#i don't know why there's just a certain joy when you realize something others haven't

[saeist]

what are we? ── bakugo k. (1.4k)⊹ ࣪ ˖ part two

"so.. who here has a secret boyfriend we don't know about?" mina asks the first thing that came to mind not even a minute after this impromptu slumber party that's currently held in yaoyorozu's room

after a long week of training and pro hero studies, you lot decided to why not unwind by having a little sleepover at one of the girls' rooms. yaoyorozu was kind enough to volunteer to hold it in her room as she has never experienced sleepovers with others

you all looked at each other with curiosity. curious if anyone was actually in a committed relationship that the class didn't know about. not like it was their business or anything..

"what? nobody? that's kinda hard to believe.." hagakure comments, genuinely surprised since usually at this age where everyone is in high school, you're bound to get into relationships

"i mean it's like we have the time to mingle around since we're busy with training and on top of that, trying to keep afloat with our academics" tsuyu points out, a finger on her chin as she recalls if anyone actually had free time to spare amidst all the chaos your class has been through

hearing what tsuyu said, mina whines, dramatically flailing her arms around

"ugh i hate that what you said is true, tsuyu-chan.. but what about crushes! do you guys have a crush on anyone in class or anyone in ua?" mina continues to bombard everyone with questions related to romance. to you it almost feels targeted because you're not too sure if she knows something about you

"crushes?" uraraka trails off. all of a sudden she shakes her head vigorously.

"what's wrong uraraka-chan?" tsuyu asks, worried

"oh my god! are you crushing on someone?!" hagakure squeals, "you have someone in mind don't you!"

the girls (minus you, tsuyu and yaoyorozu) start to bombard her with questions

"is it midoriya?!"

"is it iida?!"

"who?!"

"it's nobody!" uraraka defends herself, shaking her hands around. mina pouts but drops the subject.

you didn't even realize that you were holding in your breath til jirou points it out

"what's with the sigh of relief, y/n?" jirou pokes your side jokingly.

wrong move on your part

suddenly there was a certain glint on mina's eyes. like you just walked into her trap

"you haven't said anything since we started talking about crushes, y/n-chan.. anyone in mind?" mina grins mischievously.

"no one" you say abruptly but it turns out your own body betrays you. you can literally feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks

"oh my god she's blushing! WHO! IS IT IN OUR CLASS OR CLASS B? WHO?! WE NEED TO KNOW" hagakure squeals in joy, suddenly clasping your hands together as she shakes you

"it's nobody you guys-"

"i've been meaning to ask, y/n-san.. if there's anything going on between you and bakugo-san" yaoyorozu speaks up for the first time tonight

mina and hagakure both scream in delight

"what makes you say that, yaomomo?" you ask, trying to calm your heartbeat at the mention of the boy you think you're seeing..

you and bakugo had a weird, for lack of better word, "relationship" going on at the moment. one would call it a situationship but you're still not 100% sure if it's even heading to that direction

it all started after the provisional license exams. the same night where he and deku had a brawl at ground beta. right after bakugo and deku got dismissed by aizawa, you bumped into him in the kitchen. obviously scared out of your wits that he was looking all beaten up, you brought him to the nearest bathroom to clean his cuts and bruises

since then you and him had found yourselves in this weird "relationship". sure, he's still the same bakugo you first met during the first day of classes. always brash and rowdy but when it was only the two of you.. he was.. a littler calmer than usual

to others, he was his usual explosive self but when it came to you, his tone would be a little softer. still, it's still rough around the edges but the subtle change is noticeable if you were a close friend of his

overtime, you and bakugo slowly became touchy with each other. there were lingering stares, lingering touches when you two were paired up to spar during training and what not

obviously with this sudden change of attitude towards you, the whole class noticed it. why were you getting treated differently by the king explosion god himself?

and before you even noticed it, you found yourself almost by his side at all times in the dorms. may it be in the kitchen where you're basically his second in command when he was in charge of cooking, in the lounge whenever everyone decides to have a little movie marathon or a little celebration, literally everywhere to the point everyone had made assumptions that you two have something going on

have you guys said anything about your little situation? no

have you guys shared a kiss? maybe

have you guys been caught holding hands? definitely. on multiple occasions

but nobody dared to question it. or else they would've been blown away by boom boom boy himself.

that is until, the girls found an opening which was tonight at yaoyorozu's room, in the middle of your slumber party

"i didn't mean to eavesdrop that one time but i overheard you giving him your notes when he was under house arrest for a few days" yaoyorozu sheepishly admits. she suddenly clasps her hands together and bows as she spews apologies for eavesdropping that one time

and like a domino effect, it seems like all the girls have noticed something about the two of you all along

"that reminds me! when we were practicing for the school festival, one time i saw bakugo teaching y/n how to play drums!" jirou quips

"did you guys notice the look on bakugo's face during the joint training with class 1-b when she got hit by gevaudan?! he was pissed!" uraraka adds

"don't think we didn't notice the look you have on your face whenever bakugo comes home from their remedial classes" hagakure teases

"god i've been dying to know! kirishima keeps telling me that he hears bakugo laughing to himself late at night at times now it's all clicking!" mina gushes

all this time you thought you and bakugo hid it well. then again it's like you two even had the chance to properly talk about whatever you two have going on

"so what do you have to say for yourself, y/n-chan? or cat got your tongue?" mina teases, nudging your shoulder

all the girls lean forward, awaiting for your answer

"... we're friends- yeah that's right! we're just friends you guys" you say awkwardly, scratching the back of your head as a nervous habit to top it all off

mina and hagakure don't buy it

"that's not very nice of you to deny your boyfriend like that" mina teases, poking you multiple times in hopes you break (you almost do)

not wanting to say anything else that could potentially jinx whatever you have going on with the blonde, you shrug. it might be a little embarrassing on your end to admit that you and the infamous bakugo katsuki were in a little dilemma you call a situationship

sensing that you weren't gonna budge anytime soon, mina moves on with the subject. talking about what quirks they wished they have from the class

you took this time to pull out your phone and send a little update to your.. friend

[9:24PM] you: so the girls asked me if i had a boyfriend.. [9:24PM] kitkats: and what did u say?? [9:25PM] you: i said no lol cus i dont have one [9:26PM] kitkats: ?? [9:26PM] kitkats: so am i just an arm accessory now or?

right before you were able to reply back, mina snatches your phone from your hands.

"no texting during the slumber party!" she yells, before taking a peek at who you're messaging

"give it back, mina!" you scream, trying to get your phone back to prevent her from reading what seems to be a new message from bakugo

"oh my god it's bakugo! wait let me send him a pic so he won't disturb our party" she squeals, taking a quick selfie of everyone with you looking all stressed out

"and.. sent!" she smiles proudly. after what seems like torture (it was only a few seconds) mina tosses your phone back to your hands before continuing on whatever you guys were talking about

not even a minute later, bakugo replies

[9:30PM] kitkats: raccoon eyes you better not set yn up with someone else when im literally right fuckin' here

[joka13]

FANFICTION: Weasley Twins x Reader (Slytherin Girl) - Part 29

WARNINGS: none

You don't go to your next class and instead head to the library. You pull a random book off the shelf, sit down at an unoccupied table, and start reading. You've always found comfort in the pages of a book no matter the issue, so it comes as a surprise when tears begin to blur your vision. You quickly hide behind your book, propping it up vertically on the tabletop.

You silently cry, and you wonder why. You know for certain that you're afraid of what Professor Umbridge might do to you during your detention, but that's not all. There's something else that's been bubbling up inside you for a long time, and it suddenly dawns on you that it has to do with Fred and George.

You realize that, ever since you met the Weasley twins, your school life has not been easy. You're always having to look over your shoulder to be sure that a teacher isn't watching you too closely. Your grades are dropping fast. You're getting detention. You lost your best friend to your enemy. All of these bad things have occurred and you know it'll only get worse if you continue to stay with the twins... Yet you feel that what you've gained throughout all of this completely outweighs your amount of loss.

The tears stop falling as you think of them: Fred and George. They make you feel happy. They make you more than happy; they make you free. When you're with them, you don't have a care in the world other than to make them feel as happy as you are. Before you met the twins, all you were concerned about was school, getting good grades, earning the respect of the professors, and whatnot. All of those are fine things, but... isn't this wonderful feeling worth so much more?

It is, you tell yourself, and you haven't been so sure of anything ever in your life.

You then remember the unexpected boldness that had driven you to almost telling Fred and George that you loved them. (You would have if old Umbridge hadn't spoiled the moment.) That boldness returns now as you relish the certainty of your genuine love for the Weasley twins. You quickly stand up, disturbing the silence of the library as the legs of your chair drag on the floor. The abrupt movement knocks the book you'd been pretending to read off the table. (Typically, you hold a much higher respect for texts of knowledge and would never dream of treating one so poorly, but right now you've got your mind totally set on something else.) Even if the truth is so obvious it'll sound silly when you do, you're going to profess your love for Fred and George as soon as possible!

You leave the book and rush to the library's exit. You're practically bouncing with joy and excitement as the words you plan to say to the twins form in your mind. Right as you come to the doorway, you smack into someone entering, sending you both to the floor.

"Y/l/n!" Malfoy's voice growls. Your happy emotions quickly give way to ones of hatred as you look up to see him getting back to his feet.

"Sorry," you mumble out of habit, then wish you could take it back.

"I ought to tell Professor Umbridge about your reckless behavior. You could have injured me," Malfoy sneers as you stand up.

You snort. "Oh, please. Don't be such a milksop."

"You won't be calling me such things once I get you in detention," Malfoy retorts.

You roll your eyes. "Don't bother. I've already got detention scheduled with the pink toad."

"Well, then," Malfoy says, grinning wickedly. "If that doesn't turn out to be enough punishment, I'll just have to wait to make my complaints until after she's become headmistress. Then she could do some real damage."

You raise an eyebrow in mild surprise at this. "What? Why would she ever be made headmistress? If anything happened to Dumbledore, I'm sure Professor McGonagall would be his replacement."

"But something has already happened to Dumbledore." Malfoy brushes past you, lingering too long when your shoulders touch. Your immediate desire is to move away, but now you're curious to hear what Malfoy has to say. "He's gone mad, you know," he half whispers into your ear. "And the Ministry of Magic will soon be wanting to make a... permanent statement about it."

Malfoy's words linger long after you leave the library. Though it's a bit early for dinner (not that you'll be around for when they serve it), you head down to the Great Hall, not wanting to be anywhere near Malfoy. You have a seat by yourself at the far end of the regular Slytherin table in hopes that no one will attempt conversation with you while you think.

Is what Malfoy implied really a possibility? You were upset about Umbridge's educational decrees when they first began making their appearances but also grateful that she didn't have any more power than that. She doesn't have the power... but the Ministry of Magic surely does. Could they really be so set on taking Dumbledore down if only for the sake of the students? Or is there more to it? If they truly cared about the education of Hogwarts' students, they wouldn't have sent someone like Umbridge to "put things in order". What you've read in the paper makes you think that the Ministry just doesn't want people to worry about You-Know-Who... Dumbledore's a very influential wizard, which is why they would need to hurt his reputation if he was wrong. But he's not, and, as far as you can tell, about one third of the public knows it, so the Ministry still has a good amount of opinions to win over... Is this the "something" that Maddy warned you about? Or would it only be the beginning...?

You aren't prepared for it when the intimidating dong of the clock tower lets you know the time: five o'clock.

You scramble off the bench and run as fast as you can through the halls and up the stairs, dodging students and faculty as you go. You'd hate to make Umbridge anymore upset with you by being late.

You reach the third floor, winded and panting heavily. For the first time, as you approach the door leading to Umbridge's office, true anxiety takes hold of you when you really imagine the situation that you're about to put yourself in. You feel sick. Every step closer to the door decorated with an ugly pink bow seems like an eternity, and you want to turn and run.

But you're a good student. You've always obeyed your professors because it's always been for your own good... Is this for your good? You extend a shaky hand toward the door handle...

TAG LIST: @tomhockstetter7-111 @jasm-1ne @costheticbabe @luthien-elvenia-asher @megablonde22 @thecuteavocado @weasleylady92 @websfromallthespiders @rubyintheforest @weasleylover4eva @georgeweasleyslostearhq @im-coolrat @them-cute-boys @xmadigurlx @keirasinbin

[onesaltyerik]

I haven't slept (shocker I know, the insomniac hasn't slept? madness) so yall are getting a ramble of my sort of queer sort of trans awakening (or the closest to it that little me had before understanding those terms) and surprise, it's not Mulan.

So. Little me. They were a weird kiddo. Parent's never discouraged or encouraged their outfit choices or names or pronouns (until I came out officially) but their school did. (hee hoo culty private school run by a religious group) Poor kid always got told "why can't you be more polite for a girl your age?" "why can't you be more girly?" "that's not appropriate for a girl" etc... by their peers and teachers and such. And while parents didn't discourage or encourage certain outfits, the occasional "you have all these cute dresses, don't you want to wear one?" didn't exactly help. Little me never really got along well with the girls their age, had maybe one or two close friends who were girls, the rest were boys. Little me thought at the time it was because "girls were boring" and (insert other horrendously misogynistic ways of thinking about girls) when really, little me just related better to the guys for some reason. (Huh, wonder why.) Anywho, little me's trans realization, or at least the closest they could get to one at the time, was NOT Mulan. I've heard others say it was theirs and while yeah I can see it, little me just went "ah, yeah that makes sense, girls can do that too, she's cool" and didn't really process it beyound that other than "I'm doing that too." Nah Little Me's trans realization was Treasure Island. All iterations of it. Particularly Treasure Planet. Little Me read the book, watched the early live action films, adored the Muppets version of the story. Little Me saw Jim Hawkins and immediately latched onto that character, whenever playing pretend or some iteration of "pirates", I was ALWAYS the cabin boy. Running around, doing chores around the ship, helping the cook, transporting gunpowder, listening in on plots of mutiny deciding when or if I should report it to the captain, engaging in sword fights against my pirate mentor and being torn between who to trust. The works. But Treasure Planet. Ya boi saw that iteration of Jim Hawkins and something clicked. That feeling of being different and not understanding why the world didn't like you, wanting some aspect of freedom but not fully knowing why or even what that freedom was you were reaching for, feeling abandoned by the adults in your life who on one hand loved and cared for you but on the other just did not understand you, all while not even understanding yourself, wanting to escape from it all in some grand attempt at proving you were...something...someone...not fully able to grasp what that was but wanting it all the same, finding that sudden rush of joy at being able to express yourself and feel free to make your own path in life, ya know, Jim.

So yeah, Disney's Mulan did not "push some woke, trans agenda" onto my young little brain. But Treasure Planet and all iterations of Treasure Island sure did lol.

Anywho, I'm gonna go listen to Still Here again.

[jenanigans1207]

any advice for imposter syndrome while writing fic? i know i’m writing for myself at the end of the day, and i do love the idea of posting on ao3 but i feel like nothing i write will ever be good enough to post 😭

So, I'll be honest here in saying that imposter syndrome is a bitch and also doesn't listen a lot to reason.

That being said, for me, I usually try to spend a lot of time reasoning with it and then I force myself to do it anyways. I know that people love reading multiple fics with the same trope, so I shouldn't feel bad about writing a common idea. I know that different writing styles are what bring life to a fic and set it apart from every other fic. I know that I love reading different writing styles, different takes on characters. So why wouldn't other people feel the same? I know that there's always room for improvement, and I can't beat myself up for realizing that I may write this fic differently if I were to sit with the idea and write it some time in the future.

It's a lot of knowing and that knowing comes from a lot of experience on being on the other side of the fic-- being the reader. Like I said, I love seeing different takes on the same characters, seeing people place different reasoning behind the same actions, or give different repercussions to something. It's interesting, it keeps me invested, i love to see it. I love certain tropes (mutual pining, anyone?) to the point that I will read damn near anything with those tropes/tags so I'm thrilled beyond belief when someone new provides me with another fic that I know I'll enjoy. I don't sit there and go "another one?" I get excited for more content that I love.

It's also a lot of knowing that comes from experience as the writer. I will die on the hill that is the fact that we will always be harsher on our own work than anyone else. And that we can't really appreciate how our work will come across to others because we're so close to it. It's hard to see it as something other than a compilation of sentences that you had to struggle through. It's hard to read a sentence that has a word you're not quite satisfied with and think of the impact of the sentence instead of what the fuck is the word I'm trying to remember? I've written enough in my life to know that those things don't ever go away, as much as I'd love to tell you they do. But it does mean that other people won't think of my writing as negatively as I do because they have fresh eyes and no previous association to what they're reading. We don't have that luxury, so it's hard for us to see.

But no matter how much I know these things, no matter how much i experience them from both sides of the fic-- I still have to hype myself up sometimes to post, too. And yeah, sometimes I go "what's the worst that could happen?" and that's enough to give me the guts. Sometimes I remind myself that people haven't liked my writing before and I've survived, so I'd survive if it happened again.

But I will tell you this-- there is nothing more rewarding that someone leaving you a comment about how much something you wrote touched them. While I am a firm believer that we write for ourselves, there is no denying the connection that is made between writer and reader, and there's no denying the impact on the author when a reader is touched by their work. It's this sort of breathtaking feeling, knowing that you poured some of your heart into something and someone found value in that.

