#i don't know where did this self-blame wave came from but it's making me feel pretty shtty about myself...

[lanawinterscigarettes]

wait omg what abt a love quinn x reader where reader walks in on her murdering someone??

I love this idea! I hope I did it justice <3

Love Knows Best (Love Quinn x fem reader)

Warnings: murder, panic attack, manipulation/gaslighting, Love is kind of toxic here tbh (but we love her anyway)

You weren't supposed to be there.

Love had counted on you not returning home for another hour or so, which would've given her the perfect amount of time to kill Milo and dispose of his body before you arrive. Unfortunately for her, that's not what happened.

You'd mentioned the day before how you were feeling uncomfortable with him hanging around still when he should've left for Bali already, and she happened to agree with you. So what did she decide to do about it? Make him disappear, of course.

Her plan was to get rid of him and then act sad and heartbroken about him "leaving" without telling her goodbye. Not only would the excuse make perfect sense, but with him out of the picture she could focus more on her relationship with you. Not to mention you'd certainly be a good shoulder for her to cry on as she pretended to be upset over his sudden departure.

That was the plan, anyway. But it didn't work, because she left out an important variable to her little "what if" scenario- you. She hadn't expected you to get home so early.

She couldn't hear the door unlock or your footsteps coming down the hall over the sound of her own heart beating in her chest, the knife in her hand quickly darting out to slice open his throat as he stood there in front of her.

"Love?"

Your voice made her freeze, and she slowly turned to face you with an almost frantic look. "Baby..." she murmured out the pet name, her gaze full of affection, though you were too focused on the dead body to notice.

"Wh- What did you do to him?" Your voice sounded incredibly panicked, and she couldn't really say she blamed you. "W- Why did you kill him?"

"It was self defense," she blurted out as the first thing that popped into her mind, remaining surprisingly calm given the fact she just killed someone while you were desperately trying not to start spiraling at the graphic scene. "I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore, and he got angry with me. I had to stop him before he did something bad."

Despite trying her best to sound sincere, you didn't look as though you believe her words in the slightest. "N- No, I- I saw you. He was just standing there, and then- then you killed him-" You let out a choked sob as you tried not to panic, your vision growing blurry as a sudden wave of lightheadedness overtook you.

"You don't know what you saw," came out her reply in a sharper tone than you were used to, one that she only used when she was frustrated. Her gaze softened, however, when she saw you on the verge of a panic attack. "Baby... Baby, hey, look at me," she gently coaxed while reaching out to take your face in her hands, trying to get you to focus on her and not the dead body on the floor.

"You killed him!" You wailed hysterically as you tried to pull away from her, something that made her eyes narrow in irritation.

"I did it to protect myself, and I did it to protect you," she snapped in a much harsher tone than you were used to. "I did it for us. I did it to help keep us safe. Don't act like you wouldn't do the same for me."

"N- No... I wouldn't kill anyone..." You insisted, your breathing shallow and quick as you really began to panic at her words.

"You would to protect me," she insisted as she moved her hands from your face down to your shoulders, her fingers digging into the skin there as she spoke. "People think that he already left for Bali, so that's what we're going to say happened. If anyone asks, we haven't seen or heard from him since yesterday, understood?"

It was hard to respond giving the fact that you were currently hyperventilating, but you did your best to nod regardless, not in full control of your actions. She was getting you to be an accomplice to her crime, and you were just letting her do it.

"Good. Now, I'm going to clean up the body, and later tonight we're going to go dump it where no one can find him." She leaned in and pressed a surprisingly tender kiss to your forehead. "I won't let anything happen to us, okay? I promise."

All you could do was stand there, frozen with fear and shock as you watched her begin to get rid of the mess she made. She wasn't at all who you thought she was, and it made you feel sick to your stomach.

You trusted her. You used to, at least, before all of this. You wanted to believe that she was telling you the truth, that it was self defense, an accident, whatever kind of lie that could be used to cover up your girlfriend being a killer.

Besides, there was no way you could leave even if you wanted to. The Quinn family practically owned the LA police department, and there was no way they'd open an investigation into Milo's murder with their daughter as the prime suspect. You were stuck.

But maybe it wouldn't be all bad. After all, she said she did it to protect you. Maybe she really did love and care about you, in her own way.

And just like the saying went, love could conquer all. You supposed in a situation like this, it meant that love knew best, too. Your Love did, anyway, and she wasn't going to let you think otherwise.

End notes: I feel like the ending might've been a little wonky but I hope you liked it regardless <3

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[caralara]

I know Louis' your fave so I hope it's okay that I send you this. But recently the blinkers have been coming off for me in regards to Louis. I think I used to have him up on a bit of a pedestal. I just thought he was this really intelligent guy, really aware of social issues and willing to fight for the right thing and be rebellious when necessary. I don't know. I saw things playing out very differently. But unfortunately, lately, I've been seeing a lot of laziness and complacency and a willingness to settle from him. A lot of contradictions as well. Like he gets the anarchist symbol tattooed but doesn't speak out or place his support behind anything substantial. I'm sorry, legalizing weed is his most political stance. And then being seen with the Starbucks cup and actually covering it in the video like lmao. Not knowing what number year your festival is when he supposedly had big dreams for it. I know this is so small but it irks me that he's been going on about playing the guitar for years. And he is yet to bring it on stage for even one song! I know it comes from a place of self-doubt and insecurity no matter how confident he makes himself appear but like he just doesn't help himself. And fans exaggerating and praising every little thing he does as if he isn't just some basic white man does my head in. Sorry I word vomited on you and I know this sounds harsh but I acknowledge it comes from a bitter place where I feel like his potential is just not being met. At the end it's his life and I genuinely hope he doesn't have many regrets later on.

hi babe

I think I am completely in the same situation as you! I might not be triggered by exactly the same things but I’ve been going over and over it for the last couple days asking myself why I’m so annoyed with him right now?? And I think it really is just the disappointment finding out your fave man is after all, just a man.

Like, to me, it feels like he’s been stagnant since early 2023. right now, to me it feels like he’s just on the hunt for the cheap thrill, getting the validation in that he also can pull massive crowds of screaming girls just like he did during 1D (and it isn’t even the actual validation he’s looking for??? Like he still starts yapping every time a man validates him as if it’s so much more important??)

I feel like he lost focus, or energy, or both. You know, you said it!! You know I love Louis to death, he’s my favourite, and genuinely, I don’t blame him. It makes a lot of sense to me. He’s finally proven himself to not be a flop to all the people doubting him. He’s overcome all the obstacles, did LTWT and had massive success with it, way beyond anyone expected, rode that wave, made a second album that proved he’s not a one hit wonder either, an album he actually enjoyed making, and proved his fans liked it, too. And then… it just kind of stagnated. His team made mistakes and miscalculations. Announcing Asia tour so short notice thinking, then cancelling bc it didn’t sell out, handling the announcements horribly, not realising LTWT was massive bc of all the pent up excitement and desire throughout years of a pandemic, the magnetism of it being the first solo world tour. They also didn’t get it when it came to Milano Summer fest vs. AFHF. The 35k sold out bc it was announced many months in advance and it was the last LTWT show - that’s meaningful to fans. It was easily accessible. You can’t translate just the numbers to „it’s bc he’s popular in Italy,“ there’s so many factors at play they ignored, and therefore AFHF Italy only sold 2/3 of tickets, and a lot of these people didn’t even show up (couldn’t, I better say).

For me, FITF felt like he had checked out a little. He’s plateauing. The excitement and irresistible draw he has is largely due to his resilience, his underdog persona he created that allows normal people to identify with him. And there just wasn’t any… growth since early 2023. He‘s also alienated a large part of his fandom with the bbg pushes, and as you know, I still believe it was all part of the bigger plan to end it, but it does feel like he gave up, got comfortable. And it’s not that I blame him for it necessarily?? Like all he’s been through? It makes a lot of sense to me that now he’s achieved all the things people told him he wouldn’t be able to achieve, that now the burn out sets in, that now, the driving energy of spite and wanting to prove himself has run out.

I feel like the jokes of “oh I’m a pothead I can’t remember if it’s the third or fourth edition of my super duper important close to my heart festival project” or “oh yeah sometimes I forget I’m an actual parent and have a kid” are getting old. Like, it doesn’t serve him anymore it feels like? To me it feels like the weed was a coping mechanism that helped him get through hard times, and that’s completely valid, but now it looks like to me it’s holding him back, blurring his genius.

I’m sorry for the rant back to you. I’m deeply upset because Louis is my escape, my happy place, fandom is my comfort, and I feel like it’s slipping through my fingers because it causes me more upset than happiness at this point. The amount of “kill yourself” messages I have gotten over criticising louis for announcing AFHF so short notice is frankly INSANE. Do people not talk to other people in real life?? How do the people around these people that send those messages deal with them in real life?? It’s so upsetting to see how many people feel comfortable typing out these kind of messages and sending them.

I do hope this feeling of mine calms down, and I can go back to just glorifying louis and have him as my comfort place, because I do not like the thoughts I have and the way it makes me feel.

[artdagz]

Hey, another Leo escaped the prison dimension differently fanfic.

Don't know if I'll ever be able to finish anything again, but I still want to share this.

Fair warning: it is angst, last chance, injuries and some humor. If you see any more things let me know.

I neither have a name for this yet, nor do I want to post the working title since it's a bit of a spoiler. Let's call it:

‐--------

Leonardo the Blue turtle - intro

Leonardo couldn't take it anymore, realistically he knew,  He couldn't expect his brother's to break the laws of physics and save him from another dimension.

 Still his broken mind and shattered body would not accept the fact he had probably been trapped here for days. 

The krang had beaten him up good but faced with the choice to end him the monster did decide not to. Not out of mercy, leonardo was sure. 

The turtles shell was broken as were his legs and one arm,  but he was still breathing and defying death,  cause yeah not gonna make it that easy.

He never did anything the easy way, never seemed to learn, so why would he now?

In a better world his brothers probably already saved him and he could complain about the fact they ended up in jersey, but right now he didn't see that happening. 

Looking at the photo he was still clutching in his less injured hand he was hit with a wave of melancholy,  the sort that came with the idea of "at least they're save now." Before he sighed and pushed it down. 

He had been throwing himself a pity party long enough. Had been waiting for his brothers to save him long enough. 

They couldn't blame him anymore if he waited long enough and decided to try to break himself free or die trying. 

Which, honestly, both sounded better than to keep on rotting and wallowing in self pity,  since death also seemed too busy to get him in the next decade or so. 

So either Leo got out or death would be forced to reschedule for him.  Leo refused to Die out of boredom and pain, thank you very much. 

Looking over to where he had spotted his sword had ended up, Leo looked around one more time. If krang was still lurking somewhere, he didn't hear or see him. 

Sucker would probably wait for him to crawl over to his sword before tearing him a new one anyway, plus Leo wasn't gonna wait anymore. 

Stashing away the photo Leo began to crawl over to his sword using mostly one arm and the parts of his limbs that weren't broken. 

He had managed to splint his legs with his sword sheaths but it was a temporary job anyways and in a few moments this probably wouldn't matter anymore anyway, cause he intended to really give it everything he got. 

He was the portal guy,  so technically this should get him out of here,  right?

Nevermind. 

He was feeling eyes on him now,  but he wasn't squashed in the dirt yet so let the krang get some entertainment out of this,  Leo didn't care. Sounds of agony he released weren't only for show, simply more exaggerated than probably necessary,  cause the real agony for Leo was waiting or the idea he wouldn't get back to his brothers. 

But let the krang think he wants his sword for self protection or to soothe himself or some bull. Leo had been hyping himself up and gathering energy as long as his patience would let him and as soon as he could touch his sword he was out of here, one way or another. 

Taking a small break to breathe Leo briefly wondered if he'll end up with his ancestors if it didn't work and if they would scold him. 

Thinking back to granny karai, he didn't hate the idea seeing her again. 

Still he grit his teeth, eyes on the prize he pushed on. 

The "eyes" He felt boring into him brought on an uncomfortable tense atmosphere and he didn't want to wait for krang to lose his patience. 

Feeling a shift in his surroundings he swore he felt the moment the krang leapt towards him.  Taking one last leap himself he channeled all his energy into his sword at first touch.  The effort and closeness of krang making him give off one last scream as he felt himself disintegrate. 

The painful feeling of being taken apart not overshadowing the smug satisfaction he had as he could still see krang grabbing onto nothing as he faded out of this dimension. 

Leo shot the raging krang one last smug grin before being gone. 

In reality the time that passed while he faded was probably just a split second but Leo swears he could observe the krang trying to grab him just mere milliseconds before Leo reached his sword and got away in slow motion. This was most likely just the adrenaline and his senses being sent into overdrive just to be able to live out his potential last moments as much as he could. Now Leo couldn't deny the satisfaction of having gotten away, the outcome be damned. The krang did not get to control Leos life,  death or emotions anymore. Screw you, spit out bubblegum face. 

Even still,  a small part of the sliders brain couldn't help but wonder what would be next as soon as that all consuming white would be gone. 

Huh,  he'll just have to wait and see. 

With that thought the white light overtook all his senses and with the feeling of his body completely lost he gave in. 

[spookymonthcultau]

Now, even touching the doorknob was scary, but Lila's trembling hand still makes this heavy gesture, and now, she is already inside …

How many eyes were turned to her at that moment…

His heart was beating wildly, his trembling body was about to fall dead. She knew that she had greatly upset the cult of her departure and such a sudden appearance looked at least strange.

Lila? What an unexpected meeting. By what fate did you come here again? came the old, as white day, pedantic voice of the elder.

There was a lump in my throat, my mouth was grabbing air more and more actively, just not to lose control over my consciousness.

For the sake of… calmness… - Lila answered so quietly that she could only be heard a little.

A wave of chuckles went through the crowd as goosebumps ran down the woman's back.

Dear little Lila, a cult is not a gathering of wish-granting magicians, in case you forgot, here we have to sacrifice something in order to achieve what we want.

Lila nods meekly, remembering those rules.

“So why don't you fight for the right to live a quiet life, Lila? the elder continued, turning away and taking out a dagger, which immediately fell on the lady's legs. “Although, if you lose, one of our representatives will have the opportunity to advance your position, so you can succumb if you wish, we all know that you have served loyally in the past.

Lila did not appreciate the sarcastic jokes, because all this time she was silently staring at the floor, where the edged weapons lay, which slowly went into her gentle female hands.

“Christopher, come on, get out!”

Only these words brought the woman out of the trance. And inside of her everything went cold. It looked more and more like a joke. For a bad dream. No, no, no, it all seems to her, it’s absolutely not his dark hair, in which she loved to swarm before going to bed, not his deep and tired eyes, it’s not him, not her husband, he can’t be there! No no no! But alas. As soon as the hood fell from the man's head, the dagger fell from Leela's hands, and her eyes filled with tears.

Christopher…- came the lady's lips abruptly. She was not capable of more, tears blurred her eyes, and an oppressive feeling of guilt in front of her husband, because she had not looked for him earlier, was what she had actually buried. She was ashamed. Incredibly embarrassing. She is to blame for all their problems, if not for her, this would not have happened. She's disgusting, she's reckless, she's a stupid little girl.

Lila. – painfully familiar voice came from behind. Cold fingers ran through the purple strands. - Calm down. Breathe deeply and evenly. I am not at all angry with you, rather, on the contrary, I am grateful that you gave me the opportunity to face something truly great and omnipotent. - black eyes sparkled turquoise. They gave me what I deserve. And I am very grateful to them. Don't worry honey, I'll take care of our baby. Your death will give me many new opportunities, and Skid will certainly not need anything…

Lila swallowed nervously, feeling cold metal on her neck and warm lips against her temple. It seems that one more movement and she can say goodbye to life. For once, the instinct of self-preservation has worked and, grabbing a knife lying on the floor, Lila rushes to the side. A sharp dagger cuts thin skin. Scarlet blood flows down. Christopher was surprised by the resistance from the lady and for a second, he froze. This was enough for Lila to get up and rush to the side. The cultist did not think of falling behind her. With a sharp movement, he turned her towards him, intending to strike …

But Lila was faster.

Lightning jerk and behold, the blade entered the skull to the very hilt.

Lila could not expect such a thing from herself and recoiled in surprise, screaming in horror. The body fell to the floor with a noisy crash, bleeding. There was deathly silence. Lila takes a step back. The earth is slipping away…

Lila was in a state of complete shock. She made it. She did the most disgusting thing possible. She killed a man. And the most precious person to her. Burning pain tore her from the inside, tears flowed in a stream, and she herself howled softly, clutching her hair with her hands. She could fly down forever, literally drowning in her grief, until suddenly a tentacle caught her.

“You should be more careful.

Lila raised her eyes and looked at the Eyes of the Universe, which resembled the stars with their radiance.

