#i don't like asks about my body or my personal life
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Being the bane of sukunas existence as you're his girlfriend because you act like a perverted old man around him... he kinda digs it tho, its mildly hilarious and he doesn't dislike the unhinged attention (he tries to be so lowkey about it)
Every once in a while, you'll caress his behind or fondle his big boobily man breasts, the same way he does to you. he was only stunned at first - now he is completely unphased by your sneaky little hands.
he texts you, asking you what you want for dinner, and he's not surprised when the answer is "i want you oiled up and naked in bed by the time i get home". then he just replies with "making pasta"
Big obnoxious smacking noises when you kiss him all over, and sukuna just lets you be, he'll be sitting on the couch turning the tv on and here you come, smooching his cheek. sometimes, its the top of his head, other times, its his forehead or neck. if you do it too much though, you'll get covered with his bite marks in return.
when sukuna gets up to go to the toilet, you ask him if you can hold his peepee while he takes a piss, bc you saw a funny tiktok talking about it... he gives you a silent judgmental stare as he closes the door on your face. but behind it, he lets out the tiniest snort and shakes his head bc the idea of it is so ridiculous.
one time when you go outdoor camping with him you genuinely accidentally stumble close to sukuna who is taking a leak in the forest bush area and he catches you staring from behind as he's buttoning himself back up. and then he's chasing you down while you're screaming that it was an accident and that you only heard him peeing and didn't actually see anything. (not that you don't know what it looks like, anyway.)
when he's sweaty after a workout or some physical exertion, you'll definitely be approaching him deviously, talking about some "covered in flavour" type of bullshit... he'll push your face away and head into the shower but his ears are flushed with red.
just... sukuna who will let u mack on him endlessly bc he secretly doesn't hate the doting 🥹🥹🥹 and if you're not being obnoxiously lewd or affectionate?? thats when he knows something's up...
and obviously, every now and then you'll say something that makes him know that you're not just lusting over his body.
during a walk back home on a summer afternoon, you point upwards while holding his hand and looking up.
"sukuna, look. you're in the sky."
he reluctantly looks up, expecting some sort of dick shaped cloud or something like that. but there are no clouds in sight.
"what is there to look at?" he asks, quizzically.
"the colour, silly. when the sun's still setting, the sky always gets like this, around the same time everyday. the pretty pinkish colour, like your hair."
he turns silent and observes the sky for a minute. you call him silly, as if it's an everyday thing that you compare a person with the literal sky.
"it's my favourite time of the day..." you mumble, just barely audible to his ears. and something about the way you stand there, and speak so softly, makes you look so pretty to him. "i'll always think of you when the sun is setting."
"oh- but i think of you everyday regardless, i suppose."
he already knows that. he already knows you love him. why does he feel so flushed right now?
"alright, i get it. enough. let's continue home," he urges you, holding your hand tighter. you follow him down the street, like a puppy.
life couldn't feel more at peace right now, with your fingers interlocked with his, listening to you hum your favourite song on the way home, the street now covered with the orange light of the sunset.
"any ideas for dinner?" he asks, a few minutes after some silence.
"mmm..."
oh, he regrets asking the question now, fully knowing what's coming.
"i want your tatas in my mouth, please."
"tatas?" sukuna's asks with furrowed brows.
after bursting into laughter at the way he said it, you attempt to think up an actual food you want for dinner.
"...just for tonight." sukuna mutters.
"huh?"
"don't ask me again, i might change my mind."
"wait- really?"
let's just say, your mouth had a taste of heaven for the first time that night.
#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen x reader#sukuna x y/n
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Buck volunteers for the Thanksgiving shift. When Maddie asks, he apologizes, saying, "I don't really feel festive right now. But keep some leftovers for me?"
On the day, firehouses around the country all have similar calls to deal with: kitchen grease fires from frying turkeys, sprains in backyard games of football, people injuring one another because "did you hear what she said about our Emma/Francis/Kailey?". Buck is kept too busy to think, and it's nice having the time to catch up with Ravi, who's thinking of going to school to study law.
Their brothers and sisters in uniform also drop off dishes at the station, so between calls, they get pretty good food. Captain Graham gives them an hour offline after four consecutive calls. Buck collapses into a chair and serves himself pasta salad and a delicious honey baked ham, while his dinner rolls warm up in the oven.
He's scrolling through his phone, diligently avoiding the messaging apps, when a message preview pops up.
Tommy.
Buck almost drops his fork. He scrambles away from the dinner table, even though no one on C shift will try to take his phone from him, and finds a spot in the stairwell to read it.
Tommy: hope you have a good & safe Thanksgiving
As he's reading, another bubble appears and Buck's heart skips several beats, but this time it doesn't disappear. A second message arrives, followed by a third.
Tommy: don't know why I texted that
Tommy: guess I just wanted to say something to you
Tommy: you don't have to reply
Tommy: anyway. Happy holidays
Buck feels a slight loosening of the vice around his heart that has been there since that night. With a smile on his face, he types, deletes, types again.
Buck: happy Thanksgiving to you too
Buck: how many kitchen grease fires you got this year? We had 3
Tommy: you're working today?
Tommy: 4, but one of it was in the backyard
They're having a conversation. They're having an actual casual conversation, as easy as they used to on calmer shifts. Buck wants to cry. But he has to answer Tommy's question or have this conversation end too soon. Thinking about his options, he decides that he has nothing to lose anyway.
Buck: I didn't wanna sit around and smile and pretend I'm thankful for everything
Buck: it's better to keep busy
Tommy: I know that feeling
Tommy: I'm sorry
Buck: I'm sorry too
Buck: I wish we could've celebrated together
Buck: I would've said that I'm thankful for you
Tommy: I would have said that too
Tommy: I'm still thankful for you jsyk. I'll always be grateful to have got to know you
Does Tommy think he can't stay in Buck's life just because they broke up?
Buck: I don't think you know me well enough
Tommy: sorry
Buck wishes he'd run after Tommy that night, or done something since to show that he wants Tommy. Well, here's your chance, his brain reminds him. Do something.
He takes a deep breath. Then he types.
Buck: I want to meet. If I come over after Thanksgiving shift, will you please be home?
Tommy: is that a good idea
Buck: idk. But I can't stop thinking about you, and I miss you, and I wanna know what I did wrong. I wanna meet.
Tommy: I miss you too. You didn't do anything wrong, I just didn't want to... Idk. I didn't want to get my hopes up too much.
Buck: we need to talk in person. Texting is not good enough.
It isn't. He needs to see Tommy again. Tommy with his storm blue eyes and tender smile and broad shoulders and soft clothes. Tommy whose crinkly smile drives Buck a little (a lot) insane. Tommy whose lips he now knows the shape of by touch alone, whose body he has mapped out in detail, who knows how it feels to be inside Buck in the most intimate of ways.
He waits for a response. Hopes there will be one. It comes several minutes after, like Tommy had to really think about it.
Tommy: maybe not immediately after Thanksgiving shift
Tommy: are you off on Monday
The relief that crashes into Buck feels almost as overwhelming as the tsunami he was caught in years ago.
Buck: yes
Buck: your place this time
Buck: I'll bring cake
Tommy: you don't have to bribe me to open the door
Buck: no I just baked too much stuff is all. I'll explain when we meet
Buck: I'm really thankful you texted
Tommy: I'm thankful you replied
Tommy: have a good rest of the shift, Evan
It's Evan again. Buck can't hide his smile at all. Tucking his phone into his pocket, he goes back to dinner. Monday can't be here fast enough.
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Since making this post, I've found myself swinging like a pendulum between "I was too absolutist in the OP, there probably are some people who have gotten some form of trauma through reading or watching a movie" and "I still don't believe anyone has been traumatized through reading or watching a movie because I haven't seen any evidence of that happening, nor an explanation of how it would happen." Certainly, if someone stumbles away from a book/movie/podcast/etc with trauma symptoms, they deserve full support and recovery. But from everything I know about trauma (I am not an accredited expert and don't know everything), that isn't likely to happen. I'm not convinced our brains don't make clear distinctions between being in life-threatening danger and sitting in a comfortable chair with our eyes on a page or screen. The edge cases I've been presented with have usually had a pretty clear real-life culprit aside from, or at least in strong addition to, the book/movie (abusive family won't let you turn the horror movie off-->this is a context for trauma even if the movie was a comedy).
Nobody owes me information about their personal health and if, after reading my post, someone goes "Yeah, we shouldn't use 'traumatized' as an exaggeration or term of condemnation for media, but I really am traumatized after reading Bridge to Terebithia and I'll keep using that word," more power to them. Several people, though, have responded with more general claims, as you have, that amount to "But fiction can cause trauma," without backing this statement up. (This is the part where the hornets' nest swings back: don't worry, I'm a swarm of very lazy and pedantic hornets.) To tell me, in effect, "Your brain can't tell the difference between watching 2012 and surviving an actual earthquake," you're asking me to make a pretty big shift in my understanding of how brains and people work, and I'm not willing to go that far just because someone tells me so. There's a chapter early in The Body Keeps the Score where Bessel van der Kolk talks about brain scans he did with two survivors of a car accident to measure the physical impact of PTSD, and at this moment in time, I don't believe the same brain rewiring has ever happened as a result of reading about a car accident.
(Someone brought up vicarious trauma, but all the examples I can find of vicarious trauma relate to media coverage or secondhand experience of real-life tragedies. To speak very briefly from personal experience, a loved one's sudden death can cause/be a vicarious trauma even if you don't witness it firsthand. Reading Bridge to Terebitha isn't equivalent to having a real person in your life die suddenly. It's actually very significant that when you close the book, your friends and loved ones are still alive!)
I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
#I'd use 'traumatized' to either mean 'developed symptoms of PTSD or at least acute stress disorder'#or 'went through something widely known to be a potential cause of PTSD or acute stress disorder'#-even if you don't develop the symptoms you still have the aftereffects#such as the funeral to plan and the dead loved one's absence in your life#I know books and movies don't do the latter (you walk out of 2012 and the world is still standing) so the conversation is about the former#here it's the matter of evidence#it's possible that the people with PTSD from fiction just haven't been accounted for by trauma researchers#but I don't want to base our discourse about literature or trauma on hypotheticals when we have urgent realities#(book-banning and people who have been through real traumas)
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The Needs of Both these Messy Gays~
I just want to make a point and state that I'm not attacking or pitting both these guys against each other. They're dumbasses, the both of them.