I have read many fics that have pulled me out of dark places in my life and given me a reason to get up every new day. And the knowledge that something I wrote might be that for someone else is often enough for me. Even if one person finds joy in what I wrote, it's worth putting it out there. We write for ourselves, sure, but we share it for other people.

And I don't really know if this is helpful at all or just a lot of rambling. But I guess if I had to summarize, I'd say this: imposter syndrome sucks and doesn't listen to reason. Try to reason with it anyways. Remind it that people want this. Hell, talk to your friends about what you're writing so they can want it first! Having someone close to you, someone trusted share your enthusiasm goes a long way. I've only scraped to the end of projects because of my friends many times in the past. So reason with it. Remind it that people want this, that people will enjoy it. Let people in your life tell you that they want it and enjoy it. Remind yourself the benefit that fic has had in your life and then tell yourself that you'll be giving that same benefit to someone else's life. Think of the rewarding feeling of people loving what you write. Remind yourself that the internet is kinder to you than you are to yourself (hard to believe, I know).

And if all of that fails, say that it's perfectly fine to be scared and just choose to do it scared. In my experience, the first time is always the hardest. So close your eyes and press post and know that it gets easier from there, every single time you do it. And allow the world to help you fight that imposter syndrome.

Your work will improve your fandom. It will provide happiness. It will fulfill people, get people to talk about it, share it, reread it when they're having a bad day. This isn't speculation. I am absolutely certain of it. No fandom gets worse with more content made lovingly. So write it for yourself, and then post it for other people and know that it get easier and that it's worth it.

[broodsys]

been a long time since I've felt like I HAD to write something, but I rly connected with Nessa's playthrough and I'm still kinda reeling even tho I knew what was coming. so, there's this, taking place immediately after the end of the main game. hopefully the formatting isn't fucked bc I'm on my phone and not using the app, but we'll see

They had won. It seemed an impossibility, yet here they were, celebration reaching all corners of Skyhold. She was happy, thrilled even, that Corypheus was gone, that the sky was mended, that she and her friends were no longer at risk.

The impromptu party Josephine had thrown was great fun.

Still, she felt hollow. He should be here.

When she slept that night, she expected to find him in the Fade. He had promised that all would be made clear. Instead, she fought Corypheus again. Instead, he left her again. Instead, she saw herself without her Vallaslin. Despite everything, she was relieved when she woke and saw the familiar markings on her face.

She knew she needed to remain strong, to not let her people see how torn she was, but it was hard. She kept remembering holding his hand, the simple joy she'd felt, the sense that he was finally acknowledging their relationship in truth. Instead, it had been the start of the end. A thin comfort before the storm.

Things had faded since that conversation, as though she was observing her life at a remove. She tried to hide it. She thought she had managed.

"Inquisitor, a word?" She was on the battlements, looking at the mountains, distracted enough that she hadn't heard Leliana approach.

"Of course. What is it?"

"I do not mean to be untoward, but…" She was confused as Leliana approached her, stunned as the other woman's arms wrapped around her. "Those who care about you can see your suffering. I am so sorry, my lady."

Nessa hesitated, momentarily uncertain, before returning the embrace. No one touched her casually - first, she had been seen as a criminal; next, touched by Andraste. Finally, she had become the Inquisitor. People don't just hug the leader of the Inquisition.

She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it until she realized she was crying, uncertain how much was despair and how much was relief. Leliana still did not pull away.

"I loved him. I- I don't know why he left." The words were pressed against Leliana's shoulder, thin and private, still catching in her throat. The tears were hot on her face.

"Nor I. I wish I could have found him for you."

"He does not wish it." These words were even smaller, as though to say it risked making it real. But she knew it was real. It was all real - the love and the pain. The hollow he'd left behind. Finally she pulled away, wiping her face, certain she looked a mess. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to…" She gestured weakly at her face, her tears. Leliana's smile was soft, warm. So genuine it took Nessa by surprise.

"Think nothing of it, my lady. My friend. You may lead the armies of the faithful, you may have sealed the Breach, but you are still a person. Those who care about you have not forgotten this."

Gratitude swelled in her as she turned back to the mountains, letting the cold breeze hit her tears and chill her. A sensation stronger than her grief, at least for the moment. "We walked together, the night before we faced Corypheus. I haven't told anyone…" Leliana came to stand by her side, also looking out at the mountains. Trying to make this moment easier for Nessa, she knew. "He told me about the Vallaslin, our markings. Corypheus spoke of it, too." She took a deep breath - this pained her as much as his flight. "They are the marks of a slave." Leliana, so often calm and in control, gasped and turned to stare at her. Nessa continued to look out. She needed to say it. "Long ago, owners used the Vallaslin to mark their slaves. They do represent our Gods, but… they are not as the Dalish thought."

"That's… that's horrible, I had no idea. Solas told you this?" Nessa nodded, new tears hot in her eyes but cold as they slipped down her cheeks.

"He offered to remove mine. But, I couldn't… no matter what they were, what they meant, they have meaning to my People now. It was an honor to receive my Vallaslin. He accepted my answer, he seemed to respect it, but…" Leliana put a gentle hand on her shoulder, a small touch that grounded her, helped her finish the thought that she hadn't dared articulate even to herself. "... what if it is why he left? What if he couldn't stand knowing I kept myself marked as a slave? What if he couldn't understand that it meant something to me as a Dalish, regardless of what it had meant in Arlathan?"

"My lady… I cannot speak for him, he always has been a mystery, but one thing I will say: he has never seemed to say something he does not mean. I do not think his acceptance of your decision a lie, although I can no more explain his flight than can you." It was a comfort to hear, because the words rang true. He was not one to lie - to avoid answering questions, certainly, but not to make his answers explicit lies. It helped, a little, to be reminded of this.

"I know he wanted the orb preserved. I saw that he mourned its destruction. But he left me before the fight, before it had been broken… I know it hurt him, that much was obvious." She shook her head, armor jangling slightly. She used to wear leathers. After their conversation she had switched to scalemail. She was still getting used to the sound, the weight of it, but the difference helped keep her in the moment. "He said all would be clear after the battle. Perhaps, at the time, he meant it. But nothing is clear." She finally turned to look at Leliana. The other woman had changed so much… when they'd first met, Nessa had been more than a little afraid of her. More afraid of her than of Cassandra, even. The longer they'd worked together the more she'd grown to trust her, although Leliana's willingness to go so far still scared her somewhat. But now the other woman had… softened. She'd found herself again. She still did what was needed, but no longer sought violence as a means in and of itself. "Except that I belong here, with all of you. Thank you for coming here, for listening. It means… more than I can say." Leliana's smile was so warm.

"You did the same for me, my friend." So simple, but the second time she'd called Nessa friend. A warm sentiment, a balm on the raw edges of her pain and grief. Leliana left her to her solitude, but she felt lighter. Her grief would keep, she knew, but she still had her Clan, still had her Vallaslin, and she still had her… family, here. She would live despite her grief. She would live. And in time, she would thrive.

For now, she left the mountains to their solitude and went back to the main hall. She no longer wanted to be alone.

[mfmilligan]

Update: I'm Still Here

Hey, guys! I should have said something about this sooner, but there won't be any In the Midst this week. It seems June's problems are still affecting me early on in July. But I thought I'd take this opportunity to talk about it.

There's been a couple things bringing me down. One of them is the wave of book bans/censorship that's been spreading the last 3 years. Thankfully, I don't live in Texas, Missouri, or Florida (or any of the states that are passing heavy legislation restricting books and potentially criminalizing librarians/library staff). But that doesn't mean that everything's 100% fine where I am. Both as a library worker and as a writer, freedom of expression and freedom of access to information are important to me. And while my time as a library worker began with the start of the new wave of censorship, this year of all years has really worn me down. Maybe because I'm too hypervigilant with censorship news. Maybe because I worry that the Fahrenheit 451 reality of Florida could be nationwide one day. And maybe I shouldn't worry so much - after all, there are individuals and organizations out there fighting against all this (and the majority of the U.S. doesn't support book bans). But that leads into my next problem.

I'm coming to realize that I'm holding onto far too much anxiety. And a lot of that anxiety has deep roots in my past. I'm conflict-averse for a reason and while I won't go in-depth as to why, I will say that much of how I worry/why I worry stems a lot from certain experiences/individuals that negatively impacted my life. Worrying so much may have protected me and helped me protect others in the past, but it's ruining me now. Thankfully, I will be working through this with my therapist. However, the past couple weeks (to say nothing of the whole month of June) haven't been easy. Many days, I have to dig deep in myself to write. Sometimes getting out of bed is a huge task by itself. And this hasn't just been impacting my writing. It's impacted my reading, my Korean studies, reaching out to friends/family, anything and everything that would make me feel better about life. I have a stack of books that I've kept by me for the past 5 days and I've wanted so badly to read them! But if any of you know the overwhelming numbness & hopelessness that can come with depressive states, you know how hard it can be to do even the simplest things (even if you know they'd help you or bring you joy).

I'm doing what I can, though, to keep doing a little bit every day. Telling stories matters so much to me. Even when I'm not physically writing, my brain is almost always turning over the next story idea or developing an older one. Stories are in my blood and I keep coming back to them, no matter how much life sucks or how much I hurt. And sharing some of what I do on Tumblr and connecting with you all has been one of the best things that has happened this year.

All this to say that, even though I have no In the Midst and no other stories to share on Tumblr this week, I'm still here. Even though life is really hard for me right now, I'm still writing.

And if anyone else has been struggling lately, just know you're not alone. It's difficult enough to deal with hard things as a human being - it can feel doubly hard when you're a writer/creative and those hard things get in the way of creating, the very act that speaks to your soul. I'm rooting for you, and I believe who you are and what you create makes the world a much more interesting place.

There will be new In the Midst next week - I know I left things on a bit of a cliffhanger last time, and I wouldn't dream of keeping you waiting too long to know what happens next! And over the rest of the summer, I will be looking at sharing other short stories here.

Happy writing, everyone - remember to take care of yourselves.

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ivy Chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Morganatic Idol belongs to Cybird and ABC Frontier, Inc.

The day after the re-presentation.

When I went to the living room to get ready for work, exe was just about to leave for work.

The other members were already gone, and Ivy-san, who was the last to leave the room, noticed me and smiled.

Ivy: Morning, Rina-chan.

Rina: Good morning.

Ivy: ... Huh?

As he approached, Ivy-san touched my cheek.

Rina: Ah, Ivy-san?

Ivy: You look a little pale. Haven't you slept much?

Rina: Oh, that's ...

... Last night, he and I had a chance to be together. I couldn't sleep because I was so nervous when I remembered that.

When I honestly told him that, he smiled blankly.

Ivy: Oh, I see. ... I thought something had happened.

Ivy: But it's the same for me. Your words made me so happy that I remembered them over and over again.

Rina: Ivy-san ...

Ivy: ... I have to go. I'll call you later. See you.

Rina: Y-yes. See you later.

He patted my head, and left the room.

... His demeanor wasn't only gentle but also sweet, which was clearly different from his previous behaviour.

(I really have a chance to be in love with Ivy-san ...)

Joy fills me with a sense of realization.

(I'm so happy that my re-presentation was a success ...)

I went to work feeling happy, but ... I soon regained my composure.

Yamauchi Kota: Kawanaga-san! Why didn't you reply!?

Yamauchi-san rushed up to me and looked at me in dissatisfaction.

Rina: How ... did you know my contact information? I didn't tell you.

Yamauchi Kota: I asked Mori-san. I told her I had a job offer for you.

(You mean you lied to get it out of her?)

Rina: Please don't do that.

I said this out loud, feeling a sense of discomfort welling up inside me.

Yamauchi Kota: Eh ...

Rina: If you want to talk about work, ask me during work. Please don't send me any more messages.

At that moment, I received a message on my phone.

(! Maybe from Ivy-san.)

Yamauchi Kota: K-kawanaga-san. I'm ...!

Rina: I'm sorry. Excuse me.

I walked past Yamauchi-san and headed for my desk.

When I checked my phone, the message was indeed from Ivy-san.

[I'll be back at the condo early today.]

[I need your help gathering materials for work. What time do you think you can get home?]

... The image of his face came to my mind, and my surging heart calmed down.

[I don't have to work overtime today, so I'll be able to go home on time.]

I received a reply immediately.

[Got it. Good luck for your work today.]

Even casual exchanges such as this one make me smile.

(I can't wait to see you ...)

... By the time I finished messaging with him, I no longer cared about the discomfort I had felt just before.

Yamauchi Kota: ...

After that, I finished my work on time as scheduled and left the company.

However, as I was walking toward the station, I felt a strange presence behind me.

When I quietly checked, I saw Yamauchi-san following me at a certain distance.

(Did he follow me from the office?)

The moment I realized that, a chill ran down my spine.

(I'm scared ..)

His incomprehensible behaviour filled me with an indescribable unease.

(What should I do? I can't go back to the apartment.)

He would know where I live, and above all, I must keep it a secret that I'm living with exe.

(It can't be helped, I'll take the long way around. I hope it works ...)

... I held back the fear that welled up inside me and started walking in a different direction from the station I usually use.

Ivy: ... She's late. You said you'd be home on time.

With this in mind, Ivy launched the location sharing app.

Ivy: ... are you on a different train than usual? Are you stopping somewhere ...?

Ivy: Rina-chan ... is something wrong with you ...?

... It was already quite late because I had been running around trying to shake off Yamauchi-san.

(I guess he's not here anymore. I'm glad I was able to lose him successfully ...!)

I almost collapse from exhaustion.

(It's well past 10pm. Ivy-san must be tired from waiting. I need to go home soon.)

But ... just as I was about to head to the apartment ...

Yamauchi Kota: Kawanaga-san.

Rina: !?

The voice coming from right behind me made my heart skip a beat.

Rina: Ya-yamauchi-san ...

I turned around and saw Yamauchi-san standing unexpectedly close to me.

(I thought he was gone already ...!)

There was a thick, obsessive look in his eyes he had fixed on me.

I don't know why he looks at me like this.

Yamauchi Kota: You finally turned around ... why are you ignoring me? You knew.

Yamauchi Kota: Don't run away from me. I just want to talk to you.

Rina: W-what are you doing?

My voice trembled with fear. I wanted to escape, but my legs were too weak to move.

Rina: Please don't follow me. How could you do this to me ...

... At that moment, he opened his eyes wide and cried out.

Yamauchi Kota: It's your fault!

Rina: Eh!?

Yamauchi Kota: Why are you trying to get away from me!? You know how I feel about you, don't you!?

(What are you talking about!? I'm scared ...!)

I had to escape. I ran forward on shaky legs, but within a few shaky steps, I was grabbed by the arm.

Rina: No!

Yamauchi Kota: Don't run away!

The arms pulling me closer to him gave me goosebumps.

Rina: Let go of me!

I swung my arms desperately to escape, and a fierce scramble ensued.

Yamauchi Kota: Why do you hate me so much!? You're always so nice to other guys, but you think I'm stupid ...!?

He was furious and pushed me away.

Rina: Aah!

The force of his oush caused my body to stagger and I fell over onto the roadway.

The lights of the cars coming toward me with their horns blaring burned my eyes.

(I will be killed ...!!)

... At that moment, a large hand grabbed my arm and pulled me up strongly.

Ivy: Rina-chan!!

With the same momentum, he hugged me tightly. Right after that, a blaring car was driving by.

Ivy: Are you okay!?

It was Ivy-san who saved me just in time, just before I was about to be run over by a car.

Rina: Ah, Ivy-san ...

Rina: I ...

Shocked and relieved, I relaxed ... and clung to his chest.

Ivy: I know you were scared. It's all right now, everything's okay ...

He wrapped me in his arms.

And ...

Ivy: Do you ... do you know what you've done?

Ivy-san turned his angry dragon-like eyes towords Yamauchi-san, who was standing frozen next to us.

Yamauchi Kota: No, no, it wasn't my fault! If she'd behaved herself ... I wouldn't have done what I did!

Yamauchi Kota: It's all her fault!

Rina: !

Yamauchi-san was extremely distraught and accused me.

Yamauchi Kota: Because she ignores me! I was the only one who was nice to her when the rest of the colleagues at work were shunning her!

Yamauchi Kota: I'm the one who took pity on you and supported you because you had no place in the company!

Yamauchi Kota: You told me that your contract was terminated, and I consoled you! And you turned me down ...!

... I'm struck by the words of obsession and anger.

(I can't believe he thought that ...)

Ivy: Shut up, that's enough.

However, Ivy-san interrupted him.

Ivy: That's your fantasy. Don't force your selfish thoughts on her.

I could see that Yamauchi-san was taken aback by the overwhelming force.

Ivy: This isn't a girl you should touch.

Yamauchi Kota: ...

Ivy: Go away and never come near her again ... or I won't forgive you.

... His voice was chillingly cold and filled with an anger I had never heard before.

Yamauchi Kota: ... shit!

... Perhaps in fear, Yamauchi-san fled the scene.

Ivy: ...