"I'm sorry, it's just…when something so terrible happens, it's hard to focus on anything else…" Lila replies softly, looking at her former idol. Now there was no fear. There was only desolation. However, the Eyes of the Universe themselves never did anything to arouse the girl's rejection. Rather, on the contrary, they were touched by their gratitude for the bloody sacrifices. The woman limp on the tentacle, sighing heavily.

Still…leaving the cult was a mistake…

“I don’t think so, living flesh, all you wanted when you left the cult was a quiet life and being who you want to be. - the voice echoed into the void

Since the Eyes of the Universe themselves allowed me to do this without unnecessary bloody sacrifices, then why did the cult insist on this? - the lady says sadly.

They just want to please me with such bloody fun … Although, I admit, I have much more pleasure in visualizing the series, the plot of which they describe in between.

Really? - Lila was genuinely surprised. - Then why don't you tell them about it?

Well, I definitely tried, but on the other hand, they are trying for me.

Even as a child, it seemed to me that your will was just a cover for the desire to create chaos and go unpunished.

Do you think I'm just being used?

I don't know how it really is…

Silence fell between them again.

Honestly, you were pretty persuasive just because you're completely honest. Yes, and you do not insist on anything, living flesh … - Eyes said thoughtfully.

– Thank you, you are very nice and… caring. Lila answered quietly, because she did not expect such an answer. The lady put her hand to her neck, the cut on which was bleeding painfully. There was a scarlet mark on the fingertips..Oh, do you really think so? – receiving a nod in response to this, Eyes smiled. - In that case, I will use your philosophy and also leave the cult in search of myself.- Still, descending to earth is really not the most reasonable, albeit an interesting decision … But before I go to surf the expanses of other worlds, I should leave you at the door of the hospital.

[dcviated]

@wiildhearrted sent: She's vulnerable, for once, walls down (mostly), and she can't even blame the booze. She's only had half a beer. Nikki's been lost in her thoughts for a while, unusually quiet and pensive. Looking over in his direction, there's something clouding her dark blue eyes, and even she isn't quite sure what. "Why'd you do it, Wy?" Not taking her to Lucas. She was a stranger when he'd made that deal. No, that's not what confused her. "Why'd you come back for me?"

Wylan doesn't respond, not immediately. There are- included within that contemplative hesitation- two pauses.

The first is one of dismissive expectancy. Since when did Nikki, an individual who tread a sharp edge between toleration and hostility, want to connect with him? Wylan waits for the other side of the hand. The backhanded remark that derides him or dismisses any emotional impact of the words previously said. Both of them excelled at that, after all. Maybe it was why they could still spend time together despite... everything. Inability to connect. To put meaning into anything they did that lasted into the rays of the next day's morning.

Ha. Is he disappointed? When that doesn't come? Or is he excited? Hell if the infected lycanthrope can properly place it. For all his ability to read people such skill seemed to only apply well to others and their own problems. Now it applies to him. And he's in such denial that... ugh.

Ha. A frown. The checkpoint from one pause to another. Well, if the punchline wasn't coming, where did that leave him? Finding an answer. Obviously.

...obviously...

"Haha."

He knows it's in him. Answers. And the ability to give them. He knows the what's and why's. Phrasing those in a way that made any sense (both to himself and to the listener) would be the tricky part of the equation. For a mercurial wanderer such as himself that would likely always be the case. A self-obfuscating conundrum. But. Nikki deserved a straight answer. And he owed it to himself to air that. So, after formulating something he shifts in his place, putting together another cracker sandwich from the container on the table.

"Before I was turned. Before I got into this... part and place of my work. I didn't get to make as many choices about myself as I'd have liked. I lived free enough, but it still boiled down to the beck and call of others I worked for. Lots of strings, y'know. And... uh. Maybe that changed. A bit. Or I wanted it to. Do this work for better reasons. Or something like that." His face wrinkles, and he takes a bite of the cracker he'd set up with ham and cheese. No, he wasn't drinking.

"When I took that job from Lucas, it was under the assumption that you were something dangerous left out in the world on your own. Call it what you want, but the man phrased it and convinced well enough of it. That he convinced himself may have been what got me on the job. To track you down. Find you. Bring you back. But." Face wrinkles again, and fingers rub two crumbs of cracker between them.

"Even if it was for just a little bit, I still got to know enough about you." The crumb is flicked. An action that garners the attention of the two wolves, but not enough to get them to rise from their place (at his feet). "To feel... doubts. So when I took you in, and left you with Lucas." Wylan gestures a hand, waving off the particulars of that ordeal. "Those had taken enough root to make me change my mind. And maybe. Probably." Wylan bites back the growing humor in his throat, the attempt to distance himself from the earnest manner of this conversation. Not fun.

"...no, that's exactly why I did it. Came back. Killed him. Because it felt like I was just another tool again, and not even serving some good purpose. Leaving you to him. It'd be like I was the reason this little corner of the world lost something good." Wylan sits now, arms folded, leaning back in the chair, brows furrowed.

"I'm an assassin. Don't think that ever will or can change, but I want to keep myself to a better ... code? Something like that. I can't let myself just be another killer. Is what I'm getting at. And I don't know. What I do know, is it feels like it was worth it. And I haven't regretted making the choice I did yet. Even if I still might pay for making it later."

Shrugs.

"Deal with that when it happens. Right?"

[hoseokb]

Don't be mad or disappointed in yourself for the horrible experience that happened to you. I know it's tempting to blame yourself, but she is the one who hurt you, so she is to blame, not you. You hadn't gone through this learning experience yet. But now you have, and you have learned what she is like, and you're making the right decision to stand up for yourself, and that's strong and smart! Your new year is off to a good start! It was painful, like excercise, but you're stronger! Great work!

thank you so much for always giving me words of comfort and support, i can’t put in words how much i appreciate them!  putting undercut because i am having pretty conflicting and contradicting thoughts today, so there’s a lot

but you know, few days after this whole mess of a situation, i feel like i made a wrong decision tbh.. i feel like i was too harsh in my occusations and i honestly don’t know where this thought came from, i have a feeling i should have given her chance, i feel like i overreacted and should have at least tried to talk without letting my hurt and her betrayal take over me;;; i keep thinking about how i worded my last message and it just won’t leave my mind,,  i don’t know why despite all the hurt she did to me my conscience is trying to justify her and not myself. even tho a rational part of me agrees with you wholeheartedly, the doubt that i made wrong decision is not leaving me. i don’t know why i feel blame, this is so confusing to me? she hurted me so much before, but in my last message to her.. i said pretty hurtful stuff too, i feel i should have worded it more calmly, but i was so hurt that i let my anger word it all sharply;;; or maybe this is because i worded it how i felt it.. i reflected her words sharp, harsh.. this is so confusing, i’m sorry, i am like contradicting all of my emotions and hurt i experienced.. but it really hurted, but i also really feel shameful now, that i became as cold as her in my answer.. but also that how i felt , that’s how she made me feel, that’s what i felt from her directed at me, so i am really confused;;;

This is just silliness, but I had a dream that J-Hope came on my tv game show and announced that he has a grudge against Roy Biscuit. Is your ex-friend named Roy Biscuit?? If so, she better watch out or she’ll end up in the next cypher.

awww bfkgkh what interesting dream :’) and hah , i wish she was named like that so i could hear about her in next cypher lol.. thank you for this, really, it made me smile :’’)

[sassy-seungmo]

Felix-Carry On

felix x reader

sad hours :(

warnings: mentions of death, missing felix

"Okay but something had to have drawn you towards him, right?" You laughed at your daughters question and took a moment to think about it.

"He was different, he was always there when I needed him and I guess he just made me feel happy and safe. That and he was gorgeous, he had those gorgeous freckles just like you do." You said smiling sadly at Areum, who was hanging onto every word that she spoke.

"But how did you know that you were in love?" Areum questioned as she took a spoonful of ice cream and ate it, eagerly awaiting your answer.

"I wish I could tell you but I can't, we just were." You smiled inventively as all of the memories came flashing by and you saw snippets of your life with him, the wave of nostalgia feeling extremely bittersweet.

"Do you miss him?" Areum questioned lightly, she knew that her mother would always get a little bit upset when the topic came up. Areum could only imagine how hard it must be for her, having lost the love of her life.

"Everyday a little bit more, sometimes I still feel like he might just walk through the door and say it was a prank that he planned. I always think that it's a nightmare that I just can't seem to escape." You wiped a tear away from your cheek, you didn't want to break down in front of your daughter. You knew that Areum hated to see you sad.

"I'm sorry." Areum mumbled and offered the ice cream to her mum, you chuckled and had a spoonful wincing at the cool temperature.

"I'm sorry that you don't remember him, he loved you so much. I just wish that it was me instead." You replied, some of your favourite moments in life had been when Areum was an infant and you would catch Felix sleeping with his daughter on his chest or when he would look at her and he looked so love struck. "Every daughter deserves to have a daddy to care about her."

"He couldn't help what happened." Areum mumbled, she had always tried to imagine what it would be like to have her dad around, she had heard enough about him that she could do her best to imagine it, almost taste all of the brownies that he’d make and hear him signing absentmindedly, though she never truly experienced it. Sometimes she even managed to convince herself that she could see him sitting in a chair watching the pair of them silently.

"I told him to go out that night," You said sadly, you had asked him to go get some food that was needed even though it was late at night. The driver was to drunk to stop at all as he hit Felix’s car. There was no chance of survival for the boy, no matter how strong he would have been willing to fight.

"You couldn't have known mama, he's looking over you right and from what I've heard about from all my uncles they say he was whipped. I don't think that he would blame you at all or want you to be crying." Areum said.

"You would have been so close." You sighed, your voice breaking at the thought, as you realised how similar they were, on most days you tried to avoid looking for similarities between the two. It was hard for you to deal with the loss of the love of your life even 14 years on, for you there was no moving on from the man that you knew had been your soulmate.

"We are," Areum replies and looks over at the headstone showing a picture of her dad. "Just not physically."

The pair returned home that night and as you fell into a deep sleep found yourself back where you had first met Felix, at the front of the school building. Your dream self walked forwards towards a figure that had its back to you. Even from the back you could see who it was, Felix. He turned around just as you reached him and you noticed that he still looked just as he had years ago.

"Felix?" You muttered quietly, heart racing. He flashed a soft smile and nodded his head. "Is this real?"

"If you believe it is," tears were running down your cheeks as you heard his voice and you quickly threw your arms around your late husband before he could disappeared or you woke up. "Hey don't cry jagi."

"I miss you so much." You said and he held you tighter in an embrace that was so familiar, the embrace that you had been longing for for years.

"I miss you so much more but you're doing such an amazing job with Areum. She's just like we wanted her to be." Felix laughed. "Can you tell her how proud I am of her?"

"Of course." You nodded you head and felt like the teenager that was so deeply enamoured with the boy when you had only just met one another. "Are you okay wherever you are?"

"I miss you guys but I'm safe and I'm waiting for you guys. I will be for as long as you need me to be." Felix quickly placed his lips against you and you kissed with more passion and love then you ever had before. You never wanted the moment to end, but to be stuck in that instant for an eternity, but of course the boy had to pull away, dragging another piece of your broken heart along with him.

"What?" You asked as he smiled sadly at you. How you’d missed that smile so so much. "Is everything okay?"

"I have to go now love, I'm sorry." Felix sighed and he started to disappear. "I love you." Your eyes opened quickly as soon as he said that and you were wide awake again breathing heavily as you tried to internalise the fact that just like that he was gone again.

"I love you more," You muttered as you hugged her pillow, a small smile on your face. Allowing the same scent of his old cologne to fill your nose. Even if it wasn't him speaking you knew that you had to treasure what you had just felt and seen. In your mind there was no way that what just happened was just a dream. He had spoken to you and given you the strength that you needed to carry on.

master list

[yieldfruit]

Would you please pray for me that God gives me wisdom in a choice I need to make soon?

It's been a week, I have felt often so grumpy for whatever reason. I dislike feeling irritated, it's annoying to feel annoyed, hehe. I think I need to be stretched and challenged so that hopefully I am not so particular and so easily annoyed. Sometimes feeling irritated is because I think I've been spoiled with quiet and things a bit going my way too much, which is easy to have happen as a single person. It's good to be with someone so as to not get just so comfortable with yourself as the primary focus most of the time. I work from home and G is older and self-sufficient so my day-to-day life is really pretty simple in the sense of caring for others and I am not a fan of that.

So my decision: the home I wanted to rent last year in Wine Country is available again! I turned it + a job up there down and within 6 weeks landed a fantastic role that I am really enjoying for the most part. The concern is the time of year; G still has school for another 3 months almost. Should I carry rent in 2 places in California for 4 months? Expensive; I could do it, but is this wise? Or should I let this home go (again, sigh) and wait to move until she is done with school and hope something reasonable would be available? Should I move at all?

Oh, I want to move. I have wanted to move a long time. I live in such a beautiful area and I feel like I am ready to move on. It's been 8 years here, so I have been patient, and over the last 2 years we had opportunity to move to Wine Country twice and I turned it down due to not having peace about it just yet. I still want to move though. What is this in me that wants to move so much? Lord, lead and guide.

S & I cancelled our date - he is my friend, but there is no chemistry there. I am not able to give him what he needs - the love and affection of a woman reciprocating his pursuit - I am just not there. Things with W were so full of sparks and he hotly pursued me and it felt different, it was like fire, and with S he is steady and kind, but it is like a cloud passing by. There is not desire in my heart. And this is a different S than last Autumn, that was another guy I couldn't bring forth desiring feelings for either, so we never went further. I feel like when I know I know, I do believe this. I may have a tough time making some decisions, but I know that I know when I know and you either get this or you don't - as a woman we can be complex, but women understand this, you know when you could perhaps see yourself with someone or not. And I am not talking about hormones and that kind of desire per se, but rather the deeper desire of knowing someone and being known by them - it's under the waves of the relationship, that momentum, that reciprocated affection, it's chemistry, but it's also love and affection and respect. The thing is to have that with also someone I have a peace about from the Lord. W and I had the former and I had to give it time to discover more of the latter and he knew this, I was upfront about that.

Making for peace. I had a family relationship that was strained. I felt, well, justified in my stance of feeling very hurt/rejected. I was also just generally annoyed by some things in where our personalities where not in sync. I felt hurt and could pinpoint the why's and how's. My response was to back off and not give out much. Yesterday while driving to the gym I asked the Lord, just in general not in this particular situation - "What do you want me to do, Lord?" And it came to my heart immediately - call up this person, check in on them, make for peace. I did this, and it was good. It was really good. I was able to hear them out and be respectful in my response of sharing my heart without being accusatory or blaming. It was good to make for peace. And it kept on coming to my heart to ask if I could pray for us at the end, and I did so, and it felt like the closure and balm at the end of a examining a wound and pulling out the debris that somehow gets stuck in there - an open wound with the tiniest bits of dirt that make it so the wound cannot fully close up and heal because it's irritated. I was irritated, self-protective, and hurt. I felt rejection. I struggle with feeling rejection in life for multiple reasons - I hate it and it is one of the most difficult things for me to really heal in.

[veilder]

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you" - North60

Another prompt fill that I actually managed to get done? What?! Well, you're as surprised as I am. XD Anyway, I have no idea if this is even good or not but I guess I'll post it anyway. This is set vaguely as the third piece in the North60 series I intend to write. (The first part of it is published already but I've been working on the second for a long time and it's still not done. >_<) So if anyone is a bit OOC, just blame it on some intended character growth that's already theoretically happened, lol. So yeah... here's to the very few of you out there who love this ship as much as I do. Enjoy? 😅

butterflies around the flame

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

Sixty pauses, looking over to North as she sidles up beside him on the gangway. She wears her expression of steely determination just as fittingly as her slightly-singed tactical suit and Sixty can’t help the small burst of assurance both sights inspire in him despite his current irascibility. His scanners pick up a myriad of weapons on her person, knives and guns and batons and tasers, and it soothes some basic part of his coding that crows at him to keep her safe. She can look out for herself. Hell, she can look out for him too if the way she's muttered that phrase several times over the course of their friendship is anything to go by. Time and again she's looked out for him, vouching for him to her friends, taking him on as her second-in-command in the security corps, mediating disputes he manages to get himself involved in, etc.

And here and now too, apparently, she's decided to shoulder the responsibility for his actions. Even as he stares, she nods her head down to the burnt edges of his jacket and trousers, waving a lazy hand to the entirety of his ash-encompassed form. "I’m serious, I’ll talk to them. You did what you had to and I'll make sure Markus knows it. Losing one building is better than what would've happened without the distraction."

Sixty frowns, doing his best to nonchalantly lean against the metal railing as he peers down at the gathered deviants below. The deviants he had done his best to save during the pandemonium. The deviants who stood huddled and scared and singed because of his stupid plan. They were lucky... Lucky to make it out. No thanks to him.