Blitz is someone that is going to need constant reassurance when he's in a relationship.
Being told the words "I love you" scares the fuck out of him because he doesn't trust those words of love.
At the same time, romantic gestures don't work on him because he's always going to assume the worst.
"And then, he'll call me to see how my day was! And he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and LAUGH AT MY JOKES—"
Blitz is someone that has used his body and sex as a way to get what he wants. But his relationship to sex is one of the reasons why he's unable to trust those romantic gestures.
Blitz constantly seeks reassurance, and he asks Stolas for that reassurance a LOT throughout Full Moon and Apology Tour...
"Am I not, like, fucking you good enough? Because I-I can always- I can always do better--"
Blitz immediately asks Stolas for reassurance that he's good enough, and that if he isn't good enough, he makes it a point to tell Stolas that he can do better.
Stolas responds to Blitz saying he cares very deeply for him, but being told he's cared about doesn't give him the reassurance he needs.
Blitz asks for reassurance twice from Stolas in Apology Tour...
"This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?"
"Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even know why you would want to be with me."
Stolas never says anything really wrong in his responses to Blitz, and I think Blitz himself needed to here that. BUT if Stolas were to make one mistake, it would be that he states that he wants somebody / anybody.
Blitz doesn't reach out to Stolas because of his issues in intimacy, and because Blitz himself hasn’t been given the reassurance that he's the one Stolas wants.
Do you know who does give Blitz the reassurance that he's needed? Millie.
Millie is able to give concrete examples to Blitz on how he made an impact on her life.
In fact, Millie states that Blitz is the reason that everything she has in her life is thanks to him being unapologetically himself.
"He gave me so much: a career, a husband, a future, and now... he's my best friend."
The moment Millie gives Blitz the example of how much she values him as a person and as a friend, Blitz immediately asks for reassurance...
"You... you don’t hate me?"
And Millie automatically says, "Nah, never."
The moment Blitz is given the reassurance that he isn't hated by Millie, he opens up, he becomes vulnerable.
Blitz allows Millie to comfort him, and Blitz initiates that intimacy with Millie to which she obliges.
What's beautiful about this exchange is that there isn't anything remotely sexual about it. This is just one friend comforting another friend in need.
Blitz asks for reassurance again in the form of a question...
And the moment Millie reaffirms that sentiment, Blitz opens up and shows Millie the real him.
Not the fuckboy facade, not the mask he wears... this is the REAL Blitz...
Blitz also shows incredible growth by not deflecting to jokes like he usually does, but instead by being honest with Millie...
Blitz promises to Millie that he'll stop impeding on her marriage
Blitz states in the most subtle way that he has feelings for Stolas
Stolas needs to be told that he's cared for and that he's loved by someone.
He's also someone that seeks romantic affection in the form of compliments, and big and small romantic gestures mean the world to him as well.
Blitz unknowingly makes Stolas’s romantic fantasies come true...
A rogue assassin comes into his bedroom to "scale the walls" and he acts like he wants Stolas a lot.
This man is attractive, he is literally the protagonist of a romance novel. His boldness and confidence is alluring. He is a dream come true and he's here to take what's his.
This man just literally sweeps Stolas off his feet, and he still does this while giving you the most smug grin.
Blitz throws Stolas to the bed, and gives him ultimate rizz in the form of this shit eating grin.
And the moment Blitz bites his neck, Stolas is so fucking into it he creams himself.
Blitz is so good actually, extremely good in being bold, confident, and sexy. He knows how to unravel Stolas. *cough*
In fact, the moment Blitz catches him, Stolas is smitten and he is down bad.
To Stolas, this is a big romantic gesture. This is a motherfucking dream come true for Stolas because, "OMG THIS HOT ASS MAN JUST FUCKING SAVED ME!"
But Blitz isn't a romantic, he's not good at showing romantic affection in small ways, and that's what screws him over.
Stolas wants and actively seeks the smallest bit of reassurance and comfort that Blitz can provide, whether it be through text and or in other small ways.
This motherfucking birb, this dumbass Prince, even when he has every right to be angry at Blitz for the shit he said to him, still wants Blitz to hold him. In fact, he makes him hold him.
Stolas is so fucking cute, being all like, "I'm mad at you, but I still demand you hold me."
"You wanna know what I want? I want to know what it's like, to not be alone. I want to be someone's someone. I want to feel wanted. But like, in a romantic way, like I'm standing out in the rain at a train station and someone is shouting: “Harriet! Don’t get on that train, it’s going to London and I cannot be without you!”
Harriet the Train is a big romantic gesture. Stolas likes big romantic gestures, and Blitz is really good at doing actions that are big and bold.
Blitz has made Stolas feel wanted in The Circus and he makes him feel protected in Seeing Stars. Blitz knows how to be big.
Stolas doesn't need Blitz to perform Harriet the Train, but can he? Oh fuck yes he can.
"The point is, I just... want someone to care if I stay or go. I want someone to want... me! To want to see me. To hold me. To look at me and think "You're the only one I want!" [sheds tears] "I desire to hold you and talk to you, and never let you feel so..."
This is what Stolas wants from someone right now. He wants to feel wanted in the small ways, he wants to be held, he wants someone to talk to him, to make him feel not so alone.
Right now, at this very moment, Stolas needs the small stuff. He needs the small bits of intimacy that Blitz is not in the right headspace to provide in Apology Tour.
Do you know who gives Stolas what he needs at the moment? Better than Blitzo guy.
He's smooth and charming in a different way from Blitz. He doesn't even look at Blitz, actually, his eyes are only on Stolas.
"Great song earlier. You have great pipes."
He compliments Stolas on his singing, and Stolas is happy to be given a compliment.
BTB than asks Stolas to dance, and Stolas is both surprised and in disbelief.
Stolas is so happy and genuinely has an amazing time dancing with BTB, he even goes out of his way to use his wings to give Stolas a spin.
BTB even performs a big romantic gesture of pulling Stolas into a sloppy wet kiss, to which Stolas happily reciprocates.
I think both these idiots have the potential to be what the other really needs, and I honestly think with proper communication they can have the most beautiful relationship.
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#helluva boss blitz#ro rambles#stolitz#helluva blitz#stolas#blitzo x stolas#stolas goetia#Helluva meta analysis
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𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒, 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑
word count 3.7k
content warning grief, mentions of death and attempted suicide, slight marital woes, frustration, curly’s mom living up to her “boy mom” title toward the end, talks about family planning (there’s not baby in this fic dw😭), black reader friendly
author’s note hi. again, thank you for the engagement on good luck, captain. this is a follow-up with post-crash curly and you both deal with the aftermath. this isn’t beta read and i’m not a professional in anything medical or legal (theatre major😓), as always, i’m open to feedback. i based this version of curly on ladonb.kokosa’s post-mouthwashing au! my requests are open as well - swing by!
synopsis set after good luck, captain! you didn’t think you’d live a life without your husband but you were and, slowly but surely, you were inching towards a new normal. And then your phone rings.
You remember the day they told you he wasn't coming home. The Pony Express first played it off as the mission being extended. And then they told you the Tuplar was missing and that the company was working their hardest to save them.
A year after their initial excuse of an extended mission, the Pony Express admitted the Tuplar was stranded 147 days into its journey. The company put the pieces together days after a report from the ship about a crash and realized it might be too late to save the crew as their oxygen was long gone.
You lost him. There wasn't even a hole in your heart but in your stomach and you felt like you were going to eat yourself alive. Your husband's body was somewhere in Space. Your Curly was gone. You were so mad at him before he left. His saddened face mixed with defensiveness was the last thing you saw. You didn't even say bye.
You don't remember how you got home. The stupid pony company called all of you - Curly's mom, Swansea's daughters, Daisuke's mother - to their headquarters under the impression that they had found them. Instead, you were sunken to your knees, unable to function.
Curly's mom stayed with you, abandoning Colorado for California. She spent every day by your side - trying to feed you on your couch as you couldn't bring yourself to sleep in the bed you shared with him. She was there to stop you from smashing every glass thing in your home from picture frames to the glass coffee table in your living room. She stopped you from ending your life when you couldn't bear to not wake up without Curly anymore.
"You're the only thing I have left of him," she told you. "You're like a daughter now. My responsibility."
Another year passed by - another anniversary, another birthday, another day he was supposed to be home. You were slightly better now, still living in your husband's home. You started going back to work. You were getting ready to go one morning when you received a call from a number you didn't recognize.
"Hello?"
"Is this Mrs. Curly?"
You hadn't used that name since he died. "This...this is she."
Cedars-Sinai had a body. They were in and out of consciousness but showed life and the hospital wanted to get this person in the best shape possible and send them back home. They said you were a person of interest.
So you went.
Was it bad that you were hoping it wasn't him? What if it was that boy, Daisuke? He wasn't a kid but he was still so young and full of life. You noticed him before you sort of saw Curly off. You remember his mom and how devastated she was when you all heard the news.
When you arrived at the hospital, you were immediately met with authorities. Before you could move any further, some investigators asked you to follow them into an empty examination room.
"The Tuplar was brought back here and we've had it for a while as you've heard," they started. "Everyone aboard is dead except one - the body you were called about. They didn't have a uniform on like the rest of the crew."
"Why are you telling just me this? Shouldn't there be other people hearing this news?" You hesitantly step back.
"We're hoping that body belongs to your husband. The medical side of this investigation is positive it’s him.”
They go on to explain what they think happened. All signs pointed to Jimmy, who seemed to be the only one who shot himself. They were still trying to piece together if he indirectly or directly murdered everyone else but it was clear he put your husband in the cryopod they found him in.
"We think the crash the freighter company caught wind of was the start of all of this. Your husband probably tried to stop the Tuplar from crashing," one of the investigators continued.