Ivy-san silently glanced down at me in his arms to make sure I was okay. Then ...

Ivy: Rina-chan ... thank goodness ...!

He twisted his face and pulled me even closer into his arms.

(Ivy-san ...)

I was hugged with so much force that it hurt ... and noticed how his body was trembling.

Rina: I'm sorry. Thank you so much, Ivy-san ...

... I could only apologize.

... Afterwards, I received treatment from him in my room.

Although nothing serious, I had sustained minor injuries when I fell down after the collision.

Ivy: I got home late, so I checked the app and saw that you were acting strangely ... I thought something was wrong, so I rushed over.

Ivy: What the hell happened? How long has he been following you?

Ivy: And what was that about the contract termination? ... Tell me everything.

I could no longer afoord to feel bad about it ...

Rina: Actually ...

I received numerous messages from Yamauchi-san, to whom I hadn't given my contact information.

And that my contract at the company was terminated ...

When I told Ivy-san everything, he looked grim.

Ivy: ... Why didn't you tell me?

Unable to bear the accusing gaze, I find myself becoming frightened.

Rina: I didn't want anyone to misunderstand my situation with Yamauchi-san.

Rina: And I didn't want to worry you when you were going through such a hard time ...

(But that's why we ended up like this ...)

Rina: I'm really sorry ...

Ivy-san let out a deep sigh and wrapped his hands around my own.

Ivy: What do you think would have happened if I had gotten there too late?

Unlike usual, his palms were extremely cold. I looked up to see him staring at me with a tearful face.

Ivy: When I saw you lying in the driveway, I thought my heart would stop ...

He hugged me tightly.

Ivy: I don't want to lose you ...!

The arms that clung to me were different from the usual Ivy-san who protected and reassured me.

Ivy: Don't go anywhere ... don't leave my side. You promised, remember?*

Rina: Ivy-san ...?

I had never seen him like this before. I could see how much it had worried him.

While I feel sorry for him ... I am also glad for his deep feelings.

(I can't believe you're this worried about me ...)

Rina: ... I'm not going anywhere. I will always stay by your side, Ivy-san.

Rina: This time, I mean my promise ...

Ivy: ... Rina-chan.

I promised again and hugged him back with the strong feeling that welled up in me ...

Note: Thank you Ivy for giving me a chance to quip in again. First of all, dead eyes Ivy is back again.

Second of all, since I had already played chapter 19 when I translated chapter 18, I knew the location sharing app would come in handy. It's still extreme but it actually saved Rina's life though she probably wouldn't have been in this situation if she had just talked to Ivy. Anyway, I can understand why he's angry even though he's victim blaming her here. But definitely not as extreme as Yamauchi. This man is absolute scum.

⤷ next chapter

[zoeykallus]

Hi! I really like your Bad Batch headcanons and was wondering if you could do one where the reader is a surviving Jedi from Order 66 and is on edge about the clones while the Bad Batch try to convince them to trust them again (or anything around those lines!). Thank you!

You know I've been wondering about a scenario like this before. Thanks for giving me a reason to dive into it :))

The Bad Batch x Reader HC's - Regain Trust After Order 66

Warnings: Could Be Angsty and Hurty... but fluffy too

Not yet proof read

Hunter

He can't believe it. He sees you, he knows who you are. There has been a certain tension between the two of you before, but it has been romantic in nature. You two had harbored feelings for each other without acting on it.

But now the tension he senses is your fear. You look exhausted and broken. Hunter knows, you must have been through hell after all that happened during and after order 66.

"Y/N?"

His voice is soft and careful, so is his gaze. But you don't know if you can trust him.

"Hunter", you say quietly, barely above a whisper.

He smiles very softly, a glint in his eyes. It's happyness about seeing you again. When you open your mind to the force, you can feel it. What he shows is what he feels. In fact you can feel that he is close to just wrap his arms around you and hug you, hold you tight.

Hunter is so glad to see you again and his feelings are so vibrant in the force it sweps you along with him. Close to tears of relieve and joy you downright fall into his arms.

A hell lot of tension is coming to the surface and disolves in your shaking, crying body. He holds you close saying softly, "You are safe now. I'll keep you safe"

Echo

At first glance, he is not at all sure he really sees what he thinks he sees. It's hard to believe this is really you. He never would have thought to ever see you again. Echo feels relieve and happyness, he's almost close to tears. It's so good to see you alive.

But you are tense, you flinch back when he comes closer. You are almost acting like a trapped animal. Echo realizes, he is a clone. You never saw him since order 66, you haven't even seen him after the citadel. Maybe you didn't even know he was alive.

"Y/N, it's me, Echo. I know I um... look kinda different, but it's me"

You blink. Your chest rises and falls heavy with every breath.

"Echo?"

He nods with a little smile.

"What happened to you?"

Echo chuckles a little nervously.

"That's a long story. I'd love to tell you, maybe over something to eat and drink. You look like you hadn't been doing so well lately"

You scoff but smile. It's good to see Echo, even now in his changed state. You two had always been close in a way. There has always been some sort of connection.

"That's an understatement", you admit and finally let him come closer.

As you close your arms around his shoulders, he whispers, "It's so good to see you again"

Wrecker

He has to hold back, he almost blurts out your name in public as he sees you sneak through a crowd on a market he is visiting with Omega. He is so hyped about seeing you, he can barely hold back.

Wrecker und Omega follow you into a secluded alley. As you turn around and see Wrecker with this girl, you feel conflicted. He's been such a good guy, a friend and surporter of yours, always. But now? The girl is confusing you. You ask yourself why she's with him.

"Ey, Y/N! You recognize me, don't you?"

Omega looks at you, attentive and quiet. She says calmly, "I think Y/N is scared of us, or better said of you"

Wrecker looks shocked but then you see realisation on his face.

"I don't have a chip anymore. Never really worked correctly anyway. Rex came by and the whole clone force 99 removed their chips", he explains and comes closer.

You ignite your lightsaber. The soft buzzing sound making him stop in his tracks.

"You don't have to fear me", he says softly.

"We don't mean you any harm", the girls says.

"Who are you?", you ask the girl without leaving the giant clone out of your sight.

"I'm Omega, I'm Wrecker's little sister"

You put out your lightsaber and tuck it away under your coat.

"Sister? You have to explain that to me in more detail", you say curious.

Wrecker grins.

"We love to! Come on we get some Mantel Mix!"

Tech

You are sneaking around, see him from a distance. He doesn't seem to be with the empire, he's not wearing their armor nor is he with any other troopers. Yet you don't know if he is trustworthy.

You've been close once. Before order 66 happened. When it happened you both were on different missions. Since that day you never saw him again. Until now.

As you follow him into an alley, lost in your thoughts and insecure feelings, you don't realize he led you here. Tech noticed you and lured you into this back alley.

He suddenly stops and turns around.

"I wasn't sure it was you", he says quietly.

It's so strange to hear his voice again. It makes old feelings come back up, amongst other things hope. It feels good to see and hear him but you can't be sure he won't try to kill you.

"I know, you must be confused and scared", he says "We all were in a way"

"We?"

"My brothers. Clone Force 99"

You feel relieved. They are alive as it seems and you are glad about it.

He shows you a scan on his holopad, to show you how he got rid of his chip and tells you about Rex.

The tension slowly fades and your eyes meet with his. Tech smiles softly.

"It's good to have you back", he says quietly.

Now a more complicated fellow:

Imperial Crosshair

It's highly likely that he will try and ignore that he saw you. He is probabaly on the move with other troopers, his new squad. You've been close but he takes his duties serious. Crosshair feels conflicted. Ignoring that he saw you sneak by, is the best thing for him to do. His squad won't find out about you and he doesn't has to act on it.

Crosshair is relieved in a way to see you. But he is stressed abou the fact that you showed up so close.

___________

Crosshair

Of course, he doesn't miss the fact that you are close by. His perception is strong. A gift that was laid with his genes in the proverbial cradle.

You can't sneak past him.

"Hey Kitten"

You turn around hastily. You can't believe who you see in front of you. And part of you can't believe he still calls you what he used to secretly call you when you were alone.

Your heart beats fast and furious in your chest, it's fear and joy mixed together. Still you are not sure which of the emotions will prevail.

"Missed you"

You blink and look at him uncertainly. He hasn't drawn his gun, no threatening stance. He's alone. Nothing suggests he means you any harm. You open yourself to the Force and sense his presence in it.

He is outwardly calm, but his aura in the Force vibrates, tense and also happy. You feel his hope, his joy to see you again.

You take a deep breath, then you say softly, as if you were afraid any loud noise could destroy this moment.

"I missed you too"

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@urfriendlyneighbornightfury

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

[reigenhusband]

Psychic Wedding Time!

Art by @/cowboyologist

After months of holding back, we finally tied the ole knot! Me and the conman are officially hitched today September 10, 2021!

This silly little blonde anime man means an awful lot to me and its really more than I can say. These months with him have been a great help.

When I went through some of the roughest things I've ever gone through, I had him to think about for comfort. He is a little part in what keeps me going and I wish I could thank him for everything. He sparks a lot of joy so I think I'm gonna keep him!

I've never been happier and I'm so lucky to call him husband! He's had such a positive impact and I love him so, so much.

Special thank you to my friends and of course our son Mob who carried the rings!

Under the cut is a little fic about getting ready for the wedding. Thanks everyone for your support!

Reigen squinted at his reflection, dark eyes hauntingly focused on a strand of hair that didn't take to the product he put in it. A grunt of dismay rumbled low in his throat.

"Um…Reigen?" 

"Just a second, Serizawa. Almost got it."

The taller man's voice wavered but he managed to hold fast and keep his confidence. Reigen could almost hear his hands wringing. 

"Er...Well. Its just...you've been staring at yourself for a little over 20 minutes now and you haven't moved and…"

Reigen sucked his teeth and pressed his palm firmly to the side of his head. Damned strand of hair! Slick like the rest of it! Don't you know know day it is?!

"What I mean is..! Are you alright?" Serizawa finally asked, his voice heavy with concern. "Since it's your wedding and all I figured you'd be nervous but you seem really on edge. Is something bothering you?" 

The blonde twitched.

 "W...what are you talking about? Of course not! I'm calm and-" He stopped abruptly and slammed his hands flat on either side of the mirror, his eyes wide and bloodshot upon inspection of his suit. A fleck of black thread pervaded his white vest and he looked around frantically for the lint roller. "You thought you could hide but you can't best Reigen Arataka." He muttered as he furiously went over his all but pristine wedding attire. 

His best man scratched his own cheek nervously and looked on with clear uncertainty. "If you're sure." 

Once he was satisfied after a thorough inspection and having Serizawa scrutinize the back, he dropped into a chair. Nearby was a table decorated in what was probably a thousand congratulatory flowers from clients. He exhaled and stared a hole into the arrangement of colors. His heart was pounding. His brow, coupled with his hands, were visibly slick with chilled sweat. His stomach was full of stones. 

He met his own gaze in the mirror again. He looked well kept and yet...disheveled at the same time. Come to think of it, his face was flushed the shade of his usual pink tie. The last 3 days without sleep also hollowed out dark circles under his eyes. His shirt collar began to feel more and more constricting as time went on no matter how much he tugged on it. 

Maybe he really was scared. 

He didn't doubt that he loved Mitty. In fact, he wanted to be with him more than anyone. A case of cold feet wouldn't change that. It was himself he was wrestling with here. 

Spirits, monsters, and deadly espers. He'd faced them all and came out on top. But they were nothing compared to these looming expectations to be a person to rely on. This wasn't something he could bullshit his way through. This was marriage. Mitty was going to see the warted underbelly of when he was Reigen the man instead of Reigen the psychic. His fiancé was going to experience sides of him he only revealed when he was alone. Would he still like him even then?

Reigen was good at a lot of things but this had to be the one that counted most. Could he really be a good partner forever? 

Was he really going to cut it as a husband? 

"Hey, Serizawa?" Reigen asked, not looking at him. 

The man's shoulders lurched at his name suddenly being called. He straightened his back. "Oh! Yes sir?"

"Do you think we'll be good together?" 

Silence sat heavily for a moment. Every second felt longer than the last. 

His friend seemed taken aback by the question but nonetheless looked at the ceiling as though collecting the right words to answer. "Well…"

Another moment passed and Reigen waited with his hands clasped and breath baited. 

"I've never been with anyone so I can't say for certain what a good relationship is but," A compassionate smile spread across the esper's face before he continued, visibly more sure of his words. "I think you and Mr. Mitty understand each other. You always seem to know what the other is thinking. You motivate each other to be better and you seem happy when you're together. And...and you trust each other too. And I think that's whats important." 

Reigen looked at the velveted floor. "Then…"  

"You've become more honest by being with him and he talks like you're really important to him. So please...get married if it makes you both happy! I think you can really be something!" His friend was beaming with 

what Reigen could only say was genuine assurance. 

"I really believe you'll take care of each other." 

His co-worker actually really was resourceful. Maybe someday he ought to pay him more. The uncomfortable feelings waned slightly and his shoulders slowly slacked. Mitty was waiting for him so now wasn't the time to lose it. 

After a few seconds of letting his feelings iron themselves out, he stood and smoothed his hands over his suit jacket. "Well alright then. If thats what you think then I guess there's no backing out of this one." 

Serizawa pressed his hands together in delight. "YES! I've got your back, Reigen!" 

The door into the hallway opened and a set of black eyes peered into the room. "Master, It's starting. Are you coming?" 

The jarring announcement had him scrambling to fix the piece of hair he'd been fussing with. 

"OF COURSE." He jabbed his thumb into his own chest to feign total confidence. "Right behind you, Mob!" 

He held his breath. Alright, let's do this. 

Mitty POV

Teal eyes darted around the room carefully. 

"Hey...Dimple? You there?"

The whizzing of the spirit materializing buzzed next to his ear. 

"Yeah whaddya want? You're on soon, aren't you?" 

Mitty jabbed his right hook into the air where the voice was coming from. "AGH WHAT THE HELL?"

A swift flash of green dodged his reach. 

"HEY, why are you hitting me?! You asked for ME, remember?" The ghost clucked his tongue in disapproval and floated a few inches away for safety. 

"WELL MATERIALIZE WHERE I CAN SEE YOU, YOU BIG BOOGER! I'm on edge!" 

"On edge? What for? You're the one who wanted this, right?"

"W..well….yeah, sorry." He looked at his clenched fist and opened it. "...sorry." He said again more thoughtfully this time. 

Dimple raised a spectral eyebrow. "Whats wrong? Having second thoughts? I mean it's Reigen so who can blame ya."

Mitty scowled while straightening his tie in the mirror. "Hey! REIGEN'S…." His voice softened closer to a whisper. "A pretty good guy. Get off my case. Aren't you supposed to be my support? You're being kinda harsh!" 

"Well kid, something is obviously on your mind so let's hear it. Wedding starts soon right? Yeesh. Once you do all this he's your problem forever." 

"I'm not worried about him!! I'm more worried about...me."

"About you? What're you talkin' about?! You're too good for him!"

"Thanks for the flattery. You still can't have my body though."

"Well I didn't want it anyways, ya bastard. You're weak compared to Shigeo. I'm just being honest here!" 

Silence.

"So? Out with it, What did you want anyways? You're talking nonsense here!" 

Mitty wrinkled his nose in discomfort.  "I just needed to ask something. But you can't run your mouth off like you always do, you old gossip. You're like a knitting circle."

"TCH. like I'd blabber your business to someone. It's all so boring."

"Yeah, yeah just listen, alright?!"

Another few seconds passed. "So? Say it. We don't have all day, you know."

He was looking at his hands again like he was somewhere far off. "Well. D...D'you think I'll be good at this?" 

"Good at what, exactly?" 

"Being married." 

Dimple's form rippled with thought. "You're seriously worried about that?"

Mitty was going to make a sharp remark but his head dropped and his face buried into his knuckles. "Yeah."

Dimple deflated slightly in exasperated defeat. Humans could be so ignorant. 

"Listen. That fraud never shuts up about you. You think you're not good enough? You should hear him talk. It's annoying how you both don't realize things."

"Realize things?"

He sighed and shrugged his tiny arms. "I hear everything whether you like it or not. You two idiots never stop talking and moaning about the other is too good for the other. It's getting old, really." 

"HUH? He says that? No way! But he's always beaten me at everything! I always thought he was way out of my league." 

 "Kinda the opposite actually but...sure. What I'm saying is…! You're both seeing the best parts of each other. Keep doing that and it'll be smooth sailing."

"Yeah but...what if he stops seeing the best in me?'

"You planning on making things hard?" 

"Not really. I just know I can be difficult to deal with." 

"So is he. You really think you got this far because Reigen's all roses and sunshine? 'Course not. You've seen all the stuff he does and you still like him, right?" 

He certainly was flawed, that was for sure. Mitty spent most of Reigen's antics with his eyes rolled up in his head but that didn't mean he wasn't enjoying the moment either. 

"Right."

"Then it's the same for him. Sure it won't always be fun but that phoney won't give up on you just because you're annoying. He's way too persistent. It kind of ticks me off." 

I'm annoying???  That stung but he shook it off.

