idea that over exposure to this content causes normalisation and issues is mostly them parroting off what other antis have said. And unfortunately I imagine they have found any curiosity or taboo thought they've ever had as something evil and that much be squashed.

Kids in anti spaces are actually way more concerning to me as they're getting raised in spaces that encourage the policing of one's own thoughts and the idea that your imagination and thoughts (intrusive or not) are just as bad as committing actual crimes when really it is completely natural to think bad thoughts or be curious about immoral topics. It's better to explore these things through fiction and the mind then anywhere else! And it's important to note that if your thoughts are distressing you, you're not a monster and should talk to someone! Not bottle it up cause you think it makes you a bad person.

So yeah, I do think growing and developing your own opinions is so important before parroting off random stuff.

Over exposure can be an issue in any context. It's unhealthy to engage in anything too much, depending on whether it effects your ability to live normally or think clearly. But dark fiction itself should not warp anyones minds, and certainly not anyone old enough to be on social media sites.

Antis constantly feeling the need to police these things and get in debates and seek out this content just to hate?? Now that's unhealthy, trapping yourself in a negative atmosphere like that.

[alice-the-demon]

I want to share it here because I'm not seeing anyone talking about this injustice on Tumblr.

Idk what the hell happened between Elon Shit-Musk and the Brazilian government, but prohibiting the civilians in there to access popular social networks and socialise with other people around the world is just so absurdly unfair.

And here you might say "Oh, don't exaggerate so much, they still have Instagram, Tumblr, etc" but that's not the main problem for me. There are people and influencers who made their account there since the day Twitter was created. People who over the years built an audience, whether they did blogs, shared their opinions and masterpieces or just liked to talk and comment under their friends'posts. And I'm certain that a good portion of these people are Brazilian.

I'm not Brazilian myself though, I'm from the pizza-making boot-shaped peninsula also known as Italy, and fortunately the Italian government did not decide to decapitate Twitter here too. Not yet at least. I hope.

So why am I complaining about something that doesn't even involve my people?

Well... I just feel so sorry for the Brazilians. I believe that everyone deserves the freedom of speech, no matter how right or awfully wrong they are. Yes, there are people who can be really annoying or, hell, can have some extremely controversial opinions, but I think that people often forget that the more importance and vocal we become about the person we don't like the more powerful they become.

I know that sometimes being vocal about something wrong can be useful, it can unite people to fight injustices and change things for the better, but at the same time there will be annoying people, like Elon Fuck-Musk, who will use this attention to their advantage and eventually gather people who will be on their side.

So what do you do in this case? You ignore them. You stop giving importance to what that idiot is saying and move on with your life. And when people will realise that this idiot's opinions are not getting traction and attention, they will stop giving importance to it too. And when that idiot will realise that no one is listening to them, maybe they'll realise that what they've been saying is stupid.

Not saying that it'll certainly work with people with bigger followings, there will always be people that are stupid enough to lick Elon or Trump's feet no matter what, but as long you stop giving importance to their followers at least you'll have your mind clearer from negativity.

My point being, I don't think that any governments should ban any social media from their states, it's like prohibiting your child from going to their favourite park just because it has a broken bench. One rotten flower doesn't ruin a whole garden, idk if it makes sense.

Phew... That's pretty much all I had to say about this situation. I got very sad because the Twitter account of my friend @panhbr (a wonderful person and amazing artist btw you should follow him) is about to be obliterated at any moment and I wanted to use this opportunity to talk about the importance of freedom speech. I don't think I'll talk about political stuff again (mostly because I don't know much about politics in general and I don't want to be attacked by people who are "fans" of it) but it is pretty liberatory to vent about stuff like this.