"I could've taken the humans down myself," he says eventually, a scowl crawling its way across his face. "Far less collateral damage. Quick and efficient. You know I could've, North." He snaps his gaze back towards her. "This could've killed them." He nods his head towards the crowd below. "I could've killed them. And for what? A crazed mob of humans hellbent on destroying us?"

North shakes her head. "But you didn't kill them. You didn't kill anybody, Sixty. We have you to thank for everyone making it out alive. Even the humans." Her words are soft but her eyes shine brightly, that same righteous anger burning through them as courses through his Thirum lines. She's just as upset about the attack as he is. He knows this. After all, she'd been on guard when it all went down, too. She'd heard his transmissions, understood what he was planning. She'd led the evacuation of New Jericho personally and perfectly in sync with him springing his trap. And now, huddled in an abandoned warehouse near the wreckage of the original Jericho freighter, the harried android population coming full-circle in the worst of ways, they are the only two who can explain the full situation to Markus.

Somehow, just knowing how incandescently angry North is about all of this is enough to stabilize his systems a bit, his dangerously high stress levels sinking back down to a more moderate rate. "Well, can't have His Leaderness getting all up in arms with me for snuffing out a few organics, now can we? Not after last time."

North snorts, the sound inelegant and coarse, and Sixty feels his stress levels sinking even more. But when she looks up at him, she is far from amused, her eyes burning with resolve as a wicked, cruel smile teases the edges of her lips. "Your restraint is admirable, Six. Can't say I wouldn't have taken the shot if I were in your place."

Here in the dim light, her uniform practically fades into the darkness. Her vibrant hair is tied back and hidden, her hands are gloved, her face is cast in shadows. Every part of North is dimmed and defeated, even her muttered words wreathed in fury and despair.

But even with her glaring down at the assembly like an avenging angel, her palpable fury emanating from her like a physical thing, Sixty can't help but scoff. "You wouldn't." He smirks as her eyes snap back to his, the challenge in her gaze masking the vulnerability underneath. "You wouldn't take the shot," he says again. "You wanna know how I know?"

Hesitantly, she nods, enough suspicion in her gaze to make him cackle. (Which he does. Loudly.)

Sixty reaches out and takes her hand, giving her his own crooked, slightly deranged smile in return. "It's because I didn’t. And that’s because of you." He squeezes her hand, the pulse of her Thirium lines under the sensitive sensors of his fingertips as mesmerizing as it is reassuring. "You've always been better than you seem to think you are. You wouldn't take a life if there was another option. That's never been you, even at your lowest." He chuckles softly. "You always protect. Even when you hate someone or something, you always try to find the best option. You 'take care of things'. That's how I came to be here in the first place, isn't it?"

North's grip is firm in his own as he flashes her another grin and Sixty can feel it, the way she retracts her skin even with the barrier of cloth between them. Without thought, without care, he reciprocates, letting his own Thirium coating recede back into the magnetized nodes dotting his chassis. The two of them sink into the interface, the low hum of each other's minds a sweet and soothing backdrop to the chaos all around them. The interface is only surface level, not deep enough to be anything other than an awareness of each other, but it is enough to magnify North's words through his whole self as she speaks: "But I never hated you. Not like them."

Sixty merely laughs. "But you should've."

And there is no contestation. She knows as well as he the sins of his past. But she's never judged him for them, not once. It's perhaps what he loves most about her, her willingness to accept his flaws. Even here and now, with the ashes of their people's dreams upon his body, she never once hesitated to accept him. It's enough to incite a 0.33 second timing fluctuation in the steady beat of his Thirium pump. The error message that accompanies it is a familiar friend in her presence these days.

In the warmth of their interface, Sixty continues on: "But you know as well as I do that you don't need to like someone to do the right thing." He spares a brief moment to think of his hallowed predecessor and the complicated relationship between them.

North nods. "Yeah, I... I know, Six. I know." She glances up at him through her eyelashes. "When the hell did you end up the voice of reason?"

Sixty snorts out a laugh. "I have my moments."

Her smile is genuine this time as she stares up at him. "You sure do."

And though his records will later tell him that this moment lasted less than a second, Sixty swears they stare at each other for an eternity. Time slows as if his preconstruction software has started up, each prolonged moment a gift for his harried system. And when at last they draw apart, breaking the shallow interface at last, they both do so with a smile and severely diminished stress level.

"Alright, I still need to explain things to Markus and Josh and Simon," North reiterates. "I'm sure they're here somewhere."

Sixty nods. "Yeah, they're over in that corner," he says, pointing.

North's scandalized face is enough to have him laughing again. "Sixty! You knew they were here all along?!"

"Of course," he laughs, "I've got the best scanners on the market. They've been here the whole time. They've been delegating or something, I'm not sure."

"Why didn't you say something!"

"Well quite frankly, I needed a moment. And then you needed a moment. And then we were having a moment, so..."

"Ugh, I can't believe you! I need to go. Now."

But before she can walk off, Sixty sidles in front of her. "Whoa whoa whoa, I think you mean we need to go. Right?"

She stares at him, uncomprehending.

"Okay, lemme put it to you this way then," he chuckles. "We will go explain my actions to the Big Boss. Then we can check on the security team and see if they're still doing alright. And then we can go find a quiet spot where we can try and beat the shit out of each other for a bit. Y'know. Let off some steam. Relax." He gives her a wink and revels in how her lips twitch at the sight.

"...You wouldn't insist if you hadn't already made up your mind, huh?" She doesn't even wait for him to confirm it before continuing, "Well, alright. Because that... That sounds good, Six.” North says. And then quieter, as if she was speaking only to herself, she mutters, “What would I ever do without you?"

Her whispered question rings sincere through Sixty's audio processor. He saves the soundbyte for further review and answers, "You'd take care of things. You always do."

And she smiles, so soft and sweet that another Thirium pump error flashes across Sixty's HUD. "Yeah. I always do. But it’d be less fun without you here."

Sixty reaches out a hand again and thrills when she accepts it, the two of them walking together along the gangway down to where the rest of the Jericho leadership are stationed. He chuckles. “I knew you kept me around for something.” This time, it’s him who initiates, opening up another interface for them to connect with. North reciprocates immediately and it makes Sixty proud to feel how much calmer she is now. “But I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that. I pity the poor idiot who tries to make me leave now. You’d tear them apart.”

North’s eyes flash, a sinister gleam accompanied by another cruel grin. “I’d 'take care of them'.”

Sixty barks out a hearty laugh, so enamored, so proud. “And I'll take care of you."

She chuckles right back and squeezes his hand, a steady warmth pulsing through their connection. "And maybe I'd even let you." And with eyes facing forward with renewed determination, she pulls him along with her towards their goal. “Now come on, Security Officer. There’s work to be done.”

----------------

Bonus:

Markus: "So... You're saying that you're the one who blew up New Jericho?" Sixty: "Yep!" 😃 Markus: [turning to North] "And you're saying you... encouraged him to do this?" North: "Sure did!" 😀 Markus: [staring into the camera like it's The Office] "If ever there were a time for someone to invent alcoholic Thirum, it's now." Sixty & North: 😀😀😀

[suganovakawa]

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐈𝐗 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 .

whatever’s happening between you and hajime , tooru is not having any of it .

word count : 1.7k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀the moment you walked into the classroom, tooru felt his chest compress with the sight of you and hajime attached to each other by the hip. everything about what he saw was wrong, in every single aspect of the word. it sickened him down to the stomach. digust could never fully cover the monstrosity he witnessed.

⠀what the living hell was his girlfriend doing with his best friend, of all people?

⠀dare he even call iwaizumi his best friend at this point? friends, even?

⠀he wanted to go up to you and greet you, to ask about your being and if there was anything you needed. that's what a good boyfriend would do, right? then again, a good boyfriend wouldn't treat you like shit. nor would a good boyfriend blame you for things you had nothing to do with.

⠀and a good boyfriend certainly wouldn't tell you to fuck off, leading up to a car crash that would most likely ruin him for the rest of the year.

⠀"oikawa, are you not going to say anything to y/n?"

⠀shook from his thoughts at the mention of your name, tooru winced as he eyed the individuals around his desk. they all had the same face; angry, disgusted scowls meant for only him. he deserved it, he really did; he had purposely turned his head to the window the moment you walked in. he wanted to keep his gaze outside too, if not for these people around him.

⠀shrugging slightly as he looked up at his unwanted company, he spotted you standing idly at your designated desk. turning his vision slightly to the right, there was iwaizumi, paging you over and over again, but you weren't listening.

⠀no, your eyes were completely on his.

⠀his heart skipped a beat as your eyes focused on him and him alone, a million thoughts ran through his head like a marathon as he tried to understand why you were looking at him, and why you were looking at him so... curiously. did you know? did you remember everything? how much did hajime really tell you? it didn't take an idiot to know he had been spending the most time with you, so there was no guessing of what he's informed you of. as far as tooru knew, he'd already told you of how shitty of a boyfriend he was, and that he'd never be worth your time again.

⠀but if that were the case, you wouldn't have looked over at him so fondly. just one second of shared eye contact was enough to brand the image of you in oikawa's head for the rest of the day, leaving him to ponder on what he should do about you, and how to make his own life less miserable than what he had already bestowed upon himself. part of him wanted to give up, to accept that he was a complete asshole unworthy of redemption.

⠀and he would've accepted it too,

⠀if hajime iwaizumi wasn't in the picture.

⠀something about the way he looked so perfect, so delighted, so content with being right next to you, at your beck and call - it was disgusting. truely, utterly humilating. the way hajime was so quick to answer to your every need; tooru noticed it all day, the way iwaizumi came to your rescue every time you needed anything. directions, assistance with assignments, even remembering names. whatever your problem was, iwa had the solution. and it sickened tooru down to the pits of his stomach.

⠀it's as if he wanted to replace oikawa as your boyfriend.

⠀he ignored it in the past, whenever he heard rumors about the ace's crush on you. makki and mattsun would constantly tease iwaizumi about it, but would stop whenever the captain enter the room. there were only a couple of times where the brunet had fully listened in to a couple of conversations, but he never thought anything of it in the past. why should oikawa care if iwa had a crush on his girlfriend? tooru knew you were completely smitten over him, so there was nothing he had to be self-conscious about.

⠀looking at the two of you now, ignoring iwa's growing feelings for you added to his list of never-ending regrets.

⠀seeing how his best friend was able to sweep you away from him so easily, it scared tooru, to say the least. had he been planning this for a while? was he always eyeing for the day you and him would finally call it quits? tooru remembered vividly how quickly iwaizumi was to act upon you running out of the gym that dreadful day, and how he himself was frozen in nothing more than confusion. his first assumption was that you were running home, since you didn't live too far from seijoh.

⠀of course, that assumption ran clear down the drain the moment iwa returned with you bleeding out in his arms. tooru didn't know where you were bleeding from - most likely the head, assuming it was a car accident. you were fluttering in and out of consciousness, which scared oikawa back into reality.

⠀you were dying in iwaizumi's arms.

⠀he... he's your boyfriend, so he has every right to see if you're okay, right?

⠀so why the fuck won't iwaizumi let him near you?

⠀who gave him the right to tell him to stay away from you? no, he should be the one staying away from you, you were oikawa's girlfriend. his significant other. not iwaizumi's.

⠀yet, he was the one treating you the way a real boyfriend should.

⠀tooru was left alone at school again after another long day, his thoughts in a scramble as he walked around the halls to think. he considered walking into the gym, but he hadn't touched a single volleyball in weeks. did he even deserve to pick up a volleyball again? it was the sport that drove him into an angry frenzy, unleashing a chain reaction leading to your accident. it was by chance you got by with just a concussion and amnesia; it could've been much, much worse - worst being you dying. and it would've been your own boyfriend's fault.

⠀tooru turned the corner to bump into none other than hajime himself, who seemed to be in a hurry before laying eyes on his former captain. the two males stood in front of each other in silence, the tension grew heavy in the air. oikawa didn't want to be in his presence, nor did iwaizumi want to be in his presence. their lips were sealed, there wasn't anything that needed to be said between them.

⠀"hajime? where are you?"

⠀tooru's posture stiffened at your voice, his eyes immediately wandering to spot your whereabouts. why were you still here? why were both of you still here?

⠀"y/n..." his decision made, tooru was going to find you. even with iwaizumi here, that shouldn't stop him. as aggressive as iwa was sometimes, oikawa wasn't really scared of him. if he was going to talk to you, then he damn well was going to talk to you. and the things you deserved to hear from him were endless. "i'm going to talk to y/n, iwa-chan." he spat out the nickname, one usually addressed out of endearment, like venom. it threw the other off guard, but not long enough for tooru to walk past him.

⠀"no, you're not going to."

⠀"excuse me? get out of my way, let me go see-"

⠀oikawa grunted as he felt iwa grab him by the blazer, slamming him against a locker with animalistic ferocity. he had never seen hajime so pissed off as he was now, his teeth visibly clenched together as he glared at his fellow third year. "no, you're not," he hissed, his fists clenching around the fabric even tighter to make sure tooru couldn't escape. "you're not fucking stepping near y/n today, tomorrow, or ever. you don't deserve to see her again, so do her a favor and stay out of her life. got it, shittykawa?"

⠀seeing how oikawa was helpless in his hold, iwaizumi waited for him to reply before letting him go. seeing how tooru decided it was better off remaining silent, all he really could do was let go anyway; you had just turned the same corner and came face to face with both boys.

⠀"hajime? what are you doing?"

⠀his name sounded horrible in your mouth. tooru felt sick as iwaizumi backed up and shrugged, faking a chuckle before focusing his attention on you again. "ah, y/n. nothing to worry about, just a small disagreement is all. have you finished collecting your homework yet? i'll take you home if you are, just meet me outside."

⠀"yeah, i'll go now." you nodded, but not before looking at oikawa once more. tooru wasn't even sure how to react, only sufficing with a half-hearted smile and a wave.

⠀"you're... oikawa, right?"

⠀his heart cracked in two when his surname escaped your lips. having been used to being addressed as tooru for so long, he should've never taken advantage of it. even so, all he could do in this present moment was bite his tongue to hold back from crying in front of the two of them. "yeah... yeah, that's me. glad to know you're alright... y/n."

⠀"thank you." unsure of how else to continue the conversation, you turned around and left, not wanting to pry into their conversation.

⠀iwaizumi waited until you turned the corner to face the other male once more, his facade for you completely gone. there he was back with his angry snarl, pointing a finger at him menacingly. "i'm warning you," he seethed, "stay away from y/n. you'll just make her life a living hell again, and i won't let you ruin her life twice."

⠀tooru hadn't even gotten a chance to reply before hajime turned the corner they originally bumped into, following your footsteps to walk you home, as promised. tooru couldn't process what had just happened, his brain not able to understand that iwazumi was going to take you home. that he was going to help you with homework.

⠀that he was going to be by your side everyday.

⠀no, fuck that. he couldn't let that happen.

⠀one way or another, tooru will prove to you that he can be the boyfriend you deserve, even with iwa as a thorn in his side.

⠀"fuck you, iwaizumi. i am worthy of redemption. i'll prove you wrong, just you wait."

a / n : and how exactly is tooru going to prove that he’s worthy of redemption? well... that’s for another chapter ;) n e ways ! some of y’all have heard of me beginning an iwaizumi smau , and that’s correct ! keeping it secret though , but expect the masterlist soon :>

taglist : @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan @crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-a-lot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @citruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee @froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam @0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixca @chickenrest @tycrackculture @ynjimenez @lissa-writes-and-does-matchups @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddleslut @crypto-s @keigosbitch @readeretal @shittykawaa @donghyuckster @adriloen @ella-solei @emiyummy

closed ;

[paper-mirio]

Your Heart on Your Sleeve & A Knife in Your Back

Shindou Yo x Reader

Words: 7,229

Summary: When the two of you were young, you made a promise to each other that the two of you would be the greatest hero duo the world had ever seen. You would be the Pro Heroes Heat Wave and Grand, the best partners in the industry! And you weren’t going to let something as simple as going to different hero schools get in the way of your promise to your best friend. Before one can become a Pro Hero, however, they must receive their Provisional License. And really, since you’re so eager to talk to him about your classmates, can you blame him for using that information to his advantage? The answer, of course, is yes.

A/N: This was written as a Secret Santa present for a friend! It’s sort of a Christmas fic but since I don’t think I mentioned Christmas anywhere take it as a late generic holiday fic! Enjoy!

“I got in!” you shouted into the phone, prompting your dad to shout for you to lower your voice from downstairs. You called out an apology, gently setting down the hologram disc that came with your acceptance letter. The video had been paused near the end, and the smile on All Might’s frozen face paled in comparison to the beaming grin etched onto yours.

Instead of the excited encouragement you expected in response, you were met with silence. You waited, before hesitantly asking, “Shindou? You there?”

“...Yeah. Um, you got in where, exactly?” Shindou asked.