Reigen was going to have to deal with him for the rest of his life once they said the right words. But if Dimple was right...would it be so bad to annoy each other for the rest of their lives if the other was willing to put up with it? 

Reigen seemed okay with it so far. Mitty would just have to listen to him make a fuss about his coffee table clutter until he died. But really, he wouldn't have that any other way. His voice was kind of cute when he hit that inhuman octave he had when he was in disbelief. 

The door from the hall swung open and a blond clad in what was perhaps the most blinding and loud suit he had ever seen poked his head in. 

"Oh, You're still in here? It's bad luck to be late on your wedding day! Master Reigen is waiting. " He cocked his head to the side. "Or did you need some help with your suit? Its looking a little plain." 

Hanazawa. This kid would try to accessorize his suit in the worst way possible. He put up his hands to wave him off. 

"N-nah, kiddo that's alright. I'll be right there."

Hanazawa, after a few more attempts to get Mitty to let him help retreated back into the hallway. When it was quiet again he eyed Dimple. He was abrasive and unpleasant. He always had a motive for everything and rarely had something nice to say. 

But he came through when it mattered. 

"Hey Dimple?" 

"Yeah? What is it?" 

"Thanks." 

Dimple wouldn't meet his eyes and levitated towards the hall. He didn't want to acknowledge he was helping, he supposed. It was in character for that tsundere blob.

"You ought to get out of here now if you wanna make it on time." 

He stood and dusted himself off. 

"Welp. Here goes everything."

[enamouredfae]

♡ Pick a Card ♡

What you need to know in order to be ready for the love you so longingly seek!

This reading is looking at anything you might need to heal or grow into in order to enter future relationships as your higher self. I am not looking at your future, but simply trying to guide you towards your highest good in the field of love. Many of us have internalized certain perceptions of love that we must unlearn, or have lived through difficult moments which have closed us off or made experiencing love more difficult. If you are in a toxic relationship/situation, please do not take any messages that might seem to tell you to stay in it. With this reading, I will hopefully open you up to some introspection and hopefully growth. You may very well be attracted to multiple piles and that is ok! Read all that attract you and take what resonates. Each pile has three pieces of advice, so mixing and matching is invited!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Knot

1. Yang

Yang tells me that you need to learn to become more proactive in love. You cannot wait around. You must act! You need to manifest your desires into the material world by doing. It's perfectly fine to do the first move, no matter what society deems "acceptable", it is even invited with this card.

23. Peace

Radical acceptance is necessary for inner peace and in this case for a higher love. You must first love yourself fully, light and shadow self, before loving someone else in the way that you both deserve! And you deserve radical acceptance, we are all flawed and intricate people! As long as we are willing to change and grow and put in the work, past mistakes can be atoned for.

38. To be fair

This card tells me that you need to learn to be more balanced in relationships. Are you giving more than the other parties? Are you giving less? We must be fair to both others and ourselves. When someone in the relationship gives more, they may feel underappreciated which can become unmotivating, but they can also overwhelm the other person. You must learn balance.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

7. To the sea (reversed)

"When fishermen cannot go to sea, they stay at home and repair their nets." This is a quote from the guidebook that I had to rewrite here because it encapsulates the advice perfectly. You probably long for love like fishermen long for the sea. This card is telling me that the problem isn't coming from you, but the external world. An idea that just popped up in my head is a queer teen living in a homophobic area or with homophobic parents, so it is likely that this could be your situation. If it is, I love you, please take care of yourself, love and better days will come, don't worry! But you must wait a while longer until the external world matches your vibration, perhaps you'll have to move, wait until you're safe to go out to the sea. Until then, go with the flow.

50. No place like home (reversed)

This card seems to work perfectly with the previous one, it reminds us that what is familiar isn't always the best, because it keeps us from growing. If you want change, you can't keep going to the same things/people that haven't worked before, it's counterintuitive. It is natural to go back to what's familiar, but try something new. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Choose unfamiliar.

34. A leg up (reversed)

You are carrying the burden of your world all alone. You probably don't feel safe sharing what you feel, or are very uncomfortable with vulnerability. To be honest with you, right before writing this part of the reading, I started tearing up, you are holding in so much hurt... You need to voice your struggles, being vulnerable is proof of immense strength, believe me! I know it's hard! Start little by little with someone you really trust!

Pile 3

Charm: Star

35. Loyal Heart

Ok if one pile is ready for the beginning of a relationship it's this one. It is the perfect time for you to create loyal commitments. It is possible that you are already in a committed relationship, but at the very least you are surrounded by loyal, devoted people. Don't forget to be devoted and loyal in return!

4. Higher Power (reversed)

This card is inviting you to trust in whatever divine power you believe in, trust that the universe is divinely guiding you and protecting you. I feel like if a certain religion or spiritual path attracts or fascinates you, you should start looking into it, careful with being disrespectful or appropriating it, especially with closed practices, please do your research! But connecting to Source would be beneficial to you in the long run!

25. Round and Round

You are stuck in a cycle that you must break. Do not worry, you shouldn't feel bad, it's all part of the learning process. Remember: you've been through this before, think back on how that made you feel the previous times, are you sure you want to go through that again? Breaking this cycle is a form of self-care, and you need to care for yourself! You are subconsciously punishing yourself by staying in this cycle, try thinking about the root of why you're doing so! It could help you in breaking it!

Pile 4

Charm: "Love"

8. The tribe

You may want to find your tribe, or you have recently found it. You might feel like you finally belong, or are longing for that feeling. Whenever I get this card, I think of the astrology/witchcraft/tarot community here! It may be the same for you! You are welcome here, and hopefully, you feel like you belong! Contributing to any community that you are passionate about, whether online or in real life, will bring you great joy and satisfaction. Your tribe awaits and needs you! It's possible that that's where you'll find love as well!

6. Not for you (reversed)

Let them go. Whoever you first thought of, it's time to stop obsessing over them. "Don't chase after what flees you." I'm sure you realize this is not serving you, but how do you stop? This card is suggesting radical acceptance and surrender, that this is a sign that someone or something much better is waiting for you. I suggest reminding yourself that they aren't perfect and that you have just come to idealize them.

52. Mending (reversed)

You are very likely going through a grieving period right now. There is so much hurt and disappointment. "Heartbreak is a strange healer of souls." It may feel awful now, but trust that when you look back one day, you will see that the hurt you're feeling now, transformed you in a powerful way. This card is inviting you to accept the heartbreak and push through it, situations like this open us up to seeing the world in a new way, to growing. Better days are coming!

Pile 5

Charm: Angel

28. Building blocks (reversed)

Are you acting according to your belief system? Are you following the advice you give others? You must look carefully at your core foundation. It seems to me that you have done a lot of inner growth, but are still stuck in your old ways. Your outer self isn't matching your inner self. Start doing what you preach!

47. Go the distance

I feel like you're someone that wants love right now! For it to come fast and smoothly, like a sprint. You must learn to see love more realistically, as a long-distance race of endurance. You may be the type to immediately run at the sight of a problem. You must learn to be dedicated and work in love, it won't always be the idealized version you keep reading about or watching. Love demands work!

32. Here and Now (reversed)

You live in the past, don't you? So much regret and nostalgia... Or perhaps you live in the future? Daydreams and ambition. There is a need to learn to live in the here and now, you cannot change the past, and the future is infinite. They're both elusive, and unreliable; now is tangible, real, and full of immediate possibilities.

Pile 6

Charm: Mars Symbol

22. Blessed

This beautiful card talks about an unexpected and "unearned" wonderful event, that seems like divine intervention, a gift from the universe. The advice I take from this card is to practice gratitude because you seem to be blessed in the love department. Perhaps you already know who "the one" is for you. If you don't, trust that the universe has someone wonderful for you!

31. Why?

Ask yourself why you feel as you do about/in love? It is time for some introspection. You need to think and identify unhealthy patterns in your love life. Why do you act as you do in a relationship? Identify what in your past has caused this behavior. It won't solve the problem right away, but it's a good first step. Understanding the problem will be validating.

27. Exchanging gifts (reversed)

"Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it." You need to be ready for the energy exchange that will happen if this happens. This card talks about an imbalance between giving and receiving. You must learn that if you receive a lot, you must return a lot, love needs to be balanced. If you give more, you aren't actually in control, the other party could be consciously or unconsciously taking advantage of your generosity!

Pile 7

Charm: Eternally Open Heart Locket

17. The Fates

You must learn to accept that there are things and people you simply cannot control and change. You cannot blame yourself for things beyond your control, nor can you blame others for things they cannot control. Just be wise enough to tell the difference between things one can control and things one cannot!! If you have a tendency to mold people into your ideal, making them lose their essence, you must learn to accept people for who they are. It is not your job to change them: the desire to change must come from them, for them.

15. Message in a bottle

Try asking for specific signs from the universe, or start becoming more aware of them. Synchronicities are all around you, they're the way that the universe confirms that you're on the right path! Listen carefully to those you communicate with, they could be delivering a cledon to you. This card itself is a good sign, a favorable answer to the question occupying your mind.

9. Treasure Island

You might've already, but if you haven't, MANIFEST YOUR LOVE!! You will be greatly rewarded when you embrace the law of attraction and your intuition. Depending on your belief in how manifestation works, try being mindful of free will! If you believe that love spells on specific people are influencing their free will, then it is immoral to manifest a specific person. If you don't believe that that is how manifestation works, do as you will, just be in line with your beliefs! This card is also a great sign, you're on the right path, and have good fortune on your side. Very lucky pile!!

Pile 8

Charm: Boot

2. Yin (reversed)

You must learn to receive, only being the giver isn't good for you. You deserve to receive! Be open to embodying yin and yang equally. "You stop the flow of abundance when you constantly insist upon being the giver." Be the listener, the one that learns, the one that is being led.

33. Chaos and Conflict

You may be afraid of chaos and conflict, but you must remember that they can rid you of what's no longer serving you. Conflict also implies two sides, remember that yours isn't the only one, and conflict can lead to mutual understanding. Learn to put up boundaries, but also to respect those of others. When you finally see the potential of healing that conflict can cause, you'll be ready for mature communication in relationships.

20. Imagine

Remember that you can create what you imagine! Your imagination is powerful in manifesting your desires, but it can't do everything for you! Manifestation is work, when an opportunity arises, act! This card can also be a sign that the person you're manifesting will be entering your life soon. When they appear, don't just wait, and daydream! The imagination part of manifesting is done, now it's time to act.

Pile 9

Charm: Knife

21. Clean it up

It's time to let go and declutter your mind. Think about what is no longer serving you, about the things that only overwhelm you, and make you overthink, they aren't good for you. It might also help you to declutter in general, your house, your closet, your phone, your feed, etc. Make room for the new and the better.

48. Poised (reversed)

Think carefully, are you really ready for love right now? Because this card is telling me that you aren't. It's ok to be a "late bloomer", and it's important to be ready for love, as to not hurt the one you love, and yourself. Being single isn't a sign of "failure", it gives you the time and space to focus on yourself, on your growth, on your healing, on exploring and understanding yourself. Being single can seem like a curse, but it's a blessing, it's what you need right now.

16. All that glitters

Are you being yourself in love? Are they? Don't succumb to the power of superficiality. Either let go of the mask or look beyond theirs! "Imagine that all the glitter is gone. Would you still desire the object or person?" If one falls for the glitter, what will happen on the day they forgets to glue it on?

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡

[lyracasstuff]

I am NOT prepared to make myself sad,, you FRENCHIE!! ಥ⌣ಥ

However,, I will accept because as much as it pains me to write angst,, I also have to in order to improve my writing skills..

I'll do this in one shot/fic form as I feel as though I can convey emotions there better. That and I've been doing headcannons as of late,, so let's switch it up a notch..

WARNINGS: DEATH, BLOOD, SPOILERS FOR JOSEPH'S BACKSTORY

Joseph x fem! S/o

To be Sick at Heart💔

"How did this all happen?" thought the Frenchman, although it was more retorical, as he already knew deep down the answer to that question... He just can't accept it..

You had been an acquaintance to Joseph before, seeing as how your family served him, and the both of you only grew closer once you got caught in the twisted "games" of the manor. Joseph asked as to what had tempted you to accept the invitation of the manor.

It turns out, you were looking to find people who you can treat as your own family. In all your life, you practically had been treated like dirt, especially the time when Joseph had gone missing. Your family had given you love and acceptance, but it was short-lived seeing as how their lives were slowly taken from them early on in your life by sickness, you had no one but the other servants to take care of you.

The other servants cared for you, but not to the same extent as your family... You were aware of that fact as did they. So, when the invitation arrived, you couldn't help but accept right away.

It promised that "they" could fulfill your desire of having the bonds and relationships that you never had growing up, why wouldn't you accept? You would be missing out on a golden oppurtunity.

And so, that was how you ended up in this morbid manor, tricked and forced to participate in these "games" that gets everyone hurt much like every other survivor who came here...

Days had gone by. Weeks. Months. Hell, even years, and you were all still being forced to play.

Thankfully, you had everyone to keep you company during these times.. Thanks to your loving nature, you were able to be close with everyone in the manor, even those who are notorious at being secretive like Norton. You even managed to befriend some of the hunters as well.

But most especially of all, you were thankful you had Joseph to be there with you.

You were quite shocked when you saw the silver-haired count, as he had seemingly disappeared out of nowhere the last time. So to see him here made you pleasantly surprised.

Joseph as well felt shocked when he saw you here, albeit he took some time to figure who exactly you were as you looked extremely familiar to him.

It didn't take long for the both of you to grow close to each other where outside of matches, you two were practically inseperable. The both of you would be spotted having afternoon tea together, walking around the manor together, sightseeing for new photoshoot locations together.

You always did things together...

Over time though, you would grow feelings for the count and the same can be said for Joseph as well. However, your fears of being rejected has delayed the both of you from ever confessing about your feelings toward each other. The others in the manor can most definitely see your connection as bright as day, but they really didn't know how to go about helping you about it. After all, all of them never really had great experiences in their lives, so they don't know what would normally be best in a situation like this..

Despite this, you can't help but feel content and happy that you have found people that you can treat as your family. Emily and Michiko were like motherly figures to you with their kind nature. Leo treated you like his own daughter, much like how he treats Emma. Wu Chang, Andrew, Norton, Naib, and Eli were like big brothers for you, always being protective of you to keep you safe.

You really felt at home with all of the inhabitants. It almost felt as if being stuck in a manor wasn't so bad after all...

Almost

There was still one more thing you wanted to do. You had discovered your family, but you wanted to expand on that desire..

You wanted to start your own family

And you would want to do so with someone you love... That someone would be the Frenchman with whom you have grown immense feelings for.. So you sent him an invitation to go to the balcony of the garden at night, where you won't be disturbed by the others...

Unbeknownst to you, the Frenchman had been thinking the same thing, especially after reading the invitation you sent him. Can you blame him though? Seeing you interacting with him, along with all of the others, made him feel butterflies in his stomach. How you unconditionally helped the other inhabitants through their issues and suffering, not because you needed something from them, but because you wanted to. You wanted to help them, you wanted to nurture them, you wanted to support them...

With that feeling alone, Joseph finds that he just couldn't take it anymore... He wants to confess to you..

He wants to be with you, to call you his love, to marry you and call you his wife, and to start a family as well..

With that thought, he made up his mind and decided to accept your invitation, and there, he will confess..

It was night time, you were already at the balcony waiting, knowing that Joseph values punctuality and doesn't like to be kept waiting. Soon after, Joseph shows up. It seems as though he had been brisk walking which is evident by the way he's catching his breath in the slightest.

Taking a deep breath, you slowly and calmly began to confess your feelings towards him and how you wanted to start building a future with him as the father of your children.

Joseph was in awe, for he had never could've guessed that you felt the same way. He accepted, saying how he had always thought about you the same way, and that he would be honored to be the father of your children. Joseph took a few steps towards you, with you unconsciously doing the same. Joseph wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you closer, while you wrapped yours around his neck.

He lifted his hand and tilted your chin upwards to stare at your features, admiring them. The way your skin glistened in the moonlight, how your eyes sparkled with life when he stared at them. How your cheeks were flushed with the slightest hint of color.

You looked angelic to him.

Brushing his thumb over your lower lip, he slowly closed his eyes as he allowed his lips to connect with yours.. You can't help but reciprocate immediately, you'd been waiting for this moment to come. You truly felt happy that you took the risk to confess to him, knowing that he may have rejected you instead.

And that was the start of your blossoming relationship...

For the next few years, the two of you became more and more in love with each other every single day. Countless affirmations of love, bouquets of your favorite flowers, numerous cuddling sessions, along with the discussion of having a domestic life together..

You two really had the potential to have a wonderful life together...

But, there are repercussions in growing fond of the potential...

One time at a match, you had been feeling dizzier and more nauseous by the second, so much so that it frequently disoriented you from kiting the hunter properly. At some point even, you threw up a bit. Your team still won the match since the hunter decided to go friendly in the end because of your condition, however they were still concerned for you so they sent you immediately to Emily.

You were diagnosed to be pregnant..

Your thoughts immediately went to Joseph. A mixture of joy and anxiousness washed over you. Can be a good mother for your child? Can you really do this? Can you really start a family like you had promised? What if you do something wrong? What if you're not cut out for this?