"Is he…okay? Can I see him?" Fuck Jimmy and fuck that ship.
The investigators go silent and look at each other, realizing you haven’t seen him yet. You start to grow impatient. "Can I see him?” you repeat.
"Please get you and your husband a lawyer. You'll need one. We're a call away if you both need any help." They slide you a contact card, leaving you confused.
"Where are you going?!" You follow them out of the examination room. You look down the hallway and decide that the investigators are no help and you decide to ask the medical personnel crowding the hall. You tap the back of a nurse. "Where is my husband? He’s Captain Grant Curly of the Tuplar." The nurse’s mouth twists in confusion but when your words settle she gives you the guiltiest look ever.
This continues as you move through the sea of so-called experts. You finally reach a room and you know it's him when two more nurses emerge for the room with fear-stricken faces. You're not so sure anymore if you want to go in there. The world around you goes silent; you're not sure if everyone around you knows you’re the Captain's wife or if you were used to tuning everything out by now.
You take a brave step and enter.
And immediately, you felt that hole growing in your stomach again.
One look at him and you were stumbling back. You fell on your rear, hand over your mouth, unable to control your tears or your screams. Finally, everyone in the hallway wanted to do their jobs.
Most days are awkward. The Curly now isn't the Curly you met years ago in London. He was quieter and less trusting of others. But who could really blame him?
Another year in - no anniversary date, no birthday, but he was here...and at the same time, he wasn't.
The investigation was adamant on their theory that Jimmy was the root of it all - the crash, your husband's burns, the deaths. It was something seeing random members of Jimmy's family coming out to defend him. The way he was so attached to Curly, you thought he didn't have any relatives.
His mom would get in T.V. and bawl her eyes out. She'd go on and on about how he was a sweet boy, that he was bullied growing up and it's hard for him to trust others. She'd talk about how Jimmy wouldn't intentionally hurt Curly and that the latter was his "'bestest' friend in the “whole entire world” so that means he wouldn’t hurt his best friend on purpose. She said Jimmy was troubled. That you could agree with but not in the same sense.
With your husband not being as talkative and responsive as he used to be, there was a long way to go before gaining a full understanding of what had happened and why. They had to get him to gesture for responses. Sometimes they couldn't get anything out of him. The whole situation was complicated on its own and it didn’t help that his voice was taken from him.
You wondered if he was mad at you. Your last conversation wasn't your proudest moment. Yes, he couldn’t speak but he wouldn’t look you in the eye or sometimes he’d turn his head slightly when you tried interacting with him.
Or maybe he was cold to everyone. His mom pretty much lived in your home now and he wasn't as responsive to her either. However, you remember all the times she complained about you, and before the mission, he had plans to confront her about it.
He was on a new diet. His doctors encouraged him to have everything blended to start and a lot of nutrients to help him with his health. You often were the one to feed him.
Some days he was willing. Tonight he was stubborn.
"Please. Please eat this," you begged. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and "snack time" were either the worst or best times of your day. He turned his head away and then his body the more you begged. The last straw was when he moved what was left of his arm slightly knocking the eating utensil back onto you and on your clothes.
He realizes what he’s done and looks over at you to see your fuming face.
You take a deep breath trying to hold yourself but you can't. You both wrote vows to each other, put on rings, and lived as a married couple for years. You were helping him when it could be some random fresh-of-school nurse who knew nothing about him.
"I know it's hard being you these days. Hard not having much autonomy, hard not having a voice but sometimes it's hard being your wife and it's been like that for years." You pick the spoon up off of you and throw it on the hospital bed table.
"Even when you weren't..." you struggle to find the words to describe the state he's in, "Even when you weren't you now, it was hard being your wife. With your mom letting me know I didn't deserve you, with your extreme obliviousness, and fucking Jimmy fucking everything up per fucking usual."
For once, he was focused on you, tracking how your hands frustratingly danced with the words coming out of your mouth. "So, fuck me for trying right? Fuck me for waiting, fuck me for giving up my dream for us, fuck me for staying."
For extra effect, you get up pushing your chair a little too far back, that it falls. You notice him wince, how his shoulders slightly jump. "Fuck me! Fuck it all, Grant!" You finish off. You storm off into the hallway completely done with all of this.
You often asked yourself if you were ever making the right choice. He had nurses and doctors - people who knew how to take care of him.
"You're doing the right thing by sticking beside him," his doctor told you once. “He’s more responsive when you’re around. You’re helping him adjust.”
The guilt settled in. You were frustrated. You didn’t need to yell at him like that. You close your eyes and decide to go back into his room. You can't give up on him.
"Curly, baby?"
He's still sitting up, head hanging low now. You pick up the chair and the spoon off the table. “I…I didn't mean to lash out at you. I apologize for doing so.” You sit down and take a deep breath. “I just feel like such a failure. I let you get on that fucking ship and I let you get on with that…that…”
Jimmy wasn’t a man but he wasn’t a little boy either. He was genuinely miserable but yet so immature.
“And when you don’t eat, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. I want you to get better and I want to do better by you. Please," you beg.
You scoop up some blended broccoli and for the first time that day, he eats.
Another 365 days. You plan your anniversary dinner at the hospital with hospital cafeteria food, he's able to have a bit of birthday cake, and slowly, he's redefining himself.
The past year was full of constant hospital visits; your husband's doctor wanted specialists to give him skin grafts so he could at least feel and look more human than before - a statement you didn't like hearing. You always felt like everyone looked at him as some bizarre yet groundbreaking science project. For fuck sake, he and his crew were targeted and he was hurt trying to save their lives.
Curly had gotten sick from an infection he likely developed from his time in the cryopod to his return back to Earth. Despite being treated like a textbook study, he was well enough to come home for a little bit before the start of this current year.
You started the year by looking into different hand and leg prosthetics. You were only able to afford mechanical hook hands and legs for the first go but hopefully, this lawsuit against Pony Express will bring you enough to buy the robotic hands and legs he was eyeing.
He spent time between your home and the hospital after the first few skin graft procedures and he was fairing better in the hospital compared to home. You were bummed when you agreed to have him live full time in a hospital but you came to terms that something like this took a village. You hated his doctor, the nurses, and every other "specialist" who treated him like he wasn't human but they knew what they were doing. He just needed someone who still saw his human side and had the power to defend him - you.
When you weren't in court or with a lawyer or taking time to yourself at home, you were here with him. You told him about your week, complained about your concerns, and sometimes you'd sit in silence.
His newest and biggest milestone was his voice box. It took a while, and multiple ridiculous accents and dialects, to adjust but he finally spoke when the voice specialists you both worked with could give him an Australian accent.
"Say something," his coach encouraged, "I really think this might be the one."
Curly looks at you first, offering you his right mechanical hand. You look at it and for once you aren't reluctant and you hold it. You remember the first time he held your elbow and then your wrist the time you met. You remember how it made you feel; you were drinking at that pub but not feel more freeing than how he touched you that first night.
You felt that again. It was still there.
"I love you," he says. His voice is definitely from Down Under and it sounds a little electronically fried but your Curly had his voice again. You try to contain yourself. You didn't want to make him feel bad by crying. Your free hand finds itself on top of his and you pull it up to your lips.
"I love you too, Captain."
So the years keep passing and he gets better every day. Less time in the hospital and more time trying to beat him in a race. Curly loves to run; it's all he does. Every day he runs twice: once early in the morning and again before dinner. You've never woken up
to him beside you but to the sound of him returning and the feel of him rubbing his forehead against yours.
Oh, and he’s gotten back into skiing. At least once in a few you both visit Colorado and you watch him do his little snow sports. Coming from California, you didn’t really get it but you loved seeing how his eye lit up once he met you at the end.
He's eating solids. You have enough money for the hands he wanted but somehow you can't fathom not being able to help him eat. Sitting in the dining room was when you felt most intimate with him. It was just the two of you and when you felt the most vulnerable. However, you wanted the best for him and you wanted him to grow. So…maybe they’ll be a Christmas gift later? You can’t decide.
The investigation settled when your husband could finally tell his story from the layoff news to Jimmy's multiple violations. The Pony Express chose to settle rather than fight it out of court. Your lawyers wanted to go after Jimmy’s family next but as much as you wanted to ruin him, you found it wasn’t worth it. Jimmy died and he never got to have what you have. He could burn in Hell ten times over.
So the saga was coming to an end; the news found a different story to report on, Curly was home and was getting better and stronger, and you both found your rhythm again.
And his mom was returning back to the woman you knew before your husband's return.
She comes over one night for dinner. "So, now that things are settled...can I make the grandkid joke?" she starts. Mrs. Former Curly is the only one laughing and she knows it.
It was like oxygen had just been sucked out of the planet. You've lost your appetite. "Excuse me. I'm just going to get some air." You kiss your husband's forehead, trying to let him know you are fine. Him feeling guilty about all of this would break your heart. It really wasn't his fault.
The cold, rough feel of cement on the stairs brought a shiver to your spine but it became comfortable. You pull your knees up to your chest and stare out into the street.
"And see here-" Curly's standing in the middle of the street. "Our kid is going to draw little flowers and stars and stick figures of our family and neighborhood."
"Grant, please get out of the street," you yell out to him. He complies and comes over wrapping his arms around your waist. "Why would I need a kid if I have you around?" you joke.
"Well, Mrs. Serious, I need a mini-me to share my crazy, hopeful ideas with right? To give you some space," he jokes back.
You both only really wanted one. If you had more, fine - but you only were prepped for one child.
You hold his face before pulling him in for a kiss.
"You think she'll have your hair and my eyes?" he asks once you pull away. You raise an eyebrow. "What makes you think we'll have a girl?"
He has the hugest grin on his face. "Just a feeling. We're definitely girl parents!"
What the hell happened? If you only nagged him harder about working somewhere else or if he didn't pick up that phone call or if Jimmy could hold on his own.
What if you never met him? Told him to fuck off in London? You would meet some mediocre guy here in the States and convince yourself that he was your soulmate and you'd have the little girl you wondered about often running around your home.
You snap out of your thoughts when you feel a brush of air and Curly is getting down to sit next to you. He stares out into the street and it settles for him too. You both sit in silence.