“Oh, yeah. I got into UA! They said I'm in class 1-A!” you exclaimed. You giggled excitedly, doing a small little dance. If Shindou were in the room with you he'd no doubt comment about how silly you looked, but you wouldn't care a bit. This was everything you dreamed of, and you felt like you were on top of the world right now.

“That's great, Y/N,” Shindou said, very clearly not as excited as you were. “So I guess that means you're not coming to Ketsubutsu, huh?”

You let out a sigh. “Yeah, guess not. I mean, I really would love to go to school with you, but Ketsubutsu is so far, and—“

“UA is your dream school, I get it! You don't have to make any excuses; if I were in your situation I'd choose UA too,” Shindou laughed. “Just don't get it in your head that this makes you better than me, alright? I may not be your senpai anymore, but I still have a year of experience on you.”

“If you say so,” you giggled. “Just get ready, I'll catch up with you before you know it. We gotta be on the same level when we team up, you know?”

Shindou chuckled. “True, true. I'll put in a good word for you with Yoroi Musha then. We’ll be able to get used to working together if he extends an internship offer to you.”

“Pfft, you won't need to! He'll be so blown away when he sees me at the Sports Festival this year, he’ll be begging to have me join,” you claim. Sure, you may have been exaggerating a bit there. After all, having the Number 8 Pro Hero as a mentor would be a very big deal. But you were confident in your skills, and Shindou made it sound so wonderful whenever he told you of his experiences working with the hero. You remember celebrating the night Shindou told you he'd been offered an internship at his agency, and you were still proud of him. He wasn't at the agency anymore, but was extended an offer to return once he'd gotten his provisional license.

“There you go again,” Shindou jokingly chided. “And they wonder why I worry about their ego...”

“Oh, because you're one to talk, right?” you joked back. You heard your dad call for you, and stopped laughing to let out a sigh. “Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call back soon, alright?”

“Yeah, talk to you later then. Bye.”

“Bye!” you said, quickly hanging up. You pocketed your phone and moved to exit your room when you caught sight of your acceptance letter. You squealed in excitement. You were gonna be a hero!

You entered Shindou’s apartment, giving a brief bow to Shindou’s mother on your way in. “Thank you for having me over on such short notice!” you thanked her.

She waved it off with a smile. “It's no problem, Y/N,” she said. “You're always welcome here! Besides, after what your class just went through we would've invited you over anyway!” Her eyes narrowed mischievously, and she leaned in and lowered her voice before continuing, “I know he's bad at showing how he really feels, but Yo’s been worried sick ever since the news broke. So I'm sure he'll be more than happy to see you here.”

You flushed at this, nodding in response and laughing nervously. “Haha, well, I guess I'll go see him now then!” You waved goodbye before rushing off in the direction of Shindou’s room. Once outside, you knocked a few times before placing your hand on the doorknob. “Shindou? It's me, Y/N. Can I come in?” you asked. You were met with complete silence. Your furrowed your eyebrows. “Shindou?” You placed your ear to the door, trying to listen for any movement on the other side. Nothing. Concern bubbled within you, and worst-case scenarios ran through your mind. Was your school the only one targeted today? Maybe someone had attacked Shindou without his family noticing. Trying not to panic, you called him once more. When no response came, you announced, “I’m coming in,” before twisting the doorknob and opening the door.

Quickly surveying the room for anything wrong, you sighed in relief at the sight of Shindou asleep in his bed, headphones covering his ears. Once the concern left you, you rolled your eyes in amusement. “Worried sick, huh?” you muttered, shaking your head and making your way over to stand at the side of his bed. Without warning, you flopped onto the bed next to him, throwing your weight into your fall. The mattress springs squeaked in resistance and Shindou was sent a few inches into the air, startling him awake. He ripped his headphones off and raised his hands into fists, seemingly ready for a fight before his eyes landed on you, casually lying in his bed with a devious smirk on your face.

His wide eyes blinked in confusion, and he reached up to rub at them before asking, “Y/N?”

You finally laughed at the confused look on his face. “Hey, Shindou. How was school today?”

At the mention of school, he was wide awake. The look on his face turned serious, and he gave you a slight glare. “I should be the one asking you that! A villain attack?!” He looked you up and down, concern etched into his features. “Are you hurt?”

Your smile turned soft, and you placed your hands on his shoulders. “Look, I’m fine! See? Not a scratch on me!” Except for the one on my back, you thought, but he didn't need to know about that. ��As if I’d let some lowlife villain get the best of me!” you scoffed. “Besides, they really didn't know what they were doing with the whole attack. They basically made it easier for us all to fight back.”

Shindou raised an eyebrow, intrigued, yet still concerned. “They did? How?”

You giggled, finding humor in the convenience of the situation. “Okay, I probably shouldn't be laughing because I got really lucky they messed up the way they did, but it's just so perfect! We were at a training facility specifically for rescue training, so there were different zones for different types of disasters. And when the villains first showed up, they had their warper villain separate us into the different zones so they could pick us off individually, and—“

“So they were trying to kill you guys?!” Shindou asked, alarmed.

You sighed, frustrated at the interruption. “Yeah, they were. Anyway,” you continued, ignoring the growing concern in Shindou’s face, “we were all sent to the different disaster zones randomly. And, get this,” you giggled, pausing for dramatic effect, “they sent me to the fire zone.”

Shindou blinked, processing your statement before a bemused grin formed. “They didn't!”

“They did!” you cackled. The two of you laughed together for a few moments, with you hugging your sides. You wiped a tear from your eye, proceeding with your explanation of the day’s events. “Yeah, Ojiro and I took care of those assholes in no time.”

“Ojiro?” Shindou asked.

“Oh yeah, I haven't told you about any of my classmates yet. Ojiro’s got this really cool tail Quirk, and he's insane at martial arts!” You mimed some of the moves you’d seen your classmate perform earlier in the day, a large grin on your face. “With me practically giving them heatstroke and him kicking them into the concrete, they hardly stood a chance against us!” You smiled and leaned back in the bed, hands behind your head as you smiled at the ceiling. “I wasn't the only one who got a convenient placement, either. One of my classmates, Tsuyu, has a frog mutation Quirk. One of the many, many things she can do with her Quirk is swim fast.”

“Oh, let me guess,” Shindou cut in. “Flood zone?”

“Close,” you responded. “Shipwreck.”

Shindou snapped his fingers, muttering, “Damn.” He turned to face you, a small smile on his face. “You really did get lucky today, huh? You're sure you're alright?”

You nodded, returning his smile. “I promise, I'm perfectly fine. Other than this one kid with a really self-destructive Quirk and two of our teachers, nobody got seriously hurt. And those three are gonna be just fine, last I heard.” You let out a dreamy sigh. “Aside from, you know, the threat of death and all, it was cool seeing everyone’s Quirks in action. My classmates are all really cool.”

If you hadn't been staring at the ceiling, you might've noticed a certain glint in Shindou’s eyes. Having known him all your life, you would've immediately recognized the look as one he gets when scheming to himself. However, as you were looking away, he was met with no confrontation as a sly grin formed on his face. “Yeah,” he said. “They do sound pretty cool. Why don't you tell me more about them?”

You laid face down in your bed, unable to face the shame of meeting your friend’s gaze. Such a defeat had been humiliating, broadcast for the whole nation to see your failure. I can never go outside again, you thought. My entire career, down the drain. It was fun while it lasted. You'd survived an attack by villains, but this? This was your downfall.

“Y/N,” groaned Shindou, tired of your dramatics. “You got third place. That's good. What are you so embarrassed about?”

You lifted your head off your pillow to sent him a scathing glare. He rolled his eyes, not at all intimidated. “It wasn't good enough! I only got to the tournament round because Ojiro dropped out, and then I couldn't even last a minute against Todoroki! Me! Losing to the kid with the ice quirk!” You flopped your head back down, heaving another loud sigh into the pillow. “Who’d want to take me on as an intern after that mess I made out there...?” Your voice, muffled by the pillow, barely reached Shindou.

“Well, Yoroi Musha, for one,” Shindou muttered, rolling his eyes before letting out a laugh at the way your head jerked up in surprise.

“Wait, for real?!”

Shindou nodded. “You haven't gotten the offers yet, but he said he was impressed by your performance and thinks you'd be a good fit at the agency. Because, you know, you got third place and did a really good job, Y/N.” He watched as you processed those, waiting for the excited laughter that normally came when you received good news. This was a big deal, after all, and a great opportunity for your career. The laughter never came, however, as he saw you blink in confusion, your eyebrows furrowing. He sighed, realizing the issue. You still weren't satisfied with your performance, and you didn't understand why a high-ranking hero was impressed. Shaking his head, he moved to sit next to you on your bed, forcing you to roll into your back to make room for him. Lightly nudging your shoulder, he got your attention, asking, “Look, let's talk about what happened today. Maybe it'll get you to understand how well you actually did. Forget the second round and start with the first tournament match. Who were you up against?”

You sighed, grabbing your pillow and covering your face with it. “You watched the whole thing, you already know—“

“We’re talking each other through it,” he cut you off, ripping your pillow away. “Now, who did you fight?”

You let out a frustrated groan. “Fine. Kaminari Denki. My classmate.”

Shindou nodded. “Quirk?”

“Electricity.”

“And how did you beat him?”

“Kept my distance, since he’s better at short-range combat. Used my Quirk to make the air around us hotter, exhausting him faster and increasing the air’s resistance to electric current, making his attacks slower. I just waited for him to short out at that point,” you recited. You sighed once you finished. “Okay yeah, I did okay in that fight, but what about—?”

“Patience,” Shindou gently said, ruffling your hair as he cut you off yet again. Ignoring your pointed glare and avoiding your hand swatting his away, he nodded. “Next round. Who’d you fight?”

“Iida Tenya. Engine Quirk. I caused his engines to overheat,” you said, covering the questions you knew he'd ask before he got to them. “Harder to target him because he moved too fast, and he nearly got me out of the ring at one point.”

Shindou nodded. “Good, good.” He smiled down at me. “Now, the last round.”

You sighed, turning on your side away from him as your face flushed in embarrassment. “Do we really need to go over this one? It was embarrassing enough living through it.”

Shindou gripped your shoulder, rolling you back and laughing when he saw the pout on your face. “Yes, we do. It's important to understand your failures and learn from them. Can't be a good hero if you don't do that.”

You folded your arms over your chest. “...Fine. Todoroki Shouto. Half-hot, half-cold. I've only ever seen him use his fire against Midoriya, though.” You paused, frown deepening on your face.

Shindou poked your cheek at the corner of your frown, a smirk on his face. “Go on,” he teased.

“When the round started he sent ice to capture me like he did for everyone else. I used my Quirk to melt the ice, but I didn't evaporate it because the steam would have blocked my vision.”

“So the water was still on the floor of the ring?” Shindou asked.

“Yeah. I tried to get closer to him, since he seems like he prefers long-range attacks. Plus if he used his fire, I could've turned that against him. He didn't. And he kept avoiding me while I tried to close the distance until we basically circled the stage.”

“And,” Shindou added, “while this was happening you weren't focused on where you were standing.”

You shook your head. “Nope, just focused on getting closer to him.”

“So when you circled the stage—“

“I ended up back where I started,” you ground out between clenched teeth, “right where the puddle was from the ice I melted.”

“And the puddle?”

“Frozen over.”

“So,” Shindou continued, covering his mouth to try and stifle a laugh. “When you stepped on the ice?”

You sighed, sending him a pointed glare at his poor attempt to hide his laughter. “I fell on my ass, and Todoroki knocked me off the stage with more ice.”

Shindou snorted at the memory. He took in a breath, trying not to laugh too much when you were still embarrassed over the whole situation. “Now, if you had to do something different during that fight, what would you have done?”

You thought for a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “Well,” you started, “I’d definitely get rid of that puddle, for one.” You continued to think, nodding to yourself. “I could try to do what Midoriya did and wait for him to overuse his ice, instead of chasing him around like I did. He'd either wear himself out from the cold or he'd use his fire, which I could turn against him.” You smiled, proud of yourself for your plan, before the smile dropped and you slammed your face into the pillow again. “Ugh, why didn't I just do that?!”

Shindou rubbed your back soothingly, a slight smirk on his face. “It's alright Y/N,” he said. “Now you know better, and you can probably beat him next time you go against him.”

You lifted your head, and his smirk vanished and was replaced with a smile. You sent him a soft smile, saying, “Thank you, Shindou. This was actually helpful. Think we can do this more often?”

He reached up to ruffle your hair, briefly blocking your view of his face as the smirk returned. “Of course! If you ever wanna go over a training exercise or something else you guys did in class, feel free to reach out.”

You sat up fully and leaned over to pull Shindou into a hug. You buried your face into his shoulder. Shindou blinked in surprise, his smirk dropping, but immediately returned the hug. For a brief moment, he felt a twinge of guilt, and considered telling you his real intentions. He shook his head, dismissing the thought and pulling you closer. They’ll understand eventually, he reasoned to himself.

Over the next couple of months, you'd taken Shindou up on his offer multiple times. After eventful Heroics classes, sparring sessions, or days where you just trained your Quirk, you'd call Shindou or visit his place to talk yourself through the experience. You'd go over the matches you'd win, detailing what strategies you'd used so you could understand which worked and which didn't. You extensively covered the matches you'd lost, analyzing together what your opponents did that got the best of you. Shindou would occasionally interject with his own ideas of how you could have utilized your Quirk, but for the most part he guided you to talk on your own.

When the time came to do your internship, you'd decided to join Yoroi Musha, who—just as Shindou had told you—extended you an offer to join him at his agency. Unfortunately, Shindou’s internship would occur in a different week, so the two of you did not get the chance to work together. Regardless, he continued to encourage you via text when you were free. Your regular analysis was put on a temporary halt, as you were getting plenty of feedback on your performance from your new mentor. Shindou, interestingly enough, did not reach out and offer to begin the conversation as much during this week, even though he was normally very enthusiastic in doing so. You shrugged this off, not seeing this as very unusual. After all, end of term exams had been approaching, and he was probably busy studying. This was a relatively new arrangement, after all.

When your end of term exams passed, however, his enthusiasm returned full force. He insisted you analyze the practical portion of the exam with very close attention to detail.

“After all,” he suggested, “it's not every day you get to fight against a Pro Hero.”

Finding no fault in his logic, you agreed. Interestingly enough, the direction he took when guiding your analysis wasn't what you expected. Rather than focus on the strategies you used against Midnight, Shindou had you focus on how well you worked with your teammate, and how you utilized both of your Quirks to your advantage. It all made sense why, however, after hearing him explain that in the field you'd likely find yourself having to improvise with a partner you haven't worked with before.

“But aren't we going to be partners?” you interjected, eyebrow raised as you teased him.

“Yeah, of course,” he nonchalantly responded. “But there might be times when we get separated for whatever reasons. You gotta learn to work with other people, you know?”

And after detailing how you were able to work together with Sero to win the match, that was the last analysis discussion the two of you would have. You told him about how your class would be going on a forest lodge trip during the summer, so you wouldn't be able to visit until you got back. He pouted when you told him, making you promise you'd visit as soon as you got back.

You giggled, pulling him in for a hug. “Of course!” You leaned forward and gave him a peck on the cheek, laughing as he blushed. “I know you'll get lonely without me, so I promise not to leave you alone for too long!” Shindou shook his head, muttering under his breath about you being embarrassing, but returned the hug. So you left, with the promise of a swift return and the sharing of any cool stories that happened over the summer.

And then the training camp was attacked. And your classmate was kidnapped. And you, without hesitation, joined your classmates in the rescue attempt. And though your rescue was successful, and you escaped without serious injury, and the villain that leveled the ward, leaving little behind was defeated—

It was all too much. You needed to get away, even if only briefly.

While the teachers made their rounds informing parents of the new dorms on campus, you made your way to Shindou’s apartment. Giving his mother the usual polite greeting, you were startled at her suddenly pulling you into a hug.

“We were so happy,” she said, voice wavering as she held back tears, “to hear that you were safe, Y/N.” She pulled away and wiped at her eyes, a soft smile on her face. “Yo is in his room. I know you came here to see him and not deal with me crying, so go on ahead.” She shooed you off in the direction of Shindou’s room, so you left her alone. You made your way to his room to see the door cracked open. You were about to announce your presence and walk in, when you heard another voice in the room.

“Wow, you got all that from one person?” The voice was male and was clearly coming from a phone speaker. You stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt his phone call, so you stood outside the door and waited for his to finish.

“Yeah, I have a friend in class 1-A over there, and they’ve told me a bunch about their classmates and their Quirks,” you heard Shindou say. “Strengths, weaknesses, fighting styles. All of it.”

“Wow! For real?” exclaimed the voice on the other end. “Are they trying to set up their class to fail or something?”