Just as your thoughts began to generate more questions, Joseph runs in and looks over to you with wide eyes. Emily must've told him that you were pregnant with his child. He immediately went towards your bed and hugged you as he sobbed his heart out.

He was so convinced that the bright future you two head towards is certain...

Oh, how a fool he was for believing so....

2 months in and your belly hasn't been growing rapidly.. Normally, you would've had a small baby bump forming on your belly... Joseph and Emily had been constantly reassuring you that you might need to readjust your diet more to fit your baby's needs....

But, that's not the only thing bothering you...

You see, just as you haven't "developed" your baby, your dizziness and nausea didn't go away. For quite sometime, you thought it was normal.....

Until you see tiny specks and droplets of blood on your hand...

That's when you realize....

You're not actually pregnant.. You're sick...

Having this sudden realization, you quickly washed your hand and looked at yourself in the mirror... Maybe this was some sort of mistake? Maybe you're actually pregnant and you just scratched the inside of your cheek?

You were hoping. Praying, that it was anything else other than a sickness... However, as time passed, you felt yourself growing weaker and weaker...

For months, you had kept this sickness of yours a secret. You didn't want to make anyone worry about you and you especially didn't want to disappoint Joseph with the fact that you're not actually carrying a baby or make him devastated with your death just as he became devastated with his twin brother's death...

However, try as you may, the longer you kept it a secret, the more the others noticed. How your skin was getting paler, how your cheeks had started to sink in, how you became alarmingly skinnier and bonier, how your eyes became more dull and lifeless...

Most importantly, at how you became increasingly more secretive and quiet about all this.

Joseph was by far being more and more anxious than before. He didn't know what was happening. He wasn't an expert in medicine, but even he could notice that this isn't normal for a pregnancy..

Quickly carrying you to Emily, he asked for a check-up to see what was happening. You would've stopped him if it weren't for the fact that you were so weak, you couldn't move a muscle without hurting it.. There, he was informed about the condition you're in. He was just as shocked as you are, but there's a mixture of fear and hopelessness bubbling inside him...

No. He couldn't let this happen. Not again...

His breathing starts going rapid, his hands start shaking, he hugs himself as he looks at you at your weakened state with tears threatening to spill from his eyes...

Just as he was about to confront you, Victor had entered and pointed towards the main hall, signaling Joseph and Emily to go there.

Apparently, there's a meeting that's going to be held.

Joseph and Emily looked at each other before turning to look at you. Then, they quickly left the room, with you all alone inside with nothing but your thoughts and the life within you.. Or, what's left of it...

The meeting started once Joseph and Emily arrived as they were the only ones left to attend. Emily had to quickly explain your condition when some of the others questioned your whereabouts.. All were quite shocked and concerned about your sickness, however the meeting was said to be an important one so they had to stay. They'll just have to relay the information given to you by the time it's done..

After the meeting, everyone was so shocked and confused that for several moments, no one said a word.. Who wouldn't though? Because after all this time...

They were all finally free

Free from the clutches of the manor, free from the twisted "games", free from the prison that presented itself as a grand oppurtunity for everyone to get what they want.

They were free at last... Now, they can all live their lives as they want it to be...

Suddenly realizing this, Joseph quickly made his way back to your room. There was still hope he thought, he had hoped for you to get better and finally leave this prison together, along with the others.

But what he saw when he opened the door made him feel like his heart had been crushed into a million pieces...

There in your room, was you lying in your bed, breath shallow and rapid, crimson blood dripping from the side of your mouth and staining the sheets, your eyes looking duller and duller as ever...

You were grasping..

Grasping for whatever life you had left within you, it made Joseph run to your side quickly as he cradled your head in his arms, proclaiming you'll be fine and that you're all free now and that you just need to hold on for a little while longer..

But you both know that you won't make it..

You both know that Joseph is more so convincing himself, than convincing you..

The others had rushed in to see you, and they too were crushed for they also wished for you to escape with all of them...

You held Joseph's hand, and told him not to worry anymore.. Looking towards the others, you proclaimed that you had finally found the people that you can call your family, and that even if Joseph can't see you, you'll always be there for him no matter what.. And that you wish for him to be happy and enjoy his newfound freedom, without the confinements of the manor...

Joseph begged you to stay, to hang on, to stay strong, all while sobbing uncontrollably but to no avail...

You withdrew your final breath as your hand became limp, your eyes closed, and your body going cold...

...

...

...

You had died

For the second time in his life, he once again witnessed the death of someone he deeply cared about..

First Claude......... And now, you....

Joseph lost it as he let all his tears and sadness out.. Everyone, soon followed suit. They can't help but be crushed at the thought of their friend never making it on time for the escape....

The now former inhabitants of the manor prepared one last funeral in honor of your death, with Aesop embalming you, Andrew preparing the hole from which will forever be your resting place, Emma preparing the funeral flowers, while the others prepared the venue... The Red Church.. Everyone gathered and mourned for your death. By the end of it all, everyone left the cemetery and the manor together, with Joseph gripping a bar of the gate, longing to see you again once more and hoping that you were still alive somehow...

Alas, it never came. And so, he reluctantly left the manor and had trenched forward to live his life "to the fullest"...

But how can he ever live his life as he pleases when you're not around? How can he simply enjoy the pleasures of life when you aren't there to accompany him? How can he move on when he doesn't want to forget you?

These thoughts plague him constantly, as he stirs his tea mindlessly, looking into the distance, as his new "family" were chatting happily, not knowing what goes on inside his head..

He has a family now alright, but it wasn't perfect.. It wasn't with you.

That thought is enough to make him sick at heart, for he will never experience the joy he had longed for when you were still around...

Sick at Heart : to experience deep unpleasant emotions such as grief or disappointment

��🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞💔🎞

Author's Note: I hope you are all satisfied with this angst, Frenchie... Because you really made my day a bit sadder than usual..

Can someone pls request something fluffy the next time I open my requests?? I need some comforting chocolate cake after that bitter black coffee moment..(╥_╥)

Well,, until next time then! See you all in my next post!! (Ｔ▽Ｔ)💚

[butteraway]

when time runs out | ii

⋆ summary:  A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: small mentions of suicide (I’ll put a star ‘⋆’ on top and below the paragraph so you can skip over it if your uncomfortable, you won’t miss anything too important so dont worry!)

"Bro, honestly I still can't believe that you of all people made it into the elite, number one hero school in the country."

"Waahh, I'm telling you! I'm the real deal Y/N!"

"So, how's your summer been? School's gonna be starting soon, are you excited?" Denki could only smile and sigh as his character was finally killed off.

Said girl chuckled as she heard Denki's voice rise through her headphones as they continued killing zombies in front of them. She grimaced as a zombie attacked her from behind her character. Geez, I never get a break in this game.

"Well, to be honest, nothing big really happened besides me getting my acceptance letter from U.A. Just me training and hanging with the fam." He laid back in the comfort of his bed, headphones still on in order to hear his cousin.

"Aah, already training, hero boy? That's why you haven't been visiting me lately." Y/N pouted and crossed her arms as her TV screen turned black, returning her to the main page of the game.

"Man, we suck at this game!" Denki laughed out loud as he saw how long they lasted in the last round. Y/N smiled and let out a small giggle of her own as she placed down her controller.

"Yeah, how long have we had this game for? It still feels like it's our first time playing this." Denki cracked a smile, even though Y/N couldn't see him.

"Hey, sorry for not being able to come to the hospital. Getting ready for U.A. is no joke, haha." Denki rubbed the nape of his neck, eyebrows scrunching up with regret. 

"Nah nah, it's fine! I understand that you have things to do. You have big plans for the future." Y/N brushed a strand of her hair away from her face, looking down at the needles that were plunged into her arms. Her eyes were clouded with an emotion she often felt when talking with Denki. She always felt guilty whenever the feeling came around.

"Must be nice to be able to achieve your dreams." Jealousy. She hated the feeling she got every now and then, but you couldn't really blame her. She lost everything in only a couple of months. Silence passed between the two teenagers, Y/N finally realizing what she said.

"Uh s-sorry about that! I didn't mean to say that alou-" Y/N was cut off by Denki's soft voice.

"Y/N, it's... okay to feel like that. I don't understand what you have been going through, but I know that you shouldn't bring yourself down for something you can't control. You're such an amazing person and to be honest. . ." Denki paused as Y/N's eyes began to glaze over.

"I'm doing this for me and you. You always encouraged me to take any opportunity by, as you like to say, the neck. I-I wanna make you proud, y'know? I wanna make it feel like you're a part of this crazy world, even if you're not really here, walking with me through it all."

Y/N’s lips wobbled as she let out a watery laugh. She hunched over, small tears falling down her face. To someone else, this would've boosted their ego, but to Y/N, those words meant the world to her. No one had ever said that to her before. She felt like she had a purpose in this wretched life of hers. She sniffles were heard by Denki

"H-hey! It's okay, p-please don't cry!" Y/N heard shuffling coming from Denki as he reassured her to not cry.

"I mean it. I only wish you could be there though, it would be so much cooler!" Denki smiled, trying to lighten up the mood. Y/N's sniffles slowly quieted down as she let out a soft laugh that made his heart swell with joy. At least he can make her laugh.

"I'm s-sorry, but no one has ever told me t-that." Small hiccups came from the girl as she calmed down, taking deep breaths to slow her heart rate. Won't want doctors to come rushing in just to see her crying over something so small.

⋆

"I-I'm just really happy you said that." Denki's heart clenched at those words, his chin trembling every now and then. He knew that Y/N wasn't happy with where she was. She had even admitted that she had urges to rip out the needles and slowly lose her life from there. Denki spent the rest of that night talking to her after. To say he was concerned was an understatement. He was terrified when she told him.

⋆

"I think us being able to play games together is already enough!" They both laughed and talked for a couple of minutes before deciding to to hang up. 

"Y/N, I mean it when I say I want you to be happy, okay? I hope you feel better tomorrow. Buh-bye!" Y/N said her goodbye to Denki, hanging up and closing the laptop that sat on a movable table. 

Her smile slowly left her face, leaving her staring blankly at the pure white wall and mirror in front of her. When visitors were gone, her window would turn to a mirror so no one would disturb her. Y/N took a good look at herself and only sighed. Despite being as healthy as she could get, she looked a bit on the thin side, this complimenting her skin. Running a hand through her hair, she untangled the little knots that had formed there.

"Geez, what happened to you girl? You look like a zombie." Y/N looked at the zombie game and cringed.

"Literally."  Just then the door to her room opened and shut quickly, the air filter turning on when a female doctor entered. Y/N watched her carefully as she checked the IV that connected to her arm. The protective suit never made Y/N feel better about her condition.

"Are you alright, Ms. L/N?" The light, stern voice rang through her ears as she looked at the woman in front of her. Y/N gave the doctor a grin.

"Never been better."

It had been an hour since the doctors had turned the lights off, but Y/N didn't feel the slightest bit of exhaustion. She had been sitting in the pitch black room for the time being and was really debating on turning on the TV.

"Ahh, fudge it." Instinctively reaching out for the remote, she turned on the TV and winced as the bright light hit her.

Looking back to the screen, she chose the option of going online and waited for other players to join. While waiting, a new character popped up next to her and she could only smirk at their username. Tapping on her mic, she decided to make conversation with them to see if they also had a mic.

"Now, what to play. What to play..." Y/N had settled for playing OverWatch since she didn't feel like playing any story type games. No cliffhangers tonight, Y/N thought. As the game loaded, she laid back and began thinking about cheesecake. When was the last I ate strawberry cheesecake? Great, now I want some. Thinking about eating cheesecake made her excited about the next day.

"Well hello, dear ol' '​​​​​King Explosion Murder_1.' Nice name you got there." Y/N chuckled as she said the name out loud, seeing another player enter.

"Hello 'Tape Dispenser?' What's with the wack name?" The girl’s eyes crinkled as she smiled at their name, hearing the user chuckle through her headphones. '​​​​​​King Explosion Murder' still had yet to reply, but that didn't bother her. They're either using the bathroom or don't have a mic. 

"The name was inspired by my quirk. But what's up with '_DeathGirl_', huh? You good?"  Y/N could only laugh at what he said. She should really send him a friend request.

"I’m honestly great, a little tired, but great! I just gotta make up a name, y'know? But your quirk has to do with tape? I don't know if that's wicked or useless." The boy laughed while Y/N laughed as well, losing her grip on her controller. That was until a gruff voice interrupted their laughing session.

"Shut the fuck up, your annoying ass voices are giving me a damn headache." Finally, after being silent, 'King Explosion Murder_1' spoke up.

"Aah, so you do talk. I don't know why you didn't say anything sooner Mr. Explosion Murder." The other player could only sneer at what she said, hitting his desk with his fist. Another player had joined, Y/N only noticing.

"Ah, hello 'Sleep Deprived Controller!'" Said player made their character wave, making Y/N chuckle. While they had their interaction, 'King Explosion Murder' was shouting at her, now realizing that she wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.

"Hey! Listen to me when I'm fucking talking to you, emo bitch!" Y/N’s eyes widened, soon rolling her eyes, watching the game load as they were placed into a match. What's his damn problem?

"Hey man, no need to go calling people names now." 'Tape Dispenser' nervously chuckled as he heard the other player growl. Y/N sported a shocked face as she heard this. What is he, a dog??? 

"Outta this conversation, extra!" Tape dude could only deadpan at what he was just called. Who calls people extras?? I’m not an extra, in fact I think I’m- 'Sleep Deprived Controller' listened with an annoyed expression on their face, wishing they could shut their shouting teammate up. Damn, wish I actually had a mic.

The game began as all the players separated, going their own way to kill their enemies. Everyone was in the zone, getting items and yelping every now and then if they were attacked. The first to go down was 'Tape Dispenser', then 'Sleep Deprived Controller', leaving both Y/N and 'King Explosion Murder' left on their team. Y/N smirked at their winning team, only one player was left on the other team. Just as the game was going to end, the opposing player shot down 'Explosion Murder', killing him.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-" His mic cut off, causing the two players with mics in a cackling mess. Y/N calmed down, remembering she was still playing, trying to hunt down the last player. Finally, after many curses by a certain player and cheering from another, she located her enemy. 

"You better fucking win this or I'll kill you." Knowing he didn't mean that last part, she only focused on the first part. You better win this. Those words echoed through her head as she stopped aiming for the player. She hated being told what to do.

"Ah, so you're one of those people." Not knowing what she meant, they only watched with wide eyes at what she did. Y/N jumped down next to the enemy, shooting them twice with her weakest gun, signaling them that she was there. Quickly, the other player shot her character down, killing her. They lost the game.

"THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?! WE COULD'VE FUCKING WON!" Explosion Murder wasn't taking defeat easily like the other two were. Y/N could only give a grunt of disapproval towards the loud player.

"Ha, why did you just give up right there? You could've easily killed him." Tape Dispenser was just as confused as the other two players, slightly disappointed at the loss. Y/N sighed as she rubbed her forehead.

"Sorry not sorry, but this dude really thought he could get away with telling me what to do. I'll make my move when I'm ready, sorry to disappoint you guys." She sighed as she rubbed her neck, ready to hear the disapprovals of her teammate. But what she heard and saw made her smile.

"Nah, it's fine. It can get a tiny bit annoying with Murder yelling in your ear." Tape Dispenser reassured her, with Sleep Deprived's character giving her a thumbs up. Though, the annoyed sigh caught her attention back to him. Her eyebrow twitched. What is it now?

"I'm done with this fucking sappy shit scene. I'm out." Those were Murder's last words before he disconnected, leaving them in an awkward silence before Y/N stifled a giggle.

"I have a feeling that won't be the last time I'm seeing him." Tape Dispenser chuckled while Sleep Deprived's character shook their head, making Y/N softly laugh. After sending friend requests to both people, she bid them both fair well and left.

Y/N turned off her console and tv, putting the controllers on the table near her. She laid down in the comfort of her bed, thinking about her interactions with the people she met. She smiled, closing her eyes and drifting into a dreamless slumber with only one thought in mind. 

King Explosion Murder is such a weird name.

[seacottons]

steel heart: — [ soulmate au ]

pairing: kang yeosang x reader

wc: 5k

genre: trash

notes: some swearing. set in wave-era. the early 90s? this was supposed be a long, slow-burn kinda fic, but in my defense i suck ass at strangers-to-lovers, so. yes. not proofread bc idc.

summary: yeosang took joy in pickpocketing all of the naive tourists in town, until he realized he stole his soulmate’s wallet.

The pads of your fingers gently brushed along the row of cat food cans, your orbs flickering to each one as you squinted in concentration. Picking a can up, you observed it curiously and failed to notice a shadow loom over your figure from behind. A hand grasping a can above your head startled you, and you swiftly turned to glare at the person invading your personal bubble.

The stranger paid you no mind as he walked away, can in one hand and skateboard in the other. You scoffed, opting to silently glare holes into his back before turning around to continue your search, vehemently spitting out, "Rude jerk."

After filling your cart with all the necessities, you made yourself over to the checkout. You fished for your wallet from your bag, brows furrowing in confusion whilst failing to locate it. You were absolutely certain you didn't leave it at home.