He breaks it first. “I told her I’d check on you and once you’re settled, I’ll go back and kick her out. That was really uncalled for.”
You follow up. "It's not your fault, you know? Everything else, I mean. Not what your mom said.”
"I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have settled with Pony Express or Jimmy or how I viewed the world," he answers. "Imagine how different our lives would be."
"You have a heart of gold and unfortunately, you see the good in everyone even when you shouldn't. I know you feel so much guilt about...you know, Jimmy and what happened on the Tuplar. But you learned," You look over at him before placing a hand on his back. "Next time, you'll be more responsible."
You move closer to him and start rubbing his back slowly. He doesn't say anything back, so you change the subject.
"How do I tell your mom I don't want kids anymore? It's something that just can't happen and I accept that."
He doesn't say anything but hums, telling you that he's thinking. "Are you sure? That room is empty other than the stuff I left in there,” he finally says.
When you first moved in, Curly began to buy things that reminded him of the little girl you were yet to have and put them in the room you reserved for your first child. You thought he was insane but sure, whatever makes you feel prepped.
"You clearly still want it if you haven't cleared the room," he says.
You hang your head. "When I thought you died, I considered other options: adoption, surrogacy, insemination. People told me to look into that stuff… to keep the home full, they said. But I think where we are right now, we can put our wants aside. Maybe for good." You move your hand from his back to his knee. "I need to fix us first. Make sure we're okay...and that's going to take a long time."
He's still looking out into the street.
"Baby," you quietly say to him, "A kid isn't going to fix us, I'm really really sorry. I have to make sure you’re at your best and moreover, I can't raise a child when I'm not happy. It'll take us a long time to pick up where we left off."
"I don't make you happy?" You can see the sadness in his eye and you feel that large hole in your stomach ready to eat you up.
Jimmy, even in death, got what he wanted. The confusion and hurt that he tried to inflict on your relationship finally found you both.
"You make me happy, Grant. You'll always make me happy. I'm so glad you still love me because I always loved you, even when I thought you were gone for good," you clarify. You gently hold his jaw and have him look at you. "I'm just not happy with what's happened to us. When they first told me I lost you, I thought I was going to die. And those days when you came back...and the fight to keep you alive and to keep you with me..." your voice trails off.
You stay frozen in this position before you feel him wrapping one arm around your waist, being you as close as you can be to him. "Okay," is all he can manage to say. It was filled with so much weight yet understanding.
"You conquered the Tuplar and we can conquer this," you quietly to him.
For once, neither of you knew what this entailed but you also know that when his co-pilot would crash their ship, he didn't know he'd find his way home and you both didn't know that you'd be sitting outside like this. But you had your faith and hope in each other.
There isn't much to fear.
#captain curly#captain curly x reader#curly mouthwashing#curly x reader mouthwashing#curly x reader#mouthwashing x reader#black reader
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Not Alone Part 2 (Medication)(Eddie X You)
A/N: This is what I mentioned writing the other night and is a part to this ask here.
I want to say that I have had so many experiences with medications since I was diagnosed with my mental health issues in 2016. I had watched it help people like myself after so many trials and errors and I've watched it hurt people to their core. I've been physically hurt to the point where I was vomiting and curled up on the bathroom floor. I've had pills that messed with my brain chemistry to the point a friend found me sobbing on the floor terrified I was going to die. All that fun stuff and to be honest the worst part was no feeling heard.
I would tell doctors how much pain I was in and they would tell me it was normal. After a couple of days I would tell them something wasn't right and I was told to give it more time. It wasn't until 2019 I finally found a doctor who worked with me and realized that my brain and stomach are extremely sensitive to meds and we have to start on the lowest doses first before moving up. Ive been on my current set of pills since then and it's changed my life.
Of course, mental health meds don't fix everything and I was suggested a vitamin that help with calming your mind. Yesterday, I took and what the reader feels about her quiet mind is how I felt. I didn't know what to do with myself. Honestly, I just wanted to be held and told everything is ok.
But yeah, my advise to you is trust your gut. If you want to take medication and notice somethings off voice your concern. If you don't like what a drug does or how it affects you, say something. DO NOT let a doctor walk all over you. If I've learned anything over the last few years, it's that all doctors are human and like humans...they make mistakes and can be assholes.
Warnings: Mentions of mental health concerns, details on medication symptoms (tummy ache, vomiting, change in personality, quiet mind), feels of "being a bother" More then anything this is Eddie taking care of you and him making sure you're ok. Mr. White Knight <3.
Word Count: 1579
“Ok and what should we be on the lookout for?”, Eddie asks as his hand remains intertwined with yours.
The doctor you had just met at the insistence of your family heavily exhaled as your boyfriend asked him another question that seemed to annoy him.
“Look, Mr. Munson, she’s going to be fine. This medication helps so many people to be relaxed and quiet their mind. At most, she’ll be so relaxed that you both will get a good night’s sleep. Now, I do have other patients waiting.”
As he begins to walk the door, the metalhead starts to follow before you grab his elbow and pull him back.
“Stop it, freak.”, you tease as he tosses you a smile back.
“Hey, I just want to know that you’re safe. I don’t like seeing you in pain or anything. I know your depression tells you no one cares but I do.”
Beaming up at him, you pull his lips to yours as he wraps his arms around you to hug you to his chest.
***
“Y/N? How are you feeling so far, baby?”
It had been about an hour since you took the antidepressant the doctor recommended and Eddie noticed within 5 minutes of taking it your entire body language changed. You seemed…heavier…as if there was a weight baring down on you and folding your frame.
His careful eyes followed you around the trailer as you silently grabbed a water bottle and sat cross legged on the couch to watch tv. The thing was…he could tell in your eyes that you weren’t really paying attention. You seemed to be looking through the tv instead of comprehending anything going on.
“I’m…I’m ok.”
“Can you give me more than that, please?”, Eddie asked as he sat down beside you.
“I’m…calm. I don’t feel anything really. Like…I’m relaxed but…I kind of just want to curl up into a ball.”, you mumble raising another red flag in his brain.
“Why is that do you think?”
“It’s going to sound dumb.”, you sigh as you hang your head.
“Hey.”, he coos as his fingers lift your chin. “Nothing you say is dumb to me. I’m a freak remember?”
Eddie smirks at the sound of your laugh but even that sounds out of place. This particular metalhead was never a fan of medication. He believed it worked and helped people but in his experience it made things worse. His uncle once tried to put him on ADHD medication when he was a boy and promptly took him off it when he noticed his nephew’s personality completely change. In later years, weed helped calm him down along with his music and creating a campaign for Hellfire.
You had told him once, you struggled with finding your purpose. Your family made you believe that paying bills and working a desk job is normal. It’s the only thing in realty that was attainable.
With him, he showed you a new world that you absolutely loved and encouraged you to try new things like writing or learning an instrument for yourself. Since you had started seeing him, you felt like someone cared and put you first, constantly making you feel wanted and seen.
Throughout your time together, he watched a personality unfold that made him fall more in love with you every day and truth be told he was terrified that medication would strip that away but if it could help you be happy and achieve your dreams than he was open to the idea.
“My mind…has never been quiet. As far as I can remember something’s been…buzzing around in there, you know? This…this scares me…I don’t know…what to do with the silence.”
Eddie’s heart cracks listening to your explanation as he pets your head and kisses your temple.
“Well, sweetheart, things will never be silent with me as your boyfriend.”
Giggling, you crawl into his lap and melt into his embrace as he softly plays with your hair.
***
Three hours later the energy changed as you felt a pain in your stomach you had never felt before. Rushing to the bathroom, you threw up over and over again as Eddie held your hair back.
“Everything’s ok, baby.”, he whispered before turning his attention to the phone next to his ear. “No, I don’t fucking care that he’s not there! Then give me another fucking doctor to talk to. My girlfriend hasn’t stopped throwing up in the last thirty minutes. I refuse to believe that’s fucking normal!”
“Look, sir, there’s nothing we can do about it over the phone and like I said with mental health medication, it is common for it to cause the symptoms she’s experiencing. After a while, they will go away.”
“What is ‘a while’?”
“Usually after 2 weeks, your body gets used to the—”
“Oh, hell no! You’re saying she’s going to be in this much pain for that long?! What about her job, her life, her fucking sanity!? Aren’t these pills supposed to help with the depression!? How does that help!?”
“Eddie…”, you cry as you try to reach for his arm to calm him down.
“Listen, we have an opening for you to see her doctor tomorrow morning. Bring her in and we can take a look.”
“Yeah we’ll do that.”, he sasses before hanging up the phone. “Here, sweetheart. Drink some of this water and then we’ll go lay down ok?”
“I’m sorry.”, you sob causing him to grab a tissue to wipe your eyes.
“You have nothing to be sorry for—”
“I’m causing problems. I’m making things difficult for you—”
“No, baby, No. Listen to me, Y/N. The only thing that’s difficult for me is watching you hurt like this. I knew that fucker wasn’t taking you seriously. I swear to God when we get in there tomorrow—”
“Please…I just wanna lay down.”
Nodding, Eddie careful lifts you and lays you in his bed, bringing the covers up over your frame. After placing a trashcan by the bed and the water on his nightstand, he crawls in behind you and pulls you into his arms, gently kissing your shoulder as he listens to your breath.
***
“Alright, Miss Y/L/N, now I heard you were having some symptoms in regard to the medication and—”
“She’s not taking that bullshit anymore. Check her over and make sure she’s not dehydrated or needs a hospital and then you can fuck off.”, Eddie growled from his place in front of you like the protector he was.
“Listen there’s no need for—”
“There’s a huge fucking need. She came to you for help and you just toss any drug at her without really speaking to her about her history?! You didn’t properly warn her about the side effects. Trust me, the most that happened wasn’t ‘a good night’s sleep’. She threw up half the fucking night and sobbed in arms. Do you know what that’s like?! Having someone you love being in pain and feel so fucking helpless?!”
The doctor cleared his throat as he sighed.