Shindou laughed in response. “Nah, I don't think they know that the license exam is a competition yet. We've been having these conversations so they can ‘improve their strategy’ when fighting. Which, to be fair,” he said, oh so casually like he wasn't breaking your trust and heart with every word, “we technically are. That's just...not the whole reason, is all.”

A moment of silence from the person on the other end, and you swear you could heart your heart pounding in your ears as the weight of how you'd been betrayed settled on you. The license exam? That’s why he'd been helping you? While you thought you were bonding with someone you'd known your whole life, he was gathering info to use against your class in an exam. To become a hero.

“...Huh. Your friend sounds kinda gullible,” the person on the other end, who you could only guess was one of Shindou’s classmates, finally responded. You scoffed quietly, shaking your head. Gullible. Because it was so wrong to trust that kind of info with someone you shared everything with? With someone who promised you to always be at your side and support you?

At Shindou’s laugh and the response of, “Maybe,” you'd decided you'd heard enough. You stood in front of the door, taking in a deep breath. You wiped at the tears in your eyes, swallowed down the burning pain in your throat, and hesitantly knocked at the door. Silence on the other side. “...Hey, I'll call you back later, okay?” you heard Shindou say into the phone. He must have turned off the speaker, as you heard no response before footsteps made their way to the door, which slowly opened to reveal Shindou on the other side.

Once he saw you, his eyes widened and he immediately pulled you into a tight hug. “Y/N,” he muttered, bringing his hand up to rest on the back of your head. “You’re okay...” Feeling the burning pain in your throat return, you resisted the urge to shove him away and yell at him over everything you'd overheard. Instead, you hesitantly raised your arms and returned the hug, embracing the warm feeling and trying to gain some sense of comfort in it. You didn't find much.

He eventually pulled away, frowning down at you as he placed his hands on your shoulders. “We were already worried enough when we heard your camp got attacked, but you had to go off and pull some stupid stunt that nearly got yourself killed again?” At your confused look, Shindou’s gaze narrowed on you. “Your dad called my mom. We know about how you and some classmates of yours rescued that Bakugou kid.” He let out a shaky sigh, his grip on your shoulders tightening. He closed his eyes tightly. “Just...don't do something that reckless again.” His eyes opened, and he gave you a small smile. “I can't be part of the best hero duo if my partner goes and gets themself killed, right?”

Still hurt over both his betrayal and how he had the nerve to act concerned about you after just bragging about how he tricked you, it took a bit of effort to put on a convincing smile. You knew, with how long the two of you had known each other, that it wouldn't be enough to convince him, so you pulled him into another hug so he wouldn't have to see it. “I’m fine. I promise I won't do anything like that again. You don't need to worry...”

He pulled away, giving a quick ruffle to your hair before he reached down to grab a bag on the floor, slinging it over his shoulder. “Good. Listen, as much as I’d love to stay, you kinda caught me at a bad time. I have to get back to the agency—my internship actually starts today!” He leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, and you did your best not to let the fluttering feeling in your chest make you forget what he did to you. “I’ll see ya soon, Y/N!” He waved and jogged over to leave his apartment after saying goodbye to his mother.

You let out a shaky breath once he was gone, the tension of holding in your emotion almost overwhelming. You wanted nothing more at that moment than to go home and have a nice cry session in your room, curtains drawn, with your favorite music playing at full volume. Before you could make your way to the exit, however, you were stopped by a call from Shindou’s mother.

“Oh wait, Y/N, before you go!” She stood in front of you, a DVD case in her hand. “I just found out the other day that Yo never let you see what happened in his school’s Sports Festival!”

Your eyes zeroed in on the blank DVD case, wide in surprise. “Huh. He never even told me that they had one....” Which, now that you thought about it, seemed silly. Every school had a Sports Festival. Especially every hero school. And while most weren't broadcasted, like UA’s and Shiketsu’s were, they would certainly record events for parents to view, right?

Shindou’s mother rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Honestly, I can't imagine why not. He did excellently this year! Sure, there were a few moments he was embarrassed about, but we all watched your performance!” She handed you the DVD case. “Here, we had a spare copy, so I think you should have this one. Enjoy!” She hugged you before sending you on your way, making sure to call out a “Stay safe!” before you closed the door.

Standing outside the apartment, you stared down at the DVD case in your hands. On the disc, you'd be able to watch Shindou and his classmates’ Quirks in action. See how they fight, how they strategize, how they act. Every bit of information Shindou coerced from you, you would be able to watch. And his mother had handed it over with a smile on her face.

A grin developed, and you snickered to yourself. This? This would even the odds. You pulled out your phone, pressing on Midoriya’s contact before typing out a text. ‘Hey, you like analyzing Quirks, right? I have something you might be interested in watching...’

A manic grin was on your face as you dodged a ball thrown by a Ketsubutsu student. Your plan was working perfectly. Your classmates had been thoroughly informed of the Quirks and fighting styles of Ketsubutsu’s class 2-2. While you'd all been caught slightly off guard at how most of the examinees immediately targeted your class, you very quickly recovered and fought back.

You had to suppress a cackle when you saw Tokoyami strike at Nakagame, who quickly collapsed her torso into herself using her Quirk to dodge, only to be struck by Ojiro while her vision was obscured. Midoriya was spot on with his analysis, and your classmates had clearly paid close attention. For every strike they made, your class countered with peak efficiency. Even as Shindou’s Quirk scattered the class, they had prepared beforehand for this scenario and were not too shaken by the attack.

You hit the third target on a Ketsubutsu student, laughing all the while. “One down, one to go!” you cheered, quickly scanning the area to see if any other examinees were nearby. Upon spotting a familiar mess of brown hair out of the corner of your eye, you quickly spun to face Shindou, who was looking at you from a distance away. You got in a stance, ready to fight against him if he attacked. Shindou’s eyes narrowed, glancing between you and his classmate who you'd just defeated. His mouth settled into a frown, and he turned and ran to another area of the stadium.

You'd wanted to smirk at him, taunt him for being outsmarted by your class, but you instead found yourself mirroring his expression and his silence. You'd gotten him back after he tricked you; you should have been happy, right? Proud of yourself? Despite reasoning this to yourself, however, a growing weight filled the void your pride left.

You shook your head, breaking yourself from your thoughts. You didn't have time to think about how seeing Shindou had made you feel. You had one more student to eliminate. You could focus on him later.

Your name was there. On the list, plain as day for all to read. You'd gotten your license, and all your hard work, all the late-night analysis with Midoriya, all the heartache you'd felt over Shindou’s betrayal was worth it.

Your eyes drifted slightly, and you spotted “Shindou Yo” somewhere else on the list. You supposed all of Shindou’s preparation paid off for him, too.

After obtaining your license, you followed the rest of your class to the bus to return to the dorms. Before boarding, you caught sight of Shindou again. He was speaking to Nakagame, you noticed you and gave an awkward smile and wave. Shindou turned to see who she was waving at, and his eyes widened when he saw you. You two stared each other down for a brief moment, before you broke the tension by turning to board the bus.

The weight in your chest felt heavier now.

The weight of the many presents you carried in your arms was only slightly heavier than the dread settling in your gut. Unwilling to admit to the tensions between you and Shindou, you couldn't come up with a plausible excuse to break the tradition your families had held for many years. Based on the warm greeting Shindou’s parents gave you when they finally answered the door, you assumed that Shindou hadn't told his parents either. You stepped inside and let the warm air rush over you, bringing feeling back into your numb fingertips and increasing the unnerving feeling in you.

“Shindou, don't be rude! Help Y/N out with those presents! Poor thing looks like they’re about to drop them,” Shindou’s mom scolded him, drawing your attention to where he'd been standing in the far corner of the room, partially obscured by the Christmas tree. You saw his mouth settle into a firm line; not quite a frown, but definitely showing discomfort. He pushed off the wall he'd been leaning against and made his way over to you. As he held out his hands to you, you stared at him dumbfoundedly. Here he was, standing in front of you after months of not speaking to each other, and he doesn't even say hello.

You were broken out of your thoughts by him clearing his throat. “You gonna hand them over, or...?” he trailed off, raising an eyebrow. You startled a bit, nearly dropping a present or two with how quickly you shoved the pile into his arms. As you saw him struggle to keep the pile balanced, you flushed in embarrassment and walked away, moving over to where your parents were engaged in a jovial conversation with Shindou’s.

Shindou’s mom saw you and smiled, holding out two steaming mugs of hot chocolate to you. “Just in time! I made these just the way you two like them. Oh, careful!” she warned, handing them over to you. “They're still pretty hot. Well, not that that would be an issue for you, but still...Anyway, why don't the two of you catch up on your own? We haven't seen you in a while, so I'm sure you have a lot to talk about!”

The cheer in her smile was something you couldn't help but smile and nod in return at, taking the mugs from her with a soft “Thanks,” and making your way over to the couch by the tree, where Shindou was sitting.

His eyes followed you the whole way over, not looking away as you approached. You, on the other hand, struggled to meet his eyes as you handed his mug to him. He accepted it, giving you a small nod before taking a sip. You stood where you were, bringing the cup to your lips to take a sip when you noticed his raised eyebrow. You returned it, asking, “What?” He tilted his head to the side, gesturing to the empty seat on the couch next to him. You blinked. An “oh” left your lips, and you slowly moved to sit in the small space next to him on the couch.

As you settled into your spot, you tried leaving a small amount of space between you two, though your knee still brushed against his. You spared a glance over at Shindou, only to see him staring intently at the mug in his hands. A small sigh left your lips, and you raised your mug to take a sip. The scalding feeling on your tongue, while not capable of actually hurting you, was a comfortable distraction from the awkward situation you found yourself in. For a few moments, the two of you sat in silence, with the only sounds heard being the distant chatter of your parents and the low hum of the heater. It was awkward, yes, but neither of you had mentioned the obvious source of tension yet. Maybe, you thought, today wouldn't be too unbearable.

“So, Y/N...” Shindou began, breaking the silence and shattering all your hopes of the evening being salvaged. “I think we both know exactly how my classmates got their info on yours...”

You snorted, lifting the mug to your lips. “Yeah, I know.” You took a long sip, hoping the burning feeling traveling down your throat might push down the angry words that wanted to come out. “Something about a ‘gullible friend in 1-A who doesn't realize this is all a competition’, right?” It didn't help much.

For a moment you thought you saw him cringe, and you heard a mutter along the lines of “...didn’t think you’d hear that...” before seeing him shake his head. “Anyway, I wanted to know how your class seemed so ready for the exam. You all were so coordinated with your attacks, like you knew our Quirks and strategies beforehand.”

You hummed, before raising an eyebrow and shooting him a smirk. “You know, I don't really think I owe you an explanation after what you did.”

Shindou visibly deflated, letting out a sigh and nodding. “Yeah, that's fair.”

You nodded with him. “But!” you began, a grin forming when you saw him perk up. “You probably know better than anyone how much I love bragging whenever I beat you at your own game.” Shindou pulled a face somewhere between a grimace and a smile, seemingly happy he'd get his answer yet embarrassed at the reminder of how thoroughly his plan failed. “Remember that day I dropped by after the Kamino Ward attack, and you headed off to your internship?” At his nod, your grin turned devious. “Well, your mother oh so graciously offered to let me watch the footage from your school’s Sports Festival this year. She gave me a spare DVD.”

His eyes widened comically, glancing over to where his parents were, causing you to cackle. “Seriously?” he asked. “That's all it took? We couldn't even get that much info from your Sports Festival, that's why we came up with that whole scheme in the first place!”

You nodded. “True, but I guess you all don't have a strategist like Midoriya in your class.”

Shindou raised an eyebrow. “The bone-breaking kid?”

You waved a hand. “He doesn't do that anymore. At least, not that often...but that's beside the point. I texted him about the DVD, let him borrow it, and he came up with plans to counter your classmates in the exam.”

Shindou blinked, processing your words. “Wow,” he started. He blinked a few more times before taking a sip from his mug. “That was pretty smart, I guess. He even planned for Makabe and Tokegi’s joint attack, and they've been working on that since the first year!”

You gave a confused hum, not quite sure who he was referring to before it hit you. “Oh! The ones with the boomerang and hardening Quirks, right?” At his nod, you grinned at the opportunity to ramble about strategy. “Well, the boomerang Quirk is kinda similar to Snipe-sensei’s, and we’ve had experience dodging his Quirk before. Also, while the hardening Quirk isn't exactly like my classmate Kirishima’s, it seemed like the hardness was similar enough. And since Ashido accidentally burned Kirishima once in a training accident even though he was using his Quirk, we figured if her acid was corrosive enough it could get past your classmate’s Quirk easily enough.” You paused your take a breath, devious grin widening further. “You all didn't take the corrosiveness into account because she kept it pretty low for the Sports Festival, and when you fished information from me about her I didn't know how corrosive it could be. We were pretty lucky on that part, but I still think we could've done just as well even if you had known.”

Shindou nodded. “You're right, then. You really did beat me at my own game.” He smiled at you and lightly nudged you with his elbow. “Not bad, Y/N.”

You smiled back, before the burning feeling in your chest returned with full force. Your smile dropped, and you turned away from him again. “Yeah, well, me outsmarting you after you tricked me doesn't exactly mean what you did was okay.” You clenched the mug tightly in your grip, bringing it close to your chest. The hot chocolate had gone cold during your conversation, and you stared down into it while trying to ignore the stinging tears in your eyes. “You said we’d be heroes together. Partners. What kind of hero sabotages their partner?”

Shindou’s eyes widened, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled for what to say. “Y/N, I didn't...I mean, I wasn't trying to—“ he stammered, before you cut him off.

“But you did,” you cut him off. The mug trembled in your hands as you accidentally used your quirk, and steam began rising from it again. “You took my trust and used it against me and my classmates. And for what? There were so many other schools there you could've gone after. Hell, we could've teamed up and gone after them together! But it was more convenient to just use me, I guess.”

Shindou’s frown deepened. He reached out and placed his hand on your shoulder, only to quickly retract with a hiss at the heat you were giving off. Startled, you quickly stopped using your Quirk and gave him an apologetic frown. “Sorry,” you muttered. You sighed deeply, leaning your head back against the couch. “I guess I'm no better, huh? Your parents were being nice and I took advantage of that...”

Silence hung in the air. Both of your parents had left the room a while ago, and the droning of the heater settled into the background unnoticed. Shindou’s hand found its way to your shoulder again, more hesitant this time. When you didn't respond or shrug him off, he slowly pulled you closer to him, hand moving to your head and gently resting it on his shoulder. You frowned, feeling the tears well up in your eyes again, but didn't resist.

“I'm sorry,” Shindou said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. You snuggled closer to him in response, staying quiet. He lightly ran his fingers through your hair. When he was sure you weren't going to say anything in response, he continued, “Not that it means much to say this now, but congratulations on getting your license.” You snorted at the statement, many months too late. He lightly chuckled, saying, “Yeah, I know. But even though we haven't exactly been working together, it's been nice having you at the agency. Nakagame won't shut up about her ‘cute new sidekick’, even though we’re all sidekicks.”

You snickered. “Looks like I'm stealing your friend. Maybe she'll be my hero partner when we graduate...”

Shindou rolled his eyes. “If anything, she's trying to steal you from me. Not like that’s gonna happen. You're my partner, got that?”

You lifted your head slightly from his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at him. “Oh, am I now?”

Shindou nodded. “I promised you, didn't I? I know I've been a major idiot lately,” he started, ignoring your muttered comment of “Yeah, no kidding...” and continuing, “but if the two of us work together we’re gonna top the charts in no time.”

You smiled at him, leaning back on his shoulder. “Well, I'm looking forward to that!” You closed your eyes and let out a breath, feeling the tension wash away from you. Shindou’s head tilted, resting atop yours. Things weren't perfect, and you would probably need to have a more in-depth conversation later, but for now, things were better.

“Oh, Shindou?”

“Hm?”

“I gotta say, your performance at the Sports Festival could've been better. We have a lot of work to do if we're gonna top the charts.”

“...Shut up...”

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Five)

Memories (also available on Wattpad)

Chapter Four ※※※※※ Chapter Six

Noah parks the car in front of a beautiful house. My stomach churns more every second and I almost throw up when Leah opens my door. I spent the whole way rehearsing what I was going to say, but in truth, I can't remember anything and I have doubts if I will even be able to say ‘hi’.

“Well, Noah's house is down the street, we'll be there. In case it goes wrong, just call, text or shout, I don't know. We come running. Now, just in case you are okay, just don't send anything.” Leah fixes my hair and coat.

“Good luck!” Noah gives me a kiss on the cheek, before they get in the car.

I take a deep breath about five times before I press the bell. I hear the house door open and I almost pass out. Seconds later the gate opens and I feel my pressure drop slightly.

“Marnie? How did you get here?” he looks for a car, but the twins are gone.

“The wonder twins brought me.” I shrug.

“Why are you here?” he doesn't look happy or sad to see me.