Your felt your stomach practically drop at the memory of the man, head snapping up to glance around your surroundings frantically. Was he still here? Had he taken it? Had you accidentally dropped it somewhere in the store?

With an embarrassed smile, you hastily explained your situation to the unamused cashier and excused yourself to take a look around the store. Half an hour ticked by, and you're sure you've looked through every aisle about three times each, but your wallet was nowhere to be seen.

And to think your new life here was sailing smoothly.

Trudging back home begrudgingly, you made a silent note about the man's appearance. It didn't help that you only caught a glimpse of his backside, but you only had chestnut brown hair and a skateboard to work with. It wasn't much, but it was something at least.

"Don't give me that look," you scolded your cat gently, "I'll bring you tuna another day."

The gray feline gave you a blank stare before curling against the windowsill.

In all the days he's lived, Yeosang thinks today is most likely his worst. He pays no mind to the scrambling and angry Seonghwa, who is trudging around the house with an apron and gloves, grumbling (read: yelling) to himself about how the place looks like 'a disgusting man-cave that even a pig would be ashamed of'. Sure, the coffee table and kitchen were always littered with half-drunk, chipped coffee mugs, used tissues, torn magazines, San's cat treats, and random phone chargers, but in all honesty, it wasn't that bad.

Also, Yeosang had a major headache, and Seonghwa's nagging really didn't do anyone any favor. And quite frankly, he didn't give a rat's ass; He had other important matters to attend to.

"Wow," a loud laugh rings throughout the large living room, "You've royally fucked up this time, haven't you?"

"Who fucked up?" Mingi asks from the kitchen. He carefully stirs a pot of noodles while his blue haired companion stares impatiently from over his shoulder. If the lack of hygiene didn't kill them, it'll be the sodium instead. That, or San's crumb-filled, backwash water bottles.

"Yeosang fucked up," Wooyoung replies in amusement at his friend's dismay. The brunette picks his head up and gives the laughing boy a menacing look.

"Shut up," he grumbles, a hand running through his locks in frustration, "They don't need to know."

"What don't we need to know?"

As if on cue, a redhead plops down onto the sofa beside Wooyoung and a snickering San. There's some suspicion in the tone of his voice, and Yeosang doesn't like it. Hongjoong peers at the two in question, his eyes then studying the look of betrayal on Yeosang's features.

The brunette bristles angrily from his spot, "Don't say it-"

"Yeosang apparently stole a wallet," Jongho mumbles quietly from his spot on the floor. He squints in concentration at the word puzzle below him, not paying the older boys any mind.

Hongjoong quirks a brow, not quite understanding, "Okay? But doesn't he do that daily? What's the problem?"

Yeosang shifts his annoyed glare to the giggling San.

"Apparently, the wallet belongs to his soulmate," San smiles deviously, quickly snatching the brown leather item from the coffee table to showcase to Hongjoong, "See? Same birthmark and all."

Hongjoong's eyes widen as he assesses the identification card within the wallet, his jaw going slack.

Mingi noisily slurps his noodles while entering the living room, Yunho trailing behind him not too long after, "Oh, wow. Yeosang really did fuck up this time," he says with a mouthful of noodles. He and the blue haired male share a look of amusement, before both erupting into fits of laughter.

The brunette dropped his head once more into the safety of his arms, shoulders slumping in defeat at the sound of the other boys' laughter, "Why me?"

Another week and another paycheck later, you finally had enough for a recent trip to the market. You peered down at your work attire, grimacing at the embarrassing sight of red sauce stains. It'll be a quick run, so maybe nobody will take notice.

Grabbing a few cans of cat food and other items, you grimaced at the heavy weight of the hand cart straining your muscles. You sighed gently, turning to walk into another aisle when a blur of man invaded your vision. A heavy weight sent you flying to the floor, the items in your cart spilling and rolling down the aisle as the stranger groaned atop of your frame.

"Shit, I'm sorry-"

Your mind took a few extra seconds to process just exactly what occurred, and when you blearily took note of the flipped skateboard to your left and the mop of brown hair invading your vision.

A pair of wide eyed brown eyes met your own, and you silently gaped at the handsome stranger sprawled on top of you. You gaze at him as if you truly saw the sun for the first time, utterly captivated by the way his eyes widen ever so slightly. Swallowing thickly at the close proximity and the soft puffs of his breath fanning your burning face, you study his features intently, "Oh, wow.. you're.."

You really don't think you've ever seen a man as handsome-

You suddenly gasped.

"You!"

The man hastily sat up, eyes wide and mouth agape as he wordlessly took in your disheveled appearance. Before he had the chance to open his mouth for an apology, you fisted the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer to assert dominance, "You took my wallet, didn't you?"

Instead of replying, he casually brushed the hair from your face and leaned forward to gaze at your left eye, his own widening at the sudden sight. You hastily slapped his hand away with a scoff of disbelief, "What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Your birthmark.."

He suddenly snapped out of his train of thought, eyeing you in mild amusement while digging into his back pocket for an item. When you caught sight of the familiar brown leather of your wallet, you released a gasp of disbelief, giving him an accusatory look of anger, "I knew it!"

"I was looking for you actually- to return it," he curtly started, brows quirking up as you quickly snatched it from his hands. He gives you a brief glance, a glint of amusement in his eyes, before he stands and offers you a hand, to which you stubbornly ignore. You hurriedly stand and save the small crumb of dignity you have left. You quickly study the inside of your wallet, brows knitting in confusion at the untouched money.

"Cut the bullshit," you scoffed, dusting your uniform and shooting him an unamused stare, "You stole it—" you blinked down at the skateboard before returning your hard stare at the male, "Who even rides that thing inside- I- nevermind."

You ignored his attempt at helping you pick up your items off the floor, defensively snatching the canned goods from his hands, "I don't need your help! You've done more than enough!"

"I'm Yeosang," he hesitantly offered his hand. He towered over your frame with an awkward smile.

"Yeah? And I don't care," you grumbled, turning away to saunter off to the cashier. The smile instantly vanished from his features, and he reached over to grasp your elbow.

"Wait-" he calls after you, "Give me a minute to explain!" He tugs you back, and you nearly stumble against his chest.

In all fairness, you've just found the thief who stole your wallet, and you quite frankly don't think he deserves any form of respect whatsoever.

You attempt to wrench your arm from his grasp, but he only tightens his grip with a determined expression on his flushed face.

"You have five seconds to let go of me, or else."

The fumes of Hongjoong's nail polish in the air and an obnoxious splutter of laughter greeted him once he stepped foot inside the large home. Why did he ever agree to live with seven other monsters?

His brow twitched in annoyance.

Three heads from the living room turned to gaze questioningly at the frustrated brunette.

"What the hell happened to you?" wheezed an amused Wooyoung from the sofa. Yeosang wanted to wipe that stupid smile off his face and-

"I take it things didn't go well for lover boy," San grinned from the floor, hands occupied with running along his cat's fur.

"Got his ass handed to him by his soulmate, you think?" Jongho added casually whilst adjusting his posture and clicking away at the remote. The other two snorted with amused laughter.

"Aren't soulmates supposed to be infatuated with each other at first sight?"

"I don't know, San. Maybe Yeosang's case is special."

"I mean, he did steal-"

"Can you three please just shut up," he seethes, rummaging through the freezer for a bag of frozen vegetables. He simply walks past Yunho's confused form in the hallway, grumbling about how he doesn't want to talk about it.

You thought you had seen the last of that pest, but the very next day, you practically choked at the sight of the male walking into the coastal cafe you worked at.

"What are you doing here!?"

"Y/n, wait-" he grimaced, hands raising up defensively, "Give me a minute to explain."

He even had the audacity to dodge your question.

"How do you know my-" you gave him a puzzled look, before your expression darkened, "Oh. Right. You stole my wallet, of course you snooped through my ID."

He gave you an awkward smile, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly, "I forgive you for giving me a black eye."

He notices your dumbfounded look.

"Huh. I don't recall ever apologizing to you," you begin, "And I never told you where I work, either. You've been stalking me, haven't you?"

"No. You were wearing the uniform of this place yesterday actually," he points a matter-of-factly. Clearing his throat, he peered around, thankful at the lack of customers this early in the morning, "I uh.. I think- I think you're my soulmate."

You pause your ministrations.

"Come again?"

Rolling his eyes, he sighs, shoulder slumping as he repeats himself whilst pointing to his left eye, "I think we're soulmates. You and I share the same birthmark and-"

A loud laugh escaped your lips, "You are most definitely not my soulmate. Birthmark or not," you turned to assemble utensils and napkins, fully disregarding his presence, "I'm not interested in thieves. Now if you'll leave me alone, I have some work to do."

"But you felt a connection too, didn't you? Yesterday, in the market-" he drawled in amusement, leaning over the countertop in a teasing manner, "I know you feel it when you look at me."

"The only thing I feel when I look at you is a mind-splitting headache," you grumble while adjusting the radio station to your liking.

A minute of silence passes. His face scrunches in distaste.

"What on earth is that insufferable noise?"

"That's called rock music." You roll your eyes, "Now leave me alone."

You take sudden interest in the dirty speckle you find on one spoon, and maybe if you stare hard enough at it, he'll disregard you and leave.

Your head perks at the sound of a chair dragging against the floor.

"Serve me."

"What the hell did you just say?" you spluttered belligerently, turning around with a look of pure disbelief. Your eye twitched at the sight of him taking a seat so casually on one of the booth chairs. "You think you're so funny, don't you?"

"I honestly don't, but—" He studied you with humor in his eyes, his fingers drumming along the wooden countertop, "my friends say that I am."

"I don't know who you think you are, but you-"

"A customer."

"Oh, piss off," you give up and turn to continue wrapping pairs of utensils together, "I'm not serving you."

"Is everything alright there, y/n?" called the tiny, elderly lady from the back, "Do we have a customer already?" Your head turns to eye the small, gray-haired woman exiting the kitchen, "Oh! A handsome fellow. What would you like to drink, young lad?"

Your eyes widen and your heart nearly drops to the floor.

Your orbs turn to slits as Yeosang gives you a sleazy smile, "Coffee for now, actually."

The poor napkin crumples into a wrinkly mess in your fist.

Oh, this bastard. This slimeball. You'll make him pay.

"Y/n! Take the man's order and start brewing the coffee!"

"Yes, Mrs. Lee!" You turned back to give the brunette a sour look, "The faster you order, the faster you'll leave. So what the hell do you want?"

The next day was much busier than the last.

You're particularly disturbed by the way two males stare at you like deer in headlights every time you pass by their table. They're young looking, maybe around your age. Kind of handsome, too- but they really don't know how to be discreet in the slightest.

Tired of the staring, you pause suddenly, giving them a look of concern as they suddenly dart their eyes and find extreme interest in the salt and pepper shakers in between them, "Is everything alright here?"

For a moment, they stay quiet.

"You're fine," the black haired one replies with a delirious smile, his head resting in his palm. He startles as the blonde elbows him in the side with a harsh whisper of Wooyoung!, and he jumps upright, back stiff and voice growing louder, "Uh! I- uh, I mean- it's fine! Everything is fine!"

"Okay.." you slowly draw out with furrowed brows.

The blonde grimaces in embarrassment, shielding his face with his hand as he looks off to the side in shame, "Can you at least try not to embarrass us?"

"In my defense, Yeosang never said his soulmate was that hot in person!? I could've used a warning, y'know?"

The bell on the door jingles and immediately catches your attention. You walk to the front with a smile only for it to instantly fall at the sight of the familiar mop of brown hair.

"Not you.." you sigh, your head in your hand as you stare in dismay out the window, "Why does the universe hate me?"

"Why are you complaining?" He quipped back with a playful bite, "Weren't you the one staring at me all day yesterday?"

"I was making sure you weren't going to steal anything," you narrowed your eyes at his growing smirk. He leans over the flaky, wooden podium and simpers at the sight of your panic stricken face, "Stop, you look like a creep."

"I know a liar when I see one," he sighed with a shake of his head. Reaching over to pluck out a stray fuzz of dust from your hair, he shoots you a determined frown, "The only thing I'm ever going to steal from here is your heart."

"I- that's kind of gross. Flirting is against the law on these premises," you stutter out, brows furrowing and nose flaring. You refuse to give in to his flirtatious remarks. You're also thankful the podium conceals your wobbly legs.

"Who the hell made that stupid rule?"

"Me. Now what do you want?"

"Such welcoming service skills you have there," he mumbles sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.

"Let me guess. You want chicken and a soda, right?"

Across the room, the two boys shared a quick look before one leaned over to whisper in the other's ear. They both nod in unison, before throwing you knowing grins and snorting as they munched quietly on their food.

"Correct," he says with a steady cold voice, "And a body-bag if you have any, please."

Before you processed his words, he sauntered off to the table of the two boys, their complexions paling at the sudden angry demeanor of the brunette. His hands quickly reach forward to tug both of their ears as he quietly berates them.

"I told you not to come here!" he ignores the way Wooyoung laughs and whines in protest as he's practically pulled off his seat by his ear.

"We're not doing anything! We're just eating!"

"Eating my ass, you're-"

"Oh, gross. I'm not gonna do that. Maybe you should ask y/n-"

You and other patrons stop to gaze at the commotion at the back of the cafe, and you roll your eyes at the disturbance, before walking back over to another table to collect the money and bill.

A few minutes pass and kitchen bell rings. You look back to see the fried chicken plate steaming on the countertop, along with a large glass of bubbling soda.

The duo discreetly peek up to stare at your form, only to startle at the unwavering glare from Yeosang.

"Fried chicken and a large coke?"

"Mhm," Yeosang meets your eyes, and you internally pester yourself at the sensation of your cheeks and ears flaming. How absolutely dare he make your stomach churn like this, "Thanks, y/n."

"Say, y/n. Are you new to these parts? I wouldn't forget a pretty face like yours if I saw one," mused the black haired male. Yeosang threw a hard stare at the younger, and the latter shrunk a bit in his seat, the same mischievous smile unwavering on his features.

"I moved here about a month ago," you stated simply. A moment ticks by and the trio argue in a hushed manner.

"Well, we'll take our leave now!"

"Good luck, Yeosang!" the blonde called out suddenly, throwing a thumbs up in the air whilst hastily making their way out of the cafe, the little bell signaling their departure.

His eyes glance at you momentarily, before he clears his throat and looks away.

Your eyes narrow suddenly at the brown haired man.

"You're paying for their lunch, right?"

He chokes on a bite of his chicken.

"Where are you going?"

"Out," Yeosang says hurriedly, fingers stumbling as he attempts to tie his laces.

"Where?" presses Wooyoung with a large smile.

Yeosang doesn't reply and instead throws open the coat cabinet to look around for his ripped, acid-wash jacket.

"Guys! Yeosang's treating us at y/n's cafe!"

Excited jeers come from some of the rooms, and Yeosang can only stare in utter horror and disbelief at his best friend.

Today was definitely going to be the worst day of his life.

A week passes by, and you suddenly catch yourself feeling almost disappointed that Yeosang hadn't come to visit you.

You want to slap yourself for having such thoughts, and take out your frustrations by wiping one of the tables aggressively.

And the bastard was spot on about that stupid feeling you got in the pit of your stomach at the mere thought of him.

But, you were keen on wanting nothing to do with him.

Not after the trouble he put you through.

Soulmate or not.

Besides, he was technically a criminal. Sort of.

He had a charming smile though. And really pretty lips.

And maybe you found him to be the most handsome man you've-

"He's not handsome!" You blurted to your reflection on the wet table. A table of customers feet away pause their conversation and give you a look of bewilderment.

"Uh," a voice pipes from a few feet away, "Table for eight, please?"

Your heart suddenly leaps at the familiar voice and thw corners of your lips perk up in happi-

Pausing, you internally scold yourself for being unable to conceal your excitement.

This stupid attraction you had towards him left your mind scrambling for coherent thoughts- and curse that feeling of your stomach doing back flips. You fight the urge to punch your gut to rid yourself of that disturbing sensation.

You internally groan, not even bothering to turn around to know who had just spoken. You stand up straight, clearing your throat and awkwardly folding the wet towel in your hands. Yeosang stood at the entrance, an unamused expression on his face as the other seven behind him nosily peered over each other's shoulders to spare you a curious glance.

"Uh," you begin, looking back at the empty tables, "You can sit right here. I'll go grab some menus."

As the eight men made their way to the table, you overheard one laugh loudly to the others, "Wooyoung was right! Y/n is pretty cu-"

A jerk underneath the table and loud yelp caught your attention, and you instantly threw Yeosang a look as the other boys timidly settled in their seats. He caught your gaze and rolled his eyes.

Oh, the nerve he had.

And to think you actually missed his presence.

You learned that the seven other boys were a loud bunch, often saying something to fluster and piss off the brunette. Especially when you were in earshot. And, sweet heavens, they can eat.

Your arms were practically sore from the amount of times you walked back and forth carrying their orders.

You watched as Yeosang finished with his meal and leaned against the adjacent wall, arms crossed in annoyance and face turned to the side to stare out of the window. Your eyes study the others before flickering back at him, and you can’t help but feel a small, knowing tug of want in your chest. You instantly straighten up at the thought, shaking your head in dismissal, before walking over to collect some of the empty plates.