Edit: So uh... Some people from Brazil corrected me and said that it's not a freedom of speech problem, it's just Elon that did a bullshit move as always. Of course. I hate that man so much. But I think that what I said about not giving importance to stupid people is important, so I'm keeping the post up. Thanks to the Brazilian folks who corrected me 👍🏻🇧🇷

[noxinkwell]

Let's Talk About: The Bizarre Relationship Between Readers and Writers/Authors and Book Reviews/Fanfiction Comments

So this is gonna be a rambly one and I'll put a TL;DR somewhere, I promise, but I've been on BookTok and I wanna talk about the weird relationship between authors/writers (published and non published) and readers. Let's create a discourse on the types of conversation we see online about books/literature and fanfiction. TL;DR: A book is not bad because you hate it. A character is not bad or poorly written because you hate it. And it is so freaking important to remember to think about what authors are intending to do with their writing before you make very strong claims about it. Writing is such a personal experience because of most of us (if not all of us) write from a personal place in our hearts. Getting negative feedback is not at all helpful from randoms on the internet so maybe don't share it where the author can easily see it (i.e. don't tag them, don't comment on their fanfictions).

Disclaimer:

We are all entitled to share our opinions.

The BUT to that is: We are entitled to share out opinions kindly, respectfully, and we should keep in mind keep the thoughts of those who are on the receiving end of those opinions.

Initially, I thought it was a cognitive dissonance but I'm not sure the definition quite matches up. But maybe it does, so let's go with it.

If anyone is curious though:

Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behavior and beliefs do not complement each other or when they hold two contradictory beliefs. 

Typical examples:

"I want to get healthy, but I'm not going to make the changes to do it."

"I could have done more work, but I watched TV."

"I really want to help the planet, but I'm not going to recycle."

To me, it occurs with readers like this: "I want to help make the writer better by giving some random concrit/constructive criticism to an author when I have zero idea on what their intentions are as a writer."

Or: "I'm going to leave a negative review for a book and it will impact other people to read the book or make the author change how they write."

I am mostly talking about this as a fanfiction writer and someone who reads more published writing than I do fanfiction (these days).

My first thing is: Goodreads. Or just comments/reviews in general on fanfiction and other literature/books.

Some of the Goodreads reviews are. fucking. bizarre. And by bizarre I mean, they are so aggressive. And they bring zero productive conversation to books. They're just inflammatory. They're not at all constructive and quite frankly, they're not helpful for readers either.

And let me just say, that is entirely fine. Y'know, I think book reviews are for READERS and not the WRITER/AUTHOR, but still... I'm not even sure what I gain as a reader reading this type of review:

*yawn* I'm really sad I wasted my time on this romance that was completely overhyped, in my opinion.

or

at any given time, i feel like i'm reading romance as a cry for help.

And when I see these types of reviews, I feel like people fail to remember this very simple thing: Not. all. books. are. made. for. you.

Not. all. fanfiction. is. made. for. you.

You. are. not. always. the. target. audience.

So why do you read it? Stop reading it—especially if you can't share that opinion in a kind way. It's not productive.

When I get feedback on my writing (as a fanfiction writer) I will always, always, always ask for specific feedback. Is this line okay? Are my characters coming across in this way? Is the pacing okay? Does this make sense? How's my SPaG? How's my prose as a whole? Am I varying my sentence structure enough? Is my character development going okay?

And sometimes, with my most trusted writing friends I will say: "Hey, give me whatever feedback you think I should hear. Give me what you feel is going to help strengthen my writing."

Because YES—in my opinion, some parts of writing is purely objectively good or bad.

So when I see reviews or comments about someone saying a character is objectively annoying or that they don't relate to them I get sad. When I see that someone says a book is bad because of xyz reason... I sometimes want to shake them because it's just not how that works.

A book is not bad just because you hate it. A character is not bad because you inherently dislike her/him/them.

A fanfiction is not bad because a character did not do something you didn't like. A fanfiction is ALSO not bad if the character was out of character from canon and you didn't like the choices they made (this one irks me the most as a beta reader and a writer).

Why am I saying all this?

Because sometimes, readers forget what the author or the writer is intending to do with their writing. Sometimes the writer intentionally makes the characters annoying. Sometimes the writer intentionally adds angst and hurt and pain and jealousy. Sometimes the writer intentionally adds TOXIC traits to a character because they thought it would be fun or because it serves the moral they're attempting to tell. Sometimes they're toxic because it's DRIVES THE PLOT.