“She said it calmed her mind but to an extent she didn’t know how to handle. You don’t just thrust someone into that. You have to ease them in so they don’t get overwhelmed. You should know that…or did years in medical school strip you have your humanity and common fucking sense?”
“Let, um, let me look her over here.”
Eddie’s intense eyes watched the doctor as he checked you out and you confirmed you felt better since you didn’t take the pill again for day 2.
“She seems fine and one day on the drug won’t hurt her mentally. I recommend a day to rest and then she’ll be as she was.”
The metalhead, seemingly satisfied with his answer, took you in his arms and gently placed you on the tile.
“I’m not trying to be a dick, doctor. She’s been through so much already and all by herself. Lord knows I’m not perfect but if I can help her I will. You dropped the ball here, sir, and I hope you don’t again.”
***
“Thank you.”, you murmur as your arms wrap tighter around him while you both lay in bed listening to the music and the rain outside. “For standing up for me. My family and doctors always treat me like I’m being overdramatic.”
“No, baby, you’re not. You deserve to be heard. My mom’s medication used to make her sick all the time and she would brush it off saying it was part of the process. I know they helped her with her pain but…”
“Will you help me look into maybe some alternatives? Something that can help me without changing or hurting me? Or maybe we can find a doctor that will work with me…”
“Of course, sweetheart.”, he coos as he kisses your forehead. “You’re not an inconvenience or a problem by the way. You say that a lot when you’re low. I really do like helping you and or taking care of you. You’ve always been there for me and I see how you are with other people including some that don’t deserve your kindness. You deserve to have someone help you take the reins from time to time.”
“What did I do to deserve you, Eddie Munson?”, you smile up at him.
His chest vibrates as he laughs and grins down at you.
“I don’t know. Probably some voodoo chant or dance or something.”
##########
Eddie Asks
#eddie munson#eddie fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#joseph quinn#joseph quinn fluff#joseph quinn fanfiction#joseph quinn stranger things#fan fiction#eddie munson fanfic#eddie x reader#eddie x y/n#eddie x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#you matter#you are not alone#you are loved#you are worthy#you are beautiful#you are enough
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The only way i could see Canon Katara interested on Zuko is if he somehow did his Heel Turn long before the start of the show and has become a freedom fighter akin to Jet, but without the murder.
Obviously, this is impossible, there is no way that a young Zuko could become a better person without his exile, his enviroment is just not place that encourage
Sorry for the last question i send, i made a mistake and send it sooner than i wanted.
But anyway, what i tried to say that, even if that ridiculous scenario that i propossed where to happen, Zuko would be a very different characther from his Canon self. Plus even if he has become Katara's type, there is no way to know if Katara would be Zuko's type on that scenario lol
***
Once again, guys: pre-scar and exile Zuko was already dealing with a ton of bagagge, and post-redemption Zuko was already a "freedom fighter but without the murder." Katara saw him at this worst during all of book one, at his somewhat less of dick moments (Ba Sing Se), and at his best after his redemption - and she wasn't attracted to him at any of these points.
"I don't support war, genocide and/or murder" is the bare minimum for Katara to not want somebody dead. Compassion is an obligation, not something that immediately makes a guy be a potential boyfriend in her eyes.
We have the answer of what would take for her to be into Zuko, and that answer is not "He can't be a villain anymore" but rather "He can't be Zuko." He can't be a dork that says the wrong thing in a funny way, she'd get mad. He can't want to live in the Fire Nation, there's nothing there for her. He can't be as stubborn as she is, otherwise they're gonna fight (just look at how many times she fights with Toph). He can't take himself too seriously, she'll just mock him for it (ask Sokka).
She wants the guy that literally sweeps her off her feet to charm her, or the guy that notices she's feeling left out at a party, dances with her, and smoothly tells her to ignore everyone's eyes on them because "it's just you and me." She would NOT react well to a guy that screams "SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" in the middle of their date (just see how well it worked for Aang when he went "I mean, if it was between kissing you and dying")
And we do know what Zuko's type is: Mai. Gloomy yet sweet, bitchy yet unbothered, out-spoken yet doesn't feel she owes anybody any explanations ever, can handle herself but likes being pampered, apathetic yet caring, has nothing prove yet can be quite arrogant, stubborn yet understanding, aloof to the world in general yet obviously crazy about him in particular.
Zuko might catch brief feelings for someone like Jin (nice, sweet and cheery), but long-term he needs someone as messy as himself so he can relate, but with the kind of mess that balances him out instead of encouraging his worst traits - the yin to his yang. He was not kidding when he said "You're so beautiful when you hate the world"
Katara loves life in general too much for her and Zuko to relate to each other in that regard. She doesn't even know what the word "apathy" means. She doesn't have an "unbothered" bone in her body. Girl went through a ton of trauma and still wasn't anywhere near gloomy, quite the contrary. And she has a bad temper, just like Zuko, which they both know is a bad combo, hence them surrounding themselves with more chill people (Aang, Iroh, Hakoda, Mai, etc).
They're not each other's type AT ALL, hence there being no spark when they become friends. Hence them being not just embarassed, but weirded our and uncomfortable when people mistake them for a couple.
There's a reason zutara fics re-write their personalities completely: there's no other way to force them together because they're fundamentally incompatible. The real Zuko would NEVER be attracted to the real Katara, and vice versa.
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COLLEGE AUE
Nanami kento × reader[ lora 'Lorraine' Durchdenwald]
Her name...
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Lora moved to Japan after her mother remarried. She liked her mom's husband he was cool in her eye's at least and honestly a better dad than her real father....her parents divorced when she was 10 and after that, life has been.....shitty.....At the ripe age of 14, after ooh so many visits to the hospital and finally a psychiatrist she found out she has ^borderline personality disorder ^
And honestly even now at the ripe age of 20,
SHE STILL DOESN'T GET IT
"Borderline.....borderline? Like borderline to what exactly I don't get it?....what does that even mean?"
Her psychiatrist explained and explained but she just couldn't get it....all she knew was bpd is not fully understood and the cause of it is mostly childhood trauma and maybe..neglect? Was I a neglected kid? What childhood trauma? what traumatised me?.....oh my father.
Either way, her moving with her mom to Japan was her way of starting anew.
New friends, New life, New people, New scenery, new school.....shit.
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Fast track to the present.....
"Shit shit shit shit shit...AH! Where is it?"
You couldn't find your other sock, you swear that it was probably playing hide and seek with you. "oooh god please where are you?" you asked as if you're sock could reply to you...as if it could say "I'm over here lora under the fridge" you thought to
you're self... if only socks had locators.
"Oooh my god Lora!...it's 7 AM....A.M, why are you being so LOUDE?" Said your best friend from the other side of the room.
"I'm looking for my other sock...I can't find it..the pair"
"WHAT!... Just wear different socks Lora it's no big deal"
"NOOOO! THESE SOCKS GO WITH THESE SHOES! Me changing my socks is gonna ruin the whole.....aesthetic of it all..."
You're best friend just didn't get it... you're wearing sweatpants that cover up your shoe a little, no one was even going to see your socks even if you were to wear mix-matched socks no one would recognise. It's all so ridiculous to her.
"Lora... no one will even be able to see your socks, do you know that?" You looked down at your sweatpants. " ooooh yeah....they won't see..." The girl on the other side of the shared bedroom sighed. "Sooo..just get any sock and get out of here...JEEZZ"
You looked at yourself.....why was I panicking about a stupid sock anyway?
As you're now opting to just wear any sock, you get your side-body bag and as you are about to rush out of your shared student apartment... Aiko calls out to you.....
"Hey Lora.."
"What now Aiko?... I'm not bein-"
"Don't forget you're meds, gurl"
" oooh yeah, almost did"
You take your pills as you always do, it's been 6years since you got diagnosed, and 5 since you started your medications, but your still not used them.
"What would I ever be without you Aiko...my one and only true love"
"A mess thats you'd be"
"Ncoooo I love you toooo"
"Ain't you gonna be late for class?"
You're friend smiled as you blowed her a kiss goodbye and rushed out.
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Thank god campus was just a 15minutes walk...9 if you're being fast enough.
You got to class and lucky for you the lecture wasn't there yet.
"looks like they're running late too"
you took a seat in the middle, and you thought to yourself that in every classroom setting, the middle seats were always the safest from being spotted and pointed at. More and more people started coming in , the lecture also got in, and business class started.
During class... you could sense someone's eye's on you. Whoever they are sure liked looking. You never turned to see who it was..because honestly, you're just scared about who it could be, too scared of being looked at like you're an outsider...you've experienced it before....all because of you're appearance, and you were not in the mood for that right now.
Class ended and you had a 1-hour opening till your next class. Walking out, you could still feel those eyes on you....as you walked out you turned you're head to look at the back to try and see who it could be, but being short-sightedness and not wearing your glasses right now cost you not being able to see who it was...
But one thing you sure about whoever they were...one of them had blonde hair and the other brown?...nah maybe black?....somewhere in between probably and the other brown....it's 3 people.
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NANAMIS POV.....
From the moment Nanami got in class and laid his eyes on you...he couldn't stop himself from staring. You were oh so captivating to him, the whole duration of class he spent just drinking you in.
It was the way you placed you're chin to the heel of your palm, how you chewed at your pen, your lips as they pathed, granting the pen passage for you to chew at it more, the beauty spot on the right side of your lips, oh and your eyes. The moment he caught a glimpse of them as you walked out of class, beautiful brown eyes he could look at them forev-
"Nanami!..stop staring at like her that man" Hiromi said to Nanami as he snapped out of his daze.
"Class is over?" Nanami asked, as if his been paying attention at all.
"what is wrong with you today? Don't you think it's too early to be dozing off in class? Seriously man are you okay?" Said the haibaira with a look of concern, in his years of knowing Kento he had never been one to get distracted in class so easily, so this was new to him.
" I'm ...okeyyy, I just....who was that girl?"
"Which girl? ....you do know that the class has like.. almost 20 girls right? Meaning you have to be specific on who you're talking abo-" haibaira was cut off by Hiromi
" His talking about the girl who just left now"
" oooh well, I didn't see her sooo....."