"Would any of you like some dessert?"

A blue haired man wiggled his brows.

"Yeosang wants some, isn't that right-"

Another kick and another glare.

"Actually, we'll just have four cheesecakes if you don't mind."

Ah. Finally. A decent, well-mannered being really does exist.

You can immediately discern that the red-headed man, despite being the smallest, held a leader-like aura to himself, given how the other boys suddenly fell quiet when he spoke. They look amongst each other and nod in agreement.

When the boys wrapped up and fought amongst each other about the payment, your shift neared its end. You nodded with a polite smile as they filed out the door with boisterous cries of 'thank you, y/n'!

"Sorry," a voices suddenly says, and you give the brunette a quizzical look, "If they were too loud.. or embarrassing."

"That's okay," you shook your head and shrugged lightly, "It wasn't a big deal. I'm used to loud customers."

"Right. So, uh.." he pursed his lips, words dying out in his throat as he glances around the cafe with nervous eyes, "Thanks- ah, for the food. See you soon!"

Before you had the chance to reply, the bell chimed and you were left alone in the cafe.

"You have a cat!?"

Your nearly jump out of your skin at the loud remark in your ear, and you immediately spin around threateningly.

Hovering behind you were those same two boys from the other week. You mentally make a note to find an ENT doctor soon. And perhaps a cardiologist.

"Yeah-" you squint in confusion as the black haired male leans forward to study your features. You gently push his face away with an uncomfortable grimace, "What are you doing?"

"You really do have the same birthmark as Yeosang, I can't believe it."

"Yeah, neither can I," you hum sarcastically, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cat to feed."

"What's your cat's name?" The blonde practically bounces in his step as he follows you into another aisle. You want to ask why he's filming the rows of snacks with a small video camera, but you decide to save yourself the headache and not bring it up.

You peer back at the duo with a look of disbelief, "Why are you following me?"

"You're interesting."

"Right."

"We should really have a cat play-date. Is your cat a boy or a girl?"

You sigh as you place a bag of chips into your cart, deciding to amuse them for a brief moment, "Pepper is a male."

"Great! Byeol needs a man," the blonde, San- you think, nods in excitement.

"What kind of a friend are you? Set up your friend before you set up your cat," scoffs Wooyoung with an amused snort. His hands grab at the large bags of barbecue flavored chips, and you contemplate giving the back of his head a whack when he sets them into your cart.

They continue to follow you through the aisles, and while a small part of you wants to tell them off, another part of you can't help but laugh in amusement and endearment at their antics and bickering.

Once you've finished shopping, you bid them a farewell, handing Wooyoung his chips and strolling over to the cashier. Your head suddenly perks up at the commotion over by the fruit section, and you only can stare in bewilderment at the ruckus the other boys create whilst shopping for necessities. A store employee stares nervously as one of the boys juggles a bundle of bananas and oranges, while another nearly stumbles back from the other two dancing aggressively in the aisles. You wonder if this was a regular occurrence, and judging by the way the manager walks by without a care in the world, you conclude it indeed is.

You step outside afterwards, placing the bags into your bicycle's basket, before mounting it and debating whether to look back into the market at the rowdy bunch.

Your eyes catch Yeosang staring at you, and bite your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. He's riding that damned thing again, and he pauses for the briefest moment to give you a wave.

You find yourself mindlessly waving back, and you abruptly stop once you realize your actions. You hastily throw your arm down to your side and attempt to glare in his direction, but he's already looked away with a large smile plastered on his features.

Most days working at the cafe were fine. People ate, some lingered longer to catch up with friends and play round of card games, and others came to take advantage of the happy hour specials.

But then there were some days you wanted to throw all your dignity in the nearest disposable bin, and wrestle down obnoxious patrons.

You huffed in anger at the sight of an empty table.

What kind of grown up decides to dine and ditch?

Isn't that what... children do?

It's when you stack their empty plates in your hands and turn towards the kitchen do you spot Yeosang walking towards you.

"Now is not the time," you start, hoping your annoyance isn't that obvious.

He silently hands you a wallet.

You quirk a brow, setting the plates down onto the table, "That's not mine?"

"Open it," he says with a roll of his eyes.

You swear if he does that again, you'll roll his head.

You furrow your brows and snatch it out of his hands. Your eyes widen at the picture of the very same man who left without paying, and you instantly shifted your attention to the brunette, "You did not just.."

"I'm sure all that cash is triple the amount his lunch costs," he replies with a wink, "It's no big deal."

"I can't," you swallow, shaking your head and handing him back the wallet, "I can't take this. It's considered stealing."

He gives you an unimpressed look.

"So?" he reaches over to flick your forehead, earning him a glare, "Stop being such a goody two shoes. He stole your service, so you steal his money. It's only fair, right?"

"I'll just take the amount he owes.." you speak unsurely, brows knitting in contemplation. He hands you a few bills, and you nod, "Yeah. This is just enough to-"

"And a tip."

He shoves the remaining money into your apron and your hand flies to smack his arm in shock, "No! I said-"

"Yeah, well I said you deserve a tip!"

"It's not my money!" you scold him.

"I stole it, so it's considered mine now, and I want to tip you! Stop being so stubborn, and just accept it!"

It's when you stop struggling do you notice the extreme proximity of the disgruntled male. He's so unbelievably close that you can make out the borders of the birthmark that mirrors your own. You don't waver as you stare back him with widened eyes.

"Y'know, you're kind of cute when you're mad," he begins sheepishly, eyes narrowing in thought as he inspects your features, "Uh. Since you're new to town, maybe I can show you around whenever you're free?"

Stepping back, you brush out the wrinkles of your apron and straighten your back.

"I'm not going on a date with you," you counter simply. You turn your face to glare out the window, but he stares knowingly at your burning face.

"Whoa, hold on," he smiles in amusement, "Date? Who said anything about it being a date?" You flush at his words, eyes narrowing. He laughs at your lack of amusement, "It's not a date, okay? Just think of it as a.. friendly welcoming gift. And an apology for, y'know. The whole stealing your wallet thing. Besides, my friends want to come anyway."

You cross your arms defensively and ponder for a while.

"Fine, but I expect an ice cream cone as a welcoming gift as well," you try and ignore that absurd feeling of butterflies fluttering in the pit of your stomach. You want to roll your eyes as his features suddenly brighten at your agreement, but you don't. Unable to breathe within the awkward atmosphere, you turn to clear the remaining utensils and plates off the table, "So, uh. I'm free tomorrow, I think. I guess you need my number, right?"

"Oh, no need. I already saved it." You swivel around to see him quirking his brow at your phone.

Oh, he didn't.

You instantly slap your hands onto your back pockets, your heart nearly dropping at the lack of the device, "Y'know, you really should put a passcode on this thing. Also, nice background picture you got there."

This obnoxious little-

He laughs out loud as you swipe the phone angrily from his hold and snap the dry towel onto his chest in retaliation, "Stop pickpocketing me!"

"I can't! Not until I have your heart," he leaves with an amused wave of his hand and a soft laugh, "Besides, you make it too easy. See you tomorrow!"

"Who was that?" asks Mrs. Lee as she waddles out of the kitchen with a large tray of pastries. Her eyes are wide behind her wide-brimmed glasses, and she attempts to tip-toe over the countertop to catch a glimpse of the retreating figure outside.

You contemplate your next words for a moment and bite your cheek to keep a smile at bay, "My stupid soulmate."

[cultofstan]

My love for Bane!!

Before you read, I want to make it clear that there are some nsfw parts to this posts. If you are under 18, please don't read!

This post will go over various details and reasons why my heart belongs to the big green giant know as Bane from Batman and Robin (1997). Get ready for a long read, because I've got a lot to say.

(If you haven't check out my Bane Wallpapers, go do check them out! They bring me so much joy, I hope they do the same for you ppl too!)

His mask is very cool and unique, because if you look closer you see they used Bane's comic book mask as a base and then just changed the mouth area and added black eye pieces on top of the red piece he normally sees out of. Imo, it is the best movie Bane mask we have ever had! A lot of people hate the multiple tubes coming out of his head, but I think it makes things extra spicy! A constant reminder that your not just dealing with any normal super human, you dealing with a venom infused one that can fight you like it's nothing! The bulging veins that can be seen in certain lighting is a detail I feel deserves more love. It adds to his big and tough demeanor. You can really tell the venom is working wonders on him! The zipper on the top of the head and the fact that his mask is most likely made of tight leather or latex brings thr entire thing together and is truly a marvel to look at! I absolute love it!💚Imagining him slick that smooth, stretchy, husky mask on while the venom starts to pump into his brain and muscles just does things to me. If Bane offered me a chance to wear it, venom or not, I would do it in a heart beat! It would probably reek of sweat, his bad breath, and of old leather, but I wouldn't care. Just the thought of inhale all those smells brings me a joy I can't describe! 😍

When I was a kid, in addition to his lovely mask, his clothing choice was another thing I loved about him. It looks like Bane is just wearing a black cotton tank top with some black sturdy pants, but I've always the headcannon that it's actually very flexible black latex one piece! It makes a lot more sense when you notice his collar, chest harness, wrist bands, crotch diaper, and boots are also make out of a harder leather with spikes and studs! I swear, half of my clothing choices/dreams come from this man! His boots, for the most part, are very frankenstein/gothic inspired with thick sole and it going all the way to his knees. The copper rivets are the only things that make them stand out, imo. I've had thoughts were in order to prove my love to him I have to lick or kiss his boots while he judges. I'd hate it for the most part, because they probably taste like dirty and dust, but I want him to know that I do love him, so I'd do small smooches starting from his toes and work my way up his leg until I'm straight up licking his boots. I'd get so carried away he'd probably make me stop pretty quickly so I don't get sick 😂. His spiked collar and wrist bands are easily the clothing items I want the most! Any time I see someone on the street with spikes in their clothing I immediately think about him. Because he's worn them for so long, they're probably not that tight or rough but still firm enough to not sag. Maybe even a little flaky in certain parts. I don't think I'm comfortable with myself enough to wear a collar in public but I've come so close to buying spiky wrist bands or gauntlets it's crazy I don't actually own a pair yet. One day, I'm sure. His crotch diaper, for lack of a better name for it, is the one thing I'm 50/50 on. Some days I think it really adds to his look, especially with the spikes that go out. Plus, to a certain extent, it makes practical sense because that way heroes cant go from behind his and try to restrain him, or can't throw too many kicks, without getting poked/cut by the spikes. But other days I think it just doesnt look that great, because it ultimatly looks like a big metal diaper, it takes away from his intimidation. Plus, I won't be able to give him proper hugs! (I want to give daddy all the hugs he deserves! 💚) His chest piece is what brings everything together. The little Bane symbol is so cute, I've always looked for a pin or something to buy but no luck. I actually used to have this Bane cape that I won at Six Flags when I was little. I cut the symbol of his face out of it and tried multiple times to attach it to my jean jackets but I suck at sowing. 🥲 The leather straps that hold the chest piece compliment the other leather pieces of his outfit. The metal looking chest piece looks wonderful and adds a layer to his character that I both love and hate. In this movie he's a drone, a mindless agent that is only allowed to follow orders. I'll will discuss this in a bit. But for the record, I hate the fact that Bane is written as big dumb idiot in this movie. It's the one big problem I have with him, which sucks because I literally love everything else about him!

I've probably watch the Bane transformation scene in Batman and Robin, like, a thousand times. No joke. I didn't realize it then, but seeing a short, thin, twink become a tall, hulking, king really hit my desires in the right way. Like, now, I know for sure that's one of my kinks and it makes me so damn happy! Granted, I've never been skinny in my life, but I've always wanted to be a musclar and strong man, so it makes sense why I love this scene so much. It's a literally fantasy of mine brought to life! More specifically, I've always wanted to be a type of strong that allows me to run miles like it's nothing, throw punches that instantly knock someone out, and lift so much weight that I borderline have a superhero body. Don't get me wrong, this is seriously mentally unhealthy because I know it's kind of impossible considering my personality and the actuality of gaining so much muscle, but I believe as long as I realize it's a dream and not beat myself up over it, it's not too bad of a thought to have. Actually, if you think about it, this Bane is kind of a plus size body representation. Sure he's got giant arms that can crush my bones like tooth pics, but he's pretty bulky with a big belly. That might be too much of a stretch to say, and I totally understand if people don't agree with. That being said, I have to say it, this man probably gives the best hugs in all of Gotham! He's so big that you don't even need a jacket in the house! Just let him embrace you and you'll never feel alone or cold again! His thick hands holding you in really tight, his muscles locking you in and warming your arms, while his gut pushes you back a little of your feet, like he wants to swoop you into his arms and carry you! 🥰 He'd be careful with his spikes of course, don't worry. A detail that sends me over the moon about Bane in this movie is his green skin. I can't put my finger on it, but it really adds to the whole transformation and therefore my thirst for him grows even bigger! Especially because it's completely unique to the movie. It looks so good that I wonder why the comics haven't adopted something similar.

I could go for hours about how I think the writers butchered Bane's character in this movie, but I want this post to mainly act as a positive appreciation post/background for head cannons that I might post about him one day. So to end, and give a taste, I'll finally talk about Bane being a drone in this movie. In weird way, because he's played as a mindless servent, it makes this version of Bane one of the easier Bane's for me to fantasies about. This is because in the movie, it's implied Bane only follows Poison Ivy because she was the first person he didn't see as a threat. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if she used some of her suductive powers on him. (I would too, just saying) So, with that established, I like that he's a mindless drone because it means that, in my head, he's not exactly my "servant" but he will basically do whatever I say. Why? Because I will prove to him I not a threat either, and only want to love him!! He'll have a concuious and his own goals, and I'll follow along and help because I trust him and want to support him, but, for the most part, he will do what I say and love me in return. I could explain this more, but I want to save the juicy parts for the follow up post I have planned for this. 😏

If you've read this far, thank you. From the bottom of my hear. I've never wrote something this personal or long. I hope I can continue to do more of these, if I'm passionate enough.

[babbling-idiot]

Lance Bishop x reader (Aliens)

Requested: "Yo dude! Would you be able to write a Bishop x reader where the reader is kinda depressed and the only thing that cheers her up is singing? So to help her feel better Bishop puts on some 70s music and they’re slow dancing and she’s singing and it’s just a cute happy time???? " By @soggy-enchilada

Warning: Fluff

(Hey there, so I haven't posted in a hot second. I just had some really bad writers block and also the fact that I run out of ideas pretty frequently, so in conclusion to that ordeal I made a second blog but don't worry I still check this one, but anyways I hope you enjoy!)

Bishop wasn't one that really understood human emotions well. All he knew was the way people acted towards certain things. He understood anger and how it starts, he also kind of understood happiness. And as of feelings of being sad, he had a hard time understanding. He had seen some people cry because of a death or a breakup. But he just didn't understand when you got sad.

You had been setting yourself at a distance. Not talking or being in contact with anyone, this was making alot of people worried. Truth be told, you had been feeling depressed lately. Over something that some would probably scoff at, but to you this was a matter of your emotions getting the better of you. You couldn't help it, you were human and that had disadvantages in a way. You hadn't told anyone of your current situation, but you could only imagine what people were thinking when they realized you were missing in action. You knew you would have to give some kind of explanation to them when you came out of your room. And thankfully non of them had came to your room yet to question you. Or at least that was what you thought, because at that very second a certain android had realized your absence and was beginning to get quite worried for you. So, to make sure you were ok he was on his way to your room. Without you knowing of course.

'Knock, Knock'

You look over at your door from your sitting position on your bed. Giving a slight questioning look. You hear two more and a voice that sounded almost like an automated voice mail. "Y/n are you in there?" It was bishop. Of course it was him, of course he'd come here. You sighed out and gave a "Yeah..." barley above a whisper, yet he could still hear it loud and clear. So he opened your door with little to no trouble even though it was locked. "How did you do that?" "Do what?" You gestured to the door. "Oh well that is best explained at another time, my main concern is you. Are you ok? Why haven't you left your room? Have you eaten?" He started to ramble off question that you barley had enough time to even grasp. You raise a hand and he stops "Bishop, I haven't left because I'm not in the best......state? And yes, I have eaten just not alot.." He blinks a few time and stand up to observe the "food" you had eaten in the past day or two. Which did not look like enough to even satisfy someone. "You are not in a good healthy state right now. You have not eaten enough food and I have to get you some. I'll be right back." He says as he walks towards the door. "Wait! No! Don't leave!" He stops as he grasps the door nob. Turning to look at you he tilts his head. "But you need food." "I will eat if you just stay, I don't want to be alone. I thought I wanted to be alone but I dont now." He nods his head and walks over to your bed, sitting at your feet. "What is the matter? I am not capable of knowing how you really feel so please tell me. I am concerned about you." He says looking at you with hope in his eyes? "I promise I will tell you what I'm going though, but I dont think I have the guts to tell you." He stares at you blankly "Are these signs of depression?" You frown slightly while nodding your head. He nods his head and doesn't say anything else. He doesn't know what else to talk about and neither do you. It wasn't an awkward silence but it was comfortable. The fact that he wasn't like all the others who would bombard you with endless question made you happy. In all the short silence you had been singing a song in your head, it being 'How deep is your love by the Bee Gees. You hadn't even realized till now that you had been humming it out loud for about a minute. Bishop had heard you humbing and recognized the song and soon realized that you had a record player in your room. You also had a box full of records. So he stood and walked over to them without you actually noticing. He grabbed the Bee Gees best hits record and began to place it on the player. After turning it on and placing the needle on the right song, it began to play.

'I know your eyes in the morning sun. I feel you touch me in the poring rain. And the moment you wander far from me. I wanna feel you in my arms again...'

When the song filled your ear you smiled. Lifting your head to look straight at bishop as he gave a almost near perfect human smile. He extended his hand towards you. Grabbing it it was slightly cold but from the heat of the blankets made it slightly warmer. He twirled you around as you stood up fully and brung you closer. You laughed at how cliche this was. Bringing both hands to your waist and your on his shoulders, you both began to sway to the rhythm of the music. As you danced you began to sing.

"-And you come to me on a summer breeze, keep me warm in your love and then softly leave, and it's me you need to show, how deep is your love?"

You felt so at ease and so happy that you hadn't even realized that a smile had broken across your face as you sang. This was the only thing that made you happy in times like this. Either it was watching people get joy out of singing or listening to your favorite songs and belching out the words, it was all the same. Like now, you had found so much peace that you had layed your head on bishops shoulder, softly singing the rest of the song. He fully wraps his arms around your waist and brings you closer, he could feel your calm heartbeat against is synthetic chest. He wasn't human, but the feeling of your heartbeat against him made him feel alive. Made him wish he was human just so he could feel the emotion of being happy in the moment with you.

When the song began to come to a stop and "Staying Alive" began to play. He walked over to it and turned it down slightly. Walking back over to your standing form he held you against him once again. You smiled at him. "Your a good dancer bishop." "I was simply swaying to the music." "You have rhythm, not alot of people can say they have that especially androids. Plus your very nice to be around." You say as you lay your head back on his shoulder. He then lays his upon yours "You are the only human that has ever shown me real signs of care and compassion. I think I have grown to like you y/n." You smile even wider at this "I think I have too bishop." You both continue to sway to the beat. No word were spoken and the dancing wasn't looking to be stopped anytime soon. But one thing was for sure, that your small episode of depression had seemed to fade off into the distance. Like a forgotten tune. One that you hope would stay away for a long time. Especially since bishop had decided to come in and dance with you, it seemed to make your whole gloomy day brighten up. And luckily during that whole dancing you managed to not step on his toes.

(Well then that was actually really fun. Lmao! Thank you so much for this, it was fun and I got to bring out the inner music geek within me so thank you for that. Old music is like my things so any request like this I will put heart and soul into. Anyways thanks again and I hope you have an amazing day and stay safe out there in the world!)

[kiwikyuu]

━━━━━━━━ all the different shades of orange ; hinata shōyō

summary — whoever said that hinata shōyō is a ball of sunshine is a liar

word count — 3k

genre — imagine ; kinda enemies to lover, fluff

warning(s) — major spoilers about spring interhigh for those of you who haven't read the manga, insults thrown around, kinda out of character hinata, cursing, not edited

a/n — okay but have y'all seen e2l hinata shōyō besides kagehina lmao because i haven't and thought it'd be interesting to try out. also wow i have never put so much effort into a work like this one (hopefully it reaches a lot of people and you can all find some joy in reading!)

❝ WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING NEXT TIME, YOU ROTTEN BELL PEPPER. ❞

Hate was a strong word but the flaring anger in your heart and overwhelming urge to run into a wall whenever your eyes landed on that tangerine said otherwise. It wasn't that you went out of your way to dislike someone that has everyone wrapped around their finger. It just so happened that you had no tolerance for bullshit, and Hinata Shōyō pissed you off in every way possible.

It started on the first day of high school.

Walking beside Minari, a friend from middle school, the two of you were eager to leave the building. The idea of grabbing steamed buns had unraveled itself in your mind, and what better way to enjoy food than by sharing?

"Are you going to try out for any clubs?" Your elbow bumped against hers as you two walked the slowly emptying hallway. "I think I saw the girls soccer team holding tryouts soon."

Minari shrugged, but you could already see the thoughts pinging in her mind. "I might if I can."

See, the two of you had almost reached the staircase when it happened. Minari's long hair covered her view from time to time, so you were used to looking out for her while chastising the girl about the usefulness of a hairband. But what you didn't expect as you pulled the girl aside just as a gaggle of guys rushed by was the full strength of a short orange-haired boy catching you off guard and nearly sending you tumbling down the flight of stairs.

"I'm sorry! I - I didn't see you there!" He shouted, his hand coming out to latch instinctively onto your school uniform before you could be thrown back far. "And on the first day too... I'm so sorry! Please accept my apology."

You stared at the short boy standing before you looking positively green with anxiety and guilt. Minari was already calming him down with mentions of accepting his apology, but all you could focus on was the pounding beat of your heart and the tingling feeling in your legs from your near-fatal experience.

"Watch where you're fucking going next time, you rotten bell pepper," you muttered before pushing his fingers off your now wrinkled white shirt.

You had walked away first, Minari in tow, but not before catching the shine of his name tag, 'Hinata Shōyō,' and the wide-eyed stare on his face that sent shivers down your back.

From that day forward, every flash of orange around the school seemed to be followed by a glare on your end and a roll of eyes on his.

"You're in the way, pumpkin head." Your words cut through the chattering hallway and sliced at Hinata who in turn threw you a pointed look, something that all the First Year students knew by now was reserved for only you. "I'm trying to get to the library, but somebody's walking too slow. Aren't you supposed to be on the volleyball team?"

Hinata scoffed, but stepped aside to let you through. Dirty looks were all he had in his armory apparently as time after time after sending an insult or two his way, he held his tongue. You liked to think it was because he didn't have the proper brain cells to form a response, but sometimes you wondered if you were being too much.

Up ahead, Minari waved at you to hurry before all the seats at the library were taken. Shaking yourself of your thoughts, you walked over to her. Unbeknownst to you, while you shouldered your bag, your wallet tipped over and fell out at a certain somebody's feet.

Hinata picked up your ratty wallet, noticing it on the floor, and went to call out to you before catching himself. What did he care? Still, unable to ignore it, he pocketed your belonging making note to give it back to you later. Right now, he had a game to worry about.

Somehow you had ended up at the Karasuno vs. Aoba Johsai game during the Interhigh Preliminaries. Minari had dragged you up to the stands as discreetly as possible after convincing you that she wasn't feeling up to study. Considering she had her eyes set on a certain 5'10 blueberry, you were foolish enough to think that she'd wanted to take you some place fun.

Now as the two of you stared down at the game happening eagerly, you let out a sigh upon noticing Hinata. As if your day couldn't have gotten worse after misplacing your wallet, you were displeased to find that he was looking right back up at you with the same wide-eyed stare he had when you two had first met.

Shivers ran down your back almost as if on cue, and you tore your gaze away from him fully ready to leave the gymnasium and trudge back home. But had you turned away, you would have missed the freakish oddball combination execute their quick attack.

"Holy shit," you breathed. "What the fuck was that?"

Minari smirked. "Tobio-kun is a great setter, isn't he? Or were you too focused on Mr. Bell Pepper to notice."

You shot her a frosty look, pushing down the stuttering emotion starting to rise in your chest that most definitely did not feel like anger. "As if."

The game continued for what seemed like days but turned out to be hours at most ending at a score of 1:2 in Aoba Johsai's favor.

Deafening silence overtook your ears. Minari was quick to leave the stands, mumbling something about consoling the fallen setter while your eyes searched for some semblance of sunshine in Hinata's sullen ones.

Spotting his sunken expression, you felt yourself regret the hatred that had sparked for him for just a moment. A fleeting moment that buried itself in your heart, planting a seedling of growing doubt.

"Minari, we have to catch the bus back!" You called out to your friend as you joined her on the gymnasium floor.

She glanced your way, halting the conversation she had began with her Tobio-kun. "Two minutes, and then we can go. Please?"

You nodded despite feeling discomfort crawling up your spine at being surrounded now by those you didn't know. You settled by the door, checking your phone mindlessly to pass the short time only looking up when an outstretched hand came into view.

"You dropped this earlier." Hinata's words were short, sharp, and you were suddenly glad you had never been on the end of his scathing remarks. "On your way to the library," he continued.

"Oh," was all your malfunctioning mind could come up with as he took your open hand in his, placing your wallet gently in your palm. The warmth of his skin seemed pressed into your own even after he had started to stalk away.

Clearing your throat, you spoke before you could stop yourself. "You did well today. I - uh," you paused. What were you even saying? "I watched from the stands."

He offered you a soft smile, one that you realized could light the world aflame, before walking back to his awaiting team.

You placed your hand over your drumming heart, sedating the flustered feeling he had left behind with you, chanting in your mind over and over again that Hinata Shōyō was a menace and you had no plan to ever like him let alone fall for him.

But no one ever plans to fall in love.

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club seemed to practice non-stop funnily enough, rather motivated by their loss from months ago instead of despaired. Minari had become a regular face during practice as she cheered the boys on in an attempt to woo Kageyama still, and by fault, so had you.

"Y/N, Tangerine's on his way over here." Minari nudged you, stealing your attention from the workbook open in your lap.

You shrugged, trying to focus on anything other than your slowly rising heartbeat. "Why? Did the coach bench him for his subpar plays?"

"No, actually Tangerine wanted to give you something but he's currently reconsidering."

You looked up immediately, eyes narrowing upon noticing Hinata standing in front of you with a small smirk. "You're looking really fucking smug for a guy who still needs to work on his skills. Kageyama says you lack basic technique."

Hinata rolled his eyes at you. "You're being rude."

"It's because I don't like you," you answered smoothly. "So get back to practice before you lose any more volleyball brain cells."

He let out a small laugh. Turning away, for a moment you thought he'd actually leave as simple as that, but just before he took another step, he tossed something your way. It fell on top of your workbook, smacking against the thin pages, causing a couple of the boys to look your way while Hinata jogged back to the net.

Minari leaned in closer to you. "He got you—" She cocked her head in confusion. "A wallet?"

It was a deep shade of orange that almost made you laugh out in irony. Detailed with card slots and a latch with snapping buttons, the wallet was definitely an improvement from the one you had right now.

"That's sweet... right?" Minari questioned, watching your expression as you opened the wallet to reveal a note — scratchy handwriting on a scrap of notebook paper.

'thought your wallet looked ratty old. not in a mean way of course!!!!

— your favorite, Pumpkin Head Shōyō

ps. my sister picked out the color :p'

"Stupid fucking carrot," you whispered under your breath, feeling your cheeks grow warm at his message. "I don't need a new wallet."

Minari scoffed at your words, turning to face you completely and taking your hands in hers with seriousness. "Be honest with me." You stared at her blankly. "Be honest, and tell me if you actually hate Hinata as much as you say you do. Why don't you just drop the act? You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?"

Her words echoed through the hallways of your mind minutes, hours, and days after. Sitting at your desk in school, on your walk home, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, they were as loud as life itself.

You thumbed the straps of your bag while waiting for the bus. The sun was slowly dropping from the sky, setting on the horizon leaving you in a thoughtful orange haze.

You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?

The weeks following were conflicting and chaotic. Exam season settled on Karasuno High School jolting the students and staff into a cloud of stress.

You spent your spare time at the library, eyes boring into material that just wouldn't stick while a certain rotten bell pepper took his seat next to you.

"I have to pass my finals or Sugawara senpai is going to nail me to a wall," Hinata explained, spreading his notebooks out on the desk and bumping his elbow against yours in the process. "You do well in your classes, right? Do you — " He looked abash. "D - Do you mind helping me?"

Against your better judgement, you nodded. Looking back now, you suppose that's where your odd friendship began.

Days on end, the two of you would stay behind to cycle through the material slowly building a tolerance of each other much to everyone's surprise.

"Do you still hate me?" The question came one night, the weekend before his exams.

Hinata looked at you from where he sat on the swings, kicking his feet at the sandy grounds. The two of you were at the park, cooling off after a long study session.

Your eyes fell to the can of convenience store coffee in your hands. The slight of the passing breeze drilled his question further in your mind.

"No, I don't think so," came your answer, words wobbly and unsure despite the thrum of your heart beating loudly against your chest and the warmth in your cheeks.

Silence filled the space between you two before Hinata finally spoke up again.

"Then do you like me?"

Your body felt lit aflame, mind jumping immediately to the way he made you feel things you hadn't much before. "As a friend," you decided after a moment of flustered emotions. "We're friends, I guess."

Hinata nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I like you." He took a deep breath. "As more than a friend, but if you feel that way then I'll wait for you. We have time."

His confession became lost among the flurry of thoughts and colliding emotions raging on inside you. Before you could say anything in response, Hinata got to his feet, shooting you that now familiar smile of his and offering you his hand.

The new year overwhelmed your senses like a storm of rain after a drought. Refreshed after the break, you returned to school with a new sense of purpose amplified by the motivation the new year always brings.

Hinata's confession had remained in your mind, pushed to the back by celebration but still bugging you every so often. The apricot haired boy had showed up, throwing ping pong balls (of all things) at your window to catch your attention over the break asking if you wanted to go grab something sweet with him. You promptly responded with a rejection, only to find yourself walking with him ten minutes later.

"How was your break?" Minari asked, bundled in a jacket, scarf, and hat. She joined you at your side, catching you on your walk from the bus stop to school.

You shrugged, pulling your puffy jacket closer to you. "It was okay. You?"

She smiled. "Hung out with Tobio-kun. We went for hot chocolate, and he taught me how to set." Her eyes seemed almost dazzling at the memory, and you laughed, pushing her lightly away.

"You and your Tobio-kun are positively gross," you said. "Absolutely—"

Your words were halted at the feeling of warm fabric settling around your neck and a known face popping up beside you with a proud smile.

"Stay warm. You can give it back to me later," Hinata said before jogging away to catch up with a pair of Second Year boys ahead.

Your hand came up to the green scarf around your neck, failing to form comprehensive sentences. Heart thundering, you ignored the funny looks others sent your way. Glancing at Minari, you caught her slipping giggles.

"What happened to Hinata Shōyō being a rotten bell pepper?"

"Shut up."

Lending you his scarf when days seemed too cold was just the beginning of it all. Days turned into weeks turned into months of Hinata pining after you and you—though obvious to everyone else—trying to decipher your feelings for him.

"Hey, I missed you," Hinata said to you lightly after you had agreed to drop something off for Kageyama on Minari's behalf. Quickly realizing the meaning of his words, however, Hinata corrected himself. "I mean—um, as in I m - missed you earlier. Like... like I didn't catch you today, you know?"

You tilted your head at him with endearment, a small smile playing across your lips at the sight of his blushing face. "Yeah, don't worry. I got it, sweet potato."

His flustered expression dropped. "You think I'm sweet?"

Your eyes widened, stuttering to form a response and correct yourself out of this situation you had suddenly been thrusted in. Luckily, Kageyama came to your rescue before you could embarrass yourself.

"Hinata, boke, stop flirting with Y/N!" The tall blueberry haired boy towered over Hinata with a menacing glare and a scoff. Kageyama turned to you with a blank look you took for an apologetic expression.

Shaking your head profusely, you put your hands up in surrender. "Ah, no worries, Kageyama. I—uh, I have something for you from Minari. She has classroom duties today, so she couldn't come herself."

Kageyama nodded, taking the wrapped bento box that Minari had prepared for him from your outstretched hands. He mumbled words of thanks before stalking off while muttering under his breath a colorful range of insults at Hinata who in turn sent him a funny face.

The Spring Interhigh was coming up, and you were sure the Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club was itching for redemption after what had happened last August. Deciding that you didn't want to interrupt their practice any further, you made move to leave only to stop at the feeling of a hand on your wrist.

Glancing back, you raised an eyebrow in surprise at Hinata's sudden action. "What are you—"

The tangerine boy had exchanged his lighthearted expression of just minutes ago with a look that you could only describe as properly motivated. "When we make it to Nationals, promise to give me a chance."

All around you, the gym seemed to fade until only Hinata was in your line of vision.

When we make it to Nationals, he had said, not if.

Unable to respond, you found yourself nodding because who were you to kid yourself at this point?

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club did, in fact, make it to Nationals, but unfortunately lost to Kamomedai High School in the quarter-final round while Hinata spent his time at the hospital.

Hooked up to an IV line and dressed in one of those flimsy hospital gowns, Hinata looked unusually weak laying down on the bed. The others had left not long after you had arrived though some took more convincing than others.

"Next time, you can keep your scarf to yourself," you said, cutting the silence short with a lighthearted remark.

Hinata smiled weakly at that, his hand coming to rest atop your folded ones on your lap. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

You shook your head. "Obviously, you can't take care of yourself." Slipping your hands from under his, you took the hand warmers out of your pockets and placed one in each of his hands. "Luckily, you got me."

His face lit up. "Oh, do I now?"

Warmth spread through your body as you looked away from his hopeful gaze. "Well, you did make it to Nationals."