If a character cheats or kills someone it does not at all mean 1.) the author is condoning it and 2.) it doesn't mean the character is a bad character or a poorly written character either.

It just means it didn't resonate with you.

So I want to ask you all: Do you ask yourself why you dislike something before you decide 'yes, I hate it'? Do you think about what the writers intentions are when you're reading? And hey, perhaps, this type of reading may take the fun out of it for you. And I get that. What I don't get though, is disparaging authors and writers who are trying to make a living or trying to write for fun because you feel the need to give criticism on something that you actually may not know enough about.

To top it all off, we don’t know the authors. We don’t know the writers. So an author/writing receiving “advice” or “constructive criticism” from a random “schmuck” in their writing is just not gonna over well. Writers take a lot of time practicing their craft. While we’re all entitled to an opinion, it doesn’t always need to be shared in the face of the creator. I say this kindly, sometimes, you’re reading a fanfiction or a novel and you don’t like it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you know why and it doesn’t mean that your opinion on it aligns with the goal of the person telling the story.

Constructive criticism is a WHOLE other post probably, but I'll just say this here: If you don't know how to give it, then don't give it. If they didn't ask for it then DEFINITELY don't give it. If you REALLY have to give it, think about what you’re saying before you say it. And if someone is upset with you giving concrit and they never asked for it, maybe look within and ask why you felt this was helpful for the person on the receiving end of that concrit.

Also, if you're gonna post something negative: Do not tag the author. And if you're gonna comment negatively: Don't post it on the fanfiction either.

Why? Because reviews are. for. readers. You saying that you didn't like something on a fanfiction does not do anything for the writer except discourages them. Fanfiction writing =/= Published writing.

If the author wants it, they'll ask. (And I will post something this later). Did you make it this far? If you did, damn. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Authors and writers are humans. We write from a personal place in our hearts. Sometimes we write about the things in our lives that hurt us the most. Sometimes we write about other extremely personal experiences. So getting feedback on it is scary and forcing negative feedback for them to see is not kind. Writing takes hours, days, weeks, months, and even years to do. Reading takes...a fraction of that. So before you go and destroy someone’s work with your words online, maybe think about it first.

I, too, am an avid reader and sometimes we just want validation for our opinions (good or bad). But sometimes it's important to remember how we share them.

[wellofdean]

Re: Dean, the MoC, Amara & Mary

Post 3 of ? (post 1, post 2)

Right. So Amara brings Mary back as a thank-you gift to Dean, which she says, is the thing he needs most, in the same way she needed to mend fences with her megalomaniac brother.

Hm. A lot to unpack there.

Again, (as with Amara) my initial reaction to this development was not love. Instead I was like… Pardon me?? Dean is a full-grown man who has been living without his mother for a long-ass time?? Does Dean NEED his mama at this point? I think a lot of us felt this way? No? And if Amara knows what Dean really needs (and I think the text is telling us that she does, at least in some way, love it or hate it), then how so, and WHY? I also immediately thought there had to be a catch, because Amara really didn't seem the type to give nice comfy presents that don't bite you in the ass somehow. Mary's return was obviously going to be a COMPLICATED, and somehow double-edged sword that would give our man Dean MORE WORK TO DO. Deep sigh.

Both the gift and the giver told us that pretty clearly.

BUT, leaving aside Mary for a moment, there are some important points all this is based on that I want to mention, and I think some background on Jung, Campbell, and why I think this approach to thinking about Supernatural is interesting and relevant, and etc., and to start with, I should say that personally, From a meta perspective, I am a lot more interested in analyzing what the text DID do, than I am in thinking about what it should, in my opinion, have done, or what it did not do. That's just me. I am interested in why this particular work of art has the power it does, and that is what motivates me to think about it. That, and THE ROMANCE. YMMV, and your reasons for being interested in it may vary, and that is fine. I love u. Enjoy!