"She has....like curly hair.....or something, she's the only person with such curly hair in class, yu"
"Oooh yeah, I see her...that girl with an ungodly amount of green things, wait... Nanami" haibaira looked at his friend with a childish grin and then looked at Hiromi who just nodded at haibaira as they both came to the conclusion and acknowledgement that ... Nanami had a little crush.
"She has an awful amount of green things, don't you think?" Nanami said to himself, remembering how almost all your stationery was a different shade of green, even your phone case was green.
"She must like green a lot then"
"Nanami...you're thinking out loud," said Haibaira
"Oooh sorry..."
"I wonder what her name is....."
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
OOOH GOD please be nice you'll, I'm new to THISSSS GAMEEE.
Anywayyyyy what do guys think? Let me know if I have to improve anything please I'd really appreciate it (*^^*)
P.S.
👁👄👁and I'll make a filler chapter where I talk about reader aka [ Lora 'Lorraine' Durchdenwald] lore when I wake up from my 10 hours of much-needed sleep 😴
byeeeeeeee love you all🫶 (^-^)(^-^)/
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu nanami#nanami kento#collage#jjk fanart#higuruma hiromi#curly hair#green#i dont fucking know#jjk headcanons#college life
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40 | Different
Series: Unexpected
Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: none
| MASTERLIST |
"Dani, there's your best friend." Nick says as Matt enters the gas station.
"I can't stand her." Matt plays around in a serious tone.
"Do you wanna fight in a convent store?" Dani spins around to face him.
"Let's do it outside." Matt heads for the door.
"Someone is moody today." Nick watches him so he turns around to give him a look.
Dani heads outside to see Matt at the gas pump, "So are we fighting out here?" She laughs joining him.
"We don't have an audience yet. It would be no fun."
"Would you let me win our fight?" She smiles batting her eyes at him, "To be nice?"
"Maybe."
Her jaw drops, "Then maybe I won't sleep in your room tonight." She crosses her arms.
"Yeah, right." He opens the driver side door, "Now, get in." He makes her laugh so she gets in the back seat leaning forward.
"I'm serious about sleeping in your room." She lets him know.
"Okay, so that just means I'll go sleep in your room then." He looks back at her.
Her eyes glance down at his lips wanting to kiss him so badly before back to his eyes, "I'll lock my door then." She leans back into the seat.
"I'll just keep knocking till you open the door then." He says so she mocks him. "Your mom and brother come tomorrow, right?"
"Yep, I'm not nervous but I am at the same time. Not because of Gage but my mom. Last time she was here she asked if I liked you and I feel like she'll ask again."
"What did you tell her then?" He asks her as they still wait for the other two.
"I told her I liked you but I'm not risking our friendship." She sighs.
"Then just tell her the same thing again unless you want to tell her."
"No!" Dani basically shouts, "She can't keep a secret of her life depended on it. Me liking you isn't big to her but us together is." Dani explains.
"Then you just tell her the same thing as last time then." He laughs a bit as the other two finally get back to the car.
Back at home Dani went to her room because she was hanging out with Tara in a few hours. They were gonna go out and have a girls night where Dani could get in and still have fun without drinking.
While doing her makeup, Matt walked into her room laying on her bed to see what she was doing since he was bored. As he admired her, he pulled out his phone taking a picture of her. The sound of the camera had Dani turn her body to look at him.
"You look beautiful."
Dani lets out a loud chuckle, "You're so stupid." She turns back around.
"Where do you plan on going?" He asks because she never just does her makeup to sit around the house.
"Tara invited me out. She said I need it. Whatever that means because I still can't drink yet." She laughs.
"What's the dress code?" He asks curious.
"Black." Was all she gives him, "So why don't you leave so I can get dressed in a few minutes?" She gives him a smile.
"Fine, fine, fine." He gets off her bed leaving the room so she could finish.
When she was finished getting ready, she texted Tara and she said she would come by and pick her up to go out.
"I feel a bit uncomfortable going into public dressed like this but Tara said." Dani groans walking up the stairs to join the guys and they all stop what they were doing to look at her.
"Damn Dani. Look at you, girl." Nick applauds her, "You look hot so embrace it."
"Thank you."
"Also don't you do photo shoots is similar things at time?" Chris asks since in the past she complained about an outfit she had to wear once to him.
"Yes, but I wasn't going into a public place when people will stare in person." She explains tugging her dress down a bit.
Matt still hasn't said anything as he kept eyeing her up and down. When he finally realized the other two were noticing he hasn't said anything he speak up, "You could wear black tights with it."
"There was hole in them so I had to throw them out sadly." She rolls her eyes going to take a seat.
Matt could see Chris trying to look at Dani again out of the corner of his eye, so he grabs the blanket next to him tossing onto her which earns him a look from her. "You have cold chills." He lies but she still thanks him.
When Chris excuses himself to use their bathroom for a second, Matt looks at Dani again, "What?" She asks.
"He kept trying to get a look at you. That's why I covered you up." He explains to her.
"And you care?" She tires not to smile.
"You said you feel uncomfortable wearing it so I was helping you."
"Wearing it out in public, Matt. Here I don't care. Plus in the past when we went to the mall he helped me zip up a dress I was having trouble with." She explains to him.
"Excuse me?" He gives her a look, "He's been with you in a dressing room? And helped you?"
"Are you jelly? She pokes at his arm.
"What no. It's just my brother has seen m-, you change clothes."
"For one, he didn't see me change. He only zipped up my dress for me and unzipped it then left the room. And two, you're jelly at the thought." She laughs poking his arm more.
"Of course I'm jealous at the thought of him seeing you change clothes now. Shit is different now." He admits to it.
"If I'm changing in front of anyone it's Nick."
"If not me then yeah." He agrees.
"I haven't even changed in front of you yet." She laughs.
"Well when you're ready." He says to make it clear.
#sam golbach#colby brock#sam and colby#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#oc#sibilings#matt sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo imagine#ff#fanifiction#fanfic#sturniolo fanfic#best friends#friends to lovers#chris sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo fanfic
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could i request a imagine for shigaraki and hawks for a reader who loves to dance? ty!
When You Love To Dance
Yesssss!!!
Fandom: My hero academia
Featuring: shigaraki, hawks, dabi, overhaul x fem reader
SHIGARAKI
He knows you love to dance ever since he met you, but, as you may imagine, that's not really his field of expertise. When you go to events where dancing is common, you usually stay sat. You do it because you want to, and you don't wish to leave him alone, still, he feels bad about it.
A week ago, he asked you to teach him. He said he'd like to dance at least a bit with you when necessary, which obviously had you jumping with joy.
That's what led you here. A week later, on your living room, attempting to learn the basics. This had been the funniest experience for the both of you, at this point you didn't even care if he learned or not, the dancing lessons where enough of a reward.
You laughed loud as he stumped on your foot for the third time, and he pretended to be angry. "Stop!" You yelled while pushing him away from you, however, his feet got caught with the rug and he fell over you. Both of your bodies hit the floor shortly after and minutes went by before you could stop laughing. "I'm done, I don't want to do this anymore." He said, now annoyed, but you could tell he was just embarrassed. "Does that mean you don't like practicing with me?" You asked, making the saddest face you could. He couldn't resist it. "I do! I like it, It's just that I'm really bad at this and-" You cut his desperate babbling off with a kiss. Needless to say, the dancing sessions went on for longer.
HAWKS
Oh Hawks loves dancing as well, and he's fairly decent at it, too. He actually first met you at a party to commemorate heroes. You were there because of a friend and he was one of the stars of the event.
He was talking to a couple of his friends when all of a sudden, he stopped listening to everything they were saying when the most beautiful person he'd ever seen crossed his eyes. You were dancing with your friend and you looked absolutely gorgeous, he couldn't remember the last time he had been so attracted to someone, but here you were.
He had to approach you, and he did. He introduced himself (which wasn't needed) "I saw you from afar, and I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't ask you to dance at least one song with me." He said this as he offered you his hand, however, you looked back at your friend who hadn't come here with anyone else. "Thank you, but I'm good here," you responded with a kind smile, but before the hero could say anything else, your friend kicked you subtly, but hard. "Ouch!" You exclaimed as you turned to her, her face begging you to go with him. "Fine, one song won't make any harm." You told the hero. His face lightened with pure joy, and you definitely did not dance just one song. If he wasn't in love with you before, he totally was by the time the party was over.
Taking this precedent into account, dancing with you brings him great memories, so he loves it as much as you do.
DABI
He's not a dancer. It's not that he's terrible at it, he can surprisingly fend for himself on that field, though he isn't great either. The thing here is that he feels a bit ridiculous when he dances, at least not in public. Unless he's having a big melodramatic moment.
In private, however... He's the kind of man who whines about everything, but he's never ever complained when you approach him to dance in the comfort of your home. He actually likes it that way, he loves having you in his arms, and he enjoys doing anything that you love. Even if he pretends he doesn't.
And he loves to pretend that he's annoyed when you dance, as you do it quite often. Just like now. Dancing all over the kitchen with a bowl full of pancakes batter on your hands. "You'll drop that." He says as he rolls his eyes at you. "Of course not! I know what I'm doing!" You respond with a big smile on your face. "Come on, don't be such a killjoy, you should join me." He looks at you like you just said the dumbest thing ever, which only encourages you to put the bowl down and force your boyfriend to dance with you. He shows resistance at first, but you win him over quite quickly. The frown he had at first, now replaced by a subtle smile. It's just so hard to say no to you.
OVERHAUL
I mean... Define dancer. He isn't great at a club, but he sure is a good dancing partner at a wedding. Slow dancing is more his thing.
He doesn't love it, but he doesn't hate it either. He feels indifferent towards dancing overall, but he does not feel indifferent towards you at all. He'll comply with whatever makes you happy.
Kai had a very busy week. Your birthday was coming and he really wanted to throw you a nice party for your closest friends to attend, the thing is, he struggles a bit to keep it simple, so what was meant to be a tiny reunion, turned into a somewhat big event. He just felt like you deserve everything he can give you.