“Hm, I need to talk to you. About the two of us, more precisely.” I press my fingers against each other, noticing my trembling.

“Okay, do you need help to get in?” he asks pointing to the boot on my foot. I accept the help and with support I enter his house.

I stand in the hall while he closes the door. We head to the kitchen, where he offers me a drink, but I refuse. If I drink something now, I’m sure I’ll get it out.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” he asks with a fake smile.

“Do you know.” I speak softly and awkwardly.

“About your meeting with Stephen? Yeah, I know.” he raises his eyebrows quickly, before opening a bottle of water.

“Luke …” I start, but he interrupts me.

“What? Isn't that what I'm thinking? Or was he the one who kissed you?” Luke doesn't change his tone of voice, but it still hurts. I am even ashamed to say that it was both alternatives.

“I really had no intention, he took advantage of the moment.” I try to defend myself.

“Yes, Marnie, that's what he does, what he's always done and what he's always going to do.” he look at me upset.

“Please try to understand me, I needed to see him, I needed to talk to him.” I'm starting to despair. It looks like it will come to nothing.

“The worst thing is that I understand, Marnie. I don't know how things are in your head, but if you needed it, we would arrange it, because all we want to do is help you.” he hits the bottle against the island's hail.

“I never wanted any of this to happen.” I look back at him after a while. “Both the accident and Stephen. If I had my head in place, I wouldn't have let any of that happen. Sorry.” Luke cuts eye contact and stares at the floor. “I never meant to hurt you.” I whisper. “And I will understand if you hate me for the rest of your life. Believe me, I hate myself a lot now.” I finish.

Luke lets out a humorless laugh and I notice his teary eyes.

“That's the problem, Marnie. Since I saw you, I try to hate you and I can't, you must know why.” he throws the ball back to me.

Cause he love me. I look away, not being able to sustain it. I know the answer, that's the shit. I sit on the stool facing the glass door leading to his garden. Luke sits next to me and we stay like that for a few minutes.

“I just don't want him to manipulate you, or hurt you. Marnie, I know how this story still moves you, how it is still hurt. I don't want to have to see you go through this again.” he vented, visibly tired.

I can't say anything for a few minutes. My mind spins at high speed. I review all my memories with Stephen at school, on the afternoons he took me to the beach or the pier and everything seemed perfect, like in a movie. I feel my heart race in nostalgia and longing. Even angry, even disgusted.

“When he kissed me …” I start, but Luke tries to interrupt me. “It didn't feel right. It wasn't him.” I finish quickly, returning to face him. His blue eyes look at me with a mixture of pain and hope. “I know I don't remember you and us yet, but something inside me knows and I want to hear that thing, but at the same time, I feel like an intruder in my own life. As if I were an impostor, the bad twin. In my head, I was going to leave everything the way it was, untouchable, so that when the ‘real me’ came back, everything was in place.” I vent.

It is horrible not to fit in with my own life, with my own self.

“What if doesn't come back?” he asks quietly.

“I freak out.” I shrug, making him laugh lightly. At least I made him laugh.

Of so many people at that intersection, of so many cars, mine had to be hit. In the midst of this confusion, if it had to happen, then I would prefer it to be a total blank, forget everything. Perhaps it was easier to start from scratch, than from a crucial point for what I have become today.

“What made you believe the story?” Luke asks quietly.

“I wrote in my diary, shortly after we met and probably I tell you. Everything that happened that day.” my throat closes when I remember the written words. “It was hard to believe my mother, because I know she couldn't stand him, but I couldn't help but believe me.”

“I thought you stopped with the diary.” I look at him confused “That's what you said to me, a while after you told me about the day and about the diary.”

“Did you read the diary?” I ask with my breath caught. I remember everything I said about him. I feel my cheeks heat up. This is what I haven't read all yet.

“No, you never left.” he shrugs. I breathe relieved.

We stayed in silence for a while longer. It is strange that even with all this hurricane, I feel very comfortable with Luke. My body recognizes him.

“Honestly, I'm trying to absorb everything. I'm upset with the kiss, but, deep down, I always knew you weren't to blame, but it still hurts. Deep down, we both know we need some time and I don't want to lock you up to me.” he speaks looking at the garden.

I look at him confusedly.

“Are we breaking up?” I don't know if that's what I wanted.

“It doesn't have to be an end, just a break.” he shrugs.

“Luke, a break, is a disguised ending.” again he laughs, I don't know why.

“Deep down, you're still the same Marnie, even though you feel like an intruder.” he looks at me with a smile and again, I feel intimidated around him. I look away. “I don't want to break up with you, Marnie, but I know you need space and time. Like me. It's just a break, but if you meet someone and don't want to come back… I will understand and respect you.” he explains.

So it seemed easier, meeting someone new, starting from scratch. New memories, without having to stick to the past, without trying to reconstruct everything. It looks so easy, why does it seem so wrong!?

“What if you find someone?” I ask quietly, looking at the drawings of my cast, as if that were a thousand times more interesting.

“I doubt it, but if it does, I'll talk to you first and we'll see what to do. You need to get close to the people and I don't want to be a hindrance, they are your friends too and you need them.”

I need you too, hell. I bounce mentally, without the courage to say it out loud. I know I need him, but I can't make him stay if he doesn't feel comfortable.

“Won't be that weird climate? I don't want it to be that thing just because I arrived, you have to go and vice versa.” I face him. Luke watches me for a few seconds before proceeding.

“There's no reason to be. We are fine, we always have been.” he assures me.

I roll my eyes, visibly irritated. Why does he have to be so understandable? Couldn't he yell at me and hate me? It would be much easier to go on like this.

“You can't be real.” I mumble, making him laugh again, but this time louder.

“Come here.” he gets up and pulls me into a hug.

Luke was taller. Much taller. Then it got a little difficult, without being able to stay at my tiptoes. He notices and sits back down, burying his face in my neck. I close my eyes, feeling its scent bring me a sensation, but it doesn't bring me any memory.

Still hugging him, I scan his refrigerator, seeing a polaroid of ours holding Petunia, his little dog, glued to a drawing. In art, I see Luke, me, Petunia and my brothers all holding hands and several flowers around. I soften seeing that he still keeps everything.

“ I'm sorry.” I whisper again.

“It's okay, M&Ms.” he whispers back.

I leave the embrace, feeling lighter and calmer. Luke still gives me a kiss on the forehead before I pull away completely. As good as the mood was, I was not going to push my luck, I had better go. I send a message to Leah and wait.

“Er, Ash commented on a dinner on Friday, are you going?” I ask.

“Still don1t know.” he sighs. “But it is very likely. You want me to go?” he questions uncertain.

“Yes! I would like it very much. It will be good to be with everyone.”

“Then I go.” he gives a closed smile.

“Er, before I go …” I feel embarrassed again “What about Petunia?”

“Do you remember her?” question incredulously.

“It was one of the first things I remembered in PowerPoint.” I reply shy.

“Do you remember her and not me?” he remains incredulous.

“ I'm sorry.” I don't hold it for a long time, I cover my face and start laughing, really nervous. Luke stops with his hands on his hips, shaking his head.

“Michael went to hike the observatory and offered to take her. Maybe I’ll take her on Friday.” he smiles.

“Thanks!”

I hear the car and say goodbye to him. As I expected, Noah and Leah look closely at the two of us, like two curious children. Luke helps me into the car and gives me another kiss on the forehead.

“Please take good care of her.” he asks leaning against the window.

“I don't know what you mean by that.” Noah is offended. “If you still refer to the day she tried to escape and hung in the bathroom window, it was only once! And I was busy doing my feet.”

“Wait, what?” I ask scared from the back seat.

What the fuck did I hang on the bathroom window?

“Long story, I'll explain later.” Noah counters.

We said goodbye again and left. I stick my head out of the window, waving at him.

I don't know what my future is with Luke, but I was very happy that we got it right. And, deep down, I didn't lose hope, after all, I already fell in love with him once, nothing prevents it from happening again.

“So?” Leah asks.

“We took a break, but we're fine.” I smile happily.

[...]

I leave the closet wearing a black cotton dress, because it was the easiest clothes to wear, because of the boot. The hair stuck in a ponytail, due to the heat. And without makeup, I'm not into it.

“Well?” I ask Noah, who was lying on my bed reading a magazine that I was on the cover.

“Beautiful as always. Ready?” he throws the magazine on the chair, coming towards me.

“No!” I give a nervous smile.

“Everything will be fine. Everyone is crazy to see you. You will love.” he hugs me, rocking me from side to side. “Shall we go?”

I confirm after a sigh. Everyone was at Ashton's house, ready to see me, and as ready as I felt, deep down, I wasn't.

The rest of my week was quiet, few memories, but a lot of pain in my arm, but the doctor said it would be common for one day or another to hurt. My father, my mother, Leah and Ashton came to visit me almost every day and after much conversation, I convinced my mother to return to her home. So at the end of the day, I was alone. Which is great, because I have peace and quiet to put my ideas in place.

On the way to Ashton's house, I go over some points with Noah so as not to be embarrassed, I know they are not expecting much from me, but even so, I prefer to avoid constraints.

As we get closer to the house, I feel my stomach churn. I try to snap my fingers, but with a hand in a cast it doesn't give much. When we park at the door, my legs freeze and I need Noah to help me more than usual to get out of the car.

Noah rings the bell and the laughter that filled the house ceases. Ashton opens the door and, when he sees us, opens a smile, hugging me and pulling me inside. I take his arm and follow him into the living room, where everyone is standing looking at me anxiously.

Michael. Kyleen. Calum. Luke. Leah.

“Piggy!” I shout excited when she comes towards me.

“I still can't get over it.” I hear Luke speak indignantly, but I do not answer, because I am focused on that huge and cute four-legged being.

After falling apart with Petunia, I again lean on Ashton who brings me closer to them. Luke and Leah are further behind, since she practically lives with me and I’ve seen Luke before. I stick to Ash more, like a child afraid and embarrassed to talk to strangers.

“Hi!” I wave after a sigh.

Everyone gives a bigger smile and waves back. It's so weird, the way everyone looks at me, I know they know me and that's what scares me. Ashton sits me on the couch and everyone sits around me, staring at me, like I'm an alien.

“Okay, this is getting weird and uncomfortable.” I comment by holding the air.

“Sorry.” everybody talks.

“It's just… it's weird, you don't remember anything, none of those last years?” Kyleen asks curiously.

“No, no. In fact, I remembered a few things already, but in the beginning, nothing.” I give a closed smile.

“And how do the memories come? Do you have any pain?” I turn to Michael, who looks at me impressed, as if I'm a superhero of the video games that I know he plays.

“No, no pain. Do you know when you drink a lot and have a hangover that you don't remember at first and then during the day, the memories come?”

“Yes!” everyone responds, much to my surprise.

“My God! You guys drink it, huh.” I comment scared. Everyone looks at each other with a laugh. “Well, it's like that. They start popping up in my head. Sometimes out of nowhere, sometimes because of some video, photo or text.”

“Aah” they speak in unison, again.

“Any more questions?” I control the smile. My God, they really look like kids asking questions with an adult.

“Have you remembered all of us?” I look at Kyleen again. Unlike the photos, she now has several strands colored by her long hair.

I dry swallow. How to answer that without causing it?! I had remembered almost everyone but Luke. I had no direct memory of him. If he showed up, it was like an extra, deep down, far away. However, nothing he and I. Soon who I was most curious to remember.

“So-so. Nothing too direct, but everyone has already emerged in some way.” I try to answer, without being very clear.

I glance at Leah almost shouting ‘change the focus’ and luckily for me, she understands.

“What about your arm and your leg? Do they still hurt?” she shrugs.

“Not much and I made a point of reserving a space for you.” I extend the cast of my arm and in less than two minutes, everyone is proofreading to write things.

We ended up eating right there, each with a plate of pizza on your lap. I was still watching everyone, I didn't know who I was looking at, since everyone was talking together. To Noah's happiness, I remembered his hair and again Calum and I were out of breath from laughing.

In revenge, Noah commented on the day that I, drunk, tried to escape through the bathroom window and got stuck, leaving only with a lot of butter. I cover myself with the pillow when he throws the photo, my God what have I become?!

Suddenly, my mind starts to form another puzzle.

““I take a deep breath, feeling my body, especially my head, tingling. It's already the third round and I need to win again. Also because I bet with Ashton that I beat Mike and his friend, that I have no idea who he is.

I kiss the ball and throw it in the direction of the blue cup. The ball rotates around the edge and falls into the cup beside it. I shout with the whole audience at our side, celebrating. Mike turns the glass around reluctantly, while I continue my victory dance.

His friend takes the ball and plays, hitting it too. I turn the glass over, just like Michael a second ago. I blink a few times, already feeling drunk and very light. If a wind hits, I fly away, for sure.

Kiki takes the ball and closes an eye, aiming. I don't know if it's the high and mixed level of alcohol in my blood or if it really happened, but I swear I saw that little ball going in full slow motion into their last glass, signaling our victory. Three-time champions.

I raise my arms, giving, perhaps, the biggest scream I have ever given. I hug Kyleen jumping and spinning in place. However, doing this drunk is not the best option, since in a few seconds, Kiki and I were sinking into the pool.

I come back to the surface watching Mike roll over on the floor laughing and Noah looking at us both confused and angry, as always he was responsible for us. Poor boy."”

I resolve not to interrupt the conversation about the trip to Hawaii. Michael was laughing out loud as they left that Mark alone in the market. Leah once again withdraws in regret.

“Say, the sex was very good, right? Because you stayed with him for three months, something had to be really good.” Calum asks.

“Worse than not, I pretended every time.” At once, the whole room explodes in laughter. “It was a difficult time and he was always available.” she tries to justify herself. “And so complaining about it, worse than Mark just Emery.” she points to Ashton and everyone says "uuh".

“What?” I ask lost. “Was she boring?”

“Boring? Boring?” Mike raises his voice indignantly. “Luke is boring, she was unbearable.” I hold my laughter watching Luke look at Mike in offense.

“ I'm not boring.”

“Of course it is, I don't know how Marnie put up with you and your little jokes.”

“Because you never heard hers.” Luke counters and now I feel offended.

“Hey! My jokes are not bad.” I throw the cushion at him.

“Damn the jokes, let's talk bad about Emery.” Kyleen begs sly.

“I was afraid of her. She entered Calum's house by jumping over the wall, who does that?” Mike reveals.

“Was my house a pet and the hotel room in Denmark? It came out of nowhere. But nothing beats Mitch's birthday party.” Calum raises his eyebrows and once again, everyone is laughing, remembering.

“What?” but does it cost them to tell everything at once?

Noah once again takes out his cell phone and hands it to me. The video shows me and most likely Emery, tangled in a blur of hair pulling and scratching.

“That's not me.” I say in total shock to see my face very well lit.

“Oh, yes it is.” Noah answers.

“In total anger held for four long months.” Calum complete.

I watch Luke trying to get away from her, while Jack from All Time Low, tries to hold Emery. In the background I notice Calum sitting drinking, watching everything in peace. Noah was trying to get in the middle like Ashton. Leah and Kyleen shouted angrily for me to punch Emery and Michael… well.

“Who recorded this?” I ask seeing everyone pointing Michael. I look at him in awe. “Michael!”

“You wanted me to do what? I had been waiting for this moment for months.” he defends himself.

“But why did this happen?” I hand the phone back to Noah.

“Because Emery was kind of obsessive and crazy!?” Kyleen answers quietly, before drinking the beer.

“Emery never liked you and the girls, but mainly you because of our friendship. Because we were doing yoga all day. She was very jealous and you knew it, but you stayed in your corner, didn't provoke her.” Ashton responds with a grimace, perhaps knowing that the ex affair's paranoia was nonexistent. “Until that day, Emery, I don't know, freaked out and both started to argue.”

“Until you freak out and fly on her like a lioness.” Leah completes with a smile on her face.

“My God what have I become?” I sink on the couch, astonished.

“Calm down, we didn't even tell you about the time you climbed on Calum’s roof to jump into the pool and got stuck in your pants.” Michael ‘tries’ to calm me down.

[acertainsomeone]

Finding us- EdSer one shot

If he had any doubts before, this incident cleared them altogether. Eda Yildiz had not only taken over his holding and life but his dog as well. He couldn't come to terms with the fact that his best friend, his dog, whom he had brought up since he was a baby, had turned his back on him. Ever since he proposed to Selin, Eda had asked Seyfi bey to get Sirius back to Bolat place. Not that she didn't love him anymore, she found it appropriate that the dog was returned to his rightful owner. She didn't wish anymore for Serkan to treat her worse, if fate planned, his memories will come back otherwise she was not going to desperately beg him to choose her over Selin. It wasn't about pride. Her love was much more than self-respect. She realized that Serkan was scared of her because she managed to strike chords of his heart that were nonexistent for him. If she pushed him further, if she hovered over his head, he would be irked and god forbid if something serious happened to his health, she won't be able to forgive herself.  