Kripke explicitly cites Joseph Campbell's "hero's journey" as a source structure for Supernatural. I’ve said more about that here. and here. Campbell's work of taking an anthropological and phenomenological  approach to narrative is an outgrowth of Jungian thought. Jung is tough, dense reading, and Campbell is a bit like... Jung 'lite' in a lot of ways. He does a nice job of making it digestible, but that means it is also vastly simplified. With that said, it is not at all a stretch to think that Hollywood writers and people like Kripke who studied narrative in school are well aware of where Campbell's ideas originated; there is a direct path from Campbell to Jung, and Jung is MUCH more interesting and his work opens up so many more interesting avenues, narratively speaking.

A little about Jung: he was a contemporary and student of Freud's who broke with Freud after an intense 5-year cooperation because he thought Freud's theory of the unconscious as merely the site of repressed desires, urges and unspeakable shames was oversexed, incomplete and unnecessarily negative. Here they are together:

Jung was deeply immersed in the study of narrative, symbology and the way human beings conceived of themselves, and his theories stem from thinking about his patient's psychological conundrums in light of what he came to call Archetypes (a primitive mental image inherited from the earliest human ancestors) which resided in what he posited as a Collective Unconscious shared by all of humanity. His evidence? STORIES. Myth, folklore, alchemical writings, dreams, etc,)

Jung himself comes in for a lot of justified skepticism from a feminist and queer perspective. Jung lived from 1875–1961. He wrote about topics as varied as 16th century alchemical texts, which he saw as allegories of psychological processes, to UFOs. In some ways, however, he was a man of his time, and his writing can feel sexist, heterosexist and gender essentialist. That said, his thought was expansive and not, in itself, limiting on these topics, and I like to think Jung himself would have expanded them had he lived to see our times. Claudette Kulkarni, who is a lesbian and a Jungian analyst, puts it like this:

“In spite of the sexism, heterosexism, and racism that invade Carl Jung’s theorizing, I am a Jungian—or, more accurately, a post-Jungian—and a feminist. The challenge for me as a lesbian Jungian has been not to defend, reinterpret, contort, or reformulate Jung and his theories — but, rather, to use Jung, often against himself, in ways that seem 'truly Jungian' and thus, hopefully, to follow through on the 'subversive possibility' that Jung opens up when we take him 'beyond' himself.”

Supernatural is a pretty magnificent example of the kind of narrative Jung might be interested in, its sometimes ham-handed use of his ideas notwithstanding. It’s folkloric and epic in that it deals with deep human questions in an exploratory way. For as much as it presents itself as just a silly genre romp, it’s also aware of itself and manages to be, taken as a whole, somehow more than the sum of its parts. In saying that I think Supernatural’s storytelling in the later seasons is explicitly inspired by Jungian thought, I don’t mean that it’s a dot-to-dot, or that that’s the only valid way to approach it. However, I do think that Supernatural is a text that explicitly plays with Jungian ideas taken beyond themselves, and that is a big part of why I, personally, love it so much. If Jung is right about the significance of stories and the idea of a Collective Unconscious, I think it’s a big part of what gives Supernatural its power over so many of us for so long.

Jung’s key theory is that of the psychological process of Individuation. He posited that we come into the world with the kernel of a personality/identity that develops/individuates over a person’s whole lifetime, and that this is the never-ending process of becoming a self. The process is motivated by INNER NECESSITY and it is driven by the continual tension between the ego-identity or persona, and the contents of the unconscious, which includes not only our personal unknown selves, but also a shared, unknown self of all humanity. Individuation is a process that involves coming to know the self more deeply, and integrating the contents of the unconscious into the personality. As the collective unconscious is infinite and continually expanding and numinous, this amounts to an endless exploration of an inner landscape that can never be fully mapped, for which read: made fully objective/scientific.