It had been a lot of work, but he was more than happy to do it. Especially now that he had you in his arms, with a beautiful dress, and the dancing floor under your feet. "Thank you so much, Kai." You say to him before laying a kiss on his lips. "Happy birthday, love. Anything for you." He responds, as he pulls away and places a strand of hair behind your ear. He would've never imagined himself doing this for anyone else, he thinks as he turns you around. He must really love you, right?
Masterlist
#bnha#boku no hero academia#dabi#tomura shigaraki x reader#touya todoroki x reader#overhaul#kai chisaki x reader#hawks#keigo tamaki x reader#bnha imagines#mha#bnha imagine#scenario#lov x reader#league of villains#headcanons#fluff#fic#dabi x reader#keigo takami#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#tomura shiragaki
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sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ - ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ᴛ ʜ ʀ ᴇ ᴇ
m a s t e r l i s t
ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ᴛ ʜ ʀ ᴇ ᴇ
The hours pass painfully slow, I'm almost convinced I've pushed Lando too far away and now he wants nothing to do with me. I know the hospital will be keeping him for observations for a few hours but I did think he would have called me by now. I know I've made him wait weeks to speak to him but I had my reasons. Stepping into the red hot shower I let the water cascade over my body as I come to terms with the crash. I know Lando is okay but seeing him crash the way he did is something I'll never forget, I might have been angry and upset lately but that hasn't stopped me loving him, it doesn't mean I want to see him hurt. Panicking as I hear my phone start to ring I dive out of the shower attempting to wrap the towel around me without falling as I answer the call.
"Adam? Hello! I'm here!" I practically scream into the phone as I nearly miss the call from Adam.
"It's me. Not my dad" Lando's voice is quiet and soft but it doesn't stop the gasp escaping my lips. I know I asked Adam to ask Lando to phone me but I'm kind of shocked he actually has phoned.
"Hi" I don't know what to say. I thought I knew what I had to say to Lando but now he's on the other end of the phone I'm lost for words.
"My dad said he spoke to you after the crash and you wanted me to call you"
"Yeah I did ask him. I thought it was him phoning again" it feels awkward talking to Lando, something I never thought would happen.
"My phone is still in my drivers room or it could be at the hotel now. I did think you might have my number blocked to be honest with you Lucía" I can't lie, it did cross my mind to completely block Lando everywhere but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
"I thought about it but I go through with it. Look Lando I know you didn't expect to hear from me and I have no right to ask for you to call but I just had to hear your voice for myself to know you're okay" hearing Lando at the other end of the phone fills me with so much relief, he might have had to go to hospital but I'm grateful it was nothing too serious.
"I've been hoping every single day that you'd get in touch. I'm okay Lucía, more than okay now I'm speaking to you. I'll be in pain for a few days but it's nothing I can't live through"
"I'm so pleased you're okay Lando" sitting on my bed wrapped in my towel I can't help myself. I start to cry for the second time this morning "I was so scared when you crashed I didn't know what to do. I felt so helpless that I wasn't there. I really thought I was going to lose you in that moment when your car just didn't stop"
"Don't cry baby. I'm made of strong stuff, I'm absolutely fine. I don't want you to worry about me" I don't correct Lando when he calls me baby, truthfully I've missed it. It takes me back to when everything was okay between us.
"I worry every single time that you get in the car. It might be cliché but it made me realise life is too short and nothing is promised, I'm ready to listen to you if you still want to talk" the thought of losing Lando forever absolutely terrifies me. If we don't work out as a couple I would love to still have him in my life in some way or other.
"I want nothing more than to talk to you and explain everything. You deserve the full truth and I'll do it in your time Lucía"
"I know it's in a couple of weeks but can we meet up in Abu Dhabi to talk? I’d rather sit down to talk to you in person about this" I feel like this is a conversation we need to have in person as tough as it might be.
"You're still going?"
"I go every year. I'm not going to change that because of what happened with us. I'll be in the garage with my dad as planned but I'd like to see you one day if you have time" I know race weekends are hectic and I know Lando will be busy but I'd like to think we can see each other for a bit.
"Lucía even if I didn't have time, I'd make time for you. The doctor is coming to see me, can I text you later when I have my phone back?" Lando asks and I think he's unsure of what my response might be.
"Yeah I'd like that Lando" I say my goodbyes to Lando letting him go and speak to the doctor. I feel like I've had a weight lifted off my chest now I've heard his voice. Seeing my mum walk into my room I know by the look on her face she knows I've spoken to Lando "so do you think I'm stupid for needing to hear his voice today and wanting to talk to him?"
"No I don't think you're stupid. I think you're a girl in love with a man who made a stupid mistake but from what I can see, he's trying to put things right" I really need to hear Lando's version of events before I can make my mind up but I can't deny how nice it was to hear his voice "at the end of the day this is your decision to make. No one can decide these things for you"
esmelucia
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esmelucia smiling 'cause I'm about to get some winter sun! Last one of the season, Abu Dhabi LFG 🇦🇪
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user682 first race since Austin and Lando back liking posts does this mean Luando is back on?!
↪️ user399 I'm praying they are! Lando has been so down lately without Lucía
↪️ user928 no one said they broke up
↪️ user682 they didn't need to say it, it was obvious
user953 she's going to Lando's last race of the season I could cry 😭
↪️ user843 she's going for her dad. All you need to do is check her previous posts to see it's a yearly father / daughter trip. She'll be wearing Aston Martin this weekend 100%!
abswilson your comments are wild lol. Miss you already fucker!
↪️ esmelucia I know but entertaining! Miss you my slag!
daniellemitch winter sun ain't all you're going to be getting 🍆💦🐱
↪️ esmelucia okayyy bye. I'm leaving. On a jet plane. Plz don't text 🛎️🔚
I arrive in Abu Dhabi on the Tuesday night, I’m planning to meet Lando Wednesday and my dad has already arrived from Qatar. It’s nice to be back somewhere that always feels so familiar. As long as I can remember I’ve made the effort to be at the last race of the season, even back when I wasn’t old enough to travel alone my mum would always come with me.
Wednesday afternoon comes around all too quickly now I’m stood in my room with a glass of wine following lunch with my dad. I’ve decided it’s best to meet Lando in my room away from any prying eyes or walls with ears. What needs to be said is between us however I don’t feel any less nervous than I would if I was meeting him somewhere public.
Hearing a knock on my door I take a deep breath as I open it to Lando stood in front of me for the first time in weeks. He looks as exhausted as I’ve felt lately. His usually tanned skin is pale, his eyes are sunken and the bags under his eyes are purple. He looks like he hasn’t had a decent night sleep for months.
“Come in” I say opening the door feeling slightly awkward “can I get you a drink or anything?”
“No thank you. You look good Lucía our break up must have done you good” the tone in Lando’s voice tells me he’s not trying to be condescending, he sounds devastated.
“Thank you but we both know it’s a spray tan. I knew cameras would be on me this week so I prepared for it. It’s been the worst couple of weeks I could’ve ever imagined since Austin” sitting on the couch I pull my knees up to my chest resting my chin on them.
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through Lucía. You were the last person I ever wanted to hurt” gesturing towards the other side of the couch I invite Lando to sit down so we can talk.
"This is harder than I thought it would be" I say running my finger around the rim of the wine glass in front of me. I don't want to be drunk when Lando and I talk but I need the one for liquid courage "if we're ever going to move on from what happened I need the truth Lando. No matter how much it might hurt for me to hear it, I want to know everything" I say to Lando. I want to forgive him, I love him but I need the truth, nothing sugarcoated just the truth.
"She had photos of you and Lewis hugging in the paddock and showed them to me. I wasn't bothered by the photos, I know the kind of relationship you have with him but she said she had a friend who was waiting to write an article. An article about you and Lewis"
"I'm confused where this is going. There is no story to write. There has never been a me and Lewis, never has been and never will be. He's like an uncle to me or really annoying older brother" there's nothing to write about me and Lewis, anything they could write would make for a boring read. He's my dad's friend and I have known him forever, there's no more to it.
"We both know that and I tried to explain that to her but the friend was spinning the story in a different direction. They were basically fabricating a story to say you've been in a relationship with Lewis on and off over the years despite the age difference and Lewis knowing you since you were a literal child"
"Okay so what I'm taking from this is that she has basically blackmailed you over a non-story?"
"She said if I kissed her she'd keep everything to herself and not pass anything to her friend. I thought I was protecting you from the fall out of a Lewis story and it turns out I was the one who hurt you most"
"Lando now I'm thinking with a clear head I know where you were coming from. I wish you just told me but I think I understand. We know none of it is true but if she started to spread rumours that I've been with Lewis then I know I'd get called all kinds of names and I dread to think what they'd do to Lewis. He's fifteen years older than me and I've know him since I was probably five years old" squeezing Lando's hand across the couch I know he did this for me "one more question, why did you not just tell me?"
"It happened so quick I didn't have time to process it. My only thought was protecting you" lacing my fingers with Lando's I squeeze his hand tight. All of this could have been avoided.
"Just so you know I'm going to knock her clean out when I see her smug face"
"I wouldn't expect anything else. Can you make sure I'm there to watch when you do? That was some slap you gave me and I'd like to see it happen to someone else rather than being on the receiving end"
"I'm so sorry about that. I saw red and lost control but you did kind of deserve it" I still can't believe I slapped Lando. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.
“I fully deserved it. I had the lasting imprint of your hand for a few hours” Lando says with a laugh and I know he’s not mad at me for slapping him.
“Lando? Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything Lucía. I’m an open book for you”
“Can I give you a cuddle? I saw what you said about not sleeping for 2 days after Brazil and it broke my heart. It made me wish I could’ve been in Monaco with you” after watching the Las Vegas Grand Prix and speaking to Lando I decided to watch the highlights of the races I’d missed. Seeing the way Lando has spoken about himself lately is awful to see as someone who cares so deeply for him.
“Yeah you can. You don’t need to ask. It wasn’t just the race that had me not sleeping. It was both championships but most of all it was knowing I’d truly messed up with you” turning my full body on the couch to face Lando I move closer to him. It feels foreign to be so close to him but at the same time it’s so familiar.
I pull Lando into me his arms instantly wrapping around my waist tightly and his head finding the crook of my neck. I wrap one arm around Lando rubbing gentle circles on his back, the other cradling his head as I run my fingers through his curls. I don’t know how long we sit in this position but I feel Lando’s tears on my neck and hold him tighter. This is a man who loves with his whole heart but gets into his own head that he isn’t good enough when in reality he is good enough, in fact he’s more than good enough. I’ve never known anyone like him.
“I love you Lucía. I know I’ve hurt you but I need you to know I love you” Lando says into my neck not lifting his head.
“I know Lando and I love you too. So much you have no idea. I never stopped loving you and I don’t think I ever will” as Lando lifts his head to look at me I gently wipe the stray tears from under his eyes with the pad of my thumb.
“I really needed that cuddle. Thank you”
“You don’t need to thank me. Just remember whenever you’re feeling down or need to talk I’m here” whether I’m in a relationship with Lando or not, I always want him to know I’m here for him.
“Where does this leave us? Could there still be an us or have I royally fucked that part of my life up?”
“Stop being so hard on yourself Lando. I’ll be honest I don’t know where this leaves us. I need some time to think but I’m not writing anything off yet” I don’t want to say yes to still being with Lando straight away. I know it’s inevitable I’ll end up back with him but I need to process what he’s told me.
“That’s all I ask Lucía. I want to prove myself to you. I’m going to head back, I’ve got a training session with Jon and you know he’ll kill me if I don’t go. Thank you for listening to me” before I get the chance to mumble something other than a quick goodbye Lando kisses the top of my head leaving me stood in the middle of the room as he heads to training. I feel so much better having now seen Lando in person but knowing this all stemmed from one person leaves me no other option. I have to confront the bitch.
#lando norris x oc#lando norris fanfic#lando series#lando smut#lando norris#lando#lando norris smut#formula one fanfiction#formula one smut#formula 1#formula 1 fanfic#formula one#formula 1 smut#f1 smut#formula one fanfic#formula 1 fanfiction#f1 fanfic
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Thanks for your thoughts, and I just have a couple of things:
My post was prompted in part by some anon weirdness in my inbox, and one of those messages tipped me over the edge because it said I couldn't possibly have understood or read the Silmarillion, hence my note at the end.
I wasn't responding to a specific post by a single person on Tumblr, but there was one thread that implied that what Sauron was doing was divine justice (I will add it if I can find it) and based on your reply I doubt that was yours.
I'm also a Tolkien fan and I don't want to discount his body of work, including the letters, but I think TROP, as an adaptation, can be treated as a separate entity because so much is changed and will likely be different, with not just the action and timelines being interpreted differently, but maybe some of the themes as well. I see this adaptation as both honoring and challenging the texts, but it is a new adaptation and a product of individuals who are apt to do new things with it, even if they are legally obligated to follow some prescription with their own work.
And I don't think Tolkien would laugh at fans recognizing the inspiration for his work, whether it was knowing that he was christian or something about his life experiences, and no text exists in a vacuum, but I do think he would at least shake his head at fans trying to pin down his ultimate, final intentions or a strict way to read or adapt it, even with regard to some of the larger themes, because for one thing his works went through many iterations and for some time he was always changing them, and his themes and ideas were always evolving to some degree as well.
Was he very passionate about what he wrote, and would he have strong opinions about the adaptations? Of course, he was the author, and I'm sure he would have a very strong and probably very negative reaction about some or all of the adaptations and how we see them, but he's gone and people will continue to interpret and adapt his work in ways he couldn't imagine and likely wouldn't agree with.
For all we know Tolkien might have had a huge problem with TROP's interpretation of Galadriel, or been somewhat surprised by the fact that some of the elves and dwarves and men are Asian or Black or Brown, or that Annatar's time in Eregion seemed a lot shorter than he implied, or with how the rings were created and used, and so on, but does what he said in every instance always matter, or should it?
I do think any author would be pleased by the way his work is still being read and discussed, even if the people doing it are very different from him, or don't share his background, or haven't made an exhaustive study of his correspondence, but who knows? We don't know, and we can't ask him those questions now, today, or accurately predict how his answers might differ from what he said before.
Thinking about the subtle presence of the powers that be and/or the Valar in Rings of Power, and having thoughts about what part they might play in the adaptation, specifically what we’ve seen so far, and going over how those powers that be might view Sauron and his actions, and every time I think about him in that context I feel somewhat sympathetic .
However, not too sympathetic, given his repeated offenses, to qualify him for redemption or some kind of blanket amnesty, at least not before many, many ages of serious contrition, and given that Sauron is Sauron, well. Is that likely?
There are a few different threads I’ve seen that try to make a case for TROP being all about ultimate forgiveness for Sauron, while condemning the choices and actions of Galadriel, Adar, Celebrimbor, Mirdania, or anyone who gets in his way because those individuals were short-sighted or needy, or were motivated by ego or weakness, and that the Valar were handwaving Sauron’s actions or even using Sauron as some kind of tool for divine justice(!).
Do we really think the Valar are indifferent to the suffering of elves and dwarves and men, to the point that they would condemn them to be tortured to death based on a bad choice, or a personal weakness, or a common character flaw? I don't think they are quite that severe in their judgement, but I do think, being something akin to gods, their seeming lack of presence could be interpreted as indifference, and more than that I think their actions happen on a much different time scale, so any action they take might take most of an age to show any results. And of course there would be a lot of unfortunate collateral damage in the meanwhile.
But do we seriously think this means that they would allow all of the violence and destruction we’ve seen so far just to give Sauron a second (third, fourth, fifth) chance to choose a better path before he’s subdued, just because he's a Maia and that somehow makes him their special boy?
No, and I think the show has shown us that this is not the case.
I think Sauron blew it when we were shown what happened in the season two flashback, when we saw his first days as “Halbrand”. Because it feels like that was his chance, and everything he's done and will continue to do in upcoming seasons will show him going deeper into whatever passes for insanity in demi-gods, with little or no understanding of the fact that his vision of order for Middle-earth is just as much an abomination as Melkor's path of destruction.
And that’s the compelling tragedy of Sauron.
Sadly that will mean more and worse consequences for the peoples of Middle-earth in the short term. But the Valar are not indifferent to this, and based on what we've seen they know Sauron needs to be dealt with. But what proof is there of that?
Well, they sent the Stranger/Gandalf, an Istari, and he has been explicitly put on a path to confront Sauron.
Think about the timing of him falling to earth: Sauron was on the raft with Galadriel, not long after Diarmid(!) was trying to get through to Sauron in the hold of that ship (and its subsequent destruction with Sauron on board was anything but a coincidence).
Of course Gandalf has free will too, and might make some mistakes. But he is a powerful force, who also has a different perspective and can play by different rules if he chooses, but he isn’t indifferent to the suffering of the Harfoots, and won't be indifferent to any pain Sauron causes the other peoples of Middle-earth.
So we're watching the consequences of Sauron blowing his latest chance play out, and ultimately I think we know we’ll see the realization of the Valar's condemnation of Sauron's choices and actions via Gandalf, the emissary they sent to counter him and muster forces to help subdue him. And I think the rings, all of them, will come into play during that struggle.
There’s a lot of underlying stuff about free will and the fact that power corrupts running through TROP and Tolkien in general. Celebrimbor made the Three with good intentions despite the fact that wanting to make them was also about ego and his legacy, but we can’t deny that the Three did the job he made them for, and we’ve seen them used to do good things. But Celebrimbor and Galdariel and Gil-galad and anyone else who comes in contact with the Three still have free will, and any attendant flaws that come with free will, and ultimately any powerful tool can be used for good or ill, and will inspire different things in characters according to their individual strengths and weaknesses.
But I do think the Three are more benevolent tools than any of the other Rings, with the One that Sauron will forge out of desperation being the ultimate corrupted tool that could influence the others. So Elrond or Galadriel or even Gandalf might have a better chance of using one of the Three for good, for protection and preservation for some length of time, whereas contact with someone like Sauron would change them based on his intentions, and his intentions are about gaining enough power to subjugate, well, everyone. In his hands, for instance, Nenya’s tendency toward protection would quickly decay into more overt stagnation, and just like men were drawn into the shadow realm by the Nine and the One, someone like Sauron with ill intent or a long history of general malevolence would gradually feed that into any one of the Three and reap the consequences.
In other words it’s not all about the sword, but who wields it.
I do wonder if we’ll see the Three become somewhat tied to the One in TROP, and if so how that will play out. Going back to the books, eventually the Three do lose their powers but there’s no indication that they were corrupted to the degree that the potential of any of the rings of power could corrupt or be corrupted.
The Three are powerful, and they are sought after, but they are not the Silmarils.
But would one of the Three heal or help Sauron? No, and getting back to the first part of this post, there are no shortcuts on the path to healing and redemption, and Sauron can't see that path at this point, and more than that he doesn't even know he's lost in the woods.
Quick aside because I just got a rude anon ask on the subject: Yes, I’ve read Silm and the other books and a bunch of other stuff, but I don’t treat the Legendarium as if I’m a supplicant who only accepts a literal interpretation of something Tolkien said in a lecture or a letter as something akin to religious doctrine, and I think he would laugh himself into a fit to see fans trying to contradict each other that way, especially given how he felt about the so-called dominion of the author. And given that TROP is going at Silm etc. buffet-style I don’t think we can talk about the show and expect it to adhere too strictly to every line the poor man ever wrote. This doesn't mean I didn't understand Silm, but I am coming at the adaptation mostly as it's own "thing." I hope that makes sense.
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Is it okay to ask what Time And Time Again plot was like? sorry if isn't appropriate
I'm sorry, I don't understand the question!
You're welcome to ask me whatever you'd like about my work
#i don't like asks about my body or my personal life#but asks about my work are always welcome!#ask#anon#if i knew what this meant i would answer but i don't!#also i have a lot of unanswered asks cause i either dont know what to say#or theyre just extremely kind and i dont know how to say thank you#so if your ask went unanswered thats why#or i guess the third option of i dont actually know the answer
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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💌 Check my F.A.Q. , tags, and/or Google before sending a question.
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