Sirius wasn't home, this was twice in the last three days that he had managed to escape. Serkan's pride was too much to call Eda and ask her to pay a visit to Sirius. Usually, he came back wagging his tail, it wasn't hard to spot him around but this time Serkan panicked. He checked the entire neighborhood and every possible place where Sirius could've gone. He had lost his memories; he couldn't afford to lose him.

"Where are you oğlum ?" He drove across the seats of Istanbul in apprehension. His heart skipped a beat thinking of a much worse possibility. Sirius wasn't among those dogs who get along with people, forget strangers.

What if somebody tried to harm him?

It wasn't hard to come across such crackheads, who would hurt animals for their pleasure.  

"Alo" Serkan answered his phone in panic upon seeing Eda's name on the screen. She was going to chide him enough for being so careless.

As if he wasn't to be blamed in her eyes already

"No need to wander around the streets, Sirius is with me. I'm sending you the location. Hadi gel." Her voice was devoid of any emotions, she didn't let him speak and hung up asap. 

 Did he make a mistake?

What was this place? And why would Sirius come here? He wondered while climbing the steps of the apartment. He entered and found a wounded Sirius lying in Eda's lap. He was asleep, and Eda was caressing his head.

"SIRIUS!" He cried in panic, and Eda glared at him for being so loud. 

"Shhhh you're gonna wake him."  

'What happened?" He asked incredulously. Sitting beside Eda, caressing his only best friend with affection.

"I think he ran from your place - to find me. He would've expected me to be at the park. Few children hit him there. Thankfully, I was there for a walk and spotted him immediately."

"What park? I checked all places where he could be."

"There are places that became Sirius's preference, if not yours." She rolled her eyes

"Anyways Serkan, tell me in all honesty, can you take care of him or not? I can't risk his life like this."

He was about to fight back with a 'he's my dog' but he knew that would've turned into a nasty conversation. He owed a thank you to Eda.

"Teşekkürler Eda."  

Eda looked at him plainly. It was hurting him to see her eyes without that love he was used to seeing ever since he came back. Why was it bothering him?  He pushed her away, that's what he wanted.

"You stay with him tonight. He needs to rest."  

"What is this place?" Serkan asked

"Home." She sighed in reverence. "I mean your home, you shifted here."

"Neden."

"I'll leave that story for your fiancé to tell after all she had been telling you everything, and you only believe her."

Eda picked her bag and stood up. "There's food in the fridge. Sirius's food is by the coffee table. And-        your room is upstairs."  She seemed in a hurry. He felt she was only telling him this to fulfill an obligation. He could feel her restless. But why? He had no idea

Serkan examined his room carefully. He was amazed Selin hadn't told him about moving out. The bedroom screamed that he was in a relationship with her Eda Yildiz.

Yok, the bed was made and broken lamps were fixed.

It had their memories. Her memories and belongings. Belongings that he would've never allowed in his premises.

Her clothes and undergarments were piled up along his. Her toothbrush and other toiletries were neatly placed in the bathroom. It didn't seem that they were placed there recently.

A weird sensation was pulling him towards those things. He ran his fingers through her belongings, having flashbacks. They were vivid.

For the first time, he heard her cackling voice too. It was blurry but even his bones could tell that they were in bed, and – he was doing things to make her laugh.

It can't be me

He shook his head in denial.

Serkan opened a drawer and found a USB. It wasn't the USB that grabbed his attention but the flower and note attached to it. That was his handwriting

"For us to remember all the good times- just in case."

***  

"Serkannn!! Would you stop? Look at my state." A sleepy yet annoyed Eda shrieked at Serkan, who was prolly filming a video. He chuckled at her words, not paying attention to whatever she said.

"Eda I know how you look like without clothes." She threw a pillow at his head, and the video disrupted. "Watch out!"

"Are you filming us naked in bed?"

"Hayır, I'm filming this for us to remember that you can't stay mad at me for long." He replied in amusement. This was one of those nights when she had been mad at him but they made out in less than a moment.

"You think too highly of yourself Serkan bolat."

"I've got the brightest star for myself. Shouldn't I?"

"Can you stop this? I have to get up Serkan!"

"How about first you record a message for an 80-year-old Eda, who might've forgotten me?"

"How are you sure that it can't be you."

"I love you way too much to forget you. More than you could. We can bet on that." He winked at her shamelessly

"Tamam." She wasn't going to fight him on this. Eda moved forward cautiously wrapping her naked self with the duvet and kissed Serkan on the tip of his nose.

"This message is for old, yet madly in love Mr. and Mrs. Bolat! No matter how hard the times are, no matter how grave misunderstandings can be, no matter how bleak the road of hope is, we will find our way back, together." 

"Always." He said with a smile and pulled her into a kiss. The video was for them so it didn't matter if it was all being recorded in that state. 

*** 

We don't choose our parents, we don't choose our family, and at times life doesn't allow us to choose our partner as well. He would've never in his right mind made an illogical choice of falling for Eda Yildiz.

Yet he did

Did he make a mistake?

Because all that he had given her in this relationship was pain, so far.

The video brought back a bunch of memories. Their first kiss, first fight, first night, and the last goodbye.

Serkan was mercilessly driving on the empty roads of Istanbul. It was raining heavily and he was drenched. This rain could've made him sick, terribly

But did he even care anymore?

He had hurt the most important person in his life. He ruined everything

How could he forget her of all people? Serkan always claimed to love Eda more than she could. His love was fragile

He sobbed mercilessly, wishing to hit the car somewhere and end this pain. Events of the past few weeks circulated in front of his eyes. The way he was indifferent towards her. The way he resisted her touch and broke her heart all over again.

I never deserved her

He smacked his head against the steering wheel. His tears blocked his vision and he had no idea that he was driving beyond the speed limit with an absolutely insane state of mind.

Suddenly it grew all dark. He couldn't see anything. It felt that the steering wheel was moving in its own direction

All he could hear was noise. Eda's cries and his broken promises.

He was sitting in the police station absentmindedly. Eda was completing the formalities. They hadn't had any eye contact so far else he would've started crying right there. She took him by his arm as if he was lifeless.

"Serkan noldu? You were absolutely fine when I left." She asked him apprehensively, careful not to touch him. "Do you want me to call someone? Selin-"

She stopped immediately. He looked at her for the first time. 

The gaze

Eda caught her breath. It was him. 

It was really him

She knew that man 

Those eyes, they weren't of a stranger. Those eyes recognized her, and she had seen love for her in them. But why was she seeing something stronger than love right now? Anguish

"Serkan!" She gasped unbelievingly. Her hands wrapped around his face possessively as if he'd leave this time if she didn't hold him tight

"I-" he was struggling with words. Should he tell her how scared he was when the pilot told them that the plane was going to crash? How he cursed himself for leaving her behind? Or how much he loves her? Where do I begin

Eda sobbed with happiness. She did not know what to say anymore. He was there, right in front of her. Her Serkan. Her robot bolat

The man who loved her

They were sitting at the shore. Looking blankly at the sea. The waves were calm but their hearts weren't. He had held her hand, and the grip was so strong that it was hurting her a bit but she didn't complain۔

"Eda" he broke the silence

"I don't even have words to ask for your forgiveness. I made another mistake, I broke your heart once again, didn't fulfill my promise, and became the reason for your tears." He was stuttering۔ words weren't leaving his mouth easily whereas Eda kept on looking at him with tears in her eyes

"What I did in the last few weeks can't be forgiven. I've hurt you. I won't beg you to return back to me. I can't make mistakes repeatedly and expect you to stand by the road waiting for me. I-" He stopped and his voice broke further

"Eda you might not want me back in your life but can you please forgive me? One last time? I won't be able to live with the fact that you hate me. Just don't hate me please"

He was begging her, his hands joined together in front of her pleading for forgiveness. His eyes were screaming in pain. He won't be able to bear that hate in this heart. If she stopped caring for him, he won't even bat an eye, but accepting the fact that she despises him? Serkan Bolat would die.

He knew he was being selfish. Yet again, he was thinking of himself. But he was selfish, he never deserved someone as selfless as Eda Yildiz. He disgraced their love, he ruined their relationship, and now if she wished to discontinue this fragile relationship, he won't subject.

"I failed our love Eda. I failed you." She could tell that he was not able to breathe properly. Eda's heart sunk the moment he adjoined his hands in front of her. With each pleading, it felt as if someone was squeezing her heart mercilessly.

"Fate failed us Serkan." She sniffed between her sobs. Her hands cupped his face immediately. She wanted to protect him, she wanted to curl his masculine self among her soft frame. She wished to provide him that comfort and safety his heart seek for the last few months.

He was asking her to forgive him. He feared that she hated him now. How could she?

Serkan had become more than a partner for her, he was a part of her. We don't detach ourselves from what lies within us.

He looked at her disbelievingly. Eda wiped his face with her palms. No more crying. They had enough, more than enough. The pain they had endured was enough for a lifetime.

"We'll leave. Somewhere far away, nobody could find us. Away from this mess, this hate, this chaos. Serkan we have each other. We are not going to let them ruin our happiness."

Was she for real?

"Tamam?" Eda pestered. He nodded in return, unable to say something.

"Seni cok seviyorum." Serkan mumbled only for her to hear as she adorned his face with delicate kisses.

"I have so much to tell you." She sighed in between.

"Where are you taking us?" He did not know why he was asking this. It didn't matter, the question came out of his mouth involuntarily.

"We are going to look for phoenixes." He did not know what that meant but he need not ask. As long as she was there, he didn't have to worry about anything. Eda embraced him protectively like a child. He was in his safe haven.

He was finally saved from the crash. 

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 2

It was an unusually hot day, so i pulled out Mason's kiddy pool and filled it for him to cool off in. I was sat on one of the sun loungers close by reading my book where i could still keep an eye on him.

"Mom?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Is auntie Hannah coming round soon with Lucas? Im bored"

"They should be here soon buddy" i smiled over at him.

"Okay.... im hungry"

"Fine.... i'll go get you something but you have to come out the water while i'm inside...."

"Oh mom i dont wanna get out...."

"Mace come on now...." i rolled my eyes putting my book down.

"Knock knock" i heard a very familiar voice call out from behind, i turned and stared wide eyed at none other than Scott Evans!!

"Scott.... what... what are you doing here?" I asked standing up and walking over to the back gate to let him in.

"Chris told me where you were, i had to come see you! I've missed you! You stopped replying to my messages and wouldn't take my calls...."

"Yeah i'm sorry Scott, that was a dick move" i nodded, I had been friends with the Evan's since we were kids.... best friends with Chris and Scott "i was dealing with some stuff.... guess i didn't handle it well"

"I can see that" he said looking over at Mason who was sat in the pool with his back to us as he crashed some toys around "he yours?"

"He is, thats Mason"

"Well you gonna introduce me properly??" He asked being his usual sassy self!

"Sure, come on over" i led the way over to where Mason was playing feeling my heart racing, i hadn't been this nervous in forever!

"Hey Mace? I want you to meet a friend of mine...."

Mason turned to face us and i heard Scott audibly gasp.

"This is my friend Scott"

"Hi" he said shyly looking Scott over.

"Hey bud, its nice to meet you...." Scott smiled at Mason before turning his attention to me with wide eyes as Mason carried on playing as if we wasn't there.

"Is there something you need to tell me Y/N?....."

I looked away from Scott keeping my eyes on my son, i shook my head in disbelief..... i did not expect to be having this conversation today!

"You know his a spitting image...."

"I know Scott! Im not blind" i snapped.

"But how?? I mean i know how! But...."

"Hey! Its just us...." i heard Hannah call from inside, she always let herself in.

"Hey.... oh shit"

"Hey Hannah, good to see you" Scott smiled with a little wave.

"Scott..... what a surprise..."

"Han, can you watch Mason while i go inside and talk to Scott?" I asked as i shifted nervously on the spot.

"Sure".

"Hi auntie Y/N!" Lucas said loudly as he ran past me heading to Mason.

"Hey buddy" i smiled at him as i led the way into the house with Scott following close behind.

"Okay so spill it" Scott said breaking the awkward silence between us as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table.

"What do you already know? What did Chris tell you about us?...." i asked avoiding eye contact with him.

"Well obviously i know the two of you used to hook up occasionally.... he said he just lost contact with you when you left town"

"Wow....." i scoffed shaking my head "is your brother still an asshole?"

"Why are you calling him an asshole? I thought you guys were friends??"

"We were. Then we were more.....or at least i thought so"

"You two were serious?"

"I guess not"

"He never said anything...."

"Before he made it 'big' with the whole Captain America thing we were serious"

"How serious?"

"Serious enough to get married....."

"Im sorry WHAT???!!"

"Yep"

"How did i not know about this??? when did this happen??" he stared at me with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open as he tried to process the information.

"You remember the weekend in Vegas for my birthday, before he started filming Winter Soldier?....that one night you got food poisoning and stayed in bed..."

"You got married in Vegas?! were you both drunk??"

"Nope, stone cold sober" i shrugged "god i loved him Scott.... he was telling me he loved me and talking about starting a family..... we walked past a chapel and he asked me to marry him. Promised we'd do it properly when we got home...."

"My god...... so what happened?"

"Chris wanted to wait until he finished filming to tell everyone.... or so he said. When he came home once he was done filming he told me we had made a mistake. His career was taking off and he wouldn't have time for a wife..... he was getting a lot of attention from women, he didn't want to be tied down with me did he?"

"Did he say that?!"

"He didn't have to, he was pictured with different women all the time" i shrugged.

"What an asshole!" Scott spat sounding pissed at his brother "how could he do that to you of all people??"

I shook my head as i thought back on the time i was heartbroken.... pining for my best friend... my husband, and he had so easily forgotten about me, i quickly wiped a stray tear away before Scott could see.

"I found out i was pregnant two weeks later. I tried calling him but he never answered or returned my messages..... so i made a choice. I decided to pack up and leave, start somewhere new where i could raise my baby. I received divorce papers shortly after which i signed and returned, i didnt want anything to do with him"

"You should have called me! I wouldve talked some sense into him!"

"He didn't want me Scott let alone a baby.... he made his choice and i made mine" i smiled looking out the window at my beautiful boy "i dont regret it for a second, Mason is my world. He's my perfect little boy.... even if he does look like a spitting image of his father. Thats the hardest part.... its the eyes.... he has his eyes".

Scott was suddenly beside me pulling me into his arms and holding me tight.

"Im so sorry sweetie"

"Its fine.... it was a long time ago.... when Chris showed up here yesterday i nearly had a heart attack!" I mumbled against Scotts chest.

"I bet.... why was he here?"

"Apparently we're still married! That jackass never filed the papers! But now he's seeing someone and its getting serious he wants the option of marrying her"

"You should tell him about Mason....."

"I can't Scott, he'd hate me.... what if he tried to take Mason from me?"

"He wouldn't do that, he might want a chance to get to know his son but he wouldn't hurt you like that....."

"Can you be sure? 100% sure that he wouldn't want to take Mason?? I've seen some of his interviews about wanting kids...."

"Don't you want Mason to know his father?"

"Of course! You dont think i wanted my son to have a dad? I tried to tell him Scott but he ghosted me!"

"Look i love my brother you know that, i know what he was like a few years back, he went through a phase of being an absolute douche bag..... but his different now"

"I'll think about it okay?"

"Okay..... i'll be there for you through it all i promise"

"Thank you Scotty, god I've missed you" i smiled giving him another hug "you staying for lunch? Mason's hungry"

"Id love to".

Scotts POV

Y/N stood at the front door waving me off with Mason, my NEPHEW! I still couldn't believe it.... Chris was a Father!!

I waved to them both as i pulled away and started my drive home. 20 minutes into my journey my cell started to ring, i looked down to see it was Chris calling.

"Hey"

"Hey, what you up to?"

"Just on my way home, i went to go see Y/N"

"Oh.... h..how was she?"

"Surprised to see me, but she was good"

"Good, thats good. What did she tell you?" He sounded worried, nervous even.

"I know everything...." i huffed out a breath "how could you be so fucking stupid Chris?? you married our best friend.... our oldest friend and then left her!"

"I was such an asshole back then.... i know, but i can't change that now can i?"

"No i guess not"

"It was so good seeing her yesterday man, made me realise how much I've missed her. I was hoping we could work things out, be friends at least but.... Scott she fucking hates me!"

"Can't say i blame her....."

"Im not that guy anymore Scott" he said sadly and i knew that, id seen the change in my brother over the years.

"Try and talk to her again, maybe she just needed to get over the shock of seeing you"

"You think she'd wanna see me?"

"I have no clue, but if you want to sort things out with her your going to have to make an effort with her. Let her see your not the same asshole that left her"

"Maybe i should just leave her alone, she's been fine without me...."

"Chris..... i wasn't going to say anything but theres something you should know...."

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 (it wont tag you) @katiew1973 @denisemarieangelina

[getnight]

So, hi, here is the part of my big fic about sons of Mike&Rachel and Harvey&Donna. It's just a little piece. Actually, Chris and Tyler (their sons) are my Original characters, but... I like them) And, yeah, we haven't Marvey at Canon, so i did their children in love. They are cute, I think🌚 Soooo... Maybe you'll be interested. Yeah.

Christopher caught up with Tyler in a few seconds, yanking off his hood and grabbing him lightly by the neck with his forearm. The boy flinched, leaned back and tried to pull his arm away, and when he failed, he tried to fall with his attacker to the side of the road. At that moment, Chris let go.

— Hey, Tyle, take it easy. This is me, — He steadied Tyler from falling and stood beside him, brushing him off.

— You... why did you do that? — Tyler frowned, pulling the headphones out of his ears and pinching a lollipop to his cheek.

— Why are you so cute? You're a formidable genius, but you love lollipops and you frown like you're five instead of fifteen.

— I'm not cute, keep your high energy endorphins with yourself, — Tyler pulled up his hood, turned around, and was about to continue walking when Chris literally dived in front of him, blocking the way.

They faced each other. Chris was literally a centimeter taller, but he had rather broad shoulders, which made him look much bigger than Tyler.

— Hey,— Christopher whispered.

— What? — Tyler replied.

Chris smiled fondly as he pulled back his hood.

— That's better. I love your hair, — he hesitated for a second, then gently took Tyler's hand, the other gently pulling the candy out of Ross' mouth and tugging at his wrist, pulling him into a soft, chaste kiss that Tyler happily responded to. Christopher's other hand went to the back of the boy's head, and he felt long fingers on his waist. When they finally parted, Chris said:

— Good morning, Tyle, — and he smiled sincerely, expecting something like that in return: "Don't call me that”.

— Good morning, Topha, — and the kind of smile that only Tyler Harvey Ross could give. Sincere and pure. The one that no one but those closest to her had ever seen. The one that opened the veil of a brilliant, sullen guy.

The nickname "Topha" seemed strange to Chris. It was indeed a derivative of his name, Christopher, but how Tyler came up with it... no one ever found out. Parents said that as a child, baby Ross could not pronounce Chris ' full name and called him "Topha". And so it turned out. Since then, Tyler only calls his boyfriend that when no one is looking.

Tyler pulled the hood up again. His clothes were no different from what he always wore. Black ripped jeans, a huge black hoodie, and... something had changed that day.

— I'm not going to ask about the paint stain, or what wall you painted on the way here, but do I really see your badge? — Chris stared at the rainbow-colored iron circle attached to the left side of Tyler's chest.

— Exactly one year, three hundred and sixty five days, eight thousand seven hundred and sixty-six hours, five million two hundred and fifty-six thousand minutes ago, I first realized that I was in love with you, — Tyler said calmly.

Christopher choked and blushed. No, no, no, no. Damn, why is he so bad with emotions?

— I'm sorry, I… — Specter whispered, and suddenly felt a warm hand on his cheek.

Tyler looked at him, not affectionately, not solicitously, just calmly.

— It's all right. I know we'll be working on your emotional range, — he said.

— God, — Chris suddenly smiled, — How do you do that? How can you so easily talk about your feelings and understand them, but absolutely not be able to communicate with people? — he abruptly hoisted the thin Tyler onto his shoulder, running ahead of him down the road.

At first there were attempts to resist and shouts that they would be seen, but then the guy just hung on Chris ' back.

— You took my lollipop, by the way, — he mumbled.

— Is that the only thing that bothers you? Christopher laughed.

— No, the fact that you laugh for some reason means that you experience joy, happiness, euphoria, fun or…

The schoolhouse loomed up ahead, and Chris lowered his boyfriend to the ground.

— Here, just shut up, highactivity sociopath, — he said, handing Tyler a lollipop he'd taken from his backpack. Yes, he always had such a supply. It was the most important thing in his things. What Chris checked every day before he left for school. Ever since he had the pocket money. That is, from the age of nine.

Tyler's face lit up with a childlike smile, and he took the candy, opened it, put it in his mouth, and said through it:

— You can't blame my love of Sherlock.

— I'm not blameing.

Tyler's entire room was covered with posters, quote sheets, DVD boxes taped to tape, and other decorations. By the way, the love of watching movies on DVD was instilled in Tyler by Chris ' father.

Christopher never disapproved of posters and things like that, no. Conversely. He thought it was extremely cute. In his room, despite the fact that he had both favorite movies and favorite bands, there was not a single poster. Somehow, he had never been attracted to such a way of designing a room.

A couple in love walked towards the school, holding hands. Tyler, who was always more open with Chris, chatted about how he'd tried to curl his hair again over the weekend, which he did often, and he liked it. Chris, always a sociable bully-athlete in front of everyone and a little modest, relaxed and allowing himself to revel in his mind, not strength, and the mind of the person he talks to, in front of Tyler, listened carefully to his boyfriend, once saying that he wanted to make Tyler's curls himself one day.

Closer to the school, they uncoupled their hands. At school, they are just childhood best friends, close brothers. There may be rumors that will quickly reach the teachers, and from them to the parents. Both Chris and Tyler agreed to hide it from the families at all costs. They didn't know what the reaction and consequences would be, so the longer their relationship was kept secret, the better.

— I have literature, — Tyler said, pulling his hood up again and searching for something in his backpack.

— Math, — Chris said.

— Here. I drew it yesterday. Will you watch it? Tyler waved his hand, closed his backpack, and walked away, putting in his headphones.

Christopher hated painting, drawing, and galleries. But there was one exception. The exception who bore the name was Tyler Harvey Ross. His boyfriend was an incredible artist, he drew a lot of different sketches, gradually a whole pile formed in his desk drawer. These drawings were never shown to anyone other than Chris. Moreover, Specter suspected that even he did not know all of Tyler's works.

— Chris! — a voice called out.

Christopher turned.

— Let's go to class, buddy — said the guy who flew up.

— Where are you going in such a hurry, Jim? Christopher chuckled.

Jim was one of the guys on the football team.

Jim ruffled Chris ' red hair.

— Come on.

They entered the classroom,where there were already quite a few people. Christopher walked past a girl who was eating grapes and brazenly stole one of the berries.

—Thank you, — he chuckled.

The girl said nothing. Everyone is used to it. Chris Specter is a real badass.

The teacher appeared and the bell rang.

When everyone had calmed down, and the rowdy teammates and friends were deep in math, a topic that he and Tyler had gone through with Uncle Mike a year ago, Chris pulled out a drawing, unfolding it.

It was their portrait. Him and Tyler. Just a sketch, not even painted, but Christopher just couldn't look away. The two of them were standing on the pavement of New York City, high-rise buildings behind them, and a car was driving in the foreground. Chris was hanging up the Topha Coffee sign on the stairs. The building he hung it on says "Open," and there are all kinds of cakes and other desserts in the windows. Inside, there are a couple of tables and a counter. On the sides of the picture are depicted tree branches with birds. Tylee himself was standing a little apart from his boyfriend, his index finger outstretched, apparently instructing him on how to hang up the sign. Tyler's self-portrait was perfect. It was the coal-black hair with the little curls, the ice-blue eyes (the eyes of both of them were the only color spots in the drawing), the thick eyebrows, the lean body hidden under a large apron that Chris found charming, wide nose and sharp cheekbones.

Christopher seemed to be busy with the sign, and Tyler was busy with putting it up, but their eyes were only on each other. And there was life in those eyes, real life. Frozen, yes. But it's real. Perhaps such a picture was their dream. Chris wanted to move to New York, and Tyler wanted to open his own cozy little coffee shop with his paintings hanging on the walls.

A couple of times Specter asked his boyfriend if his genius mind would not be bored in such a routine. Tiley just smiled and shook his head. Then Chris realized that the teenager himself did not know. He wants a simple quiet happiness, but at the same time not to lose his mind and genius. He's afraid of society, shuns it, finds it boring and disturbing, but he wants to see people smile when they drink his freshly made coffee or try a piece of that apple pie that Edith Ross, Tyler's great-grandmother, then Uncle Mike, and now Tyler himself, baked. He rushes around, not knowing where to put himself and what to do.

Maybe they should just finish school first and enjoy their youth. And then… Then they will definitely come up with how it will be. They will tell their parents about their relationship, go to university, and who knows what will happen next. We'll see. That was Chris ' opinion.

The bell rang in the hallway, dismissing all the students for recess. Christopher carefully folded the drawing and put it in his pocket. They'll meet at dinner, they always do. And this day will be no exception.

That's what Christopher thought as he walked out of the math room with his friends in his arms. But perhaps this day will be something that will soon change their entire lives and views on her, their family and each other.

[love-amihan]

FIRST IMPRESSIONS // MIMI'S FAVES

amihan's note: this is just self-indulge i can't get enough of them 😭 i got this random idea wherein i showed my mom + friends the following pictures of my faves and what are their first impressions. i may also include some first meeting w/ my mom scenarios and more of what i think they will interpret them as. modern au of course, happy reading!

lil side note: my friend questioned me after sending all these pics, she was like "mimi u do realize these r lines" but ma'am u don't understand they r attractive lines!

info; aunt is what u call ur close friend's mother. mano is a sign of respect/greeting to elderly wherein you take their hand and bring it to your forehead i honestly don't know how to explain it

✨ jjk masterlist ✨

self insert, it's mimi x her faves!

-gojo satoru

mom said he reminds her of someone from slam dunk because of the art style, kinda brings back memories for her

most likely to be part of a cult

++ will invite u to join (i swear my friends r something)

yandere vibes

as i quote from my friend "cross my fingers, hope to die"

he will get along with my group of friends i swear

ngl, i'm 100% sure that gojo flirted with one of my friend before

gojo and mimi are gonna meet her group of friends for the first time, "shit" he curses under his breath, mimi turns her head to him and slightly tilted her head to the side "what?" gojo takes a deep breath before saying it in one breath "i may or may not have flirted with one of your friends before"

mimi was about to ask him to repeat again when she heard her friend "satoru?!" gojo gave a sheepish smile "heyyyy" he slowly distances himself with mimi afraid of her "oh let me guess, you're one of the victims?" mimi excitedly pipes in while laughing, her friend laughs along with her while shrugging "you think im surprised anymore you hoe?" mimi teased patting gojo's arm

he's the type to join in on our pamper night, i just see it clearly. also my mom tolerating his childishness

mimi and her mom are having one of their pamper night after having a long week, mimi was applying the mask on her face carefully while humming a tune. gojo who just got in their house saw the bond between the two "auntieee~ i want one too!" he whined while pointing at the masks.

"come here sato" mimi's mom coos at him, clearly babying the man. mimi crosses her arms finished with her mask looking at her so-called man with a smile adoring her lips "you know i wonder sometimes if i got myself a man or a child" gojo let out a dramatic gasp "auntie she's bullying me" mimi's mom played along and playfully glare at her, mimi giggles at this "also shut up you love me~" gojo added.

-okkotsu yuta

that guy who laughs at uncertain situations (if u only know what he's really like ✋)

class clown

softboi (yes he is ma'am!)

happy go lucky

lowkey yandere vibes

i feel like my friends already loves him because they were the one who introduced him

mimi and her friends are hanging out at their usual bench chatting away until one of them noticed the small group of guys passing by. "hey!" one of her friend shouted waving her hand before gesturing for them to come over.

they soon arrived where mimi and her friends are, a young boy with a sweet smile caught mimi's eyes. she gulps looking back to her friend who's introducing the group, "and he's yuta" she finishes with her arm around yuta her other hand giving his chest little pats. mimi nod to herself trying not to forget his name.

definitely met my mom before, helping her with her grocery or something. mom took a liking of him because he's kind and polite

yuta knocks on the door nervously chewing his bottom lip, mimi opened the door and smiles at him, the raven head returning it with shaky breath "come in" yuta politely comes in and to his surprise saw a familiar face "oh you're that sweet boy" mimi's mom exclaimed softly smiling as yuta gave his greeting taking her hand bringing it towards his forehead.

"you met before?" mimi chimes in looking at the two "i helped her carry her things since she's having some trouble" yuta explained his nervousness slowly fading away, mimi's mother turns to her daughter "i love him already! you're definitely marrying him" mimi's mother then welcomes yuta to their home with open arms "mom!" mimi shouted in embarrassment. yuta lets out a chuckle, relieved that he was welcomed right away.

-fushiguro megumi

cold type

major daddy vibes (all i can say is megumi's their type-)

cool aura

doesn't give a fuck type of guy

my friends probably heard of him because of me

mimi was walking around the campus together with a friend of hers, they were talking about usual school stuffs. sharing all the stress and pressure they're feeling having to be the leader of their own respective group.

mimi came to a stop when she noticed the quiet preserve guy who's walking towards the elevator hands on his pocket. after pushing the button, he cracks his neck side to side his hand soothing the crook of his neck. "let's go use the elevator" was all she said before dragging her friend.

the three walks inside the elevator without a word, mimi and her friend stayed behind as megumi stands in front of them pushing the button of his classroom's floor. mimi's friend can't help but snicker, mimi pinches her side telling her to stop.

megumi turns and gesture at the floor buttons "which floor?" his low voice making mimi's knees weak in the knees, mimi's friend was having fun seeing her friend malfunction in front of a hot guy. she giggles not wanting to embarrass her more than she did "oh we're in the same floor, it's all good"

mom likes him when i showed his pic! *cough* one of her fave *cough*

got nervous with meeting mom for the first time but soon relaxed with mom's calming and friendly nature, all in all mom still likes him

-inumaki toge

crazy type of guy

gives off the always sleeping guy

playful type

"oh wow its hot in here" seductively lowers his collars

daddy- (i- ma'am-)

bad boy!!

serious

mom said rock 'n roll but let's forget that

i'm gonna be honest, i feel like he's gonna be part of my friends, my "kapag tropa lang tropa lang rule" (basically translates to: if u're friend just stay as friends rule) will be broken just for him;

toge and mimi was known to be touchy with each other in their group of friends. toge trusts mimi more than the others, he shows this by doing simple things such as leaving his id with her if ever he goes somewhere or do something.

their friends mostly find them leaning in each other's shoulder whenever they are given a break or during their little talks. "you know i saw this new.." their friend started explaining, all of them listening. toge gets into a more comfortable spot leaning his head on mimi's shoulder busy with scrolling on his phone. once in a while showing mimi something funny or interesting.

mom will likely take time to warm up to him. toge will do his best to get on her good side, shows his charms. once he gets mom's approval there's no turning back. he gets treated like he was her own son.

toge smiles at mimi's mother sweetly, "what's your name?" as toge took her hand making mano with her (stop i dunno how to phrase it) "inumaki toge, auntie" mimi's mother let out a soft gasp, "the inumaki toge?" toge looks at the direction where mimi disappeared, a little confused by what's happening. he looks back at mimi's mother about to ask why she knows him.

"mimi won't stop talking about you!" mimi's mother informed as toge's mouth left agape, mimi who happen to get back at the right moment grumble "mom why did you tell him?!" she said through gritted teeth. mimi's mom have a sweet smile on her face faking a surprise.

"oh i wasn't suppose to? oops?" mimi grumbles more standing beside toge who now have a smug look on his face, "you talk about me huh?" he began, mimi gave him a playful shove "shut up."

-ryomen sukuna

DADDY!!

most likely to kill me

intimidating

unique looking

mom really likes him!

thinks his tattoos and aura is cool

if my friends saw a picture of him they will immediately question me

he's a snitch, i hate his snitch ass ugh

mimi's mom did not like sukuna from the picture at all, she doesn't have any problem with people who have tattoo but he got it all over him. we can say that mimi's mom is kinda looking out for the both of them because their relatives are just too traditional and doesn't like the looks of tattoos.

however, sukuna soon got her approval! how you ask? well the mf snitched without knowing. sukuna nudges mimi's side lightly, trying to start conversation "how's the piercing?" mimi's eyes widen looking at sukuna hissing, "kuna no!" mimi whisper yell at him. mimi then felt her mother's glare, "is that why you've been wearing your hair down often?"

sukuna got confused then looks at mimi's mom "care to explain?" he took this as a chance to get on her good side "yeah mimi, care to explain?" mimi looks at her significant other not believing what's happening, mimi looks back and forth between the two 'this mf a snitch' mimi thought.

mimi then explained herself blaming sukuna since he's the one who pushed to get her cartilage piercing "don't blame sukuna, you should have told me" mom defended him, mimi gasp as she looks at sukuna who's smirking at her with the 'i won' face that mimi wanna punch off his face.

a lil bg; i already told my mom b4 that i want cartilage piercing but then she got wary with the news of someone got in a coma after getting it so in the end sadly, she only allowed me to get the lobe piercings.

cover: one piece's baby 5