Becoming a self, and issues of identity and agency are such important themes in Supernatural. Castiel’s whole journey is very explicitly one of going from being heaven’s brainwashed automaton soldier, to rebellling, and experimenting (sometimes disastrously, but ultimately savingly) with free will, and finally to achieving a sense of wholeness and deep joy based in selfless, unconditional love. Dean’s story is less allegorical and less obvious because it’s messier, less mythological and more human, but it’s the same story. If you squint, I think you can see that kind of process in other characters, too, albeit in less depth, for example, in Sam, Crowley, Rowena, etc.

This is important: from where I sit, Dean deserves EVERY good thing. He has already been through FAR too much, and it hurts that he is, at the start of season 12, in for SO MUCH MORE. Dean is never doing less his very best, and his fundamental motivation is love, and if he makes mistakes, I forgive EVERY ONE OF THEM unreservedly, because he deserves no less. I am an inveterate Dean devotee. I adore him, and if you hate Dean, I judge you. More than that, I think you don't understand the story, because Dean is the fundamentally good and beating heart of it. If you disagree with that, we have nothing further to discuss.

While we're here...I love Supernatural’s theory of goodness being tied to love, a desire for it, and on intention, truthfulness and being on that road, rather than perfection. Love can make mistakes. Good people can do wrong things. TFW is good because they WANT to be good, they are motivated by love, and interested in the truth. They are fucked up in some ways, and they all have ISSUES, but making mistakes is an unavoidable component of learning, growing and being in the business of righting wrongs, and they are all very earnestly ON THAT PATH. So, they are GOOD.

And FINALLY: when we talk about Mary, it involves talking about the Jungian idea of Anima, which is really very murky in some ways in Jung’s writing and elsewhere, and that’s not surprising because Anima/Animus are denizens of humanity's unconscious, and so their full meanings are by definition, unknown. I think the most useful way to think about Anima/Animus is that they are about interrelatedness and syzygy between equal and opposite, cooperative forces. If Amara represented Chuck's Anima, Mary’s return is about Anima on Dean’s level. On a human level. According to Jung, a man's first Anima figure is the archetype of The Mother.

For me, the key questions are these: In what sense was Mary (or what she represents) what Dean needed? What is Mary's function in Dean's individuation narrative, because that is what I think we are dealing with? And also, why do I fucking love her so goddamned much when she is making my sweet baby Dean so sad? And, can we believe Amara when she tells Dean her reasons in season 15, or is that a retcon of some kind?

(to be cont’d because this is too fucking long!)

(GO TO PART 4)

[wave-nine]

Another different anon.

I agree with the first anon after the request about 'papscest' you posted. As someone who has been around in various fandoms for a while (2 1/2 decades or so) self-ships have always sat as a nebulous point, not just for Undertale but any fandom. Even if the content does not actually show anything Mature, it's been a long standing compromise between those who don't see issue with it and those that do to include some kind of tag using '-scest' as part of it that indicates that.

I feel that dropping it completely runs the risk of people who are deeply uncomfortable with seeing the content at all stumbling across your work and getting upset by it. This adds a risk of you, as the artist, receiving upset messages about not 'tagging your work appropriately' because it would get around any kind of blacklisting/filtering those people may have in place.

Using both is a great compromise, in my opinion, but if the anon who made the request wants to change the common term for this kind of ship it needs to happen with more than one person, and should be a genuine attempt that includes people who would want to avoid that new term as well.

ps thank you for sharing your work with us, it always makes me smile so much

Though I find the term "selfcest" to be unfortunate, it's how it's always been called as far as I'm aware. Changing this, at such a large scale, would require a great effort... and even then it would be difficult to implement, regardless of everyone being in accordance or not.

It's important to me that I can properly tag content to avoid causing others negative feelings, as the last thing I want is to upset someone with my art. For the reasons you and the previous anon have mentioned, I feel like removing the term entirely may have a more negative impact.

I wanted to see what others thought first because maybe I was missing something or I was thinking about things the wrong way, but I can't really find a better solution than using both terms :(

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic, AND ALSO THANK YOU I'M SOOOOOOOOO happy the things I draw can make you smile!!!!!!!!!!! ